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Paddy's first thought was that Dave looked thin. Not surprising - the glasshouse wasn't exactly a haute cuisine type of place. Thin and small and old. But Paddy mustered up a grin anyway. "Welcome home."
Dave didn't say anything.
"You all right?"
It took a moment for Dave to smile. "Course I am." He didn't meet Paddy's eyes. "Where's Donna? Thought she'd be here to meet me."
Most wives would be. Donna wasn't most wives. Which was why Dave had been banged up in the first place, of course. "She's got a bit of a surprise for you. Back home." Assuming Nance had managed to control her, anyway.
"Oh, aye." Dave didn't look particularly excited.
"You're not rushing off?"
"Nah. I just..." Dave slung his pack on to his shoulder. "Bit of a shock to be back, y'know?"
"Guess it would be." Paddy took a couple of steps towards married quarters. "You coming?"
Dave glanced back at the Land Rover peeling out of the yard and sighed. "On the double."
Paddy watched as Dave leaned against the door, waiting for Donna to open it. Eventually she did.
Five minutes after the door shut behind them, the yelling started.
"I don't know why I made such a fuss about staying in," Dave said, peering out of the bivvy at the rain. "At least on the outside I'd have a bloody roof over me head."
"Cheer up, Dave." Paddy thumped Dave on the back. "I hear Pasco laid on these manoevres just for you. Done special to make you feel welcome, he cares so much."
"Aye, well, I'd be happy with feeling unwelcome, ta." Dave shifted his rifle to a slightly less uncomfortable position. "I could feel perfectly unwelcome down in the pub, like."
"Unhappy, Tucker?"
Paddy only just avoided jumping. What was it with Pasco that meant he could sneak up without you hearing a sound? "We're having the time of our lives, thanks. Can't beat that feeling of rain running down the back of your neck."
"Mm." Pasco smiled. "Invigorating, isn't it?"
"Is that what you call it?" Dave grumbled and Paddy hit him.
Pasco crouched down so he was face to face with Tucker. "Of course, if you'd built your bivvy properly, you wouldn't be getting wet."
"Ah, c'mon, sir. There's nothing here to build a bloody bivvy out of!"
"Sergeant Wilton seems to have done well enough."
Paddy kicked Dave before he could say anything. "We all strive to be as good as Tony, sir."
"Yes." Pasco's look at Dave said a lot. "Perhaps you should."
Paddy watched Pasco tramp off into the darkness, no doubt hunting down the next pair of unlucky squaddies. "Why do I keep ending up paired with you, you useless lump?" Paddy said and threw his spare socks at Dave.
"It's me sparkling personality."
"That and the fact that nobody else'll have you." Paddy sighed. "You can take first watch. I'm getting some kip before this place is flooded."
Paddy woke up to Dave shaking his shoulder. "What?" he asked, not bothering to keep the grumpiness out of his voice.
"You awake?"
"No, I'm snoring happily and dreaming about Nance in a nurse's uniform. What time is it?"
"I just wanted to say. Y'know. Thanks. I mean for, like, sticking by us."
Paddy yawned and considered looking at his own watch. That would mean taking his arm out of his sleeping bag and it was cold out there. "Couldn't you have thanked me some other time?"
"You don't get it unless you've been in there. Jesus, Paddy, I didn't think I was going to last six months. I mean, I thought it was tough when I was here but the glasshouse..."
Typical Dave, having his crises at arse o'clock in the morning. "Come on, Dave."
"I'm never going back. I'm serious, Paddy. They try to make me and I'll run. I'll leave the country, even."
"Don't be daft, Dave. You're not going to go back. Not if you keep your nose clean."
Dave laughed shortly. "Aye, well, that's it. You learn things about yourself in there."
This wasn't going to go away and Paddy sat up. "What're you on about?"
He could just see Dave's eyes, gleaming slightly as he looked up. "I think I'm gay."
Paddy blinked. "Jesus, Dave. You have got to be having me on."
"You've heard all the jokes about prison life but it really weren't anything like that. It's just, I started off thinking about Donna all the time. But then you wrote to say she was back and Carol sorted out her visiting me and then I didn't think about her any more."
"And that makes you gay?" Paddy grinned with relief. "Dave, you are a prize tosser at times. Just means you're not in love with Donna."
"I was thinking about somebody else instead."
The relief turned solid in his throat. "Dave."
"I was thinking about you."
"Fuck, Dave."
"I didn't want to!"
"I'm not bloody surprised." Paddy rubbed his face. "You can't tell anyone, that's for sure. Not if you want to stay in the Army."
"I know, I know." There was a long pause before Dave spoke again. "I don't even know if I am gay, though. It's not like I've ever done anything."
It took a moment for that to sink in. "No fucking way. Not a chance." Dave didn't say anything and Paddy cleared his throat. "I'm in love with Nancy." It wasn't meant to come out quite so pleading.
"I was in love with Donna."
"So now you're, what, bisexual?"
"I dunno, do I? Not had the chance to try it out and see."
"As long as you don't do anything daft like wandering into some gay bar and picking someone up. Because even Pasco couldn't get you off on that charge."
"Aye." This time it was Dave's teeth that gleamed as he grinned. "Reckon I could get you off, though."
"Dave." It was meant to be a warning but Dave was suddenly right next to him, hand delving into Paddy's sleeping bag and, shit! "Dave!" That one was more of a squeak because Dave's hand was cold.
"Ah, c'mon, Paddy. It's just a handjob. Don't have to think about who it's from. You've had a minger or two in your time."
And the trouble was he was right. Too easy to just close his eyes and let Dave do what he wanted while Paddy got what his body wanted and-
Fuck it. He was a squaddie. He wasn't paid to think.