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She had this smile.
He knew no word in any of the three languages he could speak to explain it, but it was enchanting. It could excite and sooth. It could make his heart speed a million miles an hour just as easily as it could slow his beat to something that might have him considered legally dead.
It was a smile.
It was the smile.
And he’d loved it for years.
Only she didn’t know.
No one did, well except his best friend Tommy, but he had been wheel me home drunk and it hadn’t exactly been fair.
Oliver loved Felicity.
He had done for years.
The kind of love that had you dream about lazy Sunday mornings.
The kind of love that allowed you to imagine she wasn’t engaged.
That’s why she didn't know, that’s why she couldn't know.
Three years he had danced around this hopeless emotion of unrequited love. Three years of his heart skipping a beat when he saw her name on the same roster. Three years of kindly shoulder touches. Three years of failed relationships.
Three years of that enchanting smile.
The one that wasn’t his to look at, at least not with eyes like his.
Three years.
What was one more day?
Oliver sculled the rest of his club soda and lime and sucked back the bitter taste that did far more to sharpen his senses than any coffee.
He hadn’t seen Felicity in a five months, maybe six. But those days hadn’t been enough to quash the feelings he still held for her, despite his every intention that they should.
The last time they flew the same route she had been so happy, flashing that stunning smile around the crew as the ones that hadn’t been up to speed with her life admired the ring Cooper had given her a month prior and those that did know had peppered her with questions about where, when, what she was going to wear.
Ivory, lace, fitted he already knew what she would wear.
Spring her favourite season.
They hadn’t decided where, but it would be intimate and evening.
Oliver had guessed every single answer with a level of accuracy that should have him playing the lottery.
But the truth was you could just learn a lot about a person in three years when you adored watching them talk and everything that came from their mouth you committed to memory because one day you wanted to recount it and show them just how much they meant to you.
She had noticed he was quiet, she had given him a smile and told him a story about getting her butt pecked by a nasty rooster at a petting zoo when she was 9, a story he had heard a half a dozen times before but it had always made him smile.
When it didn’t make him smile in the hotel bar that stormy night in Connecticut, she had known something was wrong.
“Oliver, is everything okay?”
She had asked kindly with her hand gently resting on his shoulder.
He had unceremoniously shrugged her off when his eye caught the reflection of her diamond engagement ring.
It might as well have been a knife the way it plunged into his figurative heart.
She had looked hurt and confused, more so when he slammed his empty bourbon glass on the bar and ordered another.
But ever the optimist she had taken the seat next to him and ordered an identical drink despite her dislike of bourbon and her preference for white spirits or a civilised glass of rosé.
“Is it a girl?” she had questioned with a teasing that had plucked at the seams of his mouth.
“Ah, a smile,” she had laughed, bubbly, effused, charming, “so it is a girl.”
Felicity had never considered that she was the woman.
Her understated humility made him want her even more which darkened his mood substantially.
“Well, you’re a catch Oliver, if they can handle you.”
She winked after she spoke and Oliver had never asked her what she meant by those words.
Because her phone rung, it was Cooper.
Intruding like he could sense Oliver's thoughts.
She had grinned when she answered before offering Oliver a softly apologetic smile while she slid her half finished drink towards him.
She wasn’t going to finish it.
She was going to take the call to her room.
She was going to let him whisper things into her ear.
She was going to tell him she missed him, that she loved him.
She was probably going to slip a hand into her pants while he coaxed her on.
She was probably going to come undone around that diamond ring.
That fucking diamond ring.
He finished his drink and then hers in quick succession before he paid and left.
That was the last time they flew together. Oliver took a vacation and then made the move back to mid haul in some desperate attempt to put Felicity behind him. Not because he wanted to, but because he knew one day he would drink too much and confess his attraction. He’d probably kiss her, hold that soft face in the palm of his hands. Caress those pillowed lips. Feel her breath as it melted into his. He would kiss her selfishly and desperately, hoping that she would give into him and kiss him back.
But he knew better. Felicity wasn’t going to cheat with him. No way in hell, and she would walk away, she would have to. And he would die a little more.
But he never really did, never really could, put the idea of Felicity out of his mind.
Even when he found another tight warm body to share his bed with, he found himself wanting it to be Felicity and his reflection each time had been brutal in its disgust.
She had texted him a few times and he had always replied, never wanting to appear cruel or callous, they had been friends – at least in some capacity – for so long. But the messages never moved beyond the mundane. Sure, Oliver wrote her many a message confessing his feelings, asking if there might have been a chance for them once, but there wasn’t an answer that she could give that would give him any solace, so he deleted it every time.
That was almost six months ago.
Seeing her name on the roster for today’s flight was like seeing a beautiful ghost.
Felicity had moved to mid haul.
He considered she might married by now and there would be a second ring on that finger to torment him.
When he turned on his stool he saw her across the room. In a sea of faces he only saw hers, smiling, exactly like he remembered it.
Felicity started to walk towards him.
Maybe he could tell her.
Maybe he could ...
But Oliver turned into a coward, throwing a ten on the bar before he left.
He saw her again as the crew was boarding. It was fleeting but it might as well have been years that tumbled past them, caught in a place where they were infinitely locked.
They were at a distance but there was no mistaking when their eyes met. To Oliver it felt like a lifetime since he had seen their kindness and even longer since he had basked in the light of them. And then Felicity mouthed his name, almost like she was proving she knew it, telling him she remembered it ... and of course why wouldn't she?
But there was something about watching her lips form around his name. He couldn't hear it, but he imagined it smoky but fluid. She had always said his name so perfectly, this wouldn’t be any different.
She smiled.
His heart sunk.
Her smile wasn’t his.
Her attention was stolen when another flight attendant embraced her and Oliver, the coward he knew he was, took the moment to abscond onto the plane.
Oliver moved like clockwork, take off, pilot greeting, safety video, same-same. It was all the same, except for the thoughts he had of Felicity, happily married Felicity, with the stunning smile and the kind eyes.
Someone else’s smile and kind eyes that turned to adoration for another.
Oliver run his hand across his clammy brow as he imagined how that must look. He didn’t know that look from Felicity, but he imagined it would be beautiful.
“You alright man?” John Diggle, his captain, and an excellent one at that, asked as he gave him a scrutinizing stare.
“Yeah, fine,” Oliver shrugged off his concern and sealed it with a smile.
They would land in Hawaii in 5 hours.
He could avoid her for 5 hours.
~*~*~*~
3 hours into the Flight
John stretched as he stood from his seat and placed a unintentionally heavy slap on Oliver's shoulder, “be back in ten.”
Oliver nodded, “take your time, I’ll just be napping here while you’re gone.”
The two laughed jovially before John disappeared from the cockpit.
Oliver rolled his neck and blew out a long sigh he had been keeping in. He should talk to Felicity, they were friends to some degree once and he did feel bad about how his own issues has clouded that.
A light knock tipped his head back towards the door before shook off the last three flight hours and the thoughts of Felicity.
Oliver heard the key code on the cockpit door and glanced at the nearby clock, Susie was right on time with his indulgence of a glass of coke so cold it makes the glass drip.
He heard the clunk of the door opening and he twisted in his seat to present the chief perser with his gleaming smile that would usually get him a packet of gummy lollies too. What could he say, he was a charmer.
But it wasn’t Susie at all, and he blinked rapidly about 30 times to be sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him, because balancing two glasses on her tray while she tried to step through the deceivingly heavy door, was Felicity Megan Smoak, the girl with the beautiful smile.
He saw the tray start to wobble as the door almost bested her in weight and Oliver leapt from his seat to wrestle the door away from her and prevent a foreseeable accident.
She didn’t say anything as she kept her eyes downward while she stepped inside before Oliver let the door close with a thud behind them.
“Hi,” the word fell from her lips like a tiny gasp, even though she must have expected him.
Or was that him who gasped?
Oliver closed his mouth and swallowed before he attempted to speak.
“Hi,” the word came out strained, almost painful, he coughed and tried again, “Hi.”
“You said that already,” she laughed as she looked down and studied the tray in her hands.
“You’re not supposed to leave your seat,” she jested, her voice more retracted than he remembered it.
“Are you going to report me Felicity?” he cracked a smile which finally hooked her eyes upward.
Oliver felt his heart stretch through his chest, he had missed those luminescent eyes.
“Susie got caught cleaning sick off her uniform, she asked me to bring you guys dinner.”
Oliver wasn’t sure if the explanation was for his benefit or for hers, but either way he could listen to her talk for hours.
“It's been a while,” Oliver commented.
He saw the corners of her smile stiffen, and he hated the fact he’d troubled that beautiful smile.
“Six months.”
She didn’t say it with any malice but it sounded so brutal from her plush lips.
“You moved to mid haul,” he remarked, the air around them was taut and different.
Was it him? Did his eyes give him away? Was she mad out how he severed their friendship?
“Better money,” she whispered, threads of sadness between the words.
She was saving for a wedding after all, or paying one off... Oliver filled in her words with his own thoughts.
“Drink?”
She seemed sad, but Oliver couldn’t decide why, maybe he was projecting some of his own emotions. Maybe this was actually Felicity mad? He wasn’t sure he had a point of reference for that emotion.
“Thanks,” he replied softly.
Felicity handed him his drink and in a moment that felt like time became sentient and stood still just to give Oliver enough time to process what his eyes took in – he saw her hand, a trail of condensation from the glass leading over her index finger, her middle finger then her ring finger... her empty ring finger.
He blinked
Once,
Twice,
A third time.
She wasn’t wearing her ring.
She wasn’t wearing any ring.
Felicity noticed him staring and once the glass was safely in his grasp her hand retreated under her tray.
“We broke up,” she said when Oliver had stopped blinking.
Had he asked without realising it?
“I saw your face and thought you were wondering about it?” she continued, as if reading his every thought.
They broke up.
They broke up.
He pulled down his lips.
He couldn’t smile.
He shouldn’t smile.
“I’m sorry,” he lied, although when she sucked back a tear he actually did feel sorry.
“That’s the same thing he said,” she jested, or at least attempted to.
Oliver instinctively touched his hand to her arm and rested it at her elbow.
“Are you okay?”
He could see her fighting back tears.
“As well as any woman could be when they find their fiancé sleeping with the person who was supposed to be their maid of honour.”
She was joking to deflect the residual pain that hung in her eyes.
“Are you okay?” Oliver repeated, stooping just enough to ensure she saw the concern in his expression.
Felicity fell against his chest, her arms circling his waist like she was hanging on for life and without hesitation Oliver wrapped his large arms around her svelte frame, only now appreciating just how much smaller she was than him.
His thumb stroked down her spine and he found himself swaying with her as he breathed in the fresh aromatics of peach scented shampoo.
“I’m sorry, four months later I should be okay with it all,” she whispered with stilted words into his broad chest.
Fingers danced with the curls at the tip of her ponytail.
Four months? He could have held her like this four months ago.
He had been so stupid.
She had tried to reach out for a friend and he replied with remarks about the Packers and the weather.
“Any guy who has you and is stupid enough to hurt you and make you leave doesn’t deserve you Felicity. This is on him, he isn’t worth you.”
He meant every word of it, much more than she knew.
Felicity lifted her heels off the ground, tipping her weight onto her toes as they stretched up as high as they could in the black Mary Janes she was wearing, and she kissed him.
On his lips.
Like she was his and he was hers.
Soft at first until his hands moved to the small of her back and her fingers stroked down his cheek.
Her lips encased his bottom lip with her tongue dancing across all of the tiny creases. He hummed at her gentle touch and the years he had waited to feel it.
The tip of his tongue timidly walked across the inseam of her upper lip and she parted for him, letting his tongue float and explore her deliciously warm mouth that tasted like sweet, fresh cherries. Felicity was the most delectable variety of flavours and he wanted to taste every single one.
Until it was gone.
Felicity pulled away and he could only taste the fleeting remnants of her on his lips.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” she apologised, the deep pools of blue in her eyes wide with shock at herself.
“Don’t be sorry,” Oliver breathed, watching her eyes for only a moment until his stare moved to her almond shaped eyes “I’ve wanted to do that for years.”
John entered the cockpit and the two broke apart, putting a wall of air between them even though their eyes stayed vigilantly locked.
Oliver couldn’t read her until she blinked, then he saw it, threaded around her rich ebony pupils was fear, confusion and surprise, maybe by the kiss or, more likely, by his confession.
He thought about taking it back, but it was too late, by the time he had considered it Felicity had left and it was John staring, confused at him.
“Did I interrupt something?” John asked as he buckled himself in his seat
“No,” Oliver sighed, listless.
Maybe, yes, he didn’t know.
By the time the plane touched down in Hawaii Oliver had spent a considerable amount of time tooing and froing with himself about whether she should have sought out Felicity during the flight. Whether he should have pulled her to the side, asked her how she felt, begged her to tell him what she was thinking, what she was feeling.
He had nothing to lose, not really, but he stayed. Right there, deathly silent.
Even after they disembarked Oliver was a sea of thoughts. Tempestuous thoughts that raged from dropping to one knee and professing his love to hopping the immediate next flight to literally anywhere and changing his name.
They were both ludicrous and not all befitting a 35 year old man who, under most normal circumstances, was completely level headed.
He saw her briefly in the hotel lobby. She was in the bar with other crew nursing a fruity cocktail between her slender fingers, the same ones that he had felt drawing indelible lines down his cheek.
He considered joining her.
But he didn’t, once again he couldn’t.
Because if she asked him to take back his words, profess that they were nothing more than fleeting, tell him to say that it was never going to happen for them or that he never cared for her, Oliver couldn’t, because none of that was true.
A shower didn’t happen. Even as Oliver walked around the hotel room with a towel around his waist and a veil of glistening steam across his chest and arms, he couldn’t stop thinking about Felicity. Her succulent lips. The sweet smoky sounds that fluttered from her mouth and into his. Her body, pressed against his. The way his hand felt made for the small of her back.
He would give anything to dream of that kiss tonight.
A rapt on his hotel room door tore him away from that illusion and screaming back to reality. He walked over and opened it without pause.
“What else have you wanted to do for years?” Felicity asked him before her lips folded nervously into each other.
He blinked, three straight times, to ensure he wasn’t dreaming.
But she was there every time, still, quietly waiting for his response.
He pulled her gently into the room and like a fluid dance move, Oliver closed the door and took her lips up with his.
This kiss was different, the innocence was gone instead replaced with a hunger. Where they had once been timid, their lips were now focused and wanton.
When they finally pulled away enough to breathe, her fingers were sunk into the muscles across his back and his hands were cupping her face.
“Oliver,” she panted softly, “did you mean it?”
“I meant every word Felicity, I’ve loved you for years.”
She nibbled on her lower lip, pinking it.
“Why did you never,” she paused to blow out a confused breath as her eyes darted around his, “why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“At first,” his fingers weaved down her neck, “I thought I was buying my time, unsure how you felt and by the time I thought I could,” he swallowed his nervous breath, “I was too late.”
“And now?”
Her eyes pleaded with his. Blue on blue.
“Now I hope I’m just in time.”
Her fingers trailed down his back and around his waist, retreating from him, and for a moment Oliver worried he was still too late and there would be no smile to call his own.
Felicity pressed a tentative finger to his mouth, smoothing it across his lips which were still wet with her. He didn’t know what else to say, how else to tell her what he felt was really and deep and he could spend a lifetime searching for it and still never feel what he felt when he looked at her.
All he could do was smile.
Soft, barely noticeable.
Just the tips turned up, but the smile bled to his cheeks and rose up into his eyes.
He smiled because she made him smile.
“There it is,” she whispered, tapping the finger against his lip.
“There is what?”
“You smile when you’re telling the truth, just the corners, almost invisible unless you know to look for it. But I see it Oliver.”
Then she returned his smile with one of her own.
One he hadn’t seen before.
Her fingers folded over the hem of the simple black cotton tee she was wearing for only a moment until she raised it up her body and threw haphazardly behind her. Her chest rose under the confines of her black, lace trimmed bra.
“Felicity...” he breathed her name and it felt like heaven on his lips.
Her nails raked over the valleys and rises of his chest before they reached the knot of his towel.
“What else have you wanted to do Oliver? Tell me,” she implored as her index finger drew circles around his navel.
He swallowed doubt and reservation, “I want to kiss you again.”
Her eyes draped closed, “where?”
He traced a path down her neck and Felicity tipped her head to the side to stretch it out.
“Please do it,” she whispered, her voice travelling like a sweet spring breeze into his ear.
Oliver started at the seam of her ear and slowly kissed the threads of her neck, relishing the softness of her skin. His tongue skimmed over her pulse, pausing there to feel it quickening.
Her eyes were almost closed and her body swaying slightly in his arms. It was mesmerising, enticing.
“And what else?” she asked opening her eyes just enough for Oliver to see how radiantly blue they were, “what else have you wanted to do?”
“Touch my lips to yours, slowly, our hands exploring each other,” a hitch rose in his throat but he forced it down, he wasn’t going to leave anything unsaid tonight, “I want to make love to you Felicity.”
She gasped at his honesty.
But he didn’t blink, he didn’t regret it.
Her lips crashed onto his, full of desire and lust. It was fierce and carnal, nothing held back, nothing reserved. Their tongues fought in a twisted dance as their lips feasted on the other, moans and breaths melding into one.
She tore down the zipper of her jeans and blindly shimmied them down her legs, refusing to break the intense, heated kiss for even just a moment.
They turned and stumbled around the room, lips never leaving off lips, until she kicked her jeans free and they tumbled onto the bed.
Felicity was underneath, her hair spilled over the pillow like a golden ocean wave spilling onto the shore. Her lips were rosy and plump, slightly swollen from his. Her cheeks were pink, warmed from under her glowing complexion. Her eyes were crystals dancing with reflections of blue. She was beautiful.
“Felicity, are you sure?” he asked as he propped himself up on one elbow beside her.
His fingers rolled down her chest over the smooth ride of her stomach as he waited for her answer.
“I’m sure,” she spoke with a smile and eyes as wide as saucers, no uncertainty, “truth is, I’ve wanted that too Oliver, I just never thought...” she blushed as she blinked away.
Oliver kissed the very tip of her mouth, “what?”
Her gaze met with his, basking in the brightness of it for a few silent moments.
“That I was your type,” she finally finished.
“You’re smart, kind, gorgeous, how could you not be?”
Both tips of her mouth rose up towards her cheeks. A smile. Her smile. For him.
Oliver leaned over and kissed that smile before his lips moved down her body. A hand behind her back released the clasp of her bra and Felicity helped it down her arms before dropping in teasingly to the floor.
He sucked in one breast, massaging the other with his strong, rough hands. Felicity bit back a moan but when his tongue playfully taunted her nipple a rasped moan fluttered from her lips.
“Oh god Oliver,” she hummed, her aching body pressing hard against his.
His teeth nibbled and his tongue chased as her breast swarmed his mouth and when he clamped down a little harder on her tightly budded nipple she didn’t hold back, “Fuck, yes, fuck.”
Oliver smiled against her supple breast, he would have never imagined such words coming from her mouth and he was driven to discover what other noises she might make. His mouth dropped her breast with a soft pop before his lips created an O and he blew over the peak of her wet nipple making her hiss out a breath.
His fingers weaved down her body stopping at her mound before he nestled himself between her legs. His thumbs hooked over the band on her panties and lightly tugged up then down with Felicity rising her ass off the mattress.
One leg threaded out and Oliver left the pink satin panties to hang from her other ankle as he guided her leg over his shoulder.
His tongue dipped between her nether lips, humming as the warmth of her arousal teased his taste buds and the musk of her scent filled his senses.
He kissed her sex slowly, delighting in the sound of her moans while he enjoyed her taste. His tongue sliced through her folds as her body rose off the bed.
Her fingers coiled in his hair as his named dripped like warm honey from her mouth, chanting him deeper and harder. The heel of her foot massaged his the thick muscles surrounding his shoulder blade while he pushed her other leg flat into the mattress.
“I could do this for hours,” he mumbled against her pinkish folds.
“I won’t,” she panted, her fingers twisting tighter in the shorts of her hair, “I won’t last that long.”
Her delicious juices bled onto his lips and he smacked them noisily together to garner a softly titillating laugh to brush over her lips before his fingers joined the onslaught.
Oliver's thumb teased her entrance, skimming circles clockwise and anti in haphazard movements before he plunged up to knuckle inside of her.
Felicity had never felt anything quite like it. The pressure of his thumb hooking inside her, stroking the spot that made her cry out in pleasure while his tongue flirted with her clit, batting it gently around his mouth moments before he lightly grazed it against his teeth.
It was a symphony, framed by the mewls and cries that she didn’t hold back and he seemed to enjoy. His name felt like ice against the heat of her breath just as her core twisted and coiled like a wound up spring.
“Do you know what else I want Felicity?”
She looked at him with wild eyes as she lifted her head from the pillow.
His mouth was still buried between her legs, his words slightly muffled there but his eyes, oh god his eyes they were looking right at her, just waiting for her answer.
But she couldn’t speak, she could barely even breathe, so she just shook her head frenziedly.
“I want you to come,” he paused while he watched her brows rise, “on me,” another pause saw her eyes widen, “a lot.”
He growled the final two words and the reverberation of it against her sex sent Felicity hurtling over the edge. Her climax shook her like a rag doll, more explosive than any she had ever felt before. His tongue still toyed with her budded clit, skating the thin line between pleasure and all too much.
She felt her walls clamp in around his thumb, even as he continued to pump in and out making her juices coat and drip from it.
He drunk her in, every last bit of her as he licked the entire length of her folds to ensure he caught every drop. The fresh silk of her rich release coated his lips before he lowered her leg to the mattress and plucked the pink panties from around her ankle.
He tapped it to the glistening corners of his lips like a napkin while Felicity looked on, so completely aroused by the gesture that she could feel her body aching for more.
Oliver lifted her so her trembling knees hovered her body just above his waist. Her fingers tore at the knot in his towel like a crazed animal until it fell open and his cock sprung out between her thighs.
Her slender fingers gripped him at the base but he stilled her hand before she could move it.
“Now it’s time for you to tell me what you’ve wanted to do for years,” he spoke in a guttural rasp.
Felicity licked her lips as though she was taking her time to decide the answer.
She wrestled her hand free from his and scooped up a droplet of pre cum from his head. She brushed the same finger across her lips and hummed while she tasted his salty release.
Felicity leaned in close to his ear and blew out a soft breath before she finally spoke.
“I've always wanted you to fuck me Oliver, hard, fast, deep, twice and then I want you in the shower where I’ll suck your dick dry.”
She pulled back and smiled with an innocent one shoulder shrug.
“Was that clear enough?” she asked sweetly.
“Crystal,” Oliver grunted.
They didn't waste another second before the head of his thrumming cock was poised at her entrance. Felicity entwined her fingers at the back of his neck as her arms draped over his shoulders, before she spread her legs and dropped her waist, sinking Oliver hard and deep inside her like a battering ram.
There was no time to stretch, no time to settle, as the instant his hilt crashed against her sex, Felicity rose up again, pulling him an inch or so out. Before Oliver could catch his breath she had done in again, swallowing him inside her warm, coated walls.
His fingers splayed across her back, holding her at a slight angle down towards the bed so his head glided against her walls. He slowed her down with his other hand, just enough so that he could feel her ridges pressing into his shaft when she clenched.
Their eyes never moved off each other, staying firmly locked as they rode together. When they had mastered that rhythm Oliver released some of the tension on her hip and her bucking started to quicken.
His hand moved with her hip, quickening her still until Oliver was pumping his cock in and out of her with such speed that their bodies were slapping together in a cacophony of sounds.
Her breasts bounced before him, but no matter how much he wanted to coddle and suck and tease them he wanted his eyes to stay affixed to hers more.
For languid minutes that felt like hours they stayed like that until the familiarity of her twisted core and the tightening of his thighs made them rush into a rapid and uneven pace.
Her thighs pummelled his, his hand anchored into her spine, her teeth gnawed at her bottom lip, his breath became strangled.
Until the moment two waves crashed together in a tempest ocean and they both felt the shuddering of their fiery orgasms.
It was only then that their eyes broke apart, hers rising to the ceiling, his falling down towards where their bodies met.
“Oliver,” she whispered, her voice slightly strained.
“Hmmm?”
“We could have been doing this for years.”
He kissed the beads of sweat caught in her shoulder.
“We better make up for lost time.”
The next morning found Oliver awake before his alarm, just a few minutes, but enough to relish the sight of Felicity lying beside him, her hand splayed across his chest and his arm cuddling her close.
“Good morning,” she whispered through lips still swollen from the night before.
And the she smiled up at him.
Felicity had the most stunning smile.
And this morning it was for him.
All for him.