Work Text:
“Namjoon-ah,” Seokjin says, peeking his head into the studio.
“Come in,” Namjoon answers, turning around.
Seokjin and Hoseok step into the little room and close the door.
“Uhm…” Hoseok says, scratching the back of his neck. “We wanted to talk to you about Yoongi hyung.”
“What happened?” Namjoon answers. “Is he okay?”
“Well, that’s the thing… We’re not sure,” Hoseok says. “He seems fine. He’s just as snarky as always. He’s working a lot. But he’s kind of… not taking care of himself.”
“I’ve been bringing him food for the past couple of days,” Seokjin adds. “He eats like, half of it, and then goes right back to work.”
Namjoon looks down and sighs.
“We don’t want to intrude,” Seokjin says, “but this is not the first time that this is happening. And somehow, every time, after you spend some time with him, he snaps out of it.”
“We figured that there’s probably a reason you haven’t told us yet,” Hoseok adds. “But just so you know, we’re okay with it.”
“How did you figure it out?” Namjoon asks softly.
“Hickies that you didn’t hide well enough,” Seokjin says.
“The extra bounce in your step you both have afterward,” Hoseok adds.
Heat rises to Namjoon’s cheeks. He bites his lower lip.
“It really is okay with us. We don’t care, we’re happy with whatever makes you happy,” Seokjin places his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder.
“It’s not like what you think…” Namjoon says.
“Then what?” Hoseok asks.
“It’s not… romantic,” Namjoon looks up. “We’re not… dating, or whatever you want to call it.”
“I don’t understand,” Seokjin says.
“I don’t know exactly what it is, but every… something like a couple of months, he does this – he stops thinking about himself,” Namjoon explains. “I noticed it a long time ago. It worried me a lot but I had no idea what to do. And whenever I tried to ask him about it, he didn’t know what I was talking about. He would just tell me he’s tired. So, I let him be. And after a while, he would come back to himself. And then a little while ago…”
“What happened?” Seokjin asks softly.
“He came into my studio, wanted to show me new lyrics, and when I looked at him… he looked so tired. So I reached my hands out to hug him and he sort of swayed, like his head was spinning, and fell onto me,” Namjoon looks between Hoseok and Seokjin. Their eyes are patient. “He essentially fell into my lap. And he was blushing really hard. But I was still hugging him. I didn’t want to let him go. And then he kind of… melted? His eyes closed, he buried his face in my neck and he stayed. Right there.”
“But how did that lead to…?” Hoseok asks.
“I kissed him on the neck,” Namjoon says. He never talked about this to anyone, but now that he started, he doesn’t want to stop. “It wasn’t supposed to mean anything. I just felt affectionate. He blushed even more, tried to get off me, but I wrapped my arms around him and didn’t let him go. And then I felt… that he was getting…” – hard, Namjoon doesn’t say, just indicates it by pointing to his crotch. “I don’t know why we didn’t stop there.”
It was so sudden.
Namjoon remembers Yoongi’s cheeks flaming in shame. He remembers the way Yoongi tried to pull away from him again. He's still not sure what came over him when he pulled Yoongi back onto his lap, when he whispered the words ‘it’s okay’ over and over into Yoongi’s ear. It just seemed like the right thing to do.
Namjoon had both arms wrapped around Yoongi, one around his stomach and the other supporting his back. Yonngi’s eyes were wet, but he let Namjoon hold him, didn’t protest when Namjoon stated rocking him slowly in his lap. Yoongi wasn’t saying anything at all, but the look on his face was so open, he didn’t need to speak. And when Namjoon pressed his forearm against Yoongi’s crotch, Yoongi whimpered so brokenly, it made Namjoon’s heart sink. He kept rocking Yoongi against his forearm until Yoongi started moving on his own, whimpering and panting, his fingers twitching on Namjoon’s shoulders. Namjoon was hard and he knew Yoongi could feel it, understood that’s probably why Yoongi didn’t try to run again.
Namjoon didn’t think when he pressed his lips against Yoongi’s, and when Yoongi froze all of the sudden, Namjoon got worried. It’s only when he pulled back and looked at Yoongi’s face did he realize that the reason Yoongi froze wasn’t because of the kiss, but because he was coming. Yoongi’s eyes were shut tight, his lips parted. His fingers were digging into Namjoon’s shoulders so hard Namjoon could feel the hard prick of nails through his shirt.
He was worried Yoongi would get embarrassed and leave right after, but that didn’t happen. Yoongi opened his eyes slowly and looked at Namjoon. His facial features were all smoothed out. He looked like he just woke up from the most peaceful sleep. Namjoon cupped Yoongi’s face and kissed him, just kept their lips pressed together for a few moments, then pulled Yoongi’s head into his neck. He felt so protective of Yoongi.
He held Yoongi close like that for a while, his own length slowly going soft. Namjoon thought Yoongi had fallen asleep when he finally pulled back, looked Namjoon in the eyes again, placed a quick kiss on his lips and left. They never spoke about it.
“So, it’s not romantic,” Namjoon tells Hoseok and Seokjin. “I don’t even know if I can say that it’s physical. More like… it’s mental.”
“Mental,” Seokjin repeats, eyebrows raising.
“Yoongi hyung…” Namjoon tries explaining. “He takes care of us so much, works so hard, puts all of his heart into everything he does. What I think is that… sometimes… he just needs to let go. He needs someone to take care of him.”
“So, it’s like a submissive-dominant kind of thing then?” Seokjin asks.
“I don’t know,” Namjoon replies. “I’ve never thought of myself as dominant. And with the way Yoongi behaves, to think of him as submissive seems kind of silly. It’s just in those moments. It’s like he changes.”
“Why didn’t you tell us before?” Hoseok asks.
“I’m not sure,” Namjoon admits. “He never told me not to speak about it. But then, Yoongi and I never talked about it either, so…”
“What do you mean you’ve never talked about it?” Hoseok asks.
Namjoon shakes his head. “We never talk about it. It just happens. He never asks for it. Never says anything after. Never says thank you, never says ‘that sucked’, or ‘that was good’. Not that I need him to say anything, I can tell just fine. It never goes through into our real lives. Everything that happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, even when it comes to just the two of us.”
“But how can you have this kind of relationship without discussing it?” Seokjin asks.
“I don’t know. I wish we did talk about it, it would probably be the right thing to do,” Namjoon replies. “But I know it embarrasses him, and I’m afraid that if I made him face it head on, he wouldn’t let it happen again. And this really does help him, and I want to help him, always.”
“What embarrasses him?” Seokjin asks. “Sleeping with you?”
Namjoon feels strange about hearing it said so plainly.
“No, not sleeping with me,” he says. “I think if he had been embarrassed by that, he would have explicitly asked me not to say anything about it. It’s more that he’s embarrassed by… the way he is in those moments. Like, the whole submissive-like behavior type of thing.”
Seokjin nods.
“Are you doing it just because you want to help him?” Hoseok asks. “Because that’s not fair to you.”
Namjoon doesn’t answer.
No. He doesn’t do it just because he wants to help Yoongi. He can barely admit to himself how much he looks forward to the next time they get together like that, the next time he can get to see Yoongi like that. He doesn’t like that what makes them do it is Yoongi neglecting himself, and Yoongi not feeling his best. But he does like to be the one taking care of Yoongi when he needs it. He feels incredibly privileged to be the one Yoongi trusts enough for it, even if Yoongi never says anything about it. He feels selfish for enjoying it so much.
“We’re gonna get everyone out a little later,” Seokjin says, “so you could have some time.”
“Thanks?” Namjoon says, not sure how to feel about his friends sexiling themselves for them.
Hoseok is smiling fondly, and Namjoon doesn’t really understand why.
He bends down and places a hand on Namjoon’s cheek.
“Take care of him well for us,” Hoseok looks into Namjoon’s eyes.
Namjoon blushes, doesn’t know how to respond. Seokjin places a hand on Hoseok’s back for a moment, then the two of them leave.
He’s not sure what to do now. He’s never planned one of his ‘sessions’ with Yoongi. It was always spontaneous. He would notice Yoongi neglecting himself and go to spend some time with him. He never assumes that they’ll do anything, but they always do.
He stands up, picks up one of his notebooks and steps out of his studio. He doesn’t know when Seokjin plans to take everyone out, but he doesn’t want to wait until then to go to Yoongi. It might seem too planned, which it actually is this time, but Yoongi doesn’t have to know it. It might make him nervous.
He passes Hoseok on his way to Yoongi’s studio, and Hoseok smiles at him and gives him a thumbs up. Namjoon blushes and looks away.
When he gets to Yoongi’s studio, he pauses and takes a deep breath. He’s never been this nervous about it. But then, he never assumed that walking into Yoongi’s studio would mean sleeping with Yoongi. He probably shouldn’t assume that now either.
He knocks on the door. It opens a few moments later. Yoongi has rolled towards the door in his chair, headphones still on. He pulls one earphone aside.
“Hey,” Yoongi says.
Namjoon’s throat closes up unexpectedly.
Others wouldn’t see it on him, but Yoongi really does look tired. He’s paler than usual, his eyes open a little less than they usually are. Namjoon finds himself unable to say anything, so he just raises his notebook for Yoongi to see.
“New lyrics?” Yoongi asks.
Namjoon nods and steps into the room as Yoongi rolls away towards his desk. Namjoon grabs another chair which he pulls beside Yoongi’s. He watches Yoongi watching him. Yoongi cocks his head to the side a little, waits. Right.
“I don’t have too much new stuff,” Namjoon somehow finds his voice again, “but I did want to ask you about…”
And so they talk. Yoongi gives him a couple ideas, and Namjoon takes the opportunity to study him. There isn’t that much to see. He’s still Yoongi, just a little slower than usual. He squints his eyes a lot, thinking, instead of just spitting something out immediately like he usually does. And when they separate, Namjoon to his notebook, Yoongi to his keyboard and computers, things seem to be same as always. He’s himself, just at half mast.
Namjoon watches Yoongi when his back is turned to him.
Everything else they did after the first time was in this room. On the chairs, the little couch. Their second time together, Namjoon laid Yoongi on the couch and wrapped his fingers carefully around Yoongi’s length. He called Yoongi a “good boy” that time, didn’t even use honorifics. Namjoon didn’t get off the second time either. He remembers Yoongi trying to reach for him, but Namjoon saw how tired Yoongi was, so he just told him not to. He laid behind Yoongi, hugged him, and told Yoongi to rest. Yoongi did end up falling asleep. Just for a few minutes though.
Their third time, he could tell Yoongi felt bad about not getting him off either of their times together. So after sitting in Namjoon’s lap and kissing for what felt like forever, Yoongi slipped onto his knees in front of Namjoon. He remembers Yoongi looking up at him, his eyes wide and nervous. He cupped Yoongi’s face in his hands, whispered, “you’re so good,” then pulled down the zipper on his own jeans and took his cock out. “Kiss it,” Namjoon whispered, and Yoongi blushed so prettily. He’s good with his tongue. Namjoon assumed that. But what he didn’t assume was how much Yoongi would enjoy all of it. After, when Yoongi was writhing on the couch as Namjoon was sucking him off, hands covering his mouth to stop the noises, Namjoon got hard again, but that was the last thing he cared about.
The fourth time, he tried asking Yoongi what he wanted. But Yoongi just shook his head, not knowing what to say. Namjoon stripped him off completely that time, took his time looking at Yoongi’s body. It wasn’t the first time he’s seen him, but it was the first time he’s looked at him. When Yoongi opened his mouth to protest the relentless staring, Namjoon told him, “put your hands behind your back.” No, he didn’t tell Yoongi not to speak, but the request silenced him anyway. That time, he bent Yoongi over the couch and rimmed him, and Yoongi continued holding his hands behind his back obediently throughout the whole thing. Namjoon has never rimmed anyone before, and he was nervous about it. But he’s been thinking about trying it ever since their previous time together, and getting to kiss the tears off Yoongi’s dazed eyes afterward was worth every moment. He came with Yoongi weakly jerking him off.
Their fifth time was also their last. He fingered Yoongi that time. He was planning on doing just one finger and going really slowly because he didn’t have lube. But when he touched Yoongi between his legs, applying just enough pressure to his hole to imply what he wanted to do, Yoongi asked him to wait, stop. Namjoon seriously freaked out. He was so worried he’d crossed a line. But then Yoongi opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a little bottle of lube, and a weight lifted off Namjoon’s chest. Yoongi handed him the lube with red cheeks and without looking at him. He ended up fucking Yoongi with three fingers. Then he straddled Yoongi’s chest, and Yoongi opened his mouth so Namjoon could slide his cock into it.
A knock on the door has Yoongi turning away from his keyboard, and Namjoon turning away from Yoongi. Yoongi rolls towards the door and opens it. Seokjin is standing there.
“We’re going out to eat at that place Jimin likes,” Seokjin says, sneaking a glance towards Namjoon. The place he’s talking about is a good twenty minutes away by car. “You coming with?”
Namjoon sees Yoongi contemplating, but ultimately, he’s the one who answers.
“No, we’ll stay here,” Namjoon says. “I’ll order something for the two of us later.”
“Is everyone going?” Yoongi asks.
“Yes,” Seokjin says.
Yoongi turns to Namjoon, and he knows. Namjoon can see it in Yoongi’s eyes. He understands.
“Okay,” Seokjin says when no one speaks again. “Please don’t forget to eat. We’ll be back soon.”
Yoongi turns around and watches Seokjin leave, then closes the door behind him. He looks at the door for a few moments rather than turning back to Namjoon. It makes Namjoon nervous.
When Yoongi finally turns around, his face is blank.
“Why don’t you want to go?” he asks.
Namjoon stands up and walks towards Yoongi.
“Are you hungry?” he asks.
Yoongi doesn’t answer for a few moments, then shakes his head.
“When was the last time you ate?” Namjoon asks.
“This morning,” Yoongi answers.
“What did you eat?” He asks.
There’s silence for a few more moments, then Yoongi looks at the floor.
“Coffee,” he says. “A piece of bread with some jam.”
“So, you should be hungry,” Namjoon comments, stepping closer to Yoongi.
Yoongi doesn’t respond. He just glances up at Namjoon through his eyelashes.
Namjoon places his hand on Yoongi’s neck, runs his thumb over Yoongi’s cheekbone. Yoongi lifts his head, eyes wide. He looks innocent when he does that. His eyes are always wide like that in the beginning. Namjoon doesn’t understand why. He can’t really be surprised every time they’re about to do something, can he?
The front door slamming shut takes them out of the moment.
Namjoon drops his hand.
“Come on,” he says.
He opens the door and walks out of the studio. He knows Yoongi will follow him without being told to do so. Still, the sound of Yoongi’s feet behind him is comforting.
He leads them into the kitchen.
“Take an apple out of the fridge and wash it, please,” he tells Yoongi while picking up an orange off the counter.
Yoongi doesn’t move for a few seconds, seemingly confused. He probably thought they were going to get at it right away, but Namjoon has something else he prefers to do right now.
He peels the orange while Yoongi washes the apple and cuts it into quarters as per Namjoon’s instructs. Then Namjoon cuts the apple segments into smaller pieces.
Yoongi watches him the whole time. He’s nervous. Namjoon can tell. He wants Yoongi to eat something right now. Mostly though, after having it blatantly said to his face, he wants them to speak about things.
Namjoon goes to sit on the couch in the living room and Yoongi follows suit. Their sides are just barely touching. The plate with the cut-up fruit is set on the coffee table in front of them.
When Namjoon asks him to eat, Yoongi picks up a piece of apple and does as he’s told. Namjoon eats an orange segment and watches Yoongi in silence. He expects it when Yoongi stops eating after that first bite. It still bothers him though.
Yoongi is not looking at him, his hands are clasped together on his thighs.
“Come here,” Namjoon says, tapping himself on the thigh. Yoongi doesn’t move. He looks at Namjoon with hesitant eyes. Namjoon tries to reassure him by placing a hand on his shoulder.
Eventually, Yoongi does listen. He gets up onto his knees and straddles Namjoon’s thighs.
Namjoon has this feeling in his stomach, like he’s pushing Yoongi too far. Yoongi’s not usually so reluctant.
So, he cups Yoongi’s cheek and kisses his lips.
They kiss for just a moment, but the effect is immediate. Yoongi’s body loosens, his breath washes over Namjoon’s face as he sighs. Namjoon wraps an arm around Yoongi, rubs circles into the small of his back.
Yoongi’s eyes are closed when they separate and he’s breathing softly through his mouth.
Namjoon reaches for the plate of fruit and picks up a piece of orange.
“Hyung,” he whispers, watches as Yoongi’s eyes flutter open. He holds the orange in front of Yoongi’s lips. Yoongi’s cheeks flush pink, but his lips part anyway, and he chews softly when Namjoon places the orange in his mouth.
And so Namjoon feeds him like that, piece after piece. They’ve never done this before. Namjoon has never treated Yoongi this way outside of sex, and he’s kind of amazed at how he can feel Yoongi getting hard on top of him. It’s not much, not yet, but it is an indication that Yoongi is getting calmer, letting his walls down. Namjoon doesn’t feed Yoongi everything on the plate, understands that Yoongi is only eating because he’s the one feeding him, not because he actually wants to eat.
Looking into Yoongi’s eyes, Namjoon thinks that this is his opportunity to ask, to probe, get some answers that will help him understand what’s going on in Yoongi’s head. But when Yoongi’s eyebrows crease and he lets out a shaky breath, all thoughts of questions disappear.
Namjoon wraps both arms around Yoongi, pulls him as close as he can. His heart is racing with sudden worry.
“I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispers. “I can’t.”
“That’s okay,” Namjoon whispers back hurriedly. “We don’t have to.”
“No, no, it’s not that. I do- I do want to, I just-” Yoongi looks up at Namjoon, shakes his head. “I’m not like this. I’ve never been like this.”
“Like what?” Namjoon asks.
“Like this,” Yoongi says, pushing out of the hug, moving his hands around as if to point at the whole scene. “Like… I don’t know.”
“It’s okay,” Namjoon tries.
“Is it?” Yoongi shoots back. “I’ve never felt like I needed this – to be treated like this. By anyone. Ever. This –“ he exhales harshly. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” Namjoon says sternly.
“But I do,” Yoongi whispers. “This is my shit to deal with, I shouldn’t be forcing you into it.”
Yoongi pushes away, tries to get off Namjoon. Namjoon grabs ahold of his hips and doesn’t let him.
“Look at me,” he says. Yoongi doesn’t struggle, looks at the top of Namjoon’s head. “You are not forcing me into anything.”
Yoongi shakes his head.
“I am doing this with you because I want to,” Namjoon says. And that’s it. It’s out there.
Yoongi doesn’t seem to believe at first, but after he looks at Namjoon’s face for a few moments, his expression softens. “It’s like, when we’re together, I feel… like you do want to be there,” he says, “but then, afterward, I sort of feel like- like you do it out of pity.”
“I don’t,” Namjoon cups Yoongi’s cheek. Yoongi looks at him in anticipation, but after a few moments of silence, he averts his eyes.
Namjoon’s afraid to say any more than that. Afraid to tell Yoongi just how much he cares, how much he wants to be there. Doesn’t want to make it sound as if he’s only doing it for Yoongi and getting nothing out of it himself. Doesn’t want to make it sound like he’s getting too much out of it. He’s afraid to scare Yoongi away.
But Yoongi doesn’t look at him again. Namjoon lets him push off this time. He doesn’t go far, just gets off Namjoon’s lap and sits beside him, looks down at his clasped hands.
It feels like some kind of ending, and Namjoon knows it’s his fault. He got what he wanted, had Yoongi open up to him, bare his heart. But now, he doesn’t know what to do with it.
He watches as Yoongi takes a deep breath, straightens his back, grabs onto the couch and stands up.
“Wait,” Namjoon says, taking hold of Yoongi’s wrist. Yoongi stops but doesn’t turn around. Namjoon stands up, walks around so that he’s facing Yoongi, wrist still in his hand.
Yoongi looks up at him, and it seems like he’s still hopeful.
“I’ve never pitied you,” Namjoon says. “Even in your worst moments, you found the strength to take care of me. I look up to you,” he pauses to gather his courage, takes Yoongi’s other hand in his. “And then we started doing this, and- and I was so mad at myself for how much I liked it. For liking it even though I knew that we were only doing it because you weren’t feeling your best. It feels wrong to like it as much as I do, to enjoy having our roles reversed. Me taking care of you.”
“Is that what you’re doing?” Yoongi asks. “Taking care of me?”
“It feels like it,” Namjoon replies.
“You make it sound simple,” Yoongi says.
“It doesn’t have to be complicated,” Namjoon replies, laces his fingers with Yoongi’s.
“But why do I need this?” Yoongi asks, fingers squeezing Namjoon’s. “To be taken care of? I can take care of myself.”
“I know you can, you always have. I’m sure you can do it now too. But you don’t have to anymore,” Namjoon answers. “You can let me take care of you.”
Namjoon raises Yoongi’s and his intertwined hands to his lips and kisses the back of Yoongi’s hand. Yoongi looks like he really wants to say something, but all he ends up doing is breathing in and out shakily.
“All you have to do is say yes,” Namjoon says, “and talk to me sometimes.”
Namjoon lets go of Yoongi’s hands, tries not to influence his decision. But he’s hoping, really hoping, can't help but hope.
It’s excruciating to watch him. Yoongi rubs the back of his own hand, then drags it up and holds onto his bicep. He looks at the floor and doesn’t say anything at all.
After a minute or so passes, Namjoon wants to speak, to say something, anything that’ll break the silence. He’s just about to open his mouth when Yoongi looks up, swallows and nods.
“Yes,” Yoongi says, still nodding. “Yes, okay.”
Namjoon sighs heavily and Yoongi’s lips stretch into a small smile. He rubs his own bicep nervously.
Namjoon holds his hand out and Yoongi takes it. He holds it gently and allows himself to be pulled towards Namjoon and Taehyung’s bedroom. Namjoon closes the door after them when they step in.
He turns to Yoongi and a smile breaks across his face when he sees that Yoongi is smiling shyly. Namjoon can’t remember Yoongi ever smiling when they did this before.
He steps close to Yoongi, gently cups his face and kisses him. They both smile into the kiss.
Namjoon unzips Yoongi’s hoodie and takes it off him, makes sure to drag his hands over Yoongi’s arms. He drops it beside them, then takes off his own jacket. His palms wrap around Yoongi’s neck. He deepens the kiss just a little, just to hear Yoongi grunt against his lips, then drags his hands firmly down Yoongi’s back. He slides his hands over Yoongi’s ass and bends down to get to his thighs.
“Up,” Namjoon whispers. When Namjoon pulls him up, Yoongi jumps, wraps his legs around Namjoon’s waist.
He walks them back, presses Yoongi up against the wall, drags his lips over Yoongi’s neck. He kisses Yoongi’s neck gently, basks in his little whimpers. When Namjoon feels Yoongi hard against his stomach, he smiles.
“Hard already?” he asks, and Yoongi just makes a frustrated, embarrassed little noise. “Good boy,” Namjoon whispers into his ear, and Yoongi whimpers.
Namjoon bounces Yoongi once to grab him harder, helps Yoongi roll his hips forward. Yoongi wraps his arms tightly around Namjoon’s neck, throws his head back, and grinds.
It’s not too difficult for Namjoon to reach one hand between them and pull down Yoongi’s sweats and underwear, just enough to take out his cock. He wraps his fingers around Yoongi’s shaft lightly, amazed at how wet the tip already is. Yoongi’s breaths are shaky, lips parted, eyebrows creased. He looks desperate, like he’s close already.
Namjoon is filled with the strangest sense of pride at having Yoongi like this. Yoongi’s never been so close so fast.
Namjoon drags his fist up Yoongi’s cock, watches the droplet of precum forming at the tip. He touches it delicately and looks up to find Yoongi watching him. He brings his finger to Yoongi’s lips, and Yoongi doesn’t have to be told to open his mouth. His tongue darts out to lick the tip of Namjoon’s finger a couple times.
He kisses Yoongi after that, chases the taste. His hand strokes Yoongi’s length slowly while their tongues push against each other. It’s good, and he could keep going like this until they both got off, but it’d be too fast, and there are other things he wants to do to Yoongi.
Namjoon places both hands under Yoongi’s thighs and pushes away from the wall. He gently lays Yoongi down on the bed, waits for Yoongi to scoot back until his head is on Namjoon’s pillow. Namjoon slides Yoongi’s legs apart and leans over him.
It feels good to have so much space for them to move after constantly being stuck on the little couch in Yoongi’s studio. Namjoon revels in how far he can push apart Yoongi’s legs, how easily he can grind his clothed cock against Yoongi’s bare one.
He runs his fingers through Yoongi’s hair, pushes it away from his forehead. Yoongi looks a little dazed.
“So pretty,” Namjoon says. Yoongi blushes and bites his lower lip. “I want to be inside you, Yoongi,” he whispers, watching Yoongi exhale roughly. “Can I do that?”
Yoongi nods quickly, doesn’t even take time to think about it.
“You’re even prettier when you’re desperate, you know that?” Namjoon says.
It’s not even meant as a question but Yoongi shakes his head anyway.
“Well, you are,” Namjoon says. He kisses Yoongi’s forehead. “Absolutely gorgeous.”
The blush that spreads over Yoongi’s cheeks makes him even prettier.
Namjoon places another kiss on Yoongi’s lips before pushing Yoongi’s legs back to his chest, pulling them together and taking his sweats and underwear off.
The first time he pushed Yoongi’s legs apart this way, Yoongi blushed all over and tried to close them back up. Now, Yoongi just clutches at the sheets while Namjoon looks at him. His knuckles go white when Namjoon gently runs his thumb over the vein on his cock.
Namjoon drags his hands up the insides of Yoongi’s little thighs, then back down. He bypasses Yoongi’s cock as his hands slip under Yoongi’s shirt, pushing it up. Yoongi raises his hands and lets Namjoon undress him, lays there completely naked while Namjoon is still fully clothed.
Namjoon doesn’t bother undressing himself just yet, suspects he may be getting off on having this power. He does kiss Yoongi though, everywhere he can. He kisses his collarbones, his nipples, his stomach, the very tip of his cock. Just once. Just because he can. When he feels Yoongi’s delicate fingers run through his hair, he looks up. Yoongi’s not looking at him. His forearm is thrown over his eyes, flushed chest rising and falling deeply.
Yoongi doesn’t even notice when Namjoon stops kissing him and reaches for the drawer beside the bed. He takes out the lube and a condom, both of which he places beside himself. Then, he gently removes Yoongi’s arm from where it’s covering his eyes.
“How are you?” Namjoon whispers.
“Huh?” Yoongi opens his eyes.
“Are you still with me?” Namjoon asks him, searching his eyes.
Yoongi swallows, nods.
“Good,” Namjoon touches his nose to Yoongi’s. “You’re so good.”
He swallows Yoongi’s moan with a kiss.
Namjoon reaches for the button on his jeans, and takes out his cock, can’t take the confinement anymore. Blindly, he finds the bottle of lube and flicks it open with one hand, his lips still working against Yoongi’s.
Yoongi pulls back to breathe, and Namjoon takes the opportunity to push away a little and squeeze some of the lube onto his fingers. He rubs them together, makes sure the lube is not cold. Yoongi inhales deeply when Namjoon’s finger touches his entrance, then exhales when it pushes inside.
It’s an easy slide. Yoongi’s body is so calm that there is no resistance. When their lips meet, Namjoon pushes a second finger alongside the first. Yoongi moans softly and wraps his palms around Namjoon’s neck, and when Namjoon’s fingers curl just right, Yoongi’s voice breaks and his eyes shut tight.
“Open them,” Namjoon whispers. “I want to see your beautiful eyes.”
Yoongi listens, his eyes opening and searching Namjoon’s.
“How do you feel?” Namjoon asks him, curling his fingers deep inside Yoongi, dragging them over his prostate over and over. “Tell me.”
He expects Yoongi to say ‘good’, or not to say anything at all.
So, when Yoongi chokes out the word “happy”, Namjoon’s throat closes up.
His lips meet Yoongi’s with more force than he intends, but Yoongi just moans against them. He takes in the third finger just as beautifully as the first two.
Their kiss loses its rhythm when Yoongi starts to pant faster, moans slipping out of him with every exhale. He clenches tightly around Namjoon’s fingers and his lips fall open.
“Namjoon-ah,” his voice breaks.
“Go on, Yoongi, come for me.”
And he does. He gasps, his fingers dig into Namjoon’s neck. Namjoon slows down, kisses Yoongi’s forehead, repeats the words ‘good’, and ‘beautiful’ until Yoongi stops shaking.
Yoongi’s body slumps and Namjoon pulls his fingers out. He starts moving away from Yoongi when Yoongi grabs his bicep.
“Where are you going?” Yoongi asks quietly.
“To get something to clean you up with,” Namjoon answers.
“But you didn’t…” Yoongi whispers, looks at Namjoon’s hard cock hanging heavily between them.
“That’s fine,” Namjoon says, smiles. “Next time.”
“No, I want-" Yoongi starts. “Please.”
Namjoon hides his surprise at having Yoongi ask him for something, but he suspects Yoongi still feels it in the desperation of their kiss. He doesn’t ask Yoongi if he’s sure, doesn’t need to. When Yoongi tugs lightly at the hem of Namjoon’s shirt, Namjoon pulls back and takes it off, then presses up against Yoongi, skin on skin.
He contemplates taking his jeans off too but decides that getting off Yoongi for even a moment is not worth it. He simply reaches for the condom, rips the packet, and rolls it over himself.
Yoongi’s still soft when Namjoon begins to push into him and he whimpers loudly when the tip of Namjoon’s cock slips inside. He wraps his forearms around Namjoon’s neck and pulls him closer, silently asks to be kissed.
Namjoon braces his forearms near Yoongi’s head, kisses him and keep pushing. He goes as slowly as he can, lets Yoongi get used to the feeling of being filled so deeply. Namjoon gasps once he's all the way inside. He realizes that he wasn’t even breathing.
He uses his right hand to grip Yoongi’s thigh, pushes it closer to Yoongi’s chest, knows he’s testing the limit of Yoongi’s flexibility. But Yoongi doesn’t protest, doesn’t stop kissing Namjoon for even a second.
Namjoon is pressed so close to Yoongi that he can feel the moment Yoongi’s cock starts filling up again. He thrusts into Yoongi slowly and deeply, pushes in as far as he can go. Yoongi grunts every time, like the noise is being punched out of him. Namjoon doesn’t think Yoongi even realizes that he’s dragging his nails down Namjoon’s back.
He moves Yoongi’s thigh so that it’s pressing to his side, and Yoongi understands, wraps both of his legs around Namjoon’s torso. It brings them even closer together. Yoongi’s eyes are watering, his voice is hoarse, and his cock is rock hard again. Namjoon can feel it every time his hips snap against Yoongi’s body.
Namjoon uses one of his hands to wipe the tears from Yoongi’s cheek, says: “you are so good for me, so good, so tight, take me so well.” He keeps going, continues to praise Yoongi in any way he can.
When Namjoon comes, Yoongi cries out and comes too. Namjoon keeps thrusting into him, more and more, until Yoongi is whimpering with oversensitivity and Namjoon’s cock beings to go soft.
They pant in each other’s arms. Namjoon stays where he is, moves a strand of hair away from Yoongi’s eyes.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Yeah,” Yoongi’s voice is gravelly. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Namjoon asks, kisses Yoongi’s temple.
“Everything,” Yoongi sighs.
Namjoon doesn’t ask him to clarify what he means. His heart is too busy being full and happy.
He pulls out of Yoongi carefully, whispers, “I’ll be right back,” and gets out of the bed.
Before leaving the room he turns back, catches Yoongi looking at the ceiling and smiling to himself.
He runs to the bathroom as quickly as he can.
After tying the condom and throwing it away, Namjoon looks at himself in the mirror. He looks just for a moment while buttoning up his jeans, smiling to himself when he sees the burning red scratches on his back. He wets a towel and makes a quick trip to the kitchen to grab Yoongi some water, then comes back to the room.
Yoongi has scooted up the bed, his back is pressed against the headboard. Namjoon makes a quick turn to show him his back. Yoongi gasps, looks like he’s ready to apologize, but when Namjoon smiles, Yoongi just looks confused.
“I didn’t realize I did that,” Yoongi says when Namjoon gets onto the bed. Namjoon hands him the water and Yoongi takes a sip.
“I did,” Namjoon says, wiping Yoongi’s stomach.
“Why didn’t you stop me?” Yoongi asks. He spreads his legs when Namjoon nudges him, lets Namjoon wipe between them.
“Didn’t want to,” Namjoon answers simply.
He drags the towel over Yoongi’s forehead, his cheeks, his neck, then places it on the nightstand. Yoongi hands Namjoon the glass, and Namjoon places it beside the towel. Namjoon sits back against the headboard and pulls Yoongi closer.
After Namjoon pulls the covers over their legs, Yoongi lays his head on Namjoon’s shoulder.
The quiet lasts only a few moments.
“Hyung,” Namjoon whispers.
“Yeah?” Yoongi turns to look at him.
“I love you, you know that, right?” Namjoon says.
Yoongi nods, a smile tugging at his lips. “I love you too,” he says.
Namjoon raises his hand to Yoongi’s cheek and pulls him into a kiss.
After a while, Yoongi drifts off to sleep, head perched on Namjoon’s chest. Namjoon picks up his phone off the nightstand and orders a pizza for the two of them for later. He has a feeling Yoongi will be hungry. Namjoon doesn’t bother going to sleep himself. He holds Yoongi close and kisses his temple, smiling.