Work Text:
The comeback schedule had everyone a little tired, Taeyong more than most. As the leader and the only member of NCT to be promoting two songs at once, he had a lot on his plate. Usually he could rely on Doyoung to help him out with the responsibilities a little bit, like taking care of the kids or fixing a meal when they were supposed to have NCT dinners. The key word to that statement was usually.
Ever since Doyoung and Ten hooked up, thanks to Yuta and Taeyong’s plans backfiring, Doyoung wasn’t very much help at all. Even though he had more free time since he was no longer an MC, Doyoung invested all of that extra time in hiding away with Ten. Any time Taeyong wanted to run over the choreo or just do a quick practice of Baby Don’t Stop (“Just one last time, Ten, please? I think we need to work on that move a bit more. It needs to be smoother.”), Doyoung and Ten were curled together, as close as they’d been when they were handcuffed together.
It was all very annoying.
And then there was the matter of Jaehyun.
Jaehyun who liked to think that he was oh-so-cute. Jaehyun who was busy during the days with the comeback and busy in the nights due to NCT’s Night Night. Jaehyun who tried to aegyo his way out of any situation, including showing up in the early hours of the morning at the dorm the morning of a performance, clearly still working off the effects of alcohol.
“Taeyong hyung!” He said in a faux-whisper, pressing the door closed behind him. “I didn’t think anyone would be awake still.”
Taeyong, who was in fact brewing up a pot of coffee, running off fumes after spending hours chatting with Jungwoo about some issues he was having and then spending a few hours perfecting a track for the soon-to-be-released album, well, Taeyong wasn’t having any of Jaehyun’s shit.
“Where were you?” He folded his arms over his chest. “And why are you drunk?”
Jaehyun toed his shoes off and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not drunk. I had a few drinks with some friends. We lost track of time, and when I realized the time I—“
“You realize we have a schedule today, Jaehyun?”
“Hyung,” Jaehyun smiled, his cheeks going all squishy in the way that normally made Taeyong want to pinch them. This time, there was none of that, not that Jaehyun seemed to notice. He walked toward Taeyong, and when he was only a few feet away, he repeated: “Hyung.” And then, totally unashamed, he threw up two finger hearts and winked. “I love you, hyung.”
Taeyong pinched the bridge of his nose and stared down at his feet.
“Jaehyun, go take a shower. We have to be up and ready to leave in two hours. Hopefully you’ll be more sober then.” He didn’t look up even as he heard Jaehyun retreating across the dorm. He wished he could take his own advice: shower, maybe catch a few quick minutes of sleep, be ready in two hours like everyone else would be. But Taeyong knew that he wouldn’t be able to relax enough to sleep.
Even as he stood there, supporting himself against the countertop, Taeyong had visions of choreography running through his mind. His muscles ached to follow the moves. If he closed his eyes, there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t just begin dancing to Boss or Baby Don’t Stop.
He poured some coffee for himself, and he sat down at the table. The day ahead of him was long, but he was the leader, and he could lead his members no matter how tired he was.
Hours later, the eight of them (Ten curled up in a dressing room armchair with Doyoung) were getting ready for their stages. What little energy Taeyong had drawn from the cups of coffee he’d been throwing back like caffeine shots throughout the day so far was at last dying away, leaving him feeling even more drained than before. With two performances left in the day, he knew that he probably needed to get just a few minutes of sleep if not more.
He’d just settled down on the sofa, head tilted back, eyes closed and sleep was beginning to drift in and soften the edges of sense and sound around him.
A body flung itself onto him, warm and heavy, briefly knocking the air out of his lungs. Taeyong’s eyes snapped open, jolted out of the shallows of sleep. Jaehyun stretched along the length of the sofa, his middle positioned over Taeyong’s lap as if that wasn’t a highly uncomfortable way to lay.
Taeyong prodded Jaehyun’s shoulder. “Get up, Jaehyun.”
No response.
Still peeved by Jaehyun’s behavior that morning, and not feeling even slightly bad about the fact that Jaehyun definitely had a hangover right now, Taeyong shoved at his shoulder and said, “Jaehyun, fuck off somewhere else.”
A soft noise like a giggle had Taeyong looking up across the room.
Ten leaned against Doyoung’s arm, whispering in his ear, his eyes on Taeyong. Doyoung nodded and smiled, his hand playing with the tear in Ten’s jeans. Something about them aggravated him, and Taeyong tried to move his legs out from under Jaehyun, but it was useless. Again, he told him (in what was possibly an impolite manner) to remove himself from Taeyong’s lap. Jaehyun didn’t budge.
Taeyong muttered curses under his breath and gave Jaehyun one final shove, putting all his energy and frustration into it.
Jaehyun hit the ground with a loud thump, and rolled onto his back.
“Ouch! What was that for?” Jaehyun rubbed at his shoulder and struggled to sit up, glaring all the while at Taeyong. “Hyung? If you wanted me to move you could have just asked nicely.”
“I did ask you. Several times.” Taeyong spoke through gritted teeth. His gaze wandered back over to Ten and Doyoung, to Mark and Lucas coming through the doorway. All four looked shocked, but there was something strange that danced across Doyoung’s face, and he leaned in to whisper to Ten again.
Jaehyun’s hand wrapped around Taeyong’s ankle, and he tugged. Taeyong slid down on the couch, but didn’t slip entirely off. He shoved his foot at Jaehyun.
“I said you should have asked nicely. Telling me to ‘fuck off’ isn’t exactly the way to get me to move.” Jaehyun pushed to his feet.
There were times when Taeyong forgot that Jaehyun was taller than him, generally bigger than him in most departments. When Jaehyun stood in front of Taeyong at his full height, arms visible through the thin, tight sleeves of his shirt, Taeyong bit his tongue and looked away. He didn’t like to be reminded.
“Just go sit somewhere else, Jaehyun.”
“Hyung, come sit with us,” Mark offered from where he still stood frozen in the doorway, he pointed at the hair and makeup chairs.
For a moment longer, Taeyong felt Jaehyun’s gaze sticking to the side of his face, unwavering.
“Jaehyunnie.” Doyoung’s voice was low, solid. A warning.
Jaehyun turned on his heel and walked over to join Mark and Lucas.
“Nobody wake me up until it’s our time to go.” Taeyong snapped. He threw himself sideways on the sofa, stretching out so that no one else would be able to lay there, and he closed his eyes, and let sleep soak over him.
- - -
Another day, another weight of stress added to Taeyong’s shoulders.
He was cooking dinner, mulling over ways of tricking Doyoung into doing the job for him, when Jaehyun entered the kitchen, tugging on Johnny’s sleeve.
The difficult thing about planning dinner for eighteen young men wasn’t getting them all together in one place, but rather finding something that they would all enjoy eating. Taeyong had to take into consideration allergies, diets, and general dislikes. He had to make sure there would be enough for everyone because some people got extremely whiny when they hadn’t had enough to eat, but he wouldn’t name names (Jaehyun, Jungwoo, Haechan). He’d been planning this particular dinner for days, asking around to make sure everyone would be available, to see if the meal would fit everyone’s tastes and needs. He felt like he was a chef at a professional restaurant.
After putting so much thought and effort into it, it was almost surprising that it took one moment to bring it all crashing down around his ears.
Johnny shook Jaehyun off, and he ducked into the refrigerator to pull out a drink before he disappeared back to the living room. Several of the members were gathered there, doing nothing other than occasionally complimenting Taeyong on how good the food smelled. He couldn’t help but notice that none of them came to help.
Jaehyun appeared at his side, leaning in to smell what was cooking in the pan. He tucked his chin over Taeyong’s shoulder, reached around to pull the stirring utensil out of Taeyong hand. For one hopeful moment, Taeyong thought Jaehyun was going to help him. All the negative thoughts and feelings he’d directed toward the younger man in the past week were fading away, bright light shining through because he was going to help.
Jaehyun lifted the utensil to his lips, tasted it briefly, and then, with a grimace, dropped it back into the pan.
“Hyung, what is that?”
All the negative memories flooded back in. The bright hope of assistance shut off just as fast. Taeyong shoved Jaehyun away with his hips, but Jaehyun stepped forward again, grabbing onto Taeyong’s hips and standing directly behind him.
“It’s sauce, Jaehyun. For dinner. Why? What do you think is wrong with it?” Taeyong tasted it then himself, and it tasted perfectly fine to him.
Jaehyun shrugged. “It just tastes off.”
Again, Taeyong wiggled, trying to get Jaehyun to back off. When he managed to land an elbow into Jaehyun’s stomach, the other man slid away.
Taeyong finished preparing the meal exactly as he was planning to. He thought it all tasted nice, it looked nice. He finally called everyone to come eat, feeling exactly like he was a mother of seventeen children as half of them came rushing into the room, the other straggling out of bedrooms, and Jaemin and Renjun were running late on their way back from practice.
Eventually, everyone was there in the dorm with a plate of food. The seating arrangement was a bit awful, but it was unavoidable with eighteen people and only a regular sized table. Some sat around the table, others were perched on the counter top. Taeil had somehow coerced Winwin into sitting on his lap to eat, and Yuta beside them kept trying to tease Winwin over to sit with him by offering him bites from his plate.
For a few minutes everything was great.
Taeyong felt the stress easing out of him as he ate, listening to his members eating happily, chattering and laughing.
“Does anyone else think that the sauce tastes weird?”
Taeyong slowly looked up from his plate to find Jaehyun sitting on the counter top a few feet away, his bowl held in his lap, chopsticks halfway between his mouth and the dish.
“Really?” Taeyong asked.
“What? I told you earlier that it tasted strange. It still tastes weird. Don’t you think so, Winwin?”
Winwin, who had a mouth full of food due to both of his over-eager hyungs, didn’t answer, and appeared to not enjoy the attention suddenly being paid to him by a glaring Taeyong.
Taeyong turned back to Jaehyun. “Why do you have to be like this?”
“I’m just telling you that the sauce tastes bad! If anyone else but me was telling you this, you’d listen to them, and you would fix it.” Jaehyun dropped his chopsticks into the bowl, and he sat it aside. “Clearly you’ve got issues with me, man. Over the past week you’ve been mean, Taeyong hyung. Excuse me for trying to be nice to you.”
But he wasn’t being nice! Taeyong wanted to growl at him, but he wasn’t an animal; he was just sleep-deprived and that didn’t mean he was allowed to act uncivilized. Even though Jaehyun was staring him down and trying to drag other members to his side of the argument, riling everyone up. Or maybe, he was just riling up Taeyong, knowing perfectly how to press all of his buttons, step on his nerves.
Doyoung stood and left the table. The other members sat perfectly still around the room, unsure if they should try to diffuse the situation, get up and leave, or just continue eating as if nothing was happening.
““He’s the one that keeps trying to start shit with me!” Taeyong hissed, glancing around the room. No one wanted to meet his eyes. “I’m not being mean to him; he’s just being difficult.”
Jaehyun scoffed.
Taeyong pushed back from the table, and he’d just taken a single step toward him when at last, everything came crashing down.
Doyoung cleared his throat as he strode back into the room. All eyes turned to him.
He spun something around his fingers, a silver blur that slowly resolved into—
“No.” Taeyong took a step back. “I will not let you handcuff me to him. Doyoung, I’m older than you; I’m the leader of NCT. You have to listen to me.”
Doyoung shook his head.
Kun, the traitor as he was to be henceforth known, grabbed Taeyong’s wrist to keep him from moving farther away. He held it out to Doyoung, and Doyoung snapped one silver cuff around Taeyong’s wrist. Jaehyun didn’t even seem to struggle as Doyoung fit the other cuff into place on his wrist.
“There. Now, you know the rules right? We won’t let you out of those cuffs until you’re on good terms again. No amount of begging. No matter what problems arise.” Doyoung nodded with a devious smile. Taeyong had never hated him more.
Taeyong pulled at the chain. “Doyoung-ah. Come on. You can’t do this.”
Ten, from across the room, spoke up. “You know what they say, hyung. What goes around comes around.” He was smirking.
“But I wasn’t the one that cuffed you two together! That was Yuta!”
Yuta suddenly was finished eating, and he pushed back from the table to hurry from the room before anyone could decide to cuff him to anyone.
Taeyong turned to Jaehyun then. “Why aren’t you arguing about this?”
Jaehyun shrugged. “It worked for them. Maybe it will work for us too.”
Taeyong didn’t want this though. He really didn’t think being handcuffed would work in this situation. Doyoung and Ten had fucked their frustration away. He didn’t want to do that with Jaehyun.
“I think you two should do the dishes tonight too. It’ll give you some time to get to know how to move around with the cuffs on.” Ten said. He stood then and joined Doyoung, both of them leaving the room. Everyone else was quick to follow, clearing their plates in seconds just to be able to get away from the strange energy coming off Jaehyun and Taeyong in waves.
The traitor was the last to leave, and he gave Taeyong an apologetic look as he sat his plate beside the sink.
Doing the dishes of eighteen people after having prepared the meal seemed totally unfair, but the only person around to hear his complaint was Jaehyun, who obviously wouldn’t have done anything about it, and Taeyong wasn’t planning on speaking to him anyway. He just accepted the task as part of his life now. He pulled on a single rubber glove since the other wouldn’t go up over the stupid handcuff, and he got to work scrubbing off plates and utensils and passing them off to Jaehyun to dry them.
It was a horribly long task that had his shoulders aching, his wrist (the one connected to Jaehyun) burning, and a headache was beginning to grow behind his right eye.
When the last of the dishes was dried and put away, Taeyong was ready to pop a few pills to kill his headache, crawl into bed, and sleep until his body couldn’t sleep any longer.
Just as he turned to head for his room, Jaehyun’s fingers slipped through his.
“Taeyong hyung,” He spoke quietly.
“What?”
A gurgling growl alerted Taeyong to the fact that Jaehyun was still hungry. He’d only had a few bites of his dinner before deciding that it was simply inedible. Taeyong was half-tempted to tell him that it was his own fault, but then he remembered just how whiny Jaehyun could be. A dull throb behind his right eye had Taeyong squeezing his eyes shut and reaching up with his free hand to rub at his eyebrow. He sighed.
“Hurry up and eat something. I just want to sleep.”
Jaehyun moved around the kitchen, pulling Taeyong along behind him. Taeyong didn’t see or care what food he threw together. He just wanted bed.
“We can sleep in my room.” Jaehyun suggested as he pulled his late dinner out of the microwave. “I know how you are about cleanliness, so I wouldn’t dare eat in your bed. Plus it’s just me in there ever since Ten left me for Doyoung.”
Taeyong didn’t have it in him to argue anymore, so he just nodded and let Jaehyun pull him along to the room. They paused briefly so Taeyong could get the medicine for his headache, and he swallowed them down quickly.
Jaehyun’s room was a small room, one of the smallest in the dorm really. Jaehyun’s single-bed was pushed up against the wall, a small chest of drawers squeezed into the spot between his bed and the bare one against the opposite wall. Taeyong couldn’t stand to look at the mess of clothes spread over the floor and the spare bed; he was half-certain he’d glimpsed a plate of old food sitting on top of the chest.
Not even bothering to try to change out of his clothes from the day, Taeyong groaned and dove headfirst onto Jaehyun’s bed. It would be a tight squeeze with the two of them on the bed meant for only a single person, but with the growing pain in his head, he couldn’t be bothered to try and 1) clean the room, and 2) rearrange it so that they’d each have their own bed, close enough that the cuffs wouldn’t pull their arms off.
Jaehyun crawled onto the bed too, careful not to spill his food.
Taeyong rolled onto his side and faced the wall. Jaehyun shifted behind him, shifting their joined arms so that it was comfortable for both of them.
“Do you want the light off?” Jaehyun whispered.
Taeyong grunted, and a moment later the world outside his eyelids went dark. He could still hear the sound of Jaehyun eating.
“Can you maybe play some music or something?” He whispered. “Anything to drown out the sound of you eating.”
Jaehyun’s munching paused.
Music swelled in the darkness, soft and soothing.
“Thanks.”
Jaehyun hummed. When the sound of his chewing resumed it was much quieter, masked by the relaxing music, and before long Taeyong found himself dreaming.
- - -
He felt like his and Jaehyun’s experience with the handcuffs was much different than that of Doyoung and Ten. Those two had continued fighting and being general nuisances, causing trouble among the fans and staff and pretty much everyone due to the presence of the handcuffs complicating the comeback.
For the time being, they didn’t have any more stages on music shows. There was a brief pause for NCT U while NCT Dream took to the stage. There was a brief break in NCT Night Night. Everything worked out perfectly. Taeyong was glad that the cuffs wouldn’t interfere in that way, but they were still an enormous hindrance in everyday life.
For one, there was the whole changing clothes thing, which didn’t really work. There was showering and using the toilet which could range from awkward to embarrassing depending on what was happening.
After Taeyong slept for a full twelve hours that first night, he’d been in a much better mood. The abundance of sleep and decreased amount of stress made him certainly less argumentative, but even when they displayed this in front of the other members, Doyoung refused to uncuff them. They even went to Yuta, asking if he had the spare key to the cuffs, but Yuta just laughed and said he’d given everything about the cuffs over to Doyoung and Ten.
“Do you think I would want to have the ownership of those cuffs anymore? After what they must have been used for at least once?” Yuta was busy folding laundry. He shook his head. “I don’t think Doyoung and Ten are vanilla by any means, Taeyong. Can you believe they must have used my handcuffs for sex?”
Taeyong and Jaehyun had exchanged glances then, and Jaehyun asked, “Well isn’t that what you had them for, hyung?”
Yuta, apparently scandalized by that accusation, left the room. Taeyong noted that he hadn’t truly given them an answer.
A few days passed by, and the handcuffs started to feel rather normal. They’d both learned not to stray too far from the others side, so the chain hung loose between them, and the cuffs were little more than bracelets. They’d even rearranged Jaehyun’s room so that the beds were beside each other. Not that it really mattered, most mornings when Taeyong woke he found that they’d rolled together, completely skipping over the crack in the bed, and their limbs were tangled together.
Taeyong was always flustered when he woke to found them like that. Jaehyun looked so soft and quiet when he slept. More than once, Taeyong had spent a disturbingly long amount of time watching Jaehyun sleep. Their faces were so close together that Taeyong could see every single one of his eyelashes; he could feel Jaehyun’s breath touching his lips, and the small imperfections that makeup usually covered were evident, making him somehow all the more beautiful.
Taeyong hated the way that watching Jaehyun made him feel, all fluttery and hot. He hated the way that his mind wandered when his eyes landed on the younger’s lips, slipping away to places where Taeyong could just imagine kissing him.
No, they weren’t going to do that. Taeyong was certain of that.
Jaehyun pissed him off a lot of the time, and surely Taeyong was just confusing that passion of anger with the complicated desire to kiss him.
Sometimes he found himself thinking about it while Jaehyun was awake and laughing or talking. He’d stare at his lips. He’d imagine if they would feel soft or chapped, if Jaehyun was a good kisser. It was painful to think that way, so Taeyong tried his best to steer his mind away from that. It wouldn’t do to let his mind wander too far down that path because he knew if he imagined going any further than kissing with Jaehyun, there was no going back (and no way for him to take care of what problems might arise).
After one week argument-free, it didn’t matter that they’d learned to work around the handcuffs, Taeyong wanted to be free. He was tired of staying only in the dorm because they couldn’t let the fans seem them handcuffed together too; they’d get the wrong idea and think there was something seriously wrong with the members of NCT. He was tired of constantly being with Jaehyun while also trying to steer his mind away from Jaehyun and the nice way that he smelled and the cute sound of his shy laugh. Also, to avoid the hazard of getting shirts on, they’d both opted to be shirtless, which certainly made things tougher in the whole don’t-think-about-sleeping-with-Jaehyun side of things.
Taeyong needed to be free.
Ever the clever one, Taeyong finally realized that he could simply search online how to pick the lock of the handcuffs. He searched it online while he and Jaehyun sat together with Doyoung, Johnny, and Jungwoo one evening in the dorm’s living room. They were all talking about something Taeyong didn’t pay attention to, and once he’d read enough of an online article that he was certain he knew what to do, he stood up.
Jaehyun didn’t even hesitate, just smoothly getting up with him, and continuing the conversation even as Taeyong led him from the room into the kitchen where there was a drawer filled with little bits and pieces of junk. Specifically, paper clips. Jaehyun didn’t stop talking as Taeyong dug through the drawer, nor when he started bending the paper clip in the manner that the article had directed him to. Jaehyun was busy laughing still even as Taeyong placed the paper clip into the lock and moved it around like the instructions had told him until he felt it give.
Jaehyun’s voice stuttered out as he felt the slack around his wrist. He looked down to find that Taeyong was rubbing his free wrist, while Jaehyun’s was still encircled with metal. He frowned, then looked up. “What did you just do?”
“I unlocked us.” He walked back to the living room (alone!) and showed Doyoung a very rude hand gesture. “I don’t need your key for the cuffs, Doyoung-ah. I figured it out myself.”
He hesitated only long enough to unlock the cuff from Jaehyun’s wrist before he left for his own bed for the first time in what felt like forever. He could shower alone. He could put on a shirt. Taeyong felt free.
He didn’t even notice until a while later that Jaehyun hadn’t thanked him when he set him free.
- - -
Two days passed by without incident. Now that the handcuffs were empty of wrists, everyone seemed careful not to argue with anyone else. Doyoung was in possession of them again, a point that he reminded everyone of any time they said anything that displeased him (a lot of the time it was Ten, done teasingly, and when they disappeared to their room again, everyone became more afraid of the handcuffs).
Two days of freedom.
Two days of Jaehyun nearly avoiding him.
Two full days where Taeyong could think about those emotions he’d started to feel for Jaehyun, all the gushy affection and the darker, sexier thoughts that lounged in the back of his mind, coming forward at the most inconvenient times. He could think about them now. He could shower (alone!) and not wonder if Jaehyun would be able to tell if Taeyong touched himself quickly just to relieve a bit of tension (he did now, and when he emerged rosy-cheeked from the shower, he almost missed knowing that Jaehyun was right there too).
There were no problems, everything was back to normal (except for the odd Jaehyun-inspired flutter in Taeyong’s belly).
Two nights of sweet, peaceful slumber in his own bed. Except for the fact that sometimes Mark talked in his sleep, but Taeyong was almost used to that.
So after two whole wonderful days of absolutely no problems, Taeyong was woken up after a few hours of sleep by his phone ringing. Someone was calling him.
“Make it stop.” Mark groaned.
Taeyong, still half-asleep himself, reached out for his phone. He pressed the green button and held it to his ear. “Hello?”
“Hyung, can you come get me?” Jaehyun’s voice slurred over the line.
Taeyong sat up in bed, glancing over to see that Mark was still deeply asleep. He combed his fingers through his hair and was out of bed in the next instant. He pulled a hoodie on and slipped through the bedroom door.
The dorm was quiet, everyone asleep.
He pulled his phone away from his face to check the time. 3:21am.
“Jaehyun?” Taeyong whispered. The voice on the other end of the call hummed. “Where are you?”
Jaehyun managed to mumble most of an address that Taeyong recognized as a nearby 24-hour place, and then he groaned, “Please, Taeyong hyung, come get me.”
Taeyong was already out the door, his feet jammed into shoes he was sure weren’t his. Jaehyun was only about a twenty minute walk away from the dorm, so Taeyong jogged, trying to keep Jaehyun talking the whole time even as he panted loudly into the phone. You’d think with all the dance practice and everything that they did, he wouldn’t be so out of breath from jogging, yet, he was.
When he arrived, he found Jaehyun sitting outside against the wall, his head between his knees, holding his phone to his ear. Taeyong ended the call, only to hear Jaehyun mumble, “Hyung? Hello?” into the dead call.
“Jaehyun.”
He looked up and grimaced. Taeyong bet the world was swimming around him. The younger man squinted, and when he made out the shape of Taeyong his face burst into a smile. “You came for me.”
Taeyong walked over to him, ignoring the leap in his chest at Jaehyun’s happy expression. Like a puppy.
Sometimes Taeyong forgot that Jaehyun wasn’t really so small. When he was curled up, smiling and pink-cheeked, like he was at that moment, Taeyong found it hard to believe that Jaehyun was taller than him, broader than him, that he wasn’t all that much younger than him in comparison to some of the other members. But he was still Taeyong’s responsibility.
“Jaehyun, you can’t sneak out and get shitfaced, then call me at three in the morning to come get you. Really, you shouldn’t be sneaking out for any reason at all.”
“I didn’t—“
“Don’t argue, Jaehyunnie.” Taeyong crouched down in front of Jaehyun. “You can’t just go out drinking without telling any of us.”
“I’m not arguing. If I was arguing then Doyoung hyung would cuff us together again,” He smiled and reached out, curling his fingers around one of Taeyong’s wrists. “We’d be stuck together again and you wouldn’t leave me alone again.”
“What are you talking about?” Taeyong asked. He studied the circle of Jaehyun’s fingers, the way they felt on his skin, making it tingle slightly, hyper-aware. “Jaehyunnie, I uncuffed us because we weren’t arguing and Doyoung wouldn’t let us go. We weren’t ever really arguing in the first place, just me being over-tired, and you being, well—“ Taeyong broke off, unsure what he was going to say next.
Jaehyun’s eyes were focused on his fingers on Taeyong’s wrist. He squeezed tighter.
“You uncuffed us and then left me alone.” Jaehyun was almost whispering. “I want us to work things out. Like Doyoung and Ten hyung did.”
“We did work it out, Jaehyun. We haven’t argued with each other for over a week.” Taeyong moved to stand up, to take Jaehyun back to the dorm before anyone woke and found them gone. Jaehyun’s hold on his wrist grew tighter, almost painfully so. Taeyong sank back down into a crouch in front of him. “What’s wrong?”
Jaehyun shook his head. “I’m tired. I think I’m drunk. Can you just take me home?”
Taeyong helped Jaehyun to his feet.
The whole way back to the dorm, Jaehyun kept his fingers circled tight around Taeyong’s wrist. He didn’t loosen his grip until Taeyong helped him into bed.
“Thank you, hyung.” Jaehyun’s words were muddled by the alcohol and his tiredness sweeping over him. His fingers twitched, still encircling Taeyong’s wrist.
Taeyong watched Jaehyun until he was sure he was asleep. His breathing leveled out, his mouth hung open, and it was only then that Taeyong noticed that something like a worried shadow had been coloring Jaehyun’s face since he found him on the sidewalk. Only now in its absence did Taeyong notice it had ever been there at all.
- - -
Taeyong didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep until he woke up.
He was still sitting on Jaehyun’s floor, his head and half of his upper body on the bed. His neck ached from sleeping with it at that angle, and, as he sat up, he immediately felt like he should lay down again. A gentle tug on his wrist kept him from moving.
Jaehyun was still asleep. Mostly. His eyes were barely cracked open in the sunlight coming in through the window. He mumbled something as he turned his face into the pillow, something that sounded a lot like “Stay.”
It was still early in the morning, the rest of the dorm was quiet, and Taeyong was still sleepy.
He crawled into the bed, jerking the covers up over himself, and he curled against Jaehyun, trying to make the most of the little space that they had. Jaehyun sighed, his breath warm on the back of Taeyong’s neck, and his arm fell over Taeyong’s waist, fingers still loose around Taeyong’s wrist. Taeyong closed his eyes, warm and safe, happy. He didn’t need handcuffs to feel close to Jaehyun.
He woke again hours later to the sound of the door closing loudly and a voice out in the hallway calling “They’re both in there in the bed!”
A few other voices spoke up, but Taeyong was too asleep still to be able to decipher their words. He shivered back against the warmth behind him, sighing as the warmth hugged him tighter. Taeyong wasn’t ready to get up and leave the warm bed and sleep behind. Maybe he was getting addicted to sleep, having had some of the best nights of sleep recently, he could hardly see a reason not to be asleep.
When Jaehyun groaned behind him, Taeyong suddenly remembered the situation.
1) He was not in his own bed
2) He was in fact currently being spooned by Jaehyun in Jaehyun’s bed (they weren’t supposed to be doing this!!!, he shouted to himself)
Right.
He rolled out of the bed, coming close to landing on his face on the floor, but he put his hands out just in time.
Jaehyun whined in the bed. The sheets that were still tangled around Taeyong’s waist were tugged at, and Taeyong quickly untangled himself and threw them back onto the bed. By the time he got to his feet, Jaehyun had pulled the sheets up to cover his face.
“So bright. God, I feel like I’m dead.” His voice was muffled by all the fabric, but Taeyong was fairly certain that’s what he said.
“I’ll go get you water and make you some breakfast.”
Jaehyun didn’t acknowledge that Taeyong had even spoken.
Taeyong left the room, suspicious as he heard whispers coming from the kitchen and living area, but he didn’t see any of the other members despite the fact that a few moments before they’d clearly been having a gathering right outside Jaehyun’s room. He ducked into the bathroom, filled a cup with water, and returned to Jaehyun’s room. The younger man still hadn’t moved.
Taeyong sat the cup down on the chest of drawers and walked over to draw the curtains over the window, casting the room into darkness.
“Jaehyunnie, I know you’re hungover,” Taeyong sat down on the edge of the bed. He reached for the sheets on his face. “And to be fair, you should’ve known better than to drink so much.”
When he started to move the sheets off of Jaehyun’s face, Jaehyun reached up and stopped Taeyong with a groan.
“You’re going to suffocate in there.” Taeyong said. “Come on. Don’t make me mother you, Jaehyun. Come out of there, drink some water, probably go puke in the bathroom. I’ll be in the kitchen making you breakfast.” He yanked the sheets away from Jaehyun’s face. Jaehyun whined. Taeyong pressed the cup of water into his hands. “You’ll thank me later.”
“And you said you won’t mother me.” Jaehyun’s voice was hoarse and he squinted at Taeyong as the elder left the room.
Twenty minutes later, Jaehyun was still absent from the kitchen. Taeyong had nearly finished making a meal, a nice hangover cure he’d perfected over the last few years—soup, greasy meat, and a few other secret things (mustard, something sweet, love, coffee, etc.). Also, Taeyong had found the gathering of the other sixteen members. They were all arranged around the living room, looking as if they had nothing better to do with their day despite the fact Taeyong knew that several of them did have things to do, places to be, all that stuff.
When he’d emerged into the kitchen, they’d all stared at him, watching him closely as if he was about to perform magic. He ignored them, even though he thought it all very weird. He was focused on the hangover cure.
Jaehyun finally shuffled into the room some time later. Looking a bit better, although his hair was ruffled and there was toothpaste in the corner of his mouth. Taeyong couldn’t help but find it slightly endearing; he wanted to wipe it away, but being that close to Jaehyun’s mouth was dangerous for the state of Taeyong’s heart and mind, so he finished up making the meal. He slid the meal in front of Jaehyun and tried to ignore the way that now the attention on them had intensified. He glanced up to see the others watching them. A few had the decency to turn away; the others had sharp enough looks in their own eyes that Taeyong looked away.
“Are you feeling better now?” Taeyong asked as Jaehyun inhaled the food.
“Fine. A bit embarrassed though.”
“Why?”
Jaehyun looked up through his eyelashes at Taeyong. “You don’t know?”
Taeyong frowned. No, he didn’t know. “What?”
Jaehyun shook his head and it reminded Taeyong peculiarly of the night before, with Jaehyun shaking his head and claiming his was tired and drunk and that’s why he was being strange. This time though Jaehyun offered up more words. “You heard what I said to you last night, right? I mean, I was drunk, but I remember.” Jaehyun spun his spoon around in the soup. “I told you about the handcuff thing.”
Confused Taeyong scratched the back of his neck. “What about them?”
A flurry of whispers rose in the living room. Taeyong glanced up to see Haechan and Lucas both acting like Taeyong had said something stupid. Annoyingly, Doyoung was sitting on Ten’s lap, which Taeyong felt would actually squash the smaller man, and Ten was fondly whispering in Doyoung’s ear again.
When Jaehyun stood up, Taeyong’s attention snapped back to him. He’d cleared the rest of his food in the few moments that Taeyong had looked away. Taeyong asked, “Where are you going?”
Jaehyun placed the dishes in the sink, and turned to face Taeyong.
For the first time he seemed to notice the other members, and his cheeks and ears went pink, but his eyes met Taeyong’s. “Last night I said I wanted us to work things out between us.”
“And I told you that we have worked things out. We aren’t arguing anymore, just like Doyoung and Ten don’t really argue anymore.” Taeyong waved at the couple.
Jaehyun followed the gesture with his eyes. His hands reached for Taeyong’s, and Taeyong was quick to tangle their fingers together. Jaehyun sighed, “That’s not what I meant. I didn’t mean that I just don’t want us to argue.”
Frustration painted his ears even redder. Taeyong thought it was really cute, but also, his own frustration was painting an ugly stripe through the scene. He wasn’t sure what Jaehyun was getting at. What else could he possibly want?
“Do you really not get it?” asked Jaehyun after a few moments of silence. His tone was one of defeat.
Taeyong raised his eyebrows. He glanced toward the living room, then back at Jaehyun. No one was giving anything away. He didn’t know what was going on, and honestly, he was feeling a little bit like everyone was ganging up on him.
“Oh. My. God. Taeyong hyung,” Jisung was looking at them over the back of the sofa, exasperated at the lack of progress in the scene. “He’s clearly in love with you. Just kiss him or something so he’ll stop pining.”
Taeyong looked back to Jaehyun, feeling like his eyes must have grown comically wide. He swallowed past a sudden lump in his throat.
What? Jaehyun was in love with him? All these days when Taeyong had been pining after Jaehyun, dreaming of kissing him, and Jaehyun was in love? Absolutely not. Taeyong couldn’t believe Jisung would say that because it was probably just a trick, just a dumb trick because they wanted to see how Taeyong and Jaehyun would react.
But if it was a trick, then why was Jaehyun looking at him like that?
Jaehyun’s fingers were still twisted with his. Jaehyun’s eyes were softer than Taeyong had seen them in weeks.
“He’s not wrong.” Jaehyun whispered.
Taeyong felt like the bottom of his stomach dropped off. He was floating.
Jaehyun’s thumb stroked over the back of Taeyong’s hand. “I think I am in love with you, which I know is probably crazy, like how many of us in this group are going to turn out to be secretly in love with the others, right?” He laughed lightly, as if trying to brush over the whole situation.
Taeyong wished he couldn’t feel the eyes of their audience burning over his skin. He wished that the way that Jaehyun’s thumb moved over the back of his hand didn’t tingle and send zips of electricity toward his heart. He wished that Doyoung had never handcuffed them together in the first place because maybe then Taeyong could have continued living his life without coming to the realization that he did in fact have some very strong feelings of affection (he wasn’t sure he was ready to call it love yet) for Jaehyun.
He wished there wasn’t an audience, but he’d be damned if he didn’t love the way Jaehyun was looking at him right then, all soft smiles and warm eyes, his cheeks rosy. He looked away, down to their hands, because if he stared for another second longer, he felt he might explode.
“You’re going to be the death of me.” The words were barely audible from his lips even to Taeyong’s ears.
Jaehyun leaned forward, “What?”
Licking his lips, Taeyong shook his head. He raised his gaze from their hands to Jaehyun’s lips and then his eyes. Jaehyun was already staring at him. A bit confused, a bit hopeful. Taeyong wondered if his eyes looked the same. He sighed.
“I said,” He took a step forward. His nose brushed Jaehyun’s. Electricity zipped over every inch of his skin, racing inward toward his heart. “Jaehyun, you’re going to be the death of me.”
Taeyong pushed forward over that last, small distance. His body buzzed and felt ready to burst when their lips touched, and Jaehyun’s hands on his went loose and instead moved to grip at his shirt, trail up his arm, clutch at his waist. Taeyong smiled into the kiss, and he felt silly. Everyone was watching and he heard them clapping and Jaehyun laughed, pulling away as if to end the kiss.
“I’m not done yet,” Taeyong muttered. He snagged his hand in the front of Jaehyun’s shirt he reeled him back in again. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be done kissing him.
- - -
Taeyong wasn’t sure what love was supposed to be like, but if it was anything like this then he was happy.
If love was Jaehyun kissing him awake when they had an early day— If love was feeling Jaehyun’s arms around him as they slept in the same stupidly small bed— If love was as surprisingly simple as knowing that he had Jaehyun at his side, well, then Taeyong wouldn’t trade anything in the world for it.