Work Text:
For almost a week the kids had been talking about “Take Your Child to Work Day,” which meant that Dazai had exactly zero excuses now to be rushing around like a chicken with his head cut off the morning of. Somehow his alarm hadn’t gone off that morning, so now he was pulling double duty, attempting to get ready for work like usual while also waking a sleepy three year old and trying to get his things together as well. There was no time to brew a pot of coffee, which meant that his beloved spouse would no doubt continue to sleep; he had no other method to rouse him and get any assistance now. It also meant that he’d definitely have to fight off his precocious five year old while doing all this.
“How come he gets to go with you?” Ryuunosuke pouted, jabbing a tiny finger in Atsushi’s direction, the three year old busy contorting himself around a chair at the kitchen table instead of eating his toast like a good boy.
“Because you went with Papa last year while Atsushi stayed with Daddy, we’re reversing it this time,” Dazai patiently revealed while throwing lunch for himself and Atsushi into a bag, “That and i’d probably be fired for unleashing the both of you on campus together…” he finished, muttering under his breath.
“What?” both boys chorused together.
“Nothing,” Dazai called cheerily, slamming the refrigerator door shut with a hip, hands full, “Atsushi, why are you not dressed yet?” he asked once he’d turned around, noting his youngest son’s white tiger onesie.
“I am dressed!” the boy grinned up at his father, “i’m a tiger!” Atsushi released a series of tiny growls and roars to demonstrate, raising little clawed hands in Ryuu’s direction. The older boy looked less than impressed.
“Huh, ok,” Dazai shrugged, heading for the counter.
“Are you packing coffee creamer?” a confused voice called from over Dazai’s shoulder. Chuuya stood in the kitchen entry, hair sleep-mused, a tiny girl with black pigtails and a binky perched on his hip.
Dazai raised the objects in his hands to eye level; somewhere along the line he’d mistaken the creamer for one of Atsushi’s little milk jugs, “See, what would I do without you?” he grinned, switching out the plastic containers.
“Drink a lot, lose your job...” Chuuya blinked flatly at his husband, “die?”
“I want Lucky Charms for breakfast,” Ryuu called, interrupting his parents.
“Ok, ok, just let me get Papa and your brother out of the door first,” Chuuya conceded, placing Kyouka in her highchair with a bottle. With some help from Chuuya, Dazai managed to get all of Atsushi’s food and “quiet time” activities bagged up, grabbing his own bag full of graded assignments and a squirmy, giggly Atsushi as well. With everything in his arms, Dazai turned to give Chuuya a parting kiss, pleased that he’d managed not to screw everything up until he saw Chuuya glance at Atsushi.
“Wait, are those pajamas? What is he wearing-”
“CLOTHES.” Dazai shouted in a panic, slamming the front door shut to end that line of questioning.
Chuuya’s eyes narrowed on the space his husband had been occupying seconds before, “Bastard,” he muttered.
“What a bastard?” Ryuu asked from right behind him, forcing a startled jump from his father.
Pressing a hand to his chest, Chuuya allowed his pulse to slow again before responding, “...You know those words we don’t tell Papa you know?”
“Oh, like bit-”
“YES. Yes like that...it’s one of those words. Please don’t repeat it again, Ryuu.”
Ryuu looked back up at the man, dark eyes far too calculating for a five year old, considering the request as if probing it for a weakness.
“Lucky Charms,” he stated simply, naming the price for his silence.
“Lucky Charms,” Chuuya nodded, taking the boy’s hand and leading him back to the kitchen.
***
Atsushi was quick to reveal once he was buckled into his car seat that he hadn’t finished his breakfast earlier, giving Dazai an excuse to hit one of the on campus cafes on his way to class. It was surprisingly empty for that time of morning, but considering it was a Monday and most college kids would probably be dragging themselves out of bed 5 minutes before class, maybe it wasn’t a shock.
“Hey Mr. Dazai,” the girl behind the counter greeted him; her name was Lucy if Dazai was remembering his former students correctly, “what can I get you?”
“The most caffeine per ounce liquid you’re legally able to sell,” Dazai responded, depositing his son on the counter, “And a muffin for this one,” he nodded in Atsushi’s direction.
“Aww cute tiger,” Lucy smiled, turning to get Dazai’s Americano ready, “Mom sick today?”
“No, Dad is perfectly healthy at home with the other rugrats,” Dazai clarified with a smile, “Papa is participating in the age old tradition of taking your spawn to work day until the department head kicks us out.”
Lucy snorted, pulling out a blueberry muffin and handing it off to Atsushi who descended on it with glee, “He seems better behaved than most of the people I take classes with.”
“I meant me, I plan on throwing a tantrum sometime around 2:00 if everything goes right.”
With his coffee in hand and Atsushi back in his arms, Dazai set off for his classroom a couple buildings away. Students glanced his way in interest as he passed; Dazai had a reputation as a “cool” professor, one that rumors followed around like a cloud of smoke, like that he had five different girlfriends, used to be a backup guitar for Fall Out Boy, and that he’s once crashed a Maserati and walked away without a scratch. That he had an adorable little three year old was definitely not one of those rumors.
Admittedly he must have been a sight, once he slid into the already partially filled room, stylish grey suit, sunglasses, coffee cup...with a Paw Patrol bag on his shoulder and a toddler with muffin crumbs stuck to his face.
Several of the students stared at him in open-mouthed shock.
“His name is Atsushi, he’s three, no I didn’t steal him, yes he’s legally mine,” Dazai announced, hoping to squash all discussion right off the bat while removing his sunglasses, “and no he doesn’t bite...to my knowledge.”
Atsushi grinned up at him, flashing his teeth.
Dazai stuck Atsushi at his desk with a coloring book while he strolled around the front of the room giving his lecture for the day. Teaching literature meant he got to play fast and loose with the way he presented information, something that made him an insanely popular professor known for his humor and penchant for poking fun at the classics. It had also gotten him into trouble a couple times, most notably for saying that Dan Brown was “an infected pimple on the ass cheek of literature,” and that he’d fight him outside the football stadium at 3 AM if it meant he’d have a chance at breaking his hands so he’d never write again.
Today was a lowkey day, and when Dazai checked his watch fifthteen minutes before the end of class, he dismissed everyone early. They’d covered all the pertinent information, and Atsushi was starting to get squirmy behind the desk. Students trailed out of the room, glancing at the little boy and smiling softly at the way he scribbled away at the papers on his father’s desk.
“Bored yet, kiddo?” Dazai asked, leaning over his son once everyone had left. A couple stick figures that appeared to be engaged in epic battle that he was pretty sure represented Atsushi and Ryuunosuke greeted him.
“I drew it for you,” Atsushi grinned up at his father, shoving the drawing in his face, “You can put it on your desk.”
“Ahh yes, I love art of my children murdering each other,” Dazai smiled back, sitting the drawing in a place of prominence where all his students would be able to admire it.
“Hey i’ve got an idea,” Dazai suggested, pulling some papers out of his top drawer, “You remember Miss Yosano, right? She gave you a sucker last time you saw her.”
Atsushi’s face suddenly lit up, “SCARY LADY! She’s cool!”
Dazai bit his lip to keep from laughing at “scary lady”; well, he wasn’t exactly wrong…
“Yeah, I need to give her some forms from a meeting Papa went to the other day...if you think you’re big enough...i’ll let you take them to her. She might have some more candy for you.”
Atsushi looked like Dazai had just told him that Santa was waiting in the hallway for him, immediately jumping from his chair and reaching out for the papers, “YEAH! I can do it! I’m a big kid!”
“Sure you are,” Dazai assured him cheerfully, handing over the papers. He walked Atsushi to the door, showing him that all he had to do was walk down the hall and turn at the big sign on the wall. The first door after the turn belonged to Dr. Yosano, and that he could stay and visit for a little bit, but to come right back when they were done. Dazai assumed that Akiko might even walk Atsushi back herself to ensure he didn’t wander off.
Atsushi toddled off down the hall, giving his father a happy smile from over his shoulder before turning the corner. Dazai left the door open, retreating back into the classroom to organize his lecture notes and begin grading the assignment he’s collected earlier. There wasn’t an ounce of doubt or concern in his mind in that moment, knowing full well that the building was nothing but safe for his son.
The hall that Atsushi turned into was significantly darker than the one he’d been in seconds before, the light dimmer and diffused. It stunted his pace, his tiny legs moving slowly like he was treading water, like he expected a monster to pop out of a darkened corner any second. Swallowing, his bright eyes lingered on the walls while searching for the door that belonged to Dr. Yosano. He found it on the left, although he was still too young to read the gold placard hanging there. The door was shut tight; suddenly Atsushi was consumed by trepidation, afraid of knocking on the door and upsetting the lady who worked there, or afraid that no one would answer. He glanced around again, but this time something else caught his eye; at the end of the hall, the only bright source of light cut the gloom of the hall. It was a door to the outside, and beyond it...a couple students...as well as…
“KITTY!” Atsushi gasped, catching sight of the school’s costumed mascot, a large lovable calico cat. Immediately he torn down the hall, all previous fear of the dark gone. He dropped the papers at the door, little hands pressed to the glass there as he watched the mascot bump fists with students and flex it’s puffy stuffed arm. Atsushi watched with fascination, the grin on his face growing by the second, but the kitty was walking away, off to another destination on campus. Atsushi panicked, pushing on the glass of the door; it swung forward, the little boy falling in the same direction out onto the campus grounds. He stumbled but caught himself, determined to follow the cat, all memory of his father’s instructions to deliver the papers banished from his mind.
Ten minutes later and Dazai checked his watch again, wondering what Atsushi and Yosano could possibly be up to. He trusted the woman with his child, but he had expected her to give the boy the slip by now. He rose from his desk, exiting into the hallway and towards Yosano’s office. The hall was especially dark here, and suddenly Dazai was seized by the fear that it had upset Atsushi. He knocked on Yosano’s door, expecting to hear her voice or Atsushi’s inside. No response came. Frowning he tried again, this time knocking a little louder. He thought he heard the shifting of paper and perhaps something else, but when the sound of approaching footsteps couldn’t be heard, Dazai suddenly became worried and pulled the door open, expecting to find an empty office.
He didn’t expect to be greeted by a shrill scream and the sight of two of his coworkers in various states of undress on top of Yosano’s desk, that was for sure.
”GOOD GOD,” Dazai shouted, falling backwards into the hall, shielding his vision with the door. Inside the room, Yosano and Edogawa Ranpo rushed to pull clothing back into place as quickly as possible, leading to Ranpo nearly falling sideways off the desk.
“DON’T PEOPLE KNOCK AROUND HERE!?” Yosano shouted, once she was decent, brushing her short, bobbed hair back into order.
“I DID KNOCK, TWICE!” Dazai yelled back, still hiding behind the door.
“I thought you locked the door?” Yosano spoke again, this time directing her ire towards Ranpo, who was now reclining across her desk like some sort of emperor; he’d fished a sucker out of the container on her desk and seemed unruffled by the whole scene.
“I enjoy the excitement,” he shrugged.
“Excuse me, as much as i’d love to listen to you two discuss what gets your rocks off in great detail, I…” Dazai had just been about to ask about Atsushi, but obviously if these two were sucking face in the office there was no way the boy was here. That meant that Dazai didn’t know where Atsushi was. That meant that he was most likely alone somewhere on campus. That meant that Chuuya was going to hang him from his thumbs and skin him alive. This realization must have flashed across his face with startling vibrancy if the way Yosano and Ranpo looked at him said anything.
“Dazai, are you...alright?”
“I lost him. Oh god…”
“You lost who?” Ranpo asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Atsushi, he was supposed to bring you paperwork…” Dazai had already pulled back from the office door, head snapping up and down the hall for any sign on the three year old.
“Oh my god! Dazai why would you let him out of your sight!?” Yosano called as Dazai took off down the hall in the direction of the door, the woman close behind. When he reached the door, he found the paperwork waiting for him, haphazardly scattered on the floor just inside. Panic hit him like a freight train, stealing the breath from his lungs and forcing his heart into an accelerated lurch. He didn’t even bother to pick up the pages, bursting through the door and out onto the sidewalk that crawled up to the building, spinning around for any sight of the little boy. He would be unmistakable in his tiger onesie.
“He couldn’t have gotten that far, chances are he’ll run into campus security before he finds any trouble,” Yosano attempted to calm Dazai down, which wasn’t working if the way both hands curled maniacally in his hair to pull at it said anything.
“He’s gonna kill me. Chuuya’s gonna fucking kill me…”
“Well...not to say it wouldn’t be well deserved or anything…” Yosano muttered.
Ranpo had caught up with them by now, “I’m sorry, but who the heck is Atsushi?”
“Dazai’s very small child who should definitely not be roaming a college campus by himself,” Yosano revealed.
“Right,” Ranpo murmured, pulling out his cellphone, “I’ll need a current picture of him but I can contact security preemptively to make this easier.”
Dazai spun on his heel, suddenly remembering that not only was Ranpo a criminology and forensic science expert, but that he regularly worked with local law enforcement, “Do you think you can find him?”
“Pff, I would hope so,” Ranpo answered dismissively, “Unless he’s been kidnapped by a frat and is being held ransom for beer money.”
Dazai made a sound of panic. Yosano shot Ranpo a withering glare.
“Relax, we’ll find him. Are there any places on campus that he’s familiar with or would want to go? Anything he’s mentioned before?” Ranpo questioned Dazai.
“He’s only really been to my classroom and office...and the cafe we stopped at today…” Dazai answered.
Ranpo nodded, “Alright, we can stop by the cafe on the way to the student center, it’s the most visible building in the area, he might be compelled to go there.”
“Ok, then i’ll-” Dazai stopped short, coming to a complete halt. His phone had begun to vibrate in his pocket. Fear slipped down his spine like a drip of water, his eyes widening as he realized that there would be only one person calling him at this time.
“Oh god,” he whispered, closing his eyes slowly, accepting his impending death.
Both Yosano and Ranpo questioned him as to what was wrong, but Dazai merely slid his hand into his pocket, retrieving the still vibrating phone. Swallowing down all of his terror for the time being, Dazai adopted a cheery voice and pressed the receive button.
“Helloooo there my little firecracker, what can I do for you?”
Chuuya lifted an eyebrow on the other end, phone pressed into the shoulder as he fought to get Kyouka to eat her mashed carrots, “I’m attempting to call my husband, but he seems to have been replaced by someone even more off his rocker than usual.”
“Hahaha oh sweetie, you’re so funny~” Dazai could feel himself start to sweat. There was nothing convincing about this, it was like he was screaming his guilt through the phone, “but really, you never call me at work, what’s up?”
“Well, you usually don’t take one of my children to work with you, I just wanted to call and check up on Atsushi and make sure everything’s fine.”
Dazai resisted the urge to make a panicked sound.
“Everything’s great! Really! He’s uhh...he’s behaving perfectly,” Dazai responded, voice a touch higher than it should have been. If Chuuya noticed, he said nothing.
“Great, can I talk to him for a second?”
Dazai did make a sound of panic this time.
“Haha sorry about that! Paper cut…” Dazai attempted to cover, “He’s uhh...actually...taking a nap.”
“A nap?” Chuuya sounded surprised but not unbelieving.
“Yeah! You know how he gets...he was just so excited to be here he tired himself out.”
“Hmm…” Chuuya seemed to be considering if this explanation was sufficient or not, “Ok, just...make sure he eats lunch when he gets up.”
“Sure, absolutely, you got it,” both of Dazai’s hands were now curled around the phone with excessive force. The big fake smile on his face was so wide that passerbyers were now giving him concerned looks.
They said their goodbyes, Chuuya on his end exasperated at not being able to speak to his middle child and make sure that he was having a good time. Ryuunosuke surely wasn’t having fun in comparison, if the way he’d been huffing and sighing since his Papa left said anything. Chuuya had tried desperately to inspire some level of interest in his oldest for the editing he was doing for a new book, but it was hard for a kid to feel engaged when you were dealing with text on a laptop. Eventually he’d given in and turned on some cartoons for Ryuu on his tablet while continuing to work.
Now he had the esteemed challenge of trying to get both of his remaining kids to eat lunch.
“I don’t like macaroni and cheese,” Ryuu insisted, stabbing at the cheesy noodles on his plate with pronounced malice.
“You love mac and cheese,” Chuuya responded incredulously, while trying to shove a spoon into Kyouka’s mouth. The little girl’s lips remained tightly shut, chin craning away from her father to put up a fight.
“Atsushi likes macaroni and cheese,” Ryuu reminded him in a mocking tone that clearly telegraphed how much he detested being confused for his little brother.
“You know who else likes macaroni and cheese?” Chuuya asked conspiratorially, side-stepping Ryuu’s dark mood, “Papa loves macaroni and cheese.”
Ryuu glanced in his father’s direction before turning to stare down at his plate for several seconds before lifting his fork again, “I like macaroni and cheese,” he murmured, spearing a couple noodles and raising them to his mouth.
“Of course you do,” Chuuya muttered, glad that his child was eating but annoyed that he’d once again had to rely on Ryuu’s hero worship for Dazai to get him to do it.
***
Atsushi had lost track of the giant cat, but had stumbled into a small park that contained a swingset and slide, which was obviously just as good. He didn’t think about his father or the possibility that he was now running full tilt across campus screaming his name and terrifying college students in the process. Smiling happily, Atsushi took up a spot on one of the swings and began to pendulum back and forth, little legs kicking out each time he swung forward.
Eventually Atsushi grew bored with simply swinging, and realizing that his parents weren't around to chastise him, decided to practise jumping from the swing as Ryuu often did. Atsushi was still smaller and incapable of matching his brother, but maybe now he'd have a chance to improve.
It was on one of these jumps that Atsushi overshot things and landed a distance away with dirt in his mouth, falling flat on his front. He turned over, the beginnings of tears in his eyes until he heard something.
“Hey kid, are you alright?”
Atsushi turned from his sitting position on the ground to see a few kids like the kind his Papa taught standing on the sidewalk just outside the park grounds. The rough looking boy with red hair and a bandage on his nose had been the one to speak. Atsushi nodded rapidly in response to his question.
“Are you here with anyone?” a girl with long dark hair asked, obviously the boy’s close friend. For the first time since wandering off, Atsushi felt a stab of panic; he hadn't really considered that he was all alone in a strange place without his dads, but now he was acutely aware.
“M-my Papa is a teacher,” Atsushi announced, hoping the students would understand. They seemed to from the look of awareness that flashed on their faces.
“Oh man, he's a professor’s kid? Should we call the cops?” the boy asked, frowning at the girl. Atsushi practically jumped at that suggestion. Was he in trouble? Were they really going to call the cops on him?
“Maybe, do you have security’s number?” the girl asked, thumbing through her phone. While the two were preoccupied with consulting their devices, Atsushi seized the moment and snuck out of their line of sight, heading for the bushes on the far end of the park before the police could show up and arrest him.
“Don't worry little boy, they'll be able to find your dad for-" the girl stopped speaking, looking up to discover that Atsushi was no longer there, “Where the heck did he go?”
***
Dazai had spent the past half hour sprinting the length of the campus looking for his son, although security had assured him several times that it was unnecessary. Ranpo was working with them now, with Dazai and Yosano splitting up in the meantime to look for the kid on their own, not content to sit back and wait for news. Dazai was now tearing up the main boulevard towards the student center, craning his neck this way and that when he ran directly into someone on the sidewalk, sending papers everywhere.
“Do you MIND!?” a familiar voice bellowed from across the pavement at Dazai. The head of the math department, Doppo Kunikida had landed a few feet away in a flurry of paperwork and files.
“KUNIKIDA!” Dazai shrieked, launching himself at the other man, which in turn startled Kunikida, “you have to help me! I can't find him anywhere!”
Kunikida tried to pry Dazai's fingers from his shirt with as much grace as he could muster while still eyeing the other man cautiously, “Who can't you find?”
“ATSUSHI! He’s only three and I lost him!” Dazai's voice had begun to crack in places. Kunikida now remembered Dazai's middle child from the birthday party he'd been invited to a few months before.
“You lost...your three year old son...on a college campus?”
“Yes,” Dazai sniffled pathetically.
Kunikida fixed Dazai with a serious, leveled gaze, “Chuuya’s going to murder you.”
“I KNOOOOWWWWWWW,” Dazai wailed, falling forward to bury his face against Kunikida’s chest and sob hysterically. Kunikida sighed, pushing Dazai off him as best as he could so as to gather his papers and assist the man in finding his child.
***
Atsushi kept glancing behind him to ensure that no one was following him. Any moment he expected to hear the wail of police sirens sent to take him away; he hadn't known that being without your parents was a crime! He would have to find his way back to his Papa's classroom right away if he wanted to stay out of jail.
He had been so concerned with watching his back that Atsushi had never seen the man in front of him, ploughing into his shins and bouncing backwards upon impact. When he landed on his backside, Atsushi turned his head up to stare at the man with lank dark hair and quizzical purple eyes.
The man cocked his head slightly, taking in the little boy and his tiger onesie, “Are you lost, child?” he asked in a strange accent.
Atsushi had been about to say yes, but he remembered that he was on the lamb; he shook his head no quickly, eyes wide with fear. He couldn't tell if the man believed him or not.
“Where are your parents then?” he asked, thumbing at his chin in contemplation. Atsushi panicked and said the first thing that came to mind.
“You talk funny,” he blurted out.
The man stiffened suddenly, nostrils flaring in indignation, “I do not talk funny,” he insisted in his unfamiliar accent.
“Yeah ya do,” Atsushi replied as nonchalantly as possible.
“Do not,” the man shot back, eyes narrowing.
“Do too,” Atsushi countered.
“Do not.”
“Do too.”
The man paused, staring down at the boy with pursed lips, “Well...tigers are endangered,” the man announced as he turned and began to walk away, “and stupid.”
“Are not!” Atsushi yelled at his retreating back.
“Are too,” the man called from over his shoulder as he began to stroll towards a nearby building.
“Are not! And they're not in danger, they have pointy claws and teeth!” Atsushi called, missing what the man had really said.
***
“Campus police just took statements from a couple kids who think they saw him at the playground on Collegeview,” Ranpo announced once he was off the phone. Dazai leapt to his feet in an instant while Yosano and Kunikida remained collapsed against a park bench.
“Woah there, he's not at the park anymore, security’s been combing it since we got word,” Ranpo told the panicked father, holding up a hand. Dazai sagged.
“He couldn't have gotten far! His legs can only cover a short distance!”
“Yeah, but he's got the endless energy of a little kid,” Yosano sighed, head perched on her hand from where she leaned against the bench’s armrest, “he's like the Energizer Bunny.”
“We should still go over there,” Dazai insisted.
Kunikida groaned, slumping further on the bench, “YOU go Dazai and report back, I'm beat from all this running around.”
Dazai had missed Kunikida’s complaint however as his phone had just buzzed with a text message; opening it, he'd almost dropped his phone completely.
“CHUUYA’SCOMINGTOCAMPUSTOSEEUSIMGOINGTODIE,” Dazai yelled in a rush, eyes impossibly wide and terrified.
“Well, it was nice knowin’ ya, buddy,” Ranpo patted Dazai on the shoulder.
“We have about fifteen minutes to find Atsushi, maybe longer if I can count on Kyouka to spit up in the car like she always does after lunch,” Dazai told them, a new determined energy taking root in him.
Kunikida sighed, pulling himself to his feet, “I'm helping, not to save your life but because Chuuya doing jail time would be a disaster for your children.”
Dazai's brows contracted in confusion, “Thanks?”
Yosano looked up from her phone, also wearing a questioning look, “Does anyone know why Dostoyevsky just text me to ask if his accent sounds funny?”
“I mean, it kinda does,” Dazai muttered, walking away in the direction of the park.
“Oh it does not,” Yosano insisted.
“Does too!”
***
Atsushi wandered around campus looking for the building that contained his father's classroom, a task made nearly impossible due to the fact that almost all of the buildings looked the same. He thought he was heading back in the right direction when he found the cafe that they had stopped at that morning, but he would have to cross a big street that cars zoomed up and down to get there. He had never crossed the street alone before and knew that both of his fathers would have never allowed him.
He flopped down on the pavement next to the cafe’s overhang, tears welling up in his eyes as he stared in the direction of the building he thought might contain his Papa. Just as he felt a sob begin to well up in his chest, someone came out of the cafe behind him.
“Hey tiger, what are you doing here?” a familiar voice called. Atsushi turned to see the girl who had been behind the counter earlier, red hair tied up in braids with a backpack slung over her shoulder. Atsushi’s whole face brightened.
“MUFFIN GIRL!” he yelled, springing to his little feet. Lucy laughed.
“Where's your dad? Don't tell me you're out here alone?”
“I got lost,” Atsushi admitted, wilting a bit; he trusted that Lucy probably wouldn't turn him in to the police if he was honest with her.
“Oh man your dad is probably going postal then,” she murmured, pulling out her cellphone, “let's go find him, ok?” she asked, reaching out with her opposite hand to take Atsushi’s.
“Ok!” Atsushi grinned, allowing Lucy to lead him off to find Dazai.
***
“Hey if Chuuya really does kill you, can I have your office?” Ranpo asked as Dazai lay face down on the bench outside their building. Kunikida shot Ranpo a reproachful look.
“What? His office is near Akiko’s…”
Dazai sighed, body deflating further if possible, “I just want my son back,” he murmured. Everyone's faces fell a little; that was the main reason to be distraught, that Atsushi was lost and possibly scared and alone.
“What if he needs me, what if he's hungry or cold?” Dazai lamented. Just as he'd begun to speak, something caught Yosano’s eye. She perked up, grabbing Ranpo’s shoulder and pointing.
“What if he's scared and needs me?” Dazai continued.
“Uhh, Dazai…”
“What if he's been kidnapped!? What am I gonna do then?”
“Dazai, seriously…”
“What if-"
“OI, DAZAI!” Kunikida yelled.
Dazai looked up; Lucy, the girl from earlier in the day stood staring down at him in surprise. In her arms she held Atsushi.
“Hi Papa!” he called down to him as if nothing was amiss.
Dazai made a terrible choking sound, practically falling from the bench as he scrambled up to scoop his son into his arms. Lucy handed him off, a slightly amused smile curling across her lips at Dazai's obvious relief.
“Where were you!? I ran the entire length of the campus twelve times! You know you’re not supposed to wander off like that…”
Dazai turned to Lucy next, “Thank you so much, I don’t know how to repay you...if you need a recommendation or-OR IF YOU EVER TAKE A CLASS WITH ME AGAIN, YOU’LL GET AN INSTANT A!”
Kunikida’s expression soured, “Highly illegal,” he murmured in disapproval.
Lucy laughed, “Thanks, i’m just glad I could get this guy back in one piece,” she insisted, before ruffling Atsushi’s hair, “take care tiger, don’t wander off anymore.”
“Bye Lucy!” Atsushi called as she walked away, “I like her….I think i’ll marry her,” he decided.
“Seriously Atsushi, do you even know how scared I was? I thought i’d lost you for good,” Dazai informed the little boy, drawing his attention back to present events.
“But,” Atsushi’s eyes had grown round, a very serious look for a three year old spreading across his face, “there was a BIG KITTY,” he revealed, as if he’d just given the best possible explanation possible.
Dazai stared at his son for several seconds, “Yeah, that makes sense,” Dazai shrugged, holding his son tighter.
“Just promise me you’ll never do that again, who knows what could have happened to you all alone on a college campus,” Dazai sighed.
“...Excuse me?”
Dazai’s entire face froze. No one had warned him of the man creeping up behind him.
Turning slowly, Dazai’s eyes landed on Chuuya, who had Kyouka strapped to the front of his chest, Ryuu’s hand in his own.
“Do you...want to repeat what you just said…?” Chuuya asked, a deceptively calm and sweet smile on his lips.
Dazai shook his head, “Nope, no, definitely not.” Dazai’s coworkers were now slowly creeping away from the confrontation.
“Oh?” Chuuya asked softly, drawing closer to his husband, “you’re lucky I’m physically wearing one of our children right now,” he threatened in a hiss, leaning in to Dazai’s personal space. The girl in question gazed up at Dazai with bored eyes, sucking away at her binky.
“KITTY!” Atsushi suddenly yelled, pointing beyond his parents. The calico mascot waved from a distance, having heard Atsushi’s voice. With the tension broken, Dazai released his son, who skipped towards the approaching college mascot. Ryuu hid behind Chuuya’s legs.
“We’ll discuss this when we get home,” Chuuya muttered through clenched teeth, ready to switch over to enthusiastic parent upon seeing Atsushi hug the mascot; Yosano had already fished out her phone to take pictures.
“Yes dear,” Dazai replied with a smile that was more like a grimace.