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Blood splattered on the ground, irreparably staining the plush white carpets that made up only a small portion of the flooring in Hidaka Hokuto’s current residence; a simple apartment that helped him keep a low profile. At this exact moment, Yuzuru was immensely thankful for the unobservant tenants that occupied the surrounding apartments.
It was apparently not unusual for people in Yuzuru’s current condition to come and go within the apartment complex, otherwise someone would have called an ambulance for him, and that was the last thing he wanted. It was safer for him to just rest at Hokuto’s apartment and treat his injuries himself, rather than get outsiders involved in his business.
“Hidaka-sama…?” Yuzuru spoke softly, wary that he may have been followed or that someone had figured out his connection to Hokuto and beat him there.
It was a given that an abundance of cautiousness was necessary in his line of work, and though his vision was blurring, he took the time to make sure none of Hokuto’s things were out of place.
The pair had been close for years, having met when they were both children, and Yuzuru had served the Himemiya family. They had stayed friends, even when Yuzuru had strayed into a not quite legal form of work.
Hokuto had followed him down the path he had chosen, and though he often worried for his safety, Yuzuru could not be happier that he could still stare into those deep blue eyes of his. It was without judgement that Hokuto looked at him, and it would be a lie to say that he was not just a little in love with him.
In fact, it was the thought of Hokuto that had kept him moving, even though the injuries he had received earlier that night could turn deadly if not treated quickly enough. He could not stand the thought of not seeing his best friend and confidant at least one last time, if there was nothing that could be done for his wounds. He just wanted to memorize every bit of Hokuto’s perfect face, from his eyes that were the perfect shade of blue to the smile that only he had the honor seeing…
It was becoming clear to Yuzuru that some sort of delirium was beginning to set in, likely as a result of blood loss. “Fuck.” He cursed, his bloodied hand slipping from the end table he had used to support himself.
He was clued in to the fact that he was definitely suffering from blood loss when he noticed Hokuto was by his side only when he was lifted into his sturdy arms and hurried off to the bedroom.
By this point, it was beginning to become difficult to keep his eyes open.
“Dammit, Yuzuru! Why didn’t you call me?!” Yuzuru couldn’t tell if Hokuto was genuinely asking him or just venting, but the panic in his voice was unmistakable.
Yuzuru closed his eyes, unable to keep them open any longer. He hardly even registered when Hokuto began to hastily pad and bind the worst of his wounds together to staunch the bleeding.
There was a touch on his cheek for just a moment, and then it was gone. He could hear Hokuto’s frantic steps to the bathroom, where he kept his stash of emergency medical supplies for occasions such as these.
Hokuto returned a few moments later, this time placing his hand on Yuzuru’s cheek. It was enough to make him open his eyes for just a few seconds. His face was drawn with worry and his eyes wide and anxious.
“I have to move you again.” Even now, Hokuto sounded collected as ever, and Yuzuru was thankful for the way he stayed that way under stressful and intense situations such as this. It was enough to keep him calm, knowing that Hokuto was going to take care of him, in spite of the fact that he was sure he was dying.
Hokuto slipped one arm under Yuzuru’s knees and the other under his back and lifted him gently into the air. Then he set him down on the floor, careful to prop his head up with a pillow.
Yuzuru’s eyes shut again and he was left with the sound of Hokuto quickly rustling around in his emergency medical supplies. He could feel his own breathing grow more ragged and shallow as a pair of scissors snipped at something.
After that, the strong scent of antiseptic hit his nose before he felt a sharp pain in his arm that was really nothing compared to the other injuries he received. However, it did make his still-delirious mind wonder what on earth Hokuto was doing.
There was no time for him to question Hokuto, however, as his consciousness began to fade into darkness.
Was this it? Was this really how he was going to die; stabbed and then shot by the very person who had hired him to take care of his problem after he’d done exactly as asked? A pitiful way to die, he thought; betrayed by someone who couldn’t even look him in the eyes as he shot him.
It didn’t mean much anymore as he faded out. What did matter to him, was that the last time he was ever going to see Hokuto was with such a scared expression on his handsome face. He only wanted to see him smile, but he supposed that time had run out for him.
With that last, devastating thought crossing his mind, Yuzuru lost consciousness.
~
A nasty headache woke Yuzuru, and for a moment he wondered if he was dead and had ended up in hell. That thought was dashed when he opened his eyes, however.
Above him, Hokuto stared vacantly at the wall, pale and with dark circles shadowing his tired blue eyes. His expression was grim and sad in a way that broke Yuzuru’s heart. It was an expression that Yuzuru hated and wanted to change. He wanted Hokuto to smile.
In those few waking moments where he was too out of it to speak yet, Yuzuru began to notice his surroundings. His head rested in Hokuto’s lap and gently encircling his face, Hokuto’s fingers rubbed gently along his cheek, still red with the blood he had yet to wash away.
Difficult as it was and as much as his hand shook with the effort, Yuzuru reached up slowly and rested his hand on one of Hokuto’s, still staring up at him when his gaze shifted.
“Yuzuru!” The relief on Hokuto’s face and the way in which he spoke his name was enough to make him smile just a fraction.
It was in that moment that he noticed the way Hokuto’s hands trembled against his face and the way his expression crumbled, tears welling up in his beautiful eyes. If Hokuto’s expression before had broken Yuzuru’s heart, the expression he wore now shattered it.
“Don’t look so sad...Hidaka-sama…” Yuzuru whispered, trying to keep the pain out of his voice. “Don’t cry for me.”
“You almost died. I thought…” Hokuto swallowed hard before continuing, “I thought you were going to leave me…”
Yuzuru couldn’t handle the agony that rang with Hokuto’s voice and ever so slowly reached up to wipe away his tears with one finger. “Please don’t cry, Hidaka-sama...I can’t stand seeing you so sad…”
“How can I not, when you almost left me behind?” It was then that Hokuto seemed to break, his normally calm and collected exterior nowhere to be seen. Leaning his face down closer to Yuzuru’s, he began to cry, his warm tears dripping down onto his bloodied face.
Together, Yuzuru and Hokuto had survived so much, and never once had Hokuto broken down like this; not even when their roles had been reversed and it had been Hokuto that was the one dying.
Why was it this that finally broke down Hokuto’s guard? Yuzuru couldn’t puzzle it out, but then again, his mind was still so foggy and the pain was distracting him.
“Hidaka-sama...I would never leave you behind. I would never let death take me from you.” Interesting words for him to say, considering that mere hours ago, he had been certain he was going to die. Still, he meant every single one of the words he spoke.
“You say that like you think you can just keep being reckless and expect to make it out okay every time something like this happens! That’s not how it works! One of these days, you’re going to...to get yourself killed and there’ll be nothing I can do to save you! How can you expect me to not be upset when you keep being so selfish?!” Hokuto’s voice broke and to Yuzuru, it sounded as if his heart were being torn out.
“Hidaka-sama…” Yuzuru didn’t know how to respond to that. He didn’t know how he was being selfish. Incidents like this were always bound to happen in his line of work, and Hokuto had once been a victim to it as well.
This was the only line of work he thought he was meant for; that he was good at.
“Stop calling me that, Yuzuru! You and I are equal to each other! And...and...it’s like...like you’re pushing me away!” Hokuto sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut tight. “It’s like...you’re separating us by...by status and I just...I just want us to...I just want to be close to you! I don’t want you to die! I don’t want you to keep pushing me away!” Hokuto’s breaths came in desperate rasps, muffled by his sobs.
Yuzuru reached up and wiped at Hokuto’s tears with a trembling hand, trying to keep his own tears from falling. His eyes went wide as he registered the implications of his words. Was that a confession? Was it possible, by some miraculous glimmer in the sky, that Hokuto reciprocated his feelings?
“Hokuto…” Yuzuru began slowly.
“I’m not done, Yuzuru! I want you to listen to me!” Hokuto drew in a deep shuddering breath to quell the shaking in his voice. “I want you to know...to know that I love you, and that I can’t lose you.”
Before Hokuto could try to say anything else, Yuzuru slid his hands into his soft hair and pulled him down into as gentle a kiss as he could manage, running one thumb along his cheekbone.
The coppery taste of his own blood grew stronger on his lips until Hokuto pulled away slightly, his breathing shallow. His wide blue eyes stared into Yuzuru’s half-lidded magenta eyes.
“Hokuto.” A soft smile spread across his face as he was unable to hide his joy at Hokuto’s words. “Stop crying. I love you, too. I’ve loved you for so long, and you have no idea...no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that you feel the same…”
Yuzuru winced as he tried to sit up, pain tearing through him and only receding when Hokuto forced him to lie back down.
“Then stop being such an idiot! Especially right now! I don’t have enough blood to be able to give you more if you reopen your wounds again.” Hokuto scolded, keeping his hands firmly planted on Yuzuru’s shoulders until he stopped trying to sit up.
At Hokuto’s words, Yuzuru cast a quick glance around. The bloodied IV tubing and needles lying strewn across the floor confirmed his suspicions. It also explained the pallor of his skin.
“I’m sorry.” Yuzuru whispered, sitting still for him. “I’m sorry I scared you. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Of course. I could never stay mad at you.” Hokuto’s voice lowered slowly when he realized that Yuzuru wasn’t going to try moving again. “Just promise me you’ll call me if this happens again. No, I take that back. Take me with you next time.”
Yuzuru opened his mouth to protest, but a single look from Hokuto quelled the desire to do so. “Fine.” He replied instead. “I promise.”
Hokuto leaned down and sealed the promise with a gentle kiss.
Through thick and thin, they would stick together, even if death came knocking.