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Brian’s used to sneaking out of his room in the middle of the night.
It has become a form of art for him: now he knows in which hours he’s least likely to meet someone from the staff, where he can walk in order to make as little noise as possible, how to stop his breath as he passes through his father’s quarters.
Now that the Invaders are there, though, things are a little bit difficult, but at least he only meets Toro and Bucky on the way and he manages to duck out of their sight before they could notice him.
He’s tempted to ask them what they’re doing out in the manor in the middle of the night, but then they could ask him the same question, and he doesn’t want to reply to that.
Sometimes he’s wanted to ask them if they too are… but he always holds his tongue.
It isn’t his business and he wouldn’t want them to believe that he doesn’t approve.
If they actually are like him and Roger they already have their set of problems, he doesn’t need to add more onto the pile and besides, he doesn’t want to necessarily expose himself.
He arrives at his destination.
He doesn’t even knock – he knows the door is open – and he turns the knob, opening the door making as little noise as possible.
Inside there’s Roger. He was looking out of the window but as soon as he hears steps coming inside he turns towards Brian.
He’s been waiting for him.
There isn’t anything that Brian wants more than to leap in his arms and to kiss him, but he first has to lock the door. No good thing will happen if someone walks on them.
They had to learn patience in order to keep their relationship going without problems, and even if sometimes it’s hard they still haven’t been caught, so that must count for something, right?
Once they’re secured, they’re all over each other in a matter of seconds, pressing their bodies against each other and kissing as if they haven’t kissed in a very long time, which is exactly the case.
Roger’s lips are chapped and not a soft as they once were but Brian couldn’t care less about it. He’s here, he’s alive and he remembers him; this is what matters.
They only pull away to catch their breath, but if they could they would’ve gone on until the sun comes up, when they’ll have to unfortunately part.
- Roger, I… -, Brian tries to say but Roger silences him with a kiss as he starts to unbutton his shirt.
Talking is useless in this kind of situation. They already have little time, they can’t waste it by talking. That can wait.
Despite how familiar they are with each other, for Brian it’s always as overwhelming as the first time. It isn’t bad, just a lot; well, most things with Roger involved could be described as “a lot”.
They make love until they’re too tired to move anymore.
For once they can take it a little slower than most times but it’s difficult to take advantage of it when they’ve gotten used to do things quickly, or else they might get caught by someone.
Brian’s still catching his breath and Roger’s pressing some lazy kisses along his shoulder.
It feels so good that he almost forgets that the next morning, Roger is going to leave again. Almost.
- Do you really have to go? -, he asks, his voice a mere whisper.
Roger looks at him and he sighs. He was expecting Brian to object but he hoped that he would be too tired for wanting to discuss it now.
- Brian… I already told you why I have to -, he replies, hoping that this will be enough.
He feels guilty for what happened, even if in retrospect it wasn’t his fault.
Now he knows how the Germans work though, and he wants to put that to a good use.
He feels that he’ll be more useful to the cause like this, instead of going with The Invaders like Brian.
- I want to help -.
- You can do that by staying with us -, Brian replies, but he already knows he’s not going to change his mind.
Roger has always been kind of a lone wolf, even if this rule doesn’t seem to apply when he’s with Brian. At first it was perplexing, but as time went on and their relationship evolved, it was clear why.
Since they’ve known each other he’s always been a constant presence in Brian’s life, and not having that anymore hurts him more than he would like to admit.
He looks at Roger’s determined eyes and he sighs. It really can’t be helped, eh?
- Just… be careful, ok? -, he says then.
He already lost Roger once, he doesn’t want it to happen again.
A soft smile appears on Roger’s lips and he kisses Brian.
- Of course -, he says once he pulls away, - Contrary to popular belief, I’d like to live -.
His smile becomes a bit more malicious.
- It wouldn’t be fair to deny you of my beautiful presence -.
Brian laughs, maybe a bit too loudly but at the moment he doesn’t notice it.
- Yes, it wouldn’t be fair indeed -, he replies, then he presses a kiss on Roger’s lips as the other pulls him closer again.
He feels a little bit reassured after that. It won’t be enough to completely cancel out his fears, but it’s something.
As long as they both come out of this alive he’s willing to part ways momentarily with Roger. After all they aren’t fighting just for themselves, but for the entire world.
When all of this is over, he and Roger are going to go to a long vacation. Just the two of them.
They deserve it.