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If Debbie had to pinpoint the thing that first drew her to Lou, it would be the way she occupied space. She was so confident and cared so little about what others thought, that every space she stepped into, she owned. The first time Debbie had ever seen Lou was in an Irish Pub in the middle of Salzburg, Austria. Danny had called her half way around the world to help him with a job, and ever desperate of his approval, she’d come running. When she’d walked into the pub, eyes scanning the crowd for her brother, it was Lou that she’d found, seated at a table, legs wide, leaning forward with her elbows on her thighs so that her many necklaces hung low, a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other; nodding along intently to something Danny was telling her. She looked like she belonged right there, even in that strange setting, with her punk rocker outfit and her dozen rings and bracelets. When Danny had waved Debbie over, the blonde had leaned back in her chair, raising her leg so that her right ankle rested on the opposite knee, casually slouching as she brought her cigarette to her lips and took a long drag. When the brunette’s brother had introduced them, Lou had put her beer down on the table, leaning forward to shake Debbie’s hand, smirking slightly, as if she knew that the brunette was intrigued by her, almost daring her to find out more. Within the first ten minutes of sitting across from Lou, Debbie was addicted to occupying the same space as the blonde, and knew she’d do almost anything to stay there.
Debbie always felt so special, being allowed to occupy space with Lou, when they were friends and especially after they became lovers, when the blonde would pull her close she would feel superior to everyone else in the room. Girls would walk past and gawk unabashedly, drawn to Lou’s charisma and men would look on in envy, unable to understand how a woman could have so much power over a room. The brunette would just soak it up, Lou’s tendency to forget about anyone not in her space was contagious, and it often felt like they were the only two people in the room, even in the most crowded of spaces.
It didn’t matter what the environment was either. At parties she created her own private bubble that seemed to draw people in, but at home it was even better. She would sprawl across the bed, tangled in sheets, hair in her eyes and spread across her pillow, making her limbs seem incredibly long. Other times, she could be found seemingly impossibly small, folded into her favourite overstuffed armchair, book in hand, smiling at Debbie, a twinkle in her eye as she looked over the top of her reading glasses.
Claude had never occupied space like Lou. Sure, he took up a lot of space, he stuck his elbows all the way out while he ate and he took up most of the back seat in taxis, but he didn’t own the space, it wasn’t his, he was stealing it from other people in an attempt to seem more important. Where Lou was a breath of fresh air, a cool breeze on a summer’s day, Claude’s presence was suffocating, he sucked up all the air in a room. When Debbie had gone to prison, it had been almost a relief, she could finally breath again, but she always felt herself longing for Lou, longing to occupy space with her again.
Now, as they sat across from each other, the Touissant heist done and dusted, Debbie found herself waiting for Lou to invite her into the bubble. Their six friends sat around the loft space, drinking, listening to music, celebrating, but Lou was quiet. The brunette bit her lip, worried. She’d gone too far, leaving Lou for Claude, there was too much water under the bridge now, she had been invited into Lou’s space and she’d ruined her chance. She would never truly feel comfortable in the world again and she knew it. Next to Lou, that was where she was supposed to be, that was her home, and she’d turned her back on it and she feared there was no going back. The blonde slowly lifted a beer bottle to her lips, her eyes meeting Debbie’s. She smiled, a warm smile, one that crinkled at the eyes, one that was reserved only for the brunette. The Australian woman leaned forward, arms resting on her thighs, necklaces swinging forward, just like the very first time she’d laid eyes on her.
“You know what jailbird? I think I’ve wasted enough time being angry.” She grabbed Debbie’s hand and pulled her forward, motioning for the brunette to climb on her lap, just like the old days. Maybe it didn’t solve anything, and maybe tomorrow everything would go back to how it was, but for now Debbie was back occupying space with Lou, and it was the best feeling in the world.