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Bakugou wonders whether it was the right choice – to turn around and walk away when he told Todoroki that he loved him.
He remembers that day, too vividly, in fact. He remembers how the cherry blossom petals were falling like snow on their graduation day. He remembers how the cool breeze was playing with his hair. He remembers the people, his classmates, his friends’ smiles and elation that they were already UA graduates – just one more step to becoming professional heroes.
He remembers seeing Deku and Todoroki on one corner. Smiles too bright for each other, body too close for comfort. Hands about to touch, faces just a breadth away.
He also remembers how Todoroki noticed him that day, meters behind Deku, and how Todoroki looked as cherry blossom petals were falling and some staying at his hair. He remembers how his expression changed when he saw Bakugou. So different than his expression when it was with Deku.
He told Todoroki to come with him, because he had something to say. And Todoroki, although doubtful, chose to still go with him, to listen to what he had to say. That was the time he told Todoroki how he loved him – ever since the day they started sparring together, ever since he would visit Bakugou’s room to ask if he was alright, to the provisional license exam.
To the day when he realized that he did and he wanted to stop it, but realized that he can’t. But that was the time when it was too late.
He couldn’t describe Todoroki’s expression when he looked up and told him that. Was he angry? Disgusted? Indifferent?
Todoroki didn’t say anything. Just looked at him with his wide heterochromatic eyes, and Bakugou wondered whether it was right to tell him he loved him.
“Katsu –” Todoroki started, with a shaking voice, and he was about to reach out to him. But Bakugou stopped him.
“No.” I don’t deserve it. After all the things I did to make you hate me. You probably really hate me now. “I just came to tell you not to let you feel guilty about it. I just wanted to let it all out on my chest, because, hey, we already graduated.”
Todoroki still doesn’t reply.
There were so many things Bakugou wanted to say. But he chose to open his mouth one last time to say what he had kept all this time aside from his love for the boy. “And I’m sorry – you know, for pushing you away.”
“So, I guess this is good bye then.” And then Bakugou turned around.
Started walking away.
Bakugou realizes now that the look on Todoroki’s face that time was that of anguish. He laughs bitterly.
Maybe if he didn’t say anything, he wouldn’t have to go away.
Maybe if he just bottled it all up and just moved on from seeing Deku and Todoroki that time, then everything would still be okay now.
Maybe if his stupid heart just didn’t decide things on its own and fall in love with the Half-n-Half, then he could have spared himself the trouble of hurting.
Maybe if the two of them didn’t meet each other, Bakugou wouldn’t fall in love.
But you can’t choose anything when your heart’s already decided on its own, right?
The cheering sounds from the TV snaps Bakugou out of his stupor, and once again he sees Todoroki's face on screen.
Apparently, they won the fight. The villains have been captured, and now the reporters are gathering information from the heroes that made it possible: Uravity, Ingenium, Deku, and Shouto. All of them have big smiles on their faces.
God, he's smiling. He looks so happy. Bakugou can't help but smile as well.
But then he sees how Shouto looks at Deku, and how Deku looks back at him, and his smile falters. They look at each other like they're the only people in the world, like they don't care about it, in fact. Just the two of them. And Bakugou can't help but close his eyes and imagine:
What if it was him? Would it make Shouto smile at him like that?
Would it make Shouto look at him like he's the only one in the world?
Ahh, what impossible imaginations. And as Bakugou opens his eyes again, he instead chooses to focus on Shouto's features. For one, the scar on his face is still there, but it doesn't make him any less beautiful. His hair's shorter now, but not too short to make his scar too visible. He seems to have gotten taller, because Deku's now on his shoulder's height.
God, Deku and Shouto. Bakugou wonders when they will announce their relationship to the world, because by the way they're acting, it seems it won't be for long.
Well, Bakugou has had his chance, although he has never really reached it yet. But maybe this is life's way of saying he doesn't stand a chance for shit like that.
As he sees Shouto - no, Todoroki smile once again, he decides maybe it has been the right choice - to turn around and walk away when he told Todoroki that he loved him.
Because in the end, as much as it hurt to admit, he wouldn't even really have stood a chance - against Deku, of all people.
As Bakugou turns off the television, the smile can't help but be back on his face.
Yes, Todoroki was beautiful. And he still is.