Chapter Text
Midoriya Izuku hated watching the sunrise.
When he was young; full of excitement and anticipation for the day to come, sunrise would be a heaven-sent thing. It meant that he could finally get up and begin his day. Days with his mother were the best; just the two of them doing whatever, running around town and picking up errands. Izuku was always happiest when his mother was with him.
However, as he grew older sunrises became less of an anticipation and more of a sense of dread for what was to come. He became too old to spend his days in his mother’s arms, forced out into the big wild world to tackle the adventure known as his education. Like most children, Izuku was at first excited with the idea of attending school. Him and his childhood friend Kacchan; defeating bad guys and rescuing princesses from castles.
Only, Kacchan deemed Izuku unworthy of standing by his side. Useless in defeating the bad guys, and destined to be the princess perched up in the castle; helpless. But Izuku didn’t want to be a damsel in distress, he wanted to be a hero. Yet no matter how hard Izuku tried, he could not budge the unmovable force that was his friend.
Kacchan started to call him Deku, and Izuku tried to laugh it off with a smile. Tried to prove Kacchan wrong, tried to show him that it didn’t hurt when he called him names or pushed him down. And it didn’t really, Kacchan didn’t mean to hurt Izuku. He was only trying to help his friend, that’s all.
His mother disagreed, but that was okay. Despite the fact that Midoriya Inko didn’t understand Izuku friendship with Kacchan, he still loved his mother all the same. He continued to follow Kacchan, determined to prove to his friend that he was worthy of standing beside him.
For a little while, Izuku truly did believe he would be able to stand on equal footing with his friend once more. But then his sixth birthday came around and with it came no signs of a Quirk manifesting despite how long he had been waiting. His mother took him to a nice doctor, who ran him through all these funny tests and gave him a lollipop at the end. Izuku wasn’t worried, he knew he was just a late bloomer and that his Quirk would come soon enough.
He knew he would go back to loving sunsets; he only had to wait.
The tests came back negative and Izuku was classified as Quirkless throughout the records. His mother hugged him as he cried, staring at the footage of All Might smiling playing on a loop in the background.
“I’m… I’m so sorry, Izuku.” But Izuku didn’t understand, what did his mother have to be sorry about? It’s not her fault he’s like this, it’s not her fault he’s a Deku. “I will always love you no matter what, remember that.”
“Quirkless? You’re even more useless than I thought, Deku!”
Kacchan pushes turned to punches and light scrapes on his knees turned to burns down his back. Izuku grew to dislike going to school, but never stopped attending. His mother worked hard to provide him with an education, and so Izuku grew his skin thicker and powered through.
He still never gave up hope.
A useless Deku he may be, but a hero he would become. Kacchan would have to watch him, but by his side, as friends that no longer feared the sunrise. He worked harder than ever before, trained in the mornings and studied in the nights. He still couldn’t bring himself to watch the sunrise; not yet.
That was for him and Kacchan, for him and his mother. Watching the sunrise for heroes, not Dekus.
“A hero? You!? Don’t make fun of my dream like that, Deku! You will never be a hero, you’re useless! You’re nothing compared to me!”
It grew harder to ignore Kacchan’s words, harder to brush off the bruises like they were nothing. Each time Izuku pushed forward, Kacchan pushed him three steps back. But it was fine, Kacchan was just helping him, that’s all. In his own, special little way. All Izuku would have to do was keep on trying, and he’d be allowed to watch the sunrise again.
Right?
Izuku entered Middle School, and the months fell off the calendar faster than usual. His mother came home a lot less frequently, but that was for the best. Izuku didn’t want to worry her when he came staggering through the front door, his spirit broken and his body bleeding. He trained all night and hid away from the sunrise in the morning.
Middle School brought harsher hits, longer training, and more people at his door. His mother would never let him see them, and the conversations between them never lasted more than a few minutes. Sometimes there would be yelling, other times they spoke with hushed but threatening promises. His mother always came back smiling, but Izuku watched her scribble away at her desk in the early hours of the morning; stifling the tears that threatened to fall.
Izuku knew he had to hurry up and graduate; he had to hurry up and become his mother’s hero. Izuku slept less and studied more, he ran errands around the town for any spare change and always did his best to save his coins. He rarely saw his mother anymore, merely the emotionally exhausted ghost of what was left of her. Always either sleeping her free time away or burying herself in her work. Despite all her extra shifts, food was always on the table or in the fridge for him when he got home, and he never went hungry.
Aunty Mitsuki stopped visiting; Kacchan too. Now, the only time Izuku saw his childhood friend was between classes when he cornered him by the lockers for staring at him during class. Izuku couldn’t help it, he desperately yearned for some sort of companionship; for anything. He never saw his mother, and even Kacchan began to ignore him. Izuku’s hours were filled with training and study, that he didn’t even have time to fear the sunrise anymore.
He was starting to think he would never be able to enjoy the sunrise again.
His mother would skip meals, she thinks he doesn’t notice but Izuku does. He doesn’t bring it up in fear that her smile would break alongside her heart. He simply slides his food over, complaining of a stomach ache and encourages her to finish the rest. Izuku barely makes it back to his room before his mother starts to cry.
The other kids make fun of him for his empty lunchbox and hand-me-down clothes, but Kacchan says nothing. He doesn’t even look at Izuku anymore, and Izuku thinks it hurts worse than any burn. His mother breaks down, sobbing out apology after apology, and Izuku is able to see just how broken his mother has become.
He starts to think of ways to ease the burden off of her. A classmate cruelly suggests suicide, but Izuku could never bring his mother such grief. Another kid steps up at the shocking statement, an argument breaks out, but Izuku is already worlds away. Kacchan doesn’t even look up from his desk.
Izuku comes home from a particularly bad day; the house is empty and his bed is cold. Izuku leans against his bedroom wall and stares at the bag in front of him; filled with the necessary essentials to survive out in the big bad world. He contemplates, cries and then pushes it under his bed. Out of sight, but not forgotten.
Izuku investigates places where he can sleep for the night and other forms of shelter that would keep him warm during a particularly bad storm. He searches for shelters and charities, noting each and everything down. Izuku always returns back before the sun rises.
He knows now that he doesn’t deserve to enjoy another sunrise. That a life in the night is what he deserves for what he’s done to his mother.
Kacchan finally speaks to Izuku for the first time in four months. It’s the end Izuku’s second year and he was stuffing his books into his bag when the bell rang. Preparing to go home, Izuku climbed to his feet after everyone had left the class. Everyone except Kacchan. He approaches Izuku, visibly hesitant and strangely nervous. It’s an odd look on him, and Izuku can’t decide if he likes it or not. Even after all these years, Izuku could never find it in himself to hate Kacchan. Kacchan was his childhood friend; the one he used to watch sunrises with.
Kacchan doesn’t look him in the eyes as he speaks, grunting out his disdain in having to do this. “The old hag wants to invite you and your mom over.” Kacchan fiddles with the strap of his bag, “For dinner or some shit.”
Bakugou Mitsuki was a high school friend of Midoriya Inko and someone who had long since drifted away from her. Izuku can’t quite understand why Mitsuki would want to include them back in their lives, but then it clicks. Mitsuki wants his mother back; she wants her friend back. For a moment, Izuku is happy.
Could this be it? Could he finally be allowed to watch the sun rise again? Was this beginning of his and Kacchan’s second attempt at friendship? But as soon as the thought came, it was banished. Because Izuku didn’t deserve that anymore. He didn’t deserve to watch sunrises or stand beside Kacchan. He didn’t deserve to go to Mitsuki’s and be a part of her family again. Not after all the suffering, he put his mother through, not after all the damage that had been done.
Izuku agrees to Kacchan’s request with a smile, returns to his empty home and leaves a note for his mother explaining Mitsuki’s request. He adds that he’ll be absent due to the flu, before rushing into his room and retrieving the bag hidden under his bed.
Izuku is thirteen when he leaves home.
He knows his mother will be upset, but he hopes she’ll soon come to move on with her life. Izuku was but a burden to his mother, and the reason she lost her friendship with Mitsuki. It was Izuku’s uselessness that caused the rift between the two families, and now that Inko had her second chance Izuku was not going to let her waste it on him.
Izuku took the bare minimum to survive without denting his mother’s supplies for the week too much, knowing she’ll likely be too distraught to do anything else. Izuku likes to hope that his mother will understand how he reached this decision, and accept it. But that would be asking too much.
He takes to the streets with a vague idea of where he was going and barely enough supplies to make it through the long journey he was about to embark on.
Setsuno Toya was on his way back from a mission when he pulled into a convenience store. His stomach had rumbled the whole operation, and Nemoto had complained of the noise much to Rappa’s amusement. The three rarely worked on missions together and the whole ordeal was rather exhausting by the end. So much so that Nemoto stormed off after they had completed the mission, Rappa practically vanished into thin air and Setsuno was left on his own.
He didn’t mind, enjoying the silence as he made his way over to the store. Most of the other Expendables ate at the Manor but Setsuno couldn’t stand the chefs cooking, preferring to eat cheap microwave dinners. They gave him an odd feeling of familiarity, reminding him of a time long passed, and so he continued to indulge himself.
The bell rang out as he exited the store, stepping out into the cool night with a sigh. His mask was tucked away into his jacket, allowing the cool air to brush against his face and thread through his light hair. Slightly dishevelled, Setsuno made his way down the street, heading straight for the backstreets lest he is recognised.
He could have had someone pick him up, but Setsuno preferred to walk the streets alone. Stopping ever so often to admire a certain tree or flower, attempting to find any sort of beauty in his dim life. Setsuno had almost reached the park when he heard a loud clatter. His head shot back, eyes locking on the pile of trash that had just been knocked off. Mice scurried away, and Setsuno narrowed his eyes to see a small figure picking itself up from the pile of garbage.
It was a boy.
Setsuno could barely make out his mass of knotted green curls in the dark but recognised the ruined All Might hoodie. The boy is roughed up a bit, but alive. Starved, but content. His green eyes met his and he smiled lightly, a sort of apology for surprising Setsuno. Despite the fact that the boy looks about ready to just keel over and die, there is a sort of look in his eyes. Like the boy hasn’t quite given up yet, like he’s still searching for something.
It reminds Setsuno of his younger self. Only he had given up searching, a long, long time ago. Homeless people are not rare in the area they’re in, although children are more so. There had to be a reason no one had taken the boy in, whether it had been the boy’s choice or otherwise. In the end, it’s enough to stir something up inside of Setsuno, and he reaches into his bag.
He throws the boy a wrapped sandwich he had bought for later. It bounced along the ground before stopping at the boy’s feet, he stared at it for a moment before looking to Setsuno for confirmation. But Setsuno was already walking away, pulling out his phone to text someone for a pickup; the rest of his nightly walk lost on him. He vaguely hears the boy scurry to pick up the sandwich before he disappears around the corner.
Setsuno runs into the boy again, not even a week late. This time the boy is a little worse for wear, hunched over a trash can and hacking out his guts. There are fresh bruises painting his face, and his All Might hoodie had been abandoned in the heat. Setsuno says nothing as he walks over to him, pulling out the water bottle he had just bought and placed it down next to him. He leaves without saying a word.
The seventh time Setsuno meets the boy it has almost become instinct by the point. He has the bag at the ready, filled with a few sandwiches and enough water to get the boy by. Setsuno hands it over with practised care, and the boy takes it without the hesitance he had in the beginning. The boy looks pleased to see him, smiling with far too many teeth as he mutters his thanks. Setsuno pats his head without thinking, quickly running off before either can comment on it.
The twelfth time Setsuno comes the boy is doing far worse. He presses himself against the brick wall, shivering into his All Might hoodie for warmth. The markings around the boy’s neck are worse, and something shifts in Setsuno. The boy stares up at him, and for the first time since they first met; the boy is scared.
He reacts on instinct. There is kicking and screaming, but Setsuno does not let go. Holding the boy down by his shoulders as he speaks to keep him from hurting himself further, whispering in a comforting voice to focus on his breathing. Setsuno is good at these kinds of things, after all, he’s had to do it himself a thousand times. Up close, Setsuno notices the freckles across the boy’s face that act like stars in the night sky.
When the boy opens his eyes again, he is so relieved to see Setsuno. Sobbing ecstatically that he was not someone else, before collapsing with an exhausted smile. Setsuno decides it can go no further. He slips off his coat and wraps it around the boy for extra warmth, crouching down low to whisper to him.
“I’ll be back. Wait for me.”
Setsuno doesn’t bother going to the Boss, heading straight to the next best thing. Chronstasis is hard to convince, but Setsuno manages to wear the man down with the promise of obedience. Chronstasis also makes him swear to keep the boy away from the Boss, but that’s okay because Setsuno would never dream of such a thing. He heads back to the boy’s corner, bottled water and sandwich at the ready as he arrives for the thirteenth and hopefully final time.
The boy is not there.
Setsuno doesn’t accompany Rappa on their next mission. Instead, he goes looking for the boy, fear gripping his heart in a vice despite the limited amount of time he knew the boy. Setsuno couldn’t help but see himself in the boy and refused to fail him.
Less than twelve hours had passed before Setsuno found the boy again. The fourteenth time they met, it was the early hours of the morning and the sun had yet to come up. The boy was laying on a park bench, wrapped up in Setsuno’s jacket. He approached the boy carefully, announcing himself before he made any move to touch him. The boy seized up, burying his head into the collar of the jacket as he stifled a sob.
Setsuno had worked in the business long enough to have an idea of what had occurred in his absence. He pushed aside the thought, for now, kneeling down to place a comforting hand on the boy’s head. He flinched, tensing up for a few seconds before relaxing into the touch.
“My name is Setsuno Toya,” He spoke softly. “Do you remember me?”
Setsuno couldn’t see the boy’s face, but he felt the slight rustling of the cloth as he nodded into the jacket. The movement was small, but Setsuno still smiled.
“I want to help you,” Setsuno told him with more conviction than he thought he ever had. “Will you let me help you?”
The boy said nothing. He did not move, stuck frozen in position as he let out a shaky breath outwards. Setsuno began lightly petting the boy’s hair, ignoring the dirt and grease that clung to his fingers and the distaste it brought him.
“I should have come sooner, I’m sorry.” He was genuine, and he knew the boy could tell. “I want to take you somewhere safe. To a big manor, sort of like a castle.” Setsuno wasn’t the most experienced of the Expendables in interacting with children, especially ones that are victims of trauma.
He noticed that the boy shifted slightly at the mention of castles, and continued. “You know what a castle is, right? It’s where princesses and princes live.”
The boy flinched violently and Setsuno back peddled. “You don’t have to be a prince or a princess though, you could be a knight or a chef!” He was rambling now, and he knew it.
But the boy seemed to relax again, peeking up from behind the collar to meet his eyes. Setsuno offered him a smile. “Do you have something I can call you? It doesn’t have to be your name if you choose.”
Silence fell between the two, and minutes past with nothing being said. Setsuno was about to give up on the quest for a name before a small voice spoke up.
“…Deku.”
“Deku? Alright then, Deku. Will you let me help you?” Setsuno smiled and Deku poked his head out, revealing the bags around his eyes and the tear tracks down his cheeks. He nodded softly, a small movement that caused Setsuno’s smile to widen.
He quickly handed out a bottle of water and a sandwich that he had carried around on his person in case he found him. Deku began to eagerly devour the sandwich, occasionally stopping to take a sip of water. Setsuno settled in beside him on the bench, watching the sky begin to lighten with content.
“Look, Deku. The suns coming up.”
Deku looked up to see the sun beginning to rise, and Setsuno said nothing when Deku started to cry. The pair sat in silence, with Setsuno softly patting Deku's hair, comforting him.