Obvious + Oblivious

by ExceedinglyRegular (DrakeRamorayIII)

Summary:

Andrew isn't subtle. At least, he doesn't think so. Which is why he is so surprised that nobody saw this coming.

or, the one where Andrew comes out as bi and shocks everyone (and then some).

Chapter 1: Obvious

Part 1 - Obvious

Andrew isn't subtle. At least, he doesn't think so. Which is why he is so surprised that nobody saw this coming.

One time at a bar, Ryan had asked him if he 'drinks it straight' ('it' being whiskey). Andrew replies that he 'doesn't mind either way'.

Another time, while walking from one location to the next while filming Worth It, Steven whined about how Andrew kept swinging his umbrella his way. Andrew semi-jokingly explained to the crew that while he could 'swing both ways', he really liked 'swinging at Steven'.

Apparently, nobody got the hint.

Then there's that time where Niki pointed out that Andrew always cuffs his pants. Andrew told her point blank that it was 'bi culture' but she thought he was kidding and laughed it off. In her defense, he wasn't completely serious.

And that time at lunch when Andrew complained out loud about how people just assume everyone is straight without even asking. Jen for real said to him that he was 'a good ally' for 'standing up for what is right'. Ironic.

Okay, maybe he was kinda ambiguous with that one.

Still, Andrew never really hid his sexuality. He never did quite announce it to the world either but did he really need to? It's not exactly a huge deal, but here he is anyway because people are that dense.

It was tough deciding the best medium to broadcast this but he decided that Instagram should work well enough. He asked Shane to teach him how to use IGTV, and got laughed at, but Shane walked him through it anyway.

Andrew wrote out a rough outline on what he wanted to say, so as not to look like a compete fool, but the video was otherwise unscripted.

His phone immediately started blowing up a mere minute after he hit 'post'. And he even didn't have any other social media like Twitter or whatever. As a matter of fact, he turned off most of the notifications from Instagram as well. So this was all from messages alone.

The messages are all either congratulatory or surprised or both... but mostly surprised. Is it really that shocking?

One notable message comes from Adam, it's simply a screenshot of a tweet saying: 'ANDREW ILNYCKYJ IS A BICON!!!!! THAT IS ALL!!!'. It had a little over five thousand retweets at the point of capture. Andrew can't imagine where it stands now. Also, he had to google what 'bicon' meant but he's just gonna keep that to himself.

Right now it's been over fifteen minutes and the messages are still rolling in, mainly from the group chats. Andrew simply groans as he watch the number on his home screen climb, he's starting to feel the regret crawling. If this is how they react in a virtual space, he doesn't want to even think about what they're gonna do in real life.

Andrew shoots back a simple 'you guys are just oblivious' to shut them up, but it's like trying to put out a fire with gasoline. The rate of incoming messages increases tenfold and his phone actually freezes up, preventing him from doing anything else. Setting his phone on his bedside table, Andrew calls it a day and prepares to hit the sack, though he thinks it's unlikely he will get even a wink of sleep.

Going back to work tomorrow will be an experience to remember.

Chapter 2: Oblivious

Part 2 - Oblivious

Not everyone messaged Andrew when his 'coming out' video went up. For instance, his boyfriend did not. But that's to be expected, Steven already knew. He didn't even bring it up in their morning text and everything was perfectly normal...

...until he did.

"You're WHAT?!" are the first words to leave Steven's mouth. His eyes are the size of dinner plates and he's gaping like a fish. Andrew's confused for a moment. Then he gets it. Oh, he's doing a bit.

Steven's not exactly a world-class comedian but Andrew has to admit, this did manage to make him crack a smile. He navigates around his boyfriend to get to the unoccupied part of his desk.

"Good morning to you too," Andrew replies, non sequitur, a light chuckle following. He sets his coffee down on his table, next to where Steven has so rudely planted his butt. He looks over at Steven and then they're locked in some sort of awkward staring contest. Andrew breaks eye contact first, to get his laptop out of his bag.

"You're bi?" Andrew quirks an eyebrow up at the question but doesn't look up. If Steven's still doing his bit, it's kinda lost its novelty already.

"Is there a problem...?" The previously breezy morning air has gone still. If there really is a problem, Andrew's not prepared to deal with it. He was so caught up with everyone else, he completely forgot to account for whatever possible issues Steven might have.

"No! It's just I- I can't believe you're bi. You just don't seem like the type to.... um..." Steven trails off. When Andrew looks at him, he looks away, biting his lower lip. There's a ghost of an uncomfortable blush forming on Steven's cheeks and it says everything. Suddenly it all clicks into place.

No fucking way... Andrew's mood plummets so quickly, there's a crater the size of a small town where it hit the ground.

"I'm not going to be running around on you just because-" He can't believe he's having this conversation. What fucking year is it already? And of all people to think that way... It actually hurts. "That's a horrible stereotype."

Steven's head quickly snaps up, his face is unreadable but Andrew's already glowering, silently daring him to say something stupid.

"What the actual fu-" Steven actually brings his hand up to wipe his mouth, as if almost dropping the f-bomb left a mark on his lips. "...hell are you talking about?"

How plain does Andrew have to word it?

"Being bi doesn't make me a cheater. I would never cheat on you, Steven." His voice and expression is softer now. As much as he hates the topic at hand, Andrew can't bring himself to direct his frustration at Steven. It just isn't right.

"Cheat on me? What- We're not dating?"

And... the anger's back

Andrew slides his laptop across the table towards where it normally sits. When the sides of it harshly jab against Steven's ass, he jumps up with a yelp. Steven appears affronted but Andrew doesn't care. The two men glare intently at each other, completely absorbed into their quarrel. If they had gathered an audience, neither notices.

"Okay, wow. Now you're just going to pretend out entire relationship didn't happen?!" Andrew spits out, with as much rage as he can manage without raising his voice.

"What relationship?! Since when did we- I- WHAT?!"

If Steven's trying to get a rise out of him, he fucking succeeded. Andrew doesn't care if he's playing into Steven's stupid little game, he needs to get it out of his system.

"Are you serious right now? You asked me out on a date!" Andrew speaks through gritted teeth, his jaw clenched tight. His facial muscles are starting to ache from exerting so much force. "You brought me to Cut! The last few months we were... we were-"

The heat in Steven's eyes dissipates immediately, replaced with a look of recognition. Recognition that something's gone horribly wrong. When Steven says his next words, they are so quiet that they are almost lost to the sound of Andrew's breathing.

"That wasn't- That doesn't mean-"

Suddenly, it's like there's a field of static blanketing Andrew's mind. The walls surrounding them are retreating and Andrew feels the smallest he has ever been made to feel. This. Cannot. Be. Real.

There is no way Steven is serious right now. That night. That fucking night was one to remember.

After the meal, while they were waiting for their Uber to arrive. Andrew had his back against a pillar and Steven was leaning against him, head on his shoulder, playing with the end of Andrew's tie. They were slightly tipsy but not enough to be completely out of their minds. At least, that's what Andrew thought. Steven had said to him... Steven had told him...

"You told me you love me..." Andrew's voice is impossibly small and it's completely possible that Steven didn't hear him, but the slight raise of his brows makes it abundantly clear he did. Then the darkest thought crosses Andrew's mind. Steven said it as a joke. He said it as a joke. It was just a joke... Of course it was. Why wouldn't it be? "Oh my god..."

"Andrew..." Steven's arms are reaching out to him but Andrew's already gone mentally, and seconds later, he's going gone physically.

"I'm sorry," Andrew says as he turn around to run away.

Steven didn't mean it. He didn't mean it. He didn't mean it. He didn't FUCKING mean it. Of course he didn't mean it.

Andrew doesn't know how he could've made that mistake. But Steven didn't help matters either when he continued to take him out on dates (or not-dates as Andrew realizes now). He can't believe he was stupid enough to think that going out a few times meant they were dating, now this is what he gets. He did this to himself.

Before it even registers in his mind where he is going, Andrew finds himself already locked away in an accessible washroom. He's curled up into a ball in the corner of the room, and against his will, he's hyperventilating. The stale air rushing in and out of his lungs is drying his mouth little by little. His arms tense up and pulls his legs closer to his chest, further crushing his ribs that already won't stop moving due to his rapid breathing. There are black spots forming in his vision and Andrew thinks he might just pass out. He feels lightheaded and thinks maybe his body is swaying side to side, or maybe it's just the room. He presses his eyelids shut and tries holding his breath for a few seconds at a time but his mouth won't stay shut.

Damn it. DAMN IT! FUCK!!

This isn't supposed to happen. He thought the worst part was already over when he hit the 'post' button last night. He wasn't supposed to lose Steven overnight like that. Why did he have to interpret their entire relationship wrong? Why did he? Why did he?! Why can't he just think like a normal person? It wasn't a date, none of those were dates! They weren't dating and now they never will! They never even kissed and Andrew had thought that maybe Steven wasn't ready for it, so he didn't push for anything. But turns out it was all just a stupid delusion on Andrew's part. Why is he so stupid?

In the time it took Andrew's mind to spiral down to rock bottom, his breathing had managed to return a more normal pace. But he's left worn out and tired and aching. He's also all cried out, his face is somewhat sticky and clammy from all the tears. His body is sweaty and stinky. Andrew stretches his legs out and... there are two giant wet patches on his pants at the knee areas where his face was pressed against earlier (along with a few tiny ones higher up where his chest had touched). It looks so dumb. He looks so dumb.

He feels so dumb.

There's two sharp knocks on the door and Andrew jolts up. He listens out for any voices but several seconds pass without anything. Maybe it's just someone who needs to use the washroom, and he's the asshole hogging it, taking his own sweet time. But right before he's about to stand up, the voice he was anticipating finally speaks but it's not what he wanted to hear.

"Andrew?"

Oh shit, Steven's here. What's he supposed to do? Andrew barely has any idea how to face anyone else, how is he going to deal with the one person he wants so desperately to avoid.

"GO AWAY!" Andrew shouts before he can process any more thoughts. Shit, now Steven knows for sure he's in here. If he had kept his mouth shut, he could pretend that maybe he's someone else. Too late now. Much like his stupid 'coming out' video, there's no taking this back.

"Andrew, I... I'm sorry. I messed up."

For the second time today, Andrew's brain short-circuits. He doesn't know what he expected Steven to say, but that wasn't it. Maybe he's just apologizing for not drawing the line clearly. Maybe it's too early for Andrew to be getting his hopes up.

"I do love you, Andrew. I have for so long I... I didn't realize you had any feelings for me. I thought maybe you only tolerated me because you had to." There's a short pause for breath. "I never meant to mislead you. I just-"

...and there's the third shock to his system. Steven didn't realize...? After so much time they spent together? After this many seasons of Worth It? Andrew thought he had put his feelings out very plainly. He thought that everyone around them, and possibly everyone in the WORLD, had picked up on it. Was the error on Andrew's side? Or Steven's? Unclear. But that's not the point.

Wait shit, Steven loves him? It's not like he hasn't heard those words before. Andrew already did his share of freaking out the very first time Steven said it (only once he was finally alone though). But after everything that his mind had been digging through for the last hour (hours?), those words sound brand new.

It's also a wake-up slap to the face.

"I've been working up the courage to ask you out for... ever. When I saw your video, I came up with this entire... thing. I already planned out what I was going to say to you this morning but when I saw you, I started freaking out and... and then you threw this- this... curveball."

Andrew's already standing at the door, his heart is pounding in his chest. But this time, it's for a good reason. His hand is hovering over the lock, he's ready to burst through the door any moment now... once he's ready of course. He's not ready, nope. Not yet. Every muscle in his body is tensed up, and every inch of his t-shirt is dripping in sweat.

"I was... I just couldn't believe we are... or were dating. I got scared and confused and... it came out all wrong, I'm sorry."

Why did he have to sound so vulnerable saying that? Even through the thick wooden door, Andrew can feel every emotion radiating off of Steven. It's got a 'kicked puppy drenched in rainwater lying in the middle of the road during a thunderstorm' kind of feel and Andrew fucking hates it. He hates it when Steven's like this, it's just wrong. The few times he'd seen it, Andrew had immediately moved in to comfort him. This time will be no different.

"I'm so stupid."

Okay, that's it! Whether the rest of Andrew's ready or not, he's going to bust through that door and set Steven back on the right course. He does exactly so and finds Steven standing in the middle of the hall, with his head down and shoulders slumped.

"You're not stupid."

Steven looks up fast enough to give other people whiplash. His jaw is slack, and he looks like a frazzled animal caught in the headlights. Not unlike how he had looked the first thing this morning. Steven slowly reaches forward as if to pull Andrew into a hug but reels back suddenly. He looks unsure. He's holding himself back. Andrew sighs, if he wasn't so in love with this man, he could almost be annoyed.

Andrew wraps his arms around Steven and drags the taller man into an embrace. His damp chest and t-shirt presses tight against Steven's bone dry hoodie and frankly, it's a little disgusting. But Steven doesn't seem to mind as he's burying his face in the crook of Andrew's neck, his warm breath tingles the glistened skin there.

"If you're stupid, then I'm worse."

Steven merely hums in response, it's hard to tell if he's agreeing or dismissing the statement but either is fine with Andrew. When the two finally pull apart, their clothes cling together for a bit before separating and Andrew can't help but grimace at how unsanitary it is. Again, Steven didn't seem to mind, he may not even have noticed.

"Sorry about the sweat."

There's no answer as Steven is still just standing there dumbly, so Andrew takes it upon himself to get the ball rolling.

"I'm not mad... not anymore." Andrew takes Steven's hands in his own. This action garners no reaction from Steven either. "I love you, Steven, but we are both very bad at this whole communicating thing. Let's do better from now on, okay?"

Finally, Steven nods. It's not much but it is enough for Andrew. There's still a layer of tension surrounding them, it's not quite as thick and suffocating as before but they absolutely can do without it. Andrew decides to crack a little joke to lighten the mood.

"Here's something I don't understand: you could say 'I love you' but couldn't ask me to be your boyfriend? How does that work? Most people have the reverse problem."

A deep blush slowly finds its way to Steven's cheek and he ducks his head down and looks away but doesn't let go of Andrew's hands. A moment passes without him saying anything and Andrew thinks he might have embarrassed him into silence.

"I... I kinda just blurted it out by accident. NOT- Not that I didn't mean it. I- I... I mean I hand't- uh... I wasn't PLAN-ning-"

Andrew laughs and it feels heavenly. Steven's going off again. When he's quiet, he's mostly completely silent, but when he starts talking, he rambles. This boy is really something else. Andrew lightly squeezes Steven's hands with his own and that gets him to shut up.

"I get it, Steven. I understand. Don't worry."

Steven smiles a shy little smile and things are feeling right again. They're just two normal idiots standing in the middle of the hallway holding hands, looking fondly at each other. It's fortunate that nobody is around to witness it.

"So... will you... be my boyfriend?" Steven has such an earnest look on his face that Andrew doesn't want to groan at his stupid question, but he does so anyway.

"Is the answer not obvious enough?"

Steven takes a step closer and Andrew feels his heart rate pick up. The taller man takes both their hands and brings them up to his chest, still clutching on tightly. Seems like Andrew's not the only one with a racing heart.

"It is. I just... want to hear you say it."

It's a stupid request. Andrew knows he can easily turn it down and everything will still be alright, but he would much rather humor his boyfriend.

"Yes, Steven. I would like to be your boyfriend," Andrew says in the most monotonous voice he has in his arsenal. He expected Steven to laugh but instead, he is smiling widely like he's just been given the world. Maybe he does feel that way. Andrew's heart is doing backflips at the thought.

"Can I... kiss you?"

More backflips. Again, stupid request but Andrew just can't say no to this man. Since Steven's dumbly waiting for a verbal confirmation, Andrew is forced to tiptoe to reach his lips. Their balance is thrown a little but Steven's holding on to Andrew's hands like they're a lifeline. He anchors the both of them and brings back stability in all senses of the word.

The kiss is short but it said everything their words couldn't. Soft lips find each other and moved in harmony, like the gentle push and pull of the ocean waves on the beach. It's calming and dissolves all the chaotic energy that has been festering since the morning. When they part, the look on Steven's face is one that Andrew swears he's seen before. It closely resembles the one that he sees every time they meet up right before filming. And, oh. Andrew realizes Steven's been in love with him for a very long time.

"You didn't answer me." Okay, this time he's just being a little shit.

Andrew simply kisses him again.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of Just Add Love