Work Text:
"Say hi to me next time, okay?"
♫
“ Not bad, right? Told you it’s gonna be fun.” Sanghyuk bumped his shoulder to Hongbin. His hand was holding a skewer he used to pick rice cakes. “And we get to eat as much as we want.”
Hongbin hated to admit it, but Sanghyuk was right. Selling rice cakes wasn’t as embarrassing as he thought it would be. And yes, they had an access to free rice cakes, so Hongbin had no complain; except they had to wear a stupid blue apron with bear's head printed on it and he couldn’t go around visiting other stalls and watching the performances.
“I know, I know,” Sanghyuk assured him, “I’ll call the others to take care of the stall at lunch time, and then we can leave.”
So thirty minutes later, Hongbin had gotten himself a mango flavored popsicle and dragged Sanghyuk to stand at the left side of the stage—away from the crowd, but still could see the performer.
Right when the music started with a piano, Sanghyuk already made a fuss, “Why the fuck are they performing ballad in a festival?”
Hongbin recognized the song from the very first note. It was one of his favorite, and he nearly punched Sanghyuk’s throat for what he just said. “Why wouldn’t they, you uncultured hell spawn.”
He didn’t hear Sanghyuk’s reply—if he ever replied—because his eyes caught the figure standing in the middle of the stage. “Who is he?”
“Who? That singer?” Sanghyuk pointed to the same man with his index finger. “He’s Lee Jaehwan-sunbae from music department.”
Hongbin’s unblinking eyes was fixed on that man, and when he started singing, Hongbin got goosebumps. He felt warmth spreading through his chest and up his cheeks. And then his heart responded to the sedate tempo and started to slow down.
“I’ve never seen him before,” Hongbin quietly spoke, and it sounded more like a question than a statement.
“Of course you haven’t.” Sanghyuk shrugged carelessly and tapped Hongbin’s shoulder. “Gotta blast before I pass out. See you later at the stall.”
***
They often call it silly; with ‘they’ being people who know Hongbin and ‘it’ being Hongbin’s tendency to avoid elevator. They assume Hongbin is claustrophobic, which he actually isn’t, but he doesn’t bother to clear it for himself either. It’s not that important anyway. Just like most of people have music or movie preference, Hongbin doesn’t think he needs a reason as why he rarely uses elevator.
Although of course, he has one.
He barely thinks about it actually—at least until today. He has a meeting with some friends at a food court area in the brand new mall. They’re going to have lunch and Hongbin’s running late. So, he kind of unconsciously pushes the elevator button and the doors open at his floor.
Hongbin steps into the empty elevator and turns around to push the floor button he’s going to. As he stands facing the doors in the elevator, suddenly it comes back to his memory—the reason why he doesn’t use elevator that much. It reminds him so much of that one, and only one, “Hey, wait—OUCH!” that he would hear when someone would put his hand out to stop the elevator right before the doors closed.
It’s been almost two years.
***
Hongbin recognized that voice even before the elevator doors moved back open and showed the face of the speaker. And he was right.
“Thank you,” Jaehwan said with a smile, although Hongbin really didn’t do anything. He stopped the elevator himself by sacrificing his own hand.
Jaehwan stepped into the elevator and the doors closed. Hongbin tried to keep their distance as far as possible, but the mall elevator was small. Hongbin kept watching the number on the panel changed from 1 to 2. Damn, the elevator moved so slowly.
“I’ve seen you around,” Jaehwan opened his mouth. It sounded a bit more like a confirmation than a statement. “Around the campus, I mean.”
The awkwardness of meeting a senior outside the university area was hard to explain. Hongbin felt suffocated and his face was too hot for his liking. He turned his head to glance at Jaehwan and threw him a smile that he hoped didn’t look as embarrassed as he thought it did.
“Yeah, I think so,” was all Hongbin could say.
Jaehwan smiled, and Hongbin hated the fact that the damn smile on his senior’s face didn’t look embarrassed at all. As the opposite of him, Jaehwan never seemed to be the person who felt shy. “I’m Lee Jaehwan,” he introduced himself.
“I know,” Hongbin replied. But a millisecond later he realized how weird that sounded. “I mean, you’re kind of famous after that performance.”
Hongbin wasn’t staring at his face, but he could see Jaehwan narrowing his eyebrows. “What performance?” he asked.
“That one you did for summer festival last June.”
“Ah... that stage?” Jaehwan chuckled, cheeks turning slightly pink. “Honestly they only gave me a chance to be on the stage because Taekwoon couldn’t perform at that time. So, basically I was just a, uh,” he paused, thinking of a proper word, “stunt? Something like that.”
Hongbin didn’t know what to say—good for him, Jaehwan wasn’t waiting for him to respond either.
“I didn’t even get to rehearse or anything, you know? They were just like ‘hey, apparently Taekwoon won’t come so can you sing?’ and to the stage I went.” Hongbin noticed how expressive Jaehwan was with the way his hands move around and his eyes sparkle as he talked. “It was an actual trash. I was so nervous I thought I was gonna piss myself. Luckily I didn’t, or else I would straight up kill myself.”
Hongbin knew it wasn’t true. Well, part of it was. Jaehwan did get to perform because the other singer couldn’t make it on the day, but that performance was anything but trash. It was praised by the whole audience, and it was reviewed in their university magazine, and it was also the first time Hongbin saw Jaehwan and heard him sing.
“But you did really well, though,” Hongbin finally found his voice. Turning his head around so that Jaehwan couldn’t see a faint bashful blush on his face, he decided to change the topic and introduce himself, “Anyway I’m Lee Hongbin.”
“I know,” Jaehwan replied, and now it was Hongbin’s turn to raise his eyebrows to him in confusion. “I mean, it’s kinda hard to not notice someone like you.”
Hongbin didn’t get a chance to be baffled by Jaehwan’s words because the elevator halted all of sudden.
***
An encounter that only happens for once in a lifetime, they say.
His mind involuntarily replays the scene as the doors close without anyone stopping them this time. Hongbin’s now alone in the empty elevator. And it is when he remembers why he doesn’t use elevator that much. It reminds him of Jaehwan, and he kind of misses that man a lot.
For Hongbin, everything that can only happen once is either a stroke of luck, or a misfortune. He hasn’t decided yet where to put their meeting in that scale.
***
The emergency sign above the elevator doors was turned on and the operator voice from the speaker told them that there was a problem with the system caused by a small earthquake that just occurred; an earthquake that was so weak neither of them even felt happening, but managed to cause the elevator to stop. They were fixing it now. But for a while, the elevator was stuck.
It was silent for a second as they both processed the situation.
“Do you think they’ll take long to fix it?” Jaehwan asked.
“No,” Hongbin answered, unsure. “Or maybe yes. I don’t know.”
“Damn,” Jaehwan cursed under his breath. He reached into his pocket and took out his phone. He tried to make a call several times but to no avail. There was no signal in the elevator. He let out a frustrated groan and muttered, “God, fuck me.”
“Maybe later.”
Hongbin swore on his life it was unintentional. He didn’t mean to response. But Jaehwan heard that, and he turned his head so quick at him before bursting out laughing. “I don’t know if I should feel dumbfounded or flattered.”
Hongbin was sure his face couldn’t turn any more redder than it already was. Honestly there wouldn’t be any days he would remember this moment without feeling embarrassed. He considered apologizing, but ‘sorry’ would make this even more awkward, so he said nothing and lowered his eyes. It was when he saw how Jaehwan’s hands still fiddling with his phone, almost looked like he was nervous about something.
Maybe he has a date, a little voice in his head whispered.
Maybe it’s none of your business, Hongbin replied to that voice mentally—but he asked anyway, “Are you in a hurry?”
“Huh. Not really.” Jaehwan shook his head. His Adam’s apple bopped up and down in his throat as he swallowed. “I just kinda hate small spaces.”
Hongbin blinked. He never knew that. Well, he didn’t even know anything about Jaehwan, actually. “You’re claustrophobic?”
“Nope.” Jaehwan shrugged. “I just hate it. You know, like how kids hate vegetables or how earthquake happened in this beautiful Sunday morning for no reason.”
“Actually there’s an explanation as how and why earthquakes happen.”
Jaehwan only stared at him as if saying no-shit-Sherlock with his eyes.
“I mean, uh... try closing your eyes or something?” Hongbin advised as a useless attempt to help.
“I can’t.” Jaehwan huffed, making his cheeks puff out a bit. His pupils were slightly shaking, as if the thought of closing his eyes alone already scared him. “It makes it scarier.”
Hongbin knew it was inappropriate, but he couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. “Then why did you get in here in the first place?”
“Because I’m hella dumb,” Jaehwan replied. One of the corners of his mouth lifted to form a half-joking half-frustrated smile. “And I hate stairs so much.”
Hongbin hummed in approval. “Understandable.”
“Do you think they’ll be able to open the doors by force if I scream?” Jaehwan asked, kind of rhetorically.
Hongbin didn’t get a chance to answer it before Jaehwan opened his mouth and shouted to the top of his lungs, “SOMEONE HELP! WE’RE TRAPPED IN HERE! HELLOOOOOOOO?”
Hongbin almost jumped out of surprise. He covered his ears with his hands by reflect. “Oh, fuck—God—please stop. Shit, you’re turning me deaf.”
Jaehwan (of course he didn’t hear Hongbin over his own screaming) was now hiting the elevator doors with his fist. “ANYONE! PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR! WE ARE STUCK! ANYOOOOOONE!”
Hongbin decided to step forward and grabbed Jaehwan’s wrist before the senior hurt himself—and before they got accused for vandalism. “That’s not helping. Let’s just wait, okay?”
Jaehwan looked at him, and had the nerve to even give him a subtle smile. “Sorry,” he muttered.
They stayed there for a second too long. Hongbin realized he was still holding Jaehwan’s wrist, so he let it go fast; almost like he was throwing it. “Where are you going anyway? Why did you bring a guitar?” Hongbin asked, pointing to the guitar that Jaehwan carried in a bag on his back—maybe if they had a conversation, they wouldn’t notice the time and Jaehwan wouldn’t scream again. Hongbin was too young to go deaf.
“Meeting friends. Coming back from a class,” Jaehwan answered. He sounded a bit breathy because he ran out of breath.
“Oh.” Hongbin narrowed his forehead, confused. “Actually—sorry, what class? This is Sunday.”
“Not my class.” Jaehwan took a deep breath before he continued, “Well, I teach music some children at the Church every Sunday as a volunteer.”
Hongbin’s eyes widened, making his eyebrows rise in disbelief. “You? Teaching?”
Jaehwan snorted, crossed his arms on his chest. “Yeah. Disappointing, huh? With this look I should be a superstar and perform on TV already.”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant.” Hongbin waved both of his hands and shook his head, which definitely made him look like an awkward seal. “I mean that’s cute—no, cool. Yes that. That’s so cool.”
“I know, right?” Jaehwan’s face lit up and he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “I’m actually even cooler after you know me more, like seriously.”
Jaehwan's cheeky smile hit Hongbin like the first touch of sunshine on a really cold day that he couldn’t help but smile back. Hongbin rolled his eyes, failingly tried to hide the grin on his face. “Whatever, Lee Jaehwan. Whatever.”
“You said that now but it’s you who wanted to fuck me earlier.”
Hongbin felt like his heart just dropped to the floor. “Can't you like—just let that die, for God’s sake.”
Jaehwan laughed again, louder, and it was one of the most pleasant sounds Hongbin had ever heard.
***
Hongbin’s phone in his jeans pocket rings when the elevator doors open at the next floor for some passengers to get in. It’s Sanghyuk.
“What do you want, son of a bitch?” is how Hongbin answers the call, making some people turn their heads to him in surprise. Some others click their tongues.
“Who are you calling son of a bitch, dickhead?” The other person replies, but it’s Hakyeon’s voice instead of Sanghyuk’s.
Hongbin glances at his phone to make sure he didn’t see it wrongly. It’s definitely Sanghyuk’s contact name that’s appearing on his touch screen. “Why are you calling me from Sanghyuk’s phone?” he says as he puts his phone back to his ear.
“Because you never answer my calls,” Hakyeon says matter-of-factly. “Where are you?”
“I just got in the elevator.”
“Huh?” Hakyeon sounds surprised. “I thought you were claustrophobic.”
Hongbin narrows his forehead. “Who says?”
“People, but whatever—none of my business. Anyway, can you buy some churros on the way? I want chocolate ones.”
This is one of so many reasons why Hongbin rarely answers Hakyeon’s call. “Am I your slave?” he muttered.
“Yes.”
“I swear to God, Cha—huh?” Hongbin doesn’t get to finish his words because the call gets cut all of sudden. “Hello?"
***
At minute fifteen, they ran out of topic to talk about with each other. It started to become a bit hot in the elevator (like literally, not that kind of hot, although you probably wish—God, that little voice in Hongbin’s head wouldn’t shut up) and uncomfortable and awkward, because Hongbin barely knew anything about his senior, except maybe he now knew that Jaehwan talked a lot, Jaehwan hated small spaces, and Jaehwan was dramatic as hell.
That was all.
Hongbin’s phone made a beep sound as low battery warning just now. Good. Even if the network finally worked, he couldn’t use his phone.
There were no further updates from the speaker. They had given up standing, so now they were sitting cross legged on the elevator floor, side to side, separated by an awkward gap filled with silence.
“How long do you think they’ll take to fix it?”
Jaehwan sounded tired and a little bit desperate. Hongbin guessed it wouldn’t take too long until the senior snapped and broke the elevator doors.
“Maybe they’ll be done soon,” Hongbin obviously sounded unsure, but Jaehwan didn’t have the energy to argue.
It was quiet—once again. He started to understand why Jaehwan was anxious. They were trapped inside a metal box without help and food. What if another earthquake happened? What if they took days to fix the elevator? What if Hongbin had to pee?
Perfect. As soon as he thought of it, suddenly he needed to go to the bathroom.
Hongbin turned to look at Jaehwan who was staring blankly at the doors in front of them. His guitar case was resting on his lap.
“What song was it?” Hongbin broke the silence. “The song that you sang for that performance.”
Jaehwan didn’t answer straightaway. Hongbin thought Jaehwan was zoning out and he was about to wave his hand in front of the elder’s face to make him snap out of it—but before he got to do that, Jaehwan opened his mouth, “Park Hyoshin's Snow Flower.”
Jaehwan then crossed his arms on his chest and narrowed his eyebrows to Hongbin, pretending to be offended. “How dare you say that I’m famous after that performance but you don’t even remember what song it was?”
“I have a lot of thoughts, okay,” Hongbin immediately replied, ears turning as red as cherry. “And maybe I was just more focused on you than the song.”
Jaehwan rolled his eyes, but there was a weak cheeky smile on his face. “Flattery gets you nowhere, Lee Hongbin.”
Well, it somehow got me here—was what Hongbin thought, but of course he didn’t say it out loud. Instead he said, “Sing it.”
“Sing what?”
“Snow Flower.”
“Here? Now?”
“Yeah.”
“Why.”
“Well.” Hongbin shrugged. “It’s not like you have anything else to do.”
“Oh.” Jaehwan blinked. “Okay then.”
And so they were on the floor, Jaehwan strummed his guitar and sang the song; and he didn’t sing it for Hongbin but Hongbin would like to think he did, and it reminded him of that time when he heard it for the first time and his chest filled with warmth.
Maybe it was just the heat, though, but who the hell cared.
Hongbin realized he wasn’t too nervous anymore. His heart was at peace. He was calm. Nothing would go wrong. Everything would be all right.
Wouldn’t it?
***
The passengers start to panic and mumble to each other when they realize the elevator gets stuck. Hongbin can’t quite comprehend what they’re saying when the little voice inside his head is all like God, fuck me up. Fuck me up. Fuck me the fuck up for fuck’s—
And the next minute it starts moving again. A female operator from the speaker apologizes for the inconvenience and tells them there was a little problem with the system that’s fixed immediately.
Good for them, or else Hongbin’s going to snap.
His phone rings. It’s Sanghyuk—or Hakyeon again.
“What happened? Why did you cut my call?”
Hongbin is still too shocked to argue, so he just tells him, “The elevator got stuck and I lost connection.” He doesn’t realize that he’s kind of short out breath until he speaks. “It’s fine now. I'll be there in a minute.”
“Okay. Don't forget my churros.”
Hongbin could die in the elevator and all Hakyeon cares about is his snack. “Fuck yourself,” he murmurs.
“No, Sanghyuk does that,” Hakyeon replies merrily. “Bye!”
***
When the elevator started moving again, Jaehwan jumped up with a jolt, his hands both raised in the air. “Finally!”
Hongbin too let out a relieved sigh. He stood up, brushing off dust from the back of his jeans with his both hands. The doors opened at the next floor and they both literally threw themselves out of the damn elevator.
Jaehwan turned to Hongbin. “Thanks a lot for being there with me, Hongbin.”
There was something about how Jaehwan pronounced his name that made Hongbin feel like his legs turned to jelly. He cleared his throat, eyes wandering to anywhere but Jaehwan, and nodded fast. “Thanks for the song too. I guess.”
Now that he was free, Jaehwan was all smiles that it was hard for Hongbin to not smile at him too. His smile was contagious and dangerously cute, and Hongbin wanted to throw up just by thinking about that phrase.
“I should go now—say hi to me next time, okay?” Jaehwan waved his hand as a goodbye before he turned around and ran to a direction. Hongbin stayed at his place until Jaehwan’s back disappeared in the crowd.
Only that Hongbin never got a chance to say hi to Jaehwan, because there was no next time. It was the first and the last time they talked to each other.
He never saw Jaehwan again.
***
A short ride on the elevator brings Hongbin back to that day. Since then, Jaehwan has disappeared all at once. Hongbin never sees him around like he used to do anymore. He never ‘accidentally’ meets him outside the university either. And Hongbin is too shy to find out why. He just walks around the university aimlessly, waiting for another chance, luck, coincidence—whatever you name it. No one bothers to tell him where Jaehwan is. Why would they anyway? Does Hongbin think Jaehwan would at least leave him a message or something?
Who do you think you are?
Elevator reminds Hongbin that he once made a promise—that if there’s next time, if he gets a chance to meet Jaehwan again, he won’t be a fool. He’ll be brave and… well, he’s not so sure—maybe he’ll be a bit more honest and tells the former senior about his feelings.
Feelings.
Pfft. Bullshit.
Hongbin hates reminiscence. He hates feeling sentimental over a stupid encounter. In his head, he’s already gathering all the memories from that day in hurry and puts them back into the box on the abandoned corner of his mind. He has no spare time for momentary break such as nostalgia. He’s ready to move on now—and get those damn churros (because he also hates listening to Hakyeon’s whining).
The elevator doors finally open at his stop, the sixth floor. A few passengers who stand in front of him are also getting out at the same floor, so he waits for them to exit first before he follows. Or, he’s just about to follow—until he raises his head and finds it.
Finds him.
Standing in between a scattering of people who are waiting for the elevator.
Is him.
He’s even carrying the same damn guitar on his back.
That man lifts his chin straight up and is about to take a step forward when his eyes involuntarily meet Hongbin’s. And he too freezes on his spot, his eyes widen.
Hongbin can almost see all those memories spill out of the box and fall all over the place under his nose.
He’s wearing glasses now, ones with thick black frames. Some part of Hongbin that’s not taken aback nor surprised thinks it fits him. It makes him look cute.
Cuter than he already is.
Two years, Lee Hongbin. God, you’re a fucking idiot.
“Huh? Hongbin? Lee Hongbin, right?”
It still makes Hongbin feel weak at the knees.
***
The night sky was clearer and more beautiful in the countryside. The moon was a bright circle surrounded by dozens of little stars. There must be some constellation somewhere. Jaehwan never really studied astrology, so he wasn’t sure.
“I’m sorry.”
Jaehwan turned his head to where his mother’s voice came from. “For what?”
She sat beside him, linking her arm to his son’s and resting her head on his shoulder. “For making you move out so suddenly.”
Jaehwan gave her his best smile—the wide one that made the corners of his eyes wrinkle. “It’s fine, mom, really,” he replied.
He totally understood that this was necessary. After his father suddenly passed out at his workplace, the doctors said there was a problem with his health and it was important to keep him away from stress, hence why they had to move out from the city to their house in the countryside. His father needed a better, less-stress environment and as a good wife and good son, that was what they were giving for his recovery.
Jaehwan did understand that. And he didn’t mind at all. This place was nice, and much to his delight, the local art club was looking for a singer for their band. So, Jaehwan was happy. His only issue was they moved out so suddenly, he didn’t get to bid a proper farewell to his friends, even to that person...
“Do you miss someone?”
Jaehwan raised his eyebrows to his mom with a questioning look.
“I know a longing stare when I see one,” she said in a Know-It-All tone. “I once was in love too, okay.”
“You still are,” Jaehwan corrected her.
“Yeah, I guess I still am.”
She beamed with delight as her cheeks blushed a bit. His mom in Jaehwan’s memory was always a lovely person who saw the world through rose-colored glasses. She loved wholly, without constraint and doubt. Honestly Jaehwan had never met someone who could love with one’s everything as his mom did.
“Who is it?”
That question cut his trail of thoughts and brought Jaehwan back to reality. What were they talking about before?
“That person you miss,” her mom added, as if she could hear what Jaehwan was thinking.
Jaehwan took a while before he answered, “A friend. Well, no, we weren’t actually friends,” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly, “he was my junior from university. His name is Hongbin.” Even the name alone made his heart beat a bit harder. “I'll introduce him to you one day. If I ever had a chance to meet him again, of course.”
“You will,” his mom stated. “If it's fate, then you'll meet him again; probably in the most unpredictable way.”
She sounded so sure that Jaehwan couldn’t help but believed it too.
“I hope so.” Jaehwan turned his head back to the night sky. It really was more beautiful here than it was in the city. He wondered if Hongbin was seeing the same night sky at this very moment. “I really hope so.”
***
“How long are we going to stand here?”
Jaehwan didn’t bother to answer Wonshik. His attention was fully drawn to the tall lean figure of the sophomore who was in charge of the rice cake stall. Jaehwan’s face wore that astounded expression of a madly-in-love-teenager that Wonshik couldn’t help but grimace at.
“Hyung, you’re such a fool.”
He wasn’t sure if Jaehwan heard him right or not, because the next thing Wonshik knew was Jaehwan’s smile only got bigger. “He looks so adorable in that bear apron, doesn’t he?” Jaehwan said.
Wonshik rolled his eyes. “I think I’m gonna puke.”
Wonshik regretted tagging along with Jaehwan to go around the festival. If he had known earlier that Jaehwan only went there to see his not-so-secret crush who apparently was selling snacks with his anime-freak classmate, Wonshik would’ve said no. He’d rather spend his time at the game stall, or watching the stage—anything but accompanying his neighbor hyung to stalk that fellow sophomore of his from another department.
Confused? Welcome to Wonshik's life.
“You should just approach him and ask for his number, or whatever.”
“I can’t.” Jaehwan finally turned his head from his favorite sight to hiss at Wonshik. “What if I scare him away?”
“Once he finds out that you’re always staring at his ass from afar, he’ll be scared anyway.”
“Shhh.” Jaehwan put his index finger in front of his lips to shush Wonshik. “His ass is not the only thing that I like to stare at.”
“What the hell does that even mean.”
Luckily, Jaehwan didn’t get a chance to answer because he heard someone called his name. They both turned their heads to where the voice came from and found Sejeong, one of the festival committee members running toward them.
“Hey, guys. You’re having fun?” Sejeong didn’t wait for a response to her greeting before she continued speaking without a pause, “Anyway, Jaehwan-sunbae, we just got informed that something happened and Taekwoon-sunbae won’t be able to perform on stage today. Can you fill his place? Please. I don’t know who else to ask. You’re the only person I could think of right now.”
"Uh..." Jaehwan blinked fast, hand awkwardly scratching his nape. "Actually I'm kinda busy—"
"Yes, he can," Wonshik cut him off with a huge grin.
Jaehwan glared at him. "Hey—"
He got cut again when Wonshik pushed his back, almost causing him to trip on his feet. "He's always ready to sing."
Sejeong's eyes were twinkling, full of hope. "Is it really okay, sunbae?"
"Wait, I'm—"
"No worries, hyung," Wonshik lowered his voice so that only Jaehwan could hear, "You won't miss anything. I'll make sure Hongbin's still at his little stall when you come back."
♫ ♫ ♫