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I shouldn’t be here.
It’s the only thought in Ray’s head as he fidgets nervously outside your door. For the third time he looks both ways down the long hallway, nearly choking with the fear of being discovered. It’s not as if he’ll be reprimanded if he’s caught, but the disappointment in Savior’s eyes would make his guilt unbearable.
Still, he remains, staring at the thick cherry wood door in front of him. Even the threat of his guardian’s piercing gaze is not enough to overcome the compulsion to see you – to hear the beautiful aria of your voice. You haunt his dreams and distract him from his duties so much he now finds himself wringing his hands with indecision, a mere piece of wood separating you.
Knock or leave – don’t stand here like an airhead. He licks his dry lips, trying to convince himself to move, to turn from the temptation of you and return to his position in front of his monitors. That’s the only place he really belongs – the only place he’s useful. Instead, his gloved hand rises and wraps lightly on the door.
This is stupid. She doesn’t want to see you – why would she? You’re dumb, there’s nothing of interest in your pathetic little brain to share with her. She-
His self recriminations are interrupted by the sound of your voice trailing through the closed barrier. “Come in.” Even those two simple words make his pulse hammer in his throat, and he clears it before placing a hesitant hand on the doorknob and twisting.
Ray enters your room, the smell of roses assaulting him, quickly followed by the citrus scent of your body wash drifting through the open bathroom door. A brief smile curves his lips, recognizing the bouquet of flowers he’d brought you the day before arranged beautifully in a crystal vase. He wonders idly where you found the container, but his attention is soon drawn to your movements beside the bed.
You glance over your shoulder and give him an embarrassed smile. “I was getting ready for bed when I realized I haven’t charged my phone today.” You hold up your phone, its screen black. “I don’t know how long it’s been dead. I’m sorry if you’ve tried to call me.”
“Oh...no, well...maybe a couple of times?” How many times did I try to call? Five, six...more? Great, now she’s going to think I’m obsessed with her – or a stalker. Not that she’d be entirely wrong.
“I’m really sorry,” you apologize once more, jamming the charger cord into the bottom of your phone and setting it on the nightstand. You turn with a sheepish smile, and Ray tries to keep his eyes from wandering down to stare at the short pajamas you wear. They are blue with pink daisies and barely cover the tops of your thighs. The top has a scooped neckline with spaghetti straps, and he can feel his face – and other parts of his anatomy – warming at the amount of flesh you’re displaying. “I hope I didn’t worry you.”
“No...I mean, yes, I was worried, but...you don’t need to apologize to me. You’re my guest, you don’t...owe me...anything. I’m only grateful you’re still here.” Your smile widens in delight, and Ray flushes. “I mean…”
You laugh and plop down on the bed. The slight bounce of your breasts moving beneath your shirt draws his attention, but he quickly jerks his gaze back to your face, praying you didn’t notice. “Are you kidding?” You beam up at him and pat the surface beside you in invitation. He hesitates for a moment, then moves to sink down beside you, careful to keep his distance. “You’re my boss, of course I owe you. You may treat me like a guest, but you’re the one providing me food and shelter for doing practically nothing.”
You’re correct – in the three months you’ve been living at Magenta as Ray’s assistant, he’s barely given you any assignments to complete. In the beginning, he’d been frustrated at your inability to learn as quickly as he’d like, fear of Savior finding no use for you making him lose his temper and snap at your every mistake. As the days wore on, that fear grew to the point where he gave up trying to teach you his complicated algorithms, and took over the bulk of all coding responsibilities. Better he loses sleep by staying up all night working than have you thrown out – or worse.
The thought causes a wave of panic to crash over him, and his throat tightens once again with terror. He opens his mouth to insist your work is of the utmost importance when your phone chimes as it powers up.
The sound distracts you, and you reach over to pluck the smartphone from the table. From his position he can see the screen, and his stomach feels queasy with mortification at the missed call notification.
“Twelve missed calls…” You bite your lip, an attractive blush staining your cheeks. Your eyes dart up to meet his, and he immediately drops his gaze to his lap. “I really did worry you.” You move an inch closer, reaching out to place a naked hand over his leather clad ones. His heart feels close to bursting at the light squeeze of your fingers. “I’m sorry, Ray. Please, don’t be cross with me, I won’t let it happen again.”
Ray’s head shoots up, his light green eyes peering into yours. “Cross? No! I could never…” He loses his train of thought under the anxious attention you show him, and looks away, finding the effort of maintaining eye contact overwhelming. “I-I’m not...upset...with you,” he manages to utter, his eyes returning to yours briefly before once again shifting to the side. “It’s true, I was worried that you...but you’re here and...I’m just glad you’re okay.”
Shooting up from the bed, he straightens his vest and clears his throat. “It’s late and I shouldn’t have bothered you,” he apologizes, and takes a step toward the door then pauses. “Tomorrow Savior would like me to drive into town to pick up some supplies. I don’t suppose you’d-”
“I’d love to,” you agree before he can finish asking. “Will Savior mind if I tag along?”
“Oh, no, not at all,” Ray releases in a rush of relief. Asking had been easier than he’d imagined, and now that it’s done, some of the tension drains from him, and he smiles, though it begins to melt as a thought occurs to him. “You do know...you aren’t a...prisoner here. You may come and go as you please – everyone here at Magenta can.”
A soft smile curves your lips, and he can’t help but return it. “I do know that, Ray. I only thought perhaps she wished for you to go alone – super secret Mint Eye business and all that.” Your eyes twinkle with amusement, and it makes his heart begin to race. “If that’s not the case, then it’s a date.”
A date? She can’t mean a real date – she’s only teasing me.
Of course she is – you don’t think she’d actually be interested in a weakling like you, do you?
The taunting voice in his head has returned, and with it a trepidation that threatens to freeze Ray to the spot. The worst thing that could happen right now is the one living inside gaining control. He makes a mental note to take an extra dose of elixir, but then discards it. The elixir only seems to make the other one more active.
Go away!
Tsk, tsk, marshmallow boy. I’m here to help you – to keep you from making a fool of yourself by believing she...or anyone, really...will ever be into you.
S top!
“Ray, are you alright?” You rise and clasp his hands, your face filled with concern.
He blinks at you, then drops his gaze. He can feel the caress of your thumbs through the thin leather of his gloves and his body begins to respond to the innocuous stimulation. “I’m fine,” he says quickly, and attempts to pull away.
“You’re trembling,” you retort, your fingers tightening their grip, “and you were whispering ‘stop’.”
“I-I-I...I have to go.” He once again attempts to pull away with the same result.
“Could you stay?” The question, as much as its panicked tone, catches him off guard and he stills.
“Stay? You want me to...stay?”
You nod, your demeanor now bashful. “Please – only until I fall asleep,” you plead. “During the day, I’m fine, but at night...I can hear the Believers moving around the property, and I...well, I...the truth is they scare me.”
Ray’s brows twitch down in confusion. “But...they’re just people. I admit the robes can take a bit to get used to, but everyone here is just trying to get by the best they can. They come to us because they are in pain – no one is in a position to harm you.”
“That may be true,” you admit, and run your palms down the lapels of his jacket. “But...even still, their silence, their...stoicism...unnerves me. But when I’m with you, I don’t feel any of that.” Your bright eyes lift to meet his. “With you I feel safe.”
Mocking laughter sounds in his ears, and he winces.
You? Goddamn, you found a bigger idiot than yourself. There’s no way in hell you’re capable of protecting another human being. Jesus, faced with danger, you’d cry and run in the other direction. You’re a weakling – just a scared little boy. You could never keep anyone safe – not even yourself.
“I can!” His exclamation startles you, and you take a step back, your eyes widening. Ray blinks at you, his own wide eyes taking in your look of surprise. It’s only then he realizes he’s spoken aloud. “I’m sorry...I...of course I will stay if it helps you.”
The relief you feel is apparent in your face, and you smile at him in thanks. “It shouldn’t be long,” you rush to assure him, climbing between the blush colored sheets. “With you here, I’m sure I’ll drop right off. Thank you so much, Ray.”
“I’d do anything for you,” he blurts, then busies himself by fussing with the blanket to hide his embarrassment. Pulling the thick quilted cover up to your shoulders, his eyes accidently meet yours, and before he realizes what he’s doing, he leans down to place a light kiss on your forehead.
Before you can react, he turns to move one of the upholstered wingback chairs closer to the bed. Removing his jacket, he drapes it on the high back and sits, picking invisible lint from his trousers to avoid your gaze.
“Goodnight, Ray,” you call, your voice soft in the stillness.
Unbidden, his eyes return to you like a moth to a flame, his face burning at his inability to keep his thoughts from escaping his mouth. You’re smiling, and to his relief there is no reproach in your gaze – only a gleam of something he can’t quite place, but whatever it is lights up your face from within. She’s beautiful. “Goodnight,” he finally answers, and leans back, resting his hands on the elegant, curved arms of the chair.
You tuck a fistful of blanket under your chin, your head shifting to find the most comfortable position before you sigh in contentment. It doesn’t take long for your breathing to even out, but Ray remains where he is, studying you as you slumber. He’s giddy with the freedom to observe you unheeded, and he bites his lip hard to assure himself he’s not dreaming.
I should return to my room, I’m already so far behind… He moves to turn off the lamp that rests beside the bed, and the room falls into darkness, only the light from the full moon illuminating the large space. He turns, but instead of heading for the door, he returns to his chair and sinks into it with a sigh. Good – he feels good being here with you. So good that he’s loathe to have it end too soon so he rests his head on the soft surface behind him and stares at your form until his eyes adjust to the dark. A few more minutes – five at the most – won’t hurt anything.
He doesn’t feel his eyes close, but the next thing he knows they are snapping open in alarm. You whimper from the bed, the covers twisted around your body as you thrash about in distress.
Ray utters your name in a panicked whisper, and without thinking launches himself onto the bed, his hands gripping your shoulders to still you. Softly he calls your name, knowing from experience that pulling you abruptly from your demons will do more harm than merely coaxing your consciousness back to reality.
You continue to sob, and he begins to doubt his gentle method when your eyes open and search the room frantically before they lock onto his. “Ray!” You throw your arms around his neck, burying your wet face in the crook of his neck.
He freezes, the warmth of your body pressed against him seeping through his clothes to heat his skin. With immense hesitation, his arms surround you, afraid that any second you’ll jerk away in disgust. After all, who would want a worm like him comforting them? However, your grip on him tightens, your fingers digging into his back as your body quivers in fright.
“Thank god you’re here,” you whisper, and he holds you close against him, letting his mouth drop to the top of your head. Somewhere in the recesses of his memory, the visage of being comforted in this way by his brother tugs at his heartstrings. Shoving the fragment aside, he breathes in deep, your scent wreaking havoc on his senses. “It was awful, Ray. You kept asking me to stay with you, begging me not to leave you, and I tried so hard to get to you, but every time I tried there were Believers pulling me further and further away and you just kept pleading with me and I wanted so much to tell you I wouldn’t go anywhere but-”
“Shh,” Ray soothes, his heart racing at the mere thought of being kept from you. Stroking your hair he feels an enormous swell of protectiveness accompanied by a fear so great it steals his breath. Your nightmare has become his own, and he does his best to push down the dread that threatens to choke him. “It was just a dream – I would never allow that to happen.”
Pulling away, you gaze up at him intently. “I will never leave you,” you promise, and Ray’s heart stops before it begins beating at a rapid pace. “ Ever, Ray. Do you hear me? As long as you want me here, I’ll remain.”
“O-o-okay,” he stammers, shocked at your passionate declaration, but relieved and ecstatic to hear it.
“I’m sorry.” You seem to suddenly realize the intensity of your words and drop your arms. Ray tries to stem the wave of disappointment he feels at losing your touch. “It was just so...vivid.” You wrap your arms around yourself and hesitate before speaking once more. “Ray...will you...nevermind.”
“What?” Anxious to ease your discomfort, he edges a bit closer. “Whatever you need, I’m happy to provide.”
You smile and dash away the tears on your cheeks with the back of your hand. “Will you...spend the night? I know you have a lot of work to do, but...I don’t think I can bear to be alone tonight. Not after…”
“Of course,” he immediately answers, eager to put your mind at ease. Ignoring the guilt he feels at abandoning his responsibilities to Savior, he kicks off his shoes as you move to the other side off the bed. Stretching out beside you, he’s careful to keep his distance, making sure there’s at least an arm’s length of space between you.
Even so, you’re close enough to reach out and squeeze his hand, your face full of gratitude. “Thank you, Ray; thank you for indulging your lowly assistant.” Your quivering lips form into a wan smile.
“Don’t devalue your worth,” he responds, his tone low and serious. How could you ever believe he would think of you as lowly? To him you are priceless – irreplaceable.
“Oh, c’mon.” You roll your eyes. “I’m sure maintaining the firewall is something you could do in your sleep.”
“Network security is of the utmost importance.”
Laughing, you shake your head. “Ray, I spend most of the day playing on my phone.”
“Being in your presence calms me, helps me concentrate. Without you, I think I might just lose my mind in front of those monitors. I’d say that’s much more valuable than being merely an assistant.” The words are out of his mouth before he can even comprehend he’s thinking them, and he blushes as your face softens with something he doesn’t recognize.
“I enjoy being around you too, Ray.”
It’s only when you squeeze his fingers once more that he realizes you’re still holding his hand. A rush of pleasure travels from the heat of your hand covering his to chest where his heart swells with emotion. Kind – she’s so kind.
Things he has no business thinking dance through his mind – outings and late night conversations, bodies twined together in his bed. Visions of your laughing face beaming at him as you both dig your hands into fresh earth to plant yet another rose bush, lying together amidst the fragrant blooms already matured as you watch the sky and point out various shapes within the white, puffy clouds. Simple pleasures such as preparing and sharing meals taunt his imagination, and when those wishes turn to more carnal desires, he feels his groin begin to stir.
Clearing his throat, he gently pulls his hand from beneath yours and avoids your gaze. His body is on fire now, and remaining here is the worst possible thing he can do, but he won’t –can’t-- disappoint you. He’s promised to stay, so stay he shall.
“We should sleep,” he chokes out, his throat suddenly tight as reality sweeps away all the sweet images drifting behind his eyes. “I’ll have to leave at dawn, and after being away on our errands I’ll be so behind…”
You frown. “I’m sorry. You know what? If you need to work tonight, I understand, though I hate it when you don’t sleep. Asking you to stay was selfish of me.”
“I don’t mind.” His words tumble over one another in his haste to get them out. “I...know how frightening it can be...after a nightmare. I’d rather work doubly hard tomorrow night than to leave you alone with your fears.”
You bite your lip, and study him, your eyes boring into his. “Ray,” you begin, then pause, appearing to consider your words before speaking. “I...need to...tell you something.”
The hesitation in your voice concerns him. Never has he heard you so unsure. In the beginning you’d been quiet, observing him work in a vain attempt of obtaining the knowledge needed to perform his many duties. After the first week, however, you’d never been afraid to speak your mind, even pushing back against his sporadic, uncharacteristic outbursts of anger.
Now, you sound almost unsure if you should say anything, and the urge to ease your discomfort directs him to reach out and clasp the hand he’s just retreated from. “You don’t have to be afraid of me.”
You release a small breath of laughter and shake your head. “I’ve never been afraid of you, but...this is...I guess I should just say it, right?” He nods, and you take a deep breath before letting it out slowly. Careful to hold his gaze, you speak. “I...I like you, Ray – a lot.”
“I like you, too,” he responds, his face creasing in confusion.
“No.” You twist your wrist and thread your fingers through his. “I think...no, I know...I’m...falling for you,” your tongue peeks out to moisten your lips, “and I think maybe you feel the same.”
His eyes burn as he wrenches his hand from yours. Sitting up, his eyes dart around the room he so carefully prepared for you, his heart breaking into tiny pieces. She’s teasing me. There’s no way she…. He can’t even bring himself to think the word ‘love’, but it’s there in every shaking breath he takes.
“That’s not funny,” he whispers through the lump in his throat. “It-it-it’s not nice to tease people. I’m not very smart, but I know when I’m being made fun of. There’s no way you’d ever...I…have to...”
Escape is the only thought in his head and swings his legs over the edge of the mattress and scoots forward to stand. Before he can gain his feet, you throw your arms around his shoulders, your body pressed against his.
“I would never do that to you – I love you,” you declare, your mouth pressed against his spine. “I do, Ray. It’s not a joke, not a way to-to-to trick you into embarrassing yourself. It’s the truth, and I’ve tried so hard ignore it, but every second I spend with you just reaffirms these feelings are genuine.”
The sincerity of your words sink into him, and it awakens things in him only present during those private, stolen moments where he fantasizes about you as he finds completion in his fist. Your lips move to his nape and kiss him gently, and that’s all it takes for his semi-erect member to harden and strain against his trousers painfully.
His lungs empty with a shuddering sigh, and his hands rise to cover yours. “I don’t understand.” His eyes screw shut, squeezing the tears hovering on his lashes to slide down his face. “I’m nothing – a nobody, a waste of space.”
“Don’t devalue your worth.”
A surprised chuckle escapes his throat, and he feels you smile against his neck. Your arms leave him, and he feels a sharp pang of loss, irrational panic clutching his heart. He begins to turn, to apologize for whatever he’s done to trigger your withdrawal, and sees you move to slide from the bed. His eyes follow as you position yourself between his spread knees, and he shifts in an attempt to conceal the evidence of how excited he is.
Your gaze falls to the front of his trousers then lifts to meet his, and he’s convinced he will die on the spot from humiliation. Warm, soft hands cup his face and his eyes close in both embarrassment and ecstasy. “You don’t need to be ashamed,” you whisper, your spearmint tinged breath tickling his lips. “I want you too.”
Ray’s eyes fly open, but immediately flutter closed once again when your mouth presses against his in a featherlight kiss. Too soon you pull away, and to his astonishment, you fail to move away, merely lift one of his hands and slowly remove the ever-present glove. You drop the leather to the floor and run your lips along his palm, your eyes closing as if to savor the sensation of his skin against yours. You repeat the process with the opposite hand, then take a step closer and wrap his arms around your waist.
His head tilts back to peer up at you, and you grace him with the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen. “I want you, Ray,” you repeat, and run your fingers through his hair, “but if you’re not ready for this, I understand. If you want to leave, I won’t try to stop you.”
“...stay,” he chokes out, and clears his throat to try again. “I want to stay,” he manages, every single nerve in his body on fire. His cock throbs within its confines, so stiff he worries if perhaps there’s something unnatural about the way he aches for you. It wouldn’t surprise him if he were to find release by the mere sensation of your touch in his hair.
“Relax,” you murmur with a smile. He blinks at you, pleased and a bit sheepish you can read him so well. “We have all night.”
Stooping, you brush your lips against his, and his arms tighten their grip around you. The tip of your tongue touches his top lip, and he jolts back in alarm. His pulse jumps in the hollow of his throat, his mouth suddenly dry.
“Was that too fast?”
“No,” he answers quickly. “It’s not that I...I don’t…” He sighs, frustrated with his lack of confidence. Taking a breath, he straightens his back and forces himself to maintain eye contact. “This is the first time I’ve ever kissed anyone. It’s not that I don’t want to, I just...I don’t know how.”
Your face relaxes, and you trail your fingertips along his jaw. “I can teach you – if you’d like.”
“Yes.” He nods emphatically, and you giggle at his eagerness.
“Alright, part your lips like this.” Attentive, green eyes fall to your mouth as your full lips part slightly in demonstration. He mimics your actions, and you give him a pleased grin. “Perfect,” you breathe, and lean down to slant your parted lips over his.
Ray’s hands clutch at your pajama top, his fingers twisting the soft material in his enthusiasm. Your fingertips caress his neck, and he feels his world tilt as you pull his bottom lip between your teeth. Things he’s never allowed his thoughts to linger on before – the fullness of your breasts, the curve of your waist, the smell and softness of your hair – invades his senses, and he surrenders to the euphoria clouding his mind.
Your tongue slips into his mouth, and when it strokes his in a soft caress, he’s convinced his heart will burst. Unthinking, his hands slide to the small of your back and pull you closer, needing to hold on to keep himself from floating away on a cloud of elation.
The kiss ends, and Ray tries to conceal his disappointment. Something in his demeanor tips you off, however, and you release a breathless laugh and press your forehead against his.
“Just like that, okay?”
His cock twitches at the realization that you aren’t stopping, merely allowing him control, and his hands tremble with apprehension. What if he does something wrong? Is it okay to touch you, or is he strictly allowed to kiss you? And if he is allowed to touch, where should he do it?
His thoughts race as he captures your mouth, repeating your actions with uncertainty. When his tongue touches yours, you moan, your fingers tangling in his hair to pull him closer. To his surprise, your tongue coils around his, the new sensation of you moving in tandem exhilarating.
Your body shifts, and without breaking the kiss, you climb onto his lap, your knees framing his hips. The heat between your legs presses against his erection and he whimpers at the flood of pleasure that radiates from his groin. His fingers dig into your hips as he attempts to move with you, frustrated at his limited mobility.
Your fingers work loose the buttons of his vest and shove it down his arms. “Is this alright?” you pant, finally tearing your mouth from his, your body restless.
He nods. “Yes, but...I want…” He lets his words trail away, afraid to confess his desire. Already you’ve given him more than he ever dreamed – how can he dare ask for anything else?
“...more?” you finish, and he feels lightheaded at your hopeful tone. Once again he nods, and you sigh in relief. “Good, so do I.”
She sounds...happy. I made her happy. That knowledge flows through him like a river of lava, heating his veins with the need to give more . With no encouragement, he wraps an arm around your waist and scoots further back onto the bed, pulling you down to sprawl atop him as he stretches out. Your eyes widen in surprise at his initiative, and the slight upward thrust of his hips once you’re both horizontal.
Determined to push past his fear of the unknown, his hand slides up to grasp your nape, and he pulls you down into an enthusiastic – if uncoordinated – kiss. What he lacks in technique, he more than makes up for in his longing to please you. To his satisfaction, you respond heartily to his clumsy attempts to imitate the finesse you’ve shown thus far, the small moans you emit encouraging him to try harder to get it right.
Just when he thinks he has the hang of using his tongue the correct way, you pull away. Stomach dropping in disappointment, he can do nothing but watch as you sit up, fear that he’s messed up in some way robbing him of speech. His eyes burn at his inability to do the most natural of acts, something so common even the basest of mammals can perform. Words of self-loathing invade the fog of lust consuming him, and he attempts to turn the heartache he feels into anger at himself.
Throwing an arm over his eyes to hide his thoughts from your keen observation, he steadies his breathing, praying you don’t notice he is on the verge of tears. I’m a loser, I’ll always be a loser. I don’t know why I thought I could make her happy. I’m too stupid to be anything but a burden. I shouldn’t have even come here tonight.
You touch his arm and he jumps in surprise. “Ray,” you coax, tugging gently at his arm. “Look at me please.” With reluctance he complies, unable to deny you anything. You gaze down at him with the same expression he failed to recognize earlier, the one that seems to illuminate your features from within, and he peers up at you in confusion.
“I didn’t stop because you were doing something wrong.” You’ve read him correctly again, and his heart skips a beat in anticipation. “I stopped because there are too many clothes between us.” Reaching down, you loosen his cravat, then reach for the top button of his shirt. In panic, his hands cover yours and you freeze. “Too much?”
“No,” Ray answers with no hesitation. Because it’s not too much – it’s not enough, truth be told. He wants nothing more than to feel your bare skin against his, but… “I...I don’t want to...disappoint you.”
You laugh in disbelief. “Disappoint me? How could you ever?”
“I’m...my body isn’t...I’m too thin. I don’t have muscles, I’m just an ugly, skinny-”
“Stop,” you command, a tinge of anger in the word. Being the cause of that anger is like a dagger in his chest. All he wants to do is make you happy, and all he’s accomplishing is the complete opposite. “Hey,” you cajole, your hands moving up to frame his face. “I’m sorry, but hearing you speak about yourself that way – especially when it’s untrue – saddens me, Ray. You’re beautiful – all of you is beautiful. I don’t care how your body looks, all I want is the pleasure of seeing every inch of the man I love.”
Hot tears escape the outside corners of his eyes, leaving a wet trail along his temples to soak the ends of his hair. Love for you swells in his breast, and he cups your face, and raises his head to place a soft kiss against your lips. “Thank you,” he whispers, his breath mingling with yours.
“For what?”
“Loving me...accepting me...understanding me. You’re the only person who has ever really seen me.”
“Oh, Ray. You don’t have to thank me for that. You’re just as worthy of love as anyone.”
Hands return to the collar of his shirt and begin undoing the fastenings, your mouths a hair’s width apart. Slowly you make your way down, giving him the opportunity to stop you as each inch of flesh is uncovered. Finally, you spread the material wide, exposing his bare torso to the room’s cool air.
Your fingers trail along his chest to his abdomen and back up, a look of wonder on your face. “You are beautiful, Ray, inside and out.”
His face flushes at your compliment, and he opens his mouth to refute it, but it snaps shut as you grasp the hem of your shirt to pull it over your head. Unable to resist, his eyes fall to your breasts, taking in the vision of your body so unabashedly exposed to him. The twin mounds are full and perfectly shaped, the dark pink tips taut and begging for attention. Afraid to move, he remains motionless, waiting for you to tell him what to do next.
Instead you bend down and press your body against his, and the heat that suffuses him makes him fear he’ll combust on the spot. Your mouth travels across his jaw, to his neck where you nip lightly at the sensitive spot beneath his ear. He jumps at the unfamiliar sensation, and feels you smile against him.
“May I confess something?” you whisper in his ear, and his body tingles. Nodding, his hands move to your back and trace the length of your spine, marveling at the softness of your skin. “Sometimes, after spending all day with you, I come back here and lay awake thinking about what it would feel like to be with you this way.”
“So do I,” Ray admits, feeling it unfair for you to bare your heart to him and he not do the same. Even though the strong feelings he’s had for you are embarrassing, he suddenly wants you to know just how much he’s longed for you.
The heat of your breath sighing in his ear evokes a shiver of pleasure to shoot from his head all the way down to his toes. “Do you...think of me when...you touch yourself?”
Yes, always. Since the day he met you, there hasn’t been a single instance of him pleasuring himself where you aren’t the star of his fantasies. Shame of using you in such a way always follows his release, and being here with you now, he feels that shame tenfold.
“I...yes,” he acknowledges, he eyes closing in mortification. “I’m sorry.”
The heat of your mouth leaves him as you straighten. Fingertips graze his cheek, and he chances a peek to gauge your reaction. To his bewilderment, a pleased grin graces your lovely face. “If you feel the need to apologize, then I probably should too,” you giggle. “I do the same,” you say in a mock whisper, and his lips twitch at your infectious humor. Your palms stroke his bare chest. “Now we don’t have to imagine anymore.”
You begin to make your way down his body, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses along his collarbone, down his chest, and across his stomach. Each one a brand of ownership upon his flesh, and by the time you begin unfastening his trousers, his boxers are damp and sticky from the precum leaking from his rigid member.
Your fingers hook into the waistband of his pants, and you pause to look up at him. “Alright?”
“Please.” He winces at the desperation in his voice, but you merely smile, and begin to tug.
Ray’s lower body lifts to allow the clothing to slide over his hips and down his legs. When he’s bare, your eyes drink in the sight of him. “You’re a redhead,” you gasp, your fingertips moving across the vermillion curls at the base of his cock.
“Yes, I hate it.” Instantly he regrets the venom drenched answer. You stare at him in shock, your hands moving from the part of him yearning for you, to rest on his naked thighs.
“I’m sorry.” Your apology only makes him feel worse, and he sits up to gather you in his arms.
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry,” he murmurs against your hair. “I bleach my hair, and color my eyebrows so I don’t look like-” He bites his tongue, his pulse hammering at his slip-up. “I shaved once...there...but it felt weird, so now I just try to avoid...looking.”
Pulling back to study him, you tilt your head and squint your eyes in concentration. “You’re already the most handsome man I’ve seen,” you comment, fingering the curls at his nape. “I bet you’d be even more so with red hair.”
Unfounded jealousy twists his gut at your observation. His brother’s face fills his vision, and he wonders what you would think of him. Would you find him more attractive? Would you find his outgoing personality and ridiculous humor appealing? If given a choice between the two of them, would you still choose Ray? He doubts it, and that doubt almost destroys him.
“What’s wrong?” You face is a mask of concern, and Ray realizes tears of frustration are trickling down his cheeks.
“Nothing,” he lies with a shake of his head, and slips his fingers into your hair to cradle your nape. There’s no reason to reveal he has a twin brother – no way you’ll ever need to know about him.
Pulling you into a gentle kiss, he drags you down to once again lay atop him. Eager, curious hands travel the length of your back and trace the curve of your ass before gripping the supple flesh with determination. Your soft moan at this action gives him the confidence to deepen your kiss, his tongue delving deep to stroke yours.
Gathering all his feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and timidness, he locks them away and allows the lust he’s been holding at bay to completely consume him. Wrapping his arms around your middle, he reverses your positions, then rests his weight on one forearm to hover above you.
He peppers your jaw with small kisses, making his way steadily to your neck. The tip of his tongue darts out to taste you, and his eyes close at the salty-sweet flavor. Moving down, he presses a kiss against your collarbone. In curiosity, he nips lightly at it, and his cock flexes at the delicious moan it wrenches from you.
His lips journey down further, exploring the swell of your breasts. “...so beautiful,” he breathes, and presses his open mouth on the curve of one flawless mound. “This can’t be real – I have to be dreaming.”
Your back arches as his hot breath fans across one taut nipple, and you moan. “If this is a dream, I never want to wake up.”
Experimentally, Ray flicks the tip of his tongue over the hard nub, and you gasp, fingers tangling in his white locks. Embolden by your response, he draws the peak into his mouth with the lightest of suction. The digits of his free hand come up to brush across the neglected bud, and his shaft throbs at the way your hips rock up against him.
“... more …” Your whimpered plea inflames his already heightened senses, and his fingers close around the nipple they’re teasing in a sharp pinch.
“Tell me what to do,” he pants, his breathing coming in shallow gasps of anticipation. “Whatever you want, my angel – I’ll do anything for you.”
Cupping his face, you urge him upwards to capture his mouth, your tongue gliding past his lips to stroke his with an urgency that matches the one racing through his veins. “Make love to me, Ray,” you beg, hands sliding down to grip his shoulders “Please...I need you inside me.”
With hurried movements, Ray helps you dispose of your bottoms, tossing them over his shoulder before positioning himself between your spread thighs. He wants so badly to please you – to be the man you seem to think he is. Doubt at his inexperience makes him pause, weight balanced on his outstretched arms.
“What...if I...do it wrong?”
A gentle smile curves your lips, and you reach up to caress his cheek. “There is no wrong way, my love. If you feel good, I feel good – and that’s all that matters.”
“But...I want you to...finish.” His face burns at being so blunt. Never has he had this sort of conversation with anyone – never had someone explain the physical love two people share. His knowledge is limited, but he needs to make you feel the wave of pleasure he knows comes at finding release.
“Don’t worry.” Reaching down, you take him into your hand, and his eyes flutter closed, jaw going lax with the sensation of your fingers wrapped around him. You stroke his length, and his hips follow your motion of their own volition. Your thumb passes over his slit, and he groans, opening his eyes to peer down into your lust-filled orbs. Biting your lip, you guide him to your dripping core. “We’ll learn how to please each other – together.”
The head of his cock glides inside you, and he bites his lip at the rapture that courses through him. Slowly, he presses forward, his length filling you inch by exquisite inch. Determined not to miss a moment of the tenderness in your expression, he resists the urge to again close his eyes.
Once fully ensconced in your heat, he pauses and drops his forehead to rest against yours. “I’m inside you,” he breathes in wonder, then releases a breathless, embarrassed laugh. “That was dumb to say, I’m so-”
“Shh.” You touch his mouth with the tips of two fingers, then tilt your head to press your lips against his. “It’s not dumb,” you assure him. “You are inside me, and it feels...amazing.”
“I love you.” The whispered declaration holds all the emotion he has for you, and with tears blurring his vision, he withdraws halfway from you before sinking back in with a small whimper.
Nails dig into his biceps as he finds a rhythm – hesitant and awkward at first, but the sounds you make each time he thrusts lead him where he needs to go. Soon, your bodies are moving together in fluid precision, your pleasurable moans combining to create a sensual melody that spurs your desire to a crescendo.
“Grab me behind my knee, and push my leg up,” you instruct breathlessly, and he doesn’t take the time overthink it, merely follows your direction.
“Like this?” The new angle allows him to penetrate you deeper than before, and the new sensation robs him of oxygen.
“P-perfect,” you stammer with a whimper, your hand snaking between your bodies to touch your pussy. “Thrust harder.”
Ray follows your instructions and is amazed at the noises it evokes from you. Glancing down, he watches as his cock pumps into you and your fingers work furiously between your legs. The combination appears to be building your pleasure, your body moving with his almost violently as the muscles of your cunt clench with each forceful thrust.
His arms quiver with the effort to hold himself up, his muscles unused to supporting his weight for so long. Just before they give out, he presses his body to yours and rolls over, groaning as your body sinks down to take him completely.
“I-is this okay?”
“Oh god, yes.” Planting your palms on his chest, you sit up, your pelvis grinding down against him. “...ah...Ray, touch me...please.”
With trembling hands, Ray runs his fingers along the curve of your waist, grasping in surprise as an unexpected wave of euphoria overtakes him. You whimper, and he begins to withdraw when you press them back against your flesh.
“Again,” you gasp, placing his hands on your breasts instead. “Here.”
At first uncertain, he weighs the perfectly rounded globes in his hands, but when you grasp his waist, hips undulating on and around him, instinct takes over and he brushes his fingertips along their taut peaks. Pinching lightly, he rolls them between his fingers, and the bliss in your reaction evokes a familiar tingle in his balls.
Oh god, no, not yet!
He moans your name, and you peer down at him, understanding in your hooded gaze. “It’s okay,” you soothe, taking one hand in yours and moving it between your legs. “Do you remember what I was doing before?” At his nod you demonstrate where to touch you, and his thumb grazes the small nub nestled where you lead him. “Rub there, then we’ll come together.”
“But what if I-”
“Trust me.” You bend down to press your lips to his. His thumb begins to move, and you release a loud moan, your body tensing as it continues to move above him. “There...don’t stop…”
The fingers of one hand tangle in his bleached locks, your mouth slanting over his to bestow the deepest kiss he’s ever experienced. He clutches your nape, holding you in place as he coils his tongue with yours, his small whimpers of pleasure combining with yours. His body thrusts up to meet yours, the inferno in his loins familiar yet oh so different.
“I love you,” he gasps, tearing his mouth from yours. “Don’t leave me, promise you’ll stay with me forever.”
You nod. “Yes, Ray, always....I’ll always be by your side. I love you, so much.”
Your declaration pushes him over the edge and he cries out into your mouth, his cock pulsing as it coats your twitching walls with his seed. Your pelvis grinds down on him in tight circles as your body tremors with pleasure.
“Look at me,” he pleads, pushing the hair from your forehead. “I want to watch you come undone for me.”
Your eyes meet his, and his words have their desired effect. Your body tenses then begins to convulse as your orgasm washes over you. As he observes, your eyes roll back as they close, and your forehead drops to his chest, his name flying from your mouth like a mantra.
When it’s done, you lay in the circle of his arms, your sweaty bodies stuck together like glue. Ray caresses your back, staring up at the ceiling, deep in thought. The reality of what’s just happened strikes a fear in him like no other.
Savior won’t like this, won’t like the fact you are now the most important thing in the world to him. She’ll send you away – or worse. It’s the worse that makes him sit up in panic, his hands framing your face as his intense gaze holds yours.
“Do you trust me?”
Your brows twitch in confusion, and you nod. “Yes, of course.”
Ray pauses for a moment, biting his lip with indecision. Finally he makes up his mind. “I...well, I think...things aren’t usually done this way….but...I don’t have a ring...I never thought….and we won’t have much money for a while….
“Ray.” Your fingers brush the back of his hand. “Are you...asking me to...leave here and marry you?”
“Yes.” The word falls from his mouth like a sigh, and the smile you bestow upon him makes his heart begin to race.
“Yes.” Your whispered answer makes him laugh in pure joy, his every nerve ending tingling.
“I’m not dreaming, right? This is real?”
“It’s real.” You lean forward and kiss him sweetly, your fingers combing through his curls.
You both start at the loud knock on the door, frozen in place with fear. Has Savior already discovered what you’ve done?
“Mr. Ray?” The deep voice of a senior Believer drifts from behind the thick wood, and Ray relaxes – marginally.
“Yes?”
“Savior is in need of you. You weren’t in your room, and she worries.”
Ray’s heart drops. He won’t be able to hide how he’s changed – how the love you have for him empowers him. “I-I...will to go her shortly. Thank you.”
You both rise from the bed and begin to dress. He notices your trembling fingers and clasps them tightly. “Don’t worry.”
“They’re going to separate us. Savior will never allow us to be together – it’s a distraction, and she’ll want me gone.”
“That won’t happen. Trust me, remember?” He pulls you into his arms and embraces you tightly, his lips grazing the top of your head. “No one is going to keep us apart. Pack your things – I’ll be back at nightfall, and we’ll leave this place.”
“But...what about the errands…?”
“I’ll take care of them and make the arrangements needed to leave. I can work faster alone. Please say you understand? I want you with me but…”
“I understand. Promise me you’ll come at nightfall?”
“On our love.”
You nod and stand on your toes to brush your lips against his. “Nightfall – I’ll be waiting.”
Ray pauses at the door, straightening his vest and jacket before opening the door and exiting with determination.
Well, well, well, look who grew a pair.
Shut up.
You know getting your dick wet doesn’t make you a man, marshmallow?
Don’t you ever get tired of insulting me?
Are you seriously going to betray the only person who’s given a shit about us?
For her? Absolutely. If she stays I fear what will happen to her, especially now. I can’t...go back to the way things were. And do you really want to spend the rest of your life hiding behind Savior’s skirts? Aren’t you supposed to be the strong one? Ray’s pulse thuds painfully in the hollow of his throat. Never has he had the courage to stand up so boldly to the other – it’s always been easier to simply give in. Take your destiny into your own hands – stop waiting for permission.
Silence answers him, but Ray can feel the seething anger of the other. He pauses for a moment before straightening his spine and instead of taking the left that would lead him to Savior’s chambers, he turns right – to the development room.
They have something – some one – to protect now, and there are preparations to be made.