Too much love will kill you.

by Rogue1987

Summary:

Freddie is running excessively late and Brian is getting really concerned as to where he could be.

When he finally finds him it's even worse than he had initially anticipated.

Notes:

So this is my first Queen fic and although I really ship the hell out of Roger x Freddie because of the soulmate bond they had, I wanted to make my first fic about Brian x Freddie. I really like the idea of them together and Brian tending to Freddie was something I had in my mind for some time now.
Rog and Fred are still soulmates here, just platonic ones.

Brian has a lot of repressed feelings for Freddie. This will be two chapters long, maybe three. I'm not sure yet.
I wanted the three of them to live together but it's pre-Queen so Deaky isn't here yet unfortunately. Roger and Freddie have their market stall and Brian is studying astrophysics. I'm not sure if I got the timeline right on this, I probably don't, so I'm leaving that a bit vague.

I just wanted the three of them living together while they were still Smile and not Queen.
So I guess it's a bit AU.

Chapter 1: Chapter 1.

London.

 

 

 

Freddie was running late. Now that was nothing new obviously, Freddie was always late to everything.
However tonight, something felt off to Brian about his friend's absence.
He knew that Freddie and Roger had spent the day at their shabby market stall selling their second-hand clothes but Roger had come home hours ago, getting ready for another big date which would likely result in nothing but a good shag at her place. Roger would sneak back home somewhere in the middle of the night, he never stayed the night. 

However, Freddie hadn't come home today, not even for dinner, which was troublesome.
Roger hadn't mentioned anything about it that afternoon and Brian hadn't asked because Freddie had a nagging habit of disappearing sometimes, but it was nearly eleven and he was still nowhere to be seen.
It was abnormal behaviour for him. Freddie always looked forward to Brian's Friday night cooking. 
He made one hell of a vegetarian Shepherds pie and Fred always dug in as if he'd been starving himself for it all day.
But tonight, Freddie had missed his infamous pie, which Brian then neatly cut in half and saved in the refrigerator so he could heat it up when Freddie came home. He made a pie for two, seeing how Roger usually ate out on Friday nights. He likely took his date to some cheap fish and chips stand because that was all he could afford.
Also, Roger hated all vegetarian food and stoically refused to try anything Brian cooked that didn't contain meat. Come to think of it, Brian never saw Roger or Freddie prepare anything other than sandwiches or cereal. Those dimwits could not even boil an egg properly, therefore he was the designated cook inside their flat. And the cleaning lady, their electrician, their plumber and so on. Those two were raised by wolves.  

Brian eventually gave up trying to concentrate on his homework and put his tedious physics textbook down, stood up and walked to the window, gazing out into the darkness of the drowsy, wet November night. No stars tonight, he thought, suddenly longing to see them and to bask in their comfort. 
It was freezing outside and he hoped that wherever Freddie was, he was somewhere inside a pub and not just wandering the streets like some crazy homeless person.
Freddie tended to walk around for hours to clear his mind and then lost track of time.
Sighing deep he looked five stories below, narrowing his eyes for any sight of his friend. There was very little movement in the streets aside from a few cars occasionally driving past and a few people strolling around with their dogs, carrying umbrellas.

He wished that Roger was home to scold him for being an overprotective mother hen. Also, Roger would probably have some clues as to where Freddie would have gone, seeing how those two were literally two peas in a pot.
Brian always felt like an outsider whenever it was just the three of them spending time together in their flat.
He didn't belong with them and often found himself envying their close relationship.
They would joke around, have bags of fun and were constantly planning something horrible while Brian was posing as their referee, their mother and their conscience all at once. He felt like the proverbial brakes that prevented them from driving their car off a cliff in their youthful idiocy.
Despite Freddie being older than Brian he often acted like a twelve-year-old whenever Roger was around. They even held prank wars sometimes where they would target not only each other but Brian as well. They brought out the absolute worst in each other and yet admittedly sometimes the best when it came to their music. 

Brian's favourite times in their flat were when he could get one of them alone and spend some quality time with them.
He and Freddie would play Scrabble together, write music and lyrics or have intense debates about whether there was more life in the universe or something deep like that. Freddie was considerably more interesting than Roger, he thought profoundly about the everyday things like Brian did and where Roger never seemed to have a care in the world, Freddie actually worried much like Brian.
About his voice, his teeth, whether their songs were original enough if the crowd was truly responding to Smile and if it had a future.
Still, Freddie was like the elusive white whale in a way. Brian had a feeling that not even Roger could truly read Freddie and know what was going on inside of his mind. Freddie was an enigma, every time you thought you had deciphered him, he shifted again, leaving you completely clueless. 
The eccentric flouncy singer was impossible to grasp. Even to Roger, who knew him better than anyone. Which was precisely what made Freddie so incredibly fascinating to Brian. 

When Brian was home alone with Roger he struggled to come up with subjects to talk about and things never got quite as interesting as hearing what was inside of Freddie's colourful mind.
Roger wasn't dumb mind you, in fact, he was quite brilliant in his own way and a genius on the drums, but he and Brian just couldn't find much common ground when it came to topics to talk about. Roger was much like the sun blaring warm, vibrant energy to everyone who needed it, whereas Brian was more like the moon. Quiet, distant, pensive and often trapped inside his own mind.

They didn't have the same interests ( aside from music ) so instead, they played Scrabble, watched movies a lot and had a good time together. Brian loved Roger to death, he felt like a little brother to him. They were quite close but Brian felt more connected to Freddie because they shared a similar mindset. Being more alike was also the reason why he clashed with Freddie ten times more than he did with Roger. They were both just as stubborn and could argue endlessly.
However, none of it was relevant because when Roger and Freddie were together ( and that was most of the time ) Brian felt completely overlooked and like an unwanted guest at a party. Neglected. A wandering stranger in his own home.
He knew they loved and appreciated him but occasionally he forgot about it.

Brian exhaled deeply and tore his gaze away from the window. He was going slightly mad. Rationally he knew that Freddie was probably just fine but he couldn't ignore the persistent knot in his stomach that constricted itself further around his heart with each minute that passed in Freddie's absence. Something was wrong. He could feel it.

After another gruelling minute of contemplating and debating his next move, he decided to throw all rational out the window and go outside to look for Freddie, he couldn't sit here and do nothing. He had to find him even if Roger would tease him for being overprotective for the rest of his days.

He frantically looked for his burgundy woollen coat, never remembering where he had left it as usual and found it on Freddie's bed. How it had ended up there was a mystery. Freddie always made fun of him for constantly losing his coat.
He took Roger's silver umbrella from their mouldy cupboard, put on his boots and shut the door behind him. Brian almost ran down the stairs, feeling his curls tickle against the side of his face with each step he took.

When he came outside it was even icier than it had been all day. The wind was cutting into Brian's neck like frozen needles and he cursed himself for forgetting to bring a scarf.
He wandered around aimlessly, going to all the places that he knew Freddie could go, even to Kensington market but there was no sight of him anywhere. He called his name a few times but his voice seemed to be stuck in the back of his throat.

Getting a bit lost he turned the corner and witnessed a scrimmage in the middle of the street. Someone was lying on the pavement while three men stood over him, kicking him hard, screaming something incoherent. Brian acted on instinct and ran over to help. If Roger had been there he would have told Brian not to be a blithering idiot and risk his life for a stranger like that seeing how self-preservation was Roger's forte, but Roger wasn't around so no one was stopping him.

''Oi leave him alone you bastards!!!'' Brian screamed frantically. The men looked up startled and stormed off when a siren wailed in the background. They probably thought Brian had brought the police with him but the siren was merely dumb luck.
When he made his way over to the figure on the sidewalk he felt his heart sink into his stomach. He knew that bright yellow jacket, those horrid purple platform heels. Oh God no, this couldn't be happening.

''Fred?'' Brian croaked out, feeling his quivering legs give out on him rapidly. He dropped the umbrella and fell beside his barely conscious friend, cradling him close to his chest.
''Oh Christ, what happened to you,'' he whimpered distraught, stroking the long dark hair out of his best friend's face. Gulfs of fierce protectiveness came over him like a twenty-foot tidal wave.
Freddie wasn't responding to him. His face was severely battered, his lip was split and bleeding and his eyebrow was seeping. His eyeliner had run down all over his cheeks. ''Fred! Hey, talk to me! It's Bri, I'm here all right, no one's going to hurt you again-ever,''
Freddie made a groaning noise but didn't open his eyes. Brian felt the rain pounding on both of them, drenching them, but right now he couldn't care less. ''Bri?'' Freddie sighed relieved, his voice so thin and soft that Brian barely recognized it.

''Yes it's me, I'm here. You're safe, I found you. Gods look at you. We have to get you to a hospital,'' Brian said astutely.
Freddie shook his head weakly. ''N-no, no hospital,'' sheer panic was palpable in that statement. Brian knew that Freddie was terrified of hospitals.
He stroked Freddie's wet cheek and felt his friend's hand squeeze insistent in his waist. ''I know Fred, but what choice do I have? You can have broken bones for all I know. I know you're scared but I'll stay with you the whole time all right?''

''N-no-please...I-I want R-Roger,''

That statement was like a kick in the guts. Brian shut his eyes and fought his tears. Of course, Freddie wanted Roger. He wasn't enough, he would never be enough as long as Roger was around.
When Freddie was scared he needed Roger. ''I don't know where he is Fred, he's out on a date again,'' Brian eventually managed to say, but he heard the stingy, bitter disappointment behind his words.

''That little slut,'' Freddie scolded a hint of amusement in his voice. Brian wasn't laughing. None of this was funny in any way. ''We have to get you up now before we both die of pneumonia,'' he decided.

''Drama-queen,''
''Shut it, come on I'm going to pick you up now all right? We have to get you out of this rain,''
''No hospital!'' Freddie insisted sharp, his ebony eyes laced with urgency and stubbornness.

Brian sighed deflated, knowing that Freddie would rather stay there lying on the pavement and die than go into a hospital. ''Fine, but you are going to the doctor tomorrow. I can patch you up the best I know how but you are seeing the doc first thing tomorrow morning you got it?''
Freddie smirked at him, before wincing in pain. ''Yes, mummy,''
Brian rose to his knees and lifted a wobbling Freddie into his arms as if he was carrying a baby. ''What are you-'' Freddie protested hotly.
''You can't walk, so I'm carrying you,''
''Don't be ridiculous, darling, I can walk! I'm not a bloody child,''
''You can't and if you argue with me I will take you to the hospital this instant,''
''That's-'' Freddie coughed a few times without covering his mouth, ''-manipulation dear,''
''Right now, I don't care about that. My priority is you and to get you home safely. So shut your fucking mouth and let me take you home unless you would like me to escort you to the nearest hospital bed,'' Brian snarled.

''But-''
''No Fred, that's enough. Can you please not fight me on this? Please. I'm tired of fighting. You could have been killed tonight and then the last thing I would recall about us was our argument from this morning. I'm sick of bickering about whether the sky is blue or green,''

Freddie shook his head. ''No, you're not. You love bickering with me, darling. That's why you keep doing it. And I love it too,''
Brian rolled his eyes, feeling overly exhausted all of a sudden. ''Fine, can you shut it now and let me take you home? Pretty please?''
Freddie was caving, Brian could tell. ''All right dear, take me home. My perfect little knight in shining armour,''

Brian knew that it was still a long way home and Freddie wasn't exactly light in his arms.
He contemplated putting him on his back for a piggyback ride but didn't want Freddie to think he was frail so he carried him to their flat, not counting the pauses he sometimes needed when Fred got too heavy.
His arms were aching and his muscles and tendons were howling at him for relief but Brian refused to give in. He was determined to get Freddie home himself. Freddie knew him well enough to never once comment on him taking a break during the long walk home.
He simply held the umbrella over both their heads and rested his head against Brian's neck. Warm air tickled against his Adam's apple now and then, giving Brian a feeling of warmth and closeness he craved after nearly losing Freddie that night.
He could have died, Brian was realizing this constantly.
What if Fred had died? Brian couldn't even afford to think about it and yet right now it was all he did.

Never hearing Freddie sing so lovely again was his worst nightmare. He had never heard a singing voice as beautiful and pure as Freddie's. He truly was unique and had the power to enchant you and lure you in with a single note.

Freddie's hand lingered around on his shoulder and was occasionally stroking and probing Brian's cheek, almost as if he sensed Brian needed to feel that Freddie was still alive, that he was safe and not going anywhere.
For once Freddie was not constantly babbling about something irrelevant, he was silent and calm, probably sensing that Brian longed for it.

Brian had so many questions about why Freddie had been on the streets in the middle of the night, why he hadn't come home and why he hadn't defended himself against his attackers considering his background as a boxer, but he knew that now wasn't the time.
Freddie needed peace and solitude, he would get his answers tomorrow or perhaps not at all. Freddie would probably tell Roger all about it but he doubted that he would ever tell him.

When Brian finally arrived back at their flat, he recalled that their building had no lift and that it would be a challenge to drag Freddie up five flights of stairs. Freddie gazed at him when Brian opened the front door, stepped into the hall and nudged his shoulder. ''You can't carry me up the stairs dear, you're exhausted,''
''Want to bet I can make it?'' Brian disputed.
''I'm sure you can, you're strong, however, I can manage. Put me down and you can take my waist if it makes you feel better. You have done enough for today my sweet,''
''Not enough Fred,''
''No, you only saved my life, how can that not be enough?'' Freddie asked sardonically.
''We agreed not to argue remember?''
''Yes, well you started it, love,''
''Did I know?'' Brian felt boiling anger rising in his chest. ''Don't Fred,'' he warned when Freddie opened his mouth to reciprocate.
Freddie leaned in and kissed his forehead, completely out of the blue, leaving a slightly dishevelled Brian standing there like a bloody gargoyle. ''What-''
''Thank you, Bri, for saving me. But you can let me down now, I can walk,''

Brian decided to comply, against his better judgement. He would have carried him all up against the endless stairs if Freddie asked it of him. Brian would do anything for him. Freddie was the light in his life. And tonight that light had nearly diminished forever.
He lowered Freddie down out of his arms and despite his tendons being grateful for the relief he strangely found himself missing the comfort and weight of his best friend.
Freddie's arm came around his waist and Brian slowly hauled him up the stairs, determined not to neglect the wheezing and panting noises that erupted from the smaller man beside him.

When they finally made it to the fifth floor, Brian-as usual- couldn't find his keys. His pockets were so full of papers and other clutter he refused to throw onto the street when he couldn't find a bin, that he could never find anything in there. He fumbled around for them and took so long that Freddie had come up with his own set and opened the door for him.
For once Freddie didn't pick on Brian for losing his keys. That was definitely not a good sign.
Brian didn't care for anomalies. Especially not when it came to Freddie.

Entering their small flat there was still no sign of Roger, his absence a relief as well as a nuisance to Brian.

Brian looked at the clock and noticed that it was a little after midnight. Roger wouldn't be home for hours. He sat Freddie down on their sofa and turned the heat up a bit. He put the kettle on the stove to make Freddie some tea. ''Fred, you should take a shower first, you're stone cold and could be hypothermic,''

Freddie's broken figure sat on the sofa, shivering and shaking like a leaf. ''You're cold too, Bri,''
Brian folded his arms together. ''I'm fine, I can shower later. You look like a drenched cat. Come on, I'll help you,''
Freddie was too tired to fight Brian on this and folded instantly.

He let Brian escort him to their small bathroom and sat down on the toilet seat, wheezing hard as Brian turned on the shower to get some heat into the room.
Then Brian pressed a damp shower cloth to Freddie's face to stop the bleeding. The rain had washed away most of the blood and eyeliner along the way but Freddie's clothing was smeared with it and Brian even noticed a few droplets of blood on his coat when he had taken it off.
He pressed down harder than he wanted at Freddie's lip to stop the bleeding.
His mum's mandatory first aid course that he had hated so much was finally paying off, he mused. 
Freddie winced at the pressure but didn't say anything and let Brian take care of him. ''Sorry, I know it hurts,''

''It's fine, it's nothing,'' Freddie mumbled stoically. Brian gazed at him in awe. It wasn't normal for anyone to be this resilient. He admired Freddie, he always had. He wasn't sure if he had ever told him that out loud. Perhaps he should, especially tonight.
But a persistent lump formed in his throat that prevented him from speaking. He was afraid it would cost him too much if he were honest about his feelings.

''Can you lift your arms for me?'' Brian quipped, nodding at Freddie's shirt.
Freddie fumbled around with the fabric but didn't have the strength to get his arms all the way up. ''I'll help,'' Brian supported Freddie's arms and carefully removed the silk green shirt off his chest.
''Good, trousers?'' Brian tried not to notice the boot-shaped bruises that covered Freddie's lower abdomen and certain areas of his back. Freddie fumbled with his button and zipper but got his pants off by himself, albeit with great difficulty. Brian knew he couldn't help, not unless he asked him to. Freddie was one proud bitch. 
The singer removed his underwear without blinking and Brian resisted the urge to look away at his full nakedness.
He knew that would surely offend Freddie, also it was nothing he hadn't seen many times before. Roger and Freddie were quite exhibitionistic, they wandered around half-naked or fully naked all the time, particularly in the summer when their flat got too hot.

Brian, however, was very shy about his body, he felt that he was far too skinny and was not always comfortable about his looks. But seeing them like this was nothing new. Tonight though, it felt different. Maybe because Roger wasn't around, flaunting himself shamelessly beside Freddie.

Freddie rose to his feet and tried to scuffle himself under the water but lost his balance and nearly crashed to the floor. Brian caught ahold of him just in time, arms firm around his slender waist. ''You cannot do this alone Fred, you need help or you might crack your skull,''
''Don't be so dramatic, darling,''

''You either shower with me or not at all Fred, I didn't save you so that you can die in our bloody shower,''
Freddie grimaced at him, a familiar sly grin displayed over his face. ''That sounds like a clever way to get into my pants dear,''
''Which pants?''
Freddie laughed hard, then cringed in pain. ''Touché, bastard,''
Brian heard the kettle chiming in from the kitchen. ''Tea is ready,'' Freddie noted, quite unnecessary. ''I can hear that genius,''
''You really should turn the stove off,''

''Sit down on the toilet then,''
''Yes, doctor May,''
''Put your hands against the wall to stabilize yourself, I don't want you falling or passing out,''
''I'm fine Bri, Jesus. Get the fucking tea!''

Brian stormed off into the kitchen and turned off the gas. When he stepped back into the shower Freddie was still sitting there, upright, looking rather bored. ''See?''
''Shut up, hold on I'm getting us some dry clothes,'' Brian went into their bedrooms to rummage around for some sweats, towels and warm sweaters. When he came back Freddie was humming a song he didn't recognize.

Brian undressed quickly, feeling the preening dark eyes rest on him as he bared himself. He didn't dare to look up and meet Freddie's gaze, he wasn't ready for it. Tonight had unveiled a lot of feelings that he had spent so long trying to bury. He left his underwear on and thankfully Freddie didn't comment on it. Brian hooked his arm together with Freddie's and gently shuffled him under the warm water.
He watched it engulf Freddie's hair and saw his friend's eyes fall closed in enjoyment of the warmth. Freddie was a born water baby. He could spend hours in the shower and Brian knew that if they had a bathtub he would use it every night.
Brian was still a bit cold, seeing how Freddie was claiming most of the narrow stream of water. The pressure had always been quite awful. Freddie rinsed himself quickly with some shower gel and Brian simply stood there beside him, supporting his waist and holding his arms.

Then Freddie suddenly stepped aside, nudging Brian into the stream. ''You're shaking Bri,'' he whispered huskily. His eyes were darker than ever and heavy-lidded.
The tension was rising between them and Brian felt his heartbeat pounding in his chest. This was a bad idea, he should get out while he still could, but it was too late to run. ''I'm fine,'' he retorted meekly, swallowing hard.
Freddie reached up and caressed his cheek lovingly. ''You're not dear, you look more broken than I am,''
Brian resisted the ferocious urge to press his head further into Freddie's touch, more contact was a really bad idea. ''We should get out, and make tea,'' Brian deflected, feeling pleased that he didn't get those words mixed up. 
Freddie surpassed a small smile. ''All right then, keep your secrets,''
Brian cleaned himself as fast as he could and turned the water off the first chance he got.
He handed Freddie a towel and dried his back for him. When they were both dry and Brian helped Freddie into his clothing he dragged him to the living room and put him on the sofa, placing a warm silver plaid that belonged to Roger on top of him, hoping that Roger's scent might help Freddie even if he wasn't there physically.

He prepared their tea and placed the mugs on the coffee table, searched his bedroom for the first aid kit and sat down beside Freddie, handing him his steaming mug. ''Is there enough milk in this?'' Freddie quipped. ''Yes, I do occasionally pay attention to what you two are eating and drinking,'' Brian snorted sarcastically.
''Thank you,'' Freddie took a few sips and smiled blissfully. ''Perfect,''
''Good,'' Brian grabbed his mug and took a few languid sips, only now noticing how dry his throat had been.

After a comfortable silence, Brian saw that Freddie's mug was empty and got up to make him another one, not even bothering to ask if he wanted it or not. Freddie had to drink. And maybe eat something. ''Are you hungry?''
''A bit, why? Do you have food?''
''Of course, I saved your piece of the pie,''
Freddie's eyes lit up. ''You did?!''

Brian shook his head in disbelief. ''Sometimes I wonder if you two even know me at all,''
''Of course, we know you, darling, don't be silly,''
''It's Friday Fred, we always eat Shepherds pie together Friday-remember?''
''Course I remember silly,''
''You didn't come home for dinner, so I saved your piece,''
''God just fucking marry me Bri, you're perfect,'' Freddie pleaded dramatically, sounding a lot more like himself than he had all night.
Brian ignored the tug at his heart and smirked. ''You wish,''

He turned the oven on and brought the second cup of tea to Freddie. As they waited for the oven he assessed Freddie's wounds. He put some plasters on the cuts that were now only mildly bleeding and checked Freddie for broken ribs.
He said his ribs ached a bit but Brian didn't think they were broken. Freddie's head was hurting and Brian worried he might have a concussion.
He was still going to a doctor first thing in the morning, Brian reminded him.

After Freddie had eaten his pie in content silence and complimented him for it, Brian took him to bed. He placed Freddie onto the soft mattress and covered him with the duvet. Freddie grinned and pulled on his arm and Brian tumbled on the bed beside him. ''Fred quit fooling around, you need to sleep,''
''Stay,'' Freddie begged desperately, no longer laughing now but looking dead serious and incredibly lonely.
''What?''
''Please stay with me,''
''Why?'' Brian blurted out tactlessly.
''I don't-want to be alone. I'm scared and-well you always make me feel safe,''

Yes until Roger comes home, then you will want him and not even see me anymore, Brian thought bitterly. Pure cold-blooded waves of jealousy were coursing through his system.
Still, Freddie could have a serious concussion and if he did he shouldn't be left alone. He had to be monitored.
Until Roger would arrive Brian shouldn't leave him. God damn, Freddie, he thought furiously.

Brian climbed under the duvet and rolled to his side, facing Freddie. ''Happy now?'' he grumbled.
Freddie shrugged. ''Still cold,'' he complained, his big eyes gleaming.
''Come here then,'' Brian heard himself say, even though it felt like a stranger spoke through him. He opened his arms invitingly and Freddie snuck into his personal space travelling at the speed of light, wrapping himself around Brian like a baby chimpanzee clinging to its mother.
Freddie hummed in delight when he was in Brian's proximity, dropping his head firmly against Brian's collarbone, his lips ghosting over Brian's skin. Freddie had always been touchy, not just with him but with Roger and everyone else he met, but tonight Brian felt that something else was lingering in the air, even if he couldn't name it yet. 

Brian couldn't come up with one coherent thought when Freddie was lying there like that, blatantly seducing him whether he meant to or not. And Brian was so tempted now, to lean in and press his lips against Freddie's inviting mouth.
His lips looked silky soft and luscious. He wanted to give in so badly, he craved it even if he had properly denied his feelings all this time, but he was a damn coward and always had been. Brian continued to masquerade his true feelings, knowing they would never be reciprocated by Freddie.
He had acknowledged his fate long ago and shoved all his feelings away in some remote corner of his mind, throwing away the key. But as Freddie lay there, so close to him, the key no longer seemed to exist. And for one precious moment, Brian couldn't find one real objection to giving in to his feelings for Freddie.

That was until he heard the front door open and Roger stepped inside. Right there, that was his one solid reason why Freddie could never love him back.

Roger. Bloody Roger. Always Roger. He was a constant reminder of what Brian could never have.

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC......

Chapter 2: Chapter 2.

Summary:

Roger's home and new revelations are made.

Notes:

Sorry for not updating this quicker guys. I was busy yesterday. But first of all I'm super thankful for all the amazing feedback this story received so far, kind of surprised at it too. It really means a lot to me. I was super nervous about writing this and still am tbh.

I hope you'll like this chapter! Roger is here and he's a lot sharper than Brian wishes he was.
He sees more than he knows.

Brian.

 

 

 

 

Upon Roger's not-so-silent arrival, they heard him rummage around in the kitchen, probably making himself a midnight grilled cheese. Brian slowly attempted to disentangle himself from Freddie's death grip.
Or so he thought. Freddie was remarkably strong and stubbornly refused to budge or loosen his arms. He only snuggled deeper against Brian's chest and hummed happily. ''What are you doing dear?''
''Leaving,''
''Why would you do that?''
''Roger's home,''
''I noticed from all the fucking racket. Well, either that or we have a burglar in our midst,'' Freddie snorted, sounding very astute. ''And?''
Brian shifted uncomfortably, but Freddie still would not budge. ''So I have no point in being here do I? You wanted Roger so I'll fetch him for you,''

Freddie rolled his eyes in that typical manner that told Brian that he was in for a lecture or a prissy tirade. Or both. ''Don't be so fucking ridiculous Bri, you're comfy, I'm comfy and warm for the first time tonight. You're not going anywhere, I won't fucking let you,''
''But Rog-''
''Can join us if he wants but you are leaving this bed when hell freezes over,'' Freddie howled, warning lingering in his words.

A knock on the door scared both of them shitless. ''Fred? Sorry to wake you but have you seen Bri? He isn't in his room, the door was wide open,''

''Come in,'' Freddie told their blond drummer, who entered the bedroom and whose jaw positively dropped when he saw Brian lay in bed with Freddie. He covered his eyes as if he'd walked in on them having sex and mumbled, ''Oh fuck, sorry I'll uh-go,''
The lack of light in the room led him to some conclusions that really weren't true but Brian was a little lost on how to salvage the situation, not that it mattered because his ability to speak seemed to have evaporated in the blink of an eye.

''Rog darling, do come in, it's not at all what you think. Turn the light on,'' Freddie ordered sharp.
Roger frantically searched for the light switch-which told Brian that he was once again drunk as fuck from the cheap wine he drank and flicked it on, only to gasp when he saw the state Freddie was in.
''Oh, holy fuck! What the fuck happened to you? Jesus,'' he stormed over to the bed and Brian felt Freddie's presence leave him before his actual body did. The arms released him finally, only to leave a massive emptiness behind. Brian just could not fucking win.

Roger sank into the shitty mattress beside Freddie and Brian heard the foundation creak.
The bed wasn't suited for the weight of three grown men. Roger looked positively wracked with anguish and guilt, seeing his best friend in his horrid state.

His big turquoise eyes were gleaming in the weak evening light. Brian could tell he was about to burst out in tears.
Roger's hands slowly ghosted over Freddie's face, studying and investigating his wounds. He took Freddie into his arms and held him so tight to his chest that Brian heard Freddie wince in pain. ''Careful Rog, his ribs hurt,'' he warned, voice husked.

Roger was bursting out in his panic, erupting like a scorching volcano. ''What the fuck happened? And why didn't you take him to a bloody hospital Bri? Look at him! He needs a hospital, how stupid are you-''
''Oi stop that! Don't you dare turn on him,'' Freddie chided, taking Brian's side for once. ''I told him that I wasn't going to a hospital, you know how I hate them. He tried to take me but I refused. We're going to see a doctor in the morning, that was what we agreed on-all right?''

Roger wasn't looking very convinced. His furious gaze still tore a hole into Brian's heart. ''I should have been here, I have more medical knowledge than the two of you combined,'' he choked out distraught.

''Yes but you weren't here, as usual, I was. I took care of him the best I could so if you have a problem with it you can-'' Brian retaliated but thankfully Freddie jumped in to stop their bickering. This was probably for the best because Brian was ready to burst and say a lot of nasty things to Roger that could have never been unsaid or apologized for. Words were permanent.

''Darlings don't fight please, dearie me, I don't have the strength to play referee tonight,'' Freddie stressed. ''I was attacked Rog, three blokes kicked the shit out of me.
And then Brian suddenly found me in the middle of it, I don't know how he knew where I was but he scared them off. He carried my heavy arse all the way home. So don't fucking dare talk to him like that, he took care of me,''
''When I couldn't because I was out being a whore-right?'' Roger growled, filling in Freddie's sentences for him. Brian knew that Freddie hated it when he did that.
Hell, he hated it when Roger did that, made him feel even more excluded from them.

Freddie exhaled deeply, stroking Roger's long blonde hair out of his face, tugging it behind his ear. ''I never said that. I would never call you a whore, you know that. A little slut maybe but not a whore since no one's paying you for your services. Maybe you should start charging them, make some extra pounds,''
Roger chuckled at that. Freddie pursued, ''But honestly, you only make me proud by devouring women as you do. The world would be a much happier place if people just shagged more,''

Brian shook his head and couldn't withhold a sarcastic snort.
Two pairs of eyes turned on him smirking mischievously, telling Brian that they would surely whine about his lack of a love life now. ''You're just disagreeing with us because you never get laid,'' Roger teased, smirking sardonically.
''Well you can't get laid if you never leave the sodding house, Rog,'' Freddie tuned in, although Brian could tell he was only saying it to assure Roger that he was doing fine. There was no real venom behind Freddie's words, that wasn't in his nature, to be cruel.
''I leave the house,'' Brian nonetheless said, sensing that Roger needed this debate.
He thrived on them, even more than he and Freddie did. Roger's day wasn't complete without a buckload of stinking cigarettes, booze, women and a good discussion.
''Yes for school, groceries and to go to your parent's place,'' Roger shook his head as if he couldn't believe that Brian could be this dull.

Truth was that Brian was just a very homey person, he loved spending time in their flat, reading books, writing songs on his guitar, and watching a good movie. And unlike Freddie and Roger, Brian actually liked being alone, it helped him clear his mind from his complex studies and his noisy roommates who played their instruments at all hours of the day.
He wasn't very fond of clubbing or going on dates every Friday.

Freddie sometimes sweetly called him their housewife and in a way it was true.
He even liked doing the household chores, though he would never admit that aloud, knowing that Freddie, but mostly Roger would take full advantage of him if he did. Roger was dead lazy in the house, he never did the dishes or his laundry, and he wouldn't even pick up his dirty socks or throw his towel in the hamper. He was like a spoiled child sometimes.

''So what happened? Why were you attacked?'' Roger inquired tentatively, brushing off his ''pesky little bugger'' mask and changing back into being Freddie's best friend like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly.
The incredibly kind, clever, sweet boy that would only come out a few times a day.
Brian loved this side of Roger the most, the one who would go to hell and back to protect him and Freddie.
Roger was fiercely protective of his older friends.
He acted all tough and naughty but Brian knew better. Behind that sarcastic, dramatic, bitchy exterior was the most lovely man. Roger looked up to him and Freddie and despite all his endless moaning at them, he would do anything for them if they asked it of him, literally anything.
He was one of the most loyal men that Brian had ever known. If you were his friend he would kill for you.

The blonde's hand rested on top of Freddie's and Brian decided to shuffle against Freddie's back, supporting him with his body and hopefully with his heart too. He folded an arm around Freddie's chest, half hugging him from behind. He felt Freddie's head nuzzle against his sternum and smiled to himself.
It felt good to know that he was needed too.
Freddie coughed and wheezed a few times and Roger went to the kitchen to fetch him a glass of water. ''Take it easy you blithering idiot,'' he snapped when Freddie spilt some water over his chin. When Freddie put the glass down he took hold of Brian's hand.
Brian felt how clammy, cold and sweaty it was and he knew Freddie was nervous about telling them what happened. ''Perhaps now isn't the right time for these types of questions Rog,''

''N-no, I can do it,'' Freddie protested weakly. Brian was once again in awe of how formidable Freddie could be. He had never once complained about being in pain or being afraid.
However, right now, his priority was not straining Freddie any further than he had been all night. His protective mother-hen instincts were emerging rapidly. ''I'm sure you can but you don't have to. You were attacked, the whole how and why, well that can wait-right, Rog?'' Brian conveyed Roger with a sharp, warning death glare.

''Oh-right, of course,'' Roger didn't dare dispute it, which was new. For once they immediately saw eye to eye, clearly both putting Freddie's interest over an argument.

Freddie, however, ignored them and told them anyway. ''Let's say it was just a bunch of pissed-off homophobes darlings,''

''Those fucking monsters! I'm going to fucking rip their lungs out!'' Roger gritted through his teeth, cheeks reddening in anger, fists balling.
He was very close to smashing something, he had that crazy, bewildered look in his eyes that usually meant the brutal ending of a plate, a glass, his drumsticks or even once the antique bowl that had been Roger's mum's.
Although in retrospect that one had been an accident, Roger had been swinging for something else but was too drunk to see what he was doing.

''Don't touch my piano darling,'' Freddie warned him, conveying his precious instrument that stood proudly at the edge of his bed. ''I wasn't-''
''Yes, you were Blondie,''
''Was not!'' Roger protested but Brian knew it was evident that he was lying. He'd seen Roger ogling it. ''You were,''
''E tu Brutus?'' Roger sighed. ''I won't touch the piano Fred, promise,''
''Good boy, now lay down. I need to sleep,''
''What here?'' Roger blinked, gaping at the small bed which was barely wide enough for two, let alone three people.

''Why not?'' Freddie asked, voice wavering and volatile. ''I don't think the bed can take that much strain, Fred,'' Roger disputed, chewing thoughtfully on his lower lip.
''Try, if it breaks we'll buy a new one,''
''It's all right, I'll go,'' Brian suggested reluctantly, knowing that none of them had the money to replace a bed right now.

Freddie's fingers instantly bore hard into his forearm, bruising his skin. ''Don't you fucking dare leave me tonight, you're staying, period,'' A warm feeling settled in Brian's heart, engulfing his entire system, making him feel happier than he had been in a long time. ''I'll just go,'' Roger said, but Freddie wasn't having it. He pulled Roger onto the bed in front of him and snorted, ''Don't be so fucking ridiculous dear,''

The bed was squeaking ominous and Brian was convinced they would crack through it in a matter of minutes.
But Freddie was super stubborn and they both knew that whatever Freddie wanted he would get, especially tonight in his hurt state. They would give him anything he asked for and he would happily take full advantage of that.
So Roger was being spooned by Freddie while Brian held onto him.
Freddie was clearly happy about being sandwiched and Brian was enormously grateful that Roger didn't make some twisted threesome joke as he had expected him to do. That would have made him uncomfortable.

''Hmmm, I love you guys,'' Freddie cooed, sounding drowsy with sleep, voice laced with affection.

Brian's left hand reached out for Roger's elbow and gently squeezed it, his other hand entwined with Freddie's.
The blonde patted his arm, flashing him a small smile. ''We love you too Freddie,'' Roger croaked, clasping Freddie's arm around his waist for dear life. ''So-so much,'' Brian agreed.
He resisted the urge to lean over and peck Freddie's cheek, unsure of why he was holding himself back. Freddie surely wouldn't mind a kiss and Brian wanted to do it, but Roger was holding him back, tying him up in his mind, constraining him with invisible handcuffs.

Freddie continuously demanded to hear that he was loved, he literally asked them a few times a day whether they still loved him or not. If he and Brian had words he would come back afterwards, face all teary and remorseful and ask Brian if he still loved him. If he wasn't mad at him or hated him. Freddie needed a lot of validation, probably due to his problematic, loveless childhood.
He wasn't that close to his parents, they had a pretty distant relationship because Freddie had been sent off to boarding school when he was very young. As a result, Freddie had been constantly chasing after love from everyone he met. It was like a drug to him.
While Roger was always looking for more sex and attention, Freddie only craved pure love, being a true romantic at heart. Staying alone for the rest of his life was his worst nightmare.

Brian's absolute greatest fear was that he would never find anyone who was irreplaceable and valuable to him like Freddie, therefore making him miserable and lonely until the end of his days.
Brian was not gay, rationally he knew that. He had always liked women and had never been attracted to men. That was until he had met Freddie and everything changed for him. Brian was only ever attracted to Freddie.
The day he had met him had flipped his entire world upside down, Fred had crashed into his life like a comet, hot and unstoppable. Inevitable. Brian had been lost since the first time he'd laid eyes upon Freddie. He was the most beautiful man he'd ever seen.
Those massive dark chestnut eyes, that enormous infectious smile that lit up rooms instantly. His overall exotic, alluring and flamboyant look, but Brian fell most of all for his gigantic heart and limitless charisma.

Freddie pulled people in with a simple glance, a wink, a twirl of his hips. Even on stage when they performed with Smile, people were drawn to him like moths to a flame.
He unknowingly demanded all eyes on him as if it was the most natural thing in the world. 
Brian got so lost in that, he occasionally missed a chord on his Red Special during their gigs because he was so fixated on staring at Freddie in sheer adoration. Freddie often said that he would not just be a rockstar, he would be a legend and neither Brian nor Roger could find any rational arguments to dispute it.
When Freddie was on stage he made everyone in the crowd feel connected to him.
He had the power to make them feel less bad about their problems and to put big grins on their faces. He was like pure sunshine on a cold winter day.
Brian felt forever grateful to have Freddie in his life even if he would never love him back. Just being his friend was worth it.

As he felt himself doze off into some much-needed sleep he noticed that Freddie was already breathing deep and steady, indicating that he was fast asleep.
Roger, however, was still awake and surely longing for a fag, he always smoked in his bed. Brian was half convinced he would still be smoking during his sleep. ''Night Rog,'' Brian whispered. ''Night Bri,'' came the soft remark.

Brian succumbed to a deep slumber within seconds. He couldn't recall the last time he had been so warm and comfortable in a bed that wasn't his own.
Let alone a narrow bed that contained two other lads. But still, Brian slept, with Freddie safely tugged away in his arms.

When he woke up he blinked a few times. His head was killing him as if he had received Roger's hangover from last night and he groaned softly, clasping onto his scalp. He felt that Freddie still lay in front of him, breathing even. When he reached further down he noticed that Roger was gone.
That was strange, he had expected Roger to be fast asleep, trying to detain the hangover that was standard for him every Saturday morning. He usually never left his bed before it was long after lunchtime.
Roger became fucking unbearable if he didn't get enough sleep so Brian wasn't looking forward to his grumpy mood when he found him. He could only hope Roger had gone back to his bed to sleep it off.
He leaned over Freddie studying his mangled face for a moment and stroking his cheek as light as he could without waking him. Freddie was really warm, he probably had a fever, he worried. He ought to tell Roger about it.
Then he slipped out of the bed, covered Freddie with the duvet and wandered toward the kitchenette.

Roger was hunched in the window frame, legs pulled up to his chest smoking a fag under the open window, knowing that Brian didn't condone smoking inside without airing the house properly, no matter how cold it was. He hated that his friends smoked like chimneys.
Staring at the clock he noticed that it was barely ten minutes past seven. ''What are you doing up?'' he asked curiously.

Roger shrugged deflated and Brian noticed the redness in his eyes that indicated that he had been crying not too long ago. He crossed the distance to him sat beside him and hugged him fiercely. ''What's the matter, Rog?''
Roger shook his head against his shoulder. Brian felt dampness spread through his shirt. ''Talk to me, hmm? Roger?''
Brian slid his hands over Roger's back soothingly but felt powerless to do much more for his mate.
Roger didn't very cry often but when he did an invisible dam opened itself and he could be upset for hours. Brian wished Freddie was up, he could take care of Roger much better than he ever could.

''I should have protected him,'' Roger blurted out after he had somewhat composed himself. ''I shouldn't have left him, he said he was meeting someone after work but I had a bad feeling about it. He didn't tell me who he was seeing, which was strange so I was a bit worried.
But I ignored it and went on my date anyway, like the selfish prick I am. I should have asked more and should have been there to make sure no one hurt him. I had this stone in my gut the entire night you know?
As if I knew he'd-I sensed something was off you know? So I left her place and came straight home. I was so flustered I even forgot to bring him a box,''

Brian rolled his eyes at that last statement. ''I told you to stop doing that! It's downright serial killer creepy,''
''What? Freddie likes little boxes to put his stuff in, so I bring him one as a souvenir. You know that,''
''It's still stealing-and real frigging weird. Bringing him old jewellery boxes like trophies,''
''He loves them and I don't take the actual jewellery, I only bring him unused old boxes!''
''Well, that makes it fine then,''
''It's not that strange,'' Roger shrugged. ''Ummm I would love to agree with you but you're making that quite impossible for me,''
''Well why don't you report me to the police then,'' Roger snapped defiantly. He pressed his neglected, long burnt cigarette stub out in the ashtray and lit another one instantly.
''Really? Can I fetch you some more champagne too, princess? Perhaps a nice little back rub,'' Brian couldn't temper his anger, not pinpointing precisely where it was coming from. Snorting loud Roger gave him the finger. ''Fuck you,'' he blew out a pristine, provocative circle of smoke straight in Brian's face. ''How's Fred?''

Brian barely managed to hold himself back from punching Roger in the face for pushing his boundaries like that but eventually managed to sustain his anger. Where Roger had the patience level of a petulant child, Brian was a dignified genius at it. A good thing too with his roommates.
''I think he has a fever. He's still sleeping. He needs a doctor and preferably a hospital,''

Roger glared at him, a pensive look in his stormy sea-blue eyes. ''I'm sorry Bri,''
''For what?''
''What I said last night, for blowing smoke in your face. For always pissing you off. I know we're like two annoying kids most of the time but we couldn't do any of this without you, you know,'' Roger said solemnly.

Brian's jaw dropped as he gazed at his friend, any coherent words lost.
Roger was in a very strange mood. Probably still half-drunk and upset from what happened to Freddie he shifted from being an annoying bastard to a sweet boy in the blink of an eye. ''It's all right,'' he reassured Roger, patting his arm awkwardly.

''It's not. None of this is all right. Fred could have died last night and-''
A stone-cold shiver went over Brian's spine, filling his lungs with ice water. ''Hey, don't say things like that. He is fine, he's alive. You're not going to lose him,''

''We won't lose him, not just me. But what about you?''
''What do you mean?''
''Did you tell him?''
Brian exhaled loudly, mountains of questions piling up in his head. What the fuck was Roger going on about. ''Tell who what?''
''Fred, did you tell him how you feel?''
A hand twisted itself around Brian's heart as ice water seeped through his veins. ''How I feel about what?'' he said evasively.

Roger abruptly put his fag out, took hold of Brian's hands and leaned in a bit. He looked more sincere and serious than Brian had ever seen him. ''About him-dummy. I'm not just a pretty face Bri, I see more than you think. I know you love him, you always have,''

Well, that was not at all what Brian expected Roger to say. How had he even noticed it? Was it truly that obvious to everyone around him? Did Freddie know about it too? Brian felt paranoia rising in his chest. He had massively underestimated Roger, that much was painfully clear to him. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks and looked out the window, the very idea of looking at Roger now simply unbearable.
Roger took ahold of his face and forced him to look him in the eye. ''Stop hiding. It's all right. I've known for a long time. Longer than you probably, you're the king of denial,''

''I'm not gay Rog,'' he said cagey.
''I know that, but you are in love with Freddie,''
Brian lifted his shoulders helplessly. ''What's the point?''
''I'm sorry?'' Roger asked, bemused, blinking fervently.

''There's no point, I can't go for it,''
''Why the hell not?''
''I'm not his sodding soulmate, am I? You are,'' Brian said dejectedly.
Roger stared at him with a mixture of amusement and sheer pity. ''I hope you're joking! You can't seriously be intimidated by me?''

''And why shouldn't I be?''
''Because I'm one hundred per cent straight dimwit!''
''So am I, but Fred's special!''
''Yeah but not to me, well he's special to me obviously, but not like that. Oh, you poor fucking bastard, you've been jealous of me this whole time? That's the saddest thing I've ever heard,''
''Shut up Rog,'' Brian felt completely ludicrous. He was so ashamed and fought the urge to climb into a dark hole and pretend this whole day never happened.

Roger pressed down hard on his hands, fixating his gaze profoundly on Brian's, demanding him to look at him. ''Listen, I know you can't stand the whole soulmate thing, I hate that word by the way but he's like my older brother Bri.
Soulmates aren't always meant to be lovers. It can be completely unromantic like it is with me and Fred. I love him to bits and we can sense each other's moods and all that but it's nothing more than that and it never will be. It can't be. I promise you,''

Brian felt a massive gulp of air burst free from his lungs. He hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath. ''Really?''

Roger smiled in disbelief and pinched Brian's cheek affectionately. ''For such a clever bloke you can be bloody thickheaded sometimes you know?''
''I know,''
''So just tell him how you feel...please? For both our sakes,''
''How can I? He doesn't feel the same Rog,''
Roger cocked his head, giving him a furtive look. ''Why would you think that?''
''He goes home with a different guy every other week, he's not interested in me,''

Roger rolled his eyes at Brian, rising to his feet. ''I can't do this anymore. You're riling me up with your stupidity. I need my drum kit,''

Brian swiftly tugged him back down on his arm, seething. ''You're not using that at this hour! You'll not only wake Fred but the entire building! You'll get us evicted!''
''Always the goody-two-shoes aren't you?'' Roger exasperated. ''Just talk to Fred, for me? Please,''

''Maybe later, right now we should get him to a doctor first,''
Roger shook his head at Brian, mumbling, ''You stubborn bastard,''

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC......

Notes:

So Roger knew all along. He's quite the clever pixy isn't he?
I love him a lot so I hope I portrayed him well.
I said this would be a two part story but looks like I'm nowhere near done with it yet, so more chapters coming up soon I hope. I'm really enjoying this a lot.

Oh and I read somewhere that Freddie collected all kinds of various boxes, so Roger taking-well stealing- unused boxes from his date's houses sort of came natural to me. I'm not trying to portray Rog as a thief or a bad guy, it's just a little joke. This is all in my mind after all.
I read that Freddie constantly needed validation about being loved so I put that in.

Brian is actually the most challenging one for me to write, which is why I chose to pick him as my main POV. I like a challenge. I made him quite homey and much like a hobbit because of his ( and my ) zodiac sign. I don't have much to go on aside from interviews and youtube, but I knew he didn't smoke and was quite calm.
Oh and I ship Roger with champagne but in these days he couldn't afford it.

I hope this was okay to you guys, let me know. Kudos and notes make my day! Thanks for reading and merry christmas to you all! <333

Chapter 3: Chapter 3.

Summary:

Freddie wakes up to the worst pain of his life.

Luckily, he's not alone.

Notes:

Sorry this took me so long to post guys, I wrote this in 3 days/sessions and will probably add some more lines when I read it to check for errors. I always do that.

I wrote this from Freddie's POV, wanting to switch it up a bit.
And I made up the part about him being picked on when he was in boarding school, truth is that I have no clue what his time was like over there.
I'm still waiting on his biography so this will probably not be correct and I improvised a bit.
Then again, this is fan fiction so we can make up whatever we like right?

I hope I'm portraying Freddie right, it was fun to write about him.

I hope you guys like it anyway.
I'm having so much fun with this story that I'll definitely make a fourth chapter. Probably even a fifth.

Freddie.

 

 

 

 

After a deep and rather dreamless sleep, Freddie awoke that the following morning to an empty bed. Odd, considering how his last memory had been of the three of them cuddled up together.
Groaning in agony as he breathed in and out, feeling the substantial pressure increase on his chest as if he was struggling against a massive suffocating anvil that was slowly torturing him with each breath that passed. 
His heavy head was filled with sawdust and haziness and there were two pianos standing at the edge of the bed. Fantastic, he was seeing double. He should probably tell Roger about that but he knew that he wouldn't.

He had never been in this much pain in his life and he was used to being hurt and covered in bruises. He'd been fighting to defend himself ever since he was a child, his prominent grotesque teeth and the fact that he liked boys imprinting a proverbial ''kick me,'' note on his back as he went through boarding school. He never had friends, he was always sitting by himself, singing something on the piano to make himself feel better and less alone.
When he finally got fed up with getting kicked into the dirt on a daily basis he had signed up for the boxing team. He had to find some way to defend himself and after he'd successfully clocked the most popular guy in their school into the mud he was never picked on again. He still didn't have any friends either but at least his life was somewhat tolerable at that point.

Being bullied had taught him one critical lesson: to never show people your weaknesses. Just because he was a queen didn't mean he could afford to act like one. He couldn't show fear or weakness, people smelled it from miles away like sharks detected blood in the water.
And so he crafted a perfect mask for himself, hiding his insecurities behind it as he pretended that he was an extremely tough, gorgeous man. A total lie, of course, deep down he was the most insecure person in the world.
He hid his teeth at every opportunity he got, loathing them so much that he rather not smile wide in pictures. He wasn't enticingly beautiful like Roger, with his irresistible big baby blues, silky blonde hair and sculpted face. He was just Freddie, that strange-looking Parsi boy with a sharp jaw and hideous teeth. 

The one thing he always felt good about was his voice. It was unique and Freddie knew that it would be the stuff of legends someday. He couldn't see any other alternative for the rest of his life, he was literally born to perform, to sing. Music was his salvation, his only dream.
Brian and Roger would help him do it, he had realized that from the time he started following Smile around. Their combined voices sounded like a daydream and each of them could sing lovely on their own too.
Roger sang like a bloody nightingale, his voice varying from insanely high ( not even Freddie could reach his high falsettos ) to quite low, intricate and husked.
There was something so alluring to Roger's voice that it was almost mysterious, probably because it had so many layers and therefore was never dull.

Brian's voice was warm like his entire persona. It made you feel at ease and created a perfect balance between Roger and Freddie's extravagant voices. He fluently combined them all together as if it were nothing.
However, Brian frequently underestimated his capabilities.

Freddie had compelled him to sing his lines a few times, without instruments, and had been astounded at how beautiful Brian sounded. Freddie had felt goosebumps appear on his arms and had to swallow his tears away.
The only other time Brian managed to put a lump in his throat was when he combined his serenades with his Red Special. That handmade, crafty guitar had a singing voice of its own.
Freddie had listened to Jimi Hendrix many times but the Red Special was something else, made him feel emotions he hadn't experienced before.
Brian took being a guitarist to a whole new level. Not that he ever believed that when Freddie told him that. He was far too modest to accept a bloody compliment.

There were only two things that concerned Freddie about their band, the first was that they still did not have a bass player. All the guys they had ''interviewed'' for the job hadn't been right.
They all wanted to sing along, make themselves count and disrupt the perfect balance of their three voices.
Freddie had now convinced the rest that they needed to look for a bass player who either could not sing or didn't want to sing. Or preferably both. They were meeting someone today in Roger's local pub but Freddie was not holding his breath. Brian wouldn't let him tag along in his mangled state anyway and would cancel that appointment.

The second thing that continued to bother him was the name: Smile. It was far too vanilla for his liking. It was Roger's stupid idea, an inside joke because he studied to be a dentist but Freddie loathed it.
He could not believe that someone as flamboyant and extravagant as Roger had picked something that tedious.
Roger then tried to frame Brian for it, stating that it had been his suggestion, arguing that Brian was dull and could not come up with a better plan but Freddie knew he was lying.
Brian was not that vanilla, he had a surprisingly cheeky, boisterous side that most people didn't even know about.
He was also a rather amazing writer, his creativity coming to him at all hours of the day. Sometimes when Freddie came home from a date or a night out he would find Brian sitting in the kitchenette, writing a song at five in the morning, shooing him away and scolding him for breaking his concentration and disrupting his process.

Still, despite their rising success, Smile was a sullen, idiotic name and they needed something new, something daring and outrageous. Provocative. Memorable.
Freddie was still sorting out ideas for it and it drove him downright mad that he couldn't come up with anything. Contribute something decent, well hopefully not decent, but useful that the others would like too.

Freddie twisted around under the cold blanket and shivered. He missed having Brian in his bed. It had been so nice to lay there in his strong, protective arms when he felt at his absolute worst. Why had Brian left him? His old abandonment issues were coming back to play. Lovely.
He wanted to cry out for him but his throat was so dry it had sewn his lips together. So he leaned over to his piano and pressed down on the keys, hoping to get his friend's attention.
Roger was the first one in the doorway. He wore a grey hoodie and a matching pair of sweats, a half-lit fag dangled on his lips. His hair was messy and his eyes had dark circles under them. ''Hey mate, how are you feeling?'' Freddie shrugged evasively, not in the mood to be poked and prodded like some lab rat due to Roger's overprotective nature.  

Roger was hovering in the doorway for some inexplicable reason. ''Do you need anything?''

''C-come in darling,'' damn it, why was his voice wavering and limp like that? Freddie hated it. He hated his life. He hated that Brian wasn't following right behind Roger.
''Where's Bri?'' he asked because he had to.
Roger sank on the bed beside him and helped him settle back against the headboard, resting Freddie's back against two pillows. ''He went down to the pharmacy to pick up some painkillers for you, turns out we don't even have any aspirin in the house. I guess I used the last ones for my latest hangover two days ago. Brian was fucking mad at me for not telling him we ran out-as usual,''

Freddie snorted. They persistently forgot to tell Brian if they finished the groceries, something that always royally pissed him off. Not that Freddie could blame him, whenever Brian thought he could have a nice bowl of cereal he would find an empty milk carton standing in the refrigerator. ''You little pixy,''
''I know right?''
''Can you get me some water? My throat is dryer than a vulture's crotch,'' Freddie jested, making Roger chuckle in that way that made him look even more like a giggly schoolgirl.
Freddie loved it when Roger sniggered like that, it made him look adorable, disgustingly, tooth-rotting sweet. It was also the reason why Freddie could never fall for Roger because he looked far too much like a girl for his liking. Too feminine, with dainty hands, a slim waist and big long eyelashes.

Freddie thought that Elizabeth Taylor was the most beautiful woman in the world, however, he was certain that if Roger dressed up like a girl he could easily rival her beauty.
They really ought to dress him up in a red gown or a skirt and put thick layers of makeup on him, Freddie thought with a smirk.
And then parade him around on the streets, looking at how many people would mistake him for an actual diva. He was sure that most of them wouldn't notice the fact that he was still packing a dick.
Not that Roger would ever let them get away with that, not even if they poured three bottles of champagne into him. He would kill them both for even suggesting it.

Nonetheless, despite Roger's insatiable charisma, Freddie liked real men with strong arms and heavy voices, not snarky drama queens who could sing higher than actual girls could.
If he was honest, his ideal man was considerably taller than him, had long, wild curls, kind hazel eyes and played the guitar until you started crying, but that could never be real.
Brian was three hundred per cent straight, Freddie knew that.
Besides, he couldn't bear to make a move and then ruin their relationship for good.

Although he'd nearly done it a few times, after a big bucket of Vodka, when he could almost swear that Brian may be inclined to kiss him back, he forced himself away barely in time.
He couldn't do it. Brian meant far too much to him, and losing him would-well Freddie couldn't even picture life without Brian in it. The idea alone was unbearable.
No, Brian had to remain his closest friend and so Freddie shoved his feelings aside to save that friendship. He couldn't be selfish. Brian deserved more.
When Roger returned with a big glass of water, Freddie drank it in one massive tug.
Roger returned for another glass and then a third.

When Freddie finally found his speech again and his headache had subdued a bit he sighed. ''I missed you guys when I woke up,'' he complained as he stole the remains of Roger's cigarette and smoked it, pressing the stub into the ashtray on the nightstand. Brian would have killed him for smoking while his lungs were hurting like this but thankfully for him, Brian wasn't around and Roger would never tell him not to smoke.

''Sorry, I left before Brian did. I couldn't sleep,''
Freddie conveyed Roger more closely. Prominent circles under his bloodshot eyes, hair all greasy, a bad case of alcohol breath. ''Why not dear?''
''Because of what happened to you! Why else?'' Roger snapped, gesturing his hands dramatically around as he did when he got royally impatient and pissed off.
''You don't have to worry about me sweetheart, I'll live,''
''You better,'' Roger growled furiously. Freddie heard the quiver behind those words and could tell Roger was scared shitless. ''C'me here Blondie,'' he folded his arms open and Roger fell into his embrace instantly, clasping onto him as tight as he had last night. ''I'm not going anywhere, all right? Promise,''

Roger shook his head frantically against his back, staining Freddie's shirt with heavy tears. ''Calm down Rog, I got you,''
''I can't lose you, Fred, all right? I bloody can't. It's driving me mad that I wasn't there to protect you! I shouldn't have left you alone last night,'' Roger exclaimed, sobbing loud but fury bursting in his voice.
''Rog, you do realize that I'm not a child you constantly have to babysit-right? I'm a grown man who can make his own decisions. It's not your job to watch over me all the time,''
''But it is,'' Roger insisted.
''Why?''

''Because...'' Roger exhaled profoundly, pulled back and took Freddie's face in his cold hands. ''I need you. It's all worthless without you. I'm so scared of losing you all the time,''
Freddie stroked his soft porcelain cheek patiently, knowing that Roger was nowhere near finished speaking.
He was positively combusting. ''You don't have good judgement when it comes to picking up men Fred, you go home with these guys that are just-wrong-scary. And I worry about you, constantly.
You know I support you, being gay and all that, but you're being too forward with it, you flaunt it too much, even when you try to mask it.
And yes you shouldn't have to hide, I agree, but you do need to be more cautious. I just want you to find a nice guy that you can be yourself with, who treats you right so you won't have to wander the streets and hook up with the wrong people,''

Freddie snorted humorlessly. ''Well, if you happen to know anyone that suits that description dear, do tell,''

Roger chewed on his lower lip, a habit he had when he was anxious and eluding a subject.
Instead of replying he laid his hand on Freddie's forehead and frowned. ''You have a fever, Bri said you were warm when he left the bed three hours ago. I called the doctor, he's expecting us a little after two,''

''We don't need to go, darling, I'm feeling much better already,''
''Oh no you don't, you promised Brian you would go. You're going!''
''Dear, we do not have any money to get there, the tube is expensive! And we barely made twenty pounds yesterday and don't forget: we still need to buy groceries,''
''Oh, we'll figure something out, stop trying to avoid this,''
''And what if they send me to the hospital, what then? I'll be traumatized for life. I'm telling you: I'm fine Roger, my ribs hurt and I have a bad headache and some bruises but that's it. Besides, they can't fix broken or cracked ribs anyway. There's no way to set them, you should know that, being a fucking medical student,''

Roger squeezed his arm so hard and irritated that Freddie cringed. ''Listen to me: you are going. If you don't Brian will kill you and he'll have to wait in line because I get to go first,''
Freddie rolled his eyes at his best friend. ''I hate you two,''
Roger was not impressed. ''Liar,''

The front door opened and Freddie heard Brian step into their flat, the sounds of an umbrella discarding its water reaching the bedroom. So it was another wet day in London, what a shocker. ''Bri! He's awake!'' Roger called out.
''Good,'' Brian retorted, appearing in Freddie's bedroom within seconds.

Freddie's heart leapt into his chest as it always did when he saw Brian. ''Hi,'' he mumbled, almost shyly. God, why was he feeling so strange?
Was it just that Brian had spent the entire night in his bed, snuggling him or was he simply ecstatic to see him? His appearance immediately calmed Freddie, as it usually did. Brian had that effect on all the people and animals he encountered.
Freddie easily fancied people, having a big appetite for sex but Brian was the first and possibly last man he'd ever truly loved. Each time he was in bed with some random shag he imagined it was Brian that lay on top of him.
He was the only man Freddie had ever longed so deeply for and cruelly the one man he would never have.

Brian frowned mildly when he saw Roger's hands resting on Freddie's shoulders but eventually he smiled. ''Hey Fred, how are you feeling?''
''As I predicted: he's whinging about going to the doctor,'' Roger, fucking Roger, betrayed Freddie in the blink of an eye.

Brian crossed the distance eerily fast with his lanky legs, nearly shoving Roger out of the way and taking ahold of Freddie's shoulders.
Their faces were so close that their noses were almost touching.
Freddie had never seen Brian this angry, it made him shrink and yet he was never truly afraid of him. ''Listen to me Fred, you are going. I don't care if I have to carry you there myself but you are seeing that fucking doctor. We discussed this last night and you agreed to go. You promised me, ergo, you're going. Understood?''

''But we don't have any money for public transport! We still have to pay the energy bill,'' Freddie said weakly.
''No, we don't, it's paid for. I borrowed some money from my folks,''
''No, I shan't accept that your parents are paying for our flat,'' Freddie said resolutely.
''Yes you will, and you shall. It's no problem for them, Fred, truly,"
''Bri...''
''Piss off Fred, you're going!'' Roger hissed, balling his fists like he did when he was ready to throw a massive tantrum.
''Who's side are you on darling?''
''Right now? His,'' Roger stated, folding his arms together, but Freddie saw the white of his knuckles and knew that Roger's heart rate would be through the roof.
''Two against one, Fred,'' Brian told him. ''Yes, I picked up on that dear, thank you,''
Roger snorted and growled, ''So no more bitching you old fuck tart, you're going and that's that,''

Freddie knew that he couldn't win. Their household revolved around the sacred rules of democracy.
Whenever they were deciding on something important the majority ruled. And he had just been outvoted of all people, which didn't happen that often to be fair. Usually, he and Roger would team up against Brian.
Well, now he could finally relate to why Brian hated it so much and got so grumpy when they did that. Brian's ideas were never bad but Freddie just loved seeing Brian all riled up, it was incredibly sexy and he got off on it.
So he sided with Roger, even if Roger's arguments were absolute shit. He vowed to himself to take Brian's side a little more often now, noticing how crappy it felt to be singled out like this. He felt a bit guilty for doing that so often in the past.
If only there was some way to make it up to Brian. If only he was interested in men, then his possibilities would be endless.

''Fine, you win my dears,'' he conceded with a deep sigh.
''Good, I'll get you some breakfast, you need to eat. What do you fancy?'' Brian quipped, looking a little relieved that Freddie had given in and much more relaxed.

Freddie bit down hard on mangled his lip to prevent himself from blurting out a blatant ''you,'' to that question. ''Oh I don't know darling, you know that I love everything you cook for me. Surprise me,''
Brian's cheeks flushed to that darling pinkish colour that made him look so sweet that Freddie wished he could jump in his arms and kiss him until his lips had melted against Brian's.
''All right, I'll uh, whip up something. Rog, do you want anything?''
''Just cereal mate, but I'll get it in a bit. I'm not hungry,''
''No still nauseous from your hangover aren't you?'' Freddie smirked.
''Sod off,'' Roger stuck his tongue out to him but smiled at Freddie nonetheless. Brian disappeared to the kitchen and Freddie heard him rummage through the cabinets.

Freddie folded the duvet back and tried to make his way out of his bed. ''Where do you think you're going?'' Roger remarked Brian had already disappeared to the kitchen.
''To pee Liz,'' Freddie snorted. Roger cringed at the referral to Elizabeth Taylor. Freddie only used it to tease Roger when he needed a laugh. ''You know I hate it when you call me that,''
''No, you don't. It's only a compliment darling,''
''Is it really? How is naming me after a woman a bloody compliment?''
''Not just any woman dear, merely the most beautiful woman in the world,''
''Wow, now I feel much better thank you,''
''You should,''

Roger escorted him to their bathroom where Freddie emptied his bursting bladder. He helped him wash his face, dapping a warm cloth to his cheeks and then sat him down in the kitchen to inspect his wounds.
He tore the bandaids off slowly, much too slow for Freddie's liking. He was a fan of doing it fast and painful for a moment over this torture route Roger took.
Roger ghosted his slender fingers over Freddie's lower lip, tracing them further up to the cut on his eyebrow and then back to the bruise on his right cheek. ''No bleeders which is good. I don't think you'll need stitches. Maybe a few for your eyebrow but I hope not. Looks like it's mostly contusions and minor cuts,''

''Great, let's cancel the doctor then,''
''Fred,'' Brian warned from behind the stove. ''Sorry love, just joking,''
''No, you weren't,''
''No, I really wasn't,'' Freddie agreed.
''Do you still want your eggs?'' Brian threatened.

Freddie's mouth practically salivated at the prospect of Brian's fried eggs. He was so good at that. He made them on a slice of toast with a hole in the middle. Frying both the egg and the bread in an ocean of real butter. Eggie in a basket, Brian's mum's secret recipe and the only food Freddie wanted to wake up for in the middle of the night. But only if Brian made them. ''They do smell delicious,''
''Then don't push it, not today,''
Freddie gave him a remorseful glance. ''I'm sorry Bri. I'll stop being a shit,''
''That would be much appreciated, thank you,'' Brian said formally, as he flipped the slices of toast in the pan and pressed them down into the melted butter with a spatula.

''Jesus Christ, just get a room you two,'' Roger complained, pressing his head down into his arms, probably still suffering from his headache. Freddie could relate to how he felt. 

''We have rooms smartypants,'' Freddie remarked, rubbing Roger's shoulders lovingly. Roger swatted his hand away angrily.
''Right! So get in one together and bloody use it! Jesus, I fucking hate you two,'' came the muffled reply.
''We love you too, Blondie,''
Brian placed the plate of eggs in front of Freddie and handed him cutlery. ''Tea?''
''Please, and thank you, these smell incredible,''
''No problem. Rog, did you want tea?''
Roger shook his head, too lazy to reply or lift his head.

Freddie cut a piece off his toast and brought the fork to his lips. His hand was shaking, he nearly dropped it, hoping that Brian and Roger wouldn't notice. But Brian was rinsing the frying pan, back turned to Freddie and Roger was either sleeping or busy feeling sorry for himself.
Nonetheless, despite his very best efforts he still dropped his fork, hearing it clatter to their shitty table. Roger veered up from the racket and Freddie gritted his teeth. ''Goddamn it,''

Brian dried his hands with the checkered tablecloth and sat down in the seat beside Freddie, quietly cutting his toast for him as if he were a three-year-old toddler, knowing that Freddie could not stand the shame of it if he teased him right now. When he was done he rose to his feet and pressed the fork back into his hands, placing a small loving peck on the top of his head.
It seemed like a small favour but Freddie could tell that Roger was gaping at them and he didn't really know how to respond to it himself.
Freddie tried really hard not to read too much into it, Brian was just a very caring guy, he would have done it for anyone, and still, his heart somehow told him otherwise.
This felt like a massive gesture. And from the way Roger's eyes bore into him, he could tell that Roger had seen it too. Whatever it had been. Freddie's mind was far too hazy to make up any constructive, rational explanations for it at the moment.

Freddie brought his fork down to his toast and started eating in pensive silence. He was so caught in his thoughts that he barely noticed it when Brian placed the mug of tea in front of his plate. ''Thank you,'' he managed to say, right in time.
''Of course, and yes there is enough milk in it,'' Brian jested, giving him a wink.
Roger had mysteriously vanished into his bedroom when Brian had demanded all of Freddie's attention and Brain sank into Roger's chair, leaning into Freddie. ''How is your head?''

''Hurts like hell,'' Freddie said truthfully. He hated lying to Brian.
''And the rest of your body?''
''Ribs are killing me, the bruises ache a bit but the worst is my head,''
''I picked up aspirin for you but I'm reluctant to give them considering we don't know the extent of your injuries. So you'll have to do without them for a bit, I'm afraid. Do you remember everything that happened last night or are there gaps in your memory?''

Freddie reeled. Unfortunately, he did. He shoved the memories of his attack back into the furthest corner of his mind, not wanting to break down in front of Brian.
Although in retrospect, he would love a massive teddy bear hug. Brian was the champion of those. ''Yes I remember everything and just give me some pills, they won't kill me,''

Brian complied, handing out two pills and a glass of water. ''Will you tell me what happened?''
''Not right now, I shall tell you someday,''
Brian covered Freddie's hands with his warm ones. ''Fred, you don't have to go through this alone. You can talk to me, well to us. We'll never judge you, ever,''

''Awwww, I know that darling, I'm just not ready to talk about it yet,''
''I just want you to know that you're not alone anymore, you-'' Freddie cut Brian off by climbing onto his lap and burying himself in the safety of his arms.
He cried like a bloody baby, his head pressed firmly against Brian's shoulder. The strong arms cradling him just tight enough. Brian's long, bony fingers trailing over his back, soothing him in calm silence.
And it was so bloody perfect because it wasn't perfect. His back was aching like this, his ribs protesting fiercely and yet he had seldom been so snug. Freddie had a thing for the imperfect aspects of life. It was the flaws that made it even more interesting. Perfect was incredibly dull.

He had expected Roger to reemerge from his bedroom to join in on their hug, knowing that he would surely sense Freddie's despair but for once Roger left them alone.
Freddie could feel waves of comfort radiating from Roger's proximity though, comforting him the best he could.
So he sat there with Brian, who held him as if he was his most prized possession. He felt safe and loved. He was home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC.......

Notes:

How sweet is Brian? Like he's too good for this world.

Oh and Freddie did actually call Roger Liz, after Elizabeth Taylor, according to Phoebe Freestone.

Please send me your thoughts guys, it means a lot to me to hear your opinion on this story. I'm always questioning my work so I appreciate feedback.

Thank you for all the support so far! I love this fandom so much. <3

Chapter 4: Chapter 4.

Summary:

Roger and Brian take Freddie to the doctor.

Notes:

So I wanted to update this sooner, but life butted in the way. That said, I have a week off work now so more updates will surely follow. I can't believe how long this is getting and I'm still nowhere near done. Oh well.

I don't hear you guys complaining so I'll guess I pursue this a bit more, I'm having so much fun with it.

Oh and I know that Roger and Brian didn't meet Deaky through school but at a party, but for my story, I wanted to make put Deaky and Roger on the same college. So they met there, even if that didn't happen in real life. It's just fiction right?

Hope you guys like it.

Brian.

 

 

 

Getting Freddie to go see a doctor sounded simple enough. Easy.
Still, Brian was convinced that climbing Mount Everest without an oxygen tank would have been less of a challenge. Freddie had turned from a mellow, easygoing guy who was up for anything into a snarky, lethal cat that knew it was being dragged to the veterinary's office, claws out and biting at whoever dared to cage it.

Roger had been the one who eventually coerced Freddie to tag along because some things did not change, promising him that if he cooperated he gave Freddie permission to dress him up in drag for once and one time only.
They both knew how long Freddie had longed for that opportunity and so he eventually caved and let them escort him to the doctor, babbling nonstop about what he was going make Roger wear.

They were now on their way back home, riding the underground.
The doctor had told them that Freddie would not need stitches and that his ribs seemed to be contused, not broken.
The rest of his bruises would heal over time. Luckily there was no need to send Freddie to a hospital. He had prescribed some painkillers and told him to take it easy, not certain if he hadn't suffered a concussion. He had to be monitored by Brian and Roger, even at night.

Freddie sat beside Roger while Brian was clinging to a narrow single chair, standing up immediately as an old lady stepped inside, looking for a space to sit. ''Take a seat if you like madam,'' he offered, politely.
Roger and Freddie sniggered at him, as he knew they would. The old lady sat down with a sigh and nodded as a thank you.

''What a stunning girl you're going to make Liz,'' Freddie laughed, the prospect of dressing Roger up delighting him.
The old lady tilted her head to frown harshly at them and Roger stomped his arm, blushing awkwardly. ''Shut it,''
Freddie chuckled. ''Oh stop being such a prude dear, no one cares whether you're a drag queen or not,''
''We-are-in-public,'' Brian reminded them, gritting his teeth.

Freddie only shrugged unimpressed. ''And?''
''Well, it is customary to behave like polite, adult men when you are confined to public transport that is packed with other people!''
''Bore,'' Roger complained, leaning in and whispering something in Freddie's air that made him cackle.
Brian shook his head, rolling his eyes at his friends. How had he ended up a glorified babysitter for this bunch of toddlers? The worst thing was that he loved those rug rats with all his heart so he couldn't rightly stay pissed off at them either.

''Oh I'd nearly forgotten, Rog did you cancel that appointment with the bass player?''
Roger looked at him so bemused that Brian didn't require an actual answer. ''Nope, I forgot, bloody hangover,''
''What time were we supposed to meet him?''
''Four,''
''It's nearly three now!''

''We can still make it,'' Freddie intervened. ''You are not going anywhere but home,'' Brian scolded.
''I'm fine Bri, I can go to the pub,''
''Right, it's not like your current state wouldn't freak anyone out or anything. Jesus, you're a sodding mess Fred, what is this guy going to think if he meets us and you look like you're a part-time boxer?''
''He has a point,'' Roger mused thoughtfully, fidgeting with his unlit smoke, twirling it around between his fingers as if it were a drumstick.
Aching to get off the tube and light it. Roger was a complete and total addict, who easily went through three packs of smokes a day and Brian frequently worried about his lungs, they would be darker than a chimney. ''You take Fred home and I'll go and meet him by myself,''

''But you already know him, through school!'' Brian protested.

Roger tucked the fag behind his ear, always the fidgety type. His hands never stopped moving. ''Which is exactly why I should go, he's quite shy really, especially around new people. I'll just hang out with him for a bit, tell him about Smile and what we're looking for and then invite him for another appointment if it feels good, one where we can all be present,''

''But I wanted to go too,'' Freddie pouted, lip curled up as a plea. That brat knew that Roger seldom said no to him.
However today Roger was on team Brian and wouldn't go against him. Their priority was to get Freddie home as soon as possible and off to bed. They had agreed to that before they left home that afternoon.

Roger curled his arm around him and pecked his long hair. ''I know, but you ought to get home and you're not going anywhere by yourself. Not after what happened last night.
I got this. You just need a bit of time to heal up, get well you know. To not look like you've just been in a bar fight. That will surely spook this guy off, believe me. Brian will take you home safely, you need a proper, tall bodyguard,''

Brian huffed humorlessly to himself. Like he would be able to protect Freddie better than Roger would. Roger had practised judo as a child and while Brian might be tall he didn't have much strength in his arms, nor his legs. He was just a skinny lad.
And besides: he was a self-proclaimed pacifist. What was he going to do? Throw flowers at their attackers?
No, Roger was the feisty one, their small certified firecracker. He would rather entrust Roger to protect Freddie, than himself. Roger would kill anyone who dared to lay a hand to Freddie.
Brian would like to think he would do the same but had a hard time convincing himself of that. Although he had jumped in to save Freddie's ass last night. And he loved Freddie, he would likely go berserk too if anyone dared to lay a finger on him. Brian wasn't certain what he would do and hoped he would never have to find out.

''Maybe I should go to the pub, sounds like you want to be around to keep Freddie safe,'' Brian gave it one last attempt, trying to persuade Roger.
''No Bri, I need to do this. Go to this meeting. It would be awfully rude to stand him up,''
''Pff, like you have a problem with being rude. But fine, what's his name again?''
''Deacon John,''
Freddie smirked. ''Don't you mean John Deacon?''
''Yes, that was it I guess. Deacon John sounds more fun though,'' Roger retorted, shrugging.
''It does, it's far more interesting,'' Freddie agreed. ''How old is he?''
''How the fuck should I know? Younger than me I guess, maybe one or two years younger. I have no fucking clue. Don't suppose he ever shaved though,''

Freddie trailed a tiny path over Roger's smooth sculpted cheeks and raised a questioning eyebrow. ''And you have darling? You don't even own a razor,''
''Sod off, I just steal yours. I bloody shave! My hairs are just light so you can't see them,''
Freddie exchanged a glance with Brian who grinned. ''Hmm, curious. I've never actually seen him shave, have you?''
''Nope, never. There's barely a hair on him, he doesn't even have arm, leg or chest hair!'' Freddie flicked the back of Roger's head with his fingers, making him gripe. ''Ow, you shithead!''
''See? He's just a soft baby,'' Freddie cooed triumphantly.
''Sorry to break up the tea party Mum and Dad, but this happens to be my stop,'' Roger grumbled, pressing the stop button and rose to his feet, shoving Freddie aside rather grumpily so he could step out of the bench.
''See you at home,'' Roger called out. The doors opened and he stepped out immediately, not bothering to wait for a reply. Brian sank into the vacant seat beside Freddie and grinned. ''I do believe we pissed him off,''

The underground carried on, shaking in the turns it made. Brian didn't like the tube, he never had. The feeling of being underground was somewhat stifling to him. He was always relieved when he could exit the station.
Freddie patted his forearm reassuringly. ''It's Rog, he's always pissed off at something ludicrous. He's just not used to being gained upon by the two of us,''
Brian chewed on his lip, feeling a bit guilty. ''Don't feel bad dear, by the time he's home he won't even remember what we said, he'll be shit-faced,'' Freddie told him, reading his mind.
Well, that was true. Roger without a drink was like a London day without rain.

''I hope so. I wonder if this Deacon guy will be any good,''
''He better be, we needed a good bass player like six months ago,''
''Can't argue that,''
''Really? Well, that's a first,'' Freddie teased, giving Brian a loving glance that stirred something warm and familiar in his stomach. ''Bri?''
''Hmm?''
''I'm paying you back every penny that your parents loaned to you for the energy bill. You know that don't you? When we become famous I'll repay them everything they loaned us with interest,''

Brian nodded, realizing that his mum and dad wouldn't care if he ever paid them back but that Freddie was too proud to hear otherwise. ''I know, don't fret over it. Mum and dad love you,''
''Well, your mum does, I'm not too certain about your father,''
''He merely takes some time to warm up to people, it's completely normal for him,''
''Sounds like someone else I know,'' Freddie remarked, resting his weary head onto Brian's shoulder.

The old lady blatantly stared at them, shaking her head disapprovingly, as if she caught them kissing. Brian felt offended and couldn't believe he voluntarily gave her his seat but decided to make no effort to push Freddie off of him. They were not doing anything wrong and anyone who didn't like it could rightfully fuck off.
''I'm not that bad,''
''Oh please, when I first met you, you barely said two words to me. At first, I thought you were just being an arrogant arsehole but later I noticed that you were only shy and awkward around new people. You totally hid behind Roger in the beginning, I almost thought you might be afraid of me,''

Brian could hardly remember that, but it sounded accurate. He had been intimidated by the bombastic persona that was Freddie Bulsara when he first encountered him. Freddie was unlike anyone else he had ever crossed paths with and it took some time to get used to him.
Besides, he already knew Roger and therefore felt comfortable letting Roger take the reins when Freddie first barged into their lives.

''I don't recall that,'' he disputed weakly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
''No, you wouldn't, now would you,''
''I'm sorry if I made you feel like shit,'' Brian offered disgruntled.
Freddie's impossibly warm hand found his own and twined their fingers together on Brian's lap. ''Don't be, I was fascinated with you dear. Keen to figure you out. You were a wonderful little puzzle. And I do love a good challenge. Besides, it didn't take me too long to win you over, did it?''

Brian withheld the urge to tell Freddie that he had loved him from the first second he met him with much difficulty. It was impossibly hard to resist Freddie when he was being so open about his feelings. So eerily vulnerable.
Brian rarely saw this side of him, but since last night something crucial had changed between them. The looming danger of the situation and the aftermath had somehow brought them even closer together.
It was like there were no more reasons not to be affectionate to one another anymore.
Roger had taken away Brian's rational arguments by assuring him that there was nothing between him and Fred and that there never would be, so Brian looked at Freddie entirely differently now. With a much more open mind, freeing it from the limitations and chains he had forced on himself. As a form of self-preservation.

And Freddie was being increasingly flirty with him, even more so than he usually was. Brian was reading into it for the first time since he had met Freddie. Adding that to Roger's frustrated words from last night, Brian could do the math.
He hadn't been daydreaming when he thought there might truly be something there with Freddie. Something palpable, real.
The realization, however, did not instantly make things any easier.
Brian could still be wrong about this and ruin everything if he went for it and Freddie would shoot him down. Perhaps Freddie only wanted sex from him. The apprehension and insecurity weren't very good for him or his sanity.

No, Freddie had to make the first move, somehow he could sense that was imperatively crucial. Or perhaps he was hoping for that because he knew that he would never have the actual balls to do it himself.

Freddie looked at his reflection in the window and cringed. ''I look like shit, I fucking hate this ugly jumper,'' he complained, conveying the hood of the striped white and purple jumper that was peeking over his ghastly yellow coat. ''Thank you,'' Brian retorted sarcastically. The jumper was his. Freddie had run out of clean vests and jumpers because he had forgotten to throw his dirty laundry in the hamper-as usual- so Brian had lent him one of his favourites. It was far too large for Freddie, but Roger's clothing was just a tad too slim so Freddie didn't have much of a choice. ''For the thousandth time: if you want fresh laundry, throw it in the hamper and let me know so I can wash it for you,'' Brian reminded him. Freddie crooned at him, smiling sly. ''God you're such a good housewife,''  

When they reached their stop, Brian hauled Freddie up from the crappy bench and dragged him out of the underground station. They took the lift up so that Freddie didn't have to walk the stairs and when they reached the top and stepped outside it was drowsy again.
Brian opened the navy umbrella and dragged Freddie close to him, wrapping his arm around him, so they would both stay dry. The pavements were slippery and Freddie stumbled a few times, only to be caught by Brian just in time. ''Slow down, there's no rush,''

''Wait, did you hear that?'' Freddie asked ears peaked. Brian frowned. ''Hear what?''
''That squeaking sound,''
''No, I don't hear anything,''
''Shhh, listen carefully,'' Freddie whispered, crouching down a bit to look where the sound was coming from. Brian still could not hear what Freddie was going on about and worried about him going delusional due to this fever.

Freddie turned the corner to a side street and wandered toward an old cardboard box. Leaning over it he cried out, ''Oh my gosh, Bri get over here!''
Brian ran over to him and peeked over Freddie's shoulder, jaw faltering when he saw what was inside of it. ''Oh, dear,''
Two small kittens, one red and one brown, were crying out as three dead ones lay beside them. ''You poor things, they're positively drenched Bri. Who would leave them in this horrid weather? Such monsters. We have to get them home,''
''Pardon?''

Freddie's fingers stroked over the kittens' backs. ''Well we cannot leave them on this bloody street, they will die! It's freezing cold and their poor siblings are already dead. They'll die, dear, please?''
''Well, how would we even take care of them? They're so tiny, their eyes aren't even open yet,''
''Don't be daft! We'll hand feed them, I nursed baby cats before, it's not that hard,'' Freddie simply shrugged.

Brian frowned pensively. ''Oh not that hard is it? Not like we don't have busy schedules or anything. And what about Roger, he'll freak,''
''He'll take them, I know he will. I'll handle that, I assure you,''
''Maybe so but we took a vote, Fred, no cats in the house. It's tiny enough as it is,''
''I still can't believe you voted against me on that one, you love cats as much as I do,''
''I do, however, we're quite busy with school and Smile and cats deserve a lot of attention so,''

Freddie cautiously lifted the balls of fur from the box and cradled them under his jacket. He stroked their heads with his forefinger, shushing them softly as he hummed the chorus of 'Keep Yourself Alive' a very fitting song under the dire circumstances.
He stared back at Brian, face laced with defiance and said determined, ''Be that as it may, we are not leaving them here and that is final. At least let me take them home so we can save them and then find new homes for them. But please Bri, don't sentence them to death,''

Brian was exasperated, realizing quickly that he couldn't win. Small helpless animals in need were his absolute weakness.
He wanted to keep all animals safe, as a child, he even saved drowning insects from pools and glasses. Freddie knew about it too and was now exploiting it to the maximum, not that Brian truly blamed him.
When Freddie noticed his anticipation and doubt he sweetened the pot even more. ''How about this, if you let me take them home, I'll let you put your cat song onto one of our albums. I'll even sing it for you,''

Brian felt kicked in the gut. ''I don't have a cat song,''
''Yes you do, Roger told me all about it. You wrote it for your childhood cat Pixie who died,''

Bloody, sodding Roger. Brian would never tell him anything ever again. ''No, hang on: you'll let me? Are we crowning you the leader of the band then? Will I need your permission to play my songs or write my lyrics in the future?''

''Don't try to deflect darling. You're not that clever,''
Well, it was impossible not to feel affronted by that comment. Brian considered himself to be above average when it came to intelligence.
Freddie laughed languidly when he saw the bemusement on his face and brushed his fingers through his hair. ''I didn't mean it like that. You're highly intelligent. You're the smartest man I know. And you'll never have to ask me for permission to write anything, dear,''

''You're still convinced we'll make multiple albums then?''
''I have to be love, can't imagine the bloody alternative,'' Freddie declared. Brian was impressed with the steadiness in his voice, the assurance behind the words. He wished he had this much faith in Smile as Freddie had.
He knew they were quite good and all that, but very few bands truly made it. Freddie leaned up and reached for him, his fingers delving hard into Brian's cheeks as their eyes met. ''We'll be successful darling, I mean have you heard me sing?''

''Well that's modest,'' Brian retorted with a grin.
''Perhaps not, but it's true. My voice is my superpower Bri, it assures me that anything is possible for me, for us. And as long as we believe in each other, we can reach for the heavens. We can achieve whatever we put our minds to, I know it. Just have a little faith in us, in...me,'' the last word was almost a plea. Freddie's insecurity was acting up again, Brian could tell. The side of him he tried to hide so well but always shone through the creaks when you truly got to know him. 

He hugged Freddie carefully to his chest, not too tight, he didn't want to suffocate the wee kittens. ''I'll always believe in you Fred, you're extraordinary. The stuff of legends,'' he assured him. He felt Freddie's smile muffled against his jacket. ''We're all legends. But yes I'm going to be a legend,''

Brian shook his head but nuzzled Freddie an inch closer to him, suddenly hit with a wave of affection for the man he loved so dearly. ''Let's get you and the babies home,''
They wandered the streets together, Brian holding up the umbrella over their head with his left arm and his right one around Freddie's shoulder while Freddie had curled his arm around his waist.
In that strange moment, they sort of felt like a real couple and Brian was hit with a foreign sense of domesticity that made him feel all warm and fuzzy.
People weren't ogling at them, simply because the umbrella hid what happened underneath it but Brian for once in his life could care less about what the public thought of him.

As they made a right turn to enter their street Freddie bumped into someone who just turned the corner. The cats protested a bit and Brian was concerned for their safety. Tiny beings like that were so easily crushed to death. ''I'm sorry, dear,'' Freddie offered instantly.
The man, however, was not impressed. ''Mind where you're going you bloody fairy,''

Brian halted in his step, releasing Freddie from his grasp and turned to face whoever it was that had just insulted him. Stepping in front of Freddie, taking in the sight of the stranger. ''He said he was sorry,''
''Fuck off prick, why don't you go suck his cock! Bloody poofters,''
''You better walk away right now or I swear to God you'll regret it,'' Brian growled, ice-cold fury seeping through his system. He wanted to punch this bastard so much.
How dare he insult his Freddie? And for what? Bumping into him on a crowded street? This was precisely why Brian hated being around people, most of them were clueless halfwits.
Freddie was tugging at his jacket, desperately trying to calm him. ''Let it go, Bri, he's not worth it. Please,''
''Listen to your boyfriend fairy,'' the man told him. There it was again, that word that riled Brian up so much: fairy. He was so close to clocking this guy in his face. So close.

Freddie put a decisive hand on his arm and dragged Brian along with innate strength and calm that was stereotypical for him. ''Come along now darling,''
Brian let himself be whisked away and the bastard disappeared from his sight with a grunt, barely in time to avoid a beating from a bloody pacifist.
Freddie opened the door to their building and stepped inside, looking thoughtful and aghast. ''What?'' Brian snapped, still elated and furious by what had just happened.
''Why the hell did you do that? You could have got yourself killed,''

Brian's jaw faltered. ''He offended you! For nothing!''
''And? People call me a fairy or poofter all the time. Just ignore it, who cares what they say,''
''I do!''
Freddie unlocked their postbox and emptied the content, revealing nothing but bills, cocking an eyebrow at Brian. ''Why?''
''Why what?'' Brian's brain was not functioning properly due to the Spanish Inquisition that Freddie unleashed upon him.
''Why do you care what some random idiot in the street says about me?'' Freddie crossed his arms together, demanding an answer. Not that Brian had one for him. People were entering and leaving their building but Brian hardly noticed them. ''Can we do this upstairs? The cats need some heat and so do you,''
Freddie rolled his eyes impatiently at his poor version of a diversion. ''Fine,''

Brian helped him up those endless stairs, taking numerous pauses again, not wanting to overwork Freddie's mangled ribs. When they finally reached their floor and wandered into their flat, the atmosphere was tense and heavy between them.
Brian snuck into his bedroom to get the softest, fluffiest towel for the kittens and when he returned Freddie sat on their sofa, fidgeting to get the cats off of his chest.
They had dug in deep, their little claws hatched into his skin, refusing to let him go. ''I think they like me,'' Freddie snorted, grimacing painfully. ''A little help please?''

Brian unhooked the tiny creatures from Freddie's sternum and wrapped them slowly in the towel. ''I'll prepare the milk,'' Freddie said, rising to his feet but Brian nudged him back down. ''I'll do that thank you very much. You know that I don't trust you or Rog with the stove,''

''Don't be so belligerent, you big galoot. I think heating some milk will be doable, even for me,''
Brian placed the pot on the fire and filled it with milk, setting the carton back into their refrigerator. He put the kettle on the stove, to make them some tea. ''Not taking that chance, Fred, sorry. You'll likely burn the flat down,''
Freddie looked downright affronted. ''Nah Roger would, I'm not that bad. You just never give me a chance to prove it to you because you're such a massive control freak,'' he said wisely, picking up the towel and nudging the cats onto his lap. 
They were squeaking and wailing so loud that Brian felt his heartbreak for them. All alone in the world, their mother was gone, their siblings dead. He wanted to save them, even if they would claim all of his sleep and his money. He would do whatever it took to make sure they wouldn't die.

''Wait, how will we even feed this to them?'' Brian called out, suddenly recalling that they did not own tiny baby bottles designed for newborn cats.
''In the first aid kit is a pipette we can use,'' Freddie reminded him. ''Oh right, that's a really smart plan,''
''I have my moments love,''

Brian retrieved the first aid kit from Roger's cabinet and rummaged through it, finding the pipette lying underneath all other bandages and scissors. He poured the warm milk into a mug, testing it with his elbow to make sure it was not too hot, prepared their tea and sat down on the sofa beside Freddie. He filled the pipette with the white liquid and handed it to Freddie.
Freddie squirted a bit into his mouth to check the temperature and nodded. ''Just right,''

He lifted the red kitten, fitting it in the palm of his hand and gently stroked under its chin to get him to open his mouth. ''That's it, good boy, open up for me,'' he cooed. The baby opened up and Freddie slowly pressed some droplets of milk onto the pink tongue.
The cat started protesting a bit but eventually accepted some more milk. ''Good boy, that's it, darling,''
When the pipette was half empty and Freddie looked rather pleased with the result, he handed the cat to Brian and drank his mug of Earl Grey. Brian carefully placed the kitten back into the warmth of the towel, drying him as tender as he could.
The brown cat was a lot more fidgety and squealed for his life.
But after discovering that liquid entailed food he finally ate a bit. ''Christ, they're adorable,'' Freddie smiled so genuinely at them, forgetting to hide his teeth for once, that Brian felt his knees turn into goo. He was so stunningly beautiful when he laughed like that.

When the cats were done and had fallen back asleep on Brian's lap, Freddie stifled a yawn. ''You need to get in bed too, you need rest. Doctor's orders,'' Brian reminded him. ''I hoped you wouldn't see that,''

''I see everything, Fred,''
Freddie leaned over his lap and pecked his forehead. ''Not everything darling, not yet,''
Brian didn't have the heart or the balls to ask what he meant with that cryptic comment.
So instead he rose to his long legs and extended his hand to Freddie, who took it without a moment of hesitation. ''I'll take it that you want these guys to come to bed with you?''

''Of course, dear, Tom and Jerry need to feel like they're not alone,''
Brian didn't have the heart to remind him that they were not keeping them because let's face it: who was he fooling? Freddie would give up these cats when hell froze over. ''Oh, they have names already? And what if they're girls?''
''Bri, Jer can also be a woman's name. Look at my mum,'' Freddie remarked, smirking wide. ''But they're boys, certainly the red one,''

Brian led him into his bedroom and sat Freddie down on the covers, placing the wrapped-up cats in front of his chest as he helped Freddie out of his clothing and into his pyjamas. ''How can you tell?''
''A mother knows these things, darling,'' Freddie simply stated. He folded the duvet back and curled down on his side, shivering. ''It's freezing in here,''

''I turned the heater on, it may take a while to get warm here but-''
Freddie chuckled disbelieving at him. ''Bri, that was your not-so-subtle cue to get under this damn blanket with me,''
Of course, it was. Brian felt like a sodding idiot. ''Oh um, well I'm not that tired,''
''So? Neither am I. Still awfully cold though,''
Upon seeing Brian's hesitation he sighed deflated. ''Just get in here Bri, please? I don't wanna be alone with our children,''

Brian fought the insistent blush that attempted to creep over his cheeks and won. ''Our children?''
''Yes, we found them together so they're ours. They need a father too, not just a mum,''
''And here I thought Roger was already our love child,'' Brian heard himself say. Slipping underneath the duvet with Freddie because well, he was weak as shit. And he needed this closeness as much as Freddie did.

''Nah Roger is definitely adopted. He's far too bitchy to be ours, we wouldn't create such a whiny yet beautiful monster,'' Freddie jested. ''Wouldn't we?'' Brian thwarted. He shifted to his side, facing Freddie, who was now impossibly close and still not wrapping himself around him as he had done last night. What was holding him back? Perhaps he was waiting for Brian to instigate the contact. Well good luck with that, he thought grimly.

''Bri?''

''What is it?''
''Why did you do it, back then on the street with that rude bloke,''

Bloody hell, Brian had prayed that Freddie would let this slide and fall asleep, but he truly should have known better. How was he going to save himself from this? What could he say? Freddie's massive eyes bore into his own.
Brian extended a hand to Freddie's neck and twirled it around in his soft locks of raven hair, stifling a groan. ''No one gets to insult or mock you when I'm around. No one,''

Freddie's gaze softened and he placed his hands on Brian's upper arms. ''People insult me all the time love, I don't care. And I don't want you to receive a beating for it when you feel the need to protect me from superficial morons like that. They're not worth it,''
''Perhaps not, but you are worth it to stick up for. And I will, as long as I'm in your life,'' Brian vowed solemnly. ''And just because people insult you all the time does not mean it's all right and that you have to accept it. You deserve to be loved and worshipped for being you,''

Freddie cocked his head sideways, peering inquisitively into Brian's eyes as if he tried to read him. His fingers danced over Brian's skin. ''What exactly are you trying to say, darling?''

Brian heard the words tumble out of his mouth before he had the strength to detain them. ''I'm in love with you,''
Five little words that lingered in the air and could never be taken back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC........

Notes:

As always: feel free to point out mistakes or spelling errors.
I couldn't resist writing Tom and Jerry into this story. I have a soft spot for kittens ( I own a cat myself ) and I wanted them to have cats in their flat. So this was the logical next step. I can't imagine Freddie without a cat.

Oh and Deacon John was the name they put on the first Queen album because they thought John Deacon was too boring.

And OMG Brian what have you done? I really thought that Freddie would take the first step, but as a writer I never know what my characters are going to do. I never even write a plot, I just make it up as I go.
Sorry for the cliffhanger.

I changed a few things, forgetting that healthcare is covered in the UK so they wouldn't have to pay for it. So I changed Freddie's objections in the previous chapter a bit, and in this one too. Such a silly mistake considering I briefly lived in England and should have known that. Oh well.

I want to thank everyone for your continuing support! I'm still so shocked at how many people are reading this and like it. It's a great confidence boost! <3

Chapter 5: Chapter 5.

Summary:

Brian and Freddie have a heart to heart.

Notes:

Sorry again for taking so long with this. But I have a bad back hernia so I can't sit behind my laptop for too long. I wrote this in like 5 sessions. It may not be as good as what I usually write but I'm still overall happy with it.

I hope you guys still like it.

Let me know!

Freddie.

 

 

 

 

Is this the real life? Or is it just fantasy? Those words circled in Freddie's mind repeatedly.
Brian Harold May had just told him he was in love with him. Brian. Straight as they come, Brian. No, he had to be dreaming or hallucinating from his suspected concussion. That was the only logical explanation for all of this. This wasn't real. How could it be?
And yet when Freddie looked at Brian lying across from him on the mattress, that nervous glitter of anticipation looming in his eyes, he had a hunch that he wasn't living in a fantasy or making this up.
But how could this even be true? Freddie had hoped for so long that he finally had given up.

That was until last night. Things had changed dramatically between them and they both knew it.
And Roger had said...no, it couldn't be true, could it? Freddie's mind was spinning out of control, cloudy and hazy with confusion and a severe case of aphasia ( a medical term for loss of speech that Roger had taught him).

When he still hadn't replied, Brian was pulling away from him, emotionally and physically, as if he realized he had made a humongous mistake. ''I'm uh, going,''
Freddie snatched his wrist barely in time. Say something useful you blithering idiot, he's about to storm out on you! And knowing Brian he will likely never bring it up again, he scolded himself.

This was his only chance before Brian would surely sweep it under the rug, never to speak of it again. Pretend it had never happened and then go into a full passive-aggressive mode, as he took to when he felt hurt by someone he cared about. ''Stop, you just...caught me off guard Bri. I'm not rejecting you or this,''

Brian looked up at him, meeting his eyes. ''You're not?''
''No, I assure you. I'm just a bit shocked honestly. In a good way,'' he added quickly when he saw Brian's face falter. ''I merely thought...''
''That I was straight?'' Brian suggested, blushing mildly. He hadn't released Freddie's hand.
''Well yes, can you blame me?''
''I am straight Fred, or well I generally consider myself to be. But I've been infatuated with you from the first second I met you. You're the only man I'm interested in,''
''Then why-''
''Why what Freddie?''
''Why did you never tell me?''

''Roger,'' Brian blurted out, grimacing venomously. Freddie fiddled with a button on the tip of his blanket, frowning confounded. ''What about Roger?''
''I viewed Roger as a threat,''
Freddie tried his absolute best not to laugh at that but failed hopelessly. ''You're joking darling, please tell me you're joking,''
''That's exactly what Roger said when I confronted him with it last night,'' Brian said, shaking his head in disbelief that he caught them doing something similar again.
''You seriously believed that Roger and I were...''
''Well perhaps not romantically together, but soulmates, yes. How could I ever compare to what you share with him? I don't know your every thought, I'm not the designated Freddie whisperer like he is,''

Freddie chuckled, stroking Brian's forearm light. ''Brian Harold May, you're an absolute pillock and a damned fool if you think that Roger knows every thought and emotion that I experience. Don't be daft, I can keep secrets from him just fine. We're close yes, but we're not a pair of Siamese twins,''
Brian clenched his jaw so hard that Freddie heard his teeth ground together ominously. ''It's conjoined twins and aren't you?''
''Green is so not your colour, love,''
''So you keep telling me,''

''I'm sorry we made you feel left out at times,'' Freddie saw Brian's cocked eyebrow and added, ''All right most of the time. That was rude and tactless of us. We didn't do it purposely if it makes you feel any better. It just sort of happens when we're around each other.
We get caught up in our little world of mischief, a maze if you will, and without you there to escort us out safely we would get permanently lost in it. We need you Bri. Even if we don't say it enough. I realized today when you two gained upon me, how horrible you must have felt all this time. And I'm sorry for making you miserable,''

Brian came a little closer to him, wrapping his lanky arms around Freddie and collecting him close to his chest. Their faces were nearly touching now, the mysterious hazel eyes meeting Freddie's.
Usually, Freddie could get a pretty good idea of what was going on in Brian's mind but right now he was stuck. The eyes revealed as much as they concealed. ''Listen to me: you two are the best friends I've ever had and living here with you has been the happiest time in my entire life. I'm not bloody miserable Fred, I can never be miserable whenever you're around. You light up my day. You're my sunshine, my solar flare,''

''That's pretty basic for a wannabe astrophysicist, to be honest, the sun? Surely you can do better dear,'' Freddie smirked, shooting him a wink. ''I mean at least call me a supernova, travelling at the speed of light,''

''Have you been snuffling through my textbooks again?''
''I may have,'' Freddie admitted, shrugging his shoulders. He liked to impress Brian with astronomy terms and therefore stole his books occasionally, when he was passed out in his room and when Freddie couldn't sleep.
He would scope through them, searching for the most difficult word, wanting to make an intelligent impression.
Brian knew that he was doing it, although Freddie was unsure how he had figured that out.
Roger probably told him. He caught Freddie reading them a few times when he came home from his dates.

Freddie simply refused to feel dumb beside Roger and Brian, even though their studies were much more advanced and complex than his own. He studied art, which was cool but not exactly as advanced or complex as their subjects were. He would never be the next Einstein or Galileo.
Roger was a well-lettered medical student ( with a foul mouth and yet an impressive vocabulary ) and Brian used words that he seldom understood when he spoke of his studies.
So Freddie had to find ways to keep up with them, get smarter and adapt as he had done pretty much his entire life. Thankfully that was his forte. Freddie should have studied evolution, seeing how he was a prime example of Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest.
He had learned to take care of himself ever since his folks had shipped him off to boarding school. He was proud of his independence.

''Fred, we know you're clever. You never have to prove yourself to us,''
''I just like to look smarter than I am. I have to make an impression darling,''
''Why?''
''What?''
''Why do you feel the need to impress us? Your best friends. We know you well Freddie, and you're a genius in your way. I can never sing like you can or write lyrics as original and brilliant as yours,''

''And you're in love with me,''
Brian flushed at the certain twist in the conversation. ''I am,''
''Why?'' Freddie had to know. He wanted to hear it. He needed to make certain that Brian's feelings were sincere before he put his own heart on the table. He was so terrified of being hurt.

''Are you just fishing for compliments again, Fred?''
''No, I just, need to hear you say it. Please...''
''Can I conclude from this that you like me too?''
''Hell yes you can and you should,'' Freddie beamed, pecking Brian's forehead.

A massive wave of relief washed over Brian's face, relaxing him immediately. Then he started speaking, tears shimmering behind his eyes. ''I fell for you from the first time I met you. There was something so interesting about you, so alluring. I don't know, you reeled me in I guess and I was positively ruined from the start. I think you're the most beautiful man I've ever seen,''

''That's Roger,'' Freddie cut in, regretting that immediately when he saw Brian's ticked-off expression. ''That's not true, yes he's beautiful but not enticing and exotic like you. But what I love most about you is your heart, Fred.
You love without limitations and you protect the things you care for. Keep them safe. You always make me feel like I can achieve absolutely everything when you're around. You believe in me more than I ever believed in myself and I love you for it. You make me feel brave,''

''Then why did you never-''
''Fred, you went home with a different bloke every other week, how could I know that you liked me? You certainly had an odd way of showing it to me,''
''Well forgive me for thinking that you were straight darling, which is why I never dared to make a move. I couldn't lose you as my best friend. But I will have you know that all the blokes I went home with were tall and had curly hair, although none of them as soft as yours,''
''You seriously went home with men that looked like me?''

Freddie sniggered light, stroking Brian's hot cheek. ''I did, you can ask Rog if you don't believe me, he saw some of them. He called them the Brian clones,'' when Freddie saw Brian's aghast expression he continued. ''It made it easier dear, to pretend that it was you I was lying with.
Even if their voices were all wrong, their eyes didn't match and their hair was not impossibly soft like yours. It just helped, in a way. I needed the attention and it allowed me to live in a fantasy for a while.
But afterwards, I felt like shit, because they always left and I felt like a coward, a whore. And then I'd grow increasingly sad, that I wasn't able to ever lay in your arms,''

''Is that what happened last night Fred? Did you go home with the wrong guy?''
Freddie hadn't anticipated that turn of events and he could tell that Brian read the answer from his face. ''What happened? Will you tell me?'' Brian asked tentatively, brushing a lock of defiant hair from Freddie's cheek and tugging it behind his ear. He didn't withdraw his hand though and Freddie loved him for that, he could use the comfort of it if he were to tell this fucking tale.
''It's not a very good story,''
''I sort of figured that out myself Fred, but you did promise to tell me,''

Breathe in and out Freddie, that's it. You can do it, tell him what happened. You know you want to, besides he will understand.
You have to be strong now, he told himself. He could do this.
He had faced worse obstacles in life and overcame them all by himself. There weren't many things that scared him after all he'd been through. He could tell Brian what happened to him, he of all people deserved to hear the truth.

''You won't like it,'' he warned, curling himself tighter around the warm comfort of Brian's limbs. Tom and Jerry were snoozing nearby, not a care in the world. Freddie pitied them, Freddie envied them.
''I can take it,''
''I was um, working,''
Brian frowned confounded. ''But the market had closed hours before I found you,''

''I'm not speaking of the market. I was working an angle, in a manner of speaking,''
''What the bloody hell are you talking about Fred?''
''Four weeks ago I met a bloke at the market who said he had an item that I was looking for, so I went back to his place with him to collect it and that's when it all went to shit,''
''That's all very vague Freddie, which item? What the hell are you on about?''

Freddie swallowed thickly. ''I had seen the perfect Christmas gift for you. But I couldn't afford it yet, so I saved up some money and tried to buy it from this bloke.
But the son of a whore was trying to rip me off. Me of all people! Can you believe it! He raised the price every fucking time I saw him.
So I offered another form of payment, along with the money I had already given him. He seemed to accept and then suddenly I was laying in the middle of the street, getting the shit kicked out of me by him and two of his friends that came out of nowhere.
I threw a few punches myself but then one of them knocked me on the back of my head and I temporarily blacked out. When I came to, I was on the pavement getting a royal beating until you showed up,''

''Wait, hang on. You risked your life over a present for me?'' Brian groaned, face a mixture of disbelief and sheer guilt. ''Yes dear, it was perfect for you. I wanted to spoil you a bit. You always do so much for us and we barely even thank you for it,''

''You could have thanked me for it by not risking your life last night, Christ Fred. Over a gift? Are you taking the piss?''
''I don't regret it,'' Freddie said stubbornly. ''It was worth it,''
''How could it be worth it? Now you're out of a present you wanted so much and you nearly died in the middle of the street,''
''Who said I didn't get the gift?''
Brian blinked, momentarily dumbstruck. ''You-you have it?''

''Of course, I do, no one fucks with me and gets away with it, darling. It was in the pocket of his jacket when he jumped me, I merely let my hand slip in there and reached for it. I always did have sticky fingers,'' Freddie smirked content. Nothing had felt better than to take back what was rightfully his at that moment. It had made his entire beating completely worth it. Just the satisfaction of knowing that piece of shit would wake up today to realize that he'd been robbed.

Panic and concern came over Brian's face. ''You stole from this bloke?''
''No, I wouldn't call it stealing. I merely took what was rightfully mine. I paid for that thing, much more than it was originally worth. No one fucking rips me off,''
''But what if he knows where we live? He could come back with his friends and-''

''Darling do calm down. He barely knows my name. Roger and I aren't dumb enough to hand out business cards with our address on them. Don't fret, he'll never find us,''
''What if he comes back to the market stall? What then?''
''He won't, I heard him say he was leaving the country soon. And so what if he does come back? I'm not afraid of him. Also, I'm not alone in that stall, Roger is there and we have tons of friends around who'll keep me safe. Besides, he cannot prove that I stole it from him, it could have fallen from his jacket for all he knows,''
''How daft do you think he is Fred? It was still too dangerous, I can't believe you did that, risked your neck all for a sodding present,''

''You'll love it when you open it at Christmas, I promise you,'' Freddie assured him, kissing Brian's cheek.
''Still, you should never have risked your life over a sodding gift, you idiot,''
''You sound a lot like Roger now,''
''Wait, did he know about this?''

''About the gift? Sure,''
''No, that you would go home with this arsehole to fuck him for it,''
''Oh that, no I decided to leave that bit out. I didn't want a sodding lecture. Please don't tell him, I don't want him to know about this,''
''Smart call for not telling him, he would have gone berserk and strangled you himself,''
''Don't tell him Bri, all right?''
Brian pursed his lips together into a thin, disapproving line. ''Fine, I won't. Still, you shouldn't have done all this. What would we have done if we lost you?''

''Find another lead singer probably, but he wouldn't have my style,'' Freddie joked, winking lavishly at Brian, who wasn't returning his smile, as expected.
''That's not fucking funny Fred,''
''I know, but I didn't do it all for nothing. You'll see when you open it, it's quite special,''
''No more special than you are. Please don't ever do something like that again-ever. Promise me,''
''Well now that I know that you love me too there's no reason for me to go home with strange men anymore is there, so that's an easy promise to make,''
''Say I promise,''

Freddie rolled his eyes at Brian but knew he had to give him whatever he wanted. He would never let him hear the end of it if he didn't assure him that he would never do anything this stupid again. ''I promise, Bri,''
''Good, then get over here and fucking kiss me already,''
''I thought you would never ask,''
''I'm not asking Fred, I'm telling you to,''

The sheer dominance in Brian's voice did it, turning his already weak knees into jello. Freddie felt his dirty mind fill with possibilities as to what Brian may do to him in bed if he was lucky.
He had yet to discover this side of him, Brian was seldom dominant or commanding, but Freddie couldn't wait to delve further into this.
He took hold of Brian's face, gazing deep into his longing eyes for a moment, wanting to take it all in.
There was so much love and adoration resonating in the depths of his hazel-coloured eyes that Freddie felt his heart swell three sizes. It was already too much and nothing had even happened yet.
He felt like he was going to combust from years of anticipation and waiting for Brian to love him back.
And yet now that it was finally here, it almost felt anticlimactic. Freddie would have waited another decade, a lifetime for Brian if he had to. Forever. He could have slept with every single man on the planet and still, none of them would ever compare to Brian. None of them could make him feel so safe and at home in their arms as Brian did right at that moment.

Freddie suddenly couldn't bear the distance anymore, the anticipation. He trembled before leaning and finally brushing their lips together.
Brian's lips were nearly as soft as his hair, plump and luscious and Freddie was completely addicted to them from the second their lips met.
It wasn't a perfect kiss, Brian's lower lip moving erratically against his, there were needy hands roaming around through his hair, teeth nearly clattering together when Freddie parted his lips to delve further into the kiss and Brian hadn't anticipated it.
It was messy. Clumsy. And bloody perfect in its imperfection.
Brian made the most wonderful little gasping sounds as he explored Freddie's lips, sounds that sent Freddie's heart rate into overdrive.

His mind was completely blank for the first time in his life. There were no more lyrics constantly dancing around, no more hesitations, no more fear and bad memories. All that existed was blissful silence.  
He was now floating up to heaven and existed in a new plane of happiness and contentment that he had never thought he would ever discover.

Freddie had never felt so alive. It felt like he had wandered through life with his head underwater and had only now come up for air, breathing in the crisp freshness of life above the surface. Brian, all he saw and felt was Brian. His whole world revolved solely around Brian at that moment. 
Brian's warm hands were clinging possessively onto him, pulling him in even further if that was even possible. Freddie felt something damp land on his cheek, a tear. He had no clue whether it was his own or Brian's. It hardly mattered.

When they finally parted to catch their breath, Brian looked almost shyly at Freddie, averting his eyes as if he'd done something naughty.
Freddie lifted his chin, forcing him not to be ashamed. ''I love you Brian May and I'm never letting you go,'' he vowed, kissing Brian's forehead, his cheeks, his entire face before resting another gentle peck on his lips.
Brian tugged him closer, embracing him fiercely. Freddie heard a sob. ''And I love you, Freddie,''
Freddie's heart could barely take it, the immense love that resonated in Brian's voice...it was everything. No one had ever loved him like that. So purely. Brian loved him for who he was. Warts and all.

Freddie would never have to pretend to be anyone he wasn't around Brian. No more masks. Freddie was home. Finally.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC.......

Notes:

Thanks for reading and all the support I got from this story.

 

How cute are Freddie and Brian together? I just wanna wrap them in a blanket and give them a hug.

Hope to see you guys at the next chapter. There will be one more chapter and then I'm done with this. I'll move on to my Freddie/Roger fic afterward. I already have a lot of ideas for it.

Chapter 6: Epilogue.

Summary:

It's Christmas morning and the boys share some warm moments.

Notes:

I'm real sorry to leave you guys hanging for so long! But I hope to make up for it with this really-really long chapter. I wrote it in a lot of sessions because of my back.

I'm a bit sad to end this story, I feel that I could go on forever. But I have other stories that need my attention too.

Warning: lots of tooth rotting Christmas fluff in this one.

Brian.

 

 

 

 

''Fred! Have you seen my jumper?'' Roger called out, voice piping up from behind the door to the wrong room once again. Freddie was sprawled all over Brian's chest like a possessive Koala bear, their arms and legs tangled together and his head draped lazily to his clavicle.
''In here!'' Freddie shouted back, smirking wide at Brian who rolled his eyes.
They switched rooms a lot, some nights they slept in Brian's much more comfortable bed and others were spent on Freddie's shitty soft mattress that always ruined Brian's back.
So most nights they slept in Brian's room because Freddie was really fussy about him and didn't want him to have a sore back. Although he did like to massage Brian afterwards. For hours and hours. 

Roger slid the door open and emerged in the doorway, his eyes covered by his hand as he always did when he was walking in on them.
He'd caught them in a really awkward position a few weeks ago and had been doing that ever since.
His eyes probably still burning from what he'd seen. Though in retrospect, he should have knocked like any normal person would have. Roger seemed to think that the rules of common decency didn't count for him.

''Is the coast clear you perverts?'' Roger chimed. He was wearing his grey sweats, hair all mushy and looked positively hungover. ''Oh please, it was one fucking time you drama queen! But yes dear, you can take a peek, if you dare,'' Freddie retorted dryly.
They were both wearing underwear but not much else, although the duvet pretty much ensured that Roger wouldn't burn his eyes or turn to stone this time.

Roger pulled his hand back and smiled at his friends. ''Merry Christmas you dirty buggers!''
''Merry Christmas Rog,'' Brian and Freddie said, nearly in sync. They still had to work on their timing. ''Wait how exactly are we the dirty buggers? At least we only sleep with each other, God knows what you were doing last night,'' Brian muttered defensively.

Freddie sat up, folding his arms together, reaching for his fags on the bed stand. When he saw Brian's furious expression though he quickly put the package of smokes back. This was Brian's room and he didn't condone smoking inside of it.
Although in fairness Freddie had been smoking far less since they had been together, something Brian appreciated. And he kept a package of strong mints by the bed so Brian wouldn't be too bothered with his cigarette-nor his morning- breath.
Occasionally when he woke up before Brian ( which was most of the time ) he snuck out of the bed to smoke a fag or two in the kitchen and then he would brush his teeth for Brian. So that he could kiss him properly when they were both up.
Not that it helped much, Brian always tasted a hint of smoke lingering in Freddie's mouth. But he'd grown accustomed to it by now, it was very typically Freddie and Brian loved all of Freddie. Not even smoking like a bloody chimney could diminish that.

Roger shrugged at the notion of his date, twiddling his fag around between his fingers. ''I don't know, I didn't exactly catch her name. She was nice though, just naughty enough. But yes you may only sleep with each other but um on every fucking hour of the day!
And loud too, I can hear you through my sodding headphones and earplugs. Nothing helps! Why do you think I'm escaping this flat as much as I can? These paper-thin walls leave very little to the imagination you filthy bastards,''

Brian felt heat creep over his cheeks but Freddie looked completely unfazed. ''And? Aren't you happy for us?''
''Of course, I am, I just don't need to hear just how happy you two are with each other all the sodding time, you know?'' Roger sneered, but there was no real venom behind his words.
''I'm sorry if we're making you feel uncomfortable Rog, we didn't mean for that to happen, did we, Fred?'' Brian mediated, ever the polite one. His parents would have been proud. Well not that he was sharing his bed with a man, but he would climb that mountain when he could no longer avoid it.

Freddie gave him a mischievous smirk but eventually nodded along. ''Of course not. We wouldn't want our baby to be unhappy,''
''I'm not your sodding baby, they are,'' Roger declared, pointing at Tom and Jerry, who slept soundly at the edge of the bed, curled up into two fluffy multicoloured balls.

Roger hadn't fussed over them as Brian had expected him to do. He'd simply offered to take care of them during the night shift, seeing how Roger seldom slept anyway.
So when Freddie and Brian napped, Roger hand-fed the kittens.
Brian even caught him singing some of their songs to them every now and then as they slept in his arms.
It shouldn't have been such an endearing sight and yet it was. Brian had felt tears emerge in his eyes and quickly snuck back to the warmth of Freddie's arms, not wanting to break the spell and startle Roger and the cats.

They weren't as much of a handful nor a nuisance as Brian had expected them to be, probably because there were three of them caring for them. There was always someone home to watch them and play with them and when all their classes somehow collided at the same time, Freddie would sneak them into his satchel and bring them with him to school.
By some miracle, he never got discovered.
The hideous kitschy Christmas tree that Freddie and Roger had decorated with a hundred different coloured balls in it was another story though, keeping the glass ornaments in one piece while the kittens constantly jumped for the branches was a full-time job.

''So Fred? Jumper? Where is it?'' Roger asked.
''Which jumper are you referring to, dear?''
''Christ, which day of the year is it you poncy imbecile? My Christmas jumper, I know you've seen it, the blue one with the reindeer on it,''
''How should I know where you keep that ghastly thing,''
''I always keep it hanging in my cabinet with my shirts and sweater vests, as you know and now it's suddenly gone missing. So where is it?''
''Perhaps I threw it out,''
''Why the hell would you do that? My mum gave me that for my fourteenth birthday!''

Freddie snorted. ''It was a completely dated rag, Rog, you could hardly fit into that thing anymore, the sleeves were too short for your arms and there were two rather large holes in the seams,''
''Fantastic, so I will be the only person on this whole fucking island without a proper jumper on Christmas day! It's a British tradition, you ingrate! How could you do that to me? I loved that jumper! Holes and all!''
''Rog darling, do calm down. You won't be the only one without a jumper today. Promise,'' Freddie soothed, patting on the mattress for Roger to sit down beside them.
''You bought me a new one then?'' Roger inquired, sitting down with a rather prissy, petulant look on his face.
''You will have to wait and see what's in your gifts, won't you? No spoilers darling,'' Freddie crooned, wrapping his arm around Roger's shoulder and pecking his cheek lightly. Brian knew that Freddie hadn't thrown his old jumper out, he kept it hidden from him for some vague reason and would return it later. Roger's new jumper was quite lovely compared to the old one but Brian suspected Freddie only lied to him because he knew Roger would never wear the new one if the old jumper was still in play. 

Roger didn't light up much, the big, sulking grimace on his face rather persistent. ''I'm sorry, I shouldn't have thrown it out. But I promise that I'll make it up to you all right? Can you please forgive me and light up a bit?'' Freddie begged, his face drooping with an innocence that Brian knew would be irresistible, even to Roger. ''Fine, you're forgiven for now. But if you ever do that again without consulting me I swear to God I'll punch you in the face, you know.''

''That's reasonable,''
''Good, oh by the way: Deaky's coming around lunchtime,''
''Sounds fun,'' Freddie remarked happily.

Their new bass player John Deacon, quickly nicknamed Deaky by Freddie because calling him John was dull, had been the guy they had been waiting for all along. He was perfect. He couldn't sing, nor did he want to, which pleased Freddie and he was incredibly talented and musical.
He studied electronics and taught them all sorts of new tricks. But he was also a very nice chap, a bit quiet and shy though. He only spoke when he had something relevant to say, which was a good quality if you asked Brian.
Still, he had found him hard to read at first but later learned that Deaky was just a private person, who only opened up to Freddie and occasionally to Roger. He didn't often confer with Brian, but Brian hoped that would change over time when Deaky would be more comfortable being in their band.

The cats awakened at Roger's side, stretching their little paws and yawning deep. They stumbled over to Roger and pressed their faces against his side, climbing into his arms. ''Good morning you little poo machines,'' Roger laughed. He stroked their backs gently and kissed their tiny heads. ''Speaking off shit, it's your turn to empty the litter Bri, it's starting to stink again,''
Brian groaned. He loved the cats but scooping out their smelly droppings was the least favourite part of his day. ''I'll give you five quid if you do it, Rog,''

''No chance, you could offer me a thousand quid and I'd still let you do it, we put up a schedule for a reason and it's your turn,'' Roger snorted.
The cats pressed their faces against his cheek and licked his skin until Roger giggled like a girl.
''I think they may be the youngest gays I've ever seen in my life,'' Freddie contemplated, nodding to the kittens, ''Or they just mistake you for a woman, that's a massive possibility too, perhaps you should put on that lovely red skirt again,''

Roger fought off a furious blush from the memory of when Freddie dressed him up like a woman a few weeks ago. He looked so eerily much like a lass-mostly due to Freddie's make-up skills- that most people on the street barely even turned their heads at him. While Freddie and Brian loved to tease him with the charade, Roger was adamant to brush off each memory of his afternoon as the incredibly pretty ''Liz.'' He sidestepped the topic once again, going on the offensive. ''Fuck off Fred, you're just jealous because I get more hugs from them than you do,''

''Of course, I'm jealous! They're a bunch of ungrateful degenerates. I found them, me, I heard their cries when no one else did. And all they want is to sit on your lap like two gay groupies, how is that fair?'' Freddie was merely joking, Brian could tell.
Roger was wise enough to ignore that statement. ''Right, I'll give them their breakfast then. Do you two fancy some tea?''

''We would love some tea,'' Brian retorted, knowing that Freddie would never say no to tea. When Roger and the cats disappeared into the kitchenette, shutting the door behind him, Freddie turned back to Brian, nearly jumping him. He kissed him lazily and yet intensely, humming into his mouth.
''We should get out too, I have to make breakfast,'' Brian interrupted between the pecks. ''Just one more minute, love,''
''Nothing takes one minute with you, Fred,''

Freddie grinned wide at him, clearly thinking of sex again, as always. ''I never heard you complain about it, lovey,''
''I'm not complaining, I just have a ton of work to do today. Prepare the meals and all. It's not like you two are any help with that,''
''Good point,''
''So as much as I would love to stay in bed with you all day to spoil you, I ought to get up and prepare breakfast and get started on the roast for lunch,''
''I still cannot believe that you're cooking a turkey, you of all people,''
''Well I'm not going to be eating it, I'm merely preparing it for you, Rog and Deaky,''
''That's very considerate of you, I'm sure the turkey will appreciate the fact that you won't eat it,'' Freddie snorted sarcastically.
''Sod off, you know how I feel about eating meat. I don't have time to have this argument again,'' Brian said when he saw Freddie's lips part to throw a new comment in his face.
''Fine,'' Freddie pouted, lip curled up innocently.

Brian rolled his eyes at him and leaned in, pressing their mouths together hard. ''Don't sulk, love,'' he told Freddie. Who would, of course, sidestep that statement and do as he liked?
Brian loved the fact that they still bickered about literally anything, as they had done before they started their relationship.
Arguing with Freddie was like a benevolent drug to him.
And now it was even better because when they had riled each other up properly they could take it out on each other in the bedroom. Releasing that pent-up energy in a way that they hadn't been able to do a few months ago.

''Go then, go do your job, you old housewife,''
''I love you too Fred,''
Freddie rolled to his side and gazed up at Brian, all puppy-eyed and innocent. ''You do?''
''I do, even when you're being a whiny brat,''
Freddie cocked his head sideways and glared at Brian. ''Fair enough,''

Brian slipped out of his bed and dressed in some old clothing, knowing that he may get grease spatters all over his shirt. Turkeys were tricky buggers, they had to be basted constantly or they would turn dry. When he ogled Freddie, he was nearly seduced to slip back into that bed and go for another round.
Freddie lay sprawled out like an obscene, raunchy cat, his hand moving over his stately erection. ''Are you sure you don't want to stay a bit longer love? I'm still wide open from last night, you can slip right in,''

Jesus Christ, how was Brian supposed to say no to that invitation? Freddie was positively insatiable when it came to sex, Brian was convinced he could have sex for twenty-four hours straight and still not be tired of it and craving another round. And he was tempted...oh how he would love to flip Freddie over and shag his brains out. But there was no time for this now.
He had to get started on his cooking otherwise he would never leave the bed. ''You fucking tease,'' he groaned, wandering to the bed and kissing Freddie hard, plunging his tongue deep into his mouth.
Freddie whined and moaned as their tongues battled for dominance, his arms trying to pull Brian back into the bed.
Brian had to remain standing or he would never be able to stop himself once he lay down on the mattress. Luckily for him, Roger helped him out and shouted, ''Tea's ready!''

Brian took that moment to pull away from Freddie, shaking his head at his lover. ''You're mean Fred,''
''I'm mean? You're the one who leaves me hanging all horny and alone in this bed. That's not very Christmassy you know,''
''We had sex three times last night you needy shit,''
''I can never have enough of you Brian May,''
''Clearly,''
''Will you please come back to bed?''
Brian sighed, aggravated that Freddie wasn't giving up. ''I don't have time Fred, I'm sorry,''

Freddie looked a bit rejected and Brian knew he had unwillingly hurt his feelings by saying no.
Freddie was vulnerable about rejection, he knew that. He needed validation and assurances. Sex was one way to comfort him, another one was insane, bucket loads of love. Which was Brian's only option right now?
He sat on the bed and cradled Freddie close to his chest, folding his arms around him. ''Listen, if I had time I would go for round four, five, six, round twenty if you wanted to. I'll make it up to you tonight, I have a surprise in mind for you,''
Freddie's ebony eyes lit up as he curiously gazed at Brian. ''Oooh, what is it?''
Brian panicked, he was making this up as he went along and realized that he had to think of a surprise quickly. He would have to improvise. ''It's a surprise so I can't rightly tell you,''
''Spoilsport,''
''I know,''

''If I help you cook today will you fuck me again right now?''
Brian fought off his snort with much difficulty. ''Fred um I mean this with a lot of love, but what exactly do you think you can help me with in the kitchen?''
''I don't know, I can peel and cut things. Like onions or potatoes. I know I'm a lousy cook, but the preparation is a different story,''
''That's true, but have you ever peeled anything other than an egg?''
''No, but I'm a quick study,''
''Oh, I'm sure you are,''
''So will you let me help?''
''I'll give it a try, you can be my sous chef,''
''Fantastic, take your pants off then,''

Brian shook his head determined yet a little remorseful. He wanted to fuck Freddie so badly that it was nearly embarrassing. ''No! I still don't have time for this right now. I have to make breakfast or Roger will start to fuss like a two-year-old,''
''Brian Harold May did you trick me into helping you without rewarding me for it?''
''It's a possibility,'' Brian shrugged callously.

He threw Freddie's sweats to him and smirked. ''Get dressed princess, time for tea,''
''I'm not a princess, I'm a bloody queen,''
''That you are, the queen of my universe,'' Brian agreed, pressing a kiss to Freddie's temple. ''I love you so much, Fred,''
Freddie practically gushed, pulling Brian in again and kissing him deeply. ''You're the love of my life Bri,''

Roger poked his head back around the corner. ''Jesus will you two ever get out here, your tea is getting cold and I'm positively famished,''
Brian rolled his eyes. ''Rog, how on earth will you survive if you ever live on your own?''
''I'll hire a chef to make certain I won't starve-obviously,''
''Oh, will you? You must be stinking rich by then,'' Freddie teased.
''Well, of course, we're going to be filthy rich at some point! Have you heard us sing?'' Roger stated cockily, modesty not being his strong suit. ''That's true, we are bloody good,'' Freddie agreed.
''You won't only need a chef Rog, you also need to get a housekeeper-or two-who clean up after you, who do your dishes and your laundry seeing how you cannot do any of those things yourself,'' Brian added, hearing the mild snarl in his voice.

He saw the conjoined twins exchange a mutinous glance that told him they would once more turn on him. Some things were never meant to change. ''Awww I think someone is feeling a little under-appreciated,'' Freddie cooed, making smooth circles over Brian's neck with his fingers.
''A little?'' Roger debated, ''He's practically sulking like a child,''
''The only children in this house are the two of you,'' Brian countered. He ogled Roger, huffing pompously to piss him off a bit. ''Especially you, at least Fred helps me with the laundry sometimes, you won't even pick up a dirty sock and throw it in the hamper,''
''You're such a whiny wanker Bri! Like you're so bloody perfect-''
Freddie ended their fight like a trained referee would end a brawl on the rugby pitch. ''Children please, it's Christmas! There shall be no fighting on Christmas! Peace on earth and end to war-remember?''

''You started this,'' Brian sneered back, chastising himself that he had let Freddie lure him into this discussion, one that he truly hadn't got the time for today. Unfortunately. Roger's laziness in the house was something he would like to address properly but now was not the time.
''I don't recall that anyhow the show must go on my dears. Let's get to work Bri, we have some serious cooking to do,''

Roger snorted humorlessly. ''Right, like he's going to let you help and allow you to touch the stove,''
''He's going to peel things Rog, needless to say, that I'm cooking but I could use a hand so if you like you can chop some things for me,'' Brian gave it his best-albeit rather futile-attempt, knowing that Roger would never say yes to that.
''I would if I could, however, I'm not very handy with a knife and I might chop my fingers off,''
''Of course, darling,'' Freddie shook his head indecorously.

They made their way to the kitchen and Brian emptied the kitty litter and whipped up some scrambled eggs for the three of them. He didn't want to spoil their appetite for lunch so he kept the portions rather small, which made Roger fuss as he knew it would, but Freddie quickly ended that rift.
Brian wouldn't be able to live with Roger without Freddie in the house to tell him to stop being a needy shit sometimes.
Roger had turned the record player on, playing Frank Sinatra's 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,' one of Freddie's personal favourites. 'Driving home for Christmas,' would soon follow afterwards, being Roger's favourite song.

Jerry jumped onto Brian's lap, just as he wanted to take his empty plate to the sink. Brian stroked his soft back and felt the kitten gnaw gently onto his forefinger, licking as well as nibbling. ''Hello there darling, nice to see you choosing another lap for a change,'' he murmured, conveying Roger, who for once actually brought his dishes to the countertop and quickly rinsed them with some water.
He didn't say anything and Brian didn't need him to, but the look Roger gave him was slightly apologetic. Brian nodded appreciatively. It was enough for him, for now.
Roger disappeared into his bedroom and shut the door.
Jerry leapt off Brian's lap and wandered with his brother to Roger's shut door, meowing loud and squeaky until Roger finally opened it again and sighed, lifting them from the floor and carrying them inside.
A moment later Brian heard muffled singing coming from behind Roger's door, telling him that Roger was rehearsing his new song again.

When Brian turned to look for Freddie he saw him sitting in front of their Christmas tree, hands around his knees, glaring at the copious lights and gifts. He looked so young, so beautiful. Careless. Nearly innocent.
Brian truly should do the dishes but he couldn't help himself, his legs carried him to Freddie as if they had a mind of their own. He sank on the scruffy carpet behind him and curled his arms around Freddie's shoulders, hauling him in closer.
Freddie's head rested against the nape of his neck, he turned his head sideways to Brian and laid a featherlight kiss on his cheek. ''I want to give you your gift now,''
''No Fred, we agreed to do the gifts after lunch, when Deaky's here to open his too,''
''I know that but I want this to be between us love, I don't want Rog and Deaky there. Please?''
''Oh all right,'' Brian conceded. He had been wondering what was inside the wrapping paper for a long time. Freddie had nearly lost his life for this item, it had better be worth it.

Freddie gleamed excitedly and retrieved the square, narrow present with Brian's name on it.
There were more gifts under the tree, one or two per person. Some were rather large like Roger's jumper that Brian and Freddie had picked out for him together, others were small and boxlike.
Some long and rectangle, like the new set of drumsticks that Brian had bought for Roger.

Freddie had bought Roger a rather strange Asian scarf decorated with temples, nightingales and cherry blossoms that he would probably either loathe and never wear or love to death. It was hard to predict. According to Freddie, he would love it but Brian wasn't too certain about it.
Deaky got Roger a pair of white wristbands.

''Open it, darling,'' Freddie chimed, placing the gift in Brian's hands. He looked as excited as a five-year-old boy. Brian's fingers quivered a bit before he tore the paper off it, revealing a small box. He opened it and his jaw faltered involuntarily. ''I saw it and it made me think of you, I knew I had to get it,'' Freddie said, looking pleased with Brian's bemusement. ''Do you like it?''

It was a brooch. And not just any brooch. One with a beautiful badger on it, standing in a country-like landscape, with forests in the background. It was so intricate, there were so many details on the golden metal. Brian had never seen a pin this breathtaking. It was a bit larger than your average pin and Brian could tell that he could wear it on his cardigan like a brooch but also use it as a necklace.

He felt tears sting behind his eyes and nodded. ''I love it, Fred, it's perfect. It reminds me of home. Thank you,''
Freddie kissed his tears away and nibbled happily on his lips for a moment. He looked proud and incredibly smug. ''I knew you'd love it. I know you get homesick sometimes. And badgers are your favourite animals so I truly couldn't lose with this one,''
''I can't believe you found something so priceless like this at the market,''
''I know right? Some crazy old lady probably threw it out. Oh well, one person's loss is another one's treasure,''
''Well it still wasn't worth nearly dying over love, but it is a pretty damn good gift,''
''Told you,''
''I'll wear it forever Fred, thank you,''
''You're welcome my dove, but you shouldn't wear it now. You may get it all greasy and ruin it,''
''I would hate that, I'll place it back in the box for the time being. But I am wearing it at lunch and dinner when I'm in my better clothes,''
''Darling you could wear this and still look ravishing,'' Freddie beamed. He placed the box down and curled up in Brian's lap, claiming his reward, kissing him senselessly until he forgot his own name.

Neither one of them heard Roger come back into the living room. ''Is anyone going to let Deaky in or what?''
Brian and Freddie blinked at each other. ''Deaky?''
''He rang the bell downstairs, haven't you heard the buzzer?''
''No,'' they said in unison.
''I'll get it then, don't get up,'' Roger grimaced, wandering to the door and pressing the button that opened the door to their building.
Brian looked at the time, it was nearly eleven. ''Deaky's early then,''
''He called and offered to come to help you cook,'' Roger shrugged.

''Great, I can use the help,''
Roger ogled the cast-aside wrapping paper and narrowed his eyes. He folded his arms together ominously. ''Did you two start opening presents without me?''
''Only one for Bri darling,'' Freddie retorted, nodding at the box.
''Oh, the infamous gift that you nearly got yourself killed for,''
Freddie smirked sardonically at Roger. ''Yes, that's the one,''
''Don't open anything else until we're all here all right?''
''We won't dear, we were only sharing a private moment,''
''Well that's a change,'' Roger's voice was positively drooping with sarcasm.

The doorbell rang and Roger stepped toward it to let John in. He was carrying a bag with gifts and there was snow in his long auburn hair.
He wore a blue scarf around his neck and looked positively freezing. He wished them all a happy Christmas.
Roger embraced him briefly and stared at the younger man. ''Wait it's snowing?'' he asked ecstatic, nearly storming to the window to look down.
John snorted loudly. ''No I have a bad case of dandruff, yes it's bloody snowing you genius!''
Freddie and Brian stood up to say hello, hugging him as Brian took his coat and hung it on the hat rack. John wore jeans and a warm grey sweater vest.

''Would you like some tea Deaky?'' Brian offered, never one to forgo his manners. ''Yes please,''
Roger and Freddie were looking out the window as if they had never seen snow before. Roger lifted the kittens in his arms, giving Tom to Freddie. ''Look you two, this is your first snow. It looks like a nice soft blanket but it's quite cold, isn't it Fred?''
Freddie put his arm around Roger, nuzzling him close. ''It sure is,''

Brian shook his head, placing the kettle onto the stove and turning his focus back to Deaky who stood near the table. ''Take a seat,''
''Thanks,''
''Are you going to your parents later?'' Brian asked, busying himself with washing the dishes to fill the time in a useful manner.
''No, I'm going over tomorrow,''
''Me too,''
John nodded but the silence returned to the table. Brian heard Freddie and Roger mumble something incoherent and saw them step into Roger's room, whispering and sniggering like a bunch of schoolgirls.

Great, just great. He was left alone with John, who Brian liked sure, but they hadn't talked that much. This was probably why Freddie was leaving him alone with John, so they could bond. Freddie was sly like that.
''So, did you write any new songs lately?'' John asked when Brian offered him a mug of tea.
''Actually, I haven't but Rog said he was scribbling a Christmas song. I haven't had much time or inspiration lately,''
''Freddie claiming up all of those huh?'' John asked, smiling mischievously.

Brian flushed, cheeks hot. ''Sort of, yes. Look, we never talked about it, but I want to make certain that you don't have a problem with um-well with me and Freddie being...''
''Together?'' John assisted, a thoughtful glance on his face. ''Why would I have a problem with it, Brian?''
''I don't know, Fred told me that you're raised Catholic so I assumed-''
''That I despise men who happen to love men instead of women? Well, I don't. I'll admit it took some getting used to, seeing you two kiss and all that but I don't have a problem with it,''
''I'm glad to hear you say that. We want you to feel at home with us and making you uncomfortable isn't mine nor Freddie's intention,''
''You can stop worrying, I'm perfectly fine with it and I do feel at home with you guys,''
''Even with me?'' Brian couldn't help but ask.

''Why would you ask that?'' John wanted to know, his brown eyes laced with suspicion.
''Occasionally I get the feeling that you're not too comfortable around me. That you like Fred and Roger but that you don't like me,''
John grinned. ''That's funny, I could have said the same to you. I thought you didn't like me but Freddie told me that it takes a while for you to warm up to new people. So I sort of kept my distance you know, not wanting to step on your toes,''
Brian was going to scold Freddie for not telling him that he had made John feel like this, but that would come later. ''I'm sorry Deaky, I don't do it on purpose. And I like you a lot, I waited a long time for another sensible, smart guy like you. It's not always easy to deal with those dramatic divas I call my friends,''
John laughed at that. ''I'm sure it isn't. But you love them,''

''That I do, in that I had no choice,''
''They're lucky to have you to take care of them. Now, what can I do to help?''
Brian placed some onions on the cutting board, handing Deaky a knife. ''I could use some fine cubes if you don't mind,''
''No problem,''

They actually managed to sustain a nice easy conversation during the preparations, something that Brian hadn't anticipated and learned that there was much more to their bassist player than he had thought. Now that Brian finally let his guard down he detected that he and John actually got along quite easily.
Roger and Freddie reemerged from the bedroom and lined up next to John. ''What can we do to help Bri?'' Roger asked.
''I'm sorry. We?''' Brian goaded, blinking at Roger.

''Don't be a dick about it, just put me to work. I'm only offering this once, you know,''
''Did you put him up to this?'' Brian asked Freddie but his lover shook his head warningly. ''All him,''
''Of course, because I can't have a change of heart on my own right Bri? I need Freddie to tell me what to do, you can be a real dick sometimes you know that?'' Roger spat out, clenching the knife tighter in his balled fist.
Brian felt like a miserable twat and wasn't sure what he could say to make it right. Thankfully Deaky helped him out. ''So, what's your new song about Roger?''

As Roger started babbling about it, Freddie pulled Brian away from the stove and dragged him to the sofa. ''What is it? I'm rather busy Fred,''
''I have to show you guys something, but before I do I want your take on it because I might need your support to convince the other two to go along with it,''
''What are you talking about love? You're not making much sense,''
''Come on,'' Freddie led him to his bedroom and shut the door behind them. ''I thought of a new name for our band. I even designed a crest, but I want to know what you think before I tell them and get shut down for even suggesting a name like that. If you at least like it, it's two against two instead of one against three,''

''Fine fine, show me what you made,'' Brian said, conveying the clock on the wall rather anxiously. He was truly fucked, the turkey had to go in the oven now otherwise it wouldn't be ready for dinner that night.
Freddie took his sketchbook from his drawer and flipped through it, looking for the right drawing. He inhaled deeply and looked uncharacteristically nervous before revealing it to Brian. Queen.
Freddie had written Queen in giant letters under a crest built up out of all sorts of animals. Two lions standing on the left and right side, a phoenix above it, a crab and a pair of fairies near a crown somewhere in the middle. ''I'm still working on the logo, I did two Lions because of Rog and Deaky, a Cancer for your zodiac sign and a set of fairies because I'm a Virgo. And the Phoenix, well it just looked majestic. What do you think?''

''Queen Fred? Did you name us Queen? Isn't that a bit too obvious considering our relationship?''
''Queen as in her royal highness darling, not because we're queens,''
''Which I'm still not, by the way, you are,''
''Precisely! I don't know, I just adore the name, Queen. It's catchy, bold, outrageous. It's not boring like Smile. We would certainly make an entrance for ourselves with it,''

Brian debated that for a moment. Only Freddie could come up with something like Queen. And in a certain light, it made sense for them because the name was so typically Freddie that Brian couldn't dislike it. ''What do you think dear?'' Freddie questioned, gazing expectantly at Brian. ''I love it, Fred, it's a bit out there but in a way, it's precisely what I expected you to come up with if that makes sense,''
''It does,''
''And I love the logo too, it's creative and brilliant,''
''Awww, stop it, love, you'll make me blush. So you're on board with Queen?''
''I am,'' Brian dipped his head and claimed Freddie's lips wantonly. They kissed lazily for a few minutes before Brian found the heart to release Freddie. ''Come on, let's go tell them,''

''Now?'' Freddie asked, sounding a bit panicky.
''It will be fine, they'll love it,''
''Oh all right, at least you have my back,''
''I will always have your back Fred,''
''Awww you're too good to be true Bri, I love you so much,''
''I love you too dear,''

When they returned to the kitchenette they found Roger and John still peeling and dicing spuds, carrots and onions. ''We want to propose something to you two,'' Freddie started.
John smirked at him. ''Shouldn't you be proposing to each other instead of us?''
''Hilarious,'' Roger cackled, slapping John's shoulders as he nearly doubled over with laughter.
''Shut it, Rog,'' Brian snapped angrily. ''This is serious,''

''Sorry Bri,'' Roger said meekly.
''I thought of a new name for our band, I want to show you what I created,'' Freddie's voice was barely audible and Brian felt the nerves radiating off his partner. He laid a hand on Freddie's lower back and felt the older man relax. ''Here it is,'' Freddie turned the sketchbook to Roger and John and silence settled in the air, growing heavier with each second. ''Queen?'' Roger exasperated. ''Queen?''
''Yes darling, Queen,''
''And you said Smile was dull, Queen sounds rather insignificant too don't you think?''
''Smile was rather tedious Rog, Queen sounds exciting, fresh,'' Brian cut in, adamant to push this name over the line for Freddie.

''A-ha so that's what you two were doing in the bedroom, conspiring against us,'' Roger concluded, snorting at John who lifted his shoulders and said, ''I like it, the logo too,''
Roger turned his head so fast that he nearly dislocated his neck. ''Really? You can't side against me, I thought you were supposed to be my friend,''
''Nice one Rog,'' Freddie mocked, shaking his head in disbelief at Roger's blatant manipulation.
''Well three against one then, I guess Smile and I are outvoted, old news,'' Roger sulked.
Freddie slung his arm around Roger's shoulder and pecked his cheeks. ''You'll learn to love it, darling,''
Roger smiled gently at him, his tantrum all forgotten. ''I'm sure I will. Queen, it is then,''
Brian nodded. ''Sounds great, now let's get this bloody turkey ready for the oven,''

When he was finally done with his preparations Brian found himself standing at the countertop, cleaning the tiles with a damp sponge. A set of arms came around his waist, holding him from behind, snuggling against him. Soft, pliant lips darted over the nape of his neck, making Brian quiver and moan softly. ''Hmm?''
''I was thinking of what Deaky said before about proposing. Would you ever consider it?''
Brian's heart started hammering in his chest. ''Consider what Fred?''
''Marrying me, if it ever becomes legal for us I mean,''
''No,'' Brian said, nearly feeling Freddie deflate behind him. ''I wouldn't consider it, I would marry you immediately, without a doubt,''
He heard Freddie's sigh of relief, followed by a warm chuckle. ''That was cruel of you,''
''Bite me,''

Freddie did, gobbling playfully at his elbow. Brian yelped, twisted around to face Freddie and plastered their lips together. He never even noticed that he was burning his gravy. Freddie was his whole world and at that moment nothing else existed except for them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The end.

Notes:

So there you have it. The end of my first ever Queen fic. I hope you guys liked the ride and this final chapter. I had loads of fun making it.
I tried to portray Deaky the best way I knew how but I'm not sure I pulled it off. I hope so.

I want to thank everyone for their support on this story! It wouldn't have been this good without it. I feed off of it.

Oh and I had to include something with badgers for Bri right? And how sweet is Freddie? I also wanted to incorporate the Queen crest and Freddie suggesting the name.
If you see any errors feel free to let me know, I'm not a native English speaker.

I struggle with endings. I never know why but they are my kryptonite. Beginnings are easy but endings really drag me down. I hope this meets all your expectations.

Kudos if you caught all the lines I stole from Queen songs in this story. I used quite a bit of them throughout this entire fic.

Let me know what you think guys! Thank you all for staying so true to this story! <3

Notes:

I hope this was okay guys. Be gentle with me okay. And feel free to point out things that aren't correct like spelling errors. I'm not a native English speaker.

Please let me know what you think, I'm curious to your opinions.
Thank you for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it.<3