Chapter Text
I had barely left the house since returning from Windhelm having killed the man responsible. I knew I would never have found the Argonian who did the deed. No doubt they’d have returned to Black Marsh. Finding the man who had given the order was enough. Though I barely left the house, I still received the occasional visitor. Brynjolf would drop by once a week, letting me know the latest news and gossip from the Flagon. Karliah would visit every so often, just to see how I was doing. Aranea still worked for me, and though she hadn’t moved back in, spent more time at mine than anywhere else.
And then there was Haelga, who in no way tried to seduce me, but I know she was wondering if I would change my mind about our relationship, once I’d stopped mourning my wife. I would visit her grave once a week, placing a new bouquet of the flowers she had loved, letting her know that I was thinking about her, that I missed her terribly, but that I hoped she was at peace wherever she was. The first time I had visited her grave, I let her know I’d found the man responsible for her death. The flowers had bloomed spectacularly within a couple of weeks. Maybe it was just in my mind, but I took it as a sign that the news had made her happy.
But after three months, I was going a little stir crazy and needed to do something with my life. And the more I thought about it, the more I was ready to take Astrid’s offer. But more than that, I was missing the intimate touch of a woman. The last time I had been intimate with my wife had been the night everything had gone wrong. Besides my wife, there was only one woman I would consider being intimate with. The fact I knew she would be receptive made things slightly easier. I couldn’t mourn forever, and I knew Muiri would want me to move on. And considering she knew of my previous relationship, I’m sure she’d approve.
Walking into the Bunkhouse, Svana was at the counter. She smiled at me and yelled upstairs that I was there. Haelga came bounding down the stairs and leapt into my arms, rather happy to see me. I couldn’t help chuckle at her excitement. Leaning back to look at me, the smile on her face was infectious. “You look… better, Ragnar.”
“I had to get out of the house. It’s getting rather lonely moping about. So, I thought I’d come visit you.”
Leaning forward, looking up at me, she asked, “And you thought of me first?”
“I did.” My hands were on her back, and I slowly moved one down so it rested just above her arse. “I have to move on, Haelga.”
“I understand, Ragnar. I had to do the same thing when I lost my husband. Such a shame we now share widowhood in common.”
“Aye. Perhaps a topic best not discussed too often.”
She smiled. “But now you’re out of the house. What did you want?”
“What I wanted was for you to join me in the Bee and Barb for dinner tonight. Would you like to join me?”
“Just dinner?” she whispered.
“Honestly, no. I can’t remember the last time… But I also know how that must make you feel…”
She leaned up to kiss me. A soft, gentle kiss. The first time I’d kissed a woman since that last night with Muiri. The first time I’d kissed another woman since the day I proposed to Muiri. Yet, because of the history I had with Haelga, it felt right immediately. “I’ll join you there once the sun has gone down. Would you like to return here with me?”
“Aye. Returning to Riftweald…. Honestly, I just want to sell it…”
“No, don’t do that. Make new memories in addition to those already there.”
“Maybe I should get a new bed though. It wouldn’t be right…”
“I can’t tell you what to do, Ragnar. Do what you think or what feels right. No matter what you do, Muiri would understand. And I’m sure you know she’d want you to move on.”
I kissed her, the same she gave me. I didn’t exactly want to put on a show for Svana, plus there were still a few hurdles in my mind I needed to get over. But it was nice to hold a woman in my arms again, Haelga resting her head against me as I gently stroked her hair. “I’ve missed this feeling,” she said softly, “And before you say anything, don’t apologise. I know how happy you were. And I’m sorry…”
“Thank you. It means a lot, especially from yourself.”
For the first time in three months, I had reason to smile. Haelga said again that I looked much better before I left her to work, and I found myself wandering around Riften. I still felt the weight of the world on my shoulders but I felt better about things. I hadn’t trimmed my beard or hair in months, nor had a proper wash, so I headed to where Aranea still lived, and asked for her help. When I told her why, she immediately escorted me back to Riftweald, where my beard and hair were trimmed and neatened up, water heated so I could enjoy a proper wash, and she made sure I dressed to impress.
“Now, just remember one thing, Ragnar. You go as fast or as slow as you want. I know why you’ve gone back to Haelga. You want intimacy again.”
“Know me that well?”
“You’re a man, Ragnar. And, trust me on this, I know what it’s like to go without intimacy for a long time.” Taking a step back, she looked me up and down. “And I’m sure Haelga will be impressed with the effort you’ve made. You won’t be returning here?”
“No, I’ll stay at the Bunkhouse if the night goes well.”
Taking a seat at my usual table, I received plenty of hearty hellos as I sat down and enjoyed a tankard of ale, chatting with anyone who wanted to join me. Most simply enquired as to my state of mind, as they wouldn’t have seen me in months. And if they had, I’d probably shared few words with them. Haelga walked in as I was nursing a third tankard. She kissed my cheek before taking a seat opposite. If anyone was surprised by her sitting with me, they didn’t show it, and no-one made any comment. I bought her a tankard too, and ordered dinner.
It was just like old times, and I found myself laughing quite a lot that night, Haelga regaling me with stories of life in the Bunkhouse. After we finished eating dinner, Haelga cut straight to the chase, asking if I’d like to accompany her home. I said yes without hesitation. She offered her hand and practically dragged me away. “Enjoy yourself, Ragnar!” I heard someone call out, to the laughter of plenty of others. I certainly wasn’t going to take offence.
It had been a long time since I’d been in Haelga’s penthouse. Well over a year and more. Nothing had changed, though. Once the door was closed, she was all over me, her mouth desperate for mine, her hands trying to disrobe me as quickly as possible. I was returning the favour, and may have accidentally ripped her dress. She told me not to worry, so I ripped it some more before it dropped to the ground. Underwear followed just as quickly before I led her backwards to the bed.
“No foreplay,” she said, “Just sex.”
“Sure?”
She nodded as she shuffled backwards, beckoning me to join her with a finger. I did kiss up her body, taking a breast in my mouth for a moment, giving each nipple a quick bite, before kissing her, my right hand down by her sex. I couldn’t help smile as she was soaking wet. She needed to gasp when I touched her. “I haven’t had sex in over a year, Ragnar.”
That brought me to a halt. “You’re serious? But… You’re you!”
“I was still in love, Ragnar. I still am now.” She put a finger to my lips. “And you don’t have to say a thing. Just letting you know.”
Sliding my cock inside her, I watched her face break into an enormous grin, hearing her gasp as I wasted no time burying my entire length. She felt just as good as the first time I’d been inside her. Wrapping her legs around me immediately, I was quickly thrusting away into her. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she dragged me down to kiss her. I growled into her mouth as I fucked her even harder. She needed to break the kiss to moan. “Yes, Ragnar,” she hissed quietly, “Fuck me!”
“I won’t last long.”
“I don’t care. Fuck me and cum in me. This is just the start.”
I stopped a moment. “The restart?”
“Just fucking, no feelings this time. Well, at least in the sense I still love you, but that’s just how I feel. But I’ll always be here if you want some fun, Ragnar. You think I’d say not to this magnificent thing currently inside me?”
I resumed fucking her, feeling her legs tighten around me, urging me on to go faster. I could feel the need to release rather urgently, lifting her body with mine, burying myself even deeper if possible, causing her to cry out as I drove my cock into her harder and faster still.
Then I erupted inside her, groaning so loudly, they probably heard me all the way in Solitude. Then I needed to relax, using a forearm to prevent squashing Haelga underneath me, her legs and arms still wrapped around me, laying soft kisses on my cheeks before kissing me again.
“Well, I think we both needed that,” she said a little later.
“Give me a few minutes to recover, then you’re riding me until you cum.”
“Ever the gentleman, Ragnar.”
It took barely ten minutes for me to be hard again, and considering I’d just cum, I would last much longer. Rolling me onto my back, Haelga wanted to suck my cock first, and I quite happily watched her do it, as she was as talented as ever, ever eager to swallow my length. She wouldn’t get a mouthful of cum, but happily sucked away until she was ready to mount me.
Watching her slide down my cock was rather exciting, my Nord goddess feeling back home with my cock inside her. And she happily bounced and grinded away as I grabbed a breast in each hand, giving them gentle squeezes, maybe giving her nipples a tweak. Moving a hand down to her sex, I licked my thumb and gently rubbed her clit. That pretty much set her off and she enjoyed her first climax of the night. But she kept on going, though grabbed my wrist to move my thumb away, insisting her next one would arrive from my cock alone.
Manoeuvring backwards, I was in a seated position so we could make out as she continued to ride me. Running my hands down her back, she was already sweating, not that I cared, particularly as her body language suggested she was approaching a second climax. “Thrust up,” she pleaded. I somehow managed to do it from the position I was in. That made her cry out, leaning forward to hold me, breasts pressed into my chest as she cried out into my ear.
“Holy shit, Ragnar!” she said softly once she stopped moving.
“Enjoy yourself?”
She leaned back. “Enjoy myself? I haven’t had that good an orgasm in months.” After kissing me again, she added, “Want my arse tonight too?”
I smiled but shook my head. “I just want what we’re sharing right now. But if you want, we can get into some of the crazy stuff again, if you’re interested.”
“Definitely.”
Hopping off my lap, we settled down together side by side, Haelga spooning against me. A thousand memories came flooding back for me, and I’m sure they did for her too. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered after minutes of comfortable silence.
“I’ve missed you too.”
“And you’re welcome anytime you want, Ragnar. Just like before.”
“I’m not falling in love again, Haelga.”
She turned around to face me, kissing me softly on the lips. “But you still love me?”
“Yes, but…”
Another finger on the lips. “No. You love me. That’s all I need to know. We were never going to have what you shared with her. That’s why I was… content to let you go. I never wished that…” She sighed. “Anything I say won’t sound right. I can’t even say I’m glad you’re here without it sounding awful.”
“How about this? There is only one other person each of us would rather be with. But we can’t be with that person, so we find love and companionship with each other.”
She smiled. “That works. And the really good sex helps.”
“Just good?”
“Great. Superb. Life-changing.”
I was soon poking her in the rear, and it only took a slight shuffle for my cock to slide inside her again. She rather liked me holding her in my arms, cuddling and fucking her from behind. Lifting one of her legs over my own, I moved one of my hands so I could fondle her at the same time. “You want me to have another one?” she asked with a chuckle.
“I’m going to cum so you are too.”
She suggested we make it a little more comfortable, and a little easier for me to fuck her, so she got on her hands and knees, and I definitely groaned as I slid inside her. Grabbing a handful of her hair, I noticed her smile as I started to pound her, and she quickly dropped onto her forearms, resting on one as her free hand started to fondle herself. “I’ve missed the feeling of those hands on my hips, Ragnar.
I stopped, still buried inside her, and asking, “Would you like the return of the special room?”
“What about…?”
“I can’t keep it forever. That’s not healthy. So, as you said, I’ll make some new memories.”
“If you want to, Ragnar, I won’t say no.”
I started pounding her again in agreement. All she did was rest on her forearm, looking back in my direction with that gorgeous smile of hers. I hadn’t lied to her. I would not fall in love again, but I’d definitely enjoy rekindling my relationship with her. To be honest, I’m just glad everything still worked. I’d been in such a depression; I’d barely taken care of my own physical needs.
And I’d always enjoyed the intimacy I’d shared with Haelga. I’ll admit that I hadn’t particularly missed it while committed and then married to Muiri, but she had been interested in hearing about the things we’d been up to. My lovemaking with my wife had always been markedly different, as although she was intrigued, we kept it what I would call ‘normal’. I’m sure some would probably call that ‘boring’.
Warning Haelga I was close again, I could see her shoulder and top of her arm move quickly, so knew she was rubbing herself to orgasm, though I’m confident what I was doing was doing most of the job. She was still bent in such a way so I could watch her face, and I knew she was getting close too.
“On you?” I asked.
She smiled but shook her head. “No. Another time. I want to feel it inside me.”
Well, I wasn’t going to deny her what she wanted, my hands gripping her even tighter as I started to drive into her even harder. She lowered her body down to the bed, barely lifting her arse up, begging for me to just ruin her. That led to me not lasting more than a couple of minutes before groaning rather loudly, buried myself deep one final time, before I exploded. She kept fondling herself and followed me not long later, and once we were both done, I lowered my body to gently lie on top of hers.
She didn’t want that for too long, eventually wanting to flip over onto her back, though as my cock was still relatively hard, had me slide back inside her before wrapping her arms and legs around me again as we continued to make out. It was just like old times, except we were around eighteen or so months older.
“I’d like to fall asleep like this, with you still inside me… Though I’d want you to keep fucking me too!”
I eventually softened enough that we just had to clean up and lie down together again, Haelga spooning into me so I would hold her as tightly as possible. “Ragnar, if we resume our relationship, will you want to be with others again?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“Like before, I wouldn’t be upset if you were.”
“How about this? You will be my only girl in Riften.”
“So no Ingun or Karliah?”
“Ingun is a good friend. I’ve always liked her, but that aspect has long since passed. As for Karliah, I don’t think she’d be interested. She’s now just a very good, close friend. I think if she or I offered, we’d probably fall into bed immediately, but to be honest, there’s a reason why I’m here right now.”
“You thought I’d be easy?”
That made me chuckle. “No, not like that. I just figured…”
She leaned back to kiss me. “I’m teasing, Ragnar. I would never say no to restarting what we shared. I knew you just needed time.”
“You don’t feel… I don’t know, like…”
She kissed me again. “Never. I knew you ended it with heavy heart to begin with. And, more importantly, Ragnar, I knew you were in love. It would have been incorrect of me to somehow make you break your word to Muiri.”
We fell asleep and woke up in the same position, the first time I woke up with a woman in my arms for months. Despite waking with a raging erection, I admitted I just wanted to enjoy the feeling of continuing to hold her, as I was remembering all the little details of her body. Her spectacular arse and legs. Soft skin. Soft, perfect breasts that I may give a gentle squeeze. Long blonde hair that still had that scent of flowers I remembered. Blue eyes that looked into mine, and I could see the same feelings in them, as if we’d never spent time apart.
As I said, she had been, was again, and perhaps always would be my Nord goddess.
Eventually having to get up, we dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast. Svana was friendly as always, stating she was glad to see me back in the Bunkhouse after so long. She sat down next to me once she had served Haelga and I, and I wrapped an arm around her in thanks. “Will you be visiting often?” she wondered.
Looking across at Haelga, who couldn’t help smile and blush, I said, “I think I’ll be a regular visitor. That’s if Haelga isn’t at my place. The only proviso will be if I’m in Riften or not.”
“Will you have reason to be away?”
“I need to resume my life. I’ve spent three months moping around my house. It’s time to do something. I’m just not sure what.”
“Any ideas?”
“Just the one. I had an offer a while back. I’ve been thinking about it for some time.”
“What sort of offer?” Haelga wondered. I just shook my head. “I don’t want to know?”
“Well, I haven’t exactly been doing much regarding my other… ‘job’ since I was married. Doubt I’ll start doing that again. I’m still the boss, still take my cut, but others are now running it, and they are still abiding by my rules, as far as I know. But I received a job offer regarding something else I’ve proven rather adept at. I might see where that goes.”
“Will that take you away from Riften often?”
I could hear the longing in Haelga’s tone. She wanted me around all the time. “Hopefully not. But I could be away from time to time. It will depend on if I actually take the offer, though I’ll insist I won’t be moving. I’ll probably head off in the next few days and see if the offer is still available.”
Between that day and leaving for Falkreath, which I did at the end of the week, I made some changes to Riftweald. I bought a chest and started storing the personal effects and mementoes Muiri had bought, and the little things that reminded me of her. I couldn’t get rid of everything. I would want to open the chest occasionally and look at things. But the nursery was an open wound, and I finally emptied that out, giving away most of the things for free, most things to the local orphanage. I bought a new bed, as I couldn’t share the same bed I’d shared with my wife with another person. To me, that just didn’t seem right. Plus, the bed held far too many memories. I should have thrown it out long ago, but in my mind, I could still feel her presence when I went to sleep each night. Her clothing… A few things went in the chest, but I sold or gave away nearly everything else.
I moved the chest under the new bed, where it would stay, not forgotten, but I wouldn’t open it too often. I moved everything around in the bedroom, and also downstairs, giving the place a sense of ‘newness’. Aranea walked in one day to see me changing everything around, immediately stepping in to help, realising what I was doing and why. When we were finally done, she hugged me as I released the final bit of grief I still held deep down inside me, her words nothing but soothing, again understanding what was happening.
“Feel better?” she asked later.
"I needed to do that. Now I can look around and not see a reminder every single second.”
“You’ve seemed a little more content lately, Ragnar. Your reconnecting with Haelga is going well?”
“I will invite her over one night soon. And… well… The room I had before…”
“It’s probably a good thing I will remain where I am living,” she stated with a smirk.
“Perhaps it would be for the best. I plan on making new memories with Haelga around the house.”
I noticed the eyebrows raise. “You will only be with her?”
“When I’m in Riften, yes.”
From that first night back together, I spent five nights at the Bunkhouse, reconnecting with Haelga, not just physically, but also emotionally. She had freely admitted to still being in love with me. I admitted I still carried endless affection for her, but I had been honest about not wanting to fall in love. She understood why, though did make a subtle joke that I did love her, though not in love with her. She was probably right, but I didn’t want to get her hopes up too soon.
On the morning after the fifth night, I let her know I would be heading away from Riften. I couldn’t say how long, but I needed to get active again. As before, she admitted to being worried about me while I was away, but trusted me to look after myself, though gently warned me not to get either injured, arrested or killed. I couldn’t make that promise, though told her I had a reason again to return home so would rather I didn’t end up like that. I think telling her that near enough made her cry. Instead, the lovemaking we shared that morning nearly earned a round of applause from everyone else in the Bunkhouse when we headed down for breakfast an hour later.
Riding my horse, back out on the open road, I felt a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in a long time. Sure, I was armed and armoured, ready to fight, but after so long not having even thought about leaving the city walls, with each mile further from Riften, the better I started to feel. My ride towards Falkreath wasn’t uninterrupted, as I found myself stopped a trio of bandits about halfway along. Taking on three bandits at once wasn’t something I’d normally contemplate, but it was opportunity to test my sword arm again, as I was sure to be rusty, and most bandits are usually poor swordsman.
The three attacked me at once, so I had to fight dirty, using my shield to block and bash, my feet aiming either for knees or crotches, as I had no problem hitting a bandit it in his lower regions. He didn’t deserve that sort of respect. I put one of them on the ground rather quickly, leaving me to face two of them. So I thought taunting them would help.
“Sure you want to keep fighting a Nightingale?”
“Heard of them. You don’t look like one.”
“My armour is at home. Okay, how about the boss of the Thieves Guild?”
“I heard he was dead.”
“If you mean Mercer Frey, then you would be correct.”
“No, the other one. He was supposedly murdered with his wife.”
That just pissed me off, so I shut up and put them both down as well. One still lived as I put a sword to his throat. “Who told you that?”
“Told me what?”
“That I was dead with my wife?”
“Just a rumour. It was just a rumour. The sort of thing shared over a campfire.”
I put my sword through his throat, enjoying the sound of him choking to death. I could have made some sort of quip, but he was a bandit, and wasn’t worthy of any more time than necessary. The rest of my ride to Falkreath took place without further incident. I left my horse outside the Sanctuary, away from prying eyes of anyone walking the road, and found the door would open on approach.
Wandering downstairs, Astrid was in what I could already assume was her usual place, leaning against the table. I stopped and looked over her fine figure. She had a fabulous arse, the legs leading up to it also rather nice and long. She must have noticed my presence as she eventually glanced in my direction, and definitely knew I’d been checking her out, as she immediately smiled. “Well, this a pleasant surprise, Ragnar.”
Walking forward, I was surprised when she stepped forward to embrace me. I completed the embrace, and a few memories of a certain night started to flood my mind. I particularly remembered what she looked like under that skin tight armour.
Stepping back after a couple of minutes, she asked, “What brings you back to our Sanctuary? I heard about Torbjorn…”
“I’m sure everyone has. Any link back to me?”
“None whatsoever. Another unsolved murder in Windhelm. Ulfric’s capital doesn’t appear to be the safest place in Skyrim. But that’s not why you are here, is it?”
“I need something to do. I’ve been thinking about your offer for quite a while. I’ll do it, with two provisos.”
“I’ll hear them, Ragnar, if you’re being honest.”
“One. I wish to remain living in Riften. I’m not sure how it works, but you can send orders by courier, can you not?”
She nodded. “Yes, we have people we can trust to send letters. Okay, that’s your first point, and I can immediately say that’s fine. What’s the second?”
“I want you. And not just a one-time thing. I’ve done my grieving, but I’m not falling in love again. I have a woman in Riften I’m intimate with. When I’m not in Riften, I might be here. And if I’m here, I want you, in a bed, naked on top of me with my cock inside you. I hope that’s blunt enough so there’s no reason for misinterpretation.”
The smile that formed suggested she liked that idea very much. “Well, I’m sure we can figure something out, Ragnar. But what about my husband?”
“Is he still a werewolf?” She nodded. “And when was the last time you were fucked?”
“That night we shared, Ragnar.”
“By Ysmir, is he dumb or something? I mean, look at you! I’d get a cure tomorrow then ensure we were intimate all the time.”
“Careful, Ragnar. I love my husband, but compliments like that will have me performing the Black Sacrament for a certain reason…”
“Can it work?”
“Yes, I will tell him straight. If he refuses to do the right thing for his wife, then I will do what I need to do.” She cleared her throat. “Would you like to meet the others?”
“Sure.”
Arnbjorn, her husband, was what I expected. A Nord warrior, quite intimidating, though maybe to others, and his grip of my hand as he shook mine suggested he knew exactly who I was. He was rather gruff and short with me. Didn’t particularly blame him. Babette was a ten-year-old girl, though learned later she was actually a three-hundred-year old vampire. I understood quite quickly how she carried out her jobs. Gabriella was a Dunmer, with a beautiful, melodic sounding voice, the sort that would have me smitten, and after a conversation with her, learned she was incredibly dangerous. Was I attracted to her straight away? Damn right, I was. She knew too. Festus Krex was a grumpy, old human mage, who despaired at the plight of the Dark Brotherhood, and there were subtle suggestions he wasn’t happy with Astrid’s leadership. Nazir was a Redguard who handled contracts on behalf of Astrid, with a dark and dry sense of humour. The sort of guy I’d enjoy a tankard of ale with. Finally, Veezara was an Argonian Shadowscale, the last of his kind, and someone who appeared to like and respect Astrid quite a lot.
Returning to her table, Astrid felt it necessary to explain what was expected of me as a member of the Dark Brotherhood. I simply assured her I was in this as I was clearly good at it, much like I was pretty damned good thief, and I clearly lacked that part of the heart or brain that made them feel guilty when they took another life. I’d killed for love. I’d killed for revenge. I’d even killed for power, if you look at how the death of Mercer Frey worked out for myself. Now I could kill for coin. All I said is that I did have one or two rules. I wouldn’t kill children, which made Astrid laugh, as she insisted they would never accept that sort of contract, and I wouldn’t do anything else other than kill. She understood the insinuation, and said the Brotherhood only assassinated.
Before my joining was official, she wanted to know that I’d kill on demand, or as ordered. She confessed that she knew I’d probably kill just to please her, and I replied that she was right. The rush of adrenaline I’d feel would want something from her in return. But it still needed to be done, to prove to everyone else that I would do as ordered. I agreed and accepted the first contract.
“Head to Dawnstar, Ragnar. You have no reason to contact the person responsible for requesting the assassination, but do you want to know why?”
I shrugged. “If the person needs to die, they need to die. Knowing why isn’t going to change that.”
She smiled. “That’s right. It’s not for us to judge. We merely carry out the request. So, you are looking for a woman by the name of Beitild. She runs the Iron-Breaker Mine on the outskirts of the city. She separated from her husband around a year ago, and has been left angry and embittered by it. I’d suggestion slight caution, simply because she will fight you, depending on how you approach her.”
“I’m guessing it’s rather late out now, so I’ll leave tomorrow.”
“Will you stay here?”
“I’d rather stay down the road at the inn, to be honest.”
“I’ll join you.”
“Already?”
“Ragnar, you’ve made it perfectly clear what you want from me, and I’ll make it clear in return. I feel the same way. So, if you head off now, get a room with a double bed at the inn, and I’ll be there shortly.”
I couldn’t help grin as I let her know I was looking forward to seeing her soon.
After booking a room, I ordered a meal and a tankard, taking a seat in a dark corner, listening to the lone musician strum a harp. Astrid took longer than I expected, and when she walked in, she glanced my way, my temper rose, and I followed her into the room I booked. Closing the door behind me, she didn’t turn to face me until I gently rested a hand on her shoulder. “Let me see,” I asked quietly.
She turned around slowly, and my temper rose further as I noticed the already forming black eye and blood dripping from a nostril. “He did this?”
“I gave him an ultimatum. Either the blood or me. He made his choice.”
“Astrid, this isn’t…”
“I know it isn’t!” she stated loudly, before sagging into me, and I held her tight to my body. “I know it isn’t, Ragnar,” she said softly, “There’s an attraction, and maybe it’ll turn into something else. But it’s been so long, and he made his choice. He chose the blood over his wife.”
“Where is he?”
“Gone. He hit me a couple of times, packed his few things, and left. To be honest, I thought he would turn, then try and kill me. But he made do with calling me a few names before he stormed out. But it was time to force the issue. I know he loved me, but he also had a duty regarding certain things, which he refused. So I said I would go looking elsewhere if he was to make that choice.” She leaned back, and I used my hand to clean away the blood. “Can you just hold me tonight, Ragnar? I want to be intimate, but I just want to feel your arms wrapped around me tonight.”
“Can I undress you first?”
“Do it slowly.”
I took my time, and she slowly started to smile as her skin was exposed. Once she was nude, she did the same to me, and once I was naked, we slid under the covers. I held her in my arms, gently stroking her skin with my fingers, and she eventually grabbed my wrist and moved it between her legs, as she quietly pleaded for me to get her off. I didn’t mind at all, and after her climax, she turned to face me, burying her face into my chest as she wept. “Fucking bastard,” she sobbed.
“Do you want me to find him and take care of it?”
“No. He’ll be long gone. He’s an expert tracker. To be honest, Ragnar, I can only suggest you watch your back.”
“I’ll be fine. And I have plenty of friends. I’ll put the word out when I get back to Riften.”
“Please don’t blame yourself. It was always going to happen. I haven’t been happy in a long time. I loved my husband, but in the end, it was the idea of him rather than anything else.”
She eventually fell asleep against me, and I laid there thinking I’d just broken up a marriage. Astrid would deny that, as I think what she said was also true. It had been a long time coming. I mean, going a whole year without feeling the intimacy of your husband? No wonder she was so eager to be with me again, as I’d made it rather obvious, and quite blunt, that I would like to be intimate with her. But I just hoped she wouldn’t expect too much more from me.
We didn’t make love the next morning, as I rose early, leaving her to sleep in bed. I crouched down next to her before leaving, running a hand through her hair as she looked at me before kissing her. She told me to be safe, and return to the Sanctuary once the job was done, and that we would hopefully enjoy some more time together upon my return. That was something to definitely look forward to, so I suggested I’d be rather eager to return as quickly as possible. That made her laugh, and after a final kiss, I left her to sleep.
I couldn’t remember if I’d ever been to Dawnstar or not, but it took a bloody long time to get there from Falkreath, at least two nights camping on the way. And it was far to the north, so far that only snow covered the ground. It was a rather barren, white landscape, and due to the exposed nature of Dawnstar on the shores of the Sea of Ghosts, the wind ripped through the city and anyone who happened to be walking or riding through the exposed regions of the Hold.
Finding the target wasn’t particularly difficult, as I asked where Iron-Breaker Mine was, and was pointed in the right direction, the mine lying on the outskirts of the city. Finding Beitild wasn’t too difficult, being the angry, bitter, raven-haired miner, who looked just about to have given up on life. I spent a couple of days tracking her movements, as I didn’t want to be caught in the act. She spent all of her time between three places. Her house, the mine, or the inn.
The most obvious place was her house, as she lived alone, though spent little time there, only returning to sleep each evening. On the day I chose to do it, I spent most of the day wandering the northern coast, taking in the view. There was a harsh beauty to the northern sea, and it was so cold, ice formed in certain places. Few animals and little vegetation abounded, adding to the bleakness. It remained dry, but bitterly cold.
I completed the job at night. I won’t go into detail, but as it wasn’t personal, I made it quick and as painless as possible. But upon returning to the inn to sleep, I still felt nothing. No guilt. No sorrow. No… anything. Just like when I’d killed for Muiri. Just like when I’d killed Grelod. So I guess I was the perfect choice for the job. Losing Muiri and having my heart ripped out probably helped at the same time.
Leaving Dawnstar under the cover of darkness, I camped at a ruin I was aware of a couple of kilometres outside of town. It was a rather cold night under the furs, but I had made sure that few had noticed my presence around town, but figured that Beitild going missing would be noticed quickly, so I made sure to rise with the sun in the morning and head south straight away.
Walking into the Sanctuary almost a week after I’d left, Astrid was pleased to see me and happy the mission was completed without a problem. Considering I’d now proven myself twice, as she remembered the fact I had willingly killed Grelod, even though that was ‘owed’, she made my position within the Brotherhood official. “How do you want to celebrate?” she wondered, the smile on her face letting me know how she thought we should do it.
I’m not sure how much later we finally slept. I could count up her climaxes, but that would just feed my ego. I enjoyed at least three during the night as we explored each other’s bodies with our mouths and hands. She was an absolute sexual dynamo, releasing years of pent up sexual frustration. On that very first night, she gave me everything she could, and you should probably know what I mean by that, as she joked the next morning that she would have some trouble sitting down for breakfast. But as we laid together under furs the next morning, it felt just like it was with Haelga. Plenty of affection after a night of passion, and I was slowly but surely starting to feel myself restored to how I was before Muiri.
“I’ll be returning to Riften today,” I told her over breakfast.
“I understand. And I won’t use a courier to contact you. I think I could find reason to visit Riften every so often.”
“I’d like that. But, please remember, you might meet Haelga if you do show up unannounced”
“I won’t be offended, Ragnar. I’m intrigued.”
“You share similarities. Blonde. Nordic. Beautiful.”
“And we like the sex?”
I laughed, replying, “No, you both love it.”
“I’m sure I’ll visit you quite soon, Ragnar, if it’s anything like last night.”
“It can be like that all the time and even better.”
“Definitely plenty of reason to visit Riften more often then.”
I was polite enough to walk Astrid back to the Sanctuary before returning home. Standing close to me, she reached up to stroke my cheek, a smile on her face, the sort of smile I’d seen before from certain women in my life, though I think the reason for hers was a little different. After another long kiss, holding her tightly to mine, our desire building for each other as we did, I eventually pulled away and wished her farewell. She replied again that she would be in Riften sooner rather than later.
I told no-one what I was doing on my return to Riften, but in addition to still being master of the Thieves Guild, technically at least, I was now, for all intents and purposes, an assassin.