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Rules of the Band

Summary:

In retrospect, it’s kind of Ashton’s fault that it all starts.

He’d eaten the last of the Vegemite, something he knows Michael and Calum feel very strongly about, and it had resulted in a sheet of paper pinned to the fridge by a frog magnet that had ‘Rules of the Band’ scrawled in Calum’s handwriting at the top.

 

Rules of the Band

  1.        NOBODY WILL EAT THE LAST OF THE VEGEMITE!!! 

Notes:

this is just a really quick drabble same i really hope they have a list like this

Work Text:

In retrospect, it’s kind of Ashton’s fault that it all starts.

He’d eaten the last of the Vegemite, something he knows Michael and Calum feel very strongly about, and it had resulted in a sheet of paper pinned to the fridge by a frog magnet that had ‘Rules of the Band’ scrawled in Calum’s handwriting at the top. 

Rules of the Band

  1.        NOBODY WILL EAT THE LAST OF THE VEGEMITE!!! 

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It kind of becomes a thing after that. 

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Rules of the Band

  1.    NOBODY WILL EAT THE LAST OF THE VEGEMITE!!!
  2.    nobody will eat ashtons secret supply of food
  3.    if michael is hungry he is allowed to eat ashtons secret supply of food
  4.    Michael will not hide his dirty laundry in Luke’s laundry basket in the hopes of Luke not noticing and doing it for him. Luke notices.
  5.    Luke will stop leaving towels all over the place
  6.    calum will start using towels instead of having his balls hanging out all over the place
  7.    Michael will start showering after shows to save the rest of the band from his horrible sweaty stench
  8.    ashton will start checking the shirts he is cutting up before shows to avoid shredding michaels favourite green day shirt
  9.    LUKE WILL STOP STEALING EVERYBODY’S GODDAMN UNDERWEAR
  10.    luke is allowed to steal ashtons underwear
  11.    Michael is not allowed to try and steal his underwear back whilst Luke is wearing it
  12.    calum will stop singing at seven in the morning
  13.    I don’t sing at seven in the morning. That’s Luke.
  14.    luke will stop singing at seven in the morning
  15.    Michael will learn to appreciate true music
  16.    nobody will wake michael up under any circumstances
  17.    what if one of us is dying
  18.    i don’t care
  19.     He who has possession of the remote is in control of the remote.
  20.    Unless he happens to be Michael.
  21.    rule 20 vetoed.
  22.    you cant veto rules michael
  23.    i don’t see that anywhere on the list
  24.    Rules cannot be vetoed.
  25.    except by michael. who vetoes rule 20.
  26.    ESPECIALLY by Michael.
  27.    the band will not bully michael simply because he has the best hair
  28.    Luke and Ashton will not have sex on Calum’s bed
  29.    since when are luke and ashton having sex?!?!
  30.    GUYS
  31.    HELLO
  32.    oh wait you’re all out shopping
  33.    This isn’t a discussion forum, Mikey
  34.    michael will be told how much the band loves him at least once an hour
  35.    michael is not loved by the band
  36.    Michael is loved by Calum
  37.    calum is out of the band for not laughing at ashtons jokes so rule 35 is unaffected by rule 36
  38.    ashton will not tell jokes
  39.    michael will not bully his band members simply because they have an active sex life and he does not
  40.    Nobody will discuss each other’s sex lives
  41.     Luke and Ashton’s sex life will be discussed at great length
  42.    Ashton’s daddy kink will also be discussed at great length
  43.    band members will stop referring to ashton as ‘the daddy of the band’ in interviews
  44.    LUKE AND ASHTON WILL STOP HAVING SEX AT THREE IN THE MORNING FOR GOD’S SAKE
  45.    MICHAEL CAN NO LONGER LOOK LUKE IN THE EYE
  46.    MICHAEL NEVER WANTS TO SEE LUKE’S BIOLOGICAL FATHER AGAIN
  47.    Michael will stop being grumpy about Luke and Ashton’s sex life and cuddle Calum instead
  48.    LUKE AND ASHTON’S SEX LIFE WILL NOT BE DISCUSSED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  49.    somebody will buy more paper to allow for more rules
  50.    that somebody will not be ashton