Chapter Text
UNKNOWN
239ST(&*(sCY (*#&*@**GW239*EN((*^%^@&329
Read 8:48 PM
UNKNOWN
re#)ply?? @%#@Tes#$# P#$ter%^ parker ((( )
[[ERROR 404]]
[[ERROR 404]]
[[ERROR 404]]
[[ERROR 404]]
I’ve met vending machines with better spam bots. whatever it is I’m not interested
CALLER BLOCKED
UNKNOWN
M@iles i#%#@i, eply pl@$#$& @$#!you can! as (($% I figured o)*!&@&**///@#* interdimen*(@(($&@*}}{{O@||@#. @?>@#>**($ get this? Let m@@!!now
??????
who is this
P$eni Pa#rk!!?r!! and SP//DR
Peni???!!!
YE#S!!
Message received, I think??
Is this really you????
UNKNOWN was changed to PENI????
%%$You a##5re M@iles Morales
youI&&r sh$##lace is prob@$abl $# untied
Shut up
Also
HOLY CRAP
PENI!!!!!!
How are you doing this???
PENI???? was changed to PENI!!!! (Sparkles )
St@^ $need to test. Is th*(@is readable?
it’s better now. less gibberish
Are my texts getting through?
Yes
Keep talki@!!, the m)((#&*ore texts you send, the bett!@$er the p#@rogram ge@$@!ts
Are you@!{}”OK Miles?? I didn’t +@(||} back from the others. Yours @!%#s the first that worked
I'm ok!!
How are you? You made it back OK?
How’s SPDR??
Did you make another suit?
Yes I'm ok!
Spider is OK (Slightly Smiling Face )
Building a new mech
Were there any
Errors in those texts?
Nope. I got an emoji too?
Great
I think that
I can send short texts
If they're long
There's data corruption
Sorry for
All the notifs
Peni this is amazing
Oh god
It's so late
I need to go to bed
But now im wide awake
I know
I just spent like 36hr
On just uploading data
From the portal
Now it's 2am
Okaasan is po@#%unding on my door
Can’t she underst!@and
I JU(*&ST MADE SCIENCE!!! (*≧▽≦)
I’M SO PROUD OF YOU
THIS IS SO COOL!!
it's 2am where you are too??
Get some sleep!!
Back atcha
It's 1:49
I tried to link up the
Frequencies so
It'd be the same TOD
For everyone
Which day depends
On when everybody left
I think I accidentally
Sent Peter a msg before
he went thru the portal
He may have blckd me
Oh no
What about Gwen + others?
Mr Parker will be hardest
I messed up with Gwen's
Need to try again
Don't know where
To begin with Porker
Anyway just checking in
So glad this works!!!
And it didn’t blow up
Your phone!!!! (★^O^★)
Go to sleep now!!
You earned it!
YOU TOO!!!
(Sparkling Heart )
(Black Heart Suit ≊ Heart Suit)
UNKNOWN
Hey kid, heard you’re working on an interdimensional communicator thingamajig. Need any help? (Pig Nose )
It's Ham btw (Pig Nose )
Ham??? It’s Peni! How did you do this?
Got an interesting visit from some kid name Miguel (Pig Nose )
Gave me one of those clever keyboards and said I should try this number (Pig Nose )
Tapped my heels 3 times, thought of Kansas, spun around, and voila (Pig Nose )
UNKNOWN was changed to Spiderham (Pig Face )
I'm tracking the data packets you're sending
This is crazy, I’ve been manually mapping each universe’s sequence code and aligning time frequency for weeks
And you just did it perfectly on the first try!!
So unfair!! (_ _|||)
Power of cartoons (Winking Face ) (Pig Nose )
I’m so glad to hear from you
I’ve been in touch with Miles but I’m still working on the others, I made some mistakes with the data radiation protection and I think I accidentally cooked Gwen’s phone
Send me the other numbers, I’ll give em a shout (Pig Nose )
Then I can send you whatever you need (Pig Nose )
We don’t really think about the hows too much in my neck of the woods, imagination is the limit here. Comes in handy (Slightly Smiling Face ) (Pig Nose )
Thank you Ham!!! ♡＾▽＾♡
GWEN
Hey Gwendolina, it’s your favorite swine superhero
this isn’t funny joe
i told you all the ham comics are for research, i’m doing a social project on spiderman’s comic book influence in the 80s
Easy tiger, it's really me (Pig Nose ) (Spider )
wait
what
??????
ham??
prove it
You have shared a file
GWEN has downloaded your file
WHAT
HOW
DID YOU JUST SEND ME A HAT AND A LIVE FOLCK OF BIRDS THROUTGH TEXT
THEYRE EVERYWHREHE
THEY JUST BURST INTO MY ROOM ONCE I CILKED ON TEH HAT???
(Face With Stuck-Out Tongue ) (Pig Nose )
i'm so
i want to be mad theyre making such a mess
but
is this really happening??
Sure as sugar (Pig Nose )
Peni's getting us all connected through her phone (Pig Nose )
I think, I wasn’t really paying attention to the details (Pig Nose )
Are you really doing a school project about me? (Slightly Smiling Face ) (Pig Nose )
no
i’m just telling joe that so he gets off my back after he found a bunch of old comics and merch in my bookshelf and called me a nerd
(Slightly Frowning Face ) (Pig Nose )
this is amazing!!!
you’ve been in contact with Peni? how is she? anyone else??
She's fine (Pig Nose )
I did get a visit from a new one, Miguel. Name ring a bell? (Pig Nose )
miguel? i don't think so. i'll see if there were any spidermen named miguel in these comics
Seemed like he had an interdimensional doohickey but he didn’t stick around long enough for me to examine it, I was trapped in some quicksand otherwise I'da taken him out one-two and made him answer some of my questions. Noir-style, you know. (Pig Nose )
i'm sure you would've
I’ll send your info to Peni (Pig Nose )
was that her who texted me earlier? please tell her not to fry my phone this time. it was old anyway but this one is new
To be honest with ya I’m not really clear on how all of this works, I just tap on the thought I want and the message appears for me. This thing’s pretty handy, I see why you kids are always fooling around on em (Pig Nose )
when i’m not busy cleaning bird crap out of my carpet, remind me to freak out over your ability to warp reality whenever you feel like it
PENI (Sparkles )
Mrs Parker invited me over to her place. she gave me her Peter’s old number. I wonder if it’s the same one as Peter B? 212-342-0902
Yup, that was the one I used
I think he’s blocked me ಠ_ಠ
I think I’ve got everyone all set up individually. A group chat will be more complicated because it’s not point-to-point, it’s a six-way data system that needs to account for everyone’s location in space-time
I get it, it's complicated
BTW I got a visit from that Miguel guy you mentioned
He just popped into my room??? and gave me something for my phone. it looks like a SIM card?
I think that’s why I’m not getting any more error messages from you
He did?? That’s good. Annoying but good (￣ー￣；)
I asked him to go to everyone’s dimensions and give them these chips I programmed to put in your phones but he just leaves me on read and i don’t know if he did
I think he's too used to talking to his AI
Seriously
Okay, it might take a couple of days but i think i have enough to make a comm package between you, me, and Ham
His universe is the easiest to connect to, the laws of reality just do whatever you want them to over there. It’s so cool but. Also infuriating
I’ll add the others one by one once we’re stabilized
This is so cool! You're amazing Peni I can't wait (Black Heart Suit ≊ Heart Suit)
(Sparkling Heart ) (Sparkling Heart ) (Sparkling Heart )
TEAM (Spider )
Peni (Sparkles )
Roll call! This is Peni
Here!
It's Miles
Ham
Present! (Pig Nose )
PENI (Sparkles ) has added GWEN to TEAM (Spider )
Peni (Sparkles )
Gwen don't block, it's Peni!
Gwen
PENI!!!
i got a visit from that miguel guy, he said you sent him. he grabbed my phone, stuck something it, then disappeared. kind of rude
who's here?
Hi Gwen! It's Miles
Gwen
miles how are you?? what happened to kingpin? you shut down the collider right?? are you okay??
(Smiling Face With Sunglasses )
Gwen
that answers nothing
good, in jail, yes, i'm great
who else can we add now? what about the peters??
Peni (Sparkles )
I asked Miguel to visit Mr Parker’s dimension
Peter B definitely blocked me (ಠ ∩ಠ)
UNKNOWN
Check your front door
these spam bots are getting out of control. this couldn't even persuade me to get off my couch
It’s a package for you hombre, I just thought leaving it on your bed or something would be creepy
Yeah cause this isn’t creeping me out at all
Ugh dude
It’s a data point to connect your phone to specified time-points across the multiverse
I got it from the Japanese girl, I forgot her name
If I was gonna attack another spiderman I'd at least introduce myself first but I don't have time
gtg later
Who is this
RECIPIENT NOT FOUND
TEAM (Spider )
HAM has added PETER to TEAM (Spider )
Ham
Hurrah, we got him! (Pig Nose )
Peter
So I bet you're wondering why I've gathered you here today
Gwen
?
Peter
Just an icebreaker
Gets a laugh like zero percent of the time
I’m not sure how my number got out there this time but since Sprint is closed we’ve got until tomorrow morning to chat until I change my number again
What do you need, spiderman birthday party? Bar mitzvah? I also juggle but only if asked politely
Peter it's us!
Peni (Sparkles )
Hi! \o/
Gwen
gwen here
Ham
You do birthday parties? (Pig Nose )
Peter
What
I mean
I used to
Hold on
Nope, I'm still confused
What????
Peni (Sparkles )
Peter it’s Peni. I rigged up these proto-connectors to catch and send data packages to six point-locations across the multiverse
Well five, I'm still working on Mr. Parker
Didn't Miguel explain?
Peter
Who the hell is Miguel?
I found this thing taped to my front door
Got an anonymous text telling me to stick it into my phone
Seemed to do something
Wait how come the monochrome one is Mr Parker and I'm Peter?
Gwen
a strange number told you to stick a random SIM card they left for you into your phone and you ACTUALLY DID IT???
Peter
yeah???
is this really everyone no shit?
SHOOT
Ignore that I'm swearing
I am not a role model
Someone answer me
Yeah it's us!
Peni (Sparkles )
Everyone made it back home
Mr. Parker too but I haven't been able to reach him yet
Peter
Glad everyone's okay
What about Miles? Has anyone heard from him?
Peter I'm here
You have shared a file
There was an error uploading your file
I just tried to send a pic to prove it’s me but it didn’t go thru
Peni can we send images?
Peni (Sparkles )
Still working on it （◞‸◟）
Easier to send text right now
Sending anything else is too complicated at the moment
Ham
Speak for yourselves! (Pig Nose )
Ham has shared a file
Gwen
nobody open that
ham sent me a magician’s hat containing a flock of live birds over text last week
i’m not joking. a literal hat popped out of my phone when i tapped it
a bunch of doves flew out and got feathers all over my room
Peni (Sparkles )
WTF LOL (^ц^ )
Peter laughed at “a bunch of doves flew out and got feathers all over my room”
Peter
Shit I didn’t know that notifies everyone
I mean crap
Peter
Miles?
Yeah it's me
Hi Peter
Are you ok?
God
Yeah kid I'm okay
Not to be weird or anything but can you prove it’s you?
Last time we saw each other i left you to fight Fisk in a collapsing interdimensional portal, forgive me for being a little worried
You sound like my dad
would you believe it’s me if i said you still owe me $30 for breakfast
I'm good
(Raised Fist )
"he’s good" he says after nearly giving me a heart attack at 30
aren't you like 40
aren't YOU like twelve
seriously?? I'm 14!!!
(Slightly Smiling Face )
Look kid
I'm glad you're okay
yeah me too
you still haven't answered me about the burgers tho
Sorry Miles i’m getting a lot of 2398(*@# bad frequency kshhhhh #@$#)
you know it doesn't work like that
PETER
Read 4:49 PM