mirror true the sight i see

by Xekstrin

Summary:

In a universe where the arrival of your soul mate is heralded by a magical animal, Ahri and Evelynn think they have it all figured out. They found each other easily, and that should have been the end of that.

Then they get three more soulmates.

Chapter 1

 

‘We know our soulmates by the trials we face on the path to find them.’ That was what her mother always said. Evelynn found the saccharine martyrdom of it, the elevation of the self-sacrificial, to be incredibly boring. But she was too kind to say so out loud. If she realized there was truth to the phrase, in how so many of her friends awoke with painful markings on their skin or blind to all the colors of the world... well, Evelynn kept that to herself too.

Love shouldn’t be a crucible. She firmly believed that soul mates arrived when you were ready for them, and not a moment sooner. When you opened your heart and mind to the idea, your body would respond. It was as simple as that. Her own life experience proved it. Clear cut.

When she was thirteen, a fox cub appeared in her bedroom. It clung to her like a shadow, never needing food or sleep.

A few frantic phone calls and research trips showed that the manifestation of an animal for your soul mate wasn’t unheard of, just incredibly rare. Soul marks often presented as symbols or words on skin, rarely as something external and realized as an animal. Despite her claims otherwise, Evelynn always did have a flair for the dramatic. Maybe she learned it from her mother.

It took years for anything to come of it. Years of living with the shadow of her soul mate, wondering what they might be like. Knowing that somewhere out there, another person held a part of her soul, too. She wondered what animal she was. She wondered what it said about her character.

She hoped that she was a good person, that her soul mate didn’t see that splinter of her soul and dread meeting its owner. She tried so fucking hard to be a good person.

It ate at her more than she wanted to admit, not knowing what her soul was saying at any given moment. She could read the fox so well, saw so much of his owner in him. Evelynn saw capriciousness in the fox, vanity, and a sharp, wicked sense of humor. He even bit her sometimes, never breaking skin but always when she least expected, like he was testing her. Her first instinct was to lash out, but always, she hesitated. If she responded with violence to this, this little creature that depended almost entirely on her love, then what would she do when she met his owner? A human being with all their imperfections and flaws?

She learned patience from the fox.

Meeting Ahri was a bone-deep relief. She saw the pink snake wrapped around the other girl’s wrist, recognized her own soul in the animal’s eyes, and everything else fell into place. She never second-guessed any of it. How could she, when Ahri so perfectly complemented her?

Except sometimes, she did. Staring at the ceiling, awake at night. She questioned the concept of soul mates. She doubted the merit of something so utterly random and out of her control. But then she would turn in her bed and see her wife with a fox sprawled over her lower back and a serpent coiled on top of her head, all three of them fast asleep. And she remembered that the earth was nothing but a massive spinning ball of dirt and fire and gas, that literally every aspect of her existence was happenstance and out of her control.

Being existential and overly melancholy didn’t suit her. So she rolled with it and marched on.

Until one morning, Ahri stepped outside to get the mail and everything changed forever. She hovered there in the entrance to their apartment, stock still. Very slowly, she closed the door, ran over to Evelynn and scream-whispered, "Honey! Eve! Come quick, you've got to see this!"

Curled up on their doorstep was a baby deer small enough to fit in both of her palms, white-speckled and wide-eyed. In the middle of Seoul. Miles from any zoo or sanctuary or anywhere you might rationally find a deer.

"Hello, beautiful!" Ahri sang, her phone camera working at a frenzied pace. "Where did you come from? Are you lost? It's so small, Eve, what should we do...?"

The fawn's ears flicked forward when Evelynn peeked out the doorway, and their eyes met, and Evelynn knew.

"Isn't it cute?" Ahri whispered, as if the deer might bolt. In that moment, Evelynn realized Ahri didn't see what she saw.

"No," Evelynn said, opening the door wider.

Getting up on wobbly legs, the sign of her second soul mate scampered through the threshold.

 

---

 

Evelynn paced in front of their couch. At her heels, Ahri's fennec fox followed close as a shadow. They'd named him Kuho, because he always trotted with the confidence and air of a little runway model. Today was no different, though his fur was fluffed up at the tense atmosphere in the room.

"What does this mean?" Evelynn said, pacing, pacing, pacing. Kuho struggled to follow, and even stumbled once or twice until she bent down and scooped him into her arms. "What does this mean? What the fuck does this mean?"

Distressed, she held him on his back like a baby, played with his long ears, squishing them the way she knew he liked. Kuho closed his eyes, little toes flexing in delight at the attention. He was as real as ever, and she felt Ahri's energy pulsing inside of him as sure as a heart beat. Unquestionably, this fox was the mark of her soul mate.

So what was that deer doing on Ahri's lap?

When she dared to glance at the fawn, she saw the animal was tracking her every move, tilting her head to make sure she kept Evelynn in her sight at all times.

Ahri noticed, too. "She really seems to like you."

"She's a deer," Evelynn snapped.

"Aw, babe. Don't be like that." Ahri held the deer to her face, snuggling against the coarse fur. "How can you be mad at a face like this?"

"Very easily!"

Evelynn set Kuho down and plucked the fawn from Ahri's arms. The thing was only the size of a small cat, and a quick internet search confirmed that she was a Chinese water deer. And she was adorable.

Infuriating.

"I do have one theory," Ahri finally said, pulling on her hair and twisting it into nervous braids. "But you're not going to like it."

"I already don't like any of this," Evelynn said, trying to ignore how the deer insisted on resting her chin on Evelynn's shoulder.

Ahri bit her lower lip. "It is a baby deer. So maybe it means...we're about to have a baby?"

Oh.

Evelynn wasn't sure what she should say, if she should say anything. Ahri was resolutely not making any eye contact, twisting her hair tighter and tighter. They talked about this of course, they took precautions, but it had been years since either of them needed to worry about an accident happening.

"That's my responsibility, not yours. I didn't get my tubes tied for shits and giggles, you know." Still, Evelynn mentally added buy a pregnancy test to her to-do list, just to reassure Ahri.

"I know, but I'd be remiss if I didn't at least mention it. Those surgeries don't always take, HRT doesn't count as birth control, and even forgetting all that, there's other ways a child might land in our life." Getting up, Ahri moved closer so that she could stroke the deer's head again. "...She fell asleep."

Evelynn glanced down, hating how her heart twisted at the sight of it— the deer with her neck stretched out, chin on Evelynn's shoulder, breathing slowly. "Kuho was a baby when he came to me, too."

Ahri's mouth opened in surprise, eyes flooded with relief. "Oh? Eopsin was all grown up when I found her, so I assumed it was the same for you."

"Eopsin—" A sudden bolt of anxiety stabbed right through her. "Where is she right now?"

"Probably in her..." Evelynn didn't wait for Ahri to finish, sweeping further into the apartment. She found Eopsin in a fat pile on the windowsill, soaking up the morning sunlight. Her pink tongue flickered out, beady eyes as pretty as peppermint candy.

She breathed a sigh of relief.

"...favorite spot," Ahri finished, a few paces behind Evelynn. "See? She's still there."

Two warm hands encircled her waist. Ahri held Evelynn tight, her forehead pressed between Evelynn's shoulders.

"I am too. I'm not going anywhere, not if I can help it." Ahri promised, her palms resting flat on Evelynn's stomach. "And if it's something out of my control— well, I'll be at ease knowing you won't be lonely."

Without any warning, tears shot to her eyes. She wanted to wipe them away but she couldn't, not without jostling the baby deer and waking her. Don't say that, she wanted to beg Ahri, but she couldn't, not without betraying the fact that she was crying. Please don't ever say that again.

In the days that followed, she didn't want anything to do with the deer. Not even with how she followed Evelynn from room to room, clinging to her the way Kuho still did. It made her sick to see them cuddled up together at night, asleep at the foot of their bed.

She didn't know who she could talk to about this. Not only because of the unprecedented occurrence of having two soul marks, but because pure shame pinned her tongue down. Evelynn saw the mere presence of the soul mark as a sign of infidelity. She felt like she'd ruined their marriage without even meaning to, and she didn't know how she could fix it.

Shame was an alien emotion for her; she didn't wear it well. And worse than shame— fear. Terror at the unknown.

Once again, Evelynn was forced to confront the unknowable nature of their souls, of the forces that pulled and pushed them together regardless of how they felt.

"Fucker," she said to the fawn, who of course could not talk. Despite the soul mark in her eyes, she was still just a deer. "Homewrecker."

Ahri frowned. "Honey, I'm gonna to need you to get a grip. Okay? It's a deer."

"It's taunting me."

So Ahri just threw her hands up in defeat, letting the subject matter drop for now.

But eventually the days turned into weeks, and months into years. The deer stuck around, growing into an adult. Ahri thankfully took it all in stride. She only lamented that the fawn's spotted 'powdered sugar frosting' faded away, and her fangs grew in. Evelynn suggested that maybe the sugar had just caramelized, so they named her Ppopgi.

As time went on it grew harder and harder to stay angry. Especially as it became clear that Ppopgi adored them both. They couldn't reject her any more than they could reject the blood pounding through their veins. Not when Ppopgi only ever wanted to be loved, only ever wanted to be near them. She was sprightly and mischievous and so unerringly sweet that there was no way Evelynn couldn't love her back in turn.

"Don't you look cozy." Ahri hung from their bedroom door, peeking in at the two of them.

Over the cover of her book, Evelynn glanced down at the deer on her lap. Fully grown now, there was no mistaking her for a normal animal. Though Ahri didn't feel the pull of fate's strings, didn't see her soul mark in Ppopgi's eyes, anyone could tell at a glance that she was tied somehow to Evelynn's fate.

"She hogs up half the bed," Evelynn complained, even as she scratched behind her flickering ears, swapping to baby talk. "Don't you? You needy little dumbass? Huh? You little shit?"

"I'm just glad she isn't like a big deer." Ahri retreated around the corner, shaking her head and chuckling. "It's going to get cramped as hell in here when we find our soul mate."

Our soul mate.

Perhaps it should have been more obvious from the start. Both of them were so much readier to accept the idea that they would lose something, rather than the idea that something would be gained.

Ahri displayed absolutely no jealousy. She stayed true to her word: nothing would take her away. So the evenings often found all five of them sprawled out on the couch, one big weird family.

And one night she heard Ahri shout in surprise. A clatter in the kitchen roused her from her desk and Evelynn went to check on her. "Babe?"

Ahri sat on the kitchen floor, both hands covering her mouth.

"What's wrong?" She tried to see what was amiss, noticing nothing different except Ahri seemed to have dropped the rice cooker. Draped over Ahri's shoulders, Eopsin stuck her head up and turned to Evelynn when she entered the room. Her pink tongue flickered, tasting the air. Ppopgi was licking the flat top of the snake's head.

"I saw her," Ahri said, eyes wide, voice still muffled by her own hands as Ppopgi started to groom her, too. "Evelynn, I saw my mark in her eyes. Whoever her owner is, they're my soul mate, too."

Ppopgi gave them both a little nuzzle, and after that there was no doubt. What took Evelynn years to come to terms with, Ahri accepted right away.

Maybe that's why both of her soul marks had come to her so underdeveloped.

From the deer, Evelynn learned she had plenty of room to change and grow.

 

---

 

Meeting Kai'sa was a complete accident. But given their track record with 'accidents', Evelynn wondered if it hadn't occurred precisely when it needed to.

She should have known something was up when Eopsin insisted on coming along for their jog. Evelynn was positive she'd left the snake inside when she locked their front door. However, when they reached the park, her bag suddenly felt much heavier.

Sure enough, the snake was inside. Eopsin wasn't a natural animal, and no amount of distance could keep her away from Evelynn or Ahri if she really wanted to be with them. Likewise with Kuho and Ppopgi, but it wasn't so unusual to see them trotting at Evelynn's heels. They enjoyed their daily runs.

Ahri, however, did not.

"I hate thiiiiis," she moaned, lagging behind. The animals crowded around her when she stopped, Ppopgi nosing her in concern.

Evelynn took the opportunity to catch her breath as well, though she hated having her momentum paused. "Don't be a baby. This is good for you, you sit too much at your job."

"I have a standing desk!" Ahri protested, gasping in offense. "And I have to be on my feet chasing models all day!"

"It's still good for you!" Evelynn crossed her arms. "If I could trust you to keep up any kind of workout routine I wouldn't insist on this. And didn't you make me promise not to let you slack off?"

"Noo," Ahri moaned again, squatting down with her hands over her head.

"And didn't you tell me that I couldn't let you squirm out of your New Year's Resolutions no matter how much you whined?"

"Noooooo!" Ahri shouted louder.

Evelynn caved. Or she was about to cave, until a black fox the size of a doberman launched out of nowhere and snatched Kuho right by the scruff. He bounded off, stopping a short distance away with his tail swishing in excitement.

"Skaduwee! Geen!"

A tall woman jogged down the path, hot on the fox's tail. She reached for him, shouting in a language none of them understood.

Kuho let out a yelp before the two foxes vanished into thin air. Evelynn and Ahri could only stand there, stunned, as the stranger kept searching frantically for their animals. She swapped to English in frustration, swearing up and down. "When I find you I'm going to turn you into a fur coat, you...!"

Eopsin slithered out of Evelynn's bag. A pink streak of lightning, she wound up the stranger's leg, up around her chest, and under her shirt. Then she squeezed out of the collar to wind around her neck, accompanied by a piebald, black-and-white snake.

The two of them encircled her head like a crown, and in that instant it almost felt like they worked as a set of hands, turning her head towards Ahri and Eve.

"...Oh," the stranger said, standing a little off balance. The snakes dropped from her, but never landed onto the earth. Instead they vanished, too.

So only Ppopgi was left. Her hooves clopped lightly on the pavement, nose outstretched and ears pricked forward.

"Oh," the stranger said again, her knees giving way. She plopped down onto the ground while Ppopgi squirmed onto her lap, snuggling her furiously. The stranger pretty much had no choice but to hold her, arms loosely entwined around the wiggling, soul marked deer. "Oh. Oh my god."

None of them could say anything for a solid minute. Evelynn was the first to recover, cautiously speaking in English, since that was a language they seemed to have in common.

"Hi. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," the stranger said, sounding dazed.

She met Evelynn's eyes.

And she turned bright red, burying her face into Ppopgi's shoulder.

"No, I'm not fine!" she shouted. "This isn't how this is supposed to happen! You caught me on a really bad day, I'm so sorry. I'm all sweaty from running, and, and I just started my new job and it's stressing me out, my soul marks have been acting crazy, and it's laundry day so I'm wearing something really dorky, and—!"

Tilting her head to the side, Evelynn could barely make out the design on the stranger's shirt. It was a popular metal band. "It's not dorky. I like Pentakill, too."

Not able to follow along, Ahri made a noise when she heard one familiar word out of all the English.

"Why are you talking about Pentakill?" she said in Korean, pulling Evelynn down to whisper into her ear. "Get it together and ask her for her name!"

"She's freaking out right now, I'm trying to be gentle," Evelynn explained. "Shit. I never thought I'd have to play translator for my own soul mate."

"Um, I can understand you," the stranger said, also in Korean. Finally, she got up to her feet and started dusting herself off. Ppopgi forced her head under the stranger's hand, demanding to be pet even now.

She took a deep breath.

"My name is Kai'sa. And I guess...I'm..." her eyes flickered from one woman to the other, cheeks still pink with embarrassment. "Your soul mate?"

 

---

 

"Just be cool, Ahri, be cool."

Ahri kept repeating it to herself. She repeated it all morning as they got ready for work. She muttered it on the train, low enough that only Evelynn could hear. She sang it as she got dressed in the evening, a growing pile of discarded dresses on the bed as she tried to decide on one.

"Just be cool, Ahri," she said to her reflection, holding up a pair of earrings to see if it matched her outfit. "Be cool."

"Be cool Ahri," she muttered until Evelynn told her to stop, because she was applying Ahri's lipstick and didn't want to mess it up.

"Be cool!" she squeaked as they got off the train that evening and walked to Kai'sa's apartment. "Be cool!"

"Ahri," Evelynn finally said, her patience shredded paper-thin.

Ahri whirled on her. "What?!"

"...I need to double check the directions," Evelynn answered. "Are we headed the right way?"

Ahri took a moment, letting the words register. "Oh. U-uh, I think so." With shaking hands, she pulled her cell phone out of her purse and checked. "Yes, we'll be there in five minutes."

All the blood drained from her face, once the words sunk in.

"Ahri," Evelynn said warningly, but it was too late.

"I can't do this." Ahri turned around and tried to run back to the train station, but Evelynn grabbed her by the elbow and started dragging her along. "Agh! Evelynn, no! I can't do this!"

"You made me promise to not let you wriggle out of this," Evelynn reminded her. "Relax. We're just meeting our soul mate for dinner, not marrying her. It'll be totally painless."

Ahri's hands flailed. "But what if she doesn't like me? What if she thinks I'm boring? What if she, what if she's decided that my animal is a predator so that means I'm a serial killer?"

"Mine is a predator, too?" Evelynn's forehead wrinkled.

"Okay, but— "

Evelynn dragged her the rest of the way, no matter how hard she dug her heels in. Once they stood in front of Kai'sa's apartment, Ahri stared at the door and vibrated in place. But eventually, she was the one who reached out and knocked first.

"Coming!" Kai'sa called from inside. "Just a second!"

"Do I look okay?" Ahri whispered as they waited.

Evelynn took her hand, squeezing it. "You look beautiful."

"You always say that. You're my wife, you're biased."

She couldn't fight down the flicker of irritation that bloomed in her. "Then why bother asking me?"

"Because— oh!"

The door opened, and Kai'sa welcomed them inside.

"Hello! It's so nice to see you again." Kai'sa beamed.

"And with all of us wearing real clothes," Evelynn agreed, intending to tease, but not expecting Kai'sa to turn bright red. Interesting. Taking off her shoes, Evelynn peeked further inside to see a minimalist apartment, the walls covered with black and white photography.

Stiff and robotic, Ahri held up a bouquet of lilies. "These... these.... theseareforyou."

Those were the first and last words Ahri said for a solid hour. After finding a vase for the flowers, they got to know each other better. Kai'sa and Evelynn slowly felt each other out, sharing the stories of how they found their soul marks. Dinner was a blend of South African and Korean cuisine, and Kai'sa cracked open a few cans of local beer to go along with it. She served them both, and Ahri finally managed to squeak out thank you.

Evelynn didn't know what had gotten into her wife. Shy was the last word she'd ever use to describe Ahri, and it wasn't as though she dreaded meeting their soul mate. She'd been so excited she couldn't sleep. Now however, faced with the reality of it, Ahri looked like she was going through years of panic in the space of a single evening.

Evelynn was suddenly glad she'd taken her time coming to terms with the idea, because Ahri clearly still had some hangups.

"Let me take that," Ahri offered, gathering up the dishes and taking them to the sink before Kai'sa could even say anything.

Their soul mate— that was still a fun phrase to think about— looked after her with concern. With a polite smile to Evelynn, she got up as well and went to help her. Rubbing her forehead with the back of one hand, Evelynn just finished her drink in peace, listening to the two of them awkwardly try to talk.

"You really don't need to," Kai'sa said from the kitchen, faint over the sound of running water.

"Well, you cooked." She hated hearing Ahri sound so small. "Usually when Eve cooks, I'll clean. And vice versa."

"But I wanted to take care of you."

The water hissed, small clinking sounds of bowls and spoons and chopsticks drowning out anything else. If they said anything else at all, that is. Evelynn had a feeling they didn't until her wife curiously ventured out, "Where did you get that photo?"

Evelynn paused in the middle of pouring herself another drink, listening closer now.

"This one?" She head a faint thump, a tap of something hitting the wall. "My dad took it. He was into cinema, too."

"It's really good. Do you know what kind of camera he used?" The sink turned off, and their voices rang out much clearer. Something shredded between them, finally something in common that they were comfortable talking about, something not too personal but still opened the door.

"I don't, unfortunately." Kai'sa sounded genuinely disappointed. "Do you like photography?"

"I love it!" Even if she couldn't see her, Evelynn could hear the smile in Ahri's voice. "It's kind of how I got my job, though I don't actually take as many photos as I used to. Right now it's a lot of managing other people's photos for the magazine."

Kai'sa hummed with interest. "Which magazine? Maybe I read it!"

She finally laughed, her relief tangible. "Maybe!"

Ahri started talking about her job as a photo editor and art director, how her job pulled her twelve different ways at once. Fashion and beauty were her life, ephemeral and constantly changing, always challenging her, but also bringing a lot of joy.

"I'm a gremlin," Kai'sa was lamenting. "I work freelance from home. So I lock myself up in a dark cave twelve hours a day and don't have any time to make friends."

Gathering up the beer cans, Evelynn finally dared go in there to interrupt them. She needed to know where the recycling bin was, and now that the ice had melted a bit, maybe all three of them could enjoy a normal conversation. It figured Ahri just needed some time alone to be comfortable with Kai'sa. Ahri worked best when talking one-on-one with a new client. Getting to know her soul mate must have operated on basically the same level.

So Evelynn walked into the kitchen, catching another snippet of conversation—

"That doesn't have to be true anymore," Ahri said. Evelynn's eyes dropped down to see her wife taking Kai'sa's hand in both of hers. "I know this is all happening really fast, but I'm so excited to finally meet you. I can't wait to spend more time with you."

She squeezed Kai'sa's hand, her expression earnest and open.

And Kai'sa looked like the words broke her, leaving her in absolute agony.

"I can't wait anymore, either."

So Kai'sa leaned down, and kissed her so hard she nearly bent Ahri over the kitchen counter.

A shocked moan left Ahri's lips. The sound sent a frisson of electricity down the back of Evelynn's neck, and again when she saw Kai'sa's tongue work into Ahri's open mouth, flashing red and wet. They clung to each other, airtight. Ahri responded eagerly; her hands vanished underneath Kai'sa's dress to pull her onto her thigh.

Their chemistry was red-hot, undeniable even just as an observer. Evelynn could feel it like a bonfire, blazing wide enough to make her squint, the flames licking her face. They were already moving together, Kai'sa's hips rolling as she rocked onto Ahri's thigh, gasping into her mouth.

Evelynn's grip tightened, aluminium crumpling in her hands. Loud as a gunshot compared to the sounds of the two women quietly, frantically trying to fuck each other.

They both froze, heads twitching towards the intrusion. Ahri was glassy-eyed, lips wet and face flushed. But Kai'sa just studied Evelynn, unreadable and waiting.

"Don't mind me," Evelynn said. Or she tried to say it, it felt more like a hum, a purr. Right then there was nothing she wanted more than to knead her nails into something like a pleased cat.

Catching her breath, Ahri kept Kai'sa at arm's length. "Wait, wait. Maybe we should stop."

She didn't sound like she wanted to stop, or act like it. Her hands were willfully disobedient, moving up to frame Kai'sa's collarbone, to cup her face in both hands. Kai'sa flinched at the contact before melting into the touch. She squirmed, instinct driving her to arch her hips closer until she was pressed against Ahri right where she needed her.

"I don't want to rush you." Ahri was panting now, eyes blown wide with lust. "I thought— I thought maybe you might want to take it slow."

Kai'sa tangled her hands into Ahri's long hair, holding her by the scalp. Her grip slowly tightened until she had Ahri moaning and twisting for more friction, whimpering her name.

"Ahri." Kai’sa’s voice was gentle, but held a longing so deep it cut Evelynn right to the bone. "I've been waiting years for you."

Trembling, Evelynn dropped everything to move closer. She kissed the base of Kai'sa's neck, sliding down the zipper on her dress. Kai'sa stepped out of it, quickly overwhelmed by Evelynn and Ahri working her between them. Any lingering hesitation melted instantly when Ahri demanded to be taken to the bedroom, her nails digging crescent moons into Evelynn's skin.

No words then, at least none that really mattered. Not until Evelynn kissed her once more and tasted tears, hot and wet.

"Don't stop," Kai'sa begged her, breath hitching on another sob. With her head between Kai'sa's thighs, Ahri's hands caged her hips, keeping her pressed flat against the mattress. Evelynn took a softer approach, kissing her gently as Ahri vented out years of longing onto Kai'sa's skin. "Oh g- god, Evelynn, please don't stop, I was so alone—  so lonely—"

"Shh." Evelynn kissed her cheek, stretched out next to her. "It's okay."

Kai'sa just nodded, eyes screwed shut. Shuddering until it was all over, and there was nothing left but bliss. Left limp, bent, wrung out, their bodies seemed heavier, still as dense fog.

When Kai'sa spoke, the words had to carve their way into the darkness to be heard. Her voice was so deep and resonant Evelynn swore she could feel it, like fingers stroking the life lines on her palm. Exhaustion brought its own strange clarity.

"I always knew one day you'd find me."  

Evelynn kept her hand on the back of Kai'sa's head, kissed her sweaty brow before tucking it against her chest. Reaching over her, she brushed Ahri's soft shoulder to reassure herself that her wife was still there, coiled around Kai'sa like she never wanted to let go.

The next morning, Evelynn woke up with the dawn. Sensing they weren't alone, she rubbed her eyes and sat up a little, not wanting to wake her soul mates. But of course the movement stirred them. Ahri always woke up early, and it seemed Kai'sa was a light sleeper.

"We have an audience," Evelynn said quietly, huffing with amusement.

Peeking over the edge of the mattress were two foxes, two snakes, and a Chinese water deer.

"Out," Kai'sa groaned, head muffled under the pillow. "Shoo!"

They all vanished, scooting off or slipping back into wherever souls went when they were at rest.

 

---

 

Just as Evelynn was beginning to think she needed to invest in a barn house, the soul marks stopped coming back. One by one, they sunk into the energy of the world around them. One would walk through an open doorway and not emerge on the other side. The other would sink into the shadows, yellow eyes gleaming until she blinked, and there was nothing but a vague comforting presence. She felt scales slink around her wrist, but when she looked down, nothing was there.

There were days when she missed them, when she needed the reassurance of their physical presence. The proof of her soul marks in their eyes. On those days she'd awaken covered in a pile of fur and scales and Ppopgi licking her chin. She'd stare at the ceiling and try to be annoyed, even if she was inwardly delighted.

They weren't really animals, she kept reminding herself. They weren't pets. They were a part of her, so they were never really gone. Now that Kai'sa, Evelynn, and Ahri were finally together, their souls were whole.

Their job was done. If they were needed, they'd come back.

And that should have been the end of it.

 

Until one morning she walked into the kitchen and there was an African bullfrog on the kitchen table.

 

"What," Evelynn said, stopping dead in her tracks. "Is that?!"

Kai'sa blinked, pulling her breakfast away and swallowing. "An avocado smoothie?"

"Not that." She pointed at the creature lounging on top of their table. It was a frog— but maybe that word was too generous. It was a monster. It was loathsome. It was the fattest, soggiest, roundest, ugliest little gremlin she'd ever laid her eyes on. Her temperature spiked, head pounding like it might shatter like untempered glass. "That! That thing on the table where we eat!"

"Oh, that," Kai'sa said, shrugging. "Another soul marked animal. I was waiting for you two to wake up before we talked about it."

Kai'sa reached out, grinning as she poked the frog on top of his head.

In response, the frog opened his mouth, and squealed.

In that instant, Evelynn was pretty sure her sanity cracked right in half.

"Nope," she said, snatching him up.

"Eve—" Kai'sa started, but she had already left the kitchen.

"Nope," Evelynn said, opening the front door.

She heard Ahri's voice behind her. "Ew! What is that?!"

"He's a bullfrog," Kai'sa supplied, unhelpfully.

"Nope," Evelynn said, and she deposited the animal on the ground outside her apartment, and she began to scold it. "Nope. No. Nuh-uh. Not happening. You turn your ass around right the fuck now and you hop away. I'm all full up on girlfriends, I don't need any more! Go back to the celestial bureaucracy or whoever it is that makes these decisions and you tell them to shove it—"

"Eve!" Ahri gasped behind her, absolutely scandalized once she put two and two together. "You can't talk to it that way!"

"It's my soul mark," Evelynn snapped. "I can talk to it however I like."

"Actually," Kai'sa said, poking her head out the doorway. "I think it's mine."

Moving around her wife, Ahri crouched down in front of the frog. "Hey buddy," she said, carefully picking him up. He allowed it, throat bobbing rapidly. "Aw, hey, you really are my buddy. He's definitely got my soul mark on him, Kai'sa."

"That can't be true. I saw my— " Evelynn started, then stopped. She covered her mouth with one hand, like she could prevent the truth from slipping out.

There was a fourth soul mate.

 

---

 

 

Holding the frog aloft, Evelynn tried to reason with her partners. "Look at this thing. It's repulsive. Do we even want whoever this soul belongs to?!"

"What's wrong with him?" Ahri asked. "At first glance he's a little weird, but..."

Rattling off her points, Evelynn dropped the frog onto the table and counted them on her fingers. "He's slimy. He's ugly. He's got a smug little grin on his face. He's a frog!"

Primly, Ahri crossed her arms. "And yours was a snake, Evelynn. Don't be so quick to judge."

"Snakes are cute! And they're good luck!"

"I think frogs are cute." Kai'sa sounded defensive.

Ahri carefully bent down so that she could be on eye level with him. He squatted on the kitchen table, that big shit eating grin on his face, and Evelynn thought she might blow a gasket. When Ahri carefully picked him up, he looked even fatter and more bulbous, a big wet blister sack in her hands.

Evelynn shuddered. "We're not doing this. I don't need another soul mate!"

Concerned, Ahri and Kai'sa shared a glance. A flicker of communication shot across that short distance, both of them weighing what they wanted to say. A slight tilt of her head; Ahri bowed out to let Kai'sa take the lead.

"I know," Kai'sa said. "You're strong. Out of all of us, you've always been the one who had her head screwed on the tightest."

Suspicious of the praise, Evelynn eyed her warily. "I don't need another soul mate," she said again, firmer now, thinking she couldn't make this more clear.

"I know," she repeated her answer, softer. But then Kai'sa rested her fingertips on Evelynn's forearm, following it up with the clincher. "But Eve...what if she needs you?"

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Everything short-circuited in her brain, no doubt helped by the fact that Kai'sa was the one telling her this. Kai'sa, who had been so lonely and sad by herself while Ahri and Evelynn at least had each other. Now she was reminded that somewhere out there, a person was waiting for them.

"Fuck," Evelynn said, and she hated the blaze of triumph and delight in Kai'sa's eyes. "Okay. Fine. You win."

They set aside a portion of their savings to pay for a private investigator. After explaining the situation, they sat back and waited, getting to know their new partner by the animal fate had sent.

He was a chunky little guy, goofy-looking and strong and foul-tempered and always ready to fight. While he never openly sought affection, he was always patient when they decided to pick him up or stroke his head. He had an independent streak a mile wide, and when they couldn't find him in the apartment, he could often be spied swimming in the community pool. He was a nuisance, at best. There was no way they could give him a serious name. Not ever.

So they called him Burger.

"You're god's prank on me," Evelynn said, crouched down to be at eye level with him. "Yeah, you're a big sick joke of the universe."

Burger's throat filled up, wet eyes blinking a few times.

She had no idea what a fucking frog was supposed to teach her.

The investigator turned up empty-handed at first. Just when Evelynn resigned herself to the fact that she might have to wait years for this one, too, they got a call.

"Found her," Evelynn said, clenching her fist and shaking it in the air. "The mystery is solved! We're finding this little shit, here and now!"

"You don't know she's a little shit," Ahri protested.

Burger squealed, and Evelynn just gave her a look.

They set up a meeting via an internet chat, on a day when all three of them could be home.

The webcam opened up to a tiny apartment, the walls plastered with posters, pictures, albums, two guitars, and a cheesecake swimsuit calendar. A baseball cap filled most of her range of vision, and for a split second Evelynn wondered in horror if their soul mate was actually a thirteen year old boy.

Then Akali pulled back to frown into the lens of the camera, her chin jutted out like she was ready to start an argument already, and Evelynn knew. She recognized that glower.

"Hey," Akali said, and a bright red vixen hopped onto her lap. She was almost as beautiful as Ahri, a classic red fox with an ink-dipped, fluffy tail. She snuffled the camera curiously until Akali held her back, cuddled in her arms. As soon as she did that, though, a spiky, sinister-looking snake popped out of the hood on her jacket. He was striking in his own way, dangerous and sharp, then silly as he also tried to bump his nose against the camera. "Um, it's nice to meet you. Pickle, please get down, I only have so many hands."

The snake coiled up Akali's neck, his tongue flickering in her ear instead. She twitched, biting her lip. Almost a smile. She seemed to be fighting it.

"Oh no," Ahri murmured beside her. "She's cute."

It was awkward, in no small part due to how reluctant Akali was to speak. She didn't seem pleased by any of this, guarded and withdrawn in the face of her soul mates.

So much for needing me, Evelynn thought, a little bitterly.

"Do you, um, do you have a deer as well?" Kai'sa asked at one point, sounding shy.

That was the first time they saw Akali smile. "Yeah. One second, you'll love him."

Bending down, Akali emerged from under her desk with the smallest deer Evelynn had ever seen. Akali removed her keyboard to let him stand on the desk, tail fluttering as he curiously started licking the camera. He had a wriggly nose, twitching at every scent, two tiny horns, big eyes, and a little mouth that always looked like he was smiling.

"A fawn?" Evelynn asked, suddenly wondering if they had done this too fast after all. If maybe Akali needed more time to grow into this, just like she had.

But Akali shook her head. "Fully grown. He's a dik-dik antelope, this is as big as they ever get."

"That's so cute I might literally cry," Ahri said, looking ready to bite down on her own fist to keep from doing just that. "I really dig his eyeliner."

"Huh?" Akali turned the animal around to get a better look at him. "Oh! Heh, yeah, I guess he does look like he's wearing eyeliner." She stroked a finger over his face, tracing the dark marking around his eyes. "Weird question, Kai'sa, but do you like strawberries?"

Kai'sa nodded, so Akali told them to wait again and returned with a strawberry sliced up on a napkin. "He goes nuts over them," she explained, letting the dik-dik nibble on the treat. "The other two get frozen rats every now and then, when I have extra cash."

"Hold on." Evelynn leaned closer, frowning. "You feed them? You know they don't need food, right?"

That guarded expression returned, Akali's good mood hunkering down like a crouching animal. "And?"

Evelynn realized she didn't really have a point. "Nothing. Just wanted to make sure you weren't wasting any money on me."

A familiar stubborn set entered Akali's jaw. "Who gives a shit if they need it? It makes them happy, and it makes me happy to spoil them. They belong to my soul mates, and whether or not I asked for them, they came to me, so they're my responsibility. If I don't treat them right as often as I can, what does that say about me?"

Muscling past her knee-jerk assumptions, Evelynn studied Akali carefully. Slowly, it all unwound in her mind. "...It says a lot."

Piece by piece, she started to understand.

Like a flower unfurling in her, like a lock dropping to the floor, she felt the last guarded segment of her heart open up.

"Say, Akali."

Evelynn relaxed, her gentle tone making Akali lean forward to listen carefully, some of her guard dropping as well.

"...Would you like to come over for dinner next weekend?"

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Look not in my eyes, for fear 
Thy mirror true the sight I see, 
And there you find your face too clear 
And love it and be lost like me. 

—Alfred Edward Housman

Notes:

pixie frogs (african bullfrogs) are adorable and you can fight me on that

 

--

Tracklist

snow rose [full album] by city girl

Chapter 2

Summary:

mirror TWO the sight i see lol

TW: parental abuse, PTSD bullshit

It wasn't every day you bumped into your soul mate. The snake around Akali's neck tightened in anticipation, making her stop and stroke him over his emerald scales. 

"What's the matter, buddy?" she asked, kissing his wedge-shaped head when it passed within kissy distance. It was gauche— cruel, in her opinion— to have a favorite when she evidently had more than one soul mate, but it was hard not to have a soft spot for her snake. He was clingy, for lack of a better word. Everywhere Akali went, he insisted on going too. 

He pulled again, hard, and leaned all his weight to one side. It forced Akali to shift in order to keep her balance, and that's when she noticed her soulmates across the busy street, waiting to cross. The walk lights twitched on and then they were almost in front of her, and Kai'sa recognized her first.

"Akali!" She shouted in surprise and joy. Jogging the rest of the way, she stopped just short of Akali and beamed down at her. "It's—" Akali saw Kai'sa's arms move up on instinct, to embrace her, before Kai'sa quickly dropped them to her sides. She danced from foot to foot, too much energy to contain. "Wow, it's so nice to see you again."

It had only been a week since their first in-person meeting. Akali had carved time out of her busy schedule to visit their apartment for dinner. 

It had been... fine.

Meeting them again now, Kai'sa visibly wrestled against the urge to hug Akali. Probably no one else would have noticed, but Akali never missed a detail. Her therapist called it hypervigilance. Her employees called it a pain in their ass. Kai'sa settled on crossing her arms, fidgeting and shuffling when Ahri caught up to them.

"Miss Tethi," Ahri greeted her smoothly, warmth in her brown eyes like caramel and whiskey. 

"Miss Kim," she said back.

"What brings you downtown?"

Hands deep in her hoodie pocket, Akali shrugged. "Scouting a new restaurant location."

Ahri said, "Sorry, we don't mean to keep you..."

And Kai'sa said, "We were enjoying our day off, though, I mean, if you..."

Pickle, her snake, immediately stretched out as far as he could to try and reach Kai'sa. Unusual. When Akali interacted with strangers he'd often nap in her hood or curl up in her pockets. She'd rub his head, comforting him in secret as he hid away from everyone. 

Grinning, Kai'sa offered a hand and Pickle swarmed up around her wrist, clinging and climbing up her body. He wrapped around her neck and squeezed, and Akali was sure Kai'sa would freak out, but she only chuckled.

"Hey, baby," Kai'sa murmured to him, petting him as if she'd known him all her life. 

It was beyond weird. Then it hit her: Kai'sa wasn't responding to Akali's snake. She was responding to Evelynn's soul. 

Every so often Akali forgot her soulmarks weren't real animals. They behaved almost like pets, despite their odd appearances and origins. So it rocked her to have this visceral, physical reminder that her soul mates were in front of her, linked to her by a force outside her control. She couldn't understand it, but neither could she deny it.

"Looks like someone wants to hang out with you." Akali forced a smile. "I suppose I shouldn't refuse him."

As it turned out, Ahri wanted to go hunting. She had some kind of fashion-related job, as far as Akali could tell, and was eager to go out and see what people were actually buying and wearing as opposed to what the magazines were telling them to wear. That, and evidently it was near her birthday and Evelynn had promised her a limitless credit card.

The two of them walked a little bit ahead of Akali at one point. There wasn't enough room on the sidewalk for all three of them, and Akali slowed her pace to watch them. They were holding hands, comfortable and casual, and Akali didn't feel envious so much as confused and intrigued.

She'd never had a girlfriend before, by choice. It wasn't as though there was never opportunity. But her life was so busy and chaotic and for years she never knew where she'd be living next, so why put all that effort and time into something she knew wouldn't last? 

Decades of never even getting a whiff of a soulmate had been an odd relief. And there was no desire for a 'temporary' thing either. She'd seen firsthand the kind of angst those relationships brought. People got together to relieve tension or loneliness or worst of all, as practice for the 'real' thing. No thank you.

She knew she was attracted to women— she had sexual, romantic urges— she had been curious enough once or twice to try. But it never felt right. For a while she wondered if maybe she was aro. It was a label her mother scoffed at, smiling at her with soft fondness, like you would a child, and told her one day she'd see the light. Akali doubled down against any kind of romance at all.

Horrible catch-22. Hating her and rebelling against her still meant Akali was letting her mother shape her life, however twisted the result may be. 

In any case, if she was a little gun-shy around her soulmates, it wasn't only because she was a thirty-year-old virgin. 

"Is there anything you need?" Ahri asked curiously. Shrewd eyes picked her apart, evidently finding her to Ahri's approval. "You're being so patient, letting us little femmes drag you around."

Akali had tied her ponytail too tight today. Rubbing at her scalp, she tried to ease some of her tension. "I'm having a good time," she said honestly. 

Forgetting herself, Kai'sa hugged her in delight.

In her kitchen she had a uniform. With clients she owned a few very nicely fitted suits. For everyday life, she dressed cozy. Akali didn't think she needed new duds, but Ahri vehemently disagreed. 

She pulled on Akali's wrist, coaxing her over to the men's section despite her protests. "Come on, the gender police aren't gonna stop us."

"No, I know, but—"

Stopping dead in her tracks, Ahri looked her over again, eyes half-hooded, as if shielding back some of her own desire. "You're really hot, Akali. Let me dress you."

While she tried to figure out a good response to that, she felt a dark, heavy presence just behind her. Kai'sa spoke over Akali's shoulder, a warning in her voice. "Ahri."

"What?" Ahri sounded defensive. 

Cryptically, "You remember what Eve said."

"And? Am I not allowed to flirt with her?" Seeking Akali's gaze to make sure she had all of her attention, Ahri smiled thinly. "Well, Akali? Can I say you're hot? Can I call you handsome?"

With enough buffer between herself and the initial compliment, Akali found her footing quickly enough. "Anyone pretty as you are can call me whatever they like."

Triumph blazed in her eyes. Ahri made a petty, feminine, satisfied noise, and Akali thought she could get used to hearing it. With a little extra sash in her shay, Ahri kept both fists planted on her waist, strutting and preening while Kai'sa filtered between amusement and irritation. 

"Besides, I'm not the one Akali needs to worry about." Ahri pulled out a shirt and held it up against Akali. "Kai'sa was on top of me five minutes into our first date."

Kai'sa sputtered. "It was not five minutes."

"Was so."

"She was the one who said she couldn't wait a minute longer."

Ahri's spine straightened out. "That is not what I said. Maybe that’s what you heard, but I know what I said."

Based on their tone of voice, Akali got the feeling this was a well-trodden 'argument'. The two of them could barely speak through their giggles.

"Here." Ahri dumped all her pickings into Akali's arms and told her to go try it all on. She did, and was surprised to find she liked most of it despite none of it being her usual style. For one thing, the shirts were a lot tighter, and Akali warmed to think of the other two women enjoying the sight of her body. That was new, too. She'd been completely naked in front of strangers before, but hadn't ever given much thought to... enjoying it. 

"All right, you ladies are gonna blow a hole in my wallet." She walked out with her clothing folded over one arm. "I'm only taking half of this."

Ahri keened, clapping her hands together. "Oh, thank you! That's still a huge compliment."

In between them flirting and talking and having a good time, Akali forgot she was technically blowing off work to do this. When she finally couldn't stay away from it any longer, she let them know they had to part ways to a chorus of "awww nooo booo" and "okayyyy I guess". 

And she thought, maybe this won't be so bad.

Until something prickled at the back of her neck. And it wasn't her snake, but she swore scales rasped against her bare skin, audible and dry and loving and clenching tight enough to threaten airflow. She followed an inexplicable urge to turn around and look over to a corner of the store, where Evelynn was observing them all. 

It was as if she'd emerged right out of thin air, but at the same time the set of her stance made it clear she had been standing there for a while.

Akali stared, shook. Not knowing how long Evelynn had been there. Not knowing how to feel about it. If she disliked it.

If she liked it.

Kai'sa noticed her a moment later and joyously shouted "Eve!" in the same intonation she'd shouted Akali's name earlier in the day. She ran up to her and they embraced. When Evelynn grabbed her by the back of her head and pulled her down for a kiss, a bolt of electricity hit Akali right in the center of her chest. 

Do they expect me to do that? she worried. She'd never been much of a PDA person. In fact, she'd never been much of an 'affection' person at all, and hadn't expected Kai'sa to be so bold, either.

Evelynn held onto Kai'sa, one hand on the side of her neck, the other coiled into the hair at the nape of her head. Willingly entangled, Kai'sa sank deeper into the soulful kiss with both arms around Evelynn's waist.

When Evelynn opened her eyes, she didn't have to try very hard to make direct eye contact with Akali, who was still staring. 

Akali looked away. "Hi."

"It's nice to see you as well, Akali," Evelynn said, keeping her careful distance once Kai'sa released her. "If I'd known you'd be here I would have come a lot sooner."

"Yeah, I—" She wasn't running away from her. She had already said most of her goodbyes. So why did she feel so guilty? "I'm sorry, you caught me right as I have to go."

"We'll have plenty of time to get to know each other later," Evelynn reassured her. "Where are you headed, if you don't mind me asking?"

Akali explained about hunting down a new spot for her next restaurant and Evelynn's eyes lit up with pleasure. "That's right. You're a cook."

A cook? Akali knew objectively there wasn't much distinction for her profession. Most people didn't know the difference or how important it was to her. But Akali had been working in kitchens since she was fifteen. Some of her oldest and most staunch friends were from those first kitchen jobs— they'd helped her get her first (illegal) tattoo. A stick and poke on her arm that her mother immediately discovered and beat her black and blue over, yelling about how she was trash and throwing away her future and sullying herself and something about criminals and degenerates too, so Akali spent the night on someone else's couch as soon as she could slink away.

Akali wasn't afraid of hard work, far from it. She thrived in the fast-paced, demanding environment. The head chef at her first restaurant had greeted everyone on her first night with, "GET OVER HERE YOU LAZY BASTARDS." 

Akali had been rattled— being yelled at was never a precursor to good things— but no one else batted an eye or flinched. So she trailed nervously at the end of the group and saw that the cook had laid out a quick, cheap meal for them all, and that they always ate before opening for dinner. 

Oh fuck yeah, Akali thought, thrilled, That's one extra meal a day I don't have to pay for. If the chef was a blowhard who thought the height of comedy was to yell at them, she could deal. It was tough love, or something. Between work and home, she developed an immunity to getting yelled at or spoken firmly to. It slid off her back and onto the floor where she could step over it. 

From dishwasher to line cook was a natural progression, from one kitchen to another. And when she graduated high school she didn't even have any obligation to go to bed at a normal hour and the late nights drinking with her coworkers was something she genuinely looked forward to. She was the youngest nearly everywhere she went and they took care of her, in their own ways, and she was always trying to learn something from them. It became a pleasure to try and recreate dishes at home or her friend's kitchens, to make something good, fast, cheap, and tasty. Then she was taking care of other people.

After another fight at home, Akali left the house to, "Go on. Go run and tell all your friends what a bitch your mother is. Tell them you don't have a mother. Tell them she's dead."

Akali didn't really feel like doing that, but a group of her friends were organizing a trip to America. So she went with them— and didn't return. Finding another kitchen job wasn't difficult for her, and she picked up English easily enough. Like an oyster making pearls, her ambition layered over and over again to mask her dissatisfaction and frustration. She wanted prestige. She wanted to make a career out of this. She wanted security. She wanted more. Every day she woke up hungry for more.

She had an eye for detail and a sponge for a brain and never needed to sleep. Everything was cutthroat and difficult and fun and challenging and flame-soaked. At that point she knew what she wanted and how to get it. After some push from a chef who saw her potential, graduating at the Culinary Institute of America, a five-year stint in France, and a whole lot of debt, Akali finally came back home and opened her own place where she could do things her way. Then she was really taking care of other people. And she was so proud, and felt so strong, and so secure, and everything was going the way it was meant to, and she was thriving and successful and fucking happy, finally.

So it was with all that in the forefront of her mind when Akali snapped, "I'm a chef."

Evelynn's eyes widened fractionally, but she otherwise gave no emotional intonation when she demurred, "My mistake."

She really hadn't meant to take all that out on Evelynn. It wasn't her fault she stepped on a landmine. "Common mistake."

Stepping closer, Evelynn surprised and embarrassed her further by taking all the clothes out of her arms. She walked them to the cash register and she paid for it all, including everything Kai'sa and Ahri picked out for themselves. Was that meant to be an insult? A subtle power play? Was Evelynn putting her in her place? Or was it an apology? Did Evelynn think she was poor or something? Too busy doing war strategy in her head, Akali couldn't muster up a proper refusal and that's how she found herself with a new wardrobe in her hands.

"You really didn't have to do that," Akali said.

"It's my pleasure to treat you. You can thank me with a drink the next time you're free."

Free? Akali was never free. Her whole life was consumed by the business. 

Patting her pockets for Pickle, Akali finally gave up and realized if he wanted to show up, he'd show up. She said her goodbyes— again— and turned on her heel and tried to feel like it wasn't a retreat. 

As she did, she spotted him. Spike-studded and intimidating and brilliant, the snake wove up around Evelynn's neck, tasted her cheek with a flick of his tongue, and then vanished.

 

When she finally arrived home later that night and flopped onto her bed, she had a lot of soul-searching to do. About her restaurant, about her future, about the women who had dropped onto her lap. Whether or not she could let go of control enough to trust someone else with her first restaurant while she helped the second one find its feet. Whether or not she could trust strangers with her body and her heart.

For years she obsessed over the last thing her mother said. Akali wished fervently that she really had died and left her orphaned. Then she could have just been bereft of love, instead of intentionally denied.

She thought about how effortlessly Evelynn demanded and received affection. Like it was owed to her. Without question or restraint.

Staring up at her plain white ceiling, Akali felt unusually restless. There wasn't much in the way of distractions here— she didn't live in her apartment, she slept there. She lived in the gym. She thrived in her restaurant.

"This place is so damn sad." The decorations on the wall— other than that silly titty calendar Sivir gifted her— were reminders of other hobbies and interests that she attempted and stopped, since she never found the time to pursue them. The fumbling, vulnerable first steps of any new instrument were often too overwhelming. She wondered what her soul mates did in their spare time. She remembered Kai'sa kept paintings on the wall. Kai'sa could also play several instruments. Maybe she could give her the amp and guitar collecting dust in her apartment.

None of her soulmarks had come to cuddle yet. That was odd. When she looked to the side she spotted Kimchi and Quignon roughhousing. The fox pounced on the little antelope, putting most of him in her mouth. He squealed and wiggled, and Akali swore she saw Kimchi grin. Then she pushed him down and started washing him with tons of affectionate vixen kisses.

"Did you have a good day?" she asked them. In response, Kimchi waved her big fluffy tail, mischievous and playful, and the two of them vanished. Then Akali was alone again, her small bedroom cavernous and stifling at the same time. 

Outside it was late March. Spring. Cold and dry. 

So why was she so hot?

Her ponytail was too tight. Loosening it, Akali rubbed at her scalp until it hurt less. If only she could reach every inch of her body and let it be touched and loved and rubbed like that until this pain went away.

Throwing one arm over her eyes, Akali tried hard to ignore the way her heart was still pounding. She could feel it thumping through her whole body, harder and harder, until it was a pulsing beat she couldn't ignore. There was a great yawning emptiness in her that had never been quite so loud before. Her mouth ached too, hungry like a sweet tooth. Akali never cared much for sweets, but she found herself stalking over to the fridge anyway.

She grabbed a spoon and ate directly from the tub of small-batch vegan caramel sea-salt ice cream in her freezer. Yes it was a mouthful. It was also fucking delicious. She'd been playing around with new desserts lately for the restaurant, but her mind wasn't on the restaurant as she scooped and scooped, tasting none of it but nearly frantic with— not— not hunger— not a craving even, but a need.

It wasn't helping much but it did cool her down a little. Akali forced herself to put the pint away before she ate the whole thing. God, but her heart was still pounding so hard. Her breath was coming out in sharp little pants, like she'd run up a flight of stairs. Every inch of her skin was too tight. The air was muggy.

She slid a palm down her stomach, the touch exhilarating and electric. 

Akali closed her eyes. "Oh, what the fuck?"

It couldn't be. 

As if in answer, behind her eyes she could see it replaying over and over again. The way Evelynn pulled Kai'sa into her mouth like she belonged there. Akali had obviously seen beautiful women kiss before but this was different. She'd never cared or paid attention to how hungry a kiss could be. It was fake in the movies and boring in porn and off-putting in real life. 

She stood there, leaning back against the kitchen counter with one palm on the cool surface behind her. She stood there fighting this because if she gave in then there would be no denying it. Testing herself, she stroked her stomach again and nearly reeled with desire.

"Oh, fuck." She gave up. Wobbling to her bed, she planted herself face down on the mattress and ground down on her own hand. Stunned by how wet she already was, Akali surrendered entirely and stopped worrying about anything except the way Kai'sa smelled when she hugged her. She could still smell her and feel Ahri's hands on her, measuring her for clothes, and Evelynn's eyes looking at her, right through her, even while kissing someone else. She came harder than she'd ever come in her life. 

Left thunderstruck in the aftermath of her release, Akali laid there with her face in the pillows, trying to catch her breath. She wasn't ashamed, but she was alarmed. Her heart slowly returned to normal.

Warm and happy and drowsy, she passed out until the morning.

 

 

For the next week Akali dove headfirst into her job. If she didn't give herself room to think, she couldn't think about the things bothering her. Even at work she wasn't safe, though. Akali spent most of her time in the kitchen for obvious reasons, but eventually she heard enough mumbling about the leggy brunette at the bar to go and see for herself, and... sure enough.

"Hi." Evelynn said, smokey-voiced and lowly interested. "You owe me a drink... or three."

Akali took over her part of the bar.

"Drinks aren't free," Akali said, "Not even for soul mates."

"Skinflint." The way Evelynn said it wasn't accusatory, but bright and amused. She smiled, amber-brown eyes glinting. "Turn the TV on and open up my tab, then." 

She gave Akali a matte-black card and privately Akali wanted to grouse that they were not that kind of bar, but Evelynn didn't seem intimidated by the prices, so... she opened up a tab.

"You rich or something?" Akali asked. "What do you do, anyway? I know Kai'sa is a programmer and Ahri works at some magazine..."

Evelynn took her time responding. "I work in shipping."

"Shipping?" Akali had to wait a long time for a subpar answer. She prompted, "Shipping what?"

"Whatever needs to be shipped."

She made an unimpressed noise and in response Evelynn just shrugged. So she started making her a drink. Her bartender made the drink menu but Akali worked at enough boozey joints to know her way around her own bar. 

Evelynn eyed her as she took out a knife and peeled a lemon into a spiral for her garnish. "I haven't ordered anything yet."

"Any allergies?"

"No."

"Then you'll drink what I give you."

Another spark of something knife-sharp in her golden eyes. "Do all chefs have big egos like you, or are you compensating for something?"

"It's all chefs." Akali gave her the drink. It was the house special. Lavender lemonade, Cognac, and white wine. Lemon peel and a sprig of lavender as garnish. She wanted Evelynn to like it. But Evelynn nursed her drink, seeming distracted and maybe a little sad as she watched the TV. "If you don't like it I can make you another one, of course."

"Of course." Evelynn smirked. "You're staring at me so intently. Thirsty for feedback?"

Akali lost control of her mouth. "I can't just like looking at you?"

Evelynn's dark red lips parted slightly. And for a moment, just a moment, Akali finally felt like the other woman was as taken aback by this as Akali had been from day one. 

The personal victory was cemented when those red lips caressed the rim of her glass and Evelynn took a few long, delicate pulls. Akali's knees nearly buckled at the sight of her throat clenching and shifting with every swallow.

Hands balling into tight fists, she rested both knuckles on the countertop and leaned forward. Doing her best to appear chill, Akali was internally screaming until Evelynn smiled, full and artless. "It's good."

"Of course it's good. I made it." Focused on her as she was, Akali noticed it the moment her smile slipped. Evelynn didn't seem like the kind of woman to sulk or express discomfort, but again, Akali noticed everything. The little details. "Hey. Are you okay?"

A surprised exhale, too ladylike to be called a snort. Evelynn's eyes darted up to the TV again. On the news, they were still covering the kerfuffle in the Suez. "I work in international shipping and ninety percent of my cargo is stuck behind that bigass boat. So."

Akali's eyebrows rose way up. "You're shitting me."

"Why do you think I needed that drink so bad?"

"No, yeah. No kidding." Akali shook her head. "I think you need something stronger than Cognac, actually."

The ice in her glass clinked as Evelynn examined it. "Oh, is that what I'm drinking?"

"What you're drinking is mostly lemonade, but yes." Akali indulged in the warm glow of pride as Evelynn slowly worked her way through more of the drink. "It's also technically not Cognac because it wasn't made in the Cognac region of France, but we don't respect the French in this house."

Evelynn set her chin in both palms. "Tell me more."

"About France?"

"About anything." 

She found herself cleaning a glass just for something to do. Truthfully she preferred it when Evelynn was being cagey and acerbic. This unadulterated attention wrapped like wire around her throat— until she realized it wasn't just her imagination. Pickle had made an appearance, embracing her tight enough to threaten her circulation.

"Hmm." Akali cleared her throat. Her ponytail was too tight again today, threatening to give her a headache. "Hmmm-hmm. Well, when you're done with that, I think we'll move on to straight whiskey."

"Eww," Evelynn said with a smile. "I don't like anything about that description."

When Evelynn leaned in closer, Akali found herself mirroring her. "Look, I'm not sure how I can make this clearer. This isn't the kind of place where the customer gets much say. I'm the king here. If you don't like it you can leave."

"This must be why all the reviews call you mysterious," Evelynn said, and Akali felt another jolt through her system, knowing Evelynn had been researching her. "They hide your rude ass in the kitchen so you don't scare the money away."

"I am not scary," Akali said, insulted. Even if she was a woman who walked into a room and expected her orders to be met with nothing except a chorus of YES CHEF (or oui chef, during her stint in France), that didn't mean she was scary or militant. Did it? 

"Well of course you don't scare me," Evelynn said, as if that were the real concern here. "I know you, Kali. All I can see is you puffing up and squealing on my kitchen counter."

Oh, that was unfair, bringing the soulmarks into this. "Oh yeah? Well all I see is you clinging to me 24/7." She pointed at Evelynn, and the green serpent slid out of her sleeves and onto her palm. Evelynn extended a hand, welcoming him onto her, where he wound his way up her torso. "You don't even let me shower alone. Act cool as you like— you're an exceptionally needy girl. Why else are you here?"

The words out of her own mouth made her body throb, but that hadn't been on purpose. It was meant to be an insult but instead it came out as a warm, erotic threat. 

Black-tipped, perfect nails stroked through long, silky brown hair. 

"I hold onto what's mine," Evelynn said.

Enveloping her neck, Pickle turned around to mimic Evelynn. Both the snake and the woman stared at her with perfectly matching eyes, unblinking and singularly focused. 

Akali broke into a cold sweat.

"On top of that, I'm on day three of a several million dollar loss." Evelynn lazily broke the link between them, her casual and uncaring attention drawing elsewhere so she could give Akali a chance to escape. "Please forgive me if I need a distraction."

Akali found the whiskey with shaking hands.

"One more drink," she said in a warning tone. "I really have to get back to work soon."

"Ohhh noo." Evelynn whined in exaggerated disappointment. "Whiskey after all? I don't like whiskey."

Rather than again reminding her that she didn't have a choice— Evelynn clearly enjoyed pushing her buttons— Akali poured out a shot and explained. "We infuse it with vanilla beans. It's very smooth, but not too sweet."

Evelynn didn't even reach for her glass, instead grimacing at it dubiously.

"Drink it slow," Akali instructed her, washing her hands and heading out. "I'll see you later."

"Okay." Evelynn raised her voice to make sure Akali heard her as she walked out of earshot. "Have a good day at work, baby!"

Akali nearly tripped back into the kitchen.

 

 

 

Since Evelynn couldn't work until the damn boat unstuck itself, she made a habit of visiting Akali at her job. Akali started experimenting with new dishes for her and Kai'sa, who also started popping up in the middle of the day. She sometimes brought her laptop and sat at the bar, quietly working, and generally much less of a distraction. Unless Ahri was with her. Then Akali suddenly found herself very distracted by the both of them.

Days passed; the big damn boat unstuck so Evelynn didn't have an excuse to duck out of work as often. Months passed. March turned into June. Akali let the fire inside her simmer, afraid of what might happen if she ever let the flames go unchecked.

"Thank god none of you expect a free meal," Akali said, leaning with her forearms on the bar. Ahri rested her head on Kai'sa's shoulder, drawing circles on her knee with one manicured nail. "I'd be out of business in a month."

"One good thing about living with two other adults is the extra income." Kai'sa spoke so warmly that Akali wasn't sure if she was joking or not, at first. "Evelynn keeps saying I could quit whenever I want, but I like staying busy."

"Evelynn just likes having excuses to spoil you." Ahri leaned in closer and kissed her cheek. After a short, deliberate pause, she kissed her again, this time nipping her earlobe.

She slapped a wet towel down on the bar. "Psst. You two are not subtle. Please stop scaring away my customers."

"Oh yes," Ahri said airily. "It's obviously the lunch rush right now."

She paused for effect in the empty room— empty except for the three of them, since Akali gave her bartender a break so she could be with her soulmates uninterrupted for a bit.

"You're a brat," Akali said.

"You haven't even seen me at my worst." 

As if in answer, Kimchi appeared out of thin air and launched herself onto Ahri's lap, demanding attention. 

"Oh!" Ahri hugged her, delighted. "Hello beautiful! Wait, is that vain to say? She's really the prettiest of all the foxes we got, so she's my favorite." Her voice turned dry. "It was also bad gender-feels to see male foxes represent me."

"I'm sorry," Kai'sa said, flushing a little like she had any choice in the matter. 

"Yeah, I—" Akali eyed the frog currently squatting on her bar top. He croaked. "I was not thrilled with what fate gave me either."

"Do you think it's totally random?" Kai'sa wondered. "The other deer was a girl deer. But your deer is a boy deer. And I'm cis, so..."

They started throwing around theories about the meaning of the animals only to come to the conclusion that fate was a weird mystery.  

After washing Ahri's neck with more foxy kisses, Kimchi struggled and squirmed until she got comfortable on her human's lap. Her tail thumped out in a steady rhythm and her whole body lifted with a contented sigh. 

"You're soooo cute," Ahri murmured, kissing her back and leaving pink lipstick marks on top of her head. "You're soooooo cute, pretty pretty baby."

Kimchi squinted happily.

"I still can't believe you named me bread-butt," Kai'sa said.

"Bread heel," Akali corrected her. "Quignon is a perfectly serviceable animal name. And do I need to remind you what you named my frog?"

"That was Evelynn's idea."

"Good, now I know who to punch." No booze today. Akali only served them the lavender lemonade on request. "So I gotta ask. Who sleeps where? You two seem like you take up the whole bed."

Ahri giggled while Kai'sa turned bright pink.

Leaning closer, Akali smirked. "On account of you being so tall."

"Oh," Kai'sa said, "Right. Yes."

"We got a bigger apartment with three rooms," Ahri said. She had already explained the whole story of how they met. "Plus, the couch is a fold out. There's plenty of bed space for everyone... trust me."

"Especially on account of you being so small," Kai'sa murmured, and then quickly ducked as Akali mocked throwing a punch.

"I dunno." This might be unromantic, but it was really something Akali had devoted a significant amount of brainspace towards. "I like my privacy. Y'all don't expect me to move in too, do you? Cause I'm not sure that's gonna happen."

Ahri hummed, petting Kimchi more. "There isn't a ton of precedent for relationships like ours," she admitted. "So honestly, we only want whatever makes you happy. Though I won't lie, I like the idea of having more of you."

Her heart sank a little. "It probably wouldn't be like that even if I moved in. I work crazy hours, Ahri. I don't intend to retire soon, either. And—"

"I know, I know. The second relationship is gonna eat up all your time."

"You mean restaurant?" Kai'sa said.

This time Ahri flushed. "Is that not what I said? Oh my god, what did I say?"

While the two of them teased her for her Freudian slip, Akali reckoned with the truth of what Ahri said. She was training her replacement for this restaurant to run on its own while she spearheaded the next attempt— part of taking care of her people meant knowing when to give them room to stretch their wings. As much as she claimed to be king of her kitchen, she didn't want anyone to be stuck in a position where nothing got done because she was sick, injured, or unavailable. 

"So when are you gonna have a sleepover with us?" Ahri said, and when Kai'sa looked at her she made a stank face. "I mean literally sleep, Kai, oh my god. I just wanna make coffee and breakfast for our little chef at least once, don't you?"

"Evelynn warned us about taking it slow," Kai'sa said.

"I am taking it slow!" Ahri scoffed. "And I don't wanna hear it from you, miss, you begged Eve to put a baby in you the second you got us in your bed."

This time Kai'sa's face turned so red it must have hurt. "I did not."

Akali was too flustered to interrupt, too, and just let them do their usual back-and-forth.

"That is what you said..." Ahri smirked.

"That is not what I said. Maybe that's what you heard— "

So yeah, it was hard to focus with Ahri and Kai'sa around. On top of being loud and always trying to one-up each other, those two couldn't keep their hands off each other. Every so often Akali felt a pang of jealousy. Was Evelynn like that too, in private? 

Lost in thought, Akali went through the motions for the rest of the day. They'd only been messing around, but the idea of children hadn't even occurred to her until that moment. It was like she had to suddenly form an opinion on all these important things— or did she? Did it even matter what she thought, since fate obviously had its own plans for her?

The rainy season was starting soon. It was getting hotter and wetter every day, and she wondered if it wasn't time to change the menu. Her conversation with her soulmates and the rain made her oddly nostalgic for when she was a kid. There were good times too, along with the bad memories. She was craving pajeon like crazy— was craving a lot of food that she hadn't eaten in a while, though she never felt satisfied.

Ruefully, she wondered if her unresolved sexual frustration was forcing her other appetites to develop in order to compensate for it. This burgeoning sexual interest made her feel young again too, like a stupid teenager going through puberty.

Her phone buzzed. A message from Evelynn. Late night. Hope you're home safe.

Just got out of work. Akali mustered up all her courage and sent, Can I ask you a stupid, weird question?

It's not stupid if it's from you.

Her heart pounded again, fierce this time, emotional and affectionate. Why do you keep reminding Ahri to take it slow?

Three dots indicated Evelynn was typing. Then they stopped. They started again.

You remind me a lot of me, Evelynn said over several text messages. I was overwhelmed when I met Ahri. And there's three of us. So. We are wooing you. Slowly. 

Probably the right call, Akali said, not sure what else to say to that. 

Good to know. Then, Evelynn texted, When you fall desperately in love with me I want it to be with no regrets.

Cocky. 

Just honest... Akali could have sworn she felt Evelynn smiling through the text. Because I'm already in love with you, Akali. Just in case that wasn't clear.

Akali stopped walking, staring down at her phone with the June rain pattering on her umbrella. 

You don't even know anything about me, Akali furiously texted back.

I know you.

No, you really don't.

Evelynn was a quick typist. Not for lack of trying. 

She wasn't sure if she was angry or not. She wasn't sure she had any reason to be angry. Akali rubbed at her tender scalp, frowning hard.

Tell me something you love about me, then.

A very long time for another response. It's hard to do that while taking it slow.

In Akali's opinion, saying she loved her had already blown slow out the window. So?

I love...

Akali waited, breathless.

Your charming, cheerful disposition. :)

Right, as I said, you don't know me.

Yeah, just like that <3 so sweet and cute.

Akali huffed a laugh despite herself. When she got home she felt a few more pings from incoming text messages, and she smiled, wondering what else Evelynn had to say. She opened her phone, expecting more texts from her soulmate, but they weren't from her.

They were from her mom.

 

 

 

At work the next day she cut herself on her favorite knife. It was an accident, and she wrapped it up and put a glove on and got back into it without even a whimper. Sivir kept looking at her all day, though, like she might crumble into dust. 

At around three, as promised in the text, her mother came by for a late lunch.

"I'll take it out to her," Akali said brusquely, not letting her server get a word in edgewise. 

Walking out to her table, she spotted her at once. Akali didn't need a lot of time to take in all the details; she never missed a detail. Streaks of gray in her raven-black hair, and deep laugh-lines around her eyes. Her mother looked very old, which was a shock. She'd had Akali young. Akali always thought of her as young. At thirty years old, if she'd had a child at the same time her mother did, that child would be ten by now. Akali stopped doing math and brought out the main course.

"Hi," she said.

Her mother twitched a little to hear her voice before she smirked.

"Do you know how embarrassing it is," her mother said,  "To have to be told my daughter opened up a restaurant in Seoul? By someone not my daughter?"

Akali shrugged. "Didn't think you had the same number."

"Didn't think to come visit, either?"

Her pulse started pounding.

Moving a little closer, Akali rested a palm on the back of her chair. "You get to decide how hard or how easy today goes."

It was infuriating that she looked so wounded by the bite in her voice. Clearly her mother hadn't expected any kind of blowback. Akali was surprised that she simply accepted it. In the past she would have ground that spark of rebellion into the dirt. 

"It's beautiful here. You designed it all?"

"Yeah," Akali said.

"It's beautiful," her mother said again. 

"Thanks."

"I'm really proud of you."

Akali went, "Mhm."

"I should probably eat this before it gets cold."

"I'll leave you to it. Enjoy." She gave her a slight bow and then walked back on trembling feet to the kitchen. Sivir was waiting for her. Though she'd never ask how she was, she took one look at her and asked if she didn't have business elsewhere today. The new restaurant, perhaps. Akali told her not to be stupid and she was fine.

Akali wondered if she should run into the walk-in fridge and scream her lungs out like she was sixteen again.

Someone else should have waited on her. Akali knew that. There was no reason she had to play waiter today. She liked to do that for special guests (after Sivir drilled it into her head to be polite) but she wanted to see her mom. She missed her. She wanted to drive the biggest kitchen knife she had into her back and get dragged to the station in handcuffs.

"Room for dessert?" Akali asked her, this time settling a hand on her mother's shoulder, hungry for her affection. 

It wasn't acknowledged— ignored? Denied?

"I'll just pay the bill and let you get back to work," her mother said. "I'm sure you have more important things to do than hover around me. I wanted to come see what you'd worked so hard on."

"You're my mom," Akali said, a little distraught. "You don't have to pay."

"Now you listen here."

Even though it was said with a clearly playful smile, and a joking tone of voice, Akali was instantly rocketed into the kind of obedience reserved for dogs and soldiers. She was shaking, only half-listening as her mother went on, "That's sweet, but I'm a customer like any other. I'll go up front and pay myself so you don't pull any shenanigans."

"Okay," Akali said, small, smaller than a sixteen year old, smaller than a ten year old, because she'd done something bad but she didn't know what it was, just that she was getting yelled at for it. Except her mother hadn't raised her voice at all— had actually lowered it, almost like a threat. 

For a split second Akali couldn't register her words at all, only that voice. And then came the howling, overwhelming anger.

This woman thought she could be playfully mean to her?

Akali let her pay and said "goodbye" and "I love you. I'll try to call more often." 

Then she went back to her kitchen and for the rest of the day she was fine.

She had expected a scene. She expected her mom to slur and flail wildly with rage like she would right before she'd beat Akali bloody. Akali wanted everyone to see her toss her mom out of her restaurant, her castle, and out onto the street. She didn't get any of that. She was just in agony.

All day she kept patting her pockets and touching her neck and rubbing her scalp. It wasn't until closing time and she couldn't find her umbrella that she realized she also couldn't find her snake. Pickle was always with her. And if he wasn't, then one of the other two were never far away. 

Suddenly terrified, Akali texted her soulmates. Are you all okay?

Yup! Ahri pinged back at once. Something wrong?

None of the soulmarks showed up today. Got worried.

Aw, big sweetie. We're fine! Kai'sa is driving.

While Akali tried to puzzle out what Ahri meant by that, she found her umbrella. It was pouring outside and steaming hot. She didn't make it ten feet before the spines broke and her umbrella collapsed in a cascade of rainwater, right over her head.

As she kept walking, Akali dumped it into the first trash can she passed.

That's when she started crying, wet and lonely and furious with herself. The rain wasn't really strong enough to wash her eyes clean so she kept rubbing at them until they were red and sore.

So she almost missed it, the moment she realized she wasn't alone anymore.

This late at night, there was hardly anyone else out on the streets. The lone figure ahead of her, hazy in the mist rising off the sidewalk, was easily distinguishable. A woman in a tight black skirt and a matching blouse. Still, Akali didn't realize what she was looking at until she was within touching distance.

Evelynn stood in front of her. One hand held the umbrella above her head, and she moved as close as she could to cover Akali as well.

The other cradled Burger, close to her chest. A single beady eye focused on her.

"Late night?" Evelynn guessed.

Akali said, "Why are you here?"

"Little bastard wouldn't let me sleep." When Burger started wiggling, Evelynn extended her hand. He leapt right into Akali's arms, and she held him. "You don't look okay."

"My—" Akali's throat clenched. "M-my umbrella broke on me."

Evelynn's hard, gold eyes softened immeasurably. "Poor baby. I'll walk you home."

"Won't do much good at this point." Fuck, she hoped it wasn't obvious she'd been crying. She felt like a wet rat next to effortlessly chic, svelte Evelynn. "The damage is already done."

"I'll still walk with you." 

The umbrella tilted a little to make room for her. She felt shielded, not just by the umbrella, but by Evelynn's arm lifted just above her. They walked for a while until Evelynn said, "If it keeps raining like this you won't even need the gym pool to swim in."

Shook again by this woman who knew more about her than Akali was comfortable with, Akali said, "I never told you I swim."

"Didn't need to. He," she nodded to the frog in Akali's arms, "Is always swimming. And you always smell like chlorine."

Evelynn's brisk pace slowed down until she stopped. Leaning over, she pressed her face to the top of Akali's head and inhaled deep. Then her warm mouth kissed Akali's temple. Both arms holding onto Burger, Akali stood there, unsure how to respond. She didn't dislike it, but that might have been because she could scarcely believe it was happening. She turned into Evelynn's lifted arm, and when Evelynn bent down again, slowly, she knew what she wanted. She kissed her on the lips.  

Akali broke away at once, and immediately started sobbing into her chest.

"Oh, shit." Evelynn flailed. She tried to step away, only to glance up at the umbrella keeping them both dry and deciding to stay put. "Oh, fuck— I'm sorry? I'm sorry. Hey, it's okay." She wrapped an arm around her shoulders when Akali didn't immediately flinch away from her touch. "It's okay. You want me to leave you alone? I'm sorry."

Immediately a wave of irritation sandblasted away any more tears. How fragile could she be before it was too much to bear? After taking a steadying breath, Akali tried again. "No, no, it's not you. I had a really rough day."

"I see." Evelynn sounded like she didn't see at all. "Well, Kai'sa says it's Cancer season, so... that's a thing, I suppose."

"What the hell is Cancer season?"

"You know, I honestly don't know? But she's been emotional too and keeps blaming it on that."

Akali said, "Well, if I have to blame it on something."

She cupped a hand on the back of Akali's head, gripping her and rubbing at the spot where her ponytail always left a knot of tension. 

How did she know Akali needed to be touched there?

The frog pinned between them started shuffling uncomfortably, so Evelynn finally let her go. Akali led her to her apartment, and on the walk, slowly told her everything. Or almost everything. Enough to let her know why today had been tumultuous. Evelynn listened, patient and silent, even as they walked up to Akali's small apartment. They took off their shoes and Akali let Burger hop off to wherever he wanted to go, then she went straight to her liquor collection.

"Whoa." Evelynn tried to stop her until Akali leveled her with a poisonous glare. "Perhaps that isn't the best idea."

"I drink maybe once a month," Akali said. "I think I'm allowed on a day like this, don't you?"

"Don't overdo it," she murmured as Akali got out two tumblers for them. "The whiskey you gave me at the bar was good, by the way. I never told you."

"I didn't need to be told." Her hand hovered over her collection before Akali decided on the whiskey again. It was topical, so why not? "I already knew it was good."

"Don't thrive much on compliments, do you."

"I'd be dead if I did." She popped open the bottle. "Cheers."

Akali downed her glass while Evelynn hesitated once again. Her pretty lips pursed, staring down at the drink doubtfully. 

"It's Japanese whiskey," Akali coaxed her. "It's expensive."

Evelynn's mouth stretched out into something too firm and tense to be called a smile.

"You are such a baby," Akali said. 

"Okay asshole." Eve set her drink down, untouched. "Let's go find something you don't like so I can force it down your throat."

"Even if I don't like things, I try them at least once. That's how you develop a proper palate."

Evelynn opened her mouth to say something else, probably sharp, but Burger hopped up onto her foot and squealed. Looking down at him, she frowned before picking him up and holding him in one hand, rubbing her thumb over his head, in between his little eyes.

That whiskey was too good to go to waste, so Akali finished it for her. "Water, then? Juice?"

"...Just tea, please, if you have any."

"If I have any!" Akali turned around and opened up her cupboard. She set her electric kettle to the right temperature as she grumbled. "Do I have any. I have a Michelin star, of course I have tea in my apartment."

"So what you're telling me is you earned that big ego."

Akali couldn't properly brag because at that moment, she burned herself on her electric kettle. Whimpering once, she stuck her injured fingers in her mouth, head throbbing. Right on the same finger she cut, too.

Evelynn's dry, throaty voice still managed to sound a little alarmed. "You're a mess today."

"I just can't stop hurting myself," Akali murmured in agreement. Then she let the tea steep while Evelynn fussed over her. "I'm sorry, I'm keeping you here just to bicker with you. Ahri and Kai'sa are probably missing you."

Evelynn shook her head. "They went on a short vacation together. I opted to stay home. Lots of work to catch up on." Then Evelynn turned that small, tired smile on. "Besides, someone had to stay and keep an eye on you."

"You don't ha—"

Firm, strong, without argument. "Yes. I have to."

Akali started sweating again, wet and hot like the rain outside.

"I think you're very good at taking care of other people," Evelynn said. She let the frog hop out of her hands and he vanished into thin air. "I don't think you're very good at taking care of yourself."

Akali said, "...Honey?"

Evelynn's voice lowered even more, eyes hooded. "Yeah, baby?"

"I mean honey. In your tea. Or sugar?"

Evelynn gazed with those liquid golden eyes a moment longer, her stare hot, then she laughed. "Oh, I get a choice? I thought you'd serve it however you wanted because you always know best."

Akali shrugged. She thought about pouring herself another drink. She reached for the bottle for a third drink. And then a fourth. And then Evelynn's strong hand wrapped around her wrist to stop her for the fifth.

"Don't treat me like a fucking kid," she warned her. Akali knew she had a youthful face but honestly, this was just insulting.

"I'm—" Frustration made her stammer a little. "Now you listen here, I'm only trying to take care of you. I'm worried—"

Rattled, Akali didn't hear much after that, even knowing there was no way Evelynn could have known what those words did to her, even as Evelynn kept talking. Turning away so she didn't have to look at her anymore, she nodded along to whatever she said. Numb, putting the tea together, and it was only when Evelynn wouldn't shut up that she snapped, "Okay. I get it. I won't drink anymore. I'll put this tea in something you can take home and you can stop worrying about me."

"Akali—"

"What?" she snarled, whirling on her finally, and then stopped.

Evelynn had Burger in both her hands again, and right there with her were all the other animals, too. All of them. The deer hid behind her, and the foxes curled around Evelynn's legs and stared up at Akali with pleading eyes. Snakes dripped from her elbows and hung around her neck, encircling Evelynn's head like a crown, mussing up her long brown ponytail.

Naturally it did not escape Evelynn's notice either. She glanced around her then back at Akali with a sort of weary resignation, like, see what I have to deal with?

"...What?" Akali asked again, softer this time.

Burger went squeeeeeee until Evelynn rubbed her thumb between his eyes.

When Evelynn spoke, her voice was audibly strained. "I'm trying my best here."

Sullen and bitter, Akali couldn't bear to look her in the eye. "Yeah, well, nobody asked you to."

Pure and tender wrath pulsed between them, and Akali knew she was fucking this up again, but couldn't seem to control anything happening in her body. It was like a thousand combustion reactions, constant explosions right under her skin, and she was so fucking angry. 

"Do you," Akali said, "Actually like anything about me, or are you just doing this cause you think you have to?"

Again that tension in her throat, though this time Evelynn managed some bitter amusement. "I sometimes think you're very charming. Usually right before I step all over your invisible bear traps and you clamp shut again."

When Akali dared to peek up at her again they were both alone in the kitchen. Casually, Evelynn washed her hands and got her tea. Wandering off, she explored the rest of Akali's small apartment, making herself at home. She plucked a book off the scant offerings on her shelf, sat down on Akali's couch, and began to read.

Confused, Akali hovered nearby, studying her. Evelynn seemed content to let the argument lie, not seeking any form of retaliation. 

"Go take a shower," she said, her warm voice full of command. She did not tear her eyes from the book. "You're still wet. That can't be helping your mood."

Nobody told her what to do, especially in her own home, and Akali felt her pulse twitching and jumping. But she was still cold and wet, too. Irrationally she wanted to stay that way. She thought if Evelynn told her to keep her feet on the ground, she'd walk on her hands to the nearest cliff and launch herself off it out of pure spite. "You take a shower."

Evelynn's brows quirked up. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You obviously aren't going to leave, that makes you the guest, so you take a shower first. I have spare clothes." She crossed her arms, looking away. "I won't make you walk home in this weather."

Evelynn's mouth parted a certain way when she was thrown for a loop, like she wanted to talk even when she had nothing to say. After a moment, Evelynn rolled her eyes. "Okay."

While Evelynn used up all her hot water, Akali angrily gathered up spare bedding and pillows and clothing and a towel. She fumed and spit fire in a thousand new arguments in her head. Evelynn's damn tea would have gotten cold too if Akali didn't invest in those nice fancy mugs that held the temperature a long time. 

The shower cut off, and then a soft voice from behind the closed door. "Akali?"

"Yeah?"

"A towel, please?"

"Oh. Right."

She cracked the door open just wide enough to pass the clothing and towel to her, dutifully keeping her eyes elsewhere. It'd be remiss not to admit part of her irritation with Evelynn was also a deep insecurity about her sexual vulnerability. If Evelynn knew exactly how hard she'd been burning for her, would she be amused, as everything seemed to amuse her? Or worse, would she not respond at all. She had two soul mates already; this was probably old news to her.

When Evelynn emerged, Akali was waiting for her with a stern, straight spine. Watching her attentively, with more than a little bit of trepidation. 

"Drink your tea," Akali told her as she went to go shower herself. Briefly she wondered if she could quickly get off in the bathroom and take the edge off. Maybe then she'd stop being such a whirlwind of every possible human emotion.

It was late, after a long day, but Akali was too wired to want sleep. 

On the couch again, Evelynn resumed reading her book, an old paperback Akali had given up on halfway through. Mainly she kept it as a conversation piece. She sipped the tea, thoughtful and looking cozy and cultured. Even with wet hair and no makeup on. 

Akali wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

She couldn't bear the tense atmosphere that she created, but there was nothing to do now to fix it. 

Sitting on the other end of the couch from Evelynn, she rubbed the heel of her palms into her eyes.

"I'm trying my best too."

Evelynn took a sip of her tea, and turned the page of her book.

"I'm not like this all the time. I promise I'm not. I promise I'll do better."

Evelynn's eyes flickered over to her. "You think I'm like this all the time?"

Akali didn't have an answer. 

So Evelynn hummed, "You'll see my worst sooner or later. I can only hope you'll extend the same patience to me."

Oh no, don't cry again. Don't cry again. Don't cry over this shit.

"I can only assume fate put us together at this time because you need me. I could fight it if I wanted, but what kind of person would that make me? Remember what you told me about your soulmarks?" Evelynn asked. 

She did.  Evelynn didn't need to spell the rest out for her.

"Also," Evelynn said, and this time Akali noticed despite her calm tone and her careless body language, Evelynn's grip on the book was white-knuckled. "Every time I look at you I wanna touch you so bad I think I might die."

"Why... why don't you?"

She tilted her head to the side, eyes closed in thought. She was silent so long Akali wondered if she had dozed off. "You don't seem in the right state of mind."

"You don't decide that for me," Akali said hotly, wishing her words weren't stumbling over each other, tasting like whiskey. "I'm alone, overwhelmed, inexperienced, and vulnerable. So can't you please take advantage of me?"

"Well when you put it like that, how can I refuse?" Equal parts amused and concerned, Evelynn gave her another one of those long, steady gazes. The ones where Akali felt like she was being pressed up face first into a solid pane of glass; the microscope was descending on her. 

Then Evelynn murmured, "Very well," before setting down her cup with a sort of finality that had Akali's heart thundering in response. She ran a hand through her long, wet, brown hair, letting it shiver down below her shoulders. Then she turned to the side, and slowly crawled over to Akali on all fours, until she was braced above her.

Akali was still reclining with one hand propping up her head, and she didn't move. She just watched with growing anticipation, tensing up, feeling nothing but Evelynn's body heat. 

"You want me to take advantage of you?" Evelynn asked, lordly above her, imperious.

She broke eye contact, rigid as iron. "I mean, if you don't have anything better to do."

"You're the only thing on my to-do list right now."

Akali snorted. Then she started giggling. "You're such a fucking dork."

"Mmhmm." Evelynn nuzzled the side of her face, kissing her cheek, and Akali thought she might melt into a puddle. She groaned, low when Evelynn's teeth worked at her ear and then high and needy as she kissed down the side of her neck. "It's my dirty secret."

Evelynn's mouth covered hers, hungrier and more demanding than that innocent first kiss in the rain. Akali allowed herself to accept it, and to feel what she wouldn't allow herself to feel the first time: It was so warm and so good and she was so loved. 

She couldn't stand it. It was too much, still, and she fought like a wild beast to keep her tears under control. Pulling away sharply, she pushed Evelynn off of her, scrambling to sit up, and trying hard to feel like she wasn't running scared. 

"Why now?" she demanded of her wildly. As if Evelynn would have the answer. Evelynn was just as blind as she was, if not more so. "Why are you here now?"

"I don't know," Evelynn said gently, then put both arms around her, holding onto her, just holding her.

"Why now? Why now?!" Akali beat a fist against her chest even as Evelynn held her tighter. Either to restrain her or to comfort her or both or neither; she couldn't tell. She couldn't even see, blinded by her tears and hitching sobs. "Don't tell me you're going to take care of me now. Where were you when I was sixteen? When I was twenty? Where were you when I needed you? Where the fuck were you?!"

"I'm sorry baby." Evelynn rubbed down her shoulders, her back, before resting her palm on the back of Akali's head again. "I'm here now. That's all anybody knows, I guess."

Akali wept, and fully intended to stay plastered to Evelynn's chest until she died. 

But Evelynn peeled her free to gently stroke her face, cleaning the tears as they fell. She had beautiful eyes, dispassionate and calm and centering. Akali was unspeakably grateful to see not an ounce of pity in them. She needed something solid to hold onto.

"Why did—?" Akali ducked her head against Evelynn's neck, knowing there wasn't an answer. "Why did she do that to me? Why did she do that to me?

"Why did she do that to me?"

A delicate eggshell cracked in half. In Akali's careful hands, she cradled the yolk while letting the whites drip into her cup, discarding it elsewhere for some other recipe. The mixer rattled, Akali's bold smile matching Evelynn's dispassionate gaze. "You're gonna like this one, for sure."

"Oh, Akali." Despite her carefully maintained aura of uninterest, Evelynn's eyes shimmered in distress. "An egg?"

"It's good!" Akali insisted. "It's like a liquid, sweet pie. And there's no whiskey in it. Only gin, simple syrup, lemon juice and soda water."

"An egg in my liquor..." Evelynn said, full of mistrust as the front door rattled. Mid-conversation, Kai'sa and Ahri made their way home, arms laden with groceries. "Ahri, would you drink something with raw egg?"

"Sure I would," Ahri said at once. "Raw egg is good in all sorts of things. Especially if Akali made it. Now come help me with this!"

"I see I'm outnumbered once again." Evelynn murmured, still getting up and grabbing most of the bags after kissing her wife hello. Kai'sa and Akali immediately got to work, chattering about their plans for dinner.

"Okay," Kai'sa burst, as if she'd been holding this in for a long time, "I have to ask. That first time I cooked for you... how was it?"

Akali began peeling radishes with sure, swift strokes. "Your plating was very nice."

"I mean the food!" 

"Oh, she's choosy about the compliments, huh." Akali grinned as Kai'sa kept whining. "Baby, you're my sous chef tonight. I wouldn't trust just anyone with that."

Getting up on her tiptoes, she kissed Kai'sa until she stopped frowning.

"Look, I'll try it first," Ahri was saying, trying to persuade Evelynn to give the cocktail a chance, and took a sip of the gin fizz. Akali turned in time to see her eyes widen. "Oh, fuck. Ummm. Actually, this sucks, Eve." Ahri took another deep drink. "Mmm. This is so bad, you definitely don't want any."

"Hey," Eve tried to reach for her drink, but Ahri pulled away. "Hey, excuse you. That's mine."

The two of them play-fought over the rest of the drink while Akali washed the rice and made sure there was enough for everyone, and Ahri stretched out all four limbs and unloaded all the drama at work that day, and Kai'sa chimed in with insightful little quips, and Evelynn listened in contentment, quiet and patient. 

"Oh, Akali," Evelynn said after a while, "Did you finish that paperwork I needed you to sign?"

"Mhmm," Akali said. "It's in my room, want me to get it?"

"After dinner," Ahri said, firmly. When Evelynn made a pouty noise, she sighed. "The process of getting a name change is slow as fuck, Eve. Waiting until after dinner will not delay it overmuch."

There were exceptions made for situations like theirs, but it wasn't too difficult to put them under the same family name. It took a while, sure, but all bureaucratic bullshit took a while. There were miles of red tape, but until then, it didn't matter if it was official or not. 

Akali was happy at home, always with a loving hand never too far out of reach.

 

 

...And that should have been the end of it. 

 

 

---

 

 

Let the world's sharpness, like a clasping knife,
Shut in upon itself and do no harm
In this close hand of Love, now soft and warm,
And let us hear no sound of human strife
After the click of the shutting.

Sonnet 24 - Let The World's Sharpness, Like A Clasping Knife, Elizabeth Barrett Browning

 

 

 

Notes:

track list

"It Hurts Me Too" by Karen Dalton
"Feel A Thing" by Meet Me @ The Altar

Chapter 3

Summary:

mirror true the sight i three lmao

this was so long I had to split it into two

I don't know anything about Miss Fortune (sarah) except 1)pirate? and 2) gay? so I hope I didn't butcher her character lmao

Formless at first, it took years to crystallize into something she could understand: Ahri liked reflections. 

When she was a kid she was obsessed with diamonds in particular. She wanted to know all about them, and went a little bananas when she found out they could be made in labs. A clunky geology collection formed in her shelves and in shoeboxes under her bed and she got shivers when the light hit the glass curve of a crystal ball and spilled out into a rainbow. That led to an interest in art and photography, the colors and the mirrors, the frames and the facets. 

As a teen she took a lot of witchy selfies, sprawled out next to her crystal collection while testing out a new eyeshadow palette and doing her best to let the boys in her class know she was open to being admired.

"What's with all the old cameras?" her best friend Sett asked, visiting because his mom bought him a new motorcycle and her parents bought her a mint condition Contax 645. Of course they both thought they were very sexy and way too cool to admit this was the teenage version of playing show-and-tell. But that's what it was.

There was no way in hell she was going to get into how holding her favorite cameras grounded her in her own body and the weight of them made her feel strong and she definitely wasn't going to get into how internal reflex mirrors worked.

"Vanity," she joked, even as she was increasingly dissatisfied with the person in her own mirror.

That, and she started seeing a mirror in her dreams. 

A person in the mirror. 

It came and went, each time formless. There was a haze of smoke, and then Ahri would see a person's shape. It wasn't an actual person, but a reflection of one. Of that she was certain. And years went by, and she realized the person in the mirror was a girl.

Eventually she had an idea, one that thrilled her, one that made sense. Every time the dream happened, she stared motionless. As if moving would startle her and the girl would flee. But perhaps the girl in the glass was herself, and this was a sign from the universe. Prophetic visions and dreams weren't unheard of in her family line. 

What if she dared to move, and saw the movement mirrored back to her? And she could finally have an answer for this feeling? For this analogue desire that stood alongside the mystery. 

When it didn't work— when she lifted her hand and the hazy figure remained motionless— it crushed her. The intensity surged through her so fiercely that the sheer shock of it shoved her into wakefulness.

I thought it was me! I thought it was me! I thought it could be me! I want to be a girl! I want to be a girl! Why wasn’t it me after all?

I thought it could be me. 

So she found out the girl in the mirror wasn't herself, but it wasn't an entirely fruitless endeavor. That morning she asked if her mom could start calling her by a different name. If nothing else, she was pretty sure that hoping the person in the mirror was herself meant that she needed to start taking some concrete steps.

It took a little more time than online searches suggested it might. Ahri went slowly. She was afraid if she shared that she was motivated by a dream girl, no one would take her seriously. 

"Do you ever see things in the mirrors or the crystals?" her mom asked.

"No, mom," Ahri said.

"Because if you do, that's okay. Clairvoyance runs in our family line."

"I know, mom."

"Especially the girls!"

"I know, mom."

There was openness to experimentation in her household. There wasn't a lot of patience for uncertainty, though. Her mother, who was a little romance-obsessed, hurt her in that careless way mothers do and said, "No wonder you don't have a soulmark yet. How is your partner supposed to find you if you don't even know who you are?"

She wanted to shoot back that not everyone was lucky enough to get their soul mark early and settle down fresh out of high school. And who at her age knew who they were yet? And why was her mom trying to rush her to settle on an identity just yet? And just because she was being cautious about transitioning didn't mean she was uncertain.

But Ahri was still a kid, so instead she burst into tears and her mother, alarmed, reassured her that wasn't what she meant but still it stung for a very long time.

I don't give a fuck what my soul mate thinks about me, she thought, acid-hot, even as she kept crying into her mom's chest, clinging to her arms. I don't owe anybody any part of myself.

The feverish intensity of childhood obsessions faded when she had to deal with a university coursework on top of entering the workforce. Her parents always loaded her up with leftovers every time she came over for dinner (which was like, every other day) and she was getting her degree in business administration and her crystal collection evolved into a taste for fine jewelry. Amethyst was her favorite, she tried to convince herself. But they were only her favorite because diamonds were too expensive.

"I thought for sure you'd try to make a career out of this," Sett said, again visiting for show-and-tell because he got a huge chest piece of a tattoo and she got a new apartment. 

She stopped to artfully arrange the flowers he'd brought. "This?"

"This." Sett gestured at the portraits and landscapes decorating her hallway, all her own work. 

"Photography?"

"Yeah."

She sniffed dismissively. "It doesn't line up with my plans."

Sett had perfected his lean-against-things-and-drawl maneuver over the years. "Plans are for people who can't handle surprises. Not someone you want in the ring beside you."

"I have no intention of getting in the ring with you. Some of us can't make a career off being a professional prettyman." That's what helped her piece together two and two. "Are you trying to get me to do your headshots pro bono again?"

"A smart businessman never pays for what he can get for free."

"Whatever." She might only be doing photography on the side, but that didn't mean she asked amateur prices. "You know my rates."

They ordered in. Somehow talking about their diets had Sett sizing her up, head to toe, and saying, "You are pretty enough."

She nearly dropped her spoon, laughing. "To be a wrestler?!"

Over the years she'd been to enough of his matches to keep up with the storylines, and she knew it was deceptively difficult. Sett was a showboat and a natural leading man. He had a wonderful way of drawing in a crowd, and he was big and hot and charismatic and he knew it. He looked really good in those little black man-panties they put him in, too. Ever since he joined Pro Wrestling Society Korea he was convinced they could make it big and popular like it was in Japan and America. Ahri had her doubts. 

"Not that kind of professional prettywoman." Sett smiled. "A model, or an actress. You know you're cute, right?"

"No." Ahri fluttered her eyelashes obnoxiously. "No one's ever told me that. Keep going."

He snorted. "That's what I get for trying to compliment you, huh."

It wasn't as though the compliment were unwelcome. But Ahri was still trying to figure her life out. She was trying to build independence for herself. To stop defining her life by her relationship to other people. Ahri didn't want to be the girl in the mirror anymore; she didn't want to be the one constricted by the frame. 

She wanted to be the one behind the lens. 

"Don't tell me you're scared to show a little skin?" Sett's eyes glimmered when she didn't respond. "You've never been shy about that. Or not hungry for attention."

"You better behave, mister, cause I'm better friends with your momma than I am with you and I don't want to compromise that relationship."

Sett grumbled a bit but he dropped the subject. There weren't any dishes to be washed but he was a gentleman and flailed for something to do until she volunteered him to take her garbage out on his way home. There was a brief moment right before he left when she touched over his chest, feeling it, warm, warm right through his henley. Probably still tender from the fresh tattoo, but he didn't flinch away. And she was a little lonely and he was friendly and they liked each other, and she thought for a moment that maybe that could be enough. If only for an evening.

Then Ahri sent him on his way and went to the bathroom to wash her makeup off. 

Sighing heavily, Ahri pressed her forehead to the mirror.

She pointed firmly at herself, accusatory. "Stop being horny." 

Then she stripped, slowly, doing something she hadn't done since she was a kid.

"Nothing yet, huh?" she asked her own reflection, not spotting a single mark on her skin. 

Her mother and her father both had semi circles on their forearms, matching when aligned into a perfect whole. Half her childhood friends woke up with marks on their skin right after graduating. Some unlucky ones lost their sense of smell or taste, or stopped seeing colors. Most unusual of them all, one woke up with different eyes entirely.

Finding your soulmate, if you had one, meant something. It meant you were an adult. 

It meant that there was something within reach that could complete you.

Thinking about perfect circles and halves and holes and wholes, Ahri laid back in bed and tried to get into the mystery novel her father had loaned her from his ebook library. Tapping on her phone, she twitched in surprise when a notification made her screen shudder.

Someone wants to message you!

"Hmm," Ahri said.

Immediately abandoning her plan to be less horny, she swapped apps to Thyme, the most popular and well-known place to fuck around and find out. Ahri hadn't been active on it lately, but still got nudges and taps now and then from other equally horny hopefuls. There were filters for every kind of situation, but Ahri made it clear on her profile she was only looking for people without soulmarks.

This was why she didn't get a lot of nudges. Few in her age bracket matched that description. 

Plenty of people had their soulmark but hadn't met their soulmate yet, so they were still technically single. Plenty of people met their soulmate but it didn't work out, or had a soulmate but wanted more on the side. 

Ahri was not interested in healing broken people, helping assholes cheat on their spouses, or being a sex toy for an established couple (though the longer she went without being touched the more appealing that last one sounded). Ahri wanted to keep this as uncomplicated as possible.

I like uncomplicated, said the message in her inbox. My name is Sarah. We're both very beautiful; would you like to meet somewhere in public so we can make everyone around us rabidly jealous?

Ahri did.

That weekend when she was finally free, she called her mom (she tried to call her mom often). They spoke about school and jobs and life and Ahri mentioned a date. That, predictably, was met with mixed reactions.

"Good on you for putting yourself out there," her mother said uncertainly. "Sometimes you gotta give destiny a little jump start?"

"Mhm," Ahri said, getting off the train and looking around for a landmark. She was grateful Sarah had brought up the idea of meeting in public; online dating was hazardous enough, and she felt weirdly secure that Sarah was being thoughtful about it.

"So many girls don't find what they're looking for until they reach out and take it, you know?"

"Yeah, I know mom."

"Hunt it down with a spear."

"I don't think my date would appreciate that," Ahri said.

"Is he nice? How did you meet?"

"Uh." Ahri stopped in her tracks, trying to find a response. "School. In school. She's a girl, also."

"Oh! I'm sorry." A sound of shuffling on the other end of the line. "You know my sister didn't find her soul mate until she went out with purpose to find one."

"I know mom."

"Maybe that's what destiny is waiting for. For you to be ready and open to it."

Once more Ahri stopped, right before seating herself on a patio at a local cafe. The botanical garden nearby was popular for lovers and couples, with wandering paths and lots of secluded spots for a quick kiss. It was very romantic. Maybe too romantic for what she wanted.

"So you've always liked boys." Her mother sounded uncertain again as Ahri ordered something cold to drink. "I didn't know you were dating girls too. Do you think your soul mate might be a girl?"

Oh my god. "...Maybe!"

Ahri didn't tell her that finding a soul mate was her last priority right then. 

"Listen mom." She glanced around her, trying to find a familiar face. Sarah still hadn't arrived. "I wanna keep talking but my date just showed up..."

"Oh!" Her mother fluttered. "Yes! Go go go! Good luck honey! Stay safe! Call me if you need me! I love you!"

"I love you too!" 

She couldn't help but laugh when her mother hung up. Smiling, Ahri sipped on her tea and scanned the area again, trying to spot her date. Wondering if she'd be waiting long. She was only a few minutes late; surely they hadn't missed each other?

Maybe she shouldn't have hung up so soon. Without her mom chattering away, Ahri was left alone with nothing but her own thoughts. They increased in volume and frequency, each more dire than the last. By the time ten minutes had passed, Ahri was frozen to her seat, thinking, Did Sarah ghost me? What am I even doing here? What exactly do I expect? Am I that desperate to be touched? To be fucked? By anyone? Is that why I don't have a soul mate yet? Is that—?

Something shadowed the afternoon sun, cutting into her light and looming over her.

"You're way too pretty sitting there. Even if we hadn't scheduled this, I'd be hitting on you right now." 

Ahri blinked rapidly, sitting back to look up at, "Sarah?"

"Mhmm." Red-headed, tall, and with a lot of cleavage on display, Sarah pulled up a chair. "I didn't expect you to be cuter than your photos."

The first emerging coherent thought in Ahri's head was thank god she came! 

Then on the heels of that, Oh, she's HOT! HOT HOT HOT HOT! HOT GIRL! 

Caught off guard, Ahri had to fight past the stammer in her voice. When she spoke, she was studiously even-keeled. "My face wasn't on a lot of the pics I sent."

"Which I appreciated very much. I asked for the goods and you delivered."

Comparing Sarah to her profile, Ahri refused to let herself be intimidated by the mental checklist currently ticking off in her brain. Sarah was athletic (wow) worked at a talent agency (wow wow) and was pretty (super pretty!) and bold (always a plus) and didn't have a soul mate or a soul mark (and Ahri suddenly, ferociously wished that a soul mark would lash onto them both, smack dab in the middle of their faces. Then, unable to avoid fate's plans, they fucked right there on the hot patio table). 

Averting her gaze, Ahri traced the condensation on her cup. She shrugged. "I liked the way you asked for them." 

Sarah's grin broadened. The sky didn't open up and spit destiny all over them, but the day was still young and so were they. When she extended one hand, expectant, Ahri's pulse quickened slightly.

"You wanna get out of here?" 

So soon? Ahri's eyes flicked from the offered hand up to an incredibly pretty face. She accepted it silently, and then Sarah gave it a happy squeeze. Helping her to her feet, she led them over to— to the botanical garden.

Right! Ahri thought dizzily, leaning closer and clinging to her arm. The date! We're going on a date first! 

Sarah paid for their entry fee without asking, which Ahri wasn't sure if she liked or not, but still noted. "I'm not sure I've ever been here."

"It's great. There's always something small and intimate to capture," Ahri said. Sarah gave her a quizzical smile, prompting Ahri to follow it up with, "I'm a photographer."

Ahri was stunned at how quickly the words left her mouth when they were not true. 

When Sarah seemed too interested in that, she made sure to correct herself firmly. 

"I'm an amateur photographer, I mean." 

Fuck, that sounded like she was cutting herself down, which was also not her intention at all. But she knew Sarah worked in an industry adjacent to her interests and would quickly parse Ahri as not being as savvy about it as a pro would.

It was difficult to not over-explain. She wanted to tell Sarah that she took her hobby seriously and that she was good at it. Not pro, but good. There was inherent weakness in that urge too, though. To fawn and flutter for attention and praise. Ahri didn't want to show her hand either way. They talked about work and school and life and hobbies, and before Ahri knew it, a whole hour had passed.

"Thanks for inviting me here," Sarah said.

Ahri smoothed her free hand through her hair, smiling charmingly up at Sarah. "Thanks for keeping me not-bored."

"Entertaining pretty girls is my full time job. It leaves no room for hobbies but I don't mind."

"Why not pick up photography instead?" Ahri held her hand tighter, swinging it in a wide arc. "You already work with models. Cut out the middleman."

Warm but muted, some of the shine in Sarah's eyes picked up. "I prefer dealing with all the legalese and the money instead of the art parts."

"So what I'm hearing is if I want to go pro I should give you a call."

Sarah shook her head, pulling Ahri closer. "Aw no, don't do that. I can't date models."

"Can't, or won't?"

"Can't date my own models. Won't date other people's models. I don't fuck where I eat."

Ahri finally, firmly decided that she was charmed. Once Ahri got past her initial nerves, they had found a comfortable pace. Friendly, conversational, flirty, but no more flirty than she was with Sett. This shift in conversation forced her to reassess, eyeing Sarah up and down.

Sarah stared right back at her in this obvious, appraising way that made Ahri want to blush. "You know, I view girls like you as a challenge."

Ahri's eyebrows arched, slowly. "...Oh?"

"Yeah. All bored and sexy."

"I'm glad my disinterest is getting you off."

Sarah huffed, slowing her pace. One hand held onto Ahri's. The grip was tight and claiming, her thumb stroking over the back of Ahri's palm. The other went up to touch her hair, rubbing it between two fingers. The obvious pleasure Sarah was getting out of just touching her was almost obscene, and she hadn't stopped touching Ahri from the moment they started walking through the gardens. 

"Look, we both know we're not soul mates. We want the same thing— someone to fill the space between now and destiny." Sarah had stopped walking entirely now, one arm draping heavy over Ahri's shoulders. It made her feel small, pinned down... in a good way. "So I only have to convince you I'm worth the time wasted."

Objectively Ahri wanted to be offended, but she was too charmed and turned on to complain. "Does this approach often work for you?"

"It pays to be aggressive." Sarah's intense stare relaxed, warm and butter soft now. "I like getting paid. And everybody says they like 'easy'. What's easier than letting me call the shots?"

It was true. Easy was what she'd asked for, and Sarah was giving it to her on a platter. Still, she needed to check one more thing. "What exactly do you expect to happen?"

"I don't expect anything." The heavy arm around her got heavier and Sarah's grip grew forceful, guiding her around a corner where they were as alone as they could be. The thick vines hung from a trellis above them, creating the illusion of intimacy. Warm palms planted on her shoulders, then her face, thumb resting under the swell of her lower lip. "But I want to fuck that haughty look off your face."

Ahri counted exactly four hot, heaving exhales out of her own mouth before she lost the composure she was hunting for. 

Both fists curled into Sarah's jacket— and she pulled away, turning her face to the side when Sarah tried to kiss her. "Not here."

"Then let me take you somewhere we can."

A long trip on public transit would have been agony. Fortunately, Sarah rode a motorcycle, and took Ahri to her place. She kissed her as soon as they were through the threshold, hands on her shoulders and undressing her and walking her back to Sarah's bedroom. She told Ahri every other filthy thing she wanted to do to her, and then she showed her.

For the first time in a long time, Ahri was at peace. She was slumped over Sarah's naked chest, feeling like she might purr when the other woman stroked a hand down her back.

"Hold me," she said, because she wasn't afraid of asking for what she needed at this point, and Sarah gave her a big, long squeeze. Eventually they both grew a little restless, and it could have easily turned into more sex, but Ahri checked the clock and saw it was getting late, and really didn't want to spend the night in a stranger's home.

So she kissed Sarah one more time and then briskly started getting dressed. Sarah made no move to join her, lazing in bed, naked and shameless. Ahri was grateful that Sarah didn't probe, like, did you have a good time? or leaving so soon? or worst of all can we see each other again?

Then Ahri realized this was more of the same, more of exactly what she'd asked for: easy. No questions or expectations or commitments, and found it extremely freeing.

"Hey," Sarah did say, flickering her fingertips for Ahri to come closer. When she did, Sarah pulled her down for another kiss. "Make sure you don't forget anything."

"I'll do my best." She kissed her forehead, too. "Thank you, Sarah. I really needed that."

"Mhm. Me too."

"So how did the date go?" her mother asked her over the phone.

"Oh, you know." Ahri swished a wet rag over her kitchen countertop, in the middle of cleaning her kitchen. Sett often accused her of being fastidious, but she countered that he was just a slob. "Lightning didn't strike or anything, so."

"It's not always lightning. Sometimes, it's coming home." When Ahri didn't respond, her mother moved onto another topic. One of her friends needed a professional photographer for some kind of important business event. Would Ahri be interested?

She knew that love was probably closer to that cozy moment she'd shared with Sarah than anything like the stories. 

She also knew... it had to be a photograph, that image in her dreams. More now than ever before. After coming home from Sarah's place she had a feverish slew of dreams, a night full of reflections and women and being touched and being loved. A photograph. Maybe not right now, maybe not of herself, but of a girl important to her. She was on the right track.

Photographs were the key. This talent, or hobby, or whatever she decided to call it. It was the key to her happiness. Not anything— or anyone— else. Ahri took her mom up on the offer right then and there.

Instead of reminding her mother that this was just a hobby, she said yes.

She took the job. She switched her major. She took Sett's headshots for him, too, pro bono, because he was her stupid friend and she loved him. A few times, Sarah texted her, or she texted Sarah, and they spent a few hours together. So the cavernous yawning anxiety of being alone never hit her again, and she convinced herself she was one of those rare cases. A person who would never have a soulmate.

Not a late bloomer. Not anything. 

Just NOT, she texted Sett after affirming she'd be at his show. 

Then she sat down on the edge of her bed, her palm landing on something soft and warm and dry.

She looked down into little peppermint eyes, a pink corn snake slithering its tongue up at her. Not its tongue— her tongue. She was a female snake, Ahri knew at once though she couldn't say why. Every inch of her body said to get up and scream, but those pink eyes held her, trance-like, until she held out a hand.

The little snake slithered onto her palm and up her arm, tongue flicking again.

"How did you get in here?" she asked, dazed, pulling the snake to her face and petting her. "Oh my gosh, you're so pretty. I've never seen anything as pretty as you."

By the time her body caught up to the rest of her mind, Ahri knew without a shadow of a doubt what this was. There was a soul swimming in the animal's eyes, one that matched hers like two sides of a coin.

lmao fuck nevermind i think i literally just got it, Ahri texted Sett, before collapsing onto her mattress and clutching her head, not sure whether to laugh or cry.

She definitely didn't tell her mom at first, let alone anyone else— like Sarah. So it was a secret between her and Sett for a while, as she tried to wrap her head around what it all meant. 

"So now what?" Ahri wondered, letting Eopsin (as she had named the snake) crawl all over her hands. She never needed to eat and Ahri assumed she also didn't need to sleep, but she still caught the snake lazing in the sun taking cat naps. 

Or. Snake naps?

"I dunno." Sett was sitting on her desk, hands on his knees. He frowned in concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ahri held the snake to her chest and kissed her. It was a little crazy but she was already so fond of Eopsin, though she had a sneaking suspicion it was because the snake was, well, so damn pretty. She never knew snakes could be cute and she was obsessed with them now. "She's so gentle. I can tell everything about the woman she belongs to, too."

Sett tilted his head. "You know it's a woman?"

"Yes." Firmly, yes. "She's uh, she's low-affect, at least on the outside, but she's got a dramatic streak. She's really emotional, just good at hiding it. Um, and she scares people, I think."

"You can tell all that from the snake?" Sett sounded amazed.

"Yeah, definitely." How could she begin to explain that she saw it all in every little movement, every shuffle and flick? She was already half in love. It should have been alarming but Ahri was too excited to fear this. "But she doesn't scare me. She seems, like, perfect. Like my ideal woman."

She smiled at the snake coiled in her hands until she looked up and saw how Sett was looking at her.

Then it all swelled up inside her and she was nervous again. "Am I letting you down? I know we were both in the Too Cool For Soulmates gang." And here she was gushing over someone she might not meet for years. 

"What? No!" He sat up straighter. "No way. I'm amazed. And happy for you. Really." Rubbing the back of his neck, he shrugged. "It's funny and a little weird, but it's better that you're happy about it than upset."

After slowly letting everyone important know, Ahri knew she needed to bite the bullet and text Sarah. It wasn't as though they were dating. As things stood they rarely talked to each other, so it wasn't like Ahri kept it from her on purpose...

But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not yet. She would wait for Sarah to message her first, then tell her. 

In trying to build a portfolio (and pay the bills) she accepted any job she could. She was always practicing, and intent made all the difference in breaking old plateaus. So after Sett's show a few months later, when he chattered her ear off (shouting, because the crowd was still rowdy), he convinced her to take somebody's business card.

He said that they were looking to "fund young artists" and Ahri was shameless enough to dial it in and ask to meet up with her potential patron.

They'd meet at a gallery the patron owned. A gallery sounded nice to her. Like something a real artist would do.

It was right after she set the meeting up that Sarah finally texted her.

Come over tonight.

It had been weeks since they last texted each other, and months since Ahri got Eopsin— since they last slept together. Ahri was at the station already. One stop on the right track would take her to Sarah. The other direction would take her home. Opening her purse, she looked inside and saw Eopsin's little noodle face staring up at her. The curve of her mouth looked almost like a kitten, smiling at Ahri. 

Oh, this was gonna kill her with guilt. 

Ahri texted Sarah, Can we meet up somewhere else first?

Sure. Wherever you want. I'll pay.

It wasn't too odd to invite Sarah out on a proper date. True, most of their time together was spent in bed, but they both enjoyed getting out of the house and holding hands and doing other normal couple things. Pretending for a day was fun, before one of them had to leave.

It wasn't purely a cold, transactional relationship. It just wasn't love, and they both knew it. 

Still she found herself bargaining with the snake. "Look, you're very cute, and it's not like I don't want what you're selling. But if I'm supposed to be with your owner, am I, you know, am I supposed to be patient and celibate until she pops up?"

Eopsin didn't respond.

"I mean, it's been months. I deleted my dating apps. How am I supposed to find her?"

Again the snake's tongue flickered. Great. 

Sarah seemed surprised that Ahri wanted to meet up at an art gallery. "It's late. This place is gonna close in like five minutes."

Ahri just shrugged. "I'm coming here tomorrow for a business meeting and I want to size up the place." 

"Really? Well hey, congratulations!" 

When Sarah moved to hug her, Ahri neatly side-stepped it, while keeping her eyes trained on the paintings. Sarah paused, then put an arm over her shoulder instead. 

"I um," Ahri said, eyes trained in front of her, "I wanted to ask. Are your parents soul mates?"

"Yeah," Sarah said, cautiously.

"Did they have a unique mark?"

"No. Just the normal, I think, marks on the skin and all that." 

After that, Ahri pointedly did not reply. They wandered from painting to painting, together but not together. It would have been a fun time under normal circumstances. Even if Sarah was a self-proclaimed knuckle-dragger sometimes, she got a kick out of Ahri trying to explain it all to her. Once they were nearing the exit, a huge exhale released all the tension from Sarah's shoulders.

"You got yours, didn't you."

Not a question. In the end Ahri had to wait for Sarah to pick up the hint. She was so mad at herself for not being brave about it. And she felt horrendously guilty for leading her on. 

Eyes burning, Ahri cleared her throat and nodded, still not looking at her. "Yeah. Like, not too long ago. And I know it’s silly but I immediately wondered what if it was you?"

Not unkindly, but very firmly, Sarah dissolved her of that notion. "It’s not. I’m sorry."

"Oh." Ahri dug the heel of her palm into one eye. "Well that fucking sucks."

"It doesn't have to be all gloom and doom, princess." Sarah tried to cheer her up, which actually just made her feel worse. It wasn't right that Sarah was trying to make her feel better when Ahri was the one being shiftless. "We can still see each other. It'll be more like outings and less like dates and we won't fuck. I do like your company."

Bright eyes swept over her, searching and glittering.

"So where's the mark?" Sarah asked. She patted Ahri's butt affectionately. "Somewhere hidden? Cause I don't see it anywhere obvious."

This part was hard to explain too, but Ahri found herself smiling. "It's a snake."

"Oh, now that's brutal. I love it. Where though?"

"No," Ahri said, taking Eopsin out of her purse. "It's a snake."

Sarah recoiled. "What?!"

"I know!" Ahri started laughing, holding the snake aloft. "But look at her."

Sarah did, staring hard, maybe thinking it was a prank. Other people had done the same, assumed the worst, until they got a good look at Eopsin. There was no mistaking her for a normal animal. The same way Ahri could feel her soul inside it, others could sense there was something auspicious about Eopsin.

"Well I'll be damned." Sarah shook her head. "You really are special. I've never seen anything like that before."

"I guess it means my soul mate has a snake, too?" Ahri guessed. She turned Eopsin in her hands until she was talking right to her face. "Eopsin, honey, can you double check that Sarah isn't my soul mate?"

The snake, of course, could not or would not do such a thing. She stuck her little tongue out and crawled and that was about it.

"What does that mean?" Ahri joked as they left the gallery. "Is one lick a yes and two is no?" She tilted her little head up by the chin. "Can you be more specific?"

With the bad news broken and the worst over, Sarah and Ahri both exhibited a weird weightlessness. The tension was no longer so tense and Sarah was laughing at her for being silly, and Ahri apologized, but magical soul snakes tended to rearrange your notion of silly. 

It was only when they reached Sarah's motorcycle that the tension returned. Instinct had led them to this part, where normally they'd drive home and fuck. 

Ahri spun on her heels. "So um! Bye! I'll see you later! I can take the train home."

"No no no no." Sarah dragged her back. "I'm not letting you, this late at night."

"I'm a big girl."

"So am I, and we can be normal about this." Sarah's eyes dropped down. "Unless it would hurt your co-pilot?"

"No, she's not a real snake. She even teleports sometimes." That made Sarah laugh but Ahri wasn't sure she was ready to tell her that wasn't a joke.

Eopsin wrapped possessively around Ahri's wrist. She didn't seem mad— and Ahri could definitely tell when the snake was mad— but she was looking directly at Sarah like a stern father figure. 

Bowing slightly, Sarah grinned. "Do I have your permission?"

As if genuinely considering it, Eopsin kept staring at her, head erect.

Then she vanished.

"Oh!" Sarah recoiled again. "Damn."

"Oh." Ahri agreed. "I guess that is...permission."

They were both silent for a beat.

"Yeah?" Sarah said.

"Yes," Ahri said. Then she got onto the motorcycle and held onto Sarah the whole ride home, heart thundering, and her stupid horny body going yesss, yesss, you get everything you want, you don't have to wait, you get a soul mate and a fuck buddy and you're like every person on the dating apps that you hated! it's you!

Parked nearby, Sarah idled on her bike as Ahri idled near her, twisting her hands together. What would they do now, to say goodbye? Hug? Kiss?

"Walk me to my door?"

Sarah killed the engine and did just that, sauntering a few steps behind Ahri and then they were at her door and out of excuses.

"Well," Ahri said, and when Sarah didn't fill the silence she went, "Good night!" and fiddled with her keys a little too much. Turned her back on Sarah and fiddled with them some more. Not only out of artifice. The tremble in her hands was very real, and she couldn't get the right key to stay still, when behind her Sarah spoke. Softly.

"I'm not going to make it easy for you this time."

Ahri paused, hands still shaking, as Sarah kept talking.

"If you want something more from me, you need to say it out loud."

Hotboxed in her own skin, Ahri thought she must be blushing from her nape to her knees. 

"H-how," Ahri said, and for the first time since she met Sarah she was afraid. "How can I ask for that? I made it clear this would end if you got your soul mark."

Sarah moved closer until she stood right behind Ahri. She could feel her body heat.

"Well if you'll notice,” Sarah said, her breath on Ahri’s ear. “I still don't have one."

"And you don't think that— you don't think— wh-what would you even think of me, if I asked you to not treat me the same?" Oh no, no, nooo, she was not crying now. Now she definitely couldn't face Sarah, not until she could force her tear ducts to suck it up. "I like you a lot. I don't want you to think less of me."

A warm hand comforted her, resting on her shoulder, and Ahri reached up to cover it with her own.

"Hey." Sarah spoke gently. "That no-soulmark thing was your rule, not mine. We can need different things. In fact, I think the only thing I asked from you is to make it easy."

The hand slipped out from under hers and grasped Ahri by the back of the neck. She melted, comforted and controlled. Arousal dripped down between her shoulder blades, grabbing her as insistently as a pair of hands around her hips.

"Well? Are you easy?"

Ahri groaned and pressed her forehead to the door. "Um, well, it's— I haven't met my soulmate yet, so really— I think it's okay." She quickly whirled around, gazing up at Sarah pleadingly. "But when I do then we're over over. That's what I need. So for right now, maybe...?"

When she trailed off, Sarah refused to finish it for her. "That's not good enough. Tell me what you want. I need you to say it out loud."

Ahri pressed her thighs together, not sure if she could muster up the courage to do it, but her need outweighed everything else. "Kiss me please."

As soon as she said it, Sarah swooped in and grabbed her by the face, kissing her breathless. Finding the right key was still a battle, but once they were inside she had to say, "Kiss me again. Keep kissing me."

"And?" Sarah taunted her, pushing her back to where the bedroom was, because she knew these steps by heart but she still was going to set the rules. When Ahri's nerves overtook her again, Sarah pried more out of her. "I'm not doing shit until you open that pretty, slutty little mouth of yours and you beg me for it."

All rationality had long since fled. Now there was nothing but this cavernous thumping in her skull. Now she was free, really free. Clutching onto Sarah's jacket, she curled inward, face to Sarah's chest and her back to the mattress and she sobbed. "Suck me off. Fuck me. With a strap-on. I want you inside of me."

Sarah muttered, "That's more like it." 

Maybe it was shallow but she felt absolutely perfect when she was fucking someone. Or more specifically, when someone was fucking her. It was hard not to feel perfect with Sarah breathing raggedly behind her, telling her, "You're so perfect."

"Fuck, you're so fucking perfect. You're so perfect Ahri, you're so perfect." It was easy, exactly what she asked for and nothing more. Something warm and solid dragged over her back. Sarah bit into her shoulder, grabbed her by the hair, fucking her and loudly getting off. The warmth travelled, clear and purposeful, and Ahri realized what it was right before the snake wrapped up her shoulder and slunk onto the pillow, tail whispering over her scalp. "Oh god, I wish you were mine."

In a blood-red haze, Eopsin's eyes suddenly filled her entire blurry field of vision. Lightning hit. Or maybe it didn't. At the very least, it struck close enough to feel the thunder, and Ahri shook like a tree cleaved in half, coming and coming in delicious, rippling little waves. And then Eopsin calmly slunk away, unbothered, while Ahri was struggling to breathe. It was definitely easy to fall asleep after that, and ask to be held, and for Sarah to spend the night cuddling her. It was all a lot easier to ask for after that.

 

 

 

When Ahri woke up the next morning in a haze, Eopsin was cuddled up on the back of Sarah's neck, and she smiled to see it.

Despite frightening people who didn't know better, and occasionally being impossible to predict, Eopsin was a very sweet girl. And shy sometimes, too, painfully shy. It was a good omen that she liked Sarah, too, and Ahri let her know as much.

"Maybe it's because she likes watching other women fuck you," Sarah said. "That certainly was an... experience."

"Maybe it's because you're taking care of me."

Frowning in concern, Sarah rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "You handily take care of yourself, princess, and I think if anyone tried to take care of you you'd bite them."

"Well," Ahri started, but found she couldn't disagree. "I hope my soulmate doesn't mind that I'm willful and horny, then."

Sarah lazily spanked her ass, hard enough that she felt the echo of being roughly ridden. "If she does, you know I'll always be your side dick."

Ahri reached out for Eopsin, who slithered over and lovingly wrapped around her wrist. Whoever her soulmate was, they were definitely a cuddlebug. Then a quick glance at the clock let her know that she was running late. 

"Fuck!" Ahri leaped out of bed, tearing through the room and getting dressed in a rush. "I gotta meet the gallery owner. Fuck, fuck, fuck." She could do her makeup on the train, right? "Take my key, lock up when you leave, then put it under the mat outside, okay?"

Sarah gasped in offense. "I don't get to keep it?"

"No, you don't get to keep it." She tossed a blouse at Sarah. "And I don't trust you behind the wheel before your second coffee and I don't have time for that, so no, you can't drive me either!"

"Don't be mean. I made you come four times."

"And I'm very grateful." Ahri did soften up a little, kissing Sarah goodbye. "Have a good day. Call me when you need me."

"Next Friday?" Sarah asked with a smile, and Ahri said yes and kissed her again before tearing out the door. 

 

She was a master at getting shit done on the fly. Ahri preferred to have her whole life organized out on a mini-planner, of course, but a little flexibility could save her life. By the time she stepped off the train she was as put-together as one could reasonably expect, though her eyeliner was a little smudged.

Putting everything back into her tote bag, she readied her introduction speech and worried about her portfolio. Phone in hand, she was double checking the name of the person she was supposed to meet and making sure her own website was presentable when she walked into the lobby. It was allegedly closed to the public but Ahri found the door unlocked and trotted inside, feeling like she was breaking and entering.

The current exhibit was something about purity. A lot of white, a lot of negative space. Ahri's heels clicked on those long, white tile floors, nerves mounting higher and higher with each step as she made her way towards the only person in the building, standing out in all black like a dark candle flame.

This must be the owner. She was tall, brunette, and had her back to Ahri, studying a large painting in front of her. 

At her feet was the only source of color in the room. A little gold-furred dog, Ahri thought at first, until it slinked up to its feet and trotted around with feline grace and an unmistakably vulpine profile. 

Stopping in her tracks, Ahri stared down at the fox.

The fox barked, once, alerting the owner to someone's presence.

"Forgive me," said the woman, turning around. She had her gaze on the floor, as if reluctant to acknowledge the existence of another human when she had been so comfortable alone. Expression severe and thoughtful, the woman had intense focus etched onto her. Everything from her stance to her makeup was on purpose, informing the viewer that this was a woman who never did anything without thinking it through. And some part of her was still staring at the painting, Ahri could tell, still lost in whatever all that negative space meant to her. "I didn't hear you come in."

Two light brown eyes, so light they could have been gold, finally flickered up to meet hers. It was perfunctory, the rules of politeness forcing her to do it when she clearly would rather be anywhere else. 

The second their eyes met that expression changed and sharpened like a knife, immediately grabbing Ahri and not letting her go.

Lightning hit her. Unmistakable, with the echoes of something sung centuries before she was ever born.

"Oh," Ahri said. "Hello. Am I... late?"

"Hello." The woman with the dazzling golden eyes kept looking at her. It was too composed to be called a stare, and nowhere near lecherous enough to be called a leer, but she was definitely looking with uninterrupted intrigue and Ahri didn't know what to do with her hands. "And no. It appears I'm early."

"You're my soulmate," Ahri said.

"It appears I am that as well."

What could she say?

Dumbstruck, Ahri could only stare at her soulmate. Poised and powerful and perfect, and gazing at her with so much calculation in her eyes. Assessing her? Finding her short of the mark? Impressed with her? Ahri couldn't tell. 

Ahri looked down at her wrist where Eopsin was holding her, needing the assurance of her soulmark. She could feel her, warm and secure and smiling and attentive, staring at Ahri with her little cat-like mouth and her candy-like, doll-perfect eyes. Those eyes didn't match the strange woman’s in color but she saw her soul in them, without a doubt. Taking courage from this, Ahri strode forward with more bravery than she felt and introduced herself.

Though, they already knew each other's names. They'd exchanged emails about it.

"Ahri," said Evelynn, her soulmate, tasting the name and still, still just looking at her. Then she stiffened a bit. "I don't mean to assume we're already on a first name basis."

"It doesn't bother me," Ahri said honestly. "Your name is very pretty, I think I'd love to say it often." On instinct, she flirted, and it wasn't her pretending and being coy, it was earnest and real, this was real and it was happening. "Evelynn, Evelynn, Evelynn."

Now Evelynn seemed a little rattled. Maybe reality had finally caught up to her, and her pale, dour face grew even paler. "My— friends call me Eve."

"We'll have to figure out what your soul mate calls you, then."

At her feet, the little fox put both forelimbs on Evelynn's calf and yapped. Evelynn glanced down, briefly, then back up to Ahri. "Should we focus on work first and then deal with... this?"

A sudden thought made Ahri's stomach sink. "I don't think we can work together anymore," she said, sadly. Then she laughed. "Isn't this a conflict of interest? I feel guilty begging you for money now."

"I would have done this anyway." Evelynn was firm. "Now I only have more reason to do it. You," Evelynn took a few half-steps forward, arm outstretched. Only to immediately ground herself, hand dropping to her side again. "It's my duty. I'm responsible for you."

"Well that's... romantic," Ahri said, a little sharper than she meant. What she really wanted to say was, uhhh, no you're not? which wasn't really much better. 

Then she remembered just this morning, how Sarah said she'd bite anyone who tried to take care of her, and quickly reversed course to a more diplomatic rejection. "It's not you, it's me. Promise. I'm an artist, and I have maybe too much pride, and this would make me question my integrity. I don't want that to overshadow our relationship, or start us off with a transaction. So... I must respectfully decline." 

"Then can you do it as a favor for your soul mate?"

That was much more difficult to say no to, and Evelynn evidently knew it because a little flicker of satisfaction lit up those yellow eyes. Struggling against the instinct to still refuse her, Ahri tugged her scarf over her neck, hoping there weren't any obvious bite marks.

"Sorry." Evelynn relented after a moment. "That's unfair, isn't it?"

"A little. Do you find people often have a hard time telling you no, Evelynn?"

"Not unless they have a death wish." Evelynn smiled, eyes closed gently as if savoring her own bad joke.

"And why does my art interest you?"

"I'm no one special, but my family is, and liking art is a class signifier, so here I am."

Evelynn started walking with the little fox at her heel. On instinct Ahri followed too, at her side, through the same gallery she'd explored last night with Sarah. It was a very different experience with Evelynn, who moved with careless authority through the hallways she owned.

"I don't know much about photography, but I knew I liked yours. I was hoping you would open the gate for me to learn more, and appreciate more. My decision was made last night, Miss Kim, I merely wanted today to finalize it."

They moved past the areas where the public was allowed and into the offices, where Ahri found herself alone in a room with her soulmate and a very large, flat, hip-height desk. Suddenly she was ferociously glad she was operating on post-nut clarity, because otherwise she'd probably be losing her mind even more than she already was. 

Evelynn was half bent over, picking up a file from the desk— glancing up at Ahri with a bland expression. "You know, in case you turned out to be a disgusting, rude little goblin in real life."

It took her several stunned heartbeats to realize she was being teased. "A what?"

"A nasty person." She tapped the file on the desk to even out the papers within before offering it to Ahri. "Someone who offended me within an hour of meeting. Or a shameless sycophant, which I can stand even less. You're neither; I'm relieved."

Raising an eyebrow, Ahri looked down at the little fox, who was scrabbling his paws on Evelynn's calf. "What exactly have you been telling her?" she accused him.

Evelynn seemed very invested in pretending the fox wasn't trying to dig a hole into her leg. "Nothing. Kuho is a perfectly well behaved and fancy little man."

"He looks like he wants to be picked up."

"Yes, well, he's not normally this affectionate in public."

Kuho dropped to his belly, fluffy tail wagging so hard it threatened to dust the floor. Zipping away, he ran back and circled the desk chair so fast Ahri almost missed it. Then he launched up onto the desk, scattering the contents everywhere and squealing, furiously 'digging' right onto the soft wood.

Evelynn cracked. "All right, all right, Kuho! Easy! Maniac." 

The next time Kuho launched off the desk, Evelynn easily caught him mid-flight. He wiggled, whining and snuffling into her elbow as Evelynn looked mortified. 

"I promise I don't do that." When Kuho started nibbling and licking and giving little foxy kisses up Evelynn's neck, Ahri added, "I might sometimes do that."

After tucking the files away— the ones that probably contained her contract, to sign or deny as she wished— Ahri retrieved her phone from her purse and angled it, snapping a few photos. Evelynn pursed her lips in suspicion, but it washed into curiosity when Ahri shared the photos with her. 

"You really are good at that."

"It helps when I have a talented model." Despite all his wiggling, Kuho suddenly snapped into well-behaved posing when the camera came out. Ahri hadn't predicted that, but in retrospect, she wasn't sure why she'd started taking the pictures to begin with. So maybe she knew, on some level, her own soul would want to look good on either side of the lens. "Oh, he is a fancy little boy, isn't he?"

"He's spoiled," Evelynn muttered, stroking a hand over his massive, radar-dish ears. "What about him?" Evelynn's eyes flitted down to Eopsin, the world's most unique bracelet. 

"Her," Ahri said with a little sting of betrayal. She wasn't sure how to interpret the fox being male, if it meant anything at all. Eopsin unfolded and coiled up in the palm of her hands when she stepped forward, offering her to Evelynn. "Her name is Eopsin."

"I don't know much about snakes," Evelynn admitted. "I can only imagine what she says about me."

"Well they're not real animals, are they? They're symbols."

"They're still real."

With that in mind, Ahri did her best to try and reassess Evelynn. All those severe lines on her outfit and makeup definitely sent a message, one that she received loud and clear. But looking deeper than that, muscling past her initial intimidation, she saw less high impact and more high drama. Like the time she checked her purse only to find Eopsin's eyes clouded over with molt despite definitely not needing to do such a thing, as a soul-marked creation. 

Ahri rubbed a thumb over Eopsin's head. Maybe it was less about being shy and more about not wanting to be seen. A subtle, but important, distinction.

"So." Evelynn smoothed back into her calm, commanding demeanor. "Let's try this again, but with more preparation. I'll arrange dinner for us next Friday? I'd like to get to know you personally before our families meet. I assume this is acceptable?"

"I—" Before Ahri could stop herself, because she was so used to being honest with her family and her friends, she said it, right to her soul mate. "I have a date that Friday."

Immediate shame washed over her, unfamiliar and cold. This was her chance to make a good first impression. Instead she'd made it clear how little she prioritized this, this thing they shared.

For her part, Evelynn remained unfazed. Maybe she'd clocked Ahri as an irresponsible whore right upon meeting. "You have a girlfriend? Sorry, or a boyfriend?"

"No, just a date." Quickly, she added. "I can cancel. I will cancel."

"Why?" Evelynn asked. She didn't sound upset.

Stumped, Ahri stared at her, waiting for the punchline. "They aren't my soul mate."

"We met only an hour ago. You had your date planned for longer. It would be unreasonable of me to expect you to shuffle your whole life around on a dime for my sake." 

That would be the romantic thing to do, though, wouldn't it? The grand gesture? This would be the time to trust in the universe and throw herself into the arms of a complete stranger. All she had to do was trust in that gut feeling, the instant Knowing of seeing Evelynn's eyes, the ones that matched the snake in her hands.

"It— um— I—" 

Where to begin? She still wasn't even sure Evelynn knew she was trans. Now they were talking about a first date. And what about after that? Meeting families? Marriage? Was marriage something she wanted? Evelynn seemed like the wife type. Every other word out of her mouth was family family family so she probably wanted children, too, perfect kids with two artsy mothers. 

That actually didn't sound so bad.

Ahri was startled out of her thoughts when Evelynn touched her for the first time. Moving closer, she caressed the side of Ahri's skull, palm warm and soothing. 

No lightning. No thunder. Instead, the panicked thoughts went quiet.

"I have no interest in caging you Ahri," Evelynn said, gazing at her like she'd never seen anything like her before. Awed, but with muted sadness too.

Like she'd never see anything like her again. 

"You owe me absolutely nothing. Least of all a leash on your freedom."

"What do you," Ahri went back to a tested and true favorite, "Expect from this?"

Still giving her the impression of someone hopelessly lost, Evelynn couldn't answer at first. She came to in pieces, breaking free of her reverie with obvious struggle and alarm. When she was back in control of herself, Evelynn was trembling faintly. 

"I... I don't know," she said in between gulps of air. "I keep thinking I should be more frightened than I am. Is that normal?"

If only Ahri had the answer. On some level it was funny. Evelynn had been so calmly trying to schedule this all and proceed as if this were a business transaction, but the second she touched Ahri it was like all their thoughts went right out the window, and the harder she fought it the worse the shakes got. 

"I've never felt like this before. About a—" Evelynn inhaled sharply, trembling. "A-anyone."

Unexpected pity blossomed in her. All she could see in front of her was careful Eopsin, curled up at the bottom of her bag, peeking up at her for reassurance. It was exactly like when the snake wrapped around Ahri tight enough to cut circulation, as if she'd get lost or dropped. Sometimes tight enough to hurt, but letting her go when she needed it. Like last night.

Ahri held out her hand. "I'm sorry that you're feeling this way about me. You seem like, really cool, and I'm kind of a basic college co-ed." 

Baleful, Evelynn stared at the offered hand like it might shock her. "What do you study? Sorry, photography. Of course." When they held hands, she calmed down at once, that haunted expression leaving her eyes. In a rush, she exhaled, "Oh god, it's quiet around you."

"What is?"

"Everything."

There was still so much happening, and it felt like they didn't have enough time to go over it all. "I didn't think I'd bump into my soulmate this soon."

"Sorry to disappoint you," Evelynn said.

"You haven't yet." Thankfully that made Evelynn smile. 

This isn't easy for her, she realized with sudden clarity. Stronger than any instinct she'd ever had before was the instinct to take care of this strange woman, who seemed so strong and so fragile, and so sure and so confused. Can't I make this easy for her?

So Ahri brought her knuckles up to her mouth and kissed Evelynn's hand, thrilled in the full-body shudder it sparked. "Let's meet again Friday and then we can talk about what our next steps are?"

Evelynn slumped, relieved. "Oh, right. Yes. Friday. Please."

They both clearly needed some space to digest this. She squeezed her hand again. "Eve, I've only known your soul for a short while, but I can clearly see you're a wonderful woman. So don't be afraid, okay?"

After reassuring each other that they were going to work together through this strange new time in their lives, Ahri reminded Evelynn that they had each other's numbers and emails and could talk more throughout the week. This first meeting had been a doozy, but time would help smooth this over.

Somehow, on wobbling feet, Ahri made it back outside. The second she got a hit of fresh air she sucked in a huge breath, light-headed. 

I almost pounced on her right on her desk, she thought dizzily. If anything would have made this more complicated, it would be fucking each other before they even knew anything else about each other.

Her phone buzzed three times. One rambling message was from Evelynn, which she opened immediately.

Hi. I can't wait for Friday. You're so beautiful. Should I have opened with that? I'm new to this. New new new. I'm suddenly ferociously wishing I had practiced flirting. Now when I need it I can only gape like a fish.

You seemed fine to me. Ahri texted her back with a smile. We'll get some practice in this week.

Then she checked the other messages from— Sarah. It showed her a picture of Sarah putting the key in its place. It also showed her a picture of Sarah stealing a snack from her fridge. 

Ahri groaned, then yanked the bandage off as hard as she could. I ran into my soul mate today.

Is that a joke? Sarah surprised her by immediately responding. It usually took a bit longer than that, unless they were coordinating a date. 

NOT A JOKE. REALLY FOR REAL. MY ACTUAL SOUL MATE. I was so terrified she'd see the hickies you left.

As inherently humorous as she found the situation, Ahri still felt a stab of anxiety when the three typing dots took a long time to load.

Relief and outrage warred when Sarah responded, LMAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Don't you laugh! I HAD TO FACE FATE WHILE MY ASS WAS STILL DRIPPING WITH YOUR LUBE.

oh its MY Lube now? it was in your closet. whore.

ARGHHHHHHH, Ahri texted back, even though she was laughing. Honestly, she wanted to thank Sarah for fucking her head straight, because if she'd been sexually frustrated when meeting Evelynn she definitely would have done something stupid. But you know it's over for real now, right? 

Mmm. She could almost hear Sarah's self-assured, cocksure drawl. We'll see if you come crawling back.

 

 

 

---

 

 

How say you? Let us, O my dove,
Let us be unashamed of soul,
As earth lies bare to heaven above!
How is it under our control
To love or not to love?

—Robert Browning

Notes:

tracklist

"Sara Smile" by Joan Osborne
"flowers and sex" by EMELINE, smle
"Do It For Me" by rosenfeld

Chapter 4

Kai'sa woke up every morning in paradise. No other word could encompass it. Or even begin to describe it. Ever since Skaduwee ran off, her life changed. By chance, her fox dropped Kai'sa into the pattern of fate's loom. Ever since then, no need went unmet. No desire unfulfilled. No fear not soothed.

Taking less projects for work felt like a crime. But as everyone kept pointing out, she was grinding herself down to the bone without much to show for it anymore. And with three— three — soulmates living with her, they handily provided for each other. Evelynn in particular seemed keen on letting Kai'sa live out her dreams as a house-spouse. Maybe finally getting into painting like she always wanted.

Kai'sa had so much freedom that she didn't know if it was allowed. She didn't even know what to do with herself. But she took the first step into accepting it, by firmly insisting that she would take the week off after finishing her latest project. Still she woke up early because she liked the quiet, warm greeting of the dawn. 

Anxiously, she tapped fingertips together, watching the sun rise. 

But, like, just because she had a bunch of rich successful girlfriends scrambling over each other to take care of her didn't mean she lazed around, did it? No! She still contributed to this household in her ways. She still shared all her income with them, and it wasn't a small amount. She lived by herself for years, after all, hadn't she? Took care of herself? Took care of herself, alone. 

Now, they shared everything. 

Something slithered over her bare feet, but Kai'sa didn't bother to look. She knew nothing would be there.

Slight Correction: One thing she didn't share with the others was that she still sensed the soulmarks when no one else seemed to. After they settled into the new house, the animals vanished… for everyone else.

It wasn't easy to describe. They weren't in this physical space, no. Not a passel of animals crowding into the house. But still Kai'sa brushed up against dense fur or warm scales every which way she turned. Even if her body only touched air.

It was like she had two bodies, two sets of skin. Separate, but linked. One feeling, one seeing. One here, one there— wherever there was. 

So when Ahri stormed into the common area, Kai'sa swore she could see an angrily fluffed tail jutting up mid-thigh. Ears and lips pulled back, snarling and pursued by a corn snake.

"Look!" Ahri said, pointing at herself. "Look! Do you see how I'm walking away right now? Do you think the walking away means like, 'oh please, follow me!' ?"

"I don't care what it means," Evelynn snapped back, prowling close at her metaphorical/literal tail. "You can't keep ignoring me. It's immature."

"Yet here I am!"

"Ahri."

"Stop it." Ahri halted in her tracks, one hand up to keep Evelynn at a distance. "Just let me cool down, okay? I want to talk. I don't want to argue."

"That's bullshit." Evelynn spoke without inflection, but Kai'sa flinched anyway. "Every time I try to bring it up you come up with some reason to brush it off. You've done it one too many times, so now I'm not letting you leave until we talk about it."

Personally Kai'sa thought the snake had a lot of gumption to chase a fox when the fox was trying to cede ground and retreat. They tangled in the underbrush, the fox's teeth coming together in hard snaps. 

"You're not letting me?" Ahri bristled up like a furious broom. "Right! Fuck what Ahri thinks or what Ahri wants, let's only care about getting what Evelynn wants right the very fucking instant she wants it?"

"That's not what I said."

Kai'sa decided it was time to step in. 

"Hey."

A firm, densely muscled forelimb clapped down. The hoof of something much bigger snapped in between the fox and the snake, forcing them both to scramble backwards. 

Kai'sa didn't like raising her voice but they were both squabbling too loud to be heard otherwise. "Both of you need to relax."

It was like throwing water on a grease fire. Unsure who to be more angry at, Ahri and Evelynn both whirled on Kai'sa. But then Ahri thought better of it, turned on her heel, and marched towards the front door. 

Concerned, Evelynn stopped glaring at Kai'sa long enough to chase her. "Wait."

"Why are you still following me?" Ahri wound a bright pink scarf around her neck, shrugging on a coat. She jammed her feet into her boots at the entryway, missing several times and not bothering to lace them up. "Do you want to fight more?"

Evelynn grabbed her by the wrist. "Ahri."

"Don't touch me!"

Evelynn let her go. She called out after her as Ahri snatched her keys and stormed out the front door.  "Ahri!"

The door slammed in her face.

Both palms rubbed over her eyes, exhausted.

"Well that could have gone... worse," Kai'sa said, because she was desperately curious about what the hell happened but also knew pressing right now wasn't the best idea.

Evelynn stared venomously at the ground, still fuming. Her empty hands flexed and gripped.

"I'm going upstairs," Evelynn said, tensely. That was her way of saying she wanted to go to the roof, which was probably not the warmest or the safest place to be during this time of year. 

It was still Evelynn's favorite spot in the house. Kai'sa often found her and Akali cuddled up out there after Akali came home from a late night at work. The new house was a slightly longer commute, but Akali never complained about moving in. 

Kai'sa wished Akali was home this morning, because playing mediator always went better when they fought through it as a team.

But for now... Well, if Ahri and Evelynn wanted to be left alone, then she'd leave them alone.

A set of short stairs put her in the basement. Affectionately dubbed the Rec Room by Akali (after she'd hung all her guitars and stashed all of Kai'sa's painting supplies inside it) the space was perfect for Kai'sa's renewed attempts at relaxing. 

"Okay pals, let's get started."

A soft-voiced narrator coached her viewers through a painting, stroke by stroke. Every week PaintWithMe uploaded a new video. Every other week she encouraged her viewers to upload their own original paintings and to compliment each other. It wasn't a popular show by any means, but that was ideal. It meant the community was small, and everyone knew each other, and Kai'sa got a few new friends from all over the world.

"I took this picture at my day job. I thought it would be fun to recreate it in a painting. What a beautiful sunset, right?"

Sprawling green hills and a sea of reds and yellows and purples, fit for an artist's easel. Not for the first time, Kai'sa wondered what PaintWithMe did for her day job, because she always had the most spectacular views to work with. A set of sensibly manicured hands blended paints and a low voice chatted soothingly, distracting Kai'sa.

Unfortunately PWM was located in America. Kai'sa used to always be awake during an hour where it was feasible to watch the livestreams. But now that Ahri bullied her into a normal sleeping pattern, she had to watch the recordings. It was still something to look forward to every week, but Kai'sa missed her friends in chat.

When she finished watching the new episode and a few hours had passed, Kai'sa went upstairs to see if Evelynn was still sulking on the roof deck. With her biggest jacket folded over one arm, Kai'sa blinked at the sudden rush of light as she opened the door and went out into the cold winter air.

Evelynn was a tall, stark, stern figure, slashing through the freshly fallen snow like a black knife. Arms crossed, she looked out at the roads towards the city. 

"Eve?" she said her name like a question. Walking closer to stand behind her, she draped the coat over Evelynn's shoulders. She smiled fondly at how Evelynn studiously avoided looking into her eyes. "I'm going to make some tea for us." 

Ahri needed structure, Akali needed to know she was valued, and Evelynn needed to be taken care of. And getting any of them to admit it was like pulling teeth.

"That's very sweet of you," Evelynn said in her low, purring voice. Kai'sa pushed aside her asymmetrical bob and bent down to kiss the back of her neck. Evelynn wasn't even shivering.

"I'm so cold." Kai'sa complained, kissing her neck again before squeezing her arms around Evelynn's waist. "I need you to come with me so I can keep warm."

Shifting slightly in her arms, Evelynn finally peered up at her. A snake coiled around her shoulders, flat head turning to face Kai'sa as well. Her smile amused, tone chiding. "I know what you're doing."

"Well I'm not being very subtle," Kai'sa agreed. She snuggled her nose into the crook of Evelynn's shoulder. 

Eventually she coaxed Evelynn inside, and made tea with her, and then wrapped her in the largest softest blanket she owned and demanded to snuggle for an hour as they watched that silly new Regency romance show. Kai'sa kept her head propped on top of Evelynn's, rubbing her palms all over her stomach, and then down the front of her tight black leggings.

"Your hands are freezing." Evelynn shifted a little, not bothered by this development.

"That's why you're helping me." Kai'sa lipped at her ear. "It's so nice and hot, right here."

Talking became increasingly difficult. Evelynn squirmed. "Well if that's... the only reason."

It was Evelynn's day off, too. So they didn't have to worry about going anywhere, and Kai'sa gave her a quick orgasm. It was a cheap way to relieve some stress and a good excuse to hold onto her tight. She grumbled and growled and held on tighter when Evelynn tried to return the favor, biting her until she settled down and let herself be a little spoon.

"You don't have to fuck me every time you want to cuddle," Evelynn said, sounding amused.

"Of course I don't. But I wanted to fuck you and I wanted to cuddle." Kai'sa kissed her shoulder, pulling the blanket higher over their bodies. "Aren't you always telling me I should get everything I want?"

"That's a fair point."

Later, around mid-afternoon, Kai'sa's ears perked up to hear the familiar rumble of a motorcycle. But Akali couldn't have quit work so early. Sure enough, when Kai'sa peeked out the front window, she saw Ahri standing with her hands behind her back, idly chattering with a stranger. Long red hair spilled out from under the stranger's dark helmet, the reflective shield giving out a funhouse mirror view of the world outside. 

The helmeted head turned towards the window. After spotting Kai'sa, the rider gave a peace sign before revving up and charging off. Ahri waved behind them until they were out of sight.

"...Of course," Evelynn said, so darkly it prompted Kai'sa's attention. By then she had released Evelynn from the confines of her cuddle prison, and Evelynn was idly tapping away on her laptop.

"What?"

"Nothing. I should probably retreat to my office."

It was a real shame to see Kai'sa's hard work from this morning disappear in the span of two minutes. But at least now Kai'sa had a better understanding of what was going on. "Don't."

Evelynn looked up at her, then down at the laptop perched on her knees.

She said, "Fine."

The door rushed open in a surge of frost and biting cold. Shivering and dancing in place, Ahri kicked off her shoes and unwound her scarf from her face. Only pausing briefly when she noticed Evelynn still around, she spoke to the air. "I'm back!"

"Welcome home," Kai'sa said. 

"Did you have fun?" Evelynn said, casually.

"I did," Ahri said after a beat. "Sett's getting so many more fights now."

"Oh!" Kai'sa smiled when Ahri yanked off all her outerwear. Her soulmate made a beeline for the couch, burrowing into the blankets and curling up on Kai'sa's lap. At their feet, the bright red fox Kimchi shook herself like a dog, splattering snow all over. "Is that where you went?"

Ahri spoke into Kai'sa's chest, nose sharp and cold against her skin. "It was just practice today. I got us all tickets for next weekend's show if you're interested."

"Nice," Evelynn said. "I like Sett."

Ahri twisted her head to look at Evelynn reproachfully. 

"I don't dislike Sett," Evelynn corrected herself. 

While Ahri defrosted, she told her soulmates all about her day out. Kai'sa couldn't help but notice the glaring omission of how she left the house and how she returned— and who she returned with. This seemed to be the source of Evelynn's tension. Kai'sa nervously wondered how she could bring this up without accidentally triggering a huge fight again. She also did not appreciate being kept in the dark. 

Complaining of the cold and being around a bunch of sweaty wrestlers, Ahri flounced upstairs to go take a hot shower.

The minute they heard water running through the pipes, Evelynn spat. "Fucking Sett. Of course she was with him."

"What?" Startled, Kai'sa held her blankets up higher. She combed through her memories, trying to discern whether Sett had done anything worth Evelynn's ire recently. "I thought we liked Sett. Or… didn't dislike him." 

As if she hadn't heard, Evelynn ranted on. "It's always, oh, isn't it amazing, Sett's agent got him into such-and-such, and Sett's agent was doing this with so-and-so. So what if he was touring in America? I could get us all tickets to visit America tomorrow if I wanted."

"...You're not mad about Sett," Kai'sa accurately divined. 

"Her ex-girlfriend is his agent," Evelynn hissed. Kai'sa would have been more reproachful about her attitude, but it was bewildering to see Evelynn this bent out of shape. "If I try to forbid Ahri from seeing her—"

"That's an easy way to lose your wife."

"But every time Ahri says her name I—" Sitting forward, Evelynn rubbed her forehead. Still upset, but losing more and more coherence as she went on. "So obviously we can't talk about it, Ahri was right about that— so then Ahri is in this position where she has to find ways to tell me she's hanging around her ex without actually telling me she's hanging around her ex, so that she isn't sneaking behind my back but also doesn't have to talk about it. And that isn't fair to Ahri, and I don't want to be a tyrant—" Then she doubled down. "But I'm right. That person is scum. She doesn't even deserve to breathe the same air as Ahri, she shouldn't be around her, I'll fucking kill that stupid tall red-headed bitch if I hear her stupid fucking name again."

After digesting that, Kai'sa said, "I also wouldn't want to talk to you if that's the kind of stuff you're saying."

"Yes Kai'sa," Evelynn said, clipped. "I realize that. I also don't want me to be doing what I'm doing."

And Kai'sa would have let it be, then, but for the way all three snakes piled up on her lap. Pickle, Hunter, and Eopsin stared directly into her face, with their big sad eyes, black and yellow and candy-pink.

And Evelynn, too, staring at her pleadingly for the help she couldn't ask for out loud.

"Go talk to your wife," Kai'sa said.

Evelynn shrank back, not expecting that. 

"...Right now?"

"Today," Kai'sa said, calmly. "Keep your temper in check; you're an adult. If you can't be nice about it, you're going to hear it from me and Akali both. And if Ahri tries to run off again, she'll hear a few choice words from me as well."

With that, Kai'sa opened up her phone and started scrolling twitter, signaling that this conversation was over. 

While Evelynn didn't sulk— she was far too put-together for that— a cloud hung low over her head until Kai'sa gave her a little more encouragement.

"Remember. You're not trying to win. You're both on the same side. Okay?"

Pickle whipped onto Kai'sa's face, clutching onto her head for dear life.

"Fine," Evelynn said after a moment. 

Then, steeling herself, she got to her feet and rushed upstairs, probably so she couldn't lose her nerve. 

 

 

Attempting to relax proved more difficult than anticipated. After braving the weather to go to her yoga class, Kai'sa returned to a suspiciously quiet home. Silent darkness permeated every inhabitable space– except a faint glow in the kitchen, and the muted rasp of steel kissing stone. Kai'sa felt something heavy and wet in her pocket, and didn't need to reach inside to know it was an African bullfrog.

Inside the kitchen, Akali was standing slumped against the counter, sharpening her knives and staring into space.

Passing one knife over the whetstone over and over, Akali's dull eyes couldn't focus until Kai'sa spoke. "Hey, babe."

A little light returned to Akali, the interruption to her fugue state more than welcome. Meticulously finishing her work, Akali cleaned the knives and started organizing their already-spotless kitchen. It was her refuge, her kingdom, and part of her ritual every night was to open all the cupboards and fridge and 'take inventory'. 

"Welcome home," Akali said. Then, "It was a long day."

"Same here. Tell me all about it."

Akali usually skipped breakfast in the morning and munched on the job, but today she had skipped eating entirely, and that simply wouldn't do. It was an expression of trust that she just sat at the table and rested her forehead on the wood and let Kai'sa cook without any commentary.

"Nothing really bad happened," Akali said.

"But you were on your feet all day. Poor baby."

"Mhm." Akali groaned when Kai'sa pulled her ponytail free, giving her scalp a quick rub. "Did you do anything nice on your first day of vacation, KK?"

Two animals careened into the kitchen— vixen and serpent, of course— both of them scrabbling wildly and biting each other. Though Kai'sa didn't spot any blood, a lot of yelping and hissing distracted her enough that she needed some time to answer. 

After spotting another scuffle between a snake and a fox in the living area, Kai'sa told Akali about the situation with their soulmates. She shifted from foot to foot, avoiding it when the two animals passed by her in a cloud of flying fur and scales. It was Hunter this time, her lovely black-and-white python, and Kuho. "Did you know anything about that?"

"Sorta," Akali said. A snake flew past her head, hurtling inches from her face. Of course Akali didn't flinch; she didn't notice. No one saw the animals anymore except Kai'sa. Then they vanished into thin air, and Kai'sa couldn't see them anymore, either. "I had bad dreams last night, too. I was a rabbit and—"

"You kicked the shit out of anybody who got close?" Kai'sa said.

Akali blinked, returning to reality. "Wait, how did you know?"

"Because you kicked me in the pussy four times in a row." Not literally. It was her stomach. But that wasn't as funny as saying pussy and she told Akali as much, and Akali howled with laughter. 

"That's what they called me in culinary school— CUNT KICKER."

Less distant and distracted, Akali explained her nightmare in a little more detail. It was less about being a rabbit and more about being cornered, powerless, and small. Kai'sa could relate. Her nightmares were all about being stuck in dark places, too. 

Skaduwee hopped on the counter, strutting with his tail erect and his nose high, brushing past Kai'sa haughtily. Eopsin clung to his left hind leg, squeezing him for all she was worth. 

"I had no idea Evelynn was so insecure," Kai'sa said, returning to the subject of the red-headed ex-girlfriend. "But, I mean. We're soulmates."

"So?" Akali said.

"So?" Kai'sa said in turn, taken aback.

Akali hummed in thought, serving herself a bowl of the stir-fry Kai'sa had whipped together from leftovers. "It makes sense."

"In what way?"

"Well, didn't it make you angry that she hung out with Sarah without telling you?"

"Not really," Kai'sa said, mentally jotting down: her name is Sarah. Then, How did Akali know, but not me? And then that lit up a flare of anger, and hurt, that she tried to suppress. "There wasn't a chance to talk this morning. Ahri would have told me eventually, if Eve hadn't."

"But she didn't," Akali said.

A sudden flurry of movement grabbed Kai'sa's attention. Skaduwee had Eopsin pinned down between two paws, her belly up and exposed to his teeth. He nipped her, gently, then his long, flat tongue scraped up the entire length of her tiny body in a way that felt distinctly inappropriate. 

"Oh, jeez." She shaded her eyes, looking away. "I don't think they're fighting anymore."

Akali smirked. She often noticed how Kai'sa knew things before everyone else did. "Your sixth sense?" 

"If that's what you want to call it." 

"I hope they're not fucking to get out of talking," Akali said. "Though maybe they just called for a half-time break?"

"In any case," Kai'sa said, "It'll be fine. We're soulmates."

"So?" Akali said again.

"So?" Kai'sa said, sharper now. "A little trust is not too unreasonable to ask for."

"Of course, but, like, it doesn't really mean anything, does it?" 

When Akali didn't get an answer, she started eating. 

Kai'sa asked, "What do you mean it doesn't mean anything?" 

Maybe realizing she was already in hot water, Akali hedged, "In this context, being soulmates doesn't change anything."

"Why would being soulmates not mean anything?"

Akali set her spoon down. "Come on. We can't be fighting too."

"We're not fighting," Kai'sa said hotly. "You said a really fucked up thing for no reason and now you're backpedalling."

"I'm just saying I get it." Not accustomed to being challenged, Akali hit her back. "Not everybody is happy to get a soulmark. It's insulting to say we're soulmates as though that fixes everything. It's not always that simple!"

It was difficult to respond to that. Kai'sa was shaking, struggling to remember her own advice, how they were on the same side and that she trusted them. But Akali had somehow hit her right where she was most vulnerable. Maybe she came across as naive sometimes, maybe she never once questioned anything about this. Maybe she was too sexual. Maybe she was a little too quick to try and find the silver-lining, but she had fought hard to be that kind of person when she had been in such a dark place for so long. 

And she was happy. Weren't they all?

"Why," Kai'sa strained, "Why would you say that?"

"Why can't you spare a shred of empathy for—" That hot, confrontational edge to Akali's evergreen stubbornness faltered. Burger landed on top of her head, and Akali awkwardly rubbed her scalp right next to him, where her too-tight ponytail had been held up all day. "Shit, Kai'sa, I dunno. I just can't pretend I don't feel how I feel."

"It smells really good in here!"

Both of them twitched to see Ahri prancing into the kitchen. Kuho trotted at her heels, the quick patter of his dainty feet like a royal procession. Helping herself to some of the stir-fry, Ahri moaned quietly at the first bite. 

"Eve's asleep," Ahri said, though nobody asked. She did a double take at the hour on the clock. "Whoa, it's late. You two ought to be in bed too. Do you wanna—?"

"I need some space." Kai'sa collected her plate and left, unable to look at either of them for a second longer.

She went to her room and locked the door before sliding down to sit with her back pressed to it. That's when she let herself cry into her knees, one arm wrapped tight around her head. It took an embarrassing amount of time to calm down long enough to do anything else. 

Even though she had taken the plate, she wasn't hungry at all. She set it down on her desk and flopped into bed. Scrolling through her phone, she plugged her earphones in and scrolled for white noise or music. Nothing was hitting the right spot. 

Finally she went back to PaintWithMe. Normally Kai'sa only watched content where PWM was, well, painting. But she streamed video games sometimes too. She was live at that very moment. Kai'sa took it as a sign and hit play.

"—little hard when I travel so much," PWM was saying in response to something in chat. "I lean into it with my hippie van and whatever, but I still need an address for bills and mail, I guess." 

Forming a kingdom of cushions and pillows around her, Kai'sa settled into bed.

"Yeah, um, it's been so long since I got any action I actually felt a little excited when my Sim started to woohoo," PaintWithMe said, her obnoxiously loud mouse clicking away. "I might change her aspiration from being an artist to being a slut."

Kai'sa snorted. Watching and listening but not commenting, she fell asleep to the sound of a stranger casually joking and chatting with the regulars.

 

 

 

By habit she got up at the crack of dawn again. She wished she wasn't on vacation; Kai'sa would have given anything for an excuse to avoid everyone. Unfortunately, the first person Kai'sa met that morning was Akali. In the kitchen, whisking together eggs and miso and chopped green onions and then pouring it on a hot griddle, whistling the whole while. 

"Good morning," Kai'sa said.

"Mm-mm." Akali disagreed. "Not until you've had breakfast. Sit."

Off-center, Kai'sa sat on instinct. Akali had that influence over her— she was accustomed to giving orders. 

Speaking of.

"Don't you have work?" Kai'sa asked into the silence.

"It's Monday," Akali said, looking at Kai'sa over her shoulder as she flipped the omelet. Saturdays and Sundays were prime restaurant hours, so her 'weekends' were shifted over by two days.

"It is?"

"Yes, babe. You've just started your vacation and you're already forgetting days of the week?"

Well, she had also spent a good amount of time crying in her room like a little bitch. That sort of thing tended to throw her back into the gloom of depression where time didn't mean anything, but she wasn't going to admit it. She also wasn't going to admit to Evelynn that she herself couldn't follow the very basic advice she'd doled out so smugly the day before. 

Once the eggs were cooked Akali scooped half into a bowl, plus a fluffy spoonful of rice, and set it in front of Kai'sa. Sitting across from her with a mug of coffee in hand, Akali watched in satisfaction as she ate the whole thing. 

In the light of day— after sleeping on it, and with a full stomach, and under the adoring gaze of her soulmate— Kai'sa began to feel increasingly unfair and silly.

"I'm sorry for freaking out at you last night."

Akali didn't acknowledge it right away. Sipped deep from her cup, instead. Then traced her fingers around the rim.

"My life got really complicated really fast," Akali said, her shoulders tensed up to her ears. "But I'm not unhappy. Okay?"

Kai'sa spoke quietly. "Okay." 

 

 

The next weekend— actual weekend— arrived quickly. Even though Akali couldn't come, she was there in spirit and in many text messages. Ahri held onto Evelynn's hand, happily swinging it as they walked into the venue. Their seats were good, or so Kai'sa assumed. She didn't really know how wrestling worked. Soon they were watching oiled-up people spank and whip each other and everybody had to pretend it wasn't a sex thing.

"Oh my gosh!" Ahri full-body flinched when Sett did a whirlwind-esque backflip onto another person's unprotected spine. She clung to Evelynn's arm, tugging and shaking her. "Evelynn, look! You're not looking."

"I'm looking," Evelynn said, eyes glued to her phone while the wrestlers wrestled. 

"No you're not!"

After her phone got confiscated, Evelynn settled down with her head on Kai'sa's shoulder and watched the whole performance without commentary. She got into it by the end, though. Kai'sa could tell.

Afterwards they got to go backstage and Sett bounded up to them, grabbing Ahri in a big sweaty hug.

"Ahri! We did it!"

"That was amazing!" She squished his face between her palms. "You two finally nailed the triple spin move!"

"We must have practiced a thousand times."

"Ten thousand times."

Gripping each other by the forearms and chattering a million words a minute, Sett and Ahri forgot to include anybody else in their own little world. 

Until Sarah arrived.

Nobody needed to point her out. When she looked up and over her shoulder, she spotted her at once. Long red hair gave her away. But even if it didn't, Kai'sa could feel her, feel her like she felt the soulmarks sometimes. 

When Sarah smoothly introduced herself, Kai'sa's spine went a little stiffer, and beside her she could feel Evelynn bristling much the same way. 

There was something linking Sarah to Ahri. 

Something that rhymed with— or at least was close to— their own soulmate bond. Again Kai'sa felt very foolish. Evelynn might have had a reason to be suspicious after all, she merely lacked the words to describe it.

"How have we only just met?" Kai'sa asked. 

"Because Sarah is Ahri's second-favorite redhead," Sett smugly informed Kai'sa.

Sarah grinned. "Yet you're both tied for my favorite pretty little princess!"

As if in slow-motion, Kai'sa saw it happen. Sarah swatted Sett on the butt. When she passed Ahri she wound up exaggeratedly, angling to give her the same treatment. The second she let loose, though, Eve's hand whipped out and grabbed her by the wrist.

There was a moment of struggle. Sarah tried to twitch away, but Evelynn had her tight as a steel trap and was staring her down. 

"You've got a lot of fucking nerve," Evelynn said.

Sarah bared her teeth in a tight and angry smile. "Weird! I was just about to say the same thing to you!"

"Evelynn." Ahri had the tips of her fingers pressed over her lips, eyes darting from one woman to the other. "It's— don't—"

No doubt realizing she was the one who'd initiated a physical confrontation here, Evelynn let Sarah go. Her fingers still curved in a claw, like she wanted to dig right back in.

Rubbing her wrist, Sarah rolled her shoulders and smiled, her mouth crooked with smug amusement. "There's no need to be jealous! I'll spank you too, Eve." 

To Ahri, she said, "God, you're lucky someone loves you that much."

Still nervous, but trying to giggle through it since Sarah seemed willing to let it go, Ahri said, "That's what Eve tells me every day."

"It's so hot. Sorry to provoke you, babygirl, but I love it when you get mean."

Evelynn leaned away from Sarah, taken aback. Then she pulled her weight off her heels to ground herself again, mouth a thin line. She couldn't decide who to frown at, Ahri or Sarah, so she settled for frowning in their general direction. 

"So did you all enjoy the show?" Sarah asked the group, already over it. "Sett's great, isn't he? I'm eternally grateful to the other princess here for introducing us."

"You're great too, Sarah." Sett excitedly said, "She got me into a movie!"

"Into an audition for a movie," Sarah said.

"That's more than my last agent did. Are we still on for dinner?"

Sarah lifted her arm to check an obnoxiously large watch. "Only if you shower and get ready in time."

Sett hugged Ahri again, excused himself to everyone else, and ran off. 

"Sorry for hogging him, and for leaving so soon," Sarah said. "But I promised a reward if he behaved."

"You know how to keep all your clients in line, don't you?" Evelynn said.

"Everybody needs a special touch," Sarah agreed easily. 

So Kai'sa's first meeting with Sarah came and went without too much fanfare. Still, she had a lot to think about on the drive home. She sat in the backseat because she wanted room to stretch out her legs, and to gaze into the street lamps whipping past.

"I'm sorry," Ahri said from the passenger seat. 

"You didn't do anything wrong." Evelynn reached over and gripped her thigh, squeezing it once. "Sarah was just being Sarah. I fell for the bait."

Ahri turned around in her seat to address Kai'sa. "Would you believe me if I said she's usually much better behaved?" Ahri fiddled with her bottle-blonde hair. "She's always been disappointed that Evelynn didn't like her."

"Oh?" Evelynn asked, gaze straight ahead. But none of them had anything more to say about that, and the subject dropped into a long but not uncomfortable silence.

After pulling up in front of their house, Akali was waiting for them inside. They all shed their boots and scarves and jackets and shook off the snow. Meanwhile their spouse zipped between them all, delivering greetings. 

"Heyyy!" Akali said, kissing Kai'sa twice on the lips. 

The four of them collapsed onto the couches, too tired to move. They shared the evening's happenings with Akali, including Sarah goading Evelynn. 

"So what did you mean?" Evelynn asked. She stroked her fingers through Akali's hair, cuddling with the other woman's head on her lap. "About Sarah being disappointed."

"I got Eopsin while I was dating Sarah," Ahri explained. "And Eopsin liked her, so we figured you would too."

"Sorry to disappoint." Evelynn spared Ahri a little smirk. "I don't like anyone."

"Liar!" Kai'sa, Akali, and Ahri said at the same time, except Akali added, "You are soooo full of shit!"

The vibe in the room mellowed out as the hour grew later. With half of them mostly undressed and all of them fuzzy with exhaustion, there was a definite sleepover energy. Kai'sa enjoyed it a lot. It had been a while since the four of them sat around and chatted like this.

Ahri went on, "You know, despite it all, I'm still really grateful for her friendship. When she isn't being a total ass, Sarah is very sweet and loyal."

"I promised not to blow up at the mention of her name anymore," Evelynn said. Her grip on Akali's hair tightened fractionally, until she complained and wiggled. "I never said you could praise her so much in front of me."

"Okay, but she primed me for you. You know that, right? Being with Sarah helped me find you, Evelynn, I've always thought that. When you came along, I knew you were the one— that's why she'll always be so important to me."

"You'd think the soul mark would have primed you," Evelynn said. 

Akali added, "Well, the soul marks don't really mean— oh, Kai'sa don't start. You know that's not what I'm trying to say."

"What are you trying to say?" Kai'sa challenged her. Gently, of course. Semi-gently. Okay, still a little bitter.

Akali lifted her hands for peace. "Maybe I'm just wrong, all right? You and Ahri, maybe you see something about it that I don't."

"We definitely do." Kai'sa spoke firmly. She couldn't help but notice the unintentional divide in how they were sitting— Akali and Evelynn squadded up in their corner, and herself with Ahri across the low centerpiece table. 

Did either of them understand, really understand, how good they all had it?

"I've never been with anybody except you, okay?" Akali said softly. "Maybe I should have. I dunno."

"Don't say that," Ahri said. "We love you exactly how you are."

Akali twisted onto her side to face them. "It's not that it doesn't mean anything." 

"It's just not a guarantee of happiness," Evelynn agreed. "My parents weren't soulmates."

Nothing short of an asteroid landing could have rocked the conversation harder than that admission, given with such false and strained casualness. The impact left its mark, cratering in between Evelynn and everyone else in the room. 

Kai'sa didn't know that. Akali certainly didn't. But judging by how she stared at Evelynn, pale and bloodless, Ahri didn't even know. 

"My mom lost her mind," Akali said, encouraged by Evelynn's admission. She turned to her other side, hiding in Evelynn's lap, tracing patterns into Evelynn's stomach with her fingertips. "After her soulmate died she completely lost it. It didn't matter that he was my dad. I didn't matter."

Evelynn pulled a tissue from the box on the table, gently wiping at Akali's face until she complained that she wasn't a baby. Akali loudly blew into it, mopping up more tears before they could fall.

"This soulmate nonsense is never as simple as it seems on the surface," Evelynn concluded, petting a hand between Akali's hunched shoulders.

"But I met your mom—" Ahri started, still stuck on what Evelynn told her.

"The woman who raised me and the person who gave birth to me are two different people." Evelynn staked the end of that sentence so hard, marking it so clearly as a subject not suitable for further discussion, that nobody else had any followup questions. 

Akali looked up at her, squeezing her hand tight.

The next time Kai'sa blinked, she saw the two of them with her second set of eyes. They were covered in animals. All of the foxes and snakes and deer and Burger squished as close to the two women as they could get. Desperately trying to offer comfort or connection, but neither of them could feel it or see it. 

It would have been easy to imagine Evelynn was jaded or angry, or disillusioned. 

But Kai'sa saw so clearly that she was afraid, so afraid, same as Akali. 

Evelynn, who knew everything hidden in Kai'sa's heart, about how lonely she had been without them, stubbornly looked away when Kai'sa tried to make eye contact. Well, that simply wouldn't do at all. Taking her cue from their soulmarks, Kai'sa moved over to sit on the couch with Akali and Evelynn, draping herself over them and rubbing her fingers deep into Akali's scalp.

What could she do to get it across that she wasn't being naive? She knew the same truth they did, she just chose to hold onto this happiness as tight as she could while it was still in her hands. 

"What we have is fragile," Kai'sa said. She told them in as many words as she could that she wasn't afraid of losing it, but that didn't mean she didn't understand why they were afraid. Ahri came over too, all of them demanding Evelynn snuggle her at the same time, and there was only so much she could stretch in every direction, but she rolled her eyes and did her best. 

They talked about everything, testing this love of theirs, "Like a ship in the shittiest storm. Or whatever."

"My poet," Ahri purred to Akali.

Everyone fell asleep sprawled over the couches or sitting propped up against a knee or a shoulder. Too tired to get up, but not tired enough to want to stop talking. The little box of tissues got well-used, prompting Akali to joke about how nice and soft they were, and how she'd been crying into sub-par material for her whole life. 

 

 

 

 

Sometime in the early morning, Kai'sa got up on instinct. There was a crick in her neck and she had to carefully twist out of Ahri's arms. But her mouth was dry and sour and she needed to move. 

Able to navigate in the dark by memory, she found a cup and curled a finger over the rim to gauge when to turn the faucet off. 

A warm body bumped into her from behind.

"Morning," Evelynn said, mumbling into her back. She rubbed her forehead between Kai'sa's shoulder blades. "Is it Sunday or Monday?"

"It's Sunday."

Evelynn nodded blearily, still half-asleep.

They made small talk, normal little noises and rituals and phrases they bandied about every other morning. Soon Akali would need to wake up for work and Kai'sa intended to have coffee and breakfast ready for her, and then Ahri would probably sleep in. Planning what to do with the rest of her free time, Kai'sa distractedly wondered if she should paint more when the fridge door opened.

Evelynn screamed. 

Flailing, she whipped one arm out. Kai'sa only caught a glimpse of glowing eyes before the mysterious fuzzy shape got slapped across the room. 

"What is that?!" Evelynn said, voice shrill as she hopped back, shaking her hand in disgust. "Oh my god, why was it in our fridge?!"

The little pale shape zipped to and fro, leaping onto the counter. Cups, dishes, and the skillet Kai'sa had gotten out to prepare breakfast, all of it was touched and bombarded through and discarded as the raccoon— raccoon? Oh no — tore through the kitchen. 

It raced past Evelynn into the living room. 

"Yo, what the fuck is that?"

Kai'sa let go of any hope that the other women might somehow sleep through this. 

Ahri let loose an incomprehensible stream of shrieks and confused noises, half-asleep and clinging to Akali when Kai'sa entered the room.

"Help! Oh my god, Kai'sa, help!" Standing on the couch, Ahri stomped her feet in a frightened fit. 

"Baby, please tell me that wasn't a rat."

"It wasn't a rat," Kai'sa said honestly, following the trail of destruction out to the garage. In Evelynn's car, she saw a raccoon with oddly light coloration sitting in the driver's seat.

She saw her soul in the animal's eyes.

Oh no. 

Oh no, no no.

This had to be a joke. After everything? After last night, now this? Staring aghast at the straw yellow raccoon, Kai'sa pressed her palm to the window. Hesitantly, the raccoon did too, looking up at her with mendicant, stupid little eyes.

"How the fuck did it get in my car?" Evelynn demanded.

Ahri poked her head into the garage. Once she ascertained it was safe, she edged closer. Then she leaned down, locking eyes with the raccoon through the glass.

Kai'sa held her breath.

"Oh, she's blonde," Ahri said in soft surprise. 

Surprised, Kai'sa took another look at the raccoon. While not a case of true albinism, the pale pink of her nose and dirty brown stripes made it clear there was some kind of melanin deficiency going on here. 

So, yeah— the raccoon looked like someone left it in the wash with a little too much bleach.

"Can you see it?" Kai'sa asked, under her breath.

"See what?" Ahri's eyes flicked up to Kai'sa. Then they widened. Then she stared at the raccoon harder. 

Next to them, Evelynn rattled the door handle. "Does it have the keys?"

"She, Eve." After a moment, Ahri answered Kai'sa's question. "And no, I can't see my soul in her eyes."

Kai'sa didn't know what to do with the chunk of guilt in her stomach weighing her down. It never felt like this before— not when she got her fox or snake, not when Burger showed up. Both of those were welcome surprises. 

This was an inconvenience. 

She wasn't sure what surprised her more, the thought itself or the immediate rebuttal of even more guilt. She wanted to sink into the floor when Akali also saw nothing in the animal's eyes. Only her. Only her? It couldn't be. Why only her, when they shared everything else? She never wanted anything like this.

All four of them stood there, stumped. Until Akali brushed them all aside.

"Okay, everybody out." She made a sweeping motion with her fingers. "I'm good with small animals and breaking into cars, and you're all screaming." Akali added, "Out. Shoo!"

They were shooed out.

Back inside the house, Evelynn lingered in the frame of the kitchen doorway.

"How does Akali know how to break into cars?" Ahri asked into the air, concerned.

"Another soul mate," Evelynn said, oddly still. 

Kai'sa answered Ahri, "I think she used to hang out with a really bad crowd."

"Another soul mate," Evelynn murmured, quieter.

Then Evelynn started cleaning up without a word, putting everything where it belonged. Kai'sa and Ahri helped her sweep and organize, tutting when she tried to grab a broken piece of glass with her bare hands. 

"Are you okay?" Ahri said cautiously, a large garbage bag tied off in her hands.

"I'm fine." Then Evelynn shook her head. "...I'm going back to bed."

And she stayed there all day.

 

Quietly, Kai'sa took another week off from work. The next morning was Monday, so Akali could also stay home. Thank God. She wandered into Kai'sa's room earlier than dawn, knowing Kai'sa would be awake. Akali held the raccoon in both arms like a plush doll. Her furry haunches swung loosely with every sudden movement, and her pink nose twitched as she sniffed everywhere, curiously taking in the world.

"So, KK. I think you might be the only one with a new soul mate." Akali dropped the raccoon onto Kai'sa's bed. She immediately started touching everything, snuffling into the pillows and nibbling on a quilt Evelynn's mom had made for her. Akali tugged it away. "Stop that!"

"You and Ahri still didn't see anything? Are you sure?" Perched on her desk, Kai'sa clasped her hands together and studied the raccoon. She wished Akali would give her good news, but her soul mate just grimaced. "And Evelynn?"

"We haven't had a chance to ask."

"She'll be upset either way."

"Yeah. I know." Akali rubbed at her temples. "Whoever owns this soul, she's got to be going through it right now, because this animal is a menace."

Done nosing around, the blonde raccoon ran back to Akali and rested her front paws on her upper thigh.

"Oh? You want up?" Akali happily held the raccoon again, bouncing her a bit like a baby. "That's so funny. You love to hang out with me, don't you? Oooh, you're my best friend!" And she squeezed her.

For the first time since this started, Kai'sa smiled. "A menace. I see."

"Adorable, sweet, chaotic, menace." The raccoon crawled up to sit on her head. "Maybe she is my soulmate after all. I definitely feel something when I look at her. Like Ahri and Sarah."

Kai'sa twitched in surprise. "You felt that?"

"I think the only ones who didn't feel it were Ahri and Sarah themselves."

"Fuck." They didn't need this right now. "Well, Ahri didn't connect with Ppopgi right away. It could be like that— with the raccoon, I mean."

Akali laughed. "I like how we've seen so much weird shit that we're not ruling anything out!"

"Yes. How hysterical." With Burger, it was something all three of them shared. With Skaduwee and Hunter, she had been alone, but not like this. Who could understand how she felt right then? Only Evelynn, maybe. "Sorry. I don't— I'm not— I'm not sure why, but I'm not handling this very well."

Kai'sa felt, and sounded, ill. 

"Wow." Akali's eyebrows raised. She shook her head in disbelief. "After all the shit you gave me about how beautiful and magical soulmates are?"

"I didn't give you shit—"

"You so did. I'm leaving, and I'm taking the magic raccoon with me." Akali made a big show of pretending to be angry, whirling around and marching out the door. "Hmph!"

When barely ten seconds had passed and Kai'sa didn't chase her, Akali popped her head back in. "Tough crowd this morning. Can't I do anything to make you laugh or smile or at least look less miserable?" Before Kai'sa could answer, Akali spoke decisively. "You're hungry. Let's make breakfast."

"You can't solve everything with food." Still, Kai'sa slipped off of her desk to follow. 

"No, but food never made anything worse." 

Akali ushered her into the kitchen. It was just the two of them at home—

(Them and all the animals that Akali couldn't see.) 

—and the raccoon, who fussed until Akali let her wander free. 

"Once you start something productive you'll feel better." Warm but worried, her eyes finally focused on Kai'sa instead of the naughty little soulmark touching all their saucepans. "Then when you're done you get to eat it. What's better than that?"

Chattering aimlessly, Akali bossed her around in between letting her know that everything was going to be better soon, to have a little patience. As always, Kai'sa didn't mind it when Akali got bossy— she liked a woman with a dominant personality, if her three soulmates were anything to go by. 

"Is Eve still in her depression cave?" Kai'sa asked.

"She's at work. Probably gonna stay late."

Kai'sa wondered if Akali ever regretted her weird work hours. Her weekend never aligned with most plans, and her second restaurant still ate up a huge amount of her free time. It was a miracle she got two days off at all. 

(A miracle named Evelynn, who coldly informed Akali she was forbidden from 15 hour days anymore.

"But—" Akali had started.

"You're not coming home at 3AM anymore."

Kai'sa expected a fight. 

It was one of the few times Akali meekly shrank with embarrassment and promised to try.

It had started with just one day off, but after more pressure from all her soulmates, Akali released some of her iron control and got her own weekend.)

"Did she say she was staying late?"

"Well no, but she obviously doesn't wanna be here." Abandoning her initial breakfast plans on the fly, Akali combed the fridge until she found an acceptable substitute. Washing off some grapes and apples, Akali hummed and filled up three different bowls. One for her, for Kai'sa, and one for the nameless raccoon. 

The raccoon sat on her haunches and happily snacked away on the kitchen floor. The way she moved was amusing. Those little hands, almost simian, clever yet clumsy. They didn't grab with precision, and her big snapping mouth meant she was a messy eater. 

Crouching next to her on the floor, Akali radiated obvious pride. "That's my girl. Tomorrow we can see if you like pomegranates. We don't want a repeat of the strawberry incident, do we?"

Kai'sa accepted a tablespoon of nut butter, accepting that Akali had already forgotten her plans to let Kai'sa cook. "Are you still upset about that?"

"It was peaches," Akali said. "Your favorite fruit is peaches and I never gave any to Quignon once. Not even once."

"I also love strawberries. And you told me he did too."

"He did love them!" Akali grumbled around her apple slices. She ate half the grapes, tossing a few over casually at the raccoon for her to snap out of the air. "But I stopped experimenting after that and he could have been having peaches instead."

Endearing as it was to see this side of Akali— they'd known she spoiled her animals silly, but Kai'sa never got to see it firsthand until now— Kai'sa felt this was a little ridiculous.

"He might not have even liked peaches. You know they're not a 1:1 ratio of their humans. For goodness sake, he's an antelope."

"The biggest regret of my life!" Akali wailed. The raccoon tapped her thigh for more grapes and she passed her whole bowl over without looking. "Anyway, what are we going to name her?"

They mused about it after their simple breakfast. Letting the raccoon play with her hands when she came over for attention, Kai'sa came up with, "Byul?"

"That's super pretty, but I don't think she looks like a star. She's more gold than white."

"Okay." Kai'sa rubbed her fingers over the raccoon's face, carefully smoothing back her eyebrow-like markings. "Blondie. She's a Blondie."

"Like the singer!" Akali said, excitedly. 

"The what?" 

Akali opened her phone, and Kai'sa craned over to view her screen as they listened. 

"I meant Blondie like the food, but that's good too."

"That's not a food," Akali accused her.

"It is so." Kai'sa opened her phone to show Akali a recipe. They both made hungry noises over it, but Akali complained about not liking sweet things, which led to an endless scroll of online videos before they got back on track. "She's so fluffy, and sweet… maybe Kkwabaegi? Is that stupid?"

"Mochi? Jjinppang? Faworki? Hotteok? Soufflé? We're going to name her after a food, aren't we."

"I think we are. Also, soufflés aren't sweet."

Akali's handsome, puzzled grin grew wider. "What? Of course they are."

"No, they're not, they're savory."

"Really? You're going to argue with me on this?"

"I'm not always arguing whenever I insist I'm right. They are not sweet!"

Akali recoiled as if Kai'sa had removed her glove and slapped her across the cheek with it. "Fuck you soufflés aren't sweet. I'll make a sweet soufflé right now!"

So, she did. Angrily, with speed, to prove a point, as with most things Akali did. 

They broke apart blocks of excellent, single-source cacao and Akali explained that she didn't like chocolate, but when she was going to eat chocolate it needed to be good quality. They beat the egg whites and sugar, and Akali gestured for Kai'sa to come closer and look at the texture, the way the light hit it. Wasn't it nice and smooth like that white silk nightie Ahri wore when she was feeling dramatic? Then she complained about her restaurant for the next hour. 

The three of them crouched in front of the oven, staring at the soufflés rising in their ramekins. 

"I think," Kai'sa admitted, "I didn't actually know what a soufflé was. I think I was thinking of an omelette, or a quiche."

"Huh?" Akali said. She tore her eyes away from the oven. Then, "I completely forgot that's why we were making them."

Kai'sa shoved her over. "How do you run a restaurant?"

"We're trying to name the new baby, don't be mean to me." Akali splayed out on the floor. "Pão de Queijo. It's—"

"I know what it is. Are you really going to name another animal 'bread'?"

"If it looks like a bread, I'm gonna call it a bread. Pâte á Choux?"

"A pastry is nothing but fancy bread! Éclair," Kai'sa said.

"An éclair is a pastry?"

"And?"

"Meringue," Akali countered.

Kai'sa shrieked in delight. With that goofy smirk still plastered onto her face, Akali tugged her down by the front of her shirt for a big, strong kiss.

"No more bread," Kai'sa said when she pulled free.

"Toasted coconut?" Akali played with the fine hairs on the back of Ka'sa's neck before angling her down for another kiss. "...Toast!"

"Stop!" Kai'sa shook her. Then kissed her again until the timer for the oven went off, and they had to disentangle to pull the soufflés out. 

When Akali tried to kiss her again, she had to arch up on her tip-toes to do it.

"Our height difference is such a pain in the ass," Akali said. 

"It's less of a problem on the floor."

Kai'sa snuck her hand into Akali's back pocket. 

 

 

When Evelynn came home much later that night, they were all gathered in the main room eating soufflés and talking about their next steps. A private detective was how they found Akali, so that was the logical thing to do here too. But everyone had understandable hesitations about disrupting their comfortable status quo so soon after moving into the new house.

"Hello everyone." Peeking through several layers, all Kai'sa could see were Evelynn's glittering eyes and the tip of her cold, red nose. She unwound herself like a snake shedding its skin, exhaustion making every movement drooping and sluggish. "You're all up late."

After taking off her big black high-heeled boots, Evelynn froze. Kai'sa followed her line of sight to see the raccoon standing just as still.

Staring from across the room, the raccoon and Evelynn sized each other up warily. 

"Hey baby," Evelynn said softly, coaxingly.

Then— poomf. 

The raccoon tripled in size, fur standing on end to appear as big as possible. Not tearing her eyes off of Evelynn, she teetered around unsteadily on the edge of her paws as she scampered away further into the house.

"Why is she scared of me?" Evelynn asked, trying very hard not to sound hurt.

"You bitch-slapped her across the room, babe," Kai'sa said.

"On accident!" Evelynn reminded her, scandalized. She wobbled over to the couch and barely made it before falling into a tired heap. Evelynn groaned, pulling one of the throw pillows to her chest.

"I'm a bad wife," Evelynn said, only the top half of her face visible around the pillow. Her brows were pinched, eyes glimmering with concern.

"Aw, Eve." Ahri sat down next to her, resting a hand on her back. "What makes you say that?"

"I don't mean to make you go through this every time."

"Go through what?"

She burrowed the rest of her head deeper into the pillow. "Me."

Kai'sa and Ahri locked eyes, probably thinking the same thing. Goodness knows they had enough conversations along this line. About how much they loved Evelynn in all her big, dark, brooding entirety. How she seemed untouchable and perfect only to crumble at the most unexpected times. How hard it could be sometimes to love someone who was so thoroughly convinced she was always one misstep away from losing them all. Her cruel streak. How they wouldn't change a thing about her.

"I promised Ahri on our wedding day I'd only ever love her," Evelynn said. "How can you trust anything I say? How can you believe any other promise I make? Because I love you all, so, so much."

"That's not a bad thing, Evelynn." Ahri said it, maybe because she thought Evelynn needed to hear it from her the most. "Your love could never be a bad thing."

Watching Ahri console Evelynn, Kai'sa felt Akali take one of her hands. 

She squeezed it tight, and Kai'sa squeezed back twice as hard.

 

 

Seven months.

A cursory glance at the calendar Ahri taped to the kitchen wall— festooned with sparkling stickers and washi tape and color-coded dates and schedules— said it had been a little over seven months since Meringue appeared. 

They needed time, that much was clear. Too many hangups, too much to talk about in therapy, too much change too soon.

They said they'd give it a year. If fate wanted their soulmate sooner then she would appear by chance, much like Kai'sa had.

But it took seven months, when Kai'sa and Ahri were lounging in her room late at night. Akali and Evelynn had fallen asleep in a cuddled knot with the raccoon nestled between them, and Ahri had just come home from work and was too wired to go to sleep and was wildly jealous.

"How come Meringue never sleeps with me like that?" Draped over Kai'sa's chair as she painted along with her favorite youtuber, Ahri whined and moaned and complained. "Even after I gave her that super cute manicure that she loved so much."

"That's a weird way to say you trimmed her claws and she hated it."

"She was ripping up the couch." A lull in the conversation. Ahri watched Kai'sa paint, clearly intrigued, her photographer's eyes scanning it all over. "We should get a pet. A real one. A little cuddle baby just for me."

"We should get a pet, or you should get a pet?"

"A little Pomeranian… I've always wanted a Pomeranian…" Ahri murmured under her breath before sighing hugely. "I miss Kuho! And yeah sometimes he pops up when I really need him, but it's not the same, you know? He's like, me."

Can't relate. Kai'sa still saw all the animals on the regular, and they weren't always a bundle of joy. So instead she said, "A pet is a responsibility. The soulmarks didn't need as much care."

"But Kai'sa—!" Ahri started, then stopped before she began to cackle. "Why do I feel like I'm begging my parents?" Interrupting Kai'sa's painting, Ahri suddenly straddled her lap, hands on her shoulders. "Oh, please let's get a little dog or a little cat or a little mouse or something I can cuddle? Please buy me a little pet, daddy?"

Kai'sa set her paint tools down.

In between the woman grinding on her lap and the hand sneaking up the front of her shirt and the heat rushing to her head, Kai'sa forgot all about the stream still playing. The soothing voice carried on in the background as she bowed under the ever-present heat between her and Ahri, the sticky cling of pink lip gloss slicking down wherever Ahri kissed her. Kai'sa returned those kisses in a frenzy, fisting her blonde hair, baring her neck to Kai'sa's teeth.

"Can't you cuddle me instead?" Kai'sa asked rhetorically, since it seemed Ahri had come down here to do just that.

"I can't bother you every time I need you."

"Of course you can." She ripped open Ahri's shirt, a button popping off near the end and bouncing into some far forgotten corner. "You're doing it right now."

Ahri whined agreeably into her mouth when Kai'sa stood up, Ahri's legs wrapped around her waist. Kai'sa let her know she wasn't really bothered, setting her down on the bed and falling down on top of her, stroking her over her panties.

A loud, hideous scream tore right through the mood. 

Both of them stopped, shocked, unsure where the noise had come from. It came again, crackling Kai'sa's speakers, and the two of them giggled when the audio muted and the camera went black. 

"Is she okay?" Ahri asked, straining to sit up with Kai'sa on top of her. 

PWM soon answered, unmuting and turning the camera towards her.

"Sorry guys!" the streamer said, showing her face for the first time. Kai'sa got a glimpse of dark, deep black eyes. A crooked smile. Waves of bottle-blonde hair licked with fiery red strands. "My new roommate is kind of a pain! Maybe I should introduce her?"

And she held up a little blonde fox, with a pastel pink nose.

The chat erupted as everyone started asking questions and praising her as the most interesting person in the world. 

Ahri said, "HUHHHHHHH? " and that was how they found their last soul mate.

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

 

"Of course her name is Sarah!" Evelynn seethed. "Of course she has red hair."

"Sera," the other three chorused for what must have been the millionth time. 

"S-E-R-A Sera," Ahri added, helpfully, and with no small amount of anxiety. "Seraphine Sung." 

"I cannot believe this." Evelynn instantly managed to sleuth out Seraphine's social media, which Akali noted was only a little bit creepy and invasive considering they hired a private investigator to find her back in the day. Evelynn tapped through Seraphine's twitter profile, flipping across picture after picture. "I cannot believe." After a moment of musing, Evelynn said, "Oh, she's trans."

Ahri perked up at once. "Trans?"

"We weren't sure if we should talk to her yet." Kai'sa paced, her arms tightly crossed. "By now she's asleep. There's been no change in our soulmarks, but—"

Ahri wiggled into the circle of Evelynn's arms, looking at her phone. "Trans?!"

"That's what is says in her bio," Evelynn said to Ahri.

"Are you even sure she's our soulmate?" Akali asked.

"Pretty sure," Kai'sa said.

Ahri excitedly shook Evelynn. "Trans!"

Evelynn passed the phone off to Ahri, distressed and distracted. "We said we'd wait a year."

Ahri said in dismay, "Oh god, and she's hot."

"We still will wait the whole year." Kai'sa spoke firmly. Then, looking around, "Unless… maybe we don't want to wait?"

"Or maybe we do want to wait!" Ahri said.

About to address Kai'sa, Akali stopped mid-breath to cast a knowing gaze at Ahri. "Nervous?"

"Yes!" Ahri wailed, hiding her face in Kai'sa's chest as Kai'sa patted her consolingly. "It's always so nerve-wracking! I don't know why fate keeps doing this to me but my heart can't take it!"

Kai'sa suggested they all take a deep breath in. They all did. Then deep breath out.

"I don't want to wait," Ahri said at once. "Rip the bandage off. Let's do it. Let's fall in love again."

"What a terrifying prospect," Evelynn said. "I think I agree."

"Hello?" Kai'sa said, when no other dissenting voices emerged. "One detail. None of you see your soul in Meringue's eyes yet."

Coolly, Evelynn waited for her to keep talking. Gave her room to do it. Maybe she knew what Kai'sa was going to say.

"What if it's not like it was before?" Kai'sa said. "What if it's not…" She drew a square in the air, then one solitary branch leading away. "Why is it only me? What if she's not joining our little group? What if she has one of her own, and I'm linking together these two pods of soulmates?"

"If you're the only one, then you're the only one." Ahri flicked her hair over one shoulder, an anxious little tic. "Obviously we'd support you no matter what. But if she's your soulmate, that means she's important to me by default!"

So Kai'sa had to say what she was really afraid of. "What if it takes me away from you?"

"It won't," Evelynn said, simple and direct, so calm it left no room for fear. When she wasn't dealing with her own insecurities, Evelynn could be a remarkable pillar of strength.

Kai'sa was afraid anyway. "But the soulmark—"

"I don't care about that. Fate won't keep me from you." Casually blasphemous, and meaning every word of it, she cupped Kai'sa's chin in the curl of her fingers. "Got it?"

She understood. Maybe now better than ever before. How Evelynn railed against what fate told them. Now that she decided Kai'sa belonged to her, it would take more than an act of god to change her mind. 

Kai'sa forced herself to swallow. "Okay."

Evelynn's thumb brushed over her lower lip when she released her. "Good girl."

 

 

 

"Also," Evelynn said, fiddling with the tips of her nails and avoiding all eye contact. "I've seen my soul in Meringue's eyes since the very first day she arrived."

"EVELYNN," the three of them chorused, torn between relief and outrage.

 

 

 

Kai'sa volunteered. She was PWM's fan, after all.

So she would just have to message her and… tell her they were probably soulmates.

Oh, fuck.

After a cautious introductory email, Seraphine confirmed what they already suspected. She had not just a fox, but a deer and a frog and a snake, too.

All of them were represented there in that first video chat, all of them so nervous Kai'sa could taste it in the air, sweating bullets and saying hello to their new soulmate.

"I uhhh, speak a little bit of Korean, but I'm nowhere near fluent."

Seraphine was willowy, with a saddle of red sunburnt flesh over her nose, and dozens of freckles. Kai'sa marveled that she had never shown her face on camera before, because it was a lovely face, and she was utterly enamored. 

"It's nice to talk to you more, Kai'sa." Dimples formed in the curve of a shy smile. "I always liked seeing you in chat. I think I had a bit of a crush on you!"

Kai'sa did her level best not to erupt into a volcano.

On the side, Evelynn translated into Ahri's ear. She then asked a question on Ahri's behalf. "Do you mind if we see your animals?"

Brightening, Seraphine pulled the fire-engine red tips of her hair back to reveal a colorful tree frog clinging to her neck. "This is D'artagnan, the fourth musketeer. Cause he was the last one to show up."

Then she bent over to drop something brown and fuzzy on her computer desk.

"That's—" Ahri's voice hitched, tight like she was on the verge of tearing up. "Your deer?" 

Nodding, Seraphine held up the little creature to the camera so they could all get a good look.

"Oh my god." Now Ahri was definitely blinking back tears. "There's something wrong with that mouse."

"That's not a deer," Akali said. "No way. He's smaller than Quignon!"

"That's a little coconut," was Evelynn's opinion.

"It would get lost in a display of kiwi fruit." Akali covered her mouth with one hand like she could stop herself from saying more, but she couldn't. "It's falafel on toothpicks."

"Chicken Nugget," Seraphine agreed, waving and waggling his two front hooves in front of the camera. "He's a chevrotain— and yes, I had to google that because I wasn't convinced he was a real animal."

"Is his name really Chicken Nugget?!" Akali said.

"It is," Seraphine said, a little flustered.

While everyone cyber bullied this poor animal, Kai'sa privately had to wonder what the universe was saying about her. In between the absurdity of a fanged deer and everything about Quignon the dik dik antelope, Kai'sa was starting to feel a little bullied herself. 

"You already met Diamond!" Seraphine laughed when the fox jumped up to lie around her neck like a fur scarf. "She's the first one I got!" 

"Yes!" Ahri pounded her fists on the desk. "Girl fox! Girl fox!"

"I can't believe I'm a boy again," Kai'sa complained. "That's two out of three deer!"

"I'm sorry baby but you're gonna have to complain to somebody else. I'm having a great time… Diamond," Ahri repeated with a smile, clutching onto Kai'sa's hand. 

Something shifted in Seraphine's focus. She licked her lower lip— 

Shockingly pink lips, Kai'sa noticed in a daze— 

And Seraphine said in a tremblingly cheerful, carefully practiced Korean, "She's always on my neck like a necklace." Seraphine traced her throat with one slender finger, blushing under her sunburn. "Beautiful diamond necklace." 

Squeeeeeeeeeeze! Ahri nearly cut off the circulation in Kai'sa's hand. She was so flustered and so pleased that she couldn't even respond except to erupt into giggles. 

Last but certainly not least, Seraphine heaved all of her emerald boa's huge body into view. "And this… is Franklin Jeremy Sung."

"Franklin?" Evelynn said. "I named you Meringue and you named me Franklin?"

"Franklin Jeremy," Seraphine corrected her. Then she turned Franklin Jeremy's puffy face towards her, letting him flick his tongue onto her lips in a little 'kiss'. "Doesn't he look like a Franklin, though?"

"I want it pointed out that I named Meringue," Akali said.

Evelynn grumbled.

After all the introductions were done and small talk finished they broached the topic of meeting in person. Time zones and airline tickets were an obstacle, but Seraphine said she had a lot of vacation time built up and would be excited to come to Korea, maybe stay in a hotel, she didn't want to impose upon her soulmates so soon after meeting them. Evelynn said it would be no imposition at all, but Seraphine said back, a little firmer, that she'd like her own space while in a foreign country, and Evelynn graciously backed away.

That led to questions about what exactly her day job was. Kai'sa only knew her as a painter, after all. Seraphine told them she was a cell phone tower climber, which prompted some googling.

"So that's why Meringue is always on the roof!" Akali said.

"Maybe!" Seraphine said. "I do think it's cute that fate gave you a little North American climber to represent me."

The rest of the conversation went by in a blur. Seraphine finally called it quits when it was past her bedtime, chirping, "Bye everyone. It was really nice to meet you. Bye! Goodnight!"

The screen went dark.

Kai'sa broke the resulting silence. 

"That was weirdly painless."

Ahri inhaled deep, and then shrieked, "FUCK!" 

Everyone jumped in fright. 

"I could barely understand a word she said!" Ahri raved, pulling her hair. "Why didn't I listen to fate? She gave me three English speaking girlfriends and I didn't take that as a sign?!"

"Kai'sa and I also speak two other languages," Akali said, just to needle her. In French, she said, "Will you learn this language? Are you going to scream about this one too?"

"Oooh," Ahri said, suddenly very interested. "Speak French to me again."

A little distracted, Akali mumbled in French some more. It wasn't fun to needle Ahri when she just got turned on by it. "Uhhh. I like French bread. It's difficult to concentrate on this now, actually."

"Fuck yeah," Ahri said. 

Kai'sa had a sneaking suspicion that Akali was listing off salad ingredients next, but Ahri was also fully committed to the bit and delighted by it nonetheless.

 

 

They all thought, Maybe this could be a good thing, after all.

 

It still wound up taking more than a year, in total. Seraphine became cagey about when she could come visit, or if she even wanted to, which Kai'sa found completely understandable. This was a lot to adjust to, and she knew Akali and Seraphine in particular had that in common. 

"Suddenly a whole apartment filled with animals," Seraphine lamented. "I didn't know what was happening!"

"I'm glad at least this time I'm cute." Akali poked the screen, trying to tap at the red and green tree frog. "Did Ahri send you pictures of Burger yet?"

"Burger is cute," Kai'sa said defensively.

"You're just saying that in fast food solidarity. Chicken Nugget."

"Akali!"

"So do you have like," Seraphine said to Kai'sa, brushing her red-tipped hair behind one ear, "A secret evil twin or something?"

"Excuse me?"

"Sometimes Chicken Nugget gets different," Seraphine said, mysteriously, and didn't elaborate no matter how much she prodded.

 

 

Kai'sa went back to work… just not as much as before. There were other things to fill her life with, now, that didn't drain her and leave her with carpal tunnel syndrome and burnt out eyes. 

"Who are you texting?" Kai'sa asked curiously from the living room. She was waiting for Evelynn to finish her breakfast so they could go check out some new exhibit for a local painter. Perched on the couch, she braided her hair, lost in thought until she realized Evelynn was moving slower than usual. Distracted.

Evelynn quickly made the screen go dark. "No one."

Kai'sa took her time. She finished up her braid, separating her long hair into three equal parts. Loop by loop, familiar as a favorite song. She'd done her own hair ever since she was a little girl, since her mom wasn't around. Of course Dad did his best, but her independent perfectionist streak meant she got impatient with him pretty quickly.

Then she got up, trailing her hand over the back of the couch before standing next to where Evelynn was seated at the counter. Kai'sa toyed with the intentional, stylish rip in Evelynn's jeans, tugging at the frayed white edges.

"No one?" she prompted. 

"No one... important," Evelynn corrected herself, thumb rubbing over the black screen.

Now that was interesting. "Are you planning some kind of surprise for Ahri? You're normally better at secrets than this."

Evelynn relented a little more. "I'm texting Seraphine. I'm not sure why I lied."

"Aw." Kai'sa's heart softened. "You like her!"

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves."

Kai'sa rolled her eyes. "I'm glad you're getting along with her, then."

 

 

 

Of course they took their time. Why wouldn't they?

 

 

"You never doubted it once?" Evelynn pressed, pacing, with her phone in hand. "There's not a single part of you that thinks this can't be real?"

On camera, Seraphine stared straight ahead as she stroked the fox in her arms. Black roots threaded through blonde and fire-engine red, months of growth not managed quite yet. Her gaze was lost, seeing something other than what was in front of her, her little mouth twisting in concern.

"I know it's real because I'm afraid of it."

 

 

 

 

They were all afraid. Of course they were all afraid.

 

 

 

Should they all go meet their soulmate at the airport?

Was there enough room in the car?

Yes, Ahri, you look fine. 

Would Seraphine be okay, sitting between two of them in the backseat, pressed that close to— essentially— two strangers?

Did everyone know the plan?

Of course Evelynn would drive, unless Kai'sa wanted to.

Seraphine would be sitting shotgun, obviously! 

What's the plan, again?

In the backseat, Ahri quietly repeated phrases in English to herself and demanded Akali correct her pronunciation.

When you and your three soulmates pile into a car, driving through busy streets with your hearts in your throats, and you're about to meet a girl who might ruin your life, when you see her in the airport finally, when you say hello— do you kiss her?

Kai'sa spotted her first, waiting for her luggage. There was a fox at her heels, and a little brown shape running circles around her ankles, and certainly somewhere in the voluminous depths of her two-toned hair there was a shy little tree frog hiding from the world. She wasn't very tall— a little taller than Ahri and Akali, but not nearly the height of Evelynn or Kai'sa.

Kai'sa glanced down at her soulmark, the deer that fate chose to represent her. That feeling again, the sensation of seeing your soul on the outside of your body. A deer the size of a mouse, but its presence huge as a bonfire. Kai'sa was staring at that little deer hard, and so she saw it when it happened.

It's really quite an unusual thing, to see a deer explode in public.

One moment there was that frantic little body, and the next it was… different. 

A massive arch of antlers thick as tree branches rose up into the air. Silky sable fur rippled over muscled haunches, reflecting the harsh airport lights. Wide, black eyes stared into hers, challenging her to face him. A melanistic fallow deer stomped and huffed right behind Seraphine. He lowered his head and he used those antlers like a shovel, jostling and urging Seraphine step over stumbling step as people stopped and stared.

"Ow! Hey! Nuggie, okay, okay, I'm going! Brute! You don't need to shove!" Seraphine complained, until she realized she was being shepherded directly into Kai'sa's arms, and they both recognized each other at the same time.

They had no choice but to embrace tightly as she collided into her.

Chicken Nugget huffed— Kai'sa could only imagine in satisfaction— then puffed into his teeny-weeny little chevrotain form again and trotted away on his teeny-tiny little hooves.

Clutching Seraphine so close, Kai'sa felt her heart thundering. Her cheek was pressed to Kai'sa's chest. Her arms were folded in the scant space between them. Kai'sa had no idea what her expression looked like. Was Seraphine angry? Excited? Amused? Scared? 

Kai'sa held her so tight. Afraid of holding tighter. Afraid of letting her go.

"Good grief, KK, you couldn't let any of us get a word in first?" Akali said, and broke the spell. 

Letting her arms drop and freeing her, Kai'sa said in English, "I— I am so sorry. I promise I didn't make him do that."

"You see what I mean now, right?" Seraphine said. She pushed away slightly, but didn't step out of Kai'sa's personal space. Her hands rested on Kai'sa's shoulders. She was looking up at her. The sunburn had turned into a dark tan, and more freckles than ever starred the constellations of her body. "He's got two sets of skin! Do you just get bigger when you're feeling insecure, Kai'sa?"

She stopped mid-rant just to laugh.

Then, "Hello. It's nice to meet you in person. At last."

"Hi," Kai'sa said.

They all said hello, quickly greeting each other in a mix of Korean and English.

And that was how they met their last soulmate.

 

 

 

Seraphine wanted to explore the city after dropping off her luggage. She approached Ahri once she was settled in, trying to get her attention. Right before Ahri mustered up the nerve to talk, Seraphine addressed her directly, in passably good Korean. "Ahri, I brought a camera I like. Can we take photos together?"

When she unearthed some big old camera from her purse, Ahri immediately went into an excited rant about it. As she went on, it became clear from Seraphine's polite, tense smile that she only understood maybe half the speech, and Ahri flushed and apologized and promised to speak slower.

"No, it's okay! I want to get better." Seraphine held her hand earnestly.

"I'll do my best to speak English," Ahri said. "And you Korean. Like our text messages."

"We'll meet in the middle?"

"In the middle!" Ahri agreed, laughing, and they pinkie promised over it.

The five of them discussed their plans with a sober head. Four adults transplanting to a new country obviously wasn't unheard of. Akali could open a restaurant over there, Kai'sa worked from home anyway… but Evelynn and Ahri were both firmly rooted in Korea. Would Seraphine want to leave everything she knew for a pack of strangers who were too terrified to even touch her (unless a giant deer literally shoved them together)?

They agreed that the next trip should be the four of them visiting Seraphine in California. No deer needed to push that decision.

"None of the animals have ever done anything like that!" Ahri said over dinner.

Her and Seraphine haltingly tried to communicate in a mix of Korean and English the whole day. They managed to find some middle ground as promised, but Kai'sa could tell it was a strain for both of them. They were weighed down by all the things they wanted to share but couldn't, not yet. 

"Sometimes they behave in ways we don't understand." Akali looked over at Evelynn with a brief smile. "...But yeah, none have transformed in a puff of smoke into like, their Super Saiyan forms."

Kai'sa tried to hide her face in her salad. "Stop. I already feel like a freak."

"I thought it was very impressive," Evelynn said. "Who knows what else the soulmarks can do?"

One soulmark was happily making herself at home on Seraphine's lap. Meringue was reunited with her own soul, and made it very clear to everyone that she was going to be sticking to Seraphine like glue for a while. Seraphine seemed delighted, hugging her and holding her whenever she could. She snapped a photo of the two of them together, in a haphazard selfie. 

Evelynn pointed out, "We're not too far from where we met Kai'sa— her animals have a habit of leading us into interesting situations."

None of them were opposed to a walk after dinner to help digest. The park was still open until dusk, and there was still a bit of sunlight out. Ahri linked her arm with Seraphine's and they used their phones to help translate the story of how they met Kai'sa. Evelynn often chimed in with a helpful clarification or two or three. Something Seraphine said made Evelynn burst into laughter. Seraphine practically glowed with pride before— quickly— glancing over her shoulder. 

Akali and Kai'sa were trailing a bit behind, like sullen shadows.

Kai'sa stared into dark eyes a moment too long, then Seraphine— quickly!!! — turned back around with her spine straighter and a blush down her neck, nervously chattering with Ahri again.

That lingering look melted its way down her whole body. 

Kai'sa felt like a caged animal.

Tapping Kai'sa's arm, Akali slowed her stride a few paces to allow more distance between their groups. She spoke lowly, "So it's gonna be like that, huh?"

Kai'sa, still staring at the back of Seraphine's neck, said, "Huh?"

"Dude." Kai'sa looked over to see Akali staring at her with exasperation. "She wants your nuts."

Staying upright became much more difficult. 

Wobbling on her heels, Kai'sa stammered and made incomprehensible noises.

After waiting a while for her to respond, Akali put her out of her misery. "Did you see how she was looking at you? Even I could feel it. The first thing she ever said to you was she had a crush on you!"

"Well," Kai'sa said, but didn't have much else to say.

"C'mon KK," Akali said, taking her sweet time on the trail, and Kai'sa shortened her stride to walk by her side. "It's time you accepted that you're the ladykiller in the group. Between the threesome on your first date with Ahri and Eve, and you taking my virginity—"

"First off, virginity is a concept. I disagree with the notion that it's something you can take—"

"I'm just saying. Sera looked very interested." Akali patted a solemn hand on her shoulder. "You have my blessing."

"I'm not sure I like that this is your perception of me!"

"Oh nooo," Akali mocked. "Poor Kai'sa with her legs up to her asshole and her luscious silky long black hair and big dark brooding eyes and her pouty lips that naturally look like someone rubbed blush on them oh nooo, she's just so sexy and everyone falls instantly in love with her, what a fucking tragedy!"

The three women ahead of them turned around. Ahri's big eyes searched them all, looking innocent and confused.

Kai'sa's face burned as she hissed, "Will you please be quiet?"

"You okay, honey?" Ahri asked, trotting back to her side. "I told Sera about that karaoke place near her hotel. Do you think we should take her?"

"Uhhhhhh," Kai'sa said, and Akali cracked up. "Shut up, Akali. Yes, let's go to the karaoke place."

"Picture!" Seraphine sang, and quickly snapped another photograph of them before they left.

The karaoke place, Reflects, was a narcissist's wet dream. The owner lined half of every wall with conflicting mirrors, making a funhouse out of the limited space and making each doorway a portal into another world. Another rabbithole for Alice to slip inside. 

Akali and Seraphine bonded over liking the same k-pop group and sang together. They sounded really good, actually, and Ahri took the mic next to wow them all with her vocals. Ahri fluffed her blonde hair and crowed that in another life, she was a famous actress and singer. But she liked this life, because being famous was probably stressful, and she enjoyed her job and her spouses and their home that they made together.

"And all our weird little animals," Ahri said, laughing when Diamond jumped onto her shoulder. "Oh my gosh, she's heavy! You spoil her."

After a quick translation check, Seraphine said, "I don't think she's heavy at all."

"That's because you're strong as fuck." Akali reached out and grabbed Seraphine by the bicep. "I've seen your insta. You're totally ripped under that circus tent."

Offended, Seraphine looked down at her ankle-length, pale pink pleated skirt. "I think that's the rudest thing anybody's ever said to me."

"You must lead a charmed existence, then." Evelynn squinted like a cat, with clear mischievous pleasure. 

"Be nice." Kai'sa scolded them both. "Sorry, the soul marks aren't the only animals here."

Seraphine waved it off. "Don't worry, I know how spicy Evelynn can get. I'm surprised Akali is pulling on my pigtails so much, though."

Sipping on a brightly colored drink, Ahri eyed everyone, doing her best to keep up. Fuck, this was going to be rough for a while— even if Ahri's English had gotten much better in a short amount of time. So Kai'sa caught her up real quick, and Ahri also curiously gave Seraphine's arm a little squeeze.

"Your arms are very firm. It must be from all the climbing," Ahri said in Korean, and Seraphine understood it if the pleased flush on her face was anything to go by. Akali picked a loud rock song to wail to next, the speakers pumping. "I always say I'll start going to the gym, but I never do. How do girls like us stay motivated?"

"Huh?" Seraphine said.

"Umm." Ahri swapped to English. Or tried to. "Ummmm. How do I say it…"

She trailed off, stroking over Seraphine's arm in a gentle, resigned way. Seraphine went quiet as well, clearly unsure to respond. Watching them, Kai'sa wondered if she should intervene again when Seraphine leaned in and kissed Ahri firmly on the mouth.

Akali stumbled over the next song verse, and Evelynn nursed her own drink without a single emotional reaction, and Kai'sa did her best not to panic, and Ahri was also doing her visible best not to panic.

"Your drink tastes really good," Seraphine said in Korean when she pulled away. The song ended. Nobody else picked up the microphone. "...You want to go next?"

"Uh. Y-yes." Ahri tore herself out of Seraphine's eyes, tightly shuffled over to the machine, and picked out another song. 

Kai'sa's phone buzzed in her back pocket. Checking it surreptitiously, she saw a text from Akali in the group chat.

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

Evelynn said, That was hot.

The language of love needs no translation I see, Akali joked.

I think we're in trouble, Kai'sa said. I can't fathom being that smooth. She's going to eat us alive.

Call Ahri her appetizer cause she went down first, Akali said.

When Ahri finished her song, Evelynn went next. She crooned out a ballad that had some notes a little too high for her, and Ahri entered the chat. 

im sooo sorry! was that allowed? she just kissed me i didnt know how to react! Then after a second, she said, Akali, why are you so mean to me constantly

They decided it was, in fact, allowed. But Ahri was too deep in her nerves and knocked back a few too many drinks. She leaned heavily on Akali as the night went on. Eventually she snuggled up and went to sleep… right after Evelynn extended their stay for another hour.

"It's fine if we want to go home," Evelynn said. "I can afford it."

"Ummmm." Seraphine stared longingly at the neon room. "If you all want to leave, sure!"

Akali laughed. "I'll call a cab for us. You take Seraphine to her hotel when you're ready to go." 

"Oui, chef," Evelynn said, and Akali hunched her shoulders sheepishly.

"Take Sera to her hotel, please and if you don't mind and when you're done party-rocking, oh mate of my soul. Was that polite enough for you?" When Evelynn admitted it as acceptable, Akali gently tried to wake up Ahri. "Come on, baby."

"Oh, don't end the night on my account," Ahri said, dismayed, when she was cogent enough to understand what was happening. "I can get home fine on my own."

"Nah. I'm old and tired and it's past my bedtime." Akali ushered her out of her seat. "But you three, party away."

"Maybe one more song," Evelynn said, perusing the options. 

Kai'sa helped Akali take their tipsy soulmate out front, sensing that Evelynn wanted a moment alone. Maybe sensing the same thing, Seraphine joined them, and took one last picture of them while they waited for the cab.

"Can I see them?" Ahri asked, curious and handsy. When Seraphine handed the camera over, Ahri crooned. "Ooh, you've got a great eye. This one of Kai'sa has got—"

Ahri skipped to the next picture and her voice caught in her throat.

In the photo, Ahri stood with her back to the camera. She was standing in the doorway to their neon-lit karaoke room, mirrors reflecting her a million times over. Her head was slightly turned, just enough to see a hint of her profile, the shape of her nose, and wisps of blonde hair in her face. 

"It's me?" Ahri said, voice oddly strained. Then she quickly recovered, smiling at Seraphine. "It's... me. Me in a dream, after all."

"A dream?" Seraphine asked, but the cab arrived before any further translation could be done. The driver honked when they all lingered, none of them wanting the night to end just yet, but unsure how to say goodbye.

"Sera," Ahri said, at a loss for words in any language. Then she kissed her again, inhaling deep when she pulled away, like she wanted to take Seraphine's breath with her. "You make it very easy to fall in love with you."

Akali stepped closer and held them both, squeezing them for all she was worth.

The car honked again. Akali let go first. Gave them all a rueful smirk and a wink, and helped Ahri inside. 

When they were about to close the door, Meringue leaped in with them. With the window cracked slightly open, Kai'sa heard, "Oh, now you deign to show me that we're soulmates?! You little trash goblin!" and then they were gone.

Kai'sa kept her hands in her pockets, watching the car leave.

"Sorry," Seraphine said. "But I like her so much, and I didn't know how to say it."

"You don't need to explain yourself to me," Kai'sa said. She turned to Seraphine. "I was in your shoes once."

Seraphine looked up at her, the stars on her skin and in her eyes hypnotizing Kai'sa yet again. 

I could kiss her, right? I could kiss her too. But she didn't. They went back inside and Evelynn ordered more drinks— non-alcoholic this time. 

"Ahri got a bit tipsy the first time we met Akali, too," Evelynn said. 

"I think that's the Ahri move." Kai'sa flushed, remembering their first date in vivid detail. "She acts like nothing bothers her, then she becomes a shy little alien for exactly one evening, then she's all smooth pickup lines like everyone didn't see her lose her mind over holding your hand."

"You guys are so lucky." Seraphine spoke with undeniable envy, gazing at them wistfully. "You've been through this so many times already, you know what to do."

Evelynn murmured around her drink, "I wouldn't say that."

"But you make jokes about it! Like oh, typical Ahri, every time she meets a soulmate she… blah blah blah, you know what I mean."

"If we don't make jokes about it," Kai'sa said brightly, "We'd probably murder each other." 

"So, do you like Seoul?" Evelynn asked, starting some small talk to change the subject, her casual body language projecting nothing but disinterest. But Kai'sa could see what others couldn't— a swarm of snakes all over Seraphine's lap and clinging around her neck, greedily trying to touch her and desperate for her attention. 

They quickly gave up any pretense of singing more, talking through the entire hour. And as the hour grew to a close, she felt Evelynn's tension rise and rise, and knew the same anxiety must be written all over her own face.

And it was written all over the room, too. A handful of animals that no one else could see, all stressed out and trying to comfort each other, and the three humans in the room stiffly pretending they were any different. It would have been so much easier if everyone could still see the animals. If Kai'sa didn't have to open her mouth and ask for what she needed.

But no one else could see what she saw. She had to be honest.

"Hey, Sera?" she said. Her fingers traced over the rim of her glass. "Can you kiss Evelynn, too?"

Jaw dropping slightly, Seraphine sat back. Then she looked over at Evelynn. "Well, if that's what she'd like."

"So you'll ask what I like," Evelynn said, "But not my wife?"

"There's a language barrier."

"Mmm." Evelynn pondered her drink before turning her searching gaze onto Seraphine. "There's none here right now."

Seraphine flushed, both hands curling into fists on her lap. 

"Tell me what's going through your mind," Evelynn prompted. "You've been taking this all so well. Too well, frankly."

The hand at her side beckoned, and Seraphine sat a little closer. "I know how to keep my cool. My job depends on it. Or, you know, I fall to my death."

"The stakes here do feel so much worse than death, don't they?" When Seraphine hesitated again, Evelynn pressed harder. "Be honest, Sera. Or you don't get to kiss me."

Concerned, Kai'sa wondered if they were going into dangerous territory, and if she'd accidentally pushed them all here. All she was trying to do was be honest, herself. This wasn't how she expected the conversation to turn.

"To be honest?" Seraphine said. 

Kai'sa waited. 

"To be honest?" Seraphine said again. "It—" Her hands made tighter fists on her lap, bunching up her pale pink skirt. "It—" For a second it looked like the question really broke her, blood rushing to her face, and her eyes starting to shine. And all around her were a dozen other Seraphines in the mirrors, also on the verge of tears. "It— it's too hard to say. It's too much."

"You don't have to," Kai'sa started awkwardly.

"It makes me sick," Seraphine interrupted, one palm to her face. "O-okay? It feels h-horrible. I don't understand, don't have the right to be mad. But wh-when this is over you get to go home, and I have to be in that hotel room all alone trying to pretend it isn't killing me. How can I need something so badly when I didn't even know I needed it until now?"

She wiped at her face, embarrassed and angry. "Fuck, man."

Evelynn took another sip of her drink, waiting.

"But it is gonna end, right? One way or another?" Seraphine grit her teeth. "I know that's such a hard thing to think about but we have to. I have to go home to California, or— or— I can't ask you to c-come with me, and it's not fair— it's not fair— "

Kai'sa immediately enveloped Seraphine in her arms, squeezing her and letting her weep it out.

"What is it with you," Kai'sa said to Evelynn, her upset only half-feigned, "And making innocent young girls cry on the first date?"

"Sorry," Evelynn said, smokily.

"It's n-not her fault," Seraphine managed to say, her face to Kai'sa's chest. "I'm a crybaby."

"It's a little my fault," Evelynn relented, setting her glass down.

Reaching over, Seraphine grabbed the water and pressed its cool surface to her face. Seraphine sniffed, gaining control back— somewhat.

"No, no. I'm h-honestly glad someone said it," Seraphine said, moving the glass under one closed eye. "All these feelings at the same time." She pushed it to her other eye. "I felt like I was going crazy."

"Happens to the best of us," Evelynn said. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry that you're soulmates with an awful bastard like me."

"I'm not sorry," Seraphine said, in between another sniffle, and Kai'sa was so keenly aware of the body in her arms that she hated herself for it, a little. 

Kai'sa said, in between great heaving breaths that were half furious and half wildly aroused, "Shut the fuck up and kiss her already." 

Sighing hugely, Evelynn got to her feet. "Yes, yes, bokkie. I'm on my way."

Seraphine laughed in surprise when Evelynn collapsed next to them, hard enough to shift the sofa cushions and push her half onto her lap. Then Evelynn was holding her by the face and kissing her hard. Kissing her gently. Kissing her all over her face, and then kissing Kai'sa.

"Come home with us." Evelynn kissed down her neck, palm under Seraphine's shirt. "It's not too soon if it's what you really want." 

Seraphine tensed. "I'm not ready. I don't want to, I can't—" To Kai'sa's great amusement, Seraphine corrected herself in distress when Evelynn pulled away. "Whoa, hey, I still want what you were doing! I mean moving to a new country!"

"Then I'll move." The answer became so clear, it was a marvel it hadn't occurred to Kai'sa before. "I'll go with you. To your hotel room, tonight. And then home with you to California."

"But..."

"Akali didn't move in for an entire year," Evelynn reminded her. "It's fine, Sera."

"But—"

"No, Sera, listen." Kai'sa held Seraphine's face in her palms, thumbs rubbing her cheeks, as Evelynn worked down her body with more hungry, devouring kisses. "I can work anywhere. I'll go with you, and you won't have to be alone. And we'll all figure it out together. Whether that means all of us moving to be with you, or getting you here. But we will work it out, and you won't be alone. Okay? You won't ever be alone."

And she kissed her. Kissed her soulmate, where everything was perfect, and they would make it work. Even if they drove each other crazy sometimes, even if they fought sometimes or got on each other's nerves. Nothing was better than finding the perfect set of words to make them smile. Or giving them the perfect gift, the thing they needed but they didn't even know to ask for. Or spending the perfect moment together in the kitchen or on the roof, playing music or fiddling with paintings or photography. Everything was right when Kai'sa was with her soulmates.

"That's why I need you, bokkie," Evelynn said, kissing her, sucking on her lower lip as she pulled away. "Your heart's so big, you make me behave."

Sometimes it was that simple. 

Primly, Evelynn reminded them that they were still in a public venue. So she went and got the car, and firmly insisted, "Sit in the backseat with her, won't you love?"

"And warm her up?" Kai'sa guessed.

"And spoil her," Evelynn chided. She opened the door for them. "Everyone knows you're good at that."

Seraphine laughed when Evelynn took Kai'sa's hands and put them on her breasts, then gasped softly when she made her grip them tight. "Ohh. So what you're saying is I'm in good hands?"

"The best," Evelynn purred, nudging them inside before making her way to the driver's seat.

The next morning they would have to tell Ahri and Akali, though they probably already knew. They had to make plans for the rest of Seraphine's visit and for Kai'sa to accompany her on the return trip to America. Temporarily, they'd be apart, but they knew how to deal with temporary absence. They were only just getting started.

Yes, really. 

That's how it all started.

---

 

 

 

 

 

Moonlight         now on Malibu
The winter night   the few stars
Far away        millions   of   miles
The sea       going on and on
Forever   around   the earth
Far   and    far   as your lips are near
Filled    with the same light    as your eyes
Darling     darling      darling
The future     is long gone by
And the past   will never happen
We have      only this
Our one forever
So small       so infinite
So brief        so vast
Immortal     as our hands that touch
Deathless    as the firelit wine we drink
Almighty      as this single kiss
That has no beginning
That will never
Never
End

 

 

 

This Night Only,  Kenneth Rexroth

 

 

Notes:

Hi.... thank you so much for being here with me, whenever you are reading this.

damn, it's finally done. I feel like I should give some kind of thank you speech?

I want to thank drZarigani for being the impetus for me to return to the soulmark universe

I want to thank the kind folk in the K/DGAY server for being the ones who came up with this idea in the first place. You gave me these brainworms!

I'm fairly satisfied with this chapter as a final product, and have added music links finally. but if you spot a typo or whatever, feel free to tell me in a comment!

also feel free to ask questions if anything didn't get answered this chapter, though the answer might be "they talked it out in therapy lol"

im @kepmakingwords on twitter if you want to follow ...... hey riot i have experience writing in triple aaa video games, if you want my number you know how to reach me, you know.....

keep it cool, be nice to people.... leave a review please i worked very hard on this... i love you, goodnight

--

Tracklist

"Highway 6" by The Beaches
"Just Fucking Let Me Love You" by Lowen
"Peach" by Origami Button
"Girl on your tv" by twst
"Stray Italian Greyhound" by Vienna Teng
"Sara Smile" by the bird and the bee
"Dying to Know" Justin Courtney PIerre