Work Text:
Wade sat in the sand at the edge of the shore, the tide tickling his toes. The legs of his costume were scrunched up as far as they would go, and he had his mask off.
On his right, sat a disturbingly attractive black blob monster. He thinks it's the teeth that attracts him the most.
They had just got done kicking bad guy ass, teaming up when they wound out going after the same human trafficker.
Now they were sitting on the beach, covered in blood and gore, sitting silently after awkward introductions.
Fuck this silence.
“So,” Wade says, breaking the ice, “fuck, marry, kill. Professor X, Wolverine, or Eddie.”
Venom stared at Wade for a second before grinning, his mouth resembling some sort of grisly Black Dahlia cosplay.
“Marry Eddie of course. It's already in the plan.” Wade let out a little 'awww’. “Kill Wolverine.”
Wade gasped. “WHAT?! You take that back!”
“No, these are my preferences, not yours,” Venom argued, crossing his arms.
“But Wolverine is super hot! How can you not want to fuck him?”
“I prefer my men lean and soft-hearted, so obviously I choose to fuck Professor X. Besides, Wolverine's muscles look like they would be delicious cooked in a stew. So much meat.” Venom licked his lips.
“Oh my God, you would eat him?!”
“Every last morsel.”
“I'm going home before I puke. Nice meeting you Vee.”
“Good-bye, Deadpool.”