Chapter Text
It’s one week before the full moon, Snape has just finished the Wolfsbane potion, most of the students have gone home for the holidays, he himself only had half a dozen students left to look after from his own house.
Now Snape didn’t have to dress up, it wasn’t like he was going to be wearing these robes for very long, but he did anyway, he always did. Snape steps out of the shower, running a brush through his wet hair briefly, before going to get dressed in a pair of trousers and some casual black robes. Snape locks the door to his bedroom, picking up the goblet from his desk before walking down the hall.
Snape walks past a pair of First-Year Ravenclaw girls, on his way through the corridor, scolding them for running in the halls. The girls hurrying away without another word. Snape walks into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, knocking on Professor Lupin’s office door.
“Come in,” Remus calls back evenly, looking up from his scroll when the door opens.
Snape walks inside shutting the door behind himself, moving swiftly across the room, setting the goblet on the corner of Remus’s desk.
“Your potion,” Snape says.
“Thank you, Severus,” Remus says, setting his quill down before getting up from his seat, walking around the desk standing beside Severus. Remus picks up the goblet drinking it quickly, trying to pretend it didn’t taste as horrible as it actually was.
Severus didn’t have to let this happen, but he didn’t want it to not happen. So, he lets Remus place his hand on his waist.
The week leading up to the full moon, Remus was nearly insatiable with sexual desire. The first time, at the end of September, Remus had come on to Snape, he wasn’t rude or overly aggressive, in all honesty, Snape thought he was quite gentle with the way he spoke to him, and proposed they engage in a one time hook up.
Snape had been shocked that Lupin would even suggest such a thing. They were both faculty members, the fact that he had a little crush on him back when he was a teenager, shouldn’t have mattered. They were adults and couldn’t go around sleeping with each other, they worked together after all. But Snape was defenseless against some sweet talk and some more than gentle touching, that he never got to experience much in his life. And he agreed to Remus’s proposal, but just that one time.
That one time in September had turned into one more time in October one more time in November, and here we are again in December, following the same path. Snape doesn’t move but his mind shifts into a calm outlook as Remus’s body pressed against his backside, and his hands fumble with the button on Snape’s robes.
“Severus,” Remus murmurs, removing the robes from his small frame lying them on the desk, before reaching for his shirt.
“Lupin,” Snape answers, and Remus can’t help but smile at that.
“Did I ever tell you that I fancied you?”
This makes Snape snort with a small laugh, “Well we’ve been having sex for the last four months, so I pieced it together.”
This makes Remus smile, and laugh softly, “I mean when we were younger,” Remus says, pulling the shirt off of Snape, before reaching for his trousers. No belt, Remus noted as he opened Snape’s trousers, letting his hand slip inside. Snape’s arousal apparent against the palm of his hand, and Remus knows Snape is suppressing a moan of approval.
Snape’s breath hitches slightly, as his body reacts to Remus’s hands against his body, “Was that before or after Black?” he says.
Remus smiles, pulling his hands back, “Before,” he says softly, taking hold of Snape’s hand, leading him back to his bedroom, shutting the door behind them, “I was thirteen,” Remus murmurs, “and I went back to my room after we had Potions together, and I couldn’t stop seeing your mysterious dark eyes looking at me, and being thirteen I didn’t know what it meant, so I asked James-“
“You did not,” Snape says quickly in complete shock.
Remus smiles, sitting on the edge of the bed, wrapping his arms around Snape’s waist, “I didn’t tell him it was you,” he insists, “but I asked him why I couldn’t get this one person out of my head, and he said that I must fancy them,” Remus says, pulling Snape closer to him, “and then proceeded to prod for the next six months to find out who it was.”
Snape kneels down on the bed, his knees on either side of Remus’s thighs, “You never told.”
Remus shakes his head, letting his hands graze over Snape’s ass, he was getting friskier by the minute.
“James would have killed me,” Remus says, watching Snape begin to work the buttons on his shirt open.
Snape pushes the shirt off of Remus’s shoulders letting his hand trail down his chest, before reaching for his trousers.
“I don’t believe you,” Snape says after a moment of silence.
Remus smiles, “Believe it or not, it is the truth,” he says quickly lifting Snape up, pressing him down against the bed, causing him to gasp shortly in surprise, “You were always the unobtainable one to me, and it only fueled the infatuation,” Remus says, reaching down pulling at Snape’s trousers, “They always say you want the one you can’t have.”
Snape had only ever wanted the one he couldn’t have. He lifts his hips as Remus pulls his trousers down, leaving him naked on the bed.
“But then you saw an opportunity,” Snape says, watching Remus kick off his trousers and underpants.
Remus nods, kneeling on the bed, wrapping his hands around Snape’s slender thighs, pulling him down on the bed closer to him.
Snape loved the way he could never predict what Remus was going to do next, it kept him on his toes and it kept him in a perpetual state of arousal.
“After,” Remus pauses for a moment, “Sirius,” he says softly, looking back at Snape, “I realized how short life was and decided I didn’t want to wonder anymore,” he says, “and then an opportunity presented itself.”
“Four months ago,” Snape says.
Remus nods, reaching between Snape’s legs, using a lubrication charm and pressing his middle finger into Snape’s waiting entrance, causing the other man to groan in arousal and slight discomfort.
“I decided the moment I first saw you in the castle that I was going to make a move, and if you returned the exchange then no harm no foul.”
“I told you we shouldn’t do this at first,” Snape says breathily, as Remus thrusts his finger shallowly into him.
Remus nods, “and I was going to go off and lick my wounds like a wounded puppy,” he says, before inserting an additional finger with another lubrication charm, “then you said that so long as it would be kept quiet, it couldn’t hurt to do it the one time.”
Snape groans as Remus’s fingers, thrust into him creating a steady rhythm, “and here we are four months later,” he pants.
Remus smiles, thrusting his fingers faster into Snape, “Here we are,” he murmurs, leaning down kissing Snape’s lips.
Snape doesn’t kiss him back, but only because Remus presses a third finger into him, and he can’t stop his back from arching high off the bed.
Remus presses his fingers further into the older man, Snape’s eyelids flutter, as Remus’s agile fingers seek out his prostate.
“Lupin,” Snape murmurs, letting his eyes shut briefly.
“Call me Remus when we’re alone,” Remus says softly, at the same moment finding Snape’s prostate.
Snape moans in surprise, pressing his hips down, “Remus,” he says breathily.
“Yes Severus?” he answers, stilling his hands for a moment.
Snape decided he didn’t want to say what he was really thinking anymore so instead, he says, “Can you use more lubricant.”
“Of course,” Remus says with a gentle smile, applying an additional lubrication charm, and his three fingers slide into his lover with much ease.
Snape hadn’t expected that simple act to cause him to moan, but he can’t help arching his back, pressing his hips down, suddenly unable to wait a minute longer, “Lupin, now,” he says breathily, pushing himself up onto his elbows.
Remus frowns slightly, looking at Snape, “Please, Severus,” he murmurs.
Snape nods quickly, “Right, sorry,” he says, wincing slightly as Remus slips his fingers out of him.
“Are you alright?” Remus asks, nudging Snape’s legs apart a bit more, slipping between them.
Snape nods again, “I’m ready Remus,” he murmurs softly.
Remus smiles at the sound of his name of Snape’s lips, and he slowly pushes into him, holding onto Snape’s hips, a low primal groan erupting from within his chest. Snape groans falling back on the bed, “fuck, Remus.”
Remus thrusts his hips forward meeting Snape’s, gripping his hips harder. The rough sex was something you got used to Snape learned, it had taken him by surprise the first time, he didn’t expect Remus to be so territorial, though he probably should have, Snape had bruises on his pale skin for a week after their first hook up. His muscles were sore, muscles he hadn’t used in a very long time. He ached.
When Remus saw how sore Snape actually was, Remus began to gently massage his muscles, which lead to another round of intercourse, Remus had meant to be gentle with Severus that time, but he couldn’t help himself. Snape insisted it was alright, and that he didn’t mind the rough sex. Over the last four months, he’d grown to expect rough sex, and quite enjoy it actually.
“Fuck Severus,” Remus groans, thrusting his hips fucking Snape harder, causing him to moan.
Snape groans in frustration when Remus misses his prostate by mere centimeters, “Remus,” Snape groans.
Remus knew that needy groan all too well, he knew he was close to what he wanted, he just had to try a little harder. Remus shifts slightly, as he thrusts harder into Snape.
Snape groans, propping himself up on his elbows, “Remus,” he murmurs.
Remus looks down at Snape, “yes?”
“May I?” he asks, and Remus simply smirks when he realizes what Snape is asking him.
Remus smiles, “I have a better idea if you don’t mind,” he says, before slowly pulling out of Snape.
Snape sighs heavily, feeling suddenly empty but before he could complain Remus has moved him so that Snape was lying on his stomach. Snape groans, moving onto his knees at the same time Remus’s cock pressed against his entrance before entering him.
“Fuck,” Snape swears again, squeezing his eyes shut.
At some point, Remus’s hands found their way into Snape’s hair, and he can’t help pulling on the long, dark, silky smooth locks of his hair. The hair pulling wasn’t Snape’s favorite part, but he could put up with it for a bit. Remus had just enough extra control to find that exact spot he was searching for. Snape moans loudly, arching his back, pressing back against Remus, as Remus thrust forward, harder into Snape.
After, covered in a thin layer of sweat and both his own and Remus’s semen, Snape collapses onto the bed once Remus pulls out.
“Fuck,” he swears, turning over to lay on his back, his hand resting on his stomach as he catches his breath.
Remus lays down beside Severus, “Amazing,” he murmurs.
Snape nods in agreement, letting his eyes close for a brief moment.
After a few minutes of silence, Remus turns over to Snape, “Do you want to tell me what you wanted to say to me earlier?” he asks.
Snape opens his eyes looking over at Remus, he doesn’t say anything, but he does wonder how Remus could know that he wasn’t being truthful earlier, and why he waited until now to tell him he knew he wasn’t being truthful.
“What are you talking about?” Snape says.
“I’m not thick Severus,” Remus says softly.
“If I had something to say, I would say it,” is what Snape says next.
“In that case, I’m listening,” he says.
Snape rolls his eyes, “Give it a rest, Remus,” he says.
Remus smiles, “I thought you didn’t do the after sex, pillow talk.”
“I don’t,” Snape confirms.
Remus smiles, “So that’s what this is about.”
Snape pushes himself up on the bed, ignoring the soreness radiating throughout his body as he reaches for his pants on the floor.
“Don’t go, Severus,” Remus says, sitting up, wrapping his arms around Snape from behind.
“Get off,” Snape mutters, pulling his underpants on.
“No,” Remus says.
“Twelve years,” Snape snaps suddenly, causing Remus to shudder in shock, “You say you fancied me but waited twelve years,” he says bringing his voice back down, “I’m the real fool here,” he says, “to think that anything could actually be different.”
Remus places his hand on top of Severus’s, “Severus,” he says quietly, “Let me explain.”
“Do I have to wait another twelve years for it,” he sneers.
Remus frowns, “After everything with James, I was sure you never wanted to see me again, I was scared of what you’d say, or worse, what you would think of me if I dared to write,” he murmurs.
“But you thought that coming on to me, after twelve years of not speaking was the right way to go about things,” he says, putting his trousers back on.
“Please don’t go,” Remus says.
“This was a bad idea,” he says.
“Severus,” Remus says, watching Snape continue to get dressed.
“Severus,” Remus says louder this time, causing Snape to stop and turn to Remus.
“What?” he asks, as calmly as if Remus hadn’t just raised his voice at him.
“Severus,” he says lowering his voice once more, “If this was strictly about sex, I would have asked you to leave as soon as we were done.”
“I always leave when we’re done,” Snape says looking back at him.
“Not for lack of trying on my part,” Remus says, “I know I’ve asked you to stay every time.”
Remus did always ask Snape to stay, but Snape insisted on leaving when they were done having sex, going back to his own bed to sleep, alone.
“What are you getting at?” Snape asks.
“The only reason we’re keeping this so casual, was because you asked me to,” Remus says, “I respect you enough to do so, but I also have feelings of my own on the matter.”
“And those would be?” Snape prompted.
“That I eventually hoped this would turn into something we did together for a while,” Remus admits.
“You expected a relationship?” Snape says, “You expected a relationship with me, after everything we’ve been through.”
“Expected, no,” Remus says, “I did, however, hope we could develop a relationship,” he says.
“I am not a replacement for Sirius Black,” Snape says.
Remus looks back at Snape, “You are nothing like Sirius, Severus,” he murmurs softly, “And I don’t want a replacement for him, It’s been twelve years, if I wanted a replacement for Sirius, I would have gotten one before now, but I don’t want to replace Sirius, I do however want to be with you,” he says.
Snape doesn’t say anything as Remus talks, he can’t believe what he’s hearing.
“If this job had not been presented to me, I probably would have gone the rest of my life without seeing you again, but this opportunity presented itself to me, and I wasn’t going to let you go without at least telling you how I felt about you, and if this is how it ends, then this is how it ends, but I am not upset we ever did this,” he says.
Snape looks over at Remus, unsure of what he is actually feeling.
“Go, if you wish,” Remus says, “But I do hope you reconsider, Severus.”
“Why would you be upset, you’ve gotten to spend the last four months fucking me, whenever you wanted,” Snape says after a moment.
“Was this only ever about the sex to you Severus?” Remus asks, “Because that’s not what this was to me.”
Snape rolls his eyes, “I was fine with this when it was once maybe twice, but you’re asking for a regular thing now,” he says, “and that’s not what I signed up for.”
Remus sighs softly, “Well I certainly am not going to make you do something you clearly don’t want Severus,” he murmurs, moving back on the bed.
Snape stares down at the floor, his head was so full of confusion right now, he didn’t know what he wanted, or what he didn’t want.
After two and a half minutes, Remus begins to worry, “Sev,” he murmurs softly.
Snape turns around, looking at Remus he was shocked by the use of the nickname, he hated that Remus knew how to get at him. He hated that he actually fucking liked Remus, he hated that the crush he had on him, simply came rushing back as if it hadn’t been over fifteen years since he first had feelings for that man.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have,” he murmurs.
Snape sighs, turning back slowly and it’s almost as if Remus knew what he was thinking because before he could get up, he feels Remus’s hand on his again.
“Stay, Severus,” he says, and Snape nods, and scoots back onto the bed. Remus tries not to smile, but he was going to finally get Snape to stay the night, and that to him was an accomplishment.
Snape wakes up in the morning, and Remus’s arms are wrapped around his waist, and his breathing is soft against his ear, and Snape’s first thought is to get up, and go back to his room, take a shower, have toast for breakfast, and shut himself in his office for the day until Remus would show up again, for their next night of sex, which ensued every night until the full moon.
“Did I wake you?” Remus purrs softly, against Snape’s ear.
Snape snaps out of his thoughts, “No,” he murmurs, “I was already awake.”
Remus smiles, “I’m glad you’re still here,” he says, holding Snape tighter.
Snape looks over his shoulder, back at Remus watching him for a moment.
Snape couldn’t deny the fact that Remus’s hands felt amazing right now, and it takes him by surprise the fact that he was actually aroused right now. His cock wasn’t hard, but if Remus’s hands continued, he certainly would be, and Remus showed no intention of stopping any time soon.
Remus leans over, kissing Snape’s cheek, before beginning to kiss at his neck, letting his hands roam over Snape’s slender chest, and that was all it took.
Severus’s body is sore when he tries to get up from the bed after.
“I’m sorry, Severus,” Remus says, getting up to help the Potions Master from the bed.
“I’m fine,” Snape says, putting his pants back on, “I just need my robes.”
Remus puts on his dressing gown, before going into his office, bringing Snape his shirt and robes, from the desk where he left them the night before.
“Let me help you,” Remus says, offering to help Snape put his shirt back on.
“I don’t need help dressing myself,” he says, taking the shirt of Remus, putting it on rather slowly.
Remus doesn’t mean to be so rough with Snape when they have sex, but he doesn’t know the extent of his own strength sometimes, and right before the full moon, he tends to be stronger than he even realizes.
“You’re hurt Severus,” Remus murmurs, kneeling down on the floor in front of Snape, buttoning his shirt for him.
Snape doesn’t stop Remus, from helping him, “I can dress myself I’m not a child.”
Remus smiles, looking up at Snape, reaching up once he’s finished buttoning his shirt up for him, gently caressing his cheek, “It’s alright Severus,” he says, “Let me help you.”
Snape says nothing, before getting up from the bed, pulling his robes back on in silence.
“Severus,” Remus says softly, placing his hand on Snape’s waist.
Snape turns back to Remus and is completely surprised when Remus's lips meet his, in a gentle but firm kiss.
Remus pulls away a moment later, “Is this alright Severus?” he asks.
Snape thinks for a moment, was this really okay? Snape nods a moment later.
“You’re sure?” Remus asks smiling.
“I’m sure,” Snape nods again.
“Okay,” Remus smiles, releasing Snape a moment later. Snape straightens himself up before Remus shows him out.
Snape walks back to the dungeons, walking into his office before going into his storeroom, pulling down a wooden box, picking out a particularly plump caterpillar, closing the box back before putting it back on the shelf. Snape pulls down Boom Berries, Knotgrass and Moondew before walking back to his desk. Snape pulls out a copper cauldron before he notices his caterpillar moving across the table. Snape picks up a glass, turning it over on top of the caterpillar keeping it from running off, before putting the Boom Berries into the cauldron and beginning to heat them on top of a blue flame until they melted into a deep purple liquid, before adding the rest of the ingredients.
Fifteen minutes later Snape pours the potion into two glasses. Waving his hand over the table, he cleans up the mess he’d made, before walking down to his bedroom. Snape sets both glasses on the table in his room, drinking one glass before putting the empty glass into the empty sink in his kitchen.
Snape immediately goes to take a shower, hoping the potion would start working soon, and his headache would go away. For the rest of the morning, and well into the late afternoon, Snape occupies himself by grading essays on the effects of Wiggenweld Potion, he’d collected the previous Friday.
Snape is down to his final six essays when he hears a knock on his door, “Severus, are you in there?” It was Lupin.
With a heavy sigh, Snape looks up from his parchment, “Come in,” he says.
Remus lets himself in, shutting the door behind him, “I thought you would have been to dinner,” Remus says.
Snape looks over at the clock on the wall, there was no way he had missed dinner, but it appears he had indeed missed dinner. It was nearly nine pm.
“I’m not hungry,” Snape murmurs, even though he hadn’t eaten all day, and wouldn’t mind a sandwich right now.
Remus walks over to the table standing beside Snape, “Have you been grading papers all day?” he asks.
“I hadn’t realized,” he says, looking over the stack of essays and the red correction ink he’d marked over nearly half of the parchment.
“Take a break,” Remus says, placing his hand on Snape’s shoulder.
Snape looks at Remus’s hand on his shoulder, “I’m almost done,” he mutters, turning back to the last of the essays.
“Finish them tomorrow,” Remus says, running his hand down Snape’s bicep.
Snape sighs, “alright,” he murmurs, setting his quill down.
Remus leans down wrapping his arms around Snape’s torso, “You work too hard,” Remus says softly, resting his chin on Snape’s shoulder.
Snape rolls his eyes, how Remus thought this was the way to get him into bed was beyond him, “We’re already fucking, this little show is unnecessary,” he says.
Remus smiles, kissing Snape’s cheek, “I told you, Severus, this isn’t just about sex to me anymore.”
“You can’t be serious,” Snape mutters, “We are not boyfriends.”
“Maybe not yet,” Remus says, “But maybe eventually we could be,” he says smiling at the thought.
Snape sighs, “Get off,” he says.
Remus frowns, “is everything alright?” he asks, releasing Snape, before taking a step back.
“You were smothering me,” he mutters, getting up, standing to face Remus.
Remus smiles, “You really should learn to enunciate Severus,” he smiles.
Snape rolls his eyes, as Remus puts his arms around his waist, and Snape pushes him back, “You’re trying way too hard,” he says.
“I’m sorry,” Remus says with a visible frown.
It’s that moment Snape realizes how tired he is, he rubs at his eye walking back toward his bed, taking off his robe, waving it into the wardrobe, before sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Just, stop trying so hard,” he says, “Please.”
Remus walks over to Snape, kneeling down on the floor in front of him, “You’re tired,” he says, looking up at Snape.
Snape nods, beginning to unbutton his shirt.
“Let me,” Remus says, reaching up, unbuttoning the shirt for Snape.
Snape rolls his eyes but doesn’t protest this time, and Remus removes his shirt and starts to unbutton his trousers. Snape lifts his hips up as Remus tugs lightly on his trousers pulling them off, leaving them on the floor. Remus reaches for Snape’s underpants, looking up at him as he pulls them down, looking at Snape for any sign of refusal.
“Do you want to do this tonight Severus?” Remus asks once the older man was naked.
Snape didn’t not, want to do this but he was fairly tired, “I want to, but I’m tired,” and equally sore from this morning’s sex he thinks to himself, looking down at Remus who sat at his feet.
Remus reaches up, taking Snape’s cock into his hand, stroking him slowly eliciting a low groan from the dark-haired wizard. A moment later Snape’s cock is hard, and Remus leans down, taking the head of his cock into his mouth, causing Snape to groan, arching his back. Snape had what Remus would consider a modestly impressive cock. Remus imagined how his lips would stretch around it, and just like in his dreams, his lips did stretch around Snape’s cock.
“Fuck,” Snape moans softly, as Remus presses his tongue against the underside of his cock, taking more into his mouth.
It wasn’t often that Snape got blow jobs, he could count them on one hand, four. This would make five. Remus sucks slowly at first, trying to take as much of Snape into his mouth, as he could. Letting his tongue work over the head of Snape’s cock, while he sucked him faster every minute, caused Snape to writhe feebly beneath Remus.
Even with Snape’s warning, Remus finds himself chocking a bit when Snape comes into his mouth. A moment later Remus pulls off, affectionately rubbing his hand over Snape’s knee, before getting up walking into the bathroom to spit in the toilet.
Remus can’t help but notice the somewhat pleased look on Snape’s face, he crawls onto the bed, “What is it?” he asks.
Snape smirks, “You don’t swallow?”
Remus makes a face and shakes his head.
Snape laughs lightly, “Why’s that?” he asks.
“I don’t like it,” he says, “I never have.”
Snape raises an eyebrow inquisitively at Remus.
Remus laughs at the look Snape gives him, “I don’t mind the actual cock sucking, I rather enjoy that part actually,” he says, “I just don’t like to swallow,” he says.
“Interesting,” Snape murmurs, pushing himself up on his elbows, “Well I don’t mind swallowing.”
Remus smirks, “I know that, all too well,” he grins.
Snape looks at Remus, “that was an invitation, Remus.”
“Was it?” he asks.
Snape nods, looking back at Remus.
Remus smiles, looking back at Snape, “You can repay me next time,” he says.
Snape looks curiously back at Remus, “Why don’t you want me to?”
Remus smiles, “I do want you to,” he insists, “but you’re tired, and I want you to sleep.”
This was new. Never before had Remus satisfied Snape and had Snape not returned the favor. Remus was perfectly content to make Snape happy, and not think about himself. This made Snape skeptical.
Snape sits up on the bed, “Lie back,” he says, deciding he wasn’t tired enough to not have sex tonight.
“Severus no,” Remus says, but Snape ignores Remus, beginning to unbutton his shirt.
Snape looks at Remus, “You want to,” he says, reaching for Remus’s trousers.
Remus laughs lightly, “I always want to Severus.”
“Then, let me,” Snape says, pulling down the werewolf’s trousers.
“Severus,” he murmurs, “I don’t always know my own strength, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’ll be fine,” Snape insists, “I want you to,” he says continuing to undress Remus.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Severus,” Remus says again.
Snape stops, looking up at Remus, “I want you to fuck me, Remus and I don’t want you to worry about hurting me when you do so.”
Remus looks at Snape, he definitely wanted to, he was more attracted to the Potions Master than he would have ever cared to admit. Remus also cared about him and didn’t want to hurt him, and even though Snape asked him to, Remus knew he would end up sore or possibly hurting him in some way. Remus watches Snape wave his hand, vanishing the rest of his clothes so that he was naked, and Remus no longer had to wrestle with his thoughts, as he pounced on the older man.