Chapter Text
[pinky n the brain added Togami, high hopes, and 13 other students to the group chat]
pinky n the brain: >;3c
11037: owo what's this
hatsune miku: leon if u ever say that again i'm going to beat you to death with your own shoes
11037: i swear to god if you kill me i'll die
hatsune miku: sounds ideal
Ishimaru: What is this, Fujisaki-kun?
11037: is the mad lad actually gon use honourifics in text
town bicycle (gets around): yes
pinky n the brain: ishi, it’s so we can communicate more easily! i thought it would be helpful
Ishimaru: That sounds wonderful! Thank you!
11037: so fresh….. so pure….. he has No Idea what we're going to do to him
town bicycle (gets around): kuwata if u do anything to him so help me naegi i will be forced to help maizono kill you
fake ass hoe: bottom abuse
hatsune miku: AHDJSKAJS
high hopes: “...so help me naegi?”
pinky n the brain: don't invoke the lord's name in vain
high hopes: what in the gosh darn
Ishimaru: What is going on?
Ishimaru: Naegi-kun is a lovely friend, but I do not know why you are equating him to a God!
town bicycle (gets around): kyoudai don't fight it
pinky n the brain: ishi i'd die for you
Ishimaru: Please don't!
veterans discount: the hell is this
fake ass hoe: it's a group chat muku-chan, obviously
veterans discount: take ur sass and put in in your pocket junko
hatsune miku: hello ikusaba-chan!!
veterans discount: hello maizono
11037: (oowada voice) gay
veterans discount: send yr location kuwata
town bicycle (gets around): fellas is it gay to introduce yourself?
Togami: Kuwata is currently occupying the library, in the back, reading manga.
11037: tOGAMI WTF???
hatsune miku: hah get dunked on
Togami: I care not for conversation with you people; I wish to dispel the issues in here ASAP so my phone doesn't keep buzzing. It's irritating, much like you lot.
10/17: toges comin thru in a clutch
pinky n the brain: who uses a semicolon in texts?
high hopes: hey hagakure
10/17: naegichi wus boppin dude
high hopes: uh… nothing much?
10/17: wicked cool, man
veterans discount: not to interrupt this meaningful conversation, but i went to the library just in time to see kuwata screaming and running away
veterans discount: like a little bitch
hatsune miku: L M A OO O
Ishimaru: Ikusaba-kun, you shan't use such language in this chat!
veterans discount: you're not my mom
fake ass hoe: i am
fake ass hoe: watch your fucking language
put it in my donut hole: why'd i just see kuwata run crying into the bathroom
high hopes: JESUS CHRIST ASAHINA YOUR NAME
pinky n the brain: A-ASAHINA??
put it in my donut hole: what in the sam hill i'm GONNA SCREAM
put it in my donut hole changed their nickname to hydrosexual
pinky n the brain: so much better the tears have been absorbed back into my body
hydrosexual: i bet it was yuuta why does he hate his big sister
10/17: we live in a society, huh…
Celestia: Hm? What is this?
i've got fish to catch!: y-yeah….
fake ass hoe: do you really need to stutter via text message
i've got fish to catch!: no one asked f-for your opinion….. slut……….
pinky n the brain: wow…
Ishimaru: Fukawa-kun, that's no way to address your classmates!
11037: #roasted
hatsune miku: ah so the bitch boy speaks
hatsune miku: are you still in the bathroom i will come find you
11037: ASHSJ SAYAKA IT'S THE BOYS BATHROOM
hatsune miku: gender identity is a prison
pinky n the brain: amen sister
Ishimaru: While I agree in part with your sentiment, Maizono-kun, you should not attack Kuwata-kun! To be honest, I don’t know what he did to anger you so much in the first place...
11037: thanks ishi you're the only motherfucker who can handle me
pinky n the brain: hey!! ishi is my nickname :((
11037: oh sweet jesus
11037: i can't tell if you're actually upset but i fear if you are you won't be stopped by the bathroom door you'll just phase through the wall and kill me
high hopes: fujisaki enables no clip mode
pinky n the brain: ASHSJAKJ NAEGI
town bicycle (gets around): chihi can, will, and is already on their way to tear u a new asshole
detective princess: what.
detective princess: I feel as if I've come in at a bad time
high hopes: hi kirigiri!!
detective princess: never mind, came in at a great time
town bicycle (gets around): ZERO FUCKIN HESITATION WOW
fake ass hoe: we love a confident sister
high hopes: oh okay???? do u need something
detective princess: hm
detective princess: yes, I have a letter to deliver you from the principal. can you come to saihara and I's room later?
high hopes: sure thing!!
11037: this man has the fifth highest grades in the class
high hopes: ??
11037: n...nvm
hydrosexual: yo kiri why's that yr name?
hatsune miku: she's a phantom thief of hearts
Ishimaru: I highly doubt Kirigiri-san partakes in illegal activities.
veterans discount: ishimaru,, it's okay fam
Celestia: So… What have we accomplished in this little group chat thus far?
pinky n the brain: trapped leon in the bathroom, established naegi as a dumbass, got to listen to ishimaru being pure as always
Celestia: Business as usual, yes?
pinky n the brain: you got it, your highness!
fujisaki said Fuck Work > [3:28 P.M]
high hopes: does anyone ever forget that ishimaru is,,,, ripped
veterans discount: tea
town bicycle (gets around): hell fucking yeah he is
detective princess: what brings this on, naegi?
11037: jealous?
high hopes: we had gym class today and we were in the change room and i? was kinda floored tbh
high hopes: like he’s always wearing his full body uniform, so it slips my mind
hydrosexual: a buddy of mine said that ishimaru had an eight pack. that ishimaru was ripped
high hopes: HE IS!
hydrosexual: goals tbh
hydrosexual: actually sakura is goals and then you ishimaru
shaped like a friend: thank you, Aoi.
hydrosexual: <33
11037: naegi: had my gay awakening in the hope's peak gym
high hopes: H M
town bicycle (gets around): you know if i had to choose someone to have my gay awakening with it'd be taka
11037: “““if”””
pinky n the brain: just guys bein dudes!
town bicycle (gets around): YO SHUT THE HELL YOUR MOUTH
detective princess: wow
detective princess: this devolved quicker than I would have thought
Ishimaru: While I think this is an inappropriate avenue of discussion, I appreciate your flattery!
Ishimaru: Your words are very kind, Kyoudai!
hydrosexual: swing and a miss *shrug emoji*
11037: did you really just type shrug emoji
hatsune miku: sometimes it really do be that way
town bicycle (gets around): you’re welc brother
pinky n the brain: y’all ever wanna call ishi “kiyo” then remember there’s that underclassman who goes by that
10/17: yeah shingooj
town bicycle (gets around): the fuckin underclassmen are wack asf
pinky n the brain: iruma and i talk sometimes bc we’re both Tech Kids™ and she is… an experience
town bicycle (gets around): once i caught her stealing shit from my motorcycle in her underwear?
high hopes: i found her in mine and komaeda's lab once, not really doing anything… just sitting… with weird goggles on
11037: fuckin komaeda
detective princess: what about him?
11037: yknow sometimes you just have to let my sentiments lie kirigiri
hatsune miku: “fuckin komaeda” -kuwata leon, 2019
11037: do you only come in here to bully me
hatsune miku: yes
fake ass hoe: how romantic uwu
hatsune miku: smells suspiciously heterosexual… which i am not
11037: dam friendzoned again… 😔
anime on main: pardon my intrusion, but i'd like to put in that iruma miu sama frequents my lab to steal my doujin. the weird shit, too
10/17: wassup fumi
veterans discount: you're a rare sight
anime on main: yeah, too busy jackin off 2 talk
fake ass hoe: you see, i can rarely tell if you're joking or not because of your less than wholesome habits
anime on main: schrödinger's dick joke, decide for yourself
pinky n the brain: asgajskdnd
anime on main: anyways, i must be going. i have other matters to attend do
11037: such as, making the bald man cry
anime on main: respect women, crank it to 2d
hatsune miku: ...and like a flame that flickers out too soon, he’s gone
hydrosexual: an inspiration to all
Ishimaru: This is not welcome in a school environment.