Chapter Text
Silence.
Unbearable silence.
The kind of silence that is suffocating and squeezes the air from your lungs like the ever-expansive vacuum of space as I waited for Meliodas to respond; to say something - anything to what I just said. Silence that drowned out the world and darkened the edges of my vision until it was focused entirely on him as the single existence outside myself that meant anything.
And he wasn't saying anything!
He remained still. Staring at me with the same wide eyed gaze, breath slow and shallow and quiet - so quiet. Like he hadn't actually processed what I said. Or as if I hadn't said anything at all.
Was he even breathing?
Was I?
I couldn't take the silence anymore. I needed him to say something. To react. To reassure me that this was real. Because this whole turn of events had me doubting.
I knew it was real. Hurt too much not to be.
"Meliodas." I whispered.
His grip on my shoulders tightened considerably, not painfully but not reassuringly either. He dropped his head with a mumbled, "you're lying."
My heart dropped, pieces breaking off in my chest. I knew it was coming. I knew - I just -
Big, heavy tears slipped down my face.
How could he think I would lie about this? About his brother and Liz? What kind of person did he think I was? Aside from completely unreliable, completely useless, complete failure - I suppose adding complete liar wasn't too far-fetched, but it still stung like I'd been slapped with his entire weight - his entire soul - behind it.
"Meliodas," I tried again, struggling against the sheer weight of pain and guilt consuming me. "I'm not—"
His head snapped up and I inhaled sharply at the raw emotion swirling in those emerald pools.
"Please," he whispered. "Please tell me it's not true."
The breath he took shook with rawness that matched his eyes. Guilty and dreadful and his hold felt stifling in the way he tried to stabilize himself against the news that was starting to sink in. I could see the desperate last threads of hope laying bare for me - waiting for me to rip them apart.
I… I didn't know what to say.
But my silence must have spoken just as loud as anything I could have said.
I could pinpoint the moment it all finally clicked into place for him. The moment the thread snapped.
"Fuck." He inhaled a rattled breath. "Fuck."
His hands left my shoulder. He stood abruptly, the chair next to the bed he'd sat in before pushed backwards with the sudden motion. I watched as the man I had come to care for fell apart in front of my eyes. Piece by piece falling away until the guard he'd so masterfully constructed to hide himself fell down. Hands driven deep into his own hair as he pulled, air hissing through his teeth as he huffed panicked breaths through an impossibly; painfully tight jaw.
I'd never seen him so vulnerable.
Not even when he had told me about Liz. About their past together.
And about her death.
I reached for him, tried to get out of bed to comfort him in some way - I knew I was probably the last person he'd want, but I had to try. A pained hiss pushed past my gritted teeth.
Wild desperate eyes snapped to me.
A moment passed and his features immediately softened.
"Don't move." He told me quietly as he pushed my legs fully back onto the bed.
Even with the thick blanket, I could feel the tremble in his hands. And no control over his tone could hide the anguish in his voice. It was a valiant effort. Truly. But the cracks in the mask were far too deep.
My lips pulled together tightly as I struggled to not cry out in pain. I could handle the physical pain. It had to be nothing compared to what Meliodas was going through. I felt my own heart break again and again and again watching him try and force himself not to let me see, trying to force some semblance of control and failing so miserably.
Seeing someone so strong shatter… I had no other way to describe it.
"How could he…" Meliodas muttered softly. If the room hadn't been deathly quiet I wouldn't have heard him. "He knew… he fucking knew."
"Meliodas I'm so sorry—"
"Don't apologize for him!" He snapped furiously.
I flinched at his rage.
His features immediately shifted from wrath to remorse. "I… I'm sorry Elizabeth. I didn't mean…"
I knew he didn't. At least a small desperate, guilty, selfish part of me hoped he didn't. This whole thing… it was too much. For both of us. "I know."
"I shouldn't have—"
"I understand."
I didn't. I never really could. But I would rather he spent all of his anger on me instead of leaving. I'd take his anger if it meant he'd stay.
"But I—"
I ignored my pain and yanked him towards me by the nape of his plain black tee-shirt. His head landed just above my chest as I held him tightly. "It's fine, Melidoas." I said, despite the tears heavy in my words. I took a deep breath. Assuring myself just as much as him with my next words, "I'm fine."
Even if I was anything but.
Even if he was anything but.
When I felt his arms wrap around me, I could almost believe that the lie I spoke was true.
I had no idea how long we had stayed like that. Embracing each other in mutual misery and bouts of tears we had no hope of containing.
All I know is that at some point, I must have fallen asleep.
When I woke, Meliodas was gone.
Another day passed and I was quickly getting tired of the hospital scenery.
Meliodas hadn't been back yet. Not that I could blame him.
I had unloaded a heavy burden upon him. And as shitty as I felt about it, I felt a little lighter having shared it with someone. Which did nothing to lessen the waves of guilt that kept crashing over me.
I both wanted him back here and to stay away for as long as possible. The thought of seeing him again filled me with joy and dread. I hated being so conflicted. At having other things to think about then what Meliodas must be doing.
Like my job.
My discussion with Father still lingered in the back of my mind, taunting me with my inevitable return to the office.
Obviously being alone gave me too much time to think.
I was itching to get out.
Itching to be done playing the victim.
Part of me also understood that the itchiness was also a residual effect of withdrawal, but I tried to ignore that. As long as I focused on work and being useful, I didn't feel the ants crawling under my skin - something I knew would pass eventually.
Escanor had called in a specialist to help me deal with my anxiety, but I couldn't wait around for someone to tell me I'd suffered a trauma. I knew as much.
The only thing that was going to make it any better was getting back out there and finding Estarossa… before he found someone else to kill.
And it was like there was a count-down timer sitting over my head. I could feel it with every passing hour.
Thankfully Diane had shown up to help take my mind off things.
But even her lengthy visit did little to soothe my anxiousness.
Though, it had been really nice to have her sit with me. She treated me more normally than Meliodas and Escanor or even Margaret did. They were all tip-toeing around me like I might break at the slightest breeze.
Diane didn't.
On first arriving in my room and seeing me awake and sitting up in my bed, she went full-blown wailing, hugging me tightly, spouting words through sobs I could hardly understand. When she finally calmed down, she held up a bag.
"What's that for?"
She grinned, sending me one of her signature winks, "Well I figured I'd help you get cleaned up and comfortable," She set the bag on the bed, careful to avoid setting it on my legs.
Diane opened it up to show me the goodies inside. Travel sized bottles of my favorite shampoo and conditioner, some body wash, a few other odds and ends and some clean clothes - a button-up nightshirt and pants as well as a full day outfit.
"You are an angel." I sniffed, looking up at her with thankful eyes.
She giggled, "It's no trouble. I figure if you're stuck here, might as well be comfortable, right?"
She wasn't wrong, but if I had my way, I wasn't going to be 'stuck' for very much longer.
Diane helped me out as much as she could, filling our time together with idle chatter about customers at the bar. About how irritable everyone's been. And while she upfront told me she understood, she also said —
"I just don't think that gives them all the right to be dicks, ya know?"
And I laughed.
Because it was such a bluntly Diane thing to say.
And then… Tears started to fall.
Diane's smile immediately dropped. "Oh no." She changed her tone quickly. "I didn't mean to make you cry! It was supposed to make you laugh! I get why everyone's on edge! I've been too ya know!?" The girl seemed on the verge of tears herself.
"I did laugh." I remind her as I try to reign in my emotions.
"But you're crying now!"
I shook my head. Because I didn't have any words for her. I didn't even really know why I was crying in the first place.
She crawled up right next to me and wrapped her arms around me.
A silence I wasn't used to enveloped us.
My body melted against hers. Taking comfort in someone else's presence. Much like when I was younger and would cuddle next to Margaret after a bad dream.
Maybe that's why I reacted like that.
Because Diane was here. Just as much a sister now as Margert and Veronica. Or maybe this was what it was like to have a best friend?
I'd never had one beside Howzer. Though I don't think he really counted in the same way a female friend could.
A chuckle left me as I imagined Howzer's large frame trying to fit into the bed. Not to mention all the rumors that we would fuel if anyone ever saw the two of us in such a position. Nevermind the circumstances, cops were just as much gossips as any other profession.
"Thank you," I mumbled, the words echoing loudly in the quiet room.
Diane snorted and squeezed me gently. "For making you cry? Pretty sure the boss is going to beat me up after this. Actually," she pulled away to tap her chin, "I think I may beat myself up for it."
I shook my head fondly. "Don't be ridiculous. I mean because…" As soon as those bright amethyst eyes landed on mine I ducked my gaze. Knowing I couldn't say this directly to her. "I mean for being here. For…"
That's what friends are for! Diane's words from a few nights ago ring in my head.
"For being my friend." I finished lamely and squeezed my eyes shut, feeling like a middle school kid who just confessed to their crush.
"Oh Elizabeth."
I cautiously looked up.
My jaw slacked as tears welled in Diane's eyes.
She smiled wide and pulled me into a tight hug. "I didn't think you'd ever say it!"
Heat flooded my cheeks. "It's not like it's some big confession."
"But it is!" She giggled, leaning back to throw me a bright smile. "Considering where we started, I think it's a pretty damn big development!"
My mind flashed to my first night at the bar. Of her catching me sneaking out and not so subtly threatening me.
"You didn't turn me in." I broached the topic.
She sombered. "No. I didn't."
"Why?"
Diane shrugged. "Not really sure. Just had a feeling about you I guess?"
"You guess." I deadpanned.
"Well…" A mischievous spark overtook her eyes. "I did think my chances at that threesome would be better if I didn't." She winked obnoxiously at me.
But it had the desired effect. I laughed once more and rolled my eyes. "You're insufferable."
"I think you mean adorable!" She stuck her tongue out at me.
It was late afternoon when Diane said her goodbyes. She was headed back to the bar to get the place ready for the dinner rush. It was looking like it was going to be busier than usual, and the bar needed her.
Which was all the better for my plans.
With the bar busy, no one could come and interfere.
Suffice to say, Escanor was less than pleased when I told him I wanted to check out when he came to do his next rounds about twenty minutes later.
He watched me with a hard look that barely concealed the concern in his eyes, "Elizabeth, this is a hospital not a hotel. And as your doctor, I'm going to have to object."
I sighed, knowing it had been a long shot. But I figured at least asking was better than just leaving. No doubt everyone would have a heart attack if I tried.
"You're still weak. What you went through… it's nothing short of a miracle that you're alive." His tone softened, allowing for more of that concern to show, dropping more and more of the doctor act.
"I can't just sit here anymore, Escanor. I have to get back out there."
"Why?"
"Because!" My voice rose unexpectedly, making Escanor's brows shoot up. I hadn't meant to sound so desperate, but there was so much truth to it. I was desperate. I wanted out of this hospital that reminded me of the things that had happened to me. I wanted to be out on the streets being useful.
"Because it's… it's my job. I have to get out there and finish this." I looked down, trying desperately to avoid looking at the still-healing bruises that painted my arm, but failing, "Before someone else gets hurt." I muttered after a moment of studying those marks.
Someone else was going to get hurt if we didn't stop Estarossa or that drug soon.
There was a long dreadful silence, but, finally, he shook his head, "You know, you're more like the rest of them than anyone gives you credit for." He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest, "Always pushing yourself even when you're hurt. That kind of behavior catches-up to you, you know. One day your body won't bounce back so quickly."
I smiled, "I know. But that day isn't today, doc."
He took a long moment to watch me, gauging my seriousness before finally throwing his hands up in literal defeat, "Alright, fine. I'm still against this, but I can't hold you here against your will. I'll go put in the necessary orders and we'll get you discharged in the next hour or so."
I smiled warmly at his retreating form, holding back chuckles at the grumbles he muttered under his breath as he left.
It was a little over two hours later that I made my way out of the hospital doors, taking a deep breath of fresh air and allowing the relief of being outside to wash over me.
The early evening yellows and oranges bled across the sky and the last rays of the sun warmed my too-pale skin, making me hum in contentment, like a cat stretching in a sun spot after a long nap.
"That happy to be out, huh?"
I turned quickly to find Meliodas watching me from across the hospital's entrance, leaning against one of the pillars with his signature grin and a raised brow. Something in his demeanor told me he was agitated though - probably as frustrated as Escanor that I didn't want to stick around and rest.
We started at each other for a few moments.
Was it too late to pretend like I hadn't seen him? Yeah, no, there was no way that was going to fly. Running was probably out of the question too.
It was clear there was a new wall built up between us that I didn't know how to hurdle or if either of us even wanted that. The feelings from our last chat hung heavy in the air.
But I didn't want to go there. Not right now. Not when I felt free for the first time in days.
"What are you doing here? I thought you were back at the bar?" I asked kind of sheepishly. I felt like he'd caught me trying to sneak out. I, of course, kept back the real question I wanted to ask - how he knew I was getting out.
But even without me voicing the question, he answered my thoughts, pushing off the pillar to approach me, slowly. Methodically. "You're leaving the hospital against doctor's orders. You really think Escanor wasn't going to call me?"
Despite the obvious annoyance in his words and the narrowed gaze he held on me, just the act of approaching me seemed to make me flush as I found that steely gaze alluring. I really shouldn't have been as attracted to that look as I currently was. It was doing really weird things to my heart and that was probably bad for my health.
And I felt guilty for having them. What if Meliodas didn't feel the same anymore?
Avoiding the turbulent confusing feelings I suddenly had, I chuckled, shaking my head at the mental image of the good doctor calling Meliodas in a fit after hearing my demands, "Traitor. What ever happened to doctor-patient-privilege?"
Meliodas gave me a knowing grin, "It disappears when you aggravate the doctor who treats you." He chided, his grin deepening at the soft pout I'm sure was on my face. "You really worried him, you know."
"Just him?" I asked, but almost immediately regretted it as his eyes widened, taken back and another heated flush overtook my face.
I wasn't sure what I was fishing for by asking him that. Maybe some sort of confirmation to Margaret's supposed observations. Maybe trying to figure out where we stood after everything that had been discovered?
All the same, he chuckled, that tenderness once more returning to his face. It was reserved; it was cautious and a little brittle, but it was there, "Of course not. I'm here, aren't I?"
I nibbled my lip with a soft nod. But that didn't mean what he had said hadn't stuck with me, "I'm sorry for worrying everyone. I… seem to be doing that a lot recently."
If he was agitated or worried, it didn't last much longer as he visibly relaxed - perhaps seeing me up and around in my usual clothes helped put him at as much ease as it did me. "So, then. Where to?" he asked, not pushing the subject of my escape from care, or continued cause of worry - but making it clear that wherever it was I was going, I wasn't going alone.
My expression faltered as I was suddenly brought back to my intentions.
"I have to check in at the precinct." I chanced a glance at Meliodas, knowing he wasn't going to like that news. And unsurprisingly, found his tempered grin to be replaced with a thoughtful scowl.
"I'm at the time limit. But we've just had a major break in the case. Everything we need is there. I know it is." I swallowed as I thought back on Margaret's words again, "And… he may be my boss, but the chief is still my father. I should see him and my sister since I'm out of the hospital." Though, even I could tell that the latter bit was more forced than it should have been.
Meliodas and I watched as an ambulance pulled up to the curve and a young woman cried as she walked briskly to keep up with the paramedics rushing a man on a gurney through the hospital's entrance.
The scene made me wonder what kind of spectacle there was when they'd brought me in - a line of thought that had me mindlessly rubbing the bruises hidden under my jacket.
"Alright." Meliodas' voice caught me, "I'll take you over there."
I'd expected him to relent to me wanting to go… but I hadn't expected the personal escort. Meliodas was a wanted man. Even if no one could really pin anything on him right now, I'm sure there were a few people there who would love to give it the ol' college try.
"Are you sure?"
He shrugged, unphased by the prospect of being arrested, "Yeah, of course."
I eyed him skeptically as we started to make our way to the van. It was parked in a lot not too far from the entrance, which was good. I was more winded with the short walk than I wanted to admit.
"I got someone I need to see there anyways." Meliodas confessed as he opened the van door.
My brows furrowed, "who?"
"My ol' buddy Howzer of course!" He beamed at me.
"What?"
"Yeah," He shrugged as he got in. I quickly followed him. "We got real close during my time at the precinct."
My head spun. What was he talking about? Melidoas was at the precinct, my precinct? When? And for how long? Also why?
Instead of voicing any of these concerns all that managed to escape my lips was another, "what?"
Meliodas hummed. "I guess we gotta catch you up on a few things."