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Remus floated the ancient trunk his mother had given him when he first left for Hogwarts into the bedroom, but he didn't use magic to empty it. The cargo it contained was too precious to Remus' sanity; he couldn't risk exploding it all over the room. Since the war, Remus had worked his way up from emaciated to whipcord-thin, which suited him just fine because he was desperate to unpack his clothes again, and he thought they just might fit. The fact that he was as skinny as a teenager didn't matter nearly as much as the need he felt now that he was on his own once more.
*****
Ginny Weasley had taken over her mother's proclivities in the face of her grief, gathering all the Order members who had been on the run for the last year into the Burrow, caring for them while Arthur consoled Molly. Eventually, a full house drew Mrs Weasley out again, but one-by-one, they'd each left, knowing they'd have to face the world again. Remus had been one of the first to go, renting a small flat over Scrivenshaft's so he could remain close to Hogwarts to help with the reconstruction. Minerva had offered him a room in the castle, but Remus had always placed his independence first whenever he could afford it.
Between the small war pension Hermione had wrestled from Kingsley and the Ministry and pay from the far larger rebuilding fund for the school, Remus could afford some much-needed solitude. Charms woven into the floors, walls, doors and windows created an excellent barrier against sound between his flat and the store below. Remus couldn't say for sure whether Severus would once again supply him with Wolfsbane, but he still had a few days to make inquiries at the apothecary if Minerva didn't insist upon the brewing as part of Severus's new post.
After Harry had trumpeted Severus' innocence at every service and ceremony immediately following the final battle, as well as in every Prophet interview, the Board of Governors reinstated him at Hogwarts. Severus had immediately promoted Minerva to Headmistress and chose the more administrative position of Assistant Headmaster, working it so he would not be required to teach unless a professor was temporarily incapacitated.
Remus couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy at Severus' hard-won freedom. If Remus wasn't considered a war hero, he doubted he'd have been welcomed anywhere outside of Hogwarts. The story of his survival and his non-marriage to Nymphadora -- although Teddy was well beloved as the new Minister's son -- along with the continued mistrust of werewolves, made most people still wary of Remus. It would take decades to undo the damage Greyback's "recruitment efforts" wrought on the reputation of all lycanthropes.
Envy, however, could not trump Remus' relief that Minerva had been monitoring Severus' condition throughout the battle, saving him with a vial of phoenix tears Albus had left in her care. Barely a handful of students from Remus' year in school still lived. That Severus, someone Remus knew, was one of them gave him a small measure of comfort.
*****
Shaking himself out of reverie, Remus quickly unpacked the clothes he'd gathered over the years to help him past his transformation, draping them over the chair and dresser, trying to decide which piece to use right now. To anyone looking, Remus knew his garments would appear to be fetish gear at best, but as he selected a simple scrap of white, Remus' fingers trembled in anticipation. He shed his clothes and concentrated, stepping carefully into a pair of white, lacy knickers.
As Remus began inching the tight, delicate cloth past his knees, he breathed deeply, emotions rising that he hadn't felt in decades. He'd broken this habit the year he taught at Hogwarts, and the full moon was still three nights away. Yet months of spying, of lies and pretending, and then being forced to accept tender care when there had been none before gave Remus the old, familiar post-transformation sense of disconnection from his own body. Touch always brought Remus back to himself more quickly, and the snug fit of constricting clothes could feel like an embrace if Remus found the right frame of mind while wearing them.
The knickers were still bright-white against his tanned thighs, the lace at the top flimsy and soft, stretching over scarred skin that Remus only sensed when fine hairs were caught in the elastic. Up he moved the filigree mesh, his cock twitching in remembered interest, until the pants were hugging his arse and bollocks snugly. The slip of silk in the front, holding all that lace together, rubbed enticingly against his flesh, and Remus swung his legs over to lay back on the large bed that had come with the flat. He couldn't stop his hips from giving little thrusts to massage himself against the buttery fabric. Slowly, the head of his cock emerged past the scrape of the lace, and soon his full length was trapped flat against his stomach.
With a soft sigh, Remus relaxed against the sheet, reveling in the squeeze of the fabric and the ways it cradled him, making him feel held, secure, and yet also aware of his body. There were leathers and cottons shrunk to be too small within reach with his wand, but Remus was afraid to go too far too fast. What if he needed them again after his transformation, alone and yet wanting to be touched and reminded that his body still belonged to him? Leather trousers that had to be spelled on and a matching vest so tight he could barely breathe were Remus' favourites, clinging to his frame until he felt grounded again. The fact that such clothes also turned him on only spurred the reuniting of Remus' body and mind.
For now, Remus let his fingers drift down to brush over the silk between his legs. He closed his eyes and allowed the barrier of the uncommon fabric fool him into thinking his grasp belonged to someone else.
*****
If Severus had known that Lupin was inside, he never would have picked his way through the tangle of spells Lupin used to lock his door.
He'd knocked for several minutes before the challenge of breaking Lupin's handiwork proved too tempting to resist. Severus had planned to leave a message about meeting to measure Lupin's current physical state to brew his Wolfsbane, and he would then also take the opportunity to needle Lupin about his inferior security and sound-proofing magics. His boyhood desire to make friends with Lupin had been firmly squashed by Black's idea of a prank and Severus' own misguided prejudices. Trading barbs and attempting to force Lupin to lose his veneer of calm were all Severus would allow himself. Even with Voldemort defeated, even with his second chance paid in full, Severus couldn't imagine any other relationship with the former Marauder, no matter how much he had once wished it could be otherwise.
Then again, Severus had never seen Lupin prone on a bed, touching himself, either. Perhaps it was time for a reimagining.
*****
Awareness spread from Remus' touch, from the scratch of the lace-edge and the pull of hairs trapped in its tiny gaps. Slowly, Remus' need changed from grounding to desire. If he now felt lonely, it was a state Remus had been dealing with for far longer, and with much less frippery. He let his hand more firmly caress the length of his cock, which was now lifting the knickers away from his body. The air in the room changed just as he slid his thumb through the scant wetness gathering at the head, and he stilled, opening his eyes.
Severus loomed over him, one hand held out, hovering over the knickers without being close enough for Remus to feel his heat.
"Lupin?" He sounded confused, but there was a hungry look in Severus' eyes that made Remus' heart pound. Severus had needs as well.
Remus let his hand fall to the bed and his fingers dug lightly into the sheet as he lifted his hips closer to that hand frozen in mid-air, offering.
"Severus, touch me."
It may have been a moaned command, but Severus understood it and obeyed, his long, stained fingers dropping onto white silk. Tracing the outline of Remus' cock down to his bollocks, Severus caressed them lightly before moving back up to thumb the slit in the head, just as he had seen moments before.
Remus hissed from the shock of pleasure that gave him, and Severus smirked, moving his thumb in a slow circle.
"Don't you- do you want-" Reaching up, Remus tugged on the sleeve of Severus' voluminous black robes, wishing he had enough presence of mind left to banish them without his wand. Severus stared at Remus for long moments, and he wondered what Severus could be seeing in his mind's eye, if the other man was indeed using Occlumency on him. Remus thought of longing, of arms and legs entwined; he tried to imagine how his lips might fit past Severus' long, crooked nose. Eventually, Severus nodded, pulling his wand, clothed one second and bare the next.
Poppy Pomfrey must have done a better job of forcing Severus to eat than Ginny had Remus. He was only slightly shorter than Remus, but appeared moreso from square shoulders leading down to a narrow waist. A fine, neat layer of black hair covered his arms and legs and created a tempting trail down the front of his stomach to his cock, which hung thick and heavy away from his body. There were some scars and a red blemish where the Dark Mark had once ruled him. It wasn't until Remus lifted his eyes to Severus' face that he noticed the other man's locked jaw and stiff shoulders. His hair was still lank, his nose large, but Remus had long been finding beauty in imperfection, and Severus really did have the most piercing eyes, why had he never noticed them before?
Unconsciously, Remus licked his lips in anticipation, which seemed to be the key to unlocking Severus' frozen stance. He moved onto the bed, straddling Remus, and stretched over him to place his wand beside Remus' on the nightstand. Before Severus could sit up again, Remus had reached up and wrapped his arms around Severus' back and neck, guiding him down until Remus could press gentle kisses to his lips. When Severus' jaw fell open, Remus darted his tongue inside the unfamiliar mouth, finding it slightly tangy and warm inside. Severus dropped to his elbows so he could delve his tongue deep into Remus, and Remus pressed his advantage by wrapping his legs around Severus' calves, forcing the other man to fall fully onto his body.
So much skin! The kisses turned frantic as they writhed against one another, glutting on touch. They were doing little more than fucking with their tongues when their bodies caught up the rhythm, Severus' shaft sliding against silk and Remus' cock, twitching so hard it jerked with each twist of his tongue around Severus'. Remus was sure the lace would rub him raw when Severus growled and rose up to rip the knickers away. He would have laughed at how ridiculous they both were if Severus hadn't immediately bent over Remus' cock and sucked it into his mouth, bobbing and tasting at a furious pace for just long enough to put Remus on the edge as his own patience ran thin. Severus rose and aligned their lengths before pressing down against Remus again, their hips already working to massage their cocks together.
Instead of returning to Remus' mouth, Severus stopped at Remus' hardened nipples, flicking and sucking at them until Remus was moaning constantly from Severus' complete possession of his body. All Remus could do was hold onto the globes of Severus' arse and moan his encouragement, which only seemed to inflame Severus further. When Remus came, he let Severus' name rush out of him with a primal cry. It sounded good echoing off the walls.
Severus hadn't come yet, startled upright into stillness by Remus' scream. Giving Severus a lazy smile, Remus reached between them, gathering his moisture so he could run both hands easily up and down Severus' shaft. He freed one hand to use the access Severus gave him, slipping under tight bollocks to massage Severus along. However, Severus' eyes were open a bit too wide, as if he were afraid to lose control completely, and Remus felt his stomach drop as he realised he not only completely understood that fear, but that he wanted to drive it from Severus so it would never return.
Thoughts of whispering to Severus to let go, he could catch him, filled Remus' mind, but all he could do was keep moving. He brushed calloused fingers up Severus' neck to entangle limp hair, holding onto Severus tightly as he let the nails of his other hand scrape the underside of Severus' cock. With a grunt, Severus came and Remus moved with him, gentler and gentler until he had wrung all the pleasure he could from Severus.
Raising himself up just to be closer, Remus found Severus meeting him halfway, kissing him as he pushed Remus back down to the bed, covering him with his body. As their breathing slowed, Severus buried his head in the pillow past Remus' shoulder, tension creeping over him like the tide coming in no matter how hard Remus held onto him.
*****
"I shall reimburse you for the knickers."
Of all the things Remus imagined Severus would say to break the silence, talk of his scanties hadn't been one of them. Still, he managed to turn his immediate reaction into a cough instead of laughter, and Severus didn't lift his head from Remus' shoulder.
"Did you like them?" At this, Severus finally rose enough so he could scoot down and rest his pointed chin on Remus' chest, a weapon in waiting as he examined Remus' face for signs of mockery.
"The frills itched," Severus said slowly, as if Remus were trying to trick him into saying something embarrassing.
"I could buy others."
"This-" Severus moved his leg up so he barely pushed against Remus' spent bollocks. "Is acceptable."
"It sounds like we mean to do this again." Remus held his breath. It might have been blind lust that drove them together, but Remus had almost always liked Severus, or at least found him intriguing. They could be good together...
"No." Severus shook his head and rose from the bed, rolling onto his feet with remarkable speed. Remus closed his eyes and fought to keep his emotions in check. Rejection, at least, was another familiar sensation; he certainly wasn't feeling disconnected anymore.
"Not until we alter your poor attempt at a silencing spell to allow us to hear anyone knocking at your door." Severus swept them both clean with a spell and pulled on what must have been his boxers before striding purposefully toward the other room. Remus was sitting up, grinning stupidly when Severus paused at Remus' unpacked collection. He touched the supple, brown leather of the vest and trousers Remus had laid out with a brush of his fingertips.
"These, I like," he said firmly, ignoring Remus' relieved laughter as he went to remedy Remus' spell, anticipating another go that might be interrupted, but would at least be unobserved.
-30-