Work Text:
Squinting his eyes at his boyfriend of five years, Donghyuck clears his throat slightly, hopefully a little bit more obnoxiously to gain attention from the other after having been ignored in favor of a university assignment he’s been doing since the beginning of the week. Donghyuck doesn’t really understand what the assignment’s about due to the fact that Mark is a chemistry major while Donghyuck is studying economy in his last year of high school, so he tries to understand that his assignment should be difficult, yet the whiny side of him that requires a certain quota of affection each day is suffering and might just be a little bit more than a little irked with his boyfriend.
When he fails to pull Mark’s attention away from his assignment, Donghyuck allows a little groan to leave his lips as he pushes his body to slump on the plush velvet seat of one of the chairs beside Mark’s study desk specifically for Donghyuck. Since Mark has moved to his own apartment in between Donghyuck’s high school which is also close to his parents’ home and his university after his mandatory one-year stay at the dorms, Donghyuck has made it his official second home, coming in after school on days he doesn’t have any other after-school commitments to, well, commit to and sleeping over on weekends whenever he doesn’t have any family responsibilities to tend to. It’s led to Mark’s study desk being moved from its original horizontal position by the windows to a vertical position, giving them both their own wide space to work with as they sit opposite of each other, studying their own subjects individually, simply enjoying having the other’s presence with them.
Other than studying, which Donghyuck appears to almost never do when he’s with Mark with the excuse of “Why should I study when my boyfriend is right in front of me?”, Donghyuck utilizes his seat opposite of Mark to rest as he simply admires the older doing his university work, adoring the way the warm sunlight peeks through the little opening Mark has allowed as a source of light in his room falling on Mark’s milky fair skin, his fingers which tightly holds his pencil as he draws lines and scribbles on the piece of paper full of other sketches and words foreign to Donghyuck. He adores the little details of Mark, how the other bites the inside of his lower lip slightly when he’s concentrating, the swipes of his tongue after he finishes sketching one thing and immediately moves onto another as if that’s his little way of celebrating his tiny success. Mark’s dark chocolate hair falls on his forehead, covering it messily yet Donghyuck can still see the creases adorning his forehead, his eyebrows scrunched together in silent frustration.
“Hm.” Donghyuck hums to himself, settling his elbows on the table as he leans forward. His fingers nimbly move to adjust Mark’s hair, pushing it back while the older continues on with his work. Gently, Donghyuck takes his thumb to carefully stroke in between of Mark’s eyebrows and up to his forehead, causing the older to glance up at Donghyuck in question.
“What?” Mark questions, lifting his eyebrows up towards the other.
Donghyuck shrugs his shoulders, pulling his hands to himself again, bringing a finger up to point to his own forehead. “You were wrinkling like my grandfather.” Donghyuck replies, eliciting an airy breath of laughter from Mark.
“Yeah, this assignment’s really starting to stress me out.” Mark says, shifting in his seat as he moves back, resting himself on his seat which is a simple black chair, evidently less extravagant than Donghyuck’s.
“Really? Damn, I didn’t know that, Mark. I totally didn’t realize how you were about to make yourself go bald from all the things you’re scribbling on the paper.” Donghyuck snipes back sarcastically, eyeing the paper which looks terrible with multiple words smudged and some even over laying each other, random parts wrinkled with leftover pencil marks from Mark having pressed too hard on his pencil, making it unable to be erased from the paper. “Why do future doctors have ugly handwriting, anyways? The pharmacists are going to prescribe the wrong medication because they can’t read your God awful handwriting.”
“I’m a future chemist, Hyuckie.” Mark giggles, smiling a gentle and relaxed smile at the other, his eyes full of evident love and admiration which Donghyuck catches, feeling heat rise up to his cheeks as he averts his attention from the older to look out the window.
“Same thing applies. Someone’s going to add the wrong metal powder into a mixture and it’s going to explode.” Donghyuck huffs, folding his arms on top of one another as he eyes the blue, cloudless sky of Seoul. “It’s a really pretty day today.” Donghyuck sighs out, smiling to himself.
If there had to be anything else in this world that Donghyuck loved as much as he loved Mark, it would have to be cloudless days where the Sun shines brightly and radiates warmth to Donghyuck. It simply felt comfortable and nice to him to be under the Sun during these days. It gives him the overflowing feeling of the day going right, that nothing could cease his day from constantly becoming better if the Sun is already saying it’s going to be a pretty and good day.
“Do you wanna go out?” Mark asks absentmindedly, hands already moving to organize his things on his table, already knowing the answer Donghyuck is about to give him.
“If you’re okay with it.” Donghyuck answers sincerely, reaching out to grab Mark’s pencils of different colors as well as erasers and rulers to be kept inside his pencil box.
“I’m always okay to do anything with you.” Mark says quietly, voice barely above a whisper, yet it doesn’t fail to impact both of their hearts, feeling as if it were about to jump out of their chests.
“You’re so sappy.” Donghyuck laughs slightly, the warmth in his chest expanding and overtaking his whole body.
☕
The streets of Seoul, especially during peak hours, near subway stations and streets which make popular tourist destinations, are often times crowded with South Korea popularizing traveling with their advanced public transportations more compared to purchasing their own vehicle as a means of transport. People are always brisk walking to catch up to their bus and trains, not wanting to be late to reach to their destination. This situation helps Mark and Donghyuck to at least be able to link their pinkies together as they walk closely with one another, avoiding the waves of people coming from either directions of them and huddling together when someone tries to move pass them from behind. After all, coming out to your family and friends was one thing, but being together in public was another for both of them, especially for Mark who frequently feels disgruntled, uncomfortable and shy whenever it came to public displays of affection whether it be regarding coming out as a gay couple or not, to which Donghyuck understands and respects wholly.
“Come here a little.” Donghyuck whispers, thumb moving to stroke Mark’s wrist in their own way of communicating with one another. “People are coming out from the subway. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You never lose me whether or not we’re close together, though.” Mark says, looking at his boyfriend with a teasing glint in them. “You always have your eyes on me.”
“Don’t get cocky. I could leave you right here and take a different train line without you knowing which.” Donghyuck threats emptily, shoving the other lightly with his shoulders.
“Oh, sorry.” Mark murmurs to a stranger who he accidentally bumps into when Donghyuck shoved him a few seconds ago, lifting his hand up in apology.
“See? You can’t even get shoved a millimeter to the side without bumping into someone. Just come closer.” Donghyuck urges Mark, looking at the older boy exasperated.
“Just say you want me to come closer, Hyuckie.” Mark retaliates with a smile, yet moving closer nonetheless.
“I just told you not to get cocky.” Donghyuck replies to the other as he skips down the stairs of the subway, his steps light with Mark following close behind him.
“You like me too much to care.” Mark says in an octave and volume only Donghyuck would be able to catch.
Donghyuck turns behind to look at the older, and there’s a wave of emotions in his eyes as he rolls them jokingly towards Mark. Mark doesn’t need a reply to know what Donghyuck is saying and what he’s thinking, but he’s pretty sure it’s along the lines of, “God, you don’t even know half of it.”. Mark shakes his head as he follows Donghyuck through the subway, his heart feeling warm and content.
They work more on avoiding people in the subway then, taking their T-Money cards out earlier than needed to prevent any unwanted situations where they get stuck in front of the entrance to the trains and cause other patrons to be annoyed with them. They swipe their cards at entrances beside one another, and Donghyuck pulls Mark by his short sleeve to a small convenience store inside the station, handing Mark his T-Money card in the process.
“Do you want any?” Donghyuck asks Mark as he skillfully makes his way to the fridges with beverages among the cramped space of the store.
“Banana milk.” Mark calls out to the other as he hands his and Donghyuck’s T-Money cards to the cashier and a 20,000 korean won bill.
“10,000 for each?” The cashier asks for confirmation, already tapping on the screen of the device in front of her to reload the cards.
“Yes, please.” Mark answers politely as she does her work, while Donghyuck comes beside him the second she hands him their cards.
Donghyuck places three banana milks, two strawberry milks and one chocolate milk on the counter. He takes out his wallet from his back pocket, waiting for the cashier to check everything and place it inside a plastic bag before getting money out. Once he sees the 8,600 on the screen in front of him, he hands the exact amount to the cashier, nodding his head with a “Thank you.” before grabbing the bag, sliding his fingers under the plastic bags holder as he walks out of the store, moving to stand in front of the door’s large glass windows for a while.
“Can you take out a strawberry one for me?” Donghyuck gestures to Mark, lifting the bag up as he inserts the extra change into his wallet, before pocketing it in his back pocket.
“Of course.” Mark replies, fishing the milk out from the bag. “You got anywhere you wanna go specifically?” Mark questions while Donghyuck fumbles with poking the straw in.
“Not really, but I kinda wanna check out some cafes near your university.” Donghyuck says, before letting out a yelp of “Yes!” when he finally pokes the straw in.
“Near my university? Why?” Mark asks, confused with his boyfriend’s request.
“Why not?” Comes the vague answer, as per usual, and Mark looks at his boyfriend with curiosity and distrust plastered on his features to which Donghyuck scoffs at. “Come on, I’m not going to burn one of the cafes or something for existing near your university, Mark. I’m not that much of an attention seeker.”
“I mean…” Mark begins, looking at Donghyuck with a joking smile.
“I only want your attention, not the attention of the police.” Donghyuck says easily, relishing in the subtle pink hue on Mark’s cheeks when he answers with a, “Whatever.”
☕
“There’s a lot of cafes here, don’t you think?” Donghyuck chirps to Mark, eyes fleeting from one cafe sign to another, admiring all of the different shapes of cafes with unique interior decorations.
Mark and Donghyuck are walking up and down a random street after aimlessly looking for somewhere interesting to indulge in soon after they left the subway station. Their arms are linked together, with both of Donghyuck’s hands securing his grip on Mark’s arm and Mark’s hands in his jean’s pocket. Mark merely acknowledges Donghyuck’s statement with a hum, moreso wanting to focus on the feeling of having Donghyuck close to him rather than to give his attention to his surroundings.
“Excuse me, are you paying attention to me?” Donghyuck questions, tone unhappy with Mark’s lack of response.
“I always am, Hyuckie.” Mark replies, looking at his boyfriend this time, a small smile playing on his lips as he sees the pout Donghyuck is sporting on his own.
“Pay more attention to me!” Donghyuck whines, tugging on Mark’s arm.
“I think I pay a lot of attention to you already, though.” Mark says, though he does move his hands to hold Donghyuck’s hand smoothly, to which a little grin appears on Donghyuck’s face as a response.
The street they’re currently at has more foreigners than other streets in Korea, and they’re both aware that it’s mostly because though Koreans enjoy their coffee and sweet delicacies often, the majority of Koreans would rather be in a Korean restaurant, eating authentic Korean food rather than desserts from other countries. The sight of more foreigners being open with one another, holding hands and displaying their love out in the open makes Mark feel a little more confident in showing his love towards Donghyuck in public.
“Oh yeah, how?” Donghyuck challenges Mark nonetheless, fingers curling to fit with Mark’s perfectly.
“Like how I want to focus more on you being pressed up beside me than to see all the cafe signs.” Mark replies easily, honestly, straightforwardly, yet his voice is low and shy, and Donghyuck can’t help but to be completely taken in by the older.
“Sometimes, I regret asking you questions that make both of us embarrassed.” Donghyuck replies jokingly, and they both share a light laugh together, simply walking down the streets.
“Hey, isn’t that the Shinjuku toast or something that you’ve been talking about recently?” Mark asks, nudging his shoulder to Donghyuck’s, as he comes to a halt, eyes trained on a menu of the cafe beside Donghyuck’s left.
“Huh?” Donghyuck asks, mildly confused before his eyes turn to the menu laid out on a podium outside a busy cafe, and sure enough, it showcases one of the Shinjuku toasts that Donghyuck has been asking Mark to go look for with him around Seoul for the past month, yet they’ve failed more often than not, whether it be because the toast didn’t taste any good or because they simply couldn’t locate the toast. “Yeah, actually, and oh, it’s from one of the cafes that people were raving about.”
“We could’ve saved all that money before if we knew this place was so close to home.” Mark sighs out, already pulling Donghyuck to enter the cafe.
“Hey, at least we got good dates out of it.” Donghyuck retaliates, tone sounding offended yet they both know it’s all in good nature.
“Hello there, will there only be two of you? And will you be dining in?” A waiter asks them as soon as they open the door and the bell rings, signalling their arrival.
“Yes, there’s only two of us and we’ll be eating in.” Mark answers him, to which he smiles at him charmingly with a nod.
“Alright, please wait for a bit. I’ll look for a table for you.” The waiter replies, and Donghyuck catches the name tag he has pinned on his uniform which reads, ‘Jaemin’.
“Okay, thank you so much.” Donghyuck says beside Mark, giving the waiter his own bright smile, and the other looks mildly surprised before he smiles again, much softer this time, while Mark feels pride blooming in his chest, perfectly aware of how Donghyuck’s smile can always make anyone’s day, the type of smile that skillfully tugs on one’s heartstrings.
The waiter leaves the two for a few minutes, and Mark briefly glances at him calling out to the other waiters in a controlled volume, asking regarding any open seats. He then proceeds to take in the surroundings of the cafe. By no means is it small, in fact, it seems larger than a majority of other cafes. The interior is decorated with plenty of beige and mahogany. The floors are a pristine, glossy wood while the walls are painted a soft brown. There are lines of tables against the glass, overlooking the outside street, and more at the back where Mark could see small peeks of a garden amidst the wave of people in the cafe. The counter, Mark notices, is separated into two in the middle, where the cashier is. On the left side is where the coffee orders are being made, the scent of caffeine wafting in the air. Meanwhile, the right has glass, tinted windows, slightly showcasing the kitchen crew inside, most likely making desserts that Mark sees in the display cases.
“It’s really pretty in here.” Mark mumbles to Donghyuck, who hums in agreement.
“It’s got that really nice environment, don’t you think? Relaxing and stuff.” Donghyuck adds, as he sweeps his eyes across the other customers of the cafe, noticing that some are hunched with books in front of them and that there are bookcases at the back of the cafe, all full of titles Donghyuck recognizes from his high school’s library as well as some from Mark’s own university courses. “I think students always come here to study.”
“It’s a perfect place to study.” Mark states, also looking over at the students studying at the back.
“I’m sorry for the wait, but I can take you to your seats now, if you would follow me.” The waiter, Jaemin, arrives in front of them, a genuine smile plastered on his face as he turns his body to face the inside of the cafe.
“Of course.” Mark replies, and Jaemin maneuvers the two carefully between the many tables, taking them onto a platform where most of the two-people seats are located.
The platform is secured with wooden railings around it, and the only way in and out is through the opening at the front. It has clean cut wood tables, and plush leather seats. A possibly neon light sign situates itself in the middle of the wall of the platform, little hearts with the words, “With my beloved.” on it. Mark is acutely aware of all the other couples surrounding them now, and he turns his head to question Jaemin.
“Ah, yes. If you’re wondering, this is a couple’s area. It’s more secluded and it gives more privacy to couples on dates.” Jaemin answers before Mark could ask, his smile now turning into a mischievous grin.
Mark is flustered as he tries to reply, but Donghyuck is quick to open his own mouth, happy at the other noticing them as a couple. “Great, because having a date where my boyfriend will focus on only me is the perfect kind of date!” Donghyuck says giddily, and Mark is positive his face has turned a scarlet red, while Jaemin simply laughs at the two.
He takes them to a more private corner, with a much more relaxing and intimate ambience compared to the other parts of the cafe where family, friends and students bustle about loudly with their own businesses. The table is already equipped with two pairs of serviettes, two pairs of chopsticks, forks, spoons, and table knives. They settle themselves down opposite of one another, and when Jaemin leaves after handing them the menu and a, “Just click on the button on the wall and we’ll come to you.”, they look at each other and sigh.
“Y’know,” Mark starts first, and Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at him. “I always focus on you during dates.”
Donghyuck bursts out laughing then, quickly covering his mouth as he realizes the other waiters and waitresses looking at them with a jolt of surprise, but the giggles still leave his lips. “That’s what you were worried about?” Donghyuck teases, and Mark shrugs his shoulders off as if it were nothing, but Donghyuck can see the little body languages of how his shoulders hunch together and his head droops a little lower. “It’s okay, Mark. I know.”
The rest of their time in the cafe goes by smoothly. They order the toasts Donghyuck has been looking forward to, and Mark orders a banana milkshake while Donghyuck orders a caramel slush and plain water. The toast is the best that they’ve tried, and Donghyuck says that they don’t have to go out looking for it anymore. The drinks are just as great, with Donghyuck saying he could probably make them at home if he could find the right ingredients. When they go up front to pay their bill, Donghyuck notices the job vacancy poster they displayed on the counter.
“Oh, hey. Are you still looking for workers?” Donghyuck asks the cashier, whose name is Jeno based on his name tag.
“Yes, we are! Are you interested?” He questions Donghyuck with a wide eye smile.
“What do you think, Mark? You could do your studies here while I work! It’s a win-win situation.” Donghyuck asks Mark, a pout forming on his lips. “Please?”
“Why not?” Mark replies, and Donghyuck lets out a silent celebratory whoop, hugging Mark by the waist.
Mark, then, didn’t really realize what he signed himself up for. All he knew was that Donghyuck was cheering, happy, bright eyes shining and even brighter smile glowing. All he knew was that he was overwhelmed with love as he sees a happy Donghyuck.
☕
It has been a week since Donghyuck began working at the cafe, and Mark is thankful for the fact that he took up morning classes everyday of the week since Donghyuck takes the evening schedule due to high school classes, and Mark’s classes ends either at 5:00 P.M. or 7:00 P.M. depending on the day. It allows them plenty of time to see each other, despite Donghyuck working while Mark tries to study.
“Tries” because Mark is finding it difficult to study after the first day of Donghyuck working there, where customers had began shamelessly flirting with Donghyuck. Mark didn’t realize it at first, simply keeping to himself at his seat near the counter which was luckily empty and near Donghyuck, too, as he works as a barista cum cashier for the cafe. However, when he hears Donghyuck’s laughter bellowing, he lifts his eyes to see the beautiful smile on his boyfriend’s face, his eyes crinkling with stars in them.
Always, often, frequently, Mark would tell Donghyuck that he was the more tamed of the two, having much more emotional control. He prided in the fact that he was more cool headed compared to Donghyuck, often joking about how adorable Donghyuck could be when he was jealous. Mark never really had a reason to be jealous towards anyone around Donghyuck. He had always been positive of his stand in Donghyuck’s life, trusting his boyfriend, and he knew Donghyuck trusted him too, though the younger says he couldn’t trust others.
Mark used to wave that off, not understanding the claim, but as he had felt himself immediately glaring at the tall, handsome customer who looked like he was a mix of something Asian, distaste growing in his chest, Mark feels like Donghyuck might actually be right for once regarding his feelings without overdramatizing it as he often liked to do just for fun. Therefore, Mark has now unofficially claimed the spot near the cashier as his to keep an eye on Donghyuck and the regular customers, and Jaemin is suspiciously simply happy to aid Mark in ensuring the seat is free whenever Mark comes around.
“Stop glaring. I’m the one who feels embarrassed.” Renjun says in front of Mark, taking a sip out of his drink. “You didn’t even bother bringing your books. Just your laptop, and you’re not even trying to look at it.”
“Whose side are you on?” Mark huffs angrily, eyes still never leaving Donghyuck who was working wonders with the machines and pumping out syrup after syrup in the cup of the customer to make their order.
Donghyuck turns to look at Mark then after pumping in some hazelnut syrup, waving his hands to the older, his smile shining and he looks so genuinely happy to be working there. Mark lifts his hand to wave towards Donghyuck, however Jeno steals Donghyuck’s attention before he could do so, poking at Donghyuck’s waist and having the younger boy yelp, turning around to face Jeno with a pout. Jeno laughs at Donghyuck, making a teasing baby face towards him, before Donghyuck is flushing an awfully pretty pink and he smacks Jeno with the cup, who nuzzles his nose to Donghyuck’s cheek lightly before moving on to his job.
“Oh hell no.” Mark says, face contorting in offense.
“Oh hell no, indeed.” Renjun replies, stepping on Mark’s foot to make sure the older doesn’t move away from the table and proceed to act out in a, for lack of better words, stupid way.
“Hey! That hurt!” Mark whines, looking at Renjun.
“And what would hurt you more is when you go up there and tell Donghyuck he can’t make any friends at his workplace which he clearly enjoys working at.” Renjun hisses venomously towards Mark, to which the older cowers back in his seat at.
“I’m sorry.” He murmurs apologetically, and Renjun sighs at him.
“You need to keep your feelings in check. What happened to cool and suave Mark Lee who only laughed when he caught Donghyuck and I kissing at the back porch?” Renjun asks Mark, who rolls his eyes at the question.
“You two threw up on each other afterwards, and Donghyuck and I weren’t even dating yet then.” Mark says easily.
“How about that time when you walked in on Chenle straddling Donghyuck?”
“They were playing a game and I know how they can end up wrestling whenever one of them loses three games in a row.”
“I hate how you can come up with excuses easily like this. Maybe if you used more time with emotional control towards strangers who don’t even know Donghyuck that well, I would be wasting my Saturday away snoozing off instead of staying here with you.” Mark looks at Renjun with a face that said, “Yeah, sure. Go off.”. No matter what Renjun says, Mark knows Renjun would be with him despite any small worries he has, Renjun ready to act as Mark’s best friend and throw in the first punch on anyone who dared to make him sad.
“You’re also here to see the guy who keeps on flirting with Donghyuck.” Mark says cooly, stirring his Chocolate Chip Slush in the cup.
“Isn’t it guys?” Renjun asks without thinking, and Mark glares at him pointedly. “Calm down there, you damn grumpy lion cub. I’m just asking.”
“Don’t rub it in my face that people are falling for my boyfriend left and right and I can’t do anything about it.” Mark grumbles out, sighing as he looks at the blank page of a Word document in front of him, realizing that he was suppose to do a spreadsheet table of the amounts of mixtures he’s done the previous week and the results instead of doing it in a Word document.
The bell rings then, and Renjun lets out a low whistle. “Oh, he looks handsome.”
“What? You never say that about random people-” Mark stops mid-sentence as he looks back to see one of the customers in the past week that has flirted with Donghyuck walk up to the counter.
Donghyuck’s smile seems to shine even more then, with his eyes twinkling with mischief and happiness at the sight of the, Mark assumes, older male. Mark has realized the two have gotten closer over the week, briefly laughing together often, and even exchanging “I’ll see you tomorrow”s instead of the usual “Goodbye”s.
“Your glare is showing.”
“I really don’t care.” Mark seethes, adjusting his body to be able to get a good view of the counter, Donghyuck and the stranger.
“Oh God, you’re so damn embarrassing.” Renjun mumbles, facepalming as he looks away from Mark’s ridiculous self.
“Jaehyun hyung!” Donghyuck chirps, giggling as the older comes up front.
“Hyung? When the hell did he start calling strangers ‘hyung’? He doesn’t even call me hyung!” Mark says incredulously, volume low while Renjun answers him with a simple, “You told him not to call you ‘hyung’, dumbass, and you know how quick Donghyuck is to make friends with strangers.” which Mark promptly ignores.
“Hey there, cutie.” The stranger, Jaehyun, says easily with a handsome smile on his face, dimples showcasing.
“Shut up.” Donghyuck mumbles out in embarrassment, though the fond smile is still on his face. “Your usual order?”
“Yeah, but add you to the order too!” Jaehyun says happily, and Donghyuck laughs at him, all bright and shining gold.
“Maybe if you weren’t a broke college student, you would’ve been able to afford me.” Donghyuck replies smoothly, to which Jaehyun shrugged at.
“Hey, I’m trying to get money to afford you, okay?”
Right at that moment, Mark’s brain short-circuited and his hands move speedily across the table, causing his laptop to almost tumble down to the floor. Mark lets out a high pitched squeak as he tries to catch it in his arms before it breaks and crumbles into heaps of hardware. Jaehyun turns back to look at Mark, eyes confused as Donghyuck’s glittering eyes sparkle at Mark. God , Mark thinks, he’s gorgeous .
“Are you okay there, Mark?” Donghyuck questions the other, and Jaehyun’s eyes seem to have a have a spark of familiar amusement in them that Mark misses but Renjun catches, lifting his eyebrows towards Jaehyun who realizes Renjun was eyeing him.
“I’m fine, just dandy! Never been better to be spending some good time with Renjun, y’know? Haha!” Mark chokes out awkwardly, in full English, and he feels like smacking himself at the back of his head when he hears Renjun snort beside him.
“That’s great, man. Wouldn’t want your laptop breaking into pieces. University life is tough without it.” Jaehyun says amusedly in a complete English sentence too, his smile and dimple soft and visible, and Mark curses him for both being handsome and multilingual.
☕
“Literally, fuck handsome people.” Mark says into the phone, and he can’t see it, but he’s pretty sure Taeyong is flinching on the other side at his cuss word, unused to his little brother cursing in front of him even though he’s heard him cursing since he was 13.
“I take offense to that.” Taeyong says to him, not knowing what else to say as he fiddles with his fingers. “Anyways, so why don’t you just talk with Donghyuck about this?”
“Are you crazy? You want me to talk with Hyuckie about me being jealous? Hell no.” Mark states, and Taeyong hears some rustling in the background and a chair screeching.
“Why not? Your Leo pride and ego taking over your senses?” Taeyong asks with a tired smile.
“What- I- Maybe! But I don’t want Hyuckie to think he has one over me!” Mark whines, being very vocal about how much he hates it when Donghyuck begins teasing him about something, especially when it concerns the boy with stars in his eyes and the glow of the Sun in his smile.
“Mhm. And what did you say this customer’s name was?” Taeyong asks Mark, who begins to let out a loud groan.
“God, I absolutely hate him, hyung. His name is Jaehyun, freaking Jaehyun! Even his name is pretty, what the heck? He has dimples. Dimples! You know how many people are suckers for dimples! Remember that time when Hyuckie couldn’t stop pinching that kid at your kindergarten’s cheeks because he had dimples? Hyung, he looked like he was a second close to pinching Jaehyun’s cheeks. What the actual Hell?” Mark begins ranting, and he continues on anyways. “And his voice is so soft and baritone. You know Hyuckie likes people with good voices, and his voice wasn’t only good, his voice was amazing. He might just be Chenle’s sibling or whatever because it was like angels blessed him with the vocals, hyung. I don’t like him at all.”
“You actually sound like you like him quite a lot.” Taeyong says absentmindedly.
“Why would I like a guy who’s flirting with my boyfriend?!” Mark shouts, turning around on his bed to face the wall to glare at.
“Was he flirting or just being friendly, though?” Taeyong asks to confirm, and Mark lets out a ridiculous squeak.
“Hyung, he called Hyuckie ‘cutie’! Who calls their friends ‘cutie’?” Mark seethes out.
“You call Chenle ‘cutie’. Even Sicheng and he’s a good two years older than you.”
“Yeah, but they’re my friends! Who does this Jaehyun dude think he is?” Mark says pettily and Taeyong shrugs, even though he knows his brother can’t see him.
“I don’t know, but he sounds really nice from what you’ve been saying.”
“A man going after a taken person! And that person just so happens to be my boyfriend!”
“But did you ever tell people that he’s taken? And you don’t want to talk about this with Donghyuck either. It’s also partly his fault that people are flirting with him if you think about it.”
“It might be, but I trust Hyuckie and I-”
“Mark.” Taeyong sighs out. “Communicate, Mark. Don’t keep negative feelings in.”
Mark lets out another whiny sound, before he replies with, “Whatever, hyung. I have to call Hyuckie now.”
“Have fun falling in love all over again.” Taeyong says with a smile, before he ends the call. Once he does, he turns to the boy in front of him who has a shit-eating grin presenting widely on his face. “Go on and laugh, you asshole.”
Jaehyun laughs at the cue, laughing so hard that he’s slapping his thighs, even pulling Taeyong on his lap to hug, encircling his arms around his waist as he laughs never endingly. “I can’t believe he didn’t realize it was me! And he’s seen me like, what? Thrice this week? He even knows my name! Doesn’t he remember me? Even Donghyuck remembers me!”
“The last time he saw you before all of this was during his birthday last year and you had Grim Reaper’s makeup on. You literally made him faint.” Taeyong says, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend. “Only Donghyuck remembers you because he was also the one who put the makeup on you, doofus.”
“Damn, I’m having so much fun. And he literally just stated every good thing about me.” Jaehyun says with a smile painting his features, obviously flattered at the younger boy’s words that he heard through the loudspeaker a second ago.
“He doesn’t know the Jaehyun who’s doing this thing. Were you really flirting with Donghyuck, though?” Taeyong questions the other. “I thought you were just talking with him and stuff at the counter.”
“Yeah, we usually do that, but I saw Mark with a friend today at the cafe and I thought, ‘Damn, he must be affected. Let’s play with him some more.’” Jaehyun says proudly.
“I feel bad for him, Hyunnie. He really needs to start talking with Donghyuck.” Taeyong says sadly, landing his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.
“Me too, but like. Donghyuck asked for this, y’know? I don’t think it’s 100% okay because I’d like it for Mark to get used to things by himself and open up without any push, but sometimes… Sometimes you need to know, before you fuck things up.” Jaehyun says, nostalgia filling him as he holds Taeyong tighter in his arms.
“It’s alright.” Taeyong murmurs to Jaehyun’s ear, pecking a patch of skin under it.
“Oh yeah, Yukhei’s in on this too, by the way.”
“Fuck all of you. I am never letting you meet Mark after this. You can just live with knowing you’re making my baby brother go through an angst phase.”
☕
Once again, Mark finds himself sitting at his usual spot in front of the counter, but today, he arrives an hour earlier than usual due to his last class of the day having been cancelled abruptly by his professor because of personal reasons that stay classified from him. He doesn’t bother with the details though, as he situates himself in place, taking out his chemistry books and extra worksheets he printed out earlier at university.
“Hey, Mark.” Yerim appears in front of him, iPad in hand, ready to take Mark’s order of the day.
“Hi.” Mark replies the other, wearing an immediate polite smile. “I’ll have the pink lemonade today and the brownies with ice cream.”
“Pink lemonade?” Donghyuck asks from his position at the counter, having just came out from the staff room after changing his clothes to his working attire, the chocolate brown apron and cream dress shirt looking awfully radiant on him.
“Got a problem with that, Hyuckie?” Mark shoots at his boyfriend, a playful smirk on his face.
“Uh, yes. Here I am, professional barista, ready to make you the best damn coffee you could ever have anywhere, and you ask for a lemonade. I’m not even going to be the one making your drink.” Donghyuck says haughtily, pouting at the older.
“You two can keep up your bickering since lunch hour just ended recently and the cafe doesn’t have many people, but I’m going to be a responsible person and get Mark’s order.” Yerim says to the pair, laughing prettily as she taps on her iPad and moves away from the two. “Oh yeah, and Donghyuck, your shift doesn’t start for another half an hour, so you can just sit with Mark until then.”
“I would’ve sat with him anyways since there’s no people.” Donghyuck says happily, exiting from behind the counter to sit with Mark, taking off his apron and folding it to ensure people don’t think he’s slacking off before his shift even starts.
“Hey there, gorgeous.” Mark says immediately once Donghyuck is seated in front of him, and the other looks at him surprised.
“What’s with the sudden endearment term? You think I’m gonna pay for your lemonade?” Donghyuck jokes, picking up one of Mark’s papers to look through, and Mark knows Donghyuck is simply hiding his shy smile behind the paper if the way he holds the paper right in front of his whole face is anything to get by.
“Not really. I just… felt like saying that to you.” Mark says after a moment of hesitation, trying to find the right words to use.
Donghyuck raises a brow at the words Mark says, unconvinced and curious at the older’s actual motives. Mark, though subtly affectionate and endearing, almost never publicly calls Donghyuck such things, especially in an enclosed space such as a cafe. What Donghyuck doesn’t know, though, is Mark’s current state: restless, mildly annoyed, and simply not wanting to be a spectator of a stranger flirting with his boyfriend later. He knows he’ll see it, because it happens everyday with different customers, but it doesn’t ease the little lion in him, growling and upset, wanting to just have Donghyuck sit on his lap, so others could see that Donghyuck wasn’t available for flirtatious advances.
Unfortunately, Mark is a coward, so he settles for little terms of endearment, in hopes that it would be obvious to others around them that Donghyuck and he are together, romantically.
“I don’t believe you.” Donghyuck states, as he passes the paper back towards Mark, who gratefully takes it and skims through it, not paying heed to his boyfriend’s words. “I’m going to find out why, but not now.”
“Mhm, if there’s anything to even find.” Mark says easily, looking at his boyfriend with bored eyes in hopes that Donghyuck would let it go and allow Mark to be jealous silently.
“There is, Mark Lee. I’ve been stuck to you since I was four, I’d know when there’s something you’re hiding.” Donghyuck says, yet when he does, he stumbles on his last words, clearing his throat and averting his eyes.
The little fluster in his tone as he says it catches Mark’s attention. He knows very well what it means, since Donghyuck only automatically does the tiny habit whenever he thinks, midway through his sentence, that what he said was wrong and he has no right to say it. It happened when they argued before Mark graduated high school, with Donghyuck proclaiming loudly that Mark had said he would stay as long as he could, yet Mark had missed Donghyuck’s piano recital in favor of speaking with his counselor about his options afterwards. Donghyuck’s speech stuttered at the end, and Mark could see the questions swimming in him, wondering if Mark really would stay. It had been a messy event, but they managed to work through it together, just like they’ve promised each other since they were in middle school.
Mark opens his mouth, ready to provide Donghyuck with some semblance of comfort with his words, but Doyoung, Donghyuck’s older co-worker and boss, is already coming out from the counter, calling for Donghyuck with a, “Donghyuck, customers are coming in soon and I need your help to fill up the displays again. You can stick yourself on Mark later.”
“Okay, hyung! I’m coming!” Donghyuck replies to the older, standing up from his seat in front of Mark.
While he stands, Mark subtly reaches over to him, hands going to caress at the younger’s waist in an attempt to soothe his emotions down before he begins work. It merely lasts a millisecond, Mark still apprehensive in public and pulling his hands away soon, yet it does wonders to Donghyuck as Mark sees his eyes sparkle again with a bright flame dancing with glee in them, his smile sweet and warm, enveloping Mark with relief and joy.
“Good luck today.” Mark says quietly, and Donghyuck nods his head.
“Have fun watching me, dummy.” Donghyuck says with a grin, leaving Mark behind in his seat, going off to the kitchen.
Mark thinks the rest of the day will go well then as he enjoys the scenes of Donghyuck laid out in front of him like a movie. The papers on his table get the bare minimum of his focus as he eyes Donghyuck much more than he should be when he has an essay on a topic he barely understands with a ten thousand word count due in two days, yet he can’t tear his eyes away from the boy. He radiates light in the cafe, making the customers who come in smile and laugh with joy. Mark notices those who seem tired and haggard coming in, yet when they see Donghyuck, it’s like they’ve found a good thing in their day. Donghyuck is gorgeous and a blessing to the world, easily lovable and always someone’s reason for the day to go right.
Mark has always been proud of Donghyuck, and seeing it all today again reminds him of why it was so hard for him to distinguish whether he loved Donghyuck as a lifetime partner or simply as a constant in his life. Things were more difficult back then since Donghyuck lived in the present and snatched all the good things to be happy about at the time, but Mark lived in the future of infinite possibilities and human behavior caused by chemical reactions and neurons malfunctioning. Donghyuck was, and still is, someone incredibly important and special to Mark, therefore he didn’t want to jump to the conclusion that he loved him romantically, only to find out he didn’t and merely found comfort in him always being there.
Mark thinks now that it was amusing he ever thought so, considering he only falls in love more with Donghyuck as the days go by.
“Donghyuck!” A familiar voice calls out to the boy, gentle yet lively, and Mark could detect the radiance of the other oozing out of his vocals.
It’s Yukhei, damn it. Mark thinks sourly, eyes leaving Donghyuck who was writing a customer’s name on a cup to give to Ten, another co-worker, to Yukhei, a boy with legs longer than a giraffe’s neck and a face more beautiful than a peacock’s feathers. He brought along with him a feeling of coziness despite his voice sometimes booming too loudly, but Mark notices that it’s because his voice is naturally loud and he only has some difficulty in knowing the capacity of it. In short, Mark sees Yukhei as one of the threats, since he also flirts openly with Donghyuck.
“Hello, Yukhei hyung.” Donghyuck answers warmly, his smile soft and adorable.
“My most favorite person in the world.” Yukhei says as he cups Donghyuck’s cheeks, pinching them and even giving his nose a little boop.
“You’re glaring.” Jaemin chirps to Mark, more bouncier than he should be as he settles a caramel macchiato in front of Mark.
“Oh, really? I didn’t notice.” Mark says angrily, feeling an all-too familiar flare rise in his chest at the interactions of the two.
“And the most handsome boy I know!” Donghyuck says back to Yukhei, happy to receive the affection of the other, giggling as he grabs a large cup to write on it. “What’s your order today?”
“Anything you recommend as usual, sunshine.” Yukhei replies, still looking at Donghyuck. “You look awfully gorgeous today.”
“Hm, you think so?” Donghyuck doesn’t bother to look at Yukhei, simply writing an order on the cup for a random drink to give him.
“I always know so. I’d say you look like someone I’d take out on a date later.”
“Oh, the fuck what?!” Mark screeches, accidentally grabbing the caramel macchiato that Jaemin settled down earlier, squeezing it until the contents all pour out of the plastic cup.
Mark lets out a little yelp when he realizes the cold contents spilling on the table, scrambling to salvage his papers and worksheets. Jaemin, still standing close by to be an audience of the ordeal, lets out a bark of laughter, which turns louder as Donghyuck jumps at his place in the counter at his boyfriend’s sudden high pitched noise. He looks confused, yet there’s an amused smile on his features as he sees Mark standing up from the table with a pout on his face.
“I’ll clean this up, as per usual.” Jaemin says, going up the counter to take a tablecloth to wipe the table.
“Hey, don’t make this sound like it’s normal! Why did you even bring me a caramel macchiato that I never asked for?” Mark whined, still trying to shift away from the table with as many papers as he could.
Mark promptly misses the exchanged glances between Jaemin, Donghyuck and Yukhei, as well as the little melodious giggle from Donghyuck covered behind his hands.
☕
“When are you going to stop it, Donghyuck?” Renjun questions Donghyuck as he slides open the door to the music room, and Donghyuck ceases playing his piano.
“Huh?” Donghyuck asks back, looking at the other boy with his brows raised, genuinely not understanding the other’s words.
“The flirting thing, y’know. Mark isn’t really alright with all of this.” Renjun sighs, taking an empty chair snug in the corner, dragging it so he could sit in front of Donghyuck as he plays the piano.
“What flirting thing?” Donghyuck asks, feigning innocence as it clicks in his mind what Renjun is talking about.
“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on exactly because Mark is becoming more and more closed off the more he sees guys flirting with you but I know something is going on. He used to tell me everything, and now all he says is that he doesn’t know anything anymore. When was the last time you went over to his house instead of him sending you back home, Donghyuck?” Renjun says frustratingly to Donghyuck, his voice increasing slowly the more he talks.
Renjun has always been Mark and Donghyuck’s supporter. He’s walked Mark through the good possibilities of the future with Donghyuck, encouraging the older to live in the moment instead of crying over the future possibilities that won’t ever happen unless he gets up to do something about it. He’s the one who helped Mark to stall Donghyuck at school while Mark looks for his guitar that he somehow lost before he could confess to Donghyuck. He’s the one who went to Mark’s house at 2:30 in the morning when he realizes the older hasn’t sent him a text regarding how much he loves Donghyuck, and he’s the one who provided Mark with IN&OUT when Mark was stuck contemplating about the better options for Donghyuck. Now, Mark isn’t talking with Renjun, and Renjun isn’t okay with being a useless best friend while Mark crumbles by himself.
Donghyuck doesn’t reply to Renjun, merely chewing on his bottom lip before he decides to eventually reply. “He hasn’t said anything about it to me.” He says quietly, voice lacing with a hint of betrayal.
“It’s not your fault, Donghyuck.” Renjun is quick to say. “It’s also his because he isn’t talking with anyone about this. He’s dealing with it himself again. You know how he can be. I wouldn’t say you should approach him first because he needs to learn to open up to you himself, but whatever you’re doing isn’t helping him out. I love both of you, but right now, I really don’t know what to think about what’s going on.”
“Everything seemed fine.” Donghyuck trailed off, lower lip trembling as he said so, fingers hovering over the piano keys, before he takes in a deep breath and eyes Renjun briefly. “I’m going to continue playing.”
Renjun nods at the other, understanding the implications of wanting him to leave slid in between of his words. He stands from his seat, dragging it back to the position it was before, the screeching of the chair resounding and bouncing against the mirrors and four walls of the room. The Donghyuck that Renjun sees reflected in the mirror doesn’t flinch or snipe at him like he normally would, instead he stayed looking at the piano keys, ready to begin playing the second Renjun left the room.
Once Renjun stands outside the room and the door closes with a slight noise, he hears the tune he’s grown accustomed to listening every week when he was 10. He remembers it being the piece that Mark absolutely loved after he went to watch a recital with his parents, and he showed the video to Donghyuck and Renjun. Donghyuck fumbled through the tunes everyday, trying to play it for Mark live since the older couldn’t shut up about how he wished he could hear it in front of him again despite Donghyuck having not been playing piano for long then. Renjun wonders if the two even know when they fell in love, and why they haven’t said so to each other yet.
He doesn’t ponder much on it as his phone buzzes in his pocket, and he sees Chenle’s name on the screen. He rolls his eyes at the thought of his friend causing another mayhem before school even begins, and he leaves the hallway to go back to his own class. He doesn’t hear the soft sniffles coming from the music room.
☕
Donghyuck and Mark have been spending minimal time together, only seeing each other at the cafe and when Mark sends Donghyuck back home. Donghyuck never corners Mark to ask why he only sends Donghyuck home, why he doesn’t ask Donghyuck to sleep over during the weekends anymore. He doesn’t want to be too much for Mark. He has, though, asked Jaehyun and Yukhei to not flirt with him anymore. It doesn’t decrease the amount of times Donghyuck sees Mark tense up each time either of the two, or anyone else that has been flirting with Donghyuck, come in the cafe. It doesn’t decrease the times Mark has bumped into the wall when he goes to the bathroom after witnessing Donghyuck with someone flirting with him at the counter. Donghyuck can see the jealousy and anger radiating off of Mark, and it wasn’t fun like before anymore when things were easier. Nevertheless, Donghyuck doesn’t approach Mark, just as Mark doesn’t approach Donghyuck.
“Hey, is Mark okay?” Jaehyun asks Donghyuck when he’s at the register, his back away from Mark to ensure neither his or Donghyuck’s face can be seen by the boy sitting near the counter, body hunched over a book yet eyes visibly on the two by the counter.
“Why do you ask?” Donghyuck asks, uncomfortable with the question as he grabs a cup and ticks the labels on the cup as usual, writing Jaehyun’s name on it too.
“Well, Taeyong’s been really worried lately. I don’t know why, and neither does he. He says it’s his brother instincts and you know how right it can be.” Jaehyun says, silently pleading to Donghyuck to do anything he could for Mark, and also maybe Taeyong’s sake.
“I guess so, but I don’t know. We haven’t been talking about important stuff lately.” Donghyuck shrugs lightly, handing the cup to Jeno, who eyes the two warily.
“So you admit there’s important stuff that you aren’t talking about?” Jeno asks cautiously, careful to not step into territory he shouldn’t, yet he has words on the tip of his tongue that he wishes to say, too.
“Just do the orders, Jeno.” Donghyuck sighs out as Jeno pats his lower back and leaves, before tapping on the iPad for Jaehyun’s order. “That’ll be 7,500 won.”
“Jungwoo’s coming in for a bit later.” Jaehyun tells Donghyuck, handing him a 10,000 won bill.
“He’s back?” Donghyuck questions, eyebrows raised.
“Yeah, but only for a layover. He’s going to China for some research thing about the economical growth there or something, and his plane ride’s got a four-hour layover here.” Jaehyun supplies while Donghyuck takes out the change, handing it to Jaehyun.
“Thanks for informing me.” Donghyuck says gratefully, smiling to the other as he returns the smile, going off to wait for his very specific mocha concoction that only Jeno can make perfectly.
Donghyuck then turns his focus point to Mark, who’s already looking at him with a tired, dazed expression, looking off behind Donghyuck. Donghyuck lifts a hand to wave at him, wearing a small smile at Mark. The older acknowledges it after blinking back to reality, shooting Donghyuck a brief smile before he goes back to his work. Donghyuck feels his heart wrenching at the sight, his stomach twisting uncomfortably at the lack of affection, but he figures he deserves it for having put Mark into an emotional turmoil recently.
“Yah, Nana!” Donghyuck hears Jeno squeak, turning around to see Jaemin stealing the espresso shots Jeno had kept inside the mini-fridge in one of the lower cabinets at the barista counter. “Don’t just drink straight up espresso shots. You’re going to get sick!”
“Will you take care of me then?” Jaemin asks, grin wide as he looks at Jeno from his squat position on the floor.
“I’m tired of taking care of you each time you get sick.” Jeno says grumpily, bending down before he starts shooing Jaemin away with his foot.
“You love me.” Jaemin says easily, standing up, but not without giving Jeno a kiss on the lips.
“I do. I love you.” Jeno replies to Jaemin, and Donghyuck can’t help the envy he feels bubble in his chest.
Donghyuck tears his attention away from the two as the door rings again, signalling the arrival of another customer. As he lifts his eyes to see who it is and to say a greeting, he immediately jumps in joy at the sight of Jungwoo, his older friend who has taken care of him since he was an infant, almost an older brother who had moved over a decade ago with his family to America. He’s in glee as the older comes forward, a blinding smile decorating his features.
“Jungwoo hyung!” Donghyuck shouts out happily, startling Mark and causing the older to lift his head to see a light brown haired boy rush forward to greet Donghyuck.
“Hello, baby donkey!” The older boy says, hugging Donghyuck from over the counter.
“Hey, we’re in public! Don’t disturb the other customers!” Donghyuck hisses, yet he’s giggling and giving Jungwoo a loose hug, too.
“It doesn’t usually stop us. We love letting people know we love each other.” Jungwoo retaliates, pressing a kiss on Donghyuck’s forehead.
It’s then that Donghyuck hears a painful drag of the chair against the floor, and he abruptly pushes Jungwoo aside to look at Mark, panic rising in his chest. He forgot that Mark has never been able to meet Jungwoo before despite having known Donghyuck for four years before Jungwoo left for America. Mark used to live at a different neighborhood then, while Jungwoo used to be Donghyuck’s neighbor. Donghyuck doesn’t want to think about the thoughts racing through Mark’s mind, because he sees it flashing darkly in his eyes as Mark looks at him from his position, standing in between the chair and the table.
“I’m going home. My laptop’s dying.” Mark says, breathing out a heavy breath, getting his things together.
“Mark, hey. My shift is going to end soon.” Donghyuck tries, hurriedly moving to get out from behind the counter.
“It’s okay. You have some other people you gotta talk to. It’s fine. I’ll be off now. See you later.” Mark says, smiling grimly at Donghyuck, not even looking at his face as he says so and leaves.
“Is there… something I should know?” Jungwoo asks, confused at the scene that just unfolded.
“Order your coffee and then sit with me.” Jaehyun says to Jungwoo, nudging his head at a table near the window before facing Donghyuck again. “You’re pretty lucky that the cafe’s practically empty right now and no one’s here to see that.”
Donghyuck takes a gulp of fresh air, yet feels it settle heavily on his chest as his heart drops to his stomach. He checks the clock on the floor behind him, dread filling him as he realizes it’s nowhere near the time his shift ends and he isn’t able to go to Mark to talk things out. He wishes he could leave, but the cafe is understaffed today with Doyoung not being able to come in due to his boyfriend’s musical being tonight and Ten taking the day off for personal reasons.
“Whatever just happened, I’m sure you can fix it soon. He also needs some time to cool off, judging by how he nearly exploded.” Jungwoo says to Donghyuck, smiling reassuringly as he ruffles the boy’s hair.
Donghyuck hopes he’s right, that waiting would help things a little bit, but Donghyuck finds himself incapable of feeling the spark of sunshine and happiness in him anymore as the day goes on.
☕
Mark slams the door behind him as he takes off his shoes near the entrance. He practically rips it off of his feet, throwing it mindlessly on the floor. The unshed tears have begun blurring his vision when he was walking up the street to his apartment complex, yet now he can feel them slowly coming out, hot and desperate. Mark rarely ever cries, and when he does, it’s always just a shed or two from watching a sad movie, never about anything that actually affected him. Mark took pride in being able to keep his negativity in and having it fade away as fast as it came, yet the recent weeks and events have taken a toll on Mark much more than he thought it would. In the back of his head, Mark can hear the nagging of Taeyong’s voice, reprimanding him and reminding him that his pride isn’t going to take him anywhere.
It took me somewhere, Mark thought bitterly. Just not a good place.
Mark wipes his eyes in frustration, wanting to be angry with himself for crying over something such as jealousy over people flirting with his boyfriend, yet he can’t help the building anger in him at the fact that Donghyuck never stopped others from flirting with him either. Mark never wanted to hold any sort of bad emotions towards his boyfriend. He’s known him since he was four, dated him since he was 15, and held him close to his heart since forever. Donghyuck has always been everything positive, joyful and peaceful for Mark. He’s trust and comfort, strength and warmth. He’s sanity and home, but Mark feels like he’s currently anything but those to him right now.
Mark feels like his chest is ripping into two, and his stomach is in pain from clenching due to his labored cries that he desperately tries to keep in. He takes off his jacket and puts it on his bedside table, hiding the pictures of Donghyuck and him underneath it. He falls on his bed then, grabbing a pillow to hug as he finally decides to let all of the tears fall, crying out in agony as he bites his pillow to control his voice.
It hurts. It hurts so much. It hurts so, so much. It hurts so much and I want it to stop. I want Donghyuck in my arms but if Donghyuck is going to find someone better, then maybe he should. I want Donghyuck here, but Donghyuck is the reason I’m crying. I want Donghyuck, but I don’t want this. I don’t want it to be like this. I want to go back to where things went wrong. I want to fix things before it became like this. I want to deserve Donghyuck. Mark messily thinks, his cries growing louder and louder, his knees coming up to his chest as one thought comes after the next. He’s in pain, he’s hurting and his eyes are hot. His head is pounding and he can feel the saliva on his pillow. Everything hurts and he feels gross, yet he can’t stop crying.
Mark hears the apartment door opening then, and he looks up from the pillow to see Taeyong, looking at him with his mouth hanging slightly open and his brows furrowed, mirroring the pain Mark is feeling inside of him.
“Hyung.” Mark cries out brokenly, moving the pillow beside him. “Hyung.” Mark calls out again, and his voice is louder and cracking as he sits on his knees on his bed, arms reaching out for Taeyong.
“Hey there, lion cub. I’m here. It’s okay.” Taeyong says gently, the bed dipping down as he reaches for Mark and he sits down on the bed.
“Hyung, it hurts so much. It hurts so, so much. I want it to stop. I want Donghyuck here.” Mark sobs out, lunging forward to hug Taeyong by the waist, snuggling closer to the older in between his legs.
“I know, Mark. I know. You wanna tell me what’s been going on properly? Let it out?” Taeyong asks Mark soothingly, rubbing his back in the manner their mother would usually do to them when they were little.
“So much. So much has been happening. I haven’t been talking about it because I think I’ve been stupid and unreasonable lately. I feel so guilty whenever I get jealous when someone flirts with Donghyuck. It’s my fault for not wanting to tell the ones who do something to him that he’s my boyfriend. It’s my fault that I don’t give him enough affection outside. It’s my fault, I know, but I can’t help it when other guys do things to Donghyuck. I hate it, and I don’t want to feel like this but I hate it even more how Donghyuck never pushes them away. I hate how he just lets it happen as if he doesn’t have a boyfriend, as if I wasn’t there waiting for him everyday. I feel so angry with him but I can’t help but think maybe the others could do so much better than me. Not just that Jaehyun and Yukhei guys I’ve told you about. There’s this guy who has an accent and he speaks in English sometimes with an Australian accent to woo Donghyuck. There’s another guy who gives Donghyuck pick up lines each time he comes by, and he checks him out so blatantly, I swear I nearly threw an Americano in his face. I’ve seen the guys who come in and wink at Donghyuck. He giggles and he looks down and sometimes he even blushes. I feel so fucking bad and it’s stupid but I can’t wink, so I even feel insecure about something like that. I want to talk with Donghyuck but I feel so, so stupid too. I feel like it’s so unfair that Donghyuck has people admiring him so much better than I can but I’m stuck here, being jealous. Do you think I’m being toxic, hyung? Is that what I’m becoming? Do you think I should break up with him if I’m becoming like this? Am I becoming too much? Doesn’t he deserve better?” Mark asks question after question, and Taeyong only holds him closer as he cries, pooling Taeyong’s shirt with both his saliva and tears.
“Mark.” Taeyong starts, when the other stops talking and only starts crying harder. “My honest opinion is that you’re not being toxic. I think you’re just going through feelings that you haven’t before, so you’re just having a hard time. I think you’re too caught up on trying to be the perfect boyfriend. You’re always trying your hardest to make him happy, Mark. You keep your feelings in for what? Because you’re always too scared of telling him. I remember how after you dated, you couldn’t even tell him things like you got the position as badminton captain because you thought you were being annoyingly clingy when you weren’t. You hide the things you think won’t matter, but they actually matter so much. You keep being scared of being too much, but maybe you should be giving Donghyuck more. I’m not saying you’re not enough because you are. I know how you wait until 5:00 A.M. for Donghyuck to call in case he gets a nightmare in the middle of the night. I know how you try your hardest to reciprocate Donghyuck’s affections in the beginning even though it was weird for you since you were never the type to hug and kiss people out in the open so much the more you grew. I know how you went through a lot of things just to get Donghyuck those limited edition shoes he said passingly in a conversation that was cute. You’re already such a good boyfriend, but we all need to learn to be better. Even I have problems with my boyfriend, who I think is amazing, but like I said, we always need to learn to be better. We can’t always be perfect, and in love, it’s so much easier to hurt and to be hurt. It’s okay, lion cub. You just need to grow. It’s normal. You’re amazing for Donghyuck. You deserve him.”
“I don’t know anything anymore, hyung. It just hurts and I want to hold him but I can’t. I can’t because it’ll hurt so much more and I want this to stop.” Mark says in quiet sniffles, refusing to loosen his grip on Taeyong.
“I think you need to talk to Donghyuck for the pain to go away. I know you’ve been hiding feelings and they always go away, but I don’t think it works like that for a relationship. You need to communicate. You need to tell each other what’s going on to be even closer. I think Donghyuck has a lot to tell you too. I don’t think you’re guilty-free, but I don’t think neither is Donghyuck. It takes two people for a problem to go so out of hand, Mark. You know that.” Taeyong mutters, and Mark knows he’s referring to their parents who ended on a bad note, and Mark cries even more, thinking of them.
“I don’t want to end up like them with Donghyuck.” Mark chokes out, feeling like he got punched in the stomach even thinking of the notion of them ending like his parents; angry screaming and bodies being pushed to walls.
“And you won’t. Just talk to him soon. For now, I’ll be with you for the rest of the day, okay?” Taeyong says, tugging on Mark’s blanket, hugging his brother close as he cuddles him inside the blanket.
“Thank you, hyung. I want to talk to him soon, but not now. Thank you.” Mark mumbles, finding comfort in the arms of Taeyong.
☕
“You know.” Ten starts, pumping in the vanilla into the mug with espresso and ice. “You fucked up.”
Donghyuck groans at the older’s words, questioning why, out of all the people he knew, the first person he called to in his panic after work to talk to is Ten. He could have called Renjun, Jaehyun, even Jungwoo had internet connection on the plane and is able to FaceTime with him, yet Donghyuck’s first instinct had been to call Ten and ask him if he was free. Ten shouldn’t be free since he took the day off, but Donghyuck guesses his tone might have been extremely desperate that Ten immediately came to the cafe to pick him up, taking him to his own home that he shared with his boyfriend, Johnny. Donghyuck sees the pictures of them filling the walls, the foreign country magnets overflowing the fridge door along with a ‘To-Do List’ on it and the house decor that screamed Ten, yet something about it toned it down to something so different from Ten that he would only compromise for someone important to him. Donghyuck wishes this could be Mark and him one day.
“I know, okay? I’m well aware, but like- God, I don’t even have an excuse. I just wanted something out of him. I wanted to see emotions in him that I’ve felt before. I know I should be happy that my boyfriend feels secure with me to trust me but sometimes I just wonder, would he be okay with me leaving? Is the reason why he never gets jealous is not because he trusts me, but because he wouldn’t care that I left with someone else? It drove me insane, and I was just so desperate. It was fun at first, and then it just went South from there.” Donghyuck says in pain, feeling loathing in his chest towards himself for ever beginning the stupid act. “People who didn’t know me were flirting with me, I shut them down quickly but I had to do it in a good way and not too obvious, so they would come back to the cafe and I wouldn’t be providing bad customer service, but now I just feel so bad. There would’ve been nothing wrong if I just said, ‘Oh hey, my boyfriend’s right over there, so please stop flirting with me.’ but I just didn’t do it. Jaehyun hyung and Yukhei hyung- I think I went overboard with them sometimes. I don’t know when things got so wrong, and that sucks even more. I feel like I didn’t pay attention to Mark at all.”
“But did Mark ever tell you what he was feeling?” Ten questions as he sits down in front of Donghyuck at his kitchen island, sipping on the vanilla latte he’s made for himself.
“No.” Donghyuck sniffles out, his throat constricting as he says it. “He never tells me anything, and I never ask. I always read in books and poetries that they wait for their partner to tell them something, that they trust their partner, and I thought that’s how things are suppose to be. I thought that’s how being in love should be.” Donghyuck’s voice audibly cracked, tears threatening to spill out as he spits the words out. He feels a lot more stupid after he says it, and Ten seemed like he was ready to tell Donghyuck exactly that.
“That’s probably the most idiotic thing I have ever heard in my life.” Ten deadpans as he sets the mug down, looking at Donghyuck straight in the eye, but they’re soft around the edges and Donghyuck knows this is Ten’s way of showing he cares too much about the matter at hand. “I don’t know what teenagers like to think about these days. You guys care so much about making things seem like they should be in books and poetries. Like, even magazines! Don’t you know all those perfect models are photoshopped? Nothing in this world is suppose to be like whatever you read that’s fictional. Even some non-fiction books are fake.”
“I don’t think that’s what’s important right now.”
“It’s not, I’m getting to it.” Ten glares at Donghyuck’s interruption, to which the boy only takes Ten’s mug away from him to drink from it himself. “What’s important right now is that you need to learn to make your relationship your own. All relationships are different, but they’re all based on the same thing - communication. You build your relationship on communication, that’s how you have the foundation for trust. You think you could trust someone you just met five seconds ago that you haven’t breathed a word with? No. Talk with Mark. Tell him how you’re feeling. All your insecurities that led to you doing that stupid stunt. You’re not going to take advices from books, Donghyuck. That isn’t how you should be. You should be in control of your own relationship. You should make it your own, but make sure it’s healthy. Meanwhile, this? Is anything but healthy.”
“I miss him.” Donghyuck sighs out, looking down at the empty mug. “I miss him so much, and I really fucked up over something so stupid.”
“Then learn from it, you little baby.” Ten says and Donghyuck catches the light tone of endearment in his words, so he lifts his head to look at Ten, seeing all the gentle care in the eyes of the older.
“I will, I am. I just- don’t know when I can see him again. It’s going to be so hard. I bet he’d want some space but I want to clear things out before he overthinks anything. I told you, he doesn’t tell me things, so I’m worried if he thinks too much about this. I’ve never seen him so hurt.” Donghyuck mutters, gears turning in his head as he thinks about the ways of going to see Mark without getting caught with Taeyong in between. Though Taeyong loves Donghyuck, he’s still Mark’s older brother and cares so much for his baby brother that Donghyuck might just be more than a little bit scared of facing Taeyong.
Ten’s eyes seem to light up with glee at those words, moving to grab his phone from beside the coffee machine as he speaks to Donghyuck. “I think I’ve got you covered.”
☕
“I’m telling you, this isn’t a good idea.” Mark hears the sound of Taeyong’s exasperated voice when he’s awaken in the middle of the night.
He pokes his head out of the blanket he’s covered in. His eyes sting as he opens them and he feels his head still pounding from his earlier crying festival. Taeyong is in front of Mark’s closet, torso naked as he looks for a shirt to wear, with his phone stuck in between his ear and shoulder. Mark is exhausted and he feels no energy in him as he sits up on his bed, the blanket falling, and his limbs following closely behind. Taeyong looks back when he hears the bed squeak, and he rushes to Mark, who’s lying limply on the bed.
“Hey lion cub, are you okay?” Taeyong asks worriedly, running his fingers through Mark’s hair.
“‘M tired.” Mark mumbles, his eyes closing as he says the words, his head subconsciously leaning into Taeyong’s hands. “I want Donghyuck.”
“So, what is it you were saying about it being a not good idea?” Mark hears through the speaker over his dazed and foggy mind.
Taeyong sighs before he answers in the receiver. “Let Mark rest. Make it tomorrow. I want to spend the day with him inside and let him gain back his energy. He’s too tired and I think it’ll take more than just a few hours of sleep for him to get better.”
“That’s fine.” As soon as those words enter Mark’s ears, he finds himself blacking out, sleep hugging him tightly.
☕
“I think I look absolutely tragic.” Mark says as he looks in his full-length mirror at his attire.
He’s wearing a velvet, dark blue suit jacket over a black dress shirt. His tie is also black, blending in well with his dress shirt that no one could even see whether he’s wearing a tie or not. His pants are the same velvet, dark blue and though Mark would think this looks good on a mannequin, he can’t say it’s the same when it’s on his own body. He turns around in front of the mirror, wincing at the sight.
“What’re you saying? You look great! And we’re matching!” Taeyong says happily, standing beside Mark.
Taeyong looked amazing in exactly the same attire as Mark. He shines brightly, handsomely, and Mark is proud to call him his brother. They stand side by side, and it’s like the image of a family portrait all over again. Mark sighs out blissfully, remembering the last time Taeyong and him had taken a family picture together.
Taeyong had stayed with Mark all of yesterday, watching movies with him as well as random YouTube videos. Taeyong cooked all of their meals, thanks to the fact that Mark constantly has his fridges stocked up for Donghyuck whenever he came over. Taeyong carefully avoided the topic, too, allowing Mark to simply cuddle up to him whenever he remembered the younger boy and felt sad. He made sure to avoid giving Mark any coffee, worried that it might remind his brother of his boyfriend, even. Mark thinks that he would never exchange Taeyong for any other brother, which is why when Taeyong invited Mark to go to his friend’s musical tonight, Mark found it easy for him to agree despite not really liking musicals himself.
“Whose musical are we going to again?” Mark asks Taeyong as the older boy grabs his car keys, not wanting to take the subway when they’re wearing something as striking as this.
“It’s Taeil’s. He’s a friend of mine from university, and he’s been doing musicals a lot lately. I just never went to them because they usually mix up with my working days, but this musical lasts three days, so I figured, why not?” Taeyong answers, smiling over his shoulder at his brother.
☕
He’s going to run. Donghyuck thinks as he sees Mark standing in front of him, face as pale as a ghosts. Reflexively, almost instinctively, Donghyuck circles his fingers around Mark’s wrist and pulls him to his side. He sees Taeyong looking at him with his eyebrows scrunched, but Jaehyun is quick to wrap an arm around Taeyong’s waist, taking all of Taeyong’s attention once again.
“What is this?” Mark asks, and his voice sounds so broken, so confused that Donghyuck visibly flinches. “Why is Jaehyun here? Yukhei?” Mark questions bitterly, the way he says their name making everyone around them surprised by the other’s ability to be that mean.
“Mark.” Taeyong says gently, but Mark pulls away from the whole group.
“Why is Jaehyun wrapping his arms around you, hyung? Are you telling me you know him? That you knew everything that was going on and you didn’t even think of telling me?” Mark is positively radiating anger now, and Donghyuck tugs on his sleeve, Mark looking at him with confusion and hurt.
“I’m going to explain everything to you, but for now, let’s find a private space.” Donghyuck says to the older, soothingly, carefully, fingers trailing up his arm in the way he knows could cause goosebumps to rise on Mark’s skin.
“You can use my car.” Yukhei says to the two, giving Donghyuck his car keys.
“Well, I don’t wanna be in your car.” Mark seethes, and Yukhei holds his hands up.
“Man, I’m telling you. It’s the closest car to the venue. And if you’re gonna talk, I’m pretty sure a car would be a good space. I know you don’t trust me, but like, y’know. Trust me on this.” Yukhei says to Mark, nudging his head at the car just a few steps away from them.
“Mark, please.” Donghyuck pleads, looking at the older, stepping closer to him, slotting his body near Mark’s like it was made to be there, and Mark could never find it in him to deny the boy of his pleads in the first place.
“Fine, but please make this quick.” Mark says curtly, and Donghyuck sighs out in relief, smile forming as he takes Mark to Yukhei’s car.
Donghyuck presses on the car keys and it beeps, unlocking. Donghyuck takes the driver’s seat while Mark takes the passenger seat. Donghyuck turns the car on, pressing on the A/C button to turn it on, letting the car whir to life and allow a little bit of silence to befall them before they speak. Donghyuck is thinking through his words, wondering how he should say them without sounding like a complete jerk. He knows it’s impossible, and he wants to make amends while admitting to his mistakes. Mark deserves that, at least. Mark deserves the world to Donghyuck.
“I’m sorry.” Donghyuck says, closing his eyes as the A/C air hits him, unable to look at the other beside him. “About this whole flirting thing- I asked Jaehyun hyung and Yukhei hyung to flirt with me at the cafe because I just- I don’t know? Well, no. I actually do know why. I wanted you to get jealous, because I was getting scared whether you didn’t get jealous because you trusted me or you just wouldn’t care if I left with someone else, and I thought since I’m working at a cafe with you there to see me with strangers all day, why not? Only, y’know, they’re not exactly strangers. Yukhei hyung’s a friend of Jaehyun hyung’s, while Jaehyun hyung is Taeyong hyung’s boyfriend. You don’t know him because the last time you saw him was when he made you faint last year when it was your birthday-”
“He was the Grim Reaper I saw?” Mark cuts in, face more offended than anything else that Donghyuck catches when his eyes crack open, and Donghyuck can’t help the giggle that leaves him.
“Yeah, he was.” Donghyuck sighs out shakily, now sitting straight on the seat, looking at Mark.
The lights in the car and outside of them illuminates Mark’s fair skin, making him look like a star in the dark night sky. His eyes are swollen and Donghyuck catches the hitch of his breath as Donghyuck looks at him. There’s so much more to be said, and Donghyuck doesn’t want to waste any time, though he would love to simply absorb all of his boyfriend’s striking handsomeness now.
“I wanna say some things first.” Mark exhales shakily, turning himself to look at Donghyuck. “First off, I used to not get jealous because I trusted you- and I still do, but I just didn’t trust strangers. I guess I get what you meant all those years back now. I never felt it because I always just saw you with our friends, and I know how dumb and stupid we can all be together, but seeing you at the cafe with people I don’t know, I just- It just scared me. It felt like I was losing you right in front of me and that you deserved someone so much better. Someone who could proudly claim you as theirs, not only shyly hold your pinky in public. Like, what the fuck is that? Honestly, I’m surprised you even stayed so long with me when you’re everything so wonderful and so fucking amazing. I say that, but even now, it sickens me to the core to think you with someone else.” Mark says, his words catching up on his voice that’s growing by the words, and he sounds desperate as he looks at Donghyuck’s hands that are on his lap, so Donghyuck moves to hold Mark’s hands in his.
“Thank you for telling me, and I have a lot more to tell you.” Donghyuck says, gulping as he strokes Mark’s hands in his. “I was also scared because you never tell me anything, and I’m sorry for being stupid enough for never asking. I know now that I should just ask. Ten said we should make our relationship our own, learn through it our own selves. We learn each other, work through this dynamic together. It’s our relationship, and no one else’s, as long as we keep this healthy. And this isn’t healthy at all. Not talking, me resolving to trying to make you fucking jealous. It’s so stupid, and I am so, so sorry for making you go through all of that.” Donghyuck mumbles, not realizing the tears that fall down his cheeks, dripping on Mark’s hands.
Mark cups Donghyuck’s face, and Donghyuck opens his eyes to see a blurry view of his boyfriend. He lays his hands over Mark’s, as Mark opens his own mouth to speak. “I’m stupid, too. You never asked, but just like you said, I never tell you. I keep things in because I’m scared of annoying you, but yeah, just like you learned, I learned, too. I learned that it was stupid to do that when you’re always so willing to listen to whatever I have to say, that out of everyone else in this world, you’d be the last person to ever find me annoying over anything. I’m always scared of being too much, that I end up being too little.”
“You’re never too little, Mark. You’re enough for me.” Donghyuck pipes up quickly, looking at Mark with restlessness and fear in his orbs that used to shine so brightly with joy.
“I know that now, though I can’t promise you that I’ll tell you everything immediately and things are gonna change 180 degrees from now, but I can promise you that we’ll grow. I promise you that we’ll learn things through, and like you said, make this relationship our own. I promise you, Lee Donghyuck.” Mark utters, and he breathes in before he says the words that have been stuck on the tip of his tongue for a long, long while now. “And I think you would already know this, and I’d like to say actions speak louder than words always, but sometimes people need a verbal confirmation, y’know?” Mark says, laughing nervously.
“What?” Donghyuck questions, genuinely confused with the other’s words.
“I love you, Donghyuck. I have been for so, so long.” Mark says quietly, and he squeezes his eyes shut, reprimanding himself for not being able to say it out loud, so he opens his mouth to say it again, louder, but Donghyuck is looking at him with eyes so wide, tears streaming down his cheeks again, and his smile- God brought back that smile.
Donghyuck lunges over the gears of the car carefully, hugging Mark tightly, squeezing the other boy in his arms. “We’ll make it through together, Mark, and I love you, too. Always.” Donghyuck breathes out, pulling away to look at Mark.
He can see the love being reflected, the joy and the happiness, the pure bliss and the relief. It’s all enough, it’s all their own. Donghyuck moves to slot their lips together, feeling perfect with Mark in his arms and him in Mark’s.
☕
“Hello there, my Sun.” A voice says as it enters the cafe, the bell ringing lingering closely behind it.
Donghyuck perks immediately at the voice he hears, swiveling from his conversation with Jeno, even pushing the other boy away as he skips to the counter to greet his boyfriend. He stays behind the counter, and Mark leans forward to drop a kiss on his boyfriend, retreating after a second, looking down at his hands and blushing, still rather shy about public display of affection.
“Hello there, the love of my life.” Donghyuck greets him, and Mark grins at him with so much happiness, Donghyuck feels like his heart is about to burst. “What can I get for you? A latte? A mocha? Me?”
“Watermelon juice.” Mark says, and Donghyuck’s smile immediately falls, looking crestfallen and dejected, before Mark leans forward to whisper, so only the two of them can hear. “And to take you home tonight.”
He says it so softly, so quietly, Donghyuck’s ears strain to catch them, yet even the little amount of his voice is enough to send Donghyuck into a fumbling mess, blushing furiously as he looks down to tap at the iPad in front of him.
“Yeah, uh, sure. You can go seat your take- I mean, take your seat.” Donghyuck says, not daring to look at Mark as the older boy chuckles beautifully.
The bell rings again, and they both turn to see Felix, one of the boys that have been flirting with Donghyuck over the weeks come in, strutting to the counter and stands behind Mark, ready to talk with Donghyuck after Mark is done. Mark, however, lifts his eyebrows at Felix, to which the other tilts his head to him in confusion, but offers a smile.
“Hey.” Felix greets, all friendly and nice, and Mark can’t find it in him to scream at the other boy, though he wants to ensure he knows that Donghyuck is off limits.
“Hi.” Mark begins, and he smiles warmly to Felix. “Sorry, I’m done with my order, just wanted to give my boyfriend a kiss.”
Felix looks taken aback, and so does Donghyuck, when Mark turns back around to his boyfriend, kissing him again this time, a little bit longer than barely a second. Felix laughs behind him, and Mark laughs too, along with Jaemin, Jeno and Ten. Doyoung simply smiles from his place behind the kitchen doors, overlooking the others. Meanwhile Donghyuck is gasping, and squeezing his boyfriend’s cheeks.
“God, why do I love you?” Donghyuck asks lightheartedly, before kissing Mark’s nose.
“I love you, too.” Mark replies, so warm and so full of love.
Donghyuck’s eyes that day shines brighter than it ever did, almost as if all the stars from the previous days gathered together to shine together, and it feels like it’s the same with Mark and him, together. His smile is brighter, too, blinding and overwhelming, the evident happiness in him oozing out, and Mark is just as happy, especially with the decrease in the amount of boys flirting with Donghyuck now.FF