Chapter Text
He pulled her closer as he thrust deeper into her. He could feel the sweat running down his chest as he vigorously tried to bring her to climax before he lost control himself. If her sounds were any indication, he was succeeding.
A few moments later, he was in the bathroom, disposing of the condom and cleaning up. She was nestled in her blankets, a dazed smile against her lips as she watched him walk back into the room. He flashed her an uncomfortable, disingenuous smile before quickly pulling his clothes back on.
This is the part he always hated. The uncomfortable part at the end, where he had to dress and prepare to leave. Sometimes the girl wanted him to stay, which made it more difficult. He had to think of excuses for why he had to go, when the reality was that he never had any intention of staying in the first place. What was the point of staying? Love wasn’t real. There was no facade presented of having a future with any of these girls. He couldn’t even see a future with any girl at all.
Not after Sophia. He had been with Sophia since he was fifteen. Now, at 21, he was three years into college and she was three years into fucking other guys behind his back. To make matters worse, he hadn’t even broken up with her over the ordeal. He was hurt, sure, but he thought maybe they could have repaired their relationship. She was the only woman he had ever been with (at the time, that was anything but true as of late) and he loved her. She was the one who called it off. ‘We’re just different people. Our lives are too different,’ she said.
She was right. He was a good person, so there’s a difference. He was loyal. She left him with this. He never would have done that to her. She left him broken, unsure where to go after six years with her. Still, even now, as he tried his hardest to think about all the bad things about her, he couldn’t. He felt so much love toward the woman who ruined his life. All of his best memories were stained with her presence and he could feel his life tumbling down a path that he had never intended it to.
“Are you okay?” The woman on the bed was looking at Jake, concern on her face. The woman on the bed… What was her name?
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I have to go.”
“So soon?”
“Yeah, I, uh, have class. I’ll see you around.”
As Jake quickly shuffled out the door, he heard the woman call after him.
“It’s Saturday!”
He had already made his exit and he did not plan on turning around to correct his stupid mistake. The truth was that he hadn’t been going to class at all, so he wasn’t sure what day it was. Nobody had class on Saturday, so he clearly fucked that up. She was definitely going to be spreading some bad stories about him. When stories preceded you, it was harder to find girls who wanted to take you back to their room.
This was what a lot of his days looked like, lately. She was the fourth girl that week. He’d find a girl, sometimes at a party, sometimes walking around campus, sometimes on his way out of the bathroom. He’d flirt a little, see if she was into it. She almost always was. Every now and then the girl would mention her boyfriend and Jake would smile politely and wish her a good day as he turned away to find another ‘victim.’ That’s what he always called them in his head. He thought that maybe they felt that way. Every encounter he had was consensual, he made sure of that, but he couldn’t help but to feel like he was hurting these girls the same way Sophia had hurt him.
He was walking back toward his dorm while thinking about all of this. They couldn’t be hurt the same way he was after having only known him for a few days, max. Besides, none of it even mattered. He was trying desperately to fill the hole that Sophia left in him. That typically meant day drinking just enough to feel a little fuzzy, finding a willing participant to fuck his sadness away, and then making his way back home to drink until he blacked out. Who would’ve thought that a girl could have ruined him like this. His mother would be disappointed in him.
Finally, he was making his way down his hallway, his walk of shame almost over. He pulled out his keys and unlocked the door, sighing deeply when he stepped inside. He heard a familiar female voice, his roommate Gina, but another female voice caught his attention. He furrowed his eyebrows at the thought of having to put on a show for a guest.
Begrudgingly, he stepped forward, all smiles to greet Gina’s guest.
“Hey, G, I-” He stopped speaking when he saw the woman at the table. She smiled tightly at him. Her dark hair fell in curls around her shoulders, falling lightly on her deep bronze skin. The harsh fluorescent lighting in their dining room, lighting that Jake would avoid at all costs if he was taking a photo, somehow made her look more beautiful. Or rather, it didn’t cost her any of her beauty, he assumed the beauty was all her.
“Well, look, Jacob’s back from his excursion,” Gina said, the final word dripping with poison. He could feel the heat rising to his cheeks as he stared at the woman seated at the table. She looked familiar, but he couldn’t place her. Her dark eyes, framed with long, gorgeous eyelashes, stared back at his. He couldn’t help but to notice her lips, the only word he could think of to describe them was irresistible. He wanted to badly to press them against his own.
He felt his heart skip a beat. This was so weird. He was having so many feelings. He hadn’t really felt things since everything that happened with Sophia. It had been about three months. And when he said he didn’t feel things, he meant he didn’t feel anything. He had been numb to just about every emotion, excluding the dark feeling that overcame him any time he was alone with his thoughts. The only time he felt good in any way was when he was in bed with one of those random women, but even that was just a quick bandaid to a much larger problem.
Oh no. Oh, god. Was she one of those women? Had he slept with her? Was she back for some reason? This couldn’t be good. She didn’t look particularly mad or upset. He scanned the table in front of her, noting a book and some papers. Did he even know her?
He only noticed he had been standing there, probably looking stupid, for too long when Gina spoke again. “Uh, hello? Earth to Jake? You have a visitor. I’m just going to leave. I filled her in a little bit on your-” She stopped to gesture over his whole body, head to toe, “situation.”
He blushed again. What did that even mean? He had a visitor? His situation? What had she told her?
Gina flashed a knowing glance to the woman at the table and mumbled a “good luck,” before making her dramatic exit.
Jake looked at the woman, once again surprised at her beauty.
“Uh, hi,” he said meekly. “I’m Jake.”
She smiled back at him. “Amy Santiago.” She extended her hand for him to shake. He was too far away to accept it and the awkward shuffle to get from where he was to where she was once he finally figured out what she was doing was enough to bring that familiar burning sensation back to his cheeks. He shook her hand firmly.
She didn’t say anything else, but her eyes were looking at him intensely. She appeared to be assessing him. He felt uncomfortable.
“So, uhm, do we know we other?”
Her eyebrows furrowed. She waited just long enough to respond to make him more uncomfortable, which he hadn’t even known was possible. “Yeah. We have a criminal psychology class together.”
He nodded, understanding now why he vaguely recognized her. He had been to a few classes, but after everything with Sophia, he promptly stopped going. He breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn’t fucked this beautiful woman and left her alone while she was sleeping. Another stark contrast to how things had been for him, lately. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw a pretty girl and wanted anything other than to get her in bed, or in the car, or in the shower. Wherever he could get her alone and on top of him. He could feel himself getting aroused at the thought of this woman, Amy Santiago, being one of those girls, but he quickly shook the thought out of his head.
“What can I do for you, Amy Santiago?”
“Well,” she said softly. “Dr. Phillips is concerned about you. She said you were one of her best students at the beginning of the semester and now you don’t even come to class. I have been assigned to your case.”
“My case?” He was immediately feeling defensive. He didn't need someone to come check up on him. He could handle everything just fine on his own.
“Yeah, that’s what she called it. Basically, I’m here to make sure everything is okay with you. I brought you all the work you missed. The idea, if you’re down for it, is that I’ll kind of be like your tutor or something. I’ll help you get caught up on all the work that you’ve missed while you’ve been recovering from your br-” she stopped abruptly.
“Breakup,” he finished for her, adding a half hearted smile. “What do you get out of this?”
Amy shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s kind of like another assignment for me. I get extra credit, but I don’t really need it. Also, I just wanted to help. I noticed that you stopped coming to class.” She paused, opening her mouth to say something, but then closing it again. She settled for, “I was glad to come check that you were alright.”
He quirked an eyebrow at her. “You noticed that I stopped coming?”
She blushed a little. He was thrilled. That was a great sign. “I mean, yeah. I mean you talk a lot, so when you stopped coming, the class was a lot quieter. Not hard to notice you missing.”
He nodded knowingly. “I definitely do talk a lot.”
She nodded back, biting her lip before she continued. She was into him, right? I mean the blush, the lip bite, the asking about his well-being? “So, is this something you’d be interested in?”
He thought it over for a moment. “I don’t know. I mean, I think I can probably handle all of this by myself.”
“Jake,” she cut in. “You’ve missed a lot. It wouldn’t hurt to have someone who was there through it all to help you out if you need it. Plus I have extensive notes.”
He sighed again, looking at that pretty face while he thought. It definitely wouldn’t hurt him to be close to her. He didn't really want their interactions to be based on him looking dumb and her saving the day, but if that was how he got to be close to her... He simply shrugged. “I’ll think about it.”
She nodded and stood up, preparing herself to leave. He stood too, trying to think of a way to prolong their interaction. Her hair had fallen in her face when she bent down to grab her bag. He reached out and touched her before he even thought about it, tucking the hair behind her ear in a move that was a little too intimate for either of their liking. Her lips fell apart as she studied what he was doing.
He left his hand on her face as he spoke, toying with the hair that he had moved. “Hey, uhm… Do you wanna stay?” The final word came out much more direct than he had meant for it to. He didn’t necessarily mean stay for sex, although the thought had crossed his mind. That’s definitely what it sounded like he was trying to-
Crack-
He looked back at her, surprised. His hand sprang to his jaw to nurse his new wound. She- She punched him? She punched him hard. He looked at her, bewildered. She looked a little surprised, too. He opened his mouth, testing his jaw, and rubbed it softly with his hand.
“I-” She began to speak, but then stopped, as if she didn’t know what to say. “I’m gonna leave.”
He scoffed. “Yeah.”
She made her way to the door and grabbed the handle.
“Wait-” she turned back to look at him. He didn’t know why he was doing this. He didn’t plan to, his mouth was moving without him even telling it to. “Can I get your number?” She blinked ferociously at this. He stammered, “I-I mean, you know, for this tutoring thing?”
Her expression softened, but she didn’t smile. “If you’re interested, show up to class on Monday. Then we’ll talk.”
With that, she was out the door. Jake rubbed his jaw, feeling like a child being sent to timeout. He was a little mad, but was he... what was this feeling? Kind of turned on? For some reason he wanted to follow her out the door, but he remained where he was, staring at the door. He couldn't help the small smile that formed on his lips.
What the fuck just happened?