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Yang’s hyperaware of Blake behind her as she changes, their backs facing as Yang slips into her sleepwear and Blake does the same on the other side of the bed.
It’s weird, having Blake back, but not really having her. There are walls in place that are so different from the ones they’d broken down at Beacon. Walls between them, rather than ones constructed of Blake’s past. It weighs heavy on Yang’s mind – how different things are – in moments like this, where normally there would be light conversation or silly jokes. Instead, the moment is filled with silence, broken only by the quiet sound of shuffling clothes and buckles hitting the floor, under all the wrong context.
She’s eager to sleep, to forget about the distance between them, to forget about the weight of the world on their shoulders, and just allow her mind to travel to a place where hopefully life is simple.
She knows sleep won’t come easy tonight though, as she sits on the bed and clicks her prosthetic out of place, the pain she’s become so familiar with shooting to the nerve endings of where her arm used to be. She tries to hide it, but she still winces and Blake’s familiar voice fills the air, soft and caring.
“Hey. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it’s nothing,” Yang says, with a shake of her head, putting her prosthetic on the nightstand. This isn’t Blake’s problem to deal with, and it’s nothing she can’t handle on her own. Nothing she hasn’t handled on her own. “Don’t worry.” There’s a moment of silence where Yang thinks maybe Blake will let it go, and her heart sinks a little. But then, Blake speaks again, cautious.
“Does it hurt?” There’s a hitch in Blake’s voice like she already knows the answer. Yang simply shrugs, not wanting to concern her more.
“A little, I guess. But I’ve got used to it by now.”
She’s down playing. She knows she is, because it’s taking all her willpower not to grind her teeth to ebb the pain. But she doesn’t want Blake to press her on it. She doesn’t want her to feel like she’s weak, incapable, just because of this one moment of weakness.
Silence fills the air for a good while, and Yang’s just about sure that’s the end of it when Blake surprises her again.
“Can I try something?” Blake’s voice is a little shaky when it comes out and Yang glances back at her over her shoulder, curiously.
She’s not sure what Blake has in mind, but the sting in her arm is growing a little unbearable and the one in her heart feels that maybe this is a chance to feel closer to her again. So, she finds herself foolishly nod once, and then Blake’s shifting on the bed until she’s kneeling behind her, and she’s realizing it’s been… a while… since they’ve been this close. Her shoulders tense a little.
Blake lets out a breath that tickles her neck, and Yang is impressed when she manages not to shiver.
“Okay so, just try to relax, and tell me if it hurts or if you just want me to stop.” Blake’s words tumble out a little fast, but clear, and Yang’s not sure what she should be expecting.
“Sure, but wha—”
And then Blake’s touching her. Her thumbs rubbing firm circles into the tight muscles at the top of Yang’s spine and it’s all Yang can do to remember how to breathe. A gasp escapes her as her muscles unwind, and she leans back into the touch a little, to assure Blake that this is definitely alright.
Blake’s hands are steady as they glide over her shoulder blades, and Yang’s pretty sure it’s all a dream. That her wish had come true and her sleep for the night was filled with images of this.
But then, Blake’s hands pull away as quickly as they had come, and Yang has to physically stop the whine that’s about to slip out of her mouth.
Blake’s voice cracks the silence in the room instead, her words making Yang’s mouth go dry and heart speed up.
“You’re going to have to take your shirt off and lie down if you want me to do more.”
And, yeah, Yang’s sure she has to be dreaming. Because – despite it all – despite the time apart and the distance between them; Yang wants this. She’s not sure of a lot of things when it comes to Blake. She’s not sure if she’ll be there in the morning when they wake up. Not sure if she knows what she’s doing to her right now.
But, Yang’s still in pain, and Blake’s hands had only brought comfort she never could have imagined. And one thing she is sure of is that the way Blake makes her feel when she’s here is undeniable.
And so – for just one night – maybe she’s going to be a little selfish.
Before she can think better of it, Yang’s tugging her t-shirt over her head and lying face down on the bed, her cheek pressing against the pillow she’s made with her forearm.
There’s a moment of hesitation on Blake’s end and Yang wonders briefly if the offer hadn’t been intended to be taken seriously. But then, Yang feels the bed dip next to her and give on the other side of her waist. Her eyes squeeze shut before they can bugout with the realization that she’s shirtless and Blake’s straddling her. Blake’s careful not to lower herself too far, but another selfish part of Yang wishes she would.
Instead, she feels fingertips brush lightly across her skin as her hair is swept away, leaving her back exposed to the cool room.
The next sensation sends a shiver through her body that nothing could’ve suppressed. Blake’s hands against her bare skin is something Yang could certainly get used to, and she has to remind herself not to hope too much. Has to stop her mind from wandering as Blake’s hands stray down her body.
It still does, thinking of how good it would feel to have Blake’s lips trace over the path her hands were currently on. How good it would feel if her hands were to just wander a little lower…
Yang cuts off the thought, remembering where she is, what’s happening. Blake’s act of kindness that her mind is selfishly turning into something more. Something dangerous. Something she shouldn’t even be entertaining the thought of.
Instead, Yang grounds herself in what’s actually happening. Blake’s touch is light to start, but Yang can already feel the tension ebbing from her shoulders. The pain there, but the slightest bit more bearable.
It’s selfish, but she lets herself enjoy the moment, enjoy the way Blake’s hands start to work over the muscles in her back with care.
Blake’s hands start to make their way back up the sides of her spine and when the heels of her hands press between Yang’s shoulder blades she groans in relief. She feels Blake’s hands stall for a moment, her breath hitch, and she wonders just where her partner’s mind has wandered off to.
But a moment later, Blake takes a deep breath and her hands slide to Yang’s right shoulder instead. It’s a strange emotion that Yang feels swirl in her chest, as Blake starts to work out the tension there, and she’s not entirely sure what to call it.
But then she feels something different, something physical and emotional that has her heartbeat steady. It takes a moment for her to place what it is, but when she does it’s unmistakable; Blake’s aura spilling into her, as her hands run softly – so softly – over the curve of her bicep, over the scar tissue where her arm meets the connector for her prosthetic, Blake’s touch filling the part of her that had been missing for far too long.
The feeling is overwhelming and Yang lets out a shuddering sigh, feeling the beginning of tears prickling at the corners of her shut eyes.
It’s over too soon for her liking, Blake cutting the connection once Yang’s own aura starts to fill in the last of the weak points.
The pain she’s so used to has faded, but now Yang feels an emptiness that tugs at her heart. The only way she can think of to fill the loss is to see her, and so she flips over.
There’s a moment – a very brief moment – after Yang turns where she gets to see Blake above her, straddling her waist, eyes darting down of their own accord and cheeks tinting pink. Then, Blake’s off her in a rush, eyes averted as Yang reaches for her shirt and throws it on over her head in a hurry. The little voice in the back of her head says to be embarrassed, but she’s having trouble doing so with the small amount of pride in her chest at Blake’s reaction.
She feels bad for even thinking it after Blake had been so nice, so respectful, and so Yang shakes the thought from her head and glances at her partner, gaze still straying in the other direction.
She should say something. Anything. But words don’t come immediately, and so she reaches out and brushes her hand against Blake’s arm. Blake looks at her and she feels the overwhelming need to be closer again and so she leans forward, wrapping her arm around Blake in a loose hug for several moments before she pulls back, finally finding her voice.
“Thank you. I mean it, I—I needed that.” She keeps it vague because she’s fairly certain the massage isn’t what she means. But the implication is there, and she simultaneously hopes that Blake can hear it while also wishing she only takes her words at face value.
“I know,” Blake says, and there’s a moment where Yang thinks that’s where this ends; but then Blake’s eyes soften and her mouth opens and closes twice, and words are spilling out in a certain amount of desperation that Yang’s not used to seeing from her partner. “I missed you, Yang. I missed you so much. And – And I get if you don’t want me to be, but I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you now.”
Yang swallows hard, her jaw locking. It’s everything she wants to hear and yet she’s having trouble believing it. She always trusted that Blake would be there for her before… everything, but now…
Gods but she wants to. She feels her face fall, her bottom lip tremble, tears flood her eyes without any right, and there’s just one thing she needs to ask.
“Do you promise?” Her voice cracks, and she knows. She knows she’ll believe whatever Blake’s about to tell her, but she just needs to hear it. She’s been missing a part of herself for too long and she doesn’t want to remember what life was like without it again – without her again.
She doesn’t let her tears fall until after Blake has pulled her into her lap, her face burrowing into the soft fabric of Blake’s robe as she rocks her gently.
“I promise, sweetheart. I promise.”
Sweetheart. The word makes Yang’s heart soar and she can’t imagine life with it never passing Blake’s lips again. She turns her head just slightly so she can speak, her words a whisper against Blake’s neck.
“Okay,” she says. Then again, her breath slowly becoming steadier. “Okay. I believe you.”
Blake’s arms tighten around her and Yang slips her arm around her waist, slowly breathing in the scent of Blake’s shampoo, savoring the moment of getting to hold her again.
Of finally having her home.
“I missed you too,” Yang says after a moment, her thumb stroking gently over the curve of Blake’s spine.
She feels Blake shift and press a kiss to her temple, the telltale tilt of a smile on the lips against her skin, and Yang feels she’s finally home too.