Phoenix Down - Zero

by NeverRead (AerSync)

Summary:

His name was Zero Kiryu, but it hadn't always been that. He’d had another name once, Before – another life. But the Now was all that mattered in the end, right?

What would have happened had Zero known what was going to happen from the start? What would have changed and what would have remained the same? Would he have saved his parents? And what about Ichiru? How would their relationship have changed? Would he still have ended up loving Yuuki? And would his hatred for vampires have changed at all??
Reincarnation. Not really (or at all) SI, as Zero is still Zero – just with slightly different motivations and opinions due to circumstances and experiences. SLASH. YAOI.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Notes:

This all began with me wanting to see what would have happened had Zero possessed the knowledge of what was going to happen in the future. In the beginning I thought about making him a time traveller, coming back to his child body to change the past and all that, but then I got stuck in a SI phase and thought, what the hell, why not?
Thus after reading about SI ending up as Yuuki and other characters I decided to try and see what would happen if I put one in Zero' skin. It will still be him (as I find him perfect as he is, so why change him?) only with a few more memories at his disposal and new knowledge. It will not change him completely. In fact, mostly it will only come up at the beginning and when he ponders on knowledge he should not have otherwise, but for the rest he will be completely Zero, the SI thing is only an excuse to give him that knowledge and it will be that, mostly, that will change his behaviour a little in some cases, not him being another person. Oh and this will be SLASH/YAOI of course.

One last thing, I started this story with the intention of it being ZeroxKaname centric but...well, Zero dragged me away forcibly, got a hold of Ichiru and now would not let him go, so... well, who knows how it will end up? I'm open to everything, even a KanamexZeroxIchiru threesome. It's up to you really. And Zero. Let's us never forget Zero. There's just no telling what the stubborn arse will do. He could even turn this fic completely on its head and end up with Aidou, Kain, Ichijou or maybe even Shiki or Kaito (no Yuuki, however. She will not be bashed or anything, but she will only ever end up as a sister to him and to Kaname as well if this goes as planned. Maybe there is space to arrange something more but in that case it’ll be only related to heirs and because I really fucking love Ren and Ai is cute as well I guess). Right at this moment, however, the intention is for this to end up KanamexZero.

Maybe I’ll insert some flirting here and there with someone but nothing too much, or with too many – I don't see it being Zero's way after all, but he’s still a teenage boy and will be at least slightly lighter in this fic than in canon. And not in love with Yuuki, of course, that also helps. I guess, with how twisted Vampire knight really is in those things, I could still have Zero and Kaname have something with Yuuki and Kaname while being the real couple. In short, anything is possible. Give me your opinion maybe and I can perhaps insert some one-sided crushes or mutual likes with someone (perhaps a past story in the case of Kaito?) but nothing too important, a way to enforce a closer bond, maybe.

Well then, what else is there to say but R&R? I’ll leave you to it, hope you’ll enjoy!

Oh and this work was cross-posted in FF.net

A/N: Only the first chapter (or the prologue really) is in first person.

And then I died.

Death – A strange place to start a story, I know, but it really was the origin of all that happened in my life, strange as it sounds.

I don't remember exactly how it happened – there is little I remember about 'the Before' at all, in fact.

Only snow. The never-ending snow falling around me.

I did not feel the cold, only shocking numbness as I lay on the soft, white carpet, staring up at the black sky tinged with white.

Then, the Darkness came over me, distant shouts failing to reach my ears.

This is really all there is to say about Before.

I think I was a girl back then, or maybe a boy – It really is not too clear, nor too important in truth – with an average family and an average life. It hardly matters anymore.

Now, I'm as far from average there can be, something which I still don't know it's a good thing or not.

It certainly did not seem so for a long time.

l

O

l

The first thing I remember after Death, is The Darkness.

An all-encompassing darkness which seemed to never end and enclosed everything into it, including my Self.

It was warm and peaceful, safe, in a hazy and not-really-conscious way.

It took me a long while to realize I was not part of the Darkness, but in fact had a distinct consciousness from it.

It took me even longer to realize that my presence was not whole at all but made up of two halves instead – If that even made any sense.

Later then, I realized the other halve had an entirely distinct consciousness from my own.

There was another presence beside my own. A presence I now realized had been there since the very beginning, but I'd simply assumed was a part of me. I could swear at points I could still feel as if it were mine. Yet, it was not so.

We were not one, but two.

Still, I could feel a bond between us that almost made that notion appear ridiculous.

Of course we were one. We were made to be one.

I had yet to be conscious of having a body then, there were no physical boundaries at all it seemed, only us and our two consciousnesses uniting into a single presence.

We often huddled together, sticking so close, becoming one or separating once more as we wished it. There were no confines at all between One and the Other.

It was beautiful, a communion so great nothing could compare, a communion of souls and life itself. It felt like nothing could divide us back then.

And then the time came that we became physical entities, gaining physical bodies and the awareness of being permanently distinct; and suddenly our souls felt constricted, halved, missing, and they longed to reunite, to become one once more.

As this process took place, I could feel the tiny body of the presence that was once I, press against the side of my own slowly forming body – almost trying to be reabsorbed once again, to become the One we once were.

I was the same, trying to enclose the other presence completely, feeling the hole inside my soul so keenly as it cried out for its missing piece.

I remember I had always unconsciously coiled around the other presence even before, trying to hold it, protect it like something precious. It was my soul, my jumbled instincts and perceptions had said. It was the most precious and perfect part of me and I had to protect it. There was no question to it, no doubts nor hesitation – it had to be protected above all else. It could not be made to disappear, it had to keep existing and living beside me, if not inside me.

In fact, I somewhat liked that it was another presence, distinct but at the same time united with my own to form a sole being. I had liked it when we shared everything and had no boundaries, were a single soul, but I did not wish to return to when we were each unaware of the other. I wanted to feel it there, beside me while being part of me at the same time, and I had a feeling if we became one completely once again, then It would lose its own bright consciousness, engulfed by my own. I did not want that – It was too precious.

I only wished our physical restraints would disappear and leave us as before.

And thus, we grew like this inside the Darkness. We each were the first presence the other sensed, the first thing the other felt. We were each part of the Other. We tried to remain as close as possible as our physical boundaries grew and with them, our awareness of our surroundings.

At some point, we started to feel a soft thrumming resonating around us. It beat in time with Our soul, coming from nowhere and everywhere at once, embracing us. It was...strange, comforting, coming from outside and inside both, vibrating within Our begin. It was a little later we realized there were two distinct beats, a soft thumping coming from us and one beating around us, almost with the same rhythm but at the same time distinct. It only beat in true sync with One and the Other's, as we were one after all – we shared everything, and everything was one (One Soul One Heart).

Our Heart beating in sync always calmed us, a physical proof of our Oneness instead of the usual boundaries that came from it.

After a while we started hearing other noises as well – voices, my mind whispered – coming from outside the welcoming Darkness. They felt as warm and safe as the Darkness itself, although then we could not understand what they meant.

We huddled together to listen to it at times. Others, My Other Half fussed while hearing them and so I tried to push out at them, moving hands and feet I only then realized to possess.

Other times yet - when My Other was distressed by our distinct presence and my closeness only amplified the sense of loss and hollowness - I reached out for them (for the voices) on my own, trying to get them to reassure My Half, but it did not always work. Often times it was me the only thing able to calm my Other, even when it was my presence to cause their distress in the first place.

We remained together in the Darkness for what felt like an eternity, although we did not have a sense of time yet, nor of anything that was not Our self, the Darkness or the Voices.

Then, one day, it all changed.

Suddenly, the Darkness started to compress around us – the welcoming embrace becoming a cruel clamp. Dangerous rather than safe. And we felt Our Self being squeezed along. Something was pushing to bring us somewhere, dividing us. I pushed back, trying to get safety for my Other Half at least, but it was useless – I was useless.

I felt myself being squeezed one last, painful time before the sharp pain of breathing with my own lungs for the first time and being hit by too many stimuli at once invaded my senses. Then, I felt myself being fully, irrefutably, separated from my Other for the first time in my life.

I cried.

It was an almost physical pain, feeling a little like being pulled in two opposite directions – neither hold deterring as they pulled and pulled at you till your something gave and you tore in half.

But the worst pain was the one my soul felt as it was left grasping for something that was no longer there, reaching further than it was used to stretch in its fledgling state. I felt...incomplete. I did not like it. At all.

I felt myself being handled by different presences – others – which registered as strange and outsiders to my soul as it desperately tried to stretch, to find the one it recognized as belonging. Our Own.

At that moment, another cry broke the air, another soul – My soul – crying out as my own. I instantly knew it was my Other Half and felt immediately reassured to have found it again. The relief did not last long however, as we were not reunited as I had hoped, but brought even further apart instead. I could not understand what was going on back then, I only knew they were taking my Other away and I remember our screams, rising till they joined as one, united, no matter how far apart we were.

I think we cried till we were settled back together, bodies touching, huddled close as we were in the Darkness, although they felt more restrictive than ever before, strange layers being added to keep us firmly as distinct beings.

I remember opening my eyes for the first time then – as I felt my Other presence being finally settled back into Its rightful place beside me – and being met with the most stunning and beautiful sight I could ever imagine.

The first thing I saw, was my Other Half's gorgeous, huge, teary lilac eyes. We were so close I could see them perfectly, despite my hazy and blurry eyesight, and I knew It did as well.

I came to a realization then, one I abide to still now.

My Other was even more precious than anything I could have thought before, and I had to protect and cherish It, no matter the price.

Not much is to be said about what happened after. Our souls and bodies too strained from the stress of leaving the Darkness and our forceful separation to remain conscious.

From that day onward however, everything had changed for us. The Darkness was left and we could no longer stay together as we liked. Those…foreign presences kept separating us. Some were familiar, however, and reminded us of the Voices we felt when still engulfed by the Darkness. Those presences always reunited us in the end, although each time still took way too long for our liking.

With time, we learned how to sense each other even further apart and we soon stopped being distressed when separated as we could still feel each other, still be One - united, even when divided.

It came to a point we could feel the other's presence anywhere in what we later came to realize was our home, and a bit still after it – although we still did not like it and always longed to reunite.

Months passed and slowly a strange knowledge started to filter into my brain. Memories of things I should not know and should not realize nor understand. I had always felt more strangely aware even when we were back inside the Darkness – one of the reasons, I suspect, why My Other recognized myself as the main body of our common soul and tried to engulf itself within my presence.

It was, perhaps, also the reason why our presences managed to keep separated, however much I detested our physical limitators (Bodies – such useless things when you had-).

I did not care about them, aside from the fact that they helped me protect My Other better and be closer to It. I did not care for the memories of the average girl/boy I had once apparently been as s/he went about her/his life. It was not me, not anymore – I realized that without problem or drama, as my new self was much more than I, for I was Myself and My Other. There was no Other in my memories and thus I did not care for them. I only cared that they expanded my ability to think and to realize. I know part of that at least, if not the memories themselves (I don't think, no...no memories, at least not many or too clearly, only the effects as we shared everything, even our brains) bled through to My Other as he also became more aware and started to realize and process things – although whether to the same extent or not remained to be seen.

It was thanks to that we came to realize what we were: Brothers. Twins. It felt so restricting a term for what we felt, however, that we simply referred to each other as Our Others in our minds. There was no need for labels or identifications: we simply were and we were Each Other.

It was also at that point we realized what (or who as it were) the two other presences always around us were – our parents – and that what we remembered as coming out of The Darkness was our birth taking place.

The words that filtered around us were still unfamiliar – another language – but I could get a few words here and there making sense sometimes, almost as if I had already heard them somewhere before and only had to remember it (Japanese my memories whispered).

We learned our names then as well, although we still had troubles understanding which of us was named what – we still, even to that point, had difficulties differentiating Our Self from each other at times – and as such we simply kept not using them. We really had no need for such things anyway as they where only needed to distinguish us further.

I still remembered the names, however, as they sparked some half-forgotten memories...I swore could always feel them at the edge of my mind but could never seem to quite grab onto them fast or long enough. Besides, one of those names belonged to my Precious Other and even if I could not tell which one (not yet) and for however useless they were to us, it had to be treasured like every other part of It.

Zero and Ichiru.

Those were our names, but I did not realize till much later what they meant for us and for this new life I had found myself in.

Notes:

Well, this is it for the first chapter! A little short perhaps but the next one will be longer – and with a lot less notes, promise.

What do you think? Please let me know. Also, what do you all thing about my writing? Good, bad, passable? Did I make too many grammar errors? Let me know all you find, I’m eager to improve following your advices!

Even if you don’t think you’ll keep reading this, please review anyway and let me know why! Maybe I could resolve some problems that way as well.

In short, Write down anything and everything you want to say!

Chapter 2: Realization & Resolutions

Notes:

Hi guys, here it's the next chapter.
As promised it's longer and I won't bore you too much with notes.

Things remain mostly canon for now and will only start showing changes further on – especially once Zero ends up with the Chairman and Yuuki and they start Cross Academy, of course.

On another note, someone asked of me wether this story will contain Mpreg or not, so I thought I should address the matter here: No, there will be no Mpreg. Nothing wrong with it, but I don't think it'd fit well with the feeling of this story. Besides that, I don't personally care much for it either. Hope no one will be too disappointed!

Oh, another thing, I made a new cover for this fic. if you're curious and want to check it out, I'll leave the link at the end of the chapter!

Now, without further ado, I'll leave you to the story. Hope you'll like it and feel generous enough to review (;

When Realization had finally hit, Zero had nearly fainted. Probably would have as well had it not been for Ichiru's precious presence beside him, giving him strength.

It had been a few years since what had been now dubbed as The Day by both him and Ichiru, and they had finally learned to differentiate themselves from one another if need be – although they still did not like to. It just felt so lonely and still so incredibly hollow...

Did other people live like that their whole lives? Never knowing something was missing, always reaching without knowing for what? He did not remember much of his time Before (Before this life, Before their new parents, Before the Darkness...Before his Other) but he still remembers the muted loneliness, the wishful thinking, and the indefinite searching that characterizes the human race as a whole. Was that why? He never realized...

In those years, Zero had done as pledged and took care of his Other Half, entertaining him and looking after him – taking care he did not hurt himself in his thirst for knowledge, keeping him back as he was about to fall or pulling him up if he needed it. He made sure he had everything he wanted, calling out to their parents if something was missing or his Other needed something (like a diaper change. Ugh) and trying to fatten him up by giving him the last of his milk if he was still hungry (as their mother could not breastfeed them...luckily). He gladly gave his own things and also himself, holding him close when the loneliness overtook him and generally making sure he had everything he could need to be happy, if a little spoilt.

He would always give everything of his own to his Other. After all, they were One, and did that not mean that everything was already His from the start?

They had finally adapted to their new physical limitations, now only fearing the cultural ones society would impose on them in the years to come, while still enjoying the present. They were still young then, almost two.

It was around that time when It happened.

Their parents had always told them bedtime stories about vampires. It had gone on since they were old enough to sleep in their own little bed at least (still one bed for now, but soon it would be two...too soon but not yet, we are One yet). They would tell them incredible stories, of them going to fight the creatures of the night and saving lives together once older, but Zero had always simply thought them as his family' strange and more cruent version of superhero stories and fairy tales.

That is, he did. Till one-night their father came home covered in blood, a strange teen supporting him as he staggered through the front door.

He didn't think that was the first time it happened either (Hazy memories of similar sounds passed through his mind as he thought back, desperately searching for another reason, another explanation. He found none). It was, probably, just the first time it happened since he and Ichiru were old enough to walk on their own and trusted enough alone to not be confined to their crib (Zero had been the first to take a step, watching as Ichiru shakily tried to stand up, pushing on even with his still weak legs, the need to support his Other had filled him. The want for Ichiru to lean on him as he took his first, unsteady steps. On the other side Ichiru had been the first to speak, his first word directed at him. Zero had been so happy and touched he had said his first word right back then and there).

They were in the living room that day, playing with their toys while Mother prepared dinner.

He remembers standing up at the strange sounds, their mother rushing past them through the crack of the half-open door. He remembers looking through the gap as Ichiru stood beside him, holding his hand tightly as they watched on.

He will never forget how their father looked then, covered in blood and staggering, even as the unknown teen (young man?) helped to hold him up.

"Come on Kiryuu, a little help here. You're heavy you know?"

"Shut...up Yaga-ri"

He remembers pushing Ichiru slightly behind him then, staring in shock even as their mother helped the stranger bring father in and close the door. Her voice was barely even trembling, firmly asking what had gone wrong as if used to it. As if it was...normal.

He remembers listening as they started talking, talking about vampires (impossible, it's not true, cannot be..undeniable, proof) and putting together a scene sounding like a bloodier and cruder version of one of their bedtime stories.

It was then it hit him. Something from Before and the memories that came of That Time. It was one of the few things, strangely, that had not completely eroded away. Only at that moment he understood the importance of those names he had previously thought superfluous, dots connecting in his head:

Zero and Ichiru.

Kiryuu. Twins. Vampires.. Vampire Knight.

He'd ended up in a manga. A fictional world. A fictional world of vampires and war. As one of its main characters and with a tragic backstory to boot. At that moment he knew, in only a few years the life he'd come to know was going change once again. His parents were going to die – calculated sacrifices in a lonely, selfish, revived pureblood's plan to save his Light – and he'll end up as just another Pawn, irremediably changed into the one thing he'll be raised to fight.

The thing that scared him the most, however, was that soon (too soon, it's not enough, never enough) his own Light will be taken from him and later killed, his last breath taken by his own very hands. He will return to be just a part of him, his bright consciousness forever lost...

A hard determination wrought by despair filled him then: No. He'll never allow that to happen. He will protect his Other. He won't let him be caught up in some damn pureblood's plans. Some things may have to happen, but he'll make sure he'll survive in the end, no matter the cost.

It was a promise. His Resolution.

From that day onward, he (Zero – he was Zero now, Kiryuu Zero) started to pay much more attention to his parents' bedtime 'stories', trying to piece together what was going on in the hunter world. It wasn't easy, especially as he really had no idea what to look for in the first place. He had no idea, really, of how hunters worked. Knew nothing more than them being all reunited under the Hunter Association and headed by a president...whom, if his memories were correct, became corrupt and in league with the Vampire Council at some point...only he did not know when.

He listened with bated breath anyway, trying to catch some information on the pureblood world as well – trying to see if he could find out what was going on with the Kurans now. Had Yuuki already been changed into a human? Was she living with the chairman now or still hidden away under the Kuran Manor? Was she even born already? He did not even remember when she was born. It had been a long time since he'd watched or read anything about that world after all. He remembered she was supposed to be in his same class however, so they should be the same age. Unless he had waited back one year? Or unless vampires developed slower than humans. Could she have been born years before him? And at what time did she get changed into a human? Around 5? 7? It was frustrating, knowing something was going to happen but not remembering the details.

Thus, he listened – to the 'bedtime stories', to their parents talking when they thought he wouldn't hear nor understand. When they were on the phone, or even when they were relaxing around their family, letting information slip they didn't think a two years old baby would know what to do with. He'll have to know when something important happened, after all. Had to know the exact moment their parents went after Shizuka's lover. He knew it was a long time coming but he had to get in the habit now. It would not do to let any important information slip by him due to carelessness after all.

Thinking about what could happen broke his heart.

The thought of his twin, his Other, being sad and lonely enough to think of doing something so drastic just to feel happy again...filled him with despair and hopelessness. Of course, his parent's death was deeply saddening as well but he simply could not bear the thought of his Other in pain. He resolved then to do everything in his power not to let the situation escalate so much. He will not let his Other reach that point, fall into such desperation. He will love him with his whole half of Their Soul and do his damnedest to make him feel happy and loved.

Perhaps, then, everything that happened in his memories – in that story – could be prevented. Ichiru would not seek out Shizuka if he was happy and thus he would not let her in when she came and maybe, just maybe, their parents could live on as well and he won't be turned either.

It was a long shot and he knew there was a huge possibility for things to not go as he wished. Other factors could come into play even if Ichiru did not help with the happenings and there was also the possibility that, despite all his best efforts, things wouldn't change. In that case, he knew he'd do anything he could to make sure Ichiru, at least, would be happy in the end.

Nothing else mattered, only his Other' safety and happiness.

In the meantime, he started to hold his Other even more precious to Their Heart, knowing as he did they could end up having so little time together. He'll hold dear every moment spent together, every day, every hour, every minute; memorize his every face and expression and immortalize them in his memory in the case that...they separated. For that purpose, he'd forcefully coerced his parents into taking as many pictures of his Other as he could, in as many positions and outfits as possible. It wouldn't do to lose even a little bit of his adorableness after all. It would not do at all.

Meanwhile, the years passed.

I

I

Zero stared down lovingly at the sleeping figure cradled in his arms. His better reflection, his Other.

They were in their bedroom right then, laying down for a late afternoon nap. Or at least, his Other was. He, instead, was too full of thoughts to sleep right then. Besides, he'd never waste any time he could spend looking at his Other Half and feel him close if he could – He just could not resist, nor could he bear missing any moment. It was simply too unacceptable a thought.

Time had gone by and Zero and Ichiru had grown with it.

They were still as close as before, always being together, still sleeping in each other's bed, each other's arms, even if their parents had started to try and separate them. Their bond was just as strong as ever as well, if not more so since Zero's Revelation.

He knew his time with his Other could end soon (too short, not enough, he wanted more time, more, more,  not possible...) and grew to cherish him and their present together even more. Ichiru was not simply his Other anymore, he was his entire Life, his only reason for existing. He was now certain that was why he'd been reborn, the true purpose for his new life, and he was happy with it. Extremely so in fact.

He could think of nothing better than gladly and joyfully dedicate his entire being to his Other, to make him happy. After all, they were one sole existence and he had already had a life on his own, one centred completely around himself and without his Other Half (Alone, always, searching but not there, so much pain and sadness, incomplete), it was only right to pledge his second one only to Him. Yes, he belonged completely to his Other and would not change it for the world.

Sighing contentedly at the thought, Zero once more looked lovingly down at the beautiful figure in his arms, a sad pang going through Their Heart as he took in his reddened cheeks and slightly laboured breath. His Other had been so excited from their parents' news of their starting training that he'd been up all night. Adding to that the strain of exercising all day and his small, frail body had not borne it.

As the years had went on, Ichiru's failing health had slowly begun to make itself known.

It was nothing serious at first, only a slightly weaker body, a slightly weaker immune system, getting a few more colds than Zero and falling ill slightly easier but as he grew, his condition seemed to worsen. It was almost as if his body didn't have nutrients sufficient to fully sustain said growth.

Zero felt wretched. He knew it was his fault, knew his Other's failing health was because he had taken something from him when they were growing inside Mother's womb. If it weren't for him, his Other would be happy and healthy. This just strengthened his resolve. It was only right of the existence that had robbed his Other of what was rightfully his. He'll be his Other's extension.

He will train himself to be the best, so that his Other could have the best at his disposal, just as he deserved, and he'll become strong enough to sustain and protect Him till he could do so himself (Yes, he just knew inside it was only temporary. Soon he would become strong enough and leave him behind – not needed anymore, soon, too soon, don't leave me... – but it did not matter, only His happiness mattered – but did He need to leave him to be happy?).

This was why, when the man had come that day, he'd stared back into his soon to be Master's eyes (the same man from long ago, the day when everything really started, before the Realization) and vowed with his whole begin he'll do his damnest to become the best hunter his Other could wish for.

Zero sighed contemplatively, borrowing closer to his Other. Stroking His cheek softly as to not wake him, he noted his breathing had become smoother and his body temperature had returned to normal, meaning the medicine Ichiru ingested finally took effect. Yes, he'd do everything in his power, suffer every sin imaginable, to make it so the precious being in his arms could be happy.

In the meantime, however...he carefully disentangled himself from his Other's arms, giving him a pillow to hug in his stead. There could not be a second wasted, and Ichiru was just too adorable right now to let the moment slip, forgotten in the flow of time – no, it needed to be immortalized. Objective firmly determined, he left to find their parents, making sure not to make too much noise. A camera was urgently needed after all.

I

I

It hadn't taken long for their parents to start their training.

By that point, they'd slowly introduced them to the reality of Vampire's existence and their role in fighting them (too late, useless, already knew, why, why, why?).

The stories told were toned down due to their age, of course, and embellished enough to exalt the Hunters' role and importance, but they served their purpose well enough anyway – Initiating them to a hunter's mentality. It was a sort of brainwashing, he'd realized, an indoctrination.

At barely five years old, their minds deemed conditioned enough for the moment, it was time to start working on their bodies as well.

Ichiru had been ecstatic, probably hoping the training would help reinforce his body. It was probably what their parents hoped as well, thinking about it (won't work, useless, it's my fault, only mine, but soon..too soon...).

Yagari Toga was one of the best vampire hunters the Association had to offer and – from what he could remember from past memories – a good man as well, hiding great kindness and care behind a gruff exterior.

There wasn't much in his memories from Before about this time of his life. Zero only knew that at one point Yagari lost an eye protecting him (How? Don't remember. Why? What happened? When?) and that at some point they'll be joined by another kid (Yato? Kain? Maito? No wait, wrong anime). Thus, for this part of his life at least, he could only go about with no previous knowledge, living day by day as normal people do.

The day of their first meeting they'd all been standing outside, their parents at each side of their soon to be Master. The twins had stood before them, side by side, shoulders touching, hands brushing, looking up at them with a mix of expectancy and apprehension – both knowing what was going to happen and who this man was going to be for them.

"My boys", came the strong voice of their father, a hand clasped on the other man's shoulder "this is Yagari Toga. He's one of the best vampire hunters around and from now on he is going to be your Master. Listen to him and soon you'll become great hunters just like your parents!" He grinned, winking at us before turning towards Yagari.

"Toga, those are our sons, Zero and Ichiru" he presented proudly, pointing to each in turn "we leave them in your hands".

Yagari, who up to that point had remained silent, observing them with intent, scrutinizing eyes, spoke up.

"Boys," he greeted, tone gruff already even at a young age.

"From today onwards I am to be your Master. Don't expect me to go easy on you because I'm friend with your parents, for I won't – hunter training is hard for a reason. Put yourselves in my hands, however, and I'll give my damndest to make sure you'll both survive and become the best hunters you can be".

Zero's body tensed at that (survive, survive, must survive, protect, protect, must, train...) while he could feel his Other vibrate beside him in mixed excitement and apprehension. He could tell how much his counterpart wished for this. Zero squared his shoulders then, hands tightened into fists and eyes narrowed as he stared with burning determination back into their newly appointed Master's eyes.

In one movement and with one voice, he and his Other bowed down in respect.

"Please take care of us"

One voice, two intonations, two different meanings, mixed excitement and determination (Won't die, can't, must survive, become the absolute best).

Master Yagari looked hard at the both of them, dark eyes staring intently yet again. Perhaps it was his imagination but Zero thought those eyes lingered on him a second longer than on his Other before the man nodded, inclining his head slightly in return to them.

"Very well".

Their training had started that same day.

Their newly appointed Master had started them off easily enough, with a little physical conditioning alongside quizzes on their general knowledge of vampires, what they had learned from their parents. Zero knew it would not last long though – he was studying them, testing them, assessing, and leaving them the time to do the same. At that point, he knew, their training would start for real.

He'd been right.

Soon enough, their training began picking up, becoming harder, lasting longer and becoming more and more complicated, both physically and mentally. Zero and Ichiru's lives had become completely filled, organized from morning till evening. It was hard and exhausting exercise but quite fulfilling, to tell the truth, and besides there were many pauses in-between, to not stress out their small, young bodies too much.

Everything was calculated and calibrated to be just exactly afte the extremes of what they could safely handle, and never more. Pushing just enough to break past their limits but not enough to break themselves. They also had plenty of time to play and spend with each other, of course, and their rest time wasn't lacking at all. It wasn't constructive to a good training to be constantly exhausted, after all.

Zero loved it. He did not remember much of Before, but he knew he had never done anything like that. He vaguely recalled memories of remembered instruments and water but nothing so intense and all-consuming like what they were doing now. It was...satisfying. Trying hard, giving your best at something and be rewarded with a perfect result. Their Master even said that if they kept progressing like this he'd introduce them to weapon fighting and hunter spells sooner rather than later. He could not wait.

Not everything was good however. Due to Ichiru's fragile health, he frequently had to stop half-way through a session or skip them entirely at times. He could see (feel, One Soul, two bodies, connected, forever) his Other's growing disappointment and frustration grow each time it happened, and it brought him to train even harder, do better – his Other spurring him on from the side, where he always stood to watch him train when he could not join (he always did worse when Ichiru was too sick to watch, his thoughts with his Other, stuck sick in bed, far from him. He knew Yagari-shishou noticed, he always stopped their sessions earlier during those days, although not before giving him a look and ruffling his hair).

All put together, Yagari-shishou revealed himself to be a superb teacher and guardian, and they quite liked what they had going on.

With them under their Master's care, their parents had started going out more often as well, taking more and longer missions, leaving them with always increasing frequency under their Master's watchful eye.

Truly, it did not bother Zero too much. He did love his parents of course – they were the ones who brought him in this world and the ones who gave him Ichiru after all, his Twin, his Other Half. He had grown quite attached and he really hoped he could manage to save them from the fate lying in wait, hoped for a bright, happy future they could all live together in – but he could still remember another set of parents and he knew, as long as he had his Other by his side, he would not break, would not feel alone. No matter how cruel it could seem, his Other would always be his top priority, his happiness and well-being coming before everything else to Zero, even himself.

The years passed like that and without them even realizing it, the time they both feared finally came: school.

They didn't like it – at all. The lessons were simple and quite boring, their classmates annoyingly loud and quite childish and the teachers were nothing in comparison to their Master, treating them with condescension due to their age and completely ignoring their intellect. Most gravely, however, they separated them, sending each one to a different class and obliging him to leave his Other alone for hours. Unforgiving.

Ichiru always got sick those times and the infirmary was the only place they could reunite in during lessons time (He knew half the times it was not true, just an excuse, a pretext, to see him again – reunited, together, One – but the other half it was, and half the time was often enough for him – hurt, alone, wrong, protect, protect, protect – somehow Ichiru always got ill more easily if separated for too long).

It was because of those frequent visits they got to know the school nurse so well.

She was really beautiful, gentle and oh so kind to them (to his Other), letting Ichiru remain there even when she knew he really had nothing, closing an eye when Zero visited him during class time and allowing him to stay with his Other, climbing on the bed with him, holding him (Can't let go, Never, One Soul, Together, always, Never, Never...No..Must...). She took care of them and even gave them sweets when they visited, buying their favourite ones just for them. Ichiru really liked her, and he did as well. They were certainly her most assiduous patients.

They never knew what really hid under that kind and beautiful facade...not until it was too late.

It was a day like any others when it happened. Ichiru had fallen ill for real this time and their Master had been called to take them home like he always did in these cases. Zero had been in bed with Ichiru then, like he always was. They were huddling together while the kind nurse took care of them, like she always did.

Then...something different happened. He did not recall exactly how it came to be, his memories of those moments hazed and overshadowed by the later happenings but, somehow, he cut himself on something. It was not too bad a cut, nothing serious, probably only a little scratch really, but enough to bleed just that little bit. It had been enough.

By then having probably been at the end of her rope, what with working as a nurse and all, it must have been the last straw for her. Not to mention they were hunters – strong, pure-blooded and twins at that – and it was well known that hunter blood always tasted better than a normal human's (He thought it was due to how they were created honestly, purest blood running through their veins, still strong though probably diluted).

Busy looking at his hurt arm, his attention was recalled when Ichiru let out a strangled gasp. Looking back up at his twin, he saw his eyes wide in shock and fixed on something behind him.

"N-nii-san..."

When Zero turned around he was met with red, red, crimson eyes.

A twin gasp escaped his lips as the two of them stared into the once warm brown eyes of their beloved nurse. They knew immediately what she was.

Even knowing that, however, they could not believe their most beloved nurse, the one who took care of them almost like a mother would, healing them and looking after them all this time, would ever hurt them. It was simply inconceivable, no matter her nature.

Yes, it had been naïve of them to think so, especially with Zero supposedly being really an adult in a child's body and already knowing what Level Es could do – how they could become, their true, inescapable nature. However, although he had the memories of another life – blurred as they were – in him, and the training of a hunter, he was still a child in all that mattered, and to have seen/read/heard something was definitely different from living it. That was something he learned that day and something that served him well in mind in the future.

He knew Level Es were dangerous, threatening to turn into an uncontrollable beast at a moment notice, however despite what he could remember from both his Master's lessons and his other memories (or perhaps even exactly due to them as he vividly remembered his supposedly future self, watching his struggles and real nature, how hard he resisted and fought and maintained control) he could not help but also remember the warm eyes of the nurse, the loving touches and ever-kind smiles.

 

It was, as it turned out, estremely difficult to see someone you knew and loved and look at them not as a person anymore but as a bloodthirsty beast at a moment's notice. Besides, he knew Ichiru liked her as well and it was really difficult for his Other to like someone.

It was due to those thoughts rushing through his mind that he did nothing but stand guarded as she came closer, eyes crimson red and lost in some kind of haze.

"Nee-san?" he calls out, childish conviction trusting that she would not hurt them and will regain her senses soon.

It was also what guided his actions in the following happenings and led to what would forever be one of the greatest regrets in t/his life.

The nurse had almost reached their bed. Her movements were slow and almost clumsy, her nostrils flaring and expression dazed, but right before she did, the sound of the door being slammed open echoed in the room, catching their attention and making her jump back with a hiss.

Their Master came blazing into the room then, guns blazing and expression hard. He surveyed the room briefly, his trained eyes taking in every detail in seconds.

"Zero, take Ichiru and run" was all he said then, eyes never straying from the nurse's form.

He didn't. Couldn't. For the first time since they met each other, Zero disobeyed an order from their Master. He knew perfectly well what would happen if he left the room and did not want for it. He knew, logically, that all Level Es had to be terminated, but it was a completely different thing to see it happen - know it was going to happen - to someone you knew. How could he simply reconcile with the idea of...killing someone? Killing her?

Zero threw himself down the bed but instead of getting away as told, he ran as fast as his little body would allow and put himself between his Master and the kind nurse, arms spread to protect her form, sensing that Ichiru wanted to do something as well but was too sick to manage it.

"Wait, Master!" he exclaimed earnestly, eyes wide and pleading as they land on the blazing form of their Master, "Don't hurt her! She's the school nurse, she'd never harm us!"

Yagari-shishou paused then, hands still on the trigger as for the first time he briefly took his eyes off the Level E to give him a hard look.

"Get away from her, Zero! She is not the person you knew anymore, she's a Level E now!" he exclaimed back harshly, an urgent undercurrent to his words.

"But she-" Zero started to protest, failing to notice the nurse moving behind them. Finally recovered from their Master' sudden entrance, her beast called for the blood that had awakened it. The boy barely heard the worried "Zero-nii!" from his Other before something came over him, pushing him away and covering his small form.

When he regained his bearings once more, Yagari-shishou was already before him, face hard and impassive even as blood streamed down his cheek, pistol pointed at the creature before them. Creature, yes, because what stood before them at that moment was not, could not be, the kind, gentle nurse he and Ichiru had known anymore. He saw that now. The thing staring down at them with that crazed expression and bloodied claws was a monster who had taken over her body. There was no trace of her anymore in those crazed crimson orbs.

In the next moment, it was already over. A clear shot rang in the room and the creature screeched in pain before succumbing to it, its body nothing now but dispersing ashes.

What happened after that was like a blur for Zero. He'd probably fallen into shock, thinking on it. He remembered his Other throwing himself at him, getting to him even in his weakened, sick state, and checking him for any injuries. He remembers doing the same for his twin, momentary lucidity returning when he realized the state of his Other and taking him in his deceptively small arms. After that, however, he only remembered gazing into the gory, sliced flesh that was once his Master's right eye and the blood running down from it. He could not stop thinking of what had happened and how it could have all been avoided had he only obeyed his Master.

He'd never before felt more remorseful and ashamed of himself than in that moment. He'd put himself in danger, worse, he had put his Other in danger, and their exiting of the situation unhurt was only due to Yagari-shishou's intervention – who had to pay the price of his stupidity and incompetence (His fault, only his, weak, pathetic, how could he not protect...stupid).

He'd even known it was going to happen sooner or later and had deluded himself into thinking he could avoid it, even without remembering how it had happened in the first place. How arrogant had he been, how stupid, thinking himself better only because he had memories of another life, thinking he could change whatever he wanted because he was better than that Zero – he was not a child after all and had foreknowledge. He'd been blinded by the omniscient feeling his memories of Before had given him, and their Master had paid for it.

It was that day that he realized he was no adult anymore. In this life, he was a child. No matter how mature for his age, both his body and mind were those of a child. The memories only gave him an edge, and would probably help him as his life went on, but one could not combat biology. His brain did not develop any faster than canon!Zero and neither did his thought process and emotions for the most part. The only advantage he had was being a pure blooded hunter. It was the only thing, mostly, that allowed his development to go so far.

He didn't remember much of the walk home, nor how they exited the school. The images of their Master's slashed eye and the crazed face of what had once been a kind, beautiful, young woman were the only things repeating in his mind.

He only vaguely registered it as Yagari-shishou left them home, making sure they were settled and closed in – their parents had once again been away on a mission – before going back out. Probably to treat his eye. He wondered if he'd have even lost it had he gotten treatment immediately, instead of having to take care of them first.

That night their parents returned, having been informed by their Master and hurried home. They were rather obviously dead with worry and held them in their arms all night, making sure they were alright. Not before scolding him and grounding him for the foreseeable future, of course.

I

I

The next time he had the occasion to see their Master was four days later. Their parents had gone away for another mission and Yagari-shishou had come to watch over them like usual.

He was laying outside in the garden at that moment, arms behind his head and one leg crossed over his raised knee.

They were supposed to do their running right then but Ichiru had understood Zero needed to do this and had pushed him away, telling him to go on in his own way.

Thus, here he was, before their Master once again. He could not stop looking at those white bandages, covering the damage his stupidity had wrought. He knew their Master knew he was there but the man did nothing to acknowledge his presence, letting him take the first step in his own time. Zero felt grateful for it, even though he could not bring himself to speak.

"...It's my fault..." he finally said in a small voice, "because of me, your eye...I'm sorry Master"

He still could not believe himself. He'd thought he understood Level Es were dangerous but living it in person...seeing the change happen to someone he knew...it had been too quick and drastic. He'd not been able to believe such a kind and caring person could have hurt them so easily. Perhaps it was due to his past memories. He knew, thanks to watching his future self, that level Es could still be snapped out of their blood lust if they had not fallen completely and had enough determination. He'd believed...

"You told me to run, and yet..." he had naively still believed she wouldn't hurt them. Had not been able to see such a person as a monster, hadn't wanted to believe there was no kindness left in her, no hope...and his Master had paid for it.

"Heh?"

Yagari-shishou snorted before raising himself, one hand on his raised knee and the other supporting his weight against the soft grass.

"Are you trying to make me regret throwing myself to protect you? Do you want me to regret risking my life to save you? Really...!" he scoffed.

Zero gasped in shock at those words, looking at the man with wide eyes.

"But, Master...wasn't she your fiancée?"

He'd remembered, Before, the one to take Yagari's eye was said to be his fiancée. He'd felt like hurling when making that connection. Was that true here as well? Was she... He remembers, this past year, musing to himself on their Master's strange behaviour around the woman. He was all...soft and... gruff, almost as if embarrassed. Back then he'd chalked it up to her being the first woman he'd really seen him interact with. If that hadn't been the case, however...had he really...

Their Master looked startled then, looking down at him in surprise, but Zero did not miss the flash of pain in that single eye. He clenched his fists, looking down.

"She was, right? And... because of me..."

He wondered whether he'd have snapped her out of it had he not needed to protect him. If they were so close, surely he'd have managed it, somehow...

A warm weight landing on his head startled him. A scoff.

"Tsk. I didn't save you to see this kind of expression" the man said even as his hand ruffled the boy's hair. The gesture was rough but at the same time...incredibly soft and caring.

"Master..." Zero whispered even as the hand rested gently on his small head.

"Honestly...!" he sighed, almost exasperated, "I don't know how you realized it but it was not your fault I shot her. By that point, there was nothing to be done"

Zero looked up then, startled. His wide, watery eyes stared at the man, truly seeing him for what felt like the first time.

He'd watched him countless times before, both in this life and the past one, but he'd never realized just how young he really was. The anime did not let on things like that and since meeting him the man had always appeared larger than life to his small self. Now, however, looking at his worn appearance and deep eyes, he could see it. He felt his respect for their Master, already high as it was, rise exponentially. He was so young and yet...he truly wished he could be exactly like him when he grew up (If he grew up. Was he going to, this time?).

"Master, why do vampires...hurt people?"

It was such a childish question, he knew, but he could not stop himself. He still could not erase that beast's face from his head. Those red, red eyes crazed with blood lust, fangs bared even as her throat was crushed. The image simply wouldn't overlap with that of the nurse's kind, warm smile as she took care of them. How could the two be the same? How could being turned into a vampire change such a good person so completely, that she'd hurt two children she cared for just moments before, without hesitation? It all seemed simple in theory and yet, once you lived it, so difficult to accept...

Their Master looked at him almost softly before replying.

"Because they are sorrowful creatures who cannot control their natural instincts..." he closed his eye then, tilting his head down slightly in sombre reflection. At the same time, his big, warm hand moved to Zero's nape, resting there as a comforting weight.

"Therefore, we must hunt them down. I, and the other vampire hunters, including the Kiryuu clan"

Yagari-shishou looked up then, staring intently into Zero's eyes with heavy intent, as if willing him to see.

"Live only for this. Do you understand, Zero? Vampires can only be our foes"

Those words, so harsh despite the soothing and calm voice, and the warm weight of that big, calloused hand, remained with him forever.

He knew, had personally experienced in fact, that a vampire's natural instincts could not be trusted. There'll always be some vampires succumbing to the fight against them, and some who didn't even bother to try. Level Es were extremely dangerous after they had fallen, simply because they had no more control.

In truth, they were simply the mirror of what all vampires were inside, what they could be should they not reign themselves in. A picture of their most basic nature. At least against them, he'll never hesitate again. He couldn't afford to. If nothing else, to put who they once were out of their misery.

He nodded determinedly, resolute and now dry eyes staring up at the man.

"Hai shishou"

He knew it wasn't exactly what their Master intended, referring probably to the vampire race as a whole with his words, but despite what happened on that day he knew, thanks to his memories of Before, that not all vampires were bad. He won't trust in them so naively anymore and would always regard and approach them with wariness from then on but he won't judge completely from prejudice either. Still, he won't let anyone get hurt because of his stupidity and naivety. Never again.

Notes:

Well then guys, this is it.
How did it go? Better than last chapter? Worse? The same? I hope it wasn't too boring. Do you like how I'm developing my Zero or not? Let me know what you think!

I'd like to thank all the people who took the time to read, Bookmark and kudos my fledging new story. A special thanks to all those who commented: Jazlyn191; Kizmetsoul and Absolute Zero, whom I also thant for the beautiful poem shared (And don't worry, Zero will find happiness in this story at least, even though he'll still have to suffer before that). Thank you all very much.

Oh, and I also hope you all like how I'm developing Zero and Ichiru's relationship, although admittedly not much was shown yet. Let me know what you think as well, Absolute Zero. Hope it is going in the direction you wished for.

A/N: As I said, here is the link for my new cover. Let me know what you think of it!

Chapter 3: And Slowly, Descending

Notes:

Hi guys, here is the 3rd Chapter. I hope you'll like it.

PLEASE NOTE that I made some changes in the previous chapter, in that I moved the Chairman's appearance here instead. The timeline wouldn't have fit otherwise as I found out the twins are, in fact, one year older than Yuuki in canon.

Aside from that, nothing much happens in this chapter, really...it's more of a filler honestly, but it's necessary nonetheless. I hope you'll like it all the same!

Many thanks to all the new people who read, subscribed and left kudos and also to all those who came back for my second, and now third, chapter.

Special thanks to SakuraVixx; Jazlyn191 and Absolute Zero for commenting, I'll leave your replies at the bottom! :)

Well, that's all I had to say. I'll leave you to the real story now, and please R&R!

After the Incident things turned back to normal, the only visible change being Yagari-Shishou's cool new eyepatch.

As testimony to his superior hunter skills, the man adapted swiftly to the perception shift the loss of an eye brought and resumed their training the moment he'd healed enough. As promised before, they had finally progressed on to more advanced studies, like starting on the basics of weapon handling and combat and more intense hand-to-hand sessions, together with harder physical conditioning.

Alongside their harsher physical training, they'd also progressed on the theory front. Seeing their intelligence, their Master had already started them on the theory behind spells – which was utterly fascinating to Zero as, thanks to his memories of Before, it sounded more like fiction reading than boring theory, and terribly 'cool' – and went on to teach them the intricacies of both Hunter and Vampire societies.

Contrary to the spell theory, this part interested Zero also because of necessity. Not only was he the son of a great lineage of Vampire Hunters and a Hunter-to-be himself but, if he didn't manage to change anything, in the close future he'll become part of Vampire society as well. Some of that information could potentially save his life one day and sure, he knew some of the main parts already, thanks to his memories of Before, but nothing about the inside-scenes mechanics and rules of both societies and there was a lot to learn.

His Other was particularly interested in the theoretic aspect as well. His curious nature made him want to know more about our world and the things they hunt while his frustrated and competitive side made him latch onto spell theory as hard as he could, reasoning they were the one thing he could do without his weak body getting in the way.

Their Master, seeing their interest and taking into consideration their sharp intellect, began to give them more detailed books and higher and more specific lectures on the subjects. At times like those, he really thanked whoever Up There had gifted them with higher than average minds in this life. Apparently, based on what their Master told them, it was partly due to them being pure-blooded Hunters: all their capacities, both physical and mental, were higher than normal as to be a match to their prey.

He wondered if the other factor was his reincarnation, somehow (like their brain adapting to the higher level of awareness or some other such thing) or if it were the same for canon Zero and Ichiru as well. They certainly seemed intelligent enough in the show.

(At times, he could almost swear his Other remembered as well. Some words, certain actions, a peculiar look at certain times… he wondered if something had effectively passed through to him. Not everything, just…things – It would made sense in truth, they were One after all, weren't they? – He wondered what he knew…)

In any case, since The Incident Zero threw himself even harder into their training. He'd vowed nobody would get hurt because of him ever again and was even more set on becoming stronger to protect his Other, now that they had seen with their own eyes what awaited them out there.

He gave his all in conditioning and hand-to-hand, never relenting, always pushing for more, and devoted himself to master all the weapons their Master presented them with. This was a part his Other enjoyed as well, as it did not stress his body out as much – at least for the moment.

They both had what looked like a natural talent for weapons in general, but each particularly favoured a different one. Zero found himself liking firearms more – the concentration and precision needed to aim correctly, the feeling of pulling the trigger, the satisfaction of seeing the bullet hit home, and the speed it all needed to be done at to be effective – he found them a challenge and enjoyed it immensely.

That their Master also used firearms was probably also a factor, due to the high respect and slight hero-worship he found himself feeling for the man. Not that he'll ever admit it of course. Contrary to their Master, however, he enjoyed smaller guns more.

Ichiru, on his end, favoured blades instead. It was beautiful to see him so graceful with a blade in his hands – he looked terribly elegant and deadly, it was a vision to see his frail body move in such a way. He was getting better and better every day, even with all the training sessions he had to skip due to his health.

They were working up to using them equally as good with both hands and Zero already could imagine how his Other would look like, locked in a deadly dance with a blade in each hand. He could almost see it. Their Master could as well if the proud and calculating glint in his eyes as he looked at him was anything to go by.

Ichiru was really dedicated to his blade training as well, practising all the times his body permitted him to, at times even when it didn't, hidden from others' sight. Zero knew, of course, but never said anything about it even knowing it could be bad for his health. He knew what brought it on, the frustration his Other felt with himself, and the need to prove he could be good at least at something.

He knew those feelings could – and probably would if he didn't manage to change anything – be more lethal to his Other than his frail health will ever be. Thus, he said nothing, choosing instead to look out for him in other ways. He always made sure to keep an eye on him on those days, supporting him silently from afar, reassuring himself he didn't collapse from the extra training and making sure he'd be there to catch him should he do.

He would always leave him things to find at the end. Nothing special, just little things like a water bottle, a pill of medicine when he forgot to take it, a towel, a favourite sweet when he did particularly well, simple things like that. His Other knew it was him of course but never said anything either, simply returning the favour when it was Zero who trained till collapsing.

Their Master knew what was going on as well, of course (could always tell when Ichiru or Zero practised outside their allotted training times) but limited himself to brief, well-aimed comments – like pointing out extensively how stressful going overboard could be for their bodies, even having the opposite effect and damaging them. At which point he usually gave them a look, making sure they looked out for each other. Not that there was any doubt they would in anybody's' mind.

Their parents started training them as well, teaching them of their family history in more details and teaching them about the spells the Kiryuu family was famous for: Warding Spells. It was apparently their speciality, in that only they could do some of the things their parents told them of. It was, Zero thought, really cool. His Other agreed as well.

Those, however, were about the only good things that year brought. Starting school and getting them in different classrooms was only the beginning of their parents' apparent strategy to separate them, it would seem. With the passing of October and of their 6th birthday, they apparently decided it was high time they both got separate rooms. They presented it as a birthday present, of course, trying to get them to see it on a positive light, having each a whole room all for themselves and all of that. Needless to say, they didn't buy into it and were less than pleased.

Ichiru was probably the one to manifest their discontent the most, his Other having always been the more expressive and outgoing of their Whole. Zero was not far behind however, with huge, pain filled eyes, an air of silent despondence and disappointed looks, along with his augmented closeness to his Other any time he could. As if making the best of the time they did have with each other, to survive the time they would be separated.

Not much different from what he was doing with those years he had left, truthfully. His Other was of course more than on board with it, being the one to initiate most of their contacts like usual and getting extensively clingy on those days.

Their parents looked on with comprehending tolerance at their behaviour, but Zero could not escape the feeling they were trying to get them to separate as soon as possible. After all, he could not forget what he saw in his memories of Before, where they had concluded their only solution was to separate them in the end. He could not help but think, perhaps unkindly, that they were already laying the ground down, now that it was starting to show their training wasn't seemingly doing anything for Ichiru's health. Hunters were practical people after all.

That night Ichiru snuck into Zero's bed once again. He always did that when they slept in the same room, even if they had different beds. Perhaps that was the reason their parents resorted to giving them different rooms, hoping it would change something. It didn't work, obviously. The separation and wait had been horrid, however.

Zero had been lying awake in wait. He hadn't been able to sleep at all, his body missing his Other's presence and his mind worrying over what was going on with him. If he was feeling well or had fallen sick or felt cold or lonely without anybody to curl up against like he always did. He certainly knew Zero did.

Thus, when he heard the soft footsteps outside his room and the slight creaking as the door opened, he simply looked at those mirrored lavender orbs, filled with apprehension and hesitation, before lifting the covers of his bed and inviting his Other in.

"Ichiru" he called out softly.

His Other didn't make him say anything more and immediately went up to his bed, getting in the space always left appositely for him and curling up into his side, a slight shiver passing along his frame.

Zero automatically tucked his Other in before curling his arms around his small form, pulling him closer. He felt them both relax almost instantly. He certainly felt better now he had his Other back in his arms, where he could make sure he was well, comfortable and happy.

"Nii-chan..." Ichiru breathed softly as he felt his Other's arms wrap around him, head laying on his chest.

"Sleep, I'm here now" Zero whispered back. He passed a hand through the soft tresses of his Other' silver hair, softly humming a melody at the beat of their Heart while Ichiru listened to it from his chest – he always did the same thing when his Other was sick or had trouble sleeping. It always calmed him.

(Can you hear it, Ichiru? Our Heart, beating exactly in sync. It's the proof we are One after all)

Ichiru let out a soft sigh of contentment, letting his Other's familiar voice and their heartbeat lull him to sleep in seconds.

Zero tightened his hold on his twin, looking him over once more to assure himself he was fine, before following him into sleep. A soft sigh echoing his Other's even as the melody slowly died on his lips.

Something good did come out of their birthday, however: Zero got a camera all of his own. It was the best gift ever, and he would have been eternally grateful to their parents if not for their enforced separation, but he put it to good use the next day anyway: a teary Ichiru was still a breath-taking Ichiru after all, and he needed the moral lift up.

He always brought it with him now, no matter where they went or the time of day. He even slept with it. One never knew when he would need it – his Other was always adorable after all, and the occasion to capture him could pop up at any time. Ichiru appeared a little disgruntled by their parent's encouragement of his twin's little obsession but was mostly resigned and exasperated.

"Nii-chan do you really have to do that now?!" an exasperated Ichiru exclaimed from where he lay on the ground, mud and leaves falling from his hair. They had been running around their grounds when he'd lost his footing on the slippery ground and fell down the wet slope. Autumn was just ending after all, and rainy days always made the ground muddy and difficult to trade.

Zero, of course, had immediately flung himself after his Other. However, after checking he hadn't hurt himself in any way, he'd not resisted taking a picture to immortalize his twin's adorable, flustered and pouting face, mud drippings and all. He cooed internally – his Otouto was so cute!

He briefly wondered if this made him slightly narcissistic but shock the thought away soon after. No matter how alike they were he could never compare to his Other's light.

"Of course," he replied calmly "I have to immortalize every moment of adorableness and Otouto is always adorable"

Ichiru flushed even more at his declaration, groaning embarrassedly as they heard their Master's chuckles from where he had come up behind them, checking to make sure nothing had happened.

"Nii-chan!"

Zero just took another picture.

A flustered, scowling and wet Ichiru was still an adorable Ichiru after all.

The internal memory was already more than half-full but he'll make sure to print all the pictures later on to free up space. He had many more pictures to take.

l

l

Not much else of note happened that year, but at least his question of whether Yuuki had already been changed or not was finally answered that winter.

They had been playing in the snow under their Master' supervision, having a good week-long vacation from their training, for once, when someone unexpected had shown up.

It had taken Zero a while to jolt his memories, especially as he did not remember the man visiting them like that in canon, but once he opened his mouth every doubt disappeared: it was the Chairman, Kaien Cross, in person. The one who'll become his guardian in the not so distant future, should he not manage to change canon, somehow.

It took him barely five minutes in his presence to really understand why canon Zero found him so irritating in the manga. The man was just so…strange and obnoxious, he could not imagine spending a prolonged amount of time in his company. At the same time, however, he could not help but respect the man and think about how his fate would have differed had he devoured his Other in the womb like Cross had.

Listening to him ramble on about his life – In such a fragmented way Zero wouldn't have made head nor tail of it, had he not known beforehand – was a peculiar experience. So different from hearing or reading about it on paper. It hit something deep in him, perhaps especially so as he could feel his Other's presence beside him while listening to it. The man was still strange though, even if he did approve of his passion for taking pictures of his twin. Why he insisted for Zero to be in them as well, however, was a mystery to him.

As for Ichiru, he was simply exasperated another photo maniac had shown up.

The visit was brief in the grand scheme of things, Cross staying only a few hours before going back, but it gave him the information he needed – Yuuki was already living with him, thus her change and the Kuran's death had already happened. For a brief moment, Zero could not help but feel it was karma that Kuran's family was met with the same fate he'll reserve the Kiryuu, but he soon shock the thought away and returned to concentrating on his adorable twin. Those red, puffy cheeks and cute, fluffy clothes were just too much to ignore.

Time went on.

Aside from their hunter training, Zero had started (re)learning about music. He remembered playing a few instruments Before and recently he'd found some old instruments hidden away, probably some leftover of an old music room/family propriety since neither of his parents played.

He'd immediately started tending to them, making sure they were in good condition and tuned perfectly. With a bit of practice and concentration, he was sure he'll be able to replicate what he'd been able to do Before and then do it better. It seemed everything he did in this body came out better than it did Before after all.

Since they were little, and he'd regained enough control of his throat to at least hum, he'd always chanted Ichiru to sleep whenever he was troubled or scared or frustrated about something and he had come to love it. It was something he remembered his first mother doing when he was little and something that had remained with him even in this other life of his. He had wanted to offer the same comfort to his Other and something to remember him by once he almost inevitably left to live his life.

Now though he was thinking of teaching his Other to play as well. He was already frustrated enough with himself and his body. He knew that as the years went on and their parents became more and more discouraged and disappointed with his lacking progress and lack of bettering health, it would only become worse for him.

Zero knew that becoming a Hunter to make their parents and Master proud of him, making them recognize him, was his Other's most important objective right now. He wanted to prove to them he could do it, that he was good enough and that he wasn't a disappointment, they could love him as well.

He knew it was mostly all in Ichiru's head and that their parents and Master loved them both (his Master had a particularly soft spot for his Other, he knew – he fully approved) but it was also true that all of the Hunter society's expectations were pressing down on their parents, and theirs on him, making all three of them feel like Ichiru should do more, be more, was not good enough.

Zero hated it. There were so many other options for his Other: he was so smart and strong, no matter his health, he could be whatever he wanted. He hoped that maybe if he could teach his Other to play, for a start, he could make him see there were so many more things he could be good – perfect – at, he did not need to be the best Hunter, the world was so much bigger than that.

Zero knew he himself would be expected to take on the mantle when the time came, knew he could never get out of it even if he wanted to, but his Other had so many more options open for him. He could be anything. He was perfect after all. Maybe, if he could introduce him to other things he could – would – excel at, he'd not be as frustrated, as disappointed in himself.

Not that Zero wasn't certain he could become a perfect Hunter as well in time, and once his body got even a little better, but maybe he'd come to hate himself less (how can he hate himself he is so beautiful, so perfect, the better part, His Other). Would not be brought to such lows as to feel he had to lean on a murdering pureblood's help to feel better (so much pain, how could he let him suffer so much, too much, his fault, all his fault, always, unforgivable). He could only hope.

First, however, he had to familiarize himself with the instruments once more. He winced at the thought of getting back all the needed calluses, but he'd do it. He'll take care not to get too far ahead however. He wanted to learn alongside his brother after all, showing him there were other things they could excel together at, where he'll not be left behind. He'll always be better than him.

Settling with a concentrated frown, he got back to work.

l

l

Zero looked despondently down at his Other half.

He hated to see him hurting like this, hating himself always a little more.

A month ago their Master, true to his memories, had finally presented them to another boy, his other student. He was a few years older than them, but Master said they were ahead enough in their training they were could train together. It only made sense to add him, giving all three of them more variety of opponents.

While Zero would never insult his twin enough to hold back against him in training (Never, why would he need to? He was so good when he could fight, after all, no matter his lower strenght or stamina) they were really One Whole and thus could mostly predict each other's movements. Not the best for training but it made them one hell of a team at least.

The new boy, Kaito (That's right, he remembered now), was cool enough on his own but terribly arrogant (He tried to hide it but Zero could see the hurt in his eyes. He wondered what caused it? That pain...He did not remember). It seems like he held a grudge of some kind against Ichiru, or perhaps Zero, as he never lost an opportunity to point how his Other supposedly dragged him down and how Zero was just too soft.

Sometimes his Other ignored him or retaliated (or Zero did it for him instead) but others the words got to him and he either feigned feeling sick or really got sick from the added stress.

Today was one of the latter cases.

Sighing inwardly, Zero made his way in, careful not to spill the plate in his hands. Before getting in though, he made sure to cancel all negative thoughts and worries from his face and Soul, knowing his twin hated it when he worried and angsted because of him. He'd hate himself even more for being the cause of it, exactly the same way Zero did, no matter if he had real fault for it or not.

Watching his Other turn around at his presence, as if sensing it (Of course, One, One Soul), he gave him a small smile and loving look.

"Ichiru" he called, radiating all the warmth he could to eclipse the worry at seeing his weakened form.

"Nii-san" was the raspy reply as Ichiru made to sit up.

"How is your fever?" he asked, lowering his tray on the bedside table and feeling his Other's temperature with his hand.

Ichiru smiled up at him, cradling Zero's hand within his.

"I'm fine onii-chan"

Zero frowned slightly, worry not appeased at all,

"Have you taken your medicine?"

"I'm better now that Zero is here"

Zero threw him a look. "Ichiru…"

His Other threw him a disgruntled look in reply but it soon changed into a resigned sigh after looking into his worried eyes.

"I'll take it before sleeping, promise"

Zero sighed as well.

"Ok" was all he said before turning to take back up the food tray.

"Here, for you. You haven't eaten anything all day" he scolded gently. Ichiru however barely heard him, eyes locked on the plate before them.

"Is that onii-chan's vegetable soup?"

"Of course, it is Ichiru's favourite"

His Other's genuine smile almost melted him then.

"Well, onii-chan's even better than mother's after all"

"Never as good as Ichiru's though"

His protest won him another brilliant smile from his Other before Zero began helping him settle.

They lapse in companionable silence for a while at that, each absorbed in their own thoughts as Ichiru kept eating. He was almost done when Zero noted his Other's mood worsening.

"Is the soup not good?", he asked, knowing it was not the case but still hoping nonetheless.

Ichiru did not reply immediately, not saying anything till he finished his soup. Then, lowering the plate, he finally spoke up.

"Nii-chan really is good at everything, ne? Even cooking. I wonder what I'm needed for, really. Wouldn't it have been better had Zero-nii been born alone?"

The words hit like lead in his stomach. It was not really the first time Ichiru had shown signs of frustration but never had he said such things before. Zero felt his cheerful and calm air fall as guilt and self-hate coursed through him. Without thinking of anything else, Zero threw himself at his Other half, engulfing him in a hug.

Ichiru let out a startled squeak as the two of them fell on the bed, empty soup plate falling forgotten to the floor in pieces.

"Don't ever say such things. Don't listen to Kaito, Ichiru is not useless. He just doesn't understand it, that Ichiru is the better one. Without Ichiru here, I would be nothing"

Zero felt Ichiru still for a moment, taken aback, before his small fingers curled into his shirt as he relaxed into him.

"Heh, Zero really is stupid. You are too kind nii-san, perhaps Kaito is right about you"

Tightening his arms around his Other, Zero's eyes filled with determination. He clenched the small form in his arms closer for a moment before loosening his hold enough to look into Ichiru's eyes. Staring deep into those beautiful lavender pools, he felt himself brim with determination.

"Otouto is not useless. You have so many things you can be the best at. I'll show you, come"

Not giving a surprised and curious Ichiru time to reply, Zero jumped down the bed before carefully picking up his Other in his arms, making sure no part of him touched the ground full of cutting ceramic pieces.

Perhaps it was time he showed Ichiru what he'd been doing in secret those past few weeks.

(Ichiru's indignant squeaks of protest, of course, went ignored all the way)

Notes:

The end for now!

How was it? Too boring? Should I have gone into more details about their training? And does anyone know any useful information about spells/charms in Vampire knight? I searched around but didn't really find much.

Now, for those replies! (:

SakuraVixx: Don't worry it won't be that kind of story. The only feelings Zero will have for Yuuki will be those for a little sister. He /will/ care for her, but only as a brother. As for Kaname...well, he already /has/ romantic feelings for her (supposedly) but we'll work on it hehe.

Jazlyn191: Thank you for your compliments, I'm glad you're liking how I'm developing my Zero and my story. I hope you liked this chapter as well!

Absolute Zero: You always touch intresting points. I'm happy you like my Zero as of now and about their bond...I won't spoiler too much but I hope you liked the (pretty big) hint I left in this chapter and don't worry, it won't be broken so easily. They /are/ One after all (;

Oh, ANOTHER THING: I realized the link on chapter 2 didn't work. I fixed it now, but I thought to put it bere as well just in case hehe...here it is, let me know what you think!

Chapter 4: What Creates My Own Maddness

Notes:

OK, I finally managed to finish the 4th chapter. Sorry for the wait but I just could not seem to be satisfied with this chapter. Still aren't to be truthful but I think it's as good as it's going to get. Let me know what you think and if you find something I should improve upon!

Aside from that, thank you as usual to all new and old readers and to those of you who commented:

Porquesi ; Absolute Zero ; Jazlyn191 and LuanRina.

Thank you very much, I'm always happy to read all you have to say. Like for the previous chapter, I'll leave the replies to your comments at the end!

A/N: The titles comes from the song 'Getting Away With Murder' by Papa Roach. I don't really give theme songs usually, but I feel like this one really fits the theme for this chapter and for my take on Zero&Ichiru's relationship in general right now. It's also a great song on its own.

You should go listen to it if you're curious, I'll put the link in the end notes, let me know what you think.

Now then, I'll leave you to it!

Things went on mostly the same for the next few years but something fundamental had changed on that night. Something had broken back then, Zero could feel it, but something had also gone well. Such a dichotomy of feelings, it suited them well after all, didn't it?

Since that first time, Ichiru had taken to voice those things more and more. It hurt.

Zero knew why he did it (how could he not?) but it hurt still, perhaps especially because he understood it. The reason was as convoluted and complex as anything else Ichiru, of course. He knew his Other was trying to make him hurt just as much as he did, lashing out when his frustration, hurt and disappointment got too much for him to bear alone. Hating him for having what he could not and lashing out because he could not bear for his existence to be the cause behind Zero's pain and self-hatred (Not at fault, never, only his, always his, useless thing…).

At the same time though, he did it when he needed to see Zero's reaction. To feel just how vehemently his twin rejected his self-deprecating words and validated his existence. Zero just hated that his Other felt the need to ask for it. He'd thought he'd already shown how much he loved his Other Half, and knew his twin could feel it through their bond, but it seemed he was in too much pain for it to truly reach him. For it to be ever enough. Still, since then he redoubled his efforts to shower his brother in affection and love as well as showing him other things he could excel at.

The music had been a good start, he felt.

Ichiru had been a bit hesitant on learning at the beginning but after hearing Zero play the first time he'd immediately changed idea and started looking at the instruments with awe. He'd immediately started Ichiru with the piano. He'd seen his twin's face when seeing the huge, white instrument for the first time and had not resisted. It was probably the best instrument to start him with, in truth.

To be honest, it had been a bit strange how many instruments they had hidden away, and all of the highest quality. Zero was secretly convinced they'd once had a music room. It was the only sensible option, really. Some of their ancestors must really have had a passion for music. That or different people had added different instruments and the collection grew. Either way, it looked like music had been an important part of their family a while ago.

Ichiru had been ecstatic at the thought and had immediately latched onto the possibility of finally excelling at something important for their family. Not that he felt their parents would ever consider it even remotely on par with their hunting business, but it was a nice thought.

Over the years they had both gotten a lot better a lot faster than normal, just as Zero had predicted. They both had a favourite instrument but like for their weapon training, they'd endeavoured to get at least moderately proficient at any they could find. As it was, Ichiru was better at playing the violin while Zero preferred the guitar (although neither was too far behind the other). They were both good at playing the piano as well.

It was a bit difficult to know how to proceed. Especially since Zero didn't remember learning anything but the basics and certainly not for every instrument they could play now. Not to talk about finding instructions or videos on the internet. No, they mostly made do with his basic knowledge as a stepping point – Zero patiently coaching Ichiru on it till they were at the same level – before refining it by using the various music books that were locked away alongside the instruments themselves. It was a long and slow progress but still incredibly faster than it would have been possible for him Before.

As expected, his Other really was excellent after all, learning all of that from scratch. Also as expected, their parents did not give their musical successes much importance. They were happy they liked it and proud they were so good at everything they put their minds to, of course, but they did not discern any further purpose behind it and did not fail to push them towards their training more, worried they'll let it fall behind. After all, a hunter had no need to know how to play, however interesting it may be.

Their Master, however, encouraged them and praised them just the same as with their hunter training, making sure to put the two on the same level (although he made sure they absolutely did not slack off). Zero felt their Sensei understood what he was trying to do and supported his intentions wholeheartedly. He understood it was just as important for his Other, if not more. He even gladly listened to their improvised concerts and practices. Zero will never forget Ichiru's face the moment the man said he was better than him at something. He'd made sure to cook the man all his favourite dishes for dinner on that night.

That was another thing. The next subject Zero had convinced his Other to practise on, was cooking. They'd already been able to cook some food, of course, Zero being the first to learn due to taking care of Ichiru when sick and then his Other following right behind him. It was necessary to learn that much, really – what with their parents often away on missions and Yagari-Shishou only knowing how to cook the bare minimum to survive – but he'd convinced him to expand on their skill.

In the end, like for the playing, Ichiru came to love it. Loved that there was something else he could excel at alongside his twin, not falling behind for once. In fact, Zero was pretty sure Ichiru had started to search for other things to excel at on his own as well, outside of those they did together (He was so proud. His cute, little Otouto was so adorable, all smug and satisfied for once).

Their Master was especially appreciative of those particular efforts and even learned how to cook a few more things alongside them. He took the opportunity to teach them the importance of balanced diets on their development, the best foods to eat before and during missions and even about what they should bring along on long term ones as well.

Their hunter training had progressed as well, of course, both he and Ichiru having gotten more and more skilled. They'd learned all the useful things they could in the time they had. Kaito had progressed as well and the three of them had learnt to appreciate each other for the most part - even though the older boy still could not help taunting the two of them for their respective 'weaknesses'.

Zero had a feeling that although Kaito found him too soft to be a hunter and really liked to tease him, the boy had more of something against Ichiru than him. He just didn't understand how someone could not like his twin. He was simply perfect and just so adorable, really. The boy must simply be blind.

(In truth, he felt the boy could sense something off in him, even if he didn't know exactly what. The darkness brewing in his Other's heart, brewing to escape and lash out any chance it got. Zero knew it quite well, of course, but he simply loved it like any other part of his Other. He never could hate any part of him after all, how could he? Especially not when it existed mostly because of him)

Weapon-wise, they'd finally progressed far enough to use their chosen ones in both hands mostly equally and their spars had become more intense. Their Master had even started letting them spar against him, both together and individually, and had progressively begun telling them more practical tips for how to behave on hunts, how to track the vampires and how to act in different situations. It was evident the man was building up to taking them along on a real hunt – as observers at least.

The most troubling thing, however, had been Ichiru's health. By now they had all reached the same conclusion Zero had always known – he was not improving. No matter how skilled he was, how precise and deadly his blade was, how dangerous his sharp mind could make him in any situation, his frail body would always hold him back. By now they could both see their parent's frustration give away to disappointment and resignation.

Zero knew where it would lead, he just hoped Ichiru would never hear them talk about it. A vain hope, he knew, especially as he was probably going to be their main topic of conversation at that point.

He just…hated it. So what if Ichiru's body was not as strong as his? If his stamina was lower than his? There were still many things he could do as a hunter and even in a fight, he was still just as deadly in his own right. He'll just have to make sure to end his battles quickly as to not let his fragile body hinder him. Of course, he was not at that point yet, but he could be.

Zero just knew that with enough time and training his Other could accomplish anything. And even if that hadn't been the case, then so what? What if Ichirou could not become a hunter like him? What did it matter? He was still his twin, his Other.

He just knew if they ever sent him away he'd follow without a doubt. Many times, already, he'd contemplated what would happen should he follow him to Shizuka. He did not want to separate after all (Never, they were One, always, not meant to be divided, how could it be?) and if his Other could not stay, then what else could he do? However, he did not know if he could bear following the one responsible for their parents' death as her loyal lapdog and...servant.

Even then, he might have done it for Ichiru but he knew his twin, contrary to him, probably needed some time on his own to figure out just who he was without Zero' shadow over him (why did he need to go away to figure it out? Why could he not be happy beside him? Was he not enough?).

In any case, the closing deadline made him spend even more time taking pictures. Of Ichiru, of their parents, of their Master, of Kaito and of all of them together, as a reminder of those happy times (Not happy, not for his Other, he'd not have left otherwise...pain, guilt, hate, despair, not happy, not enough). At the same time, he could not help but admit he'd started resenting their parents just a little bit as well.

How could he not? Even though they loved them both, why could they not accept Ichiru as he was? Why did they not see how it made Ichiru feel? Even with all the pressure they were under, they should concentrate more on him, give it their all, just like he tried to do, to make him happy. That was perhaps the only thing he'd never forgive them. That they made Ichiru feel like he was not loved, was not enough, just to decide to separate them, in the end.

(It was one of the same reasons he hated himself as well after all)

Zero could not help thinking of what would happen once Ichiru left him. He did not want to because it hurt, it hurt so much, but the thought simply always came back, no matter how many times he sent it away. The thought of what he'd do once Ichiru won't need him anymore (How could he exist without him? This life of his was Ichiru's after all. His body, his mind, his soul, everything he was, existed only for his Other's).

Yet, at other times, he could not help but look forward to that moment. The moment Ichiru'll free himself from his pain and will finally be happy, even if to do so Zero had to stay behind. Like he was doing right then.

Ichiru had gotten sick again after training, that day. As the years passed and his health didn't improve, he responded by pushing his body harder, only making it worse.

Zero hated it but even so, knew he could not tell him to stop. All he could do was tell him he was perfect already as he was and hope it reached him. Other than that, he had to keep his (usually mostly blanc) face happy for him, to not make his Other feel worse with misplaced guilt. Not that he would really be fooled – they were One after all – but that was all he could do. To be the one keeping their Soul and Heart happy while Ichiru could not, so that he could feel it as well.

As usual when his Other wasn't feeling well, Zero had prepared his meal and helped him eat, making sure he was comfortable and had everything he could need. He passed Ichiru his medicine, ruffling his hair, before turning around and making his way to the door. He'd already taken away their empty plates and now needed to go wash the dishes. This was a ritual they'd developed in time.

By then it was Zero who took care of Ichiru when sick, even if their parents were home. He knew he often made it worse with his presence at those times, but like when they were in the womb, Zero was the only thing that calmed him even when Zero was the reason he was upset in the first place. As for him, he still could do nothing but want to embrace his twin.

Just as he was about to exit, however, Ichiru's voice stopped him with his hand on the handle.

"Why were we born separately?"

His voice came out soft and haunted, but Zero could feel the darkness hiding underneath. It hit him like a shot to the chest. It always did.

He jerked around, staring at his twin with what he knew to be a pained face. Those feelings were not uncommon any more. Even if Ichiru didn't voice them all that often if he could restrain himself, they both still knew they were there.

"…to be born as part of Zero would be so much better than to be born like the trash I'm now", continued Ichiru, raising his medicine before his face with an inscrutable look.

"What…was I born for?"

That was as far as Zero could bear to hear that night as in the next moment he threw himself at his other half, in a mirror of what had come to pass that first time, years ago. This time, however, it would seem he'd failed to calculate the distances correctly in his rush, as he felt his Other's head hit against the bedpost before falling on his pillow.

"Ah! It hurts, my head got hit…"

He heard his twin's complaints at his uncommonly rough treatment, but he could not say anything at that moment, his throat feeling clogged.

"Zero…?"

"Sorry…Ichiru…" Was what he managed to force out at least, the words were barely audible as it was. Ichiru still heard them though and Zero felt him turn, head looking straight ahead, body going pliant in his embrace.

"It hurts just a little, you don't have to apologize so seriously"

Zero tightened his hold just a little at that before getting up, one arm at either side of his Other's head as he looked down at him. He could feel it, in the look of his eyes, the tone of his voice, in his very soul. He knew Ichiru did it on purpose, to hurt him. Because at that point only when seeing (feeling, feeling, it hurt, so much…) Zero hurt by what he said, could he sharply sense the feeling of being part of their Whole. He did not know whether knowing that he knew made it better or worse.

He felt Ichiru's hands move then. First one, softly cradling his head, then the other, encircling his neck and bringing him closer (closer, closer, always closer) till their foreheads touched, then closer still as Ichiru brought him down beside him. Zero could feel his Other's pain, how lost he felt, how the darkness ate at him, brewing right under his skin. He knew what his Other was asking him ('What should I do, nii-san?') but he had no reply to give him ('I don't know, Ichiru').

Even though he knew what his twin was thinking, what should he do? What could he do besides shower him with love and showing him how happy he was at being everything he needed him to be? What else could he do to show him he was good enough as he was? That he did not need to be better, do better, he was already loved. He did not know.

That Ichiru's body was born frail like that, was his fault. He took away the other half inside their mother's body. Took it away and made it his own. Just like vampires.

"Hey…Zero, what are you thinking?"

Ichiru's voice broke through his musings then as he focused back on him.

"Let me guess?"

"Eh?"

Zero flinched a little at that, knowing his twin knew exactly what was passing through his mind but not wanting him to.

His Other's eyes narrowed slightly before he sighed inaudibly. One of his hands rose to his head then, caressing his hair the same way Zero did with his so often. He brought them back closer, foreheads touching once again. They could feel their breath mingling together, becoming one outside their bodies.

(...Can't we be like this? Like the air we breathe? Joining together and separating as it pleases, almost playful, intimate. Do you feel it too, Ichiru? This need to be closer...)

"You are too hesitant. You will not become a powerful hunter if you stay like this" Ichiru said tightening his hold a little, his eyes closing.

Zero basked in his Other's embrace, letting his Other's love and darkness lavish him. He knew what his Other was talking about but at the same time, he knew he'll become whatever Ichiru wanted, without hesitation.

"And, the things you cannot tell to me, remember to tell it to mum and dad"

Almost like chilling waters hitting him, Zero's body froze at those words, rousing him from his contented state. He knew, of course he knew, but still...

"Zero, there are things you are hiding from me, right? It worries me"

His Other tightened his arms around him, bringing him closer still. Their noses were touching by then, but it was still not enough (Never enough). Zero held his body rigid a breath longer but then let himself go completely, relaxing into his Other's embrace once more.

"Yeah..."

He opened his mouth, wanting to spill everything to his twin, but then he stopped, hesitant. Could he really bring everything down on him? Could he really burden him with the truth? Perhaps he should. It would be the right thing to do, but...Zero wound his arms tight around the fragile body between them, mouth closing. In the end, it was he who wasn't strong enough, wasn't it?

(him, his fault, useless, weak)

They remained like that for a little while, basking into their closeness, each lost in their own thoughts. But then a thought came to Zero's mind. He rose up immediately, worried.

"Ichiru, you have not taken your medicine yet"

His arm was already reaching out as he spoke but Ichiru's hand stopped it, making him look down. His other wasn't looking back at him though.

"I don't need it, I won't heal because of the human's techniques"

His voice was far away as he turned towards him. Then, probably sensing his emotional state, his eyes softened, a warm, loving smile directed at him.

"I feel much better when Zero is here"

Zero felt their Heart shudder at that, both love and guilty anxiety eating at him. Yeah, he was right. No human medicine. Lowering himself back down, Zero gathered Ichiru back into his own arms, trying to infuse him of all his love.

"Ichiru, you are the better part of me"

He felt his Other still in his embrace at those words, shocked at the sentiment and sureness of them.

"You're not trash, you are everything I need to live. I love you. I'll become everything you need me to, so you should use my body as you wish because it is yours. We are one sole soul after all, Ichiru"

His Other remained still for a few more moments after that, before his arms sneaked back around him and held him tight, head hidden in the crook of his neck. Zero felt a small smile touch his skin. They fell asleep like that, lulled into darkness by Zero's voice and Heart humming in sync.

He did not know how much time had passed when their mother came to their room next. He came immediately aware though, even with the drowsiness weighting his eyes closed.

"Sleeping together again?" she asked half teasingly, half exasperatedly at the sight.

He felt her come closer then, reaching out to them and tucking them under the sheets.

"I'm back. Sorry it's so late. Goodnight Ichiru. Goodnight Zero"

Her hands caressed each of their heads lovingly as her soft voice spoke to them. She always did this when she was home. He wished she would stop. The warmth she equally gave, it belonged all to Ichiru, but he took it away from him. She should give it all to his Other. Ichiru was the one who needed it after all. That deserved it. He did not deserve to be loved instead. Those thoughts plagued him long after she left, his arms tight around his Other as he held him close in his embrace.

l

O

l

It was only a few weeks later when it happened. He'd been waiting for it by then.

Their parents were staying home for the next week and he knew they had something planned. Their Master had come to train them for the last time in the next while and by then it was time for greetings. Ichiru had gotten a peculiar expression at that and before long announced he was not feeling well.

That day, it was only him seeing Yagari-Shishou off.

Just as his figure left his sight, however, a blur slammed against him, hands around his neck.

"Zero!"

Zero looked at his cheeky brother in surprise before pulling back just a little, hands on his shoulders as he observed him worriedly.

"You have a fever, you should go back in and lie down, Ichiru…"

His Other' smile immediately left his face, a serious expression replacing it for a moment before he let out a little sigh, head lowering against Zero's as he closed his beautiful eyes.

"The fever was a lie. You should know that"

He knew. Of course he knew, and Ichiru knew he did, probably the reason behind his expression right then. He still could not help himself, however. Winter was always a delicate season for him after all.

"You didn't want to come to Master's send-off?"

"Because I am, at best, a bothersome student"

After saying those words, however, Ichiru must have sensed his unease at them because soon after he wound his arms back around his neck, hugging him closer.

"It's all right…I only need Zero to like me"

Zero tightened his hold, opening his mouth to protest. He knew by then Ichiru won't believe his words, but it was still important he heard them from someone. Just before he could speak, however, something happened. Something that froze his heart in one single instant. He felt Ichiru move, pulling away slightly from him, but he could not move at all, mind completely blown.

"Snow?"

It was the sweet voice of his twin that brought him back, giving him enough strength to steel his heart. For now.

"Wrong, Ichiru…" Zero said, finally turning around with one hand still on his brother' shoulder, "it's the warped blooming of cherry blossoms".

He saw her, then. The woman who'll kill their parents and take his Other away. The vampire who'll bring him happiness where he could not. Hio Shizuka. The mad blooming princess. A shudder passed through his heart at her sight, but he did not know how he felt. He was numb.

It was strange, to see her in person when he'd spent the past decade seeing her in his nightmares. He looked at her delicate figure, at her elegant posture, at her silver hair (so like his and Ichiru's) at the way that lone tear made her appear oh-so-fragile while only enhancing her beauty.

"What a beautiful person…"

The slight surprise in Other's voice brought Zero's attention back to him, watching his eyes fill with slight awe and something else as he stared at her. It was enough a foreshadowing of what would happen that Zero felt his heart break once again before managing to steady it back.

Still trying to avoid their inevitable destiny, he took his Other's hand, a desperate last attempt to not let them meet.

"Let's hurry back, Ichiru", he said while starting to drag him away, "I'm sure kaasan and tousan are looking for us"

Surprised, Ichiru felt himself being pulled along.

"What's wrong, Zero?"

Zero did not turn around as he replied, still trying to put as much distance between them as he could.

"That's a vampire"

"Oh…I could not tell"

It was the despondency in his twin's voice that made him stop finally, but before he could even turn around, he felt his Other's arms wound around his neck, holding on tight.

"…Ichiru?"

"Zero is really strong…whatever I lack in, Zero can always do"

"Ichiru…"

Not turning around, Zero brought up one hand to his Other's head, lovingly caressing his head as the other held him in his arms tight.

"Whatever you can't do right now, I'll do it for you. No matter what, till the day you won't need me anymore"

O

That night found them once again in bed together, Zero softly cradling his twin's reddened face as harsh breaths escaped him.

"Ichiru, you have a fever…it's because you were walking around in the cold today…"

Worried, Zero held him closer, sharing his body heat.

He felt their mum enter the room just then, hearing the door open as she came in.

"So, you are hiding in Zero's bed, after all. Are you ok, Ichiru?"

"Mum, he has a fever"

Before she could even finish speaking, Zero had already sat up on the bed and turned towards her, ready to go get the medicine himself. At that moment, however, he felt his twin's delicate hand weakly tug at his sleeve, trying to hold him down.

"Don't go, Zero"

Their mum chuckled at that.

"It's ok, Zero. I'll get it for him. Don't you think he really loves Zero's company?" she said, turning back and returning back downstairs.

There was a moment of silence as she left before Ichiru's voice broke through it.

"Maybe it's impossible for this kind of weak body to become a hunter…hey, Zero…that vampire we saw today, do you think mum or dad…or other hunters could have exterminated her?"

Zero hummed, not really wanting to think about it as he felt another knife stab right through his heart at hearing his Other mention that woman again.

"Who knows…she's a pureblood but I think if they've been placed on the list, you should be able to do it"

"Zero also has a future in exterminating vampires…but can it be done? They say if it is Zero, it'll be easy…"

"Ichiru…you don't need to worry. That's why Master is here to teach us"

"You talk as if it's an obligation…aren't you overloading yourself to cover up for me?"

Zero's eyes widened at that, before an arm rose to his other's head, holding him close as their forehead touched.

"That's not true Ichiru…I'm happy to be whatever you need of me. Don't you know? Making Ichiru happy makes me happy"

Ichiru's arms came around him as well, borrowing himself into his embrace.

"Besides, I know Ichiru can be whatever he wants to be. You are so perfect after all"

"That's not true onii-chan…" Ichiru's embarrassed voice came muffled into his shirt and Zero steeled himself for what he was going to say. What needed to be said, even if it broke his heart.

"Of course it is. Soon, it'll be better for you, you'll see, and then you'll be happy again. That's the most important thing after all"

Ichiru fell silent at that, a strange stillness in his body. Zero felt he was thinking about something and didn't press further, letting him gather his thoughts. Finally, he spoke.

"Is it really?"

"Huh?"

"Is it really the most important thing?"

Ichiru's voice was sombre and pondering as he spoke and Zero was left shocked at his words. What did he mean by that? Before he could open his mouth to ask or protest, however, his Other spoke on.

"At times, I think I can see it, you know? What you hide. There are things...sometimes I see things that scare me. In our minds. I can see myself do horrible things, and yet...am I a monster, Zero?"

Zero jerked, shocked. He'd suspected. Of course he'd suspected, how could he not? There had been too many signs but still, he'd hoped...hearing him say those things now, he felt their Heart bleed. Without hesitation, his arms rose to embrace his Other, holding that fragile body tight to his own as they looked at each other, foreheads still pressing close till the point it almost hurt.

"Never"

The pure conviction borne by that single word alone startled his Other. Big, lavender pools looked at him - searching for something, lost, hoping. Zero stared back with firm determination, trying to pass his love and certainty to him.

"No matter what may happen, you'll never be a monster. Ichiru's happiness is the most important thing and that's why…that's why no matter what you do, if you feel you need to do it to be happy…I'll always be on your side. You are my Soul after all…" his voice broke at that, his breath hitching slightly.

"Nii-chan?" Ichiru asked equally as brokenly, pulling back to look him in the eyes, "That woman, is she..."

"She is"

His voice was sombre but his eyes were filled with love, overflowing in their Soul.

"You'll remember, right? There is nothing you can do that would make me love you less"

"But…"

Zero did not let him finish though, looking straight into his eyes. Burning love and determination shone through his usually blanc face, trying to impress the importance of his words on him.

"Promise me you'll remember, Ichiru.

"…I will, onii-chan, I love you too…"

(It was necessary. After all, he had to make sure. Even if the events he'd seen Before were to repeat themselves, he had to make sure his Other will never forget for a moment. He could not stand the thought of him thinking Zero hated him, for he'll always stay on his Other's side, no matter what)

They embraced tightly after that, once again lulled to sleep in each other's arms. Zero' sleep was only disturbed when he felt his twin leave the bed a while later.

"Ichiru…?" he called out sleepily.

"You can go back to sleep, I just want a glass of water"

"Ok…"

Zero's eyes followed his Other's figure till he left the room, face blanc. Then, he rose as well, silently going after him.

His presence was but a shadow by the wall, eyes unreadable as he listened to what went down. He was already in bed by the time Ichiru came back. Nobody knew.

l

O

l

A few days later found their parents packing.

Zero and Ichiru stood side by side at the door, observing them.

"You're moving out again?"

Their mother hummed.

"Yes, of course. It would be better for this house if we didn't know…about vampires"

He felt Ichiru stiffen beside him at that, his hands fisting loosely at his sides.

"Ichiru?"

His Other just turned away.

"It's nothing…there aren't only bad vampires you know? You are overly suspicious!"

"Right…"

Ichiru didn't say anything further as he marched away, putting on his coat.

"Ichiru, wait! Where are you going…?"

He called out at his Other, running after him.

"I'm fine! I'm going out to get some fresh air"

"Ichiru!"

Finally managing to grab his Other's hand he stopped in his track, holding him back. He felt almost desperate at that point. He knew then. It was the moment. It had come in the end.

Ichiru turned around then, an inscrutable expression on his face. After looking at his twin, however, it softened, losing some of its hard determination.

"Zero…I…"

Zero did not let him speak further before cutting in, clutching his hand harder as to not let him take it away. He felt like it was one of the most important moments of his life. The moment of truth.

"You'll remember, right?"

Ichiru looked at him in surprise, not understanding what he meant.

"What…?"

"You'll remember, right?" he repeated, staring straight at his Other. "The promise?"

It took a few moments but soon he saw comprehension draw into Ichiru's eyes. His expression became strangely vulnerable as he looked at him then, almost broken.

"Nii-chan…"

Zero interrupted him again however, just hugging him tightly once more before quickly stepping back, afraid he'll never let go if he held on even a moment longer.

"I just felt the need to say it again, right now."

Ichiru averted his eyes at that.

"Nii-san is so strange. Don't worry, I'll be back soon. I just want to take a breath of fresh air"

With that said he turned back around, running out of the house. Zero could do nothing but stand there and watch his back through the door. That, he knew, would be the last time they'll be together in a long time.

After staring for who knew how long, he finally drew himself from his thoughts. Zero took a deep breath, trying to somehow prepare himself for what was going to come. The wheels in his head were going like crazy, trying to find a solution, a way out. There must be something he could do, right?

Even though he'd never hate Ichiru and would forgive him anything, he didn't want their parents dead either. But what could he do against a pureblood? Could even their parents do something? Steeling himself as much as possible, Zero took another steadying breath before turning around and running back to their parents. He had no idea what he could do, but he'll try his damnest for sure anyway.

The next few hours were a blur of anxiety and pain to him and yet were inexorably burned into his mind. He remembered the feel of that woman's presence drawing closer as he tried to warn his parents of the danger. He remembered their screams, as they were cut down right before him, their blood spraying everywhere and their faces filled with pain and worry for him.

He remembered feeling those filthy fangs entering his neck. It hurt. It hurt so much… he barely paid attention to that woman's words as she did it and yet he knew, he'll remember them for the rest of his life.

("I'll give you…an even more damned destiny")

Then, he remembered his Other's face.

"Ichiru…"

He did not say much, only looking at his twin's face. Trying to ignore the pain, he watched Ichiru take the scene in. He saw the surprise settle in first, the shock at witnessing such a gruesome sight for the first time. Then, he smiled. Zero felt his heart warm again then, the reaction almost overshadowing the incredible pain he was in, feeling his body change from the inside out.

No matter that he knew what that smile meant and what other emotions hid behind it, he still felt their Heart skip a beat. It was one of the most genuine ones his Other had given in the last years to anyone but him.

"Ichiru…"

He made himself call out again, his voice scratchy over his burning throat.

"You'll remember, right?"

His Other' smile faltered at that, uncertainty and guilt settling in for the first time as he finally focused upon his form. Then, his eyes landed onto his neck, and Zero watched as first shock, then pained understanding flashed through them, the smile wiped completely from his face. So Zero offered him one of his own. It was a feeble, pitiful, little thing he felt, but hoped it still showed his emotions all the same. "Always"

The shock came back then and Zero could almost swear he saw his Other's eyes become lucid with tears. He could not really tell whether it was the truth or simply a trick of his mind, though.

"What a strange little boy"

That Woman's voice broke through their connection at that point and Zero felt himself being lowered to the ground. She laid him there with mocking gentleness before getting up and delicately cleaning her mouth with a handkerchief. It was such a strangely dichotomous sight to see, something so normal and polite done in such a beautiful and graceful way, after such a barbaric act. The blood certainly didn't help either, noted Zero absently.

"It's painful, isn't it? Are you scared?" she asked, looking at him. Her voice a mimicry of care.

Zero stared straight at her, saying nothing.

"You parents hunted down every one of my beloved brethren…this is my revenge", she continued, coming closer, but Zero could barely concentrate on her words by that point. Besides, he knew why things came to that point. He'd heard his parents, weeks ago, as they talked about it – the thing he'd waited and listened for since he became aware of the world he was in.

"Since members of the Kiryuu family are infamous vampire hunters…this is my privilege as a pureblood…"

They had discussed it when they'd thought themselves alone. They'd received the order from the Association and had long discussed the risks. They had known the target was particularly close with its Master but in the end, they'd decided they couldn't turn their back on the mission. Especially so if there was a risk of fighting against that woman.

They were few of the hunters who'd stand any chance of surviving the encounter, so they could not, in good conscience, pass it off onto someone else. Moreover, it was their duty to eliminate vampires once they'd fallen.

They did not know the target was Shizuka's beloved lover and had no reason to doubt the mission's veracity. Had no reason to think they were being set up. He'd tried persuading them against taking the mission up, but there had been no way of convincing them.

Zero was shocked from his confused contemplations as That Woman's form suddenly disappeared from before his eyes – only to reappear immediately after, crouched down behind him. He could not help startling even as he reflexively aimed his fiercest glare towards her.

It did not matter that he knew who really was behind her actions, it did not matter that she was the one who'll make his Other happy. At that moment, he knew with all of himself he could never forgive what she did to him, nor for being the one who could make Ichiru happy in his place, the one who was going to take him away.

"You look like a child, yet you make such an expression…you are the second person who has faced me with such a strong emotion"

Her words made him sick.

"Shizuka-san"

His Other's words broke through their little stare down then, calling back both of their attention. Ichiru did not look at him anymore, eyes fixed on that woman's figure, and Zero tried not to let that bother him. He knew the reason after all.

"If we don't go soon, we might get caught by the council" he urged. Then, seeing the vampire still lingering behind, he pressed on, voice unreadable, "Are you regretting it, after finally carrying out your revenge?"

"I'm fulfilled now, Ichiru…because I got my revenge on the Kiryuus…and also because I gained such an interesting thing…"

Then, after a final oh-so-loving, mocking caress to Zero's hair, she finally got up and made her way outside.

His Other did not turn back once as he went after her, but Zero did not take his eyes away for even a second, not even to blink. He looked at his retreating back, watching it disappear together with that vampire's as the snow fell around them. That, he knew, would be the last he'll see of him for the next how many years.

He struggled till he could no longer feel his Other's presence before finally letting go and giving into the darkness' waiting embrace. Only another thought passed through his mind before his consciousness faded completely: that day was the last one he'll live as a human, ever again.

(It's snowing again. Isn't it fitting? Just like that time, now, it came for his second death as well – the death of his humanity)

 

Notes:

Well, how did it go? Is it really worse than the other chapters or is it only my impression?

In any case, what did you think of my take on those happenings? Did you like it or hoped for something better?

And about the theme song, here is the link as I said. What do you think? Do you think it fits as well or not? Do you know any other which you feel would fit better?

Let me know your opinions and thank you for reading!

Now, about those replies:

Porquesi: Thank you, I'm very glad to hear that. I hope you won't be disappointed with how I'll develop their relationship in the future and don't worry, it won't end like in canon, even if it may take a while to get there.

Absolute Zero: Your comments and idea are always interesting. As you've read, the idea of Zero and Ichiru as a hunter duo must be momentarily postponed but don't worry, it isn't a definitive thing! I'm glad you liked their relationship so far though and that it made you smile. that game sounds interesting as well, I think I'll go look it up sooner or later!

Jazlyn191: Thank you for your comments, I'm always rather worried about my take on Zero and whether he may get too unbelievable or Mary-Sueish, thus I hope you'll point it out to me if that happens!

LuanRina: Thank you it makes me happy to know you enjoy my story and the way I write Zero and Ichiru's relationship. I hope you won't be too disappointed with the outcome of this chapter but as I already said, it won't be the end of their bonds, no way. Also, I'm glad to know you liked my cover as well!

A/N: A question, would you prefer it if I left replies via comments or is this way ok? I ask because I'm not quite used to it and it feels rather strange to me...but if you'd like it better then let me know!

Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Face Everything and Rise

Notes:

There, it’s finally done.
Here it’s the sixth chapter guys. A bit late in coming but long to make up for it (I hope). Just in time to celebrate (cough*mourn*cough) the end of summer and the start of normal life once again.

About the story: till now things have gone mostly according to canon, aside from some differences within my Zero. However, after this chapter we will start seeing some divergencies.

Ps: The title comes from yet another song by Papa Roach. I felt the name fit, is all.

Thanks as always to all of you who read, left kudos, subscribed and bookmarked my story, old and new. Also special thanks to all who left comments as well: Jazlyn191; Absolute Zero and Livelovelaughapps. Thank you guys, for your continued support.

A question: would you prefer it if I answered you in the comments? Or is it allright if I leave your replies at the end of the chapter? Let me know!

In some of his darkest moments, he’d wondered what being turned would feel like.

Would he feel his genetic make-up change? Would his mind be changed as well, somehow? Would he feel it as it did? Would he feel his bones and muscles change? Becoming something else, something stronger, faster, more resistant. Never could he have imagined the real pain, however. It was like his very blood was burning inside him, starting from his throbbing throat – rending everything to ashes before building it anew, just different.

Now that his Other was no longer there (Never again, left, alone, separated, why?) he’d nothing left anchoring him to reality and his muddled consciousness finally gave in to the pain at least. It overtook all his senses in a breath. For a while, it was all he could feel and he lost himself into it.

When he finally focused again, he could hear people talking and feel their (No, his now, he should start talking for himself from then on, shouldn’t he?) Master was beside him, holding up his limp body. Numb and still not fully coherent, he somehow managed to recount what went down as asked, in stilted words. Well, only three, really: ‘Mad-blooming princess’, and ‘gone’. His voice an emotionless drone.

He did not react when they realized what the blood on his neck meant, nor when they started arguing about what would happen to him now. What did he care about it anyway? Without his Other, he had no future to bother about. He lost most of that conversation, his attention only briefly caught when his Master told him they were going. He did not say anything as the man enveloped him in something warm before escorting him outside. He could only feel the cold.

Some distant part of Zero’s brains realized he must have gone into shock or something at that point, recalling that keeping warm was an important step to ward it off. It was no more than a passing thought, however, immediately forgotten.

He barely even understood his Master’s words, only vaguely hearing something about calling a friend and staying with him for now. He though Master said something about running the case and trying to find Ichiru. He did not bother to tell him there was no need, although perhaps he should have. He did not say anything at all. He only registered his Master exchanging place with someone else by the way he ruffled his hair before leaving. He did not bother with greetings.

Cross-san was especially grave that night. It was strange to see him like this, he mused absently. The last time he’d been such a weirdo and even in the anime, this side of him was only shown a few times, really. That distant part of him, which could still vaguely feel something, felt glad the man did not go about with his usual antics. Zero did not think he could have borne it right then.

He was sure the man said something during their travels, but Zero did not pay much attention, losing himself with looking out of the car window (When did they get inside a car anyway? Well, who cared, it was not important. Nothing was anymore). The man had probably just been telling him where they were going in any case, something he did not need to pay attention to – he already knew after all.

Oh. That’s right. He’d be meeting Yuuki now. He wondered what he will feel seeing her. Nothing probably. He only really felt nothing right then. He’d wondered about how their first meeting would go a few times over the years, but now it was the moment he could not even bother to think about it.

He must have lapsed again then because when he came to, they were standing in front of a door, Cross’ hand on his shoulder. Then it opened, and a little girl came out excitedly yelling Cross’ name. She immediately quieted at seeing them though, likely startled at his presence and sensing the sombre atmosphere. That same distant part of Zero’s brain noted that she really looked like any other little girl for an ex-pureblooded vampire.

“Yuuki…this boy’s parents were killed by a vampire. it’s a miracle he managed to survive. Please look after him while he’s staying with us, okay?”

He vaguely heard the chairman’s voice over his ringing ears, explaining his situation to Yuuki. He distantly felt the need to scoff. A miracle. Right. It was all due to his Other…to Ichiru that he was even alive. His heart broke thinking why.

“He’s still covered in blood, so give him a bath first” continued the man, “I have to go talk to the police”, and then he was gone, leaving the two of them alone.

Yuuki fidgeted for a moment, unsure.

“Umm…let’s go run you a bath”

He felt her stare on him, heard her trying to talk to him, but did not bother reacting. What was the point anyway?

“It’s okay if I touch you…?”

She approached slowly, hesitatingly raising a hand towards him. When she saw he did not react, she finally made contact, leading him along with care.

Zero did not register her leaving him but she must have, as when he heard her next the bath was ready. She brought him inside the room.

“The bathtub is already filled with hot water, so take as much time as you want”

“…”

“…”

She fidgeted again.

“…umm…so…shall I help you take this off…? Your clothes…”

Still with slow, careful, movements, she reached towards him again, taking off the warm thing surrounding him. It was only then he realized it must have been their…his Master’s jacket. It’s familiar scent only really registering now. It was comforting. He distantly noted his chest was bare underneath and still covered in blood. His, and his parent’s.

Yuuki stared at all the blood for a moment, startled, then worry settled in her eyes as she took a clean cloth and drew it into the bathwater, wetting it.

“Do you mind if I wipe that? On your neck…”

Like it would ever get off. No, by then it was inside him, there was no way to wipe it out. That Woman’s filth…

Seeing his continued apathy, Yuuki hesitated a bit again before apparently steeling herself. Her touch was soft and gentle while cleaning him, and for the first time that night it almost made him feel something. It was…warm. It was brief though, and soon it passed as well, swept under the numbness.

He could almost taste her relief at seeing his clean neck, but he felt none of his own. He could imagine what she’d found: nothing. His would was…healed.

The rest of that night was all another giant blur (He seemed to have many of those, didn’t he?). Yuuki helped him bathe and dress again, the chairman having returned with some clean clothes by that point. The two exchanged some words and tried talking to him again, but Zero simply stared on, dead-eyed. he felt dead inside. Hollow. Like a part of him had been torn out, leaving behind only a gory, gaping hole.

Somehow, he found himself in a foreign bed, thick blankets tucked in, alone. He stared at the ceiling, trying not to think.

He hoped Ichiru was doing well…they were too far apart to feel anything from each other at that point. It was…a strange sensation. He hoped he didn’t feel lonely, wherever he was. It was only after a few good hours of staring that he fell asleep, alone for one of the only few times in his life.

(He wondered if he’ll still fell sick as often as when not around him? Probably not, right? Pure blood was supposed to be miraculous, after all, and that woman had promised to take care of him. Zero ignored the pang of jealousy at that, reminding himself he should just be happy for him)

l

O

l

The next few days progressed in mostly the same way. Zero didn’t come out much, useless to go to the bathroom. He slept or ate what they left for him and he did not talk useless absolutely necessary.

The chairman had come to him a few times to talk, to explain a few things and try to cheer him up. He also inquired a bit more on the happenings of that night, but Zero did not have much to add (He’ll never tell them what he knew, what his Other did. Their Master probably knew anyway or will suspect soon. He was the one who knew them the best after all, even more than their parents).

Cross had converted back into his cheery persona and that small part of Zero distantly thought he would’ve found it annoying, were he still feeling anything at all. He told Zero he would be staying with them from then on, but it was hardly a surprise to him. He’d known the day had been coming for years. Then he let him alone saying he was always welcome to come out of his room and get to know him and his adorable little daughter. Zero felt a pang go through his heart at that, thinking about his own adorable little otouto.

Yuuki did not show herself much, mostly when she brought him his food trays. She probably felt timid with him around, he reasoned. She did lead quite an isolated life after all. He could see her spying on him every now and again though, so still curious. Zero u usually just ignored them both, going on as he was. Staring blankly at the ceiling.

He did not do much thinking or feeling at all in those days. He’d often wondered how he would have felt when the separation came. He’d always thought he would feel sad and angry at least, but now he just felt hollow. And numb. Hollow and numb. He had no times to think or feel most times, his mind hovering in a clouded haze of nothingness. Really, he's not even had the energy to think about his parents’ deaths and his Other leaving him for good. Perhaps it was for the best.

(Their bloodied corpses flashed through his mind, pale faces frozen in a wordless scream as they reached towards him. Their eyes kept looking at him, lifeless, accusing. It was his fault after all, his fault, he should have done more…The back of his Other getting farther away every time. He’d not been good enough for him either. He couldn’t make him happy at all and made him feel like that was the only way. His fault. His. Useless, murderer, not enough, he was not worthy of their love…)

The meeting with Yuuki had not awakened any particularly strong feelings either. He’d always imagined feeling…well, something at least, seeing her. She was an ex pureblood, after all, and the woman (well, girl now) that was supposed to birth his son. He’d always thought she’d be some kind of…special existence, perhaps. The (very) distant part of him that could still feel had almost been…disappointed by how normal she was instead.

In truth, he did not know what else he should have expected, really. Perhaps, with the way the manga went on about her, he’d been unconsciously expecting to see goodness and angelic beauty radiate from her. That had been incredibly stupid of him, thinking back (What a surprise, him being stupid. When was he not? Stupid, so stupid, always, always stupid. Not good enough. Useless. Why did he never do anything right?). After all, for the moment she was a normal girl. A normal, human girl at that. Not a pureblood anymore, nor a character on a page. She was a person, and a little girl. Still, had he been able to feel, he’d have felt…disappointed. Instead, he could not feel a thing.

Even being a vampire now did not affect him overly much. He knew he would never eat his Other, so he guessed in this realty his destiny was already set. Not that he cared overly much. His Other had no more need of him now, after all, and what life could be worth living without a purpose? If he got any luck maybe the blood tablets will work on this version of him and he’ll never have to bite anybody. He won’t let that happen either. After all, canon Zero only completed his transformation because Yuuki had wandered in at the wrong time, not listening to his warnings of staying away. Stupid girl.

Right then, the thirst was not overly bad. It was a distant echo in his mind, mixing with all his other emotions, and easily suppressed. He wondered when he’ll be getting the seal on his neck and what effect it’ll have on him. He wondered whether the fits of thirst will be very painful. He wondered what he will feel, facing his death.

It wasn’t like he thought his very nature was evil and thus he had to die. Nor that every vampire on the earth had to be exterminated. He knew the world was neither all black or white, only children or really narrow-minded people thought that way. Certainly, he still felt that most vampires saw humans as little more than cattle. Purebloods, especially, were a special brand of filth in his opinion but even then, he knew, rationally, one could not generalize. For example, he knew Yuuki will be decent enough, pureblood or not. Although that’s a bit of a special case.

It was not the matter of being a vampire that was the point anyway. No, he simply knew that Level Es could not be left alive once they had fallen. That was a fact. It did not matter whether they were evil or not, whether they wanted to hurt someone or not. They simply could not be considered anything more than pitiful, thirsting beasts moved by their instincts. He’d learned that lesson first hand.

He knew that was his destiny as well, now.

It was okay, though, really. He’d made peace with it and his new nature long ago. Or at least he’d thought so.

Every day, however, he could feel That Woman’s mark throb at random times. The phantom feeling of having her fangs deep in his flesh a constant buzzing at the back of his mind. In the beginning, it was easy enough to ignore. He could not muster enough energy to do anything anyway, really, so why even bother with it? However, as time passed, it grew and grew more every day, till finally, it broke through his perennial numbness enough to bother him and he could bear it no longer. He just had to make it stop. To take That Woman’s filth out of his body.

(It was inside, her presence. He could feel it throb in time with his heartbeat, flowing through his blood. His disgusting body now tainted forever by her mark. It was something that could not be seen, a mark on his Soul).

It was not like he had something against vampires like the original Zero, no, not at all. He wouldn’t even have had all that much against being a vampire, had he been destined to end as anything but a level E (Although having to drink blood was not an appealing thought in the least, no matter what his throbbing throat thought) But it wasn’t even that.

No, it was knowing he had something of That Woman inside of him now. Marking him so permanently it changed his genetic code, completely and irrevocably. The thought of anything of Hers inside of him, it was…unbearable. It just made him want to claw at his body to try and get it out, even though he knew it to be impossible. He just had. To. Get. It. out.

It was during one of those episodes that Yuuki stumbled in next.

He had felt her coming, obviously, but the buzz in his mind and the itch in his neck devolved all his attention at that moment. He could think of little else but that.

He had been wandering the house that evening, avoiding everybody while trying to distract himself from that feeling. In the end, he’d succumbed to it anyway, slumping by the fireplace.

Yuuki had been walking by when she saw him. She stopped, staring.

“What are you doing…? Zero…kun?”

Her voice trailed off as he turned towards her, hand still not stopping clawing at his flesh, as if in a trance.

“It feels disgusting…I still can feel that woman…”

Yuuki looked like she did not know what to feel, half surprised to hear his voice. It had probably been one of the longest things he’d said till then. Then, she finally saw the blood dripping from his hand and her eyes grew wide. She froze in place.

“It’s painful…stop it…”

Zero vaguely heard her voice protesting weakly, but he did not pay it any heed, the words not even reaching him.

“sto…”

Next thing he knew, something had launched itself at him and he found his arm weighted down, tightly held.

Seemingly realizing her words were having no effect, Yuuki had finally snapped out of her stupor and did something he’d not expected. With her expression halfway between panicky/worried and determined, she threw herself at him.

“Zero…”

She caught his arm in her grip and refused to let go, trying to restrain him. It did not take much strength at all, his body pliant in his trance-like state. She raised his bloodied hand to her cheek and looked up at him. Her profound, troubled eyes staring into his own.

“You mean the vampire who did a cruel thing to your family by “that woman” right?”

Her voice was gentle, if not a little shaky. Soothing.

“Zero-kun…you were hurt too…probably…something very terrible…”

She tightened her grip on his arm with one hand while reaching out with her other one, covering his neck where he’d been hurting himself, covering the feeling of That Woman’s fangs with her warmth.

“You are okay, now…”

She clenched her eyes tight, overtaken by her emotions. He could see them in her expression, feel them in her voice. Her pain for him, her care, her empathy. It was almost overflowing.

“You are okay now…because I’ll be holding you like this from now on…you are okay…”

Zero watched the tears gathered in her eyes, body slack, and for the first time since that night, he felt something bloom in him: warmth. It blossomed from his neck and hand, where her touch landed, and spread along his body, thawing the ice that had taken residence there.

That she could make him feel something even in this state, have this strong an effect…she really was something, after all. He could understand, now, how the other Zero could have fallen for her.

After that moment, Yuuki once again helped him clean his neck, gently guiding him through the motions. This time, however, he was aware during the whole process. For the first time in a while he felt that, perhaps, the world wasn’t so cold now and, maybe, he could push on again.

That night he ate dinner at the table with them. Cross-san was overjoyed, eyes flowing comically with tears as he launched himself at him with a strange noodle ballet. He sidestepped, of course (Zero would never admit it but even though annoying and strange, it still warmed him a little). The food however almost made him regret ever coming out of his trance. It was…disgusting. There wasn't really any other way to describe it. What the hell was Cross' idea of a meal? Those things were not meant to be mixed together.

Zero looked blankly aghast at the father and daughter eating along unconcernedly. By the gods, was it a normal thing? How had they not died of food poisoning already? And did they really like it? But more importantly, had he really been eating this till now without even realizing it? It was true he'd barely tasted anything since coming here, merely going through the motions mechanically, but…really, how had he not realized before? He must have been more out of it than he'd realized.

He took another bite and bravely had to suppress the urge to retch.

That signed it, he would be the one cooking from thereon.

(That night, for the first time, he had no nightmares, heart still cradled in leftover warmth)

I

O

I

"Ahh…!"

"How cruel Kiryuu-kuun! Throwing me out of my kitchen! Let me in, I need to prepare you all a dish of lo-oove!"

"Shut up and get out"

The next day at lunch, he proceeded to make good on his promise and promptly started with throwing Cross and Yuuki out of the kitchen. He ignored their startled cries of complaint and stoically closed the door on their noses. A slight frown marred his usually blanc face as he searched through the fridge and cupboards. What the hell kind of food did Cross buy? There was barely anything usable for a healthy meal. Tsk. He'll have to go with the man next time he went shopping. There was no way he'd leave anything food-related up to him from then on.

For the following time, he concentrated on his cooking, trying not to think of his twin as he did so. It was surprisingly easier than expected with those two morons screaming at him and banging on the door. They were startlingly…persistent.

Finally, about almost an hour later, he opened the kitchen door, stepping aside to let the two idiots crash down.

"Uah…!"

"Kiiryuuu-kuun!"

Zero ignored them, bringing out the dishes. He'd already set the table before starting, so there was no delay. He walked towards the table before settling them down.

"It's ready, sit and eat already"

Yuuki and Cross, who had somewhat gotten used to his taciturn and stilted self those past weeks, recovered soon enough, both getting up and coming towards the table.

"Ooh, Kiryuu-kun is so cute to cook for us. Yuuki, we must eat everything!" Exclaimed the chairman, holding a fist up in determination before launching himself at the table.

Yuuki followed unsurely after him at first, but soon the aroma of the food reached her nose and her expression changed with her hunger. Mouth almost drooling, she followed the delicious scent like in a trance, nodding happily as she went.

"Nh!"

Zero wondered a with distant sort of horror whether she'd ever eaten something good since losing her memories. It was a dreadfully pitiful thought, if true.

"Here"

He set down the plates before them, going back to the kitchen to take his own before sitting down as well.

"Well then, Itadakimasu!"

"'masu"

Their reactions after the first bite were despairingly funny. It really looked like they hadn’t eaten anything good in years.

"Oooh, this is so good Kiryuu-kun. I did not know you knew how to cook!"

"Un! Un!" Yuuki nodded fervently at his side, comical tears of joy flowing down her eyes as she kept eating.

"I'll be cooking from now on, at least till one of you learns how not to poison us when doing it"

"So mean! My cooking is delicious. Yuuki thinks so too, right?"

Cross turned towards his adoptive daughter, hopeful gaze filled with overexaggerated expectation, but the girl didn't return it. She went suddenly stiff, acting as if she hadn't heard him while doggedly adverting her eyes. It seemed like now she'd tasted something comestible she realized just how horrible the chairman's meals were. Zero would have cried for her poor taste buds, had he had the capacity to do so.

"Uhm…"

The man despaired at her reaction.

"How cruel! You have turned my precious, adorable, little daughter against me!"

"It's your cooking skill's fault, not mine"

"No one appreciates mee!"

They both ignored him, going on with their eating.

I

O

I

The next few days went on in a similar fashion, their first (comestible) meal together apparently setting the stage for their future relations. It was strange, in a way. Zero still felt hollow most of the time. Despair, guilt and (mostly self-)hatred fighting for dominance inside him exactly as they had before. However…something had changed at that moment, when Yuuki had found him. It was like…in-between all that pain and hate and despair…a light could be seen now and then. Not always, no, and not often at all, but…sometimes.

It came out easier when he was with her. The chairman as well, with all his silly antics and annoying persona, slowly started to breach through in his own unique way. As the days passed Zero almost regained hope of feeling even a bit alive in the future.

It was almost a week later when something else happened.

It had been a good few days since the time Yuuki had found him, but he still wore the bandage around his neck. He had done himself some good damage after all, and he did not have the courage to see the rate it was healing at. No, it was better to keep it covered till there was no doubt no marks would have been left normally either. There was no need to risk Yuuki noticing anything strange in any case. He was not ready at all to face that can of worms.

They had been dining when it happened. The doorbell rang.

They all stilled at the sound and the chairman (…not really chairman yet though, isn't he? There's no Cross academy to be a chairman of yet after all. It should be soon though, shouldn't it? ...) spoke up.

"Kiryuu-kun, we actually have a guest…" was all he said, looking intently at him.

Zero looked down at his food at that, appetite almost immediately lost. He did not want to see anyone. It had been one of his (still numerous) no-days and he'd felt out of sorts since that morning. There wasn't much he could do if it was a guest of the chairman though (No but really, should he still call him that in his head? Well…yeah, probably. After all, who cared to hear what he said in his mind? And even if they did it was not their business in the first place so whatever, he guessed).

He was so out of sort he did not even notice the chairman had spoken before the doorbell rang. In fact, it was not till it almost smacked him in the face that he felt something as well.

"So late at night…?" he asked instead.

"Yes, Yuuki. You go open the door"

The girl, who had already gotten up, went without protest. A little curious herself as to who’d be coming in.

He and the chairman watched her go for a few moments before the man spoke up again.

"Kiryuu-kun, you should see with your own eyes. You'll probably be able to tell…"

It was Cross' serious tone that tickled Zero off finally, and he immediately focused on his surroundings again.

"What is it?"

The words were barely out of his mouth before he froze, senses going haywire. How had he managed to ignore that till then? It was…

It was Yuuki's excited words that added the last clue.

"Kaname-sama"

Zero felt his body freeze.

Kaname. Kaname Kuran. How had he forgotten about him? Of course the vampire would come to visit Yuuki. He'd known that already. It made sense he would check in especially at this point, now that a pending Level E had come to live with her. No matter it was him who planned for it in the first place. In fact, he would have thought he'd have come sooner, to check on the state of his new pawn. He'd probably been held up by something.

Watching Yuuki's happy expression as that vampire lovingly caressed her face sent rage through him. How could he do that in front of him, when he was the reason Zero's own light had left him behind?

"Kaname-sama…hum…"

Zero watched, body rigid, as Yuuki led that monster further inside, trying to will himself through his rage. It would not do to cause a scene, after all. Especially as he could not really say what he wanted to. They would think him crazy at best, and at worst Kuran would sense something off. No, it was better not to react really. However, just when he thought he was going to succeed, the vampire looked straight at him.

Zero went still. Those eyes…he was sure he'd never have understood it had he not know what he did, but that look in them...the way he looked at him… The rage overcame him at that moment and a red haze filled his mind. The world narrowed down as the deafening sound of his heartbeat filled his ears, tuning out all the rest. Without even fully realizing it, he took the kitchen knife by his plate – the first weapon at hand – and ran at a blur.

He could see nothing but those eyes and he launched himself at full speed towards them. The blade piercing through that monster's flesh was a satisfying feeling, really, even though he'd have preferred having hit something more important than an arm. Like an eyeball. Not even the knowledge he'd only managed to hit at all because Kuran had let him, to protect Yuuki (who had stupidly run right towards his pointed knife. Really, could that girl be any more stupid?), managed to douse it. Nor did the other two's panicked exclamations. He simply stared as hatefully and accusingly as he could into those red-brown eyes.

"Vampire!"

It was a miracle he'd retained enough reason to not voice out the real accusation that wanted to sweep out (Murderer). It seems something was going right for him at least. Now, if only that monster before him would just self-combust as he was willing him to, it would really be perfect. No such luck though.

"Slashing me so suddenly…not so nice of you."

Oh, that little! Was he the only one who could read the mocking behind those words? It seemed so as nobody else was reacting to them. If only he could show him what he really wanted to do to him…

"Shut up, vampire!" he yelled in reply, wanting to wipe that look from his eyes (well, more of a feeling rather than a look, in truth). Then, just about remembering he had to find something to explain his behaviour, he went on.

"You smell just like That Woman"

It was true. He felt the same way as well. His hunter senses were still going haywire, with something unfamiliar mixing in. Zero clenched his teeth. Were those vampire senses? It was true he didn’t particularly hate vampires but the idea of something, anything, in him even distantly contemplating the idea of submitting to this…this…pureblood. It made his blood boil even more as he sank the knife deeper in the other's flesh. Enough to hit the bone.

Kuran remained impassive, however, and just went on with his little play.

"That woman…? So, you are Zero…Kiryuu?" he said, his voice thoughtful (mockingly so in Zero's mind).

"I heard about you"

Yeah, of course he's heard. He was the one to orchestrate everything behind the scenes in the first place after all. Like the puppet-master he fancied himself to be, playing everyone as if a pawn readily asking to be used.

He clenched his teeth as the vampire yanked the knife from his arm easy as breathing. Seemingly not even registering Zero's efforts to resist, he threw it to the ground.

"I'm sorry about your family, but I've got no intention of getting killed by you"

Zero wanted to scream at those words, the pain finally hitting in alongside the rage.

He looked to the knife, discarded just as his family had been. His eyes were full of pain.

He felt Cross' hand land on his shoulder then, trying to console him.

"You are mistaking the one to get revenge on, Kiryuu-kun…"

He clenched his fists. Really, he did not know whether he ought to laugh or cry at that point. If only the chairman knew just how wrong he was…if only he could do something, anything to fix this, someone who would believe him should he tell the truth…he felt so useless right then, a sense of powerlessness almost overcoming him. There was nothing at all he could do, just like against That Woman.

He let the chairman led him away, not wanting to listen anymore to what that monster was saying.

Later that night found Zero on his bed, head hidden behind his raised knee. Thinking. How could he just act like…like their lives had meant nothing? Was he really that evil? Or just that damaged inside.

He knew, really, that Kaname wasn’t truly evil. Even knowing the truth since the beginning, he'd never hated him for what was to come. He’d even though he could almost understand. Now, however…

It was the same thing as with Yagari-Shishou's eye. Knowing and living something were two completely different things. It was just…the look in his eyes, his aura…was he really the only one who could sense it? Was it on purpose on Kuran's part?

Yuuki's presence at his door roused him from his thoughts then. He didn’t raise his head, however. He was suddenly reminded of how Yuuki was that bastard' sister. At least as far as people knew. The one who would grow up to marry him (Or want to at least. He didn't know whether they ever did marry in the end…certainly got busy together, though). She lingered by the door for a bit, hesitant, before finally deciding to speak up.

"Zero-kun…Kaname-sama has gone home…", she said softly as she came into the room, as if afraid of startling him. He did not move.

"I'm sorry…I should have told you sooner…are you okay, Zero-kun?"

The bed creaked as she put her weight on it, hand reaching out towards him. The same hand that had brought back warm into him just a few nights before. The same one that caressed that bastard’s hand. He lashed out instinctively, slapping it away.

"Don't you dare touch me with the hand you touched him!" he exclaimed in her face, blood boiling once again. His previous thoughts and the image of Yuuki, looking all so pleasing and pliant under that vampire's touch, coalesced to make a very explosive mix inside of him.

Immediately after, however, he viciously bit onto his lip, looking back down as he restrained himself. He did not mean to hurt or startle her. He knew she was innocent of all this. Just another chess piece being pulled along, for all that vampire claimed to love her.

Yuuki looked at him in surprise, evidently shocked by his sudden actions. Then, she looked down as well, voice hesitant but shining with conviction as she spoke up again.

"Kaname-sama is a kind vampire…he saved me from a terrible vampire…"

Zero wanted to scoff at her blind belief. Did she really think he had no ulterior motive? Admittedly, from her point of view it must be confusing but why, did she think, would a pureblood of Kuran's calibre care so much about a little mortal girl? It just screamed 'suspicious'. How could Yuuki not wonder about that?

Well, to be truthful he vaguely remembered Yuuki not even knowing that purebloods were a thing till much, much later (embarrassingly so in his opinion, considering everything. Did they really let her live under a crystal ball? What good did that even do?), let alone that her precious Kaname-sama was one. Still…

"There must be something wrong with you" his own voice was raspy when he spoke again, almost muffled in his sleeve.

"Both Cross and you…can you really not see?"

Zero looked intently into her eyes at that, searching for any trace of a reaction or comprehension of what he was talking about. He only got a confused look back instead. He almost facepalmed. How could it be? Was it really only him? Was Kuran letting him see it on purpose, in some kind of twisted lashing out for getting to live with his precious princess when he could not? Or was it really all on him? Had canon Zero felt it as well? If so, it's no wonder his feelings towards him did not change for such a long time, all else aside.

He had to have sensed something more going on, the façade Kuran put up for the world, but not know why nor what. If he remembered correctly, they'd only started getting along by the end, when Kuran was set on dying and left out (all?) pretences. But he could be remembering wrong after all. All the parts after the anime were a bit fuzzy for him.

Zero sighed inwardly even as Yuuki went away after some other words he did not pay attention to, already sucked back into his own thoughts. Truth be told, now that he was finally calming down again, he could almost sympathise a bit with what Kuran must be going through. They were somewhat in the same situation after all. He knew, in theory, that the man was broken and would do anything in his power to guard the only light left in his life. Even if he had to separate from it for a while for Its own good.

It was almost the same thing he was going through with Ichiru, only he was with people who cared (or will come to, following canon) about him. Not surrounded by a pack of hungry scavengers panting for his blood with only a few, meticulously calculated, allies. A pity he wore a mask around them as well most of the time.

Aside from that, though, was Zero not the same? He'd known what was going to happen. Surely, he could have changed things had he just tried harder. But he had not wanted to jeopardize his Other's happiness, and so did not pose much resistance. He was just as responsible for their parent's death as Ichiru was, really. Not that he did not hold Shizuka and Kaname responsible, of course, but that was another thing entirely.

In any case he knew, in theory, that Kuran wasn't really evil. Just broken. But he really could not think like that right then. The vampire was a damn chess-master playing with people's lives after all. No matter the reasons behind such a thing, it was just wrong and simply disgusting. Not to talk about his damn smug, self-satisfied aura and mocking, gentle smile. Just thinking back on it made his blood boil.

(He wondered if he’d imagined that glimpse of sadness he’d seen then. It had come and gone faster than he could realize in that state, but thinking back on it now, he wondered…)

There was nothing much he could do about it, though, nor did he care overly much about what was going to happen to him in the future. As far he was concerned, he could have died that night and be satisfied. Without his reason for living, he was dead inside anyway.

But no… that was not entirely correct. Now that he was finally shocked out of his stupor fully, he recognized there was still one thing left for him to do. A purpose to move him forward.

In a few years, whether he'll be there or not, his Other will return. Following Shizuka's death at the hands of Kuran Kaname, he'll sacrifice himself to try and fulfil her purpose. Only to end up dying at the hands of yet another Kuran. Whether he ate Ichiru or not at that point, he'll die anyway.

That was something he could not allow.

He had momentarily lost sight of his goal after that night but now, after the shock of meeting Kuran in person for the first time, his path had cleared once more.

He was destined to die. Of that, there were no doubts in Zero's mind. However, there was one thing left to do before his time came. How could he have forgotten, even momentarily, of his higher purpose in this life? The separation from his Other and all the rest must have really affected him more than he'd realized. Well, just one reason more to proceed. No matter what, he had to preserver until then. If he died protecting his Other, he'll die happily. It was certainly a better end than being put down like a rabid dog, either by someone he loved or a perfect stranger.

Yes, he had an objective, and in those years till then he had to prepare as much as possible. He had to put in even more effort than canon Zero did. That Zero was lost and confused after all, he had no real motivation moving him forward if not, perhaps, his hate. But directionless hate was not too effective either. Especially not when most of it was directed at himself.

He, however, was different. He had a clear objective in front of him now. He was not directionless anymore. And it was something much more powerful than hate. His Other's fate was in his hands, after all. He had to do his best, better even, to protect him and make sure he was happy. It should come as second nature to him in any case. It was all he'd known in this life after all, but this time, he had to succeed.

Sighing, Zero did not even notice when his thoughts petered off and he drifted into sleep. Darkness enveloped him as he slipped down the bed, laying down. His tear stained face peaceful for the first time since coming there.

Notes:

The End!
For now, obviously.
What do you guys think? Was it any good? Or was it too long-winded? What do you think of my Zero’s thoughts on both Yuuki and Kaname? Were you disappointed I did not change their meetings?

To be honest, I really loved the way Zero and Kaname’s first meeting went in canon so I couldn’t bring myself to change it. Besides, this Zero knows Kuran was the one behind Shizuka’s attack, so I didn’t see him react any better, really. At least not when presented with him like that.

As for Yuuki, instead… If some of you are wondering, Zero will not see her as he did in canon but she’ll still become a precious presence for him. It’s just that his Other takes first place, and he won’t like her romantically, so… oh and he will make sure she’ll be better prepared this time around. Thus no stupid, clueless little girl throwing herself in trouble and causing problems to others.

Well…not so much at least. You can only change someone so much after all and Yuuki is, fundamentally, an innocent, gentle, caring and brash/reckless person. This will remain. I’ll only change her knowledge and how she’ll go about things a bit. Just enough to not be annoying while remaining the same girl we like.

Now, for those replies:

Jazlyn191: Thank you, I appreciate your imputs. Hope you'll keep helping me!

Absolute Zero: Yeah, he tried, but it was not enough. The situation was completely umbalanced after all. Something had to give, and Ichiru needed space to grow as his own person.
In any case, I hope you liked how Zero dealt with the situation for now. That's the first reaction while pratically under shock, though, so we will see later on.
Thank you for replying to my questions as well, I liked how those songs fit with them.

Livelovelaughapps: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. Hope you'll like this chapter as well.

Well, this is it. thank you for reading and please let me know what you think this time as well!

Chapter 6: From The Ashes

Notes:

Hi guys, I know it's been long. Sorry but I just really didn't know how to write Zero at this point of the story. I still feel like I've lost my handle on his character and fear I'll make him too OOC...sigh.

Well, I did my best, I swear. Let me know how he came out.
In any case! As usual, thanks to all those still following me and a special thank you to all those who left kudos, subscribed, bookmared or left a comment!

Especially, thanks to:
skidney; Jazlyn191; Rabeden; KanaZero; AllroundYaoiFangirl; waifuwithknaifu; MistressPeverell; Fudge_cakesss and Smiling_Seshat.

Here is CH6, I hope you enjoy. In these times I thought I should give a contribute as well, let's say. Even if it seems like just because there are no physical classes each professor has decided to fill us with enough work to fill the whole week on their own! Ugh...I never did so much homework for my Uni classes before...perhaps because I never had any, at all!

Well, now that that's out of the way, here it is. Zero and Kaname have another interaction. Hope you like it and I didn't write them too OOC...let me know your thoughts and if you have any suggestion!

After the meeting, things passed quickly for Zero. He’d decided to concentrate on being prepared for the future and the first thing on this order of business was getting back to his training. Since the death of his parents and his Other walking out, he’d been left in a state of shock, feeling lost and disoriented. He’d forgotten for a while what his real end game had been from the start, in the case his family’s tragedy had to happen.

It was understandable then, that he’d not trained a single day since. That, however, had to change now he was back on his feet, so to speak.

He started with talking to Cross, telling him he’d be retaking up his morning routine. Cross had been momentarily surprised by his proclamation, probably not thinking he’d want to keep up with his hunter training, what with…well, being a vampire now and all that.

After that momentary surprise and ascertaining himself that was really what he wanted to do, however, the man had immediately bounced back. Enthusiastically. He’d offered on the spot to train with him and told him not to worry about the organization as he’d talk to them himself. That had actually made Zero think about the organization in the first place. He had…forgotten to take it into account, to be honest.

Thinking about it, it was obvious the organization would have something to say about training a vampire as a hunter. It was really pretty much a given. It was just that…well, he already knew his counterpart had been allowed to keep training. Or at least to start hunting. Thus, he had not even thought to worry about it...

Now that he did, however, he became extremely worried. He had no idea what made the organization allow the other Zero to keep his title as a hunter. Would he have to do something? Would they try to kill him off? Would anybody even be allowed to teach him?

Right when he was about to drown himself in worry, Cross lay a warm hand on his head and told him not to worry in his most serious and comforting voice. Zero felt himself calming down instinctively as he looked into the man’s eyes. After all, he’d said he’ll take care of it. Thinking on it, he must have done so the first time as well, thus he doubted things would go all that wrong.

With that out of the way, he took up his physical training once more and left the political side of things to the man. It was…strange to train without his Other. It was not the first time he’d had to train alone in the past (what with his brother’s health) but most often than not, even when he could not physically join, Ichiru would remain beside him to unwaveringly cheer him on. Not having that anymore made Zero feel the aching void of his presence even more. Aside from that, training alone was always more troublesome.

Cross mostly just looked over him for the moment, taking note of his level and progress. He gave him advice and corrected his forms now and then, but di not involve himself too much. Zero wondered whether the man was feeling conflicted on the decision of training him actively or if he was simply observing his current level while awaiting the Association’s permission to proceed.

As for Yuuki, the girl did not notice much as most of his training happened early in the morning and the girl slept like a log. She did ask what he was doing, but he simply replied with ‘studying’ and she dropped the subject.

He did his physical training in the morning and read a few of the Chairman’s texts over the afternoon, taking care of lunch and dinner in between. It was a much less intensive training than what he was used to, especially since he lacked both a partner, a weapon and a real mentor, but it would have to do for now. He wondered whether Master Yagari would show up to train him again in the future... He didn’t remember what happened between them at that point in the manga.

He must have met with Cross again at some point, however, as after a few days the man came back with all his possessions from the old house. All the things that mattered, anyway. He got back his photo albums as well. As he’d thought before, those albums were now the only thing he'd left of his Other and their family. It…hurt to look at them, though. Perhaps it was still too soon. Still, he couldn’t help putting one under his pillow, while leaving the others safely hidden away in his room.

In any case he tried not to think too much on that. The sense of guilt, despair and self-hatred always threatened to swallow him when he did and he had no time to brood. He only gave himself time to self-indulge before going to bed. He had too much to do during the day, after all.

He’d begun to get closer with Cross and Yuki as well. It had been a few weeks since his arrival and a while since he’d lashed out at Yuki that night. He’d apologised for it the following morning but neither of them retracted their words. Nobody mentioned it again after that.

Since then, the three began getting closer as they spent more time together. Cross watched over Zero’s training and the boy helped Yuki with her homework (The girl really was a spaz. She wasn’t stupid but was way too simple minded and got distracted far too easily. Math definitely wasn’t her subject). He’d begun going grocery shopping as well, with the other two trailing after him excitedly as they thought about what they’ll eat that week.

Other than that there hadn’t been much else for Zero to do. He’d already informed the chairman he won’t be returning to school that year. He knew now that Yuki was, in fact, a year younger than him and vaguely remembered something about the other Zero skipping a year in protest of the chairman’s ideal of coexistence. Unable to bear living so near a nest of ‘murdering beasts’. The only reason he’d finally relented was probably the thought of Yuki being there alone.

Zero had thought about it and decided it’d be better to follow the same route, if for different reasons and in a different order. It would follow the original plot and have him in Yuki’s class, for one. It wasn’t really necessary, but it would preserve at least a bit of his future knowledge and give him more time to train as well – which was really the main point for him. Besides, he knew it wouldn’t be a problem to recuperate the year if he ever wanted to, or even to skip one.  If he'll ever do that, however, it would probably only be after Rido was dealt with. 

(If he was even still alive at that point and had not succumbed to level E. He had no intention of devouring his Other, after all)

Meanwhile, he’d simply told the Chairman he did not feel like going to school right away after what happened and wanted to concentrate on his training, instead. The man had tried to convince him otherwise, of course, but Zero had stubbornly stood his point. In the end, Cross could only relent, after making him promise to go back the next year.

The days passed peacefully like that, till one evening the moment he was waiting for came to pass. He knew it would sign the start of the next phase of his life. The last one as well, perhaps, if things went well.

They’d just finished eating dinner. Zero was sitting on the sofa, studying his books as usual, while Yuki was bringing in the tea she’d brewed (about the only thing she knew how to make passably, really) when the chairman started speaking. He’d been cheerful since morning, skipping here and there, so Yuki and Zero had taken care to stay far, far away. Now, it seemed like the man couldn’t wait for them to ask anymore.

Straightening up, he cleared his throat.

“Hem, hem, children, as you know, I’m Cross Academy’s Chairman,” he said in a half sing-song, half pompous way.
“As such, I’ve decided to found the ‘Night Class’ in my school, starting from next year.”

Zero became stock still, fingers holding rigidly onto the book between them.

‘Night Class’...so the time had come.

He remembered this point in the manga. Had been waiting for it, in fact. The only thing he hadn’t know was whether it'd come before or after getting his tattoo. It looks like this happened first.

If he didn’t remember wrongly, Kuran was going to show up soon as he and the chairman shot down all of Zero’s objections. Absorbed in his thoughts, he only vaguely heard the other two’s discussion go on. Finally, he interrupted, wanting to cut through all the chairman’s dancing around.

“It’s for vampires.”

“Huh?”

Yuuki, who had been trying to follow Cross’ line of thought, turned towards him with a questioning look on her face.

(Some distant part of his brain noted, half amused and half exasperated, that she really did look dumb like that. He wondered if she needed training to make those expressions or whether they came to her naturally)

“The class. Is for vampires. Am I right?”

The last part was directed at the chairman, lilac eyes sharp and half accusing.

Yuki startled a little at that, turning back to look at the man with a surprised and confused gaze.

“Chairman..?”

The Chairman, however, was exalted.

“Exactly, Zero-kun! How did you know?”

Zero avoided answering, levelling a sharp glare towards the man.

“What are you thinking, letting them in a human school?”

He had known it was coming, known it was going to happen no matter what, and he knew it would more or less go well...till Rido came, at least. Still, he could not help but feel it was irresponsible. Besides, looking at it in a TV show or manga book was one thing, living it was another. This was real life after all, and those were real human killing machines. The danger was enormous. Moreover, all his hunter instincts were screaming at the very idea. They did start his indoctrination extremely early, after all. Something was bound to catch no matter what.

Cross sweated a little under his glare, laughing nervously for a moment. He calmed down soon after though. Sobering up, he pushed up his glasses, the light glinting off of them.

“It’s for the ‘peaceful coexistence of vampires and humans’ and educating young vampires to be ‘moderate’.”

It was not the chairman who’d replied, however. Zero had felt him approaching this time, had been waiting for it in fact.

“Kaname-kun, you’ve come.”

“Ah, Kaname-sama?!”

Said boy smiled gently.

“I just came in...good evening, Yuki.”
Of course he would acknowledge only her. 

“Kuran”

Zero greeted heatedly, glaring darkly at the vampire. His body was taut with hostility and instincts. He could sense it, the oppressive aura coming from the still thin figure. Although he may have understood the vampire’s motives, that didn’t mean the hatred suddenly went away. He wasn’t ready to forgive or forget, yet. Besides, the guy just rubbed him wrong. Not to talk about the unpleasantness of feeling his two sides fight against each other. His hunter side wanting to kill the creature before him while his vampire one wanted to submit, to coerce, escape, get close, posses, anything. Luckily, that side was still very weak and made only sporadic appearances. After a moment struggle, he managed to restrain both and straightened up.

Kuran looked at him, a brief contemplating look in his eyes. “Kiryuu-kun”

“Do you agree with the chairman’s plan as well?”

He knew the pureblood would participate, but he wondered whether he really believed in the ideal or if the academy was just a convenient board for him to move his chess pieces on.
Kuran’s eyes were completely unreadable even as he let another light smile curl his lips. It was completely different from the one he showed Yuki seconds ago.

“Of course. Cross-san’s whish is also my own.”

Zero couldn’t say from looking at him whether it was the truth or not, but something told him it was. He just didn’t know what.

Wanting to dig a little further, he probed on.

“And why would vampires want to live alongside humans? No, the bloody history has been covered up uncountable times already.”

“I want it to end. Because I‘ve lost someone too...just like Kiryuu-kun.”

Cross’ voice was deep and serious as he replied, eyes hidden behind his glasses.

Zero glared at him.

“That doesn’t justify you putting others' lives at such risk. It would be like letting a pack of wolves into a flock of unknowing sheep! They would need a deterrent, at the very least, and a strong one.”

Yuki, who had been looking on from the side, spoke up as well at that point, clearly looking worried. 

“There’s Zero’s issue...chairman, you’ve already decided?”

Zero could see the fear she was trying to hide behind her eyes. He briefly wondered how two siblings could be so different from one another. Then he  remembered they really weren’t, after all, and let it go.

“You have nothing to worry about, both of you,” reassured the chairman seriously. “Kaname-kun will be in the Night class, so the other vampires will be obedient...and thanks to him many vampires have decided to come.”

“I see,” Zero replied as if he had not already known. “So you’ll be their deterrent. However, what will be yours? If you decide to leave or betray it’s the end, isn’t it?”

Kuran gave him a penetrating look before replying.

“I don’t need a deterrent. I can perfectly control myself Kiryuu-kun, I assure you. I imagine it would be difficult to continue if I were to leave, but there’s no reason to talk about it now and I assure you, I have no intention of betraying the Chairman.” 

(Liar. You’re already planning your leave and I know your deterrent. It won’t be for long. And how did they not hear it? The mocking behind my name..)

Zero glared darkly at him before turning to the chairman and Yuki.

“I’ll be going then, I’m tired. Good night.”
Without another word or waiting for a reply he turned sharply around and left the room. It was quite rude perhaps, but at least he wasn’t stabbing the vampire with a knife anymore. Progress was still progress, right?

After he’d calmed down last time, he'd realized that independently of what the other had done, Zero was just as guilty – if not more – as him. He had know what was coming after all, but not only had he failed to save his Other, as a direct consequence of said failing he’d allowed his twin to go on with his plan. At the end he'd even encouraged him, almost. For that, he hated himself. He was too weak, not strong enough. Never had been, when he’d needed it the most. And due to his weakness, people kept paying the price. Yagari-Shishou, Ichiru, their parents. He was the real culprit behind all that happened. Had he only been strong enough, or smart enough...

Things were going to change now, though. He didn’t want to be weak anymore. He’ll dedicate all his time to improving himself. He’ll be ready the next time someone needed him, the next time his Other will need him...

With those thoughts in mind he entered his room, not wanting to see Kuran anymore. Not considering him completely responsible did not mean he liked him now, after all, just that he didn’t hate him as much. Dislike, perhaps. Strongly. Very strongly. Ok maybe still hate. Nobody was perfect. 

As he was about to close his door, he saw Yuki coming towards him.

“Yuki, what are you doing here?”

Yuki stood at his door, clasped hands held to her chest.

“Zero-kun, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he replied, making his way towards his bed.

“Do you really think the chairman’s dream is impossible?”

Zero sighed, looking to the side.

“I don’t think it’s completely impossible, but it’s extremely dangerous. It certainly won’t be simple, nor a short term plan. Things would need to change completely.”

“But, I’m sure, with Kaname-sama there...”

“No vampire will dare disobey Kuran, at least when he’s present. But the moment he leaves the school, the class has to close. It would be too difficult to find a substitute. Not all purebloods are like Kuran.” He tch'ed. “For all his defects at least his control is top-par.”

“Zero-kun, what’s...a pureblood? You’ve called Kaname-sama that before as well. What...what does it mean?”

Zero gave her a startled look at that.

“You don’t know what a pureblood is?”
She tilted her head, lifting a fist to her temple “Etto...should I?”

He shock his head in disbelief. That was right. He’d almost forgotten how ignorant Yuki was kept till much later. For her ‘protection’ of course. Canon Zero was guilty of it as well, undoubtedly, although he was the only one not knowing she’d end up becoming a pureblood vampire (turning back, she already is. Only a disguise right now. But it’s so real...). He’d most probably thought he’ll be able to keep her out of it. Or at least not let her get involved more than she was. He knew differently now, however.

At that moment, Zero decided. He’ll help her be as prepared as he could. He won’t let her find herself drowning when the time came, only able to depend on others. He’ll make sure she’ll be as ready as she could be to face what was to come. Starting now.

“You really should, considering.”

“Heh?!”

(Well, he amended looking at the stupid face she was making, it was also possible she simply forgot. She was that air headed after all. )

He carried on talking, ignoring her shout. “A pureblood is a type of vampire. There are 5, in total, which form the vampire hierarchy.  From the bottom-up they are: level E, level D, level C, Level B and the level A vampires, or purebloods, who stand above all the others. They are the most dangerous, the ones without even a drop of human blood in them . They really are beasts in human form, but they are also the ones who can mask themselves the best.”

“What...”

Yuki looked really anxious at that point, her hands tightly grasped together.

“They are at the top of the totem pole and all the other vampires have to listen to their orders. They are the most powerful, feared and revered, and their blood is like the sweetest delicacy to those beasts. It can make anyone who drinks it stronger. Many of them crave it. Directly under are the level B, the aristocrats. They also posses one kind of power but have some human blood in their ancestry, while Level C, D and E are all humans turned vampires. Only a pureblood’s bite has this power, contrary to legends, so that if they ever drink from a human the only outcomes are that either they die or get turned into vampires themselves.” His voice took on a clear and calm quality as he explained in the simplest way he knew how, hoping to impart the importance of that knowledge onto her.

“An-d...Kaname-sama is...a pureblood?”

“Yes. That’s the reason why his presence would be needed if the chairman really wants to go on with his idea. Only a pureblood has the power to rein in all the other vampires. Besides that, the Kurans were a really old and powerful family, and the last – and only – vampire royal line.”

“Then...”

Noticing the slight fear and anxiety now hidden in her eyes, Zero sighed silently. He knew that, like him, she had also been attacked by a vampire as a child and had been really scarred by the event. Especially with it being her first (human) memory.

“The one whom attacked you was probably a level E.”

“Level...E?”

“These are the human-turned vampires who fall to their hunger for blood till they become nothing else but beasts following their instincts. These are the kind of vampires hunters kill the most.”

Zero wondered if it had really been a level E, though, as he remembers some sort of vampire rebellion or whatever going on at that time, led by Rido Kuran. She had no need to know that, however, but especially, Zero had no legitimate way of knowing about it either. Besides, normally Level Es were really the ones whom attacked humans the most.

Seeing her face, he sighed again, preparing himself to say what he’d been thinking for those years but hadn’t yet gotten the courage to say before his parents and Master.

“Aside from those ones, not all vampires are bad. They’re all dangerous, of course – they eat human blood after all – but so are humans in the end. There can be good and bad vampires as well. It’s just not many of them bother to be good to humans. For most of them we’re simply food.” Zero looked away then, preparing to say the most difficult part. “I know Kuran saved your life and is looking after you. You already knew he's a vampire. Knowing what kind shouldn’t change anything to you. He’s still the same person you knew before. I’m sure he wouldn’t hurt you after all that trouble.”

Yuki tightened her hands even more at that but then let go, relaxing.

“Yes, Zero-kun is right. Kaname-sama wouldn’t hurt me, he’s a good person. I’m sure he won’t let the other vampires hurt anybody,” she said, smiling.

“You still should not forget that he remains a vampire. Even though he looks like a human, he’s not.”

She nodded firmly, twice. “Huh. Huh. I know.”

Thinking about a scene soon to come Zero sighed again, knowing she really didn’t at all yet, but he guessed now was not the time to focus on that. Instead, he changed the subject slightly, clearing his throat after talking so long for the first time since he had to teach something to Ichiru.

“You really should know those things already, though.”

“I should?”

“You live with an ex hunter and an hunter in training now, and your beloved saviour is a vampire, how come you know so little about this?”

“Eh?! Cross-san is an ex-hunter?”

“You didn’t know that either?!”

Zero felt a tick appear on his forehead as he pinched his nose in a frustrated way.

“He he...”

Yuki simply laughed embarrassedly at that, while lightly hitting her head with a fist. It seemed like she really knew nothing.

“Starting tomorrow I’m going to teach you! You should know these things, especially if the Chairman really brings about his idea and we have to live near vampires for the next years.”

“Ah! But I’ve already got my homework to do...”

“Don’t worry, we’ll find the time. This is much more important after all.”

“Ugh..!”

They chatted a bit more after that before Zero finally sent her back out to Kuran. It wasn’t often he could come after all, so she should spend time with him when she could. Of course, he didn’t tell her in that way. Besides, he had no want to keep talking at the moment.

After she left, he finally got ready to sleep. As he laid down on his bed, however, he found himself staring at the ceiling, lost in thoughts. He really was not tired. That had just been his excuse to get out of the room after all. His mind was far too full to sleep.

Cross Academy. The place where it all was going to happen. Where he’ll meet with his Other again, along with their parent’s murderer. Soon, the timeline he saw Before will be upon him. He will finally see whether he’ll be able to change something or nothing at all.

(...Soon, too soon, not ready, and yet not soon enough...)

Zero sighed, turning around on his bed. He felt restless but tried to clear his mind anyway. It was useless to think about it. He knew what was to come, he just had to prepare for it.

O

Zero stared at the thing before him. It laid there innocently, as if it hadn’t just called him all the way from his room in the middle of the night. He stood there stock-still for interminable moments, fighting a battle against himself. The call was too strong to resist for long, however. Half hypnotized, he extended his hand towards the cold metal. Pulling it up to his face, Zero stared transfixed at the dark substance before him. His throat burned terribly and he could feel his gums ache at the proximity. It was the first time he’d felt it. The thirst, the...hunger. Mentally, he cursed both Cross and himself for forgetting to do the dishes earlier, while at the same time he felt his self-hatred build up. Pure blood. The best delicacy for vampires. It was like the most precious of wine, aged to perfection, and all vampires craved it. Had he really fallen so low as to pant after dried blood like a starving beast, the same way these leeches did? His hand trembled slightly as it rose further, bringing it closer. It just smelt so...intoxicating.  He knew, if things went as in canon, one day he’ll have to drink it from the source. Still warm and fresh... would it really be so bad to taste it a little earlier, then? Just...a little bit...Lips parted slightly as a pink tongue darted out, flicking over the cold surface. His mouth immediately exploded with flavour and he felt a little moan escape from it. It was difficult to describe the taste, but he knew he never wanted to stop drinking it...

O

Zero jerked awake with a gasp, sitting up on his bed. He was painting harshly and his throat burned painfully, just like in the dream. No...in the memory. He’d really gone back that night, called by the disgusting smell of blood that permeated the house. The Chairman had cleaned the table but he hadn’t washed the plates that night, probably wishing to retire early after the evening's excitement. Nobody thought about it further. Thus, the knife had remained there, unattended, and so had the blood...Zero had know he'd have to expect the thirst to hit at some point, but that had been the first time and it had caught him off guard. He’d had no defences ready and it had overwhelmed him. The fact that it was pure blood calling for him only made things worse, even dried. However, in reality he'd managed to control himself. He’d simply thrown the knife down and let the water wash away the blood. He’d felt disgusting the whole night afterwards, not getting a wink of sleep as he’d tried to ignore his screaming throat and burning thirst. It had been the moment it had really hit home he wasn’t human anymore. He was transforming into a disgusting, senseless beast moved only by the call of blood. It had also been the moment he’d sworn not to give in to it. Canon Zero had resisted for years and years before he couldn’t take it anymore, after all. He intended to do the same.

Letting out a shaky breath, Zero slowly calmed himself down, releasing the sheets clenched tightly in his fists. A slender hand rubbed tiredly at his right eye. Just what he'd needed. A reminder of that night while the pureblood was still in the house. It had probably been that which had caused the dream in the first place, thinking about it. His presence must have stirred his new vampire senses up. Sighing, he saw it had only been around 10 minutes since he’d laid down. Zero briefly contemplated going back to sleep but the idea of dreaming any more immediately changed his mind. Sighing again, he threw off the covers and got up, leaving his room for the kitchen. Maybe drinking something warm will help him to calm down. 

I
O
I

Zero was sitting at the table, drinking his hot chocolate, when Kuran came up from Yuki’s room. He cursed inwardly. Great, just what he'd needed after the dream he’d had.

Still, the boy kept his head stubbornly down, hoping the vampire would just pass by. For some reason, though, he wasn’t counting on it. As expected, he felt the other’s presence stop by the kitchen’s door only moments later. Zero seriously contemplated ignoring it but then gave up the though – as if he’d be able to. Sighing softly to himself, he raised his head and met that garnet gaze straight on.

“Kiryuu”

“Kuran”

Zero didn’t know how, but he had a feeling the vampire was more moody then usual even though his affable mask was still in place. He briefly wondered how good the other had had to get at masking himself to avoid all these aristocratic leeches sucking him dry. He’d have felt more sympathy if the vampire were actually a child, he was sure. As it was, Zero only felt a vague sense of respect and disgust for the king leech's skill at acting and manipulation.

“Weren’t you going to bed?”

Zero glared at that, trying to ignore the memory it evoked, “I was.”

“I see.”

The two stared at each other for a few seconds, the air charged with tension. Zero now cursed himself for choosing the kitchen to sit down in. The presence of the pureblood there, along with the memory of the dream, made his throat itch. He hated that. Hated how the memory of that smell made his eyes want to focus on the vampire's veins. He wasn’t going to give in. He knew, as soon as he did, his descent to Level E would being and he refused to become that. He’d kill himself before that happened.

(...Disgusting...lusting after his blood. The leech's fault – thanks to him – their parents’ murder – his Other’s freedom. Must resist, can’t give in, won’t give in. But it smelt so good... No, no, it’s not true. Not enough, never enough, weak, pathetic, disgusting...)

Zero tch'ed. He let go of his cup and got up, needing a distraction from his own thoughts and instincts. Swiftly, he worked something at the stove before placing another cup on the table and retaking his chair. All without looking at Kuran once.

Sitting back down, the boy simply resumed his own slow sips, gaze intently fixed somewhere to the side and scowl firmly in place.

At the doorstep, the pureblood looked over the boy's movements, assessing. His deep red gaze showed no hint of his thoughts. Then, as if finally coming to a decision, he sat down as well.

“You are being quite...civil, Kiryuu-kun.”
Zero tsk’ed lightly at that.

“It’s too late at night to be angry right now. For me, at least. For you I guess it’d still be early.”

“So it seems."

The two fell silent at that and Kaname slowly brought the cup up before him. Parting his lips, he took a careful sip, still unaccustomed to that specific human sweet. Red eyes shifted imperceptibly at the scalding taste on his tongue.

“Careful, it’s still hot.”

“It’s alright. This is quite good.”

“It’s what we used to prepare when we could not sleep.” Zero finally brought his gaze to the vampire at that, observing him just like the other had done to him. Kuran slowly rolled his tongue around his mouth – whether for the flavour or for the temperature he did not know – tasting his drink.

“You can’t sleep right now?”

He didn’t know what prompted his response then, whether the strange sense of melancholy that radiated from Kuran earlier, or a masochistic desire to see his reaction, but the words came out of his mouth before he could think too much on them.

“It happens often since then. Nightmares and thoughts of my Other at night.”

Kaname paused at that.

“Your Other?”

“My twin, Ichiru.”

Zero’s gaze shifted to the side once more, eyes darkening as his mind was brought back to that day.

“I’m sure you've heard about him,” he said, trying to keep his tone neutral.

“I heard he died with your parents. My condolences.”

“But I’m sure you know that is not true.”

Kaname hummed non-committedly before resuming his sipping, gaze never leaving Zero's form.

“Why did you say it then?”

“To hide the truth.”

“And what is the truth?”

Lavender eyes turned again then, staring down intensely into garnet red.

“That I could not stop the darkness from drowning him.”

“You say this as if it was your fault.”

“Because it was.”

The two fell into silence, then, their sipping the only sound to be heard. Finally, it was broken by Kaname, who delicately set his cup down.

“Yuki told me you spoke wit her.”

Ah, finally, the subject behind the other’s mood came out.

“I did."

“You told her about vampire hierarchy.”

His displeasure, and what on anyone else would be called petulance, filtered through his aura, making his affable persona and still placid face look extremely fake in Zero's eyes.

“You mean I told her about purebloods.”

“She says you’re going to give her lessons from now on.”

“I am.”  

Kaname’s look became quite intense at that, and Zero could feel his aura becoming even more oppressive. His eyes were void of emotion.

“Why would you do that?”

“She lives among hunters and vampires, Kuran, but you’ve all left her completely ignorant.”

“She’s still young. She has no need to know more than she does.”

Zero glared darkly at him.

“You and Cross have invited a pack of beasts to the school. She’ll be surrounded by your kind soon, but she has no need to know about what that means at all?!”

“I assure you, she won’t be in danger. If you’re worried, however, you could simply protect her instead.”

The feeling of mocking and provocation was subtle, but clearly meant for Zero to hear. He ignored it.

“So you think she should go all her life in ignorance, all docile and protected like a little kept pet? She has a right to know, Kuran.”

“Yet I notice you haven’t told her about you.”

Zero glared at that.

“It’s among the things I intend to teach her,” he said darkly, staring the pureblood down. Soon after, however, he let the anger drain away with a silent sigh, relaxing slightly. Looking into that garnet gaze more level-headedly, it was obvious what bothered the leech.

“You shouldn’t worry too much. Even if she knew what a beast you are, she'd still regard you as her precious saviour.”

“She is too young to understand yet.”

“But she will.”

“We’ll see.”

Zero was firmly certain of what he had said. He was sure the real reason as to why Yuki had been scared of Kaname after that day is because it came as a shock – the pureblood having tried so hard to appear human before her, negating all his more inhuman traits. He was sure if someone took the time to introduce things slowly, explaining them to her, she won’t be so shocked by the whiplash. Not counting on the pureblood’s masochistic (and somewhat contradictive) need to scare her off while wanting her close at the same time screwing with that, of course.

The two proceeded to have a silent stare-off. Although they’d both finished their drinks, they stayed still, nobody making the first move to leave. Even if the air was filled with tension, it was strangely not uncomfortable (...Zero deliberately ignored that thought right as it came up).

It was only after Cross-san called out to Kuran that the tension was broken and the vampire stood to leave. Zero sighed inwardly, standing as well to wash their cups.

He was giving his back to the door when he heard the other speak again.

“Good night, Kiryuu-kun.”

“Yeah...”, he said without turning around, “night."

When he returned to bed Zero fell unconscious immediately, sleep restless with dreams unknown. He never would have thought that night signed the first of a new, unwelcome, tradition.

Notes:

Well, that’s all for now. So? Bad? Worse? Were Zero and Kaname in character? At least a little? Or at all?? I'll accept any help here, so feel free. Really. Please.*Hemhem*

In any case, I hope I kept you at least a little company in these times of emergency and isolation. If you wanna let me know your experience I'm all ears ;) I feel like this is a good sharing and learning occasion. Or not, as you wish. Greetings from Italy in any case and let’s hope the reopening here doesn’t end up badly. In the meantime, I just took my first breath of fresh air (and bite of McDonald’s. I’m addicted, I know, but it’s just so good…) ^^

Chapter 7: Stepping Forward

Notes:

Hi guys, I'M SO SORRY to say I just realized I posted this chapter Only on Fanfiction.net... I'm really sorry, I've no excuses, this has just been a... busy and complicated year for me, like for many other people, I'm sure. Not to forget my PC completely broke down. I've lost so many files!! I'm crying. Sigh..

Well, in any case here is Chapter 7. Only…well, it's sort of a filler, sorry. I know few people like them but I feel they're necessary in a story. As a bonus, there's some Zero-Kaname interactions to hopefully make up for it! I really hope you'll like it, it's always a stress writing those two together, sigh.

As a little aside, I wanted to address here something I noticed a lot of you pointing out (I guess I should change my first chapter introduction later on but for now I'll post it here): thank you all for pointing out to me that Ren is a girl, I know I didn't really explain it before but the point is, I'm trying really hard to ignore that fact. Don't take this as me not liking a badass female hunter, for once, but she's always remained a boy in my heart. Thus, if I ever reach that point in this story, she will most probably be born as a boy. Maybe. I'm still thinking on it. The time is still far away in any case and I'm open to suggestions.

Anyway, a huge thank you as always to all those who keep leaving kudos, subscribing and reading my story and a special mention to: skidney ; FictionFanatic ; TorchPhoenix ; SakuraVixx ; MistressPeverell ; nerdynayna ; weaveryk; Thunderstorm221; AkiraDRyu; LoveNotes_V; kiba_chan; Faery66; Miya and YotsubaAyase, thank you for all your comments!

CO – VK – OD

Unfortunately, Yuuki's lessons had barely started before they had to be postponed (to the girl's not-so-secret delight).

The Hunter Association had finally given its decision. They'd consented to his request to continue training at the condition he got a suppressing seal. Thinking about it, Zero didn't know how Cross did it. Even with the seal, the agreement seemed much too lenient. It had probably something to do with him being under the man's care and posed to attend Cross Academy. Well, that and Cross' reputation of course.

Still, the Association raised a fuss about it anyway. For a week or so things became pretty chaotic and Zero had no mind to concentrate on teaching. He kept slipping into brooding moods and his nightmares returned tenfold. They'd begun to lessen in frequency (although not by much) since he'd stabilized his mind and got his focus back. Unfortunately, that progress was eliminated in one single hit.

It had started off well enough. Well, by his standards at least.

He'd had a nightmare the night after Kuran's visit, the pureblood's presence once again exacerbating them as it had the last time. It had been a most vivid dream as Zero kept turning around on his bed, fists clenched tightly against the sheets and teeth grinding together.

"Ugh..Ichi-Ichiru..."

Consciousness had come back slowly, the last scenes from his dream dissipating gradually till they became only a confused cloud of feelings and sensations. Still, the emotions remained impressed into his soul.

Zero took a moment to compose himself, consciously releasing the bed sheets and relaxing his fists. Finally, he sighed, turning to face his door.

"Are you planning to stand there all night?"

Yuuki flinched. She looked up at him from his doorstep, fidgeting slightly.

"Can...can I come in?" She asked hesitantly. "It's just that...I heard Zero-kun having a nightmare..."

Zero didn't have to wonder as to why she was so hesitant. In truth, this was not the first time they've found themselves in the same situation. Since that time she'd caught him clawing at his neck, she had been coming to his room a lot. She'd somehow realized he was having nightmares and was set to stay by his side every time, no matter what he said. It... had helped. Having someone there. It was familiar and it helped fill a bit the hole left by his Other's soul being ripped from his. At other times, however, it only brought its absence even more into evidence. So much so that it became almost unbearable.

Was that how his Other had felt when they were close together? This wanting to fill a hole inside but hurting even more when he simply couldn't. It must be, only much, much worse because they were really One. Was that why his brother couldn't help resenting him at times, even as he couldn't stop loving him? Hating him as the cause of his pain, hating he was not enough to ease it or fill the void, but loving him anyway as the only one able to lessen it and the part of Their soul he was missing. He didn't want to think about it, but he knew.

(His fault, it was all his fault, like always. He shouldn't have been born at all, but he was so grateful he got to meet his Other…but it hurt him, how could he be so selfish, egoistical, a monster…)

It had become almost routine. However, the night he and Kuran had first met, Zero had rejected Yuuki and she'd not dared to come in again since. That is not to say she didn't come at all, no, she simply remained behind the door while Zero ignored her, acting like he didn't know. It hadn't happened too often, about two times or so. It wasn't that he was still angry or disgusted or whatever either, he just didn't want to deal with it. Mostly, he didn't know if he wanted to be reminded of Ichiru's absence so starkly in those moments. That night, however, he gave in. He knew she wouldn't stop even if he never invited her in again, so he finally tagged it as a pointless endeavour and gave up.

(He knew helping him helped her deal with her own troubled nights but it had nothing to do with that at all; and if a part of him didn't want her to stay there in the dark all night, alone, after a nightmare, he just pushed it down. It was neither here nor there, after all)

Giving her his back once again, Zero scooted aside on the bed, making space.

"Come on."

Her uncertain, embarrassed face immediately turned into a bright and warm smile at that and she ran towards him, nodding.

"Hun."

Settling on the bed, she immediately started patting his head again.

"There, there," she said softly, "It's all right now."

Zero snorted lightly at her words but didn't dislodge her hand and simply let her warmth envelop his pain. They remained like that for a little while before Yuuki seemingly got the courage to say more.

"Ne, Zero-kun"

"Hn?"

"Who is...Ichiru?"

As soon as the name left her lips, Zero's body went completely stiff, any trace of sleepiness he'd regained evaporating instantly.

"Wh-"

Feeling his change, Yuuki baked off immediately and hurried to speak up. Her fingers nervously twirling together as her downcast eyes adverted.

"S-sorry, it must be a painful memory. It's just that I heard you say it in your nightmares a few times...but Zero-kun doesn't need to answer. It must be a painful memory..."

Zero kept his silence a few more seconds before setting his shoulders and hardening his mind as if preparing himself for battle.

"He is...was my twin."

"Ah! Zero-kun has a twin?"

He nodded mutedly.

"Then, why...?" she asked before gasping softly, a terrible thought occurring to her.

"Did something happened to him during the attack?" her tone was incredibly sad.

"...Yes. We cannot be together anymore, right now."

"Z-Zero-kuwn..."

Surprised at the trembling in her voice, he turned around before snorting mockingly.

"Stupid, why are you crying?" he muttered before placing a hand on her head, gently lowering it so as to hide her face. It had been the same last time as well, when she'd caught him clawing at his neck. Why does she cry? He'll just make sure she won't see him next time – had been his thoughts then.

"You look ugly when you cry"

"Wha- Zero-kun, that's m-mean!" retorted Yuuki, trying to raise her head again even as Zero kept pushing it down, a mock ignorant expression on his still deadpan face.

"Zero-kuun!"

"Baka. I told you, you can drop the '-kun' with my name."

She stopped at that, startled, before smiling softly as Zero's hand dropped softly from her head.

"Hun. Zero."

The two spent the night like that, Yuuki patting his head and Zero dragging her down to sleep after she became sleepy. It's how they'd always ended up after the first time. Zero on the side and Yuuki at his back, huddled close. It was the reason why those nights were both soothing...and almost torture to Zero – it was just so similar, but could never be the same. Nothing could replace his Other. It had a different feeling to it as well...it was less deep (of course it was less deep, how could it ever reach the depths his Other and him shared? There was only a true One, after all, two halves) but...almost like what he'd imagined having another sister felt like.

I

I

The next afternoon, Zero began teaching Yuuki a few things about vampires and hunters. It wasn't much, just the basics, to give her a general overview of their world. It was as she was taking down her notes that it happened.

"Ah..!"

Zero heard Yuuki's cry but didn't move at all. He remained completely still, too distracted by the smell permeating the air: Blood.

"Mou, I got a papercut..."

Suddenly, his throat started to itch again, then to burn. It was now the second time he felt like this, but it was still so strange...it was like hunger, but thirst at the same time. The proof he was not human…not anymore.

Yuuki was still saying something at that point but Zero remained lost in thoughts. It wasn't any less fierce than the first time but now at least he knew what to expect. It was easier to force it down. Still...he suddenly remembered one thing: In the manga, Yuuki's blood, even as a human, smelt incredibly good to vampires. It was the reason she kept being targeted even by the random vampire next street.

"Yuuki."

The girl stopped suddenly at his voice, looking up at him from where she was sucking on her cut finger.

"Hu?"

"Go to the Chairman and let him bandage your finger."

"Wha-? But Zero, it's only a papercut, it doesn't..."

"Yuuki," he interrupted again. "Listen to me. I'll...explain it later. Please go," he added when he saw her still hesitating.

She looked at him stunned for a little while, trying to read his face. Zero didn't know what it was that convinced her, whether his tone of voice, his words, or his tense body and avoiding aura but in the end, she put on her own serious expression and nodded.

"Ok, I'll go. Are you...are you okay, Zero?"

"I'll be fine, baka. Just go."

She looked at him, a little unsurely still, before seemingly gaining determination and nodding firmly.

Even after she was gone, Zero remained exactly as he was. His expression, however, distorted into a slight grimace. A pale hand rose to his throat while the other went to his chest, clutching. It was only some drops of blood. How could he react in this way just from that? Sure, it wasn't too much, not really, but the feeling was just strange. Too strange (Not human). He was sure he could stop himself without a problem (For now, but for how long? Must resist, won't give up, not human, no, no, useless, weak, a monster, only instincts and blood...a beast in human skin...) but he did not want to take any risks. Sure, canon! Zero was probably unable to stop himself with Yuuki due to various outside circumstances (like his love, making her blood seem the only thing to quench his thirst) but why gamble on such things? He had no romantic feelings for her but this was just another confirmation that his slow descent from sanity had begun.

The pale hand clenched on its own around his neck, the self-hatred inside him growing as he tried once again to tear the filth out of his body. He could feel it, the itch, the venom flowing through his veins. Could feel the fangs of that pureblood invading his skin and tearing it. Tearing at his very being and life along with it – tainting him forever.

(Can't get away, can't take it out of me... Inside, it's inside! Must tear it out, tear it apart, make it go away. Won't go...why won't it come out? Why?! Monster, beast, filth, forever. It's in the blood now, want to tear it out, tear it out, want to tear it all apart...)

That same day, he spoke with Cross.

"Kiryuu-kun..."

The Chairman stood by the door, looking on at the lonely boy inside. He sat with his head pressed tightly against the table, deceptively delicate hands clenched tightly at each side. Blood covered his neck and hand while books and papers laid scattered on the ground, still where he'd thrown them earlier in his fit of frustration and self-hatred.

"Chairman. I want to become stronger...so that I won't lose again, against anyone and myself. I don't want to lose someone else because I was too weak." His voice was low, barely a whisper, but it shone with purpose.

The Chairman didn't say much, not wasting words. He just slowly walked in and put his hand on Zero's head.

"Don't worry, Zero-kun. Things will work out."

Zero did not look back at him nor said anything else, but for once he didn't push the hand away. It was...soothing, the man's presence, when he was like this. It was a completely different feeling from his usual self. And... his hand felt warm.

It was a few days later the Association finally gave word back. Officially at least. Zero had no doubt many things had been said without them reaching his ears. The Chairman was really protective of his charges, he'd found out. In any case, Zero didn't know what the man did, but it was obvious he'd put some pressure on them after their last chat. Thus, Yuki's new class was put on hold and Zero spent his waiting days stressing out and trying not to show it. His brooding must have reached critical levels at that point but he tried to drown it out in training. Obviously, his nightmares spiked as well, not wanting to lose out on the fun or to be outdone. Yuki ended up spending a lot of nights in his bed once again.

"Ne, Zero..." she said one time while petting his hair, breaking the silence.

An inquisitive hum was her reply.

"Did something happen? S-sorry, it's just...Zero's nightmares have become worse again..."

Zero 'hn-ned' stiffly at that, body turning rigid.

"It's nothing."

"Oh..."

He sighed inwardly at her dejected reply, deflating slightly.

"Some things came up that made me think. I'll tell you about them later, maybe."

"It's okay, Zero doesn't have to tell me..."

"No, it would have come up anyway. But not...not now."

"Hn," she nodded, a warm, soothing smile on her lips. "Then I'll wait."

The silence came back after that and it continued till Zero pulled down a sleepy Yuuki as they managed to fall back asleep.

l

O

l

Zero walked through the Hunter Association's Headquarters for the first time. Their parents had never brought either him or Ichiru there, probably waiting for the time of their Initiations. He'd thought about it at times, how it would be, but whatever he'd imagined for his first visit it certainly wasn't that. He stood rigidly beside the Chairman, back straight and body tense, ready for action at any moment. The other hunters had all looked at them as they passed by. Some murmuring to each other, others simply staring, while others still were watching him with assessing, cold eyes, looking ready to kill at the slightest slip-up.

(Could they sense it, yet? What he had become? Was it already that strong? Was it written on him? No, impossible, it can't be – but they know already. Everybody has heard of his shame…of the beast inside of him...)

It made him incredibly tense, his instincts screaming danger at him. Still, he forced himself to stay impassive, back straight and head held high, not watching anybody back. He'll show them – he was not afraid. He won't be so easily intimidated. They could watch and wait all they wanted. If he stood closer to Cross than normal, then it was just a coincidence and there was no need to bring it up.

They had been met with an unknown woman at the entrance. She'd led them to an empty room before turning right back and biding her goodbyes. She'd been silent the entire journey, only replying curtly to the Chairman's many attempts at conversation. Then, she left as stiffly as she had come, never once looking at him. Now they were stood in said empty room, waiting. Looking around, it appeared to be an office of some kind, a study, with a blue, scrapped door leading somewhere else. Bookshelves and papers were scattered all around, along with strange trinkets.

They didn't have to wait long before the blue door opened. It let in a tall, fit, man with honey hair, a scruffy beard and a white stick between his lips. He appeared rather untidy, his clothes unkempt and strange goggles messing up his hair. Rather absent-minded as well, casually closing the door and looking up. The man stilled briefly, slightly startled at seeing them there, but soon composed himself as an unaffected air came back around him.

"Well, I was expecting you on Monday."

The Chairman, who had brightened up at seeing the other man coming in, took the moment to speak up.

"Well then it's rather fortunate that it is Monday, Hisagawa-san!" he said rather cheerfully.

The blonde man simply hummed, unfazed.

"Is that so? My bad then."

Coffee brown eyes looked slightly down at Zero then, assessing him for a few scant moments, before moving on.

"Well then, come on in."

Without waiting for a reply, the man simply reopened the blue door and disappeared back inside, leaving it open for them. Zero looked at the Chairman, half in question, half in bewilderment, but the other just gave him a cheery smile. He patted his shoulder lightly before pushing him on.

"Well, let's go in then, Kiryuu-kun."

Inside, the room was just as messy as the previous one but with various smells permeating the air. Among them, Zero could detect disinfectant, herbs, a strange incense and... something burnt. There wasn't much around, just a desk, a few shelves and small tables with various strange objects on them and a reclining chair. If Zero hadn't known all he'll be getting was a tattoo he'd have started to worry. They settled in as the blonde man leaned back against the desk, arms supporting him. When he spoke up again, he was looking straight at Zero.

"So this is the kid, huh," he said while absentmindedly rolling the stick between his teeth.

Zero didn't reply, just staring right back at him, deep lilac eyes refusing to show any discomfort.

The man snorted at that. "Che, I thought you'd be cuter."

The Chairman laughed.

"Ma, maa Hisagawa-kun, you haven't changed at all it seems."

The blonde turned to him then, giving Cross a scrutinizing look.

"You haven't either old man."

"Of course, of course," twittered Cross. He then clasped his hands on Zero's shoulders and pushed him before himself, making the boy look extremely irritated.

"So, as you have already guessed, this is my cute new son, Kiryuu Zero. Zero-kun, this is an old acquaintance of mine, Hisagawa Ren. He'll be the one giving you your seal today."

"I see," Zero said, voice sombre as he determinedly ignored the superfluous parts of that speech. "I'll be in your care then."

The blonde, Hisagawa, looked at him a few more moments before tsk'ing again and muttering to himself. "So un-cute."

Pushing himself back to his feet, the man turned around towards his desk before pointing at the chair with his head.

"Well, hop on there then, kid."

Receiving the Chairman's assuring smile, Zero started walking forward while the blonde rummaged about with a few things.

"Do you know what a suppressing seal is, kid?"

"The suppressing or binding seal. Used in conjunction with another charm it can effectively 'tame' or suppress vampires, making them easier to control or kill."

The man huffed at his reply, before nodding.

"Right, brat. Although it's not its original purpose, it's also been used to help suppress the vampiric side of some newly turned humans." The man went on to explain, turning around again with findings in hand.

"It's something rather tricky in truth, and it's not guaranteed to work. Only some people know how to implement it for that purpose and it's up to the person getting it how useful it will be. The Association doesn't often feel it worth the trouble, now especially more so seeing your age, but your guardian convinced them you could do it."

Zero paused at that, lavender eyes going to the Chairman in surprise. He had not known that. Sure, he'd wondered why it wasn't used more often if it worked so well, at least on the hunters if not on normal humans. He hadn't even found any mentions of this particular function of the seal on the books he'd searched. Still, he hadn't been expecting that.

"Of course," exclaimed Cross. "Zero-kun can do it, I have no doubt."

Warmth filled Zero's chest at the man's words, even as fear of failing filled in right after.

"We'll see," was all the man said. "He certainly looks stubborn enough."

The Chairman nodded along repetitively.

"Right? Right? He is so stubborn and headstrong, the stubbornest little boy ever. You know he even refuses to let me enter my own kitchen?"

Zero sweat-dropped at that, the warmth fleeing instantly and getting replaced by irritation. Was that so. And was 'stubbornest' even a word?

"What blasphemy." The man deadpanned. The Chairman didn't appear to catch onto his sarcasm, however, as he nodded even more vigorously.

"Yes, yes, exactly! He's such a stubborn, naughty child, I'm sure the seal will work, no problem."

Zero sweatdropped again. 'I see...'

"Well, whatever. Now brat. Where do you want it?"

"I can choose?" The boy startled slightly at that, not having been aware of that possibility.

The blonde nodded, preparing his tools even as he kept speaking.

"Sure you can. However, the closer to the bite you get it the better it will work. Theoretically, at least."

Zero nodded absentmindedly. It made sense. The bite was the origin of the cursed venom and transformation after all. If the seal was meant to bind that, the closer to the source the better, even metaphorically. His finger clenched slightly at the thought of having something at his neck, having someone he didn't know so close, touching it even. Nevertheless, it may be for the best. Maybe it would cancel out the sensation of Her teeth sinking in, stealing his blood and humanity away. Besides, he couldn't really afford to do otherwise. If that was the best option, that's what he'll choose. He couldn't afford any risk just to save his frail sensibilities.

"The neck." He said stiffly. "Left side." His eyes adverted then, as he couldn't help feeling ashamed and vulnerable under the other's intent gaze. "That's where She..."

The blonde watched him trail off, observing. Then he tch'ed before concentrating on his tools once again. "Good. Brat."

The next few seconds were spent in silence as Hisegawa finished whatever preparations he needed. Zero just kept looking down to the side, lost in thoughts, while the Chairman observed the situation, mood strangely sombre for once. The boy was startled out of his brooding when a warm, calloused hand laid gently on his head, softly ruffling his hair. Startled lilac eyes looked up to Hisagawa's face. The man wasn't looking back at him, eyes fixed on his tools and expression as uncaring and laidback as before. Yet, his hand was extremely gentle and caring.

"Well, brat, let's begin. I warn you, it's going to hurt, but it shouldn't take too long. I'm the best at my job, after all. Your guardian didn't accept anyone else."

"Well, of course!" chirped in the Chairman.

Widened lavender orbs watched the other man's profile as he worked, still a little startled. Then, their words finally registered and Zero felt the wave of warmth come crashing back. His ears reddened slightly as the Chairman smiled gently from his side.

"Hn."

They got to work after that. Well, Hisagawa got to work while Zero worked on staying perfectly still and the Chairman watched on. The blonde took the time to explain everything to him as he worked, letting him know whenever he was about to do something. His voice was rather monotonous but still warm somehow, and it had a soothing effect on Zero. Turns out, getting a seal was not like getting a tattoo at all. It was like using any other seal, albeit one of those more complex ones.

Unlike the simpler ones, this one required a small ritual of sorts. Nothing much, just some precisely prepared ingredients and a few mixings. It looked a bit like alchemy, truth be told. After that, the one doing the sealing had to place their hand over the designated area. The seal will then appear under them before compressing and crystalizing till it got impressed under the subject's skin. It was like no other tattoo in that no matter how cut or scratched it got, it will simply reform, becoming part of the skin itself. The only way to remove it was through an unsealing ceremony, although no one had yet to undergo this specific one.

Zero was drenched in sweat by the time they finished and completely drained. It had been incredibly painful feeling the seal compress into his skin, impressing itself onto his being with what felt like eternal slowness. The longer it pressed the more painful it became. Hisagawa was sweating lightly as well, having had to exert his force to press the seal forward and into Zero, but nothing too noticeable. In truth, it took only a few minutes.

"We're done kid."

Zero let out a shaky breath as the blonde leaned back, trying to shake off the lingering images still flashing under his eyelids. It had been a completely different sensation in truth, but the feeling of invasiveness and oppression had brought back flashbacks of That Night.

A soft pressure on his head startled him out of his thoughts. He turned around, facing the blonde's back even as he continued to put everything in order with his other hand.

"You did good."

Zero's breath hitched slightly at those words before nodding. He cleared his throat as the hand left his head, trying to regain his stability.

"It went well?"

The man nodded as well. "You're free to go."

"Come on up now Zero-kun. How are you feeling?" asked the Chairman at that point as he helped the boy sit up. The man had remained by his side the whole time, standing as close as the sealing process allowed. A comforting presence for his then addled mind. Zero allowed himself a moment of weakness, clenching the other's hand tightly in his own as he stood up, before letting go.

"I'm fine…I think."

"Do you feel any changes?"

"I…" he furrowed his brows, thinking deeply. "I think…the vampiric instincts moved a little to the background. They had been…slowly emerging before."

The Chairman nodded, satisfied. "Good, good."

"You should feel them start to recede even more as the days pass, but it's up to you how far back and for how long they'll stay there kid," interjected Hisagawa.

Zero nodded in understanding, his lilac eyes flashing with soul-deep determination and purpose. "I won't let them overpower me so easily."

Isayaki looked at him for a moment before snorting and ruffling his hair again, roughly this time, pushing his head down.

"Not cute at all."

"W-wha!"

The Chairman let out a mutated giggle-snort of some sort at that, probably caught off guard, while Zero huffed in indignation. What a rude man. And what was it with the strange fascination everyone suddenly had for his hair?

If his shoulders relaxed and his lips lifted slightly after that, no one mentioned it.

l

l

They returned home right after, Isekaya immediately throwing them out of his office. Somehow, on the way back Zero felt like the stares of the other hunters didn't touch him at all (not that they touched him before, of course. No, not at all. Who said that?).

When they returned home, Yuuki was waiting along with Mrs. Momoyama, working together.

"Ah, the Chairman and Zero are back."

As soon as she saw the two males coming in Yuuki brightened immediately, running towards them.

"Welcome hoome!" she exclaimed happily. Her steps suddenly halted however as her eyes fell on Zero's neck.

"Aah!" Eyes crossing, the little girl flashed up to him. Shaking arms raised weakly towards Zero, seemingly having lost all life force before in a flash they harshly grabbed his coat and shook him with all their strength.

"Zeroo…! What did you come back with?! That…on your neck…wha…wha…"

Her eyes swirled with confusion and shock and her face was completely slackened. She couldn't even manage to articulate her words and finally stopped shaking him. Zero, who had kept a devil may care expression on all this time, finally got the chance to answer.

"What, you ask." He deadpanned, "it's a tattoo, of course"

"Wha-why…?"

Probably seeing Yuuki's devastated expression and Zero's unhelpful attitude, the Chairman tried stepping in without much success.

"Calm down Yuuki, it's like a charm," he tried to placate.

His words, however, went completely ignored as rivers of tears started flowing almost comically from Yuuki's eyes.

"Zero is becoming a delinquent…"

Still wearing a deadpan expression, Zero let out a mocking breath.

"Heh…calling me a delinquent for this thing, are you stupid?" he asked, looking to the side.

"But this is gonna cause an uproar at school…" she lamented, still ignoring the Chairman, who had apparently given up on them at that point and began talking with Mrs. Momoyama.

"Then it's a good thing I'm not going," replied Zero uncaringly, ignoring the Chairman as well.

"Eh…but that's…"

"Yuuki." He interrupted her, his tone becoming more serious.

She straightened as well in reply, feeling his change in mood.

"Ye-yes!?"

"Let it go for now. I'll…tell you about it later."

"Ah…un." She nodded uncertainly, eyes turning more serious. "I'm sorry Zero, I won't ask anymore."

Zero looked at her from the corner of his eyes, head still adverted.

"I…"

He stopped then, lips thinning. Cross, who had finished speaking with the other woman, came up to him at that moment, covering his head with his hand.

"Zero, it's okay…you don't have to talk about it now…"

Head lowered, Zero nodded, still not looking Yuuki or anyone else in the eyes. Smiling gently, the Chairman began to lead him away.

"Come with me. Come to this room." He said to the boy, before turning around and telling Yuuki to "do your homework" with mock seriousness.

The girl nodded, expression still worried as she watched the two of them leave, standing alone in the hall.

"…okay…"

l

l

Zero stood with his shoulders to the door, listening as the Chairman closed it and walked towards him. He said nothing, even as he felt him stop just behind him.

"Zero…" the Chairman said after a while, hand pushing his glasses up. He was using his serious tone again. It seemed to Zero he'd heard that tone almost more often since he came here than all the times in the anime. The man seemed to want to say something more before closing his mouth and apparently deciding on something else. "Have you really made up your mind?"

Zero said nothing for a while longer, hands clenching as he tried to reorganize his chaotic mind.

"She has the right to know," he said finally, voice flat and hollow. "Even if I don't want this knowledge to hurt her or make her scared of me…she has a right to know, to choose by herself. No matter how much I'll deny it, no matter for how long I'll manage to suppress it, sooner or later the monster under my skin will take over." The scenes from the anime flashed through his eyes then, of that Zero mercilessly biting through Yuuki's neck, lost in a fit of hunger, prey to his own instincts.

(No, not his own, the monster under his skin's. He's not a monster, he's not…not yet…)

He clenched his fists harder then, nails biting through the skin in a mockery of a vampire's kiss. A drop of blood fell to the floor.

"If she's not aware of it, when that time comes, I may hurt her without being able to restrain myself. She won't even know to defend herself."

A big, warm hand fell on his head then, sending a shook through his body and stopping the shaking he hadn't even been aware of till then.

"You're really a strong boy, Zero-kun, more than me it seems like. Don't worry, she won't leave you and I'm sure you're strong enough to overcome this hurdle as well. Let us help."

Once again, Zero did not shake the hand off his head, nor did he move at all. He remained still as he'd been before, giving his shoulders to the man behind him. He did not say anything even as those thin shoulders started to shake again. The blood kept dripping down his hands, replacing the tears he refused to let fall.

O

Zero did not pay attention to the passing of time. He'd left the Chairman after calming down a bit, but not before the man had time to say some unnecessary things and to try glomping him ("What a mature little guy my Zero-kun is. Isn't my son just the cutest? Come, come to Daddy!"). It seemed like the serious! Mode had a time limit after all. (He'd probably done it on purpose, to make him angry and cranky instead of depressed and embarrassed. Not that Zero cared, not at all. He was just a crazy old man).

In any case, Zero had stormed out of the room after that and went directly to his own, throwing himself on his bed. It didn't take long before his mind became too full again, however. To the point he finally gave up and headed to the kitchen once more. It didn't happen so often these nights, what with Yuuki being there, but sometimes he still couldn't help it. He'd just overlooked one little detail about that night. Or better, he'd innocently thought that, for once, He would leave him alone. How naïve of him, retrospectively speaking. Zero hadn't even sat down to drink when he felt His presence at the kitchen door. He tried ignoring it, trying to grasp at his safety with all his strength, but it turned out to be a useless endeavor.

Sighing in frustration, he moved to take another cup beside his own.

"Kuran. Shouldn't you be with Yuuki?"

"She's asleep. Apparently, she tired herself out worrying over you and the Chairman."

"Then why are you here?" he asked even though he knew perfectly well why. He wondered whether canon! Zero had so many nightly confrontations with Kuran as well. He didn't think so but one could never know what happened off-screen. Somehow, however, he doubted it was over a shared cup of cocoa.

"I heard from the Chairman you got a suppressing seal today."

"Yes, I did."

"Yuuki was pretty troubled you two were hiding something from her."

Zero hummed.

"I see you haven't yet told her the truth as you've claimed."

Finally, Zero turned around, slamming Kuran's cocoa cup on the table before taking his own and sitting down. He exhaled deeply through his nose as he took a sip, ignoring his burning tongue as he tried to calm down.

"Kuran, it's already late and today really is not a good day. I'd really appreciate it if you would kindly shut up for once." He uttered darkly in the end.

"How scary…Someone is irritable today."

Zero breathed deeply through his nose even as from the corner of his eyes he saw Kuran picking up his cup. The move was just as smooth and elegant as all his others but it somehow appeared gingerly in Zero's eyes. The pureblood held the cup in his hands, staring down into it.

"I know what I've said about Yuuki and I intend to stick to it. I was just…sidetracked. As I've said, it's been a long day and I'm too tired to deal with you."

Still not directly looking at him, Zero saw the pureblood take a sip from the cup, once again doing that weird, tasting motion with his tongue.

"Is that so… Did you cry?"

Zero tensed, hands unconsciously turning back into fists.

"Of course not, and it's none of your business anyway." He growled, burying his face into his own cup and trying to hide his burning ears with his hair.

The pureblood hummed then, the sound somehow still incredibly elegant, but where it was meant to portray compassion and curiosity on the outside, Zero still clearly heard the mocking hiding under it.

"Is that so. I thought I smelt tears earlier."

Zero tsk'ed inwardly, face still buried inside his cup even as his irritation grew. Fucking master leach nose. He'd barely even let a tear fall!

"It must have been Yuuki, then. She's always crying about something after all."

The next move was so fast he couldn't even react. The pureblood had moved beside him, taking his hands into one of his own, while at the same time settling down the cocoa cup he'd let fall with the other.

"How strange, I could swear I smelt blood as well," he said, garnet eyes looking intently into lavender ones even as his hand created a vice-like grip on the boy's thin wrists.

Zero stilled for a second, taken aback by the sudden movement, before defiantly looking up and glaring straight back into those red, red eyes.

"What do you want, Kuran?"

The pureblood didn't reply, still busy looking at him. Zero didn't know what he could be looking for, but he wasn't about to let that leech get anything but hatred from him. He began tugging at his arms then, trying to get free. The pureblood's strength was like having metal shackles around his wrists, however, and didn't even seem to exert himself holding him. Yet again, he could do nothing. Zero glared fiercely, trying to set the vampire on fire through his heated gaze alone. He kept struggling with even more strength, uncaring of the pain.

"Let go," he demanded darkly. He refused to let the helplessness affect him or to let the pureblood see it. He won't let him win whatever sick game he was playing now.

The pureblood completely ignored his words, still watching him intently as he held him without any effort. After a moment, however, he finally leaned back and brought his tightly clasped wrists to his mouth.

"Now Zero, didn't your parents tell you it's not wise to bleed before a predator?" asked that silky voice, which did nothing to mask the smug and mocking tone underneath.

Zero startled again. He hadn't even noticed he'd been bleeding up to that point. Was bleeding, still. Distantly, he wondered when that had started…the pain of clawing through his flesh had become such a common sensation and instinctual motion he didn't even notice it anymore. Most of his attention was however on the boy – the beast – in front of him. He couldn't help the flash of fear passing through him as he watched that mouth so close to his wrists. The thought of another vampire, another pureblood sinking their fangs in him once again, tainting him even more with their poison, sent panic through him. Especially that day, as the images of That Night were brought closer than usual to his thoughts.

Almost instinctually, he clenched his hands even harder, the blood flowing down even more freely as he tried to let the pain wake him from his stupor. He couldn't afford to let the fear cloud his mind. The leech would only smell it and use it to his twisted gains. The hatred in his eyes intensified even more.

"Why, can't resist your instincts, beast?" he mocked back.

"As if I would ever drink such blood," was the other's mocking reply.

The two remained locked into a mental war, their gazes clashing for a long, intense instant, blazing with hate before Zero deflated on himself. He took another deep breath, closing his eyes as he did so. Now that he paid attention, the smell of blood invaded his senses as well. His nose twitched. What a disgusting smell, he wondered how he'd ignored it till then.

"Let go, Kuran," he said again, wearily.

"I wonder, why should I?" came the reply even as the pureblood studied him once again.

"I'm serious, if you want to fight we can do it another time. I'm too tired tonight"

"You appear always tired when we talk lately, Kiryuu-kun."

The comment was said the same as all the others but this time Zero could sense a pinch of thoughtful curiosity from it as well. He threw a side look at the vampire before him, meeting that garnet gaze straight on.

"Maybe it's you who makes me tired," he mocked but like for the pureblood's, the comment lacked any real bite.

A trace of dark mirth flashed through the pureblood's eyes at that before disappearing the next instant.

"I'll keep that in mind."

The two fell into a strange silence, then, the vampire having yet to let go of Zero's hands.

"Do you really want to drink my blood?" the boy asked then with a flat expression. "I know it must smell better than a normal human's but I doubt your pureblood sensibilities would really allow you to drink it."

Kuran hummed delicately, looking down at the blood now covering both of their hands. Zero's fists had slackened but his healing factor wasn't so fast as to heal them immediately.

"It does smell better than a human's, and not like a normal level D's. Hunter's blood always had a strange appeal to vampires," he admitted, surprising Zero. He doubted canon! Kuran would ever tell canon! Zero that. Was it simply because he behaved differently? Or was a younger Kaname more open? But that made no sense, Kaname wasn't really as young as he looked. Was it really due to his different reactions then? He did remember a younger Kaname being a bit more carefree, even laughing freely once, but why now and with him? These questions made his head spin a bit.

Zero watched the pureblood's intent gaze deepen in dark thoughts. For a moment, he swore he could sense a deep, deep sadness inside the brunet's eyes as they locked on the blood flowing down their hands. He wondered whether he was thinking about Her. Then, the pureblood brought up his wrists once more, fangs lowered as they hovered over them.

"Aren't you scared I might bite you, Kiryuu-kun?"

Strangely, this time, looking into those deep and dark garnet eyes, his heart remained completely calm. He would have thought he'd be scared or get flashbacks from That Woman again at seeing his fangs so close. Somehow, however, he didn't. Perhaps it was because their eyes were so different at that moment, even if they were the same color – even though he knew who the one behind that attack had been in the first place; even though he knew which pureblood was the most dangerous among them all. Perhaps it was because he knew Kuran really wouldn't lower himself to bite a Level E unless he wanted to torment him; perhaps it was because, for the first time, those eyes didn't appear at all mocking to him. In any case, he really didn't know what prompted his next words. Probably all of the above, probably nothing at all.

"Do you want to drink it?"

They both stilled at that, surprised. Kuran's hands tightened slightly around his own as his eyes zeroed on him.

Zero's own eyes widened slightly but he immediately calmed down, indifferent. What did it matter anyway? He was already tainted because of him. He'd already left an indelible mark inside of him. Besides, he knew for certain that Kuran would not bite him. Normally, he'd never give him the chance to get close anyway, not wanting to give the bastard who ruined his life anything at all. But that night he was just so tired…he was emotionally exhausted, completely spent from not only the happenings of the day but of the entire week of tension and stress and brooding and worrying. And…those eyes had been so sad and lonely…it had caught him off guard, it's all.

In short, he pled temporary insanity. The pureblood had really caught him at the wrong moment it seemed, right when he'd meant to de-stress and let go, lowering his guard. He just couldn't give a shit anymore right then. Maybe tomorrow, yes tomorrow he'll get angry again. Incensed at himself most likely.

Kuran had been looking into his eyes as he thought but Zero still had no idea what the other was searching for. After a while, the brunet turned back towards his hands, loosening his hold even as he delicately raised them towards his mouth. Slowly, he started licking the blood which had flowed down his wrists. Although it had seemed like an hour had passed to Zero, in truth it had only been a few seconds, less than a minute, and his blood was still fresh and red.

The boy watched with disconnected eyes as the pureblood licked along his arms and wrists before finally reaching his palms. He delicately liked along the deep indents left by his nails before moving on to each single finger. It was all a very efficient and graceful-looking process despite the content, and even if it was a leech licking his blood, Zero could not help but think of a cat lapping at milk right then. After quickly but carefully licking all the blood on the boy's hands, Kuran started on cleaning his own. It was…really a strange sight. It left Zero both disgusted and fascinated at how someone could make drinking blood look so elegant. Probably a feat only a master leech could accomplish.

"Well, thank you for the meal then, I imagine." Said Kaname as he finished licking his hands and picked up a napkin to clean off. "Nevertheless, you should be more careful with yourself Kiryuu-kun. Especially if you want to go out on missions, the smell of blood could alert your prey."

Zero looked down at his hands then and saw the small cuts left on his hands had been completely healed up. He vaguely remembered at that point that master leeches had curative powers in their saliva.

"Thank you as well, I guess. And don't worry, I can do my job even without your input." ('Or I will, at least,' he didn't add).

"Just an equal exchange, and I will have to see then."

Zero tsk'ed at that, his irritation starting to come back up as his spirit had recovered a bit.

"Worry about yourself, instead. Did your jealousy cool off yet?" He asked suddenly, finally saying what he'd been thinking since he sensed how cranky and malicious the pureblood's aura felt that night. Not even the other time had been like this, and back then he'd been angry about him telling Yuuki things she 'shouldn't know'.

Zero knew he was right without the other's input and didn't really expect a reply at all. He just threw the question out to irritate him back. However, the pureblood surprised him yet again that night as he replied honestly once more. 'Did he drink something strange tonight?' Zero wondered as he looked at their cocoa cups suspiciously. Did he drug the two of them by accident while preparing them? It would certainly explain his behavior as well.

"It was…unexpected. It's the first time I ever heard Yuuki talk like that about someone else. It was highly unpleasant and it caught me…off guard."

The pureblood's face and tone were even more even and calm than usual but the crack forming on the window and the overwhelming pressure of his aura belied the chaotic feelings that must be brewing inside. Zero recovered after a second and simply sipped at his own cocoa cup while the other talked. Even if something strange was in it, they'd both already drunk it anyway. Besides, could normal things affect purebloods? Or was he like a Vulcan? Did chocolate get him drunk? Zero carefully set aside that thought.

"Hm…yes, you must not have thought it'd be so unbearable when making up your mind, right?" he said in a somewhat dark, mocking tone. After all, it was by the pureblood's own design he ended up living with the Chairman, and thus Yuuki. Jealousy was really a high price to pay for it, he really pitied him at that moment (please note the sarcasm).

Kuran looked at him sharply at that, but seemingly shock the thought from his mind after a while.

"No, not unbearable. Nothing really is…" 'to reach my purpose' went unsaid but they both heard it. For a moment, when the brunet said those words, Zero caught a glimpse of a terrible, dark void inside of him.

"Well, you'll be happy to know I have no intention to see her, nor anyone else, in a romantic way. This life of mine is for a purpose only. Oh, and by the way, you should pay back the Chairman for that window."

Kuran looked sharply at him once again before letting out a breath against his will and finally calming down. It sounded a strange mix between exasperation and irritation, with a hidden veil of amusement.

"I see. I'll make sure the window is changed by tomorrow morning. You have not to worry, Bossy-san"

Zero tsk'ed at that comment, but let it go. A strangely companionable silence fell between them then and the two went on to sip at their own drinks, each letting their thoughts take over.

Zero would never admit it at the pain of death but it was…comfortable, to have a silent presence there when his darkest thoughts engulfed him. He briefly wondered if the other felt the same, before shaking the thought from his mind. Who cared what that leech felt? Certainly not him. Still, the pureblood had been pretty strange that night. He wondered what was going on with him. Did he feel suspicious of his behavior? One thing was for sure, he knew he must not tell the other the real purpose of his life. He'd be capable of killing his Other just to get his own plans secure. Still, the leech was just so infuriating he couldn't help teasing him with what he knew at times…

That night went on like that, the two figures sitting in the darkened kitchen in silent thoughts. Each nursing a cup of cocoa. Although they didn't say anything, they both agreed that what had transpired in there would not follow them the next time they met. After all, they weren't friends and they hated each other. There was no need for companionship between enemies.

Like the last time, Zero went to sleep right after Kaname left (The pureblood once again conveniently forgetting to wash his own cup). His sleep was dreamless for once.

CO – VK – OD

Notes:

Well, that's it. What do you say? Anything you'd like to point out? As always, I'm completely open to (constructive) critics and suggestions. No, more like, please do. What you have pointed out to me so far har really been helpful.

Just for the sake of clarity, I'd like to point out once more that THIS IS NOT a Zero/Yuuki or Kaname/Yuuki story, although some one-sided complications or whatever will probably arise.