Chapter Text
The thought of wanting Mads formed in Dancy's head for the first time after another cast meeting, which Fuller used to schedule twice a month. They were sitting in a small meeting room, which they used to rent every second and fourth wednesday of the month, behind an oval-shaped desk covered with papers of their scenarios, contracts, notebooks and pens. The main cast of their film crew participated and after two hours of talking and arguing the narrow room resembled a fuggy hell. Hugh emptied his bottle of water a long time ago and glanced at Mads' still unopened bottle with envy. The man sat almost opposite of him, just beside the producer. Everything seemed to be as usual...
"We still haven't settled on which change in the relationship between Will and Hannibal the audience can look forward to.“ Bryan didn't look as worn out and tired as the rest of the cast at all. Maybe Mikkelsen also looked a bit more refreshed, but this could be explained by some sort of distance and unusual quietness of the Dane. He almost didn't participate in the debates today.
"Let's just make them marry each other“, the screenwriter Jeff chuckled, "THAT will be a change of events!“
Hugh could only force himself to a wry smile, whereas Mads didn't seem to listen at all. He was staring at the window. “He probably wants to get out of here as well” Hugh thought.
Fuller suddenly snapped his fingers, attracting everyone's attention:
"Joking aside, shouldn't we already cross the line of this bromance?“ the executive producer gave everyone in the room a triumphant look, "since we've already decided to "merge“ the caracters Will Graham and Clarice Starling together?“
Something inside Will bumped hard. He threw a slightly scared glance at his colleague. Mads lazily looked at Bryan, like a sleepy cat.
"Will the channel allow us to introduce an uhm...unconventional relationship?“ Michael Kessler asked, not quite understanding whether Bryan was joking or not, like the rest of the room.
"You can always negotiate with the channel,“ the series' creator merrily waved off the issue, "It's more important to serve this dish correctly.“
Fuller winked at Mads.
"We will have to be careful.“ the Dane said with a calm voice. "We have to make the viewer ready for this, be in control of the whole situation. We have to handle this with care.“
Hugh felt himself blushing. They have already brushed on the subject of "an unconventional relationship between Hannibal and Will“, but earlier they were just joking around. Now they were dead serious, discussing the change of their characters' relationship on a romantic, even sexual stage. And Mads was seemingly okay with it.
"What does our fearless profiler think about this?“ Fuller turned towards Hugh. Twenty pairs of eyes stared at him. In those few seconds he had left to think, he reminisced all the movies he played in. Of course he remembered "Savage Grace“, but it wasn't quite like this back then...He didn't even have to kiss this ugly boy. Eddie Redmayne, right? Seemed like his hopes of avoiding to play a homosexual were crushed after all. Dancy glanced helplessly between the tired faces of his colleagues, stopping on Mikkelsen. The Dane looked directly at him, his dark eyes almost seeming to be black, his lips suddenly catching a glimpse of a smile.
"Why not?“ Hugh gave in to the provocation, surprising himself. Without breaking the eye contact with his colleague he added: "I think, it's very much possible to present their relationship from this point of view. I can speak for my character, at least. I can guarantee that I can play whatever you want me to show the people.“
"Mmmh, even a sex scene?“ Fuller grinned. Everyone seemed a bit noisier now, some were giggling and some mumbled silently.
Hugh felt a strange trembling inside. He wasn't used to situations like this, work has always been just work. But something has been going on with him for a while now. He knew that Fuller was just kidding but his brain emptied itself in this moment. He didn't know what to answer, how to joke in return. Everyone was chatting with each other and only Mads continued staring at him calmly, peacefully and with a glimpse of an ironic smile on his thin lips. For the first time this evening the Dane took his water bottle, opened it lazily and took a sip. Hugh swallowed with him, feeling a strange, tingling emotion inside him.
"Little Hugh isn't experienced enough for a sex scene.“ Mads turned towards Fuller with a grin.
Dancy was literally flashed. He missed the moment for a comeback, as Bryan tapped Mads' shoulder approvingly and commented something on his movie "Shake it All About“. After this their conversation changed into a more safe direction.
By the time they were allowed to go back home, Hugh already recovered from the events a bit. He still felt a bit shattered. A feeling in between melancholy and annoyance was nagging at him and he couldn't fight it. But lately he could expect any strange thing from himself: he had sudden changes of mood, either he wanted to get drunk (and he did in the bar), or he didn't leave the house for weeks during the evening, wasting his time watching stupid talk shows on TV. A small thing like an open shoelace could make him upset and he would easily get angry. For example, if they couldn't finish filming a scene by schedule. Especially if the circumstances of the delay were of a "natural“ type, meaning for example the unpredictability of the dog-actors. He rarely called Claire, and once he did, their conversations always ended with arguing and furiously hanging up. Above all, Dancy was annoyed by the ironic comments of his wife, saying "her soft husband is just constantly PMSing“. But an old friend had made a better and more fitting diagnosis: a midlife crisis.
"You can't just get over it somehow, Hugh“ this friend once said in a bar with another glass of Calsberg. "You need some kind of change, some push into the right direction. What is it you need? A new car? A house? A new job? Maybe you want to go travelling?“
Back then Hugh didn't know the answer to this question.
Or he did, he just didn't want to admit it to himself.
When Dancy was strolling back to his Saab on the parking lot after the meeting, Mads suddenly caught up with him.
"Bryan was kind of strange today“ the Dane said, lighting a cigarette.
Hugh glanced at the cigarette in his friend's hands. He himself didn't smoke. Ever. He never even tried. But now he had the unbearable urge to light one. The urge was so strong and sudden that blood rushed into the face of the Brit.
"I don't think he's serious about this“ Hugh mumbled, digging his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket. There was a stinging cold wind outside.
"Who knows“ Mads chuckled. He exhaled the bitter smoke, which was waved away by the wind directly into Dancy's face. Hugh inhaled deeply, absorbing this scent. Mads' scent.
"Although I think it wouldn't be such a bad experience for you“ Mads said out of a sudden.
Dancy almost choked. His heart was beating fast and, kind of, aching.
"Why's that?“ He asked a bit too harsh.
The Dane turned to face him.
"I noticed you are getting tense as soon as the conversation strikes Hannigram...“
"Hanni-what?“
"About the development of our characters' relationship into "more than friends“. I know you haven't had experience with those kind of...scenes. They're not frightening, but you overcome your own doubts, your inner demons, raise your own professionalism as an actor...“
"Meaning I'm not professional enough from your point of view?“ burst out of Hugh.
Mads stopped. They have just arrived at his own Toyota.
"This is what I'm talking about.“ The Dane inhaled the smoke for the last time and snapped the cigarette into a bush. "Why are these conversations always making you so furious?“
"They're not making me furious. I don't care. Work is work. I'm just really tired“ Dancy didn't know how to end this conversation more quickly. Of course Mikkelsen wasn't as good as the legendary psychoanalytic Hannibal Lecter, but he unmistakingly pointed at his weak point. Just a little bit more and Hugh would have given away that filming with Mads was getting harder for him. That his head strangely emptied itself as soon as the Dane was looking directly into his eyes. That the scent of cigarettes had become more pleasant for him than the freshly mown lawn. Or Claire's perfume. That in the morning he didn't think of the scenes he would be about to play this day but that he would be going to play them with Mikkelsen. The bromance was helping. Because Will's confusion, his suppressed attraction to doctor Lecter were partly the feelings of Dancy himself.
How to overcome this crisis? The answer was obvious. He was attracted to Mads Mikkelsen. Obsessively, as Bedelia du Maurier might say. Obsessive thoughts, obsessive images, obsessive desires...The farther, the more unbearable they became. He couldn't overcome it...
„See you tomorrow“ Hugh grumbled, shivering in the wind. Not waiting for an answer he stepped towards his Saab, which was parked a few cars away.
Today he certainly needed a sip of his whiskey before going to bed.