We Can Find Another Way

by esm3rald

Summary:

Following Jon's rejection after the feast, Daenerys finds someone who's able to comfort her, someone unexpected. A night conversation between two people who are supposed to hate each other will change a lot of things, for them and for the war. But what about Jon Snow? Where does he fit into all of this? Jon/Dany/Jaime Love Triangle.

Notes:

So, this is a crazy idea that I had and I just needed to write it. I'm a Jonerys shipper first and foremost (in fact, I usually write - and read - exclusively Jonerys in the GOT fandom, this is kind of an experiment) but, I have to admit, the idea of Dany and Jaime together has always fascinated me. Hence, this story. Hope you like it! Tell me what you think!

Thanks so much to all the reviews. I'll try to answer to everyone soon. Still, your support was very appreciated.

I had this idea (or the vague idea of a Jaime/Dany/Jon triangle anyway) for a long time but I was always a little reluctant to write it because I knew what some people’s reactions were going to be like.

Anyway, to those that liked it, I'm happy and don't worry, I won't give up on it. In reality, I received a much more positive reaction that I thought, so thanks for that. However, my priority, I'm sure some of you know, is 'The Nightmare in Her Dreams'. So that one comes first. But I will definitely keep writing this one as well!

(Since I got accused of hating Jon or that I’m writing this to get back at Jon, I just wanted to say: no. This is a real love triangle, which means that Dany will have feelings for two men at the same time (Jon and Jaime) and will be conflicted between them. That’s what a love triangle is. And Dany doesn’t sleep with Jaime in this chapter at all, let alone because she’s angry at Jon, I don’t understand where some people got the idea from. It’s clearly stated in the summary: ‘Night conversation’. I assure you is not an euphemism for anything else.)

Oh, just so we’re clear, I’m going to delete every comment that says why I shouldn’t/can’t write a Jaime/Dany story because or comments that says this story shouldn’t be in the Jonerys tag because. This story is just as much a Jonerys story as it is a Jaime/Dany story, that’s what a love triangle is, therefore it should stay in the Jonerys tag. And, once again, don’t try to tell me what I can and cannot write. I’m writing a Jaime/Dany/Jon love triangle. You can not like it, nobody has to say you have to like it. But I will still keep writing it. If you don’t like that I’m writing this story at all, well, to be honest I don’t care. Your opinion means nothing to me. Keep sending as many comments as you want saying how wrong my choice is and I will still delete them all and keep ignoring you.

Also, just to teach those who seems not to know what a love triangle is, that’s the definition directly from Wikipedia: ‘A love triangle (also called a romantic love triangle or a romance triangle or an eternal triangle) is usually a romantic relationship involving three or more people. While it can refer to two people independently romantically linked with a third, it usually implies that each of the three people has some kind of relationship to the other two.‘ Also, from Cambridge dictionary: ‘a situation in which two people both love a third person.’ There you go. Now you can’t plead ignorance.

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Chapter 1

“We can. I just told you how.” Daenerys said coldly before leaving the room and Jon Snow with it.

Didn’t he understand what would happen if his secret got out? Didn’t he care what would happen to them, to her? Was he so caught up in his honor that he couldn’t see what his family really was?

She didn’t know what stung more, his rejection of her or her request. She begged him. She had never begged anyone before, for anything, but she had begged him and yet…it hadn’t mattered to him one bit. His family, his honour, everything was more important to him than her.

He didn’t even bother to ask her how she was after the battle, after she had lost Viserion and Jorah both. He didn’t even come looking for her, too caught up in his siblings to care. Maybe he wouldn’t even have cared if she had died. After all, he got what he wanted, didn’t he? The Night King dead, the Army of the Dead defeated. He didn’t need her anymore.

It’s really over. Daenerys thought while walking through the barely lit Winterfell corridors. I love him but he doesn’t love me back. He doesn’t want me. Maybe he never really did.

Tears of anger and sadness both tried to escape from her eyelids but she held them in. A dragon doesn’t weep.

Instead she made her way to the Great Hall again, in search of wine or even Northern ale, to drown her sorrows.

Fortunately, the hall is almost empty, most people having already gone to bed, probably not alone either. She noticed Jaime Lannister sitting alone at a table, head bent over a mug but not drinking from it.

She almost turned around to go to her room but then she figured it didn’t matter. She sat in front of him instead, bringing him out of whatever misery he had been caught up in.

“Your Grace,” he said, surprised, when he raised his head to find her in front of him.

“Am I still, ‘your Grace’? Was I ever?” Daenerys asked, mostly talking to herself. “Your sister is still Queen, I lost all my allies except the Iron Islands, but Yara rules as Queen there, and the North…well, Jon Snow may have bent the knee but neither the Northern Lords, nor his sisters, seem to care about that.” And when everyone finds out the truth about Jon, Daenerys thought, and they will as soon as Jon will tell his sisters, then what would I have left? Who would follow me then, when there is a male heir around? That’s all that matters to people, does it? I am the one who brought dragons back into the world, but what does it mattered when Jon Snow, who has a cock, is able to ride one?

Her bitter thoughts left her a little ashamed of herself but she couldn’t help it. Nothing went as she thought it would. She was losing everything, bit by bit. How long would it take before someone would try to kill her? Not long she imagined.

Jaime looked at her like she was a little crazy, after blabbing like she had done. Maybe she was. Everyone certainly expected her to become like her father. She had seen how they looked at her. No matter what she did, all everyone cared about was the fact that she was the Mad King’s daughter.

In Essos, she was Mhysa, she was the Mother of Dragons. Here, the Country that should have been her home, she was just the daughter of a madman, who was destined to become mad herself, no matter what she wanted.

“You can call me Daenerys.” She said to him, gaining her another weird look. “I don’t feel much like a Queen tonight.”

“Why not? You should be celebrating. We defeated a foe that seemed, by all accounts, unbeatable. You defeated death itself.”

Daenerys smiled self-deprecatingly. “I didn’t. Arya Stark did.”

Jaime nodded, but he wasn’t agreeing with her. “She did. But, we all know that, if it hadn’t been for you, we’d all be dead by now.”

“I don’t think the Northern Lords know, or seem to care. And neither do Jon Snow’s sisters. Or Jon Snow himself, for that matter.”

“I always thought Northerners were idiots.” Jaime said with a smirk. “I guess I was right.”

Daenerys giggled a little. “They are. Pigheaded, narrow-minded and misguidedly proud as well. And cold, just like this frozen wasteland they call home.”

Jaime smiled a little. “I see they didn’t make much of an impression on you either.”

“No. Definitely not.” Daenerys said, frowning a little.

“A little wine, Daenerys?”

“Yes, please.” Jaime poured some wine in a random cup before giving it to her, and then poured one glass for himself as well.

For a few seconds, there was silence, then Daenerys said, with a sigh, “I know why you did it.”

“Did what?” Jaime asked her.

“Killed my father. Tyrion told me.”

“Ah,” Jaime said, “I thought he might.”

“It doesn’t make it any easier for me to accept but…I understand. I don’t blame you for it.”

Jaime smiled a small smile at her. It was a sad smile.

Daenerys noticed for the first time that Jaime Lannister was handsome. It hadn’t mattered to her before. He was just her father’s killer. He wasn’t even a real person for her before. But talking to him, somehow, made him real.

“You know, it’s ironic that you, of all people, can understand. I don’t think others would have, even if I told them why I did it. All that mattered to them was that I broke the oath to my King. Nobody even bothered to ask me why.”

Daenerys shook her head. “To some people all that matter are honour and oaths. Above everything else. Even if the consequences for keeping your oath or your honour, are worse than if you had broken it.” She found it ironic that Ned Stark could understand that, and therefore he had kept silent all those years about Jon’s real identity, and the boy who grew up following Ned Stark’s teachings, couldn’t see why it mattered for him to keep silent.

“You sound entirely too bitter about something that doesn’t concern you personally. Unless it does…” Jaime said, looking at her with green eyes that seemed to see too much.

Daenerys shrugged. “Maybe it does.”

“Huh, and is Jon Snow somehow involved in this? I would think you would be with him tonight, for a private celebration, instead of sharing a night cup with your father’s killer?”

Daenerys tensed at his sarcastic words. “You thought wrong. There’s nothing between Jon Snow and me.”

Jaime raised a skeptical eyebrow. “If you say so, your Grace.” He merely said, then, seemingly incapable of staying silent, he continued, “Like I said, he’s a northerner, and therefore, an idiot. Only an idiot would reject the most beautiful woman in the world for honour of all things.”

Daenerys jumped a little in her chair. Jaime Lannister had hit too close to home. “What makes you think he rejected me? Maybe I did.”

Jaime grinned, but it was a grin deprived of humor. “I know that look. It’s one I sported many times. I know rejection, your Grace.”

“Not always idyllic between you and your sister?” Daenerys asked, a bite to her words.

Jaime glared. “You’re the last person in the world who should judge me.”

You’re righter than you know, ser Jaime. Daenerys thought, but she answered instead, “I don’t judge you because Cersei is your sister. But because she’s a cunt.”

Jaime snorted. Then outright laughed. “Yes, yes, she is. She’s an evil woman. And yet…”

“And yet you love her. I know. You don’t choose who you love.”

Jaime looked surprised at her words. Then he nodded. “No, you don’t. Though if we did, everything would be easier.”

Daenerys nodded and then silence fell once again.

“I don’t regret killing your father, that is true. But there are other things I regret.” Jaime said then.

“Oh?” Daenerys asked.

Jaime nodded. “I regretted not saving Elia and her children, Rhaegar’s children. And I regret not protecting your mother from your father.”

Daenerys saddened at her words. “He was a monster. I’m happy I never met him. But I wished I’d known my mother. I don’t know much about her.”

“She was beautiful and kind and strong.” Jaime said immediately. “You remind me of her, in fact.”

Daenerys smiled, feeling tears filling her eyes but this time they were good tears. “Not of my father?”

“No, Daenerys. Your father wouldn’t have come here and risk his life for ungrateful people. He would have waited in his castle while the rest of the world was turned into wights and then, if the Night King had reached King’s Landing, he would have blown up the city with Wildfire.”

Daenerys nodded, though she didn’t feel any better. “Maybe I should have taken the capital when I had the chance and left the North to its fate.”

“You could have, but that’s not who you are, is it? I saw you out there, while the Lady of Winterfell cowered in the crypts, you were fighting on your dragon, risking your life. If these people can’t see who you really are, then screw them. My father used to say that lions don’t concern themselves with the opinions of sheep. Dragons don’t either as far as I know.”

Daenerys smiled, not knowing what to say in reply to his defense of her. “Tell me about my mother.” She said, instead.

“You’re a lot like her. Though Rhaella’s strength was a quiet strength. It wasn’t obvious at first, but it was there and it was deep. She loved her children more than everything. She would have done anything for them. She would have been very proud of you, of that I’m certain.”

“Thank you, ser Jaime.”

Jaime nodded and kept telling her small anecdotes about her mother and even about Rhaegar, though she didn’t particularly want to hear about Rhaegar at the moment.

They talked for hours and, all the while, they kept drinking. Daenerys lost count of how many cups she had. She was feeling more than a little tipsy. But she didn’t care. For the moment, the dark cloud of despair she had to bear for most of the night, was lifting little by little.

She couldn’t believe her father’s killer was to thank for that and yet, he was.

Finally, when the first rays of sunlight started to peek over the horizon, they decided that it was time to go to sleep.

Daenerys stumbled a little when she got up so Jaime offered to accompany her to her room.

They walked in silence, the hallways deserted. Finally, they stopped in front of the door to her room. Daenerys turned around, miscalculating how close they were. She had her back plastered to her door and the tip of her nose touching Jaime’s chest. She hadn’t realized how tall he was. She raised her head to look into his eyes and she found him already looking at her.

“Well, good night, your Grace.” He said, voice low and strangely hoarse.

“Good night, ser Jaime.” She said back, feeling strangely nervous.

There was a strange tension enveloping them both.

Jaime raised his good hand to move a lock of her hair behind her ear. His hand lingered a little, feeling its consistency on his skin.

Then he dropped it, bowed to her and left. Daenerys watched him go, wondering to herself what the hell had happened.

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Notes:

Here we go, another chapter! This is completely from Jaime's POV. This story is going to have three different POVs. Dany's, Jaime's and Jon's. Not necessarily in this order. Sometimes I may decide to write two chapters one after the other from the same POV. But Dany, Jon and Jaime are the main characters of this story. This story is Dany-centric in a way because everything kind of revolves around her and her choices, what will bring her not to burn King's Landing as opposed to Canon, but it will follow both Jon's perspective on things and Jaime's and it will try to resolve both Jon's identity crisis and the whole situation with Cersei for Jaime.

Also, I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I mostly planned out the rest of this story except for the ending and let me tell you, I'm very excited for things to come. So this story will be finished.

Hope you'll like this chapter, tell me what you think!

Oh, just so we’re clear, I’m going to delete every comment that says why I shouldn’t/can’t write a Jaime/Dany story because or comments that says this story shouldn’t be in the Jonerys tag because. This story is just as much a Jonerys story as it is a Jaime/Dany story, that’s what a love triangle is, therefore it should stay in the Jonerys tag. And, once again, don’t try to tell me what I can and cannot write. I’m writing a Jaime/Dany/Jon love triangle. You can not like it, nobody has to say you have to like it. But I will still keep writing it. If you don’t like that I’m writing this story at all, well, to be honest I don’t care. Your opinion means nothing to me. Keep sending as many comments as you want saying how wrong my choice is and I will still delete them all and keep ignoring you.

Also, just to teach those who seems not to know what a love triangle is, that’s the definition directly from Wikipedia: ‘A love triangle (also called a romantic love triangle or a romance triangle or an eternal triangle) is usually a romantic relationship involving three or more people. While it can refer to two people independently romantically linked with a third, it usually implies that each of the three people has some kind of relationship to the other two.‘ Also, from Cambridge dictionary: ‘a situation in which two people both love a third person.’ There you go. Now you can’t plead ignorance.

Chapter 2

Jaime Lannister woke up barely two hours after falling asleep, with a pounding headache and a dry throat. He had too much to drink last night.

It took a few moments for him to remember why exactly he had drunk that much. The feast, to celebrate the defeat of the Army of the Dead, and then the after-party. Brienne. The Dragon Queen…no, Daenerys.

Jaime sighed. He was glad he didn’t let the alcohol numb his senses enough for him to forget why sleeping with Brienne of Tarth was a very bad idea.

Jaime respected her too much to do something like this to her. He knew Brienne’s feelings for him were deep and true but Jaime couldn’t reciprocate them as she would wish. He wished he could. Brienne was exactly the kind of woman Jaime wished he’d love. Kind, brave, honourable, just.

But Brienne deserved better than him. She was too good, too innocent in some way, for a jaded man like him. Brienne saw the best parts of him but she tended to turn a blind eye to the worst. He could never be the man she thought him to be, not the one she deserved. And blurring the lines with sex would be enough to destroy the purest, least complicated, relationship in his life and he couldn’t allow that to happen.

Jaime had therefore kept drinking his sorrows away long after everyone else had left the great hall. He had long resigned himself to the fact that his heart, as much as he wished it weren’t so, would always belong to his sister, his other half. He might have left her behind, he might have gone north to fight the army of the dead but his heart had stayed with her like always. He was cursed to love an evil woman who would never love him the same way. Cersei was too selfish to really love anyone but herself, not even her own children, and Jaime had always been aware of that. And yet, he couldn’t stop loving her. She was like an addiction he couldn’t rid himself of.

He had still been in the middle of brooding and drowning in alcohol – though he would deny he would ever do such a thing – when the Dragon Queen had showed up.

He still didn’t know what had prompted her to seek his company last night but Jaime couldn’t say he regretted that she did.

Jaime could see why so many people followed her. Why his brother followed her and believed in her. There was something so charismatic about Daenerys Targaryen that was impossible to ignore. Rhaegar had been that way too. A true leader, who inspired people to follow him, to lay down their lives for him even. Jaime was reluctant to admit that even Jon Snow shared this same quality. That was probably one of the reasons Jon and Daenerys seemed to gravitate towards each other.

Not so much of late though. Jaime wasn’t really paying attention to it but even he had noticed the obvious distance between the former King in the North and the Mother of Dragons.

Not that Jaime had spent time speculating about it, but he wondered if this distance between them was due to Jon Snow’s family. After all, they hadn’t tried to keep secret the fact that they didn’t approve of Daenerys, especially Sansa Stark.

Jaime never had too much of a good opinion of the Starks in general. Ned had been an honourable fool, too easy to judge others who felt couldn’t live up to his impossibly high standards, Robb had been an arrogant, naïve child playing at being King, and from what little he had seen of Sansa Stark, she had gone from being a spoiled, selfish child to a cold, still very much selfish, manipulative woman. He didn’t know Arya Stark at all but there was something deeply unsettling about her that didn’t inspire too much confidence. She looked like someone who would kill you without remorse and smile about it afterwards. She looked like a coldblooded killer.

Not that Jaime had any room to judge. One of the Starks still alive was a cripple because of him. And his intent had been much worse when he threw Bran Stark out of that tower. He wouldn’t have cared if he had died. In fact, he was hoping he’d die so that his secret affair with his sister would remain…well, secret.

Jaime didn’t care that the Starks and the Northern Lords hated him. He deserved that hatred, he could freely admit that.

What he couldn’t understand or agree with, was the hatred towards Daenerys.

Jaime hadn’t been the biggest supporter of Daenerys Targaryen at first. They had met each other across a battlefield and she had burned alive most of his army, men under his protection. He had even tried to kill her, to end the war quickly.

He had thought her like her father. Another mad Targaryen, burning men alive for sport.

But his opinion of her had started to change when he had first seen her at the Dragonpit. Daenerys Targaryen had been willing to halt her war for the throne for the good of humanity, because she knew that there was something more important than a chair at stake here. Jaime had learnt later than she had even lost a dragon saving a bunch of foolish, reckless men – Jon Snow among them – who had ended up trapped beyond the Wall to capture the wight they had then showed in King’s Landing.  

Those didn’t sound like the actions of a mad woman.

Seeing her here then, fighting bravely on her dragon against the army of the dead and the Night King riding the dead dragon she had lost, and all the people, all her men sworn to her, dying to save Winterfell and the North… Jaime knew she deserved all the devotion her people showed her.

And just last night she had named the last bastard son of Robert Baratheon left alive as Lord of the Stormlands and had legitimized him as a true Baratheon.

That she had also decided to spare Jaime’s own life, the man who killed her father…it really showed what kind of person she really was.

She was a true queen. And she deserved to rule not because of her name but because of her actions. Everyone could see that.

Well, everyone except the people she had come to save, it seemed. Jaime knew the Northerners were stubborn and proud but he didn’t know they were also ungrateful.

And then last night…

That was the first time Jaime had talked to Daenerys Targaryen without other people present. Just the two of them. And what he had seen had surprised him.

Under all that ‘Dragon Queen’ persona, the one that exuded power and authority from the tips of her silver hair to her dainty feet, there was just a woman. A woman with her own insecurities and vulnerabilities. A woman who was clearly in pain. Who was in mourning. Whose heartbreak was plain to see in the depth of her violet eyes.

She lost one of her dragons a second time, she lost half her army – men under her responsibility that he was sure Daenerys cared for – and she had lost Jorah Mormont, who Jaime knew from Tyrion, had been one of Daenerys’ closest advisors, a man Daenerys deeply cared for and that had clearly been in love with her. And whatever was happening with Jon Snow was clearly weighting on her as well.

All of those things together would be enough to make any normal person go a little crazy.

But Jaime had noticed that Daenerys was also extremely strong, just like her mother. She had a strength of will and a determination that was probably the reason why she went from exiled princess living on the streets in Essos to the most powerful person in the world.

She was also the person he least expected to understand why he had killed the Mad King. But she did and she didn’t blame him. The daughter of the man he had killed had been one of the few people who had offered him understanding and acceptance.

Jaime found himself smiling at the thought of her before catching himself.

But he knew what feeling he was experiencing for her now. He had felt it before, for her brother, for Arthur Dayne, for Barristan Selmy. Admiration.

Jaime Lannister admired Daenerys Targaryen. What a strange world they lived in.

Still, Jaime was also a man and Daenerys was considered the most beautiful woman in the world for a reason.

He had noticed she was beautiful before, of course. Only a blind person wouldn’t notice. And Jaime wasn’t blind. Her beauty like her silver hair and violet eyes was one of Daenerys’ distinctive traits.

But he hadn’t cared. It hadn’t mattered to him. What did he care that the Dragon Queen was beautiful?

But he had felt it, last night. He had felt the effect that beauty could have on a man. Talking with her all night, accompanying her back to her room, he had felt it. Like a spark, a tiny glimmer of a feeling he just couldn’t ignore.

But he needed to. The last thing he needed to complicate his already complicated life was to somehow develop feelings for Daenerys Targaryen of all people.

Still, he needed to talk to her and he needed to talk to his brother as well. The war against the dead was over and he knew Daenerys was still set on conquering the Seven Kingdoms and remove Cersei from power. Jaime knew that Cersei was beyond saving. Cersei had signed her death warrant when she had lied about sending help north and instead employed the Golden Company.

Jaime couldn’t save her. But he could, at least, try to save the child Cersei was expecting. His child.

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Notes:

New chapter and once again, Jaime's POV. Next we have Dany's POV, then Jon's. Hope you like this one! And thank you to everyone who commented, subscribed and left kudos on my story. I'm really glad you're liking it.

I revised the chapter a little so I decided to repost it. There aren't many differences to the previous version but still, I'd advise you to reread it anyway.

Chapter 3

“I thought you would be half way to King’s Landing by now.” Tyrion said by way of greeting, coming to stand next to him on the rampart overlooking Winterfell courtyard. It was still early, only a few servants up and about. Jaime ignored the usual discomfort of his golden hand sending freezing waves of pain up his wrist and forearm. He hated this fucking weather.

“I thought about it.” Jaime answered, unable to lie to his brother.

“But you didn’t leave. Why is that? Does a certain knight have something to do with it?”

Jaime ignored the teasing about Brienne. Maybe she was part of the reason why he stayed, but not for the reasons Tyrion was thinking. “I stayed because it’s the right thing to do. And for once in my life, I want to do the right thing.”

“You did the right thing by coming here, and you did the right thing when you killed the Mad King.” Tyrion pointed out.

“Yes. But I could have done more. I could have done more for Rhaegar’s family. For Rhaella and her children. And now Rhaella’s daughter is here and she’s helped saved us all. I’m not a religious man but even I can’t ignore such a blatant sign.”

“You intend to help Daenerys take her throne?” The look of surprise on Tyrion’s face was amusing. “Even if it means going against Cersei? Cersei, who is pregnant with your child, may I remind you.”

“Are you trying to dissuade me from helping your Queen? I thought you would be happy.”

“I am. I’m just…” Tyrion sighed and looked away from him. “I’m concerned about Daenerys.”

“Yes, she’s been through a tremendous ordeal lately. But she’s strong. She will win this as well.”

“That is what concerns me.” Tyrion said, his expression sad. “I’m starting to believe she’s not the same person I kneeled to in Meereen. She’s being paranoid lately, suspicious and withdrawn. Since we came north, she’s being different. I’m afraid what she would be willing to do to get the throne.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have no doubt she’ll win. It’s how many innocent people will die in the process that concerns me.”

Jaime scoffed. “Innocent people always die in war. It’s unfortunate, but it’s the reality we live in. And really, if Daenerys hadn’t cared about innocent lives, she would have taken King’s Landing already with her dragons. Instead, here we are, with Cersei still sitting on the throne, with a new army and Euron Greyjoy and his fleet. And all because she stayed her hand.”

“Because I advised her to.”

“And she listened. And maybe she shouldn’t have.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, brother, you are a cunning politician but you are dismal at military strategy. If she had someone competent on that, maybe she would be on the throne already. With all three of her dragons and most of her army. Instead, she lost a dragon and half her army and Cersei is still sitting on the throne. No wonder she’s angry at you lately. Anyone else would have dismissed you and find themselves another Hand.” At Tyrion’s frown Jaime smirked, understanding what the real problem was. “Oh, I see what it is. You aren’t doubting Daenerys because you changed your mind about her and suddenly think she wouldn’t make a good queen. It’s because your pride is hurt.

“You just hate the fact that you know you made a lot of mistakes lately and because of that, she stopped listening to you as you think she should. You don’t like the fact that you don’t have the influence on her you think you should have, that you used to have. It’s like you said, like all smart people you hate being wrong. But most of all, you hate the fact that she knows you were wrong and because of that, she’s willing to listen to you less than before. The more she doubts you and the more you doubt her in turn.”

Tyrion opened and closed his mouth a few times in surprise. Then he sighed and said, “Since when you are the smartest Lannister?”

Jaime shrugged. “I’m not. But because I’m not involved so closely, I see things clearer. And what I see is you letting your bruised ego cloud your judgement. Can I give you some advice, brother?”

Tyrion nodded but he looked both suspicious and offended.

“Instead of resenting Daenerys because she holds you accountable for your mistakes, why don’t you try to make up for them?”

Tyrion didn’t answer. Instead, he said, “I’ve never thought I’d see you, of all people, championing Daenerys Targaryen.”

Jaime shrugged, trying to portrait an air of nonchalance he didn’t really feel. “I talked to her, yesterday night, after the feast. And I saw what you did, or used to, at least.

“I didn’t before. Not during the battle against her. It’s difficult to think well of a person when said person is killing all your soldiers with her dragon. But I see it now. I saw it while she fought against the dead. She’s brave…fearless even. But she’s also kind, compassionate and just. You were right. She’s a queen worth following and believing in.

“She even said she understood why I had to kill her father, that she didn’t blame me for it. And, I mean, she also has men like you and Varys in her council. Varys, who tried to poison her when she was married with that Dothraki Khal. And you, a Lannister, as her Hand of the Queen. And ser Jorah, who used to spy on her. Her capacity for forgiveness is great.

“And yet, she’s also incredibly vulnerable. She’s clearly in pain, in mourning. She lost a lot. And for someone who didn’t have any family left at all to begin with, it must be excruciating. And I imagine she’s also feeling isolated in this cold place, because the people who were meant to accept her as queen after what she did for them, people who should be grateful she came here at all, are still treating her like the enemy, especially the Starks sisters. Honour demands they treat her with the respect she deserves after what she’s done for them. Ironic, I’ll say, especially for the Starks, who praise themselves in being so honourable.” Then with an annoyed look at his little brother he said, “I can’t believe I have to be the one to explain this to you.”

“You’re right. How could I not have seen it?” Tyrion asked himself, a look of shame crossing his face. “It’s just that…she’s so…” Tyrion made a vague gesture with his hand, seemingly unable to find the word he was looking for. “It’s just difficult to see Daenerys as someone who can become affected by normal, human insecurities. She’s the Mother of Dragons, the Breaker of Chains and all that. She always seems so…tenacious and in control, all the time, a figure larger than life. It’s hard to imagine that a person like her could ever feel vulnerable, could ever feel sad. I know it’s stupid to think so. But, sometimes, I forget that she’s human behind all her titles and power. I guess I was unconsciously buying into her being some kind of goddess or something.

“Still, I don’t know what to do. I’m really afraid she’s going to do something she’ll regret. I know she doesn’t want to kill innocent people, but she’s getting impatient. And I understand that. She’s afraid she’s going to lose even more than she already did. And she’s not listening to me anymore. Though I suppose, it’s better if I don’t come up with the plan to take King’s Landing this time. Still, would she trust Jon Snow’s plan instead?”

“You noticed that too, huh?”

“Difficult not to. They were attached at the hips when we first came here. It was nauseating, how much in love they were. And that ship voyage, the longest of my life. And yet, now, they barely talk or even look at each other, let alone spend time together. I don’t know what happened but something clearly did.”

“Maybe it just…fizzled out. Whatever there was between them.” Jaime said, not really believing what he was saying and yet, some small part of him couldn’t help but hope it was true. He shook his head. The last thing he needed was to develop feelings for a woman who wouldn’t or couldn’t love him back.

“I don’t think it’s that at all. They look at each other longingly when the other isn’t looking. They were like that in Dragonstone as well, when they first met. Clearly having feelings for each other but neither of them doing anything about it. The only reason one of them took the leap is because the other almost died.”

“Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. You’re right, we need to come up with a plan we can present to Daenerys, an effective one, that would allow her to take the city without killing innocent civilians in the process.”

“We? So, you’re really committed to this?”

“I am.”

“What about Cersei? And your child?”

Jaime sighed. “Cersei is already lost to me. There’s nothing I can do to save her now.”

“And your child?”

“I’m hoping Daenerys will spare Cersei long enough for her to give birth to my child.”

“Do you really think she would let Cersei’s child, a Lannister child, live?”

Jaime glared at him. “She’s not Robert Baratheon and she’s not Cersei either. Or do you really think she would kill an innocent child? I thought you really believed in her, that she was better than everyone who came before her. Is that not true anymore?”

Tyrion sighed, once again shamed-faced. “You’re right. As her Hand, who has her best interests at heart, I should be the one advising her to kill the child, because that child could pose a threat to her reign. But after what she did, legitimizing Robert Baratheon’s bastard…”

Jaime nodded. “Exactly.” Then he grinned, suddenly amused. “A few moons ago, you were the one defending Daenerys to me, and now look at us.”

Tyrion laughed. Then his smile turned sly. “A few moons ago, I was the one having romantic feelings for Daenerys Targaryen. And now look at us.”

Jaime stiffened immediately. “I don’t have romantic feelings for Daenerys Targaryen.” He said with a grimace to cover up his discomfort.

Tyrion rolled his eyes at him. “I know that look. Jorah Mormont, Jon, even me…we all had the same look in our eyes while talking about Daenerys. Don’t worry, it’s normal. She just has this kind of effect on men. It will pass…or you’ll fall madly and deeply in love with her. One of the two.”

 

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Notes:

Well, first of all, I'm sorry for how long I spent without updating this story. I really have no excuses. But I promise you, it's not abandoned. Second, I wanted this chapter to have the conversation between Jaime and Dany but it didn't turn out this way. So next chapter, it will be another Dany POV, this time with Jaime in it. So you will have to wait two chapters and not one for the chapter with JON's POV. Also, remember that Dany right now has a lot of resentment towards Jon (and she has her reasons for it), but so does Jon for her. And yes, the throne is still her number one priority right now, because that's Dany of season8. But the characters have still a long way to go. Hope you like it, tell me what you think.

Chapter 4

Pale morning light greeted her eyes when she woke up, the rays of sunlight peeking through white clouds. She had slept through the night, something that was happening more and more rarely as of late. Maybe the merit could be attributed to the large amount of wine she had imbibed last night. She rather not think about the strange conversation she had with Jaime Lannister, since she had no idea what could have prompted her to even decide to speak with the man who killed her father.

The ground and the roofs outside were covered in yet another veil of snow, which would have made for a pretty sight if she had felt remotely welcome there. Since she wasn’t, the snow was yet another reminder that she didn’t belong in this place.

She had visited many places in the world, and many of those in Essos hadn’t always be welcoming to her, oftentimes it was in fact the opposite, and yet, the North was perhaps the most hostile place she had ever set foot in.

Daenerys was fire made flesh, just like her children, and the cold was snuffing it out. She needed to leave soon, or risk losing even more of herself that she already did.

She was forgetting who she was. The more she stayed there, in this harsh place, and the more she was losing that faith in herself that had made her survive and thrive in the face of every single thing she had ever gone through. Cersei wasn’t winning because she was smarter, better than her, but because Daenerys herself hadn’t been Daenerys Targaryen since she had set foot in Westeros.

What had Olenna Tyrell told her? ‘You’re a dragon. Be a dragon.’ She hadn’t been a dragon since she arrived in Westeros, only a pale imitation of it. And why was that? It was simple now, understanding why. She had been afraid. Afraid of being who she really was because she had thought people wouldn’t welcome her. But they hadn’t welcomed her anyway, they hadn’t accepted her anyway. At least, not here. And the allies she had, she had lost because she listened to others instead of relying on herself like she had always done.

She had trusted Tyrion and he had failed her. She had trusted Jon Snow and he had failed her. But no more. Her people needed her, relayed on her and she had failed them. Half her armies were gone. One of her children was gone. Her oldest friend and protector, gone. She wasn’t going to lose anyone else. And her enemies would regret the day they ever thought to fight against her.

‘I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen. I’m the Blood of the Dragon, descendant of Aegon the Conqueror and his sister wives, Visenya and Rhaenys. And I will take what is mine with Fire and Blood.’

She will take the Iron Throne and rule Westeros, Jon Snow or anyone else be damned. She was the one that fought and bled and lost for it, and for what? For nothing? To leave it to someone who didn’t even want it? Just because he was a man? No. Jon Snow had no more right than she had to the Iron Throne. Was the marriage between Rhaegar and Lyanna even valid anyway? Would people just accept the fact that Rhaegar had annulled a perfectly valid marriage with a Princess of Dorne that had given him two children to marry a woman in secret, and whose witnesses to it were all dead, as legitimate? Dorne certainly wouldn’t. They would see Jon Snow’s mere existence as an insult, an affront. And really, the only proof of the marriage was Samwell Tarly’s and Bran Stark’s word and a journal. The fact that Jon rode a dragon was proof that he was Rhaegar’s son, but there was nothing to prove that he was a legitimate one, especially if the journal were to just…disappear? Samwell Tarly and Bran Stark’s word wouldn’t be enough, at that point, to prove that Jon was really Aegon Targaryen.

She shook her head at her thoughts and yet…would it really be so awful? She had begged Jon to not tell anything to anyone, and yet, he hadn’t listened to her. She was his queen, as he liked so much to repeat, and yet, he had disobeyed her. She needed to defend herself. Jon Snow might not realize what such information could do in the hands of those that would seek to use it to their own gains, but she did. It was a death sentence for her, unless she took control of the situation and do some damage control of her own.

The truth of Jon Snow’s parentage could harm her only if she let it. And there were ways to manipulate the truth to her advantage.

Maybe it was wrong of her to do so, but what other choice did she have? Jon wasn’t leaving her any. He had chosen his loyalty to his family, to the North, and his identity as a Stark over his loyalty to her and his identity as a Targaryen. He had rejected his identity as a Targaryen when he had rejected her.

Targaryens answered to neither gods nor men, and yet Jon was crumbling under everyone’s else expectations and believes of what and who he should be.

So be it. She was done begging and pleading. She was done pining after someone that maybe still wanted her but didn’t love her enough to choose her.

She was his Queen, so that was what she was going to be from now on, nothing more, nothing less. And he was going to be only her Warden of the North. They weren’t lovers, they weren’t family. They were barely allies at this point. They were nothing to each other. That was what he wanted so that was what he would get.

A knock at the door of her solar, which was connected to the private chambers assigned to her at Winterfell, shook her out of her less than cheerful thoughts. One of her unsullied guard assigned to protect her chambers told her it was her Hand, wanting an audience with her. Daenerys gave her consent for him to enter and Tyrion did, a few moments later, looking contrite like she hadn’t seen him in a while.

Daenerys was getting rather tired of his apologies, especially because they were empty ones, since Tyrion kept messing things up over and over. This time though, she had no idea what he could have done to cause even more damage since she had seen him last, which was just yesterday night, at the feast, when he had been his usual loquacious, drunk self.

“Your Grace,” he said, bowing low, “forgive me for this unexpected visit but there’s something I would like to discuss with you.”

“Very well. Let’s sit, then. Should I expect more bad news? It seems like it’s becoming the norm with you.”

Tyrion sat, his gaze lowered to the ground. Then, when Daenerys had sat as well, he took a deep breath and stared directly into her eyes. “I owe you an apology.”

“What have you done this time, Tyrion?” Daenerys asked him, raising an eyebrow at him and crossing her arms over her chest.

“No, no. It’s not what you think. I didn’t do anything…new, that’s it. I apologize for every mistake I made since we arrived in Westeros. You gave me your trust, you believed in me, you named me your Hand, and I failed you. And instead of trying to make amends sooner, I started to blame you for it. I started doubting you. And it’s not fair to you, because you are as you ever were. And you’re still the Queen I chose. Now and always.”

Daenerys absorbed Tyrion’s words, feeling surprised at the unexpected apologize. “All right. I accept your apology.” She couldn’t tell him that she forgave him because she wasn’t sure she could, not right now at the very least. “What brought this on?”

“I talked to Jaime this morning. And it seems you made an impression on him, not that I’m surprised.”

“Your brother? What has your brother got to do with anything?”

“He told me that you two talked last night. And he pointed out some rather obvious things that I was blind or too stubborn to accept.” Tyrion explained, “in fact, now that I’m at it, I’m really sorry about ser Jorah. He was a good man, brave and loyal. And I know you cared deeply for him. But I know he died the way he would have wanted, protecting you.”

“You’re the second person who tells me that, as if it makes it any easier. He’s dead, because of me. My men are dead, because I dragged them here, to defend this horrible place, filled with ungrateful people who treat their allies worst than their enemies. My child died, and then was made a slave, and then died again. I don’t need empty platitudes Tyrion. What I need is a plan to take my throne. An effective one this time.”

“Forgive me, you’re right. It’s also why I’m here. You made a mistake, giving me the role of military strategist.”

“Clearly.” Daenerys said, perfectly serious.

Tyrion nodded. “Yes, as we both have plenty of proof about, I’m awful at planning wars. But…there’s someone here in Winterfell who is a good military strategist and he could be the one to help you win this war.”

“If you’re talking about Jon Snow…”

“I’m not talking about Jon Snow. I’m talking about Jaime.”

“Jaime? Need I remind you that he killed my father? Even if I know why he did it, it doesn’t make it very easy to even being in the same room with him. When I look at him, all I see is my horrible childhood. Starving, begging on the streets, running from assassins, being raised by my abusive brother. And I know, rationally, that it’s not fair, because if there’s someone to blame for what happened, is my brother Rhaegar, beside the Usurper, your father and mine, of course. If that weren’t bad enough, he’s in love with Cersei. And I plan on executing Cersei, you know that, right? He would never betray her. And I could never trust him because of it.”

Tyrion nodded. “All valid and understandable reasons. But, if Jaime was still as loyal to Cersei as you believe him to be, he would have never come here. But he did. He could have left, go back to Cersei, the moment the war with the dead was over. But he didn’t. He’s still here. He also told me that he plans on helping you take the throne. He’s on your side, Daenerys. And my brother is a lot of things, but he’s not a liar.”

“Why would he do that?”

“Because he saw what millions of other people have seen in you. A leader worth following. A queen who is a queen, not because her father happened to be a king, but because of her actions. You inspire people to follow you, Daenerys. That’s just who you are.”

“It doesn’t seem to be working very well in Westeros.”

Tyrion waved his little hand in the air like he was driving away a fly. “That’s just the North. They’re cold people who don’t trust outsiders. The fact that you’re the mad king’s daughter doesn’t help. Sansa Stark being openly hostile to you and Jon Snow doing nothing about it doesn’t help either.

“But, luckily for us, the North is the least populous kingdom in Westeros. And, willing or not, they will follow Jon Snow and they will fight for you. You will have time to show them who you really are once you’re Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. They will see you for the Queen you are, eventually. Even if it takes decades for you to do it. And even if we lost Olenna Tyrell, most Houses in the Reach will still follow you, we just need to ask. Dorne will follow you as well.

“Now that you named Gendry Lord of the Stormlands, I’m sure we’ll manage to find some Stormlands’ Houses willing to fight for you. The houses sworn to Dragonstone will fight for you without a doubt. Yara Greyjoy is still your ally. Some houses in the Riverlands could decide to follow you, maybe even Edmure Tully.”

“Isn’t he the Starks’ uncle? Catelyn Stark’s brother? Why would he want to follow me if his nieces and nephew hate me?”

“Because Edmure Tully is still a prisoner of the Lannisters. If my brother grants him his freedom, and makes sure to tell him that he’s free because he’s following your orders…especially if the Starks, after taking Winterfell back, didn’t bother to help him in anyway, after the Riverlands fought and died for Robb Stark. I don’t think Edmure Tully is very happy with the Starks right now. And most of the Lannister army fights for my brother, not Cersei. With him on your side, a lot of Lannister soldiers could change sides.”

“But that depends on me putting my trust in Jaime Lannister. And I don’t know if I can do that.”

“I know. And I know that I can’t ask you to trust me either, not after the many times I failed you. But when we first met in Meereen, you didn’t know if you could trust me either but we sat down to talk and you realized that I was telling the truth.

“That’s just what I ask. Talk to him, you’ll realize he’s being sincere. Trust your instincts Daenerys. Other people might have failed you, betrayed you, but your instincts never did. Or am I wrong? You brought dragons back into the world after everyone else was convinced it was impossible. You gained the loyalty of the Dothraki. You freed all the slaves in Slaver’s Bay…pardon me, Dragons’ Bay. And now you’re here, in Westeros, after everyone was convinced no Targaryen would ever set foot in Westeros again.

“Jon Snow was right when he said that you make impossible things happen. I guess I had forgotten that, but no more. I believe in you, Daenerys. And, strangest thing of all, Jaime does as well. Talk to him and you’ll see for yourself. The man who killed your father is now on your side. Trusting him seems impossible, I know. But, after all, what’s another impossible thing for you?”

Daenerys was surprised by Tyrion’s impassioned speech. It had been a while since Tyrion had looked at her with faith, belief, in his eyes. But she could see it now. And yet, it wasn’t enough. She needed something else for him first.

“Why?”

“Why what?” Tyrion asked, not understanding the question.

“Why did you fail me? It’s more than the fact that you’re awful at planning wars. I just need you to tell me the real reason.”

Tyrion shrugged, bitterness in his voice. “Because, no matter how much I believe in you, as much as I want for you to become Queen, I’m still a Lannister. As much as my father wished it weren’t so, or my sister. That is what I am and I can’t change it. I said once that I never bet against my family. And yet, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing since before I arrived in Meereen. I killed my father, and I’m partly responsible for Tommen and Myrcella’s deaths. I even became allies with the ones responsible for my niece’s death. And now I’m helping you take down Cersei. And watching you going against Jaime, against the Lannister army, I realized that I was betraying my own blood. I’m loyal to you, I am, but I feel guilty for being loyal to you. Because I’m helping you destroying my own family. That is why Cersei managed to fool me.”

Daenerys sighed. She knew, she had always known. But it was liberating, having Tyrion finally admitting it.

“I can’t understand how difficult it must be for you.” Daenerys said, and she was being completely honest. “But I can’t have you in my council if your loyalties are torn. So, look me in the eye and tell me, once and for all, that you’re with me, or give me your Hand pin back and walk away now. I promise you, I won’t punish you for it.”

Tyrion rose from his chair to kneel in front of her, just like he had done all those moons back in Meereen.

“I choose you, Daenerys. I did the moment I knocked on your door this morning. No matter what happens with Jaime or my sister. From now on, you have my complete loyalty, I promise you.”

Daenerys nodded. “I’m trusting you, Tyrion and I forgive you, for all your mistakes. But if you betray me, this time…I will have no mercy. Do you understand?”

Tyrion rose once again. “I do. And if I do betray you, I will gladly stand in front of Drogon to be burnt alive. You’re the first person who really believed in me, who gave me a chance. And how did I repay you? No more. I promise you, you won’t regret it this time, my Queen.”

“Good. Then, I suppose, I should talk to your brother. Let’s see what he has to say.”