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A herd of moose blocks the road between Fairbanks and Eagle, and delays your arrival at the small airstrip along the Yukon River. The pilot argues with you that weather is coming in, but you offer him twice his usual fee to fly you into Canada.
The road between Fairbanks and Eagle is clear, and you arrive at the airstrip hours before a storm brewing in the west. The pilot gets the small aircraft aloft with alacrity. You watch the mountains passing below and shiver at the sight of the brutal cold peaks. You imagine what it would be like to freeze to death.
When the storm blows up, the pilot brings the plane down and then abandons both you and his plane. You didn’t plan for this, but you have half a million dollars in your bag, and you know that you have to save your own life before the money will be any use.
The pilot puts the plane down outside of Grand Prairie and you pay him the agreed fee. He never knows that your luggage conceals a half a million dollars US. You revel in your escape - from the law, from Alaska, from the men who tried to control you.
You’ve resigned yourself to dying and comfort yourself that freezing to death is supposed to be peaceful. You feel anything but peace though, enraged that the revenge you planned to take on the world is denied you. When he appears, you’re sure he’s an angel at first, until you decide he’s too cold and miserable to be a heavenly being. In any case, he saves you and damns you within the space of a few days.
The borders between the States and Canada are porous, and no one is looking for you so far east. You convert the bills into much more portable diamonds in Chicago, and head south, done with snow and ice. You’re careful and meticulous with the money, playing the part of a widow or divorcee as needed. You let men see your darkness but they always think they can conquer it, more fools they. You’re careful to choose the ones that will be too conscious of their reputations to admit what you’ve done.
You have plenty of time to plan his destruction, never pausing to think that of the harm done to you by men, his was the least. When he lies bleeding on the train platform, you head south, done with snow and ice. You avoid Austin, in case he survives.
When word reaches you years later that Jolly has been released, it’s laughably easy to arrange a fatal accident. You know better than to play with that particular fire. Money makes everything work smoothly.
Diamonds are portable but obvious. A trip to the Cayman Islands nets you a healthy bank account full of lovely clean money.
You wander back to Chicago one spring, and meet him when he holds the door for you at Marshall Fields, his red uniform a bright spot in the slowly melting streets. You let him buy you lunch, although he’s far from your usual mark. He has a different kind of arrogance, not from wealth and power, but from moral certainty. It’s wrapped with a kind of innocence, and seasoned with a miasma of loneliness that hangs over him. You think that when he breaks, it will be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.
You wander from city to city, growing more confident as the months go by with no hint that the authorities have traced you. The southern cities suit you, the heat warming your bones, but no amount of blinding sun can conquer your darkness. You’re glad you didn’t lose that part of yourself when you fell in love with him, and you nurture it carefully.
You’re careful about meeting any of his few connections and you use sex to keep him fascinated with you. The wolf is the first of his companions to go, a hit and run. An all too common accident. Really, dogs should be leashed in the city for their own protection. When he cries at your breast, you smile in triumph. That’s the first night he kneels for you, begging you to take his pain away. You replace the emotional pain with physical pain and teach him to ride the endorphins. The next time he asks you to hurt him, you can see your darkness starting to cover him too, and you wonder why you never thought of this before. Innocence turned to corruption.
Las Vegas suits you, and no one remarks about where your wealth comes from. The population is transient, and you can take your revenge on men over and over again. They are all the same, easy marks, always sure that they can be the one to redeem you. None are worthy of more than a few hours of your time, cheaters, all of them, whether with money or on their wives.
His American detective partner is next. The detective is an Italian with too many suspicious connections, and one Internal Affairs investigation later lands him in prison for ten years. The Canadian government covers their own ass without looking further into the matter and your pet is jobless. A judicious whisper into the right ears results in an act of arson that leaves him homeless. The darkness covering him is nearly complete. You promise to keep him safe, while planning his further degradation. There’s one sin you’ve yet to commit personally, but you know that you’ll grant his request when he begs you to end his life.
When you meet Armando Langoustini, you realize that one man among all of them will keep his promises. You smile as his bullet in your brain ends your life.
