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Summary:

A king, a lord, and a human walk into a bar… wait that jokes been told before.
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Cardan has gotten an invitation for him, Locke, and Taryn to join Vivi, Heather, and Jude for drinks to talk about their futures. While talking about their futures doesn't exactly happen, talking about Jude's very obvious weight gain does.

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A king, a lord, and a human walk into a bar… wait that jokes been told before. How about this: Cardan, Locke, and Taryn walk into the bar that the invitation had declared as neutral ground. A place where, according to Vivi, Taryn’s sister, Jude wouldn’t freak out when she saw the company she was meeting with. The bell on the door rings, causing a few of the patrons to look up. What they see varies on different accounts. Some see the most stunning males ever and a subpar female, while others see the most stunning female ever and two subpar males. Either way, those who look up are taken. 

“Did my sister tell you what table they would be at?” Taryn, the human and the female, asks her husband Locke, the lord and one of the most stunning males ever. 

“No, just that she and Heather would be here with Jude-” Locke is stopped by Cardans intake of breath. 

“I see them. They’re over there.” He points towards a corner, where sure enough, a half mortal and mortal are sitting, sipping on what looks to be white wine. 

Slowly, the trio walks over, ignoring the looks from the humans in the bar. Those who aren’t human know exactly who just walked into the bar. Cardan Greenbriar, the High King of Faerie. 

“Thank you guys for coming. Full disclosure thought, Jude doesn’t know you guys are joining tonight. But, drink as much as you want, we have a built in designated driver,” Vivi laughs, motioning for the waiter to come over, “Please order what you want, Cassian will grab it for you. Oh, and Cass, Jude will be joining in a couple of minutes.” 

Cassian leaves with three drink orders, and the table sits quietly. Twenty minutes pass, and Jude is still a no show, but with the newfound liquor, Locke is quite chatty.  

“Honestly, I don’t even understand why Taryn and I are here, Cardan should be able to handle his lovers spat by himself. Is she even coming?” Locke asks. Taryn puts a hand on her arm as if to calm him when Vivi’s phone rings. 

“Hey Jude.. Yeah let me put you on speaker real fast.. Ok, you’re good, what’s up? Where are you?” Vivi sets her phone down on the table.

“Ugh yeah I’m like ten minutes out, my lecture ran over and I apparently can no longer fit behind the wheel of my car so I had to take a cab and you know how traffic can get at this time.”

“Wait, so no built in DD?” Vivi asks, looking disappointed.

“Unfortunately not. I can be the designated cab caller though.”

“It’s okay Jude, I’ll stop drinking and take on DD,” Heather says, speaking for the first time in the past thirty minutes. 

“Great okay, I’ll be there in five.” Jude hangs up and Vivi looks to Cardan.

“What does she mean she can’t drive a car?” He asks.

“She’ll explain when she gets here. You have to stay calm though.”

“What? Stay calm?” Cardan asked, but before Vivi or Heather could answer his question, the bell dinged and Jude walked in. 

Vivi stood up, waving Jude over. As she walked, the king, the lord, and the human observed her. She was wearing leggings and a giant sweatshirt, that made her look.. Fat? She was waddling and walking very slowly. Cassian, their waiter, noticed Jude and walked over to her offering his arm. She was on the phone, frowning, but when she noticed Cassian she smiled and a look of relief crossed over her face. She took his arm and said something into the phone before handing it over to Cassian. Cassian and Jude walk to the table. 

When they get there, Cassian helps Jude sit down while having a very heated conversation about what seems to be like birthing balls? Jude sat next to Locke, as that was the only open seat and Cassian left but quickly came back with a bright red drink that had at least six cherries in it.
“Oh my goodness Cassian, you are a savior. Now, can you please tell the midwife that she’s being an idiot and that I want it done on the 21st of October at 1:00pm. She can take it or leave it. If she leaves it, I’m going to another hospital,” Jude says with a tone of finality and Cassian nods and leaves the table. Jude looks at the table and says, “Why is everyone so quiet?”

“Well, we didn’t know if you were gonna show up,” Taryn states, nose in the air. “What are you drinking Jude, it looks disgusting.”

“A Shirley Temple Taryn, and they are quite delicious.”

“Why aren’t you drinking wine Jude?” Locke asks, “You love wine.”

“I am not currently in a position that offers me the ability to drink wine,” she responds, taking a cherry out and eating it. 

“Does that reason have something to do with why you are so… fat?” Locke asks, gesturing the bump behind her sweater.

“Yes actually. It does.” Cassian comes back over to Jude and hands her phone back and says something about it being “done.”

Cardan looks at Jude and says, “What’s done?”

“Leave it Cardan. It doesn’t affect you,” Vivi says.

“No, Viv, it’s fine. You see, Cardan, I accidentally slept with a narcissistic asshole who only cares about himself and he got me pregnant. I’m due in three weeks and both Cassian and I decided that a c-section was safer so we just scheduled one.”

Cardan only knows a little bit about human pregnancy, but with his knowledge he does know that the usual gestational period is about forty weeks. So, forty minus three puts her at thirty-seven weeks. And thirty-seven weeks ago Jude had returned from killing Balekin and Cardan had made her his wife. In more ways than one. This all meant that…

Cardan stood up and walked over to Jude. He knelt in front of her and say, “I want to marry you the human way, I want you to be real Queen of Elfhame. You are pardoned and I want to be apart of this baby’s life.”

Everybody in the bar gasps and looks over to the kneeling, crying King. The king says, “Marry me Jude Duarte. Marry me and be mine forever.”

“Yes, yes. Yes, I’ll marry you. Yes, I’ll be yours forever!” Jude whispers, kneeling down to his level, “But, Cardan?” she asks.

“Yes, my dear?”

“I think my water just broke.”