Chapter Text
“I still don’t think it’s a good idea!” Virgil yelled out in frustration.
“Well you're not the one Thomas needs to think. That is my job, and logically the pros outweigh the cons, and a positive outcome is more likely than a negative one.” Logan countered.
Thomas and his sides were in the living room, in the middle of an all out argument. Patton and Thomas were on the couch in the middle of the four warring sides. Virgil and Deceit on one side and Logan and Roman on the other.
“Joan is Thomas’ best friend, are we really going to risk that for something so trivial? Why would Thomas need to tell them about us anyway, we’ve gone this far without telling anyone!” Virgil tried to explain pulling at the strings of his hoodie.
Logan sighed, “Thomas needs someone close to him to talk to about his mental health with. Someone who is not a part of him. And it would be quite difficult for him to explain the conversations we’ve had with him. Without accidentally letting our existence slip, this way we can do it on Thomas’ terms.” Logan looked to Thomas and Patton. “Patton you are the tiebreaker here, what do you think we should do?”
Patton tapped his fingers against his leg. “Why do I have to be the tiebreaker? Why isn’t Remus here can’t he do it?”
Deceit spoke up sounding exhausted. “When I asked his opinion he said and I quote; I couldn’t give two fucks. But if we do end up doing it, when we introduce the five of us we should strip down to our underwear and dance to Mama Mia. Unquote.”
“But there’s six of us?” Roman asked.
“Ah yes I pointed that out as well and he said; I might be sadistic but no one deserves the horror and mental scarring of seeing Roman almost naked.” Deceit rolled his eyes. The rest pretended they didn’t see Roman’s offended look. One argument was enough for the day, and the twins arguments tended to get violent.
“That brings up another point!” Virgil interrupted, “What if we tell Joan and they gets us thrown in a mental hospital?”
Logan shook his head. “First of all I doubt Joan would do that. Second of all Thomas would only be put in a ward if he proved to be a danger to himself or others. Which even if we were just hallucinations, Thomas would still not be. Many people with actual hallucinations live a relatively normal life.”
“Wait how do I know you guys aren’t hallucinations?” Thomas asked worried.
“Oh we definitely *are* hallucinations. That’s why we can do things like show up in your vlogs, interact with physical objects, and take and eat your food.” Deceit said examining his nails, he then looked up at Thomas with a raised brow.
“Yeah okay that’s fair.” To be fair, Thomas didn’t know how the camera could pick up his sides, no other camera could. Roman just took it one day exclaiming something about being seen and interacting with Thomas’ fans. Thomas didn’t question it, use to his creative sides antics and random bursts of inspiration. Only thing it can't do is go into the mindscape when they do, so Thomas had to film anything that happens there with help from some friends. Them thinking it was just a script he came up with of course. He also had to enlist his friends when the sides shape shifted into them, that would be a weird explanation of how he got the footage.
Logan looked out the window then at his watch. “We can continue this debate tomorrow. It is getting late and Thomas needs his rest. Just remember Thomas,” Logan said before Thomas could leave, “no matter what we decide, it is your opinion that is the ultimatum.”
Thomas watched as one by one his sides sunk out until one remained. “Everything alright there Virgil?” His anxious side looked up meeting his eyes for the first time since the argument had started. He was still slightly shocked every time he saw Virgil's real eyes, still expecting brown instead of purple and green, after so long of him hiding them. The side at the moment though looked nervous and uncertain.
“Just unsure how this will pan out. Your friends make me feel safe, and I’m worried about what would happen if you lose a friend as close as Joan.”
Thomas slowly reached out to put a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, giving him enough time to step away if he wanted. “I’ve known Joan for ages, we’ve known them for ages. They aren’t the type to end a friendship over something like this.” Thomas squeezed his shoulder, but the side still seemed apprehensive. “Hey, if it makes you feel better do you want to stay here? I can ask the others if they want to come back, it’ll be like a sleepover. Except it’s technically only one person.”
“Nah I’d rather be alone in my room after all that arguing. I’ll come up in the morning to lurk about if you want.” Virgil shrugged before sinking out with a two fingered wave.
The next morning though it was Remus who appeared in Thomas’ apartment first. He bothered Thomas a bit while he was editing and threw in some of his own suggestions. He quickly got bored after most were shot down and went down the stairs to find something to do. He started to rummage through the kitchen cabinets, grabbing ingredients at random.
Soon he was trying to create a new, edible, dish out of the ingredients. It was easy to create something most people would puke eating, it took lots of skill and creativity to make something that tastes decent with a mixture of ingredients that would normally curdle stomachs. He had the right ingredients for a very modified stir fry, but he had no idea what to do with the gummy bears.
He bit his hand trying to think. Oh of course! He could melt them down and use them to add a bit of sweetness. Remus loaded the candies into a pot adding a splash of oil so the candy didn’t burn. Once it melted he mixed a small amount into the stir fry sauce. He went to take a bite of the food but froze as he heard the front door open. And unless Thomas cut himself in half and a second Thomas grew from the bloody amputated legs, and threw itself out the window in horror of its own existence, it wasn’t him.
“Oh hey Thomas, did you get my text? Wait are you actually cooking for once, let alone cooking this early?” Joan laughed and kicked off their shoes. They turned to the figure in the kitchen, “Thomas, full offence but, what the fuck are you wearing?” They managed to wheeze out. “You look like someone took Waluigi and prince charming had a baby then threw glitter on it.”
Remus prides himself on never once being at a loss for words, his streak wasn’t dying now. “Thank you that is the goal. It is for a video.” What would Thomas say? “You know you shouldn’t say bad words. And no I did not see your text.”
“Hold up isn’t that the costume you asked me and Taylen to make? The hell dude? You know not to eat in costume, at least put a jacket or something over it if you have too many layers to put back on.” Joan huffed. “And ‘bad words’? You’ve sworn plenty Thomas no point in shaming it now.”
Well at least they don’t suspect him of not being Thomas. “Ah yes you are correct, I will put on a jacket before I eat. Would you like to partake in the meal as well?” Remus was struggling to keep his thoughts to himself. Just pretend it’s like a role in a play, a very boring play with no murder or drugs, and his role was Thomas. He’s a part of Thomas he could act like him, Roman wasn’t the only one with a flair for the dramatics, he introduced himself with a Disney inspired villain song.
Joan looked over his shoulder into the pan. “Depends, whatcha making?”
Remus gave an exasperated sigh. “A quite meager attempt of stir fry. Thom- I don’t even have a wok to work with, let alone all the proper ingredients. But that’s on me I suppose.” He did pick the ingredients at random after all. He doubted it would taste bad, but it sure as hell wasn’t going to be great. Like a one night stand with someone you’d only get with after a few drinks, not the best but satisfactory enough for the time being.
Joan looked at their watch and shrugged. “Why not, I didn’t eat breakfast anyway. Not your typical brunch time food but whatever. I’ll get the plates and silverware since you cooked.” They grabbed two plates and forks and set them on the table. “Go grab something to put over the costume at least. Do you want me to pour you a drink or something?”
What would Thomas drink? He wasn’t able to safely drink mouthwash or cleaning supplies. “Milk is fine.” That’s a normal drink, Patton drank it all the time so it had to be safe. Joan grabbed himself a diet coke and poured a glass of milk. Remus walked up the stairs far enough to be out of Joan’s sight and conjured a robe he’d seen Thomas wear. Hopefully that’d get them off his ass. He made his way back down the stairs after enough time had reasonably passed.
They both sat down drinks and food now on the table. Remus resisted the urge to bite his hand, a habit he had picked up he was bored or nervous or thinking, he did it a lot. If Joan was going to be poisoned Thomas was going to be the one to do it not him. He settled with just eating the food he made. It didn’t taste toxic so that had to be a plus.
Joan took a bite, a bit cautious since they saw an open pack of gummy bears by the stove, along with a few other questionable ingredients. They swallowed and thought for a bit. “Not that bad, good in fact if you consider your past culinary attempts.”
Remus would take it. The two finished their meal in relative silence, Joan occasionally talking about their day so far. The two started to clean up the table. “Imma drink some of your milk, something in that was spicy.” Remus shrugged, he didn’t care he wasn’t the one who bought it. He continued to clean up, that is until he heard Joan gag. “Dude this is practically curdled how old is this? Uck, how did you drink almost a glass of this?”
Remus set the plates in the sink. Well fuck, Remus had half the mind to curse his ability to eat practically anything without ill effect. “Oh? Isn’t it always supposed to taste like that?”
He heard them sputter a few times. “Are you telling me you’ve been-”
They were cut off by another voice from the kitchen. “Sup Remus, Logan said you were up here. I told Thomas I’d come on up in the morning, but apparently he’s editing. So I figured I’d somehow manage to put up with you by myself for the time being.”
Joan turned to the sink where the new voice came from, they didn’t hear anyone come through the door or even down the stairs. They certainly were not expecting a second Thomas clad in a patchwork hoodie. They turned to Remus, who now was biting his hand hard enough to draw blood. “Thomas please tell me the spoiled milk is making me hallucinate and making me see a second you, dressed up as one of your web series characters.”
Virgil’s figure suddenly froze, seemingly not even breathing. He slowly turned around to see Joan staring at the two of them. “You can see us? Why can they see us!?” Virgil put a hand to his chest and closed his eyes, going through his breathing exercises.
Joan was more sure than ever they were hallucinating when another Thomas seemed to appear from thin air. This one was wearing a pink robe, half a face mask, and had scales on the other half. Wasn’t the scales and eye from another one of Thomas’ characters? “Virgil? Remus? Is everything okay, I felt Virgil start to panic.”
Joan could only stare as the scales moved and shone more realistically than any makeup could achieve. “Oh look I’ve officially gone mental.”
Deceit turned to Joan, just noticing they were there. “Oh this *definitely* is normal. Uh, you aren’t really seeing this?” He poked Joan almost as to check if they were the one out of the norm here.
“Oh my god, you just poked me. This is real? Am I dreaming?” Joan put their head in their hands.
“Oh thank fuck I don’t have to pretend to be Thomas anymore. Keeping my thoughts to myself was like denying an orgasm loooong past the acceptable time.” Remus yelled.
“Yes, thank you Remus *very* helpful. We all *really* needed to hear that bit of information.” Deceit smiled, snapping his fingers summoning his hat placing it atop his head.
Joan was about to resume their freak out when steps were heard descending the stairs. Only to reveal a pajama clad Thomas. “What are you three making so much noise for? And Deceit what are you wear-... Oh hey Joan what are you doing here?” His sentence cut off. “Er, don’t mind what I was saying just talking to myself. Something you pointed out I do an unhealthy amount of time doing, which probably isn’t wrong.” Thomas walked past Joan and started to make his second cup of coffee. Pretending there wasn’t three clones of him in his kitchen.
“Hey Sanders might want to check in on your friend, they seem to be in the middle of a mental crisis.” Virgil pointed out. Jerking his head towards Joan who was currently staring at Thomas mouth agape.
“Are you the real Thomas? Or another hallucination and/or dream of him?” Joan squint their eyes.
“The real one? At least last time I checked.” Thomas raised a brow looking down at himself. He looked back at Joan who was now looking at his three sides. “Wait, Joan can you see them?”
“How do I know this isn’t just a dream? Because It certainly seems like it, seeing that there are currently four of you in your kitchen, one with a mustache, one with cat eyes, and one that has a snake face.” Joan threw their arms up.
“Oh I can prove it for you!” Remus laughed summoning his morningstar and raising it above his head.
“RemusNoWait!” Thomas yelled out as both Deceit and Virgil grabbed Remus and held him back.
“Half a snake face thank you very much. Remus just like Thomas,” Deceit gestured to the man in question, “to Joan, death is not just a minor inconvenience that they can shrug off and might leave them a bit sore for the day.”
“Do you know what else leaves you sore for the day?” Remus grinned.
“I am *not* considering both silencing you and taping your hand to your mouth.” Deceit hissed.
It was Joan who spoke up. “Kinky.” They then seemed to realize what they said. “Whichever one of you is the real Thomas I need you to take me to the hospital. I’m talking to hallucinations.”
Thomas scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah about that, they aren’t actually hallucinations…”