Chapter Text
황민현 · @optimushwang
maybe one day ill figure out how to confess but for now im enjoying the fact hes an idiot lol
5:14PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
백호 · @realbaekho
@optimushwang ??????? still the same guy or?
5:16PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
황민현 · @optimushwang
@realbaekho yea lol tf it’s been forever and irdk what to do but! it seems like he hasn’t noticed so w/e
5:17PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
백호 · @realbaekho
@optimushwang oh
5:18PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
It comes to Dongho like an epiphany one afternoon -- while scrolling through his Instagram feed in Minhyun’s dorm room, while his head was on Minhyun’s lap, while Minhyun’s fingers were stroking his hair -- that the only way to get over his stupid crush on his best friend – his best friend who has been in love with the same person, whoever the fuck he is, for three years -- is to actually meet other people.
There was no way he was ever moving on from this crush if he spent too much of his free time basking in the comfort of being in Minhyun’s lap (platonically). He sits up abruptly, causing Minhyun to shoot him a slightly bewildered look.
“So the person you like,” Dongho starts. Minhyun cuts him off.
“Look, you know I hate this topic—”
“Are you even friends?”
“I… guess so?”
“How did you meet?”
“I—I can’t remember,” Minhyun says, blinking rapidly. “And even if I remembered, why do you care? Why are you even asking me these questions?”
“It’s just that you’ve liked this person for a really long time! Which means he’s probably an awesome person! So maybe if I try copying whatever you did, maybe I’d find some new friends too, or something…” Dongho trails off, scratching his head sheepishly. “Sorry, it was kind of stupid.”
Minhyun’s nervous stance gives way to a small smile. “You’re right, he’s a good person… I don’t think you, of all people, would find anyone like him though.”
Dongho tilts his head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Minhyun bursts into full-on guffaws.
백호 · @realbaekho
maybe if @optimushwang stops being so cryptic about his mystery man
7:23PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
황민현 · @optimushwang
@realbaekho then what
7:41PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
백호 · @realbaekho
@optimushwang then i’d know who he is
7:46PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
황민현 · @optimushwang
@realbaekho :p
7:47PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
Minki-yah
Do you think Tinder would help me get over Minhyun
백호 · 8:01PM
why do you want to get over him
have you told him that you liked him
after 100 years
wait did he reject u lol????
렌 · 8:01PM
No
I’m just thinking in advance
I’m trying to meet people
So I can stop breaking my own heart by liking someone who doesn’t like me back
백호 · 8:03PM
tinder is not gonna help you
dumbass
why don’t you just tell him how you feel
렌 · 8:03PM
Because he likes someone else Minki-yah
It’s not worth it
Besides you found Jonghyun there
Can’t be all that bad
백호 · 8:11PM
Look
Tinder is a shitty place
Filled with people like you
렌 · 8:11PM
whats that supposed to mean
백호 · 8:12PM
i don’t think it’s fair for you to be moving on
when you haven’t even tried to get closure
you might end up hurting people that way
렌 · 8:15PM
I’ll be careful
I promise
백호 · 8:31PM
Step one in getting over Hwang Minhyun:
Find new friends.
He never, ever thought that he’d reactivate his Tinder account, but there he was, downloading it from the App store, because he remembered that his other best friend Minki found his boyfriend Jonghyun on that app. Maybe he’d be successful too. Maybe he’d find a boyfriend. Maybe he’d find a new best friend. Maybe not, but at least he wanted to try.
All he really wanted to do is to try and see a world beyond Hwang Minhyun, and if it was going to take the world’s lamest dating app for him to do so – because apparently, his own willpower isn’t enough to get him to say no to all the times Minhyun would ask him out on friendly dates, hangouts in his apartment, study sessions in the library – then he was willing to give it a shot.
백호 · @realbaekho
here goes nothing
8:33PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
렌 · @glorypath
@realbaekho shit
8:34PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
렌 · @glorypath
@realbaekho i told you not to!!!!!!!
8:34PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
렌 · @glorypath
@realbaekho you’re a fucking dumbass!!!!!!!!!
8:35PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
황민현 · @optimushwang
@glorypath @realbaekho yo whats going on?
8:51PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
The setup is quick, his settings from his past short-lived life on Tinder still retained. The checkbox for his preferences (both men and women), the age range he was interested in (no one below 20, and no one above 27), the specific radius in which the app would do its magic. His age, his cheesy biography that says that he was a university student and that he was “23, likes music, long drives, and going to different bakeries” (Minhyun and Minki had laughed at that biography three years ago, because it was so ridiculously cliché, but at least he didn’t lie.) He cringes when he sees his old profile picture but doesn’t bother to take it down. He takes a haphazard selfie and uploads it on the app, along with another Instagram-worthy picture of him against a glowing sunset.
(Minhyun had taken that shot.)
Satisfied, he confirms his settings.
A picture of a scantily-clad girl welcomes him in the home screen. Hyejoo, 25, looking for fun ;)
He immediately, almost aggressively, swipes left.
The thing with the Tinder app is that, well, it’s filled with so many people. And everyone on the app was different. Girls, boys, students from his university, the barista from the café he frequents for his iced americanos. Swiping left and right made him realize that his ideal type wasn’t just whatever characteristic Hwang Minhyun had. Though everyone seemed beautiful, he realized he actually had certain preferences – girls with long hair seemed to appeal to him more, and for men, it seemed like his interest was more piqued whenever they’d say in their biography that they were around six feet tall.
Step two in getting over Hwang Minhyun:
Try to see attractive qualities in non-Minhyun human beings.
He’s stunned when he sees the photo of an extremely pretty girl, and swipes right before he was able to fully digest the text that said ‘Jieqiong, 21, I like dancing and I love my cats :)’
‘Sujin, 24’ gets an instant swipe left, because even if she was freaking cute (not just because she looked exactly like Minhyun) what the hell was Minhyun’s sister doing on Tinder?
‘Bumjoo, 26’ gets a swipe right because even if the pictures made him look short, he had several headshots of him in a music studio. Dongho had always been interested in music production.
Swipe left. Right. Left. Left. It was almost like an addictive game to him, and at some point it felt like he was just playing Temple Run with the speed and the number of swipes he’d been doing. Left. Seokmin has a Tinder account? Left. Left. Cute. Right. Left. Left. Right. It’s a match! Dongho ignores the notification and swipes some more. It’s brainless at this point. A message, Oppa, hi! He swipes instead of replying. Another message: oh shit, I forgot to set it to girls only! Left.
He sees a picture that grinds his mindless swiping to a halt: it’s Minhyun in a long brown coat, standing in front of the autumn-lined streets of Seoul. Minhyun’s hair is dyed a light brown in this picture, so it must have been taken three years ago. He remembers this picture so clearly because he was the one took it.
Minhyun, 23
Just looking around :)
Dongho blinks once, twice. What the hell was Minhyun’s profile doing here?
More importantly: what the hell was he supposed to do with this?
He thinks about swiping left and forgetting that he ever saw that profile. That was the point, right? To forget about Minhyun. To look at the other fish in the sea, to see what the rest of the world had to offer, to have a bit of fun without his crush on his best friend weighing down on him.
But there was the part of him that hated liars, hated lying. As trivial as it was, swiping left on Minhyun’s profile would be a big fat lie, because, well, he was interested in Minhyun, 23, Just looking around :). Heck, his finger even itched to swipe up for a super like, but maybe that would be overkill.
And the profile picture is an old one, so he’s probably inactive, right?
And most importantly: Minhyun didn’t like him back anyway… so he literally had nothing to lose, right?
This, he’s sure of: if he swipes right, nothing will happen.
Because Minhyun wouldn’t have swiped for him, because the sky is blue, because Minhyun has liked the same mystery man for the past three years.
Maybe the lack of a match can serve as my cold, hard, rejection.
It will be okay.
There are other fish in the sea.
Step three in getting over Hwang Minhyun:
To get it over with and get rejected, for fuck’s sake.
Dongho swipes right.
It’s a Match!
You and Minhyun have liked each other!
You can now send him a message using your phone.
백호 · @realbaekho
wait what the fuck
10:25PM · Oct 29, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
Step four in getting over Hwang Minhyun:
why the fuck did we match on tinder what the fuck just happened shit does he know maybe it’s not that serious but what if it is but like this does not make sense nothing makes sense
Baekhobekobaekhobaekhobaekobekodongodonodongoho
My best friend in the entire world
Who does not get enough sleep
Yoyoyoyoyo
Go sleep now!!!!!
Oh youre not replying
GOOD
good night!!!!!
<3
황민현 · 11:13PM
백호 · @realbaekho
i hope your phone notifs are broken
01:21AM · Oct 30, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
백호 · @realbaekho
wish I can turn my brain off for 5 seconds so I can finally fucking fall asleep PLEASE
03:25AM · Oct 30, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone
Step five in getting over Hwang Minhyun:
Just give up.