Chapter Text
namjoo stared dumbfounded, the cup of tea lying forgotten in front of her as she stared at yoonji in confusion.
“that can’t be – i mean, how can you even say – so have you? never…” she asked incoherently.
yoonji blushed until even the tip of her nose was flushed with colour and shrugged in embarrassment. “of course i have,” she insisted. “it just never feels…as good as it does for you.”
namjoo fluttered her hands around in agitation, straightening up and then slouching down again, before finally leaning against the kitchen isle and staring hard at yoonji. “okay, first of all, how the fuck would you know if it feels good for me or not?”
yoonji rolled her eyes. “we’re housemates,” she said emphatically. “whatever… toy you’ve been using is fucking loud as fuck and also? you are loud as fuck. i don’t know what the fuck you were doing to yourself last night, but let me tell you-”
“no, please don’t tell me anything, i beg you,” namjoo amended quickly, cheeks ruddy. “i am so sorry! i honestly thought the walls kept the noise from getting to your room because i never hear anything from your room.”
“that’s because i’m quiet,” yoonji said, deadpan. “and barely move.”
namjoo paused, the line of her mouth quivering with mirth before she burst out laughing. her perfectly sculpted front teeth dug into her bottom lip and yoonji found herself blushing some more.
yoonji buried her face in her hands, groaning. “stop laughing, i’m embarrassed enough that i brought this up!”
“no, no, no,” namjoo said instantly, still grinning. “there is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed of! it’s good that you’re trying to explore yourself more. and i’m really happy that you feel comfortable enough asking me about this.”
yoonji peeked through her fingers and found namjoo staring at her with sincerity. she slowly brought her hands to rest back on the table, looking at namjoo shyly and expectantly.
namjoo smiled back winningly, her dimples extra deep. “okay! so before i give you any advice, let’s get some uncomfortable questions out of the way!” she said and yoonji groaned again, making namjoo giggle. “so when you say orgasms don’t feel too good to you, do you also mean during sex? or just when you’re masturbating?”
the question made yoonji’s heart clench with shame.
the truth was that she had never actually orgasmed during sex, and though she was sure namjoo wouldn’t blame her for it, she couldn’t help but feel like there was something wrong with her body.
she scratched the inside of her wrist nervously, unsure how to admit it to namjoo without making all her ex-boyfriends sound like incompetent lovers.
“uh, i…” she said, hoping namjoo would understand without the words. “never…”
namjoo titled her head in question.
yoonji swallowed nervously, scrunching her nose in agitation. “i’ve never…orgasmed with someone else,” she admitted.
namjoo’s first expression was hilariously of alarm – eyes wide, eyebrows frowning in disbelief – but she quickly schooled it into a neutral expression. “oh…okay. fair enough,” she said faintly, in a tone that suggested that it wasn’t okay at all. “what about alone? you have orgasmed then, right?”
“yes, but it feels…forced? like, i have to force myself to feel good,” yoonji replied.
namjoo frowned. “are you actually aroused when you try to masturbate? like, are you wet?”
yoonji sputtered at how forward her roommate was being. “yes!” she nearly shouted in mortification. “but. i don’t know, i think i get too distracted by the logistics of it all and then i’m not as into it anymore.”
“okay, so this is going to be hella intrusive-”
“isn’t this whole conversation intrusive?”
“-but how do you masturbate?”
“excuse me?”
“i told you it was gonna be intrusive!” namjoo protested, ears flaming red. “but i swear that it’s important! and relevant!”
“how?”
“well, every body is different,” namjoo started slowly and it would have been funny that they were both just choosing not to comment on each other’s embarrassed, red faces if the situation wasn't so fucking awkward. “some people can orgasm only with clitoral stimulation and some people can only orgasm through penetration and some people can orgasm through both and some-”
“yes, got it. everybody has different ways that work for them.”
“exactly! so which way do you think works best for you?”
yoonji stared at namjoo’s hands while she thought.
the honest answer would be that nothing worked for her. mercilessly rubbing her clit didn’t work, her ex-boyfriend’s perfectly nice penis didn’t work, nothing ever worked for her.
she sighed. “i think my vagina’s broken,” she admitted sadly and namjoo frowned.
“let’s try some things out before we reach for such conclusions, okay?” namjoo said. “have you ever used any sex toys before?” yoonji shook her head, and namjoo nodded and clapped her hands together. “let me get my laptop. first order of business is getting you a cute little helper.”
yoonji took a deep breath as namjoo skidded away in her socked feet into her bedroom.
she felt like her body was buzzing with a feeling she had never felt before. it was a weird mixture of excitement, shame and complete and utter humiliation that was making her feel like was going to throw up any moment. her hands felt jittery and her heart was bruising the inside of her ribs with anticipation.
she didn’t know what sort of blind stupidity had led her to this.
yoonji wasn’t a very sexual person in general and she had spent her whole life being completely accepting of the fact that she just wasn’t as insatiably horny as other people her age.
and then the night before had happened.
the day leading up to The Night had been almost perfect. for once in her life, she had woken up from an invigorating sleep just in time to revise and review for her applied statistics exam. her exam actually went well and she felt so energized that she decided to hang out with her friends after classes for the day were over. she’d had an overall successful day.
all she needed was to fall asleep at exactly 8pm so she could get twelve hours of sleep before the start of the next day and she could then categorize the day as perfect.
but she woke up from a dreamless sleep to stare at a blazing red 9:38pm displayed on her alarm clock.
she frowned in confusion, unsure of how or why she had woken before 8am, before she heard it - the soft buzz of what she had learnt over time was the sound of namjoo’s sex toy.
she huffed in irritation and pulled her pillows on top of her head to try to drown out the sound of the toy, but of course, namjoo just had to make things harder for her.
a loud moan echoed through the silence of their apartment, and goosebumps erupted up yoonji’s spine and down her legs.
“fuck, oh my god,” namjoo moaned, followed by a loud whimper.
yoonji shivered underneath her thick blankets and cursed herself for wearing shorts to bed.
the buzzing increased and so did namjoo’s soft sounds.
wide awake now, yoonji imagined what namjoo must look like in her bed. from the sounds of it, she was definitely writhing in her sheets - her mattress squeaking every so often under the weight of her body. yoonji wondered if she was naked or if she just had a hand down her underwear, like she herself did when she wanted to quickly get off before bed.
maybe she had her t-shirt on - the one that she always wore to bed, the one that was too big on her tall but slight frame, the one that always slipped off her shoulders, the one that just barely touched the tops of her caramel thighs - and maybe it was the only thing she had on. maybe she was wearing the black lacey panties she liked to wear on nights she wanted to get laid.
yoonji imagined namjoo in bed, one hand under her t-shirt - the one that was worn so thin that yoonji could see the peaks of namjoo’s nipples whenever she wore it - playing with her tits, one hand holding a vibrator to her clit, panties pulled to the side. she imagined the vibrator - blue, for some reason - drenched in her juices as it pulsed against her just right, imagined namjoo arching nearly off the bed in pleasure - eyes shut, mouth open.
yoonji huffed out another breath, this time a breath of defeat, and pulled her pillow under her head again, staring at her ceiling in contempt.
her fingers ran in circles where they rested against the tops of her thighs. she swallowed at how electric her touch felt this close to her core. she could feel how wet she was just inches away, how her underwear clinged to her where she was most sensitive.
“ah!” namjoo exclaimed, her voice somehow dim through the walls, but magnified by the silence.
yoonji hit her head against her pillow - once, twice, thrice. “fuck,” she muttered. “fuck it all to hell,” she said, stuffing her hand down her shorts and gasping softly when her finger dipped into the wetness.
her clit felt stiff under her wet fingers, soft and hard at the same time. she bit hard into the skin of her other hand to keep her sounds to herself, hearing namjoo’s bed squeaking again. she rubbed at her clit desperately, too tired to be bothered with anything more elaborate than a quick clit massage.
“mmff, so good,” namjoo voiced next door and yoonji teared up from the feeling of her own teeth digging into her flesh. “so good, so close. ah! so close, oh my god.”
yoonji sped up her movements till she was right alongside namjoo, just at the tip of falling.
her orgasm rolled over her just like it always did, suddenly and quietly. her thighs tensed around her hand till she couldn’t move anymore and the knot inside her tummy came undone.
just a wall away, namjoo keened high and pretty, her voice quickly melting into quick panting.
“fuck,” namjoo said one last time, followed by the sound of something being dropped to the floor.
yoonji melted back into her bed, just conscious enough to hear namjoo make her way to the bathroom while she went back to sleep in her mess.
the next morning, all yoonji could think about was the sounds that namjoo made as she brought herself to orgasm. how mind-shattering her experience seemed to be, compared to her own mechanical method. it wasn’t the first time she had heard namjoo masturbate or cum, but it was the first time that she just couldn’t get it out of her head.
and then, in her sleepy exhaustion of only seven hours of sleep, she had blurted out that she didn’t think sex or orgasms were all they were made out to be in the middle of breakfast.
she didn’t really remember how the conversation had traveled to her own sexual incompetence, but she certainly despised the journey.
before she could spiral further into a loophole of anxiety and excitement, namjoo was skidding back into the kitchen, seating herself right next to yoonji.
she placed her laptop between the two, grinning at yoonji when the older’s eyes widened at what was displayed on the screen.
yoonji swallowed thickly. “i didn’t know amazon provided these services,” she said neutrally.
namjoo giggled, and yoonji found herself calming down just a smidge. “well, i thought that until we figure out what sort of toys work best for you, it’s best to keep things cheap,” she commented. “the stuff i use is much more expensive, but it is also better quality.”
“no, cheap is good,” yoonji said, unable to take her eyes off a thing that vaguely looked like a cactus, but bright pink. “how the hell does a person use that thing?” she asked.
namjoo pointed at the longer and thicker branch of the cactus-looking object. “that goes inside,” she said, before sliding her finger down to the smaller branch, “and that goes on your clit.”
“oh,” yoonji said and for some reason, her mouth was watering.
the “yes” that namjoo uttered was both shy and soft, and yoonji couldn’t help but turn to see what expression accompanied such a soft sound.
namjoo was someone who barely ever initiated conversation - the reason why they had harmoniously been housemates for three long years - but whenever she spoke to yoonji, it felt like a gift. there was something about her expressions and her words and her gestures that just fell perfectly in the spaces between her ribs. every conversation with namjoo was etched into her insides, had found its place inside her soul and yoonji knew she was going to keep them with her till the day she died.
now, looking at namjoo with her shoulders pulled in in shyness, pouty mouth bitten by her perfect teeth and the apples of her cheeks rosy, yoonji could only smile softly and scribble the moment into the walls of her heart. it was a sight she wanted to remember forever.
“i don’t think it’s the right toy for you though, unnie,” namjoo said, quickly typing something in the search bar. an array of brightly coloured, tiny airpod case-looking things popped onto the screen. namjoo scrolled till she landed on the ones she was looking for. “this is a bullet vibrator. it was my first toy as well. i think it would be a first good sex toy for you as well.”
“what does it do?” yoonji asked, turning fully to face namjoo.
sex toys might be new to yoonji, but she knew exactly what bullet vibrators were. she had watched enough porn to be familiar with them, but she just wanted to hear namjoo describe them to her, just to watch her squirm.
“ah,” namjoo said softly, and yoonji watched the soft, pink and wet gape of her mouth in fascination. “it’s really simple. there are two in this pack so - well, what i used to do was to put it around, um,” she stuttered off, swallowing quickly, eyes nervously tracking to yoonji to see her reaction, “put it either on the sides of my clit, or i would put one on my clit and the other on my, um, my hole?”
yoonji exhaled quietly, sitting straighter to suppress the shudder going up her spine. “your hole?”
namjoo bit her lip and whined, a soft, delicious sound, frowning at yoonji in disapproval. “unnie, you know what i mean!”
yoonji smirked, finally feeling like herself again. “do i?” she asked, an eyebrow raised in challenge and the blush on namjoo’s cheeks turned vibrant. “there are two holes i can think of that are just centimetres apart, namjoo.”
namjoo rolled her eyes emphatically and fiddled with her laptop as she answered, “my vagina-hole. not my asshole, you asshole.”
yoonji laughed so hard, she nearly toppled off the kitchen stool. “that’s no way to speak to your elders, you brat,” she said, eyes dancing in mirth. “fine, let’s order my first ever sex toy.”
namjoo smiled brightly. “next day delivery?” she questioned.
“next day delivery,” yoonji confirmed.
*
when yoonji stepped out of her bedroom, face red and undies soaked with arousal, she found namjoo sitting cross-legged right outside her door. her face lit up in excitement when she saw yoonji step out, wide eyes and a wide smile turning up towards her.
yoonji frowned. “were you listening, you perv?” she said, with as much emotion as she could muster after yet another sub-par orgasm.
“music,” she said, pointing at the earphones still in her ears. “did it work? has your life been changed forever?”
yoonji sighed and sat down cross-legged right in front of namjoo, shivering a little at how cold the wooden floor felt against her bare legs. “not really,” she said, and namjoo’s mouth fell at the corners. “it was actually worse than usual somehow. like, it took me so long to come and i couldn’t come till i used my hand.”
namjoo’s eyes turned from disappointed to...to something else, as her eyes quickly darted down to her fingers and back again, ears turning red. yoonji blushed as well. she had cleaned up as best as she could with tissues and sanitizer, but there wasn’t much she could do about her pruney fingers until she could be allowed to shower.
“maybe you’re just not sensitive externally,” namjoo concluded, already tapping away at the phone in her hand.
“maybe,” yoonji agreed, shrugging. “i did both the things you told me about.” namjoo looked up at that, licking her lips in interest and anticipation. yoonji looked away and scratched at the tip of her nose awkwardly. “the clit thing didn’t work at all,” she said. “the vibrations weren’t strong enough. but, um, when i put it on my - my hole...it felt...nice.”
namjoo licked over her bottom lip again, leaving it glossy. “nice?”
yoonji nodded, heart thumping loudly at the sudden tension in the air between them. her knee felt warm where it was touching namjoo’s and yoonji idly wondered what it would feel like to have her entire leg pressed against namjoo’s.
“nice,” she repeated and heard the click of her throat as namjoo swallowed. her finger drew patterns into the skin of her own thigh, just to have something to do. “i wanted to put it in,” she admitted softly.
of course the stimulation had felt nice, but there was more.
more that yoonji couldn’t admit quite yet.
namjoo sighed softly, the breath shuddering as it left her mouth. “i’m gonna order you another vibrator. you remember the first one you saw?” namjoo said, turning her eyes back to her phone.
“the cactus?” yoonji asked curiously, and namjoo’s eyes lit up with fond amusement.
“that’s what i call it as well!” she said happily and yoonji just smiled.
as disappointing as her foray into sex toys had been, she couldn’t wait to continue experimenting with namjoo.
*
the evening of the bullet vibrator day found yoonji and namjoo dressed to the nines, ready for a night of drinking and eating.
“i think food crawls are so much better than pub crawls,” jimin said and jin raised his glass to that. “that way we actually get to talk and catch up while stuffing ourselves full.”
“also, i don’t care what you budding alcoholics have to say in this,” tae added, “but alcohol always has and always will taste like ass. don’t even know why you guys drink that nasty stuff.”
“some of us are just into ass-eating, tae,” hoseok said, arm wrapped lazily around a gently drunk and cuddly jin. “and it’s incredibly homophobic of you to talk about ass-eating in a negative light.”
tae stuck out her tongue at hoseok. “let’s put it to vote,” she suggested. “everyone for food crawl, raise your hand!” jimin, jin, namjoo and tae all raised their hands and tae whooped in joy. “there you go, gay boy.”
hoseok sputtered into his drink, snorting out a laugh, and yoonji smiled fondly at her idiots.
she loved being around her friends, loved how comfortable she felt around them, even though she was so completely different from them.
yoonji had been best-friends with jin since her first year at university, and through her friendship with jin, she had become friends with his boyfriend, hoseok. hoseok and yoonji bonded over their mutual love of music, and that’s when hoseok decided to introduce her to namjoo.
within their first meeting, namjoo and yoonji had developed an incredible amount of trust and respect for each other. even though she was two years older than namjoo, she found the younger’s drive and passion so inspiring that every conversation with her only created motivation inside her own heart. soon enough, namjoo moved into yoonji’s apartment so that her younger sister, tae, could have her own apartment with her long-term girlfriend, jimin.
jungkook joined them last - as shy and introverted as he was, it didn’t take him long to adapt to their group of friends and quickly, he became a permanent member of their little mishmash of a group.
they all knew each other in different capacities - some as friends, some as lovers, some as siblings - but they loved and cared for each other immensely. it was what kept them together even though they barely got to see each other between work and classes.
“noona,” hoseok said, one hand still somewhere on jin and the other hand on his barely-sipped-at beer, “how is your song coming along? namjoo told me that you were having some trouble with the bridge.”
it was shameful that it took yoonji a few, solid moments to remember what song hoseok was talking about.
truth be told, ever since her talk with namjoo at the kitchen table, yoonji had completely forgotten about the song and the creases in her forehead that it had caused.
yoonji sighed, slumping against the back of her chair. “yeah,” she drawled, fingers drawing patterns into the condensation of her glass of water with ice. “it’s not the bridge that’s giving me trouble,” she said, “there’s just something off about it. i can’t pin it down, but there’s something that just isn’t lining up.”
warmth on the skin of her thigh and yoonji looked down to see namjoo’s elegant and delicate hand resting comfortingly on top of her thigh. there was a glinting ring around her middle finger, the band of it cold against her suddenly warm skin.
“it’s okay, unnie,” namjoo said. she was sprawled in her chair as well, her dark hair falling around her face, framing it like it was a picture worth displaying. when she smiled, yoonji’s eyes strayed to the strand of hair that ended perfectly in the centre of namjoo’s right dimple. “we all have our slumps,” she continued. “i’m sure you’ll figure this one out. don’t stress about it.”
yoonji shrugged. “can’t help but stress about it,” she replied and hoseok made an understanding sound. “i’m sorry if i’ve been stressing you out with it though.”
namjoo looked at her for just a second too long before forcing her eyes away, staring at the table as she huffed out a laugh. “can’t help but stress about it,” she quoted her, not meeting yoonji’s gaze, “when you don’t eat your meals.”
“sorry, mom,” yoonji said, pitching her voice high and annoying.
namjoo rolled her eyes, looking back at her. “you need your nourishment to grow, yoonji,” she said, motherly.
yoonji flicked her in the middle of her forehead and said, “still your unnie, you little turd.”
namjoo giggled, placing her hand right back on top of her thigh and squeezing in a silent apology. yoonji breathed out softly and calmingly through her nose, choosing not to think too hard about how electrified she felt with namjoo’s bare skin on hers, with namjoo’s fingers pressed so close to where she was melting.
next to her, hoseok elbowed her in the ribs and giggled.
thankfully, before he could make any comments, jin was yelling, “everyone to the dance floor!”
jimin, who had spent most of their night out with her tongue inside tae’s mouth, giggled right into her girlfriend’s mouth. “dance floor!” she yelled back at jin, pressing another quick, small kiss to tae’s lips like she just couldn’t help it before dragging her into the crowd of writhing bodies.
namjoo looked on fondly, until her eyes turned to saucers, realizing tae had a firm grip around her wrist. “not me,” she said, panicked. “i can’t dance!”
“just do your thing, unnie,” tae said with a grin, pulling insistently. “doesn’t have to look good.”
yoonji knew namjoo was going to give in before the younger herself realized it. she always gave in when it came to her little sister. namjoo was far too good of an older sister to deny tae even the smallest dose of happiness, even at the expense of her own comfort and dignity.
hoseok grabbed jungkook around the waist and pulled him out as well. “no way am i going to let me favourite dancer just sit around,” he commented, frog-marching jungkook away.
“boo, you whore,” jin said with an eye roll, chucking peanuts at his boyfriend.
“hyung, i love you, but i’m not blind and you dance like you have a 12-inch dildo up your ass,” hoseok said before quickly ducking away from more peanuts.
“you wish i had a 12-incher up my ass,” jin replied.
“no,” hoseok said once he was out of range, eyes glinting with mirth. “you wish you had a 12-incher up your-”
“do i really have to be here for this conversation?” jungkook asked, eyes dead and body still caught in hoseok’s tight embrace.
yoonji laughed at her friends’ antics, relaxing back into her chair and sipping on her water. being designated driver sucked, but it also meant that she was sober enough to remember all of these little moments that she could rewind to on her bad days.
jin shook his head next to her. his ears were red, eyes shaped into little hearts and his mouth curved into the cutest smile.
yoonji bumped his shoulder softly, and jin huffed a laugh.
“don’t,” he warned, not meeting her eyes.
“you love him,” yoonji teased, far from intimidated. “you want to put a bigass ring on his finger. you want him to impregnate you with his spermies.”
“disgusting,” jin said, gagging. “don’t put your het thoughts on my relationship, please. we deserve much more than that.”
yoonji laughed, leaning her head on jin’s shoulder. “sorry,” she said. “but you do love him. like disgusting amounts. it’s so obvious, i can smell it.”
jin just hummed and yoonji grinned wider.
coming from jin, just a hum meant a big, grand and elaborate confession.
it was serendipitous that two people so well-suited to each other had managed to find each other in a world of billions. they were both perfectly matched contradictions - both seemingly loud extroverts that actually preferred their own quiet company than anything else in the world, both seemingly nice, harmless dudes who would actually kill for their loved ones.
“you need to get your shit together,” yoonji mumbled. “put a ring on it before i do it for you.”
jin tensed a little before he said quietly, “i think he’s gonna beat me to it.”
yoonji frowned, sitting up to stare at jin’s dopey, smiley face. “what.”
grinning, jin asked, “promise you won’t tell anyone?”
“i swear on holly i will never breathe a word to anyone,” yoonji said passionately.
jin licked his lip, eyes darting around before he said, “i found a box. in his underwear drawer.”
yoonji’s eyeballs nearly dropped right out of the sockets. “a ring box?” she confirmed.
jin nodded rapidly, squeaking a little in excitement. “what a fucking fool though, honestly. thinking i won’t go through his underwear when we share boxers.”
“you - are you fucking - ew!”
“oh please,” jin waved it off, rolling his eyes. “we’ve had our mouths on each others’ dicks and assholes, underwear sharing is okay at this point.”
“i hate you,” yoonji said, deadpan. then she grinned. “congratulations, dude. finally, huh? it’s been a long time coming.”
“i know, right?” jin said, his smile softening. “i bought a ring the very next day and i’ve been carrying it with me since. i’m gonna whip it out the minute he tries to ask me to marry him.”
yoonji rolled her eyes. “literally, why would you do that.”
“bitch thinks he can one-up me?” seokjin said, tone bewildered. “only in his fucking dreams.”
“just ask him first then, why wait for him to ask you…”
“kim seokjin? ask someone first?” jin said loudly, his voice gaining more and more flair with every word. “i don’t care if it’s hoseok and his cute ass, i’m not admitting defeat first.”
yoonji decided just not to question it and leaned back down on jin’s shoulder. “you’re a weirdo, but i’m happy for you both. i love your love.”
“you could have your own love to love if you took your head out of your ass once in a while,” jin commented pleasantly.
“what does that mean,” yoonji said more than questioned, before realizing that she didn’t want an answer. not really.
jin paused dramatically, taking a huge sip of his beer, before he turned his pensive eyes to yoonji. “so what’s going on with you and namjoo?” he asked.
yoonji halted. “stop,” she said firmly. “i don’t like what you’re insinuating right now.”
“yoonji…” jin said with a sigh.
“no,” yoonji enunciated harshly, putting distance between herself and jin.
jin did that sometimes, insinuating that yoonji might not be as heterosexual as she believed herself to be, and yoonji hated it every single time.
she wasn’t in denial like hoseok had been before coming out, she wasn’t stewing in internalized homophobia like tae had been years ago, and she didn’t have shitty, unaccepting parents like jin did. she hadn’t experienced anything close to what her friends had experienced on their journey of self-discovery, and she hated jin’s insinuations that she didn’t know herself well enough.
she especially hated it when jin dragged namjoo into it.
she didn’t feel gay things. she just wasn’t attracted to her boyfriends for longer than a week.
that was all.
“fine,” jin admitted a tense second later. “but i’m not gonna stop pushing. i’ll catch you off-guard one day.”
“fuck off,” yoonji said unkindly. jin was her best friend, yes, but that didn’t mean she didn’t hate him.
“hey,” jin said, pushing himself close to her again. “don’t be mad. i have to do this. because of the-”
“gay agenda,” yoonji finished for him, “yes, yes, i remember.”
*
yoonji teetered precariously into the house, namjoo’s swaying weight crushing and soothing against her.
“just a few more steps,” she assured the drunk girl. “few more steps and you’ll be in your big, comfy bed.”
“bed?” namjoo asked, somehow completely coherent for someone who could barely stand up straight.
“bed,” yoonji reassured. “the thing you’ve been whining about for an hour straight now.”
“mm, love bed,” namjoo said, “m’ best frien’. bed.”
yoonji carefully guided her drunk friend into her room.
the journey from namjoo’s bedroom door to her bed was a treacherous one even while sober. the floor was a maze of slippery, silky clothes, music equipment and random paperclips that namjoo had injured herself on multiple times but still couldn’t contain to her desk. thankfully, a boobytrap floor meant that her bed was always clean because namjoo pushed the mess on her bed off onto the floor all the time.
yoonji lugged namjoo in, carefully swiping her foot in front of them to make sure the pathway was cleared of any injurious materials. “almost there, almost there,” she chanted under her breath as she led the way.
she tried her best to carefully lower namjoo onto the bed, but they were barely in reach when namjoo redirected her weight and plonked heavily onto her mattress, bouncing a few times before settling.
yoonji sighed, reaching forward to unbutton namjoo’s jeans so she could at least breathe in her sleep.
“take ‘em off,” namjoo mumbled and yoonji froze. “don’t wanna wear jeans to sleep. take ‘em off.”
“namjoo,” yoonji breathed out, unsure what to do.
while she absolutely didn’t mind helping her friend out of her jeans so she could sleep comfortably, she also didn’t want sober-namjoo to be embarrassed or worse, mad at her for complying with her drunken demands.
namjoo pushed her hair out of her face carelessly, blinking her glittering, big eyes at yoonji. “please,” she whispered and something quietened inside yoonji’s mind completely. “unnie,” namjoo uttered softly into the silent night.
yoonji took a metaphoric brush and painted the sight of a delicate, blushy namjoo whispering ‘unnie’ into the walls of her heart. she would choose a frame for it later at night, before going to sleep.
“unnie, please,” namjoo pleaded, shifting to her side.
yoonji took one look at her cheek squished against the bed and decided she didn’t stand a chance.
“okay, but you better not be embarrassed about this in the morning,” she warned, leaning over the bed, one knee resting next to namjoo’s thigh on the bed.
“kay,” namjoo answered happily. she raised her hips up helpfully and easily as yoonji tried to pull her skin-tight jeans off.
the jeans came off her hips stubbornly, and yoonji gasped at the sight underneath.
cheeks warm with a blush, yoonji chuckled awkwardly, keeping her eyes averted. “looks like someone was hoping to get laid tonight,” she commented lightly.
namjoo made a questioning sound before leaning to look down at her black, lace panties. yoonji swallowed drily, dragging her eyes away from the lace front, namjoo’s soft skin so obviously visible underneath the intricate patterns.
namjoo flopped back bonelessly into the bed and tried her best to look alluring and not dead. “night’s still young,” she said.
yoonji rolled her eyes, struggling to pull the jeans down namjoo’s sculpted thighs. “you perpetually horny little lesbian,” she teased and namjoo whined, kicking her feet. “stop moving or these will never come off. god, how did you even get them on?”
“unnie,” namjoo said, whiny and begging for attention.
“what,” yoonji responded.
she finally pulled the jeans off namjoo’s feet in a flourish, brandishing them off somewhere on the messy cupboard-floor.
“unnie, look at me,” namjoo commanded.
yoonji did, helpless to deny such a pretty girl with such a pretty voice.
her heart stuttered in its cage. namjoo always looked beautiful, but there was something absolutely otherworldly in the way she glowed in the moonlight.
“what,” yoonji repeated from somewhere outside her body.
namjoo dragged her body to the edge of her bed, getting as close as she possibly could to yoonji without toppling off the bed. she pulled her naked legs towards her chest, one arm under her head and her hair forming a dark halo around her.
yoonji leaned closer, unable to resist the pull like the waves to their moon. “what?” she asked again.
namjoo’s tongue flicked out to wet her lips until they were shining just like the rest of her body. yoonji followed the movement with her eyes and thought, her lips look very comfortable.
“are you sure you’re straight?” namjoo asked.
yoonji tore her eyes away from namjoo’s red lips with great reluctance, and tilted her head in thought. “pretty sure. why?” she questioned, unsure why everyone was constantly questioning her sexuality.
namjoo’s eyes trailed up her body in a slow appraisal as she slowly bit into her bottom lip. when her eyes met yoonji’s again, she breathed out slowly and clenched her thighs together subtly.
“no reason,” she replied, a heavy weight resting in between the syllables.
yoonji stumbled into her own room in a daze, changed into her night suit on automatic and didn’t return to herself till she had safely tucked herself into her pile of blankets.
her brain buzzed like a bee hive inside her skull.
it wasn’t that she didn’t want to be gay or that she had anything against homosexuality. all her closest friends were gay, in which gay was an umbrella term for anything and everything non-straight and non-cis, and she had never had a problem with it.
it was just that she had never thought that she might be anything other than straight.
yoonji thought back to her ex-boyfriends, all of whom had lasted only a few weeks before turning into friends with benefits. the sex arrangement would usually last another couple weeks before yoonji would just cut them off, completely bored with the sex that seemed more like a chore than a fun pastime.
they had all been good men, but it made her uncomfortable how their romantic interest in her was completely disproportionate to her own interest in them. while they were good people, they weren’t people that she could stand for more than thirty-minutes at a time, and she concluded that she just wasn’t built for long-term relationships.
her romantic and sexual interest in people was pretty much negligible, and she had decided not to stress about it.
but she had never thought that her uninterest in the men in her life meant that she might not be straight. growing up, she had never questioned her sexuality because straight was the default.
yoonji sighed, turning in her bed as she thought back to the bullet vibrator.
the honest, uncensored truth was that the toy truly hadn’t done much for her at all. the stimulation had felt nice at her entrance, but it didn’t nearly stimulate her enough to make her come.
but a quick flash of a thought - namjoo used this on herself too - and she was tripping headfirst into an orgasm.
did that mean that she wasn’t straight?
*
a miracle happened halfway into the week - yoonji figured out what was wrong with the song.
she locked herself inside her room; curtains closed, headphones on and back scrunched over her computer uncomfortably.
her ears tinged to be freed from the constraint of the headphones, but yoonji was on a mission to finish the god-forsaken song in one go because she knew that if she lost inspiration now, she would never get it back.
inspiration was a flighty lover. it refused to show up when she begged and prayed for it, but knocked at her door, unannounced, when she is ready to give up and move on.
she squinted at her screen, eyes tearing up as she tried to mellow down the piano in the background of her song. the piano would always remain her first love, but sadly, it wasn’t the feature of this song. the star of this song was jimin’s delicate voice, wrapped around a symphony of instruments, and she wanted to make sure that it shined as brightly as the sun.
a hand at her shoulder jolted her out of her reverie and she screamed at the sudden movement, ripping her headphones off.
namjoo stood giggling behind her, holding a bowl of instant ramen. “hi,” she said through her giggles.
yoonji placed a hand over her stomping heart, trying to get it settled down. “you scared the shit out of me,” she said and namjoo grinned unabashedly. yoonji blinked rapidly to make up for all the time she had spent staring at her screen unblinkingly and stretched her arms over her head, hearing satisfying pops in her joints. “what’re you doin’ here?” she asked through a yawn.
“brought you ramen,” namjoo said, offering up the bowl.
yoonji’s stomach growled at the smell of the food and she accepted the bowl graciously. “oh my god, there’s egg garnish!” she said with a laugh and namjoo smiled back as she settled down cross-legged on top of yoonji’s bed, inches away from yoonji’s feet. yoonji heaped a large mouthfull of delicious, spicy noodles into her mouth and groaned at the heavenly taste. “so. good,” she declared emphatically.
“glad you like it,” namjoo said with a big smile and a small bow. “i’m assuming the song is going well. you’ve been locked in here all day.”
“yes, it’s coming along well,” yoonji said through slurps. “i figured out what was wrong with it. the bridge was weak. it needed more...funk.”
namjoo raised an expressive brow. “funk?”
“i’m hungry,” yoonji responded simply and namjoo laughed again.
namjoo threw herself back onto yoonji’s bed, drawing yoonji’s gaze up and down the pretty curves of her body. “when do you think it will be done?”
“another week or so,” yoonji said and namjoo whooped. “i just have to finalize a few things and then it should be ready for you to hear.”
“can’t wait,” namjoo said, and yoonji knew she meant it with full sincerity. “sorry if i’m disturbing you. i know you hate your creative process being interrupted.”
yoonji shook her head. “i was heading for a break anyway,” she lied. “the muscles in my neck are frozen. i need to relax.”
namjoo’s smile turned a little sharp at the edges, eyes glinting with mischief as she said, “i have the perfect gift for you for optimal relaxation.”
“what?”
“your cactus vibe got delivered,” she said impishly and yoonji couldn’t help the excitement she felt at the news. “are you excited to use it?”
“so excited,” yoonji admitted. she shovelled her noodles into her mouth faster, making namjoo laugh. “is it from amazon again?” she asked because she hadn’t participated in the purchase of the toy this time, giving namjoo sole powers over it because she was more educated in the matter.
“nope,” namjoo said. “this one is a bit more high-end and it is my absolute favourite. if this doesn’t make you come your brains out of your nose, i don’t know what will.”
yoonji snorted. “don’t know if i want to come my brains out. i need my brains.”
namjoo quietened for a minute, before speaking up shyly. “unnie, would it be wildly inappropriate if i made a suggestion?” she asked, tucking her hair behind her ear like a medieval maiden.
yoonji found herself inexplicably charmed. “everything about our relationship has turned stupidly inappropriate, so why not.”
“do you, um, do you watch porn when you masturbate?”
“uuuuuh.”
it was honestly a funny story.
a long, confusing story that concluded a little like this: yes, yoonji watched porn. in fact, she watched a questionable amount of porn. and since the year 2012, when yoonji had been rooming with a hoseok-less seokjin who had still been a crusader for the gay agenda and decided to help open up her options a bit, she exclusively watched lesbian porn only.
her reasoning was this: heterosexual porn was made for the male gaze and dehumanized the girl so much that she just couldn’t stand it.
her reasoning was this: lesbian porn, while also mostly made for the male gaze, featured women and yoonji really liked looking at women.
for artistic purposes only. obviously.
“you don’t have to answer that,” namjoo added quickly when yoonji took a minute too long to answer. “i’m sorry if i crossed a line.”
yoonji waved her apology off. “you’re fine,” she said. “what’s your suggestion, namjoo?”
namjoo bit her lip before squeezing a hand into the back pocket of her jeans. she pulled out a bear-shaped pendrive, because of course namjoo would own a bear shaped pendrive, and pushed it towards yoonji.
yoonji took a careful breath in. “what’s in this, namjoo?” she asked softly.
cheeks flushed, namjoo answered, “my carefully curated porn collection.” a pause. “i made a special folder just for you that has all my straight porn.”
exhale. “okay.”
“okay?”
yoonji nodded, refusing to look at namjoo as she reached out to grab the pendrive.
another elongated pause and yoonji questioned, “you watch straight porn?”
namjoo shrugged. “i just ignore the man.”
yoonji cracked a smile and the tension between them eased just a little. “so just like real life then.”
namjoo giggled. “exactly.”
*
it wasn’t that the vibe was useless or that the porn didn’t help.
yoonji was wet like a river between her legs, her thighs slippery like someone had buttered them up. on her laptop screen, the woman was moaning loudly as she fucked herself down on a dildo. yoonji pushed the black vibrator deeper inside her, sighing softly as it buzzed away inside her, the smaller section vibrating against her clit.
she tried slowing it down, turning up the intensity, tried fucking herself harder, tried riding it like a cock, but nothing worked. and the longer it took her to truly feel as good as the woman on the screen, the worse she felt about the whole situation.
maybe her vagina truly was broken.
“maybe the whole earth-shattering pleasure narrative is just a lie," she said. "maybe you and all of those pornstars feel the same level of pleasure as i do, but you all are just louder about it.”
namjoo made a frustrated sound in her throat. “no, if you felt the same level of pleasure that i do out of sex or masturbation, then you wouldn’t have said that orgasms were overrated. orgasms are the only good thing on earth.”
yoonji pouted, stabbing her spoon into her bowl full of rice. “i think i just have a faulty vagina. should i try taking female viagra or something?”
“no, i just - ” namjoo started and stopped. she looked frustrated, like her thoughts were running faster than her tongue could catch up with. “show me how you do it.”
yoonji choked on her mouthful, eyes watering as she glared at namjoo through the tears. “what!” she yelled.
undeterred by yoonji’s shock, namjoo stuck her chin out stubbornly. “show me how you fuck yourself,” she elaborated as if yoonji had simply been too slow to catch her meaning the first time. “maybe you just need me to teach you how to do it right.”
“no!” yoonji protested. “i’m not showing you my pussy! are you drunk?”
“why not?” namjoo demanded, a whine caught in her throat, like a child being denied her favourite toy. “i’ve seen you naked so many times before.”
“not with my legs spread, you haven’t,” yoonji said, scandalized. “besides, you’re a lesbian. i don’t want you to see me naked and get turned on during what is supposed to be an educational experience, apparently.”
namjoo rolled her eyes. “fine,” she said, just a little bratty. “you can see me fuck myself. you’re a hetty, right? so you shouldn’t get turned on if i showed you my pussy and our ‘experience’ can remain educational.”
yoonji’s entire body was burning with a blush and her brain seemed three seconds away from whiting out completely. she didn’t know how they had even reached this point and too flustered to continue protesting, just yelled, “okay!”
namjoo smiled, pleased, before yoonji’s words seemed to properly catch up to her. her smile slipped off her face and her jaw dropped open. “o-okay?” she confirmed and yoonji nodded through her embarrassment. “um, okay. i...after shower tonight?”
yoonji stuffed a mouthful of meat and rice into her mouth and mumbled an affirmative. namjoo stuffed her mouth just as full and looked away.
they ate quickly after that, shovelling food into their mouths and pushing it down with gulps of water.
yoonji was done in under two minutes, quickly pushing off the chair with her dishes grasped tightly in her hands. she left her dishes unwashed in the sink as always, and ran to her bedroom.
there, with her back against the door, she finally let herself breathe.
“fuck,” she whispered under her breath.
she felt drunk and reckless. like she could feel all of her limbs, but couldn’t quite remember how to control any of them. her heart thumped away uselessly against her sternum, jackrabbiting in its place.
“fuck,” she repeated to herself, before she took off running.
first, there needed to be a shower. thankfully, they had en-suites in their apartment and yoonji grabbed a towel and ran into her bathroom like someone was after her life. she jumped in quickly and decided that it was the perfect time to finally shave off her overgrown body hair. her pubes were basically a rainforest with its own ecosystem at that point, but it still took her only a few minutes to be done shaving because she was a seasoned professional.
she washed herself with more care than she had ever shown herself before, getting soapy hands in every nook and cranny. she washed her hair with her expensive shampoo that smelled like a magical garden and that she only used on special occasions. she actually used lotion on her skin after the thorough shower.
after her shower, she decided to pick out her favourite lingerie set to wear under her nightsuit - the maroon bralette with far too many straps and matching lace panties that barely covered anything - all of that tucked safely under her baggy tee and shorts combo.
she didn’t let herself think too hard about why she was dressing in her favourite lingerie set when she wasn’t even the one who was going to be getting naked.
another five minutes and a short pep-talk later, yoonji found herself in front of a fresh out of the shower namjoo, clad only in a pink towel wrapped under her arms.
licking her dry lips, yoonji’s eyes followed the journey of a water droplet down namjoo’s dainty, long neck, over her collarbone and between the gentle swell of her tits.
“um, clothes?” she said eloquently, eyes still stuck to the exposed skin of her neck.
when she looked up at namjoo, she found the other girl’s brown eyes hooded with an emotion she had never seen on her face before. her cheeks were pink from the hot shower and yoonji was entranced with the way her dimples popped into her blushy cheeks when she answered, “what’s the point in dressing up when i’m only going to get naked later?”
yoonji found it in herself to smile over the sound of her heart thrumming like an anxious butterfly inside her body. “why live when we’re only going to die?” she countered, forcefully sassy.
namjoo lowered herself to the bed, and yoonji’s eyes followed her like a predator to a prey.
yoonji cleared her throat softly. “so,” she started, seating herself at the foot of namjoo’s bed, “how do you want to do this?”
namjoo smiled softly, just a tiny curve of the corners of her mouth. “you pick,” she said. “it’s your educational experience after all.”
she stretched her legs out in front of her and yoonji found her eyes dragging down to catch a proper sight of them. if there was one thing that yoonji was certain of in a forever changing world, it was that no matter what someone’s sexuality was, there was no way that anyone wouldn’t be attracted to the sight of namjoo’s legs.
her legs were miles long and perfectly golden, helped by years of bicycling around and hiking trips that yoonji always backed out of. yoonji eyed the lean muscle on her legs and drooled a little.
“um,” yoonji said intelligently. “do you...do you wanna watch porn first?” she asked hesitantly and the flush traveled down to namjoo’s neck at the words. “you know, to get yourself going.”
a shaky exhale and namjoo replied, “i think i’m turned on enough.”
eyes snapping up at the words, yoonji was surprised to find herself staring into namjoo’s hooded eyes. that expression -
she had only seen that once before in her eyes and the scene flashed back inside yoonji’s mind - namjoo, drunk and soft, lying in her bed and asking yoonji if she was straight, thighs clenching tight.
yoonji swallowed, harsh and forceful. “oh,” she said.
“yeah,” namjoo said, soft as a whisper. for just a second, her eyes slipped down to yoonji’s lips and then they were back, intense and staring right into yoonji’s eyes, as if challenging her to back out. “oh,” she repeated.
another pause - this one tense, the air vibrating with the tension.
“unnie,” namjoo said quietly and yoonji wanted to wrap herself in the word. from namjoo’s mouth, it was her kryptonite and her holy water, it was what kept her alive and what caused her heart to stop completely. “do you want to see me fuck myself?”
fuck.
“so bad.”
fuck it all to hell.
namjoo breathed out softly, mouth open in a soft gape and cheeks flaming red. “you can’t just say that,” she complained and yoonji giggled.
yoonji felt a little better knowing that namjoo was just as flustered as she was. she shifted closer on her knees, till she was so close to namjoo that she could feel the heat from her body. “do you want to show unnie how you fuck yourself, honey?”
namjoo looked just as shocked as yoonji felt at the words. she didn’t know where the confidence was coming from (her horny, lizard brain, most likely), but she was enjoying it. there was something deeply satisfying about seeing namjoo’s pretty face, shocked and pleased in equal measure.
“oh my god,” namjoo said softly, before scrambling up to sift through her bedside drawer. yoonji watched in confusion till namjoo pulled out a cactus vibe - this one bright pink.
before yoonji could question it, or even blink, namjoo had ripped the towel off her body and settled back comfortably into the cushions.
it wasn’t that yoonji had never seen namjoo naked before, because she had, they had both seen each other naked multiple times. but they were all brief moments with carefully averted eyes that never strayed too far.
and this -
namjoo was spread on the bed like a five-course meal, all for yoonji’s eyes to feast on.
she was golden where she lay against the pillows, chest rising and falling rapidly. yoonji eyed the way namjoo’s nipples were peaked, and she suddenly wanted to bite down more than anything she had ever wanted before.
whenever she had looked at namjoo’s tits before, she had reasoned that she looked at them so much because she was envious of how big they were. but staring at them in that moment, heavy and soft and so, so fucking close, yoonji found it in herself to admit that maybe she just wanted her mouth on them all along.
“unnie,” namjoo said again, voice a little higher than usual.
and that was all the warning that yoonji received before namjoo was spreading her legs like it was no big deal.
yoonji’s first thought was, so that’s what another woman’s pussy looks like.
namjoo’s skin was darker between her legs, and shiny with juices. yoonji leaned forward unconsciously, desperately wanting to taste .
“namjoo,” she whispered into the night, “you’re fucking beautiful.”
namjoo ducked her head down shyly. “thank you, unnie,” she said, grabbing the cactus vibrator from beside her and bringing it to yoonji’s attention. “so, um, i’m extremely sensitive. like, really, really sensitive. so i usually start with the lowest settings,” she explained, her thumb nudging the button on the side of the toy and bringing it to life, “and gradually make my way to a higher intensity.”
yoonji was baffled by that. she hadn’t even felt the lowest setting, it was that weak. but like a good student, she nodded and listened.
“and then i just,” continued namjoo.
when namjoo brought the toy down to her pussy, yoonji felt the touch between her own legs.
true to her words, namjoo was so sensitive that the first touch of the vibrator to her clit had her legs shutting closed reflexively. she gasped softly, eyes screwing shut and her head thrown back. yoonji wanted to put her hands on namjoo’s legs and spread them apart again.
“holy shit,” yoonji said and she clenched her thighs together, looking for a little relief to the pressure building between her own legs.
“and then i - hah, oh my - i just, i press it on my clit,” namjoo nearly whined, already so affected by the toy. “i tease myself for a bit, l-let the pleasure build up.”
“namjoo, can i touch myself?” yoonji asked desperately and namjoo’s eyes flew open. “please?”
namjoo pushed herself up on the bed, nodding her head rapidly. “w-wanna see you too,” she said.
yoonji nodded, taking her baggy tee off and throwing it off to the side somewhere. her pants followed quickly, until all she was left in was her lingerie.
“fuck, unnie,” namjoo said, eyes wide and awestruck. “you’re so-”
“so what?” yoonji questioned, kneeling on the bed and dragging herself closer until she was practically between namjoo’s legs.
namjoo made a sound in the back of her throat, pushing the toy harder against herself as the vibrations increased. “so fucking gorgeous,” she answered, panting.
yoonji pulled her panties to the side, too horny to take them off, and spread her legs. “not more than you, honey,” she said, sticking her middle and index finger in her mouth. she sucked on her fingers slowly, getting them coated in her saliva, before she brought them to her clit. her mouth fell open in relief, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she finally touched her throbbing core.
she circled her clit with her fingers as she watched namjoo move the vibrator in circular motions around her own clit. her cunt was pink and glistening, and yoonji had never thought about going down on a girl before, but in that moment, all she wanted was to eat namjoo out till the other girl was shivering with overstimulation.
she wanted namjoo’s thick thighs around her head, pulling her in and keeping her in place as she fucked her tongue into her pussy, mouth wet with her juices and drool.
“fuck, i love your eyes on me,” namjoo confessed, voice edged into a whine. she pushed the vibe down till it was between her lips, vibrating right against her hole. her back arched on its own, the feeling too overwhelming. “ah! ah, fuck. unnie, p-please let me put it in,” she said suddenly, begging. “can i put it in? ple-please!”
yoonji nearly came at the question, having to stop her fingers against herself to stave herself off. she had never heard anything as erotic before.
“yes, baby,” yoonji breathed. “you can put it in.”
“thank you, thank you,” namjoo said, completely out of it as she pushed the thicker end of the vibrator inside her cunt, leaving the smaller one vibrating against her clit. “oh, it’s so good, god .”
“oh honey, you’re so sensitive,” yoonji said, leaning forward to push a finger inside herself, one hand on namjoo’s inner thigh to keep herself balanced. “so desperate you can’t even think.”
yoonji was distantly aware that this was one too many endearments away from a casual, educational experience, but she felt drunk on the sight of namjoo moaning and writhing in pleasure. it was too intense, too much.
it was so close to what she had always imagined namjoo to look like in bed, but so, so much better.
yoonji pushed another finger inside herself, closing her eyes briefly at the stretch, still on her knees and leaning forward - the hand that was keeping her balanced still dangerously close to where namjoo was fucking herself with the vibrator.
“fuck, unnie, you look so good like this,” namjoo said.
yoonji opened her eyes to find herself being watched.
for once, it was a good feeling.
namjoo had her bottom lip tucked between her teeth, like it was the only thing keeping her from stuttering out more compliments. the apples of her cheeks were coloured a mix of red and pink that was a little too endearing for yoonji to truly be able to handle.
namjoo wasn’t thrusting the vibe in anymore, more so just grinding it deep inside herself. the muscles of her thigh twitched with pleasure and yoonji wondered what they would feel like under her tongue.
“l-look so good all the time,” namjoo confessed, keeping her eyes trained on yoonji fingering herself as she fucked herself with the vibe. “pretty unnie.”
without a single thought, yoonji leaned forward - free hand cradling namjoo’s cheek and legs spreading instinctively over namjoo’s thigh so she could get closer to her without losing her balance.
“you’re making me lose my goddamn mind, namjoo-ah,” yoonji said, a confession of her own. she pulled her fingers out of herself and rested her hand on the headboard behind namjoo.
namjoo moaned softly, so close to yoonji that her breath caressed yoonji’s lips. “m-more, unnie. need more. wanna come, please.”
“what do you need, pretty baby?” yoonji asked.
namjoo closed her eyes, too shy to say the words. “more, please,” she begged and yoonji went a little insane at the whine in her tone.
“okay, i-i’ll give you more. give you everything,” yoonji said, carefully thumbing at the warm skin of namjoo’s cheek. “just tell me if it’s too much, okay?”
namjoo nodded and yoonji dived in.
when yoonji bit into the curve of namjoo’s neck like she had been longing to do since perhaps 2014, namjoo cursed and keened. taking it as a good sign, yoonji groaned softly in her throat and sucked a pretty mark on namjoo’s pretty skin.
“s good, baby?” she mumbled against the heated skin, dragging her teeth over the tiny little bruise on the side of her neck.
“so good,” namjoo said, voice fucked. “feels so good.”
yoonji hummed in satisfaction, pleased at making namjoo feel good even though her own pussy was throbbing with need. she enjoyed it, enjoyed the need coursing through her veins, her skin buzzing with pleasure in a way she had never felt before.
masturbation or sex had never been this good, this intense before.
yoonji bit and sucked another mark right in the middle of namjoo’s pretty collarbones. she had always thought they would look lovely marked up and was happy to fulfill her own imagination. she dropped her head lower, mouthing at one of namjoo’s pert, dark nipples, and gasped in pleasure when namjoo’s thigh came up to push against her cunt.
she’d forgotten that she was essentially straddling namjoo, but now that she had experienced what the lean muscles of namjoo’s thigh felt like against her pussy, she couldn’t stop herself from rutting down.
she sucked a mark into the side of namjoo’s tit, drunk on how namjoo sounded underneath her. she was sensitive everywhere and yoonji was getting wetter just hearing how close namjoo was to cumming.
“unnie, you’re so - you’re so wet,” namjoo gasped out. “want you to grind on me. please?”
and how could yoonji say no when her sweet girl was asking so politely?
“whatever you want, honey,” she whispered. she moved to namjoo’s other nipple, rolling it between her teeth and pulling lightly. namjoo hissed, her hands suddenly in yoonji’s hair, and yoonji soothed the bite with her tongue - distantly realising that namjoo had discarded the cactus vibe.
strong, lithe hands wrapped themselves around yoonji’s waist and then namjoo pulled her forward, pushing her hips down till she was sitting on namjoo’s thigh. namjoo wrapped a hand around yoonji’s thigh, pulling it foward.
“what?” yoonji questioned softly from between namjoo’s tits where she was sucking more pretty marks, before she realised .
namjoo breathed out a shaky exhale, pushing yoonji’s thigh against her own pussy and grinding up on it. her hands were back to yoonji’s hips and she guided her, helped yoonji move as well, both of them moving against each other till they were shivering with pleasure.
“o-oh my god,” yoonji moaned, too mindless to even leave love bites all over namjoo anymore. she leaned her forehead against namjoo’s, mouth wide open, eyes closed and just let herself feel.
how had she never felt this before?
“feels nice, unnie?” namjoo asked, sounding just as wrecked, and yoonji nodded, eyes still shut tightly.
namjoo pressed her thigh harder into her pussy and yoonji whined - she never whined, never even breathed too loud, she was always quiet, goddamnit. she moved her hips faster, felt namjoo pick up the speed as well, both of them moaning quietly against each other.
“w-want more,” namjoo repeated again. “want more marks, unnie. wanna remember this. remember how you look right now.”
that was all the permission that yoonji needed before she was back to sucking hickies into the side of namjoo’s neck. she was quickly learning about her obsession with biting and leaving marks and how good it felt to see evidence of herself on namjoo’s skin.
one of namjoo’s hands slipped off her hips and she reached underneath yoonji to finger herself. yoonji watched namjoo moan as she hooked her fingers inside herself and felt herself hurtling closer to an orgasm.
“fuck,” she breathed against namjoo’s tits. “c-close, so close.”
“cum for me, unnie,” namjoo said desperately, fucking her fingers inside herself as she continued to grind against yoonji’s thigh. “wanna see you cum.”
yoonji’s body froze as her orgasm shook through her, her hips stuttered against namjoo’s thigh, soaking it with slick, and her mouth fell open in a silent scream. she was sure she left scratches into namjoo’s skin with how hard she was holding onto her, but she couldn’t help herself.
she had never experienced an orgasm like this.
she vaguely heard namjoo orgasm as well - all pretty, choked moans and hips that sped up instead of slowing down as she rode the last waves of pleasure - but she didn’t remember much beyond that. her ears were buzzing with electricity, her body tingling with the remnants of her orgasm, her skin weirdly warm.
“fuck, that was good,” namjoo said, voice heavy and deep, and so, so sated.
“mm,” yoonji said mindlessly, too out of it to notice how her body was pressed so tight against namjoo’s.
namjoo chuckled underneath her, wrapping her strong arms around yoonji and pulling her to lie beside her in the bed. yoonji sighed contentedly, eyes still closed as she snuggled in.
she was sleepy.
well-fucked, and sleepy.
“ah, you’re so cute,” namjoo said softly, before pressing a lingering kiss to her cheek. “do you want me to help you clean up, unnie?”
yoonji frowned in disapproval, which only earned her another fond kiss on her cheek. “sleep,” she grumbled.
namjoo giggled - a lovely sound, really - and pulled a blanket on top of yoonji. she moved as if to leave, and yoonji quickly wrapped a hand around her wrist.
eyes still closed, she grumbled again, a little more coherent, “sleep.”
“but…” namjoo started and paused. a sigh, and then she was shuffling underneath the blankets as well, wrapping her arms around yoonji’s waist just like before and pulling her in till they were snuggled against each other. “we’re getting cum all over each other and the blankets.”
“mm,” yoonji agreed sleepily and pressed a kiss to namjoo’s throat, where she was tucked safe and sound. “sleep.”
namjoo’s throat vibrated with the happy, fond sound she made. “okay, unnie. sleep. sweet dreams.”
*
yoonji groaned as she stretched awake, feeling her thighs burn with exertion and finding her body pleasantly sore.
she froze, the arms around her tummy reminding her of why she was in namjoo’s room.
she swallowed nervously, slowly turning her head to find namjoo sleeping behind her, snoring softly. she extracted herself out of the embrace as quietly as she could, not wanting to accidentally wake the other girl up.
her body felt tacky with sweat and other bodily fluid, and she scrunched her nose to find that she hadn’t even pulled her panties back in their place.
she looked back at namjoo - at how cute she looked with her cheek squished against the pillow, at how pretty she looked like this, naked and wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket.
her heart ached with a yearning and she found herself wanting to get back in bed again.
no, she thought to herself strictly and forced her feet to move. she walked back into her room, not bothering to pick up her clothes from namjoo’s floor, and locked herself in.
whatever had happened the other night had just been an educational experience. namjoo had said so herself. namjoo was teaching her how to make herself cum and it was okay if she hadn’t learnt shit about masturbation, at least she got to have her first, actual orgasm ever.
at the age of twenty four.
should i text soobin? she caught herself thinking.
she just needed to fuck out her weird, jumbled emotions. with a boy.
she needed a boy.
something oddly like nausea twisted inside her stomach and yoonji hit her head against the door, just to make her brain quiet down.
she was tired. so fucking tired.
*