Hulking Fervor

by torA_amadorE

Summary:

Bruce was back.

He was back to warn them all of the danger approaching, to help the Avengers stop Thanos yet, how could he? How could he help the Avengers when he didn’t know who the Avengers were?

Bruce was gone for just over Four years yet, somehow it felt like an eternity.

The Avengers weren’t the same Avengers. His old team had split apart and, according to Tony, they weren’t even on track to reforming.

So then, where did that leave him?

The answer is simple.

It left him standing in front of the woman he deserted and the man he still loved after all those years. Of course, Tony just had to jump on a spaceship and leave him to deal with his old teammates all alone, what did he expect? He’d done him the same way after Ultron after all.

At least Natasha didn’t seem hurt anymore.

All he really had to worry about was his own lingering pain and guilt, which only seemed to increase when he looked into those familiar icy blue eyes and noticed the suffering that lay dormant behind them.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Summary:

Steve is so tired...

He needs real help...

Good thing he has loyal friends...

Steve ran.

For four months he didn’t stop.

For four months he evaded Natasha, Sam and Wanda to the best of his ability. Which, if he was being honest, was pretty exhausting. Natasha was damn good at her job, sometimes he could swear she knew where he was before he did. 

But they never caught him. 

How would they? How do you catch a super soldier without tranq darts and violence?

You don’t. 

Steve was tired though. 

Tired of running.

Tired of being chased.

Tired of hurting.

And all Steve could think was that, that was what Bucky must have felt like. He could only imagine the pain Bucky felt on the move, the pain he felt every time he looked in the mirror and now he just wished he hadn’t made Bucky hate him because he really missed Bucky. 

“Steve.” Steve glanced up at the sound of Sams voice, he’d seen Sam ten minutes ago when he sat down on the back stoop of the liquor store. It took him a little longer than Steve had expected to finally approach him, not that he blamed Sam, it was pretty probable that he’d just run again. Sam was probably getting sick and tired of chasing him.

“Where’s Natasha?” Steve scratched his cheek, just at the edge of his beard. “She get tired of trying?”

“No, never.” Sam immediately shook his head as he slowly sat down on the stoop next to Steve. “She’s just waiting at the hotel with Wanda, hoping you’ll decide this time you’ll stay. That you’ll let us catch you, help you.”

“Why?” Steve leaned back, propping himself up against the concrete ledge behind him as he looked up at the night sky. “Why even bother? Why didn’t you just stop when I asked?”

“Did you stop when Bucky asked?” Sam threw back and Steve closed his eyes instead of responding. “We are your friends Steve, your teammates, your family. We don’t give up on our own, especially when they’re hurt and confused.”

“Yeah, well, what’s there to do about it?” Steve huffed, and thats when he noticed how cold it was. He could see his breath, which made perfect sense, since it was the middle of winter and there was snow on the ground. He used to hate snow, and now he barely even noticed it. “Nothing is gonna change if we go back.”

“Then we won’t.” Sam shrugged as he slipped his hands in his pockets, the air was probably a bit too cold for the other man. “We can wait as long as you need, as long as you want. We can go back later.” He looked at Sam as the other man sent him a small smile. “We just want to help you Steve. You need help.”

“From therapists?”

“Maybe.” Sam shrugged again and watched Steve closely for any mood changes, not that Steve blamed him, he’d not been on board with that plan anytime Sam had brought it up. 

After the Civil War, Steve had had nightmares. Nightmares of Bucky being tortured by some hidden entity, and every time Steve couldn’t reach him. Couldn’t get through the haze, couldn’t get close enough to stop the pain. Eventually Bucky would fade away and the dream would warp and suddenly the entity wasn’t a mystery anymore, suddenly it was Ross. 

Bucky would be stuck in that glass capsule and Ross would be busy torturing him with memories and Steve would scream for him to stop but as soon as he stepped forward he’d feel a hand on his chest and he’d look down to find a familiar pair of brown eyes. 

They were cold, calculating, holding no semblance of the Tony he remembered, the Tony he wanted so bad and then he’d realize Tony had him restrained as he forced Steve to watch his best friend, his brother, be tortured in front of him. He’d scream and beg but Tony only stood silently, staring at him like a lifeless drone.

Everytime the dream changed a little bit more. More recently, Tony wasn’t alone, he was accompanied by a murderous merc who warped Buckys torture into something a little more physical. They’d never hurt Steve, as if they knew it hurt the soldier more to hurt his friends. Then the dream warped even more and it wasn’t just Bucky anymore, it was Natasha and Sam and sometimes Wanda too and the first time Steve saw Wade cut Wandas throat while Tony watched, emotionless, he woke up in a cold sweat and threw up. 

Steve hadn’t slept since.

Steve hadn’t slept in ten days and though he was a super soldier, it was starting to take its toll. He could barely keep his eyes open but he was afraid to sleep. Afraid of his dreams and maybe that meant Sam was right all along. 

Of course he was, Sam had warned him his dreams were twisted and unreal, that he needed to get help before they got worse, and they had. He knew Tony would never do those things, that even Wade Wilson wouldn’t do those things, but Steve couldn’t make it stop, he couldn’t fix it, which is how he knew Sam was right.

He needed that help because... he really was messed up.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Sams eyes widened. “Okay? You’ll come back with us?”

“Yeah, okay.” Steve swallowed his fear as Sam let a smile pull at the corner of his lips. “I need help.”

“Finally.” Sam let an airy chuckle escape his lips. “You’re a hard man to help, Steve.”

“I know.” Steve half smiled in return as he let Sam help haul him to his feet. “I’ve been told.”

“Well, you’ll probably be told again, because you’re a stubborn bastard.” Sam laughed as he led Steve across the street. “Let’s get to the hotel before I freeze to death.” 

Steve grunted in affirmation as he let Sam drag him away, to hopefully, a better tomorrow.

***

“So, why Ireland?” Sam asked as Natasha pulled Steve into a hug. “Is there a reason?”

“Sam, he’s Irish.” Wanda scoffed as she ran her hand through Steve’s hair while Natasha held the soldier tight. “Do not tell me you did not know.”

“I-I knew that!” Sam threw his coat onto one of the beds. “I just didn’t think about it.”

“Sure, моя любовь.” Natasha let Wanda gather Steve into her arms as she pulled away, walking to peck Sam on his nose. “Just like you didn’t think about grabbing the pizza from the shop on the way back.”

“Damn, I knew I forgot something.” Sam grumbled as he snatched his coat back up. “In my defense, I was busy dragging Steve’s exhausted ass down the street.”

“I’ll go with you.” Natasha smiled as she grabbed her own coat. “Take care of him, we’ll be back with food.”

“Of course.” Wanda nodded as the door clicked shut behind the two other Rogue Avengers. “C’mon, you need a shower, you reek.”

Steve let out a soft, tired chuckle as she dragged him into the bathroom and sat him down on the toilet. “I will call Natasha to pick you up some clothes, you get washed and there will be pizza when you’re done.”

Steve nodded as he turned his gaze toward the tub. Wanda closed the door behind her and it took him a few minutes to finally turn the damn thing on. He was way too tired for a shower but he decided a bath couldn’t hurt, as long as he didn’t fall asleep and drown himself.

He let out a content sigh as he sank into the scalding hot water, his muscles relaxing as the water heated up his cold skin. He hadn’t been planning to stop for the night, had been planning to move on from Ireland to... somewhere else, but as the night went on, he knew he’d made the right decision. Being here, with his friends, his family, it was where he wanted to be and if he wanted to stop these horrendous nightmares, it was where he needed to be. He let his eyes slide shut as he sank lower into the tub.

He was still scared, of course. He was scared of sharing this burden, telling anyone about his dreams would make his problems more real, but he knew what he had to do.

Sam was right.

It was time to move on, get help.

And sometimes...
 
Help could be a little more painful than running away.

But it’d be worth it.

He was sure.

Notes:

Welcome for the first step into the sequel of Iron Ardor!

Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 2: Chapter One

Summary:

Bruce is home...

He literally knows nothing about anything...

Ellie is adorable, as always...

Seeing Tony after so long made Bruce feel oddly at home. Thor wasn’t exactly the biggest relief to see after two years of being locked away in a beast, especially since it meant he wasn’t on Earth, but Tony? Tony was Bruce’s best friend, someone that Bruce knew would pull him out of any situation, no questions asked, which wasn’t exactly what Bruce needed but what the whole universe would need.

 Thanos was coming and Tony was the first person Bruce could think of to tell, well him and the rest of the Avengers, of course.

When he appeared before the brunet genius, stepping out of the magical portal that the weirdly dressed wizard had opened up, Bruce felt like a huge weight was  lifted off his shoulders. Tony was a sight for sore eyes, as was Pepper who stood off to the side, side-eyeing Tony as if nothing in the world had changed since the smaller scientist left. Except, it had... everything had changed and Bruce just hadn’t known it yet.

“Broke up? Like a boy band?” Bruce couldn’t comprehend what the hell Tony had just relayed to him. “Like the Beatles?”

Suddenly, everything was not so okay. The avengers weren’t exactly the Avengers anymore. Well, they were but half of them decided to take residence outside of New York, for a second time, due to some events that Tony was being oddly vague about. Whatever Tony wasn’t relaying, whatever he ‘didn’t have time’ to explain, had created a wedge between them. Bruce would have demanded for an explanation, annoyed Tony until the billionaire gave in, but they didn’t have much time for catching up before the Alien geek squad showed up, invading Earth and whisking Tony off with them.

Bruce felt awfully bad for Pepper, he knew it couldn’t be easy loving a man who had no regard for his own safety, but he also knew it wasn’t really Tony’s fault. The world relied on Iron Man, Avenger or not, he was an important factor for the worlds safety, though his stubborn nature irked Bruce to no end. 

The small physicist picked up the black flip phone and texted the only number saved, praying to the gods that Steve would answer. He didn’t know why their little team split but, he was positive it wasn’t for any good reason. After sending out the SOS, Bruce turned to a hysterical Pepper as she yelled into her phone.

“Tony, come back right now!” She seemed almost in tears and Bruce swallowed awkwardly as she inevitably argued with her lover. “We have a wedding to plan and... and... Tony, you have to pick up Ellie at three!” Bruce could hear the small chatter on the other end of the line, though he couldn’t make out what the other genius was saying. “No, she’s gonna be heartbroken! Tony, don’t do this, come back home you just entered her life don’t leave her like this!”

Bruce had no clue what was going on. The conversation confused the hell out of him. Tony had mentioned a wedding, invited Wong in fact, so Bruce could put two and two together and assume that he and Pepper were finally sealing the deal, though that didn’t quite explain who Ellie was. Did they have a kid? It’d only been four years, there’s no way Tony and Pepper had a kid so soon, right?

“Tony, I’m serious! Come back down here! Do you know what she’s gonna think?!” Pepper snapped into the phone, speaking over the mechanics retorts and most likely apologies. “Her dads off on a mission and now you’re- Tony, don’t you dare!”

And that’s when the line cut out, Bruce could tell because Pepper went silent staring down at the screen with a blank expression. Bruce had never seen the strawberry blonde so distraught, but there she was, lost and confused and suddenly Bruce had a lot more respect for her because despite this sudden change of events, she snapped out of her stupor rather quickly.

“Damnit.” She snapped as she slid the phone in her pocket, looking over to Bruce. “You, come with me. We have to pick someone up in half an hour and by then, Rhodey should be waiting for us at the compound.”

Bruce nodded quickly as he followed after Pepper, she was definitely not one to refuse, though Tony constantly demonstrated otherwise. Bruce climbed into the back seat of the black sedan and Pepper smacked a kiss on the drivers, Happys, lips. Bruce reeled back in confusion before quickly shaking off his surprise, opting to mind his own business.

Was Pepper cheating on Tony? No, there was no way, right? 

Bruce couldn’t make heads or tails of the situation. He sat in awkward silence, peaking over at Pepper every few moments as she typed away on the tablet that she picked up from the car seat. He had no clue what was going on and honestly, it should be the least of his concerns. Tony’s messy love life was none of his business, the whole universe was at stake and there was nothing more precious than that. At least, that’s what Bruce thought until he met her.

***

Ellie climbed into the back of the car, greeting Pepper with a smile as her eyes glided around the back seat, obviously searching for someone, Tony he presumed. Her smile fell as she furrowed her brows and looked toward Pepper who smoothed the chocolate brown Locke’s of the little girls hair back affectionately.

“Where’s Tony?” Her voice held a small lisp and Bruce contributed it to the two missing top teeth at the front of her mouth that only added to her adorableness. Bruce had always wanted children, of course that was before he became a giant green rage monster that destroyed everything he touched. “I got an A on my science test. Tony said if I got an A on my science test he’d take me to Coney Island.”

Bruce’s heart broke at her words and it only pained him more at the resigned face Pepper shot him. He’d never seen the blonde speechless, not even in front of a room full of vicious generals and snarky senators, yet here she was, chewing her lip nervously, guiltily, just like any other human on earth. 

When had Tony decided to take a child under his wing? Last he checked, the billionaire had commitment issues and now he has a child?  When had Iron Man become so domestic?

“Eleanor, Sweetie, Tony is-“

“Is he okay?” The little girls demeanor changed as her eyebrows furrowed in worry. Bruce had never seen someone so young look so old before. “Is Tony okay? He’s okay right?”

“I... yes, Sweetheart, as far as we know, Tony is fine.” Pepper reached across the seat and gave the girls bicep a squeeze. “He just... hes not going to be home for awhile. He told me to tell you he’s sorry, and he will take you to Coney Island as soon as he gets back and he loves you.”

“Yeah?” Bruce could hear the quake in her voice but she held her emotions back fairly well, which was honestly a little concerning to Bruce. Just what had this little girl been through to master her emotions so well at her age? “This isn’t... he’s not like mommy, right?”

“Oh, sweetie, no.” Pepper pulled the little girl, Eleanor, into a tight hug and she whispered words of encouragement and assurances into her brown hair. “Tony’s going to be okay, that man is way too stubborn to leave you behind.” And those words made Bruce’s chest squeeze.

“I uhh... you don’t know me but I can second that notion.” Bruce smiled from his seat and the little girls head bopped up, her big brown eyes settling on his. “Tony, he might be reckless but he’s also the most stubborn man I know.”

“You know Tony?” She pulled out of Peppers hug and shuffled across the blondes lap, scooting between the two to get a bit closer to the doctor. “Are you daddy’s friend too?”

“Uh, daddy?” Bruce furrowed his eyebrows in thought. “I don’t... I don’t think I know your father, no.”

“But you know Tony.” The little girl smiled, her wide grin pushing aside the disappointment and worry from earlier.” Tony doesn’t have a lot of friends besides Jaysie and Ms. Pepper.”

“Jaysie?” Bruce shot Pepper a quick look of confusion to find her giving him an entertained smile, though he could still see the worry in her eyes.

“He’s Tony’s best friend!” Her smile grew larger as she leaned toward Bruce. “Tony calls him Rhodey but Jaysie sounds like Daisy and I like Daisies.”

“Oh? Rhodey, gotcha.” Bruce let out a snort at her explanation and he knew that the Colonel couldn’t have approved of the nickname but probably had a problem telling the little girl no. “Well, I’m Dr. Bruce Banner.”

“Banner?!” Suddenly the little girls eyes lit up and Bruce knew exactly where the conversation was headed. “You’re Bruce Banner?!”

“Uh.. yes, i-“

“Tony says you’re really smart and you went on vacation but when you got back you’d play with us in the lab!” And that was not what Bruce  was expecting. How old was this little girl? “I want to make a chocolate grenade but Tony says it’s too messy and thinks I’d just use it on him.” She pouted as she crossed her little arms and Bruce let  a small smile fall on his lips. “I’m gonna use it on him just because he said that.”

“That sounds like a fantastic idea.” Bruce chuckled. “I’ll even help you.”

“Really?!” Her eyes lit up as she grabbed his arm. “It’ll be fun, I swear!”

“I believe you.” Bruce patted her hand as he nodded at her. “Just as soon as Tony gets back, we’ll get started on Project: Chocolate Bomb.”

Ellie let out an excited squeal as she turned to Pepper excitedly, going into detail of their future adventures, much of them involving pranking Tony. Bruce felt a little envious at his best friend but the happiness that Tony finally had family overrode the disgusting green monster within. 

When Bruce left, Tony was a mess of a man, struggling with his personal life and he’d felt guilty when he realized he’d deserted Tony after the Ultron incident. Even if it had been the Hulk, and out of his control, he still felt the horrible guilt from leaving Tony to clean up their mess alone, but this... this made things a little better. The idea that Tony was happy and had a more stable environment made things a little easier on him. 

Now, he just had the intense guilt that Tony wouldn’t get the chance to return to this life. Somehow he felt responsible for that too. If the green guy would have just stopped being a huge dickhead and come out of hiding then he might have been able to help Tony out, but now... he had to have faith that the billionaire wouldn’t reuse the same suicidal tactics he had in their last few battles together years ago.

Bruce sat in silence for the rest of the ride, a small smile plastered to his lips and he watched Ellie excitedly argue with Happy and converse with Pepper. Bruce hoped, for the sake of this child, that Tony really would return. He didn’t know much about her, but if the little context clues he picked up about her mother were anything to go by, she had already been through enough loss at her age.

What exactly would they do if Tony didn’t return? 

Bruce wasn’t sure he would be able to handle the guilt. He’d been in enough pain in his life, he knew what it was like to lose people and he didn’t think someone as bright and sweet as Ellie seemed to be, should be subjected to something like that. Not that any child should be subjected to such loss, but it just so happened that the smarter children tended to be the loneliest ones.

Bruce decided then that maybe, if they made it out of this battle alive, he’d stick around awhile. Maybe he’d settle back into life in New York. Maybe, just maybe, he’d let himself fall into a family, a family like the one Tony had offered at the start of the Avengers. Bruce felt like he could use the change of pace, felt like maybe he could settle down for awhile. 

IF they survived that is...

And at that moment, it seemed like a really big IF.

 

Chapter 3: Chapter Two

Summary:

Bruce is still just as lost as before...

Natasha isn’t as mad as she should be...

And Steve is just as clueless as always...

Bruce’s chest constricted at the sight of Natasha. 

Four years. 

Maybe, five? 

Bruce wasn’t entirely sure, but he did know it’d been between those two measures of time.

The past couple years were pretty much a blur, considering he had been trapped in the hulk for about two of them... he wasn’t really surprised. 

Natasha’s hair was blonde, short and Bruce had to admit the color suited her.

“Uh, I think you guys look great.”
Bruce felt all eyes turn his way at the sound of his voice. The look on Natasha’s face said it all, a look of hurt, confusion and happiness all mixed into one cocktail of emotional turmoil.

“Yeah, I’m back.” Bruce swallowed at the awkward tension in the air.

“Hi, Bruce.”

“Nat.”

Bruce gave her a curt nod before his eyes swept to her right. A head full of blonde hair filled his vision and Bruce felt his chest squeeze. The Captain looked older, which made sense because Bruce had been gone for about four years, and yet somehow, Bruce only found him ever more attractive. 

Maybe it was the beard?

Bruce could feel Natasha’s eyes on him and he glanced back her way to find the same sympathetic look she had always given him. 

Natasha and Bruce had had a thing. Everyone thought they were in undeniable, deep and impenetrable love with one another but, they were just licking each others wounds. Settling, if you must. Natasha was in love with a married man, Clint, and Bruce... he was just a fill in. 

It wasn’t like they didn’t love each other, they did, but it wasn’t the hot, passionate love they had lead everyone to believe. Their love was one that grew over time, a love that was less romantic and more out of convenience and loss. He and Nat probably would’ve been together for a long time, if Bruce hadn’t been so unsure. If he hadn’t lead the Hulk to take control and fight against the pain the two were putting each other in by trying to make the relationship more than it was meant to be.

“We don’t trade lives, Vision.” Steve spoke, his tone final.

The words were like a lifeline to Bruce. It’d been so long since he heard the Captain talk, and he was relieved to find that Steve Rogers was the same loyal man he’d left behind after the Ultron incident.

Except, maybe he wasn’t. Bruce could sense something had changed, but he didn’t know what it was. Something about the look in  Steve’s eyes was different, but maybe that’s because Bruce had been away for so long, he was bound to miss something in that time span.

The small team argued over Visions need for sacrifice, but Steve made it very clear the subject was not up for debate. The Captain sagged in relief when Bruce piped in that Vision wouldn’t need to be sacrificed, that the stone could be removed without losing Vision as a whole.

“I know somewhere.” 

And that was how their flight to Wakanda began.

——————

Bruce pulled at his sleeves as he snuck glances toward the handsome soldier who stood talking to Wanda. He was trying not to be obvious, he really was, but it was hard not to stare; Bruce was just as lost as he’d been before he left earth as the Hulk. Just as unsettled by the super soldiers presence as he had been all those years ago.

“Still crushing pretty hard, huh?” Natasha took a seat next to him on the air craft, handing him over a warm cup of chamomile. 

“Uh, I don’t-“

“Don’t worry, it’s okay.” Natasha gave him a small smile as she glanced from him to Steve and back to him. “You know, he is available.”

“What? I- look we...” Bruce struggled before taking a deep breath, starting again. “I did you wrong, I’m sorry. I left you, alone and hurting. I abandoned you and I could blame it on the Hulk but... we both know why he left.”

Natasha glanced down at her own cup of tea before leveling her eyes with his.

“I love you, Bruce.” Natasha’s voice was soft and silky, exactly how he remembered it. “We probably would’ve stayed together, worked through our problems and been relatively happy, but... it would’ve never been enough. We would’ve never been enough. I know that now, and you apparently knew that then. You are a doctor after all.”

“I’m not that kind of doctor.” Bruce let out a sigh as he brought his warm cup to his lips. “So, you ever tell Clint?”

“No.” Nat shook her head as a content smile found its way to her lips. “I didn’t have to, things change. I love Clint, not the way I did though. I love him like I love you now.” Bruce stared at her, working to hide his shock; what did he expect? Of course Natasha had worked through her feelings for the archer, she was more mature than him in that way, whereas he was still stuck on a certain blue eyed man from Brooklyn. “Like I said though, he’s available.”

Bruce furrowed his brow at her, expecting a teasing grin to play on her lips like old times but she appeared completely serious, as if she knew something he didn’t, which would only make sense because he HAD been gone for four plus years.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” Bruce licked his dry lips. “What’re you not telling me?”

“Well...” Natasha smirked. “Steve might be a bit less gender specific about his romantic relations than we had originally thought.”

Bruce took a moment to let her words sink in before his brows furrowed a little more tensely. 

What was Natasha talking about? Was she implying what he thought she was implying?

“Are you saying Steve-“

“What about Steve?” The familiar deep, smooth voice wisped through the air from in front of them, sending a jolt down Bruce’s spine. “Only just got here and already the two of you are hitting it off like old times, huh?”

“Oh uh... we were just-“

“Relax, Bruce.” Steve chuckled, and Bruces face flushed at the tingling feeling he got in his chest at the sound, some things may have changed about the soldier, but the effect he had on Bruce had not. “I’ll let you keep your Captain America gossip to yourself, if you let me take a seat and catch up too. It’s been awhile since we last saw you. Fill us in a bit, yeah?”

“Y-Yeah, okay, uhhh... what do you wanna know?” Bruce swallowed another gulp of tea, the hot liquid burning his throat as he nervously fidgeted in his seat. 

“Maybe start with, where you’ve been?” Steve cocked his brow. 

“Actually, I gotta talk to Sam about something private so...” Natasha stood up, shooting Bruce a secretly encouraging look. “Fill me in later, yeah?”

Steve took a seat in the space Natasha had left open as Bruce watched her walk away. He mentally cursed her go getter attitude.

“So, it’s pretty obvious you’ve still got it bad.” Bruce turned his eyes to the smirking soldier who was now sitting closer than comfortable. “You guys gonna try to work it out? Or is it too late?”

“Work it out?” Bruce said in confusion before realizing what the larger man was saying, snapping out of his thoughts regarding the uncomfortable proximity. “It’s not-no, actually, I think that ship has sailed.” Bruce answered, pushing his discomfort down as he tried to focus on anything but the pounding of his heart against his, somehow too tight, rib cage. “I can’t expect her to forgive me, I know I hurt her, and I don’t think... It’s probably over, between her and I, I mean. There’s nothing there.”

Bruce chewed on his bottom lip nervously as he watched the blue eyes before him shift. The emotions that Steve seemed to shift through in that moment had been a bit shocking to Bruce. Pain, loss, and finally understanding, as if he’d known exactly what Bruce meant, which only made Bruce wonder about Natasha’s words earlier. 

Had Steve been with someone while he was gone? Who? Was it a man? And finally, had they hurt him?

The first few question filled him with jealousy before a wave of rage rolled through him. The thought of Steve being rejected, hurt... it angered the beast inside him. Hulk let out an angry huff in the back of Bruce’s mind, but the scientist suppressed the emotions under a tight lid.

“Yeah, I know the feeling.” Steve sighed as he leaned back against the metal wall, his arms crossed over his chest as he closed his eyes. “I hurt someone too, ya know? Don’t think you’re alone, Bruce.” Steve attempted to assure the scientist as his blue eyes opened back up, sliding to meet Bruce’s browns. “If you need to talk about it, I’m here. I know what a struggle it is to lose someone you love because of a major mistake, and sometimes... sometimes you just need to talk about it.”

Bruce nodded as he struggled to find something to say. Steve was obviously hurting but, Bruce didn’t know how to comfort him. The scientist was never actually good with his emotions, which is what got him in this situation in the first place. 

“Yeah, okay.” Bruce nodded as he brought his tea up to his lips once more, sipping at the now luke warm substance. “You too, I’ll listen. I’m not really good at giving advice but, I’m good at listening.”

Steve gave him a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges appreciatively. The two sat there for a moment in silence as Bruce let his eyes rove over the younger man’s face, as if searching for some kind of answer, before Steve spoke up once more.

“So, you gonna tell me all about your vacation or?”

Bruce snorted and he let a deprecating smile pull at his lips as he thought about his time as the Hulk and his less than willing battle alongside Thor that had led them to their event with Thanos.

“Define Vacation.”

Chapter 4: Chapter Three

Summary:

Steve is a beacon of hope...

Natasha is always there for Them...

Ice cream flavors are important...

 Witnessing half their team turn to dust before their very eyes had been the most painful thing Bruce had ever experienced. The sight of those blue eyes glistening with unshed tears, it made his chest ache in a way that Bruce couldn't describe. Steve straightened his tie as he cleared his throat, looking for the right words to finish his speech. It'd been only twelve days since Thanos' attack and half the universes demise and Steve still insisted on being there for the world, despite his pain and loss. Bruce couldn't help but think that, that was what made Steve a good man. He always got back up to look out for the little people, or... what was left of them at least.

 "That's why we all must stand strong, continue on striving forward. We have to keep making history because of all those we've lost, all those who don't have that chance anymore." Steve straightened his shoulders as his eyes drifted across the crowd before landing on Bruce, a small smile tugging at his lips at the sight of the physicist. "If we give up, what justice does that do them? Each one of us have to live for more than just ourselves now, and though it may be hard, I believe we can get through the darkness, if we stand together."

 Steve took a step backward as he shook hands with the Vice President, thanking him for the opportunity to speak before he stepped off the stage. There were approximately three journalists waiting to ask him questions, the press hadn't been as cut throat lately, but Bruce chalked that up to half the press being snapped out of existence.

 "So you decided to show up?" Natashas voice sounded from behind Bruce, causing the scientist to yelp in surprise. "I didn't think you'd feel comfortable in this crowd, even if it is smaller than usual... not with your little fight with Hulk going on."

 "It's... I wouldn't call it a fight..." Bruce trailed as he chewed the inside of his cheek,  a nervous habit he'd had since he was a little kid. "We've just been on the fritz? We're working things out and we both agreed that we needed to be here."

 "You didn't cause this Bruce." Natasha sighed as she gave him a sad smile. "The universes problems don't lie solely on you. You're not some golden savior you know, every loss isn't your fault."

 "But some of them are." Bruce snorted as he brought his hand up to rubs his eyes. "If we'd just worked things out sooner... if I hadn't run from the Hulk for so long instead of... Instead of trying to control everything."

 "We'd still have lost." Natasha grabbed his hand in her own as her other came up to stroke his cheek in a loving gesture, Bruce leaned into it as he let out another frustrated puff of air. "Hulk is strong, but those stones? They're stronger. You did what you could, he did what he could, and he got scared and Bruce Banner stepped forward and fought for him for once, and that's okay."

 "Is it?" Bruce swallowed as he closed his eyes. "Because Bruce Banner didn't contribute much."

 "Bruce Banner contributes a lot more than most." Bruce jumped at Steves voice sounding from behind him and he definitely didn't miss the small smirk that quickly played over Natashas ruby red lips. "Without you, we'd have lost a lot more battles than we'd won."

 "I was gone for two years." Bruces eyes met Steves and his heart hurt at the pain behind those blues. 

 "There wasn't a day we didn't miss you." Steve smiled and Bruce quickly averted his eyes to avoid the developing blush from showing. "You and the Hulk, though he's not what makes Bruce Banner an asset, he is a bonus."

 "Depending on the situation." Natasha coughed and that definitely made Bruces cheeks heat up because he knew exactly where she was headed. "When the jolly green giant acts as a cock bl-"

 "Okay, alright, we get it!" Bruce squeaked as he slapped a hand over her mouth. "Not exactly an ideal partner."

 "And what is an ideal partner?" Steve teased. "Is there a specific type you're referring to, Bruce?"

 "Maybe someone who is actually emotionally stable?" Bruce shrugged before letting out a loud disgusted groan. "Did you just lick my hand? You don't know what I've done with that, what germs I've come in contact with."

 "I've licked worse." Natasha shrugged as Bruce rubbed his sullied hand against his blue button up. "I-

 "And this is where Captain America draws the line." Steve cut her off, shaking his head. "Are you two staying? Here, in New York, I mean?"

 "I... Clint, he needs me right now." They shared a sad smile before Steve turned his eyes to Bruce, signaling for his answer.

 "I've been hashing some things out with the big guy, down in Pennsylvania, but I think a break is in order." Bruce shrugged. "I think pushing too hard is going to create a bigger rift, plus... I'd like to check in on the search party. I know the odds of Tony actually being out there is... slim, but... he was my best friend, ya know?"

 "Yeah, I know." Steve nodded solemnly before letting out a somehow relieved sigh. "It'll be nice to have someone else at the compound. Ever since Rhodey started those relief efforts in Africa with Okoye, its been a little quiet, waiting for news from everyone else."

 "Yeah?" Bruce ran his hand through his curls. "Well, then it's good I'll be in town for awhile."

 "Oh my god, you guys are like the poster children for awkward tension." Natasha snorted as she hooked her arm around Bruces shoulders, and god did Bruce wish he weren't so short because then at least that would be a bit more difficult for her to do. "How about we all head back to the compound and watch a movie, I'm sure Clint will be okay for a couple more hours, Thors with him right now anyhow. They've been nonstop hypothesizing Thanos' whereabouts with Rocket for the past four days and I'm going a bit crazy with it."

 "Yeah?" Steve perked up at the mention of a movie day, Bruce could only recall the movie days they'd had as a team, before Ultron, before he disappeared. 

 Had they continued with that tradition? Or had things gotten too tense?

 "Yeah." Natasha smiled innocently as she shook Bruce under her arm. "Bruce can sit in the middle, since he's so calm and he’s the softest of us. You know, just in case one of us falls asleep and needs a pillow, I know how old men handle long movie hours."

 "I'll show you an old man." Steve grumbled as he narrowed his eyes playfully at her. "How many old men do you know that can do what I do?"

 "Eat Raisin Bran for breakfast without sugar?" Natasha huffed in return as her arm finally slid off of Bruces shoulder. "All of them."

 "Why add sugar to something that's already delicious?" Steve curled his lip in distaste and Bruce couldn't help but let out an airy laugh at the sight, Natasha had always had a way of riling him up. "What're you giggling about?"

 "Raisin Bran?" Bruce cocked his brow and Steve rolled his eyes as he sighed in exasperation. 

 "Raisins are delicious!" Steve groaned. "Why do you have to be old to enjoy the good things in life?"

 "Good? You think butter pecan is the best ice cream." Natasha spun on her heels as she stuck her tongue out of her mouth in childish fashion. "Honestly, only old men would choose butter pecan over chocolate mousse."

 "Or maybe you have no taste." Steve snipped back and Bruce found that for the first time in a week, he was actually smiling.

 They'd lost a lot. Less than some, more than most, but it warmed his heart to know that they could still have moments like these. That even through the sadness, through the darkness, they could have some semblance of light. Even if that light took the shape of an argument about ice cream.

 "You're both wrong, matcha green tea is the obvious superior flavor." Bruce threw his hat in the ring only to receive a disgusted gasp from Natasha and a disappointed look from Steve. 

 "You're both a lost cause." Natasha chirped as she continued explaining why both of their tastes in ice cream were inferior to even Clint, which honestly greatly insulted Bruce.

  Clint liked popsicles most.

 If only Tony were here to end their argument, he always had the most outrageous ways of settling a silly team dispute. Or... at least he did, back when Bruce was still an Avenger, four years ago. Would Tony still do that now? Would they be the way they are now, playfully arguing over ice cream flavors? 

 Bruce liked to believe they would, just like he liked to believe that Tony was out there, somewhere. That his science bro was still thriving, only kicking back, relaxing as he drifted back home. He was pretty sure Tony hadn't been dusted, he could feel it, but he knew his other hopes were for naught, and he was only proven right when Tony did finally return home because...

 Tony had not been thriving.

 at all.

Notes:

Please excuse or point out typos...

Okay, I didn't proofread this or my other fanfic chapter very well because I know there are some errors and typos but, I have good news. I'll be working on going back through and editing the typos out sometime this week because I just got my old laptop cleaned up and working again so, I have something other than a phone to type my stories out on now!! YAY!!

This chapter is kind of short but I do hope you enjoy it, I'll make sure the next one makes up for the lack of double word count! I hope this wasn't a disappointing chapter and I'm very sorry for the long wait!

Chapter 5: Chapter Four

Summary:

Bruce comes to a realization...

Tony and Bruce talk it out, a little...

Nat snaps back...

It didn’t take very long after Tony returned to realize why the Avengers were not... THE Avengers anymore. The way Steve held Tony when he stepped off that ship, Bruce could see the relief and heartache so clearly in those blue eyes, it hurt. The misery that shown in Tony’s eyes wasn’t much better, and the look only became even more crushing when Pepper stepped forward and whispered those words that so clearly eviscerated what was left of the billionaire genius.

“Tony...”

“No, not... I lost the kid... just, don’t...” Tony’s voice cracked as Pepper placed her hands on his cheeks, her thumbs rubbing below his eyes in place of where tears would be if the genius weren’t so malnourished and dehydrated. “Please...”

“I wish... God, do I wish I could tell you what you want to hear.” Pepper let out a shaky breath as Tony fell into her arms, seeking refuge in her tight embrace as his shoulders shook with dry, heaving sobs. “I’m so sorry, Tony.”

Bruce felt his heart break for his best friend. He’d not known little Ellie for very long, but he could see just how much she’d meant to Tony. Pepper had told Bruce stories, stories of the little girl and her adventures with Tony and her troublesome father. It was evident what kind of relationship Tony and her father had had together, and although Bruce hadn’t felt comfortable digging into their past, he couldn’t help but wonder what had ended things between him and Pepper. Now, he was starting to understand though.

***

“I’ve got nothing for ya, Cap. No
coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options. Zero, zip, nada. No trust.” Tony shuffled over to Steve as he ripped off the reactor stuck to his chest, dropping it in the Captains hand. “Here. You take this. You find him, you put this on, and hide.”

The way Steve clenched his jaw and the gut-wrenching look that took over his face at Tony’s words of distrust confirmed Bruce’s thoughts. Steve was in love with Tony, and whatever had happened between them had broken him and the trust between the team. 

Bruce’s heart sunk in a way he’d not experienced in a long time. It hurt to see Steve and Tony in so much pain, but what hurt more, and what made Bruce feel selfish, was knowing that his best friend had received the one thing Bruce had hoped for for so many years. It only made Bruce feel even more sick when Tony collapsed right in front of him.

***

After caring for Tony, they went after Thanos, which only dragged what was left of their team down into a deeper pit of despair. Tony was right, there was no winning, there was no victory here... the stones were gone. Their friends... their friends were gone. Millions of lives, all gone, and odds were, that was going to be forevermore.

***

Bruce took a seat next to Steve on the bench just outside the compound doors, his brows furrowed in sorrow as he looked at the man, somehow even more broken than before. He’d lost all hope, any semblance of light was lost and Steve looked more lost than Bruce had ever seen him and it was... unnerving to say the least.

“I loved him, you know?” Steve’s voice was weak, broken in the same way he looked. “But I broke him, I destroyed what we had one piece at a time until there was nothing left to scavenge.” He lifted his head and ran his hand through his hair as he let out a sigh, looking over the grounds as the sunset with a light orange hue. “I thought... I thought maybe, just maybe I could give him something. Maybe I could... and Bucky... god, I really thought I could fix this. I thought that was our chance, we could get back Sam and Buck and everything Tony lost and I could... maybe he would forgive me, ya know?” Bruce could hear it in the way Steve’s voice wobbled, see it in the way his eyes shown with tears that the soldier hated himself and god, could Bruce relate to that. “But he’s right, no trust. I’m nothing but a liar.”

Bruce wasn’t affectionate in touch, hadn’t been since his transformation, Natasha could attest to that. It’d taken her weeks to get him to let her hold him the way she wanted to, but there had always been something about Steve, something that made Bruce want to pull him close, tuck him into his chest and never let him go.

And here he was now, doing exactly that.

“Bruce?” Steve questioned, his body tense at the sudden movement. “What-“

“You’re not a liar, you’re just human.” Bruce answered and those seemed to be the right words because Steve relaxed in the physicists hold, wrapping his strong arms around his waist as he tucked his head into Bruce’s shoulder. “We all are.”

It was all Bruce could offer, all he knew he could do to comfort Steve at the moment. He felt the soldiers shoulders heave as he let out silent sobs, tears soaking his shirt and Bruce only pulled him in tighter. 

It was odd. Being the one to comfort someone when all Bruce had ever done was run away from his own emotions. 

Who was he to help someone through theirs when he couldn’t even control his own? Who was he to help someone through pain that wasn’t purely physical when he couldn’t even sort out his own inner-turmoil? 

Bruce was unworthy of anything from the Captain, he was lucky to even be allowed this moment. Lucky to be allowed to see such a vulnerable side of Steve. 

Bruce was pathetic.

And for the first time in for what seemed forever, Bruce could feel the Hulk agree with him on something. 

***

“I didn’t know.” 

Tony’s voice was rough, hoarse from the oxygen tube that Bruce had removed only a day ago. Tony had been sedated for a few days, mainly so his body could heal without being pushed by the relentless hero. It had been Bruce’s only option of treatment because Tony just never knew when to settle.

“Hm?” Bruce hummed as he swiped through his fellow genius’ medical files, marking down his vitals after his daily check-up. “That’s rare, you not knowing something.” Bruce looked up, a playful smirk on his lips. “What exactly don’t you know, Mr. Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist?”

“Damn right it’s rare.” Tony croaked awkwardly in an attempt at laughter before he let out a rough cough.

“Easy, Tiger, don’t push yourself.” Bruce snorted as he set down his tablet on the counter before rolling over to Tony’s bedside with a cup of water. “Take slow sips.”

“Yeah yeah, you got it doc.” Tony rolled his eyes as he took small, yet somehow dramatically loud, sips. Bruce couldn’t help but roll his eyes, he had missed his best friends antics. “I didn’t know how oblivious I was before Ultron... before you left.” Tony shakily handed Bruce the empty plastic cup as he licked his now wet lips. “How long have you been in love with Captain Dumbass?”

It wasn’t surprising that Tony had caught on, especially since he found out Tony had been pretending to still be unconscious half the day yesterday when Steve had shown up for a visit. It’d just been Bruce and Steve in the room, and when Tony opened his eyes after the Soldier left, Bruce had a feeling that his best friend had caught on to something, what with the way he’d looked at him, yet he had waited until the next day to bring it up. 

Maybe he was hoping to give Bruce time to prepare for the interrogation?

Bruce could only hope his intentions were so pure.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Bruce tried to dodge the question, though a lousy attempt it was.

“Bruce, baby, I know you’re not trying to hide it from ME, you’re favorite person in the world.” Tony huffed, his raspy voice going a little high pitched and a small smile slipped onto the physicists lips. “I might be dumb, but I’m also a genius. So, how long?”

“That... makes no sense.” Bruce snorted again before meeting Tony’s eyes, the way they were sunken in made Bruce feel sick. Tony didn’t deserve to suffer the way he did, he was a hero through and through and god did it pain him to see him this way. “You can’t claim to be a genius and be dumb at the same time.”

“Blasphemy.” Tony snorted in return before, once again, digging in his heels. “Bruce, how long?”

Bruce took a breath as he averted his eyes. This was an uncomfortable topic, how could he talk to his best friend about the man he loved when the man he loved had been in love and loved by said best friend?

“Does it matter?”

“Does it matter?” Tony echoed back and Bruce immediately felt guilty. “Of course it matters! You matter to me Bruce, more than you know. So, just please tell me.”

“Tony...” Bruce trailed as he brought his hand to his face and massaged his eyelids. “You really wanna know?”

“Yes, absolutely.” Tony nodded as Bruce looked back over to him.

“Okay.” Bruce clasped his hands together as he leaned against the rails of Tony’s bed. “Since... since after New York, I guess.”

Silence swept across the room as Tony processed his answer, and Bruce knew exactly what was to come next, because he knew Tony. He knew exactly how Tony would react to that news, exactly how he would feel knowing that information.

There was only one word for the emotion that took over Tony’s features.

“After... That whole time... and I...” Tony trailed as his face shifted from confusion to realization and then lastly, guilt. “Bruce, I... I thought... you and Nat...”

“Back then...” Bruce shrugged. “Nat knew, and she only knew because she sussed me out when our whole... ya know.”

“So, that whole time... you guys...”

“Less fiery and passionate now that you know, huh?” Bruce shrugged. “Yeah, now you know why I left, the big secret.”

“The big guy always looks after the little guy.” Tony’s lips quirked slightly before falling once more into a frown, his eyebrows following suit into a furrow. “Bruce... I didn’t know. How could I not know?”

“I didn’t tell you.” Bruce sighed, he really wished he didn’t have to have this conversation but Tony was his best friend and he could never turn him away. “It wasn’t something I felt needed to be discussed. It was irrelevant.”

“No, hey, no! Nothing about you is irrelevant!” Tony rasped his objection. “That’s big, tha-that’s the most relevant thing in the world! Bruce, you- I...” Tony bit his bottom lip as he caught Bruce’s eyes once more. “You’ve got to know, I would have NEVER... if I had known, I wouldn’t-“

“No, don’t.” Bruce cut him off, Tony always had a way of making his happiness invalid and Bruce wouldn’t let him make what little happiness he’d had with Steve in the past into some... horrible crime on their friendship. “What you guys had, whatever happened... there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You can’t control who you love, you don’t get to feel guilty just because I loved him too. You didn’t do anything wrong Tony, I didn’t lay claim to him and I was never going to step up to bat anyways. My relationship with Natasha was evidence to that, and I left. What happened while I was gone... you didn’t know and I wasn’t here.”

“Yeah...” Tony trailed before falling into silence and Bruce let his eyes slide down to Tony’s frail hands as the billionaire tapped his fingers against the soft, white comforter. “Alright, but I... it’s over now. You know that right?”

Bruce rolled his eyes, there was no stopping Tony from wading in his own pool of guilt. You could try to pull the plug but the drain was always going to be clogged.

“Yeah, I got that message loud and clear when I held him at the compound entrance.” Bruce huffed as he stood from his mobile stool. “You guys really did a number on each other, huh?”

“It... wasn’t good, no.” Tony huffed as he leaned his head back against his pillows. “Our relationship was never smooth and we tried but sometimes the pieces don’t line up.”

“Yeah, I know.” Bruce smiled as he lay his hand on the infirmary door handle. “Pepper will be here in two hours, get some sleep.”

“Yeah, alright doc.” Tony smiled as he closed his eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Buzz, if you need anything.”

“And have blue meanie cut off my hand? Hard pass, I’ll wait for Pep.” Tony smirked and Bruce let out a small chuckle as he closed the door behind him, leaving the man of iron to get some much needed shut eye.

Before Bruce could turn the corner, Natasha’s familiar voice spoke up from around the side. 

“Tough conversation.” Her eyebrow quirked in that knowing way that Bruce sometimes hated. She knew too much for her own good sometimes.

“Of course you heard that.” Bruce sighed as he walked past her, only for her to stroll at his pace for conversation. 

“Hey, you had to tell him eventually.” Natasha responded and the nonchalant tone annoyed Bruce enough to make him stop to face her. 

“Why didn’t you tell me it was Tony?” Bruce crosses his arms.

He knew Natasha liked to withhold information, knew she didn’t like to step into the middle of things that didn’t directly involve her, but he’d at least thought she’d tell him something like this. At least thought she’d tell him that the man he was in love with had been with his best friend, IN LOVE with his best friend. He’d thought they’d at least had that trust between them.

“It wasn’t for me to tell.” Natasha shrugged, as if it meant nothing. “That’s Steve and Tony’s story, not mine.”

“It would’ve helped to know that, so I wasn’t blindsided.” Bruce was calm, he hadn’t said that with any edge, Nope. “How do you think that felt? Finding out that way?”

“Yeah? How do you think it felt when you disappeared?” Natasha snapped back, just as cool and collected as always, though her voice held that venomous tone that would leave lesser men shaking in their boots. Bruce knew her though, knew it was only there because she was hurting, more than he’d realized. “How do you think it felt knowing I was the reason you left? How do you think it felt not being able to tell our friends why? Why your other half decided I wasn’t good enough for you? Decided leaving was the best option because... because why? I didn’t tell you because their story isn’t mine to tell, just like yours wasn’t mine to tell.” Natasha gave him a hard look before turning and making her way down the hallway. “Some information isn’t for sharing, you should know that by now.” She threw over her shoulder as her figure disappeared around the next bend, leaving Bruce standing there, feeling like a total tool.

Nat was right, it wasn’t her place to tell him. That right belonged to Steve and Tony alone, and Bruce knew that, but he was frustrated and confused and hurt and he didn’t have a right to be, so he took it out on Nat and that wasn’t fair.

He’d need to apologize to her later.

God, was he an idiot.

The hulk hummed in agreement, once again proving to Bruce he was still there, just under his skin, always waiting to put him down.

What an asshole.

 

 

Notes:

Pls ignore or point out typos...

Hi guys, it’s been awhile. But here it is, the long awaited chapter five!!! I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 6: Chapter Five

Summary:

Healing a little at a time...

Tony only wants Bruce to be happy...

Bruce and Hulk come to an agreement...

Four Months Later

Bruce had only been able to convince Tony to stay in the hospital for two months, with the help of Pepper of course, before the billionaire Genius decided he was done with the dreary room. After two months of steady dietary restrictions and limited activity outside of the infirmary, Tony was doing a lot better and Bruce couldn’t help but smile as his friend bent over in laughter at the memory he had just reminded Tony of, the horrible lab accident that had turned the hulk, and Bruce, pink for a week. Although the memory was atrocious for the Jekyll/Hyde duo, it was so nice hearing Tony laugh so fully, no coughing or rasped breathing to interrupt him. Pepper sat beside him on the sofa, across from Bruce who was seated in the large blue arm chair, and it was evident that Pepper was ecstatic that Tony was feeling and looking so much better than he had been when he returned.

None of it had been easy, Tony’s condition combined with the evidential PTSD had been a difficult challenge to treat. The genius had suffered from horrific Nightmares, sleep paralysis and even sleep walking, which was dangerous for his weakened heart and body. There were a good handful of times when Bruce had to resort to sedatives to keep the Genius from further injuring himself in his panicked state. It hurt watching him struggle and live with that guilt when Bruce knew that Tony had done everything he could. They all had, though, to be fair, it had taken Bruce awhile to accept that himself. A few hulk sessions may have taken place in the reinforced hulk room that Tony had built for Bruce in hopes the physicist would return someday. 

“Don’t...” Tony wiped at his eyes as they trickled with tears from laughing too hard. “Don’t do that to me, oh my god, my ribs.” Tony massaged his ribs as a few small chuckles continued to fall from his lips. “I forgot about that, I can’t believe Thor thought it’d be a good idea to strike that barrel with lightening.”

“It was unfortunate.” Bruce clicked his tongue as he fought the smile from his lips. “Clint was such a jerk about it too.”

“Yeah, I remember Hulk chased him around the tower because he dropped that bucket of sparkles over his head to ‘complete’ the look.” Tony snickered as he turned to Pepper. “Do you remember how long it took the housekeepers to get that out of the common rooms carpet?”

“We never got it out, it was forever marred by your childish antics.” Pepper rolled her eyes in that playful way that said she was enjoying the conversation but was still trying to be an adult. “You fought me over replacing the carpet, wouldn’t let me because it was ‘a beautiful memory you never wanted to forget’.” 

“Wait, you never replaced the carpet?” Bruce felt the Hulk groan and he couldn’t help but relate, though maybe that wasn’t surprising because they did live through that incident together. 

“Of course not!” Tony smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “And when we moved facilities I made sure I still had the video too, memories last forever, Brucie!”

Bruce let out his own audible groan at that news. Tony would keep that video, wouldn’t he?

“Not that I don’t enjoy this conversation, but I’ve got some work to do.” Pepper stood from her seat, adjusting her jacket before giving Tony a light kiss on the cheek. “I will check on you tomorrow. Bruce, look after him for me?”

“Always.” Bruce smiled as Pepper slipped out of the room, leaving him alone with Tony.

He hadn’t asked any questions about their relationship, didn’t feel he had the right to, but god did he want to hear the details. Why did he walk away from such a fantastic woman? He could understand falling in love with Steve, he had experience in that field, but what lead him to Ellie’s father, Wade? Bruce wanted to hear about Tony’s life because, quite honestly, Tony had been living so much more than he had. All Bruce had to show for the last four years was a blank slate where the Hulk took over, the fight with Hela and their mutual battle with Thanos. It’d be nice to hear what Tony’s life had been like while he was gone from Tony himself.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Tony’s lips quirked up at the corner. 

“Is that so?” Bruce cocked his brow in amusement. “Enlighten me then.”

“You wanna know how I ended up where I am.” Tony clapped his hands as he waggled his eyebrows. “How I fell in and out of love with the wrong people until I fell into the arms of my mouthy Prince Charming.”

“That’s... exactly what I was thinking, actually.” Bruce tilted his head in surprise, he wasn’t expecting Tony to hit the nail on the head. “What was he like anyway?”

“Wade?” Tony pursed his lips in thought before answering. “He was mouthy, Dumb, annoying, reckless, sometimes outright disgusting, and honestly the most obnoxious man I’d ever met.” Tony smiled and Bruce furrowed his brow in confusion,  but before he could question Tony’s choice in men, the billionaire continued. “But he was the most caring, funny, thoughtful, and sensitive man I knew. Most people wouldn’t have found him handsome, he had... scars, but I thought he was the most attractive man I’d ever seen.” Bruce could see the mist in Tony’s eyes as the billionaire held back his tears, a soft smile on his lips. “I didn’t wanna admit I was falling in love, not at first, but when I met Ellie, and I saw the way Wade looked at her, the way he loved her so unconditionally, I couldn’t help but trip head first. I just...” Tony took a deep, stuttering breath as  the tears finally slid down his cheeks in silence. “I couldn’t help it. He made me feel... different. Happy.”

“Tony...” Bruce leaned forward, grabbing hold of his best friends hand in an attempt to comfort the billionaire. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’ve never loved anyone like I loved him. I love Pepper, don’t get me wrong, and god did I love Steve, but with him, it was different.” Tony sniffed as he drew his other hand up to wipe away the tears. Tony was never this vulnerable, but Bruce knew he felt safe with him and that meant a lot to the physicist. “Wade was like a missing piece I didn’t know I needed. It was like, when I finally realized what he was, what he meant to me, I could breathe easy. I wasn’t alone anymore, I had a family.” Tony bit his lip as he scratched his beard. “I... I had a daughter, Bruce. Not biologically, but she was mine, and he was mine... they were MINE. I had a family and I wish... I wish you could have gotten to know them because you would’ve loved them.”

“I’m sure I would have.” Bruce smiled at Tony before giving his hand a squeeze. “It took meeting her one time to know just how much Ellie loved you, you know. I didn’t get to meet Wade, but I’m sure he felt the same way.”

“I miss them.” Tony sniffed before letting out a heavy sigh. “Here I am, crying over what I’ve lost when I at least got to have it, even if only for a little while.” Bruce furrowed his eyes in confusion as Tony withdrew his hand. “Are you ever going to let yourself be happy, Bruce?”

“I don’t...”

“If you tell him, he won’t turn you away.” Tony smiled at him as he leaned back on the couch, arms crossed over his chest as he kicked his feet up on the oak wood coffee table.  “He’s broken, it might take him awhile to realize what he has, to step past it all, but there’s no way he won’t fall in love with you, Bruce. You should give him a chance, you guys always got along so much better than he and I did, we were a fiery ball of passion that fizzled out too fast, but I’ve seen you two together.” Bruce opened his mouth to object but Tony raised his hand to silence him. “Ah, no, I’m not trying to force you into anything. It’s your choice in the end, but I’m telling you, there IS something there, he just doesn’t know it yet. Steve’s dense, you just have to open his eyes. Give yourself a chance, Brucie. That’s all I’m asking, okay?”

Bruce swallowed, he’d never seen Tony this way. Back before he left, the genius was all banter and fun times, but it was evident that Tony had grown as a person while he was gone. It seemed like falling in love and getting hurt the way he had, opened his eyes in ways that Bruce would never fully understand.

“Okay.” Bruce nodded, he would give it a shot, but not now, not until he figured things out with the Hulk. Not until he settled things with himself. He didn’t need to drag Steve into his mess too. “I just need time.”

“That’s fine.” Tony nodded, a sincere smile spreading over his lips and Bruce could see the care in his eyes. “As long as you give yourself a shot, doesn’t matter when, just matters that you do.”

Bruce nodded in agreement, returning Tony’s smile before the billionaire genius changed the topic to something more light and fun. It didn’t take long before the room filled with his familiar laughter once more and Bruce knew he was blessed with friendship, if nothing else.

The Hulk agreed.

***

Two days later Bruce found himself arguing with his other half. Tony was doing much better now and Bruce had decided it was time he go back to Pennsylvania and finish what he had started. Tony insisted he could ‘find himself’ there at the compound, but Bruce knew this was something he had to do on his own. He and the Hulk needed to work things out one on one, without other people involved, because for once, Bruce needed to face him head on. No running this time.

The lab he had in Pennsylvania was on an old military base he’d run into as the Hulk. The whole base was deserted and there were no residential area for miles, a perfect place to let his inner beast roam while also having access to a lab, even if the equipment was a bit outdated.

“What do you mean I’m impossible?!” Bruce snapped from inside the Hulks head as the green giant kicked a tire into the side of one of the buildings out of frustration. “You’re the one refusing to cooperate! We had a deal, you come out when trouble comes lurking and I come out when there’s no threat!”

“Hulk tired!” Hulk stomped his large foot against the cracked, dry black top. “Hulk want time!”

“What do you mean you want time?! You had more than two freaking years of time!” Bruce snapped, which only made Hulk growl in frustration. “In Case you don’t remember, I lost years of my life because you wanted time!”

“Hulk has life too.” Hulk grumbled and Bruce couldn’t help but compare him to a petulant child. “Hulk never get time, Hulk always only fight.” Bruce held his tongue, as hard as it was, allowing the “beast” to elaborate. “Hulk just want life too. Want friends, like puny Banner.”

“You... what?” Bruce knew Hulk had changed, it was evident that he’d grown in some way since Ultron, after all the time on his own. What Bruce hadn’t considered was just how selfish he’d been, assuming Hulk still only wanted to destroy and smash. 

“Hulk make friends.” Hulk grumbled. “Valkyrie care about Hulk. Spends time with Hulk, Banner only lock Hulk away until Hulk useful.”

“That’s... I-“ Bruce cut himself short as he lost himself in thought, Hulk sat in silence, as if he were waiting on Bruce’s response. “I’m sorry.”

Bruce felt an unfamiliar feeling radiate inside his other half, a searing sensation. Not quite anger, but not quite sadness either. Almost like a frustrated acceptance of Bruce’s words. Either Hulk wasn’t going to listen, or he was waiting for a compromise. Bruce was betting on the latter.

“It’ll take a while.” Bruce finally spoke as Hulk took a seat on the hood of one of the abandoned cars on base. “You have to learn how to handle civilization, people, and normal interaction. We need to work on us too, work out an understanding on when which of us will be here... you can’t just go marching off wherever you want whenever you want.” Bruce felt the searing sensation begin to dissipate. He’d said something right, something the Hulk liked. “If we do this, if I help you, we have to agree on terms and conditions. Like, for example, no going out anywhere public without discussing it first, for either of us. We don’t make each other uncomfortable, we don’t do something the other doesn’t like, and we certainly don’t go out before we agree that we are both ready. Deal?”

The Hulk grunted in affirmation, but that wasn’t good enough for Bruce. The physicist needed dialogue, a solid answer, not a nod and a grunt.

“Real words, big guy.” Bruce chided and he could feel the Hulk roll his eyes in defiance before he answered.

“Hulk understand.”

“Yeah?”

“Hulk like plan, Hulk will do.”

“Alright.” Bruce felt a sense of peace he hadn’t felt in a long time, he wondered if maybe that peace was because he’d given the Hulk some kind of hope for normalcy. Something he probably should’ve done a long time ago. “We’ll start tomorrow.”

And that was the beginning of an endeavor that Bruce had never thought he’d take. Getting to know Hulk, developing a working relationship, helping the green giant become a person of his own...

Bruce never thought he’d see the day Hulk could walk in a crowded street without causing panic or fear.

Two years later, that’s exactly what they did.

 

Notes:

Pls ignore or point out typos...

I hope you guys enjoy this update! Sorry it took so long to get back to my writing, I will update Perturbed soon!

Chapter 7: Chapter Six

Summary:

Its been 2 years...

Bruce is finally all sorted out...

Natasha obviously has a plan...

Hulk gets one week, Bruce gets three, that was the agreement they'd come up with. They may renegotiate further down the line, but Hulk seemed to be placated by the promise, even if a little miffed that Bruce gets more time than him. They'd tested it out in larger and larger cities, with more and more people each month, and Hulk found he very much liked living his own life, and Bruce liked his 3 weeks of peace as well. They still had the agreement that Hulk come out when needed, and Bruce take over when needed, but their agreement was one of a mutual understanding and learned respect. Two years of practice had lead them to this point, lead them back to where he belonged, back to New York.

"Bruce?" The familiar voice that he'd only heard over the phone for the last two years put a smile on his face. Bruce had only taken time to visit Tony and Pepper, and their daughter, Morgan, during his training, but boy was it nice to hear Nat say his name in that familiar, happy tone. "How are you? I hope things went well."

"The big guy and I worked it out quite nicely, I think." Bruce smiled as he walked with Natasha through the compound hallway. "Given the circumstances, things are going pretty good."

"Thats good to hear, its the small wins that matter in these times." Natasha smiled back as she pushed open the door to the communications room, where a very familiar set of blue eyes crinkled at the sight of Bruce. "Look who decided to show up, Cap."

"Bruce!" Steve moved so quickly that Bruce didn't even have time to process his excitement before he was pulled into a familiar, firm chest. "I haven't heard from you in a few months and Natasha didn't really give me much to go on regarding your progress."

"In my defense, you could've called him yourself." Natasha quirked her eyebrow, a small smirk on her lips. "You have a phone."

"I didnt want to bother him more than necessary." Steve retorted as he stepped back from Bruce, his warmth hovering just out of reach as Bruce turned his attention to the super soldiers tired eyes and ruffled hair, and was that a blush he was noticing?

No, its probably just wishful thinking.

"It'd not have been a bother." Bruce smiled softly as he righted his glasses, they'd gotten a little skewed in the hug. "I'm always happy to hear from friends."

"Oh, ill... keep that in mind next time." Steve smiled softly at Bruce and the physicist could feel his own cheeks beginning to heat up.

Bruce let his eyes quickly flit to the schematics laying out on the large meeting table behind Steve. Steve followed his gaze and his eyes lit up when he noticed just exactly what Bruce was staring at.

"It's a dog orphanage." Steve explained proudly as he flipped the paper around to show Bruce the blue prints. "I've been noticing a lot of dogs on the streets, more than usual, so I thought it'd be a neat idea to make an orphanage for dogs." Bruce couldn't help but chuckle at the idea, Steve really was so soft hearted. "I wanna make it a place where people can come to play with them, kids probably would love it, right? And I figured, itd boost morale. We've been working on so much to help people and this is like... a side project, something to brighten peoples spirits. Dogs are good at those kinds of things, mans best friend and all."

Bruce could tell, by the way Steves eyes were shining, that this was something to boost HIS morale. Something to keep specifically Captain America moving, and he couldn't help but feel sad at what that implied about the super soldier.

Had Steve been destroying himself for the past two years? Bruce wished he'd been able to be there for him, assure him the same way Natasha had assured himself when the snap first happened. Though, Natasha had been with Steve the whole time, so she'd probably done that for the super soldier as well.

"I love it." Bruce studied the blue prints in awe. Steve had basically drew out an oversized dog house, and it was honestly the cutest thing Bruce had ever seen. "We can save dogs like Ricky."

Bruce hadn't meant to let that little tid bit slip out. He wasn't sure he'd ever told his teammates about his dog in Brazil, but he was also sure that if he had, they probably didn't remember that little fact anyways. There were more important things.

"Your dog from Brazil?" Bruces eyes widened at Steves words. Had Steve really remembered that?

"Oh yeah, you did have a street dog, didn't you?" Natasha chimed in. Bruce gave her a quick glance before returning his gaze back to Steve.

"Did you ever think..." Steve trailed as he bit his bottom lip. "I know its probably stupid and its been a long time so he's probably gone now but... did you ever want to go back for him?"

"I wanted to." Bruce felt a small pang of pain in his chest at the thought of his lost companion. "I just... never got a real chance."

Steve nodded in acknowledgement as he glanced back down at his work. Bruce really did wish he'd been able to go back for Ricky. He'd been rather fond of that cute little street dog.

"Maybe I could help you?" Bruce felt the words come out of his mouth before he'd even realized what he'd said. "I'm pretty good with animals... and it sounds like a good plan."

"Really?" Steves tone shifted to hopeful and Bruce felt his heart melt. Two years more, and he still felt the same way. Was Bruce ever going to be able to let this love go? "Nat wouldn't help me, said she has a lot of other stuff to work on and... there... aren't really a lot of other people I could ask. It'd be really nice to work with a teammate on this." Steves smile was as bright as the sun and how could Bruce ever even think of letting his love for the blonde go? It was ridiculous of him to think he could ever love anyone the way he loved Steve.

"Yeah, It sounds fun." Bruce tried to sound normal, he really did, yet the words came out shaky.

Steve didn't seem to notice.

"Great!" Steve tapped his fingers down on the table in a decisive move. "We can start gathering workers and materials tomorrow!"

Bruce could feel Natashas knowing smirk.

He could physically feel her joy at this sudden turn of events.

She almost seemed triumphant and- oh, she had planned this.

She had been waiting for Bruce to show up.

Shed known he was coming today. He'd told her and she'd remembered that damn dog...

That manipulative little...

But Bruce couldn't be mad.

Not when Steve looked so happily oblivious to her little scheme.

No, Bruce couldn't be mad when everything he'd ever wanted was standing right there in front of him, with that big smile on his face.

Bruce was so totally screwed.

Notes:

Hey guys! I know its been a long time... holy cow... but uhm, im back!

Hopefully some of you stuck around, and some new people are reading...

A lot of stuff happened over the past... year or so? (Idk how long its been exactly) BUT I never forgot about these fanfictions, my life has just changed so much and this became something I didnt have a lot of time for but here I am now!

I hope you guys like this chapter... it's a nice little break and cute little middle piece timeline for between our marvel wars. Gotta develop some cuteness for our two boys...

Anyways!

Pls ignore or point out typos, im typing on my phone so... I apologize!

Enjoy!

Chapter 8: Chapter Seven

Summary:

Morgan is adorable...

Pepper scolds Tony...

Bruce just wants to be with Steve...

Bruce thought Morgan was absolutely adorable. She was the smartest almost 2-year-old he'd ever met, and frankly, he'd not met a lot of toddlers, but his point stood nonetheless. Her pudgy cheeks, chocolate hair, and big doe eyes were exactly like her father's. She had Pepper's nose and complexion, though, which only made the chubby-cheeked baby even more adorable as she chucked one of the blocks she and Bruce had been playing with at Tony's head.

"I think it's a lovely idea." Pepper smiled as Tony let out a pained yelp. "I'd love to bring Morgan down to greet some puppies. I'll get pictures and have them passed out to get as many people informed as possible."

"That'd be great!" Bruce's smile matched hers as he stacked another block in front of Morgan, who was now paying more attention to her father's pained expression than the blocks themselves. "It'd be a real help; Steve really hopes it helps with morale, and quite frankly, he needs this."

"How far are you in the building process?" Tony groaned as he rubbed at the sore spot on his forehead, Morgan letting out a little giggle as she stumbled her way to her father. "That was just pure evil, Mors."

The toddler only gurgled in reply as she tumbled forward, basically falling onto Tony's face, which made Bruce smile. It was really cute, the relationship Tony had with his daughter. He could tell the relationship was important to Tony in a way Bruce could never fully understand. It was a couple of months after Bruce left for Pennsylvania when he received the call. It had been a huge surprise to him, almost giving him whiplash.

Last he'd seen Tony, he'd been heartbroken over Ellie and his lover, Wade, but now he'd been calling him to relay that Pepper was pregnant. At first Bruce was... worried. Worried Tony and Pepper were doing what he and Natasha had done, trying to heal eachother and wipe out their sorrow and loss, but when he visited them, he'd seen the reality. Pepper and Tony were as they always were; the pregnancy was by accident. They'd been drunk, consoling eachother and one thing had led to another. They weren't together; it had been a one-night stand they'd regretted, and at first, they'd been freaked out about the pregnancy but had decided that bringing a life into a world that had lost so many was a blessing. They'd decided to raise Morgan together, without being officially together, of course.

"It's almost finished, actually." Bruce replied as he stood from the ground, smoothing out his grey t-shirt. "We should be moving the dogs into the facility by next Monday; we open Wednesday."

"That's great!" Tony chuckled as he snatched Morgan off his face and swung her upwards as he stood from the floor. Making the toddler shout in glee. "I'll be sure to come down and visit."

"Really?" Bruce's eyes widened. He hadn't expected Tony to want to visit; he wasn't a huge fan of dogs, but that was besides the point. Steve and Tony hadn't seen eachother since Tony had recovered and left the HQ. Pepper had been their go-between, balancing everything with the Avengers and the Stark relations. "You don't have to if you're not okay with it."

"You're my best friend; I'm going." Tony rolled his eyes as he tilted his head at Bruce, tucking the toddler into his side. "I can play nice with your boyfriend for an hour or two, jeez, what do you take me for?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Bruce's face flushed as he narrowed his eyes at the brunette. "I'm just helping Steve out."

"Because you won't tell him!" Tony semi-shouted, exasperated at his best friend's refusal to confess. "Jesus, Bruce, you've been helping the guy with his project for 2 months. Pepper told me how you guys peek over at eachother when you think the other's not looking. Just fucking man up already!"

"Tony!" Pepper chided as she took Morgan from his hold. "As if you have any room to talk. How long did you pine after Wade before you stopped being an angsty teenage boy?"

"Pfft, that's different!" Tony waved her off as he gave a soft, reminiscent smile. "Wade was something extraordinary..." Tony trailed off, almost like he was lost in a memory. "Steve's just... Steve."

Bruce rolled his eyes before letting another smile quirk to his lips at his best friend's antics.

"Yeah, well, to you maybe." Bruce chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck, nervous. "I'm not really great at this stuff, Tony. Every relationship I've ever had was basically... hellfire."

"And?" Tony shrugged as he watched Pepper disappear down the hallway with his daughter before turning to face Bruce. "It won't be like that with Steve; stop being so negative."

"How could you possibly know that?" Bruce asked, exasperated. "It didn't end well for you."

"You're not me." Tony deadpanned as he stepped up to his friend, slapping his hands down to grip Bruce's shoulders. "You and Steve have a totally different dynamic. You didn't start out in a fire of gasoline; you're a... a... candle wick... just give it a light and let the wax burn."

"And when the wax runs out?" Bruce thought that analogy was ridiculous, but... Tony was ridiculous.

"Just fucking light another damn candle!" Tony gave his friend a shove, and Bruce stumbled backwards a little before catching his footing. "Now get out of my house and go and confess to the love of your life! I have to start on dinner for the lovely mother of my child before she becomes a hangry witch."

"I heard that, Tony!" Pepper called from the bathroom, where Bruce heard the water running as she prepared to give Morgan a bath.

"Of course you did; you were supposed to!" Tony shouted back, causing Bruce to snort. "And you, don't let the time you have with Steve flit by... I only had eight months of loving bliss with the love of my life before he was taken away from me... don't let that be you too, okay?"

Bruce felt his chest ache for Tony. He may have a happy family with Pepper, though they're only coparenting, but that didn't mean he couldn't see the emptiness in Tony's eyes when he thought of Ellie and Wade. He may have a biological daughter now, but the daughter he'd lost had left a hole in his heart, and the man he'd lost had left one in his soul.

"Alright." Bruce nodded in agreement, though he wasn't sure how well he'd be able to follow through; Steve made him ridiculously nervous. "I'll... try my best."

Tony nodded as he gave Bruce one final pat on the shoulders before letting him go. "That's all I want."

Yeah...

Bruce too.

Notes:

It's been a long time!!! Years even!!! But I've decided to update this fic... the last few years I've been doing a lot and this just crossed my mind!

(Pls excuse typos and errors as usual... im still not using a computer guys.)

Also... explanations about Tony and Pepper's relationship... don't worry, Wade is still in his heart, always.

Chapter 9: Chapter Eight

Summary:

Bruce wakes up in a strange apartment...

Emotional conversations ensue...

Could Bruce really have hope?

Notes:

Hi everyone, hopefully you like this chapter! I know some people do not like the way this fanfiction is going due to certain characters story lines, but I assure you, a sequel for your other favorite characters is in the writing. I'm currently rewriting the story in this one, as it is old and I have changes I want to make for Stark Desires story line so... please stick with me. I know its been years... I've been through a lot these last couple years... and now I'm trying to find the time to come back to my lovely fanfictions! YAY! Anyways, I hope you Enjoy!

Bruce rubbed the back of his head as he leaned forward, his neck aching from… he wasn’t actually sure. It’d been a week since opening the dog shelter, or orphanage, as Steve preferred to call it. Bruce rolled his head around to loosen the tension in his muscles before he finally let himself focus on his surroundings. He furrowed his brows as he found himself leaning against a dark blue sofa, a glass coffee table was pulled off to the side of the room, almost as if it had been moved to accommodate his other egos size.

“Where are we?” Bruce tried asking his inner beast, only to be left unanswered, which only made sense, it had been apart of their agreement. When one is in charge, the other sleeps… it was Bruce's way of keeping the Hulk out of his business. “Right, thanks big guy.”

Bruce let out a huff of air as he pulled himself to his feet, only now realizing he was in a pair of loose jogging pants, much too big for him, and a shirt two times his size. He wasn’t sure who’s clothes he was wearing, but he’d definitely need to clarify where it was appropriate to leave Bruce at during their next heart to heart. Bruce rolled the pants up at the waist in a hopeless attempt to stop himself from tripping over them as he walked.

When he felt he’d rolled them up just enough, he turned his attention forward, examining more of the living space around him. The living room wasn’t extravagantly decorated, though some hand drawn portraits lined the wall and Bruce's breath caught as he recognized the faces. Tony, his face peaking out from behind his mask of armor stared back at him, centered middle of the other four images above the stone fireplace. His eyes shifted to the right to find similar portraits of Natasha and Clint, and to the left he found Thor and a portrait of a long-haired man that Bruce recognized from his trip to Wakanda, it was Bucky. The rest of the walls were bare, aside from a clock on the wall that showed the time.

2:37.

Based off the lack of sunlight coming through the window at the far-right side of the living room, Bruce could surmise that it was AM, which meant Hulk had purposely left him here.

Annoying.

“Bruce?” A familiar voice echoed from behind the curly haired scientist, stopping his heart mid thump. “I thought I heard movement in here.”

Bruce held his breath as he turned around to find himself looking into a pair of icy blues, a set of eyes he would never have expected to wake up to.

What had Hulk gotten him into?

“Steve?” Bruce finally breathed out, confusion lacing his words as he clenched at the extra fabric of his pants, a nervous habit he’d developed at a young age. “What uh- where…”

Bruce trailed as he swallowed, trying to avoid admiring the way Steve's hair looked, messy from sleep, and the enticing way his shirt hiked the slightest bit, showing off a hint of the toned skin that lay beneath the fabric.
“Right, you have no clue.” Steve gave him a small smile as he stepped into the living room, a yawn escaping his lips as he lifted a blanket off the floor in front of the couch, obviously something he’d covered Bruce in after Hulk turned in his sleep, passing control back to the scientist. “Hulk was helping me track down strays, we were out pretty late, and I offered him to come back to my apartment to sleep, rather than try and make it back to the compound before midnight.”

Bruce unfurled his hand from his sweats as he nodded his head, still confused but coming to an understanding.

“You and… You guys hangout?” Bruce tilted his head in question. “I didn’t… know that.”

Bruce wasn’t jealous, that’d be stupid, he was… confused and maybe a little… hurt? Could Bruce say he felt hurt? Bruce had thought the shelter was he and Steve's thing but… was it stupid to be jealous of Hulk? It wasn’t like he’d set rules on Steve. Wasn’t like he could tell Hulk not to hangout with Steve. He didn’t own Steve… and wasn’t it a good thing that Steve was keeping an eye on his counter part while he was out and about? Yeah, Bruce couldn’t be upset, it wasn’t his place.

“Well, yeah? I hope that’s not too weird.” Steve placed the blanket back onto the cushions as he turned back toward Bruce. “I-I know I didn’t really ask but, I just thought you’d… appreciate him being looked after.”

“Yeah.” Bruce nodded, averting his eyes from the icy blues that had his neck heating up. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Steve smiled and Bruce just wanted to throw himself out a window right now. What a jerk, his counterpart knew how he felt about Steve, and Bruce was positive the big, green asshole had done this on purpose. “You, want some coffee?”

“This late?” Bruce cocked his brow as he let his eyes drift back to Steve. “Or should I say early?”

“I don’t sleep well.” Steve's eyes dropped to the floor. Was he embarrassed? “Nightmares.”

“I know all about those.” Bruce nodded in understanding. “Coffee sounds good, and if you want to talk about it…”

“Yeah, that’d- I could talk.” Steve nodded, his eyes coming back up to find his own, a wetness to them that made Bruce think that the Blonde was obviously feeling a bit emotional. “If you don’t mind.”

“I’m more than happy to listen.” Bruce gave him a soft smile as the blonde nodded and turned to lead him to the kitchen.

They sat in silence as Steve brewed the coffee, placing cream and sugar on the island as Bruce took a seat one of the brown leather bar stools on the other side of the counter. Bruce watched Steve reach up into his cabinet, his shirt riding up to reveal his lower back muscles, as he pulled down two dark blue coffee mugs. Bruce shouldn’t be ogling his teammate, he knows that, but he’d been in love with Steve for years and it had always been hard for him to keep his head straight in the larger man’s presence.

“So...?” Bruce spoke softly as he stirred the French vanilla cream into his coffee before dropping a cube of sugar into it. He’d always liked his coffee sweet; it’d always disgusted him that Tony took his black.

“I… did Tony tell you?” Steve asked as he brought his own mug to his lips, taking a small sip before setting it back down on the granite countertop. “About… Germany and...”

“Yes.” Bruce nodded as his heart ached at the pain radiating from behind Steve's eyes. “I know you guys fought, that Tony was left in Siberia… and that you two… ya know.”

Steve nodded, acknowledging his words as he leaned forward, his elbows leaning on the counter as he engulfed the seemingly small mug between his large hands. Bruce saw his fingers flex and his jaw work as he closed his eyes in thought, probably trying to form his response.

“I messed up.” Steve's throat bobbed as he opened his eyes, brows furrowed in sorrow. “Not just with Tony, but with my best friend too.” Steve glanced up at Bruce as he continued to explain. “Bucky was so mad at me, wouldn’t talk to me, he shut me out. Tony hates me, and Bucky… I-I never got the chance to try and make it right.” Bruce could see the wetness forming in his eyes again, and it made the curly haired physicist want to pull him into his arms and shield him from the pain he was feeling, but that wasn’t Bruce's place, so he’d do what he could and listen. “We exchanged a few letters, I was gonna do better, try and make things right but then Thanos and I had to watch him just… vanish. He disintegrated right before my eyes, and I couldn’t do a thing about it.”

Bruce licked his lips as he let silence settle between them, allowing Steve time to breathe as he sifted through his thoughts, searching for a response, one that may help comfort Steve in whatever small capacity he was allowed.

“Tony doesn’t hate you.” Bruce decided to reply with something he knew. He hadn’t known Bucky, he couldn’t bring Steve comfort about a man he’d only gotten to shake hands with for a brief moment, but he could talk to Steve about Tony. “He was hurt, angry, and sad… but Tony doesn’t have the capacity to hate someone like you.” Steve's eyebrows pulled together as he looked to Bruce to continue. “You’re not a monster, you’re bull headed and have very strong morals. Sometimes you rush into things without thinking about the consequences and you have the tendency to take the worlds problems and make them your own, which, in its own right, is frustrating… but you’re also caring and kind and your tendency to put others before yourself are all traits Tony shares with you and something that made him love you.”

Bruce heard the captain inhale at his words, but he chose to turn his eyes down to his coffee instead of focusing on the laser sharp eyes piercing into him now.

“You’re both good people, Steve. Tony could never hate you; he didn’t try to make you the bad guy, not with me, which means there isn’t any contempt, but there is pain.” Bruce could almost feel Steve's sorrow as he continued to explain. “But most of that pain seems to be from your side now.” Bruce glanced up to find Steve's facial expression warp from a guilty expression to one of surprise. “Steve, Tony has moved on, maybe he said some harsh things when he got back from space, but he was hurt from other things too. All that pain, it isn’t your fault, and I didn’t know Bucky but I’m sure he’d have been able to forgive you in the end, if you’d have had the chance to really talk.” Bruce licked his lips nervously as he stared back into the soldiers’ eyes. Steve's gaze was so focused, if Bruce had been a weaker man, he’d have melted under those icy blues. “You must forgive yourself. For Tony, for Bucky, Siberia… for Thanos… all of it.” Steve glanced quickly around the room before letting his eyes land back onto Bruce's soft brown orbs. “Forgive yourself, and maybe once you really do, you may be able to get some real sleep.”

Steve's lips quirked up into a shy smile as his eyes seemed to soften.

“Thanks.” Steve brought a hand up to his eyes, wiping at the wetness that seeped along his lashes. “I’m trying to forgive myself, it’s hard but, you’re right.” Steve brought his coffee to his lips as he took another sip and then let out a large breath. “Hearing that from you, I think it holds a little more weight. I know everyone on our team has been through some shit, Sam was helping us work on it all before… but its… I don’t know, you were always easy to talk to Bruce.” Bruce's heart stuttered at his words, but Steve obviously took no notice as he continued. “I know you’re not that kind of doctor, but you’ve always been really good at helping the team sort through our issues, maybe because you’ve had a lot of experience sorting through your own.” Bruce's chest warmed as he listened intently to Steve's words, and the affectionate respect laced within them. “It was weird, coming back to the compound after Sokovia and you not being here… felt like we’d lost a integral part of our team. Nat was hurt, though she’d never admit it, and Tony missed you a lot, was searching everywhere trying to track you down.”

“So, I’ve been told.” Bruce let out an airy half laugh as he let the guilt wash over him. It hadn’t been his fault that Hulk had taken control, but he still felt guilty he’d left them all like that. “I wish I could’ve stopped him.”

“Hulk?” Bruce nodded at Steve's question, and the blonde shook his head. “Nah, I think it was for the best. Yeah, we missed you, but if he hadn’t taken you away then you wouldn’t be where you are now. I think you guys needed that space to figure stuff out, and anyway, Nat recently told me you’d latched onto each other out of convenience, and it was good you left. Gave her some clarity.”

“Natasha said that?” Bruce asked in slight surprise and suspicion.

What else had to spidery red head told him?

“Yeah, though she also said you had feelings for someone else but wouldn’t say who.” Steve rolled his eyes at Natasha antics and Bruce let out an inconspicuous sigh of relief. At least she'd left him some of his privacy. “Left me reeling but I figured if you wanted to tell me you would, so I won't pry.”

“Thanks.” Bruce gave him another small smile. “I appreciate that, Tony would never give me that luxury.”

“Yeah, Tony's always been a bit of a nosy little busybody.” Steve laughed and Bruce couldn’t help the flutter in his stomach at the sound. “But, if you ever wanna tell me…”

“I’ll keep you posted.” Bruce felt the blush creep to his cheeks and Steve's grin grew at his words.

“For sure.” Steve pulled himself from the counter, stretching his back as he glanced at the clock on the stove. “Four O’clock… about time for my morning jog. I should go get ready.” He rinsed his coffee mug out in the sink before setting it down inside, turning back to Bruce.

Bruce gulped down the last bit of his coffee, under the impression that Steve was signaling for him to get ready to head on his way as the blonde went out for his jog. He followed Steve's example, rinsing out his mug and setting it in the sink before turning back to find Steve standing there, staring at him with a look he’d never seen the soldier have.

“You feeling okay?” Bruce asked, worry lacing his words and Steve seemed to snap out of his stupor, a light pink painting his cheeks and Bruce began to wonder if super soldiers could catch a fever.
“Yeah, I uh…” Steve seemed to fumble with his words before he shut up, licked his lips and tried again. “You going to be here? When I get back, I mean.”

“I can be.” Bruce shrugged as he felt his shirt shift, exposing his shoulder. “Though, I think I should head to my place and grab some clothes, these are a bit big.”

“Oh, yeah, of course!” Steve's face seemed to grow even more red, and Bruce was beginning to wonder if the soldier was embarrassed. “Sorry, I didn’t have anything smaller, I’m… quite a bit bigger than you.”

And that’s when Bruce's brain screeched to a halt.

For a guy who has seven PhDs, he sure was an idiot.

How hadn’t he realized the clothes he’d been wearing had to have been Steve's.

“Y-Yeah.” Bruce stuttered, glancing down at himself, his skin hot.

“You gonna come back after you change?” Steve asked, and it almost sounded pleading.

“Yeah.” Bruce repeated, feeling brainless. “I-I can do that.” He nodded as his heart pounded in his chest. “Gotta bring this outfit back anyways.”

“Oh…” Steve trailed, and Bruce felt so awkward and embarrassed so suddenly that he almost didn’t register Steve's next words. “You ain’t gotta, I have lots of sweats and shirts, I don’t mind if you keep ‘em.” Steve scratched the back of his neck, almost as if he were nervous, which was silly. Why would Steve be Nervous? “Kinda suits you.”

Wait, what?

With that Steve seemed to abscond from the kitchen, leaving Bruce alone to battle through his emotions as he got ready for his jog.

Had Steve just told him to keep his clothes?

Why?

Because it “suited” him?

Was… Was that flirting?

Could Bruce take that as flirting?

Was Steve attracted to him?

Was it too much to hope that Steve maybe liked seeing him in his clothes?

Maybe… Maybe Tony and Natasha were right…

Maybe Bruce did have a chance.

Maybe he could try… just this once.

Just this once…

Maybe Bruce could hope…

Notes:

Please ignore typos! If there are any, feel free to point them out, I'll try and edit them out, I have trouble finding them all before publishing and then later when I read it, I cry into my pillow.

Chapter 10: Authors Note

Hi guys, I know this story isn't as popular as Iron Ardor but I'm just putting this here for people to see. I understand if you come from Iron Ardor you might be saddened by Tony and Wade being apart, but this will be remedied in Stark Desire. It's taking me a while to update bc im rewriting and adjusting old story points, sorry! If you don't like this story, you can stop reading and wait for the other one to come out, I do apologize for the long wait. Also, there is no need to leave nasty comments, I understand you can have your opinions and critique is good, but there are polite ways of going about it, rudely commenting can destroy an authors morale and make them quit writing entirely. I appreciate those who give their opinions and I usually reply in kind, but I don't support just obliterating someone's work, no matter how poorly you think they write. I am not an author that will be discouraged bc a troll, but I just hate to see readers down someones work in such a way because you never know what could cause someone to quit creating. I will be updating soon, im on my first anniversary trip after getting married last year, sorry for the long wait, I dont have my story with me! I hope you are all doing well!

Notes:

Please ignore or point out typos...

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Infinitely Yours