Chapter 1: That's Survival
Chapter Text
The hot, musty air surrounded you as you walked through the forest, completely drenching you in a thin layer of sweat.
Your hair stuck to the back of your neck, making you even more uncomfortable than you already were. Your back ached, as did most of the joints in your body as you walked through the woods. Being comfortable these days was especially hard.
You had damaged one of your ankles when you were running away from one of the roamers that was chasing you down earlier that week. Not only that, but you were running dangerously low on ammo and were lost, far from your home. You really didn't have a choice to stay, though.
The whole neighborhood had been overrun with the roamers. Your house... As well as your aunt's house. You were on the lookout for them; her, your uncle, and especially, your little cousin.
Clenching your teeth, you stumbled to the side, clutching your ankle. In your pain, you clumsily knocked your shoulder into a tree, leaning up against it to regain your balance as best you could. C'mon, get back on your feet. You have to keep going.
Taking a large breath of air, you slowly straightened up, ignoring the pain in your back. Your eyes glued shut and your jaw tightened, but it didn't take you long to start walking again.
Pain is weakness leaving the body. That was one of your father's favorite catchphrases to use around you while he was home. You doubt that he made it up himself, but you remembered it, and now, it came to help more than ever.
To distract yourself from your ankle and back, you brought your blood-stained hand to the handle of the sword that was in a slot in your belt.
Luckily, before the breakout and before you graduated from high school, you had been part of the fencing team. Not only that, but you were most likely the best one.
On one of your few runs, you had broken into one particular house that seems to have an obsession with old weapons, and you were lucky to find a sword hanging up on a wall in the dining room.
You also had a small handgun, but you only used that for when you in an emergency. So far, you haven't been having any luck with finding any more ammo, but you were happy with the luck that you've had so far.
Overnight, you had been hiking up the mountains. In the beginning, you had heard over the radio that it was much safer and the roamers had some trouble getting up the mountains and steep hills.
You hadn't heard much after that, and the connection had cut off, but you had been making good progress.
Food was also another thing that you had noticed was dwindling.
While checking out a rundown department store, you had found some cans of peaches. Three out of the four cans you found had been broken open, and you could only take one with you.
It was still in your bag, but the pain in your stomach wasn't bad enough for you to crack it open yet. Still, you needed to find food, and you hadn't come across anything to eat yet other than a few clusters of berries.
No matter how quiet you were, you still had sticks cracking under your feet and you had to wade through bushes, but none of that could be helped at all.
You were just glad that you hadn't accidentally stepped in any poison ivy or had to walk through any thorn bushes yet.
You already could have had some kind of infection anyways with your ankle. But, every time you checked it, the swelling had gone down some, which you were relieved about.
Really the only reason that it was still sore was that you had been walking for so long.
The backs of your ankles had been worn raw and large blisters broke out, trailing up for about an inch. They were lined with dirt and bled from time to time, but there wasn't much to be done about it. All of the medic supplies had been cleaned out of the shops.
Lost in thoughts, you jumped and spun around as you heard a stick crack not too far behind you.
It took you one second to remove the sword from your sheath, standing in place for a while. You could only hope that it wasn't a roamer and that it was something able to be hunted down and roasted over a fire.
Slowly, ankle to toe, you walked through the underbrush, holding your sword tightly.
One thing you made yourself promise was that you never would use your gun on anything that wasn't a life or death situation. So far, you were lucky that you hadn't come across any of that except for a few times.
Carefully, you came up to a bush, kneeling down behind it. Trying not to make much noise, you brought a hand up and gently pushed some of the leaves to the side.
Out in the middle of the clearing, a deer stood there, peacefully and stone still.
It flicked its ears and ran its nose on the ground, looking for anything it could scrounge up under the leaves that had piled up on the forest floor. It was perfect.
The animal had its guard down and had its attention focused on something completely different than looking out for itself. It almost made you feel bad about needing to hunt it down. But, that was survival and how anyone could stay alive out here.
Learning the way of survival was definitely difficult for you when you first got out there, but it didn't take long to fall right into line with everyone else that was out there.
Slowly, you crept around the cover of the bushes, never once taking your eyes off the animal ahead of you. You kept your sword in front of you and the blade facing away from your body, but still at the ready.
All hope was going to the fact that no stick would let out a large crack and scare it away, and that no roamer would decide to make a surprise appearance.
You had gotten out of the bushes and into the clearing when something tore your vision away from the deer.
The sound of an arrow sifting through the air rung out, and the sound of the deer letting out a short cry before bolting off soon followed.
Your gaze snapped back to the animal as you cursed under your breath.
The thought that there had to be someone who had shot that bow quickly came to mind after that.
You hesitated, contemplating if you had the strength to fight off whoever this was and taking the deer.
Rustling trees and snapping sticks made the decision clear, and you didn't wait any longer before tucking your sword in and leaping back into the bushes.
You began to try to calm down your breathing and managed to keep it quiet, but you were more concerned with whatever was coming out of the bushes.
It didn't take you long to spot a darker blot against the background of the forest making its way through the undergrowth. You huddled down deeper into the bushes, keeping your hair out of your face and waiting for it to step out into the clearing.
Your heartbeat pounded in your ears as a tall, muscular man stepped out of the bushes, wielding a crossbow. He had shaggy, dark brown hair that was a bit under mid-length with thin hair lining around his mouth and jaw.
You attempted to back deeper into the bushes while still trying to stay as quiet as you could, not wanting to cross paths with him just yet. You watched him as he knelt down in the clearing, clenching your sword tightly until your knuckles had turned white.
The man had his eyes scanning the ground, looking for the blood trail of the deer he had just hit.
It didn't take him too long to look off into the direction of which the deer went, loading the weapon again, and jump back into the forest and out of the clearing.
Holding your breath, you waited a few more moments. The only way that you could feel remotely safe following someone with that kind of weapon was if you had at least some distance between you and them.
Quietly, you stood up, walking around the bushes and staying completely silent.
Once again hesitating, the thought came back to mind. Is it worth the risk? You had been banged up and hardly were able to walk and stay quiet at the same time as it is.
On the other hand, that deer would last you a hell of a lot longer than one small can of peaches would.
A stab of pain shooting through your stomach made the final decision easier to make. You turned your head, eyes following off where that man went, and soon, so did you.
Walking provided enough time to decide how to knock off the deer, even if the price was a little bit... cruel.
It came down to waiting for whoever that was to bring it down and then threatening the man. Make him give you the kill or the deer wouldn't be the only dead thing on the ground. You just hoped it didn't have to come to that.
Killing the living was much harder than killing the dead, but sometimes it's what it came down to.
Plus, if he decided to fight back it was pretty obvious that you wouldn't have the strength to take him on to the best of your abilities.
Again, it was pretty obvious that you would have to catch him off his guard. Stealth wasn't the most exciting way of doing things, but it was the only thing that you had enough energy for.
Hopefully, after you got the deer, you would be able to get some of your strength back into your body.
A snap of a twig ahead of you made you freeze in your tracks and move over to the cover of a tree. Your heartbeat rose in your ears again, peering around the tree.
Again, you saw that shaggy, redneck man again, crouching behind some bushes.
He had his back to you and was aiming his crossbow, unaware of anything else around him.
Glancing down at your sword, you weighted the options in front of you. You could kill him now, or wait for him to bring down the deer, but he might be more aware by then.
Breathing heavily, you peeked back around the tree, catching the moment he shot another arrow.
He got up quickly as another shrill call from the deer echoed around the forest and the snapping of twigs signaled that the deer had gone off again.
The man followed after, and you were about to as well when you heard faint snarling coming from off in front of you.
A roamer started to stumble through the thicket, knocking into things like a drunk man walking through the streets.
"Shit," you whispered, not hesitating as you turned around and started to make your way in the other direction. The roamer hadn't seen you, but it had been alerted by the deer's cries.
Maybe, if you stayed out of its way, you could lure it towards the man and get his attention away from his kill and you might be able to get to it before he could.
It was a stretch, but you could use all of the help that you could, even if it was using the dead. You knew it was low, but the world had become a living hell, and survival had been put at the top of your list, right under finding your aunt and niece.
Keeping as quiet as possible, you quickly started to walk away from the roamer, keeping your eyes locked behind you. It knew where to go, and you didn't need it picking up on the noise that you were making.
You veered off from directly following the man and the deer, putting some distance between you two.
If you walked off to the right, maybe you could flank him, or that roamer would get to him first, and make it easier for you.
With your mind on the food, your ankle and back pain seemed to melt away. This hunt was a good distraction from them.
Your sword was held with one hand and you kept the other clutching the strap of your backpack that hung around your shoulder.
There weren't many contents inside, so the noise that it made was minimal and you were light on your feet. It also reminded you of how hungry you were.
You had been walking for a while now and figured that you had lost the roamer. You couldn't have been that far away from wherever that man you had seen earlier was either.
The hand that was clenching your sword had grown sweaty and sticky and your heartbeat had calmed down. All, you had to do was find that deer and that man and stay out of the roamer's way.
Twigs snapping and rustling started to come closer and closer to you, and you didn't hesitate to kneel down into some bushes.
All you could do was wait for something to step out in front of you and keep your blade ready. You waited and waited, growing even more impatient as you heard the sounds coming closer and closer to you.
The thought of killing that deer and finally getting some food in your stomach made you restless and jumpy. It also made you unaware of where that noise was really coming from.
It came closer and closer, and you tensed up, ready to spring out of the bushes when you saw it. It was so close you could-
"Drop your weapon."
Chapter 2: Lost and Found
Chapter Text
Again, your heartbeat returned to your ears as you knelt on the ground, silently cursing yourself for not paying attention. Still, you didn't let go of your blade, staying on the ground.
"I said drop your weapon!"
A low, husky voice demanded this again from behind you.
You could only assume that this was the man you had been following earlier and that the deer must have veered off to the right as well, leading him right to you.
Reluctantly, you let it go, placing it down beside you.
Not long after, the man pulled the sword towards him, putting it behind him. He knelt down behind you and started to rummage through your backpack. As he did this, your jaw clenched.
Great... Now you're getting robbed. He's gonna leave you for dead and now you've got nothing.
Little by little, you felt your bag getting lighter and lighter as the man behind you took the supplies out.
There really wasn't much in it anyways. Only the peaches, your old mp3 player, a flask, a comic book, and a blanket.
You didn't have a long time to get out of your house and had even less time to grab anything essential. Half of those things were just things that were already in there from before.
Eventually, he ripped the bag off your shoulder all together, feeling around inside for anything hidden. "Get up."
Once he finished looking in your bag, he slung it over his shoulder, letting it hang over some dead critters that were already hanging on his back.
Before you even had the chance to stand up yourself, he had grabbed you by the arm and dragged you to your feet.
By then, you had half a mind to turn around and punch his teeth in, but you knew that that was only your anger flaring up. You had almost no strength to go up against him anyway. The best thing was just to follow what he said and hopefully, you'd be able to leave here alive.
"You got any more weapons on you?" Your lip twitched, staying silent as he started to put the contents of your bag into his. "Hey!"
The man spun you around by your shoulder, making you bite the inside of your cheek to keep from groaning in pain as your ankle was put at a weird angle from the sudden movement.
"I asked you a question, bitch," he glared at you, holding his crossbow. You felt a rush in your head at what he called you, making your fists clench.
At the moment, you would give anything to just get a swing in, maybe mess up his jaw a bit. Even though you wanted to, you knew that that was close suicide.
Taking a breath, you hissed out through gritted teeth, "In my pocket." With that, the man reached down, pulling out the handgun that was tucked under your shirt.
Like the other things, he put it into his bag. "Well, I got what I wanted out of you." He leaned down and picked up your sword, putting it in a loop in his belt.
After that, he raised the crossbow only inches from your head. "Looks like I don't need you anymore."
The heartbeat in your head picked up its pace as you looked death in the face. You had definitely been in the wrong place at the wrong time and you were paying for it. "Got any last words?"
You took a long drag of air in, trying to gather yourself and keep the fear out of your eyes as you looked him dead in the face.
The man showed no expression at all as he held the deadly weapon to your head. You glared right back, peering through narrowed eyes. You'd never beg. Not for your life, and not for anything.
When you kept silent, he shifted a little, shrugging almost as his finger wrapped tighter around the trigger, "Alright then." You kept your eyes open, thinking your last thoughts and showing that you were not afraid to die as you waited for the man before you to let the arrow loose.
Right behind you, not only fifty yards away, you heard children screaming.
The weapon in your face lowered as the husky-voiced man in front of you looked off over your shoulder. You didn't move, but your eyes never left his weapon until you looked up at his face.
His clothes and face were smudged with dirt, and he had a southern accent. Your good old American Redneck.
He looked back from you to off where the screaming came from, seeming pretty torn between making the decision of putting that arrow between your eyes and going off to help with whatever that was.
From what you could assume, that man knew those people or those kids. You also were certain that the roamer that you saw earlier had gotten to them.
A loud, annoyed groan left the man's chest, not making much of a rush to go and help whoever had screamed. This was when you were sure that he was just going to pop that arrow right in between your eyes and step over your body like nothing.
"C'mon."
Pain shot up your leg and you hissed out a puff of air as the man clasped your arm and forcefully ripped you to the side. All you could do was stumble along with him and stay quiet.
Maybe after this, you would be able to get out of here. Maybe there were others in his group- if he had one- and maybe they would help you find your cousin and aunt.
'Maybe' s were all you could cling to nowadays. Maybe that shop had some food. Maybe if I go that way, I can find my family. Maybe if I do this, I can survive just one more day.
You blinked as you walked alongside your attacker, seeing stars in your vision. You knew that your mind was wandering to things that weren't important and that you were losing your focus.
It could have been a symptom of dehydration, but that wasn't something you could deal with at the moment.
The man beside you seemed to know where he was going, and you couldn't pull away. All you could do was shut up and wait.
You started to pant, struggling to keep up with him running, but you didn't have another choice.
It didn't take long for you to see a break in the woods that you were heading to. It also didn't take you long to see that there were other people.
There were only two ways this could go.
One, this group would keep you tied up and as a prisoner, or even kill you. The other was much less likely if everyone was like the man who had found you out in the woods. They might take you in, or you might recognize someone there.
You two eventually closed the gap between you and the clearing, both pushing through the bushes that lined the edge of the woods.
Your eyes widened as you noticed the number of people who were standing at the edge of the forest, and once they saw you, almost all of them pointed their guns at you.
The man still had a firm grip on you when he walked out, looking down at what was in the center of the group.
He said nothing about the fact that damn near everyone was pointing their weapons at you, and only seemed upset about the dead deer in the center that had gotten its neck ripped open by the walker you had seen earlier, "Son of a bitch!"
You still looked around at everyone as everyone looked back at you. One man with short, curly brown hair spoke up, "Daryl, who is that?"
Before the man, whose name you assumed was Daryl answered, you were thrown down to the ground by him.
No matter how hard you tried to hide it, you groan out in pain, coughing as you inhaled some of the dry dust that you had kicked up.
Another man with a pitchfork in his hands hurried over, placing his foot on your back to stop you from getting up and pinning you to the grown. "That's my deer!"
Your attacker seemed like he had completely forgotten about why he brought you out here and seemed more concerned with the deer he had lost now. "Daryl, who is this?!"
The man who had asked this before repeated himself, coming over to look at you, pointing his gun in your face in the process.
"That's just some bitch I found out there. Was gonna kill her before one of them runts squeaked." His reply was aloof and like bringing a stranger to your group was a normal thing.
Everyone's attention was on you, while Daryl seemed to be the only one concerned with losing the deer, "Look at it. All gnawed on by this-"
In a fit of rage, he brought his foot back and kicked the headless body of the roamer in the side over and over again with every word.
"Filthy! Diseased! Motherless! Proxy! Bastard!" He knelt down, looking over the kill, "Been tracking this for miles. Think we can cut around that chewed up bit? Cook us up some venison back at camp?"
The other man, who looked as though he held himself as the leader of the group, looked over his shoulder, "I won't risk it, but we've got something else to deal with. You just brought someone to our camp, Daryl. If she's got others, she can tell where we are now."
While on the ground, you still coughed quietly, looking up at the man asking all of the questions. "Who says she's gonna get out of here? I say we take care of her ass."
Getting up, your attacker drew a small knife out of his belt and started walking over to you.
Your eyes darted around to the other people, with some of them looking just as shocked as you were. But, they didn't say anything, despite some of them looking hesitant.
Seeing that you weren't getting any help, you started to move and shift under the foot that was still planted on your back. It only pressed down more as the man came closer to you with the knife.
"GET OFF ME!" You screamed at the man above you, trying to overthrow him with your weight, or at least push him off balance so that it would give you a chance to get up. Dying didn't scare you, but you sure as hell weren't going out like this.
"[Y/N]?!" A frightened voice that came from the back of the group made everyone freeze.
Your heart skipped a beat as the familiar sound reached your ears. You looked up, scraping your chin against the dirt ground. You almost believed that this was just another symptom of you being so dehydrated until one of the other men spoke to the two people there.
"You know this girl?" The leader asked, lowering his gun a little but keeping his finger on the trigger.
Without giving an answer, one of the two broke away from the other and ran towards you. "Get off her, Jim."
The foot that was on your back lifted up as he back away, and you immediately got up to your knees.
Relief and happiness washed over in a wave, and tears welled in your eyes as the person who called your name out came running as fast as they could towards you.
The people that you had been out looking for since the beginning where right in front of you, and it didn't seem real to you.
It always was a possibility that you had been killed already and you somehow made your way to heaven.
Weakly, you whispered out, reaching out to her as she ran into your arms, "Sophia..."
Your arms wrapped around the little girl's shoulders, squeezing her as tight as you could as she did the same back. This was an even better distraction from the pain that you had.
You closed your eyes, sighing out and smiling ear to ear. Your niece was here, and she was in your arms again. That was all you could ask for.
When you thought that things couldn't possibly get any better for you, you opened your eyes.
Another person was also quickly making their way towards you with the same look of relief and happiness on their face.
Now, you couldn't hold back a happy laugh as you reached out to the older woman with one of your arms, keeping the other tightly wrapped around Sophia.
The woman was quick to fall into your embrace, tears spilling down her cheeks as she did. "Oh my gosh..." She laughed through tears, tightly hugging you and Sophia at the same time.
"Carol..." You pulled back from both of them, smiling still as one tear rolled down your cheek, "I'd never thought that I'd see you again..."
All of you laughed just before or either of them could say anything else, the leader stepped forwards towards you, "Now, this is all very sweet, but we need to get back."
As he said that, you looked up at him, straight-faced and back to showing no emotion.
If this prick thinks he's going to split my family up again I-
"Do you have a group?"
Your narrowed eyes didn't change as the group's leader asked you a question. After he didn't get an answer, he sighed and spoke again, "Just tell us if you have a group or not. You obviously know some of our people, and we just want to know."
After he finished, you looked back at Carol and Sophia. Sophia looked back at you, almost worried, but when you looked at Carol, she nodded. You figured that she was telling you that you could tell them, so you turned your head back to the leader. "No."
Your reply was dry and bleak, and like your face, showing no emotion. The leader nodded, lowering his weapon to the side and turning to Daryl again, "You said you had all of her weapons?"
Still seeming upset about losing the deer, he nodded, "Yeah, they're in my bag." After that, he took out your sword that was in his belt and threw it on the ground.
"That's her's, too," he added, changing the subject soon after that. "I got some squirrels I'm gonna cook up. About a dozen or so." The leader nodded, turning back to you.
By now, you had gotten up with Sophia and Carol, standing beside them. He looked at the weapons that Daryl had thrown down and then back to you, "You'll get those back... In time."
Now that you had been let up off the ground, you finally had a chance to look around at everyone who was looking at you.
There was a hobo-looking man who was the one who had held you down with his foot, wearing a baseball cap. There, of course, was the leader, who was wearing a brown cap with heavily muscled arms. On the other side, you saw an older man.
Judging by what he was wearing, you assumed that he was either a fisherman or one of your classic tourists. The only thing he was missing was a fanny pack.
Moving on, you looked at an Asian boy in a baseball cap. He only looked to be in his early twenties at the most. Next person that you saw was a darker-skinned, heavy-set man.
Standing right beside him was a taller man with black hair, sprouting a few grey hairs here and there. Everyone's gaze turned to two girls on the outside of the group when one spoke out, "Oh, God..."
The other girl, who looked older, put an arm around the other blonde's shoulders as she led her away.
Your gaze followed her's down to the head of the roamer that was still snapping and clicking its jaw.
"C'mon people, what the hell?" Your attacker had loaded his bow again and had walked over to it. He was only a few inches away when he shot the arrow right through the roamer's skull.
After seeing that, you realized that was how you could have ended up if you hadn't been as lucky.
After the jaw stopped moving, he stepped forward, placing his foot on the roamer's forehead as he ripped it out.
"It's gotta be the brain." He looked around at the people there, pausing a moment before starting to walk off towards where the two other girls went, "Don't Y'all know nothin'?"
Chapter 3: Pulling Weight
Chapter Text
"Now, you tell me if this is too tight. Alright, hun'?" You looked up, forging your best smile as you nodded to Jacqui. "Yeah, thanks."
"
When she finished up wrapping your ankle, she pulled out a water bottle from her bag. Locking your gaze on it, you held yourself back from ripping it out of the older woman's hands.
You couldn't remember the last time you had something to drink and the water that you had come across was obviously water that you couldn't drink without some serious consequences.
When Jacqui finally handed you the water bottle, you nodded in thanks and opened it slowly. You didn't need to show anyone here how bad of shape that you were in. You already looked bad enough.
Taking a drink of the cool, fresh water calmed the burning in your throat and soothed some of the pounding headache you had.
"Now, you just rest up and stay off that ankle," Jacqui instructed as she started to get up. You set the water aside, wiping your lips and narrowing your eyes. Being told to do wasn't your favorite thing, and it usually didn't work.
As she walked out, you shifted your weight so that you were closer to the opening and you could look out. Just as you got settled, you heard another familiar voice that was getting closer.
"Merle! Get your ugly ass out here!" The same Redneck walked past your tent towards the large RV that was parked close to the tent you were laying in. "I got us some squirrel we can stew up and some new meat."
The rest of the group that you had seen followed up behind him, led by Shane. Jacqui had told you the names of the people that were unfamiliar to you and an idea on what they were like.
"Daryl," Shane spoke up, staying back and away from Daryl, who was laying some of his kills out by the fire. "Slow up a bit. I need to talk to you."
From his body language, you could tell that Shane wasn't too terribly thrilled with sharing what he had to with Daryl.
After he had finished putting his things down, Daryl stood up, still holding the cluster of dead squirrels, " 'Bout what?" Now, the people were walking out of earshot. It was getting harder to hear them clearly, so you carefully pushed yourself up to rest on your good leg.
Jacqui had gone over to join some more women and children on the other side of the RV, and you were already out of the tent before she caught what you were doing.
"About Merle," Shane finally finished, rubbing a hand across his stubble-lined jaw as he spoke. Daryl's expression didn't change as he squinted at the leader of the small group, almost challenging him to go on.
You walked closer as best you could without putting too much weight on your ankle but at the same time, trying not to limp.
"There's- uh," Shane started up again, putting his hands on his hips and looking back at Daryl to carefully watch his expression. Still, you couldn't help but notice that almost no one was showing any concern about what had happened to this guy.
Lori was standing in the door of the RV next to Amy and Andrea, two siblings. Even they didn't look too concerned about whoever this was. "There's some trouble in Atlanta." After a long pause, Shane finally continued again.
By now, what looked like the entire camp was circled around the two in the middle.
It was a pretty big camp, but the ratio of beds to people needing them looked stretched. You just had a cloth laid out in the tent itself with a folded shirt as a pillow. You really couldn't complain though, it was more than you had had after this all started.
All eyes were on Daryl now, waiting for his reaction and how he would take all of this. At first, he kept silent, and it became an even longer pause and wait than the last.
He started pacing a bit, averting his eyes from anyone and looked down at the ground, "He dead?" That was the question that you assumed Shane was even less excited to answer. He let out a long breath, shifting a little when Daryl started to pace his way, "Not sure."
This was the point when Daryl seemed to be running at the end of his patience, raising his voice a bit and glaring at Shane, "He either is or he ain't!"
Now, it was Shane's turn to move his gaze down to the ground, still keeping his hands on his hips as he did.
The attention turned to a man named Rick, who was also a new member of the group, as he stepped forward from the outside ring of people, "No easy way to say this, so I'll just say it." Watching this, you could admit that you were mildly entertained.
Tension hung so thick in the air that you could practically smell it, and everyone seemed too nervous to speak out except for a few people with balls bigger than their brains.
Leaning against the trailer, you crossed your arms and took your weight off of your leg to watch this unfold more comfortably.
When Rick got closer, Daryl didn't back away. He didn't seem like one to do that. Instead, he stepped even closer, getting in his face a bit, "Who are you?"
Again, his question sounded like a challenge for Rick to answer, even if it was something so simple as his name, "Rick Grimes." You had found out Rick's name from Jacqui, who had gotten it from Lori even before Rick showed up himself.
When you were in the tent with her, you could tell that Jacqui was a relatively talkative one.
You gathered that Lori and Rick were married, Carl was their son, and Shane had been hooking up with Lori after this all started. It was thought to be a discreet thing, but it had inevitably gotten out.
Still, Jacqui insisted that all three of them thought that Rick had died from a gunshot wound. She also insisted that you not tell anyone about her telling you this. Says she should keep her mouth shut around new arrivals, but you seemed like a trustworthy person all around.
"Rick Grimes," Daryl repeated, almost in a mocking tone. "Ya got somethin' you wanna tell me?"
Though he seemed to be getting more threatening, Rick stayed calm, stating his case in a moderate tone, "Your brother was a danger to us all." Hearing that made you blink.
You hadn't heard about Merle being Daryl's brother at all, and it surprised you. Now you knew why he was so upset and had such an upset air about him.
"So, I handcuffed him on a roof. Hooked him to a piece of metal." Your eyes widened, straightening up.
The pain in your ankle wasn't noticeable now, and the entertainment you were finding from this drifted away. This was serious.
You looked over at T-Dog who just came back with more firewood, a worried look crossing his face as he catches the last part of the conversation.
"He's still up there," Rick finished, standing calmly with his arms to his sides.
Instead of knocking him across the face, like you thought he would, Daryl just began pacing around again with his eyes looking at the ground and back up to Rick.
"Hold on..." He turned and wiped his arm across his forehead before turning back around, rage burning in his eyes, "Let me process this."
All of the group waited in silence, waiting for Daryl to say whatever he was going to say next. You had absolutely no idea who this Merle guy was, but these two men in the middle seemed to have completely different views on this person.
"You sayin' you handcuffed my brother to a roof!? And you LEFT HIM THERE!?"
The man's voice echoed through the clearing, causing people to look down at the ground or look at the tree line for any roamers drawn out by the sound.
Even now, Rick averted his eyes and looked to the side, "Yeah."
The tension came to a climax as Daryl's jaw visibly clenched, pacing around a bit more.
Without warning, Daryl threw the remaining squirrels off his back at Rick, running at him.
Before any of the carcasses could hit him, Rick ducked, and before Daryl could get to him, Shane knocked him down to his side with a thud.
"HEY!" T-Dog dropped the logs that he was carrying in his arms and ran towards the men locked in a quarrel on the ground.
While he was on the ground, you watched Daryl reach down to his belt buckle and pull out a small blade.
"Watch the knife!" Instinctively, you called out a warning, keeping Rick from plunging into the blade and moving to the side.
The three stood at a standstill, waiting for someone else to make a move next.
You now were completely straightened up, your hand going to your belt loop out of habit. When your hand grabbed nothing, you cursed in your head and relaxed a bit.
Attempting to calm yourself, you stepped back and watched. It wasn't your place to be fighting for some group that you barely knew. Hell, you warned them about a knife. It was good enough at least.
Daryl was the first to move after a while, jumping out at Rick as best he could with being on the ground. Easily, Rick lunged back, missing Daryl's blade as it plunged into the ground in front of him.
Shane was quick to act after that, rushing forwards and hooking an arm around Daryl's neck and was quick to put him in a choke hold. Both of them grunted as Shane tightened his grip and Daryl attempted to knock him in the stomach.
Slowly, despite his efforts to fight back, Daryl started to sink lower and lower to the ground. You watched as Shane and Rick expertly moved together, synchronizing a take-down and removing the knife from Daryl's hands.
It was obvious to you that these two were cops, just like Jacqui had told you.
"Best let me go!" Daryl yelled out as best he could with an arm around his throat as with the little bit of air that he was getting in. "Nah, I think it's better if I don't," Shane replied, his voice straining as well.
Looking at the two men, both of them looked pretty muscular, and you could see how either would put up a fight. "Choke hold's illegal, asshole!" By now, Daryl was barely on his feet and he was outnumbered. "Yeah, well you can file a complaint," Shane replied coolly.
You couldn't help but notice that T-Dog was looking extremely nervous about something, but you kept your main focus on the group in front of you.
Completely out of breath, Daryl started wheezing a bit but was still fighting then as much as he could. You couldn't deny that it was giving you the least bit of satisfaction to see the person who had pointed a lethal weapon to your face get a bit roughed up.
"C'mon man, we can keep this up all day." Rick and Shane had obviously won the upper hand over the redneck, keeping him on the ground.
Most of the families around the three men had looks of fear in their eyes, keeping each other close like the people in the middle were wild animals, and if one of them got too close, they'd end up as one of the roamers themselves.
Yes, some of their feelings were justified, but if this was what the group was made of- a bunch of pussies and a few maniacs running around led by a few cops- then you obviously weren't going to fit into this place anytime soon.
"I'd like to have a calm discussion on this topic," Rick knelt down in front of Daryl who was still wriggling around in Shane's grip. He tilted his head, raising his eyebrows and taking his turn to challenge Daryl, "Think we can manage that?"
Like you suspected, Daryl didn't say a word, still wheezing and pulling on the other's arm that was around his neck still. "Think we can manage that?" Again; no reply from him.
It took a while and a bit more of Daryl's heavy breathing to get Shane to let him go. He threw the redneck to the ground, stepping back as he laid there.
Rick, however, stayed with him and continued on talking to him. "What I did was not on a whim," He explained, again bending down to Daryl who had pushed himself up to sit.
He was panting heavily to catch his breath as Rick still tried to explain and reason with him, "Your brother does not work and play well with others."
Before Daryl could make up a comeback of any sorts, T-Dog spoke up from behind them. "It's not Rick's fault..." Again, the attention shifted.
The large man was shifting nervously, looking around at the entirety of the group. It took him a while to finish his statement after that, catching the glare from Daryl, who was still trying to catch his breath on the ground. You looked up at T, waiting for his response like the rest of the people there.
"I had the key. I dropped it," his response was quick, and you could see why he would be so nervous. You chewed on the inside of your lip, staying silent and still.
"You couldn't pick it up?" Daryl spat, still staying on the ground, knowing that if he got up to attack T-Dog, Rick and Shane would put him right back down.
"Well, I dropped it in a drain..."
Everyone fell into an eerie silence as they watched all of this unfold, stiff and cautious.
Finally, Rick straightened up and backed away from Daryl, who was now shifting around on the ground. You watched him, narrowing your eyes as he got up.
Once he got to his feet, you noticed that Carol backed away a little, pressing against the RV. You noticed this and you felt your anger flare up again.
If this man touched Sophia or Carol, you'd be the first to see his head on a spike.
You didn't trust this man, nor like him. If his brother was how everyone in the group said he was like, you weren't about to openly let him around your family with no suspicion tied to it.
Instead of lunging out at anyone, Daryl looked down and threw some dirt that he had balled in his fist down, "If that's s'posed to make me feel better, it don't." After that, he walked off. Your eyes trailed after him, glaring at his back.
Before he could get too far away, T-Dog stopped him, "Maybe this will. I chained the door to the roof so that the geeks couldn't get at him... With a padlock." At this, Daryl turned and looked at him, dead in the eyes.
By his expression, Daryl still looked skeptical, but Rick was quick to step in, "It's gotta count for something."
Like before, Daryl didn't say a thing. He only glared over his shoulder at Rick. You crossed your arms, tapping your arm with your finger. You couldn't understand why, if the man was like they said he was, why people were wanting to go back for him. Sure, this guy was his brother, but dangerous people get left behind.
This group is insane...
You began to make your way over to where Carol was standing with her husband, looking from her and back to the people in the middle.
The redneck had turned back to the rest of the group, a glare plastered on his face, "To Hell with all of Y'all!"
Shane sighed, looking down at his feet, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Just tell me where he is so I can go find him!"
For once, someone else added to the conversation in the middle. "He'll show you," Lori piped up, sounding irritated about something, "Ain't that right?"
After volunteering Rick for helping Daryl find his brother, she turned and walked into the large RV.
The crickets and bugs chirping around in the woods seemed to grow louder as silence fell like a blanket over them once more. You watched Rick as he nodded, placing his hands on his hips.
"I'm goin' back," he explained, looking up at Daryl again. Without any sort of response, Daryl looked down at the ground and walked off past Rick, leaving him in the center alone. Your eyes followed him, narrowed to slits.
After his dismissal, everyone slowly dispersed, one by one. Not wanting to go back into your tent, you walked over to where Carol was standing next to Ed.
"Interesting character," you said plainly, figuring that Carol knew who you were talking about.
Your aunt averted her eyes from you as Ed scoffed, looking down at you, "He's a crazy son of a bitch, I guarantee you that." After that, you only hummed in response.
Ever since Carol and Ed got married, he had been acting extremely threatening to her and Sophia. You had tried and tried to get the pair to go to someplace to get help, and it had worked for a while, but not for long.
"Hey," You turned around at the voice, raising your eyebrow as Shane stepped up to you. He offered you his hand to shake, "I'm Shane."
When he offered you the greeting, you only looked down at his hand with your arms crossed for a while before taking it and shaking it firmly.
"Now, I'm glad that Carol was able to find you and you two found each other again, but if you want to stay in this group, you need to start pulling weight."
You kept your stone cold expression on your face, never once directing your eye contact away from Shane's.
It was fair that he needed everyone to start working and that he wouldn't keep anyone in the group who was just riding on the others' tailcoats.
"Judging by what Jacqui has told me, you aren't in any shape to do anything too physical, so you'll be put on laundry duty starting tomorrow."
The thought of scrubbing dirt out of clothes wasn't exactly what you would call thrilling, but if it kept you with Sophia and Carol, you would go to the ends of the Earth and back.
You nodded, crossing your arms again. Shane grinned a bit, looking down at the ground and back up, "Welcome to the group."
Chapter 4: I'll Come Running
Chapter Text
Later that same day, you were sent out to help wash some clothes with the rest of the women there. You were all gathered around the edge of a pond with some old washboards, rinsing and scrubbing the clothes as best as you could, talking as you worked.
The rest of the girls were sharing what they wished about and what they had before the shit hit the fan. You, on the other hand, stayed quiet like you had been. The conversations about how they missed their hair dryers and washing machines didn't really spark your interests.
You would rather be talking about how you missed watching The Super Bowl with a cold one in your hand, surrounded by your friends. Even though the good majority of your friends were male, you never had anything more than a friendly relationship with you.
You missed going out and pitching a few, playing a good game of baseball with your friends and not having a care in the world.
You looked up at the lake, your eyes wandering to the people across standing in it. Shane and Carl were practicing something, laughing and smiling as Shane splashed Carl as he swept his arm through the water.
A prick of annoyance struck you, quickly realizing that the work wasn't exactly equally spread across the board. You could agree with what the women around you were saying about that.
"Ugh, I miss my Maytag." You looked over at the others, putting a damp shirt in a basket of others that had already been washed.
Amy nodded, adding, "I miss texting, computers, phones." That, you couldn't agree with.
One good thing that came from all of this was that you finally weren't constantly checking your phone every other second because there was always a chance that you had missed an important call or notification. It felt good to get away.
They all went quiet for a little bit, the faint splashing of water being the only thing that filled the silence.
"I miss my vibrator," Andrea stated, breaking the silence with laughter. You couldn't help yourself from cracking a smile or adding onto it. "Me too."
With that, the whole group burst out into even louder laughter.
"That's the first thing I've heard you say since you got here with us!" Amy exclaimed, bringing a hand up to her face. Everyone continued to laugh at your little joke, and you continued to smile.
Your gaze went back to the shirt that you were washing, the smile remaining on your face. It felt good to laugh again and to be with other people, even if they weren't your standard kind of friends.
The smile on your face slowly melted away as you heard the crunching of gravel behind you, making a guess that that was Ed coming down to them.
"What's so funny?" He asked, making it sound like a more of a demand. You didn't look back to him when he asked that, your expression turning back to a serious one.
"We're just having a bit of fun, Ed. Nothing to worry about," Carol answered, her sweet voice almost pleading with him. You hated it when Carol did that, but you knew it wasn't her fault.
She shouldn't continue to try to reason with him. She should've done something about it. Still, you knew she was just too kind and frail for that.
More so, you hated it when Ed did that to Carol; constantly hovering over her and making sure he knew exactly where she was and what she was doing. He took her freedom away.
"Well, less yapping and more washing," Ed demanded, taking another cigarette out of his shirt pocket and sticking it in the corner of his mouth.
Hearing him talk to the women around you like that who had been working like that since dawn made your temper flare up again. He had no right to say that to any of them, especially his own wife.
Your eyes flickered over to the place across the lake, noticing that Shane and Carl had left their little fishing spot and were probably making their way back to where you were. It was a wonder how Ed stayed in this group with him talking like that to people.
In your head, you decided it was about time to put Ed back in his place. This was the end of the line for him treating the women like this, and now that you were here, you weren't going to put up with any of that shit.
"Ed, tell you what," you began, standing up with a dripping wet shirt in your clenched fist. The other's eyes followed you as you walked over to the taller man, pausing their washing to watch whatever would unfold. "You don't like how your laundry's done you are welcome to do it yourself."
At that, Ed furrowed his brow, looking at you dead in the eyes with a glare. You wouldn't be surprised if this never really happened with any of the women that he yelled at.
Tilting your head cheekily to the side, you smiled at him sarcastically and threw the sopping cloth at him, "Here."
It didn't take him a second to throw the wet cloth back. It hit you square in the chest as you reached up to catch it with one hand. "Ain't my job, missy."
Your glare returned to your face as you dropped the shirt to your side, your fist balled and your jaw clenched. It was obvious that you were preparing to fire back to the other girls, and Amy was quick to jump up.
"[Y/N], don't." She touched your arm gently, but you ignored her entirely. "What is your job, Ed?" Unafraid, you stepped closer, getting in his face a bit. "Sitting on your ass, smoking cigarettes?"
At your challenge, Carol shifted behind you, starting to get up. "Well, I sure as hell ain't listening to some uppity smart-mouthed bitch, tell you what." Your mouth dropped open a bit, letting out a short, cold, and baffled laugh.
As you prepared yourself to knock a blow at Ed, Amy gripped onto your arm and stopped you.
Ed grinned at you smugly, taking this opportunity to gloat in the fact that he thought you weren't going to do anything to him with Amy stopping you.
"C'mon, let's go," he said to your aunt, who was already starting to come over to him.
Her eyes were filled with fear and shame as they looked down at the ground, not meeting anyone's gaze and coming to her husband obediently.
This only fueled the fire of your anger more, breaking out of Amy's grip to place yourself in between him and your aunt.
"I don't think she needs to go anywhere with you, Ed," you locked your gaze with Ed's, showing that you weren't going to let him drag your aunt around like a ragdoll. Scoffing, Ed retorted back, "And I say it's none of your business. C'mon now, you heard me."
By now, the other women had stood up as well, though none of them were being as vocal about this as you.
You got even closer, making Ed step back a bit. "It is my business because I'm her niece and I'm not going to take any of your bullshit!" You hissed at him through gritted teeth, keeping yourself planted between him and Carol. "[Y/N], please..."
The sound of your aunt's frail voice whispering behind you distracted you for a minute, making you turn your head. "It doesn't matter..." She finished, starting to walk past you and towards Ed again.
"Now, C'mon," Ed said, giving her a more threatening look now, "Or you'll regret it later." Your mouth parted opened, not believing what you just heard.
If this asshole thought that he was going to threaten your aunt like that, roamers wouldn't be the only thing threatening his life.
When Ed grabbed Carol's small arm and started to drag her, causing her to stumble a bit, that was it.
Rage blinded your vision, making your adrenaline rush through your veins. "Oh, hell no!"
Putting all of your strength behind you, you shoved Ed back and away from Carol, placing yourself right in between him and her again.
A sharp pain exploded through the side of your face as your gaze was ripped to the side. You stumbled back after Ed took a blow to your cheek, your anger cutting off your pain as you went back for another blow.
There was no way that Ed was going near your cousin and aunt after that, and you would make sure of it.
Swinging your fist around, you knocked Ed square in the jaw, sending him wheeling back. "GET AWAY FROM HER!"
Your yelling echoed around, as did the others' screaming as they shielded Carol away from the conflict. She was crying and yelling out for you and Ed to stop it, but both of you were too caught up to pay any attention.
Just as Ed got back up on his feet to swing another blow at your face, he was dragged away from behind.
With both of you fighting, you hadn't noticed that Shane had already made his way back across the lake and was just making his way back to camp when he came across both of you.
The leader had just as much anger burning in his eyes as you had before, and the fear in Ed's returned.
When Shane had come up, you admitted to yourself that your work was done for the moment. You had done enough, if not more than you really should have.
Now, as you turned around, you realized Carol had started crying softly, held back by Jacqui, who was trying to comfort her. A stab of guilt and pity sunk in as you looked down at your already bruised and torn-up knuckles.
The sound of blows landing reached your ears, and you didn't have to turn around to know that Shane was beating the ever living hell out of Ed.
Your aunt started yelling out for them to stop it and was trying to pry out of the other woman's arms.
Quickly, you made your way over to your aunt, reaching out your arms a bit. She didn't hesitate to fold into them, clutching your back and crying into your shoulder.
Her fail body shook every time she let out a sob, and you held her tightly, trying to calm her down as best you could. Quietly, you shushed her, running your hands through her short, grey hair.
"Just don't look," Andrea said, touching your arm slightly, attempting to get you to turn yourself around and turn Carol away. You obeyed and turned yourself so that your aunt was facing away.
Now that you had turned Carol away, you were looking at the fight over her shoulder. One look at Ed's bloody face made you realize that Ed was well beat up, but Shane didn't look like he was going to stop anytime soon. "Shane, stop!"
Seeing that, you understood why Carol was wailing so much about it. Once you yelled out that demand to Shane, the rest of the girls around you also started to try to get him to stop punching Ed. It took a while, but Shane eventually stopped.
Ed was laying on the ground beneath him, his face and the top of his shirt covered in blood. His attacker balled his hands in Ed's shirt collar, pulling him up even closer to him, getting in his face and saying something. It was too quiet for you or any of the other girls to hear, but you saw Ed nod to the best of his abilities.
After that, Shane dropped him and kicked him square in his ribs before backing away.
Carol practically ripped out of your grip and ran over to Ed, who was still laying on the ground. You closed your eyes, your shoulders dropping as you heard her apologizing over and over again to him as he gurgled blood in his mouth.
No matter what he had done, Carol seemed to constantly run back to Ed. She was just too scared to leave him and go on with Sophia alone. Slowly, the pain started to seep back into your face and something was running down your jaw.
You brought a hand up to your lip, sighing as you pulled it back. As you expected, a thick, red liquid covered the tips of your finger. You could practically feel the bruise settling in around your eye, and your cheek ached.
You were just about to start making your way back to camp when Shane came up to you, sweating and with his bloody fists clenched. "Get back to camp. We have to talk about this. Now."
His tone was sharp and stern, passing you quickly and starting off towards the camp again after that. You returned the hard glare, narrowing your eyes and watching him walk off. No matter what he would say, you stood behind what you did.
Ed had absolutely no right to touch Carol or Sophia, and you would defend them both with your life. You just gave him a firm knock in the face, and he gave you one right back. Fair enough. Shane was the one who beat him to the ground and past.
No matter how much you thought he deserved it, a low, unsettling suspicion grew in your stomach. Watching Shane do that to him made you compelled to trust him less.
Still, you really had no time to think about that. You looked down at the wet rag that you had dropped, picked it up, and placed it against your bloody lip as you started to walk towards the camp.
* * *
"What you did today, though I believed was deserved by the receiver, will never happen again." Shane was standing in front of you with his normal stand of hands on his hips.
Scoffing, you lowered the rag, gesturing back behind you with your arm, "Then make sure that bastard doesn't touch my aunt again!"
The man across from you brought a hand up, rubbing his stubbled jaw and looked down with a sigh, "I intend to do that, but you have to let me handle things like that. If I believe you are any kind of danger to my group, you won't be here for long, relatives or not."
Staying silent, you shifted your weight. As you did, you caught a glimpse of Dale and Jim helping a very unstable Ed back into camp. You also watched an extremely upset Carol trailing behind him.
You turned back to Shane, who also was looking at the four people off to your left. "[Y/N]?" A small voice came from behind you, making you spin around.
Sophia was standing there, looking fearful about something. She only became more upset when she saw your banged up face. Realizing this, you knelt down to her level, smiling even though it hurt your cheeks a bit. "Hey, kid. What's up?"
Even though you knew full well what she was so upset about, you thought it was just better to play everything off like there was nothing wrong. "What happened to Dad? What happened to you?!"
Her scared and shaky voice sent another pang of guilt through you, but you kept your smile and shook your head, "Nothing. We're both going to be fine. We just had a little fight, that's all." Turning to the side, you gave Shane a bit of a glance before continuing on. "But I promise that it won't happen again."
Shane took this as his cue to leave, walking away to go help with whatever needed to be done. As you watched Sophia, you noticed that she still looked skeptical, "He hit you... Didn't he..?" Sighing with a soft smile, you pulled her into your arms tightly. "Like I said, we will both be fine."
The smile on your face was a façade of your heart shattering into pieces. Sophia wasn't stupid, but the fact that she asked that like she already knew what happened hurt you. It hurt to think of what they had to go through and the kind of trap that Ed had put them in.
Pulling away from the embrace, you tilted your head, changing the mood with your fun tone, "Why don't you show me around camp here? Go for a walk with me or something?"
Happy to see a small smile cross her face, you ruffled her blonde hair a little, "I missed you! Spend more time with me, would'ya?"
She laughed, taking your hand in her small one. Standing up, you let her lead the way.
The two of you wove through small cooking stations and places where pots and plates were scattered around. It wasn't an extremely pretty looking camp, but it kept your family alive, and that was all it took to pass for you.
"So, tell me 'bout some of these people around here. What are they like?"
Sophia thought a little bit about the question as you walked alongside a beat-up car, "Well, me and Carl are best friends, and his father just came into the group. Lori's nice. Glenn is really sweet, too. He looks out for my mom and me sometimes when we need it."
You nodded, slowing your walk a little bit, looking down and kicking at the ground as you continued with Sophia.
"Shane's kinda like our leader, but no one really calls him that," Sophia added, gripping your hand tightly as she thought on.
"Morales and his family are super nice and make some pretty good food. Andrea and Amy are really funny."
You nodded, waiting for her to continue on about anything she wanted to talk about. "Merle was a little... Weird. He kinda scared me," Sophia admitted, looking down and picking up a rock that she threw into the tree line and watched disappear.
"But his brother, Daryl, he kinda scared me too. Not as much though. He's just quiet and has a bit of a temper, but I promise he isn't as bad as his older brother."
You chuckled a bit, keeping from rolling your eyes. Her hand was still holding yours, and you turned around when you started to walk again, and she didn't.
The smile on her face seemed to have faded away as she looked up at you. "[Y/N]..?" Her voice lost the happy and innocent tone of it, making you a bit worried about her sudden mood change. "Yeah?"
Sophia paused before looking down, then back up again. "What do I do if their's someone who wants to hurt my mom?" Her question startled you a little, but it didn't stop you from sharing exactly what you wanted her to do.
Kneeling down on one knee, you put a hand on her shoulder, smiling at her. "You run straight to me. I'll always be there for you or aunt Carol. Absolutely no exceptions. You just come straight to me."
Gladness filled you as you watched the smile return to your niece's face, chuckling as she leaned forward and threw her arms around you. "I'm so happy that you're still here... I was afraid I'd never see you again."
Pulling away, you looked her dead in the eyes, "I'll always come to find you. You need anything... If anyone tries to hurt you, or if you feel like you're in danger... I'll come running."
Chapter 5: Sleep Walkers
Chapter Text
The conversation between you and Sophia continued for a bit, as continued your walk. Eventually, you ended up back at the camp, near the RV.
You noticed that Dale wasn't at his normal spot above the RV, keeping an ear for anything that came across the radio. You figured he was just taking a leak or getting a drink of water.
To your surprise, when you passed Lori, she had a few large clusters of fish that she was cleaning. Carl was sitting next to her, helping out in disgust. Little silver flakes glittered around the ground and in a pale as the pair scrapped the fish off, putting them into a bucket of water once they were done.
Lori looked up at you, smiling at you a bit before going back to work. Carl kept his eyes on the fish, his bangs falling over his forehead as he did.
They seemed like okay people, but you had hardly known anyone here that you didn't already know beforehand.
The faint sound of dirt and gravel being dug into and thrown reached your ears, making you look up to where it was coming from.
Putting a hand on your forehead to shield your eyes from the sun, you saw a faint figure on top of the hill. Your eyes narrowed and focused on the person, taking you a while to recognize who it was.
Jim looked like he was digging frantically as if he was put on a timer. By now, Sophia was looking at him too, "[Y/N]? What's he doing?" You didn't answer her question and only continued to look.
Even if you didn't know these people well at all, you could tell that this wasn't normal behavior for anyone. You hadn't heard anything about Jim digging for the fun of it.
"He's been up there for hours." Dale's voice behind you made you spin around, surprised by his sudden appearance. He was looking through binoculars, studying Jim up on the hill as he added, "He's digging graves, it looks like."
You followed his gaze, your brow furrowed and with your hand back up to your forehead. When Sophia gripped your hand a bit tighter, you turned back to her, leaning down a bit.
"Why don't you go get Shane over here? Would you do that?"
She hesitated a little before nodding and turning around, running down to the RV. After you saw her leave, you stood back up, putting your hands on your hips and letting out a long sigh.
Red flags were popping up about this group. More so, the people in it.
The thought of putting your family's lives in the hands of your aunt's abusive husband, a couple of used-to-be cops, and a few psychopaths that dug graves and fought other people on their own team didn't have much appeal to you. Then again, what choice did you have?
It didn't take more than a few minutes to see Shane and Sophia come up to you, both of them looking concerned on their own levels.
Sophia came to stand next to you, and you put an arm around her, bringing her closer. "What's going on?" Shane's question was quickly answered by Dale, who had dropped the binoculars from his eyes to turn to him.
He told Shane the exact same thing that he had told you while you were busy noticing that more and more people were coming to look at the strange sight of their mechanic up on the hill.
"Any of you got any idea why?" Shane was now also looking in the same direction, hands on his hips as he let out a sigh. Dale shrugged, shaking his head. "Alright," the leader said. "[Y/N], your bag is in the RV."
Him addressing you came as a surprise, and you turned to him when he did. "Your sword is in there as well. I want you to go and get it, then go up with me. In case Jim-Bo does anything dangerous."
The fact that Shane thought that you could be trusted fully with your weapon was even more surprising to you, but you didn't argue. At least now you knew where they had put your things and you could go get them.
Without saying anything else, you patted Sophia's back, told her to go to her aunt, and turned to jog to the RV. The camp itself wasn't too terribly large, so it didn't take you long to get to the large vehicle and hop inside it.
The interior was a bit worn down, and it definitely was an older model, but if it would start up, you didn't see a reason why they wouldn't use it.
You pushed between a pile of clothes in a laundry basket on the floor, making your way to the back of the RV.
There was a shelf, and it was your best guess for where your bag would be. Luckily, there wasn't a lock on the doors that opened up to the inside, and you were even more lucky to find your bag.
Eagerly, you took it down and placed it on the table, looking back into the cupboard only for your sword that had been taken. Just as you expected, there it lay. Pressed back against the wall, hidden behind your bag was your sword.
You took that out just as quickly as you did your bag. Instead of putting it on the desk, you slid it right back into the holster on your belt. You looked down, smiling a little bit at the sight of your old weapon, just glad to have it in your possession again.
None of it seemed to be damaged, which you were happy to see. Even if you had only been split from this for only a day or two, you owe your life to this blade.
Since you hadn't been around real people for a long time since this started, you grew attached to things that would save your life and wouldn't leave your side. And your sword just happened to fit all of those priorities.
After you were done checking your sword over, you looked back down to your bag.
Unzipping it, you shuffled around through it a bit. Most of the things were still in there, but you noticed that the can of peaches was missing. That, you could understand. They had to feed the group, and it was most likely going to someone who needed now more than you.
There was one thing you didn't see though.
No matter how much you looked, you couldn't find the flask that you had packed. It was the last of what you had in your house, and it was something that would help you get to sleep at night.
You growled under your breath a bit, making a pretty good guess on who might have taken the small thing of alcohol. "That bastard..." Without another moment of hesitation, you slung the bag over your shoulder again and headed out of the RV.
The small cluster of people that were staring at Jim was still there. You stepped back into the small huddle, looking at Jim as well.
It didn't take long for Shane to recognize your return, and he was quick to speak after. "C'mon, let's go settle this," Shane demanded as he started to walk towards the hill.
All of the others soon followed him, but you hesitated a little. You didn't know why, but the way he said that made you a bit uneasy.
It sounded to you like he was going to do something to Jim when he said 'settle this'.
Even though it was just a little thing like that, Shane was already starting to set off red flags. His violent ways towards his own group members were unsettling to you.
Yes, you were very violent at times, but that was only in life or death situations, or you were protecting someone or something that you loved. Not to your own companions.
Quietly letting out a sigh, you followed the group, staying in the back.
Instinctively, your hand found the handle of your sword that hung in your belt, but you really didn't plan on using it. Your hand ran over the course leather grip on the handle, rubbing it a bit with your thumb mindlessly.
Morales and Dale were at the head of the group, and Andrea and Amy were right in front of you, with Lori, Carl, Sophia, and Carol behind you. You made sure to stay behind most of them, not wanting to make Jim think that you were some kind of threat with your weapon.
Jim seemed like a good person, but if he was somehow a danger to your family, then you wouldn't hesitate to stop it. You just didn't think it always needed to be this violent.
Just like the others, you were worried about his health. It was well over one hundred degrees outside, and Dale said that he had been out here for hours.
It didn't take long for Jim to look up at the huddle of people moving up the hill towards him. He was standing beside another one of the holes that he was digging, straightening up and leaning on the shovel that he had when Shane came up to him.
His chest was rising and falling notably, and his shirt was soaked with sweat. He took off his dirty hat, wiping his forehead with the back of his arm, averting his eyes from any of the others.
There was a silence before Jim started to dig again, acting like none of the people that were watching him were there. "Jim," Shane started, putting his hands on his hips again.
When he didn't respond, Shane looked back at you. You looked right back, raising an eyebrow.
He beckoned you up before turning around and looking back at the man who was still digging. Without saying anything, you sighed and started to walk up towards the front of the group.
When Jim saw that you were coming up to the front with your weapon in your pocket, it caught his attention again. He stopped digging, looking up at Shane, "What?"
You stopped a bit behind Shane, one hand resting on the handle of your sword. When another silence fell over the group, Morales was the first to speak, "Dale says you've been out here for hours."
Jim scoffed before going back to digging, "So?" A chuckle from Shane answered his question, "Wha- You going to China or something?"
Jim stopped digging for a while, looking up at Shane and snapping back, "Well I ain't hurtin' nobody." After his snarky remark, you could tell that Shane notably tensed. He shifted his weight, looking down at the ground.
"Well, yeah, maybe yourself," Dale piped up, shaking his head, "It's a hundred degrees out." Jim ignored him, continuing to dig.
"Jim, stop," Shane demanded, walking forward a bit. You followed him with your eyes narrowed, waiting to see his next move. Again, Jim looked up and gave him a snarky remark, "Whaddaya gonna do? Arrest me?"
You knew that that was the final straw for Shane as you watched him jump forward. He grabbed Jim, folding his arms behind his back. "LET ME GO!" You started to step forward as Jim started to cry out, now with your hand gripping your sword handle even tighter.
You watched as Shane reached down to his belt, unhooking some cuffs that he had from his earlier days as a police officer. Jim squirmed in his grasp, but Shane already had clicked the cuffs around Jim's wrists.
"Jim! Calm down!" Shane's demand was met with more yelling from the man he had just put the cuffs on. "I wasn't hurting nobody!"
Like before, he was ignored. He began to force Jim forwards, forcefully keeping him upright and in front of him. The group split down the middle, allowing Shane and Jim to go through. Jim was still yelling and fighting, and you stared after them for a while.
By now, you had come to the conclusion that Shane wasn't one for talking things out. He was more of 'If they don't do what I want, I'll force them somehow'. That concerned you.
Jim's yelling got quieter and quieter as he got farther and farther away down the hill. You took a deep breath, letting your shoulders relax, not realizing how tense they were.
After a while of looking around at everyone who was just standing there, you started to stalk after the pair. The only explanation that you had for how Jim was acting was some kind of heat stroke, and you thought that there was some way that you could help with that.
Your mother had been a nurse, and when you were younger, you had gone to the hospital with her on occasion and had learned a load of information about medicine and how to treat open wounds quickly.
You were certified for using an AED and CRP and all of that, but you thought that you wouldn't have needed to use any of that. Now, it was more useful than ever. You figured that you could help Jim with his suffering if he did have heat stroke.
You jogged down the hill, following where Shane was taking Jim. It was easy to find out where they were thanks to the mechanic's yelling.
Shane had taken him over to a tree, sitting him down under it. He was saying something that you couldn't quite pick up before he stood up, starting to turn around.
When he saw you, he stopped, "What is it?" You stopped in front of him, gesturing to Jim, who was still pulling at the cuffs behind his back.
"I think he's suffering from heat stroke." Your statement earned a chuckle from the police officer who was panting a bit after struggling with Jim, "What? You a doctor or something?"
Your expression didn't match his humorous one. Instead, yours hardened a bit, "Yes. I can help him. My mother was a nurse, and I know my way around these kinds of things."
Shane paused a little before nodding, rubbing his jawline with his hand,"Right, go help him." After that, Shane started to walk off again, and you went over to Jim.
"Get these damn things off me!" You paid no attention to his yelling as you came up to him, setting your bag down before sitting down yourself.
"Relax, Jim," you said, and edge to your tone of voice. "You're suffering from heat stroke. You've been out there way too long doing God knows what, but whatever it was, you got dehydrated doing it."
Once you got settled down next to him, you took your canteen out of your bag, along with a spare T-shirt. Jim was giving you a bit of a sideways glare, breathing heavily through his nostrils as he watched you soak your shirt.
Once you were done making sure that your shirt felt heavy with water, you folded it up and raised it up to Jim's head. He recoiled a bit but soon stopped fighting at the clothes cool feel.
You stayed there, dabbing his head gently. "Feels nice..." Jim chuckled a bit after a while, finally starting to calm down a little.
Gravel crunching behind you made you turn your head, turning back to Jim after you recognized that it was only Lori, Carl, Sophia, and Carol.
You smiled at Sophia a bit before giving your full attention back to Jim. Jim seemed to smile at them as well before closing his eyes and resting his head back against the tree.
The group behind you settled down around a small table on some even smaller lawn chairs, opening math textbooks and some notebooks. It was glad to see that even though the world had gone to shit, the people here were still making sure that these kids had an education.
"I'm sorry for scaring your kids," Jim said, looking over at Lori through half closed eyes. Lori looked over at Jim for a bit, nodding after a while and turning back to the textbooks, "You're okay. No one blames you."
The uncomfortable silence it the air was evident to you, and you just continued to press the wet cloth to Jim's head.
"Y'all be careful now. Do ya hear me, kids?" You paused a little, looking at the small group again.
Now, all of them were looking at Jim, waiting for him to say what he needed to Carl and Sophia in curiosity.
"Don't you never let your guard down. It'll get you then." Jim's warning came off as random to you, but the look on Carl's and Sophia's face showed that they were scared of it.
Lori looked confused, but she only told the two kids to go back to focusing on their math. They obeyed, and you took this chance to try to distract Jim. "Is there anything I can get you?"
Jim looked over at you, blinking as if he had just woken up from something, then down to your canteen.
"A drink of water would be nice," he stated, and you nodded before pouring a bit of water into a tin cup that you had taken off a table nearby. After you poured the water, you raised it up to his lips to allow him to drink.
He finished off the drink quickly and thanked you once it was empty. He looked over your shoulder, and you noticed that his expression hardened. Even before you could turn around to see who had come up behind you, a familiar voice reached your ears.
"How's he holding up?" The expression on Jim's face was understandable now, and you figured that the mechanic was probably back to normal with the exception of being pissed off.
You shifted your weight, pushing yourself up to stand again, turning around to the leader of the camp.
"Like I said; just heat stroke. He'll be fine." Shane nodded, looking down at the ground. "Well, I need you to check up on someone else." You leaned down, picking up your bag and swinging it over your shoulder as Shane spoke.
Once you straightened up again, you looked back at him, raising an eyebrow. He shifted his weight on his feet again, hands on his hips.
"I need you to go and check if Ed had an infection or not." Your facial expression didn't change, but you felt another prick of anger in your head.
Let the bastard get infected. It'll do us all a favor.
Of course, you didn't say that. Instead, you just stayed silent. Shane shifted uncomfortably again before continuing his request. "Look, I'm well aware that he isn't no saint in this group, and that he really doesn't deserve help... But think of Carol."
Even though your face didn't change, your heart softened a bit at the thought of her and Sophia. You still held firmly to the belief that they would be better without him, but you knew how hard losing him would be for them.
"All I'm askin' is-" Shane was cut off by you storming past him, silently. He watched you walked back to the camp a while before starting to follow back to the camp as well.
You had your eyes narrowed to slits as you started to make your way to the tent that Ed was in.
Without any warning, you threw open the tent flap and barged in, throwing your back down. Ed lay on his side, facing away from you before you came in. He jumped a bit, looking over his shoulder before sitting up. You glared over at him, only looking away to go through your bag.
Ed, on the other hand, looked scared out of his mind. You had just walked in with your weapon strapped to your waist, and for all he knew, no one else was around to hear him yell out for help if he needed it.
"What do ya think you're doin'?" His voice was shaking a bit, which brought a slight sense of satisfaction to you. "Relax. I'm not going to do anything," you demanded, pulling out a few bandages. When you finally looked back at Ed, you finally realized how messed up his face had gotten.
His skin was an ugly yellow in some parts, and in others, it was black and blue. There was a cut on his eyebrow that looked like it had been bleeding quite a bit, and his nose was bent in some way that you couldn't even imagine being possible. Shane had done a number on him, and he definitely wouldn't be going back to looking normal after he fully healed from this.
You leaned forward, raising up the bandage. When Ed recoiled away, you rolled your eyes, scoffing. "Would you just hold the fuck still?" Not only was Ed a horrible husband and person all around, he was one of the biggest cowards you had ever seen.
Once, before all this had happened, Carol called you saying that Ed was drunk and was hitting her. She had been scared for Sophia and was wondering if you could come over and take Sophia to your house.
Before she had hung up, Ed had picked up another phone. He demanded to know who Carol was talking with, and said that she was just being a lying bitch. You heard crying on the other end and recognized it as Sophia's right away.
The rage that filled you at that moment couldn't be overstated, and before you hung up, you had told Ed that if he touched either of them, he wouldn't be waking up tomorrow.
You said that he had better had Sophia and Carol waiting for you outside with their things and that if you found one bruise on Sophia, you'd kill him. Truth was, you were prepared to kill him either way.
A click on the other side signaled that Ed had hung up, and you were over there in less than five minutes. Just like you had demanded, Sophia and Carol were waiting outside.
When you got out of the car and asked where Ed was, Carol tearfully told you that he had gone over to a friend's, but she didn't know who. The fact that he ran away aggravated you.
If he was going to do things like this, he should face the consequences that came with hurting someone you loved.
You just took them both over to your house and let them spend the next few days before Carol went back.
You had insisted on keeping Sophia over at your place for a while longer before letting her back over to her old house. Carol also thought that letting Sophia stay with you was the best idea, but eventually, Sophia went back over to her house as well.
Once Ed stopped recoiling away from you, you quickly wrapped his head, covering the cut on his eyebrow.
There weren't any other cuts or scratches on his face that looked very serious, and there wasn't much that you could do for the bruises. You looked at his face again before straightening up, silently going over to your pack.
All the while, Ed watched you, fear evident in his eyes. You picked up your bag, slinging it over your shoulder, leaving Ed in the tent with one final glare as you left.
Half of you wanted to go back in there and rough him up a bit more, but you knew better than that. You wouldn't risk being separated from your family again.
Even if it meant refraining from handling things the way that you wanted, you would stay in line if it meant you got to stay with your aunt and cousin. Plus, there was a better way to take out your aggression. There was always firewood that needed to be chopped.
* * *
That night, most of the camp was gathered around the fire, laughing and sharing a joke or two.
To your surprise, you actually started to enjoy yourself and began to start to become more comfortable with this group.
The people around the fire found you hilariously charming, and you managed to take their minds off the people who had gone out earlier to look for Merle and the bag of guns that they had lost.
Lori was even smiling, managing to take her worried mind off of her husband. Carl and Sophia were laughing as well, as was most of the camp.
Jim had convinced Shane that he was fine, and he was sitting around the fire as well. Morales' family was sitting together, smiling in the warm firelight.
Everyone was dining on their share of fish that Andrea and Amy had caught earlier that day, and everyone seemed to be happy. Even Carol seemed to be enjoying herself, sitting next to you with Sophia laying calmly in her lap as Dale was telling one of his stories.
For once, everyone's mind had been taken off the fact that there were roamers around, and everything seemed normal.
"I've gotta pee," Amy said, getting up from her spot on the ground, stepping over peoples hands and legs as she walked out of the circle of people around the fire.
You watch her start to walk towards the RV before turning back to the fire. Dale continued on with the story he was telling, laughing throughout it as he shared why he would wind his watch every day at the same time.
You reclined back in your chair, smiling and chewing on your thumbnail mindlessly as you listened. Leaning your head back, you looked up at the stars above you.
It was unbelievable how relaxing all of this was. You were with your family, safe in a group, eating a full meal, and having a good time with all of this still going on. It almost felt... too good to be true.
When you looked back at the people in front of you, scanning over them, your eyes stopped on Jim, studying his expression. Your brow furrowed as you leaned over to him, lowering your voice a bit, "Jim? You okay?"
He looked over at you, opening his mouth to say something, but before he could, he was cut off by a loud, high-pitched wail of pain and terror.
The entirety of the people around the fire fell silent as they looked back at the RV. To everyone's shock and surprise, Amy was shrieking out in horror as a roamer was biting down on the young woman's neck.
Everyone just stared at the attack in shock for a moment, unable to believe how this had gone from a calm, peaceful night for sharing stories and jokes to a brutal attack. It was almost as if everyone really had forgotten that there were things constantly hunting them down, and the world had ended.
Your breath caught painfully in your chest, watching as everything seemed to move in slow motion for a moment. That didn't last long as you heard your cousin scream out in horror next to you.
Quickly, you snapped back to reality, looking around for your sword or handgun that you had. Shane had already jumped out of his seat and had his gun raised up, yelling for people to get behind them and for others to start fighting.
You scrambled up, your hand on your sword that was hooked in your holster. As you took it out, you recoiled away from Shane, who had just shot down the roamer that was attacking Amy.
Your ear began to start ringing, making your head hurt, but your main focus was on killing the roamers that had made their way to the camp.
With your sword in hand, you looked over to your right, seeing a few figures move along the tree line. "There's more!" You yelled out a warning as you saw more and more emerge from the trees.
"GET TO THE RV!" Shane yelled but was drowned out by another shrill scream.
One of the other teens fell to the ground just left of you. A few roamers had latched onto her, taking chunks of flesh out of her neck and shoulders as blood flowed down her body.
Without another thought, you swung your blade around, splitting through one of the creature's heads, causing it to fall lifeless to the ground.
The other lunged at you clumsily, but you were quick to stop the attack. Raising your sword, you split through the skull, pulling your blade back as it went limp.
By now, screams filled the clearing, as did the sound of gunshots. Shane was trying to get the women and children to the RV, keeping them behind him.
Jim and Morales were bashing in roamers' heads with a shovel and a baseball bat, and Dale was shooting as many of the roamers as he could.
Somehow, while in the panic, Sophia was split away from Carol and the people trying to make their way to the RV. You realized this because of Carol's frantic screaming for her daughter.
Your heart stopped in your chest as you heard a returning scream from somewhere across the clearing. Your eyes quickly shot over to where you heard it, and to your horror, you saw Sophia cornered by two roamers.
Sophia was on the ground, pushing herself back as frantically as she could in an attempt to get away from the things in front of her. They snarled and continued to stumble towards her, reaching out greedily for the food that they desired.
Your head pounded with anger and worry as you started to sprint across the clearing as fast as your legs could possibly carry you, knocking over whatever you needed to to get to her.
You stumbled a little on a tree root but soon regained your balance as you came up to the blood-thirsty creatures.
Using all of your force, you knocked into one, pushing it away from Sophia and driving your blade into its head once you had it on the ground.
Still, Sophia screamed. You looked over your shoulder at the other creature that was still going after your baby cousin.
When you tried to stand up, your sword didn't come up as easily. You had driven it too far through the roamer's head and into the ground.
You didn't have time to pry it out of the ground before the roamer would have gotten Sohpia. Instead, you abandoned your blade and got up, turning around to the roamer going after your cousin. Again, you pushed it over, knocking it to the ground.
As you were about to use the heel of your shoe to kick in the skull, you were caught by surprise as it had grabbed onto your other leg, pulling it towards its mouth hungrily.
You fell back, landing hard on your tailbone. The air was knocked out of you for a moment, but you were quick to gain it back.
The roamer in front of you crawled towards you, letting go of your leg. Sophia started to cry loudly in fear, but you instinctively placed yourself in between her and the danger in front of you both.
You placed your feet on the roamer's shoulders, using all of your strength to push it back and away from you and your cousin.
Without any weapons, there was no way to defend yourselves, and your legs were starting to give out a bit. You clenched your teeth, yelling through them to Sophia. "GO!" The snarling thing still reached out for you, getting closer and closer to your upper body.
Behind you, you heard Sophia whimpering softly, but she didn't move. Again, you raised your voice at her, yelling fully now. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!"
Never in your life have you yelled so loud at your cousin, but it was enough to get Sophia to listen to you.
A burning sensation rippled through your thighs as your muscles strained to keep the predator away from you.
Even with all of your leg strength, the roamer was inching forwards, closer and closer to you. You yelled out, using all of your muscles to strain against it.
The thought of dying this way crossed your mind many times, but now that you were experiencing it, it all seemed surreal. Again, everything seemed to move in slow motion, and a ringing in your ears muffled out the snarling.
The worn and blackened mouth clicked in front of you, slowly coming closer and closer to your face.
Just give up... You're too far gone... No one's there to hear you... Sophia's safe, at least... Just give-
A sudden weight was lifted off you as your legs kicked out, throwing the corpse off of you with a surge of strength. You looked in front of you, wide-eyed and almost unbelieving.
The back of the roamer's head had been cracked open, but another figure still stood tall over you.
Your eyes went up to whatever was standing now, trying to recognize the face in the dark. "C'MON!"
The familiar voice reached your ears, and you were quick to take the hand that was offered to you.
A strong arm pulled you up to your feet, letting go of your hand when you had regained your balance.
Scattered gunshots around the camp signaled that the group that had gone out to find the bag of guns was back, as were the guns.
You were lucky that Daryl had found you when he did. One second later, and you would have been a roamer's dinner.
"Were you bit?!" The redneck fired the question over his shoulder, aiming his gun at another roamer that was charging at the both of you. While he was busy covering you, you went and pulled your sword out of the ground.
"No!" You answered, yelling over the gunshots. A roamer that lunged out of the bushes at you was met with a blade to the head, slipping off it and leaving a black gloss along your sword.
"C'mon!" Daryl yelled back at you before starting to run towards the camp. You followed close behind him, praying that Sophia would be back at the camp with Carol, safe and sound.
One last gunshot was heard as you and Daryl rounded the corner, side by side. You saw everyone gathered around each other near the RV, and you were even more happy to see Sophia and Carol together there.
Your chest rose and fell heavily as you smiled at them, going around Daryl who had stopped in front of you to go run to your aunt and cousin.
They saw you at the same time you started to run to them, running to meet you in the middle. When the three of you came together, you threw your arms around them, smiling as Carol tearfully cried on your shoulder.
Sophia was sandwiched in the middle, crying softly as she gripped your shirt. You broke away from Carol, kneeling down to Sophia's level, cupping her face in your hand, brushing hair out of her eyes with the other.
"Are you okay?" You stared at her, glad to see her nod in response to your question. You chuckled weakly in relief, kissing her forehead softly. Looking back up at Carol who was gazing at the both of you, you straighten up again.
Unfortunately, your sweet reunion was short-lived. Loud sobbing came from behind Carol and grabbed your attention. The whole of the remaining people was looking towards the RV.
Andrea was kneeling over Amy, crying out her name as she shook her shoulders. When you saw that Amy was giving absolutely no response, something in your chest began to ache.
You kept Sophia and Carol close still, all of you still watching Andrea trying to wake her deceased sister up. Even if you hadn't known them very long, the thought of losing someone you loved that much hurt to even think about.
"I remember my dream now..." Jim said, speaking over the sobbing. "Why I dug the holes..."
The mechanic's words seemed to fade off as you looked around the clearing. Now that your adrenaline had died down, you had a chance to finally realize how many of the group you had lost.
The image of that teenager dropping right beside you played out before you, making you shiver a bit. You tightened your grasp around Sophia and Carol, letting out a long breath of air, trying to calm yourself down.
The sound of Andrea screaming Amy's name continued and pounded in your head when you closed your eyes. If you hadn't known how much danger everyone was in in this new world, this hellish experience was more than enough to jog your memory.
Chapter 6: Taking it Out
Chapter Text
The attack seemed surreal to everyone, leaving them in shock after what just happened. It had come out of absolutely nowhere, and it wasn't even registering with the group yet.
Faint crying and heavy breathing was the only thing anyone heard throughout the clearing that was now littered with dead bodies.
Time seemed to stand still as everyone started to take in what was around them silently. Images of people falling to the ground or getting parts of their body ripped apart from them flashed before peoples' eyes as they started wide-eyed into nothing.
A gaping hole had opened up in your stomach as you looked around you, seeing people you recognized laying in pools of their own blood.
Your breath escaped your lungs in shaky bursts, and your legs were shaking as well, no matter how hard you tried to control them.
Even if you had grown numb to killing roamers, watching a mass slaughter unfold out in front of your eyes wasn't something that was mainstream to you yet.
A low, ringing sound echoed in your head as your pupils began to dilate. Your legs had grown extremely tired from keeping that roamer off of you, and you began to slowly feel yourself slipping into unconsciousness.
Everything started to blur together for a moment before your attention was snapped back by loud sobbing.
Everyone's gaze turned to Andrea, who was leaning over a body and folding it close to her.
"Amy!" Andrea and pulled Amy's head into her lap, rocking back and forth slowly as she tearfully repeated her sister's name again and again, still trying to get any sort of response from her. "I don't know what to do..."
You heard her whisper through her sobs that racked her body, continuing to repeat that same phrase for a while in her state of misery and shock.
You felt Sophia bury her face in your shirt, crying out louder now after seeing one of her group mate's reaction to all of this. You held the back of her head, running your fingers through her fine hair.
Your gaze traveled around to the other people, taking in the faces that you saw.
Jim was standing out in the middle of the clearing, looking off into the night mindlessly, like he had been put into some sort of trance by something. Dale was watching Andrea and Amy in pure horror, stiff in his tracks and tears in his eyes.
You could tell, even before this, that Dale and the two sisters had some sort of bond together.
Jacqui was standing at the door of the RV, one hand over her mouth as she gazed upon the sisters alongside the vehicle.
Your eyes went to Rick and his family, which looked vaguely similar to how you were with your family. He had his arms around both of the members, shielding Carl's eyes away from Amy and Andrea as he continued to embrace Lori.
Morales also had his family in his arms tightly, speaking something comforting in Spanish as he brought his children close.
Glenn and T-Dog were looking at the other people around the group, unable to say anything about what had just happened.
The footsteps behind you made you jump before you saw Daryl walk out from behind you, a shotgun hanging at his side in his hand.
The butt of the gun was stained a bit from the roamer that he had killed, but other than that, he looked unphased except for a cut on his eyebrow that was sending a small trickle of blood down his face.
You let out a long breath, holding onto Sophia and Carol tightly as they held you back. Shane was the first to speak after a while, walking in the middle of the group. "Anyone bit?"
His voice raised over the crying from Andrea, who had quieted down a bit but not by much. Slowly, one by one, people started to shake their heads in response to Shane's question.
He nodded after a while, clearing his throat to regain his full voice. "Right. [Y/N], I want you to go and check up on anyone who's gotten hurt. There are some supplies in the RV in the back. Could you do that?"
Your original plan was to go around, making sure that there weren't any roamers left what so ever. Still, you were the closest thing that they had for a doctor at this time.
After looking down at the ground for a little while, you looked back up and nodded. Shane nodded, before looking at all of the others, ordering some people to go in and see you so you could tend to their wounds.
You reluctantly loosened your grip on Sophia and Carol, nodding at them before starting to make your way to the RV, using the last bit of the strength in your legs to get there and up the stairs.
Of course, you didn't show how weak your legs were to the survivors out in the clearing, but when you got to the back of the RV, you gladly rested on the bed there. A huge straining in your legs was lifted, and you let out a puff of air.
The pain in your ankle started to seep through your leg again, but you were too distracted to pay any attention to it. Your eyes were locked on your feet, wide and glazed over as you started to zone out. Your elbows were resting on your legs as your head hung down.
All you needed was a little time to regain yourself, and you'd be able to get back into the real world again and be able to focus on whatever task was at hand.
The thought had never been clearer to you that it would've been so easy to lose your family in the blink of an eye. How easy it would be to just slip away from them without any control over it. Hell, you almost did slip away from them tonight.
You would've been dead... If it weren't for Dar-
"[Y/N]?" Your gaze snapped up to the doorway when you heard someone talking to you. Glenn, one of the men who had gone out to look for Merle and the guns, was standing in the doorway, his brows furrowed. "You okay?"
Straightening up, you nodded after a moment of hesitation, just thinking about what had happened, "Yeah, I'm... What do you need?"
You stood up off the bed, looking around for where the medical kit might be. Glenn stepped into the room, going over to sit on the cot, "I just got a little roughed up while we were out." You didn't respond right away, still looking for the first aid kit.
It didn't take you long to see it resting on a shelf, taking it down and turning to Glenn. "What is it? Cut? Bruise?"
Glenn pulled down his shirt a little bit, revealing his shoulder. He was right about him being roughed up.
There was a large road burn on the back of his shoulder, which made you wince a bit. "Yikes." You whispered under your breath, quickly getting out some rubbing alcohol from the small box.
Your reaction made Glenn scoff weakly, "Guess it looks as bad as it feels."
He shifted on the bed, keeping from putting too much weight on his wounded shoulder. "Yeah," you replied, taking out some bandages as well, "I'm going to have to have you take your shirt off. It's pretty nasty."
After retrieving the last of what you needed, you set the first aid kit beside you on a chair. Glenn nodded, carefully taking his shirt off whilst trying to refrain from any contact with the cut. You moved behind him, wetting a cloth with some rubbing alcohol and quickly putting it on Glenn's scrape.
When you did apply the liquid, he notably winced. "Forgot to tell you it would hurt," you said blankly, making him sigh a little again.
"It's not too bad." As you continued to clean the wound, you began to grow more and more curious about how he might have gotten it. "So, how'd you end up with this?"
His only reply was a shrug, which also made him wince a bit. "Just... was being a bit clumsy." Your brow furrowed at his tone of voice, and judging by it, he wasn't telling the truth. "Uh huh..."
After you finished cleaning the wound, you got up again and went around to get the bandages on the chair. "Whoa."
You turned around, seeing Glenn focusing on your face with his brows furrowed. You raised an eyebrow, confused on his reaction and facial expression. He raised a hand up, pointing to his eye. It clicked in your mind that he was referring to the bruise.
"Oh." After you replied, you went back around behind him to put the bandage on, "I'm fine. It's no big deal."
You sighed to yourself, thinking about how you played the little trick of keeping your black eye from him like he kept his scrape from you. You'd get something out of him that way.
He rolled his eyes, looking over his shoulder, "Fine. I got this from getting held captive. Your turn." His explanation caught you off guard, making you raise your eyebrows, "You what? How'd you do that?"
Curiosity egged at you that soon turned into frustration when Glenn shook his head. "You need to tell me how you got yours first."
You rolled your eyes, finishing up applying the bandages, "Ed knocked me pretty hard today." Glenn raised his eyebrows as well, knowing that you weren't going to share anything else until he answered his question.
He sighed, putting his shirt back on, "Daryl and I ran into some thugs and they got a hold of me and the bag of guns. They took me to their base, which was just a nursing home full of old people. They were good people, and they had a good reason for the guns, so we gave them half."
As he finished his story, you nodded with a hum and leaned against the doorway. You scoffed coldly, running a hand through your hair as you replied, "Well, mine was a bit less exciting." You closed your eyes as Glenn got up, looking at you as he waited for an explanation himself.
Letting out a sigh, you looked back at him, crossing your arms. "We were down by the lake, washing some clothes and Ed came over to us. He was wondering what we were talking about and said some things to Carol that he really shouldn't have."
You shrugged, looking in front of you. "I defended her. Got up in his face a bit, but..." You shook your head, "When he tried to grab Carol... That was when he took it too far."
Letting out a breath as you tried to calm yourself down from getting too mad, you continued. "I pushed him back, he swung at me, and I swung back. That's all that happened before Shane stepped in."
When you looked back at Glenn, he looked sympathetic. You cocked a helpless smile, turning and jumping when you heard someone else from the front of the RV. "Well, I don't think you're gonna have to worry about Ed anymore."
T-Dog was standing near the front along with Daryl, both of them looking back at you. "We found him with a few walkers in his tent," T-Dog explained, to which you looked down at the ground in front of you.
Immediately, your mind went to Carol and Sophia, and it appeared pretty obvious. "Jacqui's with Carol and Sophia." At their mention, you looked back up at T-Dog, who nodded a bit. "They're fine..."
A small bit of relief filled you as you nodded. The man before you turned, looking over at the redneck behind him, "Daryl's got a pretty nasty cut from... Falling on our look for the guns and Merle."
You couldn't keep a small hum from T-Dog trying to explain what happened, bluffing as he did. "Uh huh," you simply said before cocking your head behind you, "Let's have a look at it."
When you turned around, Glenn shuffled around you and down the hallway, leaving the back room, looking down at the ground. You pulled out some bandages out of the first aid kit, listening to the sound of footsteps approaching from the other room.
You sighed a little bit as you heard T-Dog from the other room, talking to Glenn, "Seriously, dude? Can't you keep anything to yourself?"
You heard the floorboards creaking behind you, turning around to the tall man behind you. He sat down on the bed lazily, glaring off into nothing.
Judging by his attitude and that fact that no one brought it up, they hadn't found Merle.
When you had what you needed, you turned around, back to Daryl. He looked as if someone were to touch him, he'd knock their hand off. You didn't make eye contact with him, wanting to get him done and out of here as quick as you could. You didn't need to waste your time with this man's temper.
You did the same thing as you did with Glenn; wetting a towel with rubbing alcohol and being quick to press it to his face.
Unlike Glenn, Daryl didn't flinch. He didn't even move as you cleaned the blood away from his face. Luckily, when you examined it, the cut didn't look like anything that needed to be stitched up.
When the bleeding stopped, you removed the cloth from Daryl's forehead and replaced it with a small Band-Aid.
"There. You're good," you said bleakly, turning around. You expected him to get up and leave the room immediately, silent as always. When you didn't hear the creaking of the floorboards again, you turned around to look back at him, confused.
You watched Daryl sit there on the bed, glaring off and completely still. Your expression was as frozen as his, but you knew that he must have been going through something. Even if you hadn't known him long, or shared a particular liking for him, you sympathized with the fact that he lost someone he loved.
No matter who the person was, you wouldn't wish that upon anyone. You turned back, waiting a little longer for him to get up and leave, but he still sat there.
A part of you wanted to repeat yourself and tell him that he could leave, but instead, for some reason, you made another decision on the spot.
Slowly, you turned around, walking over to the bed. You looked down at the ground, silent. Hesitantly, you lowered yourself onto the bed, next to Daryl. By now, you were looking at the man beside you, who wasn't looking back in return.
You sighed, resting your elbows on your legs with your arms hanging between your legs. "I'm sorry you didn't find your brother." You looked back at Daryl when you said that, catching his gaze when he turned to you.
Even though apologizing wasn't something you did often at all, it might have been something that Daryl needed to hear from someone, and you were as good to say it as anyone else.
Your gaze turned back to the ground after noticing that his glare seemed to soften a little. He shifted a little on the bed, looking quickly back down to the floor, giving you a short response, "Yeah."
With that, he pushed himself off of the bed and walked out of the room without looking back. You heard the door open and close as you still sat on the bed, alone now. You closed your eyes, sighing softly. Your mind wandered back to Amy and Andrea, making you close your eyes even tighter.
All of these people losing their loved ones while being in a group made you realize all the more how easy it could have been to lose Carol and Sophia.
With a loud exhale, you fell back on the bed with your arms at your side, trying to erase your mind from everything that happened that night. The only thing that you could really want to focus on was how much your flask would come in handy at that moment. Right then and there.
* * *
The next day was just as silent as last night. You had fallen asleep in the RV, completely drained from the day before.
When you woke up, you felt some weight on your arm, warming the side of your body. You looked down, smiling when you saw Sophia curled up into the crook of your arm, breathing softly. It made you smile, seeing how peaceful she was.
Gently, you raised your arm up to play with her hair, running your fingers through it as you had done so many times before. You knew it must have been hard last night; seeing people that she knew drop dead in front of her, ravaged by roamers.
Slowly, not wanting to disturb her, you started to sit up. Even if it was early, and the sun had barely come up, you knew that the people out there probably needed help with things. Least you could do was pitch in doing the dirty work.
As you straightened up, the smile on your face melted away. You took more notice of Sophia's face. Tear marks ran down her cheeks and bags under her eyes showed that she had cried herself to sleep.
Your heart ached at the sight of her small frame and her skinny arms clinging to your shirt. No girl her age should ever have to go through what she just witnessed last night. No one should see people that they cared about falling one by one.
And still, no matter how much you had a distaste for him, no little girl should need to find some way to get through the death of her father. If you could, you would trade places with her. Take her pain away, just so that she wouldn't have to go through any of that.
Being as careful as you could, you lifted Sophia off of your lap and moved her onto the bed. Lucky for you, she didn't stir at all when you moved.
Standing up, you had to fight not to sit right back down on the bed. Your muscles screamed in protest to you getting up, but sleeping, even more, wasn't an option.
All you did was take in a long hiss of air and exhale it slowly. "Walk it off... Walk it off," you whispered to yourself, shifting your weight.
As you were bending down to pick up your sword, you heard someone from across the room yawn. Looking up, you saw your aunt sitting in the chair with her head against the wall. She blinked awake, looking at you with tired eyes. You saw the same tear marks on her face as you saw on Sophia's.
Smiling weakly at her, you stepped forward, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. When you pulled away, you saw her smiling back at you as well. You looked back at her for a moment before turning and starting to walk out of the room.
When you got to the main room, you saw Jacqui sleeping the same way Carol did, and you were careful to be a little quieter. Some of these people needed the sleep that they were getting.
As you walked through the sitting area, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the head mirror. Your reflection took you a bit by surprise; more so, the large, purple bruise on your eye.
There wasn't much you could do about it, so you just quietly sighed and walked out of the RV.
The sight of people littered across the clearing ahead of you hadn't changed since last night, but it still took you by surprise almost. Another thing that hadn't changed was Andrea.
She was still leaning over Amy, holding her close with her blood on her clothes. Her eyes were filled with sadness as she looked down at Amy, almost like she was waiting for her to open her eyes again.
No matter how much you felt for her, you knew that Amy would open her eyes again as something else, but that would need to be taken care of.
"[Y/N]!" Your head turned at your name being called from the other side of the clearing. Glenn was standing with Daryl and T-Dog, waving you over to them. You stepped off of the stairs leading up to the doorway of the RV and started to walk across the clearing, walking around the roamers that were laid around the camp.
You came up to them, waiting for them to explain what they needed you for. T-Dog handed you a pair of gloves, to which you looked at him with your eyebrow raised.
"We need to go and take care of these walkers. Some of them... They were people that got bit and haven't been taken care of yet." You looked down, putting on the thick work gloves.
"Jim's gonna help us. He's doing a body count." After that, you nodded in response, looking up and crossing your arms.
"You and Glenn are gonna go take the bodies away to burn after Daryl and I are done picking the heads in. We'll burn them later."
T-Dog looked over at Daryl, who had a large pickax resting on his shoulder. He was looking off into the treeline, eyes narrowed and hardly paying attention to what he was being told.
You nodded, looking over at Glenn, "Alright, let's do this." Glenn nodded in response, following you when you started to walk off to go help you move some of the walkers. "Hold up," both of you turned around when you saw T-Dog coming with you with a pickax.
"I'm gonna come with you guys to knock some of these things' heads in." When he came up to you, he shrugged, "Can never be too careful with these things. Walkers can come alive at any second." You gave him a nod before he added on again, "Plus, it's a good stress reliever,"
When you looked over T-Dog's shoulder, you saw Daryl swinging the pick around, driving it into roamer's heads. He looked like he had it taken care of, so you turned back around and went to go find your own roamer.
"Walkers?" You asked over your shoulder about how T-Dog explained what they were. Glenn shrugged, looking around, "What do you call them?"
As he asked that, you came up to a roamer that was laying face down in the dirt, "Roamers."
When Glenn walked up to it, he pushed it onto its side, getting a look at its face. After he did, he looked back at T-dog and shook his head. T-Dog came up next to Glenn, and both of you were quick to step back and give T-Dog some room to take care of it.
With one strong swing, he stuck the end of the pickax into the roamer's head, splitting it down the middle. Black, tar-like liquid gushed out of it, making you fight back a grimace.
Glenn moved around to the feet, while you take your place by the front of it. You hooked your hand under the creature's shoulders, waiting for Glenn to grab its legs. When you both had a firm grip on it, you counted out loud, looking up at Glenn, "One, two-"
On three, both of you lifted the roamer off of the ground. Glenn let out a grunt before starting to lead you back to where you were going to burn the bodies. T-Dog followed you both, pointing to a clear spot, "Right over there." The three of you moved over there, stepping over any other roamers in the way.
You both took it away from the camp a ways before throwing it down with a grunt. Your legs still hurt, but you didn't care much. It was something to take your mind off of things.
The pain in your legs did remind you about Glenn's shoulder, which prompted a question from you. "How's your shoulder?"
Glenn looked back at you, giving you a thumbs up in response. You nodded, taking a moment to rest in silence a little before looking back at T-Dog, "C'mon, let's go finish this up."
* * *
The sun came up after a while, and you had been working with Glenn, T-Dog, and Daryl the entire time. Jim and Jacqui had even woken up and started to pitch in. Lori and Carol had also woken up, along with Shane and Rick.
All of them tried to talk to Andrea at one point, but it didn't look like they had made much progress. Rick even got a gun pointed at his head. You didn't even think about trying to talk to her, not if she reacted that way to someone she really knew.
By now, you and your group that had been taking out the roamer bodies had started a pile of them on fire. The others insisted on keeping the people that they knew separate from the bodies that they were burning to bury them in the holes that Jim had dug before. Rick and Shane were put in charge of that.
You and Glenn had just finished with clearing one part out and were taking a bit of a rest. Daryl had seemed to be taking a break from bashing in roamer heads as well and was walking back towards the RV.
Jim and Jacqui were just about to pick up another roamer body, and you watched as Jacqui looked up at Jim in concern.
You were too far away to hear what they were saying, and you didn't want to eavesdrop, but you could tell that something was wrong with the both of them.
Eventually, as more people moved into the clearing, others started to take notice of the pair in the middle. "You got bit?"
You were close enough to hear Jacqui ask that as she stood up, backing away a bit. Jim continued to stay looking calm, but he looked like he avoided the question.
Slowly, you began to start walking forwards, but you didn't have to be close to here the next thing that Jacqui said. "Then show me!"
Now, the whole camp was looking at them, concerned. Everyone's gaze was locked on Jim, and he knew, but he leaned in to whisper something to Jacqui. Almost as soon as he did, Jacqui leapt back and yelled out, "A walker got him! A walker bit Jim!"
A hole in your stomach opened as Jacqui confirmed what you had feared for Jim.
Like sharks, people began to circle around Jim as he spun around, preparing for someone to leap out at him. "Show it to us!" Daryl demanded, pointing at him, bringing down the pick from his shoulder.
T-Dog and Shane were also slowly making their way towards Jim, who was looking even more scared.
The tension in the air was evident, and it only grew when Jim knelt down and picked up a shovel that was near him.
"Watch it!" Rick warned, making T-Dog back away. "Grab 'em!" Shane yelled, and in an instant, when his back was turned, T-Dog ran forward and grabbed his arms.
The shovel dropped from his hands, and Jim began to pant and wheeze helplessly while shaking his head, "I'm okay!" Of course, no one believed him, and Daryl had run forward.
Half of you thought that he was going to drive the pick into his head right then and there, but you were relieved to see him drop it before he got up to the mechanic.
He lifted up Jim's shirt, exposing whatever on his body that was bleeding, and you watched as Daryl exposed what you figured Jim was hiding.
A large, red and swollen bite mark had placed itself right under Jim's rib cage. You looked up at your friend's face, seeing him shaking his head still.
He was repeating himself over and over, insisting that he was okay. You looked down, putting one hand on your hip and one over your mouth as you come to terms with the fact that one of your only friends in this camp was infected. Another person that you cared about just got taken away.
This group was getting smaller and smaller, and people were dropping like flies. And you were powerless to stop it.
Chapter Text
"I say we put a pickax in his head... Then the dead girl's and be done with it."
The group, all except for the kids and Jim, were huddled in a close circle. To your surprise, you actually were invited to try to decide what Jim's fate would be.
Of course, you didn't want to be the one to decide how Jim would be taken care of, and the only reason you were discussing this with the others was to object to anything like Daryl had just said.
You were just about to say something about it, but Shane beat you to it. "Is that what you'd want? If it were you?"
Looking back and forth between Shane and Daryl with narrowed eyes, you waited for a response from the redneck.
Even if Shane or anyone else agreed with what Daryl was saying and decided that they wanted to carry it out, you wouldn't be one to let them do that.
Daryl scoffed a bit, "Yeah and I'd thank you while you did it." You rolled your eyes, putting your hand on your hips and looking at the group with a glare.
Even though you wanted to say something to the man next to you about his idea of taking care of Jim, you knew that you hadn't been around the camp long enough to start making vetos and demanding things like that.
Anyways, the decision wasn't made just yet. You sighed, knowing you should just try to let things play out, and if you actually thought that someone was going to kill Jim like that, you would say something then.
Dale shook his head, looking at the group as well, "I hate to say it- I never thought I would, but... Maybe Daryl's right." Screw this. You scoffed, glaring at Dale. He turned to you, almost looking surprised at your input. "Jim's not a monster or some rabid dog!"
Right now, besides Carol and Sophia, Jim was the closest thing you had in this sorry group to a friend, so you weren't letting him go without a fight.
At that, Dale furrowed his brow and shook his head, " I'm not saying--" Shane stepped in as Rick started to talk about how Jim was just a sick man. All three of them started talking at once, and you held your glare with Dale.
Eventually, Rick was talking over the others, looking around at everyone in the circle, "We thought about it, but where do we draw the line?"
Your hand gripped around the sword in your belt mindlessly, shutting your mouth and trying not to put anything else into the group conversation about this.
You could respect your place, and weren't going to talk about this decision any more than you needed to. The only time that you would open your mouth would be if you thought it would keep Jim alive.
"The line's pretty clear," Daryl added, looking around and lingering on you a while longer than the rest, "Zero tolerance for walkers! Or then to be."
"What if we can get him help?" Rick suggested. You looked over at him, straight-faced at his proposal. "I heard the CDC was working on a cure." That was almost unbelievable.
You also had heard about the CDC working on something like that, but you didn't give any mind to that. Plus, it was too far away for you to take the chance.
"Yeah, I heard that too," Shane responded, looking down and shaking his head, "I heard a lot of things before the world went to hell."
Looking over, your eyes caught Daryl's glare. He looked back at you for a while before looking away, glaring at Shane and Rick.
You could imagine that he hadn't been too happy with you protesting against his plan when Dale had supported it, but you weren't letting your friend go out like that. Rick continued, "What if the CDC is still up and running?"
"Man, that is a stretch right there," Shane replied, shaking his head. You could agree with him on that.
If it was still up and running, why hadn't it been more advertised? There were other ways of getting the news out about a shelter than reaching out over the news or contacting them by radio.
On your treck up the mountains, there had been plenty of signs about camps or groups, but you didn't plan on wasting your time with them.
The CDC definitely would have more people knowing about it if there was a shelter.
"Why?" Rick asked, hands on his hips, mirroring Shane's own stance, "If there's any government left or any structure, they would protect the CDC at all costs, wouldn't they?"
The thought of taking risks on things that might not even be there anymore didn't particularly appeal to you. Even if it was risky, Rick continued on trying to defend his case, "I think it's our best shot. Shelter, protection, rescue."
Again, people started talking over each other. Shane came out on top this time, pleading his case too now, "Now, you want those things. I do too. Okay? Now, if they exist, they're at the army base. Fort Benning." You sighed, crossing your arms and looking over at Shane.
"That's a hundred miles in the opposite direction," Lori said, shaking her head and looking at the ground in front of her. "That is right. But, it's away from the hot-zone. Now listen to me."
Shane talked quickly, adding one part of his sentence to the next and not giving anyone else the chance to jump in until he was done explaining.
"Now, if that place is operational, it'd be heavily armed. We'd be safe there-" Shane didn't hold the spotlight for long before Rick jumped in again. By now, you had grown tired of them bickering back and forth, not able to make a decision.
When you rolled your eyes, your gaze landed on Daryl. He had turned around and had his gaze locked on Jim, who was looking back at him with fear in his eyes.
Looking back to Daryl, you shifted your weight on your feet, shuffling back a little. You narrowed your stare, preparing yourself in case the man beside you decided he wanted to pull something.
Eventually, Daryl turned his gaze back to the group, tightening his grip on the pickax he still had in his hand. You noticed that there was a small pause in the cluster, and Daryl took advantage of that. "You go lookin' for aspirin. Do what you need to do."
You watched him back out of the group, your eyes widening as you saw him start to raise the pickax over his head.
"Someone needs to have some balls and take care of this!" He started to charge at Jim, who was bracing himself already for the weapon to come down in his head.
Without a second of hesitation, you ran over, putting yourself in between Jim and Daryl.
In your rush of adrenaline, you hadn't heard it when Carol cried out as she watched you defend your friend.
Putting your life on the line wasn't something you would do on a whim, but you wouldn't hesitate to do it for someone you cared about.
Your eyes were daggers, driving stakes into Daryl's gaze as he glared back at you. You had your arms outstretched towards the man in front of you, planting your feet down and not flinching, despite the fact that someone was running at you with a deadly weapon.
When Daryl saw you in front of him, he froze, gaze locked with yours. He had stopped when he heard the click of the hammer of a gun behind his head, along with Rick shouting.
"HEY! We don't. Kill. The living."
The pickax still hung in the air, and glares still rested on both yours and Daryl's face. When you saw Daryl begin to relax and turn around, you began to calm down as well.
"That's funny... Coming from a man who put a gun to my head."
Rick lowered his gun and had ordered the redneck to put down his pickax as well. With a grunt, Daryl threw the pick down on the ground. You lowered your arms, making your stance more relaxed as well.
As soon as Daryl had walked off to God knows where, Rick had walked around to you and over to Jim.
For a second, you were afraid that he was about to give him a swing in the face for some reason or another, but instead, he only hooked an arm under Jim's and yanked him to his feet. Jim looked at you for a second in fear before starting to walk off with Jim towards the RV.
"Where are you takin' me?" Jim's words were racked with fear, and you could completely understand that.
You wouldn't expect to be the favorite of the group if you were carrying a deadly disease with you that had already wiped out half of the fucking world. "Somewhere safe," Rick replied simply before bringing him into the RV.
"I think you should go with him," Shane stated from behind him, making you turn around. He was looking over at Rick and Jim as well before looking over at you. "You can help him, and Rick is pretty convinced we can do that."
The sigh after Shane's words told you that he wasn't exactly on the same page with Rick, but he didn't want to have another disagreement. "Plus," the police officer added, already starting to walk off, "We're gonna need to have someone look out for him."
After that, he had started walking off, leaving you standing alone near the RV. You weren't alone for long before you saw Carol starting to walk up to you, worry filling her eyes. It just now had occurred to you how much of a scare that little stunt had given her.
"Why did you do that?!" Guilt had risen inside of you now, and her tearfully asking that question only made it more evident.
Looking down at her, you reached out and wrapped your arms around her, holding her tightly. "Hey, I'm sorry."
Her recently losing Ed was enough for her to handle. She didn't need to think that she just lost you as well.
You backed away from the embrace, looking down at her before turning and walking towards the RV. She had started to go back to where Dale was sitting. Both of them had been keeping their eyes on Andrea and her sister, still as stone.
You knew they were waiting for Amy to turn, and waiting to do what everyone knew had to be done. Quietly, you walked past the two people on the ground, both covered in blood.
As you got to the door of the vehicle, you looked back over your shoulder at the two girls.
Andrea's sobs had calmed down and had become quieter, but you still saw tears streaming down her pale cheeks. Another pang of guilt hit you, but you knew that there were other places that you were needed.
Quietly, you entered the RV, running into Rick as he was about to leave. He was breathing heavily, still from the run in with Daryl, but he looked a bit relieved to see you.
"[Y/N]," Rick started, going back to his normal stance. "I'm glad I caught you here. I think we might be able to help Jim." Your expression didn't change, and you only looked at him blankly.
He looked down, rubbing his stubble-covered jaw as he figured you probably knew that Jim needed help. "I, uh, suppose you're in here for that."
You glanced behind him, looking back at the man in front of you shortly after, "Yeah." He nodded, looking down and around. "I believe if we can just... Convince the group to go to the CDC, we can get Jim some help."
There was no returning response from you, only the same, cold stare. You'd heard it before. Yes, you wanted to help Jim as much as you could, but it was a risk. What if Jim didn't make it all the way there? He's your friend, but you were well aware that he is dangerous.
When you gave Rick a nod, he started to walk past you. "Hey." Hearing him call out, you looked over your shoulder at Rick. He was looking back at you, his mouth crooked in a small smile.
"You were pretty crazy for doing that out there, but..." He looked down, chuckling a little as he shook his head. "It showed you fight for what you think it's right. We need more people like you."
This little exchange of his made your brow furrow, but he left shortly after that. You looked after him, letting your mind turn to the ex-sheriff.
Maybe you hadn't been seeing enough, but you started to notice that Rick was starting to make some more calls. You're only guess was that some of his old job was still in him; telling people what to do and things along that line.
Another thing you noticed was how many people were listening to what this man was telling them. More so, you couldn't help thinking about how that would rest with Shane.
There had already seemed like there was a bit of tension between them, but you didn't think too much about it all around. They always seemed to be at each other's throats.
Heavy breathing in the back made you turn your gaze. Jim was sitting on the side of the cot, holding his head in his hands. Sweat dripped off of his nose as his body rose and fell with every ragged breath he took. That fact that he was scared shitless went without asking.
Slowly, you started to walk back to the room he was in, your eyes never leaving the infected man. As you entered the room, his head snapped up and looked at you with the same fear in his eyes, until he recognized you.
Holding out a hand, you walked forwards towards him, "Relax, Jim." His shoulders rested from their stiff state, and he looked back down at the ground beneath him.
"They're gonna kill me," Jim stated as you placed your things down, pausing so you could look back at him. His gaze had raised to meet yours, "Aren't they?" You stayed still for a moment before looking back down. "I wouldn't let them do that. You know that."
A chuckle came from the other side of the room as you took down the medical kit. Jim was shaking his head before looking up at you when you turned around.
"You know, you're one crazy chick. Probably one of the craziest I've met since all this started." He smiled at you, nodding slightly, "I owe my life to your craziness. Maybe it isn't just craziness. Maybe it was luck."
By now, you had turned back to your medical kit. Your mind wandered back to Daryl as you heard Jim's words. He saved your life last night. But, another question arose.
Shaking your head, you replied back to Jim. "Everyone in this camp's looking at me like I cheated death or something." After closing the kit, you looked back at Jim. "Why's that?"
Jim held his side painfully as he laughed, shaking his head. "That's right. You're kinda new here."
Uncomfortably, he shifted on the cot to lean against the wall. "Today, you stood between Daryl Dixon-- the most psycho and unpredictable person in camp now that his brother is gone-- and his goal. You should be thankin' God that he didn't drive that pickax into that pretty little head of yours."
Shrugging, you walked over to Jim, "Well, there was also the fact that there was a loaded gun three inches away from his head. Also, I'm going to have to get a look at that bite. You need to take your shirt off so I can get a proper look."
Jim reached down, shaking his head as he pulled off his blood-stained shirt. You had to fight your eyes away from looking down at the bite just yet.
All you could do was try to make this conversation as relaxed as possible, now that the other person that you were conferring with was a ticking time bomb.
"Nah. This whole camp saw. Dixon stopped even before the gun was cocked. He stopped because of something. Whether it was you or something else. But it wasn't the gun. Hell, maybe he wouldn't kill another person. He might just a bit human."
Still, you didn't believe that there was some other reason than Rick 's gun that Daryl would have spared you.
You were convinced that you were far from his favorite person, or that you were someone he would keep around if he had the choice to knock you off the board. Plus, you had to take Jim's words with a grain of salt. He was, in fact, infected.
Reminding yourself of that made another pang of guilt pass through you, but if you were going to help him in any way, you knew that you needed to start now. "Well, whether he stopped because of me or not, we've got to get you checked out."
As you came closer with the rubbing alcohol, Jim nodded an leaned back. You were happy to see him almost forgetting about his bite.
Kneeling down, you wet a cloth that you had been carrying around since this morning with the medical solution and quickly held it to the mechanic's wound. He tried to flinch away, groaning before relaxing a little as you kept it there.
"Just relax. You should be relaxing above all things." Looking up at him, making an effort to some humor back into your voice, "Makes it easier for me at least."
Jim let out a puff of air, sounding like the closest thing he would come with a chuckle. Moving fluently, you reached back and grabbed the bandages and started to wrap them around him carefully. He winced ever once in a while, but he was pretty still for the most part.
"Alright," you finished, straightening up and looking at him. "You're all wrapped up." Jim looked down, grunting in pain a little as he began to push himself up off of the cot.
"Hey." You were quick to put a hand on his shoulder to get him to settle back down. "I'm afraid I can't let you do that."
He looked up at you with a form of pleading in his eyes. The same pit in your stomach formed, but you didn't have any fear or regret in your voice when you spoke the truth to Jim.
"You're dangerous, Jim. So is Amy. We-- The group can't have you out there. I've overheard Daryl talking to Shane and Rick. All he wants to do is put a bullet through both of your heads. I'm just being honest with you right now."
Your cold eye contact met Jim's, making him lay back again. A nod came from you in thanks as you straightened up again, "I need to get you some water. You'll need it."
With that, you turned and started to walk towards the door. Catching yourself, you turned back to the mechanic on the bed.
"Please, just... Don't get up and do anything stupid, okay?" You waited for a reply of some sorts from him, and it didn't take long for Jim to nod and settle in a little bit.
A crooked smile reached your lips before turning and walking out of the room. "Hey, [Y/N]?" Jim called out again, making you turn back and lean into the room, eyebrows raised as you waited for him to finish.
"I don't care what nobody says," Jim said, a weak smile crossing over the older man's lips, "You're part of this group, now. Don't you ever doubt that."
As he said that, a strange feeling spread through your mind. It wasn't something that had been particularly familiar to you since any of this started, but it didn't come unwelcome to you.
Pride and relief spread from your head to your chest, making your heart swell a bit at the thought of being excepted by these few people, despite everything that had happened over these past few days.
With another nod, you went back to the door of the RV, leaving the wounded mechanic in the room alone once more.
Pausing before opening the door, you thought back to what Jim had said to you. Again, the smile came to your face, only more prominent this time. It felt good to be able to smile again, even in these times.
The little moment of happiness was not long lived by any means when you remembered what you were going out of the RV to get. When you opened the door, you instinctively looked over at Andrea, who was now accompanied by Dale on the ground next to her.
She had laid something on her sister's still chest, but you weren't close enough to see. Really, it wasn't your business. You knew that she only needed her time to grieve. Quietly, you stepped off of the last step and walked past her.
Luckily for you, Shane had just come back with some fresh water, and Lori had it already set over the fire to boil it. You started to walk over to her, meeting her gaze as you came closer. "I need some fresh water for Jim, got any yet?"
Looking down, You saw Lori shake her head. "Not just yet, but this is almost clean enough." You nodded in response, looking up. Just as you were about to turn around and head back to the camper, your eyes landed on Carol.
She was making her way around where Daryl was picking in walkers' heads, with God knows what intentions. The only one that you could think of was that she was about to go back there and confront Daryl about either almost killing Jim or you.
Now, you would be more happy to see her standing up for something, but if Daryl was as unpredictable as Jim had told you, you wouldn't want him anywhere near your aunt alone. Especially with a deadly weapon.
Without a second thought, you quickly jogged over in that direction, leaving Lori alone with the water. Retrieving the water had completely slipped your mind as you came closer and closer to where the walker bodies were laid out.
Even if it was something as little as assuming, you weren't putting or leaving your family in any kind of risk.
As you came up to where you had seen your aunt round the corner, you overheard your aunt talking to Daryl, who had taken a break from his pickax.
"He was my husband..."
After that, you quickly rounded the corner. Your eyes landed on your aunt, quickly moving to the object in her small, shaky hands. She was holding the pickax, looking down at what was left of her husband.
Skidding to a stop, you looked up at Daryl, who had that same, endless scowl on his face. He looked back at Carol, then back at you, shrugging and shaking his head a bit.
The thought of your aunt driving a pickax into her deceased husband's half-eaten skull wasn't something that rested well with you. But, in the back of your head, you knew that she was only growing stronger.
This was a step for her, even if it was one that you had hoped she would never have to take. You had to let her deal with this and make the choices that she thought was best. You had to let her grow from that little, shivering state of her's. She could do that, now that Ed was gone.
Slowly, Carol raised the weapon over her head, whimpering as she did it. Even if it was a little selfish of yourself, you wanted her to do this.
Even if she was feeling regret or sadness, she needed to do this. She needed to have the strength to do this herself. It was the only way that she could have a chance of surviving in this hellish place that was the new world.
The pickax made it over her shoulder as she prepared to bring it down on the corpse's head. She cried out a bit more, whimpering still as she brought it back and prepared to bring it down, again and again, shying away from it still. Eventually, the weapon came back over her shoulder and down.
A loud, squelching noise came from the head as black liquid spilled out of the cracked skull.
Louder crying came from your aunt, making you look at her in concern as she brought it up and over again. It almost seemed like she had detached from her old self as she continued to bring the weapon down over and over.
As this continued on for a while you glanced up to Daryl, meeting his gaze that seemed to already be on you. He was looking at you with the same confusion that you had. Your gaze stayed on him for a while before looking back at your aunt.
You wouldn't be surprised if this behavior from her was just as foreign to you as it was to the people that had already been spending some time with her since this all started.
Eventually, Carol's shoulders sunk as she sobbed. She straightened up, now looking at the completely unrecognizable person beneath her as she wiped her eyes and tears away from her cheeks.
She seemed to have calmed herself down a bit more before walking over to you. All she gave you was a sideways glance before handing over the pickax to you. You reached out and took it from her before she walked off, silent and looking almost unphased now.
It was completely different from anything that you had ever seen from your aunt, but it was her way of coping with this. She was free.
Now that Carol had left, you were alone with Daryl, who was looking down at the other corpses. You followed his gaze, looking down as a question rose in your mind.
Why are all of these walkers separate from the rest? Why are they hiding the fact that they are picking in these separately?
As soon as you looked down, the question in your mind was answered.
These were the people from camp. These were the people who had been bitten last night... Besides Amy and Jim. You recognized some of these people, and now, you knew what the graves were for. The ones that Jim was digging.
You glanced back up at Daryl, who seemed to be taking a bit of a break now that you had the pickax.
He looked back at you again, scowl returning to his face. Even though you hated it, the night before returned to your mind again as you looked back at the redneck. More so, when Daryl came charging out of the woods and saved your life.
He didn't need to do that. He knew it was you. Hell, you weren't even sure why he did that. He definitely didn't like you much.
Still, no matter how much you returned his distaste, he had saved your life last night.
Slowly, you walked over to him with your eyes on the ground beneath you.
"Are we burying them?" The question was obvious, but you still asked it as you looked around at the other corpses in the line.
"Yeah, Asian's got somethin' with burying these things," the man beside you answered gruffly, shifting his weight. You looked up at him, a cold, hard expression on your face as you handed the pickax out to him.
You couldn't say that you agreed with what he had just said about not burying the people that they had known, but you knew that his opinion on that shouldn't stop you from showing gratitude to him.
"I have to thank you." Daryl looked down at the pickax before taking it, "Why?"
After he took the tool from your hands, you placed your hands on your hips, looking at the bodies before the both of you.
"You saved my life last night," you finished, looking back at him. Again, he looked back at you, lingering in your gaze for a while before shrugging, "So?" His answer was bleak and curt, but your expression didn't change.
"So I'm thanking you. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't see myself being one of your favorite people in camp at the moment."
You took your arms from your hips and brought them up to cross over your chest, shrugging. "Then there's always the fact that you didn't drive a pickax into my head."
At that, Daryl shrugged and started to walk away, "There was a gun to mine. I didn't really have a choice." You chuckled softly to yourself as you thought back to Jim's words. You knew he didn't stop for you.
"Help drive these up to the hill?" Your gaze turned to Daryl who was looking at the bodies. "Yeah, I just need to go and find Jacqui. She'll look after Jim while I'm out there with you." He nodded as you turned, passing him.
"Hey-" Just as you were about to leave and go find your replacement for Jim, something tapped your arm and Daryl had called out to you again. You turned your head, looking back at the redneck behind you. He was nudging your arm with something, and your gaze turned to that.
It was your flask. You could still hear the liquid sloshing around inside. "I took it from you when I first met you in the woods."
Now, you turned fully around, looking up at Daryl. He looked back for a moment before looking back down and shrugging, "I figured you could use it after last night."
The fact that he was giving this back to you, based on his character, confused you in one form of mind. In the other, you saw that he wasn't what you really thought he was. Well, at least not all like you thought he was.
After a moment of him looking at you expectantly, you reached up and put your hand on the flask over his.
Instead of taking it out of his hands, you pushed it back towards him lightly. He looked at you, raising an eyebrow at your gesture. Your expression softened, and you looked back at him with a straight face, "Keep it."
Hesitantly, Daryl took it back, still having an eyebrow raised. "I owe you," you stated, shrugging after that. "And if not that, then it's a peace offering."
After another quick moment, you looked back at the ground. "I'll, uh, I'll meet you back here. You go get the truck and I'll get Jacqui. Then we can start loading them up."
Daryl nodded, opening his mouth to say something before a gunshot rang out around camp. You jumped, your hand instinctively going to your sword as you turned in the direction of the sound only to have your heart sink.
There they both were, covered in blood and one limp in the other's arms.
Andrea had finally put down Amy but hadn't let go of her yet.
It didn't take long for Daryl to speak up again before quickly turning and walking off, "Yeah."
Looking back, you watched Daryl storm off. You couldn't imagine that this was a very welcome sight to Daryl most of all. Watching one sibling put down the other after they turned probably wasn't a sight he would want to see.
Turning back around, you sighed before walking off to go find Jacqui before Daryl got back. If he was already a bit on edge, you'd not want to keep him waiting too long.
Notes:
A/N : Hello Readers! I'm sorry this chapter took so long to be published! Exams were this week, and I got very backed up with editing, but everything should get back on track now!
Chapter 8: Unstable
Chapter Text
"Left." Daryl was sitting next to you in the truck, looking over his shoulder just like you. Your job was to look out for rocks and potholes that might jostle the truck enough for it to knock a body out of the back.
He veered the truck to the left, avoiding a large stone that threatened to throw the truck off kilter.
As the both of you drove on, Shane and Rick came into view as the truck came over the hill. Based on their expressions, neither of them looked very happy with the other.
You didn't dwell on the subject in your mind long after they both turned in the direction of the truck, backing away from each other as Daryl pulled up.
"Alright," after that, you nodded and looked in front of you, "That's good." The vehicle came to a stop and the engine shuttered as the redneck turned the key after he had stopped fully.
It was silent in the old truck before the both of you stepped out. Daryl's old mood had also come back as well, after seeing what had happened to Amy. That reminded you that the rest of the group was following after the truck.
Most of the bodies were kept in the back, but Amy was still being carried up the hill by T-Dog and Andrea on an ironing board.
You could understand Andrea wanting to keep Amy separate, and you really had nothing to say on the matter besides the fact of thinking that they could have found something else besides an ironing board.
When you stepped out of the car, you saw that Daryl had already beat you around to the back. "I still think it's a mistake not burning these bodies."
The tone of Daryl's voice had always been rough, but now that he was back to his normal, sour mood, you took notice that it was different from when he was talking to you earlier.
He didn't seem interested in dropping the subject either as he went on, "It's what we said we'd do, right? Burn 'em all, wasn't that the idea?"
The man walked forwards towards the graves. This question was also more of a challenge than a real question, like most of the things he asked. With a bit of annoyance, Shane answered, "At first."
A scoff came from Daryl, "The Chinaman gets all emotional, says it's not the right thing to do; We just follow him along?" At the mention of your friend by the redneck, the likeness that you had been feeling for him slowly started to deplete.
It wasn't even the fact that you were extremely sensitive about your friend and how he was viewed by other people, it was the lack of sensitivity from Daryl. He wouldn't even stop to mourn the people that he lost. You had a backbone, probably stronger than most, but that didn't stop you from being humane.
Still, Daryl ran his mouth, "These people need to know who the hell's in charge here. What the rules are." Rick looked up and to Daryl, "There are no rules."
When Shane looked up, his eyes caught you. His expression hardened a bit as he looked back at Daryl, "Why'd you bring her up here? She's supposed to be looking after Jim."
With that, you whipped around with your hard expression meeting Shane's. Daryl gave him a look, showing that he didn't think it mattered in the first place.
Probably jumping the bit, you snapped back, "You know I can do more than just watch over someone who's sick. Don't get pissy with him either. I can help, and I'm not--"
Raising a hand Rick stopped you, "Alright, alright. He didn't mean it like that." He lowered his hand, but you didn't lower your hard expression. Shane sighed and shrugged, his voice irritated, "All I was trying to say was that Jim shouldn't be left unattended."
Pausing a minute, you started to walk over to a grave where a shovel was laying, "He's not. Jacqui's with him, and I wouldn't leave him on his own if I knew that he was unstable. I'd be there with him."
In your little spurt of defense, you had barely noticed the rest of the group. All of them were either standing in mourning or were looking at you.
Glenn and T-Dog were two that were doing so, but you again focused on Rick. He looked around a little before stepping over to the truck, "Alright. Let's get this done with."
Daryl and Shane followed after him, as did you. You paired up with Daryl after Shane and Rick get with each other, taking one of the bodies out.
When you and Daryl hoisted a body out of the back of the vehicle, Glenn and T-Dog silently stepped up behind the both of you.
You kept a firm grip on the body in your arms as Daryl started walking back, holding the feet. Watching him, you could tell that he was being a lot less careful than you were with handling this.
When the pair of you got to a grave, you stepped in, grunting at the weight as Daryl dropped the lower half that he was carrying to go back to the truck.
Meanwhile, you were still trying to line up the body itself, keeping it from facing at an awkward angle before you would pull your self out.
Glenn had come over to you after he and T-Dog had put the other body in a grave, offering a hand to help you out, and you took it. He pulled you up, giving you a crooked smile as you walked back to the group.
Now that you had stepped back a while, you noticed that the group had grown much smaller than when you had first joined them.
Now, it was just Morales' family, Rick's family, your family, Shane, Daryl, Glenn, Jacqui, Dale, T-Dog, Andrea, and Jim for now. Hopefully, the group wouldn't continue to lose numbers at this rate.
Just as you stepped into the group, your name was being screamed out from the bottom of the hill. "[Y/N]!"
Whirling around, you looked down the hill, followed by most of the group. Jacqui was running up the slope, obviously in some kind of panic as she called out your name. After a moment, you broke through the crowd of people to the back.
Quickly, Jacqui met with you, shaking her head frantically. You put your hands on her shoulders, attempting to steady her while looking into her eyes, "What is it?" Your voice was calm, knowing that this was the way to deal with someone in a panic.
"It's-- It's Jim. He's hurting," Jacqui explained through panting.
Your eyes drifted to the side as the familiar feeling of your stomach sinking came back. But, even though you didn't want to believe that this was happening, you knew that you needed to go and help him. He needed you there.
Nodding, you ran past Jacqui and down the hill, sprinting once you got to the bottom over to get to the RV.
This is your fault. He needed you to stay with him, and you left. This is--
When you got to it, and without any hesitation, you burst through the RV door. "Jim?"
Immediately, you changed your tone and attitude from the panicked and worried state back to a calmer one.
A dry, raspy cough answered your call, making you head straight to the back of the RV. Even before you got in the same room with him, a strong stench filled your nostrils. The back room stank of sickness and vomit mixed with an overpowering smell of sweat.
Huddled in the corner on the cot, you saw your friend pitifully shaking and shivering. Jim looked absolutely miserable.
He looked back at you, and his eyes had puffed with goopy, yellow liquid piling up in the corners. "[Y/N]..." His voice was weak, and he had a coughing fit after.
"Shit..." A whisper escaped your mouth. You could never have thought that something like this would have moved so quickly through someone who hadn't already been killed. You thought he would've had more time.
Without another moment of hesitation, you darted over to the man's side. A hand hesitantly raised to his forehead, but even before touching him, you could feel the heat emanating off of his body.
Still, he shivered and pulled the thick blanket tighter around him as he swallowed, struggling to breathe. "You're burning up," you stated, looking around.
To your relief, Jacqui had brought in some fresh water, and there already was a cloth soaking in the bucket. Reaching down, you took the cloth and pressed it to his forehead.
He seemed to relax when you pressed the cold towel, but his chest still heaved and coughs came from him every once in a while.
Slowly, Jim spoke again, "I'm not gonna make it much longer, [Y/N]... That's pretty obvious." When you thought about losing your friend, it was bad enough. Him saying it aloud triggered a pain that you hadn't been prepared for.
Shaking your head, you stood up and moved over to the first aid kit, "Don't say that shit, Jim." You started to rummage through it, looking for anything that would treat a fever or any kind of flue, but to your dismay, only found more bandages.
"Damn it," you whispered, which appeared to make Jim laugh quietly. You put the box up calmly before turning back around to Jim, he was smiling at you now weakly.
"Who knew," Jim asked quietly, shaking his head. Your brow furrowed as you moved closer, pressing the cloth back to his hot head, "What?"
Jim opened his mouth to reply, but instead of words, coughs began to rack his body again. They were more wet now, and you could tell that he was about to hack something up. There was another tin next to you on a small table, and you were quick to grab it.
As you handed it to him, he took it out of your hands and leaned over it. You watched in sorrow as you saw your friend spit dark red liquid into the bucket held tightly in his grip.
When he finished coughing up the blood, you went back to pressing the cloth to his head. He had stopped coughing just in time for you to hear the door open behind you.
Turning your head, you saw Rick and Lori entering the RV, both of them looking concerned. You turned back to Jim, replying over your shoulder, "His fever's gotten worse..."
Approaching footsteps signaled to you that the two people in the other room were coming to join you, but you didn't turn your gaze to meet either of them.
"Anything we can get you?" Lori's familiar voice said calmly from behind you as Rick stayed silent. Jim's brow furrowed as he choked back a cough before replying, "Uh, water. More water would be nice."
Before you could say anything else, Lori had already responded, "Alright then. [Y/N]? Would you come with me?" You only turned your head to the side for a moment before standing up.
Your hand clutched Jim's, squeezing it tightly before dropping it gently. He smiled up at you before you turned around to the pair of people behind you.
Lori gave you a small smile that you didn't return as you walked past her. Your expression was cold as you walked out of the camper, closing the door loudly behind you as you left.
Your body language and the way that you walked showed that you had something to be upset about when you started to make your way across the clearing to were the clean water was sitting in the shade. Your fists were clenched, making your knuckles white and your nails dig into your palms.
"[Y/N]!" You didn't acknowledge Lori when she called out behind you, drawing the attention from most of the camp. You could care less if people were staring.
The sound of gravel crunching behind you didn't make you turn around either. "[Y/N], calm down..."
When she insisted, your anger finally boiled over.
Whirling around, you faced Lori, who looked scared at your reaction.
"How!? Jim's dying, Lori! And I'm the one responsible for that!" You pointed at yourself, making it obvious that any of the anger that you had was directed at yourself instead of anyone else.
Your finger moved and now your point was directed to the RV, "That- in there- that is my fault! I didn't do everything I could have, and now Jim is paying for that! I left him, and now he's going to die, and that is my fault!" Your chest rose and fell as your shoulders sunk down.
Lori's face was frozen with fear after you finished, as was she. Looking away to the side, you placed a hand over your mouth, closing your eyes.
"Rick..." You shook your head as you said that before turning back to Lori, "I didn't listen to him. I should've been with Jim."
The hand went back up to your mouth as you paced around a bit, trying to grab hold of your emotions.
A hand on your shoulder made you turn around, your normal glare softening as you saw Lori's empathetic expression.
"Rick doesn't blame you for this... He really doesn't."
When she said that, you wanted to believe it. You really did want to believe that one of the prominent figures in the camp didn't blame you for the death of one of the members of his group. Still, it was difficult.
Without a response, you turned back and snatched up the water bucket with a puff of air before starting to walk back to the RV.
Most of the peoples' eyes were on you as you walked back, but you were careful not to make eye contact with anyone. Not even Sophia or Carol, who were both looking after you with concern.
Even if you made sure it looked like you were just pissed off at your mistake, the guilt still gnawed at you, despite Lori's words.
A figure in the door appeared before you as you tried to enter the RV. Looking up, your eyes met Rick's. You expected for him to look back at you in anger or even gloating, but his expression was almost unreadable.
"[Y/N]," his voice was calm, and your expression didn't change in the least bit as you expected him to go on. "I'd like to talk to you."
That was something you expected from him. He wanted to talk to you about how you had left Jim.
Without even a nod, you started to walk into the RV, waiting for him to do the same. He did, and now, you were both standing in the middle of the living area. He had his hands placed on his hips, looking first at you and then the pale of clean water in your hand.
"Why don't you go take that to him first? Then we'll talk."
It took a moment for you to start to move before walking to the back of the RV. Jim was still coughing quietly, but you had gotten used to the smell in the back room.
He looked up at you, smiling as you sat down next to him. You kept silent as you dipped a small cup into the water, bringing it out slowly. You bought it to Jim's lips, tilting it slightly so that he could drink.
Your eyes traveled down to the bandage that was lined with blood, despite the fact that you had only put it on this morning. The amount of blood didn't concern you, but the slight discoloration did.
When Jim finished drinking, you looked back up at him and lowered the cup from his lips, leaving on the table beside him. He gave you another, crooked, weak smile before you stood up and turned away.
You started to make your way back to Rick, stopping in the doorway before you got to the living area.
Hesitantly, you looked over your shoulder at Jim, who had his head leaned back on the wall behind him, his chest rising and falling in shaky breaths.
Except for the soft coughing coming from the back room, when you entered the living space, it was silent.
Rick was looking at you with no readable expression, just like before. You looked back at him, waiting for him to say something. Regardless, you knew he wanted you to talk to him first.
Looking down with a sigh, you broke the silence. "I didn't--" You bit down on your bottom lip as you looked out of the window in front of the both of you.
Rick nodded, looking down. He knew what you were going to say, but he didn't need to hear it before going on, "I know. And that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."
As soon as he said that, you looked back at him, silent. Rick shifted his weight before speaking again, "I don't blame you. And neither does Jim. I wanted to talk to you about..." He rubbed his chin again before meeting your eyes.
"I want you in this group. Jim... he would want you to stay with us. Shane trusts you, and so do Glenn and T-Dog. I think that I would have plenty of trouble on my hands with Carol and Sophia if you didn't stay with us."
Now, your hard stare began to soften, as did your defensive stance.
"The point is," Rick paused. "You've helped us. You've helped Glenn, and when Jim needed help, you were there. You're someone that we can trust, [Y/N]. We need people like that." There was another brief silence as both of you looked at each other.
"I want you to stay with us, [Y/N]," Rick finished, looking at you still. It took a moment, but you knew what your answer was.
Slowly, you nodded, and a returning nod came from Rick. As he responded with that, a sense of relief washed over you with no warning, but it felt nice. It felt nice to belong somewhere.
When this all started, you really didn't expect to find a group out here. All you had in mind was finding Sophia and Carol and making sure they were safe. Now, you had, and you weren't complaining about the extras that came along with it.
After that, Rick turned and left the RV silently, met with Shane and Lori as he exited. You quickly went to the back room again, kneeling beside Jim. His hand was laid on his waist, and his eyes had shut. The only thing that kept you from shaking him awake was the steady rise and fall of the man's chest.
Looking at him and his semi-peaceful state made the faint tracings of a smile spread across your lips.
Slowly, you reached out and took his hand gently, giving it a small squeeze before straightening it up again and letting it go. He seemed to be a bit more relaxed after his talk with Rick, and you wouldn't disturb his well-needed sleep.
Silently, you left the back room and the RV, closing the door quietly behind you. Once you got outside, you were quick to take in a drag of fresh air, savoring it. Being in the hot RV with that smell almost made you sick, and you were glad to feel the cool air on your body.
Still, no matter how much you wanted to stay outside, you knew that Jim still needed to be taken care of. All you were out here to do was find Carol and Sophia to notify then that you were staying. You didn't think that it would take very long, and you were correct.
Sophia and your aunt were hanging up some wet towels that had just been washed and smiled at you when they saw that you were making your way over to them. You gave them a small smile back, jogging over now. "How's Jim holding up?"
That was the first thing Carol asked, and you were quick to answer it, "He's asleep now. He's relaxing." You made sure to leave out the bad parts and maybe sugar coat it a bit, but only because Sophia had been right next to you.
Carol nodded, looking down at your cousin. "See? There's nothing to worry about," she stated, and you backed it up with a smile to Sophia as well. You'd made a mental note to go over his medical state with Carol later.
"I have to tell you guys something." Shifting your weight, you looked down at the ground as you said that. "I- uh, I had a talk with Rick earlier."
When you looked back up, you saw a worried expression across Carol's face, but Sophia just looked curious.
You guessed that Carol had been contemplating your punishment for what had happened earlier more than Sophia had. Unable to keep a smile from your face, you began to chuckle a bit, "Guess you guys are stuck with me now, because I'm not going anywhere."
Carol sighed in relief and Sophia's smile only grew wider. She walked forward, wrapping you in her little arms as you embraced her in return.
"Alright, I've gotta go keep an eye on Jim. I'll see you later." Sophia unwrapped her arms from around you, and you backed away from them. With one last smile, you turned around and started to walk back to the RV.
You only got about halfway before a hand on your shoulder stopped you. Turning around, you saw Glenn standing behind you with a small smile on his face. "Rick, Dale, and Shane are back. We're gathering around the fire for a meeting," he said, still smiling a bit.
You nodded, and Glenn followed up, "Welcome to the group. Glad you're staying with us." Nodding again, you returned the smile with a crooked grin before walking over to the fire where most of the group was already.
As soon as you got there, your eyes went to Andrea, who was sitting silently curled up with a blanket. You quickly averted your eyes, not wanting to take in the pitiful sight of someone who had buried one of their loved ones.
The mood had quickly changed with you, but your expression remained unreadable. T-Dog was standing next to Glenn, and when you looked at him, he gave you a faint smile. You smiled back before looking back in front of you.
When you did, your eyes caught someone else's. Daryl was sitting outside of the group, and you caught him looking at you. Of course, when you looked back at him, he looked away.
Even if you had been here for only a few days, you were able to scope out what everyone was like, and so far, you had been pretty correct with your assumptions. But this man confused you.
His nature was stand-offish, and he didn't seem to take a particular liking to you, but other times, he treated you normally. Almost like some kind of weird friend, but he was still quiet.
All you could make certain in your mind was that if he stayed tolerable, you'd tolerate him. You just didn't know why he acted so strangely.
From the corner of your eye, you could see him get up and walk over to Glenn, who had moved to the other side of the fire from you. He was whispering something, but you were too far away to hear any part of the conversation.
~ Daryl's P.O.V. ~
Daryl had been meaning to ask someone about the large bruise on [Y/N]'s face. Talking to [Y/N] wasn't his favorite thing to do, so he'd avoid asking her if he could.
She didn't seem to like talking to him either. Not that he cared what she liked or not. He just thought that it would be easier to get it out of someone else. And he knew the easiest person as well.
Still, before he went to go ask someone else, he still sat and looked at the wound on the young woman's framed face. The way she carried herself was quiet, but she was strong.
It was evident that she would defend her beliefs and people that she cared about, and he knew that that kind of behavior would easily get herself on Rick and Shane's good side. She also seemed like a fighter. A good one at that. She was good with a blade, and she could defend herself.
Hell, she'd die for that little blonde girl and the old lady here.
Only when she looked back at him did Daryl realize he was staring. He was quick to look away, focusing his attention back on his crossbow.
Soon after that, he got up and went over to Glenn, who was standing next to T-Dog. Both of them turned to him with no welcoming expression from either. "[Y/N]..." He whispered, dropping his voice low to Glenn.
The younger man shrugged, "What about her?" Daryl was careful not to look in her direction as to not alert the woman across the fireplace that they were talking about her. "That bruise. Where'd that come from?"
Glenn shifted, biting his bottom lip in thought. Even if he didn't want to tell him, Daryl knew he would. "Ed," Glenn started, looking up at Daryl and dropping his voice lower as well.
"Ed hit her. She was trying to protect Carol, and she got clocked in the process," he finished, looking almost shameful at spilling [Y/N]'s information to him.
Daryl nodded before sauntering off to the other end of the fire again. It seemed like the type of thing that Ed would do. Hell, maybe it had been better for the walkers to get to him instead of [Y/N].
~ Your P.O.V. ~
You knew that the small cluster over there was talking about you. Still, it didn't matter to you.
Really, you didn't care or think it was much of your business. You were just focused on what Shane, who had joined the group along with Dale and Rick, had to say.
The air was tense around you all, but Shane didn't hesitate to break the silence once everybody was listening.
"I've been, uh-- I've been thinking about Rick's plan," the police officer started, looking around at everyone and making sure to contact their eyes.
"Now, look, there are no--- There are no guarantees either way. I'll be the first one to admit that."
Rick and Shane stared at each other, hard expressions over their faces. You could easily tell that neither of them completely agreed with each other, and now the group was just waiting to hear who won the argument of where they would be heading.
"I've known this man a long time. I trust his instincts..."
A small pause hung in the air as Shane, Rick, and Lori all stared at each other, obvious tension between the trio, spreading like bolts of electricity through the air.
Shane was the first to break eye contact, "The most important thing is that we stay together." He looked down, fidgeting with his hands a bit as he continued.
"So, those of you that agree... We leave for the CDC first thing in the morning."
Chapter 9: Rear-View Mirror
Chapter Text
The entire group was starting to pack up for the trip after Shane was done talking, and you were quick to help them with it.
Your main concern was with Sophia, Carol, and Jim in the traveling, but if Rick was right and the CDC was still up and running, you'd at least be able to get all of them to help.
Every time you went in to check on Jim, he was sleeping, but you didn't take any chances. Each time, you'd go up and check his pulse to make sure that he really was still alive.
His pulse was still there, but so was his fever, which was only getting worse. Still, you'd been too busy packing up to spend a ton of time by your friend's side.
Instead, Carol was watching him, but you forbid Sophia from going in there. If she saw the state that Jim was in or some kind waking nightmare happened, like when Jacqui was watching him, you didn't want her to see it. You wouldn't want Carol to see it either, but no one else was entirely available.
"[Y/N]!" Shane called you from the other side of the clearing, waving you over when you turned to him.
You set the jugs of water down before going over to where Shane was standing along with Andrea. To your relief, Andrea had started talking again. Not much, but it was more than before. At least it was an improvement.
"You'll need this," Shane stated, setting a familiar object in your hand. It was your handgun. A Taurus PT 92. Even if you were more partial to your sword, you had missed your gun. "We figured we'd give it back to you after giving you your sword back," Shane stated, smiling at you when you looked up.
Shrugging he continued, "I actually wasn't supposed to give you your sword back that day that Jim was digging." He paused a little before nodding slowly, "But I trusted you. We trust you." He paused, giving you a bit of a wary look. "Don't make me regret it."
You looked back at him blankly before nodding slowly in return. You could understand that.
"You know how to properly use that?" He asked, turning back to Andrea to resume his little lesson.
You walked away from the small group after that, aiming to go back to your water jugs, only to find that T-Dog had beat you to it. He turned back around to you after he put them in the small jeep that Shane would be riding in, smiling as he walked up to you.
"I never got to tell you I was glad you're staying with us," the taller man said, going in for a bit of an awkward bro-hug that caught you off guard. You quickly returned it, but it still didn't save the fact that it was awkward. "Yeah," you replied, giving him a crooked smile, "I'm glad I'm staying, too."
You had no idea that you joining this group was such a big debate between everyone, but you supposed you knew the mindset they were coming from.
After that, you both went back to your business. You couldn't help but notice that everybody had been giving you a welcome to the group, treating you like a friend already. Everyone, except Daryl.
He'd just been refraining from talking to you. You wouldn't deny that you had been extremely quiet, excluding yourself from most of the people there when you first arrived.
Now, you had been easing your way into helping out more. But these people were just so welcoming to you. Even Carl was. You guessed it was because you shared a common interest of some sorts.
Both you and Carl enjoyed video games before the shit hit the fan, and really enjoyed comic books, and when you got your old bag back, Carl immediately showed interest when he caught you reading your comic book that you from before.
You had just been reading it for something to do, but it amused you when Carl started to go on about how much he enjoyed them. In the end, you ended up giving it to him, which made you his new favorite person. After that, you had caught Rick and Lori smiling at you from across the camp.
This was all before the attack that night, and only on the first day that you had arrived there.
You hadn't talked much to anyone besides Sophia and Carol that day, but those two people already seemed to like you.
That night had changed the camp but only seemed to have brought you closer and closer to the group.
You soon found some other things to help pack up, and the rest of the day seemed to fly past like a blur.
The sun was setting, and Jim had slept through the entire day and didn't look like he was up to waking back up. You'd just hope he'd sleep through the night.
The thought of him being alone and you leaving him still was getting you upset. On the bright side, Carol and Jacqui seemed fine with watching him and making sure to check his pulse.
Rick had told you earlier that day that when they were talking, he was going on about random and weird things, but you explained that the kind of behavior that he was showing was only side effects of dehydration and that he should keep drinking.
Overall, he was surviving, but you knew that this trip would be a challenge, and fully expressed that knowledge to Rick.
On the other hand, you were extremely tired after the day ended. You began to stop yourself from sitting down, not wanting to risk falling asleep.
After what happened the night before, you'd want to stay out and guard more than you would want to sleep.
You didn't even know how or why the walkers that were there last night showed up out of the blue. Their appearance was completely random. Even if you didn't know, you'd still want to be put there to guard.
Your gun had been returned to its rightful place in your belt, as was your sword. Again, a hand was instinctively placed on the handle of your blade.
The sun had completely set, and you were standing in the dark, guarding while Glenn and T-Dog were standing guard on the other sides, along with Shane and Rick.
Daryl was somewhere, and Dale was sitting up on top of the RV, keeping a lookout from high up, but you could tell that he wouldn't make it all night without falling asleep. The camp was completely silent. Until a stick snapped from behind you.
Whirling around, you raised your blade, making it ring as you drew it out of the sheath in your belt. Your feet snapped into the stance in which a fencing match starts in, balancing yourself on the balls of your feet and pointing the blade out in front of you.
When your eyes met with the figure's behind you, you lowered your blade a little after a while.
Daryl was standing there, raising his hands up a bit, "Relax." Your expression hardened as you slid your sword back into its holster. "After last night? Yeah, right," you turned back around after saying that, crossing your arms over your chest.
It took a moment before you heard footsteps walking up behind you. "You're no use when you're barely standing on your feet," the man that was now standing beside you said. Turning your head to him, your narrowed your eyes, "I can handle myself."
After that snarky remark, you turned back to face in front of you, catching as Daryl turned his gaze to you for a while before turning back, "What's up your ass?"
You let out a long exhale of air, shrugging, "Nothing's up. What do you care?" The anger that you were showing towards yourself was making itself evident in your voice, not caring if you wanted it to or not.
There was a long pause between the two of you as you expected Daryl to start yelling back at you or at least getting upset in return. "You should get some sleep."
His monotone remark confused you, but you decided there was no reason to snap back at the man next to you. Shrugging, you shifted your weight, "I can't sleep."
After that, both of you stood in silence for a while, though you felt like you wanted to say something to the redneck next to you. You just didn't know what.
"I heard you're staying with us." Those words made you turn to Daryl as he said them, catching his eyes as he looked back to you. The moonlight on his sculpted features turned his face to the color of a soft blue that rested upon his furrowed brow as he looked back at you.
His voice wasn't welcoming, and neither was his expression, but he just left that sentence off there.
The both of you stood together in the dark for a while longer, looking at each other before you both broke eye contact. "Just go in. I'll cover the rest of tonight," he demanded again after a while, and this time, you didn't think it was worth the arguing.
With a sigh, you looked down and nodded. You turned around and started to walk back to the camper, intending to check on Jim again before you slept. Luckily for you, the camper wasn't too far away from where you were standing.
The very thought of laying down was a relief to you, but it still made you nervous to not be out there. When you got the camper, you opened the door. Before stepping in, something compelled you. It compelled you to turn and looked back to Daryl.
And before you could shake it off, you looked back at him. And, again, he was looking after you. Your eyes met for a moment before Daryl nodded, giving you the last bit of reassurance that he would be okay guarding out there.
With a bit of hesitation, you stepped into the camper, closing the door quietly behind you. That exchange was strange for you. Just because it was Daryl.
His body language showed he didn't like you much. His tone was the same. His words were different.
Still, you didn't bother yourself with thinking about that. You were much too tired, though you didn't want to admit it.
When you got into the camper, you went to the back room, peaking in to see Carol sleeping with Sophia in her lap.
Jim looked like he was sleeping peacefully, and you could still see the steady rise and fall of his chest.
You looked back over your shoulder, seeing Andrea and Jacqui laying in the seats at the table, calmly sleeping. Really, the only place that you could find to sleep was the seats in the front.
One was a bit larger than the other, and it was in front of a huge window. It'd be a perfect way for you to keep watch and get some rest at the same time.
As quiet as you could, you walked to the front of the RV and squeezed your way to the front seat.
After you were semi-comfortable, you kicked off your shoes and brought your knees to your chest.
Resting your head on them, you turned your head and looked out the window. Everything was so peaceful. So much more than last night.
Slowly, your eyelids grew heavier and your head fell back against the wall of the RV as you slipped into a dreamless sleep.
* * *
The next day seemed to arrive as soon as you closed your eyes. You woke to the feeling of someone shaking your shoulder gently, looking up when you saw Lori.
You blinked rapidly as the sun stung your eyes before sitting up quickly. "Is everything alright?" You asked the woman in front of you, rubbing your eyes as you started to slide on your shoes again.
"Yes, everything's fine. We just need to get everyone up and out into the camp. We're leaving," she said as she walked out of the camper to look for Carl.
Now that you were looking outside, you noticed that all of the tents had been packed away and were placed in the vehicles around the edge of the clearing.
"Shit," you mumbled to yourself. You had no idea how long you had slept. Others in the camper had just woken up the same time as you and were also getting themselves changed and dressed.
Carefully, you walked down the isle down to the back room, hearing faint coughing before you entered the room.
Jim was trying to sit up, looking up to you when you stopped in the doorway. You bent down, picking up a water pale and brought it over closer to him, allowing him to dip the little tin cup into the water again.
After he had a drink of water, he reached over and placed the cup on a small table, groaning as he did. "How are you feeling?" You asked, setting the pale down again and crossing your arms over your chest.
Jim inhaled sharply as he responded, looking up at you with tired, bloodshot eyes, "Not any better than yesterday..." You nodded, scratching the back of your neck. "We're leaving. For the CDC."
Stepping forward, you reached your hand out and gently took his in yours, squeezing it lightly. "We might be able to get you some help. All you have to do..." You trailed off, forcing yourself to believe that he could do what you were asking. "You have to hold on just a little while longer."
Jim smiled, squeezing your hand in return before coughing a little bit. "I'm tired... I think," he said, coughing in between his words. "I'm gonna rest a bit more..." You nodded after a moment, letting go of his hand as you stepped back and out of the room.
The entirety of the group in there seemed to have gone out, so you took this time to change. All of the ladies in the group had pitched in to give you some change of clothes, and you were grateful for that.
Showers weren't something you would come upon, and working ones were even rarer. Changing your clothes was the closest thing that you could come to keeping your hygiene up.
You opened your bag, shuffling through some shirts until you found one of the ones that fit you well. You pulled it out and pulled your other one off of you, throwing it into your bag as well.
Quickly, you threw the other one over your head, pulling it down over your chest and running your fingers through your hair after you did.
Not wanting to miss out on anything said outside when Shane and Rick got back, you put the bag back up and hurried outside.
You closed the door behind you, turning around to Carol standing behind you. "Sorry, I slept a little later than I wanted to," you said as you put your hair back in a high ponytail.
Carol only smiled and shook her head, "You needed that sleep." She smiled at you, tilting her head to the side, "We're gathering around the cars we are taking. We should be off in half an hour at least."
Nodding, you started to walk towards the cluster of people standing around in a circle near cars packed to the brim with supplies and things that the small group would be taking with them.
The group looked over at you, and Shane nodded and began to speak when you got to the gathering. "Alright, listen up," he started, looking at everyone. "Those of you with CB's, we're gonna be on channel forty. But let's keep the chatter down, okay?"
You crossed your arms over your chest again, shifting your weight as you looked at the people there. Shane continued, "Now, if you have a problem, don't have a CB, can't get a signal, anything at all. You're gonna hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan."
Shane looked around, "Any questions?" There wasn't much of a pause before the familiar voice of Morales spoke up, "We're, uh... We're not going."
Silence fell over the group as they all looked at the family. Their departure wasn't expected, which was obvious, and this came as a surprise for most.
"We have family in Birmingham," his wife said, smiling weakly and shrugging, "We want to be with our people."
Shane looked at them, raising his eyebrows, "You go on your own, you won't have anyone to watch your back." Morales nodded firmly, showing that he knew what he was doing, "We'll take our chances. I have to do what's best for my family."
Rick looked at them as well, his eyebrows raised as well, "You sure?" After that, Morales looked back down at his children, "We talked about it. We're sure." He looked back at Rick after that, and the sheriff nodded in response, "Alright. Shane?"
Shane looked over, nodding before they knelt down in front of the bag of guns. They both straightened back up, Rick with a .357 and a carton of ammo. "The box is half full."
You heard a scoff come from the other side of the group, and your eyes glued on Daryl. He shook his head lightly, and you narrowed your eyes at him.
He obviously was upset with the fact that Shane was giving the family that much ammo, but they needed to survive. You sympathized with wanting to protect your family, whatever way they thought was best.
"Thank you all," the young woman next to Morales said, her words breaking into tears towards the end.
Sophia ran past to one of his children, who met her in the middle as they cried softly. Other people soon followed in the goodbye. You stayed outside of the ring now, giving the family a sideways glance. You didn't think that you had known these people well enough.
Still, you watched as Morales broke through the group of people there and started to make his way over to you. He was smiling warmly and offering his hand to you, "Thank you for your help." You hesitated before nodding and slowly extending your hand as well, giving it a firm shake.
He backed away after that, going over to Glenn and giving him the same exchange. Daryl was still shaking his head, even to the point of refusing Morales' handshake when he offered it to him. Morales even looked a bit hurt as he walked back to his family.
You still had your eyes on Daryl, scowling as he looked back at you. He looked away after that, pacing around aimlessly.
His complete insensitivity to anything, even his own group members, made you dislike him all the more. He only seemed to be the least bit kind to you and on rare occasion. He barely even spoke to you.
Still, you brushed it off and watched sadly as Morales packed his family into the small car and pulled out of the camp, with the faint sound of the gravel crunching under his tires being the last thing that you would remember him by.
"Alright..." Shane started, looking around with a long moment of silence. "Let's get out of here." Even after that, there was another moment of pure stillness. Rick was the first to move.
He took Lori by the hand, along with Carl, and led them to one of the cars. You turned to Sophia and Carol, tilting your head to the RV.
"I'm going to go stay with Jim. I don't know what this is doing to him, and I have to help him go on as long as possible," you explained, to which they both nodded, smiling and hugging you before each of went to the different vehicles.
Glenn smiled at you as you came up to the RV, waiting as T-Dog and Andrea stepped into the car before them. Daryl was going in a truck, and Shane was bringing up the rear with his jeep.
Once you got into the RV, you went to the back, where Jacqui was already sitting. Jim was looking around, shook up about something. You looked over to Jacqui, your brow furrowing in questioning to what had happened.
"He just had one of them nightmares again," she explained, pressing a cool cloth to his head. You nodded in response before going over to Jim and kneeling down. "We're leaving now. I have to change your bandage too."
He nodded a bit, swallowing hard as he struggled to sit up. The woman beside you stood up before going out of the room, quietly closing the door behind her.
You took her place on the chair with your eye locked on Jim's bandage, which was overflowing with collected blood. He winced and groaned as he moved with drops of sweat streaming down his forehead. You could tell that his energy was almost completely drained.
There was a shutter as the RV started up, and Jim gasped in pain as it lurched forward into motion. He gripped the sides of the cot with his knuckles turning white as you slowly moved forward, reaching out.
"Alright. It's alright," you spoke in a soothing voice that you only used for talking to Sophia and Carol when they were upset, or any of the patients in the hospital when you went to watch with your mother.
Most of the people there, both patients and nurses, wanted you to be there. You weren't in the way or causing a ruckus. You helped.
Jim's breathing was still heavy, but he had calmed down. You slowly reached out and undid his bandage, unwrapping it slowly. He exclaimed in pain as you started to pull at the soiled part of the bandage, shaking his head.
"Nonono, that hurts," he said frantically, shutting his eyes tightly. "Jim, I have to. If-- When you recover from this, I don't want you to get sick from another blood infection," you explained calmly, keeping your eye contact strong with him.
Eventually, Jim nodded, and you continued with taking off the wrapping. He winced again and squirmed as you peeled back the bandage. Your eyes locked on the wound. It had gotten so much worse.
The skin around it was yellow and swollen with a kind of discolored blood oozing out of it. "Is it bad?" Jim asked you, making eye contact, "Be honest with me."
You looked back, trying to think of a response. You inhaled sharply as you stood up and walked over to the bandages, pulling out some of the last gauze and wrapping.
"Well," you started, turning back around, "How do you feel? Answer me that honestly." Stepping back over, you leaned over him, "Do you feel worse than before?"
Jim quickly nodded, closing his eyes, "Yeah..." You nodded in response, appreciating his cooperation. "Yes, Jim. It's getting worse, but when we get you to the CDC, we'll get you help."
Jim let a faint smile cross his lips, that quickly disappeared as the RV his a bump, throwing him up and down in the cot. He let out a scream of pain, unlike anything you had heard from him before.
In his distracted state, you sprung forward and started to wrap the wound, pressing the gauze to his torso as you did. Your hands worked quickly and smoothly, getting through it as efficiently as possible. You were done in a second and now worked on calming him down.
He was still groaning from the pain, and you brought a hand up to his forehead, pressing against it. "Shshsh..." You almost pulled your hand back from the burning heat that came from his forehead, but he seemed to start to calm down.
With your other free hand, you reached down and brought the cool cloth back up, pressing it to his head and continuing to shush him calmly. His chest rose and fell still, but you couldn't deny that there was fear rising in yours.
* * *
It had been a few hours, and Jim was only getting worse. Every little bump and he would yell out in pain.
You did all you could with the limited resources that you had in the room, but nothing seemed to be soothing him. But somewhere along the trip, something happened with the interior of the RV, and they had to stop. You couldn't tell if it was fortunate or not.
Jim was still groaning in pain, and you knew that you needed to tell Rick about it.
You were clutching one of Jim's hands tightly in yours as you leaned over the bed, trying to gain his attention. "I have to go. Rick; he has to know about you. Okay?"
You forced your voice to be calm, and you were glad when you saw Jim nod, dropping your hand softly as he leaned his head back. You walked out of the room, making a beeline for the RV as soon as you were out of Jim's sight. You leaned out the door, calling out. "Rick!"
The group was just huddled a little ways away at the front of the RV, and they all turned their focus to you.
Stepping out of the RV, you walked up to them, "It's Jim. He's... I don't think he can take much longer of this." You stated to Rick, who was looking back at you with worry.
There was a moment of silence before Rick nodded slowly, "Alright. I'll talk to him." You didn't move as Rick strode past you, hopping up into the RV.
Half of you wanted to follow him. To make sure that Jim wouldn't tell Rick what he was telling you. That he wouldn't make it. But, you made the choice to stay.
Whatever choice he made was his choice, not yours, and if he wanted to be put out of his misery one way or another, you had no right to protest against it. All you could do was wait in silence.
You jumped a bit when Carol came up to you and touched your arm. You turned to her, bending your head down as she gave you a soft kiss on your forehead. All you could do was stand there and wait for what would happen to your friend.
It didn't take too long for Rick to exit the RV, one hand on his hip and one over his mouth. All eyes turned to him, waiting for his explanation of what was going to be of the mechanic.
After another moment, Rick lowered his hand, "He wants to stay here. He says he wants to... To be with his family."
That was the request that you feared. You looked up at Rick, narrowing your eyes, "And he's lucid?" Rick looked down, fiddling with his hands a bit, "He seems to be. I would say yes."
Shane, who was standing next Rick shook his head, "Leaving a man behind? Man, I'm not sure I could live with that."
You turned your gaze to Shane, shaking your head and taking a long breath, forcing your voice to remain level, "It's not your choice. Either one of you... If this is what he wants..."
You paused, shutting your eyes tightly before opening them again and staring back at Shane and Rick, "If he wants to be with his family, then let him. Let him die the way he wants to. That's something not many people in this world can do anymore."
Silence engulfed the group once more. All of them looked at you, but you didn't falter your gaze.
You stared at Rick, silently asking him to allow Jim this. You wouldn't and hadn't been pleading anything for yourself ever since this started, and hadn't much before, but now, this was different.
You were Jim's friend. He was your only friend here out of the new people. You wanted his last moments on this cruel earth to be spent the way that he wanted, so you pleaded his case. "Alright," Rick said, looking over to Shane. "Let's go get him."
Moving Jim out of the back room was difficult, and getting him out of the RV was just as bad, but once they got him outside, the only hard part was coping with the fact that you were going to lose your friend.
Shane and Rick led him over across the road and up to a tree, leaning him against it as gently as possible.
"Hey," Jim said quietly through shaky breaths, "Another damn tree." He chuckled weakly to himself, looking over to Shane as he bent down to talk to him. You were too far away to hear the conversation and watched as Rick and Jacqui soon followed after the former police officer.
As soon as Dale went up, you stepped forward. Jim's exchange with Dale was quick, and Dale didn't say much as he walked away.
When Dale moved away, Jim's eyes moved up to yours. He smiled weakly as you stepped forward, kneeling down again. He reached out to you, and you took his hand gently in yours. He pulled it towards him, planting a soft kiss on the back of it and holding it to himself after.
He looked back at you calmly with his semi-glazed over eyes, smiling despite his wound and pain. You looked down, closing your eyes and choking out something you hated to say. "Jim, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't do m--"
He cut you off before you could finish, gripping your hand even tighter. "Hey, look at me," he said quietly You hesitantly looked up, meeting Jim's gaze again. He was still smiling at you.
"Don't you be sorry about me. I'm okay. You just promise me to be strong. For your aunt and Sophia," Jim said softly, slowly letting your hand go. You nodded slowly, pulling your hand away as he closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the tree.
You straightened up again, turning around and slowly walking back down to the RV in silence. You tried to keep your mind off of the fact that you were leaving your friend behind there, and you barely turned your gaze when a hand rested on your shoulder.
Glenn had caught up with you and was now walking alongside you now silently. In a way, it helped you. It helped to know that you still had friends in this group and that they still cared.
Both of you stepped into the RV together, and both took the large seat, side by side, in the front. It was a little while before you broke the silence.
"I guess it's my own fault. I tend to do something most nurses and doctors aren't really supposed to do; get attached to the people I'm caring for."
Shrugging, you continued, "There is always the chance that they won't pull through..." Glenn tightened his grip on your shoulder, "Hey... Jim would thank you. For your care, for you defending him. This is what he wanted."
You closed your eyes, barely noticing as the rest of the group filed into the RV and when Dale started up the RV again. Glenn stood up, moving back to go sit with T-Dog.
You gazed out the window, not wanting to think about the dying man that you had cared for and the fact that he was getting farther and farther away from you. Still, despite your attempts to keep your mind off of him, you caught his glimpse in the rear-view mirror.
His head had sunk down and was resting on his chest, and you couldn't see if it was rising and falling or not anymore.
A gaping hole opened in yours, and you leaned your head back, closing your eyes as you felt every little bump in the road as the RV went on and away from Jim.
You knew that you had to learn still to let go. The CDC could be a new start, and you knew that Jim would want you to move on from losing him. You knew that he would want you to be happy.
Chapter 10: Gears
Chapter Text
The rest trip was silent for you. All you could do was sit and stare out the window at the trees and road whirring past.
Dale had been talking to you, but you gave no sign that you had been listening. You were in the process of making yourself let go. You knew that there would be more patients that you would have to treat and that you would have to let go eventually.
Your hand gripped the handle of your sword, pulling it out of its slot in your belt and placing it over your lap. Dale gave you a worried glance from the side but said nothing.
You took a sharp inhale, turning over your shoulder and speaking for the first time in three hours, "Any of you got a rag or something?"
T-Dog looked at you for a while before leaning forward and handing you a small cloth. You took it silently and carefully ran it over your blade, cleaning away the dried, dead flesh that stuck to the metal.
"Where'd you get good at a sword?" You didn't turn back to T-Dog as he asked that, only answering after you had made sure that everything was cleaned away from your weapon, "High school. I was on the fencing team."
Sliding your sword back into your belt, you leaned back and handed the cloth to T-Dog again. "And where'd you get the medical stuff? You study that in school too?" T-Dog asked, taking the washcloth back.
"No," you replied bluntly, keeping your body turned to the bigger man, "I learned from my mother, way before any of this."
You shrugged, looking up at the wall, "I only know the basics, like how to stitch someone up. Disinfecting a wound. I know the open wound stuff, but almost nothing about how to treat a sickness."
Glenn nodded, keeping his eyes on the ground. You turned to Glenn, standing up and walking over to him, "Let's see that shoulder again. I want to know how it's healing up."
Obediently, Glenn pulled down the shoulder of his shirt to reveal a scabbed over wound. You examined it carefully, backing away after a quick minute. "Looks fine, just don't pick it and it should stay that way."
Glenn let his shirt slide back over his shoulder, nodding. "You're pretty useful. You know that, [Y/N]?" You turned as you heard Dale ask that, staying quiet.
"You fight well. You're pretty much our only doctor," he turned around for a moment, meeting your gaze, "I'm glad you're staying with us."
You nodded slowly, leaning against the wall of the RV again and looking down at the floor. You had your arms crossed over your chest.
"Hell," T-Dog said with a laugh, "I think we all are. Even Daryl seems to not hate you being here with us." You looked up at T-Dog raising your eyebrows, "I don't think we see eye-to-eye on that statement."
Glenn turned around, shaking his head, "No, really. I've never seen him act that way to a new arrival. Not even Rick. You saw how he reacted when he first met him."
You looked to your right and out the large window of the RV, your mind going to the redneck once more. There was something about him. He wasn't exactly a friend to you, but you both seemed to share a mutual respect for each other.
"We respect each other, and we respect each other's distance," you stated bluntly. Glenn and T-Dog didn't say anything else after that and went back to quietly looking at a map. Your mind still remained on Daryl in your silence.
The way he spoke to you last night still confused you. It was different from the other times that he had spoken to you, or to anybody matter of fact. You blinked, brushing the exchange off.
The squeaking of brakes made you straighten up and look out the window. A large, metal building towered over the rest of the destructed buildings around the area.
Dead bodies were strewn everywhere, piling on top of each other, with blankets of flies covering them as well. Dale turned around, looking back at the people in the RV, "We're here."
Stepping out of the RV, you met the rest of the group, who had already gotten out of their cars. From the second you opened the door, the smell hit you like a brick wall, but the sight was even more unsettling.
You had drawn your sword even before you stepped out of the RV, and had instantly looked for your family members. They were blocking their noses as best they could with their shirts and looked back at you in pure fear.
Everyone in the group, except for most of the women and children, had their weapons drawn. You looked at Shane, who was looking at Rick. "Alright. Stay quiet, and let's move," Rick whispered, beckoning the group along. All of them followed him, and you decided to take the rear.
Daryl met you there. You both looked at each other for a while with hard, blank expressions as you fell in line next to the other. You both were on your guard for the group, and you knew if anything came up as a threat, you and he were the only ones who could kill that threat silently.
Daryl had his crossbow raised as the whole group walked past the piles of decaying corpses, and you had your sword gripped tightly in your hand. Crows pecked and peeled off the dead meat from the bones of the people who lay around you, and it disgusted you to watch.
Rick beckoned to the group faster as he took the lead, quietly whispering, "Alright, keep movin'. Stay together." You jogged along from behind, weaving through the bodies that lay on the ground and trying to stay quiet.
The tension in the air was so thick, you could cut it with your sword. The fear was even more prominent. You swore you could have smelled it over the decaying bodies.
The group was quietly chattering as you passed a large tank. You paused a bit as you stared at the bottom of the large weapon. The wheels were covered with blood. These people weren't using the tank to protect these civilians. They were using it to run over them.
"Hey, snap out of it," a quiet whisper came from behind you as something nudged your arm. You turned to see Daryl, prodding you with his elbow and beckoning you on, tilting his head, "Let's go."
Without another word, you jogged behind the taller man who had a shotgun in one hand and his crossbow the other. Rick and the others were already at the doors, which had been shut. You and Daryl stationed yourselves behind them, looking around with your weapons in your hands.
You heard your aunt crying out as Rick and Shane slammed against the metal doors. A swelling hole appeared in your gut again. There's nothing here. You snapped out of your small trance as you caught the familiar sound of growling coming from your left.
"Walkers!" You yelled over your shoulder as you rushed over to the walking corpse, raising your blade and driving it through its half-intact skull.
The arguing behind you increased. Lori and Shane were yelling about Fort Benning and that there was nothing there for them. Rick continued to bang on the door. More walkers were coming.
"We can't stay here!" Someone screamed. You were about to run over and do the same to that walker before you watched as Daryl expertly fired the crossbow. Nice shot, you thought in your head. You couldn't find the time to praise him before you heard more and more growling.
"Guys!" You yelled back as Shane was forcing Rick back and away from the door. You didn't have time. Splitting away from the group, you went alone to take on a few walkers. Your blade sliced easily through one of the skulls as it fell to the ground.
You backed up, knocking into someone behind you. You jumped and spun around, looking up in shock as you saw what it was. It wasn't long before you relaxed again, recognizing Dixon.
This is the second time you've done that.
There was another walker behind him.
Acting quickly, you passed him and stuck your sword out, piercing the skull of the predator.
Daryl did the same. He shot out at the remaining walker behind you, watching as it fell to the ground. You both backed away towards the group, side by side. Rick still didn't leave, and Shane had to pull him away again. "It's just gears, man! This place is DEAD! We have to go!"
You didn't pay attention any more as Daryl dropped his crossbow, which had no more ammo left, and raised his shotgun.
"IF YOU DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR, YOU'RE KILLING US!" Rick was still yelling. If all of that yelling didn't alert every single walker in the city, that gunshot from the shotgun would.
The familiar sound of your heartbeat returned to your ears as you looked back at your family, the group, and then Daryl. Rick was still crying out hysterically as everyone started to turn into a panic.
You closed your eyes, forcing yourself not to go into a panic and stay strong, but now, all hope was lost. There were walkers everywhere, and the group had nowhere to go.
A horrid screeching of metal reached your ears as you turned. A blinding light stung your eyes as a white glow spilled out onto your fellow group, making them all freeze in their tracks as well.
The door had opened.
Everyone turned and just stared. No one moved a muscle as they all looked into what resembled a heavenly light. Hell, you all might have died just there, because it seemed too goof to be true.
Finally, Rick broke the silence between all of you, and at a good time too.
"Daryl! [Y/N]! Cover the back," Rick demanded as the group frantically ran into the large, silver building. You backed up slowly, keeping your eyes on the walkers that were hobbling their way towards you, "Watch the walkers."
You shouted to Daryl, who raised his gun a bit, but decided otherwise than to shoot them. They were too far away, and the gunshot would only attract more.
"Close those doors!" Dale yelled, and the only thing that stopped you from it was when you heard the sound of a gun cocking.
Both of you whipped around, looking at a figure off in the darkness of the hallway. You couldn't see him clearly, but you knew he had a gun. Rick also saw him and had his gaze locked on him.
There was a moment of tense silence before a voice came from the darkness of that hallway, "Anybody infected?"
You and the group waited patiently for a response from your leader. "One of us was," he started, and you turned away, looking out the doors again, closing your eyes for a moment before listening to the rest. "He didn't make it."
Another longer silence gripped the group as the figure in the darkness stepped out. He was tall with neatly cut, fine hair. He wasn't necessarily attractive and looked to be in his early forties. He was scanning around the group, and you saw his eyes land on Carl and Sophia, along with your aunt.
"Why are you here? What do you want?" Rick started to lower his gun a bit, causing Glenn to do the same with his. "A chance."
The man scoffed a bit before replying, "That's asking an awful lot these days." Rick nodded, "I know."
Your focus was still on the walkers as they grew closer and closer, and you shifted uneasily on your feet.
"You all submit to a blood test, that's the price of admission," the man finally said. You felt the entire group's relief, along with yours. "We can do that," Rick quickly answered.
The strange man dropped the gun down, pointing at the entirety of you, "You got stuff to bring in, do it now. Once this door closes it stays closed." You felt uneasy about that last part for a moment, but it was protection, and any protection for your family, you would take.
Rick nodded, turning around. You did the same. Glenn, you, Daryl, and T-Dog ran out to the cars to get your bags. "I got yours," Glenn said, looking back at you, "You cover us."
Pausing in your tracks, you nodded. A few more walkers were starting to make their way towards the small group that went to retrieve the supplies, and you split off to go take care of them.
It was easy to knock them off one by one, and you had finished before they had come back. While standing there, your eyes caught something on the ground.
One of Daryl's arrows was sticking out of one of the walker's heads. Bending down, you pulled it out and went to go retrieve more.
By the time that the others had gotten out of the vehicles, you had collected five arrows that the redneck had fired. You got back with the group and ran inside, starting to look around your hopefully new haven.
T-Dog and Dale closed the doors behind you quickly, turning back to the others once they did. "VI, seal the main entrance. Kill the power up here," the stranger said as he spoke into some kind of security system.
A keypad lit up green as the shutters came back down, slamming home. "Rick Grimes," your leader introduced himself, waiting for one in return from the stranger. "Doctor Edward Jenner."
There was another silence before Edward looked around at the group again before walking past all of them, "Follow me." Everyone stayed in place for a moment before Rick started off and the rest of the group followed eventually.
He led all of you to an elevator, and all of you filed in slowly. You squeezed in behind Sophia and Carol, and Glenn slid in next to you. On the other side of you, Daryl took his place. You were still holding the arrows in your hand.
The elevator was extremely crowded as the people around you made room for Jenner, keeping your distance away from him. Slowly and awkwardly, you raised your hand up, trying not to push anyone.
"Here," you said quietly as the elevator started to hum as it traveled down. Daryl looked over at you, then down at the arrows in your hand.
Silently, he took them out of your hands and put his hand back down. Your eyes went back to the doctor operating the elevator as the group fell into an uncomfortable silence. You shifted your weight, placing your hand on Sophia's small shoulder instead of back down to your side.
"Doctors always go around packing heat like that?" Daryl's voice broke the silence, and Jenner turned to him with a somewhat amused smile, "There was plenty left lying around, I familiarized myself." He responded quickly before scanning over the group again. "But you look harmless enough."
His eyes landed on Carl and his soft smile grew a bit, "Except you. I'm going to have to keep my eye on you." Carl smiled softly back, looking at his parents then back to Jenner.
The doctor turned around again, chuckling to himself. The group fell silent again, and it was silent for the rest of the ride down. You turned your eyes up to the ceiling, shifting your weight as much as you could in the small space around you.
You saw your reflection in the shine of the metal and took note of how dirty you had gotten. You couldn't remember the last time you took a real shower with running water instead of just bathing in the lake.
The elevator stopped, and the doors opened. Everyone filed out again and started to follow Jenner.
The hallway that he was leading you down was long and narrow. It looked like working quarters, but it didn't look to you like anyone was still working. You brought up the rear again, following behind Carol and Sophia.
Everyone looked around, and your aunt seemed a bit uneasy. "Are we underground?" She asked, looking forward at Jenner. He turned, still walking, "You claustrophobic?" Your aunt shrugged, looking around still, "A little."
Turning back around, Jenner replied, "Try not to think about it." The group walked on, and you could see a large door, leading to an even larger room.
As soon as Jenner entered, he raised his voice and started speaking, "VI, bring up the lights in the big room."
Everyone stopped in their tracks as a large ring of lights lit up, illuminating the cubicles in the center.
Jenner started walking down a metal platform, leaving your group in their place, "Welcome to Zone five." Rick started after him, and the rest followed, "Where is everybody? The other doctors? The staff?"
Once Jenner got to the center of the cluster of cubicles, he turned around, gesturing out with his arms, "I'm it. It's just me here."
Everyone started to make their way down the platform as well, looking around and taking in the sight. "What about that person you were speaking with?" Lori asked, "VI?"
Jenner smiled weakly, turning around and raising his voice, "VI, say hello to our guests. Tell them... Welcome." You looked at him, furrowing your brow before hearing a voice coming over the loudspeaker.
"Hello, Guests. Welcome."
You realized it was just the computer system, activated by his voice. "I'm all that's left," Jenner said, looking at the group. You stared back, unable to keep your shoulders from dropping a bit. "I'm sorry."
* * *
Later, you all were taken for a blood test. Following Carol and Sophia, you sat down in the chair next to Jenner. He worked quickly and silently, pushing the needle through your skin and drawing the blood out.
You sat there silently, forcing your eyes to stay open as to not fall asleep or faint. Most of your group was also struggling to stay awake. There wasn't much to take place for the blood that you lost. None of you had eaten for a while.
"There we go," Jenner said, putting your blood in a small container. You leaned back in your chair a bit, looking around at the group for a while and waiting for your feedback on your blood.
"Huh, you should be useful," Jenner said with a small chuckle. He turned to you, "Your blood type is O negative. The universal donor." You nodded. You had donated blood ever since high school and had known your blood type for a while.
After another moment, Jenner leaned back, "Alright, you're clear."
Standing up, you tried your hardest to keep your balance, swaying a bit as you walked. You leaned against the wall, holding yourself still.
Sophia was stretched out over some of the chairs with her head on Carol's lap. Carl was out like a light as well with Lori. Daryl, T-Dog, and Glenn had already gotten their blood drawn, and were all leaning against the walls.
Shane and Rick had also gotten theirs, along with Dale and Jacqui. The last person to get checked was Andrea. She was sitting in the chair, asking Jenner some questions which he responded quickly to.
Jacqui was sitting near them and had to help Andrea a bit when she got out of the chair. Jenner looked over to Jacqui in concern.
"She hasn't eaten in days," she explained, "None of us have." Jenner seemed to consider this before standing up, looking around the group.
"Well then," he started, smiling, "We'd better change that."
* * *
That night, there was a feast. Jenner had prepared a meal for all of the group and brought out bottles of wine. You couldn't overstate how happy you were to see those bottles.
By the end of dinner, everyone was laughing hysterically at something. You were standing next to Daryl, sharing a bottle of wine between the both of you.
Carol and Sophia looked happy, as did the rest of the group. All, except for Jenner, who was sitting quietly at the head of the table. You didn't bother with him much though.
Raising the wine glass you had to your lips, you took a swig, smiling as the bitter-sweet liquid slid down your throat, giving you a strong buzz as it hit your stomach.
Glenn was sitting across the room with a bottle of wine hanging in his hands between his legs as he laughed at the people around him.
The group was sent into hysterics as they watched Carl try a bit of wine. "Ew!" He set the glass back down, and you laughed again, along with the group.
Lazily, Daryl rested his arm on one of your shoulders, leaning on you. You looked over at him, smiling widely. You could smell the alcohol on his breath as he laughed. He took another long swig out of the bottle in his hand that you were sharing.
The smell mixed with his normal musky sent nicely, and you didn't pull away from the arm on your shoulder.
"Yeah, just stick to soda pop there, bud," Shane said, chuckling lightly. "Not you, Glenn," Daryl started, pointing over at the man across the table while still leaning on you. He looked up, gazing around and confused, "What?"
Daryl took his arm off of you and you watched him, smiling as he leaned over the table a bit to grab another bottle, "Keep drinking, little man. I wanna see how red your face can get."
You laughed, gaining Daryl's attention as he stepped back to you. He poured some more wine into your glass, and you gazed back at him, almost fondly.
"How red his face can get?" T-Dog started with a bit of a mischievous smile on his face as he looked at Daryl. "You should see yours. Maybe you should step away from [Y/N] a bit," he joked, making the rest of the group laugh.
You looked over at Daryl as he looked back at you. Both of you looked each other up and down before stepping back slightly simultaneously. That made the group laugh even harder.
You looked back at them, chuckling lightly. Daryl scowled briefly, shaking his head and drinking from the bottle again.
The clinking of a glass caught everyone's attention, and the laughter slowly died away as Rick stood up.
"It seems to me that we haven't thanked our host properly," Rick stated, to which T-Dog followed. "He is more than just our host." Everyone murmured in agreement, raising their glasses. "Hear!" Dale exclaimed.
"Here's to you, Doc," you said, raising your glass. "Booyah!" Daryl yelled, raising the bottle up.
Everyone soon followed with the toast. You turned to Daryl, touching your glass to the bottle in his hand. "Booyah," you said, smiling at him as he grinned back, drunkenly.
Shane lowered his glass, leaning on the table with his elbow, "So, when are you gonna tell us what the hell happened here, Doc?"
The group fell into silence again. You leaned back on the table with Daryl beside you, still holding your glass in your hand.
"All the, uh-- other doctors. That's what we're supposed to be figuring out; what happened. Where are they?"
There was a short silence before Rick spoke up, "We're celebrating, Shane. Don't need to do this now." Shane looked up, setting his glass on the table, "Whoa, wait a second. This is why we're here, right?"
He shrugged, gesturing to Rick, "This was your move. We're supposed to, uh-- find all the answers." Shane chuckled softly, "Instead, we found... Him." He cocked a thumb over to Jenner.
"We found one man," he said, "Why?" Jenner looked down before replying, "Well, when things got bad, a lot of people just... Left. Went to be with there families."
The smile melted away from your face as the air in the room took a more serious tone. "Then, when things got worse," Jenner continued, "When the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted."
Jenner nodded slowly, and Shane followed up, "Every last one?" Jenner shook his head now, "No. Many couldn't face walking out that door. They... opted out. There was a rash of suicides." Jenner went back to looking at his food, "That was a bad time."
There was a long silence before Andrea looked up to Jenner from her plate, "You didn't leave. Why?" Jenner looked back up, "I just kept working. Hoping to do some good." He nodded, looking down as the room became silent again.
The happiness and excitement in the air disappeared and you looked down at the ground.
"Dude, you are such a buzzkill, man," Glenn said as he got up off of the counter and walked around the table to you.
* * *
"Most of the facility is powered down." After finishing dinner, Jenner led you and the group down to where he told you that you would be staying. You were walking through the hallway, passing the rooms of the living chambers.
"Including housing, so you'll have to make do here," he explained. You were just happy that you might actually be sleeping in a normal bed tonight.
"The couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you'd like. There's a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy, just don't plug in any of the video games, okay?"
He turned, bending down. "Don't use anything that draws power." He straightened up, gesturing to the rest of you, "Same goes for you. If you shower, go easy on the hot water."
You blinked, looking over at T-Dog and Glenn, who both looked excited. "Hot water?" Glenn asked, to which T-Dog replied with a smile. "That's what the man said."
Glenn chuckled, and T-Dog ran off with Glenn following. You stayed back, catching up with Carol and Sophia.
Bending down, you smiled at Sophia. "How 'bout you go an pick out a room for the three of us? Then you and Carl can go and play as much as you want in the rec room," you proposed, to which Sophia looked delighted.
"I'll go with her," Carol said, smiling at you. You nodded, giving Carol your bag when she reached out for it. She gave you another kiss on the forehead as she walked past you. You looked after then, moving out of the way when Rick and Lori stepped past you, followed by Carl.
The rest of the group followed behind him. Eventually, you were left in the hallway. Only with Daryl.
You were looking down at the ground, only looking up when you heard Daryl approach you. "You good?" After a moment, you nodded. "Yeah, Just..." You cut yourself off, nodding still, "Yeah."
He nodded back once, tilting his head to signal that he wanted you to come with him. You got up from leaning on the wall. You wanted Jim to be here. You wished he could have been. Daryl got to a room, looking in and opening his bag.
"I'm heading to the showers," you said, looking down at him. He nodded before you began laughing at yourself, "I've gotta go find Carol and Sophia again before I do. They've got my bag of clothes." You turned around before Daryl called out to you, "Hey."
Turning back around, you raised an eyebrow. He threw something at you, and you caught it in your hands. He had thrown you a large shirt he had packed, but you had never seen him wear them.
Looking up, you gave him a crooked smile, "Thanks." Daryl picked out some clothes and nodded to you before passing you in the hallway. You followed him down, looking around.
Even though your eyes were elsewhere, your mind was on Daryl. He was getting even friendlier to you, but you supposed you could credit most of that to the alcohol and the fact that the group had found shelter.
Still, it was nice to put your disagreements aside.
You walked with Daryl up to the showers. There was a men's and woman's locker room, and you split up to go into one.
Daryl mumbled something about going to find more booze and turned down the hallway. You had his clothes tucked under your arm as you walked past the occupied showers to an open one.
Setting the borrowed clothes on a bench, you pulled off your own dirty shirt to throw into a pile. You followed with the rest of your clothes before stepping and pulling the curtain closed behind you.
You put your hand on the knob with the little red mark, turning it. Half of you expected the water to be cold when it hit you, but when the warm shower started, you chuckled to yourself. You could not remember the last time you had felt this good.
Deciding you wanted to save some hot water, you brought your dirty clothes into the shower with you, soaking them.
Dirt fell off of them and ran down the drain, and once you rung them out, you threw them back out. After you had finished that, you started to wash with the toiletries already in the shower.
Reluctantly, you turned the knob back off after you had rinsed, treasuring the last spurt of water before it stopped. The air around you was fairly warm, so you weren't hit with any cold air. As you stepped out, you caught sight of some towels folded neatly in a pile.
You took one of the towels from the top and wrapped your hair in it. You took another to dry your body off. A smile spread across your lips as you took a breath in, smelling the sweet fragrance of the body wash and not feeling like you were completely covered in dirt.
Something like this almost seemed too good to be true, but if this was a dream, you weren't going to pinch yourself to wake up anytime soon.
After you dried off, you rung out your bra and underwear as much as you could, until they were only slightly damp. After you had put them on, you picked up the shirt Daryl had loaned to you.
It was one of his normal, button-up shirts with the sleeves ripped off. It looked pretty big but comfy. It was long enough to cover your bottom half until you could get to your room and grab some actual pants.
As you held it in your hands, you could smell his familiar musky sent on them. You couldn't describe it, but it definitely wasn't unpleasing.
Before you knew what you were doing, you lifted the shirt up, closer to your face. You buried your nose into the soft fabric, closing your eyes as a bit, inhaling deeply.
A moment went by before your eyes shot open and you pulled the shirt away from your nose.
What the fuck, [Y/N]?
You shook your head, making a mental note that you should lay off the wine a bit.
Not even bothering to unbutton it, you slipped the shirt over your head. You were right; it was big on you. The end of the shirt covered your underwear and went down to your mid thighs.
Grabbing your damp clothes, you stepped out of the shower and into the locker room. Rick and Lori were out there, dressing each other up and sharing kisses every once in a while as they did. You quietly walked past them, slowing near one of the showers.
They were still in there, whoever it was, and they were taking a cold shower. You knew that because there was no steam coming from it. Quiet sobbing from inside provided you a conclusion to who it was.
Andrea had been in there for a while, but you didn't want to bother her any. Besides, you needed to find Carol and Sophia.
Stepping out of the showers, you started to make your way towards the rec room, where you already heard giggling from Sophia and Carol.
Your bare feet hit the ground silently, and Carol looked up only when you stepped into the room. You smiled down at the two children sitting on opposite sides of the table, chuckling at Carl when he grudgingly kinged one of Sophia's checker pieces.
She giggled, looking up at you. "Hey, Filly," you said, walking over to the couch. You had given Sophia that nickname a long time ago. You thought Sophie was too obvious, and Sophia loved horses, so you decided to call her Filly.
She chuckled before turning back to the game on the table. You looked over at Carol, who was looking you up and down with a furrowed brow and a smile, "Where'd you get that?" You walked past her, seeing a towel rack near a bathroom on the other side of the room.
"Daryl," you said, casually, knowing that she was talking about the clothes. You turned around after you hung up your clothes and slid on a pair of your own shorts.
Carol was laughing quietly on the couch, and you smiled back, "Yes, I know it's way too big for me." Carol shook her head after that bit, chuckling still, "No, you don't look half bad. I just think that's sweet."
You rolled your eyes a bit, smiling still, "Stop it." You walked over to the couch, "What room are we staying in?" Carol turned back to Sophia and Carl as she answered you, "Room one hundred two." You nodded, walking past her and kissing the top of her head softly as you did.
You walked out of the rec room and down the hallway, turning down another hallway towards the rooms. "[Y/N]!"
A drunken shout came from one of the rooms that made you stop in your tracks. You leaned back, looking into the room to see Glenn sprawled out on a couch, pointing at you and barely able to keep his arm up. "Eh, come on in!" T-Dog was also sitting in the room in a chair across from him with one of his hand over his face.
Quietly, you walked in, putting your hands on your hips, "So this is drunk Glenn?" T-Dog nodded slowly, dropping the hand from his face.
"Yeah, this is why we don't let him drink too much. Well, except for tonight," he explained with a chuckle.
He turned around to you, his brow furrowing as he looked at you. His eyes ran up and down you, but not in any suggestive way. More so confused.
"Are you wearing Dixon's clothes?" You plopped down on another chair, examining your nails casually, "Yeah, he let me borrow them. Where is he by the way?"
You dropped your hand into your lap, looking over at T-Dog. He shrugged, "I think he's going to get some more drinks." Glenn raised a fist up lazily in the air before plopping it back down on the couch. You nodded, looking back at your hands.
A soft chuckling came from the man across the room. You looked up to T-Dog, trying to find out what he was laughing at. He was looking at you as he spoke, "So what happened to the strict 'mutual respect' for Daryl? What changed?"
Rolling your eyes, you looked back down at your nails, "Nothing changed. He just didn't want me walking around with nothing on is all."
Looking back up, you shrugged. Before T-Dog could say anything else, you heard heavy footsteps coming down the hallway and to the room. Your eyes went to the doorway just before a familiar figure stepped in.
He walked to the center of the room, setting the bottle he had in his hand on the coffee table before going and sitting in another chair.
"Thanks, Dixon," T-Dog said, leaning forward and pouring the contents of the bottle into a small glass. Daryl nodded and hummed as he played with one of his arrows.
Your eyes rested on the redneck across the room, looking away quickly when he looked up at you. A soft laughing came from him, and it made you turn back to him and raise an eyebrow.
"That was my smallest shirt," Daryl said through chuckles, to which you smiled and rolled your eyes. T-Dog was laughing as well.
That little joke sent off a whole string of playful insults from the three of you, each one after the other. Slowly, you started to fall deeper and deeper into intoxication.
By the next twenty minutes, everyone, besides Glenn, was laughing their ass off. Glenn had passed out.
"Alright," Daryl said, standing up and swaying as he did. He pointed to the man who had passed out of the couch and then the door, "Get Chinatown outta my room."
You and T-Dog got up, but T-Dog was quick to brush you off, "I got him." You stopped in your place and nodded, sitting down.
You watched as T-Dog slung one arm over the much smaller man, hoisting him up. His feet dragged on the ground as T-Dog walked out of the room and down the hallway.
You sighed, standing back up, "I'd guess I'd better go, too." Daryl walked over to the couch, plopping down and kicking his feet up, "You don't have to. I just wanted Glenn outta here cause he all he does is bitch when he's hung over."
You turned and raised an eyebrow, "Really?" Daryl gave a half-hearted chuckle, nodding, "Yeah, first night I spent with the group, Merle and I had brought some moonshine. Glenn tried some and couldn't do nothing but complain the next day about how much his head hurt."
A quiet chuckle left your body, and you plopped back down into the chair across from the couch. It was quiet for a while before you looked up, a lazy smile still on your face, "We're even now." Daryl looked at you with a furrowed brow, silently asking you what you meant.
"You saved me from a walker," you started, smiling at him still, "And I saved you. We're even." Daryl dropped his hands down, raising his eyebrows, "Oh, it's a competition, now?" You chuckled softly as Daryl looked back at his arrow that he was still fiddling with, "Alright, it's on."
You shifted on the chair so that you were spread out over the arms, sitting sideways. You rested your head on the side of the chair, looking at one of the pictures on the wall as the pair of you sat in silence together.
You couldn't deny that it was good to be sitting there with Daryl and not have anything against each other. Maybe it was the fact that the group had found sanctuary. Maybe it was the alcohol. It probably was the alcohol.
But maybe there was one small chance that you and Daryl could put your conflicts aside and become friends. You slowly drifted off into unconsciousness with thoughts of Daryl and the group cycling in your head.
Chapter 11: Out for the Better
Chapter Text
"Get the fuck back upstairs and get outta my sight!"
"Okay, okay... I'm sorry..."
"Shut the fuck up and do what you're told!"
"Please... Don't yell too loud... She's trying to--"
"YOU DON'T TELL ME TO DO SHIT!"
Pain. You woke up with a start, panting heavily as you sat up in the chair you had fallen asleep in.
You looked around wildly, gripping the cushions tightly in your fists. Pain pulsed through your head. You groaned quietly, raising a hand up and rubbing your temple and shutting your eyes tightly.
Even if the room was dark, your eyes stung, and your head pounded. "Damn..." You whispered, shifting so that you were sitting on the chair normally. You were making sure to be quiet after hearing the soft snoring coming from the couch beside you. How did I get in Dixon's room?
Before you could answer that, your gaze landed on the bottle in the middle of the coffee table. That was as good of an answer as you were getting.
You couldn't seem to remember anything before you got into the room with T-Dog and Glenn. Then Daryl came in with more drinks. The very thought of alcohol made you want to hurl.
Quietly, you stepped over to the man on the couch. He was laying on his back and didn't look like he was getting up anytime soon. Your nursing instincts kicked in, and you reached down with your hand.
Softly, you pressed your hand to the man's forehead, checking for a fever. He was warm, but it was nothing concerning. He was breathing. You could tell that by the soft snoring that was coming from him. Overall, he seemed fine. Worst he would have was a hangover when he woke up.
After that, you straightened back up and bent down to pick up a glass from the table, not caring whose it was, and walked off to the bathroom. You opened and closed the door before flicking on the lights.
There was a mirror hanging above the sink, and you looked at yourself. At first, you didn't know what you were wearing, but it came to you quickly. He'd probably want his shirt back later. You turned on the tap, filling the glass up fully before taking a drink.
The cool water running down your throat was soothing. Much better than the drinks from last night.
After you finished the glass of water, you exhaled deeply, looking back in the mirror. For once, you looked civilized. You were clean, and your hair was kept back nicely. You looked normal. You didn't spend much time looking in the mirror before filling the glass back up.
Instead of downing it again, you turned the lights back off and walked out of the bathroom. The room was dark but navigable. Your eyes quickly saw the weapon on the ground near the chair. Your sword had slid out of your pocket in your sleep; that was your only guess.
As you walked past the couch, you paused and set the glass of water down, hoping Daryl would get the hint to drink it whenever he woke up. Following that, you walked over and bent down to get your sword. Sliding it back in its holster, you walked out of the room and closed the door behind you.
All the sleep you had gotten over the past few days was more than you normally got, and you could tell that you had woken up much earlier than the rest of the group.
You originally planned on going over to your own room and change, but Carol and Sophia were light sleepers, and it was better the more sleep that they got.
Instead, you decided to head off the cafeteria. The least you could do for the doctor was to make breakfast for the group and him.
You remembered which way the large room was, and started to walk down the long hallway. It didn't take you long to get there, and you saw someone behind the kitchen counter already.
"Hey," T-Dog said as he peered over, raising a hand up. You smiled, waving back and starting over there. "Couldn't sleep much either?" You asked, walking around the counter slowly. You watched as he started some powdered eggs in a skillet before looking at the pantry.
"Nah," he said, poking at them with a spatula. You hummed in response, taking down some spices to look at. "Oh, hey," T-Dog started, pulling down something with a smile.
"I pulled this down and let it thaw out," he said as he pushed a sealed packet towards you. "I just don't know how to make it," he finished.
You smiled, looking up at him, "Do you know how many houses I broke into before finding you guys looking for this?"
You held up the slab of bacon, making T-Dog chuckle. You smiled, turning to one of the open stove-tops. T-Dog handed you a skillet and some oil while you got some spices down.
"So, where were you," T-Dog asked, attempting to get a conversation going, "Before you met us?" You shrugged as you peeled back the plastic wrap and turned the stove top on, careful with your words, "Around. I really don't know how to explain it." He nodded, letting you continue.
Carefully, you laid one of the strips of meat, hearing it sizzle and pop, "I was looking for Sophia and Carol. I found my way into some woods, ran into Daryl, and he led me back here."
You turned to T-Dog, raising your eyebrows as you spoke, "The fact that he tried to kill me two times in the same day is the reason why we keep mutual respect."
T-Dog chuckled, raising his eyebrows, "You stayed in the room with him." You added another strip of bacon to the pan, "I was drunk."
The man beside you added some spice, shaking his head, "Nah, he wanted you to stay." You shrugged, adding some more, "He was drunk. Believe me, it's going to go straight back to respect from a distance when the alcohol runs out."
He shrugged in agreement. You had about eight strips in the pan and flipped them with ease. You and T-Do worked together, making conversation as you did.
"Somethin' smells great!" You looked over your shoulder as you heard Carl come into the room, followed by your aunt, your cousin, and Lori. All of them were still in their pajamas.
"It's about done," you yelled back. Lori winced, and you could expect she was hungover from the night before.
You went back to working on the bacon, sliding the cooked strips off and onto a plate before putting the rest of the packet into the pan. You continued working on the meal as more and more people entered the cafeteria and sat down at the table.
Glenn walked in there, imitating a walker whether on purpose or not. He sat down with his head in his hands, groaning as Jacqui rubbed his back.
You had just finished up and had started to hand out plates of bacon along with some toast that you had whipped up to do with it. You badgered everyone to keep drinking, and that it would help whoever was hungover.
Rick entered the room with bags under his eyes, giving you the closest thing he could muster to a smile, "Hello." You smiled back, walking back into the kitchen to go hang out with T-Dog a bit more.
By now, everyone except for Daryl, Shane, and Edward were in the cafeteria. "Eggs-- powered, but I make 'em good," T-Dog said as he walked around the counter to go serve them. Glenn moaned again, resting his head in his hand as he watched T-Dog walk around the table.
"Protein helps the hangover," T-Dog stated as he placed some on Glenn's plate. You chuckled as he looked up at you. "You get my stamp of approval," you joked, clapping quietly as his little medical tip.
"Where'd all this come from," Rick asked as he held a bottle of pills in his hand, examining the label. "Jenner, he thought we could use it," Lori explained as she took the bottle from her husband.
Lori looked up, smiling at Glenn, "Some of us at least." Jacqui was rubbing Glenn's shoulders as he just looked down at his food through half opened eyes, "Don't ever, ever, ever let me drink again."
You chuckled softly, turning your gaze when you heard someone else enter the room, "Hey." Shane walked past you, going to grab a serving of what had been made. "Feel as bad as I do?" Rick asked from across the room. Shane didn't even turn around as he replied, "Worse."
You slowly walked over to him, your small smile disappearing when you looked up at him. Your eyes focused on three large scratches on his neck. "What the hell happened to you?" You asked, narrowing your eyes.
He looked over at you before quickly ducking away and doing to sit down. Your gaze followed him, "Your neck."
The entirety of the group's attention was on Shane now, and he replied as casually as he could, "Must have done it in my sleep."
Rick furrowed his brow, "Never seen you do that before." Shane didn't meet his gaze as Rick looked up at him, "Me neither. Not like me at all." The group went silent as they continued to eat, but you kept your eyes on Shane.
The only time you looked way was when you heard Edward come into the room. He smiled weakly, "Morning." Everyone replied back quietly. Dale turned around in his chair when Edward passed him, leaning over the back.
"Doctor, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing--" Edward cut him off, pouring a glass of something, "But you will anyway." He turned around, rubbing his hands together. "We didn't come here for the eggs," Andrea added on, looking up at Edward.
He went silent, and you heard someone coming down the hallway. Your gaze turned as you watched the familiar man come down the hallway.
Your eyes caught Daryl's for a moment, and you smiled at him. He didn't return it. He only walked past you and grabbed a serving from the table.
"Get dressed and meet me back here," Edward said, looking around, "I'll explain what I can."
* * *
After you had changed out of the borrowed clothes and into your own, you went back to the cafeteria with Sophia.
Most of the group was already there, and they were only waiting for the three of you. Jenner smiled when he saw you guys come in before starting to walk off, "This way."
The group started to follow him, all in silence. You kept close to your family members, looking around the hallways that you were walking down. It didn't take you long to recognize it and to see the large room that you were walking towards.
There was absolutely no conversation as everyone followed Jenner, who didn't attempt to start any conversation either. The unsettling feeling came back and rested in the pit of your stomach, but you didn't know why.
All you could do was wait for the doctor to explain what he needed to. And all you could hope was that it wasn't any worse news than before.
All of the group entered the room and walked down the platform to the cluster of cubicles, filled with computers. Jenner walked over to a keypad, typing in some things that showed up on the huge screen. You looked up, leaning back on one of the small walls that surrounded the computers.
"Give me playback of TS-19," Jenner spoke into a microphone, straightening up and looking at the large screen afterward. Everyone else had woven their way through the computers and had their gaze locked onto the projector.
"Playback of TS-19."
As soon as the automated voice spoke, images of what looked to be some sort of x-ray loaded onto the screen before you.
"Few people ever got to see this. Very few," Jenner said as he stepped back, examining the people around him. As more and more of the image loaded in, the image of a brain became clear.
"Is that a brain?" Carl asked, looking over at the doctor beside him. Jenner turned over to him, smiling, "An extraordinary one." Jenner's smile melted away as he looked back at the screen, "Not that it matters in the end."
There was a short silence as Jenner typed in some more numbers into the keypad, "Take us in for the EIV." The camera zoomed in, showing even more of the brain.
"Enhanced Internal View."
Everyone went completely silent as the camera entered the brain. Eventually, the screen was covered in little lights that were darting across the screen. "What are those lights?" Shane asked from across the room.
Jenner turned around, pointing back at the screen, "It's a person's life. Experiences, memories. It's everything." You turned your gaze to him, taking your eyes off of the screen. He turned around, looking back at the light show.
"Somewhere, in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is you. The thing that makes you human."
Daryl shifted his weight next to you, straightening up and off of the wall on the cubical, "You don't make sense? Ever?"
Jenner turned to him, smiling softly and still pointing at the screen, "Those are synapses, electrical impulses in the brain that carry all the messages." You looked back up at the screen as Jenner continued talking and explaining what the projector was showing.
"They determine everything a person says, does, or thinks from the moment of birth... To the moment of death," Jenner said, looking down after saying that, Your brow furrowed as you looked over at him.
"Death?" Rick asked, stepping forward, "That's what this is? A vigil?" Jenner was now looking back up at the screen, and didn't take his eyes off of it when he bluntly answered, "Yes."
He turned slightly, looking over at Rick, "Or rather the playback of the vigil." Rick looked back up at the screen as Andrea started to step forward slowly, "This person died? Who..?"
You clutched Sophia's shoulder tightly, bringing her closer to you by instinct as Jenner answered. "Test subject 19. Someone who was bitten and infected... And... Volunteered to have us record the process."
Jenner concluded, looking around. There was a soft silence as you looked down at your cousin, bringing her closer still. "VI, scan forward to the first event," Jenner spoke, shifting his weight as the view of the camera changed and the process fast forwarded.
"Scanning to first event."
When the loading screen vanished off, a black mass started to spread through the synapses, killing off the little lights one by one.
"What is that?" Glenn asked from the back of the room, making Jenner turn around to him, "It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands hemorrhage. The brain goes into shut down, then the major organs."
You watched as the figure on the projector tossed around, its breath becoming ragged. Eventually, it took one final breath and stopped moving altogether as the brain went dark. "Then death."
"Everything you ever were or ever will be... Gone," Jenner concluded. Sophia turned around, looking up at you as she quietly spoke to you, "Is that what happened to Jim?"
Sophia turned around, looking up at you as she quietly spoke to you, "Is that what happened to Jim?"
You couldn't deny that hearing that from her stung a bit. Still, you answered her calmly and quickly, "Yes."
Sophia turned back around, and you looked away from her. When you did, you caught Daryl looking at you. Like usual, he looked away quickly. Even if you were hurting, you never showed it in your expression.
A soft cry came from across the room, and Jenner's attention turned to Andrea. Lori sighed, explaining what happened for her, "She lost someone a few days ago. Her sister..." Jenner slowly walked up to Andrea, nodding, "I lost someone too, I know how devastating it is."
Andrea looked up, teary-eyed. Jenner looked down before turning back around towards the screen again, "Scan to the second event."
The voice came over the loudspeaker as the images sped up again.
"Scanning to second event."
The attention of the group turned back to the screen, awaiting the next explanation. "The resurrection times vary wildly. We have reports of it happening in as little as three minutes," Jenner said. "The longest we heard of was eight hours."
Part of you began to sting again. It made you think of leaving Jim on that highway.
"In the case of this patient it was two hours... One minute... Seven seconds..." You watched in wonder and confusion as a cluster of little red lights started to make their way through the brain, but not as widespread as the last blue lights.
"It restarts the brain?" Lori asked. Jenner shook his head, "Just the brain stem. The human part- the 'you' part- doesn't come back. Just a shell, driven by mindless instinct."
You watched, wide-eyed as the figure on the table started to toss and turn on the table, clicking its jaw as it did.
Something came into the shot, and you watched as the gun fired and a bullet ripped through the skull of the person on the table.
Slowly, you turned to Jenner, who was looking at the ground. "You shot your patent in the head... Didn't you?" Jenner turned to you, looking at you silently before turning around and starting to walk off. "VI, power down the main workstations." As usual, the automated voice came back.
"Powering down main workstations."
Andrea sniffled, crossing her arms, "You have no idea what it is, do you?" There was a soft hum as the power in that room started to drain out, and it was quiet enough to hear it.
"It could be microbial," Jenner said, unsure, "Viral, parasitic, fungal." Jacqui looked up, raising her voice a bit, "Or the wrath of God?" Jenner paused, looking over at her, "There's always that."
Andrea sighed, stepping forward, "There has got to be somebody. Somewhere." You looked over, speaking up, "There are others, right? Other facilities?" The doctor shrugged a bit, looking over at you.
"There could be. Others like me," Jenner said, still unsure. Rick scoffed, walking over to him, "But you don't know? How can you not know?" The doctor shrugged again, "Everything went down. Communication, directives-- All of it. I've been in the dark for almost a month now."
Andrea spoke up again with Rick and she started to corner him a bit, "So, it's not just here? There's nothing left anywhere? Nothing?" Jenner looked down, almost in shame as she continued, "That's what you're really saying, right?"
When he didn't answer, you knew that answer. There was nothing. Sophia whimpered a bit, and you were quick to hug her tightly to you. Carol turned around, putting her face in her hands. You reached out to her with one hand, gripping her shoulder.
Everyone was in shocked and unbelieving silence. Daryl shook his head, putting his hands up to block the sides of his vision, "Man, I gonna get shit-faced drunk. Again."
You sighed, closing your eyes for a few seconds, trying to take all of this in. Dale started to walk around, almost glaring at Jenner, "Dr. Jenner, I know that this had been awfully taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but..."
You followed Dale's finger as he pointed up at a huge timer on the other side of the room that you didn't know how you could miss.
"That clock, it's counting down." After that, he turned around and asked what everyone was thinking, "What happens at zero?"
You watched as Jenner seemed to be thinking very carefully about this and how he would answer, "Uh, the basement generators... They run out of fuel." Your brow furrowed, "And then?"
He only looked at you for a second before silently walking off. You had half a mind to go and drag him back to force him to answer, but Rick had found another way to get information.
"VI, what happens when the power runs out?" Jenner exited the room as the voice replied.
"When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur."
* * *
"All of you, meet me back here in ten minutes," Rick said as you, Glenn, Shane, and T-Dog marched down the hallways.
"Grab some flashlights," Shane demanded before all of you split up. You jogged down a hallway with Glenn, stopping in your room that you shared with Carol and Sophia.
Quickly, you scooped up your borrowed clothes that you had folded up and one flashlight that you had. When you turned around, Glenn nodded and started off to his own room. Your eyes caught one room down the hallway.
Quietly, you rounded the corner and entered it without warning. Daryl looked up in surprise from the couch, where he had kicked up his feet with the bottle from last night in his hand.
Your eyes caught his as you set down the folded clothes. He looked back at you through narrowed eyes, which only made you more pissed off at him.
Instead of leaving after that, you crossed your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow, "Seriously?"
"What?" Daryl snapped back at you, his unpleasant tone matching yours. Scoffing, you shifted your weight as you continued, "So you're just gonna sit on your ass in here instead of doing something?"
After that, Daryl raised his voice, "I've covered this group's ass enough. Plus I don't need you comin' in here and giving me no damn lecture." You rolled your eyes, shaking your head before leaving and mumbling under your breath, "Asshole."
Once you got out into the hallway, you ran into Glenn and T-Dog. As soon as they saw you, they started to jog back towards where Shane and Rick told you guys to meet them. And just as they said they would, they met you right by the basement door.
When they saw you, they nodded and Rick stepped forwards, opening the door before stepping in with Shane following him close behind.
"Decontamination-- what does that mean?" Glenn asked as the small group of you ran down the stairwell, one after the other. Shane shook his head, "I don't like the way Jenner clammed up. They way he just wandered off like that."
You could agree with that, shrugging a bit and nodding as if to second Shane's statement. "What's wrong with him? Seriously, man, is he nuts, medicated, or what?"
Rick walked up to what looked like an overlay of the basement. You didn't get a good look at it before he turned away, pointing down a dark hallway to where a door was at the end, "In there."
Everyone started to make their way down the hall, opening the door as soon as they got there. You squeezed through the narrow doorway, shining your flashlight around in the dark as it grazed over barrels and other objects in the dark.
Once they got in, Rick flicked on the lights. You blinked as the lights hummed over you before turning off your flashlight and dropping it to your side, letting it hang in your hand.
Machines and pipes lined the walls, and you stood still for a moment, scanning the room. Before long, Rick pointed off to his right, looking at you and Glenn. You nodded, taking the hint and starting to walk off with Glenn as T-Dog followed.
It was darker where you had been going, so you once again flicked on the flashlight in your hand as you began to search around the large room.
It didn't take you long after you rounded a corner to find stacks and stacks of barrels. All of them were empty. You walked up to them, narrowing your eyes, "What the-" The lights shut off before you could finish your sentence.
"Emergency lighting on."
VI's voice came over the loudspeakers again, making you look back at Glenn and T-Dog, who looked just as confused as you did. You stood up and started to jog off to find Rick and Shane. Once you rounded the corner, you had already found them.
"Hey, did you guys kill the lights?" You asked as you came up to them, hoping to get answers from them. "Nah," Shane replied, "It just went out."
Rick turned around to you as you dropped your shoulders, "Anything?" You shook your head, putting your hands on your hips, "Just dead generators and more empty fuel drums than I can count."
Shane raised the light in his hand, placing it on the dial that was just over empty, "It can't be down to just that one." You shifted your weight, looking at Rick.
"This... 'Decontamination'..." Shaking your head, you continued, "We gotta get back up there." Rick nodded, looking away, "C'mon."
With that, all of you started to run out of the room and back up to the surface. You were breathing heavily as you ran up the stairs, followed by Glenn and T-Dog. All of you burst through the door as soon as you got up there.
Rapid footsteps above you signaled that the rest of your group was coming down the stairs, and when you looked, you saw that Jenner was with them.
Rick stormed over to the doctor before you could and asked what you were pretty sure everyone wanted to know, "Jenner, what's happening?"
You fell in line with the people that were already following the doctor and quickly went over to Sophia and Carol, who both looked back at you with frightened eyes. "Are you guys okay?" You asked them in a whisper, to which they both replied with rapid nodding.
"The system is dropping all non-essential uses of power," you heard Jenner explain from the front of the line. You could sense the faint panic in the people around you already.
You looked up at Rick, who held out his hand as a symbol for everything being okay and that he could handle this.
"It's designed to keep the computers running 'til the last possible second," Jenner added in a calm voice.
"That started just as we reached the half-hour mark," the doctor said as they entered the big room from before. "Just on time." You looked up at the clock to just see it cross over to thirty-one minutes left.
A fit of anger seeped into you. You should have realized that this was too good to be true. Too good for this hell of what was the world.
Everyone stood in place for a few moments, gazing around at each other in shock. Jenner took a swig of a bottle that looked vaguely familiar to you before handing it back to Daryl, who had stepped up beside him.
Daryl ripped it out of his hands, making the liquid slosh out and onto the ground as he watched Jenner walk up to the computers again.
"It was the French," Jenner said out of nowhere, causing another question to rise from Andrea, "What?"
Once he got up to the computers, Jenner turned back around to the group to look at them with a blank expression, "They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know. While out people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they kept working until the end. They thought that they were close to a solution."
After that, Jenner turned around again, starting to make his way to the other computers. "What happened?" Jacqui asked from behind you. Jenner stopped, turning around slowly, "Same thing that's happening here. No power grid. Ran out of juice."
You looked down, wide-eyed and breathing heavily. "The world runs of fossil fuels," Jenner said, turning around with a sickly grin, "I mean, how stupid is that?"
Without warning, Shane leapt forward and reached out to grab at Jenner, "Let me tell you somethin'--" Rick reached out and grabbed his arm, knowing what he would do, "To hell with it Shane! I don't even care."
Rick turned around, lowering his voice but keeping it just as urgent as he pointed to all of you, "Lori, grab your things. Everybody, get your stuff. We're getting out of here NOW!"
Everyone looked around for a moment in shock and fear before starting to make their way to the doors. You looked down at Sophia who had started to cry softly, trying to give her reassurance. "C'mon, it's okay we're--"
You were cut off by a blaring alarm and lights flashing red. Whirling around, you looked over at Jenner, who was calmly sitting at a desk and typing in some numbers into a keypad.
"Thirty minutes to full decontamination."
Sophia started to whimper a bit more loudly, and you held her tightly, looking around with wide eyes. A clock spread across the screen, and the lights continued to flash.
"Doc, what's going on here!?" You heard Daryl yell, making you turn your gaze over to him. He didn't get a response from Jenner, and Shane quickly followed up, "Everybody, Y'all heard Rick. Get your stuff and let's get out of here!" You looked up, nodding and starting to jog back towards the doors, "Come on!"
Glenn and T-Dog followed with your coaxing. You had gripped Sophia's hand in yours, pushing her forward with Carol before staying back and doing a head count as the others ran past you.
You just kept your mind on the fact that you and your family were almost out of there. Then you heard the loud click from behind you and watched as everyone stopped in their tracks.
"D-Did you just lock us in..?" You turned to Glenn, before looking behind you in shock. "He just locked us in!"
Your jaw hung open as you looked over at Sophia and Carol, who were already starting to break down into tears. The only thing that came to mind was going back to the computers and trying to find out what closed the doors.
Without hesitation, you sprinted back to the cubicles and climbed the stairs. Daryl was doing the same thing, but with different intentions.
"Son of a bitch!" Rick turned around, seeing Daryl charge after Jenner and called out, "[Y/N]! Shane!" You already had leapt into motion.
Running up to them, you planted yourself in between Daryl and Jenner, who had sat down to record.
Daryl tried to swerve around you, but you jumped at him, wrapping your arms around him and holding him back. He outweighed you, but you were strong enough to keep him away until Shane got there to help you.
Everyone was yelling, and you still had your arms around Daryl. "Daryl-- Daryl, stop!" You looked up at him as he growled out, trying to pry past you and Shane.
T-Dog had come over as well, putting himself between you, who was still hanging to Daryl, and Jenner, who was trying to record something.
"Don't. Do. It," you said firmly, looking up at Daryl who had calmed down a bit. He looked down at you, his eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched.
You unwrapped your arms from around him and backed away, waiting for him to jump out at Jenner again.
When you turned around, Jenner looked shaken up from almost being attacked, and you rushed at him. You slammed your hand down on the desk, making him snap his eyes over to you.
"Open those doors, now," you demanded, anger filling your voice. You wouldn't let someone beat the hell out of your only hope of getting out, but that wouldn't stop you from being pissed off at them.
He shook his head slightly, looking at you, "There's no point. Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are locked down." You glared at him, clenching your teeth as you straightened up.
"Well, open the damn things!" Daryl yelled from behind you. Jenner looked back at you again, shaking his head, "That's not something I control, the computers do. I told you once those doors closed they wouldn't open again." You now were breathing heavily and put your hands up and behind your head.
A gentle hand rested on your shoulder, "It's better this way."
You whirled around, pushing his hand off of your shoulder, "What is?!" You leaned in closer again, looking up at the clock, "What happens in twenty-eight minutes?"
Without another word, Jenner turned back to the computer he was sitting at. You looked over at Rick, who came up to stand beside you. Shane looked at the both of you before grabbing the back of Jenner's chair and spinning him around to face you again.
Rick stepped ahead of you, getting in his face and yelling again, "What happens in twenty-eight minutes?" After that, Jenner stood up and got into yours and Rick's faces, "Do you know what this place is!?" You back away a bit, glaring at him still as he returned your glare.
"WE PROTECTED THE WORLD FROM VERY NASTY STUFF!!! WEAPONIZED SMALLPOX!!!" He looked around, getting in Shane's face now, "EBOLA STRAINS THAT COULD WIPE OUT HALF THE COUNTRY!!! STUFF YOU DON'T WANT GETTING OUT!!! EVER!!!"
There was a long pause as Jenner wiped his mouth before sitting down in the chair again, starting to regain his breath.
"In an event of a catastrophic power failure-- in a terrorist attack, for example. HITs are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out." Rick furrowed his brow, "HITs?" Jenner looked down, closing his eyes as if he didn't want to answer in any way, "VI, define."
Everyone waited in silence as they waited for the automated voice to come back over and give some kind of explanation to what was going on. "
"HITS; High-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration of any other known explosive beside nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen between five-thousand and six-thousand degrees and is useful when the greatest loss and damage to structures is desired."
The air in your lungs left your body as your shoulders dropped.
Another gaping hole opened in your stomach.
None of this seemed real. It all seemed like this wasn't happening, and like it was some bad dream. But you knew, in this world, anything like this could and would happen.
You looked over your shoulder at Carol and Sophia, who were clinging to each other with tears streaming down their faces. You walked over to them as they both reached out to you, wrapping your arms around them and shutting your eyes tightly.
"It sets the air on fire," Jenner said quietly, staring off into nothing. You barely heard him as you quietly shushed Carol and Sophia, trying to get them to calm down any way that you could.
"No pain," Jenner continued, shaking his head lightly, "An end to sorrow, grief..." You squeezed them tighter, trying to provide a sense of protection.
"Regret," Jenner whispered. Slowly, you let your aunt and cousin go before turning around and looking around at everyone else. Most had a blank look on their face, matching yours. You looked over at Jenner again, and he had the ghostings of a grin on his face, "Everything..."
You looked away from him, seeing Carl clinging to Lori. Rick was staring at the ground, and Shane was doing the same. Dale had his face in his hands, and T-Dog did the same. You had no idea your journey with this group would be so short.
It won't be.
Without warning, you turned and ran down the platform stairs. The entirety of the groups' eyes followed you as you did. You had your jaw clenched as you unsheathed your sword and ran up to the door.
Raising it over your head, you slammed it against the large door covering the exit. When all you got was a loud clang, you backed up.
Turning around, you were about to call out for help when you saw Daryl and Shane following you. You backed away from the door as Daryl threw the bottle at it.
The bottle shattered, and liquid spilled over the heavy duty metal. He spun around, yelling, "Open the damn door!" Jenner didn't respond, making you yell out in frustration as you brought your sword down on the door again.
"[Y/N]!" You turned when Daryl called your name. He tossed an ax in your direction, and you caught it with one hand.
Sliding your sword into the holster in your belt, you began to slam the heavier weapon into the door. Daryl came up, standing beside you and started doing the same thing with an ax that he had in his own hands.
You and Daryl continued on with that for a while before both of you realized that it was pretty much useless.
Both of you turned and stormed down the platform, and Rick met you. You shook your head, looking over at him, "We can't make a dent."
Rick's shoulders dropped a bit as you struggled to regain your breath. "Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher," Jenner said from his chair, looking at you calmly, which made you all the more pissed off.
"Well, your head ain't!" Daryl yelled as he charged at Jenner again, and you quickly ran over to him. "Daryl, stop!" Rick, you, and T-Dog latched onto Daryl again, pushing him back. T-Dog and Rick let go of him before you did.
You put both of your hands on his chest, looking straight at him and whispering firmly, "We need him alive. He dies, we all die." He looked down at you after that, and you backed away slowly, keeping eye contact with him.
Jenner had stood up by now, looking directly at Rick, "You do want this. Last night, you said you knew everyone you loved would die eventually." Hearing that, you looked over at Rick.
Even if you hadn't known him long, you didn't expect him to say something like that. He looked down and around at the group, almost in shame.
"What? You actually say that? After all your big talk?" Shane asked, staring Rick down. He shook his head, "I had to keep hope alive." Jenner shook his head, "There is no hope. There never was."
Rick turned, walking towards Jenner, "There is always hope. Maybe not for you, maybe not here. But somebody, somewhere--" A reply came from Andrea who was curled up on the ground with her knees in her chest, "What part of 'everything's gone' do you not get?"
Her snarky little remark didn't sit well with you. Just because she didn't think life was worth living anymore doesn't mean that she could make that call for the rest of you.
"Listen to your friend," Jenner said, pointing at her, "She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event."
"This isn't right," Carol said through tears as she clutched onto Sophia, "My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this." Sophia covered her face as she stood up, walking over to you. You opened your arms and she fell into them.
Jenner looked at her, shaking his head as if he was confused, "Wouldn't it be kinder? More compassionate to just hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?" You were about to scream at the doctor before you heard the sound of a gun cocking.
Shane had gone off and had gotten one of the shotguns that he had brought down to the cellar. Rick was yelling at him as he brought the gun to Jenner's head, "Shane! Shane... No, this is not the way to do this."
Shane didn't lower the gun and didn't even reply to Rick when he spoke to them. Rick and Shane continued to raise their voices until Shane started screaming.
You were sure that he was about to blow Jenner's brains out until he yanked the gun to the side and shot up the computers.
Quickly, you covered Sophia's ears as you watched the sparks fly from the now broken machines. Shane didn't stop shooting the computers and was now shooting at nothing in particular. His temper frightened you.
Rick was still yelling at him and started to wrestle the gun from out of the man's hands. Shane wasn't giving it up without a fight and pushed back at Rick.
Fortunately, Rick pried the shotgun out of Shane's hands and knocked him down to the ground.
"Are you done now? Are you done?" Shane stayed on the ground for a while before sitting up, "Yeah, I guess we all are." You slowly uncovered Sophia's ears, letting her go.
As you backed up, something touched your arm lightly. You turned, looking down at the ax that was being handed to you.
"C'mon," Daryl said as you looked up at him. Determination burned in his blue eyes as he gazed back at you. You nodded, taking the ax out of his hand and jogging back to the door that was still sealed.
So what if Jenner said it could withstand a rocket launcher? He was lying about most things.
You stood next to Daryl, gripping the ax tightly as you brought it over your head and slammed it down onto the door with a loud crash. He did the same, both of you working in tandem with each other.
"Hey," you said through swings if the ax. "What?" Daryl asked you as he worked. "I never got to thank you," you said, panting and swinging the weapon still.
"For what?" The man beside you asked. You paused a moment to look over at him, "For that day you found me in the woods." He stopped too, looking back at you with an unreadable expression.
"I never would have found my family if it weren't for you. And, even if we are going out like this, I'm still with them, and that is all I could have asked."
Daryl didn't break eye contact with you as he spoke firmly, "Don't thank me yet. Not until we're out." You looked back at the door, raising the weapon over your head and slamming it down again.
The thought of you completely voicing your thanks to Daryl didn't seem weak to you at that moment. If you were going to leave like this, you would have your family by your side.
As you continued to crash the ax against the door, something unbelievable happened. There was a mechanical whirring before another latch clicked.
Then, you watched as the door sank back into the ground and the hallway opened up.
You looked over at Daryl in disbelief, and he looked back. "C'mon!" He turned and called out to the group before starting to make his way down the hall. You turned and ran back down the platform to your family.
"We're gonna get out of here, Sophia," you said as she ran up to you with Carol following. You pushed your family ahead of you, staying back again.
Glenn ran past you, followed by Carl and Lori. T-Dog had gripped Jacqui's hand tightly and started to pull her towards the door.
"No! I'm stayin'!" Jacqui ripped her hand out of T-Dog's and backed up.
T-Dog turned around, staring at her. She only shook her head weakly, "I'm stayin' sweetie..." T-Dog reached forward, shaking his head, "No, that's insane!" Jacqui backed up, yanking her hand away, "It's completely sane! For the first time in a long time."
You watched, wide-eyed as your heart sank. Another one of your friends. Glenn yelled from behind you, "C'mon! We got four minutes!" You snapped out of it, turning to see Carol and Sophia still in the doorway, waiting for you.
Without hesitation, you leapt into a sprint, running over to them, "Let's go." They both nodded, following you down the hallway. You contemplated going into the rooms, but if there really were only four minutes left, you would have to stick with the bag that Carol had around her.
As you were running down the hall, you almost collided with a figure rounding from the rooms. You came face to face with Daryl, who had his arms full with bags from the group. You saw the gun bag, Rick's, Glenn's, Shane's, and yours. "C'mon!" He yelled, throwing you your bag.
Quickly, you took your bag and grabbed Sophia's hand, who grabbed Carol's. Daryl turned and started down the hallway towards the elevator. You began to push Carol and Sophia ahead of you, assuring that they would get to safety before you would.
From behind you, you heard Shane and Glenn panting. Looking over your shoulder briefly, you caught sight of them, along with a very distraught looking T-Dog as he left Jacqui behind. It hurt you to think about it, but you knew it was her decision.
When you got to the elevators, Daryl paused for a moment, and you started to run past him. As you did, you grabbed his arm, pulling him a bit, "We don't have the time! We need to take the stairs!"
Without a word, he started to run with you before you ducked back and grabbed Sophia's hand once again and made sure Carol wasn't far behind at all.
Daryl crashed through the door to the stairway and started to run up the stairs. You pushed Carol and Sophia ahead once more, waiting as they started to run.
Frantically, you pulled yourself up the stairs and again looked over your shoulder to make sure your comrades weren't falling behind any. They all seemed to be keeping up, but there were some that were definitely missing.
Another crash came from the top of the stairs as Daryl opened the other door.
Sunlight spilled into the dimly lit stairway as you reached the main floor. When you got to the top, your gaze instantly turned around behind you. You waited as Glenn passed you, then Shane, T-Dog, Lori, Carl, and then Rick. Dale, Andrea, and Jacqui were missing. You had no time.
Instantly, you ran over to the window, raising your ax up again. Yelling out, you swung it around and rammed it into the glass. Your blade bounced back, not even making a dent. You tried again, using all of the strength that you could muster from your body. Again, not even a crack.
T-Dog yelled from behind you to get out of the way as he threw a chair at the glass. There was a pretty nasty scratch but nothing close to it shattering.
"Get out of the way!" You backed up even further when you saw Shane running up with a loaded shotgun in his hands.
"Cover your ears, Sophia," you said as you backed up, covering your own. She shut her eyes tightly as Shane aimed and fired the gun. Nothing.
Dropping down your hands, you felt your stomach drop with them. "The glass won't break?" Sophia's small and frail voice spoke out, and you turned to her, fighting the fear out of your eyes.
"Rick," Carol said, standing up, "I think I have something that might help." You looked at her in confusion as you watched her dig through her bag.
"Carol, I don't think a nail file's gonna do it," Shane added, out of breath and with his hands on his head. Your aunt ignored his remark, stepping closer to Rick, "When I washed your clothes the first day you were in camp, I found this."
Disbelief washed over you as you watched your aunt pull out a grenade, holding it out in her shaky hand.
You had a grenade?!
If this wasn't a situation in which you could die in a matter of minutes, you would be spilling out questions.
Instead, you pushed Sophia down and under some cover before pulling her to your body and shielding her from Rick, who had knelt down and was about to pull the pin out of the grenade.
You heard shuttering breath from behind you as the pin clattered to the ground with a ping. "GET DOWN!"
Again, you covered your ears, as did Sophia. There was a loud crash followed by a large shuttering in the ground. When you looked up, you could believe what you had just seen. The glass cracked and shattered.
Quickly, before thinking about anything else, you got up and helped Sophia to her feet. As soon as she was running out with Glenn and Shane, you went over to help Carol.
She looked at you, and you had seen something in her eyes that you hadn't seen in a long time. Hope. She had given the group hope, and that was something everyone needed in times like this.
She gripped your hand tightly before you started to run with her outside. Glenn was helping Sophia down to the streets and began to run with her hand in his towards the RV.
You jumped down, helping Carol after. "Go!" You gave her a little push to coax her on. She looked back at you before turning and running towards the vehicles.
When you turned back around, you were quick to help Carl down from the ledge of the window, offering a hand to Lori as well. You were waiting. Rick was the last one out, and he pointed to the cars parked out front, "Go!"
You nodded, turning and running with your sword still in hand. Walkers were already starting to hobble towards you. Running up to one, you sliced the top half of its skull off and continued on.
When you were just about to get out of the walker-filled section, something caught your pant leg. It caused you to stumble and fall down.
When you looked back at what had caught your leg, you looked in horror at a walker with half of its leg cut off as it reached and gnawed towards you.
Raising your sword up, you were about to stab the creature through the skull. Before you could do that, an arrow flew through the air and stuck to the side of the monster's head as it went limp.
A firm hand grabbed your forearm and started to pull you up, "C'MON!" You helped yourself up, also using Daryl's arm from help as you got up. He didn't let his grip loosen as he pulled you towards the cars.
You ran alongside him, panting and going as fast as your legs could carry you. When you rounded around a small structure, you saw that Carol and Sophia were already hopping into a car.
When you got there, Daryl let go of his grip on your arm and gave you one last glance before going and sprinting off to his out truck in the back. You'd thank him later.
Quickly, you ripped open the car door and leapt inside, closing it quickly behind you as soon as you were in.
Sophia looked over at you in fear, as did Carol, and you looked over your shoulder. You were about to turn your gaze back when you saw two figures jumping down from the ledge of the window. It took a little while to recognize them, but you made out Andrea and Dale.
"They're out," you whispered to yourself before turning around and looking at your fearful family. You opened your arms up and took them in, using yourself as a shield from the explosion when it happened.
With a bit of struggle, you bent over and covered them as much as you could. T-Dog had jumped in the front and had also bent down.
A rumbling in the car signaled to you that it was about to happen. You gripped your family tightly, shutting your eyes as you took cover in the car and began to feel the car shake.
The windows rattled and vibrations were sent all throughout the vehicle as a warm hush of air washed over you.
A loud eruption sounded from outside, and that made you hold your family even closer. It seemed to wrack your brain inside your skull. It took a while before the shuttering became calmer as eventually stopped, and you looked up.
The entire facility was in flames and had crumpled to the ground like nothing. You watched in shock for a moment before scanning the rubble for two familiar faces.
A soft panic began to settle in you as you failed to spot them out, but your eyes instantly darted over to a couple of people who were peeking out from behind some stacked sandbags.
A sigh of pure relief escaped your lips as you sunk back against the car and leaned your head back, closing your eyes. You were absolutely exhausted.
Your chest rose and fell as you looked back to the driver's seat where T-Dog was sitting. He looked back at you, reaching out. You reached out as well, taking his hand in yours and giving it a firm squeeze before dropping it.
He put his hands on the steering wheel, looked out the window and waited for the line of cars ahead of him to start moving. You let your hand drop down with a soft thud.
The fact that you had almost lost some of your group was hard to comprehend. The fact that you actually did lose someone was even harder. Your eyes felt like weights, and you struggled to keep them open.
You saw Sophia across from you, lying in Carol's lap as she stroked her daughters fine, blonde hair. A happiness that you were unable to fathom washed over you as you gazed at them. Love accompanied that emotion.
The group that you had learned to work with and trust had gotten out. One of them was left behind. It was her choice. Thoughts of that circled in your head as you closed your eyes.
You felt the car jolt into motion beneath you. It seemed to cradle you, and it was soothing.
You were unable to think of anything else as you fell asleep; That grenade had worked out for the better.
Chapter 12: Dead in the Water
Chapter Text
Trees and broken down houses that had been burned flashed passed you on the road. Rolling plains with lone walkers wandering through them flew across your vision in a blur.
You gazed out of the glass, your fingertips pressing against the warm surface as you drifted into a state of complete and strange meditation.
Your forehead pressed against the glass as well and tapped the window softly every time the truck passed over a small bump. You had been silent for hours, as had your family and T-Dog, who still was driving.
The soft hum of the vehicle's engine was the only thing that filled your ears and traveled to your blank and thoughtless brain.
Your chin was resting on your hand that was curled in a fist and propped up on your knee. Your head was as empty as your stomach, but the pain in your head was much more prominent.
Every time you tried to close your eyes to sleep, images of whatever horror came first to your head would flash in front of you, and you were using all of your remaining energy to distract yourself.
Slowly, over the days, you had realized that you were doing something that you had tried your hardest to keep away from.
You had made a strict rule for yourself since the start of this epidemic; Do not care about anyone except for the people that you already have to worry about. You cared about your family. You cared about your close friends.
The thought of losing them made you scared and frustrated already, and you didn't want to have to put up with finding someone to care about only to have them slip through your fingers. Plus, you could hardly afford to keep yourself sustained on your own.
Helping other people would have only been another challenge to you. But, this group challenged that rule even more.
When you really thought about it and were truly honest with yourself, losing someone from this group besides your family wouldn't be something that you could brush of like a pesky bug on your shoulder.
That bug would bite, and leave you with a nasty wound, and you would hurt. You would be hurt because you were starting to care.
The group had been driving for two days already, and the conversations in the car were kept to a minimum. Too many emotions were mixing together, and words fell short to those.
Everyone was working on their own way to deal with what had just happened, and everyone just needed time. Time to deal with the fact that there was no hope for them to find some sort of cure. Time to deal with the loss, and not of just the sanctuary.
Jacqui had made her choice, and you didn't and couldn't say that you blamed her.
The thought of ending it all with a quick shot to the head did cross your mind on more than one occasion. A quick death was definitely easier and preferable to being torn apart by flesh-eating monsters that would turn you into one of their own. Your stubbornness just always seemed to win it over.
And now, you were gladder than ever to have not taken the easy way out. You had your family back, and now you would hopefully be able to help them go on.
The car you were in took a turn off the highway, making you look out the front window in curiosity. Sure enough, the other vehicles were also driving down a narrow path.
"I think we're stopping to change the fuel out of some of these cars. The RV could use it," T-Dog explained before shrugging a bit, "Or, and I hope I'm wrong, but there might be something wrong with the RV again."
You let out a quiet sigh as you settled back against the wall, looking over at your aunt and cousin.
The hope in your aunt's eyes that she had shown before had since long drained away, and you couldn't even tell if Sophia had any in the first place.
You did your best to offer up a hopeful smile, trying to earn one in return. You did get a smile, but there wasn't any more hope in it than there was hope in Carol before.
This group couldn't lose hope. They had lost so many things already, and hope is the only thing that they could cling to.
You couldn't believe what you were thinking. Hope. You hadn't even given that much of a thought since the start.
Eventually, the car you were in came to a stop. A soft click sounded that the doors were unlocked, and you were quick to open it.
The sun on your skin and being out of the hot vehicle proved some relief, but it wasn't much cooler outside.
Just like you had expected, there was a line-up of cars with the RV in the lead. The soft shuffle of feet signaled that Sophia and Carol had left the car as well, and you turned around.
Reaching behind you, you took your cousin's hand in yours and started to lead them up to the front of the line. Others were also already starting to exit their vehicles as well.
There was an eerie silence that hung around them as everyone made their way up to the front where Rick and his family, along with Shane were standing.
You caught Rick's eyes, to which he smiled faintly. You let your lips pull back into a soft smile. Your gaze traveled down to Carl, who had an even wider smile on his face.
Initially, you weren't sure what he was so happy to see until the young girl beside you pulled away from your grasp to run down to the family across from you. Carl also split away from his parents to meet her in a tight embrace.
A soft, happy chuckling from behind you made you turn around. When you saw Carol smile again, compassion and a returning sense of joy welled inside of you. Rick and Lori were also chuckling from behind, gazing fondly at them.
The little couple broke away from each other after a moment, going back to their families. When Sophia got back to you, you ruffled her hair once more, looking down at her with a grin. She took your hand again as you walked the short distance to them.
Looking up at Rick, you waited for the rest of the group to exit the RV and to make their way to your little cluster. It didn't take long for Andrea, Dale, and Glenn to step out of the RV, and T-Dog had walked up with you.
Daryl was already pretty close, and Shane was right behind him. Soon enough, the entire group was gathered once again. You looked around at all of them, coming to a bit of a saddening realization.
Every time that you had gathered with them, the group seemed to be getting smaller and smaller.
"Now, I know that we took a number of losses in the CDC," Rick started right off the bat when everyone got there, and you all shared a quiet moment of agreement "But this gives us a new start. Another chance," he continued, looking around at everyone there.
"Now that we're heading to Fort Benning, we need more fuel. We'll have to take what we can from some cars that we have to leave behind. Now, I'll take T-Dog's car with Lori and Carl. Sophia and Carol, you are welcome to join us. The rest of you can all go in the RV unless you feel like you should take something else." You shifted on your feet a bit before nodding slightly.
"Alright," Shane said after a brief pause, "Let's start moving out bags." The group around you dispersed after that, each person going back to their cars to grab their things. You walked back to your own car, telling T-Dog that you would grab his things.
As you walked back, you realized that there wasn't much to grab. You'd lost those things back in the CDC. You let out another soft sigh as you opened the doors and grabbed your bag, along with T-Dog's in your hands.
When you turned around, you were met by Daryl, who had paused by your car. Raising an eyebrow, you expected him to explain what he needed. "Two to one," he stated simply before walking on down the line to his own truck.
Looking after him, you furrowed your brow. You only stood there for a moment, racking your brain on what he might mean.
It didn't take you long to realize that he was talking about the little ongoing competition that you had. He had saved your life- once again- from a walker. He was beating you by one.
Slowly, you felt your cheeks tugging your lips into a smile as you looked down at the ground before you.
Softly, you chuckled and shook your head before glancing back up and down the line. You looked at Daryl as he started to unload his bike from the back of the truck he had for a moment before turning and walking back to the RV.
Carol and Sophia were already starting to walk towards the other car, and as you passed them, you stopped to give Sophia and your aunt a tight hug.
For some strange reason, when you looked down at her, you felt like you needed to hold onto Sophia a little bit longer before you let her go in the other car.
There was really no reason that you could come up with in your head, but you leaned down again and gave her another, tighter embrace.
"I love you so much," you whispered in her ear before giving her a kiss on the cheek and straightening up to go walk to the RV.
As soon as you passed your family, T-Dog was there to collect his bag from you. You handed it to him, and he fell in line next to you to walk with you to the RV. Both of you were pretty quiet as you entered, as were most of the people in there.
Dale was already sitting in the driver's seat, and Glenn was sitting next to him. When he saw you come in with T, a wide smile spread across his face. You returned it. Shane was leaning against the outside of the car, and Andrea was curled up in a seat, leaning against an inner wall.
"I'm goin' up to get some fuel," T-Dog said as he dropped his bag on the open seat across from Andrea. After that, he exited. You looked out the door, seeing Daryl meet with him and walk to the other cars.
After that, Shane stepped into the doorway and blocked your view of the two. You backed up a bit to give him enough room to get in, moving over towards Glenn.
He looked up at you, smiling softly, "How are you holding up?" You leaned on the back of the seat, looking back at him, "Fine. You?" He replied with a like answer.
After you set down your bag, you sat down next to him. "Once they come back with more fuel, we should be good to head off towards Benning."
You nodded, looking down at your hands. After that, you stood up and went around to the back room.
As you entered, you set your bag that you had picked back up down again on one of the tables. You stood in place for a second, taking a moment to clear your head for a moment and breath.
We're okay... We're gonna be okay.
Almost as soon as you got in the room, you heard something from behind you. "Okay," you heard Shane say, "Let's move out."
With that, you walked out of the back room and went up to the front of the RV. You gripped the back of Glenn's chair once again as the vehicle lurched into motion, tossing you off balance a bit as you started off.
Dale spun the steering wheel, making a U-turn in the narrow path. As you looked out of the large window, you caught sight of Daryl, who was perched on his motorcycle as he led the way out of the trees and back on the highway.
Slowly, you bent over and rested your elbows on the back of the seat in front of you with your eyes on the man ahead of the group.
He had changed. He wasn't the man you thought he was. Well, not entirely. But he was a good man, and you could see that in him, whether he knew it or not.
When you snapped back out of your mind, you blinked quickly and looked over your shoulder to T-Dog after you realized that you had been staring a while. You were just glad Glenn hadn't caught you. This trip would be a lot longer with teasing.
* * *
The group had been on the road for close to three hours, and you had been fiddling with your gun for a while. You really had nothing better to do besides that.
"Hey," Shane said looking up at you. You raised your gaze, seeing him tilt his head a bit, "Let's see that." You looked back down at your handgun before handing it out to him. He took out of your hands gently, looking at it a while, "Sweet piece."
After a moment, he raised it up and aimed at the wall. He chuckled softly as he lowered it and handed it back to you, "You know how to clean it?"
As you took it back, you shook your head a bit. He turned back to Andrea, who was still curled up in the seat across from him.
Silently, he reached out and took her piece off of the table. "Yeah, this looks pretty similar to yours," he said quietly before laying it on the table.
By now, Andrea had sat up and was watching as Shane disassembled her gun. He looked up at her, smiling, "You can learn something from this, too." She gave him a weak smile in return, and you watched as Shane took the gun apart.
"Now, the key is getting all of these little pieces back together the same way," he explained as he slid one part of the gun off of another. You were just about to start following him in taking apart your weapon before you heard Dale, "Oh, jeez..."
Instantly, your gaze was torn over to the front window, where you saw something that instantly made your heart drop. Before you moved, you jammed the gun into your belt and made sure it was secure.
Walking up to the front again, you leaned on the seat once more. "Aw, no," Glenn said quietly from his place.
Eventually, everyone was up at the front of the RV, looking out at the huge traffic collision that was before them. The road was completely blocked off.
There was an overturned semi truck blocking off a good portion, but even if you were to get past that, there were more overturned and crashed cars as far as you could see.
A familiar pit opened in your stomach as you let out a long sigh and put your face in your hands.
Daryl had already gone ahead and had tried to scout out some way to get through the crash, or at least that was what you assumed.
To your relief, your assumptions were proven correct shortly after when you saw Daryl slowly rounding the tipped semi on his motorcycle. He pulled up to the window of the RV, and Dale leaned out, "Anything."
The man below only looked behind him and nodded slightly. Dale leaned back into the RV as you watched Daryl turn around and start off into the wreck again. This time, the RV wasn't far behind.
"Y'know, maybe we should just go back," Glenn suggested, pointing to the map, "There's a--" He was quickly cut off by an obviously frustrated and annoyed Dale, "We can't spare the fuel."
Glenn quieted down after that and kept his eyes on the road. The RV slowly slugged its way around other cars, trying not to run into any of the carnage. You watched carefully as Dale slowly rounded the tipped semi, just barely getting around it.
Huh, maybe there is a way through--
A large cloud of white smoke shot out of the front of the RV, accompanied by a loud hissing sound.
Dale threw his hands up and sunk back into the seat as the RV came to halt. The man in front of you on the motorcycle had stopped as well and had turned around. You back up, hands on your hips.
If you weren't screwed from the start, you were completely fucked over now.
Closing your eyes, you took another moment to wrangle in your frustration before walking into the back room and quickly scooping up your bag before heading out of the door. You gripped the latch tightly and threw the door open before stepping out.
Quickly, you walked around to the front to look at the smoke pluming out of the grates. You ran your hand through your hair slowly, dropping it down to your side after.
Looking over to your left, you met Rick's eyes as he came up to the stopped vehicle in the front. His family and yours trailed behind him, and people were already starting to leave the RV.
"I said it. Didn't I say it?" Dale exclaimed, walking to the front, "Dead in the water."
Closing your eyes again, you dropped your head down. Everything that could possibly go wrong seemed to be going wrong, and you fucking hated it.
"Problem, Dale?" Rick asked as he came up to the older man, who had turned to him with a sarcastic look. "Just the small problem of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of--" He cut himself off, which made you look back up at him.
The group's eyes were on something behind you, and when you turned around, your eyes caught Daryl. He was scavenging through the back of a broken down car, pulling out a packet of trail mix. It was only no that you had realized how much supplies were around you.
There were cars stacked with survival gear and other things that this group could really use. You had just been too pissed off to notice.
Daryl turned around to the group, holding some mix and a small bottle of water, to which Dale completed his sentence, "Okay, that was dumb."
Now, your attention was much more focused on the cars around you, or more so, the supplies inside. Everyone's focus seemed to be on that as well. Shane spoke up, "If you can't find a radiator hose here..."
You stepped over to a nearby pack on the ground, picking it up. You unzipped the top, throwing open the pack and looking around inside. It was filled to the brim with blankets, and you stuck your hand inside to push the thick cloth aside, exposing what was on the bottom.
Plunging your hand down, you pulled out a packet of gauze and even more bandages. "There's a whole bunch of stuff we can find," Daryl said from behind you.
As you looked up and around even more, a spark of excitement spread through you at the possibilities of what you could find in these cars.
T-Dog started to walk towards the other cars, speaking over his broad shoulder, "I can siphon more fuel from these cars for a start."
You walked back to the group, holding the bandages still and looking at the people there, "I've already found some more medical supplies. There's bound to be more." You chuckled a bit, smiling widely, "Hell, there's bound to be more of everything. Food, water, medical supplies--"
You were cut off by a voice in the back that belonged to Lori, who stood very stiffly, "This place is a graveyard." There was a brief silence as everyone looked around at each other for a moment.
Everywhere is a graveyard.
You came close to saying that out loud to her but thought better of it.
"I don't know how I feel about this," she said quietly, looking over at her husband. He looked back at her before looking back down at the ground.
There was another quiet moment before T-Dog started off again, completely ignoring what Lori had just said.
"Alright, everyone. Just look around," Shane followed up shortly after, "Gather what you can."
Everyone nodded before splitting up to go search around. "Hey," Daryl said, nudging your arm. You looked back at him as he continued, "Help me cover T-Dog when he goes out to get the fuel."
You brought your bag around from you back and opened it up, quickly putting the bandages in before looking back up and nodding. He turned around and you followed after him.
Both of you quickly met up with T-Dog, who was carrying two large gas tanks in his hand and began to walk with him to find some cars. Your eyes scanned the other cars, looking out for supplies and walkers that had been trapped inside.
Daryl was walking next to you with his crossbow raised and loaded, staying silent. It wasn't long before T-Dog got to a car that he thought fit to check out and had set the tanks down.
Daryl had gone over to him to help with the stubborn gas cap, and you took this time to wander around and try to find something in the cars. There was a blue minivan next to you that sparked your interests.
Slowly, you walked over to the parked vehicle and looked on the dust-covered window.
Bringing up your arm, you wiped away some of the filth and then wiped your hand on your jeans. You brought your hands up to the window, cupping them around your eyes to get a better view inside the dark car. The sight inside was sickening to look at.
A family of three had been cooking in there for God knows how long, and it was obvious.
The person in the driver's seat skin had been stretched out taught over the figure's face, showing the bone clearly. There were others in the car, and they looked just like the first figure. You forced yourself to look away after that, not wanting to make yourself sick to your stomach.
Quickly, you opened the door and backed away from the opened car with your hand on your sword.
They weren't bitten. They won't turn.
After you came to that realization, you ducked back into the car again to find a way to pop the trunk.
Instantly, you were hit by a putrid stench of what you could only tell was the cooking flesh. You exhaled sharply, bringing your focus to how to open the trunk. There was a small lever on the floor of the van that caught your eye, and you slowly reach down to pull it.
Now, you had been holding your breath as you leaned father into the car. Your hand searched around on the ground a while before you were able to get a grip on the small lever and pull it up.
There was a dull thud as the back popped open, and you gladly and quickly got out of the van to go around.
T-Dog was still keeping himself busy with siphoning the gas from the other cars around, and Daryl was off doing his own thing. Now, you had plenty of time to scavenge.
As you went around to the back of that car, you looked through the cloudy windows. There wasn't much that you could see until you got the very back and brought up the trunk. Bags and supplies were crammed into the storage area.
You started digging your hand into the belongings of the family in the seats still, pulling out a little pink lunch bag. You held it in your hands as you looked down at the name stitched into the cloth. Katie.
After looking at it for a bit longer, you quickly unzipped the small pack and opened it. There was a plastic bag full of more trail mix that still looked good, but the rest of the food in there looked long past edible.
Abandoning the lunch box, you stuffed the trail mix into your pack and went back to look for more supplies.
There was a first aid kit in the back that caught your eyes quickly, and you dropped your bag down shortly after you saw it.
Ignoring the stench as much as you could, you climbed into the car as much as you could to grab the small white box in the back. It took a bit of straining on your part, but you eventually grabbed a hold of the handle to pull it out.
The thing had a weight to it, but you didn't check what was inside of it before you put it into the bag you had. Anything would help you at this point.
"Hey!" As you zipped up your bag and threw it over your shoulder, you looked around the back of the van to Daryl, who was calling for you. You could see that they had moved down a few more cars.
He waved you over to them before turning back towards T-Dog. Obediently, you started to walk through the cars to get to them, scanning over the contents briefly.
Quickly, you had reached the two men, waiting to hear what they wanted. "You got anything else good?" Daryl asked, backing away from T-Dog, who was already starting to work again in siphoning the gas. You looked down, opening the bag, "Some food, another first aid kit."
Taking out the little white box, you opened it. When you looked down at the contents, you expected to see bandages and disinfecting wipes.
Instead, a large dagger rested in the center of it. Your brow furrowed as you took it out, examining it, "Scratch the first aid kit."
Daryl looked down at the blade, then back up at you. He hummed softly before tilting his head, "I'm goin' ahead. Maybe see if there are any walkers."
Your grip tightened around the dagger as you looked up, nodding and getting the hint that he wanted you to go with him. "Let's go," he said as he turned around, starting to walk off.
Slowly, you followed after, looking at the ground as you walked after him. You figured that you would be able to get a better look out if you split up, so you started to go around some other cars and to some other lanes.
As you saw more and more lifeless figures in the vehicles around you, you began to grow more wary about the possibilities of you getting an unwanted surprise by one of these people who didn't die from the heat, but by something much more sufferable.
Drawing out your sword, you slid the much smaller knife into your belt loop that once held your sword. You'd have to stitch a new loop in at some point.
After you got a good grip on your sword, you got back to focus on looking around for any of the dead that wanted to bring you into their world, but you couldn't see any when you looked around.
Your shoulders were slacked down, and you scuffed at the ground with your boot a bit. You sighed, keeping your eyes on the ground as you began to think about Jim, Amy, Jacqui.
No matter how much you had started to care for them, you knew that you had needed to let them go. They would want you to.
You cut yourself off in your thoughts as your eyes focused on something that had spilled out from one of the other cars.
A baby bottle rested on the ground before you with only the bottom of it still holding a small amount of yellowish milk.
Your eyes went wide as you knelt down slowly, letting your bag fall off of your shoulder as you did. The thoughts in your head quickly changed as you became focused on this small object in front of you.
Aching in your chest started to pulse through you as you slowly reached out.
Gently, almost as if you gripped it too tightly it would shatter in your hand, you picked up the small baby bottle and looked it over still.
A huge weight seemed to rest on your shoulders as you looked on, and your attention was completely zeroed in on the bottle.
You shut your eyes tightly as words started to fill your brain, pounding against your head as if screaming to be remembered.
"This-- ALL OF THIS! This is YOUR fault!"
"HOW!? HOW COULD I HAVE STOPPED IT?!"
Before you could think back any further, you forced yourself to get out of your head and get back to reality. Just in time, too.
You looked up as a walker hobbled closer to you, reaching out and snarling dryly.
Without hesitation, you stepped up and dropped the baby bottle from your hand as you stalked over to the walker. You swung the long blade in your hand around, knocking the head clean through the middle. It dropped in its place, going silent. But, you still heard loud growling.
Looking up, your eyes met a horrific sight. Even more horrible than the crash itself.
There was another walker. And another. And another. Heads bobbed over cars as they stumbled around, making their way towards you and the group.
"Oh, shit," you whispered under your breath as you spun on your heal. Fear filled your senses, but you forced yourself not to panic. Panicking gets you killed in these types of situations. Instead, you took a moment to think.
As you were slowly slinking your way back to the RV, your mind snapped over to Daryl and T-Dog. Daryl probably didn't need any help, but T-Dog was unarmed, besides his small knife. He would need you there.
You ducked behind an overturned car, feeling your heart beat out of your chest as you looked behind you, over your shoulder. More and more were just piling up behind the others.
It was more than you had ever seen before, and you knew even Daryl wouldn't be able to face them all alone. Hell, you didn't even think that you could take them all down with him if you tried.
You looked back over across the other lanes, mapping out in your head where you would run to the other people across from you. There was a fairly clear path, and you really just had to run quickly and quietly to get to the other side.
Taking a deep breath, you gripped your sword tightly before leaping up and booking it across to the other lane.
The growling from before was just as loud, and you forced yourself not to look over to your left and to keep your head on your footing.
Effortlessly, you jumped over a car door that had been knocked off by another vehicle and continued running. Your heartbeat seemed to be pounding in your head mercilessly. Still, no matter how far the other side seemed to be, you got over there.
Like before, you ducked behind another overturned car. You took a moment to regain your breath as your chest rose and fell, leaning back on the car for a moment.
Before you could move to another to get closer to your group mates, the sound of shuffling feet came closer from behind you, as did a type of hissing that you knew all too well.
Your eyes widened as you pressed yourself even closer to the car, not wanting to be noticed by the flesh-eating monster that was making its way around the car.
Holding your breath, you sat completely still and only watched with your eyes as the walker slowly stumbled past you.
The shirt on your chest was visibly moving from your pounding heartbeat, and your grip on the sword was more of a death lock. You kept praying and praying that the walker ahead of you would just keep moving so that you could start to make your way back to your other scavengers out on this section of the road safely.
The walker ahead of you was about ten feet away from you, and you began to feel more relieved and less panicked.
Slowly, you started to move to your feet, still crouching down. The walker still didn't seem to hear you, nor see you as you began to inch your way to the edge of the overturned car.
Peaking around, you saw that the large group was still a ways behind you, so you thought that now would be a good time to go. You bent your legs more as you prepared to make a mad dash to the other cars, and you were just about to make the leap until you heard a tumbling from in front of you.
Snapping you gaze around, you watched in horror as the walker bumped into one of the open car doors, turning itself around. You were frozen in terror for a moment, giving it enough time to zero its gaze on you.
It let out another sickening gurgle as it quickly started to shuffle towards you, reaching out with blackened and bloodstained hands. You crept away from the edge of the car, trying to regain your balance to stand yourself up and fight the walker, but you were caught off guard by this.
Unable to fully get to your feet in time, the walker had caught up to you. "Shit," you whispered as the walker fell to its knees and lunged at you.
You put your hands on its shoulders, pushing it away from you and using all of your strength. In the process of trying to protect yourself, you had dropped your sword down, and as the walker came closer to you it had kicked it away from you.
The deadly creature snapped and clicked its jaws, which were only inches away from your face at the moment. Your teeth clenched as you forced yourself not to panic, but to think. Panicking just gets you killed quicker. Then you remembered something.
My knife.
Acting quickly, you got a grip on the walker's neck with one hand, keeping it away from you as you reached down to your belt with the other hand. As you were scrambling for the knife, your grip on the walker's neck tightened.
Slowly, you felt your fingers sinking into the rotting flesh of the predator and warm, sludgy liquid running down your arm.
Finally, after another moment of struggle, you ripped the small dagger out of your secure belt loop and brought it up above your head.
Without another moment of hesitation, you drove it down into the soft skull of the walker, causing it to go limp on you.
A puff of air escaped your lungs as it fell limply onto your lap. You were just about to shove it off of you when you heard more shuffling and gurgling from behind you, causing you to think quickly.
Since the first time you had just tried to hide didn't end up going too well for you, you knew that you needed to do something different.
Hurriedly, you pulled the corpse in your lap up closer to you, laying it across your body. The smell was enough to knock someone out, but you were more concerned with the much larger threat than getting a little sick to your stomach.
You make yourself go completely still as walkers hobbled around the car from either side, going on with their march and not noticing you as you lay, huddled beneath the stinking, rotting corpse.
Now, instead of worrying about yourself, you were worrying about Sophia and Carol. Where were they, and more importantly, are they okay? You couldn't be sure. Not now, at least. You just had to wait until this blows over.
It seemed like hours that you had been waiting under the corpse before the last two walkers hobbled around you and walked on. Still, you waited a few more minutes before looking over the top of the overturned car cautiously.
When you saw nothing, you took that as a sign that the walkers had passed you entirely.
Without hesitation, you shoved the dead walker off of you and stood up, going over to grab your sword. As you picked it up, your mind instantly went to Sophia and Carol. Then to the rest of the group. Had any of them been caught off guard?
Before you ran off to go and check on them, you looked back over your shoulder, remembering the two other people that you had gone out with.
Quickly, you turned around and began to jog around the cars, calling out quietly, "Daryl? T?"
You didn't hear a response, and you began to get worried. What answered you were more shuffling more shuffling of feet.
You spun around, holding your sword out in front of you as you did. The sight that met you was even more unsettling than a walker.
Daryl had one of T-Dog's arms wrapped around his shoulders, while the other one hung to his side, covered with blood. Half of his shirt was stained with the sickly red liquid.
Daryl pulled T along, trying to keep him on his feet. You looked T-Dog up and down, you're jaw hanging open slightly as the pair came up to you. "C'mon! We gotta get him back to the RV," Daryl demanded as he passed you, and you were quick to come to T-Dog's side.
"Okay," you whispered, taking T-Dog-s arm gently and lifting it. He winced a bit as you ducked under him, wrapping an arm around his back to help hold him up.
"We have to get him back, or he's gonna pass out or bleed out," you explained to Daryl, who only kept walking.
You held on to T firmly, keeping him from stumbling around too much. He groaned a bit as he was forced to walk on, and once you got back to the RV, you quickly sat him down on the stairs of the RV door. You looked around a bit, seeing that there wasn't anyone else there at the moment.
You looked over your shoulder at T-Dog, kneeling down to speak to him, "Sit tight. I'm going to go find the group, and you just have to keep the pressure on that wound."
T-Dog looked up at you and nodded firmly as his teeth clenched and he gripped his bleeding arm. You opened your bag and shuffled through it, taking out the blanket that you had packed from before and handed it out to him.
"Keep that on your wound. Press hard," you instructed before you straightened up, "I'll be right back."
You watched as he shakily pressed the cloth to his wound, trying his damnedest to keep from yelling out loud. You turned and started to walk to where you had seen Sophia and Carol head off.
Daryl followed behind you, grabbing your arm and spinning you around out of nowhere. You looked up at him with a furrowed brow, narrowing your eyes, "What?"
He looked at your arm, which was still covered in the walker blood before dropping your arm back down to your side.
"Were you bit?" He asked, his voice low and a bit challenging. You looked back at him for a while before slowly shaking your head, "No." He looked at you for a moment longer before passing you and walking off.
Shortly after that, you heard faint screaming. It sounded like a child's. Your heart stopped in your chest.
Sophia.
Spinning on your heal, you sprinted off in that direction, quickly passing Daryl, who soon started to run after you.
Nothing else mattered to you now besides getting her away from danger and to safety. Nothing else besides protecting her mattered. Your brain had zoned into that, and nothing was about to distract you from it.
Your arms pumped at your sides, and your feet carried you as fast as possible towards the sound.
Jumping over some spilled bags, your eyes locked on your aunt and Lori, who were running towards the edge of the highway.
"There are two walkers after my baby!" You heard Carol shriek as Lori wrapped her arms around her to hold her back.
"Where is she!?!" You demanded as you ran up to the group, who were all now gathered around the edge of the highway beside Dale, Andrea, and T-Dog.
You skidded to halt, looking around at anyone for any answer you could get. Carol by now had practically caved into Lori and was sobbing.
As you looked around, everyone seemed to just look at the ground, and that fear you had for Sophia fueled your rage. You clenched your teeth, yelling now, "WHERE IS SOPHIA!?!"
Shane came up to you, shushing you a bit as he held up his hand, "She got scared by some walkers and ran off." Your eyes widened as you straightened up a bit.
Shane tried to put his hand on your shoulder to reassure you as he looked you straight in the eyes, "Rick, he went out after her. He'll bring her back."
You turned over your shoulder, causing a moment of tense silence. The racing heartbeat that had settled in your head now seemed to stop completely, and a sense of panic accompanied by worry jolted in you.
You looked out into the tree line a while, stumbling backward before turning around fully and sprinting towards the guardrails.
"NO," someone yelled as large arms came around and grabbed you, holding you back. "LET ME GO, DIXON!" You struggled against and pushed Daryl as much as you could, but he still held you.
"T-Dog's gonna die here if you leave him," Daryl said a bit more calmly as he held you still.
Eventually, you stopped struggling, panting as he still kept you in his grasp. You looked at the ground as your chest heaved, and Daryl started to slowly let you go. Your eyes were still wide as saucers as you felt your heartache inside of your chest.
"We'll look for her, and we will find her," Shane said from behind you, but you barely heard anything.
There was a soft ringing in your ears, but you quickly shook your head, making yourself focus back on reality.
Slowly and silently, you pushed yourself out of Daryl's grip, stumbling to the side. You took a few deep breaths, finally looking up after a while. You looked out at the trees, hearing Carol crying still.
Rick was out there with Sophia. He would find her. He had to. But right now, you had to stay strong for Carol and T-Dog. They needed you now. You knew that.
You still remained silent as you reached up and rubbed your eyes quickly with one arm before turning around and stalking off towards T-Dog again, leaving the group with nothing but your aunt's sobbing.
Chapter 13: Keep 'Em Occupied
Chapter Text
~ Rick's P.O.V. ~
He watched Daryl as he ducked into the small crook that he had left Sophia in. When he had gotten back to checking for her, she had disappeared.
Daryl soon straightened up out of the crevice, looking back at Rick, "You sure this is where you left her?" Rick nodded turned and pointed off into the distance, "I left her right there. I drew the walkers way off in that direction up the creek."
Daryl looked over his shoulder as they stood knee deep in water, shaking his head a bit, "Up Shit's Creek without a paddle-- Seems where we've landed."
Rick shook his head, looking down and feeling a sting of guilt course through him, "She was gone by the time I got back here. I figured she just took off and ran back to the group."
He straightened up and pointed off towards the trees to where Glenn was standing and looking around, "I told her to go that way and keep the sun on her left shoulder."
After that, Daryl walked of from beside him and went over to where Rick was pointing. He looked up at Glenn before looking back at the trail and speaking sternly, "Hey, short round."
Glenn looked down at Daryl, who waved him off, "Why don't you step off to one side? You're mucking up the trail." Rick sighed, looking around.
"Assuming she knows her left from her right," Shane started, looking around with a shotgun in his hands. He looked back at Rick, raising his eyebrows as if to question what he told Sophia.
Rick snapped at Shane, speaking firmly and strongly, "Shane, she understood me fine." Shane turned to him, speaking just as firmly, "Kid's tired and scared, man. She just had her close call with two walkers. You gotta wonder how much of what you said stuck."
There was a moment of staring between the two, and Rick opened his mouth to retort back before someone beat them too continuing their little fight.
"I got clear tracks right here," Daryl said, gesturing up and down a little path. He straightened up as Rick started to come over to them, "She did like you said. Started heading back to the highway." He reached up, gesturing for Glenn to give him a hand, "Let's spread out, Make our way back."
Shane came over, helping Rick out after Glenn had helped Daryl, "Let's go, she couldn't have gotten far." Rick paused after a while, looking back at the small body of muddy water.
Guilt still rested in the pit of his stomach, but a hand on his shoulder took his attention back to Shane, "Hey, we're gonna find her."
He looked back over at Shane, nodding and trying to reassure himself as he did. Shane looked at him for a while before nodding in return and tilting his head before walking off.
Rick followed after a while, leaves crunching under his feet as he walked grudgingly on. The only thing that went through his mind was how Carol and [Y/N] would handle this if they came back empty-handed. He thought of how he and Lori would handle the same situation.
The pair of them jogged through the trees, trying to get caught up with the two people who had already gone off ahead of them.
"She'll be tuckered out, hiding in a bush somewhere," Shane said as Daryl and Glenn came into view. Daryl was kneeling down in front of some leaves, brushing them gently to the side, "She was doing just fine 'til right here. All she had to do was keep going."
Shane stepped around Daryl carefully, kneeling down and cautious of the tracks as to not mess them up. Rick placed his hand on his hips, following Daryl finger as he stood up and pointed.
"She veered off that way," he explained, pointing into some this shrubbery. Glenn, who stood right next to Rick, looked over at him and shook his head, "Why would she do that?" Rick let out a quiet sigh, bringing a hand up to rub his jaw as the guilt only pulsed more in his stomach.
Shane shrugged, "Maybe she saw something that spooked her, made her run off." A worried expression came over Glenn's face as he looked down at Daryl, "A walker?" The four waited a while as Daryl scanned over the trail once more.
After a moment, he shook his head slightly, "Don't see any other footprints. Just hers." Shane sighed as Daryl straightened up, "So what do we do? All of us press on?" He looked up at the others, waiting for an answer back.
He didn't have to wait long to receive one from Rick, "No. I think it's best if you and Glenn head off back to the highway. People are gonna start panicking."
Daryl looked back over his shoulder, adding into the conversation, "Yeah, I don't want [Y/N] stayin' behind alone. Lord knows she still wants to come out here and search."
Glenn looked at Daryl and then Rick, nodding, "I think I'll be able to keep her mind off these kinds of things for a while." Rick nodded, looking back at Shane, "Just tell everyone that we're on her trail and doing everything we can, but most of all, keep everybody calm."
Shane nodded in response, "I'll keep 'em busy scavenging cars. Think up a few other chores and keep 'em occupied." He looked over to Glenn, gesturing with his arm for him to follow, "C'mon."
Glenn stepped around Daryl, who was still kneeling down and started to head off with Shane back to the highway.
Rick watched as they disappeared into the bushes before Daryl straightened up next to him and started walked into where he said the tracks were leading to.
Rick followed shortly after, keeping as quiet as possible as they continued the search for Sophia.
* * *
~ Your P.O.V. ~
Anger and frustration boiled up inside of you as you forced yourself to stay calm.
Bandages and gaze were scattered around the table as you worked silently, your eyes locked on T-Dog's bleeding arm. He had been cut, badly, on one of the car doors during the herd walk-through.
He winced slightly as you peeled back some blood-soaked gauze from his arm to dispose of. You remained silent and continued to work on. He was breathing heavily, and you could tell that he was in an immense amount of pain as you wrapped his arm.
Unfortunately, you had run out of rubbing alcohol, and the best you could do for him was wrap the wound securely and hope he didn't have an infection. But, if he had cut himself this badly on one of the car doors, then there was a good chance he was in dire need of a tetanus shot.
You slowly pressed some clean gauze to the wound, trying to be as gentle as possible in your rigid state, and slowly started to wrap his arm.
A clattering came from outside as you heard some of the cars being moved around and out of the way. That pricked your anger more.
Shane and Glenn had come back without Sophia. Glenn even came in here to try to talk to you about God knows what. You weren't paying attention.
He got the hint that you didn't want to talk after you gave him the silent treatment for a good fifteen minutes as you worked on trying to clean and disinfect T-Dog's wound without using any rubbing alcohol.
T-Dog had tried to apologize for what had happened before, but you didn't blame him. You blamed yourself.
You told her that you would always protect her, and you had lied. You were the one that told her to run if there was any kind of danger, and she did what she was told. She always did.
Now, she was out there, lost and alone, and even if they were close on a trail, that doesn't mean that she hadn't been bitten. You could only hope that she was hiding somewhere, safe, or on her way back, and Rick and Daryl would find her, safe and sound.
"There," you said quietly, standing up from your seat. "You stay there and don't move your arm. I tried as best I could to disinfect it, but I don't have the correct supplies."
After that, you turned around and started to walk out. "Hey," T-Dog called out from behind you, making you turn your head to the side to give the impression that you were listening to him.
"Daryl and Rick... They're gonna find her. Don't you doubt that," T-Dog said, his voice filled with reassurance and hope.
You stood there still for a moment, thinking about what he had just said and letting it rest inside of you. You had to make yourself believe that because you still had things to do and jobs with the group.
Looking back at him fully over your shoulder, you paused and gave him a small nod before turning around again and walking out of the RV, meeting Shane as he exited a car.
Clenching your jaw a bit, you walked up to him, pointing to the tree line, "Why aren't we all out there searching? Why are we moving cars?"
Just as Shane opened his mouth to answer your frustrated and annoyed question, Dale piped up with a quick answer, "Well, we have to clear enough room so I can get the RV turned around. Now that we have fuel we'll double back to a bypass Glenn marked on the map."
You looked at him with a furrowed brow, anger starting to bubble up in you again at him already talking about leaving this spot and moving on.
"Yeah, going back will be easier than getting through this mess," Shane added as Lori started to walk up to the small cluster of people, joined by Andrea.
You stared Shane in the eyes, speaking firmly and stepping closer to him, "We're not going anywhere until Sophia is back." You would make sure of that.
If this prick thought that he could just make the call that everybody would be going back to Fort Benning, he wouldn't get everybody. You'd stay behind, that's for damn sure.
"Hey," a gentle hand rested on your shoulder, but it didn't sway your glare at Shane. Lori tried to gain your attention, speaking softly to you, "That goes without saying."
She fired a look at Shane, warning him without words to be kind to you and not to raise his voice. At least she knew what you were going through. She had thought that she had lost someone as well.
Shane let out a short puff of air before softening his expression, "Rick and Daryl, they're doing everything that they can, but we need you to stay back here and look after T-Dog. It's only a matter of time before they find her."
Backing up a bit, you looked away from Shane. The hard expression that you had was still plastered on your face, but you refrained from saying anything else to him.
Instead, you stormed away from them and towards your aunt, who was still standing near the guardrails on the highway. She turned to the side a bit as you placed a hand on her shoulder, looking out over the tree line as well.
The both of you stayed silent for a while, the only thing breaking it being the quiet sniffles from your aunt beside you. You turned to her, gripping her shoulder a bit before taking in a long breath, "We'll find her. We will."
A shaky breath escaped your aunt beside you, and you saw the faint tracings of a smile cross her face. Thank God, she believed you.
You saying that the people out there would find her daughter was exactly what she needed to hear from you, and you were glad she believed what you had said.
Still, deep down in you, you couldn't seem to believe yourself when you said that. No matter how hard you tried to convince yourself that when you saw Daryl and Rick emerge from the woods and you would see Sophia trailing right behind, the image simply couldn't play itself out. But you couldn't let your aunt see that.
Sophia was the light of her life, as were you, and she had already lost one of them, so it was your job to keep her hopes from dying out like the light in her heart when she had lost Sophia. You needed to keep that fire burning for as long as you could.
"[Y/N]?" You turned around when you heard your name being called from behind you, giving Shane a blank, cold stare when he spoke to you.
He gestured for you to come over to him as he spoke out, "Why don't you come help us scavenge a bit before Rick and Daryl get back. You might be able to find something to help T-Dog."
You stayed next to Carol a bit longer before letting out a long, quiet breath and giving her shoulder one last squeeze before going off to help and scavenge before even talking to Shane again.
* * *
"There," you set down a crate of supplies straightening up to face Shane. He looked down, sighing as he placed his hands on his hips.
You crossed your arms, glaring at him, raising an eyebrow and gesturing to the supplies, "That what you wanted? That good enough for you? Or do I have to go out again before I get the privilege of comforting my aunt?"
Your question was sharp and more of a challenge than an actual question. The former police officer sighed, shifting his weight. Your glare didn't waver.
"[Y/N]," he started, making you raise an eyebrow once again. "We need more people to work around here. We can't have everyone standing around and waiting," he finished, which brought on another wave of anger.
You leaned forward, pointing out towards the trees again, "Then let me go out there and look for her!"
He raised a hand up as you demanded that, making you back up a bit, "Daryl wants you to stay back here, so does Rick. People need you here. T-Dog does," You sighed, backing away and shaking your head, raising your hand to rest on your forehead.
Silently, you turned around and started to walk off, picking up another crate off of the ground and storming to a car laden with supplies.
Yes, you knew that everyone couldn't just be sitting around instead of helping, but not everyone had just lost someone that they would have given their life in a heartbeat for.
You didn't understand why you couldn't be out there looking for your cousin, and you couldn't understand why you weren't allowed to go and help your aunt cope with this major loss. Instead, you were forced to work the pain away.
Your hand gripped the edges of the empty crate until your knuckles were white, and the only time you released it was when you dropped it to the ground to start digging into one of the cars.
Taking your anger out, you started to rip the empty boxes out of the way, letting them fall to the ground as you took them out. You reached back, picking a can of something up and not even giving it a second look before putting it in the crate.
There were about four cans stacked in a box, and you took every single one of them out to put into the box below you before starting to move on.
Just as you bent down to pick up the container, something shined on the floor of the car. Your gaze caught it, making you pause and look at it more closely.
It was a necklace of some sorts. Slowly, you lifted your hand off of the crate below you and reached out to the small silver chain that lay in a bunched up pile, covered in dust. Your fingers hooked around the chain, pulling the small charm out and into the sun so that you could look at it.
A small, shining horse dangled at the end, stuck in a permanent rearing position. The metal had dulled a bit, but it still looked good to you.
As you gazed at the little horse, your mind wandered back to Sophia, no matter how much you wanted to keep from worrying about her. She loved horses. Your little filly. Your cheeks gently tugged your lips back into a smile as you leaned back, sitting down.
You had the charm still resting in your palm as you put your slightly bent legs out in front of you. Your eyes began to burn and water from the tears starting to fill them slowly, but you continued to smile.
Everything that had piled up to this moment had come flooding back to you, making your chest ache and fill with a strange sense of calm and hope as well.
On your journey with this group, you never really had a moment to really sit back and deal with everything that had happened. To deal with the people that you had lost and how quickly you had lost them. Amy, Jim, and Jacqui. They had all left you so fast.
But this small charm, this small little horse on the end of a silver chain was what you took as a sign. You would find Sophia, and she would come back to you, safe and sound and in one piece.
The group would continue on, and Carol would smile again. She would be able to hope for the better side of things instead of having to learn to deal with losing people that she loved. Rick and Daryl would find Sophia and bring her back to you.
Carol would smile again, and you would give this to her as a gift. Slowly, you began to chuckle through quiet tears, leaning back on the highway and looking up at the sky, still clutching the charm closely to your chest.
* * *
The sun had started to sink down over the horizon as you continued to scavenge the cars, coming back with crate after crate of what you could find.
Eventually, you had worked up enough to line the front of a car with canned food and bottled water. Carl had come back at some point with an arsenal, but you were by far the most successful person who scavenged that day.
Now, Daryl and Rick had been out for hours, looking for Sophia, and there had been no sign of their return. You had begun to grow even more worried about them, but you had no time to worry.
You had been checking in on T-Dog for the past few hours, and now, he was stable enough to come outside of the RV. You knew that he had lost a large amount of blood from that cut on his arm, but he was strong enough to come out. He only went to a few cars, but not any farther than that.
You had been keeping silent and away from anyone else, but you had just been dropping off another load of supplies when Glenn suddenly straightened up and turned around, "Oh my gosh, they're back."
Instantly, you straightened up as well, gaze focused on the two head that you could see over the tall grass that were emerging from the tree line.
Without another moment of hesitation, you dropped what you had and ran over to Carol, who was looking at them, just as hopeful as you were. You leaned over the guardrail, looking at the men, who were only looking down at their feet as they walked, refusing to meet your's or Carol's gaze.
Again, your heart dropped down from your chest, and you felt a huge weight rest on your shoulders. You strained to look around the men who were walking up the hill, hoping to see blonde hair bobbing behind them as Sophia ran back to the group, following Daryl and Rick.
Carol's breathing became quicker and shallower as she backed up, shaking her head as her voice broke, "You didn't find her?" Your hands still gripped the guardrail as your breathing became uneven and more of a struggle. Your eyes fell down to the grass overgrowing onto the road beneath you as you struggled to register that they had come back, but Sophia wasn't with them.
Rick stepped over the guardrails, looking to Carol to comfort her a bit as he gently spoke, "Her trail went cold. We'll pick up again at first light."
Slowly, you turned and looked at Rick, wide-eyed and with an unreadable expression as fear and emotion raced through your head.
You shook your head, getting up from leaning on the guardrail, "No, you can't leave her out there on her own to spend the night alone in the woods. I'm going back out there."
You stepped over the rail, but a firm hand gripped your forearm, speaking to you just as firm, "Out in the dark's no good. We'll be tripping over ourselves and more people get lost." You turned around to Daryl, glaring as you raised your voice, "She's twelve. She can't be out there on her own!"
He didn't change his hard expression as he stared back at you. The only thing for a while was the sound of your aunt sobbing into Lori's arms, "You didn't find anything?"
Rick looked back and forth between the two of you, holding out his arms and keeping his voice level, "Look, I know this is hard, but I'm asking you not to panic."
Rick shook his head, putting a gentle hand on Carol's shoulder, "We know she was out there."
By now, you looked back in front of you and at the ground. Daryl still held your arm but had loosened the grip to allow you to pull away.
He leaned down, trying to gain your attention back from the ground as he spoke softer than he ever had to you, "And we tracked her for a while."
You looked back over to him, locking your eyes with his for a while as he straightened up, letting go of your arm fully. Looking away from him after a while, you raised a hand up to cover your mouth silently.
"Now, we need to make this an organized effort," Rick said from behind you, but you didn't listen. He turned around, facing you, "Daryl knows the woods better than anybody, and I've asked him to oversee this."
You still had your gaze on the ground as the anger inside you still simmered and popped, rising to the surface to boil over once more. "Is that blood?" You heard your aunt ask that softly, looking at Rick and then to Daryl.
Both of them looked down at the stained that covered their pants, and your eyes shifted over to look at Daryl, who was still standing close beside you. You looked up at his eyes when he didn't respond, catching his silver-blue ones silently.
Lowering your hand, your gaze didn't waver from him as you waited for a response.
Please don't be bitten...
Obviously, he saw the worry in your eyes as he shook his head a bit, making the smallest feeling of relief pass over you.
"We ran into a walker," Rick explained, making Carol breath even heavier, "Walker? Oh G..." Your aunt trailed off in a breaking voice as she shifted and bit her lip.
Rick leaned forward, reaching out still, "There was no sign that it was anywhere near Sophia." Carol still cried quietly as Lori still tried to keep her close. Andrea spoke up from behind, looking at Rick through narrowed eyes, "How can you know that?"
Again, there was another brief silence, and again you looked Daryl straight in the eyes, waiting for a response.
Daryl looked back at you a while before looking over your shoulder at Andrea, "We cut that sumbitch open. Made sure." After that, you looked away from Daryl as you went back to your thoughts and your anger.
Now, you felt the heat and tension in your head, and it was about to snap. Everything that the group had gone through, every loss had piled up behind. The thought of losing Sophia made you completely snap.
You whirled around, stalking off towards Rick with the whole group's attention on you, except for Carol, who had her hands over her face.
"How could you just leave her out there in the first place?!" He looked back at you with an opened mouth, though he said nothing. You quickly took this opportunity to continue, "How could you just leave?!"
A look of reassurance came back to his face as he turned fully to you, shaking his head slightly, "Those two walkers, I had to draw them off." Once again, your hand covered your mouth as you looked away, fixing your gaze on your aunt.
"It was her best chance," you heard Rick say as he slowly inched forward, trying to place a hand on your shoulder. You moved the hand up from your mouth and ran it through your hair as you continued to stare off, frozen in place.
There was another short silence as Shane quietly added in from next to Rick, "It sounds like he didn't have much of a choice, [Y/N]."
Now, your voice was more shaky, being completely taken over by the immense amount of emotion that had gripped onto you. You turned back to Rick, ripping yourself away from the hand that rested on your shoulder, your eyes blazing. "How is she supposed to find her way back on her own?"
Your voice was just above a hushed whisper as you inched forward, clenching your teeth. Rick opened his mouth again, but he only shook his head, almost helplessly.
"She's just a child," Carol whispered weakly as she stilled cried, her hands still over her face as she spoke. Exhaling sharply, you spun around and faced the trees with a hand on the top of your head.
The conversation behind you turned into a blur of words and cries from your aunt as you shifted your weight, trying to come to terms with the fact that your little cousin was still out there and night was falling.
A walker herd had just passed through here, what would the woods be like? Especially at night? Sophia must have been so scared. She must be so scared.
Still, no matter how much you wanted to, you knew if you went out there, you had a good chance of getting lost as well. Then where would that leave Carol? But leaving Sophia out there to fend for herself made your stomach churn and ache. Where was she now?
Questions clawed and scratched at your brain, making your headache as well as your stomach. You felt as if there was a walker inside you, tearing you apart bit by bit.
All you could hope was that Sophia was somewhere close and somewhere safe, and all that you could do yourself was pray that she would last the night, and they would be back out there once again to look for her.
Again, you whirled around and started off again, only this time, in the direction of the highway. You stepped over the guardrail, walking quickly past Rick and your aunt as he tried to comfort her still.
The group looked after you as you walked farther into the wreck of cars, falling silent as you left them only with the sound of sobbing that came from your aunt. You needed to step away from this all for a moment to regain yourself.
You knew that you shouldn't be getting mad at Rick. You knew, deep down, that he did what he could. But you just needed time to step away and deal with yourself. You walked away in silence, eyes off on the horizon, and the horse charm clutched tightly in your hand.
* * *
Crickets chirped in the night, but there was no sign of walkers anywhere. To be honest, there was no movement anywhere around you as you sat in the dark. You had your elbows propped on your knees as your gaze was focused on something small in your hands.
Slowly, you wove your fingers through the small chain, keeping the charm in the palm of your hands as you did. Your hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and you hadn't changed out of your clothes since this morning, despite that faint scent of walker still lingering on them.
Still, hygiene was the very least of your problems right now, and it's not like anyone cared. Not anymore. You had brought back even more supplies and had been scavenging the cars ever since sundown. Now, you were taking a break and trying to calm yourself down a bit.
All of this was just you trying to take your mind off of Sophia, though none of it seemed to be working. All it seemed to be doing was ticking you off.
An empty water bottle clattered behind you, making your turn around quickly and try to reach for your knife. A loud sigh escaped your lips as you saw Glenn trying to sneak up on you.
"You suck at being quiet," you said bitterly as you turned around, stuffing the charm back into your pocket. Another sigh returned as you heard Glenn's footsteps behind you, "I know."
He came up to sit next to you, earning a sideways glare. "What? Are you supposed to babysit me to make sure I don't run away?"
Your tone was sharp and sarcastic as you gazed at the ground, and you closed your eyes. No matter how much you tried to ignore it, that remark just added to the pile of guilt that you had.
"Just," you began, shaking your head, "go back in the RV and get some sleep. I'm not going to go anywhere." You scuffed your boot on the ground again, not looking up at Glenn. He stayed silent for a while before sighing and shifting his weight, "Well, if you're staying out here, you're stuck with me."
Looking over at him finally, you gave him a serious look, silently telling him to listen to you. He only looked back at you with a calm expression, but you could tell that he wasn't going anywhere.
You rolled your eyes a bit, giving up the serious look and sighing, "Fine." You rested your head on your hands, looking out at the trees and returning your mind to Sophia. There was a long while of silence as you continued to stare out at the trees.
There was another long exhale from beside you as Glenn shifted his weight, resting his elbows on his knees as well. "So--" Glenn started, but you quickly cut him off, "I'm sorry." That shut him up quickly.
You turned over your shoulder, looking at him before straightening up and looking up to the star-filled sky.
"I..." You took another moment, shutting your eyes tightly before continuing on, "You guys, you took me in and you gave me something to be a part of. To fight for. You brought me back to my family, and when you guys went out to look for Sophia..."
You shook your head and inhaled deeply, "I shouldn't have been that ungrateful for what you did."
Once again, your eyes began to sting. Everything came rushing back to you, and you shut your eyes tightly again and bit your bottom lip tightly.
"I was the one that told her to run," you started, forcing your voice to a point where it was painful to keep it level. "I told her if there was anything that would hurt her, I would protect her," You choked out again before shaking your head.
"Hey," an arm wrapped around your shoulders, tightly. "We'll find her," Glenn said softly, making you look back over at him with glossy eyes. He gave you a sympathetic look, which made you want to believe him all the more.
After another moment, you nodded quickly. Your response made Glenn smile, throwing his other arm around you and pulling you into a friendly and reassuring embrace. You gripped him softly back, closing your eyes and trying to grab a hold of your emotions as you did.
Chapter 14: Ticking Time Bomb
Chapter Text
"Everyone takes a weapon."
The whole group had gathered around one of the parked cars as the arsenal was rolled out on the hood of the beat up vehicle. Rick stepped back after commanding that and went to go stand back next to Shane and Daryl once more.
Everyone started to move in to grab a weapon, except for the people who were too wounded to leave the RV, which was only T-Dog. Or, the people who already had a weapon that would kill silently, which were only you and Daryl before Carl found a load of weapons in a car when they were out looking around the wreck.
Carl was one of the first to jump forward, making for the large dagger in the center, but Lori was quick to take out a much smaller knife and hand it to him. He looked up, his shoulders dropping as he whined about something, but Lori just ignored him and took a weapon of her own choice.
Everyone else slowly came forward, except for one stubborn woman in the back with her hand placed on her hips as she looked at Shane.
Andrea shook her head, scoffing quietly, "These aren't the kind of weapons we need. What about the guns?"
Discreetly, you rolled your eyes and stepped away a bit, not having the energy or the patience to deal with this woman's whining. You didn't even think she knew how to shoot a gun, let alone clean one and put it back together properly, or quietly for that matter.
You had heard about how Dale had to come and give her a screwdriver just to take down one walker in the RV. But, you still didn't say anything, though Shane had different plans.
Of course, he had different and higher authority over the group. "We've been over that," he stated calmly, holding the gun he had loosely in his hands, "Daryl, Rick, and I are carrying. Can't have people popping off rounds every time a tree rustles."
You agreed completely with Shane's statement and would be the first to back it if you had the chance. You wouldn't want to be wandering around in the woods with inexperienced people having guns in their hands. Vision in the woods wasn't something everyone had.
Just as you were about to start making your way towards T-Dog to check on him once more, you saw Andrea point at you from the corner of your eye. "Oh, so [Y/N] gets to carry?"
Stopping, you turned around to her, furrowing your brow before you remembered. Your gun was still tucked tightly in the back of your belt. She must have seen it when you were walking away from her.
Looking back, you quietly pulled the handgun out of your pocket, looking back for someone to hand it to. Rick stepped up, and you held it out without complaint as he took it.
He nodded softly and took it from you, looking it over before turning and heading back to Shane, who had nodded and turned back to the group as well.
Still, you looked over your shoulder and fired a bit of a glare at Andrea, who had been glaring at you from behind as well.
It wasn't even the fact that she caught you with the gun, or that you even wanted to keep it. It was the sheer childlike nature of it that she had to go and point it out to everyone.
Pointing it out made it seem like you were trying to hide it from people and wanted to keep it. It was a bit like throwing you under the bus.
Plus, you could already tell that she held herself much higher than you in her sight. Hell, she wanted to be treated like Shane and Rick. But, it still seemed like she couldn't even kill a single walker without somebody to come to her rescue.
She thought she knew what she was doing, but you could see right through that she didn't know shit except for how to catch a few fish.
Next time you went on a fishing trip, you would be sure to bring her along, but for now, she could stay out of your way.
"Say someone fires at the wrong moment," Shane started up again as you came to stand by T, "Herd happens to be passing by." You looked over at him, raising an eyebrow to ask silently if he was okay.
He gave you a crooked smile for a response, showing that he would be fine. You turned your attention back to the person speaking shortly after. "See, then it's game over for all of us. So you need to get over it."
Again, you were glad someone agreed with your point of view. Once Shane was finished, Daryl stepped up to the car and started to point out where the group would be making their trek.
"The idea is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around, and come back down the other side," he stated as he ran a finger along a blue line that showed the river. You watched as Glenn walked up to the arsenal, slowly lifting up a weapon off of the hood.
He smiled a little bit as he looked at it, and you smiled as well, knowing he only took the weapon because it looked cool.
Over the night, you could definitely tell that you and he had bonded. Both of you had stayed out all night. He had tried immensely to cheer you up, but none of it really seemed to work. But, it did keep you awake.
Again, you turned your focus away, looking back towards Daryl, who had turned to look at you. He was still speaking, but now, more directly to you.
"Chances are she'll be by the creek," he said, looking at you still for a while longer before looking back at the group once more, "It's her only landmark."
Even though he had looked away, your gaze still rested on him as he started to walk off towards his bag which he had set on the ground. You couldn't help but notice how much he had tried to help you with the loss of Sophia.
Last night, when they had come back, he kept trying to make you see that there was a possibility that Sophia was alive. He had held you back from running into the woods at dark, no matter how hard you had tried to get away from him.
For the first time that you had been here, you really saw him start to care. Not just about you, but about the group.
You guessed that you could see how hard this loss had impacted everyone, and you saw that he was trying to help. You guessed that this was what he would have wanted from the group when he had lost Merle.
Even though it was never said, you assumed that Merle had been bitten, and they had to put him down. Now, he was trying to keep another one of his people away from being killed.
"Stay quiet, stay sharp," Rick ordered bluntly, looking around, "Keep space between you, but stay in sight of each other." You gave T-Dog one last look before straightening up and starting to make your way towards the guardrails as well.
You heard Shane saying something about how everyone needs to assemble their packs, but you had already had yours filled with what you needed. Water, bandages, a can of food, and your sword in your belt loop. All you needed now was to go out and find your cousin.
Standing still, you crossed your arms and shifted your weight on your feet, peering through squinted eyes out into the forest.
A snap came from behind you as you heard Daryl load his crossbow before coming up to you. You didn't acknowledge his presence as you kept scanning the treeline.
A brief silence was held between the two of you until Daryl spoke gruffly. "Sophia," he started, still not looking to as he spoke, "She's smart. She'll head back to the creek." You looked down at your feet, not showing any indication of a reply.
Daryl waited a bit before shifting his weight, "Then we can finally get out of this shit storm."
* * *
Carol walked quickly and worried in front of you, and Glenn followed closely behind you. The whole expedition crew was making their way through some pretty thick, tall grass, following Daryl.
He had been tracking for a few miles, and you had been out for about an hour. All with no luck. The only tracks that Daryl could seem to find were walker tracks.
Your sword hung by your side in your hand, gripped tightly and running along the grass. So far, no one had run into a case where they needed to use their weapon of choice, but that didn't lower your worry or concern that Sophia had an unlucky run-in. You just forced yourself to keep your mind off of that.
Still, Carol's nervous fidgeting was constantly reminding you, but you were in no way blaming her for that. You had been feeling the same way, but only had a different way of dealing with it. You also had better ways of concealing the fact that you were nervous.
People had been making little conversations here and there, and once again, Glenn had tried to strike up a conversation, but again, quickly got the hint that you weren't up to talking. The silence was a way that you dealt with everything going on.
The people ahead of you started to slow down, and you looked around the line, trying to see the man in the front. Daryl had his hand held up, sending a domino effect of people stopping and kneeling down.
Before you even looked back, Carol and rushed over to the front of the line and took her place just behind Rick to get a better look at what they had found.
Slowly, you started to creep forward as well with your eyes on the trees ahead of you, but you couldn't seem to pick out just what they were looking at.
Carol had placed a hand over her mouth just before she rounded a corner, and you were quick to pick up your pace to round the corner as well.
A spark of hope had started to light in you again, but you didn't allow it to glow any more than just a kindling. You couldn't afford to have your heart sink that far again after last night. You still needed to be strong, and if keeping from hoping was the way to do it, then you would.
A small, yellow tent rested in the center of a small clearing. The openings were zipped shut, and there was no movement from the inside that you could see from where you were. Still, she could be in there.
Again, you picked up your pace, making your way next to your aunt as the grass hushed beneath your feet. You could here he somewhat heavy and quick breathing as the group inched closer and closer to the tent, all of them with their eyes fixed on it.
You could also tell that Carol wanted to call out for her daughter, but that she knew she couldn't. Not with the number of walkers that you had seen passing through or in this forest alone.
Just because you hadn't run into any so far, doesn't mean that there aren't many around. They surprised you last time. You couldn't deny that you wanted to call out as well, but you knew that exact same thing.
Instead, you watched and waited. Rick turned around after a while, motioning for everyone to get closer to the ground, and everyone did.
After a while, only Shane and Glenn were the ones standing. Shane had his shotgun raised a bit, but when he spoke, his voice was much gentler, "She could be in there."
A short breath escaped your slightly parted lips as you went through the possibilities in your mind. There was a good chance that Sophia could be in there. The tent wasn't that far from the small lake that Sophia was at.
"There could be a whole bunch of things in there," Daryl said as he crept forward, his crossbow raised a bit.
Thank you for that.
You thought that in your mind, but really, you didn't want to get your hopes too high just for them to be dropped again.
As Daryl started to move in closer with Rick and Shane, you and Carol straightened up at the same time, meaning to start making your way along with them.
As soon as he heard you two, Rick turned around and raised a hand, motioning for you to stay back. Grudgingly, you stopped and lowered yourself down a bit, but kept your eyes on the tent that Daryl was still making his way towards.
His steps were as silent as they could have been as he walked forward with his crossbow in hands. As you knelt down, you felt your heart rate increasing, but you were sure what it was about.
Another spike of worry coursed through you at the fact that Daryl could run into an unwanted surprise inside that tent. It also was about what that unwanted surprise might be.
It could have been Sophia, but you didn't think into any more detail about what Sophia's state might be. You just kept your eyes on the man ahead of the group, whether you wanted to or not.
He turned his head back around to Rick and Shane who were just behind them and motioned for them to stay back as he went on toward the tent still. Rick and Shane obeyed and stood in their place.
Daryl walked on slowly, his crossbow still raised, but he had now pulled out a large knife. Now, he was only a few feet away from the tent.
Slowly, he lowered his crossbow to the ground as he came to the opening, making sure to still be very conscious of his level of noise. Your thumping heartbeat racked your brain, being the only thing you could hear over your aunt's breathing.
When Daryl got closer, he leaned over, peering through the small opening of the zipper flap. When he couldn't see anything from there, he slowly backed away and side-stepped to the other side of the tent.
Again, he slowly pushed away some of the cloth, trying to get a better look. After that attempt, he backed up again and glanced over his shoulder, shrugging to Shane and Rick.
There was a slight pause before Rick turned around and connected his eyes with yours. He waved you over, speaking out quietly, "Carol, [Y/N]."
Quickly, you and your aunt straightened up and started your way over to the other people as quickly, but as quietly as possible. Other's tried to follow you but were quickly motioned to stay back by Shane.
Once you both got over to Rick, he had started to walk towards Daryl slowly, quietly talking to your aunt as he did. "Call out softly," he said, "If she's in there, your's is the first voice she should hear."
Your eyes never left the tent as you listened to Rick, nodding a bit when he finished. Quietly, you waited for Carol to call out. "Sophia, sweetie," she called quietly and hopefully, along with a bit of fear. Everyone had a bit of fear in them nowadays.
"Are you in there?" Carol asked as Daryl began to move in again, placing his hand on the zipper. "Sophia, it's mommy," she pressed again, her voice beginning to break again as she did.
You took a breath in as you spoke out, making your voice level and cheerful in a comforting in a way, "Hey, we're all here, Filly. Mom's right here. It's [Y/N]."
There was a long moment of silence and stillness. Not a single move inside the tent. You let out a quiet exhale as you closed your eyes. She wasn't in there. Or, if she was, she wasn't able to call out, but you kept your mind from that possibility.
Turning around once more, Rick motioned you to stay just before he started to creep forward again with Shane.
You reached up and put a hand on your aunt's shoulder, gently squeezing it as the both of you watched the tree men by the tent.
By now, the rest of the group had come up behind you and had started to watch as well, but you paid no mind to them. You were much more concerned about the people in front of you, not behind.
Once Rick and Shane joined Daryl, the redneck began to slowly unzip the tent flap as quietly as he possibly could. It seemed ages to you, watching him, but you continued to wait for the clarity of whatever was in the tent.
Once he had pulled back enough, Daryl pushed back the tent flap, and you did your best to see whatever was in there, but you just couldn't seem to get a good angle from where you were standing. One thing that you did see clearly was Daryl's reaction.
Almost as soon as he looked in, he pulled back and gagged, placing the back of his arm over his mouth. Rick and Shane did the same shortly after.
Still, Daryl didn't waste any more time. He pulled back the tent flap again and held the small blade he had up, prepared for whatever might be inside. You watched as he stepped in, letting the flap fall back behind him, cutting off your view.
Quietly, Lori had stepped up behind Carol again, placing another hand on her shoulder as you dropped yours shortly after. Your eyes were fixed on the tent, narrowed and unwavering.
Slowly, you started to walk forward to the tent as well, but not getting too close. For some reason, it seemed like ages that Daryl had been inside the tent.
It could have been because you were waiting for an answer, or because you had begun to worry about what was in there and how much danger he was being put in.
Quietly, you called out as you walked forward, holding your weapon tightly, "Daryl?" You waited for a while longer but weren't greeted with an answer. You trusted that the man in there would be able to defend himself from anything in there, but that didn't stop your worry for him.
Just as you were about to call out again, a rustling came from the tent, and Daryl emerged quickly after. He looked at you, lingering in your gaze before shaking his head, "It ain't her."
Your shoulders dropped as you stepped back a bit, sighing as your sword scraped the ground beneath you.
Turning back to him, you asked quietly, "What's in there?" Daryl was sliding his blade back into the sheath in his belt as he replied to you, "Some guy."
Leaning over, he picked up his crossbow again before he continued, "Did what Jenner said. Opted out." His voice turned into some of a mocking tone as he finished his sentence.
As you were starting to step back, Daryl started walking towards you, looking around, "Ain't that what he called it?"
As he came closer to you, your gaze lifted up to meet his, which still seemed to rest on you. You opened your mouth to say something, but just before you could get any words out, the sound of bells reached your ears.
At first, you thought that you were just hearing those yourself, but when everyone else started to look around, you knew that you weren't the only one.
Your eyes met Rick's and Carol's, whose eyes were both just as wide as yours in the split second before Rick pointed off in one direction.
Without hesitation, you started off with Daryl falling into pace beside you. The rest of the group followed behind you as Shane and Rick lead the way towards the noise.
Whatever the bells were coming from, maybe that was where Sophia was. Hell, she could have been ringing them herself. It was as good of a possibility as anything.
The group continued running on, still following the two men in front as all of you weaved through the shrubs and trees in their way.
You and Daryl continued to run in time with each other, even pausing when one of the two of you stumbled so that you both could stay with each other. You didn't know why you did it, but Daryl seemed to be doing the same thing. You guessed that both of you were just tired of leaving people behind.
Eventually, the group ended up in another small clearing where Shane and Rick pause, looking in either direction.
"Which way?" You heard Shane ask Rick from standing behind them, trying to map out where the sound might be coming from yourself.
Rick didn't waste much time with his answer as he pointed off, starting to walk quickly again, "That way. I'm pretty sure."
The rest started to follow slowly behind him, though no one was very sure, not even Rick. "Damn, it's hard to tell out here," Shane said, out of breath as he too looked around as the bells continued to ring. Still, everyone shifted as they slowly walked forward.
You looked around, unable to tell where they were coming from but you knew that they had become louder than before.
"If we heard them then maybe Sophia did too," Carol said hopefully as she looked at the people standing by her. You wanted to believe that more than anybody.
Glenn stepped up next to her, looking ahead of him as he continued to walk, "Someone's ringing those bells. Maybe calling others." You nodded, still gazing around and walking as Andrea added on, "Or signaling that they found her."
Now, everyone was starting to pick up their pace as they ran in the direction Rick had guessed the bells were coming from. "She could be ringing them herself. C'mon," Rick said over his shoulder as the group started on the move again.
* * *
There was a bit more running and confusion about where the sound was coming from until the view of a clearing could be seen off in the distance. Rick and Shane were still in the lead and quickly started to pick their pace back up again, resulting in the group following.
They shoved back some overgrown branches that hung in their faces when they broke out of the thick forest that you all had been running through. Soon, you broke through the branches as well, looking out across the terrain.
There was a large church in the center of the clearing, surrounded by graves that had been covered in grass and weeds that had sprouted up around them.
Rustling from behind you were the others that were breaking through the treeline, but you only waited for Carol to come to your side before starting to make your way towards the large, abandoned building. Shane was talking about how that church had no steeple, but you had already started to run.
Eventually, you had passed up Carol, who was only going at a jog, but Daryl soon found his way next to you again as he started to sprint as well.
Shane and Rick were just behind the two of you, and the group followed closely behind them. Your arms pumped at your sides as you sprinted fully, eventually starting to even pull ahead of Daryl, but you needed to know if she was in there.
Once you started to get closer to the church, your pace slowed and the others started to catch up. No matter how much you wanted to burst through those doors, you wanted Carol to be with you if you found Sophia. No matter what state she was in.
Looking over your shoulder, Carol quickly jogged up to you, breathing heavily. Rick and Shane had pulled ahead of you by now, and Glenn had come up next to you as well. He looked over and locked his eyes with yours for a moment before you tore yours away and to the doors.
Daryl and Rick had climbed their way to the top of the stairs and were quietly starting to open the door. Your heart pounded, wanting badly for them to just open the doors, but you knew the risk of that.
Carol gripped your hand that she had taken in hers tightly before she began to walk towards the stairs and pulling you along with her.
Both of you just made it to the bottom as Daryl opened the door with his crossbow aimed up and Rick had ducked in, along with the redneck.
Quickly, Carol had started up the stairs with your hand still in hers. Glenn was still right next to you as all the three made it to the top of the stairs and looked inside the church. Quickly, your heart seemed to jump into your throat as you gazed around inside.
There were walkers in there, and one of them could have been Sophia. Your feet seemed to freeze in place for a moment as the fear started to register, but you forced yourself back before you thought too much about it.
Slowly, the walkers that were wandering in the rows of benches turned towards you with their hazy, rotting eyes locking on the people around you. It wasn't a second longer before you broke away from your aunt and Glenn to go take care of the monsters in the space ahead of you.
Quietly, you passed up Shane, who was starting to make his way down the middle of the aisle towards a walker who was coming to meet him. The taller man parked himself as he watched you storm towards the predator, not protesting as you took the responsibility and kill from him.
Your jaw clenched tightly as the anger and frustration came back, and now, you had found the perfect way to take it out. Your sword was still held in your hand and was raised over your head when you got close enough to the walker.
It let out a loud growl just before you brought the blade down on its head, splitting it down the center and separating its eyes from each other. The corpse crumbled to the ground before you, and you quickly pulled back your blade out of the thing's head.
Again, you raised the weapon and plunged it down into the corpse's head again, followed by another time. You were well aware that the walker was no more danger, but you had to take your anger out some way.
You had been continuing to strike the once deadly being over and over, not caring about anything else around you until a gentle hand rested on your shoulder.
Turning your head, you looked over your shoulder to Rick, who held a quiet and calm expression. Your chest rose and fell heavily as you stared back.
Slowly, you backed up with your bloody weapon hanging to your side. Rick lifted the hand from your shoulder, but you refrained from sheathing your sword. Instead, you began to look around at the church.
Everything looked so normal. The walls were still painted, and beautiful figurines still rested on pillars. Nothing in this church showed any effect from what the world was like outside. It was only when you looked back over your shoulder and to the open door did you remind yourself of what was happening.
You stepped back, watching as Carol slowly entered the church, looking around as she did. Tears showed in her eyes as she came to the realization that Sophia wasn't in there.
Slowly, you came to realize that as well, but part of you still didn't want to give up. "SOPHIA!" You closed your eyes tightly as Rick yelled at the top of his lungs and opened a door.
A bit disoriented, you wandered down the aisle again, looking at the ground. Daryl was just standing ahead of you, looking up at the large statue of Jesus on the cross, "Yo, J.C., you taking requests?"
The words were hazy in your mind as you heard them, and the only thing that brought you back fully was when something touched your shoulder, gripping it firmly. You looked over, meeting the redneck's hard gaze.
You lingered in each others' for a few moments as he made sure you were fully back and receptive before moving on.
Taking a moment, you followed after him slowly, going over to your aunt once more. "I'm telling you, it's not the church," you heard Shane say to Rick as you passed him, "It doesn't have a steeple."
Carol had her hand over her mouth, looking over to you as you came up to her slowly. You couldn't think of anything to say, so you said nothing. You stood next to her, looking down at your feet before something snapped your gaze up. Church bells, and much louder this time.
Everyone froze for a split second before everyone moved for the door at once. You took Carol's hand tightly and ran out of the church and down the stairs with everyone else, wanting to find out where that sound really was coming from.
Once you got to the bottom of the stairs, you followed Glenn and Daryl, who were running around to the side. Once you got around to the other side, your eyes when to where you were hearing the bells still.
A megaphone, wired up to a small box was tucked away in the corner of the roof. Glenn was already at the box, fiddling with the innards of the electrical box. Finally, he ripped out something, and the bells ceased.
Your gaze jumped between Daryl and Glenn, wanting an answer from either one of them. Daryl was panting heavily, pointing over his shoulder lazily, "A timer. It's on a timer."
You began to ache again, from your head down to your legs. You didn't think your heart could drop anymore.
That timer was the same timer that was inside your mind. Ever since you had lost Sophia, you had turned into this ticking time bomb. All of this letdown was just inching you closer to completely blowing up.
The hand gripping yours slowly fell away from yours, and you looked to your side. "I'm gonna go back in for a bit," Carol said, her voice as weak as you have heard it. It broke you.
Standing in silence, you watched as Carol went back to the stairs, slowly making her way back up them. Her leaving left the entire group in silence for a moment. You didn't have to be a rocket scientist to know that the entirety of the group's attention and focus was on what you would do next.
Slowly, you turned yourself to the church again before silently walking off towards the doors as well. Most of the group followed you as well. Now, you felt hollow. No weight, just hollow.
As you made your way up the steep stairs, you took no notice as the rest of the group followed shortly after you, besides a few others. You walked through the opened doors slowly, looking down the aisle again and at the large statue.
Carol stood in front of it, praying quietly. You thought of going to join her, but the more you hoped and wished for something, the farther away it seemed to stretch from your grasp.
Instead, you silently turned and walked towards one of the corners, stopping only when you didn't think your legs would carry you much longer.
Sighing quietly, you leaned back against the wall and slid down to the ground. Your eyes shut as you leaned your head back and controlled your heavy breathing.
Your eyes were slits as you watched Lori walk down the aisle towards Carol to join her and as the rest of the people filed into the church. Glenn was looking over at you but stayed standing next to Carl.
Andrea and Shane were still outside, but you could care less about where they needed to be, as long as they stayed safe. Carl walked away from Glenn and went over to his Dad, just as another figure was walking towards you.
You only gave the taller man a sideways stare as he came closer, but said nothing. Daryl came over to stand by you silently, leaning against the wall beside you with a loud exhale.
Again, you leaned your head back and closed your eyes, allowing yourself to enjoy the company that Daryl was giving you. You could tell that he knew what it was like to have a hope of finding someone, only for it to be crushed.
As you closed your eyes, you listened to your aunt quietly pray and keeping your focus on that and only that. After all, what else did you have to hold on to?
* * *
"Got to move here, man," Shane said, walking away from your small gathering under a tree in the cemetery. You were planning on making your way back to the highway, and searching a bit more as you did. You also thought that it was about time that you get back.
Spending time in a cemetery wasn't the best place for wondering if your cousin was alive or not. Besides, the sun was already starting to set, leaving the clearing in a warm yellow.
Carol had been silent after she finished praying, and had been staring off at the treeline ever since she had gotten outside. You would guess that she is one person who would want to stay here a wait a bit longer.
Everyone here looked exhausted, especially Glenn. He might be second thinking his choice to stay up with you all night. Shane and Rick were still talking as you were cleaning off your sword blade, sitting next to Carl, who had been eyeing your blade as you ran a cloth over it.
Sheepishly, you heard his voice, "C-Can I hold it?" At his question, you looked over with a serious and blank expression. He shook his head, smiling a bit, "I promise I'll be careful."
There was another moment before you set the cloth down and slid the flat side of the blade slowly along your hands.
Eventually, you were presenting the weapon as a queen would present a knight their blade. Carl's eyes sparkled as he reached out to take it by the handle, gently lifting it out of your hands that soon dropped to your sides.
"Whoa," Carl said as he stood up, obviously struggling to hold the heavy sword up in one hand. Lori had her eyes locked on you and Carl, them filling with worry as Carl waved the blade around gently. You looked back at her, nodding slightly to signal that you would make sure Carl wouldn't hurt himself or anyone else.
His little roleplay of a knight was short lived as Shane gave Rick a firm pat on the shoulder before turning towards the small gathering again.
All of the people's attention was turned to the man making their way towards them and leaving his partner standing and still looking at the trees.
"Y'all gonna follow the creek bed back, okay? Daryl, you're in charge. Me and Rick, we're just gonna hang back, search this area just another hour or so just to be thorough," Shane finished, parking himself in front of the group.
A faint sense of relief washed over you, but you knew that there were mixed beliefs on the subject. Daryl was one to speak out about his, "You're splitting us up? You sure?"
That was a thought. There always was the possibility of them getting lost, but you supposed that they would just go back to the church, and if they were gone for too long, you and the group would find them.
Rick came up to stand next to Shane silently, waiting for Shane's response. "Yeah," Shane said, looking down, then up quickly, "We'll catch up to you." There was short silence as people started to grab their bags. "I want to stay too."
Turning your head, your gaze landed on Carl who had stepped forward with your blade still in his hand. He looked from his father, back to his mother, and then back to his father again, "I'm her friend."
Shane looked over to Rick, who looked at Lori, who looked at Shane and Rick. There really was a lot of looking between all of them a lot of the time.
Eventually, Lori stepped forward and pulled Carl to her, making him turn to meet her eyes. She smiled softly, "Just be careful, okay?" Carl smiled up at her, nodding as much as he could when she put her hands on the sides of his face, "I will."
Lori smiled wider and kissed the top of his head, "When did you start growing up?" Soon, Lori backed away from Carl and Rick came up to meet her. They leaned in for a kiss, making Carl turn away, embarrassed by his parents. It wasn't long before they both pulled away and passed each other and you gaze back at Carl.
Slowly, you walked up to Carl, raising your hand and ruffling his hair slightly as you would Sophia's. "Hey, Lancelot," you said with a smile as he turned to you. Gesturing down to his hand, you looked at him with a small smile, "I'll need that back."
Carl looked down before handing back your weapon a bit grudgingly. You chuckled softly as you took it back, "Stay safe, okay?" He looked up at you with a bit of a smile, nodding quickly.
Footsteps coming from behind you made you turn around, meeting Rick's soft gaze as he came up to you both. You gave him a bit of a smile, before starting to walk back to the people who were starting to move.
"Here, take this," Rick said, catching you as you turned back around. You looked down at his hand to see him offering his gun to you, "You know how to use it?"
Looking back up, you shook your head and slid your sword back into your belt, "I'm not taking your gun and leaving you unarmed." Rick opened his mouth to protest against your decision but was cut off by a voice behind you that made you quickly turn.
"Here, I got a spare," Daryl said as he came up behind you, handing you a small handgun, "Take it."
Gratefully, you took the gun from him, your hand brushing against his as he handed it off before he walked off with one last glance in your direction.
Your gaze followed him for a while before turning back to Rick, who was looking back and forth between the two of you with raised eyebrows.
A larger smile crossed your face at his expression before sticking the small weapon in your belt, "What?" You asked that with a bit of a chuckle as Rick only shrugged with a small smile before turning and placing a hand on Carl's back.
You knew what Rick had been hinting at, but you quickly played it off as a joke. It was nothing more than a kind gesture, but even as you turned around, you found yourself still smiling.
Quickly, you cleared your throat as you walked on, returning your face to the normal expression. A scoff from behind you made you turn your head, meeting a very angry and disappointed looking Andrea.
Her jealous gaze met yours with an opened jaw, but you quickly turned around, smirking to yourself once more, but for different reasons. Maybe it was a bit imature, but you wouldn't lie that you had some satisfaction.
Still, both of you fell into the group that was starting to make its way silently back to the treeline and back to the highway with Daryl in the front and you in the back.
* * *
"So this is it?" Sweat had soaked through your shirt and was running down your forehead. You brought an arm up to try to wipe it away as your gaze turned to Carol when she said that.
The group had been searching for a few hours, but with no success. You couldn't deny that you had been second guessing this big plan to search the creek again. You watched as the group stopped and turned around to Carol, who had sat her self down on an overturned tree.
"This is the whole plan?" You heard her ask this again, hopelessly and weak. Even though it was still getting dark, you could tell that everyone had been the least bit grateful for the break.
Lori leaned on a tree, as did Daryl. "I guess the plan is to whittle us down into smaller and smaller groups," Daryl explained, and you turned to him to listen.
Andrea spoke up bitterly after him, "Carrying knives and pointy sticks." You stared at her through narrowed eyes, meeting her bitter gaze as she turned to you, "I see you have a gun."
Her tone was challenging, almost sounding like she was trying to threaten you. It made you chuckle. That made Andrea glare even more.
Leaning against a tree, you crossed your arms over your chest with a smile, "Why? You want it?"
Slowly, you got up from the tree you were leaning on and stalked over you her, getting if her face a bit and standing your ground once you got close enough. Your eyes narrowed to slits again as you hissed between your teeth, "I'm sick of the looks you're givin' me."
Pulling out the weapon, you thrust it out to her, waiting as she slowly took it out of your hands. The whole group stayed in silence as the tension hung in the air. Slowly, you back up, giving Andrea a glare still. You looked down at her mouth, which hung open.
Blankly, you gave one last jab, "Close your mouth. The flies will get in." You turned away, walking over to Carol quietly.
"Honey," Lori said, looking at you. Turning, you looked back, expressionless. "I can't imagine what you're going through and I would do anything to stop it. But you have got to stop blaming Rick."
Turning fully to her, you waited for her to go on. "It is in your face every time you look at him," Lori insisted, spiking anger inside of you again, but you stayed silent.
Lori shook her head and shrugged, "When Sophia ran, he didn't hesitate, did he? Not for a second." Her tone changed, and she raised her voice, but you stayed silent.
She looked around, shaking her head still, "I don't think that any of us would have gone after her the way he did or made the hard decisions that he had to make or that anybody could have done it any differently. Anybody?"
She looked around, challenge in her eyes as she asked that. Slowly, she looked back down and shook her head, "Y'all look to him and blame him when he's not perfect. You think you can do this without him go right ahead."
As you began to look back, you realized her gaze rested on you for a few moments as she said the last few words, "Nobody is stopping you."
Letting out a quiet sigh, you waited a while before looking over at Lori again. "I don't," you stated blankly. Lori looked up at you, waiting for you to go on. "I don't blame Rick," you finished, returning her stare.
There was another long moment of silence before you spoke again. "I was the one that told her to run. That was me. That's on me," you said, raising a hand to point up at yourself.
Again, there was a silence, and you began to shake your head again, "But I don't blame him. He did more than I could, and I've had my mistakes on how I react, but I don't blame him." You backed away, looking off ahead of you, biting your bottom lip for a while as you rested in the silence.
You felt the groups eyes on you but remained cool as you turned around, looking off in the direction of the highway, "We should keep moving."
Before anyone else replied, you started walking again, looking off, but at nobody else. The rustling behind you signaled that the rest of the group was coming along, but you didn't get far before you were stopped.
Something grabbed tightly around your hand, making you stop in your tracks. The rest of the group slowly passed you, with some of them giving you looks over their shoulder, but said nothing.
Eventually, the rest of the people were ahead of you and Daryl, who was still gripping your hand in his. He was leaning against the tree still, looking at you and waiting for you to turn your gaze to his. Slowly, and with a quiet sigh, you looked over at the man beside you.
His expression was one of understanding. You supposed he understood what you were going through more than anybody else there. You watched as he straightened up off of the tree, standing closer to you now.
"Best we can do for Sophia now is keep looking," he said blankly after another moment of silence. You still looked at him, nodding once slowly. He kept his gaze on you for a moment longer before tilting his head and slowly dropping your hand from his, "C'mon."
Then, just like before, both of you fell in line next to each other, silent. Still, even as you looked off, a strange sense of warmth crept through you.
The ghostings of Daryl's hand in yours still remained in your memory. But you couldn't think about that all too long. After all, there still was that small chance that you would find your little cousin.
Chapter 15: Chasing Echos
Chapter Text
"It was a gunshot," Lori stated firmly from where she was standing.
The rest of you had stopped and had turned around to look at the frightened woman. The sword hung from your hand, scraping the ground lightly as you turned around to Lori.
There were a few seconds of silence before someone decided they wanted to speak. "We all heard it," Daryl said plainly, obviously trying to get everyone else to start walking again.
Not long ago, all of you had heard a gunshot ring through the forest, sparking the alert of everyone. Though some people's concerns were stronger than others.
Lori turned around after that, looking at Daryl with wise, worried and certain eyes, "Why one? Why just one gunshot?"
That itself was strange and you had given that a lot of silent thought, but couldn't seem to come to any other conclusion than it being a walker. Still, using bullets was strange.
"Could have been a walker," Daryl replied, showing a bit of skepticism in his voice still, but you knew that he was still trying to move the group along back to the road.
Before you could turn around, Lori had already whirled around to face you, glaring straight on, "Don't patronize me. Rick wouldn't risk a gunshot to take down one walker. Or Shane, they'd do it quietly."
After that, Lori turned away again, and you fought back a loud sigh. You made brief eye contact with Daryl, who was openly showing his distaste and frustration in his facial expression.
"Shouldn't they have caught up with us by now?" Glenn shyly asked, looking around. You wanted to, but there really was no way to be frustrated with your friend. He only was looking out for them, and you guessed that Lori was doing the same thing.
Raising a hand up, you scratched the back of your neck as you looked up at the canopy.
Daryl was looking around as well before shaking his head, "There ain't nothin' we can do about it anyways. Can't run around these woods chasing echoes." You agreed with him.
The entire group had been chasing echoes since this morning, and it hadn't done anything besides remind you of the fact that Sophia could be anywhere.
By now, Lori was looking back at Daryl again. She once again challenged him, "So what do we do?"
Honestly, you didn't know how Daryl was keeping it together with this woman. She always seemed to be challenging someone with something or making calls and assumptions she really shouldn't have been making.
A soft sigh now did escape your lips, but it was only in the thought of calming down. You knew you really shouldn't be too jumpy. Besides, you had been pretty short ended when you first lost your cousin. She was only trying to make sure her family was safe. Same as you.
Daryl shrugged, "Same as we've been." Dropping your hand down, you rested it on the weapon you had sheathed in your belt.
"Beat the bush for Sophia and make our way back to the highway," he finished. You looked over to Lori, slowly walking over to her after you saw she looked worried.
Smiling softly, you forced your voice to be as optimistic as possible, "I'm sure they'll hook back up with us back at the R.V." By now, you were glancing around at everybody, trying to help Daryl as much as possible.
To both of your relief, Lori turned again, slowly. There was a hesitant but visible nod as she turned around and finally started walking. Apparently, your acting skills weren't as bad as you thought.
The rest of the group started to walk again, but you stayed back with Carol as Andrea came up to both of you. Your expression went blank again, not knowing what the blonde might say to you and your aunt, but it didn't look like she was about to start anything.
"I'm sorry for what you're going through," she said calmly, looking at both of you. That surprised you a little. She seemed to have completely dropped her scowl and immaturity. You could count that on the fact that she had gotten what she wanted.
She looked away a bit, gazing off into the trees, "I know how it feels." You only could stay silent, crossing your arms over your chest and watching. "I suppose you do," Carol said with a weak smile, "Thank you."
Andrea returned that with a small smile as well, but stayed silent, expecting and waiting for your aunt to go on. "The thought of her being out there by her self," she said with a pause, "It's the not knowing that kills me."
Turning back, your aunt shrugged and stared at Andrea, "I'm just praying that she doesn't end up like Amy."
Now, your gaze shifted over to your aunt, almost raising an eyebrow. That really wasn't something that she would say. She knew that too and caught it as she slapped a hand over her mouth.
Andrea's shoulders had dropped a bit, and Carol quietly reached out, gripping one, "Oh my-- That's the worst thing I've ever said." Andrea shook her head with a forced smile and looked down at her feet again.
"We're all hoping and praying with you... For what it's worth," She said, looking back up to Carol. You were just about to round them when you saw Daryl roll his eyes and walk up to them.
"I'll tell you what it's worth," he said, his voice stern and firm. "Not a damn thing. It's a waste of time, all this hoping and praying." Both if the women before him had turned, and your focus was back on him now.
"Cause we're gonna locate that little girl, and she's gonna be just fine."
He quickly glanced over at you before starting to back away, looking around with a furrowed brow, "Am I the only one zen around here? Good Lord..."
With that, he had turned around and started walking off again. Your eyes followed him for a while before glancing over at Glenn.
Simultaneously, a small smile crept over both of your faces before both of you had started walking again.
* * *
Your chest rose and fell heavily, and your legs felt like they were about to give way underneath you. Piled on top of all of that, your ankle had been acting up again.
Like before, you had been walking for hours, and like before again, no results. You ran a hand over your hot head, pausing for a while as the group had taken a break. "We'll lose the light before too long," Daryl said, looking at the group, "I think we should call it."
You had feared to hear those words, but there was no room in your chest for your heart to drop anymore. No matter how much you wanted to stay out and look around more, you stayed completely silent, not wanting to make an argument that would put the group in danger.
"Let's head back," Lori said, glancing back at Daryl. He gave her a curt nod, but your aunt seemed a little more worried.
"We'll pick up again tomorrow," she said, but it sounded like more of a pleading question to you. Lori quickly nodded, glancing back, "Yeah, we'll find her tomorrow."
There was a long moment of silence as Carol and Lori stared at each other, and you could only guess that they were trying to send some mental hope to each other.
That little telepathy didn't last too long before Daryl whistled, bring the focus back. He tilted his head, and the group was quick to fall into motion again and started heading back to the highway now.
As you walked, you were oblivious to the fact that your eyes never left the leader of your small parade.
In the beginning, you only saw him as something to look at besides your extremely scared and worried aunt, but you were slowly starting to notice more and more of him.
Mindlessly, your eyes trailed over his formed and muscular arms that held his crossbow tightly. From there, you went to his broad shoulders that framed his strong back. After that, your gaze traveled around his body, eventually, as your eyes explored more, they--
Blinking rapidly, you snapped your gaze away from him, stumbling over a tree root that was sticking up. Your shoulder knocked into Glenn, you had turned to check on what was happening.
You were quick to regain your balance and control of your mind. That hadn't happened since you had been intoxicated.
Now, you had confused and frustrated yourself but blamed it on the heat. After all, it did seem to be getting a bit hotter out.
"How much farther?" You asked, resting your hand on your sword and gripping the handle tightly. You swallowed, clearing your throat softly when you noticed that speaking seemed to be a bit harder at the moment.
"'Bout a hundred yards or so," Daryl replied, looking over his shoulder at you, "As the crow flies." You quickly shifted your gaze away from his, coming to the conclusion that the sudden burst in temperature wasn't the air around you. You weren't about to catch yourself checking him out again, on purpose or not.
"Too bad we're not crows," Andrea said breathily. The group went silent again after that, and that was something you were thankful for.
"Glenn, [Y/N], take our left flank," Daryl said, turning over his shoulder a bit again, "You might be able to catch something."
You didn't see how that would help, but he was the tracker, and he was helping you find your cousin. You nodded, looking over to Glenn as you both split away silently.
Weaving around the trees, you got about thirty feet away before looking back to your partner.
Pointing ahead of you, you spoke softly, as to not alert any walkers that might be around, "If we take this route tomorrow, maybe we can--" You cut yourself off as you looked back at Glenn, who seemed to be smiling smugly.
"What?" You asked, furrowing your brow. He chuckled softly, gazing around, "Nothin'." His smirk told you otherwise. Rolling your eyes, you looked around, "You're a horrible liar. You know that, right?"
You felt Glenn's gaze on you, so you turned back with a straight and expectant face. He chuckled softly before tilting his head, "What was that back there?" Your brow furrowed, knowing exactly what he was implying, but playing dumb, "I was just a little clumsy, what about it?"
Instantly, you knew that you should have dropped it besides continuing it, but Glenn jumped on it.
"I saw," he said, calmly looking back at you. Rolling your eyes seemed impossible to keep hidden now, "I just tripped. Really? You gonna give me a hard time about tripping?"
Distracting yourself, you drew your sword out and swung it around mindlessly. "I saw how you looked at Daryl," Glenn pressed on, still smiling softly.
You scoffed, turning around to him and raising an eyebrow, "Seriously? We're supposed to be looking for Sophia, and I'm the last person to be looking for or at anything else besides her."
Slowly, you turned around, sighing and waiting for the sound of footsteps to follow up behind you.
"Besides," you said, softening your voice, "Even if I was, I--" Again, you were cut off mid-sentence by screaming from somewhere off in the trees, and you could instantly recognize it.
Andrea was shrieking at the top of her lungs. Without a moment of hesitation, you and Glenn took off back towards the group, leaping over knocked-down trees and bushes that were laid across your path.
"Andrea?!" Glenn yelled out, running ahead of you a bit. Figures of people running through the trees were just ahead of you, all heading in the same direction. She sounded frantic, and no matter what exchanges you had, you still hoped that she was alright.
As you got closer, and even over the sound of sticks breaking under your feet as you ran, you heard screaming and growling.
Worry set in, and it didn't take you long to hear something else, but a little more unfamiliar. The rhythmic beating of horse hooves, but you didn't think that you actually were hearing that. You were more concerned with the woman still screaming.
Even though you were running as fast as possible, she still seemed far off and obviously wasn't with the rest of the people ahead of you. She must have split off as well.
Eventually, the screaming didn't seem to be coming from too far off, but you were just waiting to hear a gunshot. She still had the gun, didn't she?
By now, you and Glenn were caught back up with the rest of your group, minus Andrea, you were beginning to see her. You also saw the walker attacking her, towering over the woman who was knocked to the ground. You also saw something off in the trees, racing towards you.
The sight was strange but had provided an explanation for the horse hooves.
Some strange figure on a horse leapt out of the treeline, wielding a baseball bat as they raced towards the woman being attacked on the ground.
Another spark of worry lit up inside of you on what they might do, but you stopped and watched in confusion and relief when the walker attacking your group mate was taken out by the baseball bat that the horse-rider was carrying.
A woman on the horse rode on, making a sharp turn and locking her eyes on your group, who was still running up to Andrea.
She whirled around, pulling her brown horse to a stop before you, "Lori? Lori Grimes?" Her voice was strong and level, overlayed by a southern accent, and her hair was a little over shoulder length and the same shade of brown as her horse.
She sounded frantic, but calm and in control at the same time. The only real question you had-- That you could be sure everyone else had-- was why she wanted Lori and who was she?
"I'm Lori," she said, stopping in front of the woman and looking up with her usually wide and worried eyes.
The girl on the horse was quick to follow up with an explanation of why she was there, turning back to the woman below her. "Rick sent me, you have to come now," the woman said, sliding the baseball bat back into the holster.
Your brow furrowed as you looked over to Daryl, who was looking back at you, before glancing back at the strange woman.
"What?" Lori asked, more and more worry making her way into her voice. "There's been an accident," the woman explained quickly, "Carl's been shot."
Another pang shot through your chest at the thought of that little boy being shot. That must have been the gunshot, but who pulled the trigger?
There wasn't enough time to map out a logical solution, and you just stayed quiet and waited for the woman to continue.
"He still alive, but you have to come now," she demanded, holding the reins tightly. There was another moment of silence, to which the woman became more impatient, "Rick needs you, just come!"
Lori nodded softly before quickly struggling to get her bag off of her shoulders and drop it to the ground.
Your gaze snapped over to her, furrowing your brow at her actions, but Daryl was the first to voice it.
"Whoa, whoa! We don't know this girl!" He said loudly, pointing at her. Still, Lori ignored him and walked over to the other woman. "You can't get on that horse!"
Again, she paid no mind to what Daryl was saying and mounted the horse behind the other woman, who was still speaking to all of you, "Rick said you had others on the highway? That big traffic snarl?"
You stood, still silent and looked over to Glenn when he answered quietly, nodding his head, "Uh-huh."
She gripped the reins tightly and started to turn her horse around, speaking over her shoulder now, "Backtrack to Fairburn Road. Two miles down is our farm. You'll see the mailbox. The name is Greene."
She spilled that all out quickly, and even more quickly turned her steed around and pulled the reins, "Hyah!"
Just like that, both of them set off back into the woods, and your eyes followed them. They had left the group in silence and confusion of what had just happened.
Shortly after, a soft growling came from beside you and tore your eyes away from the two people on the horse.
"Shut up," Daryl said bluntly before raising his crossbow and firing it, sending an arrow straight through the monster's skull.
After that, he began to stalk off again towards the highway, and Glenn quickly followed, asking questions and rambling on what just happened. You stayed back, looking over to Andrea, who was still on the ground.
Her chest was rising and falling heavily, and there were tears streaming down her cheeks as she cried silently.
Slowly, your eyes trailed down to right in front of her, where a small handgun was resting in the grass by her feet.
There was a long pause before you stepped forward and leaned down, picking up the small weapon.
From the ground, Andrea glared at you through teary eyes as you shoved the gun back into your belt and walked off. You could feel her glare digging into the back of your head, but you could care less about it.
Apparently, giving her a gun wouldn't help her much, so why waste it? After all, you didn't like the idea of giving her that in the first place.
* * *
"Shot? What do you mean shot?" You swung your leg over the guardrail, walking past Dale as he asked that frantically. You waited for someone else to answer that question as you looked around for T-Dog, but couldn't see him anywhere.
When you had all came back, there was no sign of Sophia or any tracks that Daryl could find, and you already hadn't been put in the best mood. You just wanted to check now if your friend was alright or not.
The rest of the group stepped onto the highway shortly after you. Well, what was left of the group. You tossed your bag onto the hood of a car to give your sore shoulder a rest while you waited for someone else to answer the question.
"I don't know, Dale. I wasn't there," Glenn answered quickly and breathily. He passed the older man, looking over his shoulder as he answered, "All I know is that this chick rode out of nowhere like Zoro on a horse and took Lori."
You slid your sword back into your belt, not taking your eyes off of the older man, who looked just as confused as you all had been before.
He turned to Daryl, raising his eyebrows as he asked accusingly, "You let her?" You sighed quietly and rolled your eyes before getting up from leaning off of the car hood.
Daryl looked just as frustrated as you had been as he answered Dale's question, "Climb down out of my asshole, man. Rick sent her." He walked past the old man and started towards the car you were standing by, "She knew Lori's name and Carl's."
He set his stuff down next to yours and shuffled through it, pulling out a water bottle and leaning on the hood next to you.
Dale turned to Andrea, who stalked past him as well, "And I heard screams. Was that you?" He didn't get an answer back from her, but still got one from Glenn, "She got attacked by a walker."
She sent you a glare as she walked past you, but you paid no mind as you unscrewed the top off of the water bottle you had yourself and took a drink.
Dale turned around, looking worried, "Andrea, are you alright?"
The latch on the door of the RV clicked, and Andrea turned around. Her face showed that she was tired, and she only shook her head silently before opening the door and slamming it behind her.
Drama queen.
You thought to yourself as you put the cap back on your water bottle. Sighing, you looked at Dale, "How's T-Dog?"
His expression didn't seem all that hopeful, and you didn't expect to hear any good news, "He's got a fever. I gave him some ibuprofen and it helped a bit, but there's no doubt that that wound is infected."
You shook your head, scoffing, "Perfect fucking time to run out of rubbing alcohol." You sighed, looking at Dale still, "Did you find any other medical supplies? Doesn't even have to be medical alcohol. Push comes to shove I'll use what we got."
Dale looked down again, shaking his head, "I don't think pink water is gonna help that infection any, but it's the only thing closest to booze we have at the moment." He let out a long sigh as well, "But nothing else."
Raising a hand up, you put it on the top of your head and nodded, sighing heavily.
The latch from the RV clicked again, and Andrea stepped out again and obviously had collected herself a bit.
She came to stand by Dale, putting her hands on her hips and talking firmly, "That woman, she told us about a farm. We double back down to Fairburn road and look for a mailbox with the name Greene on it."
She nodded, "That's where Lori and Carl are." There was a long pause, but Dale was the first one to speak, "Okay. I think it's time we start to really talk about moving someplace off of this highway."
He caught both of the looks from you and your aunt but was quick to respond, "T and I, we've turned this place inside out and there's nothing here anymore. Plus, we've lost half of us already."
Your stomach began to ache at the thought of leaving here and leaving Sophia with no knowledge of where you might have gone to.
There was a long and tense pause before Carol's frail voice softly spoke up, "I won't do it. We can't just leave."
Dale walked over and leaned on the side of the RV, looking down at the highway before him, "Carol, the group is split. We're scattered and weak." His voice was filled with reason, but he didn't sound like he was going to change his mind about what he was saying.
You turned to him, narrowing your eyes, "What if she comes back and we're not here?"
Shaking your head, you kept your eyes on him, "What will she do? It could happen."
As you spoke, something began to horrify you. A slow, painful realization slinked into your head, making you trail off in thought.
You came to the realization that you didn't even believe what you were saying anymore. You actually didn't believe that there was a good possibility that she would find her way back to you.
But quickly, you blinked and shook your head, unable to let yourself think about that anymore. You were tired and the group was weak. You were just freaking yourself out now.
"If Sophia found her way back here and we were gone," Glenn piped up, coming to stand next to you, "That would be awful."
You looked over at him, and he looked back at you with support and belief in his eyes, mixing with the smallest spark of hope.
Gratefulness and disappointment sprouted inside you. You were grateful that he was standing by you in your argument. And you were disappointed in yourself for seeing that someone else believed that they would find your little cousin more than you did.
"Okay," Daryl said from beside you, nodding and gazing around, "We gotta plan for this." You looked back at him, waiting for him to continue on.
His eyes connected with yours for a while, confidence, and coolness resting in them as he spoke with a level voice.
"I say tomorrow morning is soon enough to pull up stakes," he explained, "Give us a chance to rig a big sign, leave her some supplies."
A long breath of air escaped your lungs, and you looked down at your feet.
There was really nothing else you could do for her if you all were leaving, no matter how hard you tried to think of any other way.
Daryl continued on, but you were unaware that his eyes rested on you as he said the following words.
"I'll hold here tonight, stay with the RV." Your gaze snapped up, locking with his for a while, and staying as Dale spoke, "If the RV is staying, I am too."
A short silence spread around the group, and you tore your eyes away from the man you couldn't seem to stop looking at ever since recently, "No way you guys are staying without me."
Forcing your eyes away, you looked at your aunt instead, who was smiling softly at everyone, "Thank you. Thank you so much."
Daryl nodded softly before looking at the ground. Glenn looked around, shrugging, "Well, if you're all staying then--"
Dale held up a hand, cutting him off, "Not you Glenn, you're going." You turned to him as well, staying silent as you waited for the exchange to continue.
He pointed to the car you were by, looking at Glenn still, "Take Carol's Cherokee." A scoff came from Glenn as he looked around, obviously frustrated, "Me? Why is it always me?"
Dale kept his voice level and reasonable as he explained to Glenn what he needed to do, "You need to find that farm, reconnect with our people and see what's going on, but most importantly, you need to get T-Dog there."
He pointed off, directing your eyes to a huddled figure that you hadn't noticed before.
It was your friend, covering himself with a large blanket and shaking softly. Your eyes widened a bit, but Dale continued on with what he was saying, "This is not an option."
There was a long pause, and your eyes didn't leave him. "That cut has gone from bad to worse," Dale explained, "He has a very serious blood infection. Get him to that farm. See if they have any antibiotics. Because, if not... T-Dog will die, no joke."
Pity welled in you, piling onto all of the guilt and worry you already had. You hardly noticed as Daryl walked past you and went over to his motorcycle, silent as ever. You only turned your gaze back to him when you couldn't bear to look at the shriveled and shaking figure of your once strong and healthy friend.
"Keep your oily rags off my brother's bike," Daryl said, throwing a dirty cloth back at Dale, who caught it with a furrowed brow.
The redneck looked back down and began to shuffle through a satchel in the back, gaining the attention of the rest of the group. It didn't take long for him to straighten up and walk back to the circle with something in his hand that you had been dying to find.
A huge plastic bag of little orange prescription bottles was set up onto the hood of the car that you were still next to.
Daryl quickly opened it, and your eyes watched in shock as he rummaged through it, "Why'd you wait 'til now to say anything? Got my brother's stash." He kept looking around, speaking to himself as he did, "Crystal, X. Don't need that..."
After a moment, he pulled out a large, half-filled bottle of little tablets and threw it over to Glenn, "Got some kick-ass painkillers."
He caught them and quickly started reading the label. Daryl reached back into the bag and pulled out another before tossing it to Dale, "Oxycycline."
After that, he turned to you, "Not the generic stuff neither. It's first class." He shrugged and looked around as he spoke, "Merle got the clap on occasion."
Again, he looked at you before pushing the bag towards you a bit, "Take what you need." You locked eyes for a while before he turned away and started off towards his motorcycle again.
Still, your gaze followed him for a while before you caught Glenn, who had that same smile on his face as before. Your expression instantly hardened as you turned back to the bag and started to look through it silently.
Dale and Glenn walked past you, going over to T-Dog, who was looking back at the group as well, but saying nothing as he did.
Still, you couldn't help but silently smile at yourself as you looked down at the bottles of medicine.
Yes, you were extremely happy that your friend had a fighting chance, but you knew deep down that you weren't just smiling about that alone.
* * *
Running your hand through your hair, you shut your eyes tightly but were unable to escape the soft sound of your aunt's crying as she lay on the bed in the back room.
Metal clinking came from beside you as you leaned against the wall of the RV, gazing up at the ceiling above you in thought about nothing specific. You were just trying as hard as possible to keep from focusing on the crying.
No matter how much you had tried, sleep seemed to refuse to come to you. Worry ate away at you every time you tried to sit down and relax, so you thought it was just better to keep awake.
Andrea didn't look like she was able to sleep either and was working on one of the guns she had found in the bag that Shane had left behind. The thought of them made you worry too. Especially about Carl.
Still, there was nothing to do besides sit and wait in silence.
You had cleaned your sword about thirty times to the point where it looked more like a mirror than a weapon. You'd sharpened it and polished it, and had run out of ideas after that.
Shuffling and rustling from the makeshift bed Daryl was laying in caught your attention, making your head turn. He had sat up and was looking at your aunt, whose shoulders were still shaking from time to time. Your eyes narrowed a bit as you waited for his next action.
He didn't seem to be looking like he was about to scold her for keeping him awake, but he didn't look all that sympathetic either.
Eventually, he turned on his side and pushed himself off of the ground from his sitting position, and you watched him through narrowed eyes.
He walked into the main sitting room and to the booth that Andrea was sitting in silently, and reached over to grab his crossbow. He said nothing as he slung it over his shoulder and looked down at the woman fiddling with a gun.
"I need my clip now," he said quietly. Andrea reached down without even looking at him and handed him what he asked for.
He took it quickly and loaded his handgun before turning around. He paused when he saw you, but his expression didn't change. He stepped forward and spoke softly to you, "I'm gonna walk the road, look for the girl."
You both looked at each other for a few moments, staying silent as you looked down and Daryl looked back at Carol, who had turned to gaze out of the back room and to the both of you.
He nodded softly to her before looking back at you, locking onto your gaze. You stared back, silent and unable to express how thankful you really were. Plus, this gave you the perfect opportunity to go out and look again as well.
There was another moment before Daryl passed you, and you were left staring across the room at the other wall.
Andrea was looking up at the both of you, and your gaze shifted to her.
Quietly, you pulled the gun out from your belt and walked over, placing it on the table in front of her with a curt nod. She looked down from the weapon, then back up at you for a moment before you turned around and headed out of the vehicle.
Closing the latch behind you, you gained Daryl's attention.
He was standing a few feet away from the RV and stopped a while for you to catch up to him.
Drawing your sword, you nodded. He did the same before looking up at Dale, "Gonna walk the road. Shine some light in the forest, give her something to look at if she's out there."
You didn't look up at him as you held your smaller flashlight down by your side.
"You think that's a good idea right now?" You turned back with narrowed eyes at Dale's question, but before you could answer, someone already had.
"Dale," Andrea said from the RV door, shaking her head before looking at the both of you and beckoning you on before turning and entering the RV again.
Turning around, you fell in next to Daryl again, keeping your eyes forward and scanning the wreckage for any walkers. Both of you stayed in silence for a long while, only speaking when you got to the trees.
"Do you think we're gonna find her?" You said, turning your gaze to the man beside you. You couldn't help the fact that your voice wasn't as strong as it really should have been, but you didn't care.
Asking for help wasn't something that you were too keen on doing, but right now, you needed help hoping.
Shortly after, Daryl turned to you and pointed the light up at you, studying your expression with a furrowed brow.
A few moments later, he dropped the light back down to his side and shined it around while responding, "Wouldn't be out here if I didn't think so."
It was a while longer before he spoke again, "What the hell's wrong with you people? We just started looking." You could tell that this was just his way of providing any kind of comfort, and you were still grateful for that.
He shrugged, looking around still, "It ain't the mountains of Tibet neither. It's Georgia. She could be holed up in a farmhouse somewhere. People get lost and survive. Happens all the time."
Sighing, you shook your head a bit, unable to shake the worry from you, "She's only twelve."
There was a small pause as you both gave a quick look at each other.
"Hell," Daryl said, "I was younger than her and I got lost."
As you walked beside him, you looked over at him, raising an eyebrow and silently wanting him to go on. He looked over for a while before looking around again, "Spent nine days in the woods eating berries and wiping my ass with poison oak."
Again, you looked back over at him, allowing the least bit of hope into your voice once more, "They found you?"
He was the first to break his eye contact with you, but yours remained on him.
"My dad was off on a banger with some waitress," he said, avoiding the question a bit. "Merle was doing another stint in Juvie," he shook his head after he said, "Didn't even know I was gone."
There was another long pause between you and him before he looked over at you, his voice optimistic in a way, "Found my way back, though."
Your head snapped back over to him, just wanting to hear and be reassured that there was the smallest bit of hope left for her.
Before Daryl looked away and continued, you saw the smallest spark of relief in his expression, but you couldn't be sure in the darkness.
"Went straight into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich," he said coolly, "No worse for wear."
Slowly, you began to feel the hope that you once had before seep back into you.
"'Cept my ass itched something awful," the man next to you said casually, making you snicker a bit. You raised your hand up, trying to play it off as just clearing your throat, but eventually ended up chuckling quietly.
"I'm sorry, that is a terrible story," you said while chuckling still, looking over to Daryl.
As you looked over at him, a small smile spread across his lips before laughing softly and looking down at the ground.
You looked down as well, and Daryl playfully nudged your arm when you didn't stop laughing, even though he was still smiling himself.
"Only difference is that Sophia's got people looking for her," he said as he looked at you, nodding softly, "I'd call that an advantage."
Both of you slowed your walk, keeping eye contact for a while. You still had a smile on your lips, and Daryl had the tracings of one on his.
Both of you stood still for a second, staring at each other. Long enough for it to become noticeable to both of you.
You snapped your gaze away and looked at the ground before to the trees. He did the same, pointing off to a small path, "Let's go that way, then we can circle back here and cover some more ground."
You followed his finger, nodding quickly and answering, "Yeah."
Neither of you wasted any more time before starting off, side by side again as you both walked into the tree line, shining your lights around in search for Sophia.
Your eyes darted around the trees, gripping your sword tightly as it grazed the ground beneath you.
Daryl held his crossbow close to him, glancing around the trees and to the ground, trying to map out any tracks while you kept a look out for anything else that might prove a danger to you or to him.
After both of you had been walking for a while, there was a soft rustling of trees that made both of you snap into a tense state. Both of you continued to creep forward, close to each other and ready to cover the other in a heartbeat if needed.
Eventually, the small path cleared the way to a tent resting in the middle of the trees, but this one looked much different from the one before.
Both of you still walked forwards slowly, your eyes being directed away as one of the tree branches shook violently.
Furrowing your brow, you aimed your flashlight up, half expecting to see someone crouched in the tree, but the sight was completely different. Your eyes widened as you saw a walker danging from the tree with a noose tied around its neck.
It swung from side to side, reaching and groping at the air as it hissed and growled. "What the hell?"
Daryl spoke quietly as he walked closer, aiming his flashlight up as well. Your jaw hung open, listening to the gagged groans and sounds from the strung-up creature.
Daryl leaned forward, squinting to read a small note, "Got bit
Daryl leaned forward, squinting to read a small note, "Got bit. Fever hit. World gone to shit, might as well quit."
He backed away after that, looking back up as he took his place beside you, "Dumbass didn't know enough to shoot himself in the head. Turned himself into a big swinging piece of bait. And a mess."
Out of nowhere, your stomach turned upside down, which was weird for you. Normally, your stomach was pretty strong, but something about this was too sickening for you.
You placed the back side of your hand that was gripping your flashlight over your mouth, swallowing some bile that shot up your throat before it could spill all over the ground.
"You alright?" Daryl asked, turning around to you and shining his flashlight at you.
Slowly, you straightened up and blinked rapidly, "Trying not to puke." You shook your head, blinking still.
Daryl turned around, looking back up at the walker in the tree, "Go ahead if you gotta."
Coughing softly, you shook your head again, "No, I'm fine."
The back of your throat stung from the stomach acid that had come up, but you didn't feel like throwing up again, "Let's just talk about something else for a moment."
Scratching the back of your neck, you looked over at Daryl, who was still looking up, "Where'd you learn to shoot?" The only response you got from him was a shrug before a soft reply, "Gotta eat."
There was another small pause, but Daryl followed up quickly after, "That's one thing these walkers and us have in common. I guess this is the closest he's been to food since he turned."
Once again, the pain in your stomach came back, but he still continued on. "Hanging up there like a big pinata," he said calmly before stepping forward and finally getting you to look back at the walker when he pointed.
"Other geeks came and ate all the flesh off of his legs." That set it off.
Once again, the bile came shooting up, but this time, you bent over and coughed up the trail mix that you had found from before.
You groaned, wiping a hand over your mouth before couching again, keeping your hands on your knees, "I thought we were changing the subject."
You looked up, to which Daryl looked away again, "I call that payback for laughing about my itchy ass." He looked back at you, smiling softly.
By now, you knew that was on purpose, which made you smile and shake your head a bit, "Asshole."
He smirked playfully at you before turning and looking back at the swinging figure. "There wasn't a lot that came up," you said, straightening up, "Can't tell if that's a good thing or not."
Daryl hummed in response to that before turning around, "Let's head back." Looking over your shoulder, you aimed your flashlight up, "Aren't you gonna..."
He turned around a few feet behind you, looking up and shaking his head, "No. He ain't hurting nobody. Ain't gonna waste an arrow either."
There was a pause, and you thought about that too. You sighed, looking back up again, though it didn't make you as sick feeling as last time.
"He made his choice," Daryl continued from behind you, "Opted out. Let him hang." You nodded briefly after that and turned around as well.
There was another long pause, and you found yourself slowly walking forward. "You still think we can find Sophia?"
The question from Daryl made you turn around, catching you by surprise.
"Just a question," he said with a soft tone. You opened your mouth, but if you were truthful, you couldn't find the answer.
Sighing, you closed your eyes, letting your shoulders drop, "An answer, then I can ask you something. Fair?"
A curt nod was a response from Daryl, but his eyes never left yours.
Sighing, you thought for a moment longer before turning fully to Daryl, "I'm trying. I am. For Carol, but I'm trying to make myself believe it."
You nodded, shrugging at the same time, "It's hard sometimes, but I need to be strong. If Carol's sees I've given up as well, what does that leave her?"
There was a long silence that was only filled by the hissing of the walker and rustling of the trees. Daryl's eyes still locked with yours for a while before he tilted his head, "C'mon."
You nodded, sliding the sword in your hand back into the belt loop before starting off down the trail again with Daryl.
There was a long pause between the two of you before Daryl turned to you, "What was it?"
Turning your head, it took a moment for you to remember that you had a question. Quietly, and a bit hesitantly, you asked and turned to him, "What was Merle like?"
That made Daryl look at you, but not turn to you. He gave you a bit of a sideways stare that was completely unreadable. For a moment, you almost thought that you had gone too far.
Shifting your gaze away, you opened your mouth to tell him to forget it, but he beat you to it. "Merle was the toughest son of a bitch you'd ever meet," he said dryly, "He busted out of that building he got locked to with only one hand."
Your gaze snapped over to him, eyes wide, "He's alive?"
There wasn't a readable expression from Daryl when you looked at him, and he didn't even look back at you when he answered, "Far as I know."
When he answered, he didn't seem worried. Really, it was the opposite. He seemed confident in the fact that his brother was alive.
You turned back to the trail ahead of you, just able to make out the highway through a line of thin trees. You let out a faint sigh, knowing that this was just another search where you had come up empty-handed.
Out of nowhere, you felt something grip your hand tightly, making you stop in your tracks and turn to your companion. He had stopped and was looking at you, stern, but understanding at the same time.
"Promise me somethin'," he said, almost sounding demanding, but kind in his own way. You locked eyes with him, waiting for him to continue on.
"As long I believe my brother's still out there," he said, tilting his head, "You keep believing that little girl's still out there, and we're gonna find her."
There was another long moment as you both still stood hand in hand, gazing at each other. Daryl still looked at you expectantly, waiting for a response.
Slowly, you felt your cheeks tugging your lips into a soft smile as you nodded. Daryl returned that with an even smaller one and nodded, "Okay."
Both of you stayed hand in hand, gripping the other's tightly as you walked back onto the highway and started weaving through the cars. Your eyes were glued down to the ground in front of you, but your mind was on the hand in yours.
You held his hand tightly, but you felt it more as clinging to hope. The hope he had given you more than anything else.
Chapter 16: Better on my Own
Chapter Text
The next morning, you all were on the move again, no matter how much you wanted to protest against it. You knew that the group had to move on and that they were weak without the rest of them.
Carol was the one to protest the most, even saying that she would stay back alone if she had to, but you were able to talk her out of it.
Still, you had brought it up yourself, but Dale and Daryl were quick to protest against that. Dale not wanting any more of the group split, and Daryl not wanting to leave you behind on your own. Well, that was at least what it sounded like Daryl was trying to say.
But, you withdrew and went along with them, grudgingly as ever, but silent.
Like Daryl had said the day before, you all ridged a sign. Using one of the many cars, you used a bottle of spray paint you had to write a message on the windshield.
You stacked supplies around the car and even left your knife on the hood of the car to give her something to defend herself with.
Still, even with all of that, you worried and hated the fact that you were leaving, but overall that you didn't want to put the group at risk.
You chose a car to drive alone, just needing to be alone with your thoughts and needing a break from the sobbing that filled the RV from time to time.
You followed behind Daryl, who was on his motorcycle, with the RV behind you. You were following the directions of the woman that had found you all earlier.
Hopefully, she wasn't leading you all on some wild goose chase and had kidnapped the other half of your group.
Great, now you had another thing to worry about.
Sighing softly to yourself, you gripped the steering wheel tighter and shifted your weight in the seat. You just wanted to get to where ever the other half of your group was and more so, wanted to make sure that they were all alright.
But, more than anything else, you wanted to know if Carl was okay.
You sighed once again, more heavily this time, but out of slight relief.
Sure enough, off in the distance, a barbed-wire fence stretched over a small hill that you were climbing up. That at least proved that what that woman was talking about actually existed.
Once again, you turned your attention back to the road, forcing yourself not to press the pedal to the floor of the car. You were still able to keep your cool, and followed close behind the man in front of you.
Hell, you didn't notice it, but you were also forcing your eyes from him.
In the process, you saw a cluster of familiar people standing under a shady tree but you still couldn't see them clearly.
As you turned the corner and drove closer to them, your eyes caught a few people that you recognized, but not the others. You didn't have time to decipher anymore of the others, now that you had reached the end of the driveway.
Slowing down, you pulled your vehicle to the side, looking up at the large and almost normal looking house ahead of you.
For a building in this, you could tell that this place was definitely not hit very hard by the sudden epidemic. You put the car in park, gazing around at all of the new and unfamiliar faces that were soon making their way towards you.
You let a heavy breath escape your lips, and gave your weapon one last tight squeeze before opening the door up and stepping out.
Looking around, you saw the rest of your group, minus Carl. It worried you a little, but it didn't mean that he was dead. You weren't about to jump to conclusions anytime soon.
Along with them, you saw a whole lot of unfamiliar people, glaring back at you with as much suspicion as they were receiving.
Your eyes darted around them, always seeming to find their way back to Daryl before the screen door swung open.
Four people exited, one right after the other. Rick, Lori, some old guy, and T-Dog. You were happy to see T-Dog up on his feet, but the suspicion still gripped you tighter.
Rick looked at Dale, to Daryl, to you, to the rest of the people behind you. He was standing, but you could tell that he was pretty lightheaded, judging by the light swaying back and forth.
There was another long moment of silence before Dale stepped up, staring at Rick and asking what you were dying to. "How is he?"
Rick didn't seem to give much of an answer in his facial expression, and it was Lori who quickly answered, "He'll pull through. Thanks to Hershel and his people."
"And Shane," Rick finally said, nodding, "We would have lost Carl if not for him."
Quickly, your eyes shifted over to Shane, who was standing with his shoulders hunched a bit with an even more unreadable expression.
There was a long moment of silence before you looked at Dale, who had stepped forward to wrap his arms around Rick. Carol had darted forward as well, falling into a warm embrace with Lori, who both hugged each other tightly.
You looked back to T-Dog, who was smiling at you warmly.
Silently, you walked forward, meeting him as he walked towards you and both wrapping your arms around each other tightly. You smiled and laughed softly, glad to know that your friend and Carl were going to be okay.
Shortly after, you both pulled back and smiled at each other for a moment before you looked over to Glenn. He was smiling widely at you as well and walked up to you.
Again, you quickly met him in the middle and folded your arms around the slightly shorter man. You patted his back before pulling away and looking over at Rick.
He looked back at you with a soft smile, beginning to walk over to you already. You heard him let out a content sigh as you pulled each other into a tight, friendly, and relieved embrace.
"How'd it happen?" You asked that as you both pulled away from each other, backing away. He shook his head a bit with a cool smile and response, "Hunting accident."
Rick chuckled and shrugged lightly, "All just a stupid accident." You still smiled before looking over at who you assumed was Hershel. He didn't show any expression himself. All these people were completely stone-faced.
Still, even if these people looked that way all the time, you knew something must have happened because there was a strange silence between the rest of your group, so it wasn't just them.
You looked back to Rick, furrowing your brow in question. The smile on his face had melted away by now, and he was looking at the ground.
Everyone looked around at each other, with either a question or a strange sense of whatever had gripped the others, but you knew that there were some things that you would need to catch up on before long.
* * *
"I'm sorry for your loss," you said quietly as you stared at the needle in your arm. Thick, red blood was being drawn out and was filling up an IV slowly, but surely. Maybe it was the fact that you had just lost a lot of blood, but this was fascinating.
The people you had found, or that had found you, didn't seem in too much of a hurry to turn you away. Plus, T-Dog and Carl were in absolutely no shape to leave. At least they knew that.
You were sat in a small wooden chair as the older man- whom you found out was in fact, Hershel- drew blood from your arm that was extended over the table.
When you mentioned your blood type, he seemed more than happy to let you inside. He spoke about how he'd have some for Carl and be able to store some away just in case something went wrong, and by that time, you were zoning out. But, you did remember that he said he wouldn't take any more than he needed to.
Yeah, you felt light-headed, but you were at least getting your group some shelter for a while. It wasn't like you would let him do this for free.
A loud breath escaped the older man as he leaned back in the chair before pulling the small needle out of your arm.
You had just finished a vigil for Otis, who was the man that had given his life for Carl, and you wanted to make it clear that this wasn't something you just brushed off. Well, maybe you were sugar coating it a bit, but you didn't know what would set these people off.
Hershel pressed a small Band-Aid on the small bead of red liquid that was piling up where the needle left.
"Well, you doing this definitely helps. I'm not saying that this will make up for anything, but you've done more than the rest of your group has," he said coolly, making you turn your head.
He was wiping off his hands with a cloth and had sealed off the IV before taking it off of the hook.
"You said you lost your cousin?" Turning around, he looked at you, "Sophia, her name was?"
You looked back at him for a while with a straight face, speaking firmly as you could, though your eyelids began to feel like weights, "She's out there. We just haven't found her yet."
Once again, Hershel turned around to face you, not saying anything for a while. You stared back at him for a while before trying to push yourself up.
Last time you tried to walk, you didn't find it this hard. Still, you managed to get yourself up, with as little stumbling as possible in front of the older doctor.
He looked at you calmly before setting down the washcloth in his hands, "You shouldn't go out in that heat." Your eyes locked on him, almost glaring.
Before long, he seemed to figure that there wasn't a way he would talk you out of going to meet the rest of your group. You didn't even know where you were going.
You stayed silent, not moving a muscle for a while before the older doctor got the hint and walked past you with a small shrug, "Alright then."
You followed after him, using all of your focus to keep your legs moving in the direction you wanted, also to support your body weight.
Struggling a bit to keep up, you made sure not to show it too much, even though you pretty much knew Hershel was aware. That only made you concentrate on walking even more. Falling would just be the icing on the cake.
The heat hit you like a brick, but you did your best to conceal it.
Finally, after a while, you got some control over your limbs, to the point where you could make your way down the steps and after Hershel.
Rick, Daryl, and Andrea were near a car. It didn't take you too long to meet up with the three of them, and you were glad just to rest on the car.
A long exhale escaped your lips, and heavy breathing soon followed. The group's attention turned to you and the older man as you met with them, but you didn't meet any of their eyes for a while before looking up.
"Hey," Daryl said as he looked at Hershel with a furrowed brow and pointed in your direction, "What'd you do to [Y/N]?" You rolled your eyes a bit and straightened up, still keeping close to the car.
"She'll be fine," Hershel said calmly, looking at Daryl, "She just gave blood, that's all."
You gave Hershel a sideways stare, concealing a scoff and a snarky comment about how you could answer for yourself, but quickly decided against it. Waste of energy.
"Now, how long has this little girl been lost?" Hershel began again, but your attention was turned to the people beside you. They all were setting up tents and blankets that they could use for some kind of camp.
"This'll be day three," Rick answered coolly, quickly interrupted by the woman you had met before- whose name you learned was Maggie.
She had a large, rolled-up piece of paper that she spread across the hood of the car as she quickly spoke, "Country survey map; shows terrain and elevations."
You pulled yourself up as much as you could, watching as three stones were placed around the edges to keep it down.
"This is perfect," Rick said, looking at it, "We can finally get this thing organized." You nodded a bit looking at the map as well and following his finger.
"We'll grid the whole area, start searching in teams," Rick started, but as quickly interrupted by Hershel, who was shaking his head.
"Not you. Not today. You gave three units of blood. You wouldn't make it five minutes in this heat before passing out," he started, soon looking over at you, "Not you either. You just gave more blood than he did, and you're barely on your feet as it is."
He had moved on with his eyes before he could catch your little eye roll. "And your ankle," he started, looking at Shane, "Push it anymore and you'll be laid up a month. No good to anybody."
There was a long silence before Daryl leaned forward, shifting the weapon on his shoulder, "Guess it's just me then. I'm gonna head back to the creek, work my way from there."
You looked over at him, quickly blinking away the little black spots that wander their way into your gaze.
"I can still be useful," Shane quickly added in, "I'll drive up to the interstate, see if Sophia wandered back." You wanted to nod, but the little black dots came back, but they didn't leave as easy this time.
You heard something Rick said about going out tomorrow and doing this right but were just able to jump out of unconsciousness.
"But we can't have our people out there with just knives," Shane said, "They need the gun training we've been promising them."
There was a long moment of silence before Hershel turned to Rick, speaking calmly, "I would prefer you not carrying guns on my property. We've managed this far without them."
If you had the energy, you would look over and glare at him, but you just kept looking at the map. More so, you were still working on keeping the little black blobs from your vision.
There was a bit of arguing back and forth, but you paid no mind to it. Eventually, it ended with both Rick and Shane placing their weapons on the car in front of you.
At that, you began to lean over the car, feeling your legs shake a little bit before hearing something from Rick.
Opening your mouth, you looked up and spilled out what you could, "Guys, I have t--"
Before you could finish, your knees buckled and the support holding your body gave way.
Strong arms wrapped around you, keeping you from completely crumbling to the ground yourself. Your head fell back and you looked up at the man who was holding you.
The black spots in your vision cleared away just enough for you to see Daryl, who had hooked his arms tightly under yours, holding you up. Rick and Shane had hurried over to you, but you just tried as hard as you could to stand up, or at least to get your feet underneath you.
Gripping his arms a bit, you pushed yourself up to stand again, but Daryl didn't move from behind you.
"I'm good," you said, blinking rapidly and placing a hand to your head, which was coated with sweat, "Just got light-headed."
Hershel stepped up to you, giving you a stern look in a way, but more so scolding you.
"I told you that you should have stayed inside," he said, placing a hand on your back, "When was the last time you ate?"
He looked up and around the group, to which Rick was quick to respond, "None of us have eaten much at all." You bit the inside of your cheek to bring some feeling back before turning to glance at Hershel again, "I'm fine."
Even though your stomach didn't feel too well, the black spots were gone, and you were able to push yourself up.
"No," Hershel said firmly, "You're going to go back to the house. Andrea, there should be some milk in the fridge. Make her drink some."
He looked back at you, raising his eyebrows, "Whether you like it or not, you're malnourished and exhausted. You're no good to anybody if you can barely stay on your feet."
You opened your mouth a bit, but quickly shut it when you received a glance from Rick. He was right- you didn't have the energy for most anything.
Silently, and with a resting grimace, you allowed Andrea to help you back to the house, trying not to rest on the thoughts of embarrassment either. You just wanted to get back without falling to the ground.
Was it always this hot out?
It didn't seem too long before you and Andrea were back at the house, and you were resting in a chair next to Carl's bedside.
Andrea let you down gently, quickly ducking into the kitchen after that to get you what Hershel ordered, though you could tell that she wasn't very happy about playing the doctor. And you really weren't very happy with playing the patient either. In fact, like most doctors, you hated it.
A loud sigh escaped your lips as you slumped back in the chair yourself, soon looking down at Carl, who seemed to be peacefully sleeping.
Your head tilted a little, you thought to yourself before leaning forward on your hands, which were propped up on your knees and speaking softly. "Hang in there, Lancelot."
* * *
After about half of an hour, you were back up on your feet but weren't going any farther than the porch, based on how well that went last time.
You sat on the steps, joined by Rick soon after you came outside. Two people, both being grounded for the same reason.
You had been talking with Rick for a while about plans for the future. Mostly, you just wanted to know how long this arrangement was going to last.
Rick seemed to be talking about staying for a while, but it really didn't seem like he had talked this through with Hershel, and more like suggestions.
You both were just sitting in silence for a while before you heard someone coming around the side of the house, and when you looked over, you saw none other than Daryl.
He looked ahead of himself, not giving any attention to either one of you until Rick stood up and spoke.
"Daryl," he said, walking towards the other man, you paused briefly and looked over his shoulder. You stood up shortly after him but stayed back a bit longer.
Rick walked towards him, asking his question as he did, "You okay on your own?" You had to keep yourself from chuckling a bit after that. It wasn't really so much Rick asking if Daryl would be okay more so that it was basically Rick asking if there was a reason he could go as well.
"I'm better on my own," Daryl replied bluntly and turned around, "I'll be back before dark."
He continued to walk on, but Rick obviously wasn't down with what he had to say to him, "Hey!"
When Rick called out, Daryl turned around again, but more annoyed this time. "We got a base," Rick started, stopping a ways away, "We can get this search properly organized now."
He didn't have to wait long at all for Daryl's response, and it wasn't the most polite one. "You got a point or are we just chattin'?" Daryl started stalking at Rick again, challenging him almost.
"My point," Rick said, staying calm, "is that it lets you off the hook." When you heard that, you snapped your gaze over to Rick, looking at him and concealing the anger that pricked at you.
But, quickly after you felt that anger, you looked away, forcing yourself to rid of it.
No matter how much you wanted to search for Sophia, it was in no way fair to keep relying on Daryl to be keeping that responsibility up. If he didn't wish to continue, he had every right to pull the plug on his work.
You glanced back over at the two men, catching just as Daryl looked away from you and turned to keep walking.
"My other plans fell through," he said bluntly and stalked off again. A little wash of relief seeped into you, and you looked back at Rick, who had his hands on his hips.
He put the hat he had in his hands on his head, turning around to you. You looked back at him a moment before walking past him and heading off in the direction you saw Daryl went.
You picked up your pace to a jog, only speaking quietly when you got up to the redneck. "Hey," you said, catching his annoyed attention.
He stopped, turning to you with narrowed eyes, almost challenging you to waste his time. You didn't back down though. Instead, you did the exact opposite.
Crossing your arms over your chest, you stared right back at him for a while before speaking in a soft voice.
"Be careful out there," you said, dropping your arms to your sides as you finished, "Don't do any stupid shit either. We don't need your ass getting lost too."
As you said that, you surprised yourself. You had to scramble not to say 'I' instead of 'we'. You quickly snapped out of it, still staring at Daryl, who was staring right back at you.
There was a moment of silence before he turned and started walking off once again, no response from him what so ever.
Sighing, you shrugged to yourself a bit, looking back at Rick, who had now struck up a conversation with Hershel.
Sighing quietly, you turned around and started to walk off, just wanting to get a layout of the land. Maybe a peaceful stroll. But, apparently, people had other plans.
"[Y/N]?" You turned to Dale, who was walking up to you with T-Dog close behind. "We, uh..." He started, looking down then quickly back up, "We got a problem."
* * *
"That's a problem," you said, leaning over the edge of one of the wells on the family's property. The sight below you almost made you want to vomit.
Somehow, a walker had fallen into the well, and you were pretty sure it had contaminated the water by now. You straightened up, running a hand over your head.
"How long do you think it's been down there?" Glenn asked as he stepped up next to you. You shrugged, "Long enough to grow gills."
Itching the back of your neck, you let out a long sigh. "We can't leave it in there," Lori said, "God knows what it's doing to the water."
You crossed your arms over your chest, still looking down the well. "Yeah," Shane agreed, "We gotta get it out." You rubbed your jaw a bit, letting thoughts run through your head of what to do.
"Easy," you heard T-Dog say blankly, "Put a bullet in its head." You to a loud inhale, not seeing any other reasonable solution. You shrugged, starting to turn around, "I'll get a rope."
Before you could even take a full step, you were stopped quickly. "Whoa, guys," Maggie said, speaking firmly, "No."
Your brow furrowed, and you began to turn around again. "Why not?" Glenn asked, with the same look that you had, "It's a good plan."
Glenn's response was quickly followed by another. "It's a stupid one," Andrea said looking around at everyone, "If that thing hasn't contaminated the water by now, blowing its brains out will finish the job."
You were surprised. For once, Andrea seemed to have made a good point. The more you thought about it, the more it made sense.
"She's right," Shane agreed, looking down at the well, "Can't risk it." You let out another sigh, walking back to the well again, "So it has to come out alive?"
Shane gave a little nod, "So to speak." You silenced another sigh, still looking down and putting your hands on your knees as you bent over.
"How do we do that?" Glenn's question was the same thing you were thinking about. Itching the top of your head, you straightened up, "We need bait..."
* * *
Come on...
You had been repeating that in your mind over and over, just hoping that this would work. You had been using your best puppeteering skills as you dangled a large slab of ham in front of the walker's nose. It wasn't going quite as you had hoped though.
It would look at it, but wouldn't try grabbing at it like it would a human.
Sighing loudly you stepped back and started to raise the ham back up, "He's not goin' for it." You didn't have to wait long for a reply from T-Dog, who was standing right beside you, "Maybe because a canned ham don't kick and scream when you try to eat it."
There was a long pause between all of you. Once again, you were completely out of ideas. Finally, Lori spoke up, "He's right. There's a reason why the dead didn't come back to life and start raiding out cupboards."
You threw the slab of ham over the side and into the ground beside you. Waste of food.
There was another long silence between everyone, and when Shane broke it, it wasn't exactly what you wanted to hear as a solution. "We need live bait," he said, making you look up.
What you saw ahead of you upset you even more.
Everyone was turned to look at Glenn. He looked up and around at everyone but almost looked like he expected it. Your eyes darted around in the silence, shaking your head after a while, "What the hell?"
Now, everyone's gaze snapped over to you, and you met them all with glares and a scoff. Gesturing to Glenn, you spoke sharply, "So you're just going to sacrifice him? Just send him in there and hope for the best?"
Shane shook his head and looked over at you, "Got any other ideas?"
The way he said that must have set off a firework inside you. You stalked towards him a bit with a sarcastic tone, which came off as challenging, "Well, I'd be a hell of a lot more open to sending you down there, if you really want to know. It was your idea."
You gave him a cheeky smile, not changing your voice in the least bit, "Hell, I'll even hold the rope." Shane glared at you, and the others must have caught it as well because Glenn was quick to intervene.
"Hey," he said calmly, stepping in between you two, "It's fine. I'm the smallest one here anyway. I'll get in and out just fine."
Even as he said that you held eye contact with Shane as you both backed away. Something nudged your arm, and you turned around to T-Dog, who was holding a rather large rope in his hands.
There was a pause between you two, with you just glaring for a while before you took it out of the taller man's hand.
Turning back around, you sighed and handed it off to Shane, who was waiting next to Glenn. As you walked over, Glenn handed you his hat, and you took it without a word.
Dropping your arms down to your sides, you caught Maggie as she looked at you, making you look back. She wasn't glaring, nor was she smiling. She just looked at you for a while before glancing away.
You went back to watching Shane and Glenn. Glenn was sitting on the edge of the well as Shane tied a rope around his legs. He said something about his haircut just before Shane finished and handed him another rope and patted his back.
There already were some people gathering near an old pump for the well, and you mapped out how you would lower Glenn down in your head.
Silently, you went over and stood by them, watching as Shane came over to the pump, looping the rope around it and coming back to you.
Each of you grabbed part of the rope and took a firm stance. "Nice and slow please," Glenn said, looking down the well.
"We got you," Andrea replied as she got a firm grip on the rope. "You people are crazy," Maggie accused from somewhere else behind you, which you really paid no mind to.
"You want it out of your well or not?" Shane asked. He didn't get an answer back as he gripped the rope just ahead of you. You let out a long, worried breath as you tighten your hands on the rope.
The fact that you would be dangling your best friend over a walker like some kind of pinata didn't sit well in your stomach, but you were at the odds of the group at the moment.
Maggie was watching over the side of the well as you felt the rope tighten. Glenn had got up from off the edge and was starting to go down the well, towards the hungry predator at the bottom.
"Little lower," Maggie said, to which you all gave a little more rope, "Little more." Your jaw clenched as you heard the snarling growing louder and louder.
By now, it didn't really sound like snarling. It sounded more like...
Where's that coming from?
Metal creaking and straining came from somewhere, and you thought about it a little while longer, before you felt as if your heart got electrocuted.
The old pump ripped out of the ground, sending Glenn plummeting down. Your gaze snapped over, and you all were quick to rush forward and dive for the only thing let holding your friend up.
You could hear Glenn's horrified shrieks from the well just barely over the pounding in your head.
"GRAB IT!" You screamed as Shane dove down for the pump, just as it ripped out of the ground and shot forward. He fell to the round, and you were quick to dive down on it as well, only you were more successful with it.
It pulled your forward, and you just caught yourself from being drug down into the hole as well by bracing yourself with your feet.
A shooting pain ripped through your ankle, causing you to yell out, but soon, some of the weight was taken off of you. T-Dog was right beside you, bracing you with his legs as he tried to pull you back and away from the edge.
Everyone was yelling at the top of their lungs, but all you could hear was Glenn, who was begging to be let out.
You groaned and strained as you pulled back, using all of your strength to pull the rope up, but you felt like your arms were about to give way.
The rest of the group was behind you, yelling in your ears as they all tried to help you pull. You all began to move backward, you still clutching the pump to you as you were dragged back as well.
To your relief, you heard Glenn's terrified scream becoming louder and louder as he was raised out of the well.
"PULL!" You screamed as you shut your eyes tightly, scrambling backward, "PULL HIM UP!"
Just as you opened your eyes, you saw something that sent another wave of relief over you. An arm was thrown over the wooden plank across the whole of the well.
"GLENN!" You dropped the pump, leaping forward and racing over to the well, reaching down.
You gripped Glenn's shirt in your fists and pulled up. He helped by pulling himself over the edge of the well, and when he was finally over, both of you fell back.
Immediately, you sat up, going over to Glenn and rambling, "Are you okay? Were you bit?" He didn't answer you or even look up.
Lori placed a hand on his back and was rubbing it, trying to get him to regain his breath. Your chest heaved and you backed away, wanting to give Glenn some air.
When you did start to back away, your eyes caught T-Dog, who was still sitting on the ground. You hurried over and knelt down by him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey," you said quietly, knowing that all of that must have hurt his arm again. You gripped his shoulder tightly, but he stood up and strolled away from you shortly after.
"Back to the drawing board," Dale said, but was quickly followed up by a smiling Glenn, who stood up.
"Says you," Glenn said, placing the rope in Dale's hand, which was pulled taught. The walker was on the other end of that rope.
* * *
"Almost there, Y'all! Keep pulling!"
You gave another strong tug as T-Dog egged you all on. The horse that Maggie had hooked up to the rope walked forward as much as it could, obviously straining a bit as well.
This walker had become some kind of a human sponge and had soaked up a lot of water. This caused it to gain an immense amount of weight.
You looked back at T-Dog, who was looking over the edge of the well once again, "C'mon. Keep it coming..."
With one last big tug from all of you, you began to see the top of the walkers head emerge from the large, dark hole. T-Dog backed away from the well, putting a hand over his mouth at the disgusting sight. You'd do the same if you could.
"You gotta pull!" Shane yelled something else to you, but you just kept pulling.
"It's stuck," you yelled back, pulling even more. The thing wouldn't budge, but no one was prepared to give it up.
Everyone still pulled, waiting for either the rope to give or something else.
Out of nowhere, the rope went loose, and you were all sent flying backward. You fell to the ground, staying there and not feeling up to getting back on your sore ankle.
When you finally sat up, you groaned out loud. Guts and discolored organs were spilled out over the ground, but that wasn't the worst. Half of the bloated walker was still there, reaching and groping at T-Dog.
You rested back on your elbows, breathing heavily. "We should seal off this well," Dale proposed, to which Shane agreed. You pushed yourself up, walking over and gesturing to the still moving corpse, "So what are we gonna--"
You were cut off by T-Dog, who raised a broken off part of the old pump over his head and brought it down on the walkers. Over and over and over again.
You noticed shortly after that Maggie was walking away, looking sick to her stomach.
Quickly, your doctor instincts kicked into gear, and you walked over quietly to help her. With a straight and emotionless face, you asked with the same tone of voice, "You okay?"
After a brief moment, Maggie nodded quickly and continued to walk on, leaving the group and going back to the horse. You shrugged to yourself a bit before turning around and meeting the angry gaze of T-Dog.
"Good thing we didn't do anything stupid," he said breathily, "like shoot it."
* * *
Just as you got back, Shane and Andrea thought it was about time to go back to the highway and search around there a little bit more.
Plus, they also needed a place for them to set up a target practice area, and somewhere far off of Hershel's land at that.
So, you, Carol, Andrea, and Shane packed up and took the RV out there, parking it back on the highway.
You all went out in search again, but you and Carol stayed out of any conversation that they both tried to strike up.
Eventually, they got the hint that neither of you wanted to be comforted at the moment and didn't want to talk either.
They both stuck to talking with each other while they left both of you in silence. You spent the entire time with your sword out and in your hand, at the ready, and looking around for your cousin. But, eventually, you all had to go back to the highway. And, just like all of the other searches, this failed.
When all of you finally got back, Carol immediately went into the RV and started to clean. When you went in there, watching her silently, she explained that she wanted it to look nicer for when Sophia came back to the highway.
That at least made you smile a bit.
The thought that Carol was still hoping for the best, and didn't let the odds get her down. You set your blade down on the table near you just as Carol finished cleaning and went to the back room again.
As soon as she left the room, the smile on your face instantly melted away and the horrible thoughts came back. You sighed, looking out the large window next to you quietly.
The quiet helped and didn't at the same time. It allowed you to think, but you didn't want to think about anything either.
Fortunately, that quiet didn't last for too long. Your gaze snapped over at the man who came into the RV, and when you saw who it was, you quietly turned away again.
Daryl stayed there for a while, looking around at everything that had been cleaned. He left the room silently, going over to your aunt, who was sitting in the back room and sewing. You could just hear their conversation from where you were sitting
"I cleaned up," Carol said, trying to keep her voice bright, "I wanted it to be nice for her." There was a pause before Daryl replied, "For a second I thought I was in the wrong place
You looked up at the both of them just as Daryl set something down that you couldn't see from around the corner.
"A flower?" You heard Carol ask, which even puzzled you.
"It's a... Cherokee Rose," Daryl replied, which didn't give you a description either.
Daryl continued, starting to explain, "The story goes that when American soldiers were moving the Native American's off of their land on the trail of tears the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much 'cause they were losing their little ones along the way from exposure... And disease and starvation."
There was a long pause, and now, you were just staring down at the table you were sitting at, listening to Daryl. "A lot of them just disappeared," he continued again.
"So the elders, they said a prayer; they asked for a sign. Uplift the mother's spirits, give them strength. And hope."
There was another long pause between both of them, and by now, you just took notice that your eyes were beginning to sting like mad. You quickly moved to wipe them with your hand, having to do so more than once.
"The next day," Daryl started again, "this rose started to grow right where the mother's tears fell."
Another long pause. "I'm not fool enough to think that there are any flowers blooming for my brother," Daryl said blankly, following it up after a moment, "But I do believe that this one... Bloomed for your little girl."
After that, and after another pause, you heard something that you hadn't heard for a very long time. Carol laughed. It was quiet, but you heard it. And it completely broke your heart.
Quickly, once again, you wiped your eyes and leaned back in the seat, trying to distract yourself with anything else to do. You ended up just taking your sword in your hand and beginning to clean it off again, even though it didn't need it.
Just as you did that, something was set down right in front of you.
A small, white flower sprouted out of a beer bottle rested in front of you, causing you to stop and change the focus.
Looking up at the man standing in front of you, your eyes met Daryl's. He looked down at you, and for the first time, you saw sympathy in his eyes. Just a flicker of sympathy, but it was there.
As soon as you looked up at him, you saw his mouth crook up in a smile for a moment before turning away.
"She's gonna really like it in here," he said softly to you, nodding a bit as he turned back. You still looked up at him, smiling now as well and nodding with an exhausted laugh.
Daryl readjusted the weapon on his back once before starting to walk out of the RV. "Daryl," you said, making him turn around instantly. You nodded, smiling still, "Thank you."
He held eye contact with you for a while before nodding again and turning to leave, slower this time.
As soon as the door closed, you looked at the rose, reaching out to touch the soft petals in between your fingers.
And, even though he was gone, you still smiled and thought about Daryl in the silence.
Chapter 17: Stay Focused
Chapter Text
"Morning guys," Rick said as he walked around where you were sitting with T-Dog, "Let's get going. We got a lot of ground to cover."
You looked over at your friend, nodding before you stood up and followed Rick, waiting for him to lead you off to where you needed to go.
There already were some people that were gathered around the car where you had been last time, and you quickly fell into place around the hood.
There was a map spread out across it once again, and there were little, colored spaces on it as well.
"Everyone's gettin' new search grids today," Rick started quickly, handing you a green washcloth as soon as you got up there.
"If she made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found, she might have gone further east than we've been so far," Rick proposed, and you were already itching with anticipation to get out there and start searching again.
"I'd like to help." You turned your gaze the young boy who said that as he stepped up, earning the attention of the other half of the group.
He shrugged when there was a bit of awkward silence, "I know the area pretty well and stuff."
From the looks of him, and you were just guessing, but he didn't seem to have the brightest burning fire in his head. Just another teenager who thought he knew more than he really did. Just like you had been in high school.
Rick raised an eyebrow as he turned to him, "Hershel's okay with this?" Another shrug. "Yeah, yeah," he said, "He said I should ask you."
You peered at him through narrowed eyes before turning away when Rick granted him permission to accompany you.
"Alright then. Thanks," Rick said, looking back at the map. "Nothing about what Daryl found screams 'Sophia' to me," Shane said from sitting in the car, looking from Rick to you. You must have been glaring, because he followed up with an apology, "I'm sorry, but anyone could have been holed up in that farmhouse."
Thanks for that, Shane.
You began to think to yourself about how Shane was right about anyone being in there.
"Anyone includes her, right?" You looked up as Andrea came to your defense, meeting her sideways glance before both of you went back to staring at the man in the car.
"Well," Daryl started, "Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than..." He raised a hand up to his side, "... yea-high." At least some people hadn't completely given up on finding her. You nodded a bit, looking back at the rest of the group, "It's a good lead."
Rick nodded in response as well, looking around, "Maybe we'll pick up her trail again." You looked down at the map just as you felt someone lean around you.
"No maybe about it," Daryl started, reaching an arm out and running his finger along a trail in the map, "I'm gonna borrow a horse, head up to this ridge right here. Get a bird's-eye view of the whole grid."
You looked over your shoulder, quickly turning your head back around when you realized how close you two were. "If she's up there, I'll spot her," he finished, finally backing away a bit.
You looked back again, nodding to him, "It's a good idea."
T-Dog- who was standing right next to you as well- was quick to add in. "Yeah, maybe you'll see your Chupacabra up there, too," he said with a smile.
Raising an eyebrow, you looked from T-Dog to Daryl, then back again, "Chupacabra?"
Dale piped up, "What? You've never heard this?" You turned over your shoulder, watching Dale as he explained.
"The first night in camp," he started, "Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of the time he went squirrel hunting and he saw a Chupacabra." Jim laughed a bit, and you hid a smirk by turning away once again.
"What are you braying at, jackass?" You heard Daryl challenge Jim, but it was Rick who was the one to answer, "So you believe in a blood-sucking dog?"
That was the question that you were about to ask before Daryl quickly rebounded, "You believe dead people walkin' around?"
Giving it some thought, he made a good point.
Shrugging slightly, you reached out and took your gun, which had been placed on the hood. The same time as you, Jim also reached out and tried to take one of his own, but was quickly stopped by Rick.
"Whoa, whoa," he stuck his arm out, blocking him, "you ever fire one before?" There was another moment of awkward silence, which already showed that he hadn't.
"Well, if I'm going out I want one," Jim said, trying to sound as confident as possible.
Scoffing, you put your handgun in your belt, backing away from the car as you spoke, "Yeah, people in hell want Slurpees." Guns in the wrong hands were dangerous, and you'd stand by that, despite whose land you were on.
Before you got too far away, you grabbed up a cloth that you would mark your grid with. As soon as you backed away again, you turned around and started out.
You wanted to get out as far as you could as fast as you could and beat the sunset. If that meant missing out on the rest of the meeting, so be it.
Your hand was placed on the handle of your sword once more as you scanning around the large clearing ahead of you before quickly starting out again.
"Hey!" Letting out a quiet sigh, you turned around. Raising an eyebrow and crossing your arms, you looked back at whoever was calling out to you.
As soon as you saw Carol, your expression quickly softened a bit, waiting to hear what she wanted to say.
She jogged up to you, sighing and wiping her eyes a bit, "You, just... You just stay safe out there, okay?" You smiled softly before nodding and leaning forward when your aunt pulled you into a hug.
You gave her one last tight squeeze before turning around and starting to make your way across the clearing, sword in had and Sophia in mind.
* * *
~ Daryl's P.O.V. ~
Another loud sigh escaped his body as he pulled the arrow out of the tree, along with the squirrel it had hit. Taking the small creature off, he stuffed it in a pouch that was hanging around the saddle.
He pulled the horse he had taken to stop and looked around for a bit through narrowed eyes before beckoning it along.
Sure, he took the horse and maybe made it seem like he had asked Hershel for permission, but if he got back before dark, the old man wouldn't notice.
Daryl couldn't help but notice that this horse seemed to jump at every little thing, but he didn't have any time to waste on little things like that. Sophia was still out there.
There was a slope coming up, which gave him the evidence he needed to tell that he was close to the stream he had been out to find. He gave a firm pull on the reins, pulling the horse to a stop beneath him, wanting to get a good view of the water.
Now that he had found the blanket and the old farmhouse, it gave him a better chance of picking up her trail again.
Finally getting a good view, he scanned over the stream, trying to pick out anything that stood out from the rest of the landscape. He didn't have to look hard before finding one either.
Washed up near a log, there was something that had a soft pink color to it. From where he was, it looked like a doll. Whatever it was, it definitely wasn't something that would be found normally around the woods.
Before long, he quickly dismounted and tied the horse up to a low-hanging branch, but his eyes never left the small object in the water.
As soon as he secured the horse up, he turned away and started making his way down the side of the ridge, being careful and quick at the same time.
Before he got too far along, he stopped again and pulled his crossbow off of his shoulder. Never could be too careful. Then, he once again picked up his pace again.
The dirt was loose, and there were plenty of times when he almost lost his balance, but he eventually, and with the help of holding onto some small trees, made it to the stream without falling.
When he stepped into the muddy water, it barely came up to his ankles, making the wary walk over to the small doll with ease. His eyes never left it, almost targeting it until he finally came up to it. He lowered his crossbow to his side and leaned down, picking it up.
Sure enough, it was Sophia's.
He remembered it clearly from the day Morales left with his family off somewhere else. His little girl gave Carol's little girl this doll.
A spark of relief and success traveled through him at the thought of finally picking up Sophia's trail again, but he couldn't make out any tracks.
As he straightened up, he looked around and called out, "Sophia!" He heard his voice echoing around the gorge, but no reply.
He started to back away towards the bank again, not seeing that he would get anything from this area anymore.
With another quiet sigh of frustration, he turned fully around and started to make his way back up the ridge, which was a hell of a lot harder than climbing down with all of the loose dirt. But, he managed just fine.
Once he was back to where his horse was, he didn't waste any more time before mounting it again. He wanted to cover as much ground as possible before the sun went down, knowing that he would have to end the search again.
[Y/N] doesn't need anything else working her up.
As soon as he thought of that, he quickly chased it away from his mind.
What would she care?
He thought to himself, before bringing it up hesitantly in his mind.
Would she care?
He scoffed to himself quietly, not knowing how that came to mind.
What do I care..?
[Y/N] had been on his mind a lot more lately. He had caught himself worrying about her more than usual. It all confused him, and he hated it. He didn't enjoy not being in control of what he was thinking of.
But, she was different. Confusing. She didn't seem to care about what he had done before when he had first found her. Hell, she was more friendly to him than anyone else in that group at times.
If they had met in any other circumstances, he probably wouldn't be able to stand her, but she was someone good to have by your side nowadays.
But, she was laid back, stubborn, and a smartass at times. She was someone like him. It made him laugh. She was strong, confident, and stood her ground. He liked that about her.
A flock of birds flew up in front of Daryl's horse, screeching and cawing as they all were spooked away. His horse had been spooked as well, rearing a bit and making a fuss.
"Whoa, whoa," he said, trying to calm the horse and bring it back under control. When he finally got it grounded again, he stayed in place for a while.
He scolded himself for letting his mind wander back to [Y/N].
That's what happens when you let her distract you.
His hands gripped the reigns tightly again, his jaw clenching a bit in frustration with himself and- -
No, no more thinking. Stay focused on your damn task.
He looked down at his horse, making kissing sounds as a way to beckon it onward and get it to start moving again. It nickered, but obeyed and started at a slow trot again.
He looked around the trees still, following downstream and scanning again for anything that stood out. Any little flash of color or any sound that signaled that Sophia was close by. Anything that would give him any sign of--
A horrible hissing sound came from beneath him, tearing his attention away and down to the leaves below him. Rattlesnake.
It shot out of the bushes and lunged for the horse, and Daryl could get absolutely no control over the animal before it neighed and reared up. He gripped onto the reigns again, yelling out as the horse whinnied, "Whoa! WHOA!"
Still, the horse kept rearing over and over again, and Daryl was beginning to be thrown off balance. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
Then, Daryl's hand slipped off of the horn of the saddle when the horse kicked up once again.
In a panic, he reached his other arm out, taking it off of the reigns and scrambling for the horn of the saddle as well. His fingers grazed it, but the horse had already started to turn and make a run for it, now fully throwing him off kilter.
There was a horrible thud, Daryl hit the ground, getting all of the air in his lungs knocked out of him in the process. But it didn't stop there.
Horror filled Daryl as he began to roll down the ridge. He dug his hands into the ground trying to catch something to hold onto, but he was descending much too fast.
The only thing that he caught was loose ground and dirt that spilled down into his eyes and mouth, making him scramble blindly.
Slowly, the hill became steeper and steeper, and he knew there was no way to stop himself from plummeting into the gorge.
His head nicked a rock on the way down, making everything hurt even more than it already was, and he was still falling. And now, he was sliding down the rocks.
His crossbow had come undone from around his shoulder and was now freely sliding beside him. Soon after, an excruciating pain ripped through the side of his body, but he couldn't find the strength or focus to yell out.
Then, he finally came to an abrupt stop as he hit the rocks on the bottom.
He breathed heavily, his eyes shut as he was enveloped in the pure pain of his situation. He groaned and rolled onto his back, still breathing heavily, even though it burned his side.
"Son of a bitch," he whispered out with his eyes still closed shut.
Gripping his side, he used all of his strength to lift his head a bit and look down at himself. An arrow stuck out of his body, and blood was already starting to seep into the water around him.
He laid his head back down, groaning out in seer pain and defeat as everything started to go blurry.
~ Your P.O.V. ~
"Damn it," you whispered out, seeing the small red washcloth. Shane and Rick. You had already searched out your entire grid and even pushed into T-Dog's and Andrea's at one point. Still, no sign of Sophia.
You let out a sigh if pure defeat before going over and sitting down on a log. You stuck your sword in the ground beside you and rested on your bent knees.
You sighed and ran your hand through your hair, hanging your head down and closing your eyes. Your ankle was killing you, but you pushed on, which probably wasn't something you should have done.
You straightened up and started to untie your boot the covered your injured ankle, wincing every time you touched it. It hurt the most when you tried pulling your boot off.
You groaned a bit, clenching your teeth, but moving quickly.
Eventually, you got it off, taking your sock off right afterward, though you could already see the horrible swelling.
Earlier, you hadn't been that careful and had tripped over a tree root, messing up your ankle again.
As soon as you pulled the cloth away, the purple hint of your skin set of a red light, and you sighed again, feeling your heart begin to ache.
The stubbornness and love for Sophia told you to keep going and search on, but the doctor side of you and the doubt counteracted. You knew you'd only damage yourself more, and that you couldn't go on like this much longer without doing some permanent damage to your ankle.
Sighing one last time, you pulled your sock and boot back on to your foot. You pushed yourself off of the log and back up on your feet, grabbing your sword and sliding it into your belt once more.
You looked around your surroundings, locking eyes onto a large stick that you saw not too far away. You hobbled over to it, picking it up and sizing it up to you. It was the perfect size for a walking stick, and exactly what you needed.
You turned back to where you had come from, ignoring the pain in your stomach from the fact that you were giving up on this search and started to walk back to the barn.
Who knows, maybe they--
You stopped yourself dead in thought, clenching your jaw and facing the hard truth. You knew that she wouldn't be there, and you knew you couldn't afford to hope like that anymore.
~ Daryl's P.O.V ~
In the state that he was in, Daryl knew that he couldn't just lay around there waiting to die. That wasn't him, and he knew he couldn't do that.
So, very slowly and racked with pain, he turned on his uninjured side and began to push himself up. He knew he was too weak to stand at the moment, so the best that he could do was start crawling.
Moving anything hurt, and he couldn't move very fast, but he needed to get out of the water and get himself fixed up as much as he could.
When he got closer to the bank, he tried standing up, only to have his legs give out and fall into the shallow water again with a loud grunt.
Still, he pulled himself onto the dry land. Once he got up there, he rested on his knees, looking down at his side as he breathed heavily. "Shit," he whispered before wracking his brain on what he needed to do.
First of all, he knew that he needed to stop the bleeding. He looked down at the knife he had tucked into his belt, not hesitating to pull it out quickly. He leaned over and brought the tip of the blade up to his shoulder before sticking it into the clothing and beginning to cut away.
Once it finally came free, he ripped the sleeve off of his arm and threw it to the ground, quickly moving onto the next one. It came off just as easy as the last.
After he had both of them laid out in front of his body, he stuck the knife back into the holster in his belt. He reached down after, picking up the two smaller pieces of clothing and bringing the two ends together.
Shakily, he tied them tightly and then moved down to his waist. It hurt, but he wrapped it around his body and tied it tightly, knowing that this would stop him from losing so much blood.
After that was over, he took a moment to rest and try to regain full focus. The ringing in his ears didn't stop, and his sight was just as bad as the throbbing in his head. He looked around wildly for a moment before looking up and at where he had fallen down from.
It was a huge, steep drop that easily could have killed someone. And now, he had to find some way to climb it. He looked over to his side, grabbing a small stick that he saw and used it for support to stand up. His arms shook, but he started to walk again.
He scanned the large drop, looking for the easiest way to get up, but was distracted. He heard loud rustling coming from one of the large bushed across the water. He stared over there, waiting for something to appear out of the bushes, but they just kept rustling.
Instinctively, Daryl reached for his crossbow that should have been hanging around his body but grasped nothing.
He looked over his shoulder and back to where he had first climbed up on land, focusing his eyes on where he had hit the water.
He hobbled over there as fast as he could and poked around in the water with the stick he had before it finally hit something solid.
Reaching down, he gripped his weapon and drug it up out of the water, already feeling more safe.
He used his walking stick to help him along again, groaning every time he took a step forward. Eventually, he couldn't walk any further and fell to his badly scraped up knees once more.
"Damn," he hung his head down for a while, trying to face the fact that he might die down here, especially if whatever was in the bushes tried to come out. He blinked heavily before looking up again.
When he did finally look up again, he noticed something that he had missed before. He was kneeling right next to somewhere that looked remotely climbable.
His eyes trailed up as he knelt on the ground, panting like a dog. The very thought of climbing that made Daryl hurt even more, but he knew it was the only way to get out of there. No one was coming to save him.
He drew in a large breath, moving forward and pulling himself along with the stick he had, looking at the base of the climb first.
There were a few rocks protruding out of the bottom, and with a groan, he stuck the large stick in the crevice of it, trying to get a good grip. He put a bit of his weight on the walking stick, checking to see if it would hold himself.
When it did, he began to start pulling himself up. It sent wave after wave of pain over his body, but he knew he had to keep moving. He hooked his foot in the space between two rocks and started the climb once more. He groaned out again but concentrated on moving up.
There were a few small trees scattered around where he was, and he used them as something to help him up, his arms shaking as he did.
Even though he was no more than six feet off of the ground, he needed to stop and rest for a moment, feeling as though he would pass out.
Quickly, he shook his head, regaining the feeling in his arms and legs and started moving again. He reached up a bit farther this time, not bothering to hook his feet on anything this time.
With one large breath, he pulled himself up with as much strength as he could muster. As he did, he let out a loud, strained cough of air, shutting his eyes tightly and holding onto the trees for dear life.
Before he could slip back anymore, he gripped the ground and a tree, looking down at his feet. He lifted one up and positioned it so that he would get a good push up. When he found solid ground, he looked back up, locking onto a tree that looked big enough to hold him up.
With a loud grunt, he pushed up, reaching out for the tree not too far away from him. The ground beneath him began to give, but he had already got a good hold on the tree.
From then on, he used a combination of his walking stick and the few trees and rocks to get up, ignoring the pulsing pain in his arms and side.
Even though it was hard, he had gotten a good ways off of the ground, but the ground was getting even loser.
At this point, Daryl was clinging to a tree that looked like it was about to give out under him at any second. His walking stick hadn't given him much help, being that anything he stuck it into would just crumble and fall back down the slope.
Eventually, he just threw it down behind him, grabbing the other tree with both hands.
"Oh, C'mon," he said to himself, breathily, "You've done half. Stop being such a pussy." He used things that he remembered Merle would say to get him going, just trying to piss off himself and challenge that he couldn't make it to the top.
He looked back ahead, only seeing the closest tree was a long distance away. He was filled with doubt that he would be able to reach it, but he knew it was his only chance. He couldn't be scared now.
He narrowed his eyes, whispering once again to himself, "C'mon."
He took one last large breath and lunged forward, but nowhere near the tree he was aiming for. Instead, he just fell back, trying to catch himself on a smaller tree.
Once again, the ground beneath his feet started to give way, and the smaller tree was starting to give as well. He quickly moved to just holding onto the other tree, but he missed.
His eyes widened as he felt himself slipping back once again and with nothing to keep himself up.
He dug his fingers into the ground, trying to scrape and claw at whatever he could use to keep from going back down the gorge. But there was nothing. He started his plummet again, hitting every rock he used to pull himself up as he went down.
He bounced and flipped down, much less of sliding than before, until he hit the bottom with a sickening thud.
Another wave of pain exploded through his side as he landed on it, making it tear through his side even more. He yelled out in pain, writhing as he got to the bottom and felt the same feeling as before.
His head pounded, and his heartbeat settled in his head, just like before. He was sprawled out on the stone, scrapes, and cuts covering every inch of his body as he saw everything start to fade into one, large, unidentifiable blur.
* * *
Frogs chirruped and croaked around him, with even the smallest sound making his head pound out of his skull.
Laying alone and looking up at the sky through half-opened eyelids, not making any attempt to move. Everything hurt. There was no way that he was getting out of there like this.
Hell, it might just be better this way.
He used all of his remaining consciousness to try to tell himself otherwise, but whenever he tried to, he always ended up going back to that same mindset.
There was no way he was going to be getting out of there on his own, much less back to the barn. He looked around blankly, trying to remember how he got down there in the first place.
Though he groped wildly at an answer, he couldn't remember.
Instead, he heard soft footsteps coming from God knows where. It might have been a walker, but it didn't fully register in his head. He knew it probably was, but he also knew he didn't have the strength to fight it off and defend himself, so he might as well just accept it.
And, soon enough, something was towering over him.
Daryl waited for whatever it was to tear through his body, with his cloudy blue eyes focused on it. But, it just stood there.
He turned his head a bit more starting to focus on whatever it was.
Slowly, it started to lean down closer, coming into a better focus. It became clearer and clearer, and before long, Daryl was able to identify it, though it wasn't something he could believe.
"What don't you pull that arrow out, dummy? You could bind your wound better," Merle spoke, though his lips seemed to lag behind his words a bit as he did. But, Daryl could still see that familiar, smug smirk across his brother's face.
There was a long pause before Daryl shut his eyes, smiling to himself, "Merle..."
He let out a hoarse chuckle, which was met by his brother's. Daryl opened his eyes, seeing Merle a bit clearer now as he looked over his wounded little brother. "What's going on here? You taking a siesta or somethin'?"
Daryl shook his head as much as he could, speaking as loudly as he could muster, "Shitty day, bro." Merle smirked still, raising an eyebrow, "Want me to get you a pillow? Maybe rub your feet?"
At his sarcastic remark, Daryl shook his head again still, "Screw you."
He tried to keep his eyes focused on his brother, but his eyelids felt heavier than they ever had before.
"Uh-Uh," Merle denied, looking him over again, "You're the one screwed from the looks of it." Merle now shook his head, the smirk wiping away from his face, "All these years I spent trying to make a man out of you. This is what I get? Look at you..."
Merle chuckled again, "Lying in the dirt like a used rubber."
Daryl tried opening his eyes again, but they seemed to be glued shut. "You're gonna die out here, little brother. And for what?"
When Merle said that, he finally opened his eyes, speaking hoarsely, "A girl..." He started, "[Y/N]... She lost a little girl..."
After that, he shut his eyes again. Merle's eyes narrowed, "So you got a thing for this [Y/N] now?"
Once again, Daryl peered through narrowed eyes, furrowing his brow as much as he could, "Shut up."
Merle shrugged, almost looking offended, "Cause I noticed you ain't out there looking for ol' Merle no more." Daryl nodded, seeming to find strength a little bit easier now, "Tried like hell to find you, bro."
"Like hell you did," Merle challenged, "You split, man. Lit out first chance you got."
Daryl held his stare, "You lit out. All you had to do was wait. We went back for you... Rick and I, we did right by you."
A smirk returned to Merle's face once more, "This the same Rick that handcuffed me to the rooftop in the first place? Forced me to cut off my own hand? This him were talkin' 'bout here?"
Daryl's eyes finally fully opened and immediately looked down at his brother's hands. They were both there. Though what he said didn't make sense, he didn't spend too much time thinking about it.
Merle chuckled softly again, "You his bitch now?" Daryl looked back up, grimacing as he spoke, "I ain't nobody's bitch."
Merle shook his head, "You're a joke, is what you are. Playing errand boy to a bunch of pansy-asses, democrats, and a bitch that's making you drool like a dog. That's what you are to her, y'know that right? That's what you are to all of them. Nothin' but a freak. Redneck trash."
He paused, and by now, Daryl was looking up at his brother with wide eyes. "That's all you are," Merle said with a smug grin.
Still, Merle wasn't done. "They're laughing at you behind your back," he insisted, "You know that, don't you?"
Daryl narrowed his eyes, trying to play it off like he didn't care what the group thought of him. What [Y/N] thought of him. But, he knew that Merle was right. Maybe not about all of them, but some he could be sure.
"I got a little news for you, son," Merle started again, "One day they're gonna scrape you off their heels like you was dog shit."
Beginning to close his eyes again, Daryl shook his head. He rested it on his side for a while, but his small rest didn't last for long.
"Hey," Merle said as he hit Daryl's chest, getting his attention and focus back. Merle leaned in closer, abandoning the smile he had and lowering his voice, "They ain't your kin. Your blood."
Daryl blinked but showed no emotion. There was a mixture of hate and love for his brother, though he showed one more than the other. One thing he always did was he listened to Merle. He did what he was told to do.
"Hell," Merle said, "If you had any nuts in that sack of yours, you'd go back there and shoot Rick in the face for me."
After that, Merle knelt a bit closer, turning Daryl's head to make his brother look at him, "Now you listen to me."
Daryl kept his eyes narrowed but stayed silent and unmoving. "Ain't nobody ever gonna care 'bout you except me, little brother," Merle insisted, dropping his hand from Daryl's face, "Ain't nobody ever will."
Merle began to back away again, patting Daryl firmly on the shoulder, "C'mon, get up on your feet before I have to kick your teeth in."
Merle straightened up now, back to towering over Daryl and looking down at him. When he didn't make a move to start walking, Merle moved to his little brother's feet and started kicking them, "Let's go."
Daryl looked up at him, but slowly, he was starting to fade away. Half of him didn't want to see him go, but the other half was relieved to lose the pain in his ass.
He shook his head, trying to blink away the fuzzy image of his brother, but the feeling near his foot remained. He groaned and looked down, but the sight instantly woke him up.
He sat up, breathing heavily and mixing it with a fearful attempt at yelling out. He pushed himself back as much as he could using only his arms to do so.
When the walker looked up, noticing that its victim wasn't properly taken care of, Daryl looked around wildly for where his crossbow had landed from the fall. He had seen it just out of his reach, but when he tried to shuffle over and get it, the walker had already latched onto his ankles.
He looked down and kicked its head, making it fall to the side for a moment before trying to move over to get his weapon.
Once again, the walker lunged at him, towering over him, snapping with its rotted jaw that was only inches away from Daryl's face.
Eventually, all of the pain he had and all of the nagging that Merle had been giving him overturned into sheer anger and frustration of the situation he was in.
His jaw clenched, and he held the walker away with one of his hands while bringing the other back. As he was on the ground, Daryl started throwing punch after punch at the creature above him.
The walker snarled and hissed, but was eventually overthrown by the redneck beneath him.
Daryl tried throwing it off of him, but it had already gripped his hair tightly in its fist, trying to pull his head closer to itself. Daryl yelled out, throwing one last firm punch before using everything he had to throw it over him to the side.
With it being distracted, he took this as a chance to defend himself. He shot over, grabbing his crossbow in his hand and immediately turning back to his attacker.
As he looked over, he caught the sight of another one exiting the bush from the other side of the shallow stream. Hopefully, the water would buy him some time.
His gaze snapped over to the first walker that had attacked him, which had already gotten to its feet again. Knowing that he didn't have time to load and fire his crossbow, he looked back again. His walking stick.
The stick that he had taken earlier and had thrown down was only a few feet away from him. Apart from being thrown down the side of a ridge, the universe seemed to be in his favor at least today.
He reached over and took it in both hands before turning around to the walker that had just lunged at him again.
Unlike the other times, Daryl was prepared for this attack. He held up the large stick, blocking himself from the attack as the walker fell on it. He shouted out again, pushing the walker back and throwing it off balance.
It stumbled and reeled, falling to the ground, and Daryl was quick to attack it back. He lunged, raising the stick over his head and bringing it down on the walkers head over and over again, making the soft skull of it cave it and blood splatter all over the ground.
Eventually, the growling coming from it ceased, but he still heard the sickening sounds of the dead.
Looking up, he saw the other walker halfway across the stream and making his way quickly across. He rolled over onto his back, looking back down to his side and knowing what had to come next. He took a long inhale and wrapped his hands around the bolt sticking out of him. Even that hurt.
Acting quickly, he pulled upward, grunting when he felt the plastic ends ripping and cutting through his skin, but never stopped.
Once it was finally pulled free, Daryl began breathing again, panting heavily. He put the arrow in his mouth, holding it between his teeth as he sat up, keeping his eyes on the crossbow he had sitting in between his legs. He didn't want to look at the walker coming at him as to keep from being distracted.
It took a while for Daryl to be able to pull back the bow, but eventually, it clicked into place. He didn't waste any more time with loading it up with the already bloodied arrow.
It slid into place, but by now, the walker was only a few feet away from him. He raised the crossbow again, aiming upwards and not even finding the time to aim before his finger tightened around the trigger.
He felt the weapon kick back and heard the twang of the arrow leaving it. Then, he heard the growling stop and a loud thud next to him.
He opened his eyes back up and looked over at the walker that had fallen beside him with the arrow in his forehead. It didn't stir, and Daryl took this time to at back once more. He gazed up at the sky, wanting more than ever to slip back into unconsciousness.
But, he knew he needed to get out of there more than ever.
* * *
~ Your P O.V. ~
"How long has he been out there?"
You itched the back of your neck as you looked out at the tree line with T-Dog right beside you. He sighed, placing a hand on your shoulder, "[Y/N], he's fine. He just wanted to be out there a bit longer."
You dropped your hand down, looking over at T-Dog, who was looking at you with reassurance. You nodded a bit, letting your shoulders drop a bit.
Honestly, you were worried. It wasn't normal for you to be worried about much, let alone to voice it. But, ever since you had gotten back, there had been this churning in the pit of your stomach. You didn't know why, but it hadn't left.
Though you worried, you trusted Daryl. And, if he wasn't back by dark, you'd be the first to go out there and look for him, despite your ankle.
Hershel had wrapped it and had told you to refrain from moving around too much, but your friends took priority over anything else.
Besides, it had stopped hurting as bad after you took some of Daryl's painkillers.
You looked over your shoulder one last time as T-Dog dropped his hand down, giving him a hint of a smile before turning and walking off towards the RV.
You just wanted to get out of the sun and get off of your ankle for a little while before doing a border search around the edge of the farm.
You looked up to the roof of the RV, seeing Andrea, who had perched herself atop with a rifle in her lap. You weren't even sure if she knew how to use that, basing it on the last time you had handed her a gun.
Still, wasn't really your business, unless she did something stupid.
You opened the door, stepping in and closing it quickly behind you. When you looked back, you saw Glenn sitting in one of the booths near the table.
He looked up and smiled at you, following you with his eyes as you came to sit down across from him.
"Hey," he said quietly, setting a book down. You nodded, letting out a loud sigh as you sat down. "Is..." Glenn started, seeming a bit hesitant, "Is Daryl back yet?"
There was a brief moment of silence before you looked down and laughed quietly, "Damn. I only came in here to forget that he wasn't." You looked over at him as he looked down, smiling a bit, "Sorry."
You looked back down at your foot as you laid down across the booth. You shook it off, pulling out the small horse charm from your pocket, playing with the chain.
"[Y/N]?" You turned your head, raising your eyebrows as to show that you were listening. Glenn seemed extremely shy and uncomfortable, which made you a bit suspicious, but you waited for him to continue. "We're friends, right?"
Glenn looked up when he asked that, and you furrowed your brow. That was one of the worse ways to start a conversation, but you answered, "Yes..?"
As soon as you did, Glenn's eyes shot down to the table once again. "Well, uh," he started, trying to spit it out, "I just thought since you're a girl..."
He seemed to shy away from the rest of it, but you gave him a look, silently telling him to spit it out.
He cleared his throat, furrowing his brow, "Is Andrea on her period?" You blinked, furrowing your brow again, "Uh... Not even gonna ask why you want to know, but I sure as hell don't."
The sudden and random question caught you off guard, but your brow still was furrowed. Really, out of all the women that were in this camp right now, Andrea really didn't seem like Glenn's type, but you didn't want to judge. Whatever floats his boat.
Glenn shook his head as he continued, "I'm only asking because it's like all the women-" he caught himself, looking up at you "- besides you, are acting really weird."
Even though he was sure to leave you out, you raised an eyebrow at him. "A-And, I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time." Glenn finished, looking up at you.
You opened your mouth, unable to fight back a smile before speaking.
"One," you started, holding up one finger, "I really advise you to keep that theory to yourself if you think the girls are in a shitty mood now."
After that, you held up a second finger, "Two; who else is acting weird?" You dropped your hand down on the table, furrowing your brow again.
Glenn scratched the back of his neck, making a long pause between the both of you before answering, "Maggie."
Nodding, you looking down at your hands, "Alright, then. What's the story between you two?"
Glenn shrugged, shaking his head and showing that he had absolutely no idea what was going on, "She started off being mean to me. Then she wanted to have sex with me. And now, she back to being mean to me again."
Thoughts and questions rushed through your head and more only piled on as Glenn added in more.
"And I don't even want to know what's going on with Lori," Glenn said, shrugging again. You started off asking questions, "What's goin' on with Lori?"
As soon as you asked that, Glenn's gaze snapped down to the ground then back up in a poor attempt to act natural.
He opened his mouth and closed it quickly, shaking his head, "Nothing. I don't know."
Again, figuring it wasn't really your business, you moved on, "Alright, let's just take this back a step here." You sat up straight now, facing Glenn straight on, "How do you know or what made you think Maggie wanted to have sex with you?"
You expected an answer along the lines of looks over the shoulder or not being very careful where her hands landed, but the look on Glenn's face was telltale.
He tried to cover a mischievous smirk, but eventually gave in and dropped his hand down. You sighed, looking down at the table, "My God, Glenn..."
You tried to sound mad or disappointed, but eventually, you fell into laughter before facepalming.
Sighing, you looked back up at Glenn, who was laughing as well, "All jokes aside, you know you can't tell Hershel, right?" Glenn nodded softly, looking down, "Yeah, yeah. I know."
Nodding one last time, you stood up from the booth.
Chuckling softly, you punched Glenn lightly in the shoulder, making him chuckle once more before you went and walked out of the RV, leaving the door open and starting to make his way towards the house.
"Walker!" Your gaze was snapped over to the top of the RV. Andrea had sprung up from her lawn chair, grabbing the rifle from beside her and yelling, "Walker!"
She looked over across the large clearing, making your eyes follow. Sure enough, a lone figure was stumbling and limping towards you all.
Your hand instantly found its way to your side, drawing out the sword that you didn't bother putting up after you had ended your search. Rick stormed up next to you, looking up at Andrea as well, "Just the one?"
He put his hand up, shielding the sun from his eyes and looking at the treeline as well. Andrea didn't answer him as she raised binoculars up to her eyes, "I bet I can nail it from here."
Beside you, you watched as Rick quickly put a stop to it, "No, No! Andrea put the gun down!" You didn't have to look up at Andrea to feel her firing a glare at Rick before she lowered the gun to her side.
"Yeah, you best let us handle this," Shane yelled from behind you, beckoning you to come with him in taking care for the walker.
Nodding, you were about to start walking out there as well, until Rick stepped in the way and intervened, "Shane, hold up. Hershel wants to deal with walkers!"
You felt Shane touch your arm, looking back at Rick and walking on, waiting a bit for you to join them. His shirt was completely unbuttoned down, flowing behind him as he stalked off as he spoke to Rick, "What for? We got it covered."
You fired a look back over your shoulder at Rick, seeing his blank expression turn into one of almost pleading. He was asking you to stay back.
You let out a long sigh before saying lowly, "I'll do what I can to buy time." Then, you turned around and ran after Shane and T-Dog.
You heard Rick mutter something under his breath before he turned around and ran off into the RV. It didn't matter what it was or what you said, you were going to protect your family in the best way you thought fit.
You started to pick up your pace to a run, passing Shane, who was already starting to limp badly from his ankle, but the next person that passed you up surprised you.
Rick shot past you, his arms pumping at his sides with his revolver in one of them.
Quickly turning your gaze back to the walker in front of you all, you sped up, eventually running side-by-side with Rick.
His brow was furrowed and his jaw was clenched, obviously looking like he was stressed about what was happening and the fact that no one was listening to him. You didn't think too much about it, figuring he'd just have to get over it.
Both of you skidded to a halt in front of the predator that was stumbling along, hearing Rick's gun click as he raised it up.
Then, you saw something you had never seen before. The walker stopped in front of you, glaring at Rick instead of blindly staring like all of the others. It looked so familiar.
You squinted a bit, blocking the sun out before getting a good look.
Just as you did, your eyes widened open again, staring at the walker in front of you and feeling as if something had just exploded in your chest, spread a burning pain through you.
Your jaw hung agape as your sword dropped from its usual ready stance.
The walker standing in front of you was Daryl.
Looking down, you stumbled back a bit, breathing heavily. You felt your heart starting to hurt in your chest, which scared you a bit.
Glenn came up beside you, shooting concerned looks from you to Daryl to you again, placing a hand on your shoulder. You barely felt him, and barely heard when Shane spoke. "Is that Daryl?"
His question didn't register with you as you tried to come to terms with the fact that you had lost your friend so quickly and so suddenly.
Then, your gaze was ripped up as a familiar voice reached your ears that you would never have expected to be so happy to hear.
"That's the third time you've pointed that thing at my head! You gonna pull the trigger or what?"
The walker ahead of you started to speak, which made you the most relieved you had been in a while.
You let out a loud exhale, letting your shoulders drop down to the sides as you gazed at your heavily wounded friend.
Everyone around you also seemed to relax, with Glenn bending over and placing his hands on his knees.
You couldn't help that the dusting of a smile made their way across your face, causing you to look down and shake your head for a moment.
There wasn't even a minute of silence before something else reached your ears as it echoed through the clearing.
A gunshot rang out, and you didn't even have time to turn around and see where it came from before you saw something that only made your heart break all over again.
Daryl's head shot back, sending him crumpling to the ground.
All of the air left your body, leaving you staring at your injured friend that was now lying motionless on the ground in front of you.
Chapter 18: Shattered
Chapter Text
"NO!"
You screamed, looking over your shoulder and back to the RV. You had absolutely no doubt of who had done that. Andrea.
You didn't have the power to be mad at the moment and refrain from pushing away the worry and shock of what you had just seen.
Rick was also screaming, but you didn't hear him. Instead, you were more concerned about the man on the ground.
You leapt forward, kneeling down to Daryl's side as soon as you came over to him.
There wasn't a large hole in the center of your friend's forehead like you had expected, but you knew that he had still been hit.
You cupped his face for a moment, frantically looking over him to identify where the bullet had struck him, and it didn't take long.
There was a large graze mark across his left temple. You lightly touched it, grazing it over with your fingers and pushing the hair away from the wound. Your touch made Daryl flinch away, raising his own hand up to his head.
He brushed over his wound, bringing his hand back down to look at it. Before either of you knew it, the rest of the people were gathered around you, and Rick was already making a move to help Daryl back onto his feet.
Leaning, down, you wrapped your arms around Daryl's torso and began to pull him up, finding some strength that you didn't have before.
Daryl had seemed to have completely lost all feeling, giving you and Rick absolutely no help when you both lifted him up.
"I was kidding," you heard Daryl spit out, breathing heavily as he did. As soon as you got him upright, you took one of his arms and wrapped it around yourself.
"C'mon," you whispered, looking to your side as Daryl's head rested on your shoulder. He had gone out of consciousness.
His eyes closed, and from the looks of just his face, it looked as if Daryl was just peacefully resting his eyes as he laid his head on your shoulder.
You had his hand in yours, squeezing it tightly without knowing as you kept your arm tightly around his waist. You and Rick both kept Daryl up as his feet dragged along the ground in between the both of you.
Looking up, you watched as two figures sprinted across the long stretch of grass between the camp and where you guys were. Andrea looked at you with wide, terrified eyes as she spoke frantically, "Is he dead?!"
If you were honest with yourself, you knew that if you hadn't been holding Daryl, you would have already been up in her face about everything she had just done. But, you stayed silent, only giving her the most deathly glare you had given anyone in a while.
Rick was the one to answer, many getting the hint that you weren't totally thrilled with her at the moment, "Unconscious. You just grazed him."
The rest of the group fell in line around the three of you, with Glenn rambling on worriedly, "But look at him! What the hell happened?!"
You offered the same glare to Glenn, silently telling him to shut up and keep walking, but he was just looking at Daryl and pointing.
"Look, he's wearing ears," Glenn added in, pointing at your friend's chest. You looked down to your side, seeing the dangling body parts hanging around his neck.
Soon after that, you glanced back up to Rick, who was looking at Hershel before reaching over and grabbing the objects from around Daryl's neck and dropping them down into his shirt, "We keep that to ourselves."
All you wanted was to get Daryl into the house and get him stitched up but were once stopped again, and this time by T-Dog.
"Guys," he called out, making you come to a halt and turn around. You gave him a look, but your expression instantly changed when you saw what your friend was holding up.
"Isn't this Sophia's?"
Your eyes fixed onto the doll that he was holding up. It was dirty and ripped in places, but you could see that it was Sophia's.
You paused for a moment, opening your mouth before quickly closing your eyes and shaking your head a bit, "It's not important right now. We have to get him inside now."
As you said that, you got some surprised looks from the rest of the people there. Your dismissive response wasn't something that you thought that they would expect to hear, but at the moment, Daryl was in a critical condition.
"C'mon," you said to Rick when he didn't move from where he was standing and staring at you.
Eventually, everyone was on the move again and had made their way over to Hershel, who was standing near the path to his farm.
"What happened out there?" The older man asked as he started walking beside you.
"He was shot," you started, speaking quickly and slipping into your surgical mode, "Mistaken for a walker."
You looked over to him, keeping as calm as possible and taking the role of the doctor instead of him this time.
"I need some thread and a sterilized needle," you began.
"He has a large wound on his left side. I also need some bandages and gauze. The graze isn't bleeding too much at the moment, but there's another large cut on his head that is at risk of infection," you instructed, to which Hershel took well.
He looked over to Patricia, explaining what he needed to her, to which she nodded and ran into the house. "Were you a doctor?" You shrugged at little at Hershel's question, "More or less."
He didn't ask you much after that and held open the door for you when you and Rick came up to it with Daryl still hanging limply in between you both.
You shuffled awkwardly through the doorway, leading Daryl and Rick through before letting Hershel lead you all upstairs. You hurried after him as much as you could, but it definitely was difficult.
Still, you stayed focused on what you needed to do. As soon as you both got up the stairs, Hershel had opened another room and was beckoning you into it, to which you both hurried.
There was a large bed in the room, and Hershel was already pulling the blankets and some of the pillows off. Shane was still behind the both of you, standing next to Lori as you and Rick guided Daryl over to the bed.
"I got him," you whispered to Rick as you got him sat down on the bed. You felt Rick's arms pull away from Daryl as you put both of your arms around Daryl once more.
Rick had gone down to Daryl's feet, lifting them up onto the bed and pulling off his shoes before dropping them to the ground.
You leaned over the bed, holding the back of Daryl's head and held his head to your shoulder as you slowly and gently lowered and laid him down on the pillows. You were treating him the same way as you would treat putting a baby in a crib.
Quickly after that, you backed away, snapping into action.
Whipping around, you were met with a concerned looking Beth and Patricia, who were holding medical supplies. You offered a quick thanks before watching them leave the room, closing the door behind them.
You set the bucket of water down next to you on a table before turning back around when you heard shuffling and groaning.
"Damn," Daryl whispered, looking down at his side as best as he could at the moment. You walked over to him, placing a hand on his arm to relax him a bit with a stern look on your face.
You looked up at everyone around the room, trying to give them the hint that you wanted them to leave in the most polite way possible.
When only Hershel started moving, you sighed and walked over, soaking the washcloth in the warm water that Patricia had given you, "I'll call you back in when he is fully back. Then we can discuss the doll."
Hershel had already left, and with a look at each other, both Shane and Rick left as well.
You closed your eyes for a moment before dropping the cloth back into the water and turning back to Daryl, who was trying to sit up again. Instead of pushing him back down, you walked over to his bedside once more.
He groaned in pain as he sat up, looking down at his side. You looked down as well, seeing the poor binding he had done over the wound before lightly touching it.
Instantly, he winced away from your touch, clenching his jaw. You moved your eyes to look up at him. Your look was stern, but you were only trying to help him.
He looked up at you with almost a glare, holding your gaze for a while.
Slowly, you started to move forward, reaching out to the binding once more. You could tell that he notably tensed, but he didn't fight you this time when you started to tug lightly at the cloth, loosening from around his waist.
Eventually, it came loose, and you gently pulled it away. The blood-soaked cloth was heavy in your hands, and you could tell it had helped a lot with keeping your friend alive.
His chest was heaving now, and you could hear him breathing extremely heavily, but you continued to work.
"Take your shirt off," you demanded, not even waiting to see if he followed your instructions as you disposed of the binding in a waste can.
When you turned around, you could tell that Daryl was notably struggling with removing his shirt with the groans and winces that racked his body.
You began to step forward, reaching out in an offer to help, but Daryl had caught you.
"I got it," he growled through clenched teeth, making you roll your eyes a bit before sitting and waiting. Instead of just watching him take his clothes off, you turned and took some gauze off of the table next to you.
When you looked back again, you saw that Daryl had successfully gotten his shirt off and was holding his side with his dirt-caked hand. You walked over, taking Daryl gently by the wrist and lifting his hand off of his wound and placing the gauze in it.
"Hold that against your head," you instructed before going back and getting the needle and thread, along with the wet, warm cloth. He took out of your hand, slowly lifting it up and pressing against his forehead.
You nodded, ringing out the cloth before looking down at him, "Roll on your side."
When you told him to do that, his eyes shot up to you. He looked scared of what you just instructed him to do, which was definitely strange for him.
There was a long pause between the both of you, and you raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to turn over and not seeing why he wouldn't want to stay off his bad side.
With a quiet sigh, Daryl obeyed and laid down on his side, turning over. When he did so, he exposed something that you were completely shocked and surprised to see.
As your eyes trailed over him, they fixed on his back. More so, they fixed on the large, puffed-up scars that stretched across his shoulders and lower back.
That same feeling as before came back in your chest as you continued to stare at him. You felt your heart chipping into pieces from the sight before you, but you quickly caught yourself afterward.
You didn't want to make it seem to Daryl like you were staring at his scars, and more so, you didn't want to think of how he would have gotten them.
Reaching forward, you placed the washcloth to Daryl's side, making him wince and hiss an exhale out as you did. You kept it there for a bit before slowly starting to clean the dirt and grime away.
You could tell that this was hurting him, and you could also tell that he was trying to hide it. He wasn't doing a terrific job though.
Going back to the table, you took some rubber surgical gloves that were sitting there, pulling them over your own hands before going and grabbing the needle and threading it.
All the while, even though you weren't looking at him, Daryl remained in your mind and the scars on his back.
You blinked heavily, bringing yourself back to focus before turning around to the man on the bed again, who was still checking out his side. You moved back to him, leaning over the bed again and getting a good view of where you would have to stitch.
You wanted to get this over quickly, being that you hated it as much as most of your patients did, so you started quickly.
Reaching down, you pinched the two side of the hole together and began to stitch with a steady hand. He winced and groaned quietly, but you knew that pausing would only make it worse. You needed to be focused on what you were doing.
From where you were standing, you seemed to have cleaned out his wound good enough though.
Once you finished, you tied off the stitching, leaning down after and biting off the remaining string. You finished the other wound opening as fast as you could.
You backed up after that, admiring your work for a while before looking back to Daryl, who was looking from you to his stitched-up side. You nodded, signaling that it was done and that he would be just fine.
He laid back down with a loud exhale, still holding the gauze to his head.
"Sit up," you said quietly, pulling over the tub of water once again. He looked over his shoulder but did as you said as quickly as he could.
Once he was sitting upright, you brought the cloth out of the water again and up to Daryl's forehead. He lowered the gauze down, giving you a bit of a sideways glance. You tried not to stare back. In your opinion, you had been doing that too much lately.
Gently, you brushed it against his head, clearing away the blood and dirt that lined the edges of the wound.
The white cloth stained red, but by the time you were done, it was almost completely cleaned away.
Once you were done with treating his bullet wound, you moved onto the scrape on the other side of his head, turning his gaze towards you a bit.
Looking down, you saw Daryl's face twist into pain, quickly looking up back after that. The other wound was easier to clean off, but it was harder to get to.
When you finally finished, you realized that you could feel Daryl's breath on your shoulder. His cheek was only inches away from yours, and when you started to feel yours heat up, you quickly backed away and turned to wash the cloth again.
Looking up at the wall, you sighed, speaking without turning around, "How did that happen?" You kept your voice as level as possible before turning and going back to him.
You leaned on the edge of the bed, looking down at Daryl and waiting for a reply. He shifted a bit, answering quietly, "Damn horse threw me off. Sent me tumblin' down the ridge and onto one of my arrows."
You nodded, sitting down behind Daryl without warning and starting to clean the scrapes that spread across his skin. You could tell that it took him by surprise and that he tried to flinch away, looking over his shoulder.
"Relax," you said, holding eye contact with Daryl.
There were a few moments of silence and staring before Daryl turned back around and you began running the cloth over his cuts.
"Well," you started, "You did all the right things. Except getting thrown down the hill in the first place." You remark earned a scoff from the man in front of you as he continued.
"Horse was scared by damn near everything, " he explained, shaking his head. You hummed a response, cleaning away a large area of dirt that was caked and packed into a scrape.
Dropping the cloth down to your lap, you sighed, "I'm gonna have to get you some antibiotics. You've done a number on yourself."
After you finished, you leaned over and dipped the cloth back into the water once more. Daryl grunted in response along with the closest thing he could come to shrugging, "Gone through worse."
You snickered to yourself, turning back to his back and beginning to wipe it down again, "Was the poison oak worse than this?" There was a brief moment before Daryl started to laugh quietly as well. You were glad you could do that for him.
"Poison oak didn't give me stitches," Daryl stated. "I thought I remembered telling you not to do anything stupid," you said playfully. Still, you smiled to yourself, going over to ring out the cloth once more.
In that moment of silence, you let your eyes wander around the man in front of you once more. You thought he looked muscular with his shirt on.
His frame was perfectly sculpted, as were his broad shoulders and arms. You still held the damp cloth on one of his scratches, but you were in no hurry to look away from the person sitting in front of you.
STOP.
You blinked quickly, becoming frustrated with yourself and allowing yourself to think like that, and even going as far to scare yourself.
You looked over, pushing yourself off of the bed quickly and hurrying over to the bucket of water.
Dunking the washcloth again, you pulled it out and rung it before turning and handing it over to Daryl, who was looking up at you. "Take this," you said, pushing it into Daryl's hands before drying your hands off on your jeans and turning to stalk out of the room, "You look like shit."
After, you quickly closed the door behind you, meeting a concerned looking Carol that was standing right outside. You looked over at her, then down to her hands, which were grasping the small doll.
She seemed to look at you like she knew something was going on. It looked like a mixture of disappointment and sadness. You sighed looking down and nodding before quickly looking back up and speaking softly, "He'll be fine."
When you saw her again, her expression didn't change in the slightest. She dropped her hands down, nodding quietly before turning and walking down the stairs, leaving you standing alone outside the room.
You sighed loudly once more before turning and going down the steps. You hurried down to the bottom, seeing Rick and Shane waiting there with Hershel, and even though you hadn't been there earlier, you could feel the heavy tension in the air around you.
You looked over at Rick, nodding softly and looking down, "Yeah, he's..." You looked up again, still nodding and shrugging, "He's fine. All there, far as I'm concerned."
Rick nodded and was the first to head up there, followed by Shane, leaving you and Hershel at the bottom of the stairs. He walked up to you with two prescription bottles in his hands. One was a painkiller, and the other was antibiotics.
When you looked back up at his eyes, he looked serious, but grateful in a way. You couldn't place for what though. He gave you a bit of a nod before heading upstairs, and you looked after him, debating on going back up there.
You bit your lip tightly before turning back around and feeling that you were just too frustrated to do anything else. You just needed to get out of that house and on your own for a while.
You turned and stalked off towards the front door, passing up Glenn and T-Dog, who were sitting at a table.
Both of them instantly stood up, but neither of them said a single word as you walked past them and out the door, slamming it behind you.
When you looked out across the land, your eyes were instantly drawn down to someone who was sitting on the steps, hunched over themselves. Your shoulders instantly tensed at the sight of them and your jaw clenched.
Andrea looked over her shoulder, and you saw her eyes go wide at the sight of you. Still, though you had the opportunity to yell until your face turned blue, you didn't want to waste your time on her.
Without another look, you walked past her, glaring off into the air at nothing specific, but that wasn't the case with her.
You heard her scrambling up from sitting, but you didn't stop. "Is he--" you heard her start to ask, but you cut her off.
"Go see for yourself, Andrea," you practically snarled. Didn't matter if you told her or not to you. Hell, maybe if she thought he was dead, she'd start feeling pretty shitty. Let her do that for all you cared.
You weren't going to humor the person who shot one of the people in this camp you really cared about.
To your surprise and regret, the instant you thought about caring for him set off a spark inside of you, causing a raging fire to start to burn.
You began walking faster and farther away from the farmhouse, eyes burning with pure rage and frustration.
You were infuriated with yourself for allowing yourself to lose control of what you were doing and thinking, and you were frustrated because of Sophia and everything that had just happened with Daryl and Andrea. Still, you didn't want to think about it.
~ Glenn's P.O.V. ~
As soon as he saw his friend storming through the kitchen with the look of just wanting to murder someone, he knew that something was up with her. He had been sitting with T-Dog, awaiting the news of the turnout of the redneck that had been wounded.
If it hadn't been for the fact that he had overheard her conversation with Shane, Rick, and Hershel, he would have thought that Daryl had succumbed to the worst.
He got up out of his seat, but [Y/N] had already left the farmhouse, slamming the door behind her as she did. He sighed, making his shoulders drop down and looked over at T-Dog, who looked just as worried and helpless as he had.
Glenn, who didn't want to see a friend that way, started walking outside. He didn't have a plan on talking to her at all but only wanted to keep an eye on her.
If there was one thing that he knew, it was that [Y/N] had a temper that she could use. He was just afraid it would make her do something stupid at sometimes.
He opened the screen door, stepping out and meet a very shaken-up Andrea, who turned to him instantly. "Is he..?"
Glenn nodded his head quietly after that, "He's fine." He watched as Andrea's shoulders dropped down and she let out a few shaky breaths. After that, she turned around, looking after [Y/N], who was stalking off to God knows where and shaking her head.
"I just--" Andrea began, looking down at the ground. Glenn shrugged, shaking his head as well, "Don't worry, she'll be fine."
He looked after [Y/N], who had only gotten farther away and responded to Andrea once again. "She thought that she lost Daryl," Glenn explained, looking back at Andrea, "And right after Sophia? You just... You have to imagine how much that had to scare her."
Andrea turned back around again, kneeling back down and sitting on the porch steps again, resting her elbows on her knees. Glenn still looked off at his friend.
Even though she hadn't been one to really show it very often at all, there were times when even [Y/N] got scared. She always tried to hide it and be strong for Carol and the group, but he knew that now was a time when she was having a bit more trouble with concealing it.
* * *
~ Your P.O.V. ~
Later that day, when the sun had finally started to set, you decided to come in. You really could have done more of the walking, but you didn't want to worry Carol anymore than she already was worried.
You had gotten some more time to think about everything, and eventually, had calmed down.
You had your space alone, but you didn't have the privilege of just up and abandoning your responsibilities. You also didn't have the luxury of just throwing your hands in the air and backing out. So, you came back inside and came to dinner.
As soon as you got up to the porch, Carol was waiting for you. Her expression that was shown on her face was much different from the one before.
She was smiling, and when you came up to her, she reached out and gripped your arm lightly with her hand, speaking barely above a whisper, "You okay?"
Looking down for a moment, you nodded, let out a heavy breath and looking back up, "Yeah." Carol seemed to accept this answer by nodding in return and granting you passage into the house once more.
As you stepped back into the house, you saw that there were a number of people gathered around two tables.
There were two open spots next to Rick, and when he saw you both enter, he looked up and crooked a smile at you. You nodded before going over and pulling the chair out that was the closest to Rick.
He scooted over a bit, giving you some room to get in, and you quickly sat down after that. Carol took a seat next to you, pulling in the chair and looking around at everyone there.
There was an odd and uncomfortable tension that hung in the air, and when you had been placing a bit of food on your plate, you caught Hershel staring at Rick, who you could tell was trying not to look back.
Neither of their expressions were readable, but you tried not to notice too much. Eventually, you just focused on eating.
The food was nice, like the fact that Hershel let all of you into his house. But, the thing that you were most grateful for was definitely the food.
Still, something didn't sit right in your stomach, and no matter how much you tried to hide it, it ate at you until you finally did something.
Sighing quietly, you stood up for a moment, catching the attention of the rest of the group. "I'm just," you paused, cocking thumb over your shoulder, "I'm just gonna get a plate for Daryl."
You stood there, pretty awkwardly for a moment before you backed up and pushed your chair in and headed off to the kitchen. You looked around for a plate and quickly found one, along with a tray to hold the plate and drink.
Luckily, there were still some bowls with mashed potatoes in them and the canned ham itself.
Moving around, you plated a healthy portion of everything before going over and filling a large glass with water.
It was a bit of a strange looking plate, but it would do. Besides, you really didn't see Dixon complaining about this at the moment.
You looked around, checking to see if you missed anything. You wiped your hands on your pants again, sighing as you picked up the tray and headed towards the stairs again. And, even though you had left, you hadn't heard anything from anyone else in the other room.
Lively crowd.
You were just starting to make your way upstairs.
"[Y/N]?" Hearing your aunt call your name, you stopped and turned around, raising your eyebrows. She walked up to you, smiling and crossing your arms.
"When you go up there," she began as you started to walk back down the stairs, "Would you give him something for me?"
You looked around a little before setting the tray down on a small table and turning back to your aunt. "Sure, yeah," you said, waiting for Carol to pull out whatever she wanted to give him, "What do you need?"
She smiled at you, walking forward and uncrossing her arms from over her chest. She gently put her hands on the sides of your face, kissing your forehead with a smile still on her face.
Your brow furrowed as she pulled away, still confused about what she needed.
Then, it clicked.
Your shoulders dropped, and you sighed, knowing what he had just pulled.
"Right," you said with somewhat of another sigh before turning around and grabbing the tray again.
By this time, Carol was walking back to the table again. You looked after her for a while before starting to go back up the stairs again.
When you got to the top and to Daryl's door, you knocked lightly before you reached down and turned the doorknob with one hand and holding the tray with the other.
You pushed the door open, catching as Daryl tried to pull the sheets over himself and cover the marks across his back. You cleared your throat again, setting the tray down on a nightstand beside him.
He turned over, trying to get a good look at you, but you didn't look back at him for a while.
"I, uh," you started, gesturing to the tray and finally turning back to the man on the bed, "I brought you up some food. Figured you're probably pretty hungry."
Daryl only answered with a grunt, not even turning over fully. You sighed a bit, letting your guard drop down for a while before crossing your arms over your chest, "How are you feeling?"
He looked like he attempted to turn over to see you, but ended up just pulling the sheet over him more as he answered hoarsely, "'Bout as good as I look." You looked down again, raising an eyebrow and tilting your head a bit, "That bad, huh?"
When you said that, Daryl looked over his shoulder, and you let a slow but friendly smile spread across your lips.
To your relief, Daryl scoffed and smiled back in the slightest before turning back over. You looked back down at your feet before speaking softly and having a more serious tone to your voice, "Daryl?"
You instantly started debating saying 'never mind' and telling him to forget about it when he grunted again in response to you, but eventually decided against it.
You slowly walked closer to the edge of the bed, still looking down at him and speaking firmly with a soft expression, "You did more for Sophia today than her own dad ever did in his whole life."
You meant it with every part of your heart, which you really didn't use that often. Daryl turned over to look up at you for a while before going back to laying on his side, "I didn't do anything Rick or Shane wouldn't have done."
At that, you sighed once again and closed your eyes, "I know. But you mean more to us than you give yourself credit for. To Carol, too," you added, chuckling softly and shaking your head, "Hell, I'd be the one to know that over anyone else."
Eventually, you knew that you just needed to stop rambling on about things that didn't matter. There was another long moment between the two of you before you eventually did something.
Screw it.
Leaning down over the bed once more, you moved to kiss him on his bandaged temple.
As you did, you couldn't help but notice how much he flinched. He shut his eyes tightly, his whole body tensing up for a second as if this was completely foreign to him. He even made a move to protect his head with his arm. It made you second guess what you were doing.
But, Daryl soon enough relaxed.
Closing the gap between you both quickly, you closed your eyes and gave him a gentle peck on his forehead that didn't last for more than two seconds. Still, you felt your heart beating wildly in your chest for those few seconds before you straightened up.
You refrained from looking back down at Daryl, not wanting to even see what his facial expression was as you backed away from the bed, quickly clearing your throat.
"Watch out, I got stitches," Daryl said coolly from where he was laying.
You shrugged to yourself, speaking it a level voice, "I know. I put them in you, dumbass."
There were another few seconds of you just standing there awkwardly before you made a move to leave out the door, shutting it quietly behind you.
Your mind beat at you with embarrassment and confusion on why you even did that, but you could care less about it. Well, that was what you told yourself.
You started walking down the stairs again, really in the need for a bit of fresh air at the moment. As you hurried down, you heard the clanging of dishes and running water as you looked into the kitchen.
Patricia looked like she had just finished up with them, so didn't bother going in to offer any help.
Instead, you just passed the kitchen entirely and headed for the back porch. It was on the complete opposite side of the house, but it would be quiet.
It didn't take you too long to get there and outside into the cool air that immediately cooled you down. It felt nice on your face that had been burning ever since you left that bedroom.
There was a large chair on one end that looked perfect for you to sit in. Helping yourself, you walked over and sat down lazily in it, sinking into the soft cushions.
As soon as you had gotten off of your feet, you finally realized how insanely tired you were. And, without caring so much anymore, your mind wandered back to Daryl.
Everything that he had done for you and Carol was more than you could ask someone to do. You also thought back to when you first saw in fall to the ground in front of you.
That same feeling of your heart shattering to pieces. That had scared you especially.
Now that it was over, and you knew that Daryl would be alright, you were left with one single thought.
You never realized until that very day how much it scared you to lose him and how much he really meant to you.
Even seeing him in front of you and thinking that he was one of the dead people wandering around made your heart ache.
Sighing, you looked out over the land, bringing your legs up to your chest and resting your chin on your knees like a child would as you slowly started to fall into a deep and dreamless kind of sleep.
Chapter 19: Pull, Not Push
Chapter Text
"One, two three," as you said that, all three of you gave one last heave up, securing the large canopy into place.
T-Dog let out a grunt from that, obviously putting some extra pain into his arm, but he still lifted just as much.
Dale did the same with that, breathing heavily as he stepped back and admired the work that you all had done.
You brushed your hands off before putting them on your hips and stepping back. You had been up since dawn and were helping out with everything that you could manage to, and now, you had just finished with this and had to go on another search for something to occupy your mind.
"Hey," Glenn said from behind all of you, drawing your attention away as he held a large basket of fruit. "Here are some peaches for you guys," he explained, waiting for Dale to pick out one before moving on to you.
Even though you were more concerned with the fruit and food than anything else, you could tell that something was up with Glenn.
All he was doing was staring at the ground in front of him and not even bothering to look up at you. You took a peach silently, holding it in your hands a while before biting into it and looking at Glenn with a furrowed brow.
And he complained about the women acting weird.
But, you really didn't think too much about it as you continued to eat the fruit in your hand.
"S'up," T-Dog said casually as he pulled out a peach of his own. At that, Glenn immediately looked up with a completely worried expression on his face as he answered quickly, "Nothing. Nothing's up. Why?"
By now, Glenn was only digging a deeper hole for himself. His eyes darted around the three of you widely as he let out a loud sigh. You raised an eyebrow at him, waiting to see what he would do next.
There was a long moment of awkward silence before Glenn just picked up the basket again and started to move on.
"Well," Dale said, placing his hands on his hips. You scoffed to your self and turned around, "Must be a great poker player."
T-Dog hummed in what sounded like an agreement before you sighed and dropped your arms down to your sides.
"Alright," you started, turning around and starting to walk off, "I'm gonna go check on Dixon." Dale nodded and watched you walk off towards the tents silently standing next to T-Dog.
After a bit of weaving through roots and folded blankets that were scattered around the camp, you eventually made it to your friend's tent. But, the sight that you saw inside wasn't one you were particularly happy to see.
Andrea was sitting next to Daryl, who was stretched out on the ground and they were talking about something that you were too far away to hear. Still, they seemed to just be finishing up with Andrea starting to leave your friend's side.
You went over and leaned against a tree close to the tent, just catching the last thing that Daryl had said to Andrea. "Shoot me again, you best pray I'm dead."
You glanced at Andrea, who smiled a bit before walking back in your direction and away from the tent. When she started coming towards you, that was when she finally realized that you were standing right there.
You got up from leaning on the tree, offering her only a glance through narrowed eyes before stalking towards your friend's tent again. Once Daryl looked up at you, your expression instantly changed from the hardened one to showing nothing.
"Hey," he said in a monotone voice as you stepped in, ducking in the small space. You knelt down next to him once again as he set a book to his side and picked up one of his bolts again to start playing with it.
You sat back on your knees, looking down at him, "How are you feelin'?" He hummed a bit before dropping his hands down to his lap, "Like shit."
You nodded, shrugging at the same time, "Figured." You looked up at his forehead, narrowing your eyes a bit before leaning forward and reaching for the bandages that still wrapped his head.
Once again, you caught him flinching, but he was quick to relax again. You took the edge from it, unwrapping it from him and letting it fall loosely in your hands before brushing your hand over the graze wound.
It felt like it had scabbed over enough. Sitting back on your heels, you crumpled the dirty bandage in your hand, "Just don't pick at it and it should heal fine."
Daryl went back to fiddling with his arrow, humming in reply. You looked down at your feet, opening your mouth hesitantly, "Thank you."
Daryl glanced over at you, looking at you for a while before you looked up at him as well. Both of you stared at each other for a while before Daryl looked back down at his hands again, "Yeah... Don't mention it."
You glanced back down at the ground once more before wiping the smile away from your face, "How'd you even get out of there anyway?"
There was a long pause, and you caught traces of a small smile on Daryl's face before he looked up at you, "Just kinda talked myself into it I guess."
His reply was slick and even a bit humorous, which you couldn't point out why, but you didn't question him any more. You sighed and started to move to stand up, speaking as you did, "Shane and Rick are having us out for gun training today. I should get to going."
You saw him nod a bit before you turned around and started to head out. "[Y/N]?" You turned around instantly after you heard Daryl call to you, raising your eyebrows. His voice was serious and quiet as he spoke to you.
"What you saw yesterday," he started, which confused you a bit before you concluded that he meant his scars. He looked down and back up quickly, nodding, "Appreciate if you kept that to yourself."
Furrowing your brow, you gave a small shrug, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
When you gave him a sideways grin, his mouth twitched up into one as well before looking back at his bolt and poking holes in the side of his tent again.
Figuring that the conversation had pretty much come to an end, you started to walk on to find Rick and whoever was going up to practice on targets. You didn't get very far at all out of the tent before your head was turned as you heard someone call out for you.
"Hey! [Y/N]!" Someone whistled, and you glanced over at Rick and Shane, who were gathered around the car once more with the map rolled out. You started walking over, hand resting on your sword handle.
Rick looked over his shoulder at you, making some room for you as you stepped up next to him. "Hey," he said quietly before starting to fill you in. "We're tryin' to pinpoint the spot where Sophia might have dropped that doll," he explained, "Now, here's what we're thinking."
He leaned over the hood, running his finger along a stretch of blue, which you assumed was the creek.
Following with your eyes, you listened silently as he explained even more. "The creek flows south of that farmhouse Daryl found," he said, looking up at you and Shane after that, "Maybe Sophia dropped the doll there, and the current brought it downstream."
You nodded, but a sigh was the only response Shane gave before leaning over and pointing at the map as well, speaking, "So what, you think she took this road here and she went north?"
Rick nodded after that, turning to Jimmy, who was leaning on the hood next to you, "Yeah, what's up there?" Jimmy seemed to think for a bit before answering calmly, "A housing development. Went in maybe... Ten years ago."
Rick nodded, looking back to Shane, "Yeah, take a run up there after gun training. I'll hold down the fort here, but take backup." Rick looked over to you, shaking his head.
"After what went down with Daryl," he looked back in front of him, still shaking his head, "I don't want anyone going out alone. We stay in pairs." Shane nodded, straightening up and glancing over his shoulder, "I'll take suggestions on a partner."
Rick shrugged after that, "See how they do in training, then take your pick." You turned around as well after Rick did, seeing your friend standing there with the basket of peaches still in his hands.
Glenn looked just as nervous, if not more nervous than before. Still, it wasn't your business, and you trusted Glenn not to keep anything from all of you that was really dangerous or important. Plus, he was your friend, and you had enough loyalty not to call him out in front of the major voices in the group.
"Thanks," you said after taking another peach, having finished the other one from before. He nodded, but he didn't seem like he was all there. He had this far-away look on his face like a deer in the headlights.
You furrowed your brow as he just stopped and stood in one place for a while, silently. There was a long, awkward paused that you could tell Rick and Shane noticed as hey turned around to look at him as well.
There was definitely something eating away at him. It only got weirder when he glanced over his shoulder at Lori and then back again.
"My binoculars," Shane said, making Glenn snap back hurriedly. "Oh, right," in what looked like a panicked rush, Glenn set the basket down took the heavy-duty binoculars off from around himself and handed them over.
Leaning down, Glenn picked up the bucket again and moved on, "Okay. Bye." You looked over your shoulder and watched him as he walked off.
There was a long silence, and when you looked back, you saw that Rick and Shane were both staring at you as if they expected you to know what was going on with him. You only furrowed your brow and shrugged before going back to looking at the map again.
You bit into the fruit you had, hearing Rick and Shane chuckling about something before all of you looked over that the two people who had walked up to the group around the car.
"We'd like to join you for gun trainin' today," you heard the young girl with blonde hair propose as she stood next to Patricia.
The smile on Rick's face melted away as he replied very firmly to the two girls, "Hershel's been very clear. I can't involve any one of you in what we do without his okay."
The young blonde girl, who you assumed was Beth, looked over to Patricia who was at her side still, "He doesn't like it, but he consented."
She seemed truthful in what she said, and really didn't seem like the lying type, but last time you trust one of these Greene's to go out, he had lied straight to your faces.
"Otis was the only one that knew guns," Patricia explained, crossing her arms and shrugging, "Now that he's gone, we gotta learn to protect ourselves. Her father saw the sense in that."
Still, Rick looked down and shook his head, answering just as firmly as before, "No offense, but I'll ask Hershel myself." You looked over Rick's shoulder, noticing Carl was up and walking. You were happy to see that.
Silently, you walked around Rick and over to his boy, who was looking down and sharpening his knife.
Smiling to yourself, you sneaked up and hit the brim of his hat up as you walked past him, making him look up and grin at you. You smiled back down, stopping and placing your hands on your hips, "Howdy sheriff. Nice hat."
When he only shrugged in response, you knew something was eating at him. You walked around the front of the RV, leaning on it as you looked down at him, "What's up?"
He was still looking down, but when he did finally look up, he spoke completely confidently, "I wanna learn to shoot, too." You raised an eyebrow, but he continued, "Can you ask Shane if he'll teach me?"
You sighed, itching the back of your neck, as you were a bit confused on how to answer this question, "Uh."
You chuckled a bit after that, crossing your arms over your chest, "Well, that's-- that's something you'll have to take up with your parents." Still, Carl pushed on with what he was asking, "Can you talk to them? They listen to you. You're a doctor anyways, so they kinda have to, right?"
You chuckled once again at this, looked down at your feet and shook your head, "Even if I am a doctor I don't think that really has anything to do with wanting you to shoot." You shrugged, looking up at him once again, "But we'll see, okay? I'll ask them."
Carl nodded a bit, still looking down but started to walk on. When he did, you heard a familiar clicking down coming from him and were quick to stop him.
"Hey," you said firmly as you got up from the RV and walked over to him.
Already, you saw his shoulders sink as he knew he had been caught. You stood in front of him, arms crossed and looking at him sternly and waiting.
When he didn't move to do anything, you reached out your hand, "C'mon. Hand it over."
When you said that, he opened his mouth to protest, but when you flashed him another look, he closed it quickly.
Reaching down and pulling up his shirt a bit, you watched him as he exposed the gun that you had been given by Daryl earlier.
How did this gun end up in so many stupid hands?
You thought to yourself but said nothing as Carl pulled it out from his belt and handed it to you.
"Thank you," you said, shoving it in your own belt before dropping your hands down.
"Go on," you said dismissively, waiting for Carl to start walking back towards the tents with his head down. You watched him, feeling a bit bad about it, but you knew what you had to do.
Looking back over at Rick, who was still standing by the car now only with Jimmy, you started to make your way back.
"Rick," you said, making him turn around and look at you. "How's Carl?" When he asked that, you sighed and shrugged, "He's doing fine but..." You trailed off before going and placing the weapon you had gotten from him down on the car, "Caught him walking around with that in his pocket."
Rick looked down at the table, quickly looking back up at you after that before snatching it off and hiding it in his own belt.
"Shit," Shane said, sighing and shaking his head and looking down. You crossed your arms and leaned on the front again, looking at Shane. "He wanted me to ask you if you would teach him to shoot," you said coolly, looking around at the men around you with no expression.
Rick only sighed before touching your arm and tilting his head, "C'mon." You obeyed, following him and falling in line next to Shane, who was following him as well.
Still, out of the corner of your eye, you saw Carl, staring at you from sitting on a tree stump. You could only imagine the look on his face.
"Lori," Rick called out, gaining the attention of his already frightened looking wife. Everyone was acting so strange today. She nervously wiped her hands on her jeans, looking around all of you, "Yeah?"
As Rick got closer, he sighed and placed his hands on his hips, "[Y/N] was talkin' to Carl."
After that, he pulled out the small handgun from before and her eyes instantly went to it with her jaw dropping. "She got this from him," he concluded, waiting for her to take it out of his hands.
She didn't hesitate to rip it out of his hands and check it. She looked up at you, shoving the gun in her belt now, "How the hell did this happen?"
You furrowed your brow, shaking your head and shrugging. Why did everyone think you knew what was going on? But it was Dale who answered after hearing this, "Well, it's my fault. I let him into the RV."
You looked over at him as he shrugged, "He said he wanted a walkie-- that you sent him for one."
Lori scoffed, looking from Dale to Rick to you as she spoke angrily, "So on top of everything else, he lied?" She looked over at him, and you finally looked back at him as well.
She shook her head and spoke softly to Rick, "What's he thinking?" You sighed, speaking up finally, "He wants to learn how to shoot. He asked me to tell you and to try to talk you into it."
Looking over at Shane, you tilted your head, "And he wants Shane to teach him." You shifted your weight, following quickly after, "I know it is none of my business, but I would consider it. It's still your call overall though."
There was a brief pause before Shane spoke up, shrugging and looking at Rick and Lori, "I'm happy to teach him."
Lori scoffed after that, shaking her head, "Well I'm not comfortable with it."
There was another longer paused as you reached up and scratched the back of your head mindlessly as you thought about it.
Really, in your opinion, it was the best thing for survival for Carl. Get him learning now before it's too late and maybe it'll come in handy at some point. Plus, it would make Carl safer out there on his own.
As you looked up, you noticed that Shane was staring at Lori, to which she caught as well. "Oh don't make me out to be the unreasonable one here," she started, looking over at her husband, "Rick?"
Rick straightened up after that, and you watched them carefully, "I know. I have my concerns too, but--"
Before he could finish, Lori quickly cut him off, "There is no 'but' he was just shot! He's just back on his feet and he wants a gun?" Rick answered coolly, taking a much calmer approach to this all, "Better than him being afraid of them."
You sighed, beginning to zone out of their bickering about the gun. If it were you, you'd let him, but under a very close eye.
He'd need to be extremely serious about what he was doing and he couldn't be silly about it, otherwise, that privilege gets taken off the table and he would be back to sitting in camp and waiting until he is much older to even pick up a gun again. Still, you'd want him to at least start.
Only when Carl got up and started walking over to your small group did you realize you were staring off into the distance.
"I'm not gonna play with it mom," the young boy said as he stepped into the group, "It's not a toy." You looked from Rick to Carl again, waiting for him to continue on.
"I'm sorry I disappointed you, but I want to look for Sophia and I want to protect the camp," he said before shaking his head, "I can't do that without a gun."
Your eyebrows raised as you looked back at the rest of them, feeling that he made a good argument for wanting the weapon.
Rick turned to Lori again after a moment, "Shane's the best instructor I know. I've seen him teach kids younger than Carl." Lori didn't say anything for a long while after that, only looking back at Shane for a moment before looking back.
She seemed to stare off into nothing for a while as she tried to make a decision, before finally seeming to act on one. She looked over at her son and walked over, raising a hand up and gripping his face tightly in it as she spoke.
"You will take this seriously," she started, "And you will behave responsibly. And if I hear from anyone in this camp that you are not living up to our expectations--" You glanced over her shoulder before stepping closer to Lori, speaking softly, "He won't let you down."
She turned around to you, and you conveyed that you would make sure that he wouldn't be goofing around at all. She could trust Carl with you, and you wanted her to know that.
Lori looked like she wanted to say something to you, but when she looked over your shoulder, she must have seen Rick, and he must have had a supporting look on his face.
Carl looked at you from behind his mother and nodded, answering as he did, "Yeah."
That made Lori look back over to her son, placing both of her hands on either side of his face for a moment before sighing and walking past him, leaving all of you in silence.
Once she was gone, you looked down at Carl, cocking a soft smile in his direction before you started off, leaving Rick to talk to Carl. Shane came with you, going over to get his own car and leaving you to start walking to where you saw Carol was in the cars with a smile still on your face.
* * *
"Nice shot." You looked over at Rick, who had come up next to you and had been watching you shoot for a while. You had fired sixteen shots and had hit the target fourteen times.
You cocked a crooked smile at him, nodding in thanks before lowering your handgun and waiting for the rest of the group to hit their targets.
Eventually, Rick and Shane had gotten through everyone, and they all were going to set up some new targets. Two people you noticed were doing exceptionally well were Carl and Andrea.
They both surprised you, but at least there were less dangerous hands in the camp.
You reached down and picked up another half-empty bottle of water in a wine glass, but quickly decided to put it back down. Instead, you grabbed a tin can, which was a much smaller target.
Setting it up quickly, you started to walk back to the line where you were shooting. Andrea was just testing out another gun that looked a bit more heavy duty and after a while of aiming hit the target and set it flying off of the fence.
Your eyebrows raised in surprise of her work. Shane and Rick seemed to be praising her as well.
Eventually, they came back down the line, signaling that everyone could start shooting again.
Raising your gun up, you aimed and quickly fired after that, not wanting to waste too much time. You heard a clattering shortly after.
Lowering your gun, you confirmed that the target was no longer there.
"Good," you heard Shane say from beside you as he stepped up, "I like that. You don't think about it." You looked over your shoulder, nodding a bit but staying silent. He eventually moved on, but your narrowed eyes never left him.
For some reason that you couldn't explain, you didn't trust him at all. His aggressive attitude made you uneasy, as did his temper.
There wasn't really much you could say about him though. Rick was his best friend, and there obviously had been something between him and Lori.
Plus, you didn't think that you had much of an immense say in the group. But all of that wouldn't keep you from having an eye on him.
* * *
Shorty after all of that, gun training ended. Andrea was taken off to the advanced class, and the rest of you beside her and Shane returned back to the farm.
You hadn't found much of anything else to do after you finished up with helping your aunt with the laundry. You became bored and felt like you weren't doing anything, which you hated even more than doing the laundry.
Eventually, lunch had rolled around, and you ate, also bringing a plate to Daryl.
"Knock, knock," you said before stepped into his tent with a plate. You heard shuffling, and when you looked down at your friend, he was sitting up with his legs crisscrossed in front of him.
You handed him down the plate that he took gratefully before you sighed and invited yourself to sit down across from him.
As he started to eat, you looked past him and to his crossbow mindlessly. You couldn't help but notice that he only had one bolt. He must have lost the others in the creek.
"Hey," you heard Daryl say as he sat across from you, looking as if he had been trying to get your attention for a while as he lowered his fork down.
Blinking quickly, you looked over at him, "What?" He relaxed back again, asking just before he shoved another piece of ham into his mouth, "Gun training?"
You nodded for a bit, "Yeah, it went well. Shouldn't have to worry about Andrea shooting you anymore either."
Daryl grunted in reply before setting his plate down by his side that he had already cleared before licking his fingers off.
"Your arrows?" You asked as you looked from him to his crossbow. He looked over his shoulder before reaching behind him and pulling out one and holding it in his hands, "Only one I got."
You nodded as he sighed and set it down before going and leaning back down on his makeshift bed again as he spoke, "I'll go another run again once I can get out of here." You nodded, "Give it one more day in here and you'll be set tomorrow."
He scoffed a bit as he shifted, to which you started to sit up.
"Doctor's orders," you replied bleakly before stepping out of the tent. As you walked away from him, an idea appeared in your mind.
There wasn't much to around here at the moment, and something needed to be done elsewhere.
Turning your head towards the stables, you looked around for Rick. He looked like he was just talking something over with Lori. So, he looked occupied.
You looked back at the stables and started off towards them quickly. You knew that Rick wanted everyone to go out into pairs after what happened to Daryl, but you wouldn't be going out too far. Plus, it's easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission.
You jogged across the small field to the wooden building and stepped into the open doors. Perfect timing.
Hershel was just leaving the stables when you walked over and called out, "Hershel?" He stopped and turned around, facing you with an unreadable expression.
You stopped in front of him, cocking a thumb over your shoulder as you spoke, "The cars are pretty low on fuel. I was just going to go back to the traffic jam to get some more and I was wondering if I could use one of your horses."
Yes, you lied, but it was a lot more convincing than just wanting to do your friend a favor.
He seemed to consider this a bit before sighing and walking back to the stables again and grabbing some tackle from one of the doors.
"I'll allow it," he said, opening a stable door and reaching in to pull the horse out as he looked back to you, "Only because you asked."
You forged your sweetest smile before going over and taking the lead from his hands, "Thanks." He nodded and began walking out of the stables again as back to the house.
As soon as he rounded the corner, your smile instantly dropped and you went back to looking at the horse.
Taking the bridle off of the hook on the wall, you started to saddle it up. It nickered a little, but hopefully, it was nothing like Daryl's horse had been.
You slung the heavy blanket over it's back, brushing it out as you did before moving down to the front of it and running a hand down its long face. You had worked with horses before all of this started, working on a friend's farm. So, it didn't take you long at all to saddle up and ready to go.
You gave it a firm pat on its strong shoulder before stepping to the side and mounting it. Once you had swung your other leg over its side, you were ready and already starting out of the building.
Crossing Rick before going out would definitely be a problem, so you planned out to take your horse through a trail in the woods and double back, completely out of sight.
There had been a few run-down buildings that you had passed before you had come to the barn. It was a stretch, but it was your best bet on finding anything and not getting caught.
"Hyah," you said quietly, firmly kicking the horse in the side with your heal and setting it into a hurried trot. Marking a spot in the trees where there was a gap, you directed the horse off and threw the trees, slowing as you came to that.
"Whoa," you spoke to it once again, pulling back on the reins and making it slow.
There were roots sprouting out everywhere across the path that you avoided with your horse with ease, but your main concern was just getting to that place and getting back there. Preferably with something to show for it. And, preferably alive above all else. That was the biggest priority at the moment.
* * *
After riding for about half an hour, you had come back to that gas-station that you had passed on the way to Hershel's place. You couldn't even tell what most of the buildings had used to be, but there was a sign above one of them that was still readable.
You could just make out a large deer head, which made you assume that was a hunting shop.
Pulling your horse up to a pole, you brought it to a stop and dismounted it. After quickly tying it up, you brought your hand down and pulled out your sword from the sheathe in your belt before stepping up to the store doors.
You tried to get a good look at what was inside throw the dirty windows, but could hardly make out anything.
One thing you couldn't make out was movement from walkers , so that was a plus. You slowly brought a hand down to one of the doors that said 'enter' in large letters before looking up. You could just make out a small bell hanging from the top of it and quickly decided against entering in that door.
Moving onto the next, you slowly pushed it open, making as little noise as was possible for you at the moment. Thankfully, it hardly made any.
Now that you had a clearer look of everything inside, you could see slow objects moving about. You also hear the groans.
Shit.
You wished you could have said that out loud, but with all of the walkers, you wouldn't risk it.
There were plenty of aisles throughout this entire place, so you assumed that you would be able to just sneak past them and look for what you needed. Killing one of them would attract others, and you had no idea how many there were anyways.
Acting quickly, you ducked to your right and into one of the aisles, stepping heel to toe as quietly as possible in your hurried state.
Being that they were making much more noise than you were, it was much easier for you to follow where they were.
Your eyes flashed from the shelves to either side of you, watching and searching at the same time. There really wasn't anything of use to you in this aisle, so as stealthily as possible, you started to move on to the next one.
There didn't seem to be any walkers that were starting to come your way at the moment, so you did it smoothly and quickly.
Your luck didn't seem to be heightening any as you came to the next aisle and didn't find anything that piqued your interest in what you were looking for.
But, one thing off the shelves did. As you were looking around you, your eyes caught something as it walked by you.
A walker with a large bite mark carved in its neck had a quiver hanging from it filled with arrows. You guessed that he had been coming in here for the same thing, but you hoped that you wouldn't be leaving here the same way.
Perfect.
Gripping your sword that was still hanging in your hand, you shifted your weight to go and lunge at it. But, something else crossed in front of you before you got any farther.
Another walker hobbled close behind it, making you creep back as quietly as possible. You swore it would have been able to hear the pounding heartbeat coming from you, but you guessed that it was only you.
Backing into a place where there didn't seem to be many of the prowling killers, you began to think up a plan in your head. Eventually, you came up with one, though it seemed like a bit of a stretch.
Not wasting any more time, you were on the move again, creeping through the aisles as the growls and hissing sound filled your ears. You kept in the shadow as you crawled around the edges of the store, completely silent as you did so.
From where you were moving, there only seemed to be about ten walkers inside that store, and none of them seemed to have noticed you yet. You just hoped it stayed that way.
Still, you didn't want to just jump out and start attacking the ones that you could see. The store was pretty big, and there could be others.
Your sword grazed over the ground from time to time, but other than that, no sound came from you.
Soon enough, you got to the other side of the store and back to the doors, looking up at the top of the entrance once before back down and around the corner. Twelve walkers now. Your heart started to race a bit as you noticed the closest one to the door.
That was the one you were going for. It was still a ways away, but you thought that you could lure it to you.
Screw it.
You thought it over a bit before finally making the decision to act. Reaching your sword up, you hit the bell lightly, causing it to ring out.
Instantly, the walker turned around in your direction as it started to hobble towards you. You tensed up, waiting for it to come just a bit closer before--
You were cut off in your thoughts by loud hissing behind you and cans and such being kicked around. You barely had enough time to turn around and stand up before the surprise walker lunged at you, knocking you heavily again the wall and sending stuff clattering down behind you.
You were sure that you had an eye on all of the walkers, but there had to have been somewhere else they were coming from.
You yelled out in frustration and pain as something cut across your face on the way down.
Pushing the walker away from you with one hand, you looked around wildly for a moment. You noticed that all of the other walkers had heard you now and were starting to make their way toward you as well.
In your frantic search around, you realized that your sword had slipped out of your hand and had been kicked away by either you or the walker that was still attacking you.
"Damn it," you said aloud now, still fighting to push the walker away from you. As it came closer, you turned your face to the side, shutting your eyes tightly for a moment before slowly opening them as you felt your arms shake and quiver from the heavy weight.
When you did, they quickly shot open soon after. One of the items on the shelf beside you was a set of trophy antlers, just lying there.
Without a second thought, you reached over and grabbed them, picking them up by one of the antlers and turning back to the walker that was only inches away from your face.
Raising it up, you used all of your strength to drive that thing deep into its soft skull. Its growling stopped instantly, and it became limp as it draped over you.
Groaning, you shoved it off and ducked down to quickly grab your sword that had been kicked away before looking back up at swinging it around your head.
The walker with the quiver was only steps away from attacking you, but with one swift blow, the top of its head detached and fell to the ground, along with the walker itself.
You didn't even have enough time to comprehend the narrow escape you just had before you saw more and more pouring out of every aisle. There must have just been some rooms that they had been trapped in.
Acting quickly, you turned and started to bolt for the door before you skidded to a halt and turned around once again.
Leaning down, you ripped the quiver off of the walker you had just killed and ran back to the door. Your first instinct was to push it open, but when you came up to it and rammed your shoulder against it, it didn't budge.
You did this over and over again, figuring it might be stuck. Until you looked down. 'Pull'.
If you weren't being chased by cannibalistic monsters, you would have taken this time to be extremely mad at yourself for your stupidity.
Instead, you ripped the door open and quickly pulled it shut behind you. Walkers would have a hell of a lot of trouble opening a door by pulling other than pushing. Luckily for you, your hypothesis had been correct.
Even though the door was shut behind you, that didn't stop you from running back to your horse before even thinking about looking behind you.
When you finally did, you saw that there were over two dozen walkers piling up on the glass door and windows. It almost made you smirk to yourself.
You looked over to your horse, shoving the quiver of arrows into the saddle bag before starting to mount it.
Before you could, your eyes caught something red that was resting by your feet. A jerry can. You did say you were going out for gas and fuel.
Reaching down, you expected to pull up and feel nothing it in. But, to your surprise, you heard sloshing and felt the weight as you lifted it up.
Who would just leave something like this here?
Before you could answer yourself, you heard a familiar sound coming from the buildings again, only this one wasn't muffled. As you looked up, you saw a walker in a skirt hobbling towards you with a large bite mark just under her ear. That answered it.
Setting down the tank, you readied your sword and started to make your way towards the walker, who was charging at you as fast as she possibly could.
Not even thinking about it, you swung your sword and knocked the head of the girl clean in two as you watched her fall to the ground in front of you.
Now, as you looked down, you felt the scowling twist your face before turning around and beginning to stalk off back to your horse.
Picking up the gas tank again, you tied it onto the saddle securely before looking around your surroundings. Nothing. Complete silence, except for the pounding noises coming from the store behind you now.
Your chest heaved and ached, but you didn't feel it. There was a sense of emptiness that had washed over you all of a sudden, but you couldn't explain to yourself why.
Not wanting to risk any more surprise attacks, you turned back to your horse and untied it from the pole before hurriedly mounting it and starting off.
You turned it around, only making it start off at a steady trot down the road and clutching the reins tightly in your scraped up hands. You looked ahead of you blankly as you started back to the farm with a gas tank, a quiver of arrows, and a scratched up face to show for it.
* * *
"I told you that no one goes out alone," you heard Rick scold from behind you as you brushed down the horse, not even responding and letting him go on. "On top of that," he added, "you lied to Hershel."
Sighing loudly, you walked over to a bench where you had set down the saddle bag and the gas tank, picking both of them up before going over to Rick.
"Not entirely," you responded quickly and coolly, setting the half-empty gas tank into Rick's hand. He looked down, shaking his head as you walked past him, "You can't just do these things on a whim, [Y/N]. You're one of the people in this camp I'm trusting not to go rogue."
You turned around with your brow furrowed, "You seriously think that I would do something that I wasn't prepared for?"
He raised a hand up, but you cut him off, walking forward and speaking with a sharp tone, "Carol's already lost Sophia, and you think I would do that to her with all that she is going through already?"
Rick didn't answer after that, and you didn't give him a chance to before stalking out.
Something was still pricking and prodding at you from inside, but you didn't know what it was. Maybe it was the fact that after being on this farm for a while, you had forgotten all about the real dangers that this place was completely cut off from.
You sighed to yourself as you walked across the clearing and to the camp that your group had in a cluster of trees. Even though it was already starting to grow darker outside, getting into the shade felt like heaven to you. "[Y/N]!"
You debated just ignoring your friend who was calling for you, but Glenn had already caught up. You turned around, raising an eyebrow at him, though being taken by surprise shortly after. He sighed and gave you a tight hug, making your brow furrow.
After a moment, you patted his back a little, speaking, "O-Okay..."
He backed away from you, giving you a worried stare. You only nodded in response, "I'm okay." After that, his shoulders dropped down as he still stared at you, "What were you thinking?" You rolled your eyes after that, starting to walk off again, "I can handle myself. And I did."
Your eyes focused on another tent after that, and you started to quickly walk towards it, just wanting to get some rest after that.
As you got to it, you stepped in without warning, making the person in the makeshift bed sit up quickly. There was a moment of silence before you sat down across from him, just glad to get off your feet.
"The hell happened to you?" You heard Daryl ask as he stared at your beat-up face with a furrowed brow.
There was a long pause before you blinked quickly and answered, "I just went out on a run for a few things. Got a little caught up is all."
For a moment, you had forgotten why you had come in here before you remembered the saddle bag hanging around your neck.
Opening it up, you reached in as you spoke, "They ain't flowers, but..." You pulled out the quiver in one hand, looking up at Daryl as he was sitting up and handing them over to him, "Think they'll do?"
He had a furrowed brow still as he took the arrows out of your hands. He pulled out one, examining it before he slid it back into the quiver and looked back up at you with his eyebrows raised now.
"You tellin' me you risked your life for arrows?" You shrugged after that, starting to get up, "You risked your life for something that has kept me going. Only fair if I did, too. "
Shouldering the bag, you stepped out from the tent without a look back as you headed off to the RV.
As soon as you got in, you went straight to the back, kicking off your shoes and falling lazily onto the mattress beneath you.
Almost as soon as you hit the pillow, you started to doze off. Just before you did, you looked over to your side at the table next to you.
The rose still sat there in that beer bottle, with the leaves not even starting to lose their pure white color.
For the first time since you got back, you couldn't fight the smile away from your face before falling into a heavy and much-needed sleep.
Chapter 20: Crashing Into Nothing
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The next morning, you were met by a very happy looking Carol. Figured she didn't want to disturb you when you had fallen asleep.
You sat up on the bed, looking out the window at the smoke rising from the center of the camp. You had slept way past dawn by now. With a sigh, you sat up in bed, making your shoulders and arms shriek in protest.
You groaned and looked up at your aunt before standing up and smiling at her. She smiled back even wider and pulled you into a short hug before quickly backing away to make room for you to walk past her, "Breakfast is ready."
You nodded in thanks before stepping past her and walking through the hallway and to the outside.
Most of the camp was already out there as well, eating what you guessed T-Dog and Carol were preparing.
Smelling the cooking food, your mouth started to water instantly after. You really hadn't eaten much at all over these past few days.
You stepped out of the RV, meeting T-Dog shortly after as he handed you a plate with two slices of ham and some scrambled eggs. You looked up at him as he smiled at you, smiling softly back as you spoke quietly, "Thanks."
He nodded before walking back to the fire and tending to what was being cooked over it. Not even bothering to use a fork, you began to eat the ham first. Even if it had been canned, it was the best-tasting thing you felt you had in days.
You began to start eating a bit more quickly than before, going over to one of the lawn chairs that have been set up and sitting down lazily.
The morning was already starting to warm up, so most everyone had come out of the tents and around the fire. Including Daryl, who was sitting across the fire from you.
There was a silence around all of you, but you couldn't quite tell if it was peaceful or not. Still, you could care less with a plate of hot food in front of you.
You finished, setting the plate down to your side and standing up to go and get your sword that was back in the RV. As you walked past Rick and his family, Rick looked up at you. You looked back at him, half expecting to see him with a glare.
Instead, he just looked at you for a while before nodding a little bit. Even if it was a little sign, it showed understanding for what you had done yesterday.
You hadn't been aware of it, but that was something that you wanted to see from him. Just the fact that he knew that you were loyal to this group. That they really meant more to you than you thought that they would.
You cocked a crooked smile back before starting off to the RV with the smile still lingering. But, you were stopped once again.
"Um, g-guys," Glenn said, shifting back and forth on his feet nervously as he got up and stood in front of the group, gaining their attention. You turned around, stopped with your hands crossed over your chest. Really, if he was trying to hide that fact that something was bothering him, he wasn't doing a very good job of it at all.
"So..." He tried speaking again, with his voice notably wavering.
Spit it out.
He shifted again before sighing and speaking quickly and as strongly as possible, "The barn's full of walkers."
Seconds after he said that, you felt your face go white. Your brow furrowed and you looked shocked. As did most of the group.
You didn't move from your spot, just standing there and trying to process this. Well, at least you knew what had been bugging Glenn this whole time. You just didn't know why he hadn't told you all sooner.
Snapping you out of your thoughts, Rick stood up, pointing around all of you. "Shane, Daryl, [Y/N], get whatever you need to. And no guns," he demanded before turning around and looking at the barn, "We're gonna go down there and check it out."
You blinked quickly as you nodded and hopped into the RV to go quickly to the back room and grab your sword.
The information you had just learned hadn't really sunken in all that much, but you really didn't have the time to stop and try to register this.
Instead, you just grabbed your holster with the sheathe and sword before fastening it around your waist and heading back out of the RV once more.
Shane, Daryl, and Rick were already outside of there, waiting for you. And as soon as they saw you, they started off with you right beside them.
As soon as you got to the open field, you all started to jog across to the large, old-looking building. It didn't take you long to get there, which also showed how close this place really was to your camp.
Now, you just wanted to know how many were in there.
All of you slowed to a stop in front of the barn doors, looking up at it.
Hesitantly, Rick stepped forward. And, in instinct to keep your friend safe, you placed a hand on your sword that was hanging in your belt.
You watched as he pulled on one of the padlocks that hung from the door before giving it a firm push. You could only guess he was trying to make sure how secure it was.
It seemed like it was holding up well enough. Still, that didn't numb the fact that there were blood-thirsty undead cannibals in there, and it was close to where your family slept.
After a while of pushing on the door, Rick seemed satisfied with his check and backed away. He turned back to where your camp was, waving his arm to T-Dog, who had the rest of the group standing behind him. Even if it was safe, you didn't know how you felt about Carol coming this close to this building.
The rest of your group started to jog their way across the field as well, getting there pretty quickly.
Lori jogged up to her husband, eyes wide as ever, "Well?" Rick nodded, placing his hands on his hips as he looked at the ground, "It's secured..."
You heard a scoff from Shane as he shook his head a bit and started to walk towards the closed doors. As he did this, you had less of a sudden inclination to be ready to protect him. It didn't shock you.
Still, you stood at the ready, just in case. He put his face up to the doors, peering through the crack between them. There was a sort of tension in the air as everyone went silent, and all of you could finally start hearing the growling.
After a few seconds, Shane jumped a bit and turned, stalking back towards Rick and past him as he spat out at him, "You can not tell me that you are alright with this."
Rick scowled the same way at his friend as he walked past him, speaking sharply and firmly, "No I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land!" Shane whirled around after he said that, facing his friend with a challenging stare as he started to stalk back, "These are our lives, man!"
Once again, you saw the Shane that you had feared to see before. The angry bull that trampled anything in its way just to get what it wanted.
"Lower your voice," Lori demanded as Shane walked past him. By now, you had walked over to Carol, planting yourself in between her and the barn, trying to clear her of any danger. You turned around, sighing and trying to make something clear, "We can't just sweep this under the rug."
T-Dog nodded from behind you, adding into what was clear, "It ain't right. Not remotely."
There was a brief silence as Shane kept pacing around behind you guys before finally stepping up and talking firmly to Rick, who was still looking at the barn.
"Okay, we either gotta go in there, we've gotta make things right, or we just gotta go," he insisted before quickly following up and making sure his tone was a bit less harsh, "Now, we've been talkin' about Fort Benning for a long time now."
At that, Rick whirled around to face him, "We can't leave!" Shane raised his eyebrows, once again challenging Rick in his orders, "Why, Rick? Why?"
But, instead of Rick answering, it was your aunt who stepped forward. "Because my daughter's still out there," she said, without the slightest hint of fear in her voice. It really did surprise you.
She was finally standing up to a bully, and she was doing it all on her own. You guessed that when it came to her family, she lost all sense of fear when they were put in danger. But, Shane's response was one that you expected.
He let out a hollow chuckle, sighing and putting a hand on his head as if he didn't believe what was happening. "I think it's time we just," he paused for a while, staring at you aunt and you finally, "consider the other possibility--"
You glared at him, scoffing as Rick came quickly to your aunt's defense. "We're not leaving Sophia behind," Rick demanded, glaring at Shane as well.
Another person also came quickly to your side. "I'm close to finding this girl," Daryl insisted, gesturing out to the woods behind him, "I just found her damn doll a few days ago!"
You stayed by each other's side, both of you ready to come to either's defense of the man ahead of you. Shane scoffed and rolled his eyes, which made the anger inside of you boil up even higher.
"See, that's just what you did, Daryl. You found a doll," Shane said, stating it as if it meant nothing. You stepped up to him, holding your glare on the taller man, who glared right back, "He's done more than you've even begun to think of, arrogant piece of shit!"
His mouth hung agape as he yelled back in your face, "You're one to talk, [Y/N]! Sitting around camp all day, treating splinters--"
Quickly, someone raced up to your side, shoving the taller man away from you as he yelled, "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT!"
Shane shook his head, coming back at Daryl and looking as if he was about to knock him straight in the face before Rick stuck an arm out to get in the way of you two. He started yelling and you started yelling back, right alongside Daryl.
Eventually, Shane backed away for a moment before speaking again, pacing around you and the group as he spoke loudly to Daryl, "Let me tell you somethin' else. If she was alive out there, and she saw you coming, all methed out with your buck knife and geek ears around your neck SHE WOULD RUN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!"
Right then and there, you, Daryl, and Shane all tried to lock back into conflict with each other. Rick and Glenn were trying to split you two apart from each other.
By now, it wasn't so much that he had given up on finding Sophia. It was the fact that he was trying to brush off all of the hard work and suffering that Daryl had gone through.
He pushed everyone down just to use them as stepping stones to try to climb to the top. You didn't care what you had just called him out for, because you were just saying what he needed to hear because that was all he was. A power hungry, arrogant piece of shit.
Plus, you had Daryl's back. Anyone who messed with him messed with you.
And, at some point, Shane got past Rick's arm and tried to lunge at Daryl. You tried to stop him, screaming in his face about getting back and such before an explosion of pain spread through your head, making your ears ring and your vision go blurry. Shane socked you. Hard.
"SHANE!" You couldn't put a person to that voice as you staggered back with your ears ringing, though your best guess was Lori. Someone yelled, and you could tell that was your aunt as she came quickly to your side, as did Glenn.
You shut your eyes for a moment, focusing heavily on getting the pounding in your head under control.
Granted, the fighting had already gotten a bit nasty with all the yelling. You wouldn't be surprised if it had gotten physical sooner. But that was a full blown right hook out of nowhere to a girl half Shane's size.
Looking back at the fight that had started between you, you realized that Shane and Daryl had just gotten T-Dog added into the mix.
Andrea, Carol, and Glenn were standing near you, all watching with wide eyes.
"I'M GONNA KILL YA!"
You could put a voice to that one as you saw Daryl repeatedly lunge at Shane over and over again, screaming and yelling.
"YOU DON'T TOUCH HER!"
There was another moment before you rushed back into the scuff again, getting back to Shane and Daryl, who were still trying to get locked into conflict. This was going to get out of hand fast.
You looked up, quickly starting to run over and back to Daryl and Shane. "Daryl, stop," you yelled, squeezing in between the men once more and hoping Shane didn't pull the same maneuver as last time.
Andrea and Glenn had come over to help you pry them apart, pushing Daryl, T-Dog, and Shane off of each other.
"I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS!" Shane yelled, always feeling the need to get the last word in every single conflict.
"Back off," Rick demanded, pushing Shane back now. There was a fit of anger burning in Shane's eyes as he glared at Rick, quickly being intercepted by Lori, who planted herself between them and a hand on Shane's chest to push him back.
He got in her face, pointing at her and speaking quietly, "Keep your hands off me."
Another spark of anger pricked you, but you didn't want to do anything. Looking back at Daryl, he was glaring down at you as he pointed over your shoulder, "You're just gonna let him do that to you!?"
You held the eye contact that you both had, keeping a hand on his chest for a while as you repeated yourself, "Enough."
He raised an eyebrow as his chest rose and fell heavily as he shook his head. "Please," you said, letting the words slipping out of your lips from habit that you were sure you had broken.
Turning back around, you saw Rick up in Shane's face, but Shane didn't look back as his companion hissed through gritted teeth.
"We will talk about what the hell you thought you were doing later," he spat before turning around and continuing, "Now, just let me talk to Hershel."
You sighed quietly as you turned back around before bringing a hand up to your lip. When you pulled back, with your fingertip covered in a thick, red liquid. Great.
As soon as Shane had hit you, the anger seemed to drain away from you, and you went to trying not to make a big deal about it. Again, you could thank falling back into stupid habits.
Wiping your arm across your mouth, you saw a red streak smear down the cloth, making you sigh quietly again before turning around back to Shane and Rick, waiting for whatever they were going to do next. And by Rick's voice and Shane's glare, it didn't look pretty.
"Let me figure it out," Rick concluded, but didn't get the chance to turn around before Shane yelled and charged at him again, "MAN, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA FIGURE OUT!?"
Lori was quick to intercept, making Shane stop in his tracts. Rick turned around as well, glaring and pointing back at the barn.
"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk Hershel into it," Rick fired back, bringing his hand down, "This is his land!"
As soon as he concluded, and before Shane could add back in, Dale already had stepped up next to Rick, "Hershel sees those things in there as people. Sick people. His wife. His stepson."
By now, Rick had turned around to face the older man beside him with a stare, "You knew?" Dale nodded quickly, owning up to it, "Yesterday. I talked to Hershel."
You sighed, bringing a hand up to your head and rubbing your temple. Just as you expected, Shane had come back to add into the mix again, "And you waited the night?"
Dale, obviously as at odds with Shane as you were, snapped his glare around to him, "I thought we could survive one more night. We did."
Shane shook his head and scoffed, starting to pace back around again as Dale continued talking to Rick, "I was gonna say something this morning, but Glenn wanted to be the one to do it."
You sighed again as Shane went back to yelling, but you didn't bother with that anymore. Rick was yelling back, trying to get him under control once again.
The attempt was unsuccessful, and both of the mens' volume only increased, until something behind them both shut them up.
There was a surge of loud growling and hissing as the boarded up barn door strained forwards. It took your group by surprise, and some of them jumped back in surprise.
You and Daryl, who were still standing side by side, didn't move an inch as you placed your hand on the sword handle. The most either of you did as shift a bit as everyone fell into some sort of an eerie silence.
Yes, the problem was one that you definitely wanted to deal with, and soon, but you respected what your leader was saying. The one that you actually looked to now as a leader. But, you could already tell that the other man wasn't what he used to be, and neither was this group.
People changed, but not everyone for the better.
* * *
Eventually after that, people started to flake away from the barn, only leaving Shane on his own to stalk around the barn in what ever kind of guard he thought he was doing.
You left quickly after the walkers started to become more active, not wanting to keep Carol that close to a threat like that. Plus, your lip was still bleeding.
Now, you were just treating T-Dog's arm a little bit after getting your lip to stop bleeding. As you gently peeled back T-Dog's bandage, you couldn't help but notice how furious he still looked.
You sighed as you started to carefully applied a new one to your friend's arm, "You should just drop it. It happened, and it's over." You pressed it down to his skin once more before standing up and going to wash your hands.
"He shouldn't just get away with something like that," T-Dog insisted angrily, but you only replied calmly from where you were standing. "And he's not," you insisted, drying off your arms, "Besides, none of us should have started that in the first place. He's not the only one in the wrong here."
Glancing up, you finally got a good look at yourself.
Over your cheek and eye, you saw deep, purple bruises starting to spread. The sight was familiar, making you realize something. It looked strikingly similar to what Ed had done to you. The one thing that was different though had nothing to do with the bruises.
That first time, Shane was the one who had run to your defense from the abusive husband. Now, he had made a complete one-eighty. Also, the most violent looking person at that time to you was now one of the closest people to you in the camp.
You turned back around to T-Dog after you realized you had been zoning out a bit, seeing him just as angry as he retorted, "He shouldn't have hit you..." And with that, he got up and stalked out the door.
Sighing to yourself, you set down the rag you were drying your hands off with and started walking outside as well. Even if it was still morning, the air was hot and musty inside the house.
As you were walking across a room, you were stopped by someone calling out to you from behind, making you turn around and raise an eyebrow. Maggie Greene was walking up to you with a bit of a concerned look on her face.
"You okay?" You were silent for a moment before nodding and explaining a bit.
"I just went on a run yesterday for a few things and got a bit scratched up," you lied quickly as Maggie nodded.
"I'm Maggie," she said, reaching out a hand. You looked down a bit before reaching out and shaking her hand, "[Y/N]."
Both of you pulled our hands back as there was a brief silence between you. "I heard from my daddy that you're a doctor," she said with a furrowed brow as she tilted her head towards the window, "But do you really think that man's healed enough to go out?"
Your brow furrowed as you looked past her and out the window. Sure enough, you saw Daryl making his way towards the stables.
"He asked my daddy for a horse," Maggie continued, "Said that you gave him the okay to go back out." You sighed, letting your shoulders drop down before looking back at Maggie and shrugging a bit, "First I've ever heard of this."
You turned and started to make your way towards the door after that, hurrying now to catch him before he got out, because there was no way that he was fit enough to go back out there like that, alone more than anything.
As soon as the door shut behind you, you started to jog across the field ahead of you.
Daryl was just getting into the actual stable itself from the tackle room with a saddle. He didn't know that you had caught him, and you were far enough away from him for it to stay that way.
You hurried your pace as he turned into the stable, and it didn't take you long to get into there.
You watched as he came up to a saddle stand, getting some build up before swinging the heavy saddle up and setting it down quickly with a loud groan and held a hand to his side in obvious pain. That made the decision even clearer in your mind.
"Uh-uh," you said as you shook your head, stepping into the stables now as well. Daryl looked over his shoulder at you, glaring a bit before ignoring you and going to unlatch a stable door. You walked quickly up to him, shaking your head still, "You can't."
He answered gruffly over his shoulder, still ignoring you, "I'm fine." You rolled your eyes a bit, stopping right next to him, "You need to heal. You're still recovering, and you can't do that by going out."
Just like before, Daryl ignored you and pulled down a bridle.
Why is he always so fucking stubborn?
"Yeah, I don't care," he said, swinging the door open. You spoke before you really knew what you were saying, just wanting to get him to stay back, "Well, I do."
There was a brief pause as Daryl glanced over his shoulder for a moment before continuing and stepping into the stall.
Sighing, you gestured out to the camp as you went on, "Rick's going out later to follow the trail. They're already going out to search, so you don't need to."
Daryl scoffed a bit as he started to slip the bridle over the horses head, speaking harshly to you over his shoulder, "Yeah well, I ain't gonna sit around doin' nothing."
You scoffed again, raising your voice a bit as well, "No. You're gonna go out there and get yourself even more fucked up."
There was no indication from Daryl that he heard you, and you knew that now he was just trying to ignore everything that you were telling him.
Sighing quietly, you blinked hard and forced your voice to soften a bit. You also forced yourself to come to recon with what had been on your mind, though you didn't want to think about.
"We don't know if we're going to find her, Daryl."
That got his attention.
Almost instantly, he stopped with securing the bridle and turned around to you. By now, your shoulders had dropped down, and your expression was much softer.
Shrugging hopelessly to yourself, you shook your head with a weak voice, "I don't."
You had never seen Daryl expression change that fast. You had never seen him go from absolutely nothing to looking at you as if you were just some kind of stranger. It hurt, but he had stopped.
He started walking towards you, still with that look of betrayal almost as he spoke in a challenge after what seemed like hours to you of complete silence, "What?"
You held his glare, not moving an inch as he came closer to you. You shook your head, still looking up at him as you spoke firmly, "Promise or not. I can't lose you too..."
Again, the tense silence returned as you still looked at him, holding your ground. The silence wasn't broken for a long while after that, until Daryl looked down at the floor.
Slowly, he walked past you, still staring at the ground. You didn't look after him as he did.
You sighed quietly and closed your eyes. You finally admitted what you were ashamed of thinking. What you were ashamed of believing.
You looked down at the ground in front of you, snapping your gaze over when you heard the man beside you yell out in frustration.
In a fit of anger, he shoved the saddle off of the stand, sending it flying off and onto the ground.
As soon as he did that, he bent over, clutching onto his side.
Instantly, you were at his side.
"Hey, don't--" Instinctively, you reach down and touched his arm, but that didn't last long. He turned on you, shoving your arm off of him and stumbling away as if you were some dangerous or disgusting creature.
Now, he was glaring at you as he yelled out, "Just leave me be!" Your dropped your arm down to your side watching the man in front of you still grip his side in agony, helpless to provide anything.
After a moment, he straightened up and started walking away from you once again. "Stupid bitch."
Any urge to go and help him was brought to a halt as he said that. You, yourself, came to a sudden stop in the middle of the stable.
Again, images and words came rushing to your mind like a tidal wave of that same phrase being repeated over and over again, but with a different voice to it. A voice that you though you were far enough away from hearing ever again.
You blinked quickly before shaking your head a bit and chasing it away from you and to the back of your mind. You sighed and started walking again, not even sure where you were going, but you needed to think.
Like before, you just wanted to forget about what happened. You wanted to forget about what Shane had done to you, and you did. You dropped it out of habit. But, this seemed to hurt more than that.
Being called that or thought of that by Daryl hurt more than being hit by Shane, only because of the stupid reason that you cared about Daryl. You still weren't sure about why you cared about him so much, or how you even cared about him, but it hurt regardless.
"Hey! [Y/N]!" Even though you thought you knew who the voice belonged to, you turned around to make sure.
Instantly after you saw them, you turned around again and started walking away. "[Y/N], wait," Shane demanded from behind you, which you paid no mind to at all.
"Fuck off, Shane," you said bitterly as you continued walking. He sighed from behind you, still trying to talk to you, "Would you just--"
After that you whirled around, stopping and glaring at him, "What?"
There was a moment of silence between the both of you as you could tell he looked over your face. He sighed and his shoulders dropped before he scratched the back of his neck, "Shit, [Y/N]. I'm..."
There was another bit of a pause as you glared at him still, waiting for him to continue on with whatever he had to say. He looked up at you again, sighing, "I'm sorry. That was--"
You scoffed to yourself, cutting him off and knowing that this was something Rick had told him to do. "What? So now you decide to start listening to Rick?" Shaking your head, you turned around again and continued walking again, "Like I said Shane; fuck off."
* * *
For hours after that, you had been doing anything and everything to keep your mind off of Sophia and Daryl. Mainly, just to stay away from Daryl for a while. You just needed a few quick moments to chill out and just think about things.
Shane had left you alone since then, with you were glad for.
Hardly anyone talked to you, except for anyone who needed anything done.
You were happy with the silence that you had for a while.
You were in the middle of hanging up laundry with Carol, and you were just about done with your basket when some one came up behind you. "[Y/N]?"
You didn't even need to look back before you knew who it was.
Daryl had been out, walking around the fields and such, but he had listened to you about not going out. And now, all of the sudden he just wanted to talk to you.
Throwing the shirt you had back into the basket, you turned around. You had raised your eyebrows, crossing your arms over you're chest, but stayed silent as you waited for him to continue on.
He glanced down at the ground before tilting his head and speaking softly, "Why don't you... come with me? Gotta show you somethin'."
You didn't show any change in your expression as you gestured to the almost empty basket beside you as you spoke, "I have this I gotta--"
You were cut off as someone came to your side and picked up your basket, making you look over at them. You aunt smiled sweetly at you, speaking in an even sweeter tone, "Don't you worry. I got this last bit."
You still looked over at her, sighing quietly to yourself. Thank you for that, You thought, sarcastically.
After that, you turned and looked back at Daryl, who barely met your gaze. You shrugged and replied coolly, "Alright, guess I'm free then." He looked down and nodded before starting off with a quiet beckon, "C'mon."
With a moment of hesitation, you started off after him. Even if you both were walking and talking together, it still wasn't normal. Instead of filling the silence with wise-cracked jokes and impishly pestering each other, there was just complete silence. And instead of walking beside him, you kept your distance behind.
Even if you had been walking for a while now, you had absolutely no idea where you were going.
Both of you had just stepped into some tall grass outside of Hershel's land, and were wading through a rough trail. You were still confused about where he was taking you, but didn't ask any questions.
The silence wasn't even broken until you both were walking alongside a large lake. Daryl looked back over his shoulder quickly, "You see it?"
You squinted a bit, looking ahead of you, though you couldn't pick out anything. You answered back with another question, "See what?"
Daryl looked back once again, slowing his pace a bit until he was right beside you once again.
Pointing ahead of you, you followed his finger as you both rounded a cluster of thorn bushes. Then, you saw it.
Little, pure-white flowers bloomed from a large bush in front of the both of you. Both of you stopped, and you were suddenly over come by a wave of emotions that washed away anything that had happened before.
All you did was look at the flowers in silence as the both of you stood close together, almost shoulder-to-shoulder.
"I'll find her," Daryl said softly, looking over at you. You looked back over at him, not seeing a speck of any of the look he gave you earlier. He didn't look at you any other way than looking at friend. You didn't see one thing that made you second guess your friendship.
There was a while more of staring into each other's eyes before you broke it by looking back at the flowers again.
Your expression hadn't changed since Daryl had first asked you to come with him, but your emotions had been sent tumbling. You wanted to have the strength to stay mad at him, and right now, you were just trying.
"Hey," Daryl said, making you look back at him. He looked down at the ground as he spoke, "I'm sorry about this morning." That really did surprise you.
You had never heard him apologize to anyone, and especially not to you. Not directly, at least. Sighing quietly, you looked down and shrugged, "Hell, I'm sorry too."
Looking at the flowers, you continued, "You didn't give up. You wanted to look for her." Saying that, another question rose up in your mind.
Turning to him, your brow furrowed, "Why?"
Daryl glanced down at the ground before looking back at you. You shrugged and shook your head, "This whole time, I've just wanted to ask you."
Your question was met by a moment of silence as the both of you went back to staring at each other.
"'Cause I think she's still out there," he answered firmly, nodding. You glanced down, nodding as well as you feared that. You feared hearing that, because it reminded you of now being able to believe that.
There was another, longer moment of silence one again until you felt Daryl shrug behind you. You both were standing so close together now that when he did shrug, you felt his shoulder brush up against yours.
"Truth is," he started again, making you turn back to him. He didn't meet your eyes as he went on, "What else I got to do?" You weren't even sure how to answer that.
Instead, you stepped forward quietly and reached out, gently toughing the petals of the white flowers. You smiled to yourself for the first time in a while that day as you gazed at them, nodding. "We'll find her..."
You looked back over your shoulder after that with a smile still on your face. When you did, you were met with a very soft smile from Daryl.
It was barely there, but you could see it. And, it wasn't like the humorous smiles that you would give when you were making jokes with each other. It was... Sweet. You quickly glanced back at the flowers again before stepping back.
Almost as soon as you got back next to Daryl, you felt something close around your hand.
Once again, there you both stood. Hand in hand as you looked at the flowers.
The crooked smile stayed on your face as you chuckled quietly to yourself. You felt the hand that clasped yours tighten a bit, and you squeezed his back for a moment.
For that moment, you felt your chest almost become weightless. A sudden sense of warmth had spread through you, and your cheeks were still tugging your lips back into a smile. You both stayed side-by-side before blinking rapidly and letting the smile fall from your face.
This looks like a fucking chick-flick.
You thought to yourself a moment before dropping Daryl's hand from yours and looking down at your feet as you spoke.
"We should probably get going back," you proposed, looking over at Daryl finally. "Might be able to catch Rick and his group when they get back. See if anything turned up."
He nodded after a second of hesitation, "'Kay." You weren't able to look away from him for a moment before you caught yourself doing it again.
Turning on your heel, you started off quickly as Daryl followed behind you.
Before either of you got to far, you started to slow your pace down again, gazing over your shoulder. Waiting, you smiled a bit as the man behind you caught up once again. Only then, did you both begin to start walking again. Side-by-side.
* * *
The sight when you got back to camp surprised you. Everyone was still back there on the porch, even the people who were supposed to be out looking for Sophia.
You assumed that they had all gotten back by now if you hadn't caught the last part of what they were saying as both you and Daryl stepped up.
"We were supposed to leave a couple hours ago," Andrea explained, looking at Glenn in confusion. Your brow furrowed as you came closer with both of you picking up your paces, "Yeah you were."
Everyone's attention turned to the both of you as you came closer. Daryl stopped, looking around all of them, "What the hell?" You glanced over at him for a moment as you explained, "Rick told us he was going out."
There was a brief silence around everyone as Daryl scanned over them a moment before speaking harshly, "Damn it. Isn't anybody taking this seriously?"
He whirled around after that, gesturing off into the trees, "We got us a damn trail." You sighed to yourself in frustration before turning around and looking back to the tree line as well.
As you looked back, your eyes locked on someone who was making their way to you all. With the bag of guns hanging around his shoulder no less. You furrowed your brow in confusion as Shane started to make his way toward you all, looking like a man on a mission.
"Here we go," you said bitterly under your breath, just hoping to at least get some answers of what the hell was going on at the moment.
As Shane got closer, he looked up at all of you. Daryl looked just as confused as you did, pointing down at the bag of guns, "What's all this?" Shane ignored him, pulling out a shotgun and handing it to him, "You with me?"
As he said that, he looked between you and Daryl over and over again until Daryl reached down and took the shotgun out of his hands.
After that, Shane moved over to you with something else in his hand. Your hand gun.
Looking down, you quickly took it out of his hands and brought it down to your side. You didn't know what was happening, but whatever was, you wanted something to protect Carol with at your side.
"Time to grow up!" Shane yelled, moving through all of them and starting to hand out the weapons. You and Daryl glanced at each other for a moment before going and following the former leader around once again.
Daryl cocked the shotgun as he carried it around, and you flicked the safety off of yours. Shane looked over his shoulder at Andrea, "You already got yours?" She hesitated before answering, shaking her head a bit, "Yeah-- uh. Where's Dale?"
Shane answered much more quickly after that, not even turning around as he handed T-Dog his gun, "He's on his way."
There was a bitter tone to his voice, and a confused one to T-Dog as he spoke. "Thought we couldn't carry," T said, following Shane with his eyes. Again, Shane gave no attention to T-Dog except words, "Yeah. Well, we can and we have to."
Your eyes narrowed as Carol hurried over to stand next to you. You glanced over for a moment, keeping her close as well behind you.
Now, almost everyone had gotten off of the porch to watch this man who was walking around and directly disobeying the orders that he was very clearly given before.
Seeing that he had hold of the spotlight, he began to talk loudly and clearly to everyone as if he was doing a speech that he rehearsed.
"Look," he started, staring directly at Maggie, "it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe." He turned back to all of you again, glaring at you all, "But now we know it ain't."
His gaze landed on Glenn, who was standing there with his mouth hanging agape. Shane took this opportunity to walk over and hold out the weapon he had, challenging him not to do something, "How 'bout you, man? You gonna protect yours?"
You saw the uncomfortable look between Maggie and the man before him as Glenn reached down and took the weapon out of Shane's hands. There was a satisfied smile that spread across Shane's face, and you didn't even want to imagine the look on Maggie's.
"That's it," Shane said, turning to the woman beside Glenn and raising an eyebrow, "Can you shoot?" He was met quickly by a furious question from her, "Can you stop?!"
Shane only scoffed after that and turned his attention back to the gun bag, but Maggie continued on.
"You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight," she insisted, to which Shane still paid no mind to at all.
"We have to stay, Shane." You looked up as Carl started to make his way down the stairs. If there was one person in this entire camp who would get Shane to listen to anything, it was that little kid.
"What is this?" You looked back up again as Lori came storming around the house after hearing all of what was going on. Shane looked back over his shoulder at Carl and Maggie as he replied, "We ain't goin' anywhere. Okay?"
Maggie glared at him, mortified by what she was hearing. By that thought of Shane thinking that he could just say that and stay there as long as he pleased.
"Now, Hershel," he started again, going back into his speech mode, "he's just gonna have to understand."
He was breathing extremely heavily now, obviously frustrated by everything happening around him. And, when he looked over at you, you saw the power burning in his eyes.
"Okay, he's--," Shane shook his head, "Well, he's gonna have to." He looked over at you, making eye contact with your aunt and beginning to storm over to you both.
In instinct, you stuck your arm out, separating him from your aunt.
He gave you a bit of a sideways glare before speaking, "Now, we need to find Sophia." Hearing that, you instantly saw through the façade that he was putting up. The façade that he gave a shit whether Sophia was found or not.
You knew, and you also knew hat he was only trying to get you on board with this idea, seeing how trying to talk to you went so well the last time.
Turning around again, he stalked over and knelt in front of Carl with a smile, "Am I right?" Shane held out another gun to Carl, knowing that if given the opportunity, he would take it without hesitation.
Carl eyed it for a while as Shane egged him on. "Now," he started, looking directly at the small boy, "I want you to take this. You take it, Carl, and you do whatever it takes to keep your mother safe. You know how, so go on, take the gun, and do it."
Your eyes snapped up to Lori, who had rocketed her way down the stairs and in between Shane and her boy. She pushed him forcefully behind her and glared down at Shane as if she was trying to burn holes in his skull.
Both of Carl and Shane looked up at the obviously furious woman before them, waiting for what she had to say.
"Rick said no guns," she spat through gritted teeth, with just as much furry in her voice, "This is not your call. This is not your decision to make!"
She opened her mouth, ready just to rain hell down on the man kneeling before her. But, before he could, she was cut off. Shane could thank T-Dog for saving his sorry ass. "Oh shit."
You turned to T-Dog, interest sparking in that remark from your friend. Everyone turned in that direction instantly as well, and when you looked across the field, you couldn't believe what you were seeing. You almost didn't want to.
It looked like, from where you were standing, that Rick and Hershel, along with Jimmy, had occupied themselves with retrieving more walkers to add to their collection.
It wasn't even the fact that you were seeing those killers being treated like wild animals. It was the fact that you saw one of your closest friends doing it. Someone you thought could protect you and the group from those things.
Even though you were extremely upset with this, you weren't the first one to act on it.
Almost instantly after T-Dog had said that, Shane was up and starting to run. "What is that..?" The first time he asked that, he sounded just as surprised as you were, but it eventually twisted itself into furry. "WHAT IS THAT!?"
You looked over your shoulder at Glenn and Daryl before turning and starting to run after Shane. Lori was right behind you, trying to call the man before her back and fearing what he might do to Rick.
You knew this, because you also felt some fear for Rick. Not that you'd let Shane get away with anything before defending your friend with twice the force of anger driving it.
By now, you, Glenn, T-Dog and Daryl were eventually all racing beside each other. Glenn then pulled ahead. T-Dog started to slow his pace. You and Daryl stayed close together, as always.
The distance between you all and the other side of the field eventually became less as less. Before long, Shane crashed through the fence at the lead of the group, screaming at his friend and the other residents of the house as he did. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"
Already, you knew things were already starting to fall into chaos. Rick looked over, speaking firmly as the walker he had on the other side of the pole reached and clawed for all of the food he now saw around him, "Shane, back off."
Now, your mind wasn't on finding out why Rick was agreeing to do this as much as it was keeping Carol far away from whatever was going on ahead of you.
Quickly, you found her again and rushed over to stand next to your aunt, placing yourself between her and the danger ahead. Hershel's eyes snapped around as he also was occupying himself with the predator he had on the pole, "Why do your people have guns?"
By now, everything was happening so quickly that you had trouble keeping up with it. Shane was stalking around him like a wolf on a hunt as he continued to yell and shout in his furious manner. "Are you kidding me!? You see!?"
He turned and pointed out as he glared at you all, "You see what they're holding onto?!"
Instantly, Hershel turned over his shoulder fired back, "I see who I'm holding onto!" Shane face twisted into one of mock and unbelieving as he shook his head, "No man, you don't!"
Luckily for you, you weren't the only one to notice this.
"Shane," Rick jumped in, "just let us do this and then we can talk!" You already knew the response to that.
Shane didn't remove his eyes from the walkers as he still stalked around, screaming, "What do you want to talk about, Rick?!"
The group of people started to drift away, and you started to hesitantly follow them, but keeping your distance all the same.
"These thing's ain't people," Shane began, "They ain't sick! THEY'RE DEAD! AIN'T GONNA FEEL NOTHIN' FOR THEM, 'CAUSE ALL THEY DO, THEY KILL!!!"
He turned to all of you now, with the same roaring fire burning in his eyes. "THESE THINGS! RIGHT HERE!"
He pointed out at Andrea, still yelling at the top of his lungs, "They're the things that killed Amy!" He moved onto you, pointing, "THEY KILLED JIM!" You blinked heavily, bringing back the sore memory for a moment before instantly focusing on the present.
Yes, it was painful to think about, but you had accepted it. But, Shane was nowhere near done.
"THEY KILLED OTIS! THEY'RE GONNA KILL ALL OF US!!!" Now, you heard soft whimpering from behind you.
The rest of Hershel's family was out there now as well, and Beth was already starting to cry. Rick looked up from staring at the walker to glaring at Shane, "SHANE! SHUT UP!"
Only a scoff came form the man ahead of you as he started to circle the walkers and Rick again, "Hey, Hershel. Man, let me ask you somethin'..."
Finally, you watched as Shane came to a stop, but watched as he reached down to his belt and pulled out his handgun. Hershel watched in horror as well as it clicked in his mind what he was about to do.
"Could a living breathing person," he trailed off as he cocked the gun, "could they walk away from this?" As he raised the gun up, Rick was already yelling in protest, but that didn't stop Shane from firing round after round into the walker's chest.
It jerked and stumbled, but it stayed on it's feet and it kept coming. "STOP IT," Rick demanded, still gripping onto the other pole in his hands tightly.
Just like before, Shane ignored him and continued firing, "That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?! WHY IS IT STILL COMING!?"
Once again, in the blink of an eye, Shane had raised the gun up and fired two more rounds into the creature's chest. "That's its heart! Its lungs! WHY IS IT STILL COMING!?"
Your eyes darted around the people around you, and by now, the teen behind you had already started crying. Everything was happening so fast in front of your eyes, and you were itching to do something about it. But, what could you do?
There were more gunshots. You heard Rick yelling at his friend again, but your eyes were on the walker. "SHANE! ENOUGH!"
Shane scoffed a bit after that, stalking forward now. Your eyes shifted over to him as he came closer and closer to the walker, talking in an almost calm and lowered voice, "Yeah, you're right, man." He shook his head after that with his jaw clenching as he hissed through gritted teeth, "That is enough."
Once again, Shane raised the weapon up and fired one last shot. And, finally, the body caved and fell to the ground, leaving Hershel in an evident shock.
Everyone seemed to rest in that short silence of the gunshot echoing through the air. But, like before, Shane wasn't done.
"Enough," he started again, "risking our lives for a little girl WHO'S GONE!" The words he said made your head snap up, and you met Shane's wide and furious eyes as he began stalking around again.
You heard an audible gasp from you aunt behind you, which made your jaw lock in answer as you began to stare the man down before he moved on once again.
"ENOUGH LIVE NEXT TO BARN FULL OF THINGS THAT ARE TRYING TO KILL US!!! ENOUGH!"
There was a brief pause once more that was quickly filled as Shane stalked forward once again, "Rick. It ain't like it was before." The two men stopped for a moment and glared at each other. The two alpha males butting heads silently in their gaze. You had seen this all before.
"Now," Shane started again, "IF YOU WANNA LIVE, IF YOU WANNA SURVIVE, YOU GOTTA FIGHT FOR IT! I'M TALKIN' ABOUT FIGHTING! RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW!!!"
Then, in a second, Shane had whirled around and was at the barn doors, pulling and tugging at the locks that still hung around it. For a moment, you were sure that he wouldn't get through it and that it was too secure. But, you knew Shane wasn't about to give up on this.
Rick saw what he was doing even before you did, turning to Hershel, who was still crumpled on the ground beside the walker.
"Take the snare pole," he demanded, trying to get the older man's attention off of the dead body in front of him. Still, Hershel paid no mind. Rick tried again, yelling louder, "Hershel! Listen to me man, please! Take it now!"
By now, Rick's voice was breaking, "Hershel!"
Still, no response. You realized that thee wouldn't be one, and that you really had to prepare to fight. Looking back over to the barn, you saw Shane lift up a pickax from the ground and slam it against the lock.
The loud, pounding noise mixed with all of the shouting coming from everyone and made you struggle to regain focus for a moment. But, right now, your priority was Carol, and keeping her safe.
You turned around to her, seeing her eyes wide with fear and shock that only drove your protective instinct even more.
"Listen to me," you started, speaking calmly and softly as you brought a hand up to her shoulder and looked directly in her eyes.
"I want you to go back there and stay as far away from this as possible for you. Whatever you do, stay away."
You finished after that, and she nodded shakily before you turned back around and tightened your grip on the gun in your hands.
When you did finally turn around, you realized now that Shane had already pried off the padlock from the barn door. This was it. This was happening. And it was happening now.
Taking a long breath, you started to step forward, taking your place right alongside Daryl, who had his gun aimed at Rick's walker.
Both of you gave each other a look before you both nodded. He'd cover you. You'd cover him. That was all that was said, and nothing more needed to be.
Both of you knew what was about to come out of that barn, and you both were prepared to fight for each other. Shane threw the large board to the side and began banging on the door and shouting at the same time, "COME ON! WE'RE OUT HERE!"
He backed away quickly after that, both hands on his gun again. Rick was still yelling and shouting, but Shane still paid no mind at all.
You let out one final breath before holding it and fixing your eyes on the door that was slowly being pushed open, and you knew what was behind there. And you were prepared for it.
It wasn't even ten seconds after you opened the door before you saw one of the walkers stumbling out into the sun.
One, after the other, after the other. One shot, after the other, after the other. Andrea had already run up to give Shane some back-up in killing the monsters, but you weren't leaving Rick's or Daryl's side.
You looked over at Rick for a moment, seeing the tears well up in his eyes before something nudged your arm.
"C'mon," Daryl said sternly, charging for the line of the firing squad. You hesitated a moment before going to his side, only giving one last look to Rick before raising your gun up and running up next to Daryl and T-Dog.
Your eyes darted around the dead things crawling towards you, and eventually. you fixed on one. Your finger tightened around the trigger. The shot rang out. The body fell to the ground.
More and more people were running to your side from behind you. Even Glenn at one point. All of you stood in a line, ready to defend each and every one of your group mates from the walkers that were stumbling towards you all.
You slipped into the zone of what you did, only focused on mow much danger your group was in and not even having to concentrate on the walkers to nail them right between the eyes.
This all went on for a while, and bullets were being fired right by your ears, but you were much to focused to care. Bodies piled in front of you, but more and more kept coming.
Eventually, Shane turned around and nailed the walker that was still in Rick's hold before quickly turning back. Your eyes never left the walkers ahead, but you knew.
The adrenaline rushing through your system was unbelievable to you, but the sudden rush kept you from freaking. More and more started to spill out, and you didn't see an end.
For a moment, you pictured yourself in the endless loop of shooting down all of these walkers with no way out. That was until there was a strong hand on your shoulder, and a firm voice behind you.
"STOP!" You looked over your shoulder, meeting Rick's furious and at the same time frightened gaze. Your shoulders relaxed for a moment before you shook your head, "We can't, Rick."
There was another moment when you saw the absolute look of betrayal on your leader's face. On your friend's face. But you were right. This was how it had to be.
Turning back around, you fired off shots again, using the walkers as a distraction from that look on Rick's face. It worked.
Once again, you were back to nailing down walker after walker. Back into that endless loop. You felt no remorse. You felt no guilt. You felt nothing for what you were doing. And in your mind, that was how it should be and stay.
Then, there was one final shot from the man beside you, and the walkers stopped suddenly. The shot rang out and echoed. No one said a word.
Slowly, you lowered your weapon and your guard. It was over.
Still silent, you started to turn around, facing the people behind you. It was nothing like the strong firing squad in the front. Everyone was either on the ground or clinging to someone else. Except for Rick and Carol.
You gave Rick a bit of a sideways glance, though you showed no emotion it what look you actually gave him as you walked past. You all did the right thing. You solved the problem. It might not have been the right way, but it was over and done.
Looking forward and at the ground, you started to walk away from everyone there and back to your aunt.
Even though you were still pretty far away from her, you could already hear her heavy and short breathing as you came closer and closer to her. There was still a silence, except for the girl who didn't stop crying yet.
Looking up finally, you met your aunt's gaze as she hurried towards you and checked over you with care. You stood across from her, not saying anything yet.
When you finally got back to trying to do something, you were cut off by the faint sound of growling coming from behind you once again. Your head snapped around once again once you heard that, and your hand immediately gripped your gun again, but you didn't move from your aunt's side.
Everyone still sat in silence, collectively waiting for what was about to step out of those doors. Shane and Daryl had started to raise their weapons again, but the walker was still in the shadows. It was taking it's time to get out there and show itself.
Narrowing your eyes in the sun, you just saw the faint movement as something started to step out of the barn.
For a moment, you felt your heart completely stop in your chest to the point where the surprise was painful. You didn't believe what you were seeing. You really didn't to the point where you thought it was just the sun playing a mirage in front of your eyes.
The short, blonde hair. The little, rolled up pants. The same exact t-shirt.
It was Sophia.
You blinked and blinked, waiting for the image to melt away, but for a moment, everything stopped around you. Nothing else mattered. She was there standing in front of all of you, and all you could do was stand and stare with your jaw hanging open.
There she was; your little cousin, whom you had been searching for. She was right there, and you could reach out to her. Hug her. Kiss her. Welcome her back. Tell her how much you missed her and loved her, because it was only then you realized that you had never said that enough.
You never could say that enough. You wanted all of that more than anything. More than life itself.
That was when the pain started to settle in.
That was when the thing you thought was your little cousin looked up from shielding itself from the sun.
That was when you wanted to see those sparkling green eyes light up at the sight of her mother and cousin and her group and family all around her. Ready to take her home and protect her.
Then she looked up and you looked back and you saw nothing. Then you saw nothing in the pale, glazed, dead eyes that looked back at you.
You felt like your chest was absolutely being tore apart by something much more painful than a walker.
That wasn't your little girl anymore. She wasn't yours anymore. She wasn't there anymore. Just the dead, mindless, wandering freak. But you couldn't see that.
You saw the girl that needed to be loved. Protected. That needed her mother. That needed you. She still did.
And, for that moment, you were prepared to let her take you.
Everything failed in your body, and your hands instantly loosened around the gun as it fell before your feet. Then, life spouted back into you as you heard your aunt crying.
Your feet started to work rapidly, and you had nothing else in mind except from getting to your cousin.
"Sophia!" You shrieked before starting to run along with your aunt as the tears in your eyes blurred and fogged your vision. The only thing that was going through your mind was 'don't shoot her'. 'Don't hurt her'. 'Don't hurt my little girl'. 'Don't take her from me again'.
From the side of your vision, you watched as T-Dog reached out and wrapped his arms around Carol, who was sobbing just as much as you were.
Your eyes were still focused on hers, and they were focused back. You were so close to holding her. So close to touching her again.
Then, you crashed.
You were so focused on your cousin that you were sure you were crashing into nothing. Something was holding you back.
It wrapped its arms around you, holding yours back no matter how much you thrashed and struggled.
"SOPHIA!" You shrieked out now, completely choked back by tears that racked your body until it was painful. But it nowhere near compared to what you were seeing.
The tears were streaming down your face, and you were still fighting. Eventually, you were brought down to your knees by whatever was holding you back.
You tried to scream 'no', but it only came out as a tortured and agonized sob.
Shaking your head, you spoke quietly and strained, "No..." Still, you watched her stumble and waver as she came towards you all.
And now, with you being held down, you were powerless to stop the inevitable. You were going to lose Sophia again. Forever.
She came closer and closer, growling louder and louder.
Eventually, you looked over at Rick, who was slowly starting to step forward.
Shaking your head a bit, you spoke a bit more clearly. "No... N-No... P-Please!" Your body shook violently, thinking maybe he was punishing you for not listening to him before when he told you to stop shooting.
You wanted to shriek that you were sorry, but you didn't get a chance before you were turned away by whatever was holding you. You looked over, shaking still as Daryl met your gaze comfortingly.
He held you to him tightly as he shushed you. "[Y/N]," he started, softly. Speaking softer than you ever heard him. "You look at me now. Look. At. Me."
Still, you shuddered and shook violently in his arms, wanting to look back, but not wanting to.
Daryl looked away from you for a moment but made sure to still hold you tightly. He knew what you might do if he let you go for even a moment. Instead of looking back, you completely broke.
Silencing your sobs, you clutched to Daryl's shirt and buried yourself in his chest. You slowly felt something reach up and wrap around your shoulders, sheltering you. But it couldn't shelter you from what you were about to hear.
You shut your eyes extremely tightly, still seeing Rick standing in front of Sophia.
But, it wasn't her. You could still hear her voice though. She was scared. She was so scared of what was about to happen. What she knew.
It felt like eternities as you waited to hear what you were absolutely dreading. With every second, a part of you was torn away. Until, finally, you heard it. The gunshot.
Then... That sickening thud that you feared the most. Then, came the absolute silence around you. The silence was the most painful thing. Because now, you heard your aunt crying and sobbing in T-Dog's arms as he held her back.
You remained completely silent. You gripped onto Daryl tightly, and he loosened his grip a bit once it was over. He was quick to tighten the arm around you once again when you still clung to him.
You didn't care if you were clinging to someone like a lost child. You didn't care that there were tears streaming down your face. You didn't care anymore.
Right then, in those few seconds, your world caved in. Leaving you with a black abyss of nothing but sorrow and grief and a small horse necklace that never would have an owner.
Notes:
A/N: Hey... How y'all doin'..? All jokes aside, I'm so sorry for my disappearance for at least a month. I was involved with a school musical that took up a lot of my time. Sadly, because of this virus going around, it got cancelled. But, I want to look on the bright side of this! With the quarantine, I will have a lot more time at home to work on editing this story! And trust me, it is no where near over!
Chapter 21: Misty Eyes
Chapter Text
Stifled cries and sobs racked your sore and worn body. No matter how tightly that man had you in his arms, you shook violently, struggling to contain your emotions and actions.
That single shot repeated itself over and over in your head, pounding against your skull painfully.
Everything seemed to be boiling up inside of you, leaving a horrible burning sensation throughout your entire chest. The sound of Carol's heartbroken sobbing from no more than five feet away from you didn't help.
Slowly, you pushed yourself away from Daryl's chest and looked ahead of you at your aunt, who was starting to be helped up by T-Dog.
"Don't look," he said quietly, trying to turn her away from the sight ahead of her. Still, she started at whatever horror was behind you.
You still quivered and shook, trying hard to gain some control over it, but Carol was still in a much worse state then you were.
Once she was on her feet, she jerked and ripped away from T-Dog, shoving him back before turning and stalking off with a hand over her mouth. You just watched her walk off more a while, hardly able to get your limbs to move the way you wanted them to, let alone to move at all.
Still, you knew she needed you. She needed you strong. But, you needed time to become that.
As you pushed yourself away from the man that had his arms around you, you forced your cries and sobs to become quieter.
Daryl let you go and straightened up soon after that, but you stayed kneeling on the ground for a while. You didn't think that you would be able to stand up without getting sick or falling right back to the ground, though your entire body felt hollow with grief.
With a shaky breath, you began to stand up again. Glenn looked to you, coming to your side to offer help to you, but you ignored him and got your feet yourself.
Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion and not registering, and before you could stop yourself, you looked over your shoulder. You immediately wished you hadn't.
There, laying in a pool of her own blood, was what used to be your little cousin. Your breath caught in your throat, and you stifled a whimper that threatened to leave your body.
Putting a hand over your mouth, you quickly turned away again and started to slowly walk away. You didn't get very far before you shut your eyes tightly and knelt to the ground with tears streaming down your face.
Even though your aunt had left, and the sobbing from her had faded away, the young blonde girl was still crying out loud.
You watched through narrowed eyes as she broke away from Jimmy, who was holding her and started to run to the aftermath of the massacre. You let out a long sigh, letting your shoulders drop down as you still listened to the quiet sobbing that filled the eerie silence.
Slowly, you forced yourself to stand up once again and placed your hands on your hips as you stared up at the sky with your misty eyes.
You stumbled around in place for a while, sighing quietly and trying to rip yourself away from the shock and numbness that you were facing at the moment. But, the more you really thought about it, the more shame, guilt, and anger rising in you.
This wasn't fair. Not to Carol or Sophia. She was just a child. She didn't do anything wrong. And yet, she paid for some wrongdoing that she never committed.
You were just about to lose yourself in the grief and numb feeling again before you heard a sickening growling and the shrieks of fear that had become so very familiar to you.
Turning on your heel, your protection and survival instincts clicked, and then you saw Beth being attacked by the walker on the ground.
A surge of anger flowed through you, and you sprung into action without a second thought.
Most of the group had run around her, trying to get the walker to break away it's death grip on the girl's hair.
Taking a different approach, you glanced around widely for something else to use as defense. Then, you saw a sickle only a few feet away from you, resting up against the wall near a bale of hay.
Once again, you sprung into action with a clear thought of what you were about to do in your head, along with a boiling anger. The rest of your group screamed and yelled as they tried to fight the monster away from Beth as she cried out in fear, which made you come to their side even quicker.
With the sickle in hand, you ran back over, rage clouding your eyes over with a steam of red as you yelled, "MOVE!" Glenn and Shane looked over their shoulders, and when they both saw the weapon in your hands, they were quick to disperse and back away.
Without another second of hesitation, you brought the sickle back and swung it around quickly with all of your weight backing it up.
Then, with little effort, the sharp blade cut through the creature's skull, causing it to cease its groping and pulling. You froze in place for a moment, breathing heavily and waiting for Shane and Rick- who had a hold on Beth- to pull her back.
Her soft crying still continued as she scrambled away, but other than that, it was back to complete silence. And- except for Hershel and his family- all eyes were on you.
You glanced around at all of you, meeting their gaze before finally pulling the sickle out of the creature's head and backing away. Your eyes locked on the walker ahead of you that was sprawled out on the ground, and it sent another wave of anger and rage through you.
One of those things had taken your cousin away from you. Something that didn't care and felt no remorse for anything it did. And that bastard had a whole barn full of them.
Backing away still, you dropped the sickle to the ground, eyes wide and staring off into space. Rick had taken notice of this, but you barely took notice of him.
"Hey," he said in a whisper before starting to step forward, reaching out to you. His voice was soft and gentle, as was his touch, but as soon as you felt his hand on your arm, you blinked and flinched away as if it was painful.
Your wide, glazed eyes snapped over to him as you shuffled back, seeing the concerned look on Glenn and Andrea's face over his shoulder. Daryl had still kept his distance, but his eyes never left you.
Without another word, you turned and looked at the ground before slowly starting to walk away to find Carol.
She needed you, and you needed to be alone. Or, at least not with this many people around.
Thoughts raced through your mind, and your stomach turned and ached from what had just happened, but you fought against the feeling of wanting to fall to the ground and give in to the shame and sadness that had enveloped your body.
* * *
For the next half hour, you had been just outside the RV and had been taking your anger out on a tree right next to it.
Sword in hand, you brought it back and swung it around, hitting the tree firmly. It sent a sudden shock up your arms, making your hands sting, but you didn't care. It made you feel something other than anger and distracted you from what had just happened.
You brought your sword back down to your side again, stalking around the tree silently.
Bringing a hand up, you wiped your eyes with your sleeve, muffling a whimper that threatened to escape your body before turning again and charging towards the tree. You raised your sword up but stopped just as you were about to strike the tree again.
Suddenly, your eyes filled with tears again, and you felt all of the strength drain out of your body all at once.
With a loud yell of anger, you turn and threw your weapon away from you, stumbling back. You leaned against the tree and closed your eyes, covering your eyes with your hand.
Quietly, and in your privacy, you started to cry again. You at least thought it was in your own privacy.
Shortly after that, you heard footsteps coming from behind you, causing you to quickly wipe your eyes and clear your throat before turning around. Your vision was still the least bit cloudy, and you knew that tears still rimmed your eyes, but you could make out who was coming over to see you.
Slowly, Daryl walked towards you with your sword in his hand. Your eyes darted away from him, not wanting him to see you this weak after the complete breakdown you had just earlier.
He didn't say a word as he got closer and closer to you, holding your blade out for you to take.
With a quick glance down at it, you sighed quietly and took it, letting your hand drop back down to your side. You expected him to turn and leave after that, but he just stayed, warily glancing from the ground to you.
Still, you couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze. Getting the hint that he wasn't about to leave, you turned around, ready to continue the act of taking out the pain you had on the tree, but you couldn't seem to get your arms to work properly.
Instead, silently, you walked even closer to the tree and slowly lowered yourself down to the ground. You sat down, leaning against the tree after that and looking up at the shady canopy covering your head.
Too many emotions filled your body for you to just pick one and deal with it. You just needed time to think. Think about anything else besides what had just happened.
You didn't care if Daryl was standing right next to you now. You didn't care what he thought of you and the choices you were making of taking out your anger this way. This was what you needed right now.
As you looked up, you closed your eyes with a quiet sigh before leaning forward again and resting your head on your knees, which you had pulled close to you. You didn't cry. You didn't make a sound.
Footsteps started to approach after a while, but you didn't look up, not giving any indication of the person which had come to your side.
You heard Daryl drop his crossbow down to the ground, shuffling as he lowered himself down to the ground as well. He sighed quietly as he leaned against the tree as well, but that was the only kind of sound that came from him as he sat with you.
Other than that, neither of you said anything.
At that point, you didn't even know if you wanted to be alone. Mostly, you never wanted to rely on anyone for anything. You didn't believe that you would ever be given that luxury again, or that you deserved it.
Over all, you didn't want to appear weak. But, now, with all of the grief that had stricken you in that short span of hours, your original instinct of pushing help away was snuffed out.
Sighing quietly, you looked up and shook your head, shrugging with a weak breath, "I..."
Immediately, you saw Daryl's vision turn to you, but you couldn't meet his. Still shaking your head, you looked down again, trying to force your voice to become stronger.
"I thought we were gonna find," you said, quickly following up with a stronger voice, "No... I knew we were going to find her, but..." You drew in a long inhale and looked up again, "But... I suppose I knew it would be like that. That it was too late."
After that, you stopped talking and sighed deeply once more before leaning back and closing your eyes.
Daryl was still silent beside you for a moment before starting to stand up. No matter how concentrated on not thinking about anything, you had to bite back asking him not to go. Not to leave you. You had already lost Sophia, and you couldn't bare to lose him too, even for a little while.
Instead, you forced yourself to stay silent and waited to hear footsteps walking away. Sooner or later, everyone was going to leave you anyways. But, you didn't hear a single thing as you slowly opened your eyes to only slits.
He just stood over you for a while, looking down at the ground beside you. "Why don't you," he started, trailing off for a moment before shifting his weight and looking back down at you. "Why don't you come on..? They're ready for the service."
At that, you closed your eyes and scoffed a bit, mixing it with another weak chuckle. You looked over to him again, speaking with a soft smile on your face. It was the only thing you could do. The sadness that filled you so unbelievable that all you could do was smile.
"I'm not mourning that thing," You said blankly. You still shook your head after that, gazing off in front of you.
"Son of a bitch took Sophia," you stated, feeling your jaw clench as you continued harshly now. "It can rot in hell."
Chuckling softly once again, you began to sit up, "Pray every damned day it's down there that I do some miracle good enough to send me to heaven, 'cause it won't want to spend an eternity with me once I'm down there."
Once you realized you were rambling on a bit, you turned to look at him again, shrugging, "That's not Sophia."
After your explanation, Daryl was silent once again. The look he had before was back again. The one of looking at a complete stranger. But, you could care less this time.
You didn't care what anyone wanted to think of you. Shane could think you're weak. Rick could think of you as a traitor. Glenn could think you were dangerous. Daryl could think of you as a stranger. You weren't even sure what you thought of yourself.
* * *
The rest of the group had they're service, but you and Carol both stayed in the RV. Neither of you wanted to go out there and see what your little girl had become again.
You wanted to completely forget about it all. And, right now, being alone was the best way you found to cope. Unfortunately, there didn't seem to be any alcohol around at the moment, so this would have to do.
Really, maybe that was for the best.
If you did have a drink, you didn't see yourself coming to a stop before long, maybe not until you became your own version of a walker.
So, silence would have to settle it.
Carol had been sitting and staring out the window for God knows how long, and you couldn't see yourself doing anything other than just staying shut in the RV with your mourning and unresponsive aunt.
That was until someone came pounding on the door and calling your name out.
With a few seconds of hesitation, you stepped over and slowly opened the door, looking down at the frightened Glenn that was standing before you. Your expression didn't change as you saw his, and you only waited until he explained what he needed to say to you.
"You've gotta come to the house," he insisted. His tone was still frightful, but this could just be some kind of stunt to get you out of there.
Lori and Rick had both come by earlier, trying to get you to talk and share their condolences with you, but you could barely remember them.
Instead, you backed away and started to shut the door again, not caring still.
Just as you were starting to close it, Glenn raised a hand up and stopped it, causing you to give him a sideways glare. Still, he looked frightened and pleading with you.
"Please," he started, "It's Beth. She passed out in the kitchen and we can't get a response from her and Hershel's gone."
As soon as he finished, you turned around fully, opening your mouth to spit out that it wasn't your problem, but before you could, you felt your conscious stop you in the middle of your breath.
Just before, you had been thinking about how everything seemed unfair to you and Carol.
Thinking back to that, you realized how cheated and horrid you felt. Like you had absolutely no control. You cared about Glenn. Glenn loved Maggie. Maggie loved Beth. You love Carol, and you didn't want her to feel any sort of unfairness because she was your family. Glenn was your family too.
You shut your mouth, still staring at him for a while before looking back over your shoulder at Carol for a moment before turning and stepping out of the RV.
You could heard the sigh of relief that came from Glenn as he turned and started to lead you over to the house as he explained rapidly.
"She won't respond to any of us and we don't know what we're supposed to do," he said, looking over at you, "And since Hershel's gone, we don't have anyone else with at least some sort of idea of what we could do."
You sighed, walking a bit faster and picking up your pace, coming to a jog with Glenn soon to follow. You were just about too tired to hear out this man's rambling and wanted to come to this girl, fix her, and then go back to putting yourself in isolation.
The explaining was unneeded. You were going to help her, reason or not.
As soon as you got to the porch, you hopped up the stairs and quickly opened the screen door, charging inside. Lori was quick to meet you, rushing up to you.
"Oh, thank God," she whispered out. You asked her quickly, "Where is she?" Lori nodded and turned around, starting to lead you up the stairs.
You hurried up after her, taking it two steps at a time until the both of you got to the top. Lori hurried over to a room and quickly opened the door, to where Andrea, Jimmy, Rick, Maggie, Glenn, Patricia, and Shane were gathered around a bed where Beth was laid down.
All eyes turned to you as you came in, and you were quick to come to the young girl's bedside. You leaned over Beth, turning her face gently towards you, examining it quickly, and coming up with a conclusion even quicker.
"She's dehydrated and in shock," you stated, looking up at Maggie, "I need you to get me an IV. She isn't in any state to be drinking on her own."
She nodded quickly, seeming a little reluctant to leave her sister's side, but she was quick to leave to room to retrieve it.
Looking back to Beth, your brow furrowed as your hand touched her cheek.
"Is she alright?" You didn't look up as Lori asked that, seeing as she caught your confused expression.
"She's running a fever," you stated, looking up at them all. Sighing, you shrugged a bit as you spoke, "I know how to set up the IV and I'll stay with her, but this isn't my field. If she's sick..."
You trailed off and shrugged with a sigh, "There isn't much I know, and I don't think we had the resources to experiment with the stuff we have."
Snapping into your doctor side, you looked around for anything before gazing at Andrea. "Could you find me some pillows or some blankets to roll up or something? We need to elevate her legs. She's still breathing, and we need to keep the blood flow to her brain going strong of she stays like this."
She nodded a bit before turning and going out of the room quickly. That left the rest of you all in an eerie silence before Maggie came back in the room with an IV.
Out of nowhere, Shane scoffed from the other side of the room, causing everyone but you to turn and look up. You just gave him a quick glance as he held a empty flask in his hand as he looked over to Maggie.
"Looks like he found an old friend," he commented, tossing the flask over to Rick, who looked it over before glancing up at Maggie. Her brow furrowed as she walked closer, eyes locked on it, "That belonged to my grandfather. Gave it to Dad before he died."
Rick handed it to her as she reached out, also adding in a comment, "I didn't take Hershel for a drinker."
After that, you heard her walk back to your side of the room as you started to set up the IV in the younger girls arm.
"No," she started, going back over to Glenn, "Gave it up on the day I was born. Didn't even allow liquor in the house." Finally, you got the IV readied and working before straightening up and turning to Maggie, "What's the bar in town?"
She looked over to you know, almost looking surprised that you had spoken to her for a moment before answering, "Hatlin's."
After she answered, you turned back to Rick and spoke, "Flask's empty." You looked back over your shoulder and nodded, "Don't think that's near enough to level out what just happened."
As soon as you said that, you froze and your eyes went wide for a moment as the horrible images from before played out in your head for a moment. They all came on so soon that you couldn't pull them back for a while before blinking hard and looking up once again.
"That's just my best guess," you concluded, looking back down at Beth as Andrea came back in the room with some pillows and blankets.
"No, it's a good idea," Rick said, nodding and coming over to your side of the bed. You didn't turn to him, coming to terms with the fact that he probably wasn't extremely happy with you for your recent behavior.
Still, something gripped your forearm lightly, making you look over. "Thank you," he said softly. You really didn't have any idea why he was thanking you. It really was a simple, logical prediction.
Looking over to him, you shrugged after a moment before starting to stuff the blankets under Beth's feet to elevate them above her head.
"Yeah," you heard Glenn say as Rick backed away from you, "I've seen the place. I'll take you." Rick walked past you, expressing some thanks before telling your friend that he would get the truck.
But, before Glenn could follow him, Maggie stepped in the way. "N-No," she insisted, causing Rick and Glenn to stop in their tracks. Rick left a little while after that, but you didn't look up to know that Lori had stormed out of the room after her husband as the small argument between your friend and his girlfriend continued.
Just as Lori left the room, Shane followed behind her. You could already hear the bickering coming from the other room between all of them, which made you roll your eyes a bit.
Once again, you were thankful that you were single. You were just checking Beth's pulse, which had been racing a bit more than it probably should have. You sighed, figuring that you would just have to go and get some antibiotics if you could find them, but that also reminded you of something you wanted to ask Rick.
Sighing a bit, you stepped out into the hallway, already seeing them not too far away from you. You were also close enough to hear the very last part of their conversation.
"--need Hershel for the baby," Rick concluded, which shocked you. There was a moment of silence before you furrowed your brow and spoke up, "'Baby'?"
As you said that, you saw Rick and Lori snap their heads over to you with wide, surprised eyes. You gaze shifted from one to the other, waiting to hear some kind of explanation. Rick was the first to look at the ground, and then Lori shortly after.
"We were gonna tell you," Rick said quietly, looking up at you. You would have hoped he would have told you. Next to Hershel, you were all they had for a doctor. You closed your mouth after you realized it still hung open before blinking heavily and nodding, "Right, uh..."
You forced yourself back on subject, looking up at Rick and trying to pretend like nothing happened, "If-- When you get to the bar, could you bring back something?" Rick raised an eyebrow at you, hesitant to answer, so you continued on, shaking your head again and crossing your arms over your chest.
"Its not for personal use," you clarified off the bat, "I'm out of rubbing alcohol. All I need is something with a pretty high alcohol level. Vodka, preferably."
Once again, Rick looked down and nodding, and turned to walk away. He left Lori standing there, both of you in silence. You glanced over at Lori, still trying to wrap your head around the information you had just received.
"Uh," you started, dropping one of your hands down and scratching the back of your neck with the other, "Congratulations."
There was another split second before she nodding, gazing off behind you and leaving you in a silence still. Another sickening feeling started to sit in your stomach the moment after you started thinking about that, and you had to leave into the bedroom quickly.
Glenn and Maggie started leaving quickly after that, with neither one of them looking very happy. You were a bit happier that they were leaving.
As soon as they were all down the hall, you quickly shut the door behind them and balanced your weight against it.
All of that-- everything you had seen and learn had now found its chance to finally launch its terminal attack on you.
Turning around, you started to stumble away from, the door and towards the window across the room. You tried to focus on the image outside, but the pictures and memories came flooding back into your system, clogging the gears spinning in your head and causing them to temporarily stop in their tracks.
Your chest heaved and you began to feel light on your feet as you swayed back and forth.
"Look! Look at him..."
"He's beautiful."
"He's ours."
Then the screaming and the crashing and the shattering glass. You let a short gasp out as you stumbled back and knocked into the bed, feeling your head go light.
No. Wake up.
Soon after that, you forced yourself to blink and chase away the little black blots that starred to creep into your vision.
You don't get to do that now.
Breathing heavily, you still felt your stomach turning and aching. You were almost too late to go and run to the bathroom when you felt the hot bile rising up in your throat.
Throwing the door open, you fell to your knees and bent over the toilet, just in time to catch the watery bits of breakfast that you had eaten this morning.
More and more kept coming up, and you were afraid that your retching would call someone into the room. That really was the last thing that you wanted at the moment.
You struggled to keep your own hair back, and you really didn't have a chance to get a better grip on it at the moment. You just wanted to get this puke fest over with an back to what you had to do.
Finally, your stomach started to settle. Or you just ran out of things to spew. Still, you reached up and flushed before pushing yourself away from the toilet and onto the ground.
Breathing heavily still, you leaned your head back and brought your knees to your chest quietly. Your wide eyes darted around everywhere before looking back out of the room at the girl laid out on the bed. She still lay there motionless.
You still sat on the ground. Raising a hand up, you wiped your brow off before leaning back on the wall again. You just wanted to melt into the floor and escape from all weight and responsibility that lay on your shoulders.
Still, you knew that you couldn't do that. Not in this world. Not anymore. Placing your head in your hands, you shut your eyes tightly and forced yourself to get up after a while. And just in time as well.
"[Y/N]?" Your gaze turned up as you heard Shane's voice and the door opening. You stepped out of the bathroom, brushing your hands on your jeans and making your face show absolutely no emotion as you did.
He was shuffling into the room with some little figure snugly tucked up his arm. Carol, who looked dazed and confused trailed in as well. You instantly were at his side, taking your aunt into your arms, "What happened?"
She seemed to try to walk past you, but you got in front of her, placing your hands on her shoulder and trying to get her to look at you.
"Found her wandering out of the woods," Shane answered from behind her as you guided her to a large chair in the corner of the room, sitting her down into it.
Your eyes widened a bit as you backed away from her, turning around to the taller man. He saw your look of worry, and was quick to continue, "She doesn't have any bites. Just a few thorns and splinters is all."
Evidently, your shoulders dropped and you let out a quiet breath that you didn't know you were holding.
You nodded after that, placing your hands on your hips and looking down as you tried to calm your racing heart. "[Y/N]?"
As you heard that again, you cleared your throat and looked up, shifting your weight on your feet, wiping your eyes quickly, "What? Wh-What do you need?"
There was a moment of silence after that as you waited for the man ahead of you to continue. He looked down, scratching the back of his head for a moment before speaking again, "Uh, I'm... I'm sorry 'bout your cousin... And for what I did."
After that, you looked up and nodded as you shrugged, "We're still on decent notes. And... You did something that needed to be done."
There was another brief silence between the both of you before Shane looked down again and stepped out of the room. You sighed quietly to yourself before going over and checking Beth. And judging from before, she had gotten worse.
You felt her head, which was still considerably warm, and her heartbeat was unnaturally fast.
Looking around, you sighed and turned back to Carol for a minute. She had fallen asleep in the chair, so you'd have to be quick to go and get the antibiotics. You didn't want a repeat of what had just happened.
* * *
A few more hours had passed, and people were coming in and out to visit Beth, who was still giving no response.
Fortunately, Carol was okay and on her feet again. You patched her up and got her some water, and she seemed good as new. Physically good as new, that is.
Now, your main focus was on Beth and the fever that she had, which was still climbing, despite the antibiotics you had crushed and put in her IV. Lori had left to go do something, which she didn't really explain. But, like always, she had gotten someone else to watch her kid.
Slowly, you felt your anger at everything seeping into you like little infections that would eventually take you over. Everything seemed to piss you off at the moment, but you couldn't pay too much attention to that. You had work to do.
Instead, you took Beth's pulse. Her heart was still racing. You sighed and backed away from the bed for a moment, setting the medical device down and scratched the back of your neck. You turned to Jimmy, who was looking up at you with fear and question in his eyes.
There was a brief moment before you shook your head and shrugged, "I'm doing all I know how to do, but..." He sighed, resting his chin in his hands and turning his gaze back to his girlfriend that was still laid out on the bed as she gazed blankly up at the ceiling.
You sighed once again and crossed your arms as you looked down at her, not knowing what you could do other than feed more antibiotics to her, which didn't seem to be working too terribly well. You needed Hershel.
Just as you were about to walk back to the medicine cabinet, you heard your name being called out. "[Y/N]?" You turned around after that, meeting Lori, who was running up to you. You stopped and raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to go on.
She came up to you, pausing a moment as she looked you straight on. "I need you to do something for me," she said, to which you stayed silent.
Of course, always needing someone to do something for you.
"What do you need exactly?" As you said that, you tried not to sound like a huge ass about it. You just wanted to know so maybe you could get it over with.
"I need you to talk to Daryl," she explained. You furrowed your brow after that, a bit confused on what she really meant. You knew that he had gone off by himself, going as far as to set up his own camp as well. She sighed, placing her hands on her hips and lowering her voice, "You can't tell me what he's doin' is right."
Shrugging, you crossed your arms over your chest, answering blankly, "Well, yeah, he's an ass. But what do you need me to talk to him for?" She sighed again, shaking her head, "I need him to go out and get Shane and Rick back, but he won't listen to me. He listens to you."
As she said that, you scoffed and rolled your eyes, starting to walk back, "Yeah, I doubt your hypothesis is entirely accurate." You were just about to enter the room before she called out again. "Please? Just... Try to talk to him..."
After she said that, you paused, biting your lip in thought. Then, Lori said something that completely shut down everything she had just asked you. Backtracked all of the pleading and begging she had just done.
"He's being selfish."
Immediately, something switched inside of you as you turned around, staring straight at Lori.
Slowly, you turned fully around and started to walk down the hallway even slower, holding eye contact with her the whole way. And, as soon as you turned around, you saw the fear in her eyes that was burning when she caught your stare.
What she had just said crossed a line. Yes, you thought Daryl could be and was an asshole. But, despite all of that, he went out there and looked for your cousin almost every single day. And this bitch thought that he was being selfish?
As soon as you came only inches from her did you stop walking, not speaking for a while as you kept the glare. "What?"
Lori shifted her weight a bit after that, looking down and speaking softly, "I think that he--"
Immediately, you cut her off. "Look here, princess," you started, glaring straight on. "He's an asshole, and his choices might not benefit shit for us, but you have no right in hell to call him selfish. I'm not over the fucking moon for him at the moment, but he has earned his place and right to make that decision if he wants to."
You leaned in closer, spitting through gritted teeth, "But you don't get to call him selfish. You screw with him, you screw with me, and I'm not in top-fucking-condition at the moment. So I suggest shutting your mouth or go and complaining to someone else. But you're getting no help from me with that." That shut her up instantly.
After a few beats, you turned around and walked back into the room, which had been emptied now.
After you realized this, you slammed the door behind you and leaned up against it, just wanting to be alone again. More of a need now.
You sighed, walking over and looking out the window as you tried to deal with all of the pent up frustration and emotion that you were now dealing with.
If you could, you would be the first to go out and find Rick and Glenn. Those were your friends, and you wanted to go out and help them more than anything. But you were housebound because of this girl who couldn't handle her shit.
You were lucky that you had left your sword in the RV, because you didn't know what you would do if you had it on hand. Probably make a mad dash out of the house and for the stables or cars.
Maybe make a dash for Daryl, who had set up a small camp far away from anyone else. Tell him he needs to stop being a drama queen and get his ass back to the rest of you.
Still, you wouldn't leave. Not without your sword, and especially not without Carol. You couldn't leave her. You knew you were just in some kind of shock yourself, and you were in no state to be making decisions like that yourself. What you knew you needed was time. Time to think and time to cope.
You just didn't see yourself getting any of that anytime soon.
Chapter 22: Worst Case Scenario
Chapter Text
For the next hour and a half, you stayed with Beth and watched the sun set behind the trees. You were also on the watch for a familiar looking car coming up the driveway. You were fortunate not to see any walkers. Unfortunate not to see the car you were looking for.
By now, it was dark, and no one had seen Rick, Glenn, or Hershel. You wanted to go out and look for your friends, but you had other responsibilities to take care of.
You had been pacing around the room for a while now, chewing your nails and checking Beth's pulse on and off. There was no improvement, no matter how many drugs you filed into her system.
But, if something did happen and she did wake up, someone needed to be there in order for her not to have another panic. That was the only thing that you could have guessed would set that unconsciousness off.
And you sure as hell didn't want to be putting up with this any more than you really needed to. Still, you waited and didn't complain about anything. Maybe in your head or just to yourself, but you made sure to keep quiet.
"[Y/N]?" You heard the doorknob turn and a semi-familiar voice fill the room. You turned around quickly, raising an eyebrow when you saw Maggie leaning in the doorway. "Dinner's ready," she stated, to which you nodded a bit.
You watched as her eyes shifted over to her sister that was still lying on the bed, "How's she holdin' up?" As you started to walk over, you bit back a sigh that you knew she wouldn't be happy to hear from you.
"She's running a fever, but I'm keeping an eye on her," you stated, nodding and looking directly at her, "But she'll be back to normal soon as Rick and Glenn bring your dad back. So, I'd say she'll be up and responsive by tomorrow."
When you said that, Maggie looked up and nodded a bit, seeming to have reassured her.
There was another long, uncomfortable pause before she turned back to you and spoke again, "Um, dinner's ready." You nodded, shoving your hands in your pockets, "Oh, thanks."
Starting to walk over to her, you kept your eyes straight ahead of you and didn't bother to look up at Maggie at all. You just hoped that if something went terribly wrong, she didn't name you as the reason why.
"So," you started, making Maggie turn to you. You raised an eyebrow, "You and Glenn official now or what?" She seemed surprised that you asked that, to which you only chuckled softly.
"It's obvious he's got a thing for you," you stated, shrugging. After you said that, she sighed a bit, and it made her sound, frustrated. You looked over at her again, raising an eyebrow, "What's up?"
Once again, she sighed a bit and shook her head, "Nothin'." Your brow furrowed, "He say something to you? 'Cause if he did, I'll-- "
Before you could finish, Maggie chuckled and shook her head again, "More of something he didn't say." Glenn was right. This girl was confusing.
"And," you started, raising your eyebrows, "What might that be?" Maggie stopped and turned to you, pausing before shrugging and smiling helplessly, "I told him I loved him. And he didn't say it back."
As soon as you heard that, you rolled your eyes a bit, "Yeah. He can be a dumbass. But, he and Rick will be back, and your dad will be with them." You cocked a bit of a crooked smile at Maggie before the both of you started to head back off to dinner.
The rest of the way to the dining room was silent between the two of you. You barely heard anything from the dining room itself, where almost everyone else was gathered.
It was eerie and uncomfortable, which you could imagine.
As soon as the both of you walked in the room, you met Shane and Andrea, who were just coming in as well.
"They should have been back by now," Andrea said, going over and grabbing a seat. You let out a quiet sigh, agreeing with what she had just said. No matter how cool you were trying to play it with Maggie, you had been worrying a great deal yourself.
"Yeah," Shane added, sitting himself down in a chair at the head of the table, "Must be holed up somewhere." Nope. You'd tried to use that excuse to reassure yourself as well, and it had stopped working for you soon enough.
"We'll head out first thing in the morning," he said, looking directly at Carl, who wouldn't meet his gaze. You walked past the small boy, ruffling his hair up a bit before going and sitting down just as Patricia came to serve you, "Thank you."
"Carl," Shane started, making him look over, "I want you to keep your head up. Okay?" You couldn't see his facial expression at the moment but watched as he nodded and looked back down at his plate.
Shane chuckled a bit and shook his head, "Your old man... He's the toughest son of a--"
Just as he was about to spit out another profanity, he was quickly and sternly cut off by Patricia, "No cussin' in the house."
That brought Shane's gaze up a bit before he looked back down, "Sorry." You shook your head a bit, looking down at your plate, earning Carl's gaze.
You glanced over at him as you saw him smile. And, when he did that, you felt a small grin tugging at the corners of your mouth for the first time today. An actual, genuine smile.
You huffed out a bit of a chuckle before turning back to your food and bringing a fork-full up to your mouth. "Lori, dinner," your aunt said as she walked passed you, calling out.
Maggie turned around soon after that, speaking quickly, "She's not in there." Your brow furrowed as you looked over your shoulder, "Where is she?"
There was a long moment of silence as everyone turned around to face each other, scanning the other peoples' faces for any kind of answer.
When the silence didn't end for a while, everyone had pretty much confirmed that no one had seen or knew where Lori was.
When you looked over, you saw the look of worry already starting to spread over Carl's face. Shane must have caught onto this too, as he sat up and spoke in a very calm voice, "Carl, when's the last time you saw your mom?"
He thought a bit before answering just as calmly, despite his facial expression, "This afternoon."
That was when the memory spiked, and you found your chance to explain a bit, "Yeah, she was worried about Rick. Wanted me to get Daryl to go look for him." Shane raised an eyebrow, asking you to go on.
You sighed and shrugged a bit, shaking your head, "Didn't do it. Don't think I would have even gotten him to budge if I tried." By this time, all eyes were on you. Dale raised his eyebrows in worry, "She went after them?"
You turned to him and shrugged once again, shaking your head, "She didn't say that, but..."
Once again, there was another brief silence as everyone looked around again. Then, all at once, that stillness broke and everyone started to move.
You got up and pushed in your chair, already starting to make your way to the door. "Nobody panic," Shane explained from in front of you, "She gonna be around here somewhere." Yeah. You hoped.
Everyone started to make their way through the house with you right behind Shane. Carl was right behind you, and you could almost sense his worry. You were pretty worried as well, but mostly for Carl.
His mom and his dad were both missing. You just kinda had to convince yourself not to think of the worst-case scenario.
You all filed out onto the porch, pausing there for a moment as everyone looked around. "Okay," Shane started, immediately turning to you and pointing, "[Y/N], T-Dog, check the yards. Together."
You nodded, looking over at T and nodding to him and turning to start off. You heard him directly behind him and you also felt something. A kind of guilt was spreading through you, knowing that you very well could be a key factor in Lori's disappearance.
You just hoped you played a part in finding her to redeem yourself.
* * *
~Carol's P.O.V. ~
"Carol, you just stay here with Carl," Shane instructed, turning to her and the small boy. She nodded rapidly, figuring that was all the good that she could do in this situation.
Naturally, she wanted to comfort and shelter the things or people that needed it. She could only imagine the world of worry all of this had sent Carl into, but she knew that he was strong. She also knew that he could be foolish at times.
Turning to him, she placed her hands on his shoulders as she watched their leader go out with Andrea to start searching around.
At least no one else was leaving now, and she could only hope that Lori would be found safe and sound. Though, that never really did work out for her when it came to people that she cared about.
She shunned the images and memories from earlier that day from her mind and gripped the small boy's shoulders a bit tighter.
"Don't worry," she said softly, nodding a bit as she tried to reassure herself as well, "Shane will find her."
Just as she said that Carl ripped away and stormed into the house, slamming the door behind him, leaving Carol standing there with only Maggie and Patricia.
All of them stood in a silence for a moment before Carol finally looked over to the both of them. She drew in a sharp breath, tensing up a bit. Maggie and Patricia got the hint, and Patricia turned to go enter the house.
Carol turned back out to the open night air, catching a sight of her niece walking through the night mist. She was so brave. She always put others before herself, even when she was mourning the loss of her cousin. Carol's own daughter.
All that Carol could think about was that all she did was rip up a cluster of roses when she was wandering the woods. It also made her think of another person too. Daryl.
Even if [Y/N] never admitted it, Carol could tell that [Y/N] cared for him.
Carol saw the looks. The conversations. The way that Daryl spoke to and defended her. It was so different than anyone else in the camp. They were good for each other to have in this world. And now, one of the only things left that were keeping Carol's niece together was pulling away.
Carol thought to herself, drawing in a quick breath.
I wasn't able to stop one person from leaving us, but I'll be damned if I just stand around here doing nothing.
Without another word, Carol turned and started down the steps and off into the night, eyes fixed on a soft, flickering glow in the far distance.
Bringing her pace up to a jog, Carol got there as fast and quiet as she could, looking around for a familiar figure. She didn't have to run or look long to find him and come right up to him.
He was poking mindlessly at the fire ahead of him with a large stick, giving no indication to Carol as she came up to him.
"We can't find Lori," she started breathily, "And the others aren't back yet either." There was a moment of silence before Daryl spat back over his shoulder, "Yeah. That dumb bitch must've gone off lookin' for them. Listen to what someone told her to do for once."
As she heard that, Carol's brow furrowed. This version of Daryl was almost unfamiliar to her. More so that she had almost forgotten this side of him. He had changed so much over the course of them traveling, and he seemed to have made a complete backslide down to stage one.
"You told her to go herself?" He fired a sideways glare, pausing a bit before going back and tending to his fire. Carol scoffed a bit, "And you didn't say anything?"
After that, there was no response from Daryl. The wasn't even acknowledgment that she was still standing there.
Carol shook her head, unbelieving to what she was hearing as she turned around and started to walk back slowly.
She didn't get only a few steps before she stopped in her tracks and remembered [Y/N]. He cared about her. Maybe that would get him to think about coming back and helping in the search for Lori.
More so, she wanted Daryl back with [Y/N] to keep her from being hurt any more than she already had been.
Spinning on her heel, Carol started back towards Daryl, "Please don't do this to [Y/N]... Don't pull away from the group. From her. "
There was a pause as Daryl stopped once again, turning a bit to stare directly at Carol, but his expression was completely unreadable, though it was a response none the less.
After that, Carol's shoulders dropped a bit as she pleaded on. "She's already lost Sophia..."
That set off a reaction, though it wasn't one that she was really looking for.
Daryl turned back and sneered, throwing the large stick he had down and swept an arm down to grab his crossbow. He got up after that, growling out from over his shoulder. "Yeah, she ain't my problem neither."
Just like Carl, Daryl stormed passed her, leaving her only to look after him as he stalked into the night, leaving her with a faint hurt inside of her chest.
She let her shoulders sink down, closing her eyes and sighing a bit. She wracked her brain for a single trait that [Y/N] seemed to find attractive in him, though she couldn't think of a thing. At least, not now.
All Carol could think of to do was start heading back and tell the rest of the group of the new information she had recently obtained, because there was no way that she was going after Daryl while he was like that.
* * *
~ Your P.O.V. ~
"Nothin'," you said to T-Dog as you left the barn, lowering your arm that covered your nose as you shook your head. You brushed off your hands as T-Dog shook his head and looked down with a groan.
You placed a hand on the top of your head, itching your neck and shrugging helplessly before starting to walk back to the group, "Damn it..."
T-Dog got the hint and started to follow shortly after, though you didn't notice him.
A small, creeping guilt settled in the pit of your stomach, making you punchy and jumpy, along with frustrated with yourself.
You could have gone out to help her, but you were stuck with Beth. You would have, had you known that nothing would have happened with Beth, but you weren't going to put someone else's life on the line like that, knowing that you would have felt even more guilty if something had happened to Beth.
Overall, there was no win-win. You were just sick and tired of losing people, and you just wanted to know. To know of Rick, Glenn, and Hershel had died or not.
And now that Lori was out there, that just piled on. You just wanted to know something for certain instead of just having to hope. You were sick and tired of just hoping.
Only when you all got back to your camp did you realized how fast you were walking and were brought to a sudden stop.
Shane looked at you, along with the rest of people there as they waited for answers. You shook your head, looking down, "She's not at the barn and we checked the yards." Your teeth gritted together as you close your eyes and rubbed your face.
"Where is she?!" You looked up and to Carl as he came closer to you, almost pleading. You sighed quietly, opening your mouth to apologize to him before you heard some footsteps coming up from behind you.
"She's in town," Carol said, making you turn around. She came to a stop, breathing heavily after having jogged across the long stretch of land, "Daryl told her to..."
You brought your hands up and rested them on the sides of your head with a defeated groan. A rushing wave of anger and frustration washed over you as you heard the name.
All you wanted to do at that moment was to run out and confront Daryl, and on how he really was starting to act selfishly in not caring about anything that happened to anyone else. But, you couldn't do that now.
Soft whimpering came from behind you, making you spin around and look back down at Carl.
Reaching out and bending down, your expression instantly softened as you tried to look into his eyes.
"Hey," you said, speaking quietly as you placed your hand on his shoulder in a move to comfort him.
Instead, he jerked away and spun around, stalking off towards the house again. "Carl," you said, trying to get his attention softly as he ignored you. You straightened up after that, sighing and closing your eyes.
You felt something grip your arm and spin you around, making your eyes wide as you stared up at Shane. He glared down at you, speaking accusingly as he asked, "Did you know about this?"
Immediately, you glared, spitting through clenched teeth, "No." You both held each other's stare for a moment before Shane looked over your shoulder and moved onto Dale.
You didn't look behind you after that, though you did meet the rest of the group's frightened stare.
Last time something like that happened between Shane and you, it ended with a black eye on your behalf, and no one was quick to forget that.
"Did she take a gun?" Shane was just as challenging with Dale as he was with you, and you were able to tell that for the past couple of days, there had been some kind of conflict between the both of them. You could care less about that though. That was their affair.
You were just waiting for them to grow the fuck up and start dealing with actual problems besides their school-yard bickering and bullying.
"I don't know," he replied coolly. Shane paused a moment, hissing out a short exhale. "I wouldn't let her go out alone," he added, but your eyes were now locked on Shane again as he whipped around and started storming off somewhere.
Watching, you saw him jog over to a car and rip the door open as he fished the keys out of his back pocket before ducking into the car.
Shit.
It was pretty obvious to everyone still there what was about to happen, and your guesses were confirmed as soon as the car started up.
There wasn't another second for you to run up and tell Shane not to leave you all- not now at least- before the car lurched forward and made a sharp turn.
Going as fast as he possibly could, Shane sped down the driveway and turned off shortly after that, leaving you all in an eerie silence once the engine was no longer heard.
Everyone just stood there for a while, and you were still feeling immensely frustrated with everything. Shane just disappeared as well. There was no one there that you assumed could make the calls now, and you didn't want everyone to start falling into a panic.
Rick was gone. Shane was gone. Daryl was being... Himself, so that automatically left him off the table. Lori was gone. Glenn was gone. Hershel was gone. That left you with absolutely no one with an effective amount of authority. That was at least what you had thought.
Sighing you turned around, preparing to go and stalk off to God knows where, but you met T-Dog's cautious and questioning glance. You stopped, looking around after that.
That was when you realized everyone was looking at you. And you had no idea why the hell they were doing that. But, they were waiting for something.
All of your leaders weren't there and all of them had a chance of never making it back to your group and the barn, and that obviously was evident to everyone there. Now, they moved onto the next person, just like you would have.
You just didn't expect it to be you.
Glancing around again, you racked your brain for things to keep these people busy. That's at least what you would have done.
"Uh," you started, shifting your weight a bit as you pointed to Dale, "Why don't you go up on the RV. Keep a look out for when they get back." There was a bit of a pause as Dale nodded.
"One of them might be injured," you added a little quieter before turning to Carol.
"I need you to look in on Beth," you stated, walking a bit closer. "There's really been no sign of response from her yet, but if she starts to wake up, you need to get me," you explained, to which Carol nodded. "Also, would you keep an eye on Carl?"
She nodded once again, to which you nodded back in gratitude. After that, your eyes scanned the rest of the people around you who were still looking for answers.
Speaking in a calm and level voice, you acknowledged everyone there. "Now, I don't want anyone to panic," you stated firmly, "And I don't want anyone leaving. I just want everyone to keep cool and stay calm. They'll be back, but no one needs to lose their heads in the meantime."
There was a brief paused as the rest of them broke eye contact or nodded.
Almost instantly after that, there was another problem that rose up in your head that needed to be solved, though you really didn't see anyone else having a chance of solving it besides yourself.
Without another word, you turned and started off across the large clearing, your teeth gritting against each other once again. Your departure wasn't ignored either as Dale called out. "Well, where are you going?"
Not even turning around, you answered bitterly and loudly, "Not far. I just got something I need to straighten out."
And, without another word, you made your trek across the yard in front of you towards the small glow of light on the other end, eyes blazing with just as much fire as the flame in the distance.
It didn't take you long to get there at all with the speed that you were walking at, backed up by the anger and frustration you had built up. The sight of Daryl's new 'camp' didn't help either.
You paused, looking over at his motorcycle and crossbow perched up against a tree right next to his tent. You looked over, starting to walk closer to it and gazing in, half hoping to see Daryl in there. No such luck.
Well, pretty lucky for him. You probably would have ended up setting it on fire or something.
You looked up once again, scanning around for any figure. What you did see was quite odd, though.
Fixing your eyes on a clothes-line with a number of different things hanging from it, you started to walk forward.
As you got closer, you saw a rabbit skin, along with a squirrel skin. There was a leg of God only knows what beside it, but the last thing was the most confusing and disturbing for you.
The walker ears that Dixon had been wearing earlier were hung up as well. There were walker ears strung around a shoelace, which you could only guess he wore as some sort of sick trophy.
Scoffing quietly to yourself, you started to turn around, not even sure that you wanted to waste your time with this man. You were instantly stopped in your tracks as soon as you did look back. You hadn't even heard the large figure come up from behind you, and it caught you completely off-guard as you reached down to start to unsheathe your sword.
"What are you doin'?" Daryl barked at you, causing you to sigh in relief that it wasn't a walker that you were unprepared for.
Sliding the weapon back into its sheath, you scrambled for another thing to say. "What the hell is this?" Damn. Not a good thing to say.
Daryl stalked past you a little, keeping his glare locked on you as he hissed out, "None of your business."
You rolled your eyes a little after that, shaking your head and looking off to the side. Just as you did, Daryl started off again, but you hadn't come all the way out here just to check out his new place.
Hurrying forward, you put less distance between you and Daryl and you spoke in a sharp tone as you tried to hide the exhaustion you had.
"I'm not just gonna let you pull away Daryl," you stated, making Daryl stop in his tracks as he slowly turned to gaze over his shoulder. You held a hard stare as well, though your voice was softer, "You've earned your place."
As soon as you said that, Daryl whirled around and faced you head on, walking towards you until he was practically towering over you, "If you spent half your time minding Sophia's business instead of sticking your nose in everyone else's she'd still be alive!"
His voice rose slowly as he spoke, though you didn't back away, despite how much hurt that had spread through you. You had spent the entire day working and trying to distract yourself from really having to accept the fact that she was gone.
One other thing that came to realization for you was that he was right. Had you been there, she might have still been here.
There was a long moment of silence before you shrugged helplessly and looked down for a moment before glancing back up.
"Go ahead," you said quietly, waiting for him to rain hell on all of the mistakes you had made. You also assumed that this was what he needed as well. Just someone to talk to, and maybe someone else to blame. Because you knew more than anyone how much Daryl blamed himself.
He scoffed after that, narrowing his eyes as he leaned forward challenging, "Go ahead and what?"
You stayed silent after that, softening your expression until it was unreadable as he still glared. He shook his head in frustration as he whipped around, stalking away from you for a moment before whirling around again a throwing his arm in a sweeping motion, "JUST GO! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!"
Another sharp pang at that, but you didn't show it. You just let it boil up and let Daryl continue. When he didn't get a reaction from you had you had been hurt, that only made him even more pissed off.
Once again, he got in your face, pointing at you with eyes blazing, "You're a real piece of work, [Y/N]."
There was another brief silence as you now just started to become numb to everything that he was staying, knowing that all of it was true. And he just kept beating down on you.
He leaned down a bit, getting to your level and pointing at you still, "You're afraid." Once again, he was right. That was the most correct thing he had said about you this entire time. Because you felt afraid. Afraid for Rick and Glenn and afraid for Beth and Carol. Yes, you were afraid.
Daryl continued on. "You're afraid 'cause you're all alone," he accused sharply, shaking his head.
"You got no boyfriend," he added, shaking his head, "No little girl." The pain that he was still trying to inflict on you had become familiar and had stopped coming in waves. It just settled and burned in your stomach.
And still, Daryl wasn't done.
"You don't know what to do with yourself," he spat, starting to come closer once again and raised his voice.
"And you ain't my problem," he said, pointing directly at you as he began to shout. "SOPHIA WASN'T MINE!"
There was another moment of brief silence as you noticed Daryl's physical behavior changing. He looked threatening. All of this was all too familiar. The blame. The yelling. The threat. You looked up at him still, showing nothing.
Daryl's jaw clenched as he lunged forward, "ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS KEEP A EYE ON HER!" That was when he seemed to snap.
You saw his hand raise up, as if he was getting ready to hit you. Images flashed before your eyes from the past as you closed your eyes, flinching away a bit, but showing no fear. Honestly, you were convinced that you deserved this.
You prepared yourself for the strong sensation of pain to spread across your face, but it didn't come.
Your eyes opened again as you met face to face with a completely furious-looking and conflicted Daryl.
You raised an eyebrow, silently asking if he was done. He backed away after that, leaving a tense silence between the both of you. You both just stared at each other for a while before you spoke quietly.
"Yeah..." You took in a long inhale, holding his glare for a moment longer before starting to turn again, not knowing if you wanted to say anything or not. You could still feel his eyes on you as he waited for the next move, though you couldn't think of a single thing to say.
All you could think about was how Daryl got what he wanted. A reaction from you. You just hoped he was satisfied with himself for that now.
* * *
As soon as you got back, Shane had driven up, and Lori had been with him. She also wasn't very happy at all to find that Shane had lied to her about Rick and the rest of them being back there. Of course, Shane lied to her. He never did seem to stop his lying.
But, despite you still being hurt by what Daryl had been saying, you quickly put that all aside and started to help her quickly.
As you were leading her to the house, she kept spilling out to you about how she was afraid for Rick and how much she hated Shane just then. It really was one of the first times you actually agreed with her on close to everything.
But, you could tell already that she was a bit disoriented from getting into a crash and being all scraped and banged up.
It wasn't hard to get her to get up and cooperate though. It was more difficult getting her to shut up and calm down. But, once she was relaxed and Carl was sitting on the couch next to her, she was back to her normal self.
She also had some explaining to do with Carl.
In the panic of getting back, she had shared with the whole group that she was pregnant, and Carl wasn't extremely happy with her not telling him right away, which you really could understand. But Carl was mostly just glad to have his mother back.
He also had a shit load of question's for his mom about this baby.
You were in the middle of patching Lori up a bit, dabbing a washcloth on her forehead gently as you leaned over her.
"Thank you," she said quietly. You nodded and set the cloth down again as you sat across from her. There was a bit of an awkward silence between you, Carl, Andrea, and Dale who were all sitting in the room.
Eventually, you faced what you had to. Looking up, you spoke calmly and softer.
"Hey, I'm... I'm sorry for what I said," you said apologetically, shaking your head and chuckling, "Shouldn't be calling other people assholes if I'm acting like one myself."
That earned a soft laugh from Lori as well as she looked down. "We're all frustrated right now. It's understandable," she insisted.
"So," Carl started, catching your attention. He looked over to his mom, "Is it a boy or a girl?" You had to hide a smile from spreading across your face. Something had obviously not clicked when his parents gave him the 'sit-down talk'.
"We won't know that until it's born," she explained with a smile.
Carl nodded, raising a hand up to place over his mother's stomach, which was no where near showing as he asked, "Will I be able to feel it?"
Okay, maybe a few things didn't exactly click.
Lori chuckled again, shaking her head, "Not for a while." There was a pause as the smile slipped away from Lori's face, "Must have a lot of questions, huh?"
After that, Carl nodded a bit. Lori looked down and then over to you and the two other people in the room as she began to explain, "We never... Had 'the talk'." That explained it.
You looked down, nodding a little bit. He must be confused about a hell of a lot of things.
"I guess we forgot," Lori said with a helpless chuckle. You nodded a bit, looking up again. Now, you realized Carl was staring at you. He must have assumed you knew everything about this because you were a doctor.
You smiled, shaking your head, "Nope. That's your father's job for when he gets back."
There was a ripple of chuckles after you said that from everyone besides Carl in the room, who was just looking down in embarrassment.
"If the baby's a girl," Carl started warily, looking up at you,"can we name her Sophia?" As soon as he said that, the smile faded from your face slowly. Lori must have noticed this as she looked down.
There was a long silence from everyone in the room. You just thought that it was a bit too soon for that. Naming things in honor of your late cousin. It would only remind you that she was gone day after day.
"Hey, dude," You heard Shane say from the door way, causing you to instantly harden you expression and look up. He gave you a quick glance, but paid no attention to you after that. He was just staring and waiting for Lori to look up at him again, which she wasn't about to do.
"I'm sorry, bud," he said, shrugging, "I thought you knew." Carl looked up after that, smiling and touching the brim of his hat, "Big brother Carl." That earned a smile from you as he said that. He looked back at Shane after that, "Sounds pretty cool, huh?"
Shane chuckled after than, nodding, "I'd say that's very cool." They were the only two laughing after that.
It was uncomfortable from Shane's point, and you could easily tell. Then, there was another moment of silence as Shane went back to staring at Lori, who still refused to look at the man in the doorway.
Shane looked over to Carl, "Mind if I talk to your mom a sec?" You rolled your eyes a little, starting to stand up and come to Lori's defense in this situation, "How 'bout later. After she's had some rest."
There was a lingering glare between the both of you again, to which Shane was the first to break off, giving you a small victory in your mind.
"Lori, I had to get you back here," he insisted, "You wouldn't have come otherwise."
Once again, a long pause. Everyone in the room besides Carl and Lori was glaring at Shane. You, Dale, and Andrea collectively.
He sighed quietly and stepped into the room, coming up to the couch behind Lori and leaning on it, "How 'bout you just hear me out, please?" Lori still didn't look t him. Shane sighed, "It's okay..."
Half of you wanted to stand up and tell him to back the fuck off. The only thing that stopped you was Carl sitting right there. He didn't need fights breaking out right in front of him.
Plus, Lori should learn to stand up and defend herself. She should also learn to do things for herself. Well, do things herself and not almost get killed.
She took in a long inhale, and you were hoping she would start putting Shane in his place. Your hopes dropped when she reached over and patted Carl's leg a bit, "Okay. Give us a minute."
You had to conceal rolling your eyes as you started to stand up and make your way for the door, standing and waiting for Carl to catch up behind you.
He quickened his pace to come walk beside you, and you went to knock the brim of his hat down again. He chuckled, nudging you a bit and making you laugh.
You looked down at him, feeling a pang of pity spring through yourself. The was the second time he had the thought that his father was gone. Maybe you'd do something to cheer him up.
"Hey," you started, stopping in your tracks. He stopped and look behind him, waiting for you to explain. You looked back in the room behind you before you cocked your head, "Wanna go out? Do a perimeter search with me?"
Almost instantly, a smile spread across Carl's face. "Yeah," he said excitedly, making you smile even wider as well. Walking past him, you patted his back, "C'mon."
He followed like a puppy behind you, but the both of you stayed quiet until you were outside. You looked over at him, raising an eyebrow, "You still got your gun?" Carl shook his head, to which you nodded, "Good."
He seemed a bit confused about that. You had your gun tucked snugly in the back of your waistband, so you really didn't need your sword. And you really didn't think it would have to come to you using it.
There were barely any walkers that you had seen around these parts, and you weren't going to take him far at all. Just to take a walk and talk with him to get his mind off of his dad, and maybe cheer him up a bit.
Besides, he was safe with you. Any walker tried to come near him, you'd cave in it's skull with your knuckles. Nothing would get to Carl. Not as long as you were alive.
"Okay," said quietly after that, looking down at him. "Can I trust you?" Carl still looked up at you, but nodded quickly. You nodded back, looking down to your side.
Slowly, you started to unsheathe your sword from it's holster, looking around. No one else was out side to yell at you for doing this, so you carried on. Holding it out, you watched as Carl's eyes lit up.
"But," you said, making sure to regain his attention, "You have to promise me to be extremely careful with this. I don't want to get in trouble with your mom if you poke your eye out or something."
Carl nodded quickly after that, carefully taking the heavy weapon out of your hands. "Point it down and away from your body," you instructed as you began to walk with him slowly.
"And you have to be careful not to trip," you said, "This thing throws off your balance." Carl walked next to you still with ease, with you were surprised by. Glancing over to him, you smiled and chuckled, earning the same from him as you both began to walk around.
It was a while before either of you decided to strike up any conversation, but Carl was the first. "So how'd you learn to use this?"
You shrugged a little, thinking up a quick story in your head, "If I tell you, you can't tell anyone else."
Hiding a smirk from your face, you held a stern expression as Carl gazed up at you. You scanned off in front of you, keeping a serious voice as well as you explained, "I'm a knight."
When you said that, you didn't expect Carl to actually believe you. His eyes snapped over to you, and you quickly nodded.
"Yeah," you said, nodding, "I've met the Queen of England too. She gave me my knighthood." By now, it was getting harder and harder to hide the laughs and chuckles that tried to escape your body.
"I'm just really good at hiding my accent," you concluded, looking over to Carl again. His brow furrowed a bit, looking confused more than anything.
Eventually, a slow smile started to creep across your face, making Carl nudge you in the side with his elbow, "No way!"
Still smiling, you raised you hands up and bit and began to walk again, "Yep, you caught me. Just took fencing in high school."
There was another moment of laughing as you both walked on.
Eventually, you were passing pretty close to Daryl's new camp, but you were pretty careful to keep your distance away from him and his 'territory'.
You were just hoping that Carl wouldn't bring up anything about him, and you were glad when the both of you had just passed his tent and camp quietly. You were even more happy not to see him.
There was a brief silence as you both continued on, and you were just thinking of something else to start a conversation on with Carl.
"Do you like Daryl?" As soon as Carl asked that, your eyebrows raised as you looked over at him, surprised.
Carl looked back up at you with a soft smile, looking back down as he continued, "I think you do." You blinked as your brow furrowed, "First I've ever heard of that. Interesting."
There was another brief silence, and you thought that you had dropped the subject. But, Carl wasn't done, "Well, do you?"
You bit down on the inside of your cheek, discreetly rolling your eyes a bit. You knew what he meant by that. A little school girl crush on the bad boy. You wanted to laugh at that.
Still, you hesitated before answering that, telling yourself that it was only because you had zoned off, and that was it. Nothing else besides being a bit flighty and tired.
"Not at the moment, really," you said with a quiet sigh. Carl nodded, "You think he'll come back? I mean, to the group?"
Again, you hesitated before answering, scratching the back of your head. You just kind of shrugged it off and looked down, shoving your hands in your pockets, "Maybe... Probably."
Nodding, you continued, just hoping and praying that Carl would drop the subject. Still, he wasn't done.
"Do you hope he will?" Once again, another sigh from you. Carl was a kid, and you trusted him. You didn't need to keep up that barricading wall that held your emotions back with him because you trusted him.
Nodding softly, you look down at him once again as you answered quietly, "Yeah."
Carl nodded as well, and you finally were relieved that he seemed to accept that. Plus, the both of you were coming to the end of your walk.
Patting the back of his shoulder firmly before he stopped just before the steps up to the porch. "Alright," you said, making Carl turn around as you still stared at the doorway, "Go see your mom. Get some rest too."
He nodded without complaint, handing back your sword as well. You smiled and ruffled his hair a bit as he walked up the steps. Unlike him, you wouldn't be resting anytime soon.
You'd make a few extra rounds around the barn before that. "Hey." You turned back around as Carl called to you from halfway up the stairs, to the point where he was just at your height.
He leaned forward, placing a hand on your shoulder and smiling.
"I still think you like him," he stated.
I thought we were done with this.
You cocked an eyebrow at him, only making him smile a bit.
"I think you're just scared to," he finished with a smile. That earned an eye roll and another smile from you as Carl pulled his hand away from your shoulder.
Glancing down a bit, you heard Carl walk his way inside and close the door behind him, leaving you in your own company and the silence that were only broken by the chirruping of crickets.
After that, your mind was brought back to Daryl, and even to thinking about what Carl had said to you. Confused and without an answer, you let out another long sigh to yourself as you looked down to sheathe your weapon again.
You didn't have any feelings for him. You continuously told yourself that every time you caught yourself staring or thinking of him. You didn't need anyone else to love, and then eventually end up loosing in time. And he obviously didn't share any feelings for you as well.
The only reason you thought he didn't hit you was because he didn't want to be like Shane. He just wanted to know that he hurt you or scared you in some way. And, if you were honest; he had.
You trusted Daryl, even if you didn't openly show it. You trusted him to the point where you trusted him not to hit you or do anything like that to you. That was why it made you flinch away so much.
You wanted him back, and you couldn't lie to yourself about that. You loved Carol with every inch of your heart and soul, but he was different.
He was someone you could bare all to. Someone to tell things to, and if you were being irrational or a bitch, someone to tell you that. Someone to laugh with at stupid things, and someone to get shit-faced drunk with the alcohol you could find nowadays. You couldn't do all of that with Carol.
Blinking heavily, you shook your head and started to walk again. A lot of people wanted a lot of things. And sometimes, people didn't get them. And all you could do was stop your bitching and whining about it and carry on best you knew how.
Bringing your pace up to a jog, you stopped at the foot of the RV's ladder before climbing up quickly. Dale- who was already sitting up there- turned around to face you, holding his rifle in his hands.
You quietly walked over to him, scanning the area in front of you both as you spoke, "Anything?" There was a moment of hesitation before Dale shook his head quickly, "No."
Nodding after that, you let out a long exhale and turned to him fully, "Right." Patting his arm a little, you spoke quickly and firmly, "I'll take watch. You go and rest."
Dale seemed to consider telling you that he would be fine, but when you picked the rifle up from off of the folding chair that he had set down, he saw that it was pointless to try to talk you out of it.
He nodded quickly and started for the back of the RV.
When you were just about to sit down, T-Dog came up to the RV and looked up at you, shaking his head. Just what you expected, "Alright. Go rest. I'll watch." He nodded after that, and you sat down.
The night air was cool and crisp with a crescent moon hanging over you. Not a walker in sight. It was almost like you had forgotten about them.
Now, you just had your built up emotions. All of them screaming and shoving to get out of you. But, right now, you just focused on how nice tonight was as you leaned back in the chair with the rifle in your lap, kicking your feet out in front of you.
Sighing heavily, you reached into your pocket and fished around in there until you found what you were looking for. Pulling it out, you watched as the small charm shined in the moonlight beautifully.
And, for the first time, you thought of Sophia and it made you smile.
Maybe it was because you were tired or just messed up from all of the emotions crowding your head, but it made you smile. This resembled her, even if she never wore it or even saw it.
Setting the rifle down beside you, you took the two ends of the chain and slowly wrapped it around your neck, starting to secure and clip it behind you.
When you finally managed to do so, you leaned back once again, gazing up at the sky. You began to think of everyone else. Carol, Rick, Hershel, Carl, Glenn. Daryl. Smiling to yourself, you spoke, barely even a whisper to yourself. "Keep them safe, Filly..."
Chapter 23: Any Kind of Saint
Chapter Text
Nothing. No cars. No walkers. You saw nothing while you were sitting watch. You couldn't help nodding off a few times, but that was all that happened that night.
The rifle was still set in your lap, but you had never lifted it once. You didn't even see a single living thing besides the fellow group members that were still around you.
The warm glow of the rising sun was just peaking over the treetops when you let out a long, tired sigh before sitting up and pushing yourself off of the chair with the rifle in one hand.
There was still a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach and the thought that Rick and the rest of them wouldn't come back. You hadn't even tried to convince yourself of anything, knowing all too well how that went last time.
At least the pressure of making the calls was quickly lifted off of you, but you didn't know how thrilled you were with Shane being given all the freedom he wanted without any of the other leaders back yet. You weren't even prepared to hope for them to get back.
Yes, you would have been extremely happy and relieved to see them- alive preferably- but you weren't counting on anything, and you made sure of that.
Just as you turned around, you were met with Dale as he climbed up the ladder. You guessed you were too lost in your thoughts to realize this. He nodded and smiled, to which you handed the rifle over and let him take his place in the chair.
You muffled a yawn before going and climbing down the ladder, taking a long breath of crisp, cool, Georgia air.
You really didn't know what to do, and there was no use of doing a border search because there was nothing to be found. There really was no one you wanted to talk to, giving you had no reason to.
Then, you remembered Beth. You doubted that there was any change in her since last night, but it was the only thing you could really think of doing. At least you'd feel like you were doing something useful.
You started for the house, not taking long to get there at all. Judging by when you opened the door and made your way up the stairs, no one was up yet, which made it even better. No one to complain to you. No one to bother you. No one to tell you that they were afraid. Just as you would have-
Opening the door to the room where Beth was staying in, you were surprised to see Maggie sitting there along with her and holding her sister's hand tightly in her own with Patricia beside her. Great.
Well, that wasn't really true. Not about Maggie. She didn't seem like the person to say something without it having a reason. She also didn't seem like the girl to play the damsel in distress role either. That made her the most tolerable Greene in your eyes.
There was a brief moment of silence between the three of you as they looked up at you. You gave them both an acknowledging nod before stepping in and closing the door behind you.
When no one else decided to break the silence, you spoke up finally, "How is she?" Patricia turned down again, taking the empty IV off of the rack as she replied, "No response, and the IV's out."
You nodded, itching the back of your head awkwardly.
In normal cases, you'd call for another IV, but there wasn't anything that really was normal anymore, and you had no idea how many IV's this family could spare. So, you just nodded and crossed your arms as you shifted your weight.
"I'll get another IV," Patricia offered before stepping out of the room, rubbing her temple as she did.
You looked out the window, only glancing back as Maggie shifted over her sister on the bed and quietly spoke to her. You held back a quiet sigh, fighting back the pain that so desperately tried to gnaw at you.
Maggie looked up at you, smiling weakly. Then, more pain.
Slowly, you walked over to the bedside, still with your arms crossed, "Can I... Get you anything?"
It was a while before Maggie just shook her head as she answered solemnly, "Nah, I just wish my dad was here." You nodded a little bit, humming in response.
You wouldn't complain about having Hershel back either. It was someone that would keep Shane in check at least.
"She'll be okay," you said calmly, nodding still as you did, "You just gotta stay strong. For her." After that, you weren't even sure if Maggie really heard you, until a small smile spread across her face.
She gripped Beth's hand tightly as she spoke, "I was just reminding her about--"
Maggie fell silent after that and you waited patiently for her to continue on. She looked up at you after a while and shook her head, "Never mind..."
Your first instinct was to drop the whole issue and leave the room to look for other things to do, but Maggie seemed really happy- or at least less worried- about whatever she wanted to tell you. What would it hurt to hear her out? You had nothing better to do anyway.
"No," you said calmly, nodding reassuringly as Maggie looked up, "I'd love to hear."
The smile on her face only grew wider before she looked down at Beth again. "My dad would die if he heard this," Maggie said before taking in a long breath, "My first summer back from college, I drove home and dropped my stuff off, went straight out to the stable for a ride."
You made sure you were listening to her, making eye contact from time to time and nodding. "My family comes back from church," Maggie continued, "and Beth grabs my stuff and starts unpacking it upstairs."
You cracked a smile at that, only trying to keep from seeming like you were zoning out as you spoke, "That's sweet."
Instead of agreeing, Maggie only chuckled a bit, "Yeah, until this one here starts rifling through my backpack."
She looked from you down to Beth and back, still grinning like mad. Tucking a hair behind Beth's ear, she continued, "She finds this little plastic container with these pink and green candies inside."
As soon as Maggie said that, you held back a chuckle, snickering a bit. Maggie laughed quietly along with you. You could hardly even imagine if something like that had happened to you. It'd definitely be interesting, to say the least.
It also kind of gave you an idea of what Maggie was like before and when she was younger. Though, she seemed a lot different now.
"She had no idea I was on the pill," Maggie started again, "She was so freaked out by the idea of me and boys and sex that she runs outside and chucks them in the duck pond."
You smiled once again, holding back a snicker. All the while that she was explaining this, Maggie seemed to be getting happier and happier.
"I run up, I see this and I'm screaming," she shook her head as she went on, "She's cryin' and Shawn runs outside, thinks one of us is drowning."
Still looking at Beth, Maggie started to laugh, "Soon as he finds out what's goin' on, jerk busts out laughing so loud."
Now, you could see that Maggie was actually tearing up as she glanced up at you. "My horse rears up and gets mud all over the three of us," she said, straining her voice to keep it from breaking, "And my dad comes out, 'What the heck's goin' on out here?!' And then..."
Maggie laughed weakly after that, shaking her head, "And she turns around, bats her eyelids and says, 'we're just swimmin' daddy!'"
There was a moment of silence as Maggie regained her breath, "In her Sunday dress all covered in snot and mud..."
She sniffled after that, though she tried to hide it. You realized how happy and emotional you were after hearing that, just getting some sort of image of the days before everything went wrong.
You also realized how scared she must have really been at the thought of loosing her dad. She let her guard down around you.
Getting up off from leaning on the bed frame, you caught her eyes and spoke firmly, letting yourself say this and believe that you weren't lying.
"Rick and Glenn will bring your dad back." To your relief, Maggie nodded in response, letting out another soft laugh. It was a while before she spoke again in a voice barely over a whisper, "Glenn's a good guy."
Hearing that made you smile a bit, quick to agree with a soft smile, "Yeah. He is."
The room fell into silence after that as you turned around to look out the window, crossing your arms over your chest and letting out a quiet sigh. You figured that the conversation between the both of you had come to an end, and you were just about to leave to find something productive to do.
"Was she your sister?" You were a bit surprised to hear Maggie ask that out of no where, and turned around a little. You knew she was talking about Sophia.
You opened your mouth after a while, nodding as you spoke, "My cousin. More of a sister though."
Maggie glanced down again, humming quietly. You surprised yourself as well after saying that, only by the fact that you expected to be more hurt by the thought of Sophia. But you weren't.
A sudden realization hit you after that. One that you never thought that you would meet. You didn't even know if you were supposed to have it this early after.
You had accepted it. Losing Sophia.
You had accepted that Sophia was gone, and you were ready to move on.
Maybe it was because the last thing you had said to her was that you loved her. Maybe it was because you had expected loosing her as soon as this started.
Yes, the thought of her was saddening, but you were ready to move on. You hadn't even realized how much you were lost in your thoughts before Maggie spoke again from the bed.
"And Daryl," she started, looking up at you again, "He yours?"
Are you kidding me...
The one person that you really enjoyed talking to half of the time that didn't bring that up or at least insinuate that seriously just said that. The thought of that actually humored you a little.
Chuckling lightly, you walked back and leaned on the bed frame once more before speaking, "That seems to be the common theory, but it's false."
Maggie only smiled and turned down again. "Couldn't really be more false at the moment," you stated with a shrug.
That made Maggie look up again. With a hollow chuckled, you shrugged once more as you thought about how to explain this.
"Let's just say," you started off, staring at the ground, "Daryl isn't any kind of saint." That really didn't fit his description, so you tried again. "He's..."
Shaking your head, you wracked your brain before finally coming up with a word. "Imperfect."
After hearing how that sounded, you nodded, satisfied with that. "But he's a good guy. He really is," you insisted, nodding to yourself.
The more you thought about Daryl, the more you wished you could say. The more you just wanted it to go back to normal between the both of you two again.
"And I know he tries to be a good person," you started again, shaking your head as letting yourself loose, "And I know he cares. He's done so much for this group..."
You shook your head even more, letting out a helpless laugh, "And I'd be dead several times over if it weren't for him. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for him. He never gives himself enough credit either. He was out there every single day looking for Sophia..."
You stopped shaking your head abruptly.
"And... I think he's hurt," you said with a furrowed brow, saying your thoughts aloud, "And I think that's why he's pretending not to care. Just to convince himself he doesn't..."
With another helpless laugh, you shrugged and let yourself loose again, "And I want to help him. I really do, but that only pushes him farther away and I hate that because--"
Finally, you realized what you were saying. How much you already had said.
Shutting your mouth quickly, you blinked quickly and brought yourself back to reality after that whole little spiel to Maggie. You also realized how helpless you sounded.
You had just really begun getting to know this girl, and you were already saying things like that. Stuff you didn't even tell Carol.
Quickly turning to her, you saw a wide smile on her face. Not one that showed she was making fun of you or mocking what you had said, but she looked happy. Or at least like she understood to some degree.
Silently, you got up off of the bed frame, not knowing what else to say that could possibly save your ass here. You were just about to leave before Maggie spoke up once more.
"Don't worry," she said with the same smile. "You don't tell my dad what really happened that day, and I won't say a word."
And, with one more quick nod, you ducked out of the room, humiliated and confused.
* * *
Later that day, you had found out from Shane that him and Andrea would be going out once again.
As expected, no one else seemed extremely happy with the thought of more people leaving, but it was just something that had to be done.
You yourself weren't too thrilled about it either, but you weren't about to sit around and do nothing for the rest of the day and just hope that they would get back on their own.
So, packing your hand gun and your sword, you kissed Carol on the cheek and started heading to pack the car as she stayed in the house.
All the morning, you had been trying to forget that conversation that you had with Maggie, but it had stayed in your mind.
Though, going out and looking for Rick and the rest of them would maybe get your mind off of him and that whole thing with Maggie. Well, none of that was really working out in your favor so far.
As soon as you stepped out of the house, you started for the car with your bag slung around your shoulder with bandages and a little bit of food, just in case something were to happen. Better to be safe then sorry.
But, as soon as you looked up, your eyes widened in surprise for a moment. After that, you had to keep your shoulders from visibly dropping.
Daryl slung a bag into the back of the van that Shane was about to start up, cocking a shotgun shortly after he did. Great.
Well, what could you do? Besides, it shouldn't matter to you if that asshole came or not. It didn't. Because you didn't care.
Without another pause, you started for the car as well, not making eye contact with either of the other men as you slung your own bag into the back of the car.
Though, through the corner of your eye, you could see Daryl fire a look in your direction. Maybe you were just making that up too. Maybe you wanted him to look--
Snapping yourself angrily out of you thoughts, you turned around, almost colliding with T-Dog, who had come up behind you.
Letting out a long sigh, you swerved around him with a quiet apology and took out your canteen to take a swig out of it.
The cool water touched your lips, and it was refreshing, but at that moment, you'd give up anything for that familiar burn of alcohol.
Lowering the drink from your lips, you secured it back to your sword belt and turned back to the van one again.
Once again, you were met by T-Dog, but his expression was completely different from the one before as his brow furrowed.
"Guys," he said, pointing over your shoulder. With that same instinct as before, you reached down and began to unsheathe the weapon that was at your side.
But, as soon as you saw what really was making it's way up the driveway, your expression matched T-Dog's. You didn't even believe what you were seeing yourself.
A rust-colored vehicle was making it's way up the driveway. One that you had been hoping to see for a while. Finally, it wasn't just simple hoping anymore.
Soon after that, your arms dropped down to your sides, itching for the van to pick up it's speed up the driveway.
It seemed like an eternity for it to finally start to come near you, and as soon as it passed by you, you were quick to start jogging after it, now not being able to wait for it to stop.
Pulling up to the porch, the vehicle finally came to a stop in front of you. By now, the rest of the people who had been at the farm house this entire time had stepped out, all of them with their eyes fixed on the same thing your eyes were.
There was a soft click as the latch to the door unhinged, and the drivers door swung open soon after the engine shut off. Half of you were expecting to see a complete stranger stepping out. Thank God you were wrong.
You watched as a wave of relief cascaded over you when you saw Rick step out of the car, a smile showing on his almost untouched face once he saw his wife and son. The smile on Carl's face was even bigger as he ran up to him and yelled with pure joy, "Dad!"
When they both met, Rick enveloped his son into his arms, chucking as he walked on a ways to meet his wife with another embrace.
Then, your mind snapped over to somebody else after that. Glenn.
Picking up your pace once more, you rounded the car, waiting to see the two other men who had accompanied your friend that you had already seen exit the car. Another click as you saw Hershel exit the car as well, though he looked in a worse shape.
Still, you were glad to at least see he was alive. Then another latch. That sent another wave of ease and relief over you, relaxing your shoulders, letting out a verbal sigh before turning around once again.
Maggie rushed past you with a smile on her face, going towards her dad and Glenn, but you had already started to walk away before you saw anything else from the three behind you.
Hershel walked past you after that, but you hardly paid any attention before going over and looking at Rick, who had pulled away from his wife.
All you could do at the moment was just stare at him for a while before placing your hands on your hips as you shook your head slowly.
Your actions earned an exhausted chuckled from your friend as he walked over towards you. You quickly met him with open arms, as did he.
Both of you hugged each other tightly, and you were overwhelmed with the happiness you had from having your friend back, safe and sound. Rick chuckled once again, probably from how tight you were embracing him, but you didn't care.
With a heavy sigh, you pulled back and looked him over, "You okay?" He nodded after that before turning to his wife that was only standing a few feet away from him, "Yeah, but what happened to you?"
Lori looked away shamefully after that, answering quickly, "I got in a car accident." Thought she obviously meant it to, the question didn't exactly fly over with Rick as his eyes widened in concern, "Accident? How?"
Once again, Lori looked shameful, but responded strong and stood her ground. For once.
"I went out looking for you," she stated.
After that, Shane chimed in and explained how he had brought her back, though you could care less about what he had to say, so really, nothing had changed.
Once you turned around, you just caught Glenn stalking past you. You also saw a confused and hurt-looking Maggie who was watching after him. It made your brow furrow.
The hell does he think he's doing?
Turning back around to watch Glenn as well, and, once again, T-Dog had a look of confusion and surprise plastered on his face. He raise a hand up, pointing over your shoulder, "Who the hell is that?"
Simultaneously, everyone's gaze turned to the car, and you noticed something you hadn't seem before either.
There, sitting in the back seat, was a you boy. He looked to be around Maggie's age, maybe a bit younger. But that was under all of the dirt and grime that was blotched across his face.
There was a blindfold across his eyes, and he wasn't moving. You had the same question as T-Dog as well.
Who the hell is that? And what is he doing here?
"That's Randal," Glenn answered from behind you. That literally answered none of your questions.
There was a silence that still hung in the air, and you were the first to break the stillness by going over, closer to the car. It wasn't like he was gonna do anything if he got to close. You weren't even sure if he was alive or not.
Some of the other people behind you followed, starting to crowed around the side of the car as well like you were all admiring some wild animal in a zoo.
In your defense; new people- alive, new people- were just as interesting as a lion behind a cage. They could also be just as dangerous if that lion got out.
You stopped, placing one hand on your hip and covering your mouth with the other in thought as you scanned the younger man. He definitely was beaten up pretty bad. That was who you assumed needed the surgery that Hershel was talking about.
You shifted your weight back, almost bumping into the person behind you.
Turning your gaze over, you looked up at Daryl as he shuffled backwards as well. So much for trying to avoid.
You're really bad at this, [Y/N]...
That discomfort only lasted longer when you both locked eyes for a moment, not showing any emotion from either end. Damn, you wanted to say something. At the same time, you wanted to get out of there as fast as you could.
"I'll explain more inside," Rick stated, to which you snapped back in front of you and walked past the man still standing behind you.
The rest of the group started to follow you, but you didn't see Daryl starting towards the house when you looked back to Carol. He just sat there, glaring at the boy.
Rick stayed behind after that with Glenn as they started to move the injured figure in the car. You couldn't even tell if you were upset about him staying behind or not.
Great, now he was making you confused about your feelings again. Well, that hadn't really gone away.
You hated everything about how he made you feel, because you really didn't know what he made you feel. There was no escape from it either.
It always felt like there was some kind of pull between the two of you. Some appeal to spending time together, but the more time you both spent with each other, the farther you were driven away from each other.
Being together made you want to be apart, and being apart made you wish you were still talking.
Shaking your head heavily, you snapped out of it, trying to find answers on who the hell was in the car. At least you'd get clear answers from that.
* * *
"We couldn't just leave him behind," Rick justified, "He would have bled out, if he lived that long." You were leaning against a wall with your arms crossed over your chest, peering at Rick through narrowed eyes.
He had explained everything that had happened while they were out, and why they were gone for so long. He also explained that whoever the hell Randal was belonged to a group that had shot at your group.
You had stayed quiet the entire time, but not much would change your opinion that this guy didn't deserve shit for what he did.
Had you have been there, you'd leave him for the geeks, no questions. Still, no mater how strong the feelings, you stayed silent and heard Rick out.
Everyone else was gathered around the large living room table, though you were standing alone near the window. As you scanned over the large gathering, you could already pick out many people who agreed with your opinion.
Your eyes darted over to Glenn, who was nodding in agreement. Seriously? Why did he always have to be such a good guy?
"It's gotten bad in town," he added. Sighing loudly, you shook your head and looked around, asking the question that you were sure was on everyone's mind, breaking the short silence, "So, what do we do with him?"
Rick looked at you, and you stared right back. You were serious about this.
Granted, you didn't have the most glamorous entrance into this group's presence either, you didn't have an entire group who had guns and had already shot at them.
Rick opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted when Hershel stepped into the room, cleaning his hands off, "I repaired his calf muscle best I can, but he'll probably have nerve damage. Won't be on his feet for at least a week."
You had to forcefully hold back rolling your eyes and groan from escaping your body. And they were wasting medical supplies on this guy?
When you gave all that blood and nearly passed out, you weren't exactly happy now on seeing where it was going.
Looking over to him, Rick nodded, "When he is, we'll give him a canteen and send him on his way."
Satisfied with that conclusion, you completely zoned out after that, not listening to a word that Andrea was saying about how that was basically leaving him for dead. Or rather, for the dead.
Soon after that, you heard the door opening. You couldn't see who it was, since you were around the corner.
Instead, you saw Carol turn. She cocked a little bit of a smile at whoever it was. Well, you didn't really care who it was. It was just something else to focus on than the pointless debate about that boy that was going on.
Though, shortly after that, Carol nodding to you as if there was someone looking for you. That was... Weird. Who would be looking for you?
When you began to see a figure come through the door way, it drew your attention. Your eyes looked with a familiar ice-blue pair that you had found yourself staring at recently.
You honestly didn't expect Daryl to show up. What else you didn't expect was that fact that he didn't look like you were the last person on this shitty Earth that he would want to see alive.
Shortly after he saw you, he nodded in greeting. You cocked a smile, looking off to the side after that. Silently- and unwillingly- you hoped to hear footsteps approaching you. And, you're unwanted wish was granted shortly after.
Daryl came over after that, leaning against the wall right beside you. Once again, you turned your gaze towards him, but didn't meet his eyes as you spoke softly, "Hey."
He hummed quietly after that. A response. Progress.
There were no more words from either one of you after that, but that didn't stop thinking about him. When he first saw you, there wasn't a speck of annoyance or remorse that he had seen you, He almost seemed... Happy. You didn't want to get your hopes too high though.
Most of all, you were just glad that you were able to put that whole thing from before behind you both, and maybe you could move on. The only thing you hoped more for was that this would finally stick around instead of just being another fleeting feeling.
Once you fell back into the atmosphere of the debate, you tuned into what Shane was saying. "Just gonna let him go?"
Silently, you watched again, like this was some kind of game, though you didn't know which team you were cheering for. Team one; good player, shitty game plan. Team two; shitty player, better plan.
You didn't want to see that kid being let go, only for the risk of him getting back to the others in his group. Then again; he was only a kid. There was another argument between Shane and Rick, and it continued on for a while before Shane practically threw up his arms and stormed out.
"Look at this, folks," he shouted angrily, storming past you and out the room, "We back in Fantasy Land."
Rolling your eyes openly, you glanced over at Daryl for a moment. Shane seemed to be having another one of his tantrums when he didn't get what he wanted. Wasn't exactly an uncommon thing nowadays.
Hershel followed after him, yelling back at him, though you really didn't care what he was saying. As long as Shane was being put back in his place.
He wasn't the leader anymore, and the sooner he realized that, the better off this group would be.
After another moment, the room fell silent again, and you were mindlessly staring at the ground. You heard the door slam shut from the other room, ending Shane's hissy fit. Finally.
"Alright," Rick said after a while, making you glance back up. He was looking at you and Daryl, nodding in your general direction as he spoke, "I would still like a guard. Daryl and [Y/N], you'll take the first shift. Andrea and T-Dog can switch off after you. You'll be able to sort out the rest."
With nothing but a curt nod, you and Daryl turned and started for the door, filing out one after the other. You didn't get very far, though.
"[Y/N]?" Turning around, you had another collision with the man behind you. Both of you stepped off to each side and passed each other quickly. God, you hated doing that.
As you passed the rest of them, you raised your eyes at Hershel, silently asking what he needed.
He walked up to you, wiping his hands still as you saw the red stain on his shirt. "I'll need you to go and stitch up his leg as soon as you can," he explained, seeming a bit urgent.
"You've got a cleaner stitch, and his wound is rough," he explained as he turned back around and led you off to a room.
You followed after him, not sure on how thrilled you were on operating on someone who could have possibly killed one of your own men. Still, Hershel didn't seem in the mood for arguing right now, and you could respect that.
Both of you walked out side to where the shed was, opening it and stepping inside quickly.
It was small, but there were many racks, but few supplied stacked up on them. That wasn't the most concerning thing though.
The bloody towels thrown in a waste basket to the side was unsettling, only because of the number of them.
Then, laying in the middle of the room on a stretcher was that same young boy. Randal. His eyes were shut, but you could tell he was breathing. With Hershel watching you, you quickly leapt into action.
Going up to the table, you looked around before your eyes landed on the small table next tot you. Thread, a needle, a wet cloth, and a bottle of vodka- courtesy of Rick.
First, you quickly threaded and wet the needle with alcohol before wetting your own hands. Then, you slipped back into your zone.
Moving over to the table, you pulled back the bandage to reveal a bloody mess underneath it. It was messy, and would be hard to fix, but manageable.
You took the bottle and poured it over the wound. Even in his sleep, he tensed. Your eyes shot up to see his face twist in pain, but his eyes never opened. God, he was young. Had to be no more than nineteen.
Setting the bottle back down, you began to stitch. Pressing the sides together as best you could, you moved the needle through cleanly and smoothing, pulling it closed when you were done and quickly tying it off.
You found yourself being glad that it was that quick. You also had to remind yourself that this boy shot at Rick and Glenn and the older man standing right next to you.
He just really didn't look like someone who would do something like this. He probably wasn't even before all of this. This world did so many horrible things to people. Made them do horrible things.
Running a cloth over the stitching, you cleaned the dirt away from the wound. After you did that, you finally straightened back up and looked over to Hershel.
He was standing in the corner with his arms crossed as his eyes shifted from you to the boy. There was a kind of emptiness in his eyes, which was evident. Moving your weight on your feet, you scratched the back of your head, speaking after an awkward silence, "You-- uh. You want me to stay with him?"
There wasn't a response from him for a while before he looked down and started for the door, "I'm going to go stay with Beth. See what I can do for her."
You nodded after that, silently watching him leave with that depressed air still hanging around him. He had already stepped out before you thought of anything to say to him.
In a sense, you felt bad for him. He thought he could cure his wife; that was something you thought you could have done with the group before you found out from Jenner that there wasn't going to be a cure.
On the other hand, you were glad that he had finally opened his eyes to the glaring danger staring him straight in the face. That would keep your group in less of a danger as well. Carl, Carol, Glenn. Your family.
Once again, your mind shifted to the boy.
Slowly, you started to turn around, eyes on the table. No matter how young he was or how harmless he looked, he was a danger to your family. He shot at them, and could have killed them. And now, you wanted nothing more than to rid this danger from your sight.
Not to kill him, though. No matter how shitty this world was, you weren't going down with it. You were still human, and killing another human would just put you on the same level as the walkers all around you.
With your eyes still on the boy, you walked over and settled yourself in a chair in the corner, pulling out your sword shortly after that.
You laid it across your lap and leaned back in the chair, never once pulling your gaze off of Randal, who still lay motionless.
Though, if something were to turn for the worse, he might not be laying like that for a while.
* * *
Hours had passed, and you were still in charge of keeping an eye on your patient. He hadn't moved much, and you were starting to catch yourself dosing off from time to time.
That was when a loud groan came from the table.
Shooting your gaze up, you watched as the figure sit up slowly. His eyes were shut tightly, and he seemed in obvious pain. Good. At least he was alive.
You didn't move from your place in that chair as he slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was you. The second thing was the large weapon resting in your lap.
His eyes shot open, wide as saucers in fear. Even better. He was afraid, so that would keep him under check if he wanted to try anything.
You decided to keep him in that same state.
Slowly, you rose out of the chair and stopped a moment, holding eye contact as you drove your sword down into the wood beneath you. He flinched a bit, breathing heavily.
Taking your hand off of the weapon that was now stuck in the ground, you slowly moved over to the table.
The young boy started to shift backwards a little bit, pushing away as you came closer. Your eyes narrowed as you glared at him.
There was a long silence as you just stood there, driving daggers into this boy with your eyes before he decided to speak. "Where am I?"
You had absolutely no intent on answering that question.
Then, reaching down to your belt, you drew out a much shorter knife. "Nononononono, please," Randal begged quietly as he started to push himself even farther back.
"We get one thing straight," you said, a threatening edge evident in your voice, "I ask the questions, and you answer them. Or..."
You raised the weapon up, leaning closer to the younger boy as you held the blade inches away from his face to prove a point.
"I will pull out every single stitch in that fucked up leg of yours, and put all eight inches of this steel into your ear," you stated, raising your eyebrows with one final word, "Understood?"
Randal, who was whimpering loudly now, nodded quickly after a few moments.
"Good," you said bluntly, sliding the weapon slowly into your belt again before backing up from leaning on the table.
Crossing your arms, you started the interrogation, "What is the last thing that you can remember?"
Randal's eyes darted around the windowless room before shaking his head and answering unsurely, "Pulling up to the bar." You raised an eyebrow, anger burning in your words, "You sure you don't remember shooting at my men?"
Randal became paranoid at you bringing that up as he shook his head and started blubbering like a baby.
Your jaw tensed up after that before you reached down and drew your weapon out of the holster and bringing the knife down inches away from the younger boys leg, "SHUT UP!"
There was a loud crying from him as he leaned back as his breathing became more ragged. He was starting to pass out again.
"Hey," you said sternly before reaching up and taking his face in one hand to make him look at you.
When he didn't respond once again, you gave him a firm slap to wake him up. His eyes shot open again as his brow furrowed before he looked over at you, almost offended, "Hey!"
Angrily, you turned and stepped away, trying to regain control of your temper. Screw what you said before. Killing him seemed like a much more open option right now.
"I don't know what you want from me, lady! I don't... I don't even know where I am for Christ's sake!" That made you the least bit relieved, just to hear that. Well, at least he said that he didn't know where he was.
Turning around, you fired a glare at him, "And it will stay that way." He let out a loud whine at that, which locked your jaw once more. The only thing that kept you from leaping forward and driving the knife through his skull was the door handle unhitching.
Looking over, you watched as Rick stepped into the room, closing the door quickly behind him. You stepped over to him quickly as well, whispering under your breath to him.
"He doesn't know where we are," you stated, turning to your side a bit before continuing, "Or at least that's what he's told me." Rick nodded slowly, "I'll take it from here [Y/N]." You nodded after that before going over and taking your sword out of the ground forcefully.
You fired one last glare over your shoulder at Randal before walking to the shed door and exiting out of it quickly. At least removing yourself from that place also removed the temptation of slitting that boy's throat in frustration.
That was when you finally got a hold of yourself again.
When you finally realized what you were thinking. You didn't want to kill him. You didn't want to become a murderer. Scare him; yes. Kill him; no. Killing was still wrong. You would never kill someone unless they were a danger to your family.
But that boy was a danger to your family. You had seen that. He had shot at your family. But killing him was still wrong. You wouldn't kill-- You blinked heavily, realizing that your method of thinking was just making you go around in circles. This was a difficult decision.
You were fighting with holding onto what little part of you that you still had from before the whole world changed. But, the world had still changed. You just didn't want to have to change with it.
No doubt in your mind that this decision would be a hard one. And, no doubt that this would just be the first of many to come.
Chapter 24: Put in Place
Chapter Text
After that, a week had passed, and Rick had kept to his word. As soon as Randal was well enough to walk, Rick wanted him out. And for good reason.
He seemed to be getting more comfortable around here. Like he thought that this was going to be some kind of permanent thing. Like he was staying with you guys. He couldn't be more wrong about that.
Also, Beth had become responsive. She was talking and sitting up and moving now, though it wasn't much.
Something definitely had changed with her, but that was more of a family affair. More so, it wasn't any of your business. What was your business was checking in on Randal.
Another thing that had happened that you hated was that he wasn't afraid of you any more.
He tried to make conversation now, and it wasn't any kind of conversation that you would want to be involved in. He tried joking with you, as if he were talking to a friend. And that was the farthest thing from you both really were.
Honestly, you really couldn't wait for him to get the hell out of here. But, that initial feeling of wanting to murder him had dialed down a bit, though he frustrated the hell out of you.
"So," he started as you finished examining his scabbed up leg, "When do I leave?" You let out a loud sigh, digging through your bag that was sitting in the corner, "Can't say."
After a while, you pulled out your mp3 player and earbuds. Rick and Shane had asked for that after they told you that they were taking him eighteen miles out and wanted to keep the trail out there as discreet as they possibly could.
Apparently, blasting music in his ears would help with that. Well, you really didn't think listening to your music would be much of a punishment. You had a fantastic taste, if you said so yourself.
"Ah, c'mon [Y/N]. Y'know you can tell me," the boy said from behind you, making you turn around in questioning and raise an eyebrow at his tone of voice. He was smiling and laughing quietly. Hell, he was trying to flirt.
You turned around fully after that, and you crossed your arms over your chest, biting the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from bursting out laughing. He actually thought.
"Yeah," you started, walking towards him slowly. Before you got to close, you chuckled hollowly and shook your head, "You are not my type." That instantly wiped the smile off of his face.
With that, you turned back around and started for the door for the shed, exiting quickly and locking the door behind you.
Once you secured it, you looked ahead of you, almost running into someone. You halted in your tracts, looking up to meet Daryl's almost nervous gaze.
"Hey," you said after a while, though it was more awkward than anything. All of your exchanges had been for these past days. No more than a few words every passing. Awkward eye contact that seem to go on for a bit longer than it should have. And now, you realized you were doing it again.
"Uh," you said, shooting your gaze down and shaking your head, "What do you need?" When you finally looked back up, you realized that Daryl was glaring over your shoulder at the shed door. You thought to yourself for a moment.
Was he listening in?
It was a while before the man before you glanced back before quickly looking down, "Shane and Rick are ready to move out. Told me they needed something from you."
It took a moment of thinking before you realized and nodded, "Oh."
Fishing into your pocket, you pulled out your mp3 player and earbuds. Daryl hummed a bit after that, shifting his gaze from you to the shed.
There was a long silence between you that was just as awkward as the ones before now. It was a while before Daryl said anything. "You think he'll make it?"
When he asked that, there was an anger in his tone. Some edge to his voice, that it was more of a challenge.
Looking over your shoulder, you thought a while before letting out a quiet sigh, "I don't know if I want him to..."
Daryl nodded after that, but his glare never left that shed behind you. You waited a while before starting to walk past the man in front of you, quickly hearing footsteps come up beside you as both of you moved quickly towards the house.
All the while you were walking there, you were racking your brain on why Daryl seemed so on the edge all of the sudden. He really didn't seem to care much about the out come of Randal. Yes, he was pissed as hell about him shooting at your group, but you were confused on why he cared if you wanted him to survive or not.
He never seemed to give a shit about other people's opinions on things like that, so the sudden concern was questionable. He never asked you if you thought that opening the barn was right. Even when you told him about you not thinking that you'd find Sophia, he still believed that he'd find her.
Then, your mind shifted over to an explanation.
Was he... Jealous?
Almost immediately after that, you chased that out of your mind. He wouldn't be jealous.
You knew Daryl more than anybody else here, and you knew that Daryl wasn't the type of person to get jealous. Especially not over you. You were just over thinking things like that.
That's all that happened when you tried to hard for an answer, so it was best just to drop the subject itself.
Besides, you had other things to focus on, like making sure that Randal had no idea where the farm was. And, if your part in that was just dropping off a pair of earbuds, then that was what you were going to do.
The both of you didn't even have to get very far before you met Rick and Shane as they met you both. You held out the small music player in your hands as Rick quickly took it out of your hands and stuffed it into his pocket.
"He's fed, completely conscious, and strong enough to walk," you informed them quickly, and Rick only replied with a nod and a fierce look in his eyes. You guessed that he couldn't wait to get rid of him as well. Shane had already passed, and Rick was quick to as well.
Even if they were both working together at this moment, you could tell that there was an even stronger gap between the both. You just assumed that the hate they had for the boy was stronger than the hate that they had for each other.
Once they were far enough away, and it was just you and Daryl once again, you decided to fill that awkward silence before other thoughts came back into mind.
"He should at least have a chance," you stated, just saying something to say something. What met you was less than what you were hoping.
Daryl scoffed, making you look over to him. You could already tell that this would be that start of something.
Daryl had his brow furrowed, looking at you as if you just said the most stupid thing he could imagine. He walked closer to you, shaking his head, "Why do you care if he lives so much?"
Your brow furrowed, shaking your head quickly as well, "Wh-- The hell are you on about now?"
Daryl scoffed again, pacing away before quickly rounding again and pointing out towards the shed, raising his voice, "He shot at our boys!" You shrugged helplessly, jaw hanging open as you looked furious.
What the hell does he want me to do!?
"So," you started, matching his volume, "What? Am I just supposed to kill him? Be no better than those things hunting us every second?"
Stalking up towards him, you pointed out to the shed as well, "He's a kid!"
Daryl stormed towards you as well, shouting in your face with a burning fire in his eyes, "You don't know what the hell you're talkin' about!" You scoffed loudly, still yelling, "Why do you care what I think?! It ain't your business! So stay the HELL OUT OF IT!"
By now, both of you were yelling at the top of your lungs at each other in the middle of the shed and the house. So, it wasn't really a surprise when you attracted some attention.
"Guys!" Both of you turned off to the side as Glenn walked up to you both, looking concerned, "What's going on?" Your expression didn't change, but you weren't about to yell at him. Daryl had other plans.
He scoffed and shook his head before stalking off in the direction of his little camp once more.
You stared daggers into his back for a while, thinking back to what you had said to Maggie before. Every time you both got close, it didn't last long. But, at the moment, you didn't hate seeing him walk away. Still, you knew you were going to.
Focusing back on Glenn, you placed your hands on your hips and looked down as you sighed, "What?" You raised your vision back up again, blank expression as you did.
Glenn seemed a bit caught by surprise at that. He opened his mouth as he pointed behind him, stuttering out something before he finally made actual words leave his mouth, "I just... You guys were... Kinda loud, so..." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged, "I just wanted to know if everything was alright."
There was a long silence between you both before you looked back down and nodded as you passed him up and started for the house.
Right now was just about when you needed space from everyone. Just to cool off and get back in the right mindset. You didn't get much time to do that, so every chance you get, you took without hesitation.
Quietly, you entered the house and made your way to the kitchen, happy to see that there was no one in there at that time.
With a small sigh, you leaned on the counter, hanging your head down as you rested your elbows on the surface and clasped your hands together. You were just waiting for it. That feeling of hate to settle in.
Well, you already felt hate. Hate towards yourself for letting yourself feel like this. That continuous pull-push relationship between you and that redneck. Completely indecisive over everything and never happy on either side.
Then, that was when that hate finally set in.
* * *
"Rick say anything to you about Glenn after they got back from town?" You shrugged at Maggie's question as you cut through a tomato, shaking your head, "Only that it had gotten pretty bad."
You glanced over at Maggie, not meeting her gaze as she cut through a raw chicken leg. After the little argument you and Daryl had, Maggie had walked in with a few things that needed to be prepared for supper.
There was nothing else to do after Shane and Rick had left with Randal. Besides, it was a chance to talk to Maggie, who was really the only sensible female besides Carol around here.
"He's not the same," she stated after a moment. She finally looked up at you after that, explaining even more, "Says he froze. Blames me. Says I got inside his head."
You sighed quietly, drying your hands off with a towel, "That's what men do. Do something or find something they don't like; blame the little woman. They got to do certain things, and we're either blamed as the reason they do it or the reason they don't."
You shook your head after that, shrugging once you realized you were rambling a bit.
Sighing once again, you looked up. "What happened out there, happened out there," you said bluntly, "And we were just back here, trying to keep everything under control until they got back." Maggie didn't seem satisfied with that.
She shook her head, starting to blame herself, "Things were good. Maybe I--" You stopped her there, popping a cucumber slice into your mouth as you spoke, "Glenn's a big boy. He makes his own choices."
You paused, scoffing as you continued, "You have anything to apologize for?"
There was a moment as you waited for Maggie to reply. Hesitantly, you watched as she shook her head. You shrugged once again after that, replying bluntly once again, "Tell him to man up and pull himself together."
Quickly after that, you corrected yourself. "Except do not say 'man up'. Never goes well," you finished with a chuckle. Maggie laughed along as well, asking innocently, "Plan on proposing that plan to Daryl anytime soon?"
At that, the smile slowly melted away from your face as Maggie laughed quietly to herself. You didn't even know why it felt so awkward to hear that, but Maggie must have seen your expression, as she stopped laughing as well.
Another uncomfortable silence hung in the air, that was only saved as you both heard the sound of the door opening. Your gaze snapped over there as Lori walked in, wiping her hands off as well.
"Hey," she said quietly to the both of you as she walked into the kitchen. You got up from leaning on the counter behind you, nodding in acknowledgement before taking the tray, "I'll go get this to Beth."
You were just about out of the kitchen before Lori came and stopped you, taking the tray of food out of your hands.
"It's okay," she said, smiling, "I got it." Not even giving you a chance to protest, she turned her back and headed off. Your hands dropped down to your sides as you let out an exhausted sigh.
It was a while before you heard Maggie say something behind you, "Did I say something?"
It snapped you out of your trance, and you were quick to shake your head in response as you turned around and faced her once again, "No, you're fine. I just..."
Mindlessly, you trailed off once again, staring out of the window as you scrambled for an answer. It was long before you realized you had trailed off again.
"N-No, I'm fine," you concluded, but it was too late. A feeling of hurt had already settled in Maggie's expression. She had just finished telling you that she felt that she was responsible for Glenn almost getting killed earlier that week. Now, you had froze again at something that she said.
Trying to put on a brave face, Maggie nodded a little and turned to walk out. You opened your mouth to say something, but he was already out before you could think of anything.
With another loud, exhausted sigh, you leaned forward on the counter again, holding your head in your hands as you closed your eyes and rubbed your face.
This wasn't the first shitty day that you had, and it wouldn't be the last either.
You figured that you were just about to leave and go do something outside until you were once again stopped.
"[Y/N]?" You turned around, seeing a frantic-looking Lori. Your brow furrowed, "What's up?"
Her eyes widened as she came up to you, "It's Beth. She says she just wants to... To give up."
You blinked heavily, shrugging, "Sounds like a family matter. Want me to get Maggie?" It was a while before she answered, shaking her head. "No," she started, "I'll find her. You just--"
Before she could finish, your eyes went to the plate in Lori's hands. Something was missing.
Pointing down, you spoke quickly and calmly, "The knife."
Once you said that, Lori's eyes only widened. You looked back up to her, still keeping a level voice, "There was a knife on that plate."
After that, there was a long moment of tense silence before you spoke as you walked past her, "I'll get it."
Without a response, you had started to make your way up the stairs. Honestly, deep down, you knew it really was Beth's choice. That didn't mean you wanted her to do it.
If she really would want to end it right there, Maggie should be there. You'd try to help Beth for Maggie's sake, though you believed what Beth was doing was extremely selfish.
You weren't about to say anything about it though. Not unless you were asked.
Still, the only thing you were trying to do was stall Beth with what she might do, no matter how successful you would be.
You gave little to no warning as you opened the door to Beth's room, eyes darting down to the bed, where Beth had her back to you.
Your eyes shifted over to the night stand, searching around it quickly for the utensil. Not there. That left really only one place where it could be.
With a quiet sigh, you leaned over the bed. "C'mon," you said, making your voice soft and level, "Just give it to me, sweetheart."
You weren't about to go on a tangent about how she didn't want to do this. Maybe she did, and if she really wanted to, you wouldn't be able to stop her.
But, eventually, Beth moved and pulled out her arm from under the covers, holding the knife limply in her hand. You took it out of your hands, letting your arm hang back to your side after that.
It really was baffling how things like this happened with people.
This innocent looking young girl was thinking of suicide, and talking about how she just wanted to give up. You still couldn't believe some of the things that this world did to people.
* * *
The arguing still hadn't stopped. In fact, it had only gotten worse.
By now, Maggie and Beth were screaming back and forth at each other, to the point where it filled the whole house. You could it hear it even before you came in. Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of the arguing that you would be hearing.
Andrea and Lori were both in the kitchen when you first left, and it didn't sound like they had left either. Actually, it had evolved into another fight, and you had come in just in times by the sound of it. The first one you really heard was Lori.
"No, she needs a loaded gun, right?" Her tone was sarcastic, and you didn't have to wait very long before hearing something else from her.
"You'll understand if I don't send you in there," she explained.
A scoff was a response from Andrea, which was just like her to do. "I came through it," she stated. "And became such a productive member of the group," Lori finished, just as sarcastic.
"Let Maggie handle this her way," Lori added, but Andrea wasn't finished. God forbid that someone ever tell her that she didn't do anything.
"I contribute! I help keep this place safe," Andrea argued, almost sounding like a child. Another scoff was Lori's only return before a long pause.
"The men can handle that on their own. They don't need your help."
"Oh, but [Y/N] gets a free pass to do what she wants?"
"Well, she's different than you."
Immediately, you knew that wouldn't fly over well with Andrea. Lori saying that was probably one of the worst things Andrea could imagine hearing. Someone else being put above her, let alone, you.
"Are you serious?! I've done just as much if not more than her! I know when to act!"
You were still standing around the corner out of their vision, and they obviously didn't know that you were right there. That was why it was so hard to fight back a laugh.
Shortly after that, Lori was quick to come to your defense. "You sit up there all day while she is out there hunting and scavenging. You're up there, working on your summer tan. You don't get to say that you're equal. Bottom line; they don't need you and you're putting a burden on the rest of us women."
You could almost see the look of anger on Andrea's face. Hell, you wanted to.
Shortly after that, you did walk out from around the corner, more so knowing that you shouldn't be eavesdropping on their conversation and things needed to get done.
You planted yourself in the doorway to the room, arms crossed over your chest. "Alright," you said, gaining both of their attention quickly.
"We don't need this. C'mon, we've got jobs to do," you said blankly, staring at both of them. "We've got better things to do," you finished before turning around and making your way for the door.
Honestly, you were done with all of the arguing and fighting going on around here.
Andrea thought you didn't take action, and you were about to prove her wrong, though you could really care less about what she had to say about you.
You just wanted everything to get done and then you'd all be able to move on to different things that were actually important. You didn't care what they were doing to do as long as it was something that would get something else done.
People don't get to just sit on one little issue these days. They need to move and prepare for the future, which meant preparing for the worst sometimes.
Regardless, you knew people needed to be ready, and you'd be the first to speak that out openly.
* * *
"Hey." You looked over your shoulder as you sat there, cleaning your sword. You lowered your weapon down a bit, stuffing the cloth you had borrowed from T in your pocket as Maggie came walking up to you, "Hey."
Honestly, you had been pretty tense for the last half hour and had run out of things to do. God knows how many laps you made around the camp, so having a conversation with Maggie seemed like an appealing idea.
You moved over on the log you were sitting on, making room for Maggie as she came to sit down.
The air around her seemed a bit dark, which you could understand. She must have been exhausted.
You furrowed your brow as you looked at her, "You okay?"
It was a while before she nodded, looking over at you. You cocked a crooked grin back before reaching over and taking her hand tightly in yours.
"I can tell," you started, pausing for a while before continuing, "Beth loves you, and that she wouldn't want to hurt you."
Now, Maggie was staring at you, and you were nodding reassuringly.
"She's just scared," you said, "We all are. And you are doing everything you can to help her, and that's exactly what she needs."
Slowly, you watched as Maggie's cheeks pulled back into a smile. You smiled back at her, gripping her hand tighter still.
"And what you need is rest," you added with a quiet chuckle. Maggie laughed back quietly, nodding, "Yeah. Andrea's in there watching Beth right now. Gave me time to think."
Instantly after that, the smile dropped from your face and your brows furrowed, "Andrea?"
Maggie nodded in response, the smile melting away from her face as well.
Slowly, you turned over your shoulder as you spoke quickly, "I just saw her walk by five minutes ago. She couldn't be..."
That was when it clicked.
Andrea wasn't going to watch her. She left Beth alone to let her choose herself, despite what she was told.
A burst of furry spread through you, and the only thing that kept you from finding her and beating the living hell out her was when Maggie shot up and booked it for the house.
Deep down, no matter how strong your anger was, if Beth's choices had turned out for the worst, you'd want to be there with your friend.
Quickly, you pushed yourself up, leaving your sword near the log as you ran across the stretch between the house and your group's camp.
Maggie burst through the screen door and ran up the stairs with you quickly behind her. It didn't take long at all to get up to Beth's room, and you saw just what you expected. More so, you didn't see what you expected.
The covers were thrown back on the bed, and Beth was no longer laying there. You and Maggie exchanged a worried glance before both of you focused your attention on the bathroom door when the sound of broken glass reached your ears.
Maggie ran forward, trying the doorknob, which didn't turn, just as you expected. Her breath became quick as she pounded on the door, turning into a panic, "Beth! Open the door!"
You looked over to the doorway of the room just as Lori ran in, looking just as worried. The both of you running upstairs would cause panic, just as you imagined.
"She's in there," you said as you went to the dresser, pulling one of the drawers out in search of a key, "We heard glass." You could also hear sobbing coming from in there as well.
Lori quickly hurried over to the door, pounding on it as well. Both of them were begging over Beth's sobs for her to unlock the door and let them in, but their pleas were in vain.
You slammed one of the drawers in frustration, speaking loudly, "Damn it, where's a key!?"
Neither of them answered, and you were wasting to much time in searching for something that was obviously not in there.
Once again, you shut the drawer and looked around before your eyes landed back on the door. An idea sprouted in your head that would be a last resort, but if Beth spent any more time in there alone, it might be too late when you finally did get find the key.
"Step back," you said sternly, making them both turn around to look at you. You backed away from the drawers and lined yourself up.
Once again, you looked over at Maggie and Lori, who both hadn't really moved. You motioned with your arm for them to step back once again, and this time, they obeyed.
"Beth," you said, bracing yourself with your vision locked on the door, "Sweetheart, get away from the door."
There was no audible response from her as the sobbing continued, but you had to trust that she was far enough away.
Quickly, you took in a long breath before stepping forward and planting your feet once more.
In one smooth motion, you raised your foot up, bringing it down heavily on the dark wood. It pained your ankle, but that was the least of your worries.
Just as you had hoped, the door swung open, hitting the wall with a loud thud.
Then, there, standing in front of you and shaking, was Beth.
She had a look of fear and regret as she held a hand over her wrist. Already, you could see the blood dripping down into her palm.
"I'm sorry," she whimpered out through sobs, tears streaming down her face. She didn't want to die, and you were going to do anything you could to prevent that from happening.
Both you and Maggie stepped forward, starting to lead her out of the bathroom and to some other room.
"She needs stitches," you explained quickly, but you could tell from the amount of blood that it wasn't fatal if you got it sewn up quick enough. She also needed her sister.
Luckily for her, she would have both of those things with her, which both would keep her alive.
* * *
"Where were you?" You watched as Maggie got up in Andrea's face, spitting through gritted teeth.
Just as you got out, you let the door slam behind you, still wiping the blood off of your hands. Beth had fallen asleep as you stitched her up, probably from the pain. Still, she needed rest more than anything.
She also needed to be far away from Andrea, and Maggie was going to make sure it stayed that way.
"I heard," Andrea aid breathily, completely ignoring the question that Maggie had just asked her, "Is she alright?" Maggie didn't take that too kindly, but answered with an even harsher tone.
"She would be if you had stayed with her," she spat, stepping forward, "Where were you?"
Andrea looked past Maggie and over her shoulder, seeming to be more concerned with her own questions instead of Maggie's. You were sure that she wasn't about to get anything out of you before she answered Maggie's question.
"How bad is she?" After Andrea asked that, you met her with nothing but a glare. It wasn't you that answered it either.
"It wasn't deep," Lori explained quietly, looking up from where she was standing.
Then, by some miracle, Andrea almost looked thrilled with herself like she had accomplished something. She smiled, looking down and nodding for a moment before speaking, "She wants to live... She made her decision."
When she gazed back up at Maggie, she got nothing but another death stare and some more harsh words.
"She tried to kill herself," Maggie yelled, to which Andrea remained calm.
Shaking her head, she replied, "No she didn't..." You scoffed, backing Maggie up, "I just finished stitching her wrist."
That earned you another glare from Andrea, like you were the irresponsible one here.
"She'll live," she stated firmly. Just after that, you watched as Andrea tried to step around Maggie who had perched herself on the stairs. Obviously, that didn't go over to well.
Maggie lowered her voice to almost a growl, moving in front of the woman trying to make her way into the house.
"Stay away from her," she ordered. Andrea looked confused and offended after that, but Maggie wasn't done. "From both of us," she added, "Don't you dare step foot inside this house again.
Honestly, that was what you had been waiting to see. Someone putting Andrea in her place.
With a curt nod after a moment of hesitation, Andrea looked down and turned before slowly starting to walk off. Your gaze followed after her with a glare, and all of you just stood around for a moment before Maggie finally decided to move.
Lori met her behind you, saying a few quiet words to her before they both went in. Unlike them, you stayed out and started looking around again.
Things were starting to fall into line again. People were growing up. They were getting used to this world and what they had to do.
Beth was learning that she needed to fight through this. From time to time, you saw Carol smiling, even if you hadn't been around her much with all of the new responsibilities that you had. Still, people were learning and adapting.
Andrea had finally been put back in her place. Now, all that was left was Shane, then you would finally feel completely safe in this place, because you knew that your family would be safe. That was all you really wanted.
Chapter 25: Running an Endless Mile
Chapter Text
~ Daryl's P.O.V. ~
The continuous blubbering and crying from the man backed up against the wall only fueled his frustration and anger.
Even before now, Daryl didn't have terrific opinions about the prisoner that they captured. But now that Randal thought he could keep shut about where he had been, he had sealed his fate as soon as Rick asked him to get information out of the kid.
Just after Daryl threw Randal down on the stool, he already gave him a firm blow, probably breaking his nose. That was for shooting at Rick and Glenn.
After that, Daryl backed away from the man who was trying to shrivel away as he cried out in pain. He must have known that this was coming to him.
Daryl paced around in front of the younger boy, glaring as his eyes stuck on him.
"Wh-What do you want from me?!?" Randal cried out again, quietly sobbing after that and looking up to the taller man.
Daryl watched silently, clenching his jaw as he saw Randal try to shy away from him.
Lunging forward, Daryl balled his fists in Randal's shirt and slammed him back onto the stool, earning him another loud and whiny cry from the boy. He was barely even started.
Not waiting long after that, Daryl barked out, "Where's your group stayin'?" His question sounded more of a hostile challenge, and it obviously intimidated Randal.
Warily, the young teen looked up at the man towering over him, slowly shrugging and shaking his head, "I-- I don't know..." Wrong answer.
Clenching his jaw again, Daryl let go of his shirt and backed away, pacing back and forth in front of him again. Randal's eyes followed him, and Daryl glared right back.
If this bastard thinks he can hold out on me...
Once again, Daryl lunged forward, swinging his fist and hitting Randal square in the jaw.
This time, it was strong enough to knock him off of the stool, and Daryl didn't even bother putting him back up there.
He backed away again but didn't wait long at all before lunging and landing another blow, which knocked the teen to the ground.
Before Randal even got a chance to look up again, Daryl had punched him again, hard enough for him to lean over and spit out a tooth. Randal was panting heavily and muffling cries as he looked over his shoulder, speaking weakly, "I... I told you..."
Still, Daryl wouldn't have any of what he had to say besides what he wanted to hear.
"You told me shit!" That's when he jumped forward, taking the teen's shirt and sitting him up, slamming him against the wall. Randal whimpered, his head hanging to the side, "I barely knew those guys! I... Met 'em on the road..."
Daryl glared down coolly, barking out again, "How many in your group?" Randal was much less eager to answer that. He just stared back for a while before, still panting as he looked down without saying anything. That was it.
Slowly, Daryl reached down, grasping his hunter's knife as he pulled it out. That immediately got Randal's attention.
"Nonononono, c'mon man!" Daryl paid no attention as he lurched forward, bringing the blade down only inches from the teen's scabbed leg.
Randal yelped in fear, trying to shy away, but there was nowhere left to go. Daryl looked up, yelling in his face now, "How many!?"
Randal stuttered and scrambled for an answer, "Uh, um-- Thirty! Thirty guys!" There. Got one thing out of him.
Daryl still glared, reaching down to the teen's bandage slowly, "Where?" Once again, Randal seemed to shut up, even though he had already started to rat out his group.
Once Daryl realized that he wasn't about to say anything regarding that with some coaxing.
Without hesitation, Daryl gripped the edges and tore the cloth away with a loud rip. An even louder scream came from Randal.
Daryl's eyes fixed on the stitching that lined the messy wound, only reminding him of when he overheard the teen talking to [Y/N]. He had no idea why, but just the way he talked to her made him furious and hate him all the more.
"I don't know! I swear!" Randal's cries were the only thing that got his focus back fully, "We were never any place more than a night!"
Slowly, Daryl raised the weapon in his hand again, pressing it down on the tender skin and in between the stitches. He sneered as he spoke, "Scoutin'? Planning on stayin' local?"
Randal started to stutter again, seeming to grow more and more panicked, "I-- I don't know! They left me behind!" Once again; wrong answer.
Daryl gazed up, glaring as he dug the knife deeper and deeper into the exposed flesh, "Ever pick off a scab before?" Randal still whined as he responded, "Come on, man! I'm tryin' to cooperate!"
Daryl ignored him, digging the knife in deeper, "Start real slow at first." He looked up after that, raising his voice as he glared at Randal. "Sooner or later you just gotta rip it off!"
That finally seemed to break him. "Okay," Randal said, sounding like he'd finally stopped fighting, "Okay..."
Even if he didn't like him very much, Daryl was impressed by how this guy was able to keep quiet for so long.
Randal started stuttering as Daryl backed the blade off, glaring at him straight on still.
"They-- They have weapons. Heavy stuff... Automatics," the teen explained, seeming to have finally calmed down a bit. That was before he looked back down at the knife in Daryl's hand. He whined and squirmed, yelling, "But I didn't do anything!"
Bullshit.
Daryl sneered again, pressing the knife back down onto the wound, "Your boys shot at my boys. Tried to take this farm. You just went along for the ride? You're tryin' to tell me that you're innocent!?"
By now, Daryl was back to yelling in Randal's face, but he didn't shy away this time. "Yes!" Daryl wasn't surprised by this answer and had to fight not to dig that knife into the boy's wound right then and there.
"These-- These people took me in," Randal started to explain, calming himself down once more, "Not just guys. A whole group of them! Men, Women. Kids too! Just like you people! Thought I'd have a better chance with them, y'know?" Even Daryl could see the sense in that.
Reluctantly, Daryl pulled the weapon back, standing up once more as he hovered over the cowering kid.
"But," he paused, panting heavily as he looked away, "We go out... Scavenge. Just the men. One night..." Daryl's eyes narrowed still as he caught the uneasiness in the boy's tone.
"We found this little campsite," he started, explaining, "Man and his two daughters. Teenagers, y'know. Real young... Real cute..."
That caught Daryl's attention as he stopped pacing around, but he didn't turn. At least, not until he heard that next part from the teenager.
"One of them kinda looked like [Y/N]."
Almost instantly, Daryl felt something snap inside of him. That made him turn around, slowly as he glared down.
He already was upset enough with him having brought up that subject, but now that he brought up her into that same conversation, he had crossed a line that he could never uncross.
Daryl got the message that Randal was silently trying to send without actually saying it.
The image of her entered his mind yet again, except this time, it was different. The image was of [Y/N] now. And just imagining what could happen to her made his stomach churn.
That only fueled the raging fair burning inside of him from what that kid had just said. Just bringing her up and showing that he had those thoughts of her. It made him want to drive that knife through his skull all the more. But Randal wasn't done.
"Their daddy had to watch while these guys... They," he trailed off after that, not wanting to finish his sentence. He looked up after a while, shaking his head, "And they didn't even kill 'em afterward! They just made him watch. As his daughters..."
He was still shaking his head, looking off after Daryl. Daryl still had a burning glare firing in his direction.
"They just... made him watch," Randal completed, finally looking back up at Daryl. That was when he saw the glare that he had.
"B-But I didn't touch those girls," he insisted, shaking his head more now, "No, I didn't--" Daryl didn't even let him finish before growling out a question.
"[Y/N]?" That was when Randal finally realized his mistake. His eyes widened as he kept shaking his head back and forth, stuttering, "Is she your--? N-No, I didn't-- I wouldn't touch her! No, I would never touch--"
Daryl didn't even care if that kid thought that [Y/N] was his girl. The only thing that he was concerned about was for making him pay for what he had just said.
Taking a running start this time, Daryl clenched his jaw and drove his foot into the soft part of the teen's stomach. Randal cried out again, doubling over on the ground in pain.
"Please," Randal whispered out hoarsely through ragged breaths, "You gotta believe me, man... I-I'm not like that!"
There was a long pause as Daryl still looked down at the shriveled teen. Nothing that he could say would make him change his mind on what he was about to do to him.
Taking another lead, Daryl lunged forward, landing another blow heavily. It only made him cry louder, silencing his pleas. But Daryl was far from done.
He wouldn't be done with Randal until he got that sicken image of what someone could do to [Y/N] out of his head. Unluckily for Randal, Daryl didn't plan on letting that go too soon.
* * *
~ Your P.O.V. ~
"So what are you gonna do?" You huffed out bluntly, crossing your arms over your chest, letting your gaze wander back behind you to the barn.
Rick and Shane had both come back, but Randal had been with them. You couldn't tell if you were happy or not to see him. It definitely wasn't what was planned out for what you all were supposed to do.
Another new thing that your group members came back with were fresh bruises and cuts, along with a broken nose. Both Rick and Shane had come back bloody, but neither of them were ready to talk about any of what happened, and now, your impatience for an answer was starting to show.
The only solution was to get some more information out of Randal, and right now, he was left to the mercy of Daryl Dixon. Whatever mercy that could be.
They had been in the barn for God knows how long, and it made you want to cringe every time you thought of the damage that Daryl could be doing to the kid. Right now, you were just trying to distract yourself with trying to get answers out of your leader.
Rick let out a quiet sigh, looking down and away from you. "We'd all feel better if we knew the plan," you explained, waiting a while before following it up with another question that needed answering, "Is there a plan?"
You almost thought that you were about to be met with backlash, but instead, someone piped up. Glenn came up beside you, shrugging, "We gonna keep him here?"
After that, Rick and Shane both exchanged a swift glance before Rick looked back and over your shoulder. "We'll now soon enough," he explained.
It was then that you finally heard some footsteps from behind you. You turned around quickly, seeing a familiar figure starting to make his way towards the group with his weapon slung over his back. That was when you saw his bloody fist.
Your jaw tightened in frustration, though you expected it. Daryl looked straight back at you as he was coming up, almost looking as if he was trying to challenge you. You turned your gaze down, staring at the ground as you placed your hands on your hips, pacing slowly away from him.
The rest of the group's attention turned to him as he parked a spot in the gathering, wasting no time in giving the feedback of the interrogation.
"Boy there's got a gang. Thirty men," he stated bluntly, "They have heavy artillery and ain't lookin' to make friends."
There was a pause as you closed your eyes, finally raising your head back up to look at him.
"They roll through here, our boys are dead," he continued, "And our women..." His eyes darted over the girls in your group, and you couldn't help but notice how his gaze lingered on you as he finished.
"They're gonna wish they were," he finished, finally taking his gaze away from you.
Another muffled sigh came from you as you started to step forward, filling in the silence, "What did you do?" His eyes came back to you before he glanced back to his fist, getting at what you were talking about.
"Had a little chat," he explained coolly, walking towards you. You held your ground, eyes trailing on his as he walked closer, veering past you quietly after that.
Once again, your eyes found the ground as you quietly made your way over to Rick, looking up at him, "So what's the plan?"
There was another long pause before Rick shrugged, letting out a long sigh, "We have no choice. He's a threat... We have to eliminate the threat." That was exactly what you expected.
You bit down heavily on your lip, bringing a hand up to rub your jaw, pacing away from him with a long exhale.
One side of you agreed with that completely. The other side knew that he was only a kid. Still, it was Rick's call, and you stood behind what he thought was right. You had no idea what to do anyway, so his call was as good as any to you.
But, other people had other plans.
"So you're just gonna kill him?!" Dale seemed shocked and appalled by what was proposed, and he wasn't about to stay quiet about it.
"It's settled," Rick stated bluntly, paying no mind to what Dale had just said, "I'll do it today." You shut your eyes, dropping your hand that covered your mouth to your hip as you lowered your vision to the ground.
You were conflicted, but it felt wrong to kill a human being. But that group was definitely a threat. You didn't want to worry about it now though.
Besides, there was a wound that needed to be tended to.
* * *
"Damn," said quietly to yourself, sighing as you closed the cabinet door. You were low on medical supplies.
You held some bandages and gauze that you had taken out of your bag, zipping it up quickly after you had gotten what you needed.
Sooner or later, you'd have to be relying on Hershel's share of that stuff. You were pretty sure that it wouldn't bother him all that much, and that it was more of you just being stubborn. Your stubbornness was really the only thing you could never see leaving you.
You quickly filled up a small flask that you had just found in some old trunk in the house under some clothes with some vodka, sliding it into your belt after that. Must have been another one of Hershel's.
Giving everything one last check over, you let out a long sigh before turning and starting out of the room you were in.
As soon as you saw the bruises and cuts on Daryl's hand, you knew that they had to be cleaned. You also knew that he wasn't going to do any of that himself.
As soon as you got out of the house and onto the porch, you saw him hunched over on a rock, checking his fist out. This triggered another quiet sigh from you as you remembered earlier.
He dealt with Randal the way he thought best fit, but he didn't need to torture him.
Besides, he was already going to be executed.
You knew more than anyone there of the number that Daryl could do on someone. Still, deep down, he was your friend, and you couldn't fight your doctor instincts. That wouldn't stop you from being pissed off at him.
Holding the medical supplies tightly in your hand, you started your trek over the long stretch of land between the both of you quickly.
Once you got closer, you realized that Daryl was talking with someone. He could have just been talking to himself, but you doubted it.
When you came around the corner of the pile of bricks, you saw Carl standing there, looking upset about something. It was only a little after that when Daryl realized that you were standing there as well.
Once he saw you, he quickly looked away again, speaking to the boy. "Go pester your old man," he said levelly, pushing himself up off the rock he was sitting on.
Carl looked down, nodding after that and walking off to go find something else to entertain himself with.
Once Carl was out of your vision, you looked back to Daryl, making eye contact with him. You really couldn't tell if you were glaring or what, but Daryl was the first to break away.
Remembering what you came here to do, you stepped forward and up to him, taking his hand without warning. You bent his fingers, getting a better look at his bloody knuckles before reaching down to your belt.
You unscrewed the cap of the flask with one hand, keeping your eyes on that instead, all the while keeping Daryl's wounded hand up.
There were no words exchanged between the both of you, and for some reason, that made you even more pissed off at him, but you kept on working.
Once you had gotten the cap off, you brought his hand closer to you and started to pour the vodka out and over Daryl's knuckles, watching the liquid foam over the cuts.
After you were done with that, you slid the flask back into your belt and moved on to bandaging his hand.
Taking the supplies out of your pocket, you laid the gauze over the row of wounds before lightly pressing down.
When you did that, Daryl's grip tightened on your hand in the slightest, causing you to pause for a while.
You knew it was instinctual reaction to pain, but it still made you stop, realizing that this was only really wasting time shortly after. Besides, you were still pissed off.
You started wrapping the wound tightly and finishing before too long. You were quick to drop his hand after that.
Shoving the rest of the supplies in your pocket, you let out a sigh, staying where you were standing. You were thinking for a while, staring at the ground. It was only when you looked up and saw Daryl go right back to his stuff without saying a word.
At that point, you couldn't hold back a scoff. That caught Daryl's attention as he turned over his shoulder, looking at you.
You returned it with a sarcastic shrug stepping closer to him once again, "Get what you wanted? Approval? Thanks?"
By now, Daryl was glaring at you through narrowed eyes. There was a long pause, only filled by the sound of distant rumbling thunder.
Instead of backing down or shying away, you crossed your arms over your chest and shrugged, "Couldn't hit me so you beat up a kid. Is that who you are now?"
Daryl looked away from you, shaking his head as he stared at his fists, "He ain't no kid." After that, he looked back up without so much of a glare than before as he continued, "He'd do a lot more than hittin' you if you gave him a chance."
That seemed to piss you off even more. He saw you cry once, and now he didn't think that you could protect yourself. People had been treating you and your aunt like you had got off the deep end ever since you lost Sophia.
"That isn't what this is about," you snapped back, stepping forward, "And you know it."
The glare returned back to Daryl's face as he shook his head, coming closer to you now, "What do you want me to do? Huh?" You stood your ground, not backing down, though he scoffed and walked away from you after that, firing one last remark to you, "I don't need this..."
"Don't pretend like you don't care then," you said blankly, hardly realizing what you actually had said.
You shook your head after that, letting out a cold chuckle, "Or stop pretending to, one or the other, because I'm tired of you giving a shit about something and then letting us down. You don't get to just leave like that. Just throw your hands in the air and decide you're done."
There was a long pause between the two of you as Daryl silently glared back. You began to shake your head again, speaking harshly, "You want your friendship back? Take it. I don't care. I've lost worse. But don't just sit back here and hide."
With that, you whipped around and left, biting down on the inside of your cheek hard.
You didn't even care about what you said. You didn't care that it might have been a lie because you did care if you lost that friendship or whatever it was that the two of you had. You just didn't want to lose him, no matter if you admitted it or not.
Still, whatever you did, you only seemed to drive him away.
Overall, you were just tired of him either not caring or pretending to care, because you couldn't deny that you cared about him, and it would hurt to think he cared about you when he really didn't.
* * *
~ Daryl's P.O.V. ~
For the past few hours, Daryl was almost unable to think about anything else besides the conversation that him and [Y/N] had earlier. More so, why it was bothering him so much.
He thought about how she told him that she didn't care about their friendship, and Daryl would have liked to have been able to say the same.
Still, no matter how much he thought about it, he wasn't able to properly tell himself that he didn't care either. So he just tried to think about other things instead of her.
Daryl had his crossbow propped up against a large stone, loading some arrows into the quiver beneath the limb. It really was the only thing he had left to do on his own now to occupy his mind, even if it really didn't work too well.
The only time he looked up from doing that was when he heard footsteps approaching his camp.
Looking up, he caught sight of Dale, who was making his way towards him with his rifle slung over his back.
Once he saw him, Daryl scoffed and looked back down, "Whole point of me coming up here is to get away from you people." Dale hummed in response, "Gonna take more than this."
There was a pause before Daryl spoke up again, continuing to load up his crossbow, "Who sent you?" He turned over his shoulder, looking at the older man who was shaking his head.
"The group's concerned about the new role you're taking," he explained. With another scoff, Daryl worked on his weapon again.
"I don't need my head shrunk," he said blankly, pausing a while. He waited another moment before continuing, sure of what he was saying.
"This group's broken." There was no response from Dale after that, and Daryl felt satisfied in shutting him up.
"I'm better off fending for myself," he added, just as sure as before. Finally running out of places to put his arrows, Daryl stood up and looked back at Dale. He looked mortified almost.
"You act like you don't care," he stated.
Where have I heard that before?
"Yeah," Daryl replied, taking his jacket with the angel wings stitched on the back off of a hook and slipped it on, "Cause I don't."
As he was adjusting it, Dale spoke up after a while, not letting it drop. "So live or die, you don't care what happens to Randal?"
Turning back around, Daryl reached down, hooking up his bow, "Nope." Dale immediately saw this as an opportunity to plead his case. He shrugged, holding out his arms, "Then why not stand with me, try to save the kid's life, if it really doesn't matter one way or the other?"
Daryl let out a short chuckle, pulling his jacket tighter over his shoulders, "Didn't peg you for a desperate son of a bitch." Dale shook his head, "Your opinion makes a difference."
Daryl looked back down to the ground, hoisting his crossbow up on his shoulder, "Ain't nobody lookin' at me for nothin'." Starting to walk away, Daryl hoped that this would put an end to the argument and Dale would get the hint to leave him alone.
"[Y/N] is! And I am right now," Dale insisted, making Daryl turn around, giving the older man a glare.
Dale saw nothing wrong with this as he continued, "And, obviously, you have Rick's ear."
Daryl narrowed his eyes, charging back towards Dale slowly, "Rick just looks to Shane... Let him." There was a long pause before Daryl shook his head, continuing.
"And [Y/N]," he started, pausing, "She doesn't give a shit."
Once again, he tried to start off, hoping that Dale would stay quiet this time. "You know that isn't true," Dale shouted, making Daryl halt in his tracks and turn around, ready to prove him wrong.
"She cares about what you think, Daryl! And you cared about what happened to Sophia," the older man insisted, "[Y/N] knows you're a good man."
There was a long pause after that, and Daryl couldn't think of a single thing to say, but Dale continued on, pointing at the redneck. "And she just might care about you more than you realize," he finished.
Daryl glanced back down to the ground, staying in his place. He knew that wasn't true, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. Maybe it was because he wished that it was true.
Almost as soon as he thought about that, he drove away from his thoughts, facing the reality of what [Y/N] really thought.
Now, Dale was shaking his head well, looking unbelieving as he started again, "But torturing people? That isn't you! You're a decent man! So is Rick."
Daryl started to walk closer, letting the elder continue. "But Shane," he added warily, cocking a thumb over his shoulder, "He's different." Daryl charged forward again, "Why's that? 'Cause he killed Otis?"
Immediately, Daryl saw Dale's expression melt away as he stepped closer as well, "He tell you that?" Daryl shrugged, "He told some story about how Otis covered him, saved his ass. He showed up with a dead guy's gun."
Dale's surprised expression didn't change after that. "Rick ain't stupid," Daryl added, shaking his head, "If he didn't figure out it's cause he didn't wanna."
Now, Daryl realized that he finally may have shut Dale up, as the old man's lost expression traveled to the ground.
Shaking his head once again, Daryl turned around and started off again, trusting that he wouldn't be stopped this time. "It's like I said," he fired over his shoulder as he got farther and farther away. "Group's broken."
* * *
~ Your P.O.V. ~
All the rest of the day until sunset, you had been out with Hershel, bringing in the steer that had broken through the fence. It had taken the whole day, and there were still a few that you haven't found.
Hershel pardoned you from that, letting T-Dog take over for you. You were tired, but you were also using that as a distraction. The next thing that you could think of doing was just going around in another patrol around the barn.
You had been making your laps around there, but there really was nothing to see. You had been cutting out a large part of the property.
Not wanting to be too close, and understanding that he wanted to be left alone, you cut across the field to avoid Daryl's camp. Though, whenever you looked over at his spot, he didn't seem to be there.
You wouldn't want to challenge that observation though, he had snuck up on you enough times.
Concluding that there wasn't any point in staying out and making the rounds, you figured that you would just head back and check if there was anything else that needed to be done around the camp. There was nothing better to do anyway. Hell, at this point, you'd gladly do laundry.
Just as you were about to start heading back, a few sticks snapped behind you.
Turning around, you placed your hand on your sword handle, starting to slowly pull it out. There were a number of things that this could be. A walker. An animal. Another member of Randal's group.
Unafraid, you held your ground, speaking loudly, "Step into the light. Right now."
There was a moment of silence, and you had become pretty sure that it might have only been an animal.
Just as you were about to step in there yourself, a bush rustled, causing you to draw your sword and bring it to ready. You weren't in the best mood at the moment, and if this was another threat, it wouldn't have the best of ends.
You stepped closer, preparing to drive your weapon into whatever was about to exit those bushes.
The figure left its cover in the plants, and your sword was raised, but you stopped yourself quickly when you realized what it was. Your brow furrowed in confusion as what you were about to attack stared back at you with fear burning in its eyes.
"The hell were you doing out there?" Carl lowered his hands down from trying to block himself as you slid your weapon back into its holster in your belt.
"I was just," he trailed off after that, looking back up at you with still some fear in his eyes, "I was just walking." You still furrowed your brow as you stepped forward, hooking your thumbs in your belt, "Alone?"
It wasn't even a second after before Carl followed up, "Please don't tell my parents!"
You had to hold back rolling your eyes as you stepped forward, placing a hand on the smaller boy's shoulder and looking at his shirt. It was smudged with dirt and dried mud. "What happened?"
It was a while before Carl finally answered quietly, "I tripped and fell." After that, you sighed and looked up at his face again, placing your hands on your hips, "Why did you go out alone? You know that your dad--"
He cut you off again, worriedly asking you, "You won't tell my parents, will you?"
Once again, you let out a sigh, staring back at him sternly, "As long as you don't go out alone again. You could get yourself killed."
After that, Carl looked down in shame, making you sigh quietly. "C'mon," you said as you knocked the brim of his hat up, "Let's get back."
The both of you walked back to the house silently, but Carl seemed to be in better spirits than before. You could credit that to the fact that he didn't think that he would get into any trouble for what he had done.
As you both got back to the house, you saw Rick on the porch. "Good," he said as he saw you, starting for the door, "I was just waiting for you." You knew what was happening now.
Dale had insisted that they needed to take a vote or at least another look at the decision of what to do with Randal.
Dale had been trying to talk to you all day, trying to get you on his side of the matter. You admitted that you didn't like the idea of killing another human, but you had also made it clear that you stood behind Rick and whatever he was going to do.
Besides, your family meant more than anything, and you would eliminate any danger that stood in their way, no matter if it was just a walker or a whole parade of people with guns to their heads.
"Let's gather up," he said, going into the house.
You nodded after that, gripping Carl's shoulder and stopping him. You looked directly in his eyes, being as stern as you were before, "I want you to go and stay with Jimmy."
Carl looked past you and to his mother, almost looking for help, and then back at you, "But... I-- I wanna listen." You opened your mouth again, but Lori beat you to it.
"Listen to her, Carl," she said firmly before going into the house. There was a moment of silence between you as Carl let out a frustrated sigh.
"C'mon," you said, gripping his shoulder and leading him inside. Once you got to the living room, you saw the whole group gathered there, minus Beth and Jimmy, who were staying upstairs together. Then, your eyes caught someone else's quickly.
Daryl looked over at you, and you looked back at him. Both of you just stared at each other for a while, tension hanging heavily in the air from both sides. You really didn't expect him to be there, and you really didn't know if you were happy to see him or not.
Once you got back to reality, you looked down beside you and to Carl, who was still standing there. You spoke very quietly to him, dropping your hand from his shoulder, "Go on..."
He looked up at you and opened his mouth, ready to argue. Before you could get a word out, you fired a look down to him, which made him instantly shut his mouth again, glancing back down to the ground before going and walking upstairs.
With that, you turned back to the ground, slowly taking a place on the wall next to Daryl. Rick nodded to you after that, ready to start the meeting.
Everyone seemed to be nervous, except for Shane and Daryl. They just looked like they could care less about what would happen to the kid. It really wasn't anything you didn't expect.
Unlike them, Dale was nervously fiddling with his hat in his hands, glancing from one side of the room to the next frequently, reading everyone's expression.
Overall, no one looked like they were in a hurry to be the first one to start talking, which you could understand.
Finally, Glenn started, making a brave move to get the ball rolling. "So, how are we gonna do this? Just take a vote?" You itched the top of your head, shrugging and piping up, "Does it have to be unanimous?"
Lori was quick to follow up after you, "How about majority rules?" Seeing that things were getting away from him, Rick held up a hand and started speaking, "Well, let's just see where everybody stands. Then we can talk through the options." You could agree with that.
You went back to leaning on the wall, quickly glancing over at Daryl. Just as you did, you received a look back.
By now, Shane had started talking, but you really didn't pay much attention to that now. You just looked back at Daryl, silently thinking as you did.
As you looked at him, you couldn't read a single thing in his expression as he stared back at you. God, you wanted to say something. Anything just to get you back on track with him. But you didn't know why you were making such a big fuss about this with yourself.
From what you could see, there wasn't a speck of hostility in his gaze, but it was still unreadable.
After a few moments, you blinked and glanced back down to the ground before turning your gaze back to the people in the living room.
"There's only one way of moving forward," Shane finished his statement, to which Dale fired back, thus starting the conflict that you all knew would happen.
He turned to Shane, raising his voice harshly, "Killing him? Right? Why even bother to take a vote, it's clear which way the wind is blowing."
Rick replied calmly, crossing his arms and shrugging, "If people believe that we should spare him, I wanna know."
Dale scoffed in response, shaking his head, "Well, I can tell you it's a small group... Maybe just me and Glenn." You would have just waited for them to move on if you hadn't caught the look Glenn had, which told you that he was less obliged to stand on Dale's side. You weren't the only one to see it either.
When Dale saw his look of shame, his expression instantly melted into one of disappointment.
Glenn took in a long exhale before speaking quickly and unsurely, "I-- I think you're pretty much right about everything all the time, but this--"
Glenn didn't get to finish before Dale stepped forward and raised his voice over the younger man's. "They've got you scared," he stated, gesturing out to all of you.
Glenn stuttered, shrugging and fighting back, "He's not one of us! And... We've lost too many people already." You nodded after that, realizing that your friend obviously wasn't too happy about fighting with Dale.
"He's right," you said, earning Dale's and the group's attention.
"It's too big of a risk, and we've made too many of those already. Sooner or later, one's gonna come back and bite us in the ass, and this just might be the one," you finished, staring back at Dale.
He looked away from you, lost for a while and searching for his next victim to put on the spot. His gaze landed on Maggie's family. He gestured to them, "How do you feel about this?"
Maggie visibly sighed, glancing back over to Rick and shrugging, "Couldn't we continue keeping prisoner?" Your vision turned to the side as the man beside you spoke.
"It's just another mouth to feed," Daryl said, bleakly.
You agreed with that, now that the nights were getting colder and supplies were running low as it was. "It could be a lean winter," Hershel added quietly, followed by Lori. "We could ration better," she said.
Still, Dale wasn't satisfied. "He could be an asset," he proposed, "Give him a chance to prove himself."
Glenn shrugged, "Put him to work?" Even if there were people supporting that idea, Rick was quick to shut it down again. "We're not letting him walk around," he stated. "We could put an escort on him," Maggie said.
Shane scoffed from the corner, "Who's gonna volunteer for that duty?" Dale stepped towards him, pointing at himself, "I will."
Once again, Rick saw that this was all getting away from him. He held up a hand, silencing them both, "I don't think anyone should be walking around with this guy."
Lori nodded from the doorway, "Yeah, I wouldn't feel safe unless he was tied up." Andrea shook her head, putting herself in the mix, "We can't exactly put chains around his ankles and sentence him to hard labor." You could at least agree with that.
"Look," Shane started, "Say we let him join us, right? Maybe he's helpful. Maybe he's nice ... We let our guard down and maybe he runs off, brings back his thirty men..."
That only seemed to fuel the fire in Dale even more as he began to yell, "So the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime that he may never even attempt!?"
He backed away again, shaking his head hopelessly as he scanned the room, "If we do this, we're saying there is no hope. Rule of law is dead. There is no civilization." Shane rolled his eyes, muttering something as he brushed a hand over the top of his head.
There was a long while were no one spoke before Hershel did, "Could you drive him out further? Leave him like you planned?" Lori was quick to put that plan to rest, "You barely came back last time... There are walkers, you could break down. You could get lost."
Once again, you looked back over to the man beside you as he added on, "Or get ambushed." You could agree with that, nodding and speaking up again, "They're right. We should not put our own people at risk."
Then, a frail voice came and spoke up. Patricia looked up at Rick, "If you go through with it, how would you do it? Would he suffer?" Rick looked at Shane, waiting to see what he had to say.
"We could hang him," he said, shrugging, "Snap his neck." Rick nodded after that, turning down to the floor, "I thought about that. Shooting may be more humane." You watched T-Dog nod, turning to Shane, "And what about the body?"
Shane opened his mouth to continue, but Dale beat him to the rush.
"Hold on, hold on," he yelled, raising his hands, "You're talking about this like it's already decided!"
A sigh came from you, not even turning when Daryl spoke up once again, "We've been talkin' all day. Goin' around in circles. You just wanna go around in circles again?"
Dale raised his voice even more, "This is a young man's life! And it is worth more than a five-minute conversation! Is this what it's come to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with them?" He came forward again, pointing at Rick, "You saved him! And now look at us... He's been tortured! He's-- He's gonna be executed.
You brought a hand up, rubbing your face and holding another sigh back.
Dale scoffed, "How are we any better than the people that we're so afraid of?"
You rubbed your face even more before letting your hands back down. "We all know what needs to be done," Shane said.
"No," Rick replied back, "Dale is right. We can't leave any stone unturned here. We have a responsibility--"
He was cut off again, but this time by Andrea, "So what's the other solution?"
Your gaze shot over, snapping back at her, "Let Rick finish."
She ignored you without so much as a scowl. "We haven't come with a single viable option yet. I wish we could--" Again, cut off by Dale. He shouted over everyone starting to yell, "So let's work on it!"
Then, out of no were, you heard your aunt speak up.
"Stop it," Carol said, "Just stop it. I'm sick of all this arguing and fighting! I didn't ask for this... You can't ask us to decide something like this."
She looked at Rick helplessly, "Please decide. Either of you, both of you, but leave me out." There was a silence after that that Dale was quick to fill.
He had a sick smile on his face, pointing at your aunt, "Not speaking out, or killing him yourself... There's no difference!"
That sent off a spark in you, making you get up off of the wall.
"Don't you put this on her," you defended, earning his attention. Dale looked back at you, shaking his head, "She's not speaking out, and that--" You cut him off, walking forward, "Yeah, well, I'm speaking out right now and calling you on your bullshit. You leave her alone!"
Rick got in between the both of you at that, stopping the fight before it could continue, though you still glared at the old man.
"All right," your leader said, looking at the both of you, "That's enough." He stepped back after that, and you went back to leaning on the wall.
"Anyone who wants the floor before we make a final decision has the chance," Rick said. Not a word was spoken. That was until Dale opened his big mouth again.
"You once said," he pointed at Rick, "that we don't kill the living."
That struck up a memory from the past as you snuck a glance to Daryl. It brought up Jim, and it brought up when you first came to the group. And, just as you looked at him, Daryl looked back. It was a little thing, but it was there, and you both remembered it.
"That was before the living tried to kill us," Rick said. Dale continued, "But don't you see? If we do this, the people that we were-- the world that we knew is dead! And this new world is ugly! It's harsh, it's survival of the fittest! That's a world I don't wanna live in, and I don't believe that any of you do. I can't. Please... Let's just do what's right!"
By now, Dale's voice was breaking, "Isn't there anyone who's gonna stand with me...?"
Silence engulfed the group, and no one came forward for a while. Everyone just hung their head's. "He's right."
You glanced to the other side of the room when you heard that from Andrea. "We should try to find another way," she said. Rick nodded, looking around, "Anyone else?" Dale was less lucky that time.
No one stepped forward or said anything as he nervously fiddled with his hat still. He let out a cold chuckle after a moment, shrugging, "Are y'all gonna watch too..? No... You're all gonna hide in your tents and try to forget that we're slaughtering a human being."
* * *
Rick had asked you to accompany him in the execution. You thought about saying no. You said yes. You weren't even sure why. Maybe it was because he thought that you two had gotten close, and you would provide him some comfort. That wouldn't happen.
Still, he wanted you to be there, so you would be there.
You were accompanied by Shane, who you assumed would have been there. Daryl also came with you. He was dragging Randal alongside the group as he cried and blubbered. You just tried to ignore it and keep your mind on the fact that you were keeping your family and group safe.
A lantern hung in your hand, lighting the path ahead of you all as you made your way to the barn. All the while, Randal was trying to get answers.
"[Y/N]? [Y/N], don't let them kill me, please!" He continued on with that, but you didn't say a word as you continued on, but it bothered you, and Daryl really didn't like it much either.
"Stop talkin'," you heard him say sternly, pulling him away and to the other side of the small group that was walking.
If you were being honest with yourself, you didn't want to do this, but you knew that this was the only way to secure your group's safety. "Hold on," Randal said quietly, realizing where they were going, "Hold on, hold on!"
You could hear him trying to fight with the man holding him, but you knew who would win that fight easily.
When they got up to it, Shane burst through the door and led the rest of you in. You went over and hung the lantern up on a hook on the wall before stopping and turning around.
"Wait," Randal said, limping as fast as he could along Daryl's side. Rick pointed to the center of the barn, "Put him there."
Daryl obeyed, dragging him over and holding him in place. You stepped forward, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at Randal, who looked like a deer in the headlights.
Shane took over, trying to get the blindfold around his eyes. Randal looked at you, helpless. "Shh," you said quietly, "It's all gonna be over soon... Just be quiet..." Randal's eyes widened just before they were covered with the cloth as he asked barely above a whisper, "What?"
He was trying to fight with Shane, who still had his arms hooked around the teen. When Randal realized that it was hopeless, he began to cry again.
Your eyes were on Rick, who stepped in front of Randal, who had now finally been blindfolded. Shane backed away from the teen, leaving him in the center of you all. He looked like he was barely able to stand.
His crying was the only thing to be heard for a while, leaving you to your thoughts. You had never witnessed an execution before. You had never killed anyone. You had never seen anyone get killed by another person, except for on TV. This was so different from that.
You gripped your arms as you shifted your gaze from Rick to the teen over and over. Rick checked the barrel of his gun, speaking unsurely, "Would you like to stand or kneel?"
There was no audible answer from Randal as he still sobbed, looking as if he was about to collapse any second now.
When Rick didn't get an answer, Daryl stepped up and kicked in the back of his wounded leg, causing him to cry and drop to the ground. He dug his fingers into Randal's hair and pulled his head up after that.
As soon as Daryl turned back around, you glared. He was just about to be executed, and Daryl was still torturing him. It was superfluous.
Now with that settled, you watched as Rick gave Shane an uneasy look. Shane nodded reassuringly. Rick seemed to accept that as he turned back to Randal. "Do you have any final words?" You brought a hand up, covering your mouth as you watched.
All you could hear was Randal blubbering and sobbing still, and when you opened your eyes, you saw him rocking back and forth on his knees.
"Please... Don't," he cried quietly, shaking violently. Rick slowly raised his gun up, inches away from Randal's head. He cocked it.
You didn't shut your eyes this time as you stared down at the man on the ground ahead of you. You forced yourself to only think about how this was keeping your group safe. That was all.
You were lost in your thoughts, just waiting to hear the gunshot ring out. Just waiting. But the noise that did reach your ears was nothing like a gunshot. Maybe it was worse.
"Do it, Dad."
You whirled around after that, looking at the open doors of the barn and completely forgetting about the kid in the middle of the barn.
Carl stood there, alone, looking at his dad.
"Do it," he repeated. You couldn't tell what you were more upset by; him being there, or what he was saying. You were snapped out of your trance when Shane shot past you, going for Carl angrily.
He muttered sternly, gripping Carl's small arm in his hand when he came up to him, "What did I tell you? What did I say to you!?" You were so busy looking at Carl and falling back to reality that the next couple words from Rick were even more of a surprise.
"Take him away." You turned over your shoulder once again after that, catching as Rick looked at Daryl, who came up and took Randal by the back of his shirt again, lifting him up and starting to drag him away already, "Get up." You watched silently as they walked past you, turning back to Rick after that.
He glanced back at you after that, looking down to the ground. You let out a brief sigh before hearing the barn doors slam again.
Both Shane and Daryl had left, leaving only you, Rick and Carl. There were no words as you gazed at the kid, crossing your arms over your chest again.
With a sigh, you started walking, making your way past Carl silently, though he looked up at you. Rick was quick to follow you after that, along with Carl, though neither of them said anything.
You couldn't think of anything to say as you thought of how the group might react to them hearing that they were keeping Randal alive. You knew at least Dale would be happy with that.
It didn't take either of you very long to get back to your camp. Everyone was sitting around the fire with the flames illuminating their faces with a soft orange glow. The air there was just as tense as the air left in the barn.
Everyone looked at you for an answer as to what happened, but you just stared back at them and let Rick explain. Lori came up to him, looking worriedly from her kid to him.
"We're keeping him in custody," he said, "For now." You saw mixed responses from everyone there, and no one said anything until Andrea stood up with a smile.
"I'm gonna find Dale," she said, walking past you and out into the misty night. You nodded, looking down. When you finally lifted your head up again, you caught Carol's soft smile, but you couldn't force yourself to smile back.
Feelings just battled with themselves inside of you, and you couldn't decipher which for which.
Eventually, feeling that you needed space took over, and you quietly turned away and walked out towards the open air of the night.
There really was no objective instead of just needing some time to think about stuff and relax. You couldn't even seem to distract yourself from Randal, and that there was still a threat in your group. You couldn't distract yourself from the fact that you were almost relieved in some way.
Still, there were threats all around you these days. What difference would this one kid--
In the middle of your thoughts, you were cut off by a horrid noise stretching across the plain.
Terrified screaming made your heart stop painfully in it's tracts and whirl around, trying to find the source. Then, your vision locked on someone being taken down to the ground with a walker latched onto them. That was when you made another chilling realization.
Dale was the one screaming at the top of his lungs, and Dale was the one being attacked.
That was when you kicked into gear, yelling at the top of your lungs as you started to sprint across the distance that separated you two. "DALE!"
As you started to run, you ripped the knife you had out of it's holster, holding it tightly in your hand that swung at your side. You were quite a long distance away from him, but you didn't care. You would get to him. You just feared that you'd get there too late.
You heard other people's screams from around you, but you couldn't pull any distinct words from them. You were too focused on getting your legs to move and carry you faster, arms pumping at you sides, but the distance between the both of you only seemed to be getting farther and farther, like running some endless mile.
But you wouldn't let this man go. You had lost too many people already.
Then, you heard something else, which made your blood run cold in your veins.
Dale's screams of horror turned into screams of pure agony.
Though you wanted to scream out again, you couldn't find the strength. You just kept running.
Finally, you saw the two figures on the ground in front of you. You saw the monster attacking your friend.
With one last burst of energy, you threw yourself at the walker, wrapping your arms around it and ripping it off of Dale, who was still crying out.
Gaining the higher ground, you pinned the walker down as you raised the weapon up and over your head. Without another moment of hesitation, you drove the blade down heavily into the creature's skull right between the eyes, cracking it down the middle.
Instantly after that, it fell limp, silencing its snarls. That was when you finally had the opportunity to get to Dale.
Scrambling over, you leaned over Dale, but when you looked at him, you wished that you never would have seen what was laying right before you.
His insides were ripped out, leaving a gaping hole in his stomach as blood pooled freely in the center.
Other yells echoed across the field, and you knew that you wouldn't be able to treat this alone.
Standing up, you waved your hands over your head, signaling over the bobbing lights that were scanning over the long stretch of land before you.
"HEY! OVER HERE! HELP! RUN!" After that, you went back down to your knees, placing one hand on Dale's heaving chest and one cupping his cheek, making him look at you as you whispered.
"C'mon, hold on," you begged quietly, though he only coughed and gurgled the blood rising in his throat.
"[Y/N]!"
You picked that voice out, only because of how close it was.
Snapping your vision up, you saw Daryl coming from a separate direction. He sounded panicked and frantic as he sprinted in your direction. Honestly, if you hadn't been comforting a man in his last possible moments, you would have stood up and ran to him.
Starting to straighten up, you were about to call out to him again, but he was already there. You were about to kneel back down, thinking that Daryl was going to pull to a stop in front of, but you realized he didn't stop.
Instead of stopping, he shot forward towards you, catching you in surprise. He suddenly wrapped you in his arms, pulling you away from the man on the ground and sending you both tumbling through the tall grass together. He kept his arms tightly around you as you clung to him in surprise.
During that split second of you both falling back, you briefly forgot about what had just happened and why you both were there.
That moment that he held you in his arms, and you were holding onto him filled you with so much relief. He was back with you, and you both were the same again.
But you were being selfish, because there was something else that needed to be taken care of.
Eventually, the both of you stopped, and Daryl was quick to sit up, bringing you up alongside him. He scanned over your face wildly, clutching both of your shoulder, "Are you okay?! Did it get you?!"
Quickly, you shook your head, breathing heavily as you still clutched his shirt, looking over his shoulder and at the man on the ground. He must have thought that Dale was the walker.
"Daryl..." Realizing that you were looking over his shoulder, and he did the same.
When he saw the sight behind you both, you felt him tense. He turned back around, helping you up with him hurriedly.
Rick was leaning over him, holding one side of his face. You rushed back to Dale's side, kneeling opposite of Rick as he whispered to Dale, trying to keep the wounded man conscious while he tried to figure out what to do. "GET HERSHEL!"
Rick turned over his shoulder, screaming to the people behind them as they all came up. This was really when you saw how bad of a shape Dale was in. How hopeless this was.
You let out a quiet, shaky breath, looking up when Rick turned back to you. "[Y/N], we're gonna have to operate--" Rick was cut off as Hershel ran up behind him, leaning over Dale, "What happened?!"
Even though you pretty much knew that the operation was pointless, you rolled up our sleeves, trying to map out what you could do to keep this man alive. Thing was, you couldn't think of a single thing.
Meanwhile, Dale was still writhing out on the ground, gurgling and moaning as if it was already too late.
"Can we move him?" Rick's voice was shaky and pleading, hoping for the best. Hershel slowly shook his head, "He won't make the trip..."
By now, you had caught on that Dale was just too far gone. But, Rick was still trying.
"Okay," he started quickly, looking down at you, "We're gonna have to do the operation here. Glenn, get back--"
Once again, Rick was cut off by Hershel as he placed a heavy hand on Rick shoulder. "Rick..." He turned over, gazing at Hershel, who could only muster out a sigh.
After that, he looked at you. You were slumped over, kneeling on the ground still and making eye contact before slowly shaking your head. It was too late.
Rick almost instantly seemed to snap as he whirled around, screaming, "NO!"
Then, one by one, you heard people breaking out into sobs. You just stayed there on the ground for a while before slowly pushing yourself up and staggering back and away from the dying man, not knowing what else to do. You didn't get there in time, and that was all you could think about.
As you blindly stumbled back, you bumped into something, which gently grabbed your arm and turned you around.
"Hey," Daryl said quietly, furrowing his brow. You shook your head, not even looking up at him as you spoke quietly, "I didn't get... I didn't get there in..."
Daryl cut you off abruptly, doing something you didn't think he'd ever do.
"Hey," he said quietly again as he wrapped one arm around you, pulling you in close to him. You pressed against his chest, unable to keep yourself from hearing the man behind you.
Slowly, you raised an arm up, trying to pull yourself even closer to the man holding you and trying to block out those horrid noises.
He clutched you tighter for a moment before letting his arm fall down. You let your grip loose too, not even turning as he walked past you. You slowly moved yourself to look back, catching just as Rick pulled out his revolver from his belt, knowing hat he'd have to do.
"He's suffering," Andrea said through sobs, looking up at Rick, "Do something!" You knew that he was trying. And you also knew that it was killing him to have to.
Eventually, Rick weakly raised the gun up, holding it just about the old man's head as it wavered in his shaking hands. You were just now waiting for the shot and for Dale's cries to be put at rest. But Rick couldn't seem to pull the trigger.
His arm fell down as he just stared. That was when another figure stepped into the picture.
Daryl slowly moved closer to his friend, reaching out for the weapon slowly and taking it out of Rick's hand, which he didn't seem to fight at all. He just let Daryl take over for him, because he knew he could trust him with that.
No matter how horrid you felt about some putting down one of your fellow group mates, you knew that this was the right thing to do, and that you were putting him out of his misery.
You blinked, shutting your eyes tightly as you hung your head, letting your shoulders drop as you crossed your arms over your chest, gripping your own arms and just waiting to hear what you knew was coming.
Just before, something else reached your ears. "Sorry, brother," Daryl said gruffly, then it happened.
BANG. Silence.
Chapter 26: Growing Embers
Chapter Text
No one slept that night. No one spoke more than two words to each other. The loss that you had all taken numbed the group and everyone was still grieving just as heavily the morning after. People were still just as silent after as well.
You had been up all night, digging an extra grave and helping to dress the gaping wound in the center of the deceased man's torso.
You were layering bandage upon bandage to stop the thick liquid from soaking through and staining the nice suit that Hershel had given to you to dress him before he was buried. Still, you had no clue on what you were supposed to do.
Every second you looked at him, an immense wave of guilt washed over you. You had been put on border search after border search to protect you and your family, but this walker got past you. You didn't know if you'd ever be able to forgive yourself for that.
But, you dressed the wound and cleaned him up, dressing him in the Sunday suit after that, and you never saw him look more peaceful. You moved a hand over his face, shutting his eyes before walking out of the shed to go get Rick and tell him that he was ready. You didn't have to look very hard for him.
Once he saw you exit the shed, he got up and came over to you, along with his wife. They both looked at you with solemn eyes, and you replied quietly, "He's ready."
Rick looked down after that, nodding, and Lori still looked like she was fighting not to cry.
"I'll get the truck," you said quietly, walking past him and towards where the blue pickup was parked. On your walk there, you were intercepted by your aunt, who came jogging up to you.
You stopped, turning to her and shoving your hands in your pockets before gazing at the ground in front of you, "Yeah?" There was no answer from Carol, and you finally looked back up after that, warily.
She sighed, reading through your blank expression. She stepped forward, wrapping her arms around you, asking quietly, "Are you okay?" You wrapped an arm around her after that, hugging her tightly and nodding your head quickly.
"Yeah," you answered quietly, "I'm fine. Don't worry about me." She pulled away after that, teary-eyed as she wiped an arm across her face. You gave her the dustings of a helpless smile before continuing on to the truck, letting the smile fall from your face after that.
Getting the keys, you unlocked the truck and jumped into it, slamming the door behind you. It was a while of just sitting and gripping the steering wheel before you reached down and slid the keys into the ignition and turned, starting it up with a rumble.
You shifted it into gear and started it slowly toward the shed. Weaving through the path towards the shed, it didn't take you long to get there. When you did, you saw Shane and Rick carrying a large figure covered in a white sheet.
You pulled the truck around, making it easier to load the body to the back and pulled it to a stop. Putting it into park, you didn't get out and only looked at the rear-view mirror.
They hoisted up the limp figure and shut the back gate behind him. Rick stepped back, giving Shane a nod. Shane looked down after that, starting for the passenger door.
You followed him with your eyes all the way there, staying silent as he opened the door, getting in and shutting it behind him.
There was a tension in the air in the vehicle, but when Rick pounded the size of the truck, you were quick to snap out of it and start driving again.
Speeding across the large stretch of grass, you were careful not to hit any bumps as to not disrupt the body in the back. Still, you were not wasting any time in getting there.
You pulled to a stop next to the small graveyard, eyes fixed on the vacant grave next to three others. This was one place that you had avoided on your patrols, making cuts across the grasses far away from it. But, you were here now.
You were lost in your thoughts as you stared blankly out there.
"C'mon," Shane said quietly as he got out of the truck after a moment. You blinked quickly and pulled the keys out of the ignition before going and jumping out.
You rounded to the back with Shane, noticing that some people were starting to make their way across the grass as well. You could make out Rick walking alongside his wife, along with Hershel, who was dressed up in another suit with a bible. You could feel the sadness from here.
Taking your place across from Shane, you helped him carefully carry the body across to the side of the grave, where you set him down beside it.
The rest of the group slowly made their way there, and when everyone was gathered around was when you and Shane both finally made the move to place Dale into the grave.
You went to his front side as Shane went to his feet, and you were the first to move down and into the grave, patiently waiting and slowly dropping him down to lay to rest. But, even after you released him, the weight on you didn't leave.
After that, you pulled yourself up and stood over the grave for a while before looking up at Rick. He looked to you, instead of Shane, and waited for your response. You nodded and glanced down before going and grabbing the shovel that was stuck up out of the ground in a large pile of dirt.
Once you had it, you drove it back in and pulled out a bit before turning back and slowly spilling it onto the white sheet, covering the man. You finished with that, gazing over your shoulder and waiting for the next person to take it.
Slowly, you watched as Glenn stepped up and took the shovel from you with a small nod of reassurance as he did. With that, you handed it over and made your way to the other side of the grave as you watched the rest of the people step up and help bury him.
For whatever reason, you felt the impulse to turn around and look over your shoulder. When you did, your eyes connected with someone else's. Someone that you really were glad to see.
You locked eyes with Daryl, who kept his gaze on you as well. There was nothing specific that you could read in his stare, but you didn't feel anything besides a sense of calmness in his eyes that were tinted from their piercing blue to a warm shade of brown in the light of the rising sun.
Rick started to speak after that, and you turned around, looking back down at the freshly filled grave. "Dale," he started, pausing a bit before going on. You could tell this was hard for him.
"Dale could get under your skin," he continued, "He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought."
He nodded, gazing around, "How he felt. That kind of honesty is rare... And brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale... And he'd be lookin' at me with that look he had, and we've all seen it one time or another."
There was a long pause after that, and Rick took in a quiet, shaky breath, "I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were."
There was another pause as you heard soft crying come from someone beside you. You didn't need to look over to tell that it was Andrea.
"He knew things about us," Rick started again, "The truth. Who we really are. In the end, he was talkin' about losing our humanity. He said this group was broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together. Stop feelin' sorry for ourselves, and take control of our lives. Our safety..."
Another pang of guilt hit you at that last part, but as Rick said, you couldn't feel sorry for yourselves anymore.
"Our future," he said, "We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we're gonna do it his way. That... Is how we honor Dale."
Rick concluded after that. He slowly bent down, placing a large rock in the ring around the grave, concluding the burial.
There was a long moment of tension and sadness between everyone, as no one made a move to leave and finish it.
This group had just taken a huge loss, and no one was ready to accept it. Even if it was a hard pill to swallow, you all had to. Some more than others.
* * *
Later that day, you went out with T-Dog, Shane, and Daryl on a patrol. It was a good way to take out some built up tension from before, but there was still a sense of tension between both you and Daryl.
It confused you because you couldn't feel calmer around him. The unusual calmness was tense.
But, everyone seemed to be in much better spirits now, and everything was peaceful. Another good thing was that you'd all be moving into the house. Rick didn't even have to talk to Hershel before he came up and proposed the idea just as the four of you got back.
You were resting on the side of the truck as Hershel talked to Rick, not saying a word as you stood behind him. "It's gonna be tight," Rick said, "Fourteen people in one house."
Hershel quickly shook his head after that, "Don't worry about that. With the swamp hardening and the creek drying up..." His daughter, who was standing right beside him, finished his sentence.
"With fifty head of cattle on the property we're practically ringing a damn dinner bell," she said, gazing over at you.
"She's right," he added, looking between you and Rick, "We should have moved you in a while ago."
The corner of your mouth tugged up into a smile as you looked at Maggie, who did the same back. You and Maggie had been forming a pretty close bond over time, and her family seemed like really good people, too.
"All right," Rick said, turning to look at you, Shane, and Daryl, who were all standing around the truck. He pointed off in the distance to the house, "Let's move the vehicles near each of the doors facing towards the road."
Then, everyone shifted into gear to go and move everything. People were walking back and forth, taking down the tents and taking the supplies into the house. You watched as people moved past you, like ants in a colony.
This was how you wanted it; everything organized and where you knew what was coming next. You would have a place for your family to sleep and a place to protect. That was really all that you could ask.
Rick continued, "We'll build a lookout in the windmill, another in the barn loft. That should give us sight lines on both ends of the property."
Once he saw T-Dog, he was quick to pull him over, "T-Dog, you take the perimeter around the house. Keep track of everyone coming and going." He furrowed his brow, stopping from going to get more stuff, "What about standing guard?"
He turned over his shoulder, looking straight at you, "I need you and [Y/N] on double duty." T-Dog looked at you, nodding shortly afterward, "Gotcha."
You nodded in response after that, turning to go and help load stuff in the house. Just as you did, you caught a look from Shane as he gazed between you and Rick, looking almost lost.
That was really when it clicked for you; Rick wasn't looking to Shane anymore. He was looking to you and Daryl for help and advice, and you could imagine that not going over well with him as he realized the fact that he was losing his power in the group now that Rick was cutting ties.
Though, you admitted, that you'd rather see it this way then anyway else. In your opinion, you'd both do a hell of a lot better than he would.
Hershel had been going on about how he was going to stock the basement in case something happened and the house was overrun.
"What about patrols?" Andrea came up, placing her hands on her hips and trying to look defiant. You held back a snarky remark, knowing that she had just gone through a lot as you calmly replied, "Let's try to get this placed locked down first."
Her gaze snapped over to you, but Rick didn't disagree with what you had said and done. Actually, he backed you up.
"[Y/N]'s right," he said, "After that, Shane'll assign shifts while me, Daryl, and [Y/N] take Randal off sight and cut him loose. In case we run into something like last time, I want someone else there."
You nodded, beginning to help with loading up some of the vehicles. As you did, you couldn't help but see Daryl going back to his camp. You held a muffled sigh before turning and finishing up.
You pounded the back, signaling that everything was loaded up. That was when you heard the bike motor startup behind you.
Turning over your shoulder, you watched as Daryl drove his motorcycle towards the house, following up the pickup truck to the house.
Once you saw that, you couldn't keep a small smile from your face as the group made their way to their new home. You walked slowly by yourself to your new place, looking around. You were looking forward to settling into the place finally, but you were stopped before you even got into the house.
"[Y/N]!" You looked over to Rick as he called to you, coming up. "I want you to go with Daryl, give him some help with setting up that lookout," he said, "I want that done before we go out, and it'll get done quicker with the both of you."
Giving a curt nod, you stopped your trip to the house and veered off to go and grab some planks to start setting it up. You had started planning it out before, and you already knew where all of the supplies would be to do that, and they were all pretty close by.
Going around the house, you found a stack of planks and a toolbox perched on top of it. You took the box off, starting to get as many planks as you could under one of your arms. You could only fit four, and you knew that wouldn't do it, but you needed another arm to take the toolbox as well.
"I got the rest of them," a gruff voice said from behind you, making you turn around. Daryl came up behind you, already starting to gather some planks.
"Thanks," you said as you bent down to grab the toolbox. A low grunt was his only response as you started off, quickly followed by him.
Not a word was said as you both walked across the long plain, though you wanted more than anything to just start one conversation, and only God knew why, 'cause you sure as hell didn't.
When you both got there, you looked up at the large covering that was just below the window that you needed to board off.
If Randal did somehow get out of the handcuffs, you wouldn't want him sneaking up on whoever was sitting lookout. Anyone was dangerous if they had the opportunity to take someone off guard.
Reaching up as far as you could, you pushed the toolbox up, along with the planks. That even was a stretch for you. You turned around, taking the planks out of Daryl's arms and pushing them up as well.
All the while you were just trying to avoid the inevitable. You were too short to get up by yourself.
When you finished with all the planks, you closed your eyes and sighed before turning around. "I need a boost," you said, placing your hands on your hips with a sigh.
Daryl looked at you for a while, making sure that you were serious, before actually making a move.
He knelt down beside you on one knee, cupping his hands for you to step up. You walked forward, placing your hands on his shoulders as you stepped in his hands.
Using his shoulders as balance, you pushed up and quickly moved to grab the edge of the roof, pulling yourself up. You pushed up with your arms, turning yourself over so that you were sitting on the side.
You got on your knees, reaching down to him after that. Half of you just expected Daryl to completely ignore your gesture and get up himself, but he decided to take your help.
He gripped your hand tightly, as did you as you pulled him up and onto the roof. Once you were both up there, you started to get to work on setting up that much-needed lookout.
Daryl had already held a plank up, and you moved to the other side to steady it, so he would be able to get the nails in quicker.
The both of you did this for a while, and once again, a word wasn't said.
It got finished pretty quickly, just as Rick said. The sun was still just coming above the trees when you finished. You wiped a hand over your head, looking over at Daryl for a moment. He looked back at you for a moment before looking away.
Gazing across the field, you caught the dusting of twilight on the west end of the barn where the last stars fought to be seen. Something about it drew you to the edge of the roof.
You walked up to it, lowering yourself to the edge, letting your legs hang off. It was a good way to relax and take your mind off of everything for a while. You just assumed that Daryl would drop down and head off somewhere else. You were waiting to hear him jump down from the roof, but you heard something completely different.
Footsteps approached from behind you, and you glanced over your shoulder just as Daryl came up beside you. He sat down with a puff of air, letting one of his legs hang over the edge as he kept the other one bent.
This behavior from him was surprising, but you were in no hurry to change it. He looked out at the sky before you both, and you let out a quiet sigh as last night was brought into your head.
Silence gave you a chance to think, and all you could think about was how things could have been different. How things really didn't have to turn out this way. How Dale could have still been here.
"Hey..." You looked over from the ground and to the man sitting beside you as he spoke. He looked back at you with that unreadable expression he had, only inches away from you.
"You did right," he said quietly, nodding and raising his eyebrows. You stared at him silently, and he didn't back down.
Then, another question was brought up in your mind, but you really didn't know if you should ask it or not.
You looked back out there, letting the silence fall back between you both, but you hated that more than the thought of asking the question.
In a desperate attempt to fill in the silence, you looked back over at him. "Why'd you come?"
Immediately, Daryl looked over at you, waiting for you to continue on if you had to. You shook your head, shrugging, "Why'd you come for me? There could have been a walker. You could have been bitten. I mean, you didn't even look, and..." You shook your head even more now, "After all I said..."
Gazing back down to the ground below you both, you finished with a shrug, "Why'd you come?"
Once again, there was a silence, and you were certain that you had said something wrong. You waited for Daryl to get up and leave you again, but it never happened.
"Can't lose you, too."
A familiar, gruff answer came from beside you, making you turn back up and look at him. He looked back at you, and you could see something in his eyes that you had almost forgot.
Sympathy filled his gaze as he stared at you, and you stared back. As you gazed into his ice-blue eyes, you felt something deep in your chest. Something that really was indescribable.
If you really had to compare it to something, it was like an ember. An ember that had been glowing and simmering, but it never was strong enough to be useful. Until now.
It felt like something had woken up inside of you. Something that you had long forgotten, but was starting anew now. Still the same, but also, completely different.
The more you stared into that cold gaze, the more heated the ember became, until it became a flame. Slow-burning, but alive. You couldn't put a name to it.
Maybe because you didn't want yourself to, because the last time that you allowed it to burn, it hurt you. The fire that kept you warm and protected turned and burned you, leaving a nasty scar that you weren't quick to forget, and that you were reminded of every time the embers started to grow.
But this time, it was different.
He was different than the last time.
After you both had broken away your staring, it was clear- at least to you- that something had changed between the both of you. Something wouldn't be the same.
You had what you wanted back; your friendship. But, you couldn't deny the fact that there was something coming along with it, whether you wanted it to or not.
Simultaneously, you and Daryl both blinked and looked away from each other in a hurry and back down to the ground.
There was a shuffling from beside you as Daryl pushed himself up, speaking gruffly, "C'mon."
You began to get up as well, brushing off your hands as soon as you got to your feet.
Daryl picked up the toolbox as he came to the side of the roof, jumping down and landing softly. You followed, seeing that he was looking over his shoulder as you came down.
His eyes were squinted in the sun light as he nodded firmly and silently. You came up beside him, letting him lead you both back to the camp.
Once again, silence. But you appreciated it this time. It gave you more time to think, which were thoughts that you welcomed.
Thoughts about being able to move forward with your group. With your family. With Carol. With Daryl. And really, that was all you could have asked for.
* * *
~ Rick's P.O.V. ~
"Take him out to Senoia. Hour there, hour back," Rick said to the man hunched over the map beside him, "Give or take." He got up and looked around, followed by Daryl as he spoke.
"We may lose the light," he stated, shrugging, "But we'll be halfway home by then." He looked over his shoulder to Daryl, who nodded and shrugged shortly after, "This little pain in the ass will be a distant memory."
Rick glanced down as Daryl leaned himself against a post under the porch, "Good riddance." Rick nodded in agreement, looking up after that, just to catch as the person he was looking for was crossing the field.
"[Y/N]'s putting together some provisions for him, enough to last a few days," he said, straightening up. He had to hide a smirk from his face as he watched Daryl turn over his shoulder, quickly searching for who he was talking about.
Rick didn't have to be any rocket scientist to know that they both had to have something going on the side. Maybe he was more aware of it than they were.
It wasn't long before Daryl realized that he was staring. More so, that it was obvious.
The sound of a vehicle approaching also reached Rick's ears, making him look up and across the field. He cut the thought of making fun of his companion away, and quickly came to terms with something that had been bothering him. Something that he had been thinking about all night.
He sighed as he folded up the map, not even looking over at Daryl. "That thing you did last night," he started, but was cut off as Daryl shook his head. "Ain't no reason you should do all the heavy lifting," he said blankly.
Rick nodded shallowly, gesturing at the map in his hand, "So you're good with all this?" Daryl shrugged, looking up, "I don't see you and I tradin' hay-makers on the side of the road. Nobody'd win that fight."
He glanced over his shoulder after that, seeing who had stepped out of the parked car and took his cue to leave as Shane came up. He set down his own map before getting up with a gruff leave, "Gonna take a piss."
Rick's narrowed eyes didn't leave Shane as he came up, hands shoved in his pockets. Already, Rick could tell that this wasn't going to be good.
Shane came up to him, raising an eyebrow, "Hey, man, you seen Carl lately?" Even him just saying something as simple as that triggered something. It was a challenge. Everything with Shane was a challenge.
Rick glanced over his shoulder, answering coolly, "He's inside with his mother." Shane shifted his weight, sighing, "Look. He came to me-- and I wasn't supposed to say anything, but he was out on the swamps yesterday. Came across a walker stuck in the mud. He got scared, ran off."
Rick knew Shane wouldn't be talking with him just to talk, and he had already put the pieces together. He let out a quiet sigh as he asked while knowing, "Same walker that killed Dale?"
Shane glanced away while nodding, "That's the one..." There was a long pause as Rick weighed the options.
Overall, he really just wanted to get Randal away from here as fast as he could. "I'll have Lori talk with him," he concluded, but Shane wasn't having that answer. "Look," he said, and Rick prepared to be told that his idea was wrong, just like every other conversation.
"I think he wants to talk to his father," he said, staring up at the man on the porch. Rick narrowed his eyes, answering back sharply, "Well, I need this Randal thing done already." Shane paused, still staring before sighing, "Look, that needs to wait, okay?"
Rick drew in a sharp breath, feeling his jaw clench. This wasn't the first time that Shane had questioned Rick parenting, and he knew that this wouldn't be the last. But Shane needed to step back in line, because he didn't make the calls anymore.
"It's my call," he hissed out threateningly. Shane kept his stare for a while before shrugging and shaking his head, "How 'bout I ride out with [Y/N]? Huh?"
He furrowed his brow and glanced up, again, challengingly as he continued with a sarcastic smirk, "Be good for us to spend a little time together."
Rick, once again, could see right through that. He tilted his head to the side, answering back with just as much cockiness, "Nah, I need you here."
A scoff was the only return from Shane, "What? don't think I'll handle it right, huh?"
Already, Rick didn't like the idea of having the two of those people in the same car together. Yes, Shane was Rick's best friend, but so was [Y/N]. He also knew how they both got under each other's skin.
Shane had shown blatantly that he couldn't hold that back, and that resulted with [Y/N] having a bruised and bloodied face. Another thing, was that he knew that he wasn't the only one who didn't like the idea of the two of them together.
Rick raised his eyebrows, shifting his weight and challenging Shane back, "Well, you wanna follow up Daryl with that idea?"
Shane scoffed, shaking his head and shrugging, playing dumb, "What's Daryl got to do with that?" Rick narrowed his eyes, barking back, "You know full what."
There was a long pause as Shane tore his gaze away, knowing that idea wasn't an option, and that [Y/N] wouldn't be the only one that had gotten a bloody lip at some point.
"You know, your son," Shane started again, pulling something out of his pocket and placing it on the railing of the porch.
"He gave me this," he concluded, setting the gun on the railing. Rick's eyes went from that, back to his friend, who was shaking his head with an unbelieving grin, "You should get that back to Daryl."
With a scoff, Shane turned around and shook his head as he started to walk off, "Freeing that prisoner..." He glanced over his shoulder, shaking his head still, "More important to you than Carl."
Rick glared off at his friend as he walked away. He could feel the heat churning in the pit of his stomach, and suddenly, he had the impulse to pick that gun up and aim it at the back of his head.
He never had more hate for that man than he did at that moment. But, Rick had more self control than that, and he also knew what he was doing was the right call.
By getting this prisoner away from the group, he was making Carl safe. And with Shane's temper, he knew that he friend couldn't do that. He would just have to make Shane see that, or fix this reoccurring problem.
* * *
~ Your P.O.V. ~
Wiping a hand over your brow, you turned and nodded to T-Dog, who was standing beside you, "That should do it." He nodded in response to you, and your attention was drawn away when you heard someone calling your name out. "[Y/N]!"
You turned, seeing Rick as he walked by, beckoning you. You set down the hammer that you had been using to help board up the house and grabbed up your sword that was resting by your feet and slid it into your holster.
You had been waiting all day to get this over with, and now, you were finally going to get this off your chest.
Jogging now, you walked in tandem with your leader, who handed you a gun.
"Found your gun," he said, to with you took it out of his hands, "Best take it, just to be cautious." You shoved it into your belt, keeping your eyes on your leader for a while before nodding.
Though it was obvious that walkers weren't the only threat last time Rick had went out, you thought it best not to say anything. Shane and him hadn't been the same since, and you knew that you weren't the only one to notice.
When you both rounded the corner, you saw a familiar figure loading up the truck. The familiar angel wings gave it away. Walking up to the truck, you threw your bag in as well, which had the normal medical supplies and things before hearing Rick, "Ready?"
You looked up and nodded, to which Daryl followed, "Yeah." You patted the side of the truck before backing away, "I'll get the package." Rick turned to you, "Thanks."
You nodded again as you walked, "No problem." You hurried your pace off to the shed, where he had been tied up, gripping the handle of your sword the whole way there. It didn't take long at all to get there.
"Randal," you yelled out, "Time to go." You finally took your death grip off of your sword and pounded on the door before going and doing the combination for the lock hanging on the door.
You clicked the numbers into their slots before pulling down and unhooking it. "Don't try anything, Ran--"
You cut yourself off as you stared down at the pile of blankets on the ground. You also saw the cuffs. But, one major thing was missing. Randal was missing from that pile of waste.
Your brow furrowed as you stepped in, drawing your sword out and looking around for the teen that might have been hiding. You kicked over a stack of hay that might have been hiding him, having your sword at the ready.
Nothing was behind there, besides a few rats that scurried out, squeaking as they ran to the dark corners. You whirled around, looking up and around you. Nothing.
"Shit," you whispered to yourself before turning and exiting the shed, dropping the lock from your hand on the way out.
With your arms pumping at your sides, you rounded around the house, almost colliding with Rick, who held his hand out in front of him.
"Hey," he said, his brow furrowed, "Is everything alright?" You shot a thumb over your shoulder as Daryl jogged up behind Rick. "Randal," you started, looking between the both of them, "He's missing."
Rick's expression didn't change as he looked past you, still speaking, "Well, did you--" You nodded, cutting him off, "I checked around the shed. He's no where in there."
That set off a change in him as he passed you, and you were quick to follow, right next to Dixon.
All of you got there quickly, but your sudden flock there didn't go unnoticed either. Rick stopped just outside as someone called for him, who sounded like T-Dog. You just wished that he'd be quiet. You didn't need a panic on your hands, along with a missing person.
You ducked into the shed, not bothering with the questions that were being asked by your friend.
Kneeling down, you took this opportunity to examine the handcuffs that were left behind on the wall. They were covered and slicked in a thick coat of blood. He must have slipped them.
You let out a quiet sigh as you heard more and more people come up to the shed, asking what happened. You heard scattered answers and question coming from everyone, but you had zoned out, trying to think of the possibilities of what might have happened.
One glaring fact stood out though; Randal wasn't the only person missing.
Where the hell is Shane?
You straightened up, bending down to snatch up the lock from the ground and then exited. Rick looked at you, raising his eyebrows as you stood in the doorway of the barn before the whole group.
Letting out a quiet sigh, you started to explain, "The cuffs are still hooked. He must have slipped them."
Carol's eyes darted around wildly, looking from you to the woods and back, "Is that possible?" You shrugged, "It is if you got nothin' to lose." You stepped down from the doorway and cleared it just as Hershel started to shut it.
"The door was secured from the outside," he explained as he showed, shutting it and gesturing to the lock on the outside. That was when you remembered the lock still in your hand.
"Door was locked up tight when I got there," you said, tossing it to Rick afterward. He caught it, sighing shortly afterward. "Okay," he started, "I don't want any panicking."
Everyone turned to him as you took a spot next to Carol, who gripped your arm tightly, almost painfully, but she needed you there.
Rick held out his hands, trying to get everyone to quiet down, but that attempt was failed.
People started raising their voices, and Rick kept trying to calm them down.
Eventually, you raised your voice over all of them, stepping forward to stand beside Rick. "We're not going to get anything done by all yelling at each other."
It was quiet for a split second, and you took this opportunity to turn and try to ask, "But Randal's not the only one g--"
"RICK!"
Immediately, you gaze snapped over to the tree line where you heard someone yelling. It was a familiar voice, and the sight was also recognizable. "RICK!" Shane yelled out again as he stormed across the stretch of grass between the forest and the shed.
Everyone's vision shot up and people started to move to meet him halfway. Lori came up beside you, "What happened?" Shane yelled back, "He's armed! He's got my gun!" That sent a chill down your spine, along with the sight of the lone man crossing over to you all.
Shane's face was smeared with blood that seemed to be pooling under his nose. It looked like he had been beaten pretty badly, which was surprising, considering that would have been by Randal.
Carl ran up alongside his mother, "Are you okay?!" Shane kept storming over as he answered, "I'm fine! Little bastard just snuck up on me. Clocked me in the face!"
After that, Rick whipped around, pointing out at the group. "Alright," he started, pointing off at people, "Hershel, T-Dog! Get everyone inside the house. Glenn, [Y/N], Daryl, come with us."
Nodding, you were just about to follow him, drawing your sword out. "T," Shane said as he stormed past you, "Imma need that gun."
Just as you were about to start following them, you felt something grip around your arm and make you stop.
"Just let him go," you heard your aunt say from behind you, making you turn around. She gazed back and forth with wide eyes, "That was the plan, wasn't it? To just let him go?"
Honestly, if it were anyone else, you would have snapped back a smartass reply, but you understood her. You understood how much it scared her for you to go out in the woods with an armed man.
Rick turned around, "The plan was to cut him loose far away from here. Not on our front step with a gun!" You turned around again, opening your mouth to speak before she beat you to it.
"Don't go out there," she said, her voice quaking with fear, "You know what can happen!" You looked at her, gripping one of her shoulders reassuringly. "Carol," you said, softening your voice, "I'll be okay. I promise."
Her frightened eyes darted over you as you felt something nudge your shoulder.
Looking over, your eyes connected with Daryl for a moment as you watched him nod to your aunt, trying to provide the least bit of reassurance in what you said. "We'll be alright," he said softly, and you looked at your aunt with as much comfort as you could.
Eventually, you felt the grip on your arm drop as you turned and jogged with Daryl towards the tree line. Rick was still firing orders over his shoulder, and Glenn was now following beside you and your companion, all of which were being led by Shane.
The rest of your group turned around and headed back to the house to put it in full lock-down, but you still worried about them as you jogged the complete opposite way.
Still, you were protecting them by eliminating the threat. You just were mad at yourself for not being able to be in two places at once.
With one final glance over your shoulder, you locked eyes with T-Dog for a second, nodding firmly and putting all of your trust in him to keep your family safe while you were gone. But, if you were honest with yourself, and based on the person that you were following, you weren't in much safer hands either.
It wasn't long at all before the nervous chatter and barn behind you fell away as you all went deeper and deeper into the forest.
Daryl was in the front of the group now and was tracking down Randal, while Shane hadn't shut up since you all got out there. You, on the other hand, were as quiet as a mouse, sword in hand and gazing around, but your mind was elsewhere.
You had been putting the puzzle pieces together this entire time. One huge thing you saw that was wrong was that the door was locked from the outside.
Also, it was still locked when you got there. He couldn't have slipped through the rafters either. You and Daryl had been boarding those up all day just for that reason.
"I saw him head up through the trees that way before I blacked out," Shane insisted, bellowing from behind you, but by now, you were taking everything with a grain of salt. Hell, more like the whole fucking ocean-full.
"I'm not sure how long," he finished. Rick nodded, "He couldn't have gotten far." Holding back a sigh, you changed your pace to walk even closer to Daryl, not believing that Rick could possibly be taking Shane for his word.
Rick continued on, turning to face everyone else, "He's hobbled, exhausted--" Glenn spoke up, cutting off Rick, "And armed..."
Rick nodded in acknowledgment, shrugging, "So are we." Looking over, you lowered your voice and spoke to Daryl who was moving along in front of you, "You picking up anything?"
He shook his head, eyes glued to the ground in front of him like a bloodhound. "Nah," he said roughly, "I don't see nothin'." He turned to you and shrugged, confusion evident in his icy gaze.
Your brow furrowed, and you let out a long exhale. More holes burned into Shane's story, and your doubt was only fueling that fire. But, you weren't the only one to pick up on the lack of truth.
Shane was uncomfortably pacing around, like he was impatient for something to happen, and his tone was just the same.
"Hey, look," he said, "There ain't no use in tracking him, okay?" You glanced over through narrow, unbelieving eyes, watching Shane point off into the distance.
"He went that way. We just need to pair up. We spread out, we chase him down- that's it."
Unable to stand listening to any of his bullshit anymore, you stopped and stated loudly, catching everyone's attention, and putting Shane on the spot.
"The kid weighs a hundred, twenty-five soaking wet," you said, slowly turning around to glare at him doubtfully. "You're trying to tell us he got the jump on you?"
Finally realizing that his story was wearing thin, Shane shifted his stance, but glared at you challengingly.
"I'd say a rock pretty much evens those odds," he spat, making his way towards you, brow furrowed and sharp tone, "Wouldn't you?" You only let your gaze drift away, not wanting to start anything that didn't need to be. Only bringing stuff to attention.
Rick was quick to intervene, putting an arm out and separating you both. "All right," he said, "Knock it off."
Pointing from you to Glenn to Daryl, he began listing off instructions, "You, Glenn, and Daryl; start heading up the right flank. Me and Shane will take the left."
You locked eyes with Rick after hearing what he had just said. You did not want him wandering with Shane, alone.
There was no telling what Shane could do to him if there was no one else there to stop him. But, you didn't want to start anything, and if Rick couldn't see what was wrong with that plan by now, there was no amount of explaining that you could do to make him change his mind.
With one last glance, you turned away from him to go group up with your two friends, hearing Rick finish over your shoulder.
"Remember," he cautioned, "Randal's not the only threat out there. Keep an eye out for each other."
Then, almost as if there was a starting signal, the two clusters slipped off into different directions. You were unable to keep yourself from looking over your shoulder as Rick walked off with Shane storming up behind him.
You couldn't place exactly what, but you knew that something wasn't right about this.
Tracking Randal down. Shane not knowing what happened. All of this seem fabricated. Almost like a huge blanket laid over you all to cover something deeper up. But, holes were tearing in his story, and something was beginning to become very clear. You just couldn't quite pick out what that was.
You still worried about Carol and your family back at the barn, and you worried like hell about Rick.
In a way, you felt selfish. You were with people whom you felt completely safe with and could put your life in their hands. Sad to say; that wasn't the case with everyone else here.
* * *
In large, grey puffs, you watched as your breath slipped between your lips and drifted up into the cold, night air.
You could still make out two figures, on before you and one behind you as you walked, though everything now was only lit up by the crisp, cool moon that hung over you all.
Barely one word was spoken since you split up from Rick, with Daryl being focused on tracking, and you knew Glenn wasn't gifted in the conversations realm. So, you just stayed quiet and alert.
You were so on edge that you were startled when Daryl let out sigh and stopped, turning back to you.
"This is pointless," he huffed out, practically speaking your thoughts. He looked at you, "You got a light?"
With a nod, you reached down and lifted the flashlight out of your bag and handed it to the man in front of you. He took it out of your hands and flicked it on, shining the light in front of you all and onto the leaves on the forest floor, looking for any sign of Randal or Shane left.
Daryl lifted up the beam after that, shining it around and off into the tree line.
After a while of stiff silence, Daryl dropped his arm down to his side, shining the beam behind you all. He let out a loud, irritated groan before turning and going off in a completely different direction.
You held back a sigh once again as you turned over your shoulder and locked eyes with Glenn. He looked confused and tired, which you could imagine everyone was.
"Come on," you said quietly, touching his arm before you both started to follow Daryl once again. You jogged to keep up with him, nearly colliding with him when he stopped and spoke quietly over his shoulder.
"What Shane said," he started, shaking his head, "Was wrong... Or complete bullshit." You shifted your weight, planting your hands onto your hips, looking around again.
Opening your mouth to say something, you were cut off when something bumped into your back, sparking adrenaline through you as you turned around.
Expecting to see a walker, or maybe Shane coming back to you all to pick you off, you raised your sword up to protect you ad the man behind you before you really saw who it was.
"Sorry," Glenn whispered as he backed away. Rolling your eyes, you lowered your weapon back down to your side. You turned back around to Daryl, raising an eyebrow. That was when you looked around, finding this place very familiar. You had all just made a giant circle.
"We're just back to square one," you said, hoping for at least a smidge of explanation. "Well, if you're gonna do a thing," Daryl said, "you might as well do it right."
He walked on, and you followed, figuring that Daryl had thrown all information that Shane gave him out the window and decided to do this for himself to really find out the truth. That was all you could hope to see him do, and that's what made you trust him so much.
The person you trusted most was yourself, and he was just like you, so you trusted him.
You turned over your shoulder and tilted your head, beckoning Glenn along with you both, though he still looked confused out of his mind. But, at least you all had something to go on now, and were actually being lead by someone who was fit to be a leader.
Once again, you almost collided with the man in front of you when he made a stop a few minutes after you had changed your direction. He ran the beam along the ground, outlining something that you couldn't quite make out, but apparently he could.
"There are two sets of tracks here," he said quietly, a hint of suspicion simmering in his voice. "Shane must've followed him a lot longer than he said," he finished. You nodded, letting your gaze drift up.
As you stared on, something caught your eyes.
About three feet in front of you, there was a tree with a patch of bright red blood on it, not the blood of a walker, that's for sure. You walked ahead carefully, pointing up to guide the light to the blood spot, speaking quietly, "There's some fresh blood on this tree right here."
You shook your head, "And it isn't from a walker..." Things were just getting stranger and stranger now, but you knew you weren't the only one thinking that.
After Daryl came up beside you, his eyes darted back down to the ground. "There's more tracks," he said before walking past you, leaving you and Glenn by the tree again.
"Something's not right," he said, shaking his head. You hummed in agreement, looking after Daryl.
"Shane's story isn't adding up," you said, slowly walking on with Glenn. His breathing wavered, and you couldn't tell if it was because of his nerves or the cold. You all had been out for about two hours, long past nightfall, and since winter was drawing near, the nights became colder and colder.
In order not to be left behind, he two of you hurried up to catch Daryl, who spoke over his shoulder. "It looks like they're walking in tandem," he said, almost sounding confused.
An animal called behind you, making Glenn step closer to your side. You looked beside you with a furrowed brow, catching his almost embarrassed look before you walked on.
"Yeah, there was a little dust up here," Daryl explained. Glenn looked over his shoulder, "What do you mean?" He turned over his shoulder, looking from Glenn to you as he answered, "It means something went down."
You shook your head, unable to really grasp what exactly was going on and quickly becoming frustrated, "It's getting weird..."
The whole group stopped for a second, just waiting for something to tell you what the hell you were all supposed to do.
Something lightly touched your shoulder, bringing your focus back to Daryl, who beckoned you along. "Had a little trouble," he said, and you followed him beside the tracks.
There was a black cloth coiled up under some leaves, which you leaned down to pick up. You weren't sure what it was for a while, before you realized that it was the cloth used to blindfold Randal.
Confused, you looked back up at Daryl, though you didn't get any indication of an answer to your question of what the hell was going on from him.
The only thing that snapped your gaze away from him was the rustling and breaking of sticks from somewhere behind you all, causing you to simultaneously break away and duck for cover behind trees.
Daryl took you by the arm and slipped behind a tree, pressing his back up to the bark. You pressed up against his chest, taking as much cover as you could as well.
You could feel him breathing heavily behind you, and the warmth coming off from his body was comforting, but you really had no time to think of that over the raspy breathing and growling that came from behind you.
Glenn had taken cover behind a tree beside you both and was worriedly looking to you both for an answer for what to do next.
Slowly, you both leaned around the tree, seeing a lone walker stumble its way through the trees. You let out a quick whistle to grab Glenn's attention and tossed the flashlight back over to him to give Daryl use of both of his hands. You just hoped that the walker hadn't heard that as well.
But, when the footsteps paused and slowly started to come closer, you knew that your time to think of a plan had become much shorter.
Letting out a shaky breath, you gripped your sword even tighter and slowly started to move away from Daryl, giving him enough time to get ready to fire a shot.
Just after that, Glenn turned around and raised the flashlight up, shining it upon the walkers face.
Which looked extremely familiar to you.
The pale, distorted face of Randal was illuminated by the light, and it sparked shock into Glenn, making him stumble back, knocking him onto the ground.
He swung out, narrowly missing the walker's head and knocking off it's ear instead. Then, he hit the ground with a hollow thud, knocking the air out of him.
Before the walker could latch itself onto your friend, Daryl fired a shot, turning it's attention over to him.
With a sickening snarl, it lunged for Daryl, locking onto him, and this time, tumbling down to the ground with him. Daryl held the walker away from him, it's teeth clicking only inches away from his face.
Without thinking, you dropped your sword down and dug your fists into the clothes he still had hanging on its back before ripping it up and off of Daryl, giving him a chance to get up.
In your sudden burst of anger, you threw yourself off balance and stumbled back, tripping over a root. The walker still faced away from you, twisting and turning in your grasp as it laid on top of you.
You groaned and looked to your side, spitting dirt and leaves away from your face as you were trapped under the squirming monster, just praying that either Glenn or Daryl were there to get this thing off of you before too long, otherwise you'd be going 'missing' as well.
Before too long, you saw the tip of a blade protruding out of Randal's head, causing him to cease his growling and moving before something lifted the heavy body off of you.
Glenn and Daryl both stood over you, and Daryl was quick to lend you a hand to help you up as Glenn dragged the body away from you. His worried eyes darted over you, still holding your arm as you stood up, "You okay?"
You nodded quickly, letting out a relieved sigh before breaking away from his grasp and going over to your sword once again.
As you picked it up and slid it into your holster, you realized how stupid it was to drop it. You could only guess it was because you were too afraid to harm Daryl if you swung your sword. Glenn, on the other hand, was smarter than that.
Going back over, you patted his back firmly, still breathing heavily after your close call.
"Nice," you said, staring down at the Randal walker now. Glenn nodded at you, staying silent and obviously shaken up. That was when you broke away from him to get a closer look at Randal, already seeing something very wrong.
First, you leaned down and grabbed Glenn's weapon, pulling it up and out of the walker's head with some trouble.
Once it was free, you went over and handed it to him once again, kneeling down after Glenn took it.
Something stung inside of you as you started at Randal, making you let out a quiet breath. No matter how much you tried to shove it aside, there was a little bit of you that wanted to find Randal alive. Or, at least, didn't want him to go missing at all. In the end, he really was just a kid, who had to adapt to this world.
But, it was too late for that now, and there was something else that you were worried about. "Hand me that flashlight, would you?" You held a hand out to Glenn, moving the beam over to the walker once you felt the light in your hand.
Gently, you lifted his chin and tilted his head to the side, getting a better view of his strangely bent neck. You leaned back after that, brows furrowed.
"He got his neck broke," you said, trying to come up with a situation where that would have been possible. Though, you kept coming up blank.
"What?" Glenn spoke, to which you only shrugged.
Then, another question came up in your mind. You searched the front of Randal's body, looking for any blood spots or torn, bloody clothing, but you couldn't see anything.
Then, you took his shoulder and flipped him over on his stomach, lifting up the back of his shirt and exposing his legs. That was when you concluded your search. There were no bites.
"He wasn't bitten," you said quietly, hearing someone kneel down beside you. "Yeah," Daryl said, shaking his head, "None that you can see."
To that, you shook your head and dropped the flashlight beam down, "No." You glanced over to him, gesturing to his neck, "He died from this... I'm sure of it..."
The both of you locked eyes for a while, seeing his confused expression match your exactly.
Glenn spoke up from behind you, "How is that possible?" And to that, you had no answer. You all just looked at each other in pure confusion.
How could he die from that? Why was his neck broken? Why is nothing that Shane is saying making any sense at all?
And to all of those, you had no answer.
Chapter 27: To Hell and Back
Chapter Text
A shot echoed through the woods, causing you to freeze, along with your heart.
"Rick," you whispered softly to yourself, looking off in the direction where you heard it from.
Your small group had been on the move back to the house, hoping that Rick and Shane would be there, and to explain what you saw to everyone.
You had been on the move back for no longer than fifteen minutes before you heard a gunshot coming from off in the distance.
It didn't come from the direction of the barn, but that didn't stop you from worrying about it. You felt something drop inside of your chest as soon as you heard that shot, because you were almost sure that it had something to do with Rick and Shane. And all you could think of at the moment was the worst.
Glenn and Daryl and you had been sitting in place for a few moments, not knowing exactly what to do, and all still confused.
This night had really shown you how little you knew about what exactly what was going on in this apocalypse. Also, how you were barely prepared for this mess that you were going through with your friends.
Daryl as the first to snap out of the shock, gently touching your shoulder and pulling you along towards the direction of the barn again.
"C'mon," he said gently. You blinked and pulled away, turning around as you shook your head, "No." He looked at you, but you only backed away, stuttering, "That- That could have been Rick. Something could have happened to him, I--"
Glenn came up beside Daryl, speaking to you. "[Y/N], we have to get back," he explained, "They could be back there already. Plus, what if there are more walkers?"
Shuddering a bit, you glanced over your shoulder again, before feeling something touch your hand gently again. You turned back to Daryl, who was looking at you firmly, "If they're not there, we'll go back out. But Glenn's right."
You shifted your weight, hesitantly nodding after a moment as you tried to clear your head.
Then, you all went back on your trek to the barn again, keeping aware for more walkers like Randal on your way back.
But that shot just seemed to play itself over and over again in your head. And all your attempts to clear it away fell short, but you weren't going to cause any more trouble with insisting you had to stay back and look for them alone. That would just be suicide.
It wasn't long before you got back to the barn, and you all practically flew up those stairs on the porch, flinging the door open to everyone gathered in the living room of the house.
You looked to them for answers, and they looked back to you for the same. But, one thing that made your stomach flip was the slight lack of people there.
Carol came up to you and hugged you tightly, which you did back with a concerned expression, "Rick and Shane aren't back yet?" Lori looked over to you, quickly getting up off of the couch, shaking her head with her familiar bewildered look, "No."
You glanced around, letting Carol out of your arms, Daryl coming up beside you. "We heard a shot," he explained. Lori let out a shaky breath and response, "Maybe they found Randal..."
You shook your head, looking at the people in front of you, answering coldly, "We found him."
Maggie spoke up with a concerned expression, "Is he back in the shed?" You shook your head, starting to fill them in on what you had all seen out there, "He was a walker..."
"Did you find the walker that bit him?" Hershel stood up, raising his eyebrows in question. He just opened up another huge can of worms. You sighed and shrugged, shaking your head still, "Weird thing is..."
You paused, looking around, "He wasn't bit." Daryl nodded from beside you, "His neck was broke."
There was a beat of tense silence, and you could relate to all of them. There as no way you could answer any of that for them. Patricia looked over the three of you, "So, he fought back?"
Glenn was still silent, letting you and Daryl explain what was happening, looking just as confused as anyone who wasn't there to see any of this.
"Thing is," Daryl started again, "Shane and Randal's tracks were right on top of each other. And Shane ain't no tracker, so he didn't come up behind him." He stopped, shaking his head, "No... They were together."
You barely saw Lori as she came up to you, pleading with a shaky voice, "Would you please get back out there, find Rick ad Shane and find out what on Earth is going on?"
Her expression was completely helpless, but this time, you didn't mind her not going out and doing something for herself. Based on how well that went last time.
You nodded, "Of course." She let her shoulders drop in relief, gripping your shoulder as you started for the door again. You were stopped by something grabbing your arm, and another helpless face pleading with you.
"[Y/N]," Carol said, standing behind you with just as much pleading in her voice. Her tone shot a pang of guilt through you, and you could imagine how much this must hurt her and scare her to see you go out there when even Rick and Shane couldn't seem to make their way back.
You opened your mouth to say something before someone else cut you off.
"Don't worry about it," a familiar voice said from behind you. You turned to see Daryl standing over you.
"I can track them down a lot faster," he said, more talking to you now. He lowered his voice to almost a whisper, "You stay right here with her."
Gazing into his blue irises for another moment, you felt yourself nod and turn back to Carol, hearing heavy footsteps make their way to the door and hearing it open up. God, he really had changed. You couldn't express how that made you feel.
But you caught something else.
As you glanced over your shoulder, you looked out the window. At first, you thought you saw Rick and Shane. But that was when you saw hundreds of other figures lined up alongside them.
You felt the blood in your body run cold and all color drain away from your face. Walkers- more walkers than you saw on the highway- lined up along the tree line and were pouring out of the woods, not looking like they were about to stop.
"Shit," was all you could say as you turned around, making a sprint for the door. Once you were outside, you ran up alongside Daryl, who was looking out at the field before him, which was crowded with walkers.
One by one, more people spilled out onto the porch to watch the amazing sight ahead of them.
There were more than you had ever seen before in all the time you had spent in the apocalypse, and they were all headed for the house.
This was your worst nightmare, and in this world, these could come true. Except the only difference was that you couldn't wake up from this. You couldn't pinch yourself. You had to fight.
Hershel whispered from behind you both, and lights were shut off soon after, and Maggie said something about guns. That was what you all really needed right now. Guns. Something to protect yourself with.
"Maybe they're just passing," Glenn whispered from behind you, "Like the herd on the highway? Should we just go inside?"
Daryl turned around, speaking to Glenn, but staying close to you, "Not unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about. A herd that size would rip the house down." You let out a shaky breath, knowing that this could go one of two ways, and you didn't like the way it probably would.
That brought your thoughts back to Rick and Shane.
To be honest, you could care less about what happened to Shane. But Rick was still out there. Your brother was still out there with a monster, and not one just like the ones marching towards the house.
But, you couldn't worry right now. You had to keep yourself calm and collected to be able to protect your family still at the house. You just had to hope and pray that Rick would find his way back here safe and sound.
"Carl's gone!"
That sent a pang of worry and panic through you, making you whirl around.
"What?" You practically spat out that question, eyes wide as saucers. Lori shook her head, looking shaken out of her skin, "He-- He was upstairs. I can't find him anymore..." You felt all breath escape your body, letting your shoulders sink down and a hand go through your hair.
"Maybe he's hiding," Glenn suggested, but it didn't work. Instead, Lori just raised her voice over his, "He is supposed to be upstairs! I'm not leaving without my boy!" You shook your head, stating firmly, "We're not."
Carol nodded, darting back into the house with Lori and explaining that they were going to find him and this and that. You remained outside, looking out over the field and being sent straight back into a feeling of panic.
Maggie and Hershel were handing out guns and such to everyone else, but you kept your eyes on the field, feeling numb as you desperately tried to grab a hold on yourself.
Once everyone had a gun, Daryl turned around and shook his head as he came up beside you, "If I got the number right, this is no use..."
Hardly hearing him, you just tried to keep yourself from getting sick. What you did hear was Hershel speaking up.
"You can go if you want," he said, without a note of doubt in his voice. Daryl turned back to him, "You gonna take them all on?" Hershel answered just as level, "We have guns. We have cars."
That sparked some fire back into you, and showed that you were no use to anyone when you were panicking and nervous. If you really wanted to keep your family safe, like Hershel did, you had to snap out of it.
That was when you finally whipped around, furrowing your brow as you unsheathed your sword, speaking firmly, "Kill as many as we can, and we'll use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm."
Daryl looked at you warily, before turning back to Hershel, asking softly, "You serious?" Hershel stared back at Daryl, determination fueling the fire in his eyes, "This is my farm. I'll die here."
Daryl nodded, looking back to you, "All right. Its as good of a night as any." He nodded towards the field, maintaining eye contact with you, "Let's head out." You answered him with a firm nod, ready to do whatever it took to defend your family and find Rick. And he was right; if you were going, this night was as good as you were gonna get.
The both of you swung your feet over the side of the porch before dropping down onto the grass and heading towards the scattered herd, straight on. You clenched your weapon firmly in your hand, heart racing in your chest as adrenaline pumped through your system.
You felt like you were an unstoppable force, just like this herd, except you had a purpose, unlike them. So they didn't stand a chance against you or your companion beside you.
You started making your way to the vehicles, trusting that others would be making their own way there shortly after you both.
There were a few stray walkers that made their way up to you, reaching out with hungry hands, hissing and snapping their rotting jaws as they groped empty air. You swung your blade around, cutting through the heads of the monsters, watching them crumble to the ground.
Daryl kept pace beside you, shooting down a few before they got close to either one of you. It didn't take you long at all to get to the cars, and you both stood guard around them, keeping the walkers from getting too close until some of your group got to you.
Before long, Maggie, Glenn, Jimmy, and T-Dog ran up, each brandishing their own weapon. That was when you finally gazed behind them to a faint, but growing glow in the distance.
There was a fire that was starting in the barn. Someone had set a fire.
You were confused for a moment before feeling some hope. Rick could have started that fire. But that still meant that he was trapped in there. But at least he was alive.
Knocking all other possibilities away, you waited as everyone else got into their vehicles and started off towards the barn. You heard the familiar sound of a motorcycle engine starting up, making you turn around.
"Hop on," you heard Daryl say, pulling it up beside you and stopping. You walked over and swung your legs over the back, settling yourself down before slipping your arms around Daryl's waist.
Almost instantly, he started off again, making you hold even tighter to Daryl's waist. "Rick could have started that fire," Daryl shouted over his shoulder. You nodded, "Rick or Shane, but they're trapped in there."
There was a line of three vehicles behind you, and you already had your gun in your hand. Everything was happening now, so there was no going back now.
As you weaved your way down the path, Daryl pulled his motorcycle to a stop, raising his gun up. You followed, still keeping one arm wrapped around the man in front of you. Almost for comfort, because you still felt some panic deep down, but being with him kept it quiet.
You fired shot after shot, watching as the both of you knocked down two walkers, one after another. It was like clockwork, and you didn't even have to think about it.
The blue pick-up truck swerved off to your side, with Andrea leaning out of the window and firing shots as well.
Everyone was just trying to get to the barn, which was becoming more and more engulfed in flames.
The good part was that the fire distracted most of the walkers away from the gate.
The bad parts were that Rick and Carl were missing, and either of them could have started that fire. Which meant they were probably still in there. But you knew that you would go to hell and back to get them out.
When you both were almost out of ammo, you moved along the fence, just as some pushed it down, cascading over it. Daryl moved the bike up next to the RV, yelling up to Jimmy, "YO! MUST'VE BEEN RICK OR SHANE THAT SET THE FIRE! MAYBE THEY'RE TRYIN' TO GET OUT BACK! WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO CIRCLE 'ROUND?"
Jimmy leaned back into the RV, yelling out a quick "got it" before he sped off through the gate and towards the barn. You watched him go, leaning over Daryl's shoulder and shooting down a walker that was no more than eight steps from reaching you and Daryl.
"Let's go," he said softly to you before starting off again. You nodded and wrapped your arms around him again, holding him tightly as you headed off.
There was a bit more of just driving back and forth, shooting down walkers before you felt your gun click in your hand.
"Damn it," you said, stuffing it back into your holster. You moved your arms back around Daryl, who looked over his shoulder and asked, "You out?" Nodding quickly, you replied to his question, "Yeah."
He sighed quietly after that, and you looked back to the house.
The sight of Beth, Patricia, Lori, and Carol bustling around sparked a strong wave of fear and unfathomable love for the people there. Almost a mothering instinct kicked in as you unsheathed your sword from its holster, eyes still locked on the porch and mind set on getting them to safety.
"Alright," you heard Daryl say, but paid no mind to at all, "I'm gettin' you out of here."
Like hell you're doing that.
Just as he said that, you swung your leg around and hopped off of the bike, which didn't go unnoticed.
"Woah-woah-woah," he said, reaching out and grabbing your wrist before you got too far, making you turn around.
A look of confusion, denial, and something else mixed into his facial expression, but his grip didn't release.
"I need to get them off of there," you explained, shaking your head. Daryl cut you off almost immediately after you finished. "I'm not leaving here without you," he stated.
A tugging feeling rested in your chest. Two people whom you loved fought over your conscience, but overall, the need for trust took over.
Turning back to Daryl, you leaned in closer. "I'll get them through that group of walkers," you explained, "And I'll find you."
Looking past him, you continued with your instructions, "Wait for me by the east end of the driveway."
You stared directly into his eyes as you felt his grip ease, but you kept a hold of his hand for a moment longer when you concluded, "And if the walkers beat me to you, you get the hell out of there."
When you finished, you felt his grip tighten on your hand, but you insisted. "Trust me," you said, looking straight into his eyes. It was a beat before you felt his grip loosen from your hand, and you started to back away.
Eventually, after you got one last good look at him, you turned around and sprinted for the house, taking out walkers left and right as you ran.
Bodies fell, and you could still see the flash and hear the loud bang of Hershel's shotgun. He was doing a pretty good job with defending his house, but you needed to get Carol and the others out of there, and he seemed a little too occupied at the moment to help them.
"HEY!" You waved at the blue pick-up truck, beckoning it over, and to your relief, you watched as it turned around and started over to you. Then, you looked over your opposite shoulder to Carol and Lori and the rest of them, waving them over to you.
"Okay, let's go," you shouted. It started with Lori, then Beth, then Patricia, and then Carol. You reached out and helped Lori into the car where Andrea had just left to cover you when you heard a sickening shriek come from behind you.
Whipping around, you stared in horror as Patricia had a walker latched to the back of her neck, tearing the flesh away and letting a flood of red liquid cascade down her back and neck.
Beth still clung to her arm, unable to let her go and screaming in protest of what was happening before her.
Lunging forward, you gripped Beth's shoulders and forcefully ripped her away from the woman she still tried to help away from the monster.
In one fluid motion, you guided Beth to Lori and practically forced both of them into the car before closing the door, taking out the walker that took Patricia down right after that. But it wasn't long after that you made a horrifying realization.
Carol didn't make it into the car.
Whipping around, you searched through the dark to try to pick your aunt from the walkers that surrounded you all. That was when you heard her screaming.
Your head snapped off in that direction, quickly picking out exactly where that came from. Carol ran from about six walkers, quickly getting cornered against a building, still shrieking.
Without a second thought, you shot off, sprinting as fast as you could and completely ignoring T-Dog's pleas for you to get back there.
Though it seemed like it took ages to get there, you were nearing the walkers, and soon enough, placed yourself in between them and your aunt.
You started yelling and making a bigger target for yourself, getting the creatures to focus on you. All you needed to do was get an opening for Carol, which you soon saw.
"GO! GET TO THE TRUCK!" You bellowed out orders as you decapitated walker after walker that came for your aunt. You heard her pitifully try to say something from behind you, which sounded like a protest, but you weren't about to let that slide.
"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! NOW!"
And, with that, you watched as Carol's frail body darted off like a scared and wounded animal to the blue pick-up truck, where T-Dog was still yelling at you to get back there.
Being so focused in watching her leave, you barely realized how close these walkers were really getting.
"SHIT!" You screamed as a walker came from beside you, knocking you down to the ground.
It hissed and clicked its jaws at you, but you couldn't hear it. All you heard was ringing from your head smacking against the ground beneath you.
You couldn't hear the number of walkers coming to make a meal out of you. You couldn't hear T-Dog's cries of agony and frustration as you were brought down out of sight. You couldn't hear the loud engine as the blue pick-up truck finally sped away and to safety. You just heard ringing.
But, you were conscience enough to see in a blurry fog. And, with just your luck, you looked down to the walker's waist, a little handle protruding from its side. A small switchblade stuck out from the walker's rib cage. Your last sign of hope.
Gathering together your strength, you reached down and yanked it out of the walker's side before raising it above your head and driving it down into the top of its skull, making it let out one last, pitiful snarl before becoming dead weight.
You groaned, shoving it off of you before you pushed yourself back and away from the rest of the walkers making their way towards you.
"Fuck," you said, stumbling around with your sword swinging at your side, just darting between the predators that lunged for you, snapping and snarling as you did.
All that filled your ears was your pounding heartbeat, but a strange calmness that Carol was safe now. So, whatever happened to you after this happened. That was when you remembered someone else.
"Daryl," you whispered aloud, gazing off towards the driveway. You didn't think that there was anything there at first, but then you saw a lone figure hunched down, gazing over to the burning barn.
With one last burst of strength, you started to run towards the gate that separated the field from the driveway, pulling the gate closed behind it, not like it would stop many for long at all.
All the while, you just waited for that figure to speed away on his bike and never look back. But, as you walked on, he just stayed there. Waiting for someone he loved.
"Hey," you tried to yell, but it was more of a cracked whisper, making you realize how exhausted you really were. You were sure he didn't hear you. But the walkers in the field could hear everything, that was what you were sure of.
He couldn't see you and if he did, he'd probably think you were a walker.
As walkers piled up on the fence, reaching out at you and making the barbed wire strain against their weight, you just stumbled on. Sure that he was going to leave before you even got there. That was when a part of the fence caved in, letting loose a group of walkers.
"Damn it," you said, stumbling to the side. But, something else reached your ears, pumping back some life into you.
The familiar sound of an engine revving came from up ahead of you. You were almost positive that he was leaving after seeing the fence give way. But, when you looked at him, you saw him staring straight back at you, looking like he was scrambling to get the motorcycle moving.
Then, he took off down the driveway for you, with you running as fast as you muster straight back at him.
Your legs shook underneath you as he came up to you, pulling aside so you could jump onto the back. "C'mon." he shouted, "I ain't got all day!"
If you hadn't been running for your life at that moment, you'd crack something witty back. Maybe make fun of how you both ran to each other like one of those cheesy scenes in a movie when a couple runs to each other on a beach. But, then again, you were still running for your life.
Swinging your leg around, you sat yourself behind Daryl, wrapping your arms around his waist once again and holding tightly to him just before he shot off again down the driveway.
You panted heavily, looking behind you at the burning building that you were leaving behind, and just catching it as it crashed down to the ground in a pile of flaming lumber and walkers.
It made you wonder how many of you there were left. Or if you all would find each other again. But, right now, you had Daryl with you, and that was exactly what you felt you needed at the moment. So, you held him tightly, as if you might loose him if you let him go.
Slowly, you felt a heavy weight rest on your eyelids, making every blink harder. But, you didn't know if you could feel safe anymore. You felt safe on the farm, like you could make a home there for your family. Like that was going to be a permanent thing.
No, you didn't think that you could grow old there and die a peaceful death in your sleep, but you didn't think it would end like this.
But, there was a part of you that felt safe. Safe with Daryl.
You felt like you could trust him, and someone that you could stand by. Someone that would lay down their life for you, just like you would do for him.
If it was any different, would he have waited that long for you at the farm?
Regardless, if you were with him, you felt safe, no matter the circumstances.
So, gently, you tightened your grip and laid your head down on his back, shutting your eyes and let yourself forget about everything that happened back at the farm as you made it onto the highway, letting the wind flow through your hair and the sound of the motor help you drift off to sleep.
* * *
A steady whirring and the strong scent of smoke is what you woke up to, jostling around in a seat as something in front of you warmed your body.
Taking in a deep breath, you cleared your throat as smoke flooded your lungs, making you gag.
You got up from leaning on the man in front of you, who glanced over his shoulder for a moment, but he didn't say anything. You hardly opened your eyes, already hearing some sickening growling coming from around you both.
You knew that none of this was a nightmare. This all was very real, so you didn't allow yourself to have the slightest hint of hope that what happened was all just one huge bad dream. You were a bit confused though, more so on where you were.
Finally, you forced yourself to open your eyes, leaning away as a few walkers started to stumble towards you both, with Daryl slowly waving through them on his bike. That was when you leaned forward, speaking into his ear over the rumbling of the motor.
"How long was I out?" He shrugged after that, still focusing on getting the two of you out of there. "Bout two hours," he yelled back, to which you nodded.
You looked around, gazing ahead of you on the dirt road that you were traveling down, making another question rise to attention. "Where are we going?"
It was a moment before Daryl answered, but it felt like an hour. "Saw one of our cars heading down this way on another road," he said, "Couldn't get their attention, but they're my only lead."
You nodded, not sure how to react to that. On one hand, you were happy that some of your group made it out, but you weren't going to get your hopes up after what just happened. Plus, you didn't even know if you were going to run into them again.
Over these past few weeks, you had lost most hope in chances and in finding people if you lost them. That was why you were so devastated when you heard that Daryl couldn't get their attention over to you both.
But, suddenly an idea that seemed to make perfect sense popped into your head, though, once again, you were forced to rely on chance. But what did you have left to lose?
Firmly, you patted Daryl's shoulder, leaning forward and speaking into his ear, catching his attention again.
"Turn up there, off this road," you said, pointing to the left side of the road. He looked a bit confused, but obeyed, sending you both down a narrow dirt path. That was when you finally started to explain your plan to him.
"The highway," you said, already some life spiking back into your voice, "The big wreck; that's their only landmark. If Rick wanted to find people, he'd go there. Maybe that was them."
Daryl nodded a bit, speaking over his shoulder once he seemed convinced. "Hold on," he said, to which you clutched onto his waist tighter, pulling yourself closer to block your face from the wind as you sped down the open road.
For once, you had some hope again. At least you knew that Carol was safe, along with Lori and the baby. Rick could have been driving that car.
Yes, it was just chance, but it was also just chance that Daryl saw you before he left. Chance that he got you out of there. Chance that you had both ended up with each other. So far, chances seemed better than nothing.
* * *
~ Rick's P.O.V. ~
He couldn't believe it. All words were drained from his body as he saw two run down, familiar vehicles ease their way down the road. He clutched his boy's shoulders in his strong hands, and he could almost feel the excitement radiating off of him.
Slowly, and to make sure he wasn't going off the deep end, Rick turned around and looked back at Hershel. He had never seen so much joy and love spread across somebody's face. Though he imagined he probably had it on his own.
Quickly turning back around, he watched as the vehicles slowly eased their ways down the ditch and onto the other side of the highway, pulling up.
Just as they did that, Carl pried out of his father's grasp and made a dash for the blue pick-up truck, which looked like it held T-Dog, Carol, Lori, and Beth.
Glenn and Maggie pretty much fell out of the green van, with Maggie dashing off into her father's arms, sprinting by Rick.
"Thank God," Lori said through sobbing as she met her boy with open arms, falling to the ground in a tight embrace.
Hershel and his girls were folded into each others arms in the same way, leaving Glenn to stare out over all of them with a smile.
Rick finally got up after another moment and looked around to them all, eyes landing on T-Dog, who still sat in the car with a faraway look on his face. That was when his smile wavered, completely erasing after he saw Carol.
She had started to wander away, not getting far before she stopped in her tracks and sunk to the ground, leaning against another car, holding her face in her hands, completely swallowed in defeat. That was when he noticed something else soon after.
He blinked and searched around, slowly feeling a sinking weight seep into his chest. He turned and looked to T-Dog, who finally looked back at him. Rick shook his head, finally asking. "Where's... Daryl and..."
It was Glenn who answered for the first part, catching Rick's attention again. "Daryl got out," he said, the smile wiped away from his face now as well. Rick's brow furrowed, making him look away.
"He was waiting for her," Glenn finished, and he didn't have to say her name for Rick to know.
He was hesitant for a while, but he had to ask. He had to know. There was a silence before Rick finally spoke again, asking anyone who would answer him.
"Did anyone see them?" The only thing that filled the silence was Beth's quiet sobbing, and he began to think that maybe no one saw.
But then why would Carol be so upset?
This time, it was Beth who answered him, pitifully. "She was taken down," she said, her breath still hitching as she spoke, "She went for Carol, and then more walkers came just she just couldn't get--"
That was when she broke down into more crying, turning back to her father and saying some things more about how Patricia went out almost the same way. But Rick barely heard her.
Glenn sighed again, "I don't know about Andrea though. I didn't see her."
He had lost his three best friends all in the same night, not even hours apart from each other.
And so he understood what Carol was going through, and he couldn't lie that at this point, he felt like doing the same thing. Lori had at some point stood up and went over to him, clutching his arm in some comfort.
But, the only thing that snapped him out of his trace was a quiet rumbling, coming off from behind them all.
Almost in unison, everyone turned and looked down the highway, but no one said a word. Maybe afraid that they would lose it if they broke the silence. But, Rick could hardly believe what he was seeing, and if no one else had turned, he would have believed that he was seeing things.
There, just a speck on the road, a motorcycle was making its way towards them, with a body sitting atop it. There was a cascading wave of relief that washed over him when he saw his friend driving down the road, forgetting about the others that should have been there for a second. But only for a second.
That was when he felt a bit of heartbreak for him and for Carol, who had rushed up to Rick's side.
If anyone would be mourning the most for her, it would be them.
Still, as Daryl was getting closer and closer, that was when he really believed that he was seeing things.
For whatever reason, there was another figure sitting right behind him, arms wrapped around his waist. There was another spark of hope, because he knew that it must have been Andrea.
But as they got closer, Rick couldn't believe what he was seeing.
* * *
~ Your P.O.V. ~
Figures darted between the cars, and you had your fists balled in the fabric of Daryl's vest as he got closer, itching with anticipation to get off and run to your aunt. She must have been worried sick, and you felt guilty for making her worry so much. So you wanted to make it up as soon as possible.
After what seemed like hours, Daryl pulled his bike up and let down to kickstand, with you practically leaping off to go and run to your aunt, whom was leading the crowd that was coming to meet you.
A wave of pure love and happiness drowned you as you barreled into your aunt, who was sobbing into your shoulder. You clutched each other in a death grip, swaying around for a while in a tight embrace.
It was well over a minute before she finally let you go, to which you turned around. You met T-Dog, who had a grin on his face from ear to ear as he laughed, pulling you into a warm embrace after that, folding you into his large arms.
And that was when you caught a glance at the person behind you.
Once you broke away from T, you ran and caught Carl as he came running to you, knocking off his hat. You lifted him off of the ground, laughing and squeezing him tightly before dropping him down again.
Glenn intervened after that, hugging you tightly and giving you a firm pat on the back along with a laugh.
After you gave Lori a tight hug, you glanced up and stared at Rick, who was staring right back at you with a look of bewilderment and pleasant confusion. It made you laugh happily as you walked over to him.
He met you halfway, clutching onto you and placing a hand on the back of your head, wrapping another strong arm around your shoulders.
"How?" He whispered, which meant he probably thought that you had died. Finally after he broke away, you looked at him with a smile. "What? You really thought something like that would get me?"
With his eyes filled with happy tears, he chuckled and stepped away, looking past you, eyes following someone else.
Stepping to the side, you let Daryl and Rick reunite with a loving, brotherly hug and quiet laughing. After that, you turned around and grabbed Carol's hand, hugging her again.
"We saw you get attacked," Lori said, making you turn with a shrug. "I was lucky to get away from that son of a bitch," you said, laughing and shaking your head. Rick turned to Daryl, shaking his head in confusion, "How did you find us?"
Daryl answered with a laugh, slowly drifting back over to stand by you again, "With those guys' tail lights zigzagging all over the road--" He smiled over at Glenn, finishing, "Knew he had to be Asian, driving like that."
Glenn nodded with a chuckle, "Good one."
That was when you got another good look around, with the smile on your face slowly melting away before turning back to Rick again with a furrowed brow, "Where's the rest of us?"
By that, you meant Andrea, Jimmy, and most of all, Shane. But, by the look on Rick's face, he knew as mush as you did. "We're the only ones who made it so far," he said, bringing a tone of sorrow back to his voice.
Slowly, you nodded, figuring that the rest of them wouldn't be as lucky as you. But, Shane was the one that you were really worried about. Lori turned around, eyes almost hopeful as she asked, "Shane?"
Everyone watched Rick after that, just waiting for an answer. All hoping for different outcomes. After a while, Rick just silently shook his head. You blinked after that, holding back a sigh. You couldn't lie; a part of you was relieved.
There was no part of you that actively wanted Shane to die, but there was apart that knew he was dangerous, and you needed to protect your family. Any way possible.
It was a while before Glenn spoke up, looking around, "Andrea?" You shrugged, shaking your head, "I lost her after Patricia went down. We all got split up."
Looking back, you turned to T-Dog, "I was hoping that you picked her up." He shook his head after that, shrugging, "Lost her behind some walkers. There were too many after that, so we bolted." That was when you really felt horrible.
No body knew what happened to her. But without any way to get away, you were almost certain that she was dead. But you weren't sure of anything anymore.
"What about Jimmy?" Beth spoke up again, her frail voice wavering as she searched around, "Did you see Jimmy?"
Rick was quick to nod after that, not even connecting eye contact as he answered, completely draining all her hope, "He was in the RV, it got overrun."
There was a soft whimper before she leaned back into her father's chest. But, there was still a question simmering in your head. If you had gotten out of there, why couldn't Andrea?
Slowly, you looked over at T again, "You for sure saw Andrea?" But, it Lori who answered you, shaking her head, "There were walkers everywhere." But, that didn't answer your question.
So, you turned to her again, raising your eyebrows and repeating yourself, more firmly this time, "Did you see her?" There was no answer from her vocally, which was just enough of an answer for you.
To that, you shook your head in disappointment. Even if you didn't particularly care for Andrea, you would never want to leave someone behind, scared and alone with deadly creatures everywhere. But she still could been there, which made your decision firm.
"I'm going back," you said, starting for one of the cars, but you were hurriedly stopped.
Rick stepped in front of you, holding out an arm. "No," he said firmly, a bit of worry simmering in his gaze. You shrugged, unable to see why he wouldn't go back, "We can't just leave her."
Rick just held your gaze for a while as his wife answered, coming up beside you, "We don't even know if she's there."
Rick tore his gaze away, leaving you staring daggers into the back of his head as he spoke to the whole group this time, "She isn't there. She isn't." He seemed so sure.
How could he be sure? They thought I was dead.
"She's somewhere else," he continued, almost seeming hurt, "or she's dead. There's no way to find her."
To your relief, you weren't the only one that was going to argue this. Glenn stood up, looking just as confused as you as he asked, "So, we're not even gonna look for her?"
Tense silence settled over the group as they waited for Rick's answer, hoping it may be wavered. "We have to keep moving," he said over his shoulder.
A sigh escaped your lips, obviously upset by the thought of leaving someone behind. But, in some way, you understood Rick's mindset.
"There have been walkers crawling all over here," he finished, but you stayed silent. "I say we head east," T-Dog suggested, staying by the truck. Daryl nodded, which snapped you out of your trace as he began to walk back towards his bike, "Stay off the main roads. The bigger the roads, the more walkers, more assholes like this one."
You hadn't even realized that there was a walker slowly stumbling its way towards you all, but Daryl caught it before you could get your sword out of your holster.
"I got it," he said, raising his crossbow up and firing a bolt out of it, landing a perfect shot between it's eyes.
You nodded, looking back at Rick for an answer of what you all were supposed to do next.
He nodded, looking down before ordering you all around again, "Alright, we head east. Daryl, you take the lead. We'll find some back roads and head down them. Whatever you do, we all stay together."
With that, everyone was on the move again, except for you and Daryl, who were standing and hesitantly looking to each other.
Clearing your throat you spoke first. "I just..." You looked down again, nodding. "Thanks," you said with a smile, "Again." He shook his head with a bit of a scoff, shifting his weight.
"You don't have to thank me for shit like that, [Y/N]," he said, staring you down.
A chuckle escaped your chest, but you snuffed out your smile as you spoke, "Nah, I do. You didn't leave."
Nodding, you gently touched his arm again, "So, I'm gonna say thank you, whether you like it or not." He rolled his eyes, but you still smiled, even after he walked back to his bike again.
Slowly, you started to make your way for one of the cars, but you didn't get very far before you were stopped again.
"Hey!" You turned back to Daryl, raising as eyebrow. He started the engine on his motorcycle, tilting his head as he spoke, "Hop on."
With a small smile, you shut the car door and walked over to Daryl's bike, swinging your leg over and sitting yourself behind Daryl once again, slipping your arms around his waist before all of you moved back on the road again.
* * *
Everyone had been on the road for about two hours, with you and Daryl still in the lead. It gave you time to think, but also some time for comfort. Carol was alive. Rick was alive. A threat had been eliminated. And you just tried to keep your mind off of Andrea as much as you could.
Other than that, and the fact that your group didn't have a place to stay, you were at least relieved, because they were all together. That was, until you heard a loud beep come from way in the back of your line of cars.
Turning around, you spoke quickly, "That's Rick's car." It was a moment before you sighed in defeat, "I knew we should have siphoned some gas..."
Daryl slowed down, and you were the first to straighten your legs out, steadying the motorbike and waiting for Daryl to shut off the engine.
Turning around, you caught just as Rick came up to the front, quick to question, "You out?" He sighed and answered grudgingly, "Running on fumes."
You nodded after that, swinging your leg around the side and dismounting the bike just as everyone else was exiting their vehicles as well. You could already feel the start if something.
Maggie stepped up, shaking her head, "We can't stay here!" Rolling your eyes, you held something back about not needing to start a panic because you knew that would just start something else, and you didn't have the energy for that. Instead, you took another stance on the problem.
"We can't all fit in one car," you said, keeping any challenge from your voice. Rick turned around, shutting you both up with a stare and forceful words, "We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning."
By that time, Carol was already glued back to your side, holding her arms over her chest as to trap some of her body heat in, "Spend the night here?" You had some doubts about that to, like where was safe to stay?
"I'm freezing," Carl said which caught your attention. "Here," you said, slipping your jacket off and handing it to Carl instead, who took it gratefully and wrapped it around himself. You were a bit chilly after that, but Carl was more likely to catch a cold in this type of weather, and you had next to nothing to give him if he actually got sick.
Lori nodded to you and suggested, "We'll make a fire then, yeah?" It seemed like a pretty sturdy idea to you, so you just nodded and looked back at Daryl, shrugging as if to say 'why not'.
He caught your glance, backing it up, "[Y/N] and I will go out looking for firewood." You didn't see anything wrong with that, so you nodded and grabbed your sword, but didn't take it out of its holster.
"Stay close," he reminded, but you didn't get far at all before you were stopped once again. "Wait," Rick said, making you turn back around. He looked at you, pointing to your gun, "How much ammo you got?"
You looked down before shaking your head, "Nothing." He sighed, pointing right in front of him, "Then I want you to stay here. Let's just... Wait. We were all just split up, and I don't want everyone running off again."
Maggie scoffed, addressing Rick, "We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out." Hershel scolded her language after that, but she was right about that. No one had any idea what they were supposed to do, and you weren't going to find that out by standing around like bait.
"Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick," Hershel said, staring you all down like a disappointed father after his kids lost a baseball game.
With the spotlight being put on him, Rick finally started to assemble a game plan for you all.
"All right," he said, "We set up a perimeter. In the morning, we'll find some gas and supplies, and we'll keep pushing on." Maggie nodded, seeming to swallow this more than just sitting around.
"Glenn and I can go make a run now, try and scrounge up some gas," she suggested, keeping her voice low, but Rick wasn't having any of it.
"No," he said firmly, "We stay together. God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car."
You shook your head, speaking calmly but getting your point across. "Rick," he stopped after that, not fully turning around though as you said his name, "We're stranded now."
Instead of firing back an argument, Rick nodded and faced you all again after that. "I know it looks bad," he said, "We've all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other. I wasn't sure- I really wasn't- but we did. We're together. We keep it that way."
He made a good point in that, but you could tell that he wasn't done with what he had to say. He paced around, shaking his head and yelling in a raspy voice, still keeping it low.
"We'll find shelter someplace," he said, "There's gotta be a place." He clenched his jaw in frustration and stopped talking after that, but you couldn't think of a single thing to say.
So, Glenn stepped up, still trying to reason with him, "Rick, look around. Okay? There's walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something."
Instead of listening to him, Rick still shook his head, "No, there's gotta be a place not just where we hole up, but that we fortify! Hunker down. Pull ourselves together. Build a life for each other! I know it's out there. We just have to find it!"
You turned to him again, walking towards him and shaking your head, "Even if we do find a place, and we think it's safe, we can't be sure for how long. Like with the farm..." You scoffed, shrugging, "We fooled ourselves, and we can't do that anymore."
Hershel stepped up, almost whispering to you, "We won't make that mistake again." But you knew that you could never be sure.
So, you just shook your head a bit and paced around, ending up side to side with Carol, who took your hand in her cold, frail one.
"We'll make camp tonight," Rick said, pointing off towards what looked to be a foundation of a house.
"Over there, get back on the road at the break of day," he stated. Carol tugged on your arm a bit, grabbing your attention once again, "Does this feel right to you?"
You let in a long inhale, but you couldn't answer that right now, because you really didn't know what you thought about this. Beth came up to you and Carol, looking between you and Rick, "What if walkers come through? Or another group like Randal's?"
You shook your head, pacing away before Daryl spoke up, "You know I found Randal, right? He had turned... But he wasn't bit."
That was when you saw something extremely suspicious from your friend. Rick didn't say anything in response to him. He just turned away.
Slowly, you started to walk towards him again, furrowed brow and eyes locked on his facial expression.
Beth and Lori still questioned him, but you just stared him down, knowing that was a way to get to him quicker than words.
You knew he trusted you and cared about you, and you cared very dearly about him. But he needed to tell you what was going on, because you knew he knew. And he knew, you knew, he knew.
You shook your head, looking around. "Shane killed Randal," you said, which you were sure of. Shrugging, you continued, "Just like he always wanted to."
That was all you were sure of, so you just looked back to Rick after that. Lori was still confused, "And then the herd got him?"
That was when the most unsettling, suspicious, tense silence that you had ever felt. And you could just tell that there was something wrong with Rick. You couldn't put a finger on what it was, but you knew something was wrong.
You were positive something was wrong with him. Or something was just wrong in general. Either way, you felt something in your gut, and by the looks of it, whatever you thought was about to come true.
"We're all infected."
That was when everything seemed to go deadly silent. There was no one making a sound before, but even the birds and the wind hushed as soon as he said that.
You felt as if someone just opened your chest and emptied it, handful after handful. But, you still didn't know what he was talking about. You just couldn't bring yourself to get a word out. Instead, it was the taller man beside you.
Daryl leaned forward, "What?" Rick couldn't bring himself to meet his friend's gaze, and just stared off into the trees or at the ground beneath his feet, almost as if he was looking for someplace to hide.
"At the CDC," he began to explain, "Jenner told me... Whatever it is, we all carry it..."
That was when you began to put some of it together. Why Randal turned without a bite. But that also opened up more questions, like is it going to kill you? Does it only affect you when you're dead? But, one question bellowed overall. One booming problem that needed answering, more than all of the others.
Walking forward, you couldn't help yourself from glaring at Rick, watching him dart his gaze from yours to the ground again. "And you never said anything?"
He seemed to think about this for a while before he finally looked up again, facing you head on, "Would it have made a difference?" You narrowed your eyes, shaking your head and lowering your voice to an accusatory whisper, "You knew this whole time..."
He looked back up again, jaw clenched and eyes ablaze, "How could I have known for sure? You saw how crazy that mother--" He was cut off after that by someone behind you, to which you began to back away again, placing your arms up over your head.
"That wasn't your call," Glenn said, shaking his head as well, "When I found out about the barn full of walkers I told, for the good of everyone." Rick faced him now, level voice now as he fired back, "Well, I thought it best of people didn't know."
And with that, he gave one last glare to everyone before going and turning around, heading off down the road to God only knows where, leaving everyone in a mixing bowl of shock, confusion, and anger.
* * *
For the rest of the day, until the sun was well below the trees, you collected firewood. There was no way that you would be sleeping that night, with you already having slept and the constant unknowing of what was going to happen next.
But, Daryl and Glenn had insisted on making the last run out to get firewood to keep the fire going for the rest of the night, so you just stayed behind with Carol.
You kept yourself busy with trying to get her to calm down after everything that had happened, and trying to defend Rick.
No matter how upset you were initially, Rick was your brother. And now you knew. You just didn't like the idea of him keeping stuff from the group, which was probably the whole mindset of the group at this point.
You had an arm wrapped around her, and she was resting her head on your shoulder. Glenn and Maggie sat across from you, holding each other's hands.
Hershel was staying with Beth, right next to Lori, who had Carl laying over her lap. And, above you all, T-Dog stood guard. The only people that were missing from this circle were Daryl and Rick.
When some sticks were dropped down beside you, you jumped and looked up, just as Daryl knelt down, beginning to sort through some firewood.
Letting out an exhale, you looked back at the fire again, realizing you had also startled Carol. "Sorry," you whispered, but she only shook her head before looking around.
There was a long period of silence between you all, and Daryl finished up sorting the firewood before settling himself down next to you. You had nothing to say, so you just sat in silence for a while.
"We're not safe with him," Carol suddenly whispered to the both of you, making you turn. She shook her head, "Keeping something like that from us?" She checked over her shoulder after that, turning back around when she was sure she hadn't gotten Rick's attention.
"Why do you need him," she asked you with a furrowed brow, "He's just gonna pull you down..." You shook your head after that, speaking softly, "Carol, we wouldn't be here without Rick. You know that."
Still, she seemed far from convinced from what you said to her. Daryl just sat silently next to you, glancing back and forth between you and her, staying out of this as long as he could.
"You're his henchmen," Carol said, talking about both you and Daryl this time, glancing away after that, "And I'm a burden. You deserve better..."
Your brow furrowed, making you sigh in frustration and look over to her with a genuinely confused look, "What do you want, Carol?" She turned back over to you, nodding past you and speaking, "A man of honor."
That was when you realized who she was talking about now, making you look over to the side.
As soon as you did, Daryl's gaze snapped away from you and back to the firewood. Just after that, you scrambled for something to say.
"Rick has honor," you stated simply, moving to get up and take your position for watch. You just wanted to get away from that awkward situation where you really didn't know what to say. But, that was when you caught part of Maggie's and Glenn's conversation.
"I think we should take our chances," she said, which as almost instantly shut down by her father, who quietly replied. "Don't be foolish," he cautioned, "There's no food, no fuel, no ammo." Sad to say, all of that was completely true.
You didn't have enough time to hear anything else before there was a rustling of leaves coming from somewhere else.
Almost instantly, you drew your blade and turned towards the sound, standing guard. Beth was the first to voice anything, "What was that?" You responded, not even turning around, "Might be anything..." Daryl completed your sentence, "Could be a raccoon, possum." But, you weren't expecting either of those things.
"Walker," Glenn added, to which you held back a sigh.
Thank you, Glenn.
Still, you all just waited around for a while. "We need to leave," Carol finally said aloud, making sure Rick could hear her, "What are we waiting for?"
You walked over to her and took her hand in yours, gripping it tightly to calm her down, looking over her shoulder towards Rick when Glenn and Maggie started asking questions, but you just focused on Rick.
You held each other's gaze for a moment before he ripped his away and stormed into the circle of stone.
"The last thing that we need is for everyone to be running around in the dark," he hissed out, catching everyone's attention. That was when everyone actually shut up and turned to their leader again.
"We don't have the vehicles," he said, shaking his head, "No one's traveling on foot."
Then, as if everything was arguing with him, a branch snapped behind him, making Carol grip tighter onto your arm. "Don't panic," you whispered. Maggie seemed to be having a harder time keeping herself together than her though.
"I'm not," Maggie started, "I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through. We need to move now!" That was when Rick really seemed to snap.
Lunging forward, he raised his voice, making Maggie step back. "No one is going anywhere," he stated, scanning over you all. Everyone fell silent again, except your aunt, who still clung to your shoulder.
"Do something," she commanded, turning Rick's attention to you and her. He stepped forward, glaring, "I am doin' something! I'm keeping this group together! Alive!" You knew that this was the start of another one of Rick's meltdowns, but you weren't about to interrupt him again.
He already seemed like he was on the edge of completely boiling over, and you had all just gotten rid of one crazy, so you didn't need another. But, you didn't see the Rick Grimes that you knew and loved in this man. No, you began to see someone different.
He began to circle around, continuing, "I've been doin' that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this! I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!"
That was when it all added up. The gun shot. That wasn't Shane who fired at Rick, then. No, it was Rick that killed Shane. You blinked, taken aback by that, but he didn't give you enough time to process that completely before he went on.
"You saw what he was like," he said, "How he pushed me, how he compromised us. How he threatened us."
His eyes landed on you and Daryl and Glenn, gesturing to you all, "He staged the whole Randal thing. Led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice! He was my friend, but he came after me!"
And that was when you heard Carl crying, which was muffled by his mother's shoulder. It absolutely broke your heart to hear that. But Rick's gaze didn't falter.
"My hands are clean," he insisted, but you didn't know if you could bring yourself to believe him completely. "Maybe you are better off without me then," he said, but he sounded too challenging.
Looking over his shoulder, he invited anyone to walk straight past him and out into the open night. "Go ahead," he said, "I say there's a place for us, but maybe-- Maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe I'm fooling myself again!"
He looked straight at you, pointing at you before gesturing out. "Why don't you go and find out for yourself," he said, stepping to the side, "Send me a postcard!" But, you just stood there and stared at him, completely washing away any expression from your face.
"Go on," he said, "There's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get!"
No one moved a muscle.
Maybe it was because they were scared. Maybe it was because they didn't want to give him that satisfaction. But no one moved.
"No takers? Fine," Rick spat, "But get one thing straight; You're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore."
That was when you really saw your old leader slip away. Your friend. He slipped away and turned into a hardened man, scarred and broke and from this world. And truth was, you didn't want to see him go.
But, the only question you had now was, what now?
Chapter 28: Lucky Rabbit's Foot
Chapter Text
Seven months.
Seven months drifted by, and you were all still on the road.
Seven months went by, and you were all alive and together.
Seven months of scrounging up food and forking it over to the others that you thought needed it more than you did.
Your merry band of survivors had been on the road since the farm burned down, and all of it just seemed like a distant memory, drowned out by the constant fear and uncertainty that you had now that you all were on the road, unprotected.
Plus, you had something else to worry about now.
Usually, you could adapt and calm fears down by learning how to eliminate the threat in the first place. But this only got worse and worse as time went on.
Lori was almost nine months along, and could pop at any second, which meant she might very well have to give birth on the run. That was the thing that you were mainly trying to avoid now.
Another huge need was someplace that she could safely give birth. Not a temporary place that would only work for maybe a week, but a place where you could protect her and the baby. Someplace like the farm, but hopefully, it would last you all longer than that.
Another thing that had changed was that you all became hardened. You had all made it through a tough and cruel winter alive, but you didn't come out of it without at least a few scrapes and scars.
Carol became quieter, as did Carl. In fact, barely anyone spoke to each other except for short instructions from your leader.
On the bright side, you had learned to become a pretty good shot with a rifle.
T-Dog wasn't the only one who could stand guard, now that Dale and Andrea were both gone. And a sword wasn't exactly the best thing for that.
So, you improved your skill, and you were pretty decent now. But that was the only good thing that came out of that for you. It was well outweighed by the downsides.
But, you all survived. You might not exactly be living the dream, but you were living none the less, and you'd take whatever you could get at this point.
That was the case with most of your group; taking whatever they could get. Which was why you, Daryl, Rick, and T-Dog were all lined up along the porch of the house, all looking to Rick for him to give the okay.
"Go!" Rick whispered to you all, which seemed to strike a match, lighting off a perfect explosion of action in your body.
Rick kicked down the door to a few stray walkers, who snarled at your uninvited entrance. Rick was busy firing off shots, knocking down a few walkers in the entrance way, and you picked another to lunge after.
Swinging your blade around, you cleanly knocked off the top of one of their heads, stepping over them as it fell to the ground before you.
T-Dog and Daryl had each gone off their own separate way, and Carl also snuck into the house just after his father, raising his gun and flashlight as he crept down a hallway.
Everyone of you had turned into a part of what was built to be a perfect killing machine. You all seemed to have a silent way with each other, having each others' backs and watching out for one another. That was just how the world hardened you all; kicking your asses back into line.
If that was all it took to keep your family alive, it was perfectly reasonable in your opinion and you wouldn't protest against it.
Eventually, you found your way through the house into what looked like some pantry. It had a promise of food, so you hesitantly eased your way into to, keeping your sword at the ready beside you and flashlight in front.
When you stepped in, you covered your mouth instantly to keep the floating dust out of it before beginning to shoo it away from your face. You got used to it before long and started to search around the shelves, though the only thing they seemed to hold was more dust.
With a sigh, you almost gave up, before something caught your attention.
Snapping your flashlight beam back up, you focused it on the door that was in the back of the pantry.
Silencing your breathing, you focused on listening around you. Faintly, something shuffled around the on the other side of it, it's feet scuffing on the floor beneath.
Instinctively, you gripped your sword tighter and began to ease your way towards the door. That was when you heard the footsteps stop directly on the other side, making you stop at the same time.
Slowly, you reached down, gripping the doorknob in your hand tightly, mustering up the last bit of courage before turning it and throwing it open.
Instantly after opening it, you swung up your sword blade in front of you, lining it up to eye level. But, instead of a hissing monster, you were met with a quiet weapon pointed right back at you.
You stared down a bolt resting in the flight groove of a crossbow. That was when your gaze drift over and locked with two, bight blue irises.
With a quiet sigh, you let out the air in your chest that you were holding, watching as Daryl did the same, the hinting signs of a smile dusting his face afterwards.
You rolled your eyes and started walked out of the room again, this time, heading down a separate hallway instead.
Another sad thing was, over the coarse of these few months, you and Daryl hadn't spoke much. It was because you were almost exactly like each other.
You were so focused on keeping the group safe and secure that you didn't have much time to actually sit back and talk. But you wanted to talk to him, and you weren't sure if he necessarily felt the same about that part though.
You had made yourself quiet comfortable riding on the back of his motorcycle, which quickly became your go-to vehicle to travel on, and Daryl didn't mind having you there.
The rest of the hallways and rooms seemed to be like the pantry; very little number of walkers and almost completely cleaned out.
Occasionally, you heard a silenced shot, which came from Carl, but that was the only kick-up that happened. So, you concluded that it was mostly safe there.
You quietly made your way back to the back door of the house, opening it quietly before inviting the rest of your group in, who were anxiously waiting outside.
Glenn and Maggie rushed in first, carrying bundles of blankets under their arms, followed by Lori, who was carrying a bundle in her stomach.
Carol and Beth brought up the rear, along with Hershel, who was starting to look like Father Time.
Just as you all got in, Daryl was coming down the stairs noisily from behind you, plucking out the feathers of what looked to be a freshly killed owl. That was the most food that you had seen in days, except for the jar of peanut butter still in your bag. But that wasn't for you.
Everyone started to gather in the living room, sitting in a huge circle. All except for Carl, who was still searching through the house. Still, no one said a word.
That was when you finally took out the jar of peanut butter from your bag. The last one you had, but that was only your knowledge. You'd find some more food before too long. Hopefully.
You didn't have to look up to see all of the anxious eyes that watched you from every corner of the room, more so, watching the jar that you held in your hands.
Slowly and carefully, you dug the spoon into the jar, pulling out just as much as you needed and plopping it into a jar which was originally used for baby food.
The baby food didn't last your group long at all, so you had plenty empty jars.
You began to pass it around before filling up another one and another one, until you were almost to the bottom.
When there was only so much left, you scooped out the last two servings of it into one jar. That was for Lori.
Leaning over, you handed that to Lori, who took it with a small smile. You had been very adamant about splitting your share of food with Lori, which meant you ate probably once every two days on a good week. But you managed.
Rick refused to eat almost anything, until you practically have to force it down his throat. And that was never fun. Daryl took care of himself, usually splitting whatever he had with either Lori or you. That was when he had to force you to eat. But, once again, you managed.
Your attention was drawn over to Carl as soon as he came back into the room with two cans. Of dog food. That kind of struck you for a moment.
You had resorted to eating roots and berries from the forest. You had resorted to eating baby food. But, you had yet to stoop to the level of animals. But, everything needed to start somewhere, right?
So, you decided not to cause a fuss, because it was something. With a groan, you sat back onto the ground, the only sound after that being the can opener scraping against the metal.
That was, until Rick started to make his way over to his son, and your eyes followed him.
Just as Carl was about to pop off the top of the can, Rick bent down and scooped up the can, looking over the label.
Slowly, he strolled his way over to the fireplace, and you saw the look of complete disgust on his face. You knew he was about to do something.
Out of no where, he swung his arm around, throwing the can of dog food into the fireplace with a loud clang. It tore Daryl's gaze away from plucking out the feathers from the bird that he hunted down, making his look from Rick to Carl to you and back again. And everyone just stopped moving.
For a moment, you all just turned into statues, waiting for someone else to make a move before they would, and you all sat like that for a while. Everyone relying on someone else to make the first move. But it wasn't until you looked over your shoulder and out the window.
A few lone walkers started to make their way towards the house, but there were a good number of them walking up behind them as well. That was when you snapped into action.
"Psst," you said quietly, tilting your head to gesture out the window. Everyone else's head turned, and they quickly saw what you were trying to get at, and were hurriedly starting to get up.
You knew no one really had the energy to take on a huge group like that. So, the only other option was to start running and get the hell away from there.
Glenn, Maggie, Hershel, Beth, and Carol quickly made their way for the supplies that were lined up in the hallway, slinging them over their shoulders and dragging the blankets up into their arms as you and T-Dog went to go and keep the path from the house to the cars clear.
Rick was the first to come out of the house after you two, leading the rest of the group back to the cars as Daryl brought up the rear. Once you saw him, you darted away to his bike, mounting it as soon as he did, holding on him as he started it.
Usually, you would be upset about leaving a potential place to stay, but it was routine by now. Still, you hoped it would end soon.
* * *
Once you all were completely off of the plot of land where the house was, you all stopped and pulled off to the side of the road, quickly getting off and out of your vehicles. You and Daryl met Rick just after he came back from instructing Carl on doing something.
Maggie had laid out a map across the hood of the minivan, which was marked with little x's and red marker in different spots, which was basically all the ground that could not be covered over the winter. Either from walkers or unsafe terrain, but either way, there was no way that your group would be making it through those places.
The thing was, you were running out of places to go, so you all had just basically been moving in circles throughout the entire winter.
So, you either had to tough through a herd, or find a new way to get around the groups of walkers. And, only one of those choices seemed reasonable at the moment with a pregnant woman and a half-starved group.
But, you needed another plan for that second option, because it wasn't like the walkers would part like the red sea if you just showed up. Besides, you kinda gave up on praying.
"We've got no place left to go," Hershel said, to which Maggie followed up, eventually turning into some kind of argument and mixing pot of ideas. You just stayed out of it, because you really didn't have any ideas that you could give.
It startled you when someone came up beside you, but you were quick to relax when you saw that it was Daryl. He glanced from you to Lori, keeping his voice low. He gazed at you with concerned eyes, "How long do you think Lori's got before the baby?"
To that, you shrugged and crossed your arms, keeping your voice down as well. "I'm not sure," you said, "Should be any day now. She's overdue..." You concluded with that, and Daryl only responded with a nod.
The both of you broke away from each other when Rick started to walk this way, with Daryl grabbing his crossbow and loading it, catching Rick.
"While the other's wash their panties," he started, looking between you and Rick, "Let's go hunt." Rick looked over to you with a shrug, and you nodded, taking out your gun from it's holster, fastening on the silencer, "Alright."
With that, Rick put Glenn in charge, and you all left to go hunt.
Daryl was in the lead, looking out for something larger to track. But, after about maybe ten minutes, all you had were about three squirrels.
That was when you all decided to split up, figuring you'd catch more that way, but there were some train tracks running along through the center of the woods, which you were careful not to lose sight of.
You rounded a tree, seeing a fat little rabbit picking at something on the forest floor.
Slowly, you raised up your gun, holding it with two hands before you felt your finger squeeze around the trigger.
With a little ping and a tiny chirp, you lowered your gun back down and looked down at your kill. "Nice," you said aloud to yourself before going and picking it up.
It had some good weight to it as it hung in your hand, and you managed to accidentally miss all of the good parts of meat. Well, accidentally on purpose. Still, it didn't matter.
All that really did was the fact that you had something to feed the group. Now, you just had to find the rest of your people.
And, just with your luck, as soon as you stepped onto the tracks, you were met with Daryl and Rick, who had grouped back together.
"Nice," Rick said as he saw what hung in your hands. Daryl nodded too, taking the critter out of your hands and stuffing it into his bag before zipping it up. You weren't going to lie; you were proud of yourself for that.
So, with some confidence boost, you nodded and started to lead the way down the train tracks again. Daryl and Rick followed behind you, and you felt lucky, so you led them a bit deeper into the woods on the train tracks.
Hey, maybe you'd even come across a deer. Or just something else that you could use to help your group. But, then again, you didn't want to get too far away.
Plus, you only got lucky with the rabbit, and you might have wasted all your luck on that. But, you had a bit of faith that something could turn up if you walked just a bit deeper into the woods. It didn't hurt to at least check.
The railroad reached a clearing out on it's right side, making you turn and look out over a huge field, a massive prison in the center of it. The only problem was, the field and what looked to be the rest of the prison was infested with walkers.
"That's a shame," you said, slowing your pace a little bit to look at it, but you felt like you were just teasing yourself. Your group with the state that they were in could never get through something like that. So, you just tried to walk on. But, Rick had something else in mind.
Instead of following you, he stopped in his tracks and looked out over the prison. Once you saw that he wasn't budging, you stopped and looked back, examining your friend's face.
That was when you saw something simmering deep in his eyes. Something you hadn't seen for a longtime, and something that was desperately needed from him.
He saw something in that place, something he could make a home. Somewhere where they could build a new life. You just knew him that well to know that he saw something, and he wasn't one to go down without a fight.
* * *
You're crazy. No, you're fucking insane.
That was all you could really think of at the moment as Rick knelt down in front of the gate, snapping the wires apart with a wire cutter.
You, Daryl, Glenn, Maggie, and T-Dog all stood in a tight formation around Lori, Carol, Beth, and Hershel, protecting them from any walker that got too close. But, in your opinion, all of them were a little too close for comfort.
Still, another thing you learned from being out on the road from Carol was that you had to learn to trust.
That was something that she had taught you, because she trusted that every time you went out for a hunt or did something crazy, she trusted you to come right back to her. And so far, that had worked out.
So, you trusted. Until a walker almost took Glenn's face off.
Jumping to the side, you shoved it off of him, freeing him up to sink the toe of his hammer right into the center of the walker's skull, dropping it down once it stopped grabbing for you. You turned to him, "You good?"
To that, he only answered with a nod. And you fell right back into your places.
"Watch the backside," Rick yelled as he straightened up, exposing a freshly cut entrance in the fence. "Got it," you said, volunteering yourself to take up the rear as everyone else made a break for the opening.
You swung your blade around, knocking down two or three walkers before you heard Rick from behind you. "C'mon," he said, giving you the all clear. You whipped around again, dipping through the opening and careful to avoid the sharp edges of the fence.
As soon as you were through, Glenn and Daryl both worked to seal the entrance up with some extra wire. You caught just as a walker was coming for the two men, acting quickly.
Before it could break through the incomplete fix in the fence and take a chunk out of Daryl's neck, you raised your sword up, aimed and drove it through the wire, nailing it straight in the head before pulling it back again. That gave them enough time to finish it up and tie it off before others got there.
You had so much adrenaline pumping through your veins that this almost seem like a sport to you. But one that you could possibly die from, which made it even more exciting.
When you turned around, you saw that some of the walkers from the field were starting to pile up on the other fence. That was enough convincing for you to start running.
You ran at a steady jog, holding Carol's hand tightly in your free one. Daryl was in the lead, with Rick right behind him and Lori kept in the middle of the bunch, protected as usual.
You all made your way through the path separating the yard of the prison and another fence that blocked off the outside. You had no idea what you'd call it, so you figured you'd just call it the walkway. Point was, there were walkers from the yard still piling up, and they didn't seem to be losing interest.
Eventually, you all got to a gate that would open up from the walkway to the prison yard, where a large guard tower also stood.
With all of you panting like dogs, you stopped and rested your hands on your knees, shocked that you were so winded by such a sort run. You really did need to start eating more.
"It's perfect," Rick said quietly. And you could agree, if there weren't about three dozen walkers strolling around the yard.
Usually, you were pretty good about sharing, but you didn't think the walkers would be as open to it as you were. Which was why you needed a game plan. But Rick was already ten steps ahead of you.
Coming over to you, he pointed off across the yard to an open gate, where walkers would drift through every once in a while. "If we can shut that gate," he started, "Preventing more from filling the yard, we can pick off these walkers. We'll take the field by tonight."
You liked the sound of that, you really did, but you had no idea how you could get that gate closed. If you tried to shoot the ones in the yard down, you would just attract more from in the prison.
Straightening up, you spoke to Rick, "So, how is that gate getting shut?" Rick looked back, opening his mouth to say something before Glenn beat him to it.
"I'll do it. You guys cover me," he said blankly. You looked over at him with a furrowed brow, as did Maggie, who was shaking her head in protest. "No," she said, "It's a suicide run."
Glenn didn't seem to get it, turning and beginning to argue with her, "I'm the fastest here." But, Rick silenced them both, pointing, "No. You, Maggie, Beth, and Carol draw as many as you can over there."
To that, they nodded, beginning to walk off as a group. You watched Carol carefully as she left, squinting your eyes against the sun. "Pop 'em through the fence," he instructed, turning to you and Daryl after that before going over Hershel and lifting the rifle off his shoulder.
"Daryl, [Y/N]," he said, handing over the rifle to you, "Go back to the other tower." You furrowed your brow at that, questioning Rick's choice a bit. He saw it and spoke directly to you now.
"You've become a pretty good shot," he said, letting the rifle go in your hands. "Just keep in mind we don't have much ammo left," he said before you nodded, turning around to Daryl.
"Be careful," you said over your shoulder, to which Rick only nodded. And with that, you were off, jogging down the walkway again with Daryl, the hot sun beating down on your backs. But your bones were chilled with anticipation.
It didn't take long for you both to get to the tower, pausing before Daryl slowly opened the door, raising his weapon up in search for any walkers.
There was some hissing in the dark, which was soon followed by a walker in a faded blue jumpsuit lunging at you both.
Daryl was quick to let loose an arrow, driving it through its soft skull and sending it crumbling down.
"Let's go," he said after that, holding the door open for you. You led the way up the thin flights of stairs, your footsteps echoing through the small area. Daryl was no more than three steps behind you, and quickly followed you out into the sun again when you made your way to the top of the tower.
That was when you finally got an over view of everything there, and when you really saw how much potential this place had.
"Alright," you whispered to yourself, readying the rifle against your shoulder and lining the scope up with your eye.
Just as you saw Rick getting ready for the run, you looked over to your right to Daryl, who looked right back at you. You reassured both yourself and him with a firm nod before lining up the scope once again, eyes glued to Rick.
Then, Lori pulled the gate back, sending Rick off into the yard alone. Most of the walkers by now were drawn over to the fence on the opposite side where Carol and her group was, but there were some stragglers.
You heard the twang of Daryl's crossbow from beside you, and watched as a walker dropped down before Rick's feet. And then he just carried on.
Show off.
You glanced over to Daryl for a second before lining yourself up and locking onto a walker only a few feet away from Rick. You did your best to focus on the walker and squeezed the trigger.
Instead of seeing it fall to the ground, you watched as Rick leapt back before using his own knife to kill the walker. But you were a bit shocked by the tremendous kick-back this thing had.
When you saw Rick look back up at your tower, you yelled out a loud, "Sorry."
With that, Rick continued on. But that was when you decided it could be easier to steady yourself on the railing to support yourself against the kickback.
Leaning forward, you hooked your leg around the railing before aiming again, already feeling a bit more secure. That was when you focused on another walker near Rick.
This time, you gave yourself more time to breathe before pulling the trigger, prepared for the kick-back.
A satisfying sensation passed through you as you watched the little speck that was a walker fall to the ground. Even if you didn't have the thrill of seeing it up close, there was something you liked about this. That was when you really clicked into gear.
Readying it again, you fired another shot, knocking another down, and another, still keeping your eyes on Rick. The only time that you paused was when Rick came up the gate.
You held your breath again, waiting. Just waiting. It seemed like it took ages for him to fasten it on before he ducked over and slipped into the watchtower beside the gate, shutting the door behind him.
"He made it," you breathed aloud, suddenly feeling a spark of triumph and happiness that you hadn't felt for a while. Cupping your hand around you mouth, you shouted across the entire yard, "LIGHT IT UP!"
With that, a shower of bullets left the guns that your group had. Your aim suddenly became crystal, and you knocked down walker after walker.
Everything just seemed to be going exactly right at that moment, and you didn't want a single thing to change.
And, soon enough, Rick was up at the top of the tower across the field, zeroing in on the last walker. And with one loud 'pop', that walker fell to the ground, and there was silence for a moment.
That was when you heard some loud cheering coming from T-Dog, who had his hands up in the air. It made you laugh and turn to the man beside you with a wide smile. And, seeing you, Daryl had a smile grow across his face as well.
Without even thinking, you walked over to him and threw your arms around his neck for a moment, overwhelmed with happiness.
He threw his own arms around your waist for a second, laughing quietly against your shoulder. sounding surprised by you.
It was nice, but you gathered yourself quickly and broke away from the embrace, still holding Daryl's arm for a second before turning around with a quick, "Come on."
The both of you practically flew down the stairs and out the door, jogging down the walkway and back to the rest of your group.
The distance between you and them seemed like a mere few seconds before you rounded the corner, almost colliding with Carol, who's face was lit up with excitement.
"Fantastic," she said, wrapping her arms around you. You chuckled before pulling away and feeling a friendly pat on your back.
"Nice shooting," Daryl said as he walked past you, meeting up with T and Glenn once again. You still smiled as you passed Lori, stopping to check up on her, "You feeling okay?"
She smiled at you with one hand placed on her stomach, nodding, "I haven't felt this good in weeks."
You nodded in return before stepping into the field, instantly filling with a sense of success and calmness blended into your chest. A small chuckle left your body, unlike T-Dog, who loudly laughed and threw his arms up into the air in success.
This was a huge win for your group, and you knew it. This was the first time in months that you had seen some of these people smile. Especially Carl, who looked ecstatic as he ran up next to you.
Throwing an arm over his shoulders, you looked down to him, pulling him closer. "Sharp shooting," you said, ruffling up his hair.
That had been your thing to do now, and you hadn't stopped doing it, even though he was beginning to grow up. Truth was, you didn't want that to happen, but there wasn't much you could do to stop it. But this would be the perfect place to do it.
Grow up and not feel scared for your life every second you were living it. Sure, maybe it wasn't the absolute best, but you couldn't think of another thing to possibly ask for that you weren't given here.
So what if you had to fight a bit for it? It wasn't anything that your group couldn't handle. But you were most happy for Lori and Rick.
Lori could have a safe space to give birth, and Rick could stop his constant worrying. Because you missed him. The real him, under all that hard exterior that was his leadership.
But you knew that he was just doing that to protect you all, and with this new place, he wouldn't have to worry himself with that much anymore.
* * *
Night had fallen, and you were already extremely happy with how your group was cultivating the field. Well, sort of. You all were huddled in a cluster around a fire, roasting your meals over the top of it.
You really felt stuffed compared to the last few days, though you had eaten hardly any more than usual. Maybe it was just because you were that happy and you were too busy to feel the hunger setting in your stomach. But, you were full, warm, and safe. That was all you could ask for.
Carol was resting under the crook of your arm, a blanket wrapped around her and a smile resting on her face. Which made you smile.
You looked down at your bowl, still seeing a few good pieces of meat left in the bottom, barely listening to what T-Dog and Hershel were saying back and forth as your gaze drifted over to the man across the field, standing guard over the field onto of an overturned bus.
After your small victory, you and Daryl had avoided each other for the rest of the day. So, you decided to put a stop to that.
You picked up your bowl and got up from the ground, sighing as your shoulders ached from lifting you up. You rubbed your shoulder with your free hand as you began to make your way across the field to Daryl, who still hadn't seen you yet.
Your eyes landed on the ground before you as you walked, not bothering to look up until you almost ran into the bus. That was when you finally looked up again, seeing Daryl finally turn around to face you.
A moment after that, you looked away and slid the bowl you had onto the bus. Daryl slung his crossbow around his shoulders after that, ignoring the bowl and going to help you up.
You looked up, taking his hand that he offered you, quickly pulling yourself up and standing, waiting for Daryl to grab the bowl before you began to speak.
"It's not much," you said, shrugging a little, "But if I don't bring you something, you won't eat at all." Daryl only acknowledged that with a quiet hum before starting to eat.
"Guess 'Little Shane' over there had got quite the appetite," he said bluntly, which made you chuckle and shake your head, gazing over at him. It caught you off guard that he would say that, but you wouldn't put it past him to say it.
"Don't be mean," you said, though you still had a smile plastered across your face. You wrapped your arms around yourself, hoping that would ease your tightened shoulder a bit, but you had no such luck.
That was when you spotted a familiar figure across the yard, slowly walking along the fence, pulling at some sections every once in a while.
"This is good," you said, nodding and turning back to Daryl, "For Rick, and Lori. For all of us." Daryl nodded, "Mm-hmm." That was when you thought back seven months, the smile dropping off of your face.
"He got us here," you said, "And Shane could never have done that." It was a sore subject to bring up, but you were talking to Daryl, and you could talk to him about anything. You missed talking to him, so you hoped that this would give you both enough time to maybe get your old friendship back on track again.
Crossing your arms over your chest didn't seem to be working to give your shoulder a break. So, you rolled your shoulders a bit, bringing a hand up to rub it a little. You didn't manage to get away with that without Daryl noticing.
He looked at you, brow furrowed now, "What's wrong?" You sighed and rubbed your shoulder still, but not seeming to ease it quite yet.
"That rifle," you said, shaking your head, "And that kickback. I'm just not used to it yet..."
There was a brief silence, and Daryl's eyes didn't leave you, which was strange, but you just went back to staring out over the field.
Then, Daryl set the empty bowl back down onto the ground, stepping over to you as he cleaned his fingers off.
"Hold on," he said after that, motioning you towards him with a quiet, "Cm'ere." Your brow furrowed as he placed a hand on your shoulder, gently turning you so that your back faced him, making you smile a little bit, while still looking mildly confused.
Daryl was your friend, but completely unpredictable at times. You supposed that was what you liked so much about him though.
Then, once you were completely faced away, Daryl placed his other hand on the shoulder that was giving you some trouble, pressing his thumbs into the muscle. His thumbs moved in slow circles, untying the knots that were tangled in your muscle. It felt nice, but you didn't know why he was doing it.
Instead of questioning it, you stayed silent, because it felt nice. You tilted your neck a bit, leaning back into his hands as they worked, feeling some relief spread through your arm for a moment.
Soon, you could hardly feel the knot anymore, but there was something you just enjoyed about it. Maybe it was because it was him.
Once again, you didn't think about it, until Daryl's hands dropped down from your shoulder, and you turned over your shoulder with a small smile and a silent thank you. His eyes darted away from you and back down to his feet.
"Better get back," he said, but seemed a bit hesitant to move away. That was when you decided to poke a little fun at him. He had shied away from something, but you were sure that it was you who made him shy. So, you decided to give him a bit of a hard time about it.
Turning around, you shrugged with a sly smile. "Pretty romantic," you said, instantly catching a suspicious stare from the man before you.
You raised an eyebrow with the same smirk stamped into your expression, "Wanna screw around?"
There was a look of hesitant confusion and surprise on Daryl's face before your lips broke into a humorous grin.
"Pfft," he said, dragging his gaze down to the ground, which made you laugh out loud. Soon after, you heard his own laughter chime in with yours and saw an embarrassed smile cross his face.
He shook his head, but didn't look back up at you as he leaned down, preparing to hop down off of the side of the bus.
"I'll go down first," he said, and you couldn't help yourself after that. He walked right into that one.
"Even better," you cracked, making him stop dead in his tracks and look back over to you with a smile, saying quietly and obviously trying not to laugh, "Stop."
You just gazed at him fondly after that, waiting for him to get down, so that you could as well.
Once he was down, he turned back around and offered another hand, which you took. He knew your ankle was sensitive, and a drop like that could snap it right back out of place. So, he was mindful of that.
You got down, steadying yourself on Daryl's hand before you let it go and started to make your trek back to the group again.
He walked alongside you, sporting a poncho that he had made out of an old blanket over the winter that the group had kind of passed around to whomever needed it. No doubt you had stolen it a few times for yourself, but with this cold, you were more concerned with Carol and Lori and Carl.
But, as you both started to make your way closer to the group, just coming up as Rick was giving Lori another helping of food, you heard faint singing from Maggie and Beth, who seemed to just be drawing their song to a peaceful close.
So, standing on the outside of the group, you crossed your arms over your chest and listened silently, a small smile finding its way back to your face, your face glowing a soft amber in the firelight.
"Goodnight, and joy be with you all," they both ended quietly, holding the last note out for a minute longer, leaving you all in a peaceful silence.
"Beautiful," Hershel said quietly as he sat on the ground between his two daughters, nodding. You glanced down at Carol, who smiled back up at you before turned back around.
"Better all turn in," Rick said from across the fire, sounding exhausted as he spoke. But, turning in sounded light a brilliant idea. "I'll take watch over there," he said, "We got a big day tomorrow."
That made your brow crease a little, not sure what he meant by that. Glenn was the first to voice his concerns though. "What do you mean?"
Rick let his gaze fall back to the ground, which meant he wasn't sure how you all would respond to what he had to say next with usually was never a good sign.
"Look," he said after a while, looking back up to you all again, "I know we're all exhausted. This was a great win. But we have got to push just a little bit more." And that was why he was so nervous about saying the next part.
Just at the mention of pushing, your muscles screamed in protest, but were silenced by your hope for a new home that rested in the prison.
"Most of the walkers are dressed as guards and prisoners," Rick explained, "Looks like this place fell pretty early. It could mean that the supplies are still in tact." That was something that you hadn't thought about much.
Rick paused, letting you all think about that for a moment, and you began to nod after a moment, speaking up with hope.
"They could have an infirmary," you stated, looking over to Hershel, who was looking straight back at you. As the two doctors in the group, that was the best thing that you had heard in months.
Rick nodded eagerly, happy to have people on his side with this, "They'd have a commissary." Daryl was the next to say any thing from beside you, bringing up a question, "An armory?"
Rick nodded, explaining a bit, "That would be outside the prison itself, but not too far away. Warden's office would have info on the location." Rick was very careful to keep everyone's interests peaked, not selling anything short of this place. But, personally, you didn't have hardly any doubt with this prison at all.
Rick listed off what could be in there, face lighting up as he spoke, "Weapons, food, medicine... This place could be a gold mine!" Now, when you looked around, you saw that there were some people that doubted. One of them being Hershel, who was quick to voice it.
"We're dangerously low on ammo," he said, "We'd run out before we'd make a dent." That was true, no matter how much you tried to think around it. But Rick wasn't swayed.
"That's why we have to go in there," he paused after that, nodding slowly, "Hand to hand."
That seemed scary to you; having your group so close to those walkers. You did it on a daily, but that was because you were trained to, even before the break out. But not some of these people.
Some of these people could barely fire a gun, and you couldn't be everywhere at once to help people. What if someone got bit? Would you leave them behind and carry on? Would you try to save them? How could you if you all were being attacked by walkers? No one seemed to be saying anything else, so you assumed you had some of the same doubts as everyone else did.
Still, Rick pressed on, seeing that some of his group was scared. "After all we've been through," he said, nodding, "We can handle it, I know it." He leaned over to his side, placing a hand on his son's shoulder and squeezing it tightly.
"These assholes don't stand a chance," he said with a smile, which was reflected on his boy's face as well. That was when Rick finally seemed satisfied with his work in convincing the group.
You watched as he got up after that, offering one last smile in his direction before you turned away and knelt down next to Carol, who was trying to get herself comfortable.
You took your blanket out of your bag, throwing it over her soon after that, with her smiling back up at you.
Even if it was the middle of the summer and you had a fire going, the nights still got freezing sometimes, and unfortunately, this was one of the nights that was especially cold. But, you worried more about Carol than yourself, as like most of the time. And you knew you'd manage through the night.
Plus, Carl sported your jacket you had given him pretty well.
Taking your bag, you bunched it up and set it on the ground on the outside of the group, sitting down on the ground. Right then, you felt like you were pretty much alone with your thoughts and cold.
Just as you rubbed your arms and looked at the fire, you felt something heavy drape over your shoulders. It made you jump for a moment before turning around and looking to your side. You saw the familiar pattern of the poncho Daryl had been wearing and a tall figure standing behind you.
"Thanks," you said breathily as you pulled the cloth around yourself a bit tighter before sliding along the ground to where your head lined up with your makeshift pillow.
Instead of responding with words, Daryl set his stuff down next to you before sitting down with a heavy sigh. Now, you were both just laying down and staring up at the stars above you both.
There was a bit of a silence before you remembered something, making you dig into your pocket. Even if you tried to keep it discreet, it caught Daryl's eye.
"Don't know if you're one for superstitions" you said as you dug something soft out of your pocket, bringing it up into the firelight.
It was a small brown rabbit's foot, hanging by a piece of leather that you had stitched it into. It was a project that had taken the better half of the day, but after you had all cleared the bodies out of the field and got the fire going, there wasn't much else to do.
Plus, if it wasn't for this lucky rabbit's foot, you all might not have stumbled onto the prison in the first place.
So, you handed it over to Daryl, who took it in his hands and examined it. "Lucky rabbit's foot," he said aloud, to which you shrugged.
"Thought you might like it," you said, looking to him with a small smile. He looked over to you after that again, which made you look back up to the sky, studying the lines of stars.
Seen out of the corner of your eye, Daryl put the little charm into his pocket and leaned back again onto his bag, supported by his arm. Once again, you both just laid back silently.
It wasn't until after a while that Daryl looked over to you again. "Hey," he said, making you turn back over. He nodded, almost seeming to have sensed your doubt from before.
"This place will make a good home," he said aloud, nodding to you. You looked away again, back up to the sky.
"We'll have shelter, a roof over our head," he said, but he was missing a key part in that list. "Family," you said, nodding before looking back over to him.
He was once again looking back down at you, turning away shortly after that. He didn't have a specific response to it before he turned on his side, his back facing to you as he made himself comfortable on the grass.
That was when you turned the opposite way, sitting your backs to each other. With a view of your family sitting around the fire, comforted in each other's embrace, it made you smile.
As you did, you pulled the poncho up to your face, breathing in a comforting scent before closing your eyes and drifting off to sleep. And, finally feeling safe once again.
Chapter 29: Over the Dead Bodies
Chapter Text
"Ready?" You looked at Rick as he asked that question, nodding quickly after.
Your group was huddled in a tight formation around each other, which was made up of T-Dog, Rick, Daryl, Glenn, and Maggie.
The rest stood behind a fence, crowbars and wooden spears in their hands as they waited for your signal.
Your entire group had gotten as much sleep as they all needed, giving everyone enough time to regain their energy for today. Because, like Rick said, today was going to be a huge day for you all.
Without a single ounce of knowledge of what was happening anywhere besides where you could see, Rick planned for you all to take on whatever was inside the walls of the prison.
While that wasn't necessarily the safest way to go, it would work, and it would work quick if everything went your way. Plus, there wasn't any going back by now.
All that stood in your way now were a few dead ones, and you'd easily blow through those with your group having your back.
Slowly, you watched as Rick unclipped the chain that was holding the fence closed, and it was a mere few seconds that you could practically hear time ticking away before Rick finally pushed the fence back with a loud ring.
Almost like a gun had gone off, everyone started to move with each other, ready to take on whatever these walkers would throw at you.
There already were some that were coming for you, with their arms stretched out hungrily, but you had no problem driving your blade right through their soft skulls and bringing them to their knees.
Maggie was right next to you, and Rick was on your other side. All of you worked perfectly together, taking down one after another, almost as if it was choreographed.
Rick was in the lead of your group, as per usual, knocking down a few walkers that you had to step over. "Get tight," Glenn shouted as another cluster of walkers came from one direction almost the same time as some others made their way around the corner.
Your group straightened up into a line, everyone pairing up back-to-back. Daryl grabbed T's backside, and Maggie protected Glenn's. Your back was pressed up against Rick's.
All of you just waited for a moment as the walkers got closer before you all picked your victims to go after, swinging your blades and clubs around your heads, mindful of the others still.
With a yell, you pushed your sword forward as soon as two walkers were lined up, one behind the other, killing two birds with one stone. Glenn took out a walker that was only a few feet away from taking a bite out of the back of your neck.
"Thanks," you said, and he responded with a curt nod. That was when you all went back to your formation. But, T-Dog apparently had some other plans. Something else caught his eye, just as Rick was moving you all along to round a corner.
"T," you whisper-yelled, going over to grab the back of his shirt, but only clutching thin air, "T!" Rick also took notice as T-Dog sprinted off to the side for a riot shield, yelling, "Don't break rank!"
Still, he paid no attention as he pushed a body off of it, "We need it!" You huffed out, catching a walker that was stumbling its way over to T-Dog.
Before it got too close at all, you stepped out of the group and swung your blade around, knocking the monster's head clear off of it's shoulders. The rest of it's body tumbled to the ground in a heap of rotting flesh and bones while the jaw of the monster still moved.
"[Y/N]!" Rick whispered over to you, making you fall back into line as your group moved around the corner, watching Rick still.
Almost as soon as he got a look from around the corner, his back went to the wall and a hand went up to stop you all. As you tried to take cover, you pushed open a door, quickly turning around to check if you had set anything free from inside the dark room.
The rest of the group watched as well, and you let out a sigh when nothing came out of the darkness. But, that wasn't the case for the rest of the open space around the corner.
You watched as two figures dressed in armor slowly made their way out from around a dumpster, making you grip your sword even tighter. Rick hesitantly began to move out from around the corner, but he was met with loud growling and two more identically dressed walkers.
"Shit," he said, raising his arm up and bringing it down, trying to slash through the monster's helmet with his machete that he had, but it only bounced off with a dull thud, with him pushing the walker away from him after that.
Daryl, who was standing just behind you, fired a shot after that, aiming for the other walker's head. But, just like the machete, it ricocheted off, not even leaving a dent. At this point, you had two invincible walkers on you, and two more coming.
Not to mention, the gate that was letting in all of the other walkers was still open. You weren't going to ask how it could get worse, because you didn't want to find out. Too late.
Just after that, you heard muffled growling coming from behind you. That was when you leapt back and away from the door, spinning around just before a walker with an oxygen mask grabbed you.
But, before it had a chance to, Maggie took a hold of it and tore it away from you. You realized soon after that that you were the only one left to run for the gate. And, if need be, that's exactly what you would do.
So, with one final sigh, you unclipped the clasps from your friends belt quickly, holding them in one of your hands as you made a dash for the gate, running head-on to the walkers.
When one got too close, you swung your other arm around and slashed through its skull, kicking some of the walkers down and back to the other side of the gate. "Hey!"
You heard someone yell from beside you, which automatically gave you some hope that someone had your back, Lo' and behold who it was.
Daryl grabbed the gate to the fence, sliding it closed, leaving you to fasten the clasps. It didn't take long, but by the time you were done, something had grabbed a hold of Daryl's vest.
A walker had its fingers dug into the cloth of Daryl's vest- the one with the angel wings that you absolutely loved- and was pulling him closer, holding him against the wire, but Daryl pushed himself away.
In one fluid motion, you raised your weapon over your head and brought it down heavily, hacking off the walker's arm and giving Daryl the opportunity to back away, which he gladly took. You couldn't celebrate just yet though.
Most of your group was still fighting the walkers with the armor behind you, and from your view, you caught something that you were too startled to notice earlier.
Maggie was still fighting one when you yelled out, "Maggie!" It caught her attention as she pushed the walker away from herself again giving you the chance to yell, "Up and under!"
She gave you a bit of a confused look, which made you a bit worried. But, just before the walker she was fighting with got to her again, a sudden flicker of realization struck her expression.
Reaching up, Maggie lifted the vizier of the helmet, wedging her blade under it and up into the walker's head, making it tense up before dropping to the ground. That was what really caught the rest of your group's attention.
Eventually, Maggie turned to the rest of you with an ecstatic smile spread across her face, "See that?"
Then, after that, T-Dog and Glenn teamed up on one of the last walkers, while you and Daryl assigned yourselves to the other.
Reaching over its head, you were careful of the deadly jaws that snapped under the vizier as you tilted it back, watching as Daryl drove a knife deep into the walker's skull. And with that, your group knocked out the remaining walkers with ease.
After the last walker was down, you all just stood around for a second and looked around with excited and bewildered expressions.
In your head, which you kept to yourself, you couldn't believe that you all had come out of that alive. There were well over fifty walkers in that area against the six of you, but you all managed to take them out. It felt good, and empowering.
So, you all started to make your way back to where your family on the other side of the fence could see you. Glenn began to pick up his pace as you all rounded the corner, seeing the rest of your group on the other side with relieved looks.
"Stop." Rick's command halted him in his tracks, turning him around after that. Glenn shrugged and stated, "Well, it looks secure." He didn't seem to see something wrong with letting a pregnant woman into someplace that hadn't been locked down yet.
Glenn was one of your closest friends here, but seriously, he needed to think stuff through sometimes. After Daryl rounded the corner as well, he was quick to point out something off in the distance.
"Not from the look of that courtyard over there," he argued, pointing behind you. That made you remember something.
Turning around, you pointed to one of the walkers on the ground, "And that's a civilian. Unless they were opening this place up for sanctuary, this place isn't completely sealed off. And, that means that the interior could be overrun by walkers..."
You sighed and stuck your thumbs into your belt loops, looking to Rick for what to do next. He nodded, seeming to see some knowledge in what you were saying and using it to make the next call.
Glenn just shrugged again, "So, if there's walls down, what are we gonna do? We can't rebuild this whole place." Rick sighed, shaking his head, "We can't risk a blind spot." He turned and pointed to a door, which led into the main building, "We have to push in."
That struck you bit, making you look back at Carol, who couldn't quite hear what they all were saying. But, when Rick started to walk over to the door, you could see the blatant worry cross over her face, along with Lori's. You let out a sigh before following the rest of your group.
It was Rick who entered first, then Daryl, then you, with Maggie and Glenn behind you, and T-Dog bringing up the rear with the shield.
As soon as you opened up that door and stepped into the prison, the strong smell of death hit you like a brick, but it took you less than a minute to get used to it.
It was what you had been smelling for roughly two years now, just a bit stronger, but it wasn't just the smell that was concerning you. It was where it was coming from.
With a cautious speed, all of you filed into the small room, with nothing but barred doors on every other wall. Not the actual cells, but you could tell they were close.
That was when you read a huge sign on the wall. Cell block C. Home sweet home, hopefully.
As Daryl went for the door on your left, and Rick went for the one in the middle, you took the one on your right.
With silent steps, you drifted over that way, flashlight in hand. You shouldered the door open, flicking on the light before slowly raising it.
Other than steady dripping, you heard nothing and assumed that this was just another hallway to a different cell block. Something you weren't quite ready to take on.
The light that filled the room before slowly faded out as T closed the door that you had entered in, and you made your way back to where Rick was. The door he pushed open let out almost a painful squeal as it scratched along the hinges.
Slowly, Rick filed down the thin line of steps, followed by you, and then Daryl, Glenn, T, and Maggie. You had no idea what this place of the prison was called, but it had a large watchtower against the wall, and doors that led to the actual cells of the prison. Maybe somewhere where they would do roll-call. You honestly had no idea.
So, slowly, you all split off into different paces to search for walkers or places that were compromised at all. Everything was silent. So, you looked over your shoulder at Rick, giving him a nod.
He did the same, looking up to the watch tower and gesturing up with his machete, silently saying he was going to check it out. You nodded again, and Daryl seemed to see that as well, making him raise his crossbow up toward the tower just in case.
Even from here, you could see a figure slouched over in a chair. You didn't know if it was a walker or not, but you weren't going to take any chances with it, and neither were Rick or Daryl.
So, Rick started to make his way up, machete at the ready as he got closer to the door. You were ready at the bottom of the stairs as well. If something were to go wrong, and the walker got past both Daryl's and Rick's weapon, if Rick pushed the walker down the stairs, you'd be ready for it.
Your heart skipped a beat, and you held your breath as Rick stepped into the confined space with the possible walker.
Through the cloudy, blood-spattered glass, you saw Rick use the blade of his machete to poke at the body, prodding it. You could just picture in your head it sitting up and lunging at your friend, to the point where you were sure it was real. But, after you snapped out of it, you saw that nothing had happened, and Rick was just fine.
You caught as he lifted up a set of keys that jingled in his hand, which you relaxed to.
Quickly, he made his way down the stars and past you to the door of the bottom set of cells. Everyone else crowed around behind him, waiting for him to unlock and open the door, which didn't take long at all.
All of you walked in after that, looking around and observing what was inside the cell block, which looked like an absolute mess. Daryl took the lead, to which you followed. He took to searching the top floor, while you searched the bottom.
The first two cells were clear, but the third struck you as odd. There was a body hunched over in the corner with it's brains four feet above him, splattered all over the wall. It was strange, until you made a connection from what you had seen, very early in the apocalypse.
In the very beginning of the apocalypse, you tried to get back to the hospital to gather up supplies and things like that and find your family and get them out of there. But, when you got to the hospital, you were very quick to leave.
The army just rolled through there and lined the sick people up along the walls, like a firing squad and executed them, along with the doctors and nurses that tried to save their patients.
That's what must have happened here. Even if these were convicted murders, you felt a sting of pity. But, you supposed that was merciful in the whole scheme of things in this world.
So, you moved onto the next cell, and then the next one, checking everything out before looking up to the second level and giving Rick the all clear.
He nodded and continued on with his check for anything in the cells on the second floor of the block, which seemed pretty clear until they got to the last two on the top, where some walkers jumped out at them both, but they didn't seem to be too startled by it.
Instead, they just chose their walkers and took them out, one after that other. That was when something touched your arm to get your attention. "Let's move these bodies out of here," T-Dog said, shaking his head and looking at the executed prisoner in the cell in front of you guys.
"I don't think this kinda thing screams 'family friendly' to me," he said, which you agreed. So, before the rest of your group could get in, you and T-Dog started clearing out the bodies.
It didn't take long at all for you and T to both clean the bodies out, and just as T was cleaning out the last body, Glenn and the rest of the gang walked in with their supplies tucked under their arms.
You saw Carol and smiled at her warmly, seeing the relief and hope in her eyes already from having someplace to really stay. You barely heard Rick come up behind you, sighing and speaking softly to you, "What do you think?"
You turned around, seeing the deep bags of purple resting just below his eyes. Smiling, you answered, looking up to your leader with the loving eyes of a sister, "Home sweet home."
When he looked back down at you, you knew he could tell that you were thankful. You supposed for these past months, he might have been doubting himself or his leadership. And you wanted him to know that if he turned back into his old self, you wouldn't doubt him for a second.
You loved him and were proud of him, and you wanted him to know that and be proud of himself. That was why you were so happy to see the hints of a smile cross his face.
"It's secure?" That was when he finally took his gaze off of you and looked back at who spoke. Lori looked at him with an eyebrow raised, to which Rick shrugged and responded, "This cellblock is."
You saw some of the fondness drain away from his face, which made your smile fall as well, and there was a small silence for a few moments, before Hershel asked, "What about the rest of the prison?"
Rick answered quickly, already seeming to have thought out a plan for what he was going to do, "In the morning, we'll find the cafeteria and infirmary."
That wasn't really an answer, but you knew that Rick wouldn't want to put anymore fear and uncertainty into their minds. And that was why you thought of him as such a great leader for this group; he put their best interests in mind before his own.
That was something else that Shane could never have done.
But, Beth still seemed a bit hesitant as she asked, "We sleep in the cells?"
Once again, Rick slightly avoided the question, but where else we you supposed to sleep? Beside, these looked like the comfiest beds you had ever seen, so you weren't going to complain.
Rick nodded over to Daryl," I found some keys off of a guard. Daryl's got a set too." Your gaze flickered up to the man who was still standing on the level above you all just before started to speak.
"I ain't sleepin' in no cage," he said, which you could expect to come from him. He looked around and nodded off towards the stairway, "I'll take the perch." Rick didn't protest to that, and it seemed to set everybody else off on their own way.
"Come on," Carol said to Lori, who didn't follow her too far. So, you decided to go and find your own cell.
You'd probably either room with Carol, or maybe T-Dog or Carl if Carol wanted to stay with Lori. Really, you could care less who you roomed with. You just wanted to get to bed after all of that excitement.
You felt exhausted, barely able to keep your eyes open now that you realized it. It even seemed like a it of a struggle to lift your foot high enough off of the ground to get up the stairs. But, soon enough, you got up.
You decided that it would be best to take a cell near the stairs, in case something got through, and you wanted to protect Lori, Carl, and Carol as much as you could. So, you walked into a cell, looking over and slinging your bag up on top of the top bunk.
A loud clang came from the outside, making you turn and step out slowly, leaning on the doorway. Daryl set down his bag onto the metal ground, and threw the poncho that you had used earlier over it.
You tilted your head so the it was resting against the doorway as well, "You want a mattress at least?" That made aryl turn over his shoulder a moment before he shook his head.
"Nah," he said gruffly before laying down and back onto his bag. You nodded after that, though you stayed rest on the doorway for a moment. That was when you caught the sight of one lone figure sitting against the wall below you.
Rick leaned back against the wall, his eyes closed, and his shoulders dropped down. He looked relaxed, in a way. And you knew that getting his group somewhere safe was a huge weight lifted off of his tired shoulders. And you were thankful.
* * *
After a few hours of napping, you woke up to someone gently shaking your shoulder.
"Rise and shine," you heard someone say gruffly, to which you groaned a bit, but got up without too much protest. You rubbed your tired eyes and blinked awake, "What do you want, Dixon?"
You could already tell who that was with no problem at all, and didn't even have to open your eyes to know for sure. You felt something heavy get dropped into your lap, which jostled you awake with a heavy exhale. It was your bag, which had been plopped right onto you.
"We're going out to look for that infirmary and armory," he stated, not giving you much of a choice. But, you were pretty open to looking for that. The sooner the better, though the armory part struck you as odd.
You opened your eyes, furrowing your brow, "Won't the armory be outside the prison?" Daryl shrugged, standing in the doorway of your cell, "Guards will still have some weapons on them. Should be able to find at least something."
With a nod, you stood up and grabbed your sword from under your bed before straightening up and walking to Daryl, "Then let's go."
Daryl nodded and started off, with you close behind him, hurriedly making your way down the stairs. "Where do you think you're going?" You slowed your pace, realizing you forgot who was guarding the door.
Rick shuffled his way to his feet, coming up to you and Daryl with furrowed brow. Daryl looked back at you before glancing at Rick again, "We were gonna go out. Look for some weapons, maybe find the infirmary."
Rick still looked skeptical about that, shaking his head a little, "Alone? We-- We don't even know what else might be in the other parts of the prison. It's--" You cut him off with a soft voice and friendly look, "We won't go anywhere we can't handle, but we need that infirmary."
After that you glanced over your shoulder towards the cell that Carol and Lori we staying in.
"We need that medicine for when she gives birth, and that could be any day now," you finished, looking back at Rick, who started nodding slowly, and looking down at the ground.
It was true, you needed the medicine, but bandages more than anything. You'd just keep that to yourself though.
"Well," he said, seeming to give before turning around and starting to go for his machete again, which was laying on the ground, "I should go with you, you might--"
Daryl was quick to protest to that, beating you to it. "Nah," he said, holding his crossbow firmly in his hands as he shook his head, "You just rest here." Rick turned around after that, opening his mouth, but again, Daryl beat him to it.
"You should rest," he said, nodding, "You got us this far. Shouldn't have to do all the work around here." Rick's gaze drifted away for a moment, and you took this turn to reassure him.
"We'll be back before you know it," you said lightly with a smile before turning to Daryl and nodding. He looked back at you, then to Rick, who just nodded slightly.
"Alright," he said softly, turning back around to go back and slide down against the wall and get some more rest in, though you doubted he had slept for at least a few days. Still, it was better than him having to worry about something that you and Daryl could easily handle.
Plus, you wanted to get a look around at this place.
Daryl once again took the lead, opening the cell block door, and quickly taking off after you had closed it. You followed behind him at a jog, sword in hand as you both climbed the stairs to get where your group had already come in.
Once you both were in the entryway, Daryl paused and looked at both the doors on either side of the room. That was when you remembered how the one on your right seemed pretty clear when you came in, so you figured it was a good place to start.
You gestured over with your sword, getting Daryl's attention again. "That way seemed pretty clear when we came in," you stated, and Daryl nodded.
Both of you walked over there, and you took the lead this time, shouldering the door open with a creak.
There was a moment when you both just sat there and waited for something to come out of no where, but nothing did, so you carried on.
Daryl waited for you to walk in, shutting the door behind you both in case something did manage to get past you guys. Or, if you both ran into a group of walkers, it couldn't get back to the group, but you didn't think too much about that.
"Okay," he said in a bit of a whisper, and pointed down towards your right, "Let's go down this way." You nodded, and Daryl gave you a bit of an explanation why.
"Pretty sure that way leads down to another cell block," he said, "And it could be overrun." That was what you had thought earlier, so you were all for going down that other way.
Raising your flashlights up, the both of you started to stroll down that way, which seemed pretty quiet. You figured you'd heard walkers well before they got too close to you both, so you started to make some small conversation.
"The infirmary should be pretty close to these cell blocks," you stated, "Can't imagine everyone was all 'kumbaya', even before the apocalypse."
Daryl responded in a hum, still searching around for a while, and you both were dropped back into silence.
You caught sight of some bodies hunched up against a wall, checking them before you pulled some bulletproof vests off of them. Wasn't like they needed them anymore. It was a while of just walking and searching around before Daryl actually said something else to you.
"When do you think Lori's gonna pop?" That was a question that you had been thinking about for a while. With a sigh and some obvious hesitation, you answered honestly.
"She's overdue," you said simply, "By about a week." You knew next to nothing about childbirth, but you knew this at least. Anyone who knew anything about how babies work knew that Lori should have given birth roughly a week ago.
That statement made Daryl turn around with a furrowed brow, slowing his speed to walk next to you.
With another sigh, you were ready to go into a bit of a sore subject for you. Anything regarding childbirth was a bit hard for you to talk about, but the reason for it was even harder.
"Lori had Carl with a C-Section," you explained, holding back a cringe at the thought, "So, she's probably going to have to have this baby the same way."
That made Daryl almost come to a stop, looking at you with a scrunched face. You scratched the back of your neck, "And that's why we need to find the infirmary so badly. We need bandages, and lots of them before Hershel can do something like that and keep Lori alive."
You absolutely loathed talking about this kind of stuff, but it was something that you wanted to get out of your system. You couldn't talk to Carol about it, for reasons you both knew. You sure as hell couldn't talk to Rick about any of this without sending him into another coma.
So, if you wanted to talk to somebody, you went to Daryl, if you actually were talking to each other at that point in time. You turned around and forced your expression to harden a bit, but you wouldn't meet Daryl's stare.
"What?" That was all that came from him. You rubbed your face a little bit, shrugging, "Hershel's gonna have to do something like that. I would have no idea how to do something like that, and he's done it on animals at least."
There was another tense silence, and you thought that you would have both finally moved on from this. But, Daryl seemed extremely concerned with something, which was rare for him to show, but it was pretty obvious right now that something was bothering him.
Then, he asked a question that opened up a whole new wound that had been sealed shut. He stepped up, brow still low, and asked, "How much of a chance does that kid got?"
You shut your eyes, letting your hand rest on the back of your neck for a moment before taking in a deep breath and finally answering as honestly as you could.
"A hell of a lot more than Lori does. And even that isn't much..."
That was when you shrugged and added on, trying to get the conversation off of that exact topic, "Should make a run to a store or something at some point. Find some baby formula just in case."
You both looked at each other for a moment after that, and you saw something change in Daryl's expression as he came closer to you with a look of disappointment in his eyes, practically hissing out, "Why the hell would you say something like that?"
You looked at him with surprise and confused expression, "What? That she might not make it? The hell do you want me to say? You want me to lie to you?" Daryl gestured out, raising his voice a bit, "So you're givin' up on her then?"
You shook your head after that, "I never said I was giving up! But I guess I'm the only person living in the real world then."
Daryl stepped closer, almost shouting now, "Guess that's what you're really like then, huh? Always so ready to give up on people!"
Honestly, this was coming out of nowhere for you, and you couldn't see why he was getting so upset. You pointed to him, shouting back, "You're one to talk, Dixon! You and the rest of them who just gave up on Andrea like that! Forgot about that already?"
Daryl's eyes lit up in furry after that, making him shout back at you, "You got nothin' on me! Telling me I give up." You scoffed and turned around, shaking your head, but Daryl wasn't done. Not even close.
"Guess you forgot about Sophia then!"
That made you freeze up instantly, like a spike had been driven up into your spine. "Tellin' me to stop lookin'," he continued, but you barely heard him, "THAT WAS YOUR COUSIN, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!"
Just after that, you heard a sickening growling coming from beside you, making you turn and look to your side. Muffled behind a door, you heard pounding and growling coming from behind a closed door.
Moving quickly, you raised your sword up and slowly walked towards the door, completely ignoring the man just a few feet down the hall from you. It sounded like it was only one, and the label beside the door read 'Janitor's Closet'. So, you figured it was only one.
You slowly turned the doorknob, opening the door quickly and soon seeing a figure lunge out at you.
With ease, you drove your blade into the creature's head, making it sink to the ground when you pulled the sword out from between it's eyes. Your jaw was clenched almost painfully, and you almost missed what was in the back of the closet.
A bag was tucked into the corner, right next to an automatic. That caught your attention, which you desperately tried to keep off of Daryl, or more so, what he said.
Without a word, you ducked into the closet, sliding your sword into it's holster before bending over and slinging the bag over your shoulder, taking the automatic weapon in your other hand.
Then, with one more quick look around, you left the closet, kicking the door shut behind you and waking back down the hallway.
By now, you had completely forgotten about the infirmary. You couldn't let yourself spend another moment with this man.
If he wanted to still look for the infirmary, fine. He could look by himself. Maybe, he'd get himself lost. But you could only hope.
You didn't bother to try to hear any footsteps from behind you, and you just speed-walked down the hallway as fast as you could, making it to the doorway to the entrance and back into the cell block way, where Rick and T-Dog were standing.
They both looked up at you, their eyes immediately going to the bag, gun, and vest that you held in your arms. On the desk in front of them, there lay three more vests out across the table.
You hurried up to the table, just setting the stuff down without a word and walking past the two of them, almost colliding with Hershel as he walked out of the cell block and towards where Rick and T were standing.
Once you got into the cell block, you went up to your cell and opened your bag, checking the contents for any extra bandages you might have missed.
As you were doing that, you felt your jaw begin to clench tightly again and your fists ball as you came up empty.
"Dammit," you whisper yelled, throwing your bag down to the ground and pacing slowly around your room for a moment before you heard something quiet from the door of your cell. "[Y/N]?"
You turned after that, hearing Beth's soft voice as she stood there, innocently looking at you with her huge, doe-eyes. You sighed, gathering yourself together, "Yeah?" She shifted her weight and looked over her shoulder, "It's Lori, she wants to see you."
Your brow furrowed a little, but you nodded, figuring this was pretty important, and something you could use to take your mind off of things.
Silently, you walked past Beth and made your way downstairs, jogging over to Lori's cell. As soon as you stepped into the cell, you could tell there was something seriously wrong.
She looked up at you with her familiar, wide-eyed expression of hers as she sat of the edge of her bunk-bed, hands clutching the sides of the bed. Carol was also sitting beside her, rubbing her back.
"What's wrong?" You walked over and knelt down in front of the bed, looking from Lori to Carol and back. Lori seemed to be trying to regain her breath, keeping her voice quiet.
"It's the baby," she said, eyes locked on you, "I think I lost it." You blinked quickly, fighting back a tidal wave of emotions and sour irony.
Finally, you gathered yourself again and raised your eyebrows in question, "You haven't felt it move?"
Lori shook her head quickly after that, obviously trying to keep her voice from breaking, "Nothing. And no Braxton-Hicks." You bit the inside of your cheek, listening to Lori, who still continued, and you could feel Carol's stare on you, but you knew you couldn't keep yourself together if you looked back at her.
"At first, I thought it was exhaustion," she said, "Or malnutrition." That was when you furrowed your brow and asking her to remind you, "You're anemic?"
Lori nodded after that, lowering her gaze again, as well as her voice. "If we're all infected," she said, barely over a whisper, as if she didn't even want to say it, "Then so's the baby."
That was something you had never even thought about. You never thought of what could happen if Lori really did loose this baby, but that opened up another door of horror to you.
Lori looked back up at you, "So what if it's stillborn?" You couldn't come up with an answer fast enough before Lori went on. "What if it's dead inside me right now? What if it rips me apart?"
You shook your head, commanding firmly, but quietly, "Stop." You looked at her still, shaking your head and forcing yourself to mean what you started to say, "You can't let your fear control you, okay?"
Lori sniffled and wiped her nose, nodding, "Okay." You still knelt there, knowing that she wasn't finished with what she and to say. "Let's say it lives," she suggested, "And I die during childbirth."
That brought up the conversation from before fresh in your mind. And, how even you were starting to feel a bit horrible for what you had said earlier as well. So, you shook your head and cut Lori off, forcing yourself to believe what you were saying as well.
"That's not going to happen," you stated simply.
Lori, on the other hand, didn't seem convinced. "But if--" Leaning forward, you placed a hand on her knee, looking at her with determination flaring in your gaze.
"Lori," you pushed on firmly, "I won't let that happen. And, if something were to go wrong, you can trust me. Okay?" Lori let out a shaky breath, looking at you for a moment, nodding quickly.
"But I won't have to," you said, keeping a reassuring tone. Though, after that, Lori still argued back, shaking her head, "How many women died during pregnancy before modern medicine?" Your shoulders sunk a bit, and you rolled your eyes with a sigh.
Leaning forward, you raised your eyebrows, "You know who doesn't give a shit about that?" Lori looked up at you after that, and you placed a hand on her stomach, still looking up at her, "This baby."
A smile drifted over her face after that, which made you smile back in somewhat relief.
"Alright," you said, moving a bit closer to Lori now, and able to see Carol smiling from beside you both, "Let's check this out."
Even after you said that, you started to believe it a bit, which made you keep thinking about the conversation that you and Daryl had earlier, but you'd sort all that out later.
* * *
About fifteen minutes later, you and a chunk of your group started to suit up to go out for a run around the prison to try and find the infirmary, or at least something useful.
Some of your group were putting on the bulletproof vests, but ones like Rick, Daryl, and yourself refused to use those, leaving them for the others. You were busy helping T-Dog fasten a vest over himself, pulling it tightly once it was on him and securing it.
Daryl was setting up his crossbow just a few feet away from you, and you took that chance to sneak a few glances in his direction.
Neither of you had said anything to each other since your interaction in the tunnels, and you wanted to keep it that way.
So, you kept yourself occupied with Lori, and making sure that she was okay. She was malnourished and exhausted, but you couldn't really say anything on the baby's part quite yet.
But, it worked, and you had not even thought about it ever since. Until him and Rick came right up to you after that, telling you that they needed you to go out with a whole group expedition to search for the infirmary.
Once you finished fastening T up, you turned around, watching as Carl was lifting up a dirty helmet. He tried to where it, but it slid down over his eyes before he could look back up at you.
That was when you turned around and looked up, seeing Lori look out over the lot of you and at Carl with a worried look. You blinked before turning around and walking over to Carl, placing a hand on the helmet to lower it down and bring Carl's attention to you.
"You won't need that," you said with a small chuckle, taking it in your hands and placing it under your arm. Carl furrowed his brow, looking confused. You stood by what you said, "We need you to say here, okay?"
Carl scoffed, still with a confused gaze, "You're kidding?" You raised an eyebrow, pausing for a moment.
Over that long break on the road, you and Carl grew close, hanging around each other when Rick wasn't around and when Lori was probably off getting sick. So, you had become more of an aunt to him. And, Carl knew not to give you any back-talk.
You shrugged and shook your head, "We don't know what's out there." You walked forward, putting emphasis on your words with a soft smile, "If something goes wrong, you could be the last man standing."
Carl blinked at that, and you squeezed his shoulder a bit before standing up, "We need you to handle things here." You smiled still, which made Carl look back up with a matching smile when he saw yours.
"Sure," he said with a nod, and you chuckled before patting his shoulder and turning away, going to slide your sword into your holster.
When you turned around, you met Rick's gaze. He had a grin, which made you chuckle a little and look down to your sword.
After a moment, you had a feeling that someone else was looking at you again.
Sure enough, when you looked back up, Daryl was looking in between you and Carl, even holding your gaze after he met it. He seemed pretty focused on something that had to concern you and Carl, but you couldn't imagine what he as thinking about.
Besides, you didn't care. You had something else to worry about now anyways, so you wouldn't let him get in your head.
"Alright," Rick said, making you take your gaze away from Daryl's and hurry towards the door of the cell block. "Let's go," he finished, walking through the door, to which you quickly followed after him.
Just as you were all about to leave the room and go back out into the entryway, you heard the cell door slam and lock behind you. That alone made you feel a bit safer, since it was only Lori, Carol, Beth, and Carl that were staying behind to guard the place.
Hershel would usually stay behind with them, but he insisted on going along with you all. That was the only part that you were really worried about.
You had little to no knowledge of how Hershel held up his farm before you got there, or what he did before everything went wrong, but from what you gathered, he wasn't the strongest branch on the tree.
But, with all of the new weapons that you had found that were inside the bag, you had more than enough plan B's if you all got into a situation that you all couldn't handle.
Plus, you all would be together. A few more walkers than normal wouldn't stand a chance.
The group decided that they would explore deeper down the other side of the prison, where you and Daryl hadn't checked yet. It was a bit nerve racking, but it didn't scare you much. You knew that you had a group to look out for each other.
Rick was the first to enter the room, followed by you and then Daryl. What was different about this side from the other was that there was a large door down the hallway.
Rick stepped forward, looking back and checking on the rest of you before he turned the key in his hand and pushed the door open with a loud screech. You all waited for a moment, listening before slowly moving forward.
You had your flashlight raised, along with the rest of the people that had them, filing your way down the hallway silently. You could hear a pin drop in there with how silent that you were being, but a pin wasn't what you were listening for.
Rick slid his back against the wall, and you moved next to him, waiting for him to turn around and shine the light down the hallway, and Daryl had his crossbow at the ready.
You all counted to three in your head before turning around and aiming your weapons down the hallway. Nothing.
Letting out a quiet sigh, you all moved down that hall as well. And, most of these bodies that you saw had that same bullet hole in the back of their heads as the one's upstairs.
From what you could guess, this either looked like some kind of isolation room or death row.
Plus, some of the bodies looked eaten, so that had to have meant that there were walkers down there, so you would have to watch out. Just the sound of Glenn using the spray can made Maggie and Hershel jump.
What made you jump was when Maggie and Glenn bumped into each other, causing Maggie to shriek out.
You whipped around and focused your beam on them, expecting to see one of the bodies latched onto her foot. But no, it was just Glenn. She mumbled a quiet apology after that, to which you let out another sigh.
If there weren't any walkers that had heard you, there would definitely would be some heading your way by now.
After that, your group just started making their way down the hallways again, searching the rooms and walls for any sign for where the infirmary might be. But, nothing came up, and that was when you got to the end of the hallway. You didn't think much of it, until you rounded it.
You were the first to go around, not even giving much thought it until you were inches away from a walker that snarled and lunged at you.
"Shit," you said, driving your blade up and to whatever it could reach. It ended up sinking deep into the walker's stomach, which didn't falter it's attack.
It's jaws clicked only inches away from your face, and you pushed as much as you could to drive it away from you, but it only got closer and closer. If it tried much harder, you knew you were dead meat. That was when something broke through the snarling, silencing it.
A loud twang sounded, and the walker fell limp on your blade with an arrow protruding out of it's left eye. Then, something grabbed your forearm and pulled you away with a gruff, "C'mon!"
Daryl ripped you away from there, and that was when you got a good look at the walkers that were now also flooding through the hallway.
Rick jumped in front of you both, taking out a walker as Hershel hurried over to the both of you and Daryl, who were now backing down the other way.
T-Dog followed after him, getting Rick to bring up the end. You followed Daryl down the other way, making sure that T, Hershel, and Rick were close behind you all. But, you were so shook up that you didn't even realize who was missing from that band.
Before long, Daryl veered off into some vacant storage closet, to which you all crouched on the ground. That was when you got a good look at who was around you, sparking a question, "Where's Glenn and Maggie?"
Hershel shook his head, speaking quickly, "We have to go back." Daryl sighed, obviously frustrated with loosing them in the halls, "Which way?" You shook your head, shrugging.
"We got separated at that hallway," you said, nodding, "We should check there." Everyone else looked to Rick before he nodded firmly, supporting your decision, "Alright, let's get back there." You nodded, starting to get up and go for the door again.
Opening it slowly, you checked for walkers on either side, but the coast seemed to be clear. "Okay," you whispered quietly, taking the lead this time, with Daryl behind you and at the ready. You peaked around a corner, nodding once you saw that it was clear.
With that, everyone filed down that way, with T-Dog and Hershel last. Hershel would call out quietly every once in a while, but you couldn't hear any response coming back, so you just kept on going.
All that you could really hear was your speeding heartbeat and the footsteps that continuously beat through the corridors. You were just hoping to hear some familiar voices instead, though the outcome didn't look great. Still, you just wanted to find somebody.
You weren't about to just start the trek back up to the cell block and hope that they would figure out how to do the same. No, you would stay behind and search for them alone if you had to. You weren't about to lose more people. Over your dead body.
Plus, you didn't think that you were the only person to think that way.
That was when something broke through your heartbeat and the sound of footsteps, but it wasn't something welcome to you at all.
A sickening, agonizing scream echoed through the halls, calling every walker from miles around, but that wasn't what you were concerned about.
Turning back around, you bolted down the hallway and to where you once were, looking at the horrific sight before you. Hershel had a walker latched onto his calf, and was knocked down onto the ground.
"NO," Rick screamed, raising his gun up and firing it without hesitation. There was no point in being silent now. Now, you just had to get Hershel out of there and alive.
Hershel wailed and screamed, making you rush to his side. Just as you were only a few feet away from him, you saw two figures round the corner.
At first, you were certain that they were walkers, but at a second glance, it was Maggie and Glenn with mortified looks on their faces. Maggie wailed at the sight of her father on the ground, and Glenn just stood there with a shocked expression.
Right now, everything that could go wrong was going that way.
"Quick," you said, slinging one of Hershel's arms over your shoulder and helping him up, "We got to get him out of here." And, just like you had predicted, walkers started to flood in from the hallway ahead of you.
Rick was on the other side of him, and quickly started to turn around, yelling, "Go back!" But, that way didn't provide much help either.
Now, walkers surrounded you, except for another way, which everyone was forced to go down.
You and Rick were in the lead with Hershel, followed by Maggie, T, and Glenn, with Daryl protecting your backside. You had no idea where this hallway would lead, and you prayed to God that you wouldn't be met with anymore walkers. And they were answered.
Rounding the corner, you were met with another set of double door, which you quickly kicked at. With the lock being rusty and your adrenaline racing, the lock on the door fell to the ground, along with the chain.
"In here," you yelled, pushing it open and bringing Hershel into the center of the room, which looked to be the cafeteria, but right now, it was for surgery.
You brought Hershel into the center of the room, laying him down onto the ground and sitting back, breath heaving. He still screamed and groaned, but you ignored that as you folded back his pant leg, exposing a dark, fleshy bite wound on his upper calf.
You just stared at it for a moment before coming up with something. "Okay," you whispered, "Rick?" Rick's gaze whipped over to you, ready to do what you said.
That was when you fiddled with the belt around your waist, breath shaking as you spoke, "Get your axe."
Soon, he put the pieces together and knew what you wanted him to do, and even he seemed unsure about it.
"It's the only way to keep him alive," you said, finally getting your belt off and wrapping it around Hershel's leg, just below the knee.
You had never had to perform an emergency amputation before, but, this was Hershel's only chance to live, and you would do whatever you had to do to keep him alive.
"Okay," you whispered once you secured it, looking over to Glenn, Maggie, and Daryl, who all knelt around you, looking for what to do next.
"Hold him down," you said firmly, pulling out anything that you could find in your bag to use as a bandage, eyes locked on Hershel's leg still before Rick nodded and raised his ax.
He breathed heavily, his arms shaking for a moment, and you prepared yourself for it as well, having to silence Hershel's cries from your mind. But, no matter how hard you tried, you could silence everything.
A loud hacking sound made you flinch, and the sight before you wasn't any better. Rick drove down the metal wedge into Hershel's shin over and over again.
Eventually after that, even Hershel stopped crying, which worried you more than anything. His eyes shut after that, and he leaned back into Maggie's lap, who was still crying uncontrollably at what was happening.
It seemed to go on forever before Rick finally stopped, pushing the amputated part of Hershel's leg away with the edge of the blade.
Immediately, you forced yourself into your doctor state of mind, pressing the towels against the open wound, already feeling thick, warm liquid ooze through the cloth. You sighed and shook your head, yelling, "He's bleeding out."
When you looked up, you saw that Daryl was across from you, his eyes locked on something else for a moment before he whispered to you under his breath.
"Duck," he commanded, but you obeyed, lowering yourself down.
Just as you did that, Daryl shot up, aiming.
With that, you looked over your shoulder, seeing five large figures standing along the serving counter, fingers laced through the fence.
It was a while of tense silence as the men stood in the beam of the flashlight before a little scrawny one piped up, saying something that you were sure could sum up this entire day.
"Holy shit."
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TheOneFromTheForest on Chapter 4 Tue 21 Jan 2020 05:48PM UTC
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TheOneFromTheForest on Chapter 14 Tue 04 Feb 2020 11:23PM UTC
Last Edited Tue 04 Feb 2020 11:24PM UTC
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LeBoof on Chapter 22 Sat 04 Apr 2020 05:25AM UTC
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