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The best thing about the Resistance's new base was the water. The former Imperial mining installation was, like all abandoned Imperial facilities, showing its age with broken conduits everywhere, the main doors still wouldn't close, and Rose had been working on the comm tower for three days without luck, but the water system from the vast freshwater lake nearby worked beautifully.
The shower was warm and she was still not over how luxurious it felt to have that water in her hair, on her face, running down her body -- and not be panicked that she was wasting it. She drank some, since it was fresh, but as the stream rinsed the shampoo from her hair, letting the water flow down her body to the drain felt delightfully decadent.
Through the bond she felt a distant amusement and she had to smile, because of course she was wrong -- the water was great, but the best thing about this base was Ben.
They had ended Palpatine together, shoving him back into the Force where he belonged, then Ben got on the comm to the First Order, and now.... there were still Sith Fleet ships out there that got away and Remnant Order ships chasing them down, but Ben was here, commanding what was left and trying to make things right.
It was a new galaxy and Ben Solo was new in it, and she couldn't bear how beautiful he had become. He moved easy and fluid in his skin, and the way he talked to his fleet made her skin shiver. He kept his grandfather's saber on his belt, and wore plain tunics and pants a little too short for his legs, but he still drew everyone's eyes to him when he stood in the command center, tall and strong at the heart of the storm.
Rey closed her eyes, remembering that moment Ben had pulled the saber from her hand through the bond and fought the Knights like a demon of lethal grace.
As she remembered, her imagination shifted what really had happened into a new, much more interesting version...
The battle ends differently with Ben's shirt in tatters and he pulls it off. He clasps her to his chest to kiss her, his tongue against hers, the muscles of his thighs and chest warm and taut under her hands. His hands are on her bare shoulders, then sliding down -- cupping her breasts.
It was her own hands she was feeling and the water, but in her mind, they are Ben's hands, his fingers on her nipples, and she shudders and licks her lips.
As her hands smoothed down her stomach, the imaginary ones change, his warm palms become leather and his presence chills, swirling with the Dark Side.
Are you wet for me, scavenger, that modulated voice shivers down her spine, and his masked visage is close, as his large dark body presses her against the shower stall. Her lips part, panting, and his gloved hands slid over her hips and down her thighs before slipping between and rising back up.
Have you been a good girl for me? He whispers. And even though her own fingers were slim, in her imagination his gloved fingers are thick pushing inside her, deep and hard, lifting her up on her toes, as his palm presses into her mound. She bit her lip on a moan as those fingers probe her, teasing her clit until she wants to whimper.
Are you a naughty scavenger? Kylo's voice purrs in her ear. Do you like the dark, Rey? Do you want it?
"Yes, yes, please," she whimpers.
Then come for me, Kylo orders, and the sharp wave crashes through her....
Panting, she leaned against the wall and eased her hand free. Her legs were trembling with the effort to keep herself upright, and it took a few moments to calm down and finish her shower.
She slicked her damp hair into a single ponytail at her nape and went to find him.
He was in the command center, talking on the main screen to Captain Peavey, who had command of the Majestic. Ben didn't notice her at first, dividing his attention between Peavey, the status board, and something Connix was telling him. The lights gleamed in his mane of black hair and on the pull of the grey shirt across his shoulders. Was she ever going to get used to seeing Ben like this? He was such a different man now. With Palpatine dead, he was free. She loved to see it, but she did feel sad for the years he'd lost and that his parents had never really known him, not like this.
"Okay," he said, his voice jerking her attention back to him, even though he wasn't talking to her. "Take your ship to Mon Cal. If Pryde's going after the shipyards, we have to stop him. Dameron's already there, and I'll dispatch Emergence to join you."
"Yes, sir. Understood."
Peavey signed off and Ben turned to find her, sensing her presence.
The memory hit her of her own fantasy: Are you a naughty scavenger? Do you like the dark, Rey? Do you want it?
Not Ben, Kylo. She'd had a sex fantasy with Kylo in it. She'd wanted the darkness; she'd wanted that thrill of danger, of being commanded. Her cheeks felt hot, her breath caught, and she turned and hurried out. She remembered herself just enough to wave awkwardly with one hand, and another over her mouth as if she was sick.
She sensed Ben's sudden concern and he started to follow her, but Connix called after him that Lando was on the comm. Ben turned back and Rey was able to escape. She ran to the repair hangar.
Heart pounding, cheeks still aflame with embarrassment, she hid under the B-Wing that was currently in five pieces and buried her face in her hands.
How was she going to ever face him again? After Ben had gotten free of Kylo, how could she ever admit what she'd imagined?
Do you like the dark, Rey?
She did, she had. She'd wanted his hand in that throne room. She'd wanted to sit there with him, to be his empress, to revel in the dark. It had been her own fear of that desire that had made her run, not a lack of wanting.
But she could never tell Ben. He'd fought so long and hard to come back to the Light, it would be unfair for her to say - well, actually, I had this fantasy for Kylo Ren, can I get him back for a little while?
She could never admit that. He'd never understand, she didn't even understand. What was wrong with her? She'd kissed Ben and it had been glorious. Their bond had come to brilliant light and it had been perfect. She didn't need Kylo, so why had she slipped into that fantasy of his mask and his gloves and his over-robe pressed against her bare skin?
She would just have to keep away from him for a little while, and clear her head.
No problem. She could do that.
She couldn't do that.
Every time she looked at him, when she caught a glimpse down the hall or across the dining room, the only thing that filled her head was Are you wet for me, scavenger? And the feel of his gloved fingers and the sound of his breathing in the mask and the sense of the Dark Side all around him (delicious, arousing... Maker, so wrong)...
And she had to flee, unable to bear the thought that he might catch a glimpse through the bond she was trying so hard to keep closed.
The only reason she got away with it at first was because he was trying to arrange the defense of Mon Cal from the Sith Fleet attack. She noted even through her avoidance that Finn's hostility had slipped away as Ben's tactical ability, even at this distance, won them the victory.
Ben came looking for her after that, tugging on the bond to find her, and she had to scuttle beyond his reach until he gave up. The thread of disappointment flared briefly with an alarming darkness before he retreated beyond her immediate sense, and she grimaced.
This wasn't what she wanted. It was stupid, and she knew that before Rose sought her out to ask what happened. Rey couldn't answer, her own folly and lack of control staring her in the face, but she squared her shoulders and went to find Ben.
He was training in the ore processing plant, a rickety structure meant to last only so long as the Empire could pull coaxium out of the mountain beneath her feet. She had thought he was doing lightsaber forms, since the sense of him was doing something repetitive, but instead he had made the maze of steel supports, catwalks, and tubes into his personal gym, pulling himself up the sides with only his arms, overhand crossing beneath the catwalk, and then flinging himself across empty air to climb a different tower.
He wasn't wearing a shirt, and Rey watched, dry-mouthed, at the play of muscle in his shoulders and back. He was working off frustration she caused, she knew, and she wanted to interrupt and apologize, except she also wanted to watch.
She stood in the shadows, hand sliding down the front of her leggings to ease the seething energy building there. She bit her lip as Ben flipped off the catwalk to catch himself, his body slamming into the support beams hard enough to shake the whole structure.
Her fingers reached her slick, and she drew an unsteady breath. He was climbing again, and each slap of his hand onto the next bar as he pulled himself up made a quiver against her fingers.
Yes this is normal, she thought, but as if the thought conjured its opposite, that mechanized purr was back in her ears.
Do you want the Dark, desert rat? You do, he added and gloved fingers pushed hard into her.
She pulled her own hand free and stumbled back, while above Ben startled and would've fallen except for a last-minute grab one-handed. He twisted enough to look straight at her. Their eyes met across the air, sizzling like his old saber blade, and she panicked.
"REY!" He let go and dropped to the ground, but she was already gone. He called her name again, but then thankfully she felt nothing.
She spent a restless night in the landing bay, torn between dreams of Kylo Ren stalking her with a lightsaber and wakeful certainty that Ben was pacing his quarters.
In the morning she poked her head into the dining hall and found it strangely deserted. There was Rose thankfully, and Rey darted in to grab a tray and plopped down on the bench.
Rose poked at her cereal without appetite, which Rey finally noticed when she had finished her own bowl. "Rose? Everything okay?"
Rose turned to look at her, searching Rey's face for a long time, before biting her lip. "You don't know?"
Rey tore off part of the roll with her teeth and finally prompted when Rose didn't continue. "Know what?"
"You... haven't been in the command center this morning?"
"Nope. Came straight here after training."
Rose inhaled and explained, "Ben's leaving. Finn's going with him. They're going to run the fleet from the Majestic."
The roll slipped from Rey's fingers to her plate. He's leaving me he's leaving he's abandoning me why is he -- "Why?" was all that emerged from her throat.
"He said it was to coordinate the counter-attack more easily, now that Mon Cal's safe, but..." Rose trailed off and looked uncomfortable.
"Rose."
"That you don't even know he's leaving is kind of the answer, isn't it? I don't know what happened between you two, but it seems pretty obviously the reason."
"Because of me?" Rey asked, her voice small, and she stared blindly at the remains of her breakfast.
"I haven't heard the shuttle go, yet," Rose offered. "There's still time."
"No. No, I -- I ruined it," Rey whispered. "I was ... I don't even know. Embarrassed. Afraid. I don't know. But I-- I don't want him to think I don't...."
Her voice patient and kind, Rose interrupted, "Rey? If you don't want him to leave like this, tell him. Right now. He needs to hear it, because I think he's afraid you don't really care about him."
"No! Of course not!"
"Then go," Rose pushed lightly on her shoulder. "Go!"
Rey scrambled off the bench and hurried for the hatch, tossing back over her shoulder, "Thank you, Rose!"
Rose rolled her eyes but smiled with affection, waving Rey to go.
Rey opened the bond as she ran for the landing pad, tasting Ben's emotions - resigned, sad, lonely - and Rey ran faster, determined to get to him before the ship could go.
The Resistance's sole Upsilon-class shuttle sat like a bird of prey on the landing platform, as the pilot cycled the hyperdrive. Ben was the only one standing at the foot of the ramp, as if he was waiting for something, before he turned and headed up the ramp. He was wearing a cloak and it billowed in the wind behind him, and before she could think twice she held up a hand and grabbed that cloak with the Force, halting his ascent.
"BEN."
He turned around and watched her hurry across the platform with a stony expression that sat poorly on his face.
She stopped on the platform. "Ben, wait."
"I'm due at the Majestic in two hours for a conference. I would have told you, if you hadn't been avoiding me for three days."
She winced. His tone was flat, but the pain she could feel was her fault. She had to make this right. "I -- I'm so sorry. I couldn't -- It wasn't anything you did, just me, but it made it hard to face you."
A frown knit his brows as those deep eyes focused on her intently. "What did?"
She didn't want to say it, but she had to. Cheeks feeling hot, she dampened her lips and looked down, "I had a -- not a dream, I wasn't asleep. But you were -- I mean, we were, together." She swallowed and gestured, meaning it more vague than it turned out, making an airy pumping gesture. HIs eyes widened seeing it and she wanted to sink into the basement.
"I was... embarrassed," she admitted, then raised her eyes to his trying to be brave and truthful. "But I shouldn't have run. I just didn't know what to say."
"I think you've done fine," he answered, voice terribly dry. But she was relieved the hurt seemed gone, and she tentatively smiled, glad when his lips echoed hers.
"Do you want to come to the conference? You should probably be there, too." A little confused but pleased, she shrugged and nodded. Then she yelped in surprise as he took two steps down the ramp and swept her into his arms, one arm under her knees and the other behind her back.
She laughed and hung an arm around his neck to help as he carried her into the shuttle. "Ben!"
"I have to keep you from running away," he joked, but when his eyes met hers, his were serious. Then, very deliberately, he leaned his head against hers and murmured in her ear, "Have you been a good girl, desert rat?"
She shivered violently at that echo, before she realized, "You heard?"
"You let a little bit slip. I didn't understand why you were running from it, I thought you ... didn't want me," he confessed, voice cracking just enough to break her heart.
"No," she straightened and put a hand on his cheek so he would look at her. "I do. I was just... It was the mask, the darkness. I didn't want you to think I -- I felt -- that I only wanted that part. Or I regretted you finding the light again. Ben, please, believe me. It was just a fantasy and I was ashamed--"
His grip tightened. "Never, never feel ashamed," he said roughly. "Not of things like that. I'm not spun of glass, Rey. And as much as I wish I never became Kylo Ren, the fact is, I'll carry that with me. The Dark Side is as much a part of me as the Light is, but I'm free to choose now. And I choose you," he kissed the side of her face and she wiggled to get more upright, so he had to let go of her legs and let her down.
She held the back of his neck to pull up so she could kiss him properly on the lips. "And I choose you," she whispered. "I'm so sorry I chased you away."
"HEY!" a loud aggrieved voice cut in, and she pulled back to crane her head around Ben's shoulder to see Finn standing there, hands on his hips, glaring. "If the Jedi can move their fighting or whatever they're doing to inside the ship so we can go?" he demanded. "Unless you want to stay here, your supreme leadershipness?"
Ben rolled his eyes. "I'm not--"
"Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time. It's still a lie. Move it, you two." He stomped back inside and Rey laughed.
"You know, I have private quarters on the Majestic," Ben offered, with a false casual tone and his lips quirked in humor.
"Oh. Oh really?" she asked teasing.
"Sorry I can't offer the mask because that thing's at the bottom of the sea," he said with mock disappointment.
"Gloves?" she asked abruptly, the word tumbling out, and she bit her lip, looking down suddenly embarrassed again.
His bare finger tilted her chin back up and his smile made her insides warm. "Oh yes. Gloves I can certainly provide for my very naughty girl."
His voice deepened on the last two words and she felt the bolt of sheer desire. "Ben..." He had her figured out, and she wondered... how could he still want something, someone, so ... pedestrian? So base?
"Hey." He tenderly framed her face, tilting it up to him. "Everything I am, Dark and Light, is yours. It's always you, the other half of my soul. Remember that."
Reassured, she melted into him, mouth against his in promise.
They were together and nothing else mattered.
And soon... oh yes, soon, she would be Rey the Scavenger in thrall to her deliriously Dark Prince with the beautiful leather gloves.