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There are two people in this world that know Todd Brotzman is a hopeless romantic; Dirk Gently and Reese Mann. Even Todd himself doesn’t realize what a sap he is. He cries at romantic movies, buys the cutest gifts at the dollar store simply because they reminded him of Reese, and he can’t go a single day without telling Reese how happy he is that he has him in his life. Reese, of course, adored this about Todd. He couldn’t get enough of it. They say the honeymoon phase only lasts a few weeks and then the spark dies, and the relationship just becomes routine. But it’s been months and Reese can still feel his heart glowing when he thinks about Todd. (To be exact, it’s been 5 months 2 weeks and 6 days since they got out of Blackwing, not that anyone was counting.) Maybe Reese was just as romantic as Todd, because he knew their first Valentine’s Day together had to be perfect. And in order for it to be perfect, he needed to recruit some help.
Dirk was hesitant, of course. Setting up the perfect date for Todd didn’t sound like a walk in the park. But he agreed, because he was just starting to get along with Reese. They were friends, or something close to it, and he wasn’t ready to screw that up. So he and Reese planned everything down to the very last detail. Dirk had to assure a nervous Reese multiple times that Todd would love it. It was their own version of a big romantic gesture, without any of the public humiliation. It was perfect for Todd.
Todd didn’t expect anything big from Reese. They had both agreed that Valentine’s Day is just like any other day. Why make a big deal out of it when you can just go to the store the next day and buy a truck load of discounted candy? The plan was to spend the day eating junk food and watching cheesy romantic movies. Since they were in between cases, they both felt they deserved a nice and relaxing day. But when Todd woke up Reese was nowhere to be found. It wasn’t too strange for Todd to wake up without Reese, he was an early riser and Todd liked to sleep in until noon, so Todd didn’t think anything of it. He got dressed and wandered into the kitchen, the smell of strawberry pancakes wafting through the air.
“Good morning sleepy head.” Dirk greeted from the stove. He scooped a pancake out of the pan and onto a plate. He passed it to Todd “Just in time. Breakfast?”
“You made pancakes? What’s the occasion?” Todd took the food despite the small fear of eating anything Dirk cooks.
“Reese asked me to make you breakfast. Said he wanted you to have something nice even though he wouldn’t be here to give it to you.”
Todd sat at the table and poured syrup over his plate. “Where is he?”
Dirk shrugged. “Haven’t seen him. He just texted me a few hours ago.”
“You’ve been making pancakes for that long?”
Dirk’s face turned pink with embarrassment. “There were a lot of failed attempts. Don’t look in the garbage bin.”
Todd chuckled and began to dig into his breakfast while Dirk quickly cleaned up his mess and ran off to his bedroom. When Todd was finished eating he texted Reese, asking him where he was with no response.
Dirk came out of his room, holding something behind his back. “Do you have any plans for the day, Todd?”
“I was supposed to spend the day with Reese.” He looked up from his phone. “What’s behind your back?”
“No idea. A surprise. If you can answer this question correctly.”
“Okay?”
“What is Reese’s favorite song?”
Todd didn’t even need to think about it, Reese sang it all the time. “La Vie en Rose.”
Dirk smiled and handed Todd the small envelope he was hiding.
Todd looked at it quizzically. “What is this?”
“I told you, it’s a surprise.”
“Dirk, what’s going on?”
“How should I know? Open it and find out.”
Todd sighed and opened the envelope. Inside it was a piece of paper with Reese’s handwriting.
hi bAbe. happy valentine’s day!
i’m Glad you got thE first questioN right. ClearlY, it wOuld have been a bit embarrassing iF you hadn’t. anyway, i need you to FInd some things (inCluding mE) around the town. you’ll know where to look. good luck.
Todd reread the note ten times. “Dirk, what the fuck does this mean?”
“I told you, I don’t know. I’m just here to hand you envelopes.”
Todd groaned and read the note again. As he stared at it, he noticed something strange about the way it was written. Random letters were capitalized. He grabbed a pen off the counter and wrote out the capitalized letters at the bottom of the note.
“Agency office. Does that mean the next thing is there?”
Dirk shrugged. “Only one way to find out.”
They ran down to the office, just on the floor below their apartment.
“So what am I supposed to be looking for?”
“A gift of some sort,” Dirk said as he sat at his desk. “Oh wait. I wasn’t supposed to tell you that. Ignore everything I’ve just said.” He swiveled his chair around so he was no longer facing Todd.
Todd rolled his eyes and began to assess the room. Nothing out of the ordinary stuck out. He went over to his own desk and sat down, inspecting it carefully. “Can’t you give me some sort of hint?”
“I cannot. I know nothing.”
Todd groaned. As he went to stand up to search somewhere else, his foot bumped into something under the desk. He grabbed the wicker picnic basket and looked inside. It was empty.
“Is this it? An empty picnic basket?”
Dirk jumped up and spun around, holding yet another envelope. “Good job! This is for you.”
Todd took the envelope and wasn’t surprised to see another note written form Reese.
you’re doing Fantastic. i coUldN’t be more proud. i Know You Don’t like ROaming around from PlaCe to plAce, but you only have a FEw more stops to go. have fun and don’t forget to bring the basket!
“Looks like we’re taking a trip to Funky Drop Cafe.”
Dirk smiled brightly. “Oh! I’ll drive!”
“Listen, I can’t die before I get to the end of this scavenger hunt. I’m driving.”
Dirk pouted for a moment but agreed to be a passenger when Todd told him that he’d buy him a hot chocolate at the cafe.
27 minutes later, Dirk and Todd were sitting on the stools at Funky Drop. It was one of their favorite places to go. Todd had brought Reese to this cafe for breakfast too many times to count. The food was good and Dirk couldn’t get enough of their hot chocolate. Lydia Spring worked there, too, which was another reason they continued returning. Todd often wondered why she worked there, considering how rich she really is. But when he asked she simply said, “I just needed something to pass the time.” That seemed to be a good enough reason.
Lydia walked over with Dirk’s hot chocolate in hand. “There you go Dirk, extra cocoa, extra cinnamon, extra whipped cream. Just the way you like it.”
Dirk held the mug under his nose and took in a big wif, smiling like a child. “Oh, Lydia, you’re perfect.”
She shrugged, “I try my best. So what brings you nerds in today?”
“Valentine’s Day!” Dirk beamed.
Lydia’s eyes narrowed as she glanced back and forth between the two of them. “But I thought…”
Todd shook his head. “Yeah. No. Not us Valentine’s Day. Reese, did he leave anything here for me?”
Her eyes widened in realization. “Oh! Yeah! But he told me not to tell you where it is.”
“Can I at least know what it is?”
“Nope. That’ll be $4.85 for his hot chocolate.”
After paying, Todd went searching over the cafe. On top of a bookshelf in the back he found a loaf of bread with a little red bow stuck to the packaging. He brought it back up to the counter with Lydia and Dirk.
“Bread. The man leaves me bread.”
“And this,” Lydia added as she passed Todd yet another envelope.
Todd opened it and read it. “Okay, he wants us to head back to Farah’s apartment. That one can’t be too hard.”
“Can I get another hot chocolate for the road?” Dirk begged.
“Why are you asking me?”
“I left my wallet at home because you said you’d pay.”
Todd caved. “Yeah, go crazy.”
Lydia hurried off to get Dirk his drink. When she came back Todd handed her the money. “Though, I’d like to be buying drinks for my boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.”
Dirk’s face fell for half a second before he plastered on another smile. “Thank you, Lydia.” He got off the stool and marched out of the cafe.
Todd felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He wished Lydia a good day and followed Dirk outside.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking when I said that.”
Dirk took a sip of his drink. “It’s fine, Todd.”
Todd sighed. “I guess I haven’t thought much at all today. Is this weird for you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Going around with me on Valentine’s Day while I get things left to me from my current boyfriend. That can’t be easy for you. If you wanna duck out, I understand.”
Dirk stood a light straighter and took a deep breath. “Todd. Part of loving someone means you want them to be happy, right?”
“Right.”
“And Reese makes you happy?”
“He does.”
“Then I have nothing to feel weird about. So, Farah’s place?”
Except you just said in more or less words that you still love me. Todd cleared his throat in order to stop himself from saying his thoughts out loud. “Yeah. Farah’s place.”
The drive back to the apartments was a quiet one. Todd didn’t know what to say. His mind was spinning. Did Dirk still love him? And if he did, what was Todd supposed to do about that?
Farah was really bad at hiding the food Reese had left in her fridge. She’s not the best at keeping secrets, she kept glancing over to the fridge every five seconds when Todd was asking her questions. So he found lunch meats and cheeses and other sandwich toppings.
“I told him not to trust me and he did anyway,” Farah said apologetically. “He left this as well.” She gave Todd another envelope when he was finished putting everything into the picnic basket.
three Down three to go! I hope you’Re having fun. i Know it’S hard work But thE pay off is granD. i’m suRe yOu and i will gO for ice creaM once this is all over.
“Okay next up is Dirk’s bedroom. Thanks Farah!” Todd ran out of Farah’s one-bedroom and down the hall to his own apartment.
Dirk followed. “You’re having fun with this, aren’t you?”
“This is all kind of adorable. I can tell he put a lot of thought into it.” Todd said as he unlocked the door.
“Also you get food at the end of all this. That’s gotta be a plus.”
Todd chuckled. “You know I can never turn down free food.” He wandered into Dirk’s bedroom and found what he was looking for immediately.
“I was a little confused about this one. I thought you didn’t like Oeros.”
Todd grabbed the package of cookies off Dirk’s bed and put them in the basket. “Golden double stuffed. My favorite. I don’t like classic Oreos. So where’s my next clue card?”
“Actually, before we get to that, I want to tell you something.”
“Is it fast? Because I have a handful of things that need to be eaten or put back in the refrigerator.”
Dirk shook his head. “Never mind. It’s stupid. Let’s just move on.” He spun around to leave.
“Wait. I was joking. What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Dirk.”
Dirk turned back around slowly with a sigh. “I need you to know that I’m happy for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I just don’t want you to think that I should feel weird about this. I’m not upset or anything that you’re dating Reese. I’m happy that you’re happy.”
“Then why are you acting weird?”
“Todd, if I wasn’t acting weird you’d think there was something wrong.”
Todd nodded. “Yeah, you’ve got a point there.”
Dirk smiled and passed the next envelope over to Todd.
The next note almost led them on a wild goose chase to find the Rowdies, the next gift seems to be in their van. When Todd asked Amanda where they were he got an even weirder response. They were somewhere close, that was all Todd could get out of it.
Just before Todd could ask if Dirk wanted to drive around until they found them, they heard a loud screeching sound coming from below their window.
Dirk and Todd ran over to the window to see what the noise was. Down in the street the Rowdy’s van was parked up on the sidewalk, and Bart’s little blue car beside it.
“Oh good. They’re on time,” Dirk marveled.
When they got outside to greet the Rowdies, Amanda jumped out of the van.
“Hey baby brother, how’s it hanging?”
“I’m older than you.”
Amanda pouted. “Todd. Are you really trying to tell me that time is real?”
Todd shrugged. “I guess not. So I’m told you have something for me. Or you’re hiding something for me?”
“Yeah so the thing is, Reese left us with food, which was a huge mistake on his part. Beast ate it.”
Beast stuck her head out of the window and waved.
Todd laughed. “That really doesn’t surprise me.”
“But I did manage to keep this safe for you.” Amanda handed him another envelope.
i know you didn’t get something from the rowdies, But thAt was to be expected, they can’t be tRusTed with food, so i have a back up. just go find your last gift and then you’ll be on your way to me.
“Thanks, sis. You’re a lifesaver.”
“Was that sarcasm?”
“Well, my next stop is with Bart, and she’s terrifying.”
“She’s also behind you,” a rough voice announced behind Todd.
Todd jumped and spun around. “Hey! Hi Bart.”
Dirk and Bart broke down laughing at Todd, as anyone would.
“Okay. Yeah, you got me.” Todd admitted. “Can we move on now?”
Bart removed a red blanket from around her shoulders and passed it over to Todd. “This is for you. Enjoy.”
Todd took the blanket. “That’s it? I thought I had to go looking for it.”
Bart was already walking back toward her car. “I don’t have time to wait for you. I got things to do. People to kill. You know how it is.” She got into her car and drove off, still halfway on the sidewalk.
Todd looked down at the picnic basket in one hand, blanket in the other. “So what do I do now? I’ve found everything.”
“Get in and find out.” Martin suggested.
Everyone piled into the van and it drove off with a roar. They were definitely driving in circles around town, but Todd wasn’t going to question it. There was a method in the madness, surely. After nearly an hour, Martin pulled over and turned off the engine.
“It’s your final destination, baby brother,” he announced. “Get out.”
“That sounds terrifying, Martin. But that’s for the ride.” Todd opened the door and hopped out of the van.
Dirk followed him. “Wait, before you go. I almost forgot.” Dirk reached into his pocket and pulled out a little box. “I found this under the couch and it seemed important.”
“Oh my god,” Todd gasped. He opened the velvet box, the bracelet was still inside. “I thought I lost this.”
“What is it?”
“It’s my gift to Reese. Thank you, Dirk.”
Dirk smiled tightly. “My pleasure.” He turned to get back in the van.
“Hey, Dirk?”
“Yeah?” He spun back around, his nervous smile still stuck on his face.
“Thanks for everything you did today. I know you said you don’t feel weird and that you’re happy for us, but it couldn’t have been easy. It was pretty awesome of you to help Reese set all this up.”
Dirk’s smile relaxed and became genuine. “It was definitely a learning experience. Now go. The love of your life is waiting.” Dirk climbed back into the van and it spun off before Todd could blink.
He looked around him and realized they had dropped him off at a park. There were a handful of couples already there, having their own picnics or playing with their kids at the swing set. The grass surrounding the park itself had hearts spray painted all around to celebrate the day. And sitting in the shade under a tree was Reese, waving to Todd across the sea of people.
Todd found his way through the very small crowd. “Hey stranger.”
“So, how was it?” Reese nervously asked as he stood up.
“You’re a genius,” Todd gushed. “It was a lot of fun.”
Reese leaned in and kissed Todd. “I’m glad you liked it.”
“I do have one question,” Todd mentioned as they spread out the blanket and sat down. “Why did you have Dirk help you with all of it?”
“I thought it would be a good opportunity for you two to talk. I’m not going to pretend I don’t see how awkward you two get around each other. You needed a push. Did it work?”
Todd paused in thought for a moment. “Yeah, I think it did. We talked a little bit, but it’s a step in the right direction.”
Reese smiled with pride. “Then my plan worked!”
Todd chuckled. “You know, most guys wouldn’t be so happy about their boyfriends spending Valentine’s of all days with their ex.”
“Well, did you cheat on me in any way shape or form?”
“No.”
“Then why wouldn’t I be happy that things are going back to normal between you and your best friend.”
Todd’s heart was glowing again, as it always was with Reese. And that made it glow a little bit brighter. “God, you’re so amazing.”
Reese shrugged. “Besides, it’s only 1 in the afternoon. You’re mine for the rest of the day.”
They broke out their sandwiches and started eating. They talked about how they missed each other through the day, and laughed when they realized Reese forgot about drinks. A few ants crawled around them and Todd fell a little more in love when Reese gently guided them away from their food and sprinkled some bread crumbs on the ground for them. When they finished eating they laid down and looked up at the branches in the tree. There weren’t many leaves, but at least it was cloudy enough so the sun wasn’t in their eyes. Reese rested his head on Todd’s chest, Todd had an arm wrapped around Reese. It was a simple picnic, but it was the most romantic thing Todd had ever been apart of.
“I have something for you.” Todd confessed.
“I thought we said no gifts.”
Todd laughed. “You’re one to talk!” With his free hand he reached into his pocket and handed Reese the box.
Reese sat up, inspecting the velvet box anxiously. “Todd. What is this?”
Todd pulled himself up. “Open it. Find out.”
Reese opened the box and a bright smile erupted on his face. Inside was a gold chain bracelet, holding a small rectangular plaque with a date engraved on it. “That’s the day we got out of blackwing.”
“The day we were finally free.”
Tears pooled up in Reese’s eyes. He jumped forward and wrapped his arms around Todd. “I love it. I love you.”
It was a moment of pure happiness. There are very few of those in life. But this moment was perfect, and Todd wanted to stay in it forever.