Work Text:
soul mate
/ˈsōl ˌmāt/
noun
noun: soulmate
- a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.
—
Clarke:
Clarke’s heart broke when she found out what happened to octavia. But it broke her heart even more to see bellamy in so much pain. Octavia meant everything to Bellamy. He promised his mom that he would take care of her. The moment he finally forgave her, she was ripped away from his arms. It’s been a month since octavia disappeared, Bellamy believes she’s dead now.
Clarke sits at the bar at the tavern. She knows she’s been drinking more after loosing her mom. She feels more numb then heartbroken right now. She still hasn’t been able to process everything, She feels a presence behind her.
“Mind if I join you?” A female voice asks. Clarke turns her head and she realizes it’s Raven. She gives her a small nod. Raven sits down on the stool next to her. “I’ll have the same thing she’s having.” She asks the bar bartender.
Clarke takes a sip of her drink. “So how have you been?” She asks. Raven shrugs her shoulders. “I’ve been better, the pain in my leg has been getting worse. After those six years on the ring the pain subsided but once we got back to the ground it got worse.”
Clarke knows her leg is never going to ever get better. She knows raven is going to have to deal with this pain in her leg for the rest of her life. “I’m sorry to hear that, did you go Jackson so he could check it out?”
Raven looks down at the floor for a second then looks back up and shakes her head. “No... but I’ve been through worse I can handle it.” Clarke hates seeing raven go through pain and not doing anything about it. She knows she’s been through worse but why won’t she try to fix the pain or make it hurt less if she can? “Raven-“ she cuts clarke off. “It’s okay Clarke, I’ll be fine, But let’s talk about you though. I’m worried.”
She wants to lie to raven. To tell her everything is fine but it’s not. She’s not okay. “I’m fine.” Clarke mentions. Raven gives her a confused look. “Clarke you are not fine. You have bags underneath your eyes, it looks like you haven’t slept in days. You are constantly drinking.”
She’s right, she hasn’t slept in days because she keeps having nightmares on loosing her mom. She has been drinking to subside the pain. She can’t even look at raven in the eyes, she just nods. Raven rests her hand on top of Clarke’s palm. She gives a small squeeze.
“I’m here for you okay, I have been such a shitty friend to you but I want to make it up to you.” A small smile forms on her face, but Clarke just nods. Raven slowly gets up from the stool. “I gotta go meet emori in the workshop, but we can catch up later okay?”
Clarke nods. “Okay, see you later.” Clarke turns around and faces the counter. She lets out a sigh. Clarke doesn’t know how to forgive herself. She blames herself for her mother’s death. She doesn’t know if she can move on from this.
—
Later that evening after dinner, Clarke decided to sit by the pound outside of the palace. She just looks at her reflection in the water. She can’t even recognize herself anymore.
A monster. That’s who she is. She runs her hands through her hair and she feels someone sit down next to her on the bench. “Hey.” A male voice says.
She realizes it’s Bellamy, he’s been going through a rough time too. Ever since Octavia went missing, he’s distances himself from everyone but Clarke. She hasn’t seen echo and him together much lately. Not in the past month.
“Hey.” She responds. Bellamy rests his hands in his lap. “Rough day?” He asks. Clarke nods.
“Yeah me too. I could barely get myself out of bed.” Clarke just gives him a sad look. “I just wish we would stop loosing the people we love and care about. It feels like never ending.”
Bellamy shrugs his shoulders. “Me too, sometimes When I look up at the sky I wonder if she’s really out there alive, maybe in a different universe I don’t know...” He chuckles.
“Yeah me too. The whole idea doesn’t make sense for her to disappear into thin dust just like that? I really hope she’s alive but maybe somewhere better. Maybe somewhere peaceful.” clarke responds. Bellamy gives her a shy smile. She decides to change the subject. She wonders how echo is doing since she hasn’t seen much of her lately.
“How’s Echo doing? I haven’t seen much of her lately?” She asks shyly. Bellamy frowns when she mentions Echo. “Echo and I broke up about three weeks ago...”
Clarke doesn’t know what to say. She thought Bellamy really did love echo. Did he just want some distance? Or was there another reason. “Oh, I’m sorry.” She responds.
Bellamy shrugs his shoulders. “It’s okay, we just decided we weren’t right for each other and we both want different things.” He adds. Want Different things? What does that even mean? Clarke thought to herself...
“Do you wanna go back to my room for a bit? To hang out since it’s kinda getting chilly outside now?” She offers. “Sure.” Bellamy responds back.
—
It was about 11 pm, in planet alpha time when they finally got up to Clarke’s room. Clarke took Josephine’s bedroom, Gabriel insisted for her to take it. He thought she deserved a good place to rest after what she’s all been through.
Madi got her own room as well, but sometimes she comes over to spend some time with Clarke.
Bellamy just stands there awkwardly when clarke sits down on the bed, facing him.
“Here have a seat on the bed, it’s fine” she offers. He offers and sits down next to her.
“I haven’t slept in days... everytime I do I wake up with a nightmare about loosing my mom.” She adds. Bellamy frowns. “I haven’t slept well either, because I keep having these dreams about Octavia and it just hurts when I wake up because she’s not with me anymore.” He responds.
Clarke nods. A tear slips down her cheek. She feels a warm hand touch her face and wipes the tear away. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get emotional it’s just-“ Bellamy interrupts her. “Don’t apologize, you just lost your mother it’s okay.” she nods.
“It’s my fault she’s dead, I killed my own mother. I’m a monster.” Bellamy shakes his head. “You aren’t Clarke, Russell killed her you didn’t. You are the strongest person I know.” He adds.
Clarke gives him a small smile. “So are you” Bellamy nods. “Clarke...” he pauses, “Theres another reason why Echo and I broke up.”
“Oh?” She questions. Why is he telling her this? She has nothing to do with their relationship. “We broke up because echo knew... that I was in love with you.” Clarke heart flutters. He’s in love with her? She thought he was too good for her.
“You... you’re in love with me?” Clarke asks shyly. Bellamy lets out a small laugh. He reaches for Clarke’s hands and intertwines his fingers with hers. “Yes I am, I have been for so many years, my heart only belongs to one person. Which it’s you, it’s always been you.”
Clarke’s eyes fill up with tears. She never thought Bellamy would say that to her. She thought she wasn’t good enough for him. “Bellamy.” She chokes.
“You can break my heart as many times you want. But you are my home, you always have been. I want us to be together, because I’m in love with you Clarke Griffin.” Bellamy says softly. By then tears are falling down Clarke’s cheeks. She lets out a laugh.
“I’m in love with you too, Bellamy Blake.” She responds. He laughs with her. Then they both rests their foreheads together. Bellamy brushes a loose hair out of her face.
Bellamy let out a grin and then clarke smiled back at him. Bellamy let out a small chuckle and leaned into to kiss her, hard and fast.
Then his hand slid around her lower back. This was a kiss that made her melt into him and that she never experienced before Bellamy shivered when her fingers tangled in his curly hair.
They both pulled away, and tested their foreheads on each other again. Bellamys lips still parted, their breaths still heavy. “Can you stay here tonight? With me?” Clarke softly asked. Bellamy nodded and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Of course” he whispered.
-
Clarke didn’t remember the both of them laying together in bed. but as soon as she laid down on the mattress so did bellamy. Bellamy laid next to her. she turned her back so that she was lying on her side, her back pressing into his chest. One Bellamy’s arm was still wrapped around her waist, supporting her. Clarke let out a small yawn, then felt the touch of lips against her skin, right where her shoulder met her neck. Clarke held chuckled as she felt Bellamy’s lips brushing lightly against the skin of her neck and her jaw.
Bellamy kissed Clarke’s cheek, in response to that she reached for his hand that was around her waist and interlocked her fingers with his. After that, she fell into a deep slumber.
For the first time in months she didn’t have any bad dreams, and she felt safe for once in the arms of the man she loves...