A Happily Ever After Is So Much Easier to Believe In

by CharmsForYou

Summary:

It's been four years since the war ended and Sakura has found herself trapped in restlessness. She watches as her friends move on and find happiness, but still she is stuck in a state of unhappiness. And so she turns to taking on constant missions to distract herself. She struggles to reconcile with being in love with a man who would never put her first. And on top of this she refuses to throw herself at said man ever again, despite never truly getting over him. A story of Sakura finding herself and a story of Sasuke realizing what's truly important to him.

Notes:

I wanted this story to showcase a strong Sakura who doesn't need a man. But still struggles with her feelings for her great love. I've always thought that Sasuke did not deserve Sakura and would have been much more satisfied if there was time to show their relationship progressing from teammates, to friends, to close friends, to lovers. I have absolutely no idea how long this will be and this is my first time writing any sort of fanfic so please be nice. I also don't have a proof reader but i'm trying my best to catch all mistakes. However, I am open to suggestions on how to make the story better. Last thing, I recently finished the MDZS novel and am not ashamed to say that I may be basing Sasuke off of an edgier version of Lan Wangji. So if you see him grunting or Mn-ing a lot that's why. Because honestly what does Sasuke even say... I have no idea how to write him.

Chapter 1: Ignoring the Wants of the Heart

“It was hard,” she thought, “to reconcile who she wanted him to be, with who he actually was.” It made her feel as if she was trying to make him into something that he wasn’t. Something that he would never be… A person who would always be there for her, who wanted her for her, who would be happy to be in the village with her.

The list goes on, but despite that, it does not change who he is. Sasuke would never willingly choose to stay with her, and she didn’t have the heart to force him to be with her either. So, where does that leave her, she thought, in limbo most definitely.

She was not happy being in Konoha simply because it pained her to see people moving on and finding happiness where she could not. It made her feel inadequate, as if something was wrong with her. Which if she thought about it there probably is, I mean I did go through a war, but I don’t want to think about that.

And so, I avoid everything, Konoha, Sasuke, and sometimes even my friends. I take mission after mission simply to get out of the city because I can’t stand the feeling of restlessness I get when I’m home. I hope that one day I can get to a point where I can feel content even if that means that I will never find the true happiness that I desire. I know that I will never get over him, because I have tried. It’s been four years since the war ended and even after taking every mission I can find and trying to date, I have had no luck. No one sparks me the way he does, and perhaps I spark no one else as well. I mean I get it; I can be pretty intimidating when I want to be, add that to the fact that everyone recognizes me as a war hero and suddenly I’m unapproachable.

I have come to terms with these facts and decided that my life must go on, 8 years of loving someone who does not see you will surely do that to you. And so in between my missions, my friends force me to aspire towards my future.

“It’s not healthy for you to go out on so many month-long missions Sakura, you’re exhausting yourself.” Ino said simply, sweeping her long hair behind her shoulders. “You can’t keep doing this, why do you feel the need to do it?”
“Because it's something that I need, Ino, you don’t understand being here in this place is hard for me right now” Sakura said.
“What don’t I get and what’s wrong with Konoha? This is your home the place we fought to protect, the place we’ve rebuilt so many times. There are so many memories here.”
“I Know!” Sakura exclaimed, “but you don’t see what I see every single day when I’m here. Everyone’s moving on from the war and finding happiness or finding some way to become happy. But what about me? I look around and see no place for me, the city is rebuilt and not many people get hurt enough for me to be needed daily at the hospital. And for a while that sustained me, but I know that now they truly don’t need a trauma specialist. All of my friends are settling down and starting families or getting married. But where does it leave me, with nothing, can’t you see that I don’t even know myself or what would make me happy. I don’t even know the girl that I used to be before the whole Sasuke situation. I know that I was happy and had ambition, but that all went to shit once Sasuke was captured.”
Sakura looked away from Ino and Hinata, staring at a wall as if remembering a troubling time. “Suddenly, all I wanted was to find Sasuke and bring him back, then I wanted to catch up to Sasuke and Naruto… so that I could protect them. But despite becoming stronger, the defining factor was that I wanted to do these things not for myself, but because I wanted to prove something to others.”

Sakura’s eyes wandered back to Hinata and Ino before staring down at the table they were sitting at. “I’m tired of it, these missions are a way to prove to myself that I am strong. A way to prove my capabilities on the merits of only myself with no team to back me up. To show my strength and smarts, not only to Konoha but to other villages as well. I’m needed there and not here, where there is constant action, not a post war time Konoha.”

Ino looked at Sakura with a shocked expression but one filled with worry. While Hinata looked with a bit of sympathy.
“It can be hard to adjust but we are here for you Sakura, were your closest friends we love you; we would never abandon you or forget you. You mean the world to each and every one of us, not to mention all that you’ve done for us when we were down,” Hinata looked at Sakura with determination in her eyes, “you must know that there will always be a place for you here Sakura and that we will support you,” She said a bit breathlessly.

“Yeah,” Ino argued, “and if you’re looking for love there is plenty of fish here or out on your missions you’ll find someone Sakura. I mean you’re beautiful, kind, smart, and the strongest person I have ever met besides Tsunade, literally. You’re a catch and any man would be a fool to pass you over.”
Sakura took a deep breath because she would have to admit to something that she publicly said she had gotten over only a few years ago.

“Thank you Ino, Hinata, but I can’t just rely on you guys to support me, and certainly not all the time. Doing these missions allows me to forget about the unhappiness that I feel. It keeps me so busy that I have no time to think about it and as far as love goes, I know that it won’t happen for me. I mean it’s been four years since the war ended and in those four years I have been dating. But every date has gone nowhere, and it’s because I haven’t gotten over him like I said I did. It was just easier for me to pretend that I had and honestly, I thought that if I pretended for long enough it would work.”

“But obviously not, I suppose 8 years of loving someone does that to a person. He is all I’ve ever wanted, and I suppose he’s all I’ll ever want. And you can’t make a man love you back, so here I am stuck in limbo. Coming back to my home and seeing everyone be happy, but for some reason I’m just not. And knowing that the man you love will never willingly come back to Konoha, nor will he ever give you a second glance. I suppose I should be used to it by now but I’m not.”
Sakura takes a brief pause before continuing, her words coming out slightly faster.

“And so, I choose to avoid him whenever he is in town and pretend like I never had feelings for him when I see him in person. Because I don’t have the heart to force him to love me back. And is it so wrong to want the love of your life to actually want you back. No, I know that’s not true, but sometimes even that feels like I’m asking for too much.” She looked up at Ino and Hinata who were both speechless with tears in her eyes. She wiped them away and averted her eyes.

“Can’t you both see now that I need this. I need it to avoid my feelings, my wants and my desires. I need it to distract me and I need it so that I don’t have to be an emotional burden on those close to me. Maybe in a few years I’ll be able to come back and be content with my life. Not truly happy because that isn’t something easily attainable for me, but content is something I could strive for. And I refuse to have to base my happiness off of him, when he would never, ever, think of me in that way and because I have more pride than that.”

“I will never tell him about my feelings ever again, and I will not make a fool of myself by throwing myself at him. I have so much to offer, I know I do, and if he can’t see it then it sucks for him. But it doesn’t change my feelings, I don’t love him any less.”
Ino gave Hinata a glance before responding.

“I respect your decision Sakura; I didn’t see it in that light and that was very one sided of me. But you have to promise to take more breaks in between the missions you take that last longer than a month. At least two weeks, I’m not asking you to stay indefinitely just to get your bearings. You can even stay with me if that helps.
Hinata stood up from the table and came to sit next to Sakura patting her on the back,

“I agree with Ino, I understand why you need this Sakura, truly I do, but your health is important as well.”
Sakura looked over at her friends and released a breath, they understood, and although she hated that she could feel their pity she knew where they were coming from. And so, she agreed, “Alright I can do two weeks.”
“And don’t think you’ll get out of it either forehead, I’ll be checking up on you.” Ino mumbled before taking Sakura’s hand into her own. “And also, Sakura I truly think that you will find love someday. It will happen to you when you least expect it. Cliché I know, but it is a belief that I hold.
“I want to believe you Ino,” Sakura sighed, “a happily ever after is so much easier to believe in” she said.
~~~~+~~~~

Chapter 2: A Rogue Ninja Returns

It had been a while since he had visited Konoha, six months maybe, he doesn’t remember, time seems to run together for him. As he walked through the gates, he gave a slight nod to the guards standing out front. Who were no doubt signaling to every Anbu currently in Konoha that he had returned, which would eventually reach the Hokage's office.

And knowing Kakashi, he would tell Naruto. Who has been spending all of his free time shadowing Kakashi in preparation for his eventual time to shine as Hokage. This meant that he would most likely only have about 8 hours of free time before Naruto showed up on his doorstep… if he was lucky.

Sasuke quickly made it to his childhood home in the Uchiha estate, shedding his gear and clothes before going to take a long-awaited shower, with hot water. He took his time savoring the ability to not have to constantly watch his back for enemies. Once finished he got dressed in clean clothes before picking up his dirty gear and taking them to the laundry room. Deciding that he would do laundry later seeing as he has the time.

Leaving the laundry room, he goes to the living room, opening the windows to let some of the stale air out and doing some light cleaning. Before settling down with a book that he’d found on one of the shelves in the living room. He’d read for about an hour before becoming distracted about a decision that had been plaguing him since his decision to decide to return to Konoha for this break.

‘How long should he stay?’ he’d thought to himself.

It was true that his journeys were sort of a self-imposed exile, something that he had used to come to terms with the end of the war, all of his loss, and all of the actions he’d taken during that time. However, he had been traveling for almost four years straight. Only stopping to come to Konoha for short breaks, mostly so that he would not worry Naruto and Sakura.

Now that he thinks about it though, over the last few months he seemed to be a bit weary, if not just tired. He’s sure that he’s read something in a book that talks about the negative effects of prolonged stress on the body. Perhaps what he needed was an extended break, something that would allow him some reprieve from the constant flow of being on alert every second of every day.

Sasuke pondered this idea for a few minutes before making his decision. He would inform Kakashi tomorrow morning.
~~~~+~~~~
At approximately 6:00 pm Sasuke heard a banging on his front door and knew immediately who that person might be. Because, there were only three people who would come to the Uchiha estate uninvited, and only one would bang on his door as if he would break it down if he did not get a response.

Sasuke calmly went to the door and opened it before a spiky blonde in an orange and black jump suit walked past him.
“So, you’ve decided to finally join civilization huh!” Naruto exclaimed. “I thought you’d be gone for longer.”
Sasuke grunted but decided to answer him. “I decided that I needed some rest, so I came back for a break.”
Naruto broke into a smile before stepping forward to clap Sasuke on the back “Great, we can train together and catch up on all the adventures we’ve been on in the past six months. But first, were going to get food! I’m starving, and you’re in luck Sakura’s in town as well so it’ll be like old times. Ichiraku’s on me, come on put on some shoes let’s go!”

Sasuke shook his head before quickly leaving the room to get his shoes and soon they were on their way.
~~~~+~~~~
“I told Sakura earlier about our plans so she should be at Ichiraku’s by the time we get there” Naruto divulged as they walked at a leisurely pace towards their destination. He looked over at Sasuke and said,

“How have you been man, I know it’s been a while?”

Sasuke contemplated this for a while before answering “good…Not dead.”

Naruto raised his hands up before crossing them behind his head and said
“Man, I forget how few words you say… it’s like you’re only allowed a certain amount of words a year.”
Sasuke grunted.
Naruto squinted at him before saying “What’s that supposed to mean? I hope that wasn’t an agreement. If you keep speaking caveman, you’ll never get a love interest you know.”

“Love has been the last thing on my mind,” Sasuke derided, “I’ve had no time.”

“Well no shit sherlock, or course you haven’t, mister I can’t stay in one place for longer than two days.” said Naruto.
They’d turned a corner, only needing to walk a few more blocks before reaching Ichiraku’s. Sasuke wanting to change the subject asked Naruto,
“So how are you and Hinata?”
Naruto’s smiled a soft smile, looked up at the sky, and let out a small sigh before saying “were great and she is everything that I could have ever wanted. She’s amazing at so many things and she’s beautiful and kind. Honestly, I don’t think I could be more happier than I am right now. Everything seems to just be falling into place. I have an amazing girlfriend, my two teammates are back in town at the same time, and I’m being trained to become the next Hokage. Everything is right in the world!”
Sasuke looked over at Naruto, hands behind his head, he looked like the embodiment of happiness and joy. Likened to a stray ray of sunshine left to shine on the earth at night. Finally, he said,

“I am, happy for you… the both of you.”

“Thanks man, I appreciate it” Naruto said, before they turned the final corner needed to reach their destination.

Sitting at one of the chairs was a girl with shoulder length pink hair wearing a casual green t-shirt with black capris.

“Sakura!” Naruto yelled in greeting.

The girl turned sharply in her seat, her green eyes piercing before softening around the corners and realizing that it was her more rambunctious teammate who called her name. Because her other teammate would never call her name with any sort of enthusiasm. She raised her hand in greeting, “Hey guys.”

Notes:

How did I do?

Chapter 3: Fake Smile

His hair has gotten longer Sakura noted mentally, now reaching to just past his collar. He looked a bit tired but there were no major injuries that she could see on him. ‘That’s good, at least he’s taking care of himself while he’s out on the road’ she thought. He decided to wear casual clothing tonight, a simple short sleeved white shirt and black pants. ‘Hmm,’ so Naruto didn’t catch him as soon as he walked through the village gates.

They sat on either side of Naruto, ordering their usual, and waiting for it to be brought out to them. Naruto leaned back on his stool and said,

“It’s a shame Sai couldn’t be here, then it’d be a true team bonding experience.”
“Hmm,” Sakura agreed and nodded her head, “but he’ll be back soon.”

The two quickly spiraled off into different conversation topics while Sasuke said nothing. Merely watching the two interact and noting the familiar sensation of nostalgia hitting him in the chest. His eyes wondered toward Sakura, and he made a mental checklist of how much she had changed in the time he had been gone. He hair was longer, and she seemed more confident in herself; however, her smile never seemed to reach her eyes nowadays. And in the past four years she had completely changed how she interacted with him.

No more were there times where she would willingly go out of her way to see him, and she would only speak in the most formalist way towards him. When he was in town, he would often only see her once or twice if he was lucky. And she was never there to see him off, I guess when you leave Konoha as much as he did there really was no point in seeing him off every time.

Eventually their food arrived, and Naruto and Sakura’s conversation came to a stop as they began to eat. Naruto inhaling his food while Sakura and Sasuke ate with some decorum. When they were finished Sakura spoke up,

“So, what brings you to our neck of the woods Sasuke?” It was something she genuinely wanted to know as he was usually gone for longer.

“I’ve decided to take an extended break,” he said, “Something close to a year.”

Sakura faulted at that because he hasn’t spent that much time in Konoha since before he left originally.
“Oh,” she said simply, she didn’t know what to say to that.

Sasuke felt the keen sensation that his answer had not been well received by Sakura, but he could not pinpoint why. Naruto piped in and said,
“Awesome! We’ll actually have time to do some true team bonding within the next two weeks since Sakura will be home for that length of time. And you, Sasuke will actually have time to get to know Konoha again and see all your old friends. Not to mention that Hinata and I’s wedding was planned for the end of this year, and now you’ll definitely have time to attend. Ahh, life is good! Don’t you agree Sakura?” Naruto asked looking over at her.

“Yes, of course Naruto. Everything is looking bright.” She smiled but it looked like it was forced. Something that Sasuke noted immediately he wanted to ask what was wrong, but he refrained.

Sakura took a deep breath before looking directly at Sasuke and saying, “I’m happy that you’ve decided to stay indefinitely Sasuke. It will be great seeing you around.” Her voice seemed flat when she said this but there was a forced smile plastered on her face. She immediately turned to Naruto before squinting her eyes,

“And you! Don’t start getting me stressed about planning your wedding already, were not supposed to start planning for another month. If you start gushing over it now, I’ll never be able to make it live up to your expectations.” She sighed but her tone of voice was light and teasing.

“Awe, Sakura we could get married on the streets and it would still be perfect. So, don’t sweat it.” Naruto said before letting out a small laugh.
Again, the two spiraled off into separate conversation topics that lasted into the night. Before they knew it, they were all leaving Ichiraku’s walking together away from the restaurant. Sakura was the first to split from the group Saying a quick ‘Goodbye and see you later.’ Then it was just Sasuke and Naruto walking.

Sasuke, looking towards Naruto, finally asked a question that had been bothering him all night,
“How is Sakura truly?”

“What do you mean?” Naruto asked dumbfounded, “She’s fine.”

“She does not seem happy,” Sasuke said simply.

Naruto’s face darkened at that moment and he took a bit longer to answer,

“She’s not coping well after the war. I haven’t been able to pry out what’s truly bothering her. But what I’ve been gleaning from Ino and Hinata is that she does not want to talk about it… Or maybe she isn’t ready to talk about it. But I’ve surmised that that’s why she takes on so many missions. Something or someone in Konoha is making it hard for her to cope and face her traumas. We all have our own way of dealing with the traumas of our past, and maybe avoidance is the best way for Sakura right now.”

Sasuke truly did not know what to say to that and so he remained quiet. However, he could not shake the feeling of discomfort at Sakura’s pain. He wanted a definite answer but the only person who had that would not be willing to talk with him. Especially after he has spent so much time breaking any relationship, he might have had with her, especially after he abandoned her. No, he knew Sakura would never divulge how hurt she might be to him. After all, how can she when he knows full well that he contributed to her trust issues.

Chapter 4: The Longest Two Weeks of Her Life

Summary:

Sakura experiences anxiety and Sasuke begins to question what makes him happy in life.

“Why on earth did I agree to take two week breaks in between missions for Ino and Hinata?” Sakura thought to herself as she rolled out of bed. Walking over to her bathroom to take a quick shower and brush her teeth before getting dressed.

 

“Could it possibly be because I believed that in doing completely forced upon self-care the universe would go easy on me?” she thought to herself bitterly.

 

“No, of course not. Because as soon I agreed to this Sasuke decides to what, take a year off, stay in Konoha, you have got to be kidding me!” she continued to mumble to herself.

 

After putting on her signature outfit she decided to visit Ino at her family’s flower shop, considering that it was the weekend and Ino had the day off from the hospital. With her mind made up Sakura left her apartment and began to walk the streets of Konoha. She felt jittery as if she could walk into Sasuke at any time and even less unhappy with her current predicament.

 

“Maybe it would just be easier if I left now,” she thought to herself. “I mean I could always go and visit Temari in the hidden sand or better yet there is always work in the rain village.

 

But the verbal lashing I’d get from Ino and the equally as bad hurt in Hinata’s eyes wouldn’t be fun either,” she sighed to herself. She had been so caught up in thinking that she had made it to the flower shop quicker than expected and now that she was here, she found herself anxious about going in.

 

“Should I tell Ino about Sasuke? Maybe if I explain things I can get out of staying? Should I just keep quiet? No, she’ll find out because Naruto has probably already told Hinata which means she told Ino which means the entire towns probably knows.”

 

Sakura stood outside the flower shop hand extended out on the door for a prolonged amount of time before a customer squeezed past her mumbling an “excuse me”. Sakura startled before taking a step back, she looked through the flower shops window and saw that Ino could see her just standing there. Sakura took a deep breath before eventually entering and greeting Ino.

 

“Hi,” Sakura said to Ino in a meek voice. “Hey,” Ino replied back with an element of worry to her facial features. “are you ok, it looks like you have seen several ghosts in a short period of time.”

 

“I… Um, yeah.” Sakura tried to smile but she could tell that she had missed the mark and it probably looked like she was grimacing rather than smiling.

 

“Cut the crap Sakura and tell me what’s wrong. You’ll make my flowers wilt with how bad you’re lying right now” Ino replied back to her with an air of both worry and no nonsense.

 

Sakura looked away from Ino slightly irritated that she could see through her so easily before laying it all out. “Sasuke is back in town for what will probably be a whole year and I am not happy with this development. As I am sure you probably already know.” Surprised that she was able to state what was bothering her without the anxiety that was plaguing her not five minutes ago.

 

“I do, Hinata called to tell me last night.” Ino stated. “And let me guess you want to leave immediately after you just spent a month assisting the ANBU with some top-secret mission.”

 

Sakura was about to answer before Ino cut her off. “No, you will run yourself ragged. Sasuke being here or not won’t change that breaks are important Sakura. Konoha is a very large village if you really want to avoid him its possible. But also, let’s not forget that he typically spends all his time at the Uchiha complex anyways so you’re even less likely to see him.”

 

Sakura thought about what Ino had said and realized that she let her anxieties get the better of her. Ino was right and she’d probably see Sasuke around about as frequently as when he was out of the city…every once in a while. “You’re right, I guess I’m being a little over the top. Glad to know that you care sometimes Inopig.” Sakura said punching her lightly in the arm.

 

Ino sniffed, “Of, course I care, someone’s gotta talk some sense into you. And unfortunately to you’re to head strong to be talked to gently.” Ino said crossing her arms and sticking her tongue out at her.

 

Sakura stared at Ino for a couple of seconds before laughing at her antics. “Yeah your right. Thanks for talking some sense into me even if I hate every moment of it,” Sakura said with a genuine smile.

 

 

~~~~~+~~~~~

 

After stating his decision to Sakura and Naruto, Sasuke realized that he should probably make his way to Kakashi to inform him. After all his history with this place isn’t the best on either side and a prolonged stay without telling the Hokage could create unnecessary challenges that he honestly did not have the energy to deal with right now.

 

Sasuke left the Uchiha complex making his way to the Hokage’s office and as he did, he unconsciously began to reminisce about the past.

 

“Do I have any fond memories of this place that did not involve my family? That are subsequently not tainted by what happened to my family?” he thought aloud.

 

“I suppose those early days before the Chunin exams may count. I was still a kid then; it could be argued that I had fun training with Sakura and Naruto at that time. Things were complicated even then, but not as complicated as they soon became after the Chunin exams” Sasuke sighed deciding to shy away from any more reminiscing activities and continue his walk in silence.

 

Once he made it to the Hokage complex he immediately beelined for Kakashi’s office, not stopping to give anyone a prolonged glance. If there was a problem, he would be stopped and obviously there wasn’t one because he was let in easily.

 

Sasuke knocked on Kakashi’s door and waited for a response. The easy going “come in” of Kakashi’s voice filtering through the door.

Sasuke entered, his eyes adjusting to the luminescent lights of the room and the daylight filtering in through the floor length window overlooking Konoha. His eyes focused on Kakashi sitting in the middle of the room at his desk.

 

In Sasuke’s opinion he looked to be a bit older but not by much; however, it was weird to see him in the Hokage garb instead of his usual and preferred outfits.

 

“Well look who it is. I gotta say I’m a bit surprised you decided to visit me this early into your sabbatical. I would have expected you to prolong coming to me for another week at least.” Kakshi said in a slightly playful voice.

 

“I figured coming as soon as possible would offer me less problems in the long run. I suppose Naruto told you then, or did you have one of your ANBU trailing me?” Sauske asked with a tilt of his head.

 

Kakashi smiled under his mask, his eyes crinkling at the far corners. “I think we both know that you are far too strong to have ANBU trailing you without being aware of it. I do appreciate your efforts at being humble though.”

 

“Naruto told me of course.” Kakashi took a pause before moving into his next question.

“I must ask though, why have you chosen to take a year long break here? I am not saying you cannot stay, just curious why here and why now after all this time?”

 

Sasuke contemplates the question for some time before speaking. He had always appreciated that Kakashi gave him time to get his thoughts together before being forced into an answer.

 

“I believe you are aware of what it means to feel… weary” Sauske says. “My reputation precedes me in most villages and due to this my staying anywhere for too long often leads into politics.” Sasuke said in a flat voice.

 

“I recognize that my actions up until this point are the reason for my predicament now, but if not Konoha where would I go. I would like to rest, and I can’t do that if I am always looking over my shoulder.” He said simply.

 

Kakashi nodded gingerly. His eyes unfocused as if he was seeing a different time. “Weariness is a feeling I am deeply intimate with. What will you do in your time here?”

 

Sasuke shrugged. “Sleep, spend time with Naruto I suppose, if there is still reconstruction I could help with those efforts,” Sakura flashed into his mind for a second.

Would she want to spend time with him? He thought back to the time he spent at the ramen shop with both Naruto and Sakura. The smile that used to be so forthcoming never reaching her eyes when directed at him. Maybe not.

“That’s about it” he said back to Kakashi.

 

Kakashi’s head tilted slightly. “You know Sakura and Sai also visit Konoha from time to time. Perhaps making an effort to spend some time with them as well could be helpful for you.”

 

Sasuke looked down at his hands, he always got the distinct feeling that Sai hated him on a level that he could not comprehend but was reasonable given what he had done. But Sakura… He did not think making an effort after all this time would be anything but awkward. Not because he was not interested in spending time with her, but because she was not interested in spending time with him. Sasuke did not answer.

 

Kakashi reiterated “you are right, I know weariness Sasuke.” He sighed once more before continuing. “And the only way to push through it is to find something, someone, or a group of someone’s to pull you out and away from your current mindset.”

 

Looking Sasuke straight into his eyes Kakashi said, “right now I have a feeling that it is hard to feel yourself changing when your past is haunting you. Especially when your past follows you from place to place, you cannot run forever, hence the weariness. I am glad that you have decided to take this time, use it wisely.”

 

The silence between the two men was palpable. Sasuke felt in that moment that Kakashi could see right through him and catch on to emotions that even he was not aware of. Sasuke looked away from him.

 

Kakashi sighed again before standing to move over to the window where he could see the village better. “Sasuke despite all that has happened up until this point, you are still my student. I want to see you succeed and be happy. The colors of your past do not affect the colors of your future. If you want your future to be bright then take what is available to you and make it so. Find what makes you happiest.”

 

The dismissal in Kakashi’s tone was heard loud and clear. Sasuke finally looked up to see Kakshi’s back. “I will endeavor to spend my time here wisely, thank you Kakashi.” Sasuke said feeling as if he did not know a damn thing about who he was as a person.

 

Sasuke left Kakashi’s office feeling off kilter and deciding that before he went about trying to find himself his best bet was to go back to the Uchiha complex and take a nap. After all too many revelations in one day tires a man out.

Notes:

It been years since I watched Naruto so I apologize if I get some stuff wrong. I've decided to write this from memory mostly because with work and grad school I'm to lazy to look stuff up rn. I apologize for any errors or mistakes in grammar and am super sorry its been so long since I updated...life happens I guess. Also I love reading fanfiction but writing it is a completely different beast. Please enjoy.

Chapter 5: Trying to Avoid a Chance Meeting

After a whole week of spending her time at the hospital and helping Ino at the flower shop Sakura could admit she was bored out of her mind. At this point she would normally take up another mission or go down to one of the training facilities.

Knowing that she still needed to “rest” for another week before deciding on a mission she figured the training grounds were her best bet. She wouldn’t go to their old training grounds that they used as kids.

Frankly the nostalgia and sense of loss for her childhood was too high. But also, her chances of running into Sasuke while she was trying to let off steam would be lower.

So, Sakura chose one of the training grounds that were further back and less often used. She had been working on a new move that would allow her to focus all of her chakra into a specific object and shoot it out like a projectile.

As of right now she could only get it to work on small objects. But the force of her projectiles was similar to a gun. She would use her time today to work her way through medium and large objects.

She was so caught up that she didn’t realize that someone had joined her until they stepped onto the training ground.

Sakura looked up and her breath caught for one eternal second. Before she could feel all the bitterness that had been plaguing her for a week work itself back into her.

“Of. Fucking. Course!” She thought to herself.

At a nearby tree Sasuke stood silently watching her and barely moving. He was as still as a statue, and it slightly unnerved her.

She wondered how long he had been standing there before she noticed him and why on earth he decided to stay at this particular training field if she was already here.

“Surely he couldn’t want to stay and train with me” she thought to herself, “no, he probably wants something…that would make more sense.”

Sasuke appeared to blink before slowly making his way towards Sakura. He came to stop just a couple feet away before saying, “I think adding more force towards the bottom and middle of your projectiles would help with efficiency, especially with getting them to move at the speed that you’re going for.”

Sakura looked at Sasuke dumbfounded before she realized what he was saying to her. “Ah… my technique,” she thought so that’s why he was staring so intensely.

Sakura looked down at the medium object she held in her hand focusing her chakra more towards the middle and bottom of the object with more emphasis on expanding her chakra.

She could feel the object begin the subtly move and bend to the force of her chakra before she eased up before it exploded in her hands.

Sakura looked back up to Sasuke and replied, “ahh, I suppose that would make more sense. I was focusing too much energy on surrounding the whole object as that what worked best with the smaller items”

“Thanks for the tip Sasuke,” Sakura said while scratching the back of her head. It was suddenly to quiet between the two and Sakura did not know what to do next.

She realized that for the past couple of years Naruto ad been her buffer for conversation between her and Sasuke.

And when he wasn’t, and it was because Sasuke was about to leave the village, so a long conversation was not expected.

Sakura looked over at Sasuke once again who remained quiet but seemed to be looking past her to a place off in the distance. She then decided to ask, “um, what brings you over to train today? I know this isn’t the typical spot you and Naruto use to train.”

 

As a matter of fact, it had been the furthest training spot that she could book from the spot that Naruto used typically.

Sasuke’s eyes returned to Sakura’s face, his expression unreadable before replying,

“I asked if Naruto wanted to train today but he said he was busy shadowing Kakashi until later this afternoon. He let me know that you would be out here at one of the training grounds and heavily encouraged I join you. I took his advice and found you.”

 

Sakura wanted to laugh at her luck, the universe, and all her efforts to avoid Sasuke.

Quite literally it’s been one week since she decided to take longer breaks in between her missions and she has been regretting it ever since.

And of course, Naruto and his good naturedness would be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and her ability to avoid Sasuke.

“Ahaha, well don’t feel like you have to train with me just because Naruto encouraged you too.” Sakura tried to say with a laugh. “That knuckle head is always preaching about the importance of one-on-one time with teammates to build our bond.” Sakura said to Sasuke with hand quotations around the word bond.

Sakura laughed again to combat her anxiety while looking at Sasuke, “when that’s really not necessary.” She sighed out.

Sasuke cocked his head, the first movement he’s made in all of Sakura’s rambling. He asked, “and why do you think that is the case? Does the idea of training with me sound so bad?”

Sakura, not expecting Sasuke’s answer, took a pause before responding. Honestly she was shocked that Sasuke did not take the out that she so carefully attempted to lay before him.

“Well, no, I’m not opposed to training with you. I just meant that we all have our own ways of connecting with each other and that doesn’t mean that our bond is any less strong you know.”

“Like, we’ve been through a war and had our ups and downs. We won’t soon forget how to fight together when it comes down to it,” Sakura rushed out.

Sasuke was again looking at her with an unreadable expression and that alone was a testament to how much she could not read him despite him being a “treasured teammate who they worked so hard to get back”.

“Sasuke, I just mean that if you’re here because Naruto is forcing you to be here then don’t feel obligated alright.”

Sakura sighed out feeling deflated and tired with the awkward conversation. She looked away from Sasuke for reprieve from whatever was going on in his head.

 

“Sakura, I’m here because I want to be. I was tired of being in my home and wanted train with a teammate. Yes, Naruto was the first person who came to mind, but you are also my teammate and I… well I suppose we haven’t trained in a long time.” Sasuke said looking at Sakura as if he has finally decided something.

“While I am back home in Konoha I want to make an effort and those efforts start with my teammates…even Sai.” Sasuke said the Sai’s name like it pained him to get it out of his lungs.

Sakura looked back to Sasuke realizing that that was probably the most genuine couple of sentences he had spoken to her in some time. “Alright.” She replied, “Then let’s get to work.”

~~~~~+~~~~~

They focused mainly on tai jutsu and hand to hand combat. Getting a feel for each other. Sasuke noticed that Sakura hand only gotten stronger in his absence and when she landed a hit on him it truly took his breath away made him feel like she’d knocked a lung loose.

On top of that she was sneaky with using projectiles in creative ways that would allow her to effectively hide.

She was agile and would sometimes punch in ways similar to Hinata but instead of rendering pulse points useless for a time she would use her strength to put them out of commission.

If Sasuke had been using his Sharingan her tricks would have been easier to see through.

But without it, Sakura is by far an opponent not to be trifled with or to let yourself be caught off guard around. Her intellect and strength were a menace to the unsuspecting.

By the end of their sparring session they both found themselves laying on the ground slightly out of breath. “That was a good sparring session.” Sasuke said matter of factly turning his head to look at Sakura who was lying next to him staring up at the sky, her hair spread out around her.

Sakura had appeared to be in the zone during their fight and the awkwardness of the conversation prior bled away. But with his voice breaking the peacefulness of their break he could feel the tenseness in the air between them.

He did not like the feeling as it did not used to be this hard to talk to Sakura in the past. He wondered what changed between them and how he could ease Sakura’s uncomfortability around him. He pondered this for some time before she finally responded.

“It was a good workout I suppose, it was good to be able to train with someone especially since it’s a weekday. I normally train alone these days when I’m home unless its Friday-Sunday.” Sakura said her face still faced towards the sky.

Sasuke thought that answer was curious. Especially coming from Sakura, from his recollection she was always well liked and pretty popular. In fact, at the end of the war she couldn’t go anywhere without someone needing her for something or wanting to be in her presence.

He wonders why now she was always alone when it does not seem to fit her character. Or at least the version of Sakura he remembered.

“Why is that? I mean I am certain you could find training partners who could accommodate you and who would make time to train when you’re in town.” Sasuke stated.

“Sakura looked at Sasuke briefly before returning her eyes to the sky.” Her green eyes were piercing but not unkind. There seemed to be some melancholy to her eyes as well, but he could not pinpoint where it would be coming from.

Sakura released a breath never looking towards him and said, “I’m sure I could find someone to train with me, yes, but most people have lives. I am rarely in the village for more than 2-3 days at a time for the most part. This two-week stent is only a recent development and before that I probably haven’t been consistently in the village in maybe 2-3 years. A training partner is hard to find when you’re inconsistent like I am.”

“You’re missions.” Sasuke surmised.

“Hmm.” Sakura agreed.

“What are they like? You’re missions. As much as you can share?” Sasuke wondered aloud. He wanted to know if she felt similar to the weariness he felt after his missions.

It was then that Sakura turned to face him, her full face in view and hair slightly falling into her eyes. There was a small piece of grass stuck in her hair.

And in that moment, in the breaths between the response to his question. He felt an endearing feeling in his chest.

He looked straight into her eyes and felt that whatever she answered would be important somehow. Like it would allow him to know her as she currently is just a bit better. Another piece to her puzzle.

Sakura laughed under her breath, “If I answer your question will you respond in kind… to the best of your ability of course.” There was some sarcasm there and it sounded like she didn’t think that he would.

“Yes, he responded. I will.” She looked shocked but quickly composed herself before turning again to face the sky.

He found that he liked the look of surprise on her face and that he liked when he could look into her eyes to talk to her.

He decided that he would work on getting Sakura to again feel comfortable to speak with him while looking at him, as it was clear that she was uncomfortable with it now.

“…My missions, they take me to such breathtaking places but also to places that are war torn and on their last legs. I am so many things it’s hard to count, (medic, trauma surgeon, diplomat, manpower for a losing army, ANBU spy), you name it I probably have done it.” Sakura paused to take a breath.

She looked over at Sasuke again and in her eyes was the first smile that felt genuine in some time.

“Not every mission is pretty but when I am out in the field, I feel needed and like my efforts and everything that I am is being used in a way that best serves the people. I just don’t feel that when I am in Konoha.
And maybe I’m selfish for wanting to feel needed and wanting to help everyone, but it’s truly the only thing that’s spoke to me in all these years.” In a proud voice she continued with,

“I worked on my own merits to be the best of the best in my respective fields. I wanted not just Konoha to see it, but other villages around the world to see it too. And now these villages request me personally. I’ve built a life that allows me the freedom to travel and see the world and be independent and not everyone can say that” in a small voice she continues with, “I didn’t want my roots to live only in Konoha because it doesn’t feel like there is anything left for me in Konoha.”

Sasuke turned his head to look at Sakura after that last sentence and she looked sad and far away. As if that sentence was a truth that had unintentionally slipped out and it was the first time it was spoken aloud.

He then noticed from her side profile that she then closed her eyes before opening them again and all the emotion was gone. He assumed from her prolonged silence that she was done sharing.

He contemplated what he would share with her regarding his own missions. In a way he could relate to her feelings though he did not do his missions for the same reasons.

He also realized that he took missions that were long but generally consisted of recognizance for the village. He was not always in a position where fighting or high politics was necessary, he just needed to watch his back at all times.

 

Sasuke realized that for Sakura she was putting herself into danger consistently and all the time. He felt that this was significant though he couldn’t put his finger on why. And of course, he was worried.

Not because Sakura couldn’t handle herself but because she may run herself into the ground to the point that her body can’t handle the pressure.

Sakura still wasn’t looking at him and she hadn’t even asked for reciprocation on his experiences as he was expecting but he shared anyways.

“I believe we have similarities for why we undertake our missions and leave Konoha. I am truly proud of what you have been able to accomplish for yourself and am happy that they see all of your merits no matter where you go. Its deserved.”

“I personally go on long-form missions as a….as…well, a form of penance.” There was no other way to describe it but still Sasuke felt it difficult to share his true reasons.

Even if it might be obvious, he was not exactly known for admitting his wrongs especially when he felt justified for so long.

“My time away usually entails me being a spy for Konoha because I feel that the best thing that I can do is to prevent Konoha from being attacked by others. Stopping it in its tracks if I can. Similarly to you Sakura, despite knowing this is my home I also didn’t feel like Konoha was a place I could stay indefinitely.”

Sakura looked at him and then a look he couldn’t quite place on her face appeared, if he had to he would call it something similar resignation.

Sasuke continued and tried to maintain eye contact with Sakura, “The one thing I realized after all that time was that I’m weary and bone deep tired. Tired of always watching my back because not everyone has forgiven me and rightfully so. Tired of always feeling so alone. Tired of wandering. And I’m tired of feeling like I have no roots as well.”

Sakura’s eyes widened at his statement and in that moment he felt that he had her full attention. He felt like maybe they were beginning to connect again and he found that he enjoyed the sensation of being seen. Of being understood, it was not something he was accustomed to.

“That’s why I am taking the extended leave, because I want to find myself, I want to feel relatively safe, I want to rest, and I want to build roots. Starting with Konoha.” Sasuke said this with a sort of finality that was shocking to his own ears.

Because until he had spoken with Sakura in this moment he hadn’t really decided on the why’s of his leave besides sleeping peacefully.

He suddenly felt exhausted with all that he had shared not used to sharing so much of his thoughts in one sitting.

“That’s, well, that’s great Sasuke. I’m glad that you know exactly what you want and I’m happy that you’re making the effort to get it, truly.” Sakura sat up then running her fingers through her hair and looking down at Sasuke.

From his vantage point of lying down she looked exceedingly beautiful in that moment. With her hair mussed up from training and the sincere look on her face. He had forgotten how attractive she was until now.

“I think this side of you will allow you to find what it is you’re looking for and I hope this year treats you well.” Sasuke wondered what side of him she was referring to…was he more mellowed out or was it because he was being more open?

He didn’t want to ask and possibly break the moment so he would take her word for it.

A cloud passed over them then, blocking out the sun and Sakura moved her eyes from Sasuke down to the watch on her wrist.

She stiffened slightly before saying, “Shoot, it’s already 3:30, I hadn’t realized the time we’ve been out her for 4 hours. I have to go I promised Ino and Hinata I’d meet up with them before heading out to the hospital for some volunteer work. I gotta go.”

Sakura quickly jumped up before walking over to start gathering her things. Sasuke sat up as well and walked over to start getting his things.

“Sorry, to hold you up for so long I didn’t realize the time either. I’ll see you around?” Sasuke asked.

Sakura looked over at Sasuke pausing in stuffing her things into her bag. There was a funny expression on her face but she replied “of course, we live in the same village. I’ll be in town until Sunday.”

With that Sakura gathered the rest of her things and was about to start walking away.

“And Sakura?” Sakura pause her walking to turn around, bag on her shoulder.

“Take it easy when you’re in the village…rest is just as important as any mission and it doesn’t have to be sleep.” Sasuke felt a bit awkward at even trying to verbalize care for Sakura especially with her being the healer who no doubt knows all of this.

But he has made the decision to try, and he can tell that his friend and teammate needed it.

Sakura blinked before a small smile appeared on her face. Her cheeks just the tiniest bit rosy. “I know.” She said quietly. “You and everyone else keeps telling me and I just want you to know that I am trying… to get as much rest as possible. I’m even taking 2 week breaks now thanks to Ino. So, no worries.”

She gave him a small wave before running off. He thought to himself that he was happy that he could make her smile even if it was small.

And he knew that he would employ his sincerity more often.
~~~~~+~~~~~

Notes:

It's been a while. Let me know if you liked the chapter. I feel like I entered a fugue state writing it.

Chapter 6: It’s Time to Go; An Unexpected Visitor

Sakura was having the most random couple of days of her life. She felt like she had entered a parallel dimension. After her lengthy discussion with Sasuke a few days ago. Where she shared way more than she had planned to. Hell, she hadn’t planned on sharing anything at all, but she forgot herself.

But then Sasuke actually took the initiative and showed interest in her and what she has been up to in the past few years. Not only that but he actually, voluntarily, shared his own past in the past couple of years with her.

To her shock and surprise. In that time talking to him she could feel herself relating to his every word and feeling like, just for a few seconds, she was being understood in a way that none of her friends had been able to do.

How could her friends understand, when they were all able to find their happiness in either each other or within the city. How was she able to connect with Sasuke in under 4 hours when none of her other friends could understand her need to be away after 4 years.

Sakura was frustrated because honestly, what the hell was going on, and also being around Sasuke is even more dangerous now because he had a new energy about him. Gone was the feeling of disconnectedness that he always carried around him. And gone was the anger and edginess and in its place was a man who appeared calmer and in touch with his emotions.

If Sakura had already been in love with the brash man before, how was she ever supposed to get over this new more mature version of him. And God was he beautiful that day at the training ground. It seemed like I had his full attention, and it took everything within me to keep my blush under control.

I didn’t feel rushed to share my thoughts and if anything, it seemed like he silently encouraged me to take my time before answering. Like he wanted my most authentic self. Sakura needed to stop thinking these thoughts immediately as they were not safe for her psyche.

It made her feel like she was 12 again and she is certainly a completely different person from the girl she was. Less bright, more jaded, but certainly more confident in her abilities.

It didn’t help that Sasuke came to train with her two more times this week. She was shocked as it appeared that he had sought her out even after she changed training grounds again.

There were no long discussions like that first day but the training was way more comfortable and discussion really wasn’t needed.

This leads her to today, its Sunday, and she had decided to take a month-long mission over to the Sand village where she would be assisting at their hospital for a couple specialty surgeries. She would also be playing diplomat at this time.

She already had all the necessary things packed the night before. She was dressed in her tactical gear for the travel portion of getting from Konoha to the Sand Village. Her shoulder length hair was tied in a low ponytail with a red ribbon securing it.

She set out at a leisurely pace from her home to the front gates of the village. On her way she made sure to say goodbye to her parents, stopping by their place of residence.

Her mother made her promise to be safe and provided her with a quick lunch wrapped in a plastic bag for easy storage. Her father, a man of few words, gave her his customary long hug and whispered, “travel safe.”

Once leaving her parents’ residence she eventually made it to the front gates of the village. There Ino, Hinata, and Naruto were waiting for her. She waived to them and said, “Hey guys, thanks for seeing me off.”

Naruto came forward first and swooped Sakura into a bear hug, “Of course we’d be here, besides Sasuke, you always take the longest missions. I ain’t letting one of my best friends leave without a goodbye.”

Sakura laughed at Naruto and his enthusiasm, over these years he has always supported her, and she knew no matter what he was always on her side.

Hinata approached her next, with her soft-spoken voice, she said, “be safe and just know were always here for you through the good times and the bad no matter what. And remember happiness is always just around the corner waiting to sneak up on anyone unsuspecting.”

Hinata then pulled Sakura into a hug as well. Her words struck Sakura as almost prophetic like Hinata know something she didn’t.”

“I’ll try to let the happiness in if it comes then.” Sakura replied hugging Hinata just a bit longer before letting go. Hinata softly replied, “Be sure that you do.” Before stepping away from Sakura.

“Hey, flower for brains. Did you forget about me? Your other Bestie?” Ino jokingly asked.

“Now how can I forget such a loudmouth?” Sakura responded with a smirk.

Ino bounded over to Sakura and pulled her into a bone crushing hug and then pulled away to look Sakura in the eyes. “Don’t forget what we discussed. Two-weeks or I’ll break your legs to keep you from going on your next mission.” Ino said it in a joking manner, but her face meant business.

Sakura looked at Ino and then at Hinata and Naruto. “I made you guys a promise, and I will stick with it, I mean it. I’ll take real breaks between my missions. Not only because I wanna keep loudmouth satisfied.” Sakura said with some humor, “but also because as much as I hate to admit it, I know it’s important”.

Everyone seemed to nod with satisfaction at her statement. Hinata seemed to be looking in another direction perpendicular to the village.

Sakura’s eyes followed where Hinata was looking and in the distance, there was a figure. A figure that looked distinctly like Sasuke coming her way.

Sakura’s heart dropped and swooped at the same time as she didn’t know what this meant or why he was here. In all this time he has never come to see her off. Mostly because he wasn’t here in the first place but when he was, he never made the effort.

So, What. The. Fuck.

Everyone else turned their heads as well with varying responses of shock and confusion. Hinata was the first to turn back to Sakura with a meaningful look, before everyone else looked at Sakura as well.

Whan Sasuke was now close enough to speak with Sakura everyone appeared to take a couple steps back to give them space and Sakura didn’t know how to feel about that.

It almost felt like she was being left to the wolves or one specific wolf in general, and she hoped the conversation wouldn’t be to be stilted on both their parts.

“Sakura.” Sasuke said simply his voice a little raspy as if this was the first couple of words he spoke today. This did nothing to help Sakura’s heart or anxiety.

“I know this isn’t typically my style but as we discussed previously I am attempting to make an effort.” Sakura’s eyes caught Ino’s face who was half way between WTF and shock that Sakura had even spoken with Sasuke before this point.

“I…Um… Thank you, Sasuke. The effort is definitely appreciated, and I appreciate you coming to see me before I leave. I’ll return in a month or so.” Sakura almost had to force her mouth closed before she started rambling. And oh, how embarrassing that would be in front of her friends.

“Take care.” He said, “and Sakura, your roots will live wherever you are. I’m sure you’ll find some where they will take hold and thrive.” Sasuke said this while looking directly into her eyes and her breath caught and her hands became clammy.

It was the sincerity in his voice, the way he said her name, the effort he made to see her off, and the fact that he remembered her words from their conversation.

She was gone. She had been gone for a very long time. And now with this new Sasuke she didn’t know how to act or even what was safe for her. Because he’s not even trying and he’s still wheedling his way into my heart. I suppose he never really had to try, did he?

I’m fighting an uphill battle at a ninety-degree angle and I’m losing. She wanted to laugh in her head as this was the only battle, she has consistently lost for years. And it looks like she will continue losing it.

No matter. It’s no secret to myself that I love him, and I have for years. But what I won’t do is mention or flaunt it. I have more self-respect than that. If he is making an effort for his friends, then good for him.

It’s good to be considered friends anyways.

Sakura took a deep breath, and composed herself, “Thank you, Sasuke that truly means a lot to me.”

With that Sakura began to say her final goodbyes and begin her journey away from Konoha for the month. Ino had that look on her face that implied “We will be discussing this as soon as you return!” Sakura was glad that she was leaving right this minute.

Naruto was making conversation with Sasuke and Hinata was looking at Sakura with a smile and a wave. There was something in Hinata’s eyes that Sakura could not decipher. She would have to give it some thought once she reached her destination.

Notes:

I finally figured out where I want this story to go!! Super happy about that. Hope you guys enjoy.

Chapter 7: Dinner at the Almost Uzumaki's

Summary:

Sasuke has a eye-opening dinner with Naruto and Hinata the night before Sakura leaves for her mission.

Flashback to the night before Sakura leaves.

 

During the week that Sakura was home, on the days that he did not train with Sakura he trained with Naruto in the late afternoon. It was during one of the days before Sakura was scheduled to leave that Naruto invited him to have dinner at his new home that he shared with Hinata.

 

“Are you sure I won’t be a third wheel. I have no wishes to cut into your time.” Sasuke replied to Naruto’s invite.

 

“Dude, you won’t be a third wheel. I spend all of my free time with her, and it was actually her idea.” Naruto said.

 

Sasuke raised his eyebrow at this before Naruto continued, “I was trying to figure out when I would invite you over to see the new place and she said suggested you come for dinner. You’ll have a great time, promise, and she’s a phenomenal cook. Like heavenly.”

 

Sasuke watched Naruto’s face as he spoke about Hinata. He could see how soft he was for her and how much of a better person she made him. I mean he now has a place to come home to and not just a house. That has to mean something.

 

Sasuke for the first time in his life wondered what a strong emotional connection would feel like and how he could achieve it. As talking with others and relating to them and having them relate to him was something he struggled with.

 

In some ways he can comfortably say he’s grateful to have a friend like Naruto because he can always act as the buffer in social settings. He thought about this in relation to Sakura and realized that he did not want this to be true for her.

 

He didn’t want to need a buffer with Sakura. Not when maybe he could work on fixing their friendship.

 

He’s thought of her a lot lately. She’s been on his mind he thinks since they had dinner at Ichiraku’s his first night back.

 

Sasuke looked back over at Naruto who was still waiting on his answer and said, “yeah, I’ll come have dinner with you and Hinata. Give me the address and the time.” He figured if he was going to work on his conversation skills then this would be the time.

 

Especially considering he isn’t that close with Hinata at all or really anyone in his class that isn’t Sakura and Naruto. It will force him out of his comfort zone.

 

At around 6:00pm Sasuke found himself stepping onto the front porch of Naruto and Hinata’s new home.  He could smell the food cooking from outside and it did smell just as heavenly as Naruto had bragged about earlier.

 

He was just about to knock when the door swung open revealing a smiling face connected to his best friend. Naruto smiled even brighter seeing Sauske standing there and said, “great, glad you found the place alright. Come on in we’re just about to set the table.”

 

Sasuke walked in and was immediately situated in the living room. He could see the kitchen where Hinata was taking something out of the oven. To his left was a hallway that led to the rest of the home.

 

Naruto glanced over at Sauske and said, “I’ll give you a quick tour and show you where the restroom is. Also, now that you know where I live and plan to stick around longer, I expect you to visit more often.”

 

Sasuke thought to himself that that sounded vaguely like a threat disguised as a joke but kept it to himself. He instead said, “Yeah ok.”

 

Naruto then gave a brief laugh and said, “well don’t sound so gloomy about us spending time together”.

 

Naruto gave Sasuke a tour of the home and it was very cozy and just as homey as you would expect of a young couple on track for marriage. There were 3 rooms and 2 bathrooms. Naruto even mentioned to him that when looking at this home he specifically chose it with raising a family in mind.

 

As Sasuke observed Naruto as he talked about all the plans that he had for his future with Hinata he realized that the spark that he saw behind Naruto’s eyes was something that he had not gotten to see often while being away for so long.

 

He was so happy for his friend and unconsciously mentioned, “you really love her.” It was a said as statement and not a question. Moreso a fact of life or the most basic observation. Sasuke could tell that Naruto loves Hinata desperately almost akin to needing to breath.

 

Naruto looked over at Sasuke and said, “yeah man, if I am being honest, I didn’t think that I could care about anyone the way I care about her but I do and I don’t know what I would do without her.”

 

Sasuke was curious then about what that might feel like and so he asked Naruto this in an analyzing manner.

 

Naruto shrugged, “I think it’s more than just a simple feeling for me. It’s multiple things every day. Both big and small. But I think the most important thing is that she is my person. She makes me feel like I am understood in a way that even my closest friends don’t get… No offense.”

 

“None taken.” Sasuke stated matter of factly.

 

“And why do you ask? Do you have your eye on someone? Let me know. Maybe we could setup a double date and go down to the lake. That’d be super fun.”

 

Sasuke then cursed silently because he had almost certainly set himself up there by even asking about the prospect of love. It was not that he was against a romantic relationship he just found it hard to connect with others. And he also felt the need to have a strong connection before moving forward with anything physical in a relationship.

 

He of course was no stranger to sex and its many pleasures and would often seek out the company of a companion while on his travels. But for those situations he was very much of a one-track mind. He could not see himself moving forward with any of those women because there was no base connection. He was not even sure if he could recall a majority of their faces.

 

Sasuke was only worried about bringing up the prospect of love because he knows how Naruto is, and he’d likely try to play matchmaker. Which honestly Sasuke did not need at this time.

 

He finally answered Naruto with, “no reason I was just curious is all. I have never been close to experiencing that depth of emotion for a person in that context.” He then added, “This does not mean that I am currently looking for that at this time so don’t get any ideas.”

 

Naruto pouted and said, “spoil sport.” He then began to make his way back towards the front of his home and Sasuke followed.

 

Without looking back at Sasuke, he said off handedly, “I know this is a super academy times question but what type of girl would you go for anyways? I think I’ve seen every type of girl known to man throw themselves at you, but you’ve never shown any interest back.”

 

Sasuke knew that this was Naruto trying to be slick and sus out his preferences for sneaky match making but for once he did want to be honest and he did promise himself that he would open up. So instead of a snarky come back he said, “Hmm. I think someone with a strong personality.”

 

“I find myself struggling with my identity and what I want sometimes, and I would not want to be in a relationship with another person who is also looking for an identity. As selfish as that may come across.”

 

“I would like someone who is exceedingly competent, strong willed, and is preferably not a civilian. I have been through and seen a lot of shit. I think someone who has also been through similar things would make life easier.”

 

“I want someone who I could consider an equal.  I want to be able to protect them, yes, but I also want to know that if something were to happen to me, they could protect themselves. I need to know that they could protect our family and potentially do a better job at that than even I could myself if needed.”

 

Sasuke then paused his ramblings deciding that that was enough info to satiate Naruto’s curiosity.

 

Naruto gave a brief huff of air as they entered the living room again and he sat on the couch. Sasuke joining him and reclining back.

 

Naruto looked over at him and said, “You drive a hard bargain there buddy and you’ve got the highest expectations known to man… Not shocked though considering you are a prodigy and its only right that you’d want someone who’s on your level.”

 

“The only thing about that is there is only like a handful of women in Konoha who could fit that bill and who aren’t married. And there’s a significantly less amount of those women who are in our age group you know.”

 

Sasuke did know this but in the time that Naruto was saying all of this an image popped into his mind. A woman with shoulder length pink hair and piercing green eyes that could intimidate men and women alike. A woman who could bring both buildings and men crumbling down with barely any force. A woman who could take and save lives as easy as breathing.

 

A woman who was planning to leave Konoha soon for yet another mission.

~~~~~+~~~~~

Sasuke sat the table with Hinata and Naruto, it was a round dinner table that made the situation feel less formal for him. He listened as Naruto filled him in about the latest shenanigans that he and Kakashi had gotten up to when he was supposed to be shadowing the man.

 

It did sound like good fun to him and the more that Naruto talked the more it made him miss the times when Kakashi was just their sensei, and they could go out on missions and goof off. It made him feel slightly melancholic for a time before the Chunin exams.

 

Hinata was also pleasant to talk with and she filled him in on some of the surface level activities of her clan. Her demeanor and disposition put him at ease, and he felt like he could speak freely when in her presence. He found himself very interested in the inner workings of her clan. Not so much to learn their secrets but because he knows that had his own clan survived perhaps some of the things they did would have been similar.

 

Hinata then looked to him and paused in her ramblings about her clan. Her gaze had finally made direct eye contact with his own instead of focusing on the food. She asked, “How have you been Sasuke? I know that Naruto has been very excited to know that you will be back in town indefinitely. I am curious to know how you have been adjusting?”

Naruto blushed at the comment Hinata made but did not make any comments. Allowing Sasuke to gather his thoughts which was appreciated.

 

“It’s been a much slower pace than what I am used to, being on the road for so long, but it is a needed change of pace. I find myself wondering about all of the changes that have happened in the time that I have been away. Particularly to the people as much as the village itself.”

 

Hinata leaned her head to the side and stated, “good changes, I hope.”

 

Sasuke was unsure if every change that he noticed was a good change especially as it pertains to his classmates. For the most part everyone was still easy to read like Ino or Naruto. Of course, he didn’t know Ino as well as Naruto, but he could pick up on her social cues easily enough.

 

Of course, he also did not know Hinata all that well, but her presence was still calming all the same. No, he supposed the biggest change he noticed came from Sakura and he could not quite put his finger on why it bothered him so much. But it clearly did judging by the fact that his and Naruto’s earlier conversation was still plaguing him.

 

In response to Hinata he said, “I suppose.”

 

However, he had not accounted for how perceptive Hinata was and she was still able to pick up that something was bothering him. She asked, “is there a particular change that bothers you?”

 

Sasuke supposed that she was very likely just making conversation and had no idea of how incredibly pointed the question made him feel internally but again he wanted to try to be honest.

 

“I suppose I have been worried about Sakura we have been training together for the last couple of days since Naruto has been so busy. It appears like she is always working herself to the bone. I worry that this will catch up to her eventually.”

 

“However, I do not feel like I can say anything about this without her taking offense. I believe you two are close has this been your perspective?”

 

Hinata blinked at him and for one second there was shock on her face as if him showing concern for Sakura was out of the ordinary before it was gone and a pleasant looked replaced the shock. There seemed to appear to be some sort of spark in her eyes immediately afterwards but he could not pinpoint what it meant.

 

Before Hinata could respond Naruto piped in and said, “I mean we have all been concerned I think,” he said as he scratched the back of his neck. “But at the end of the day were teammates so just be blunt and express your concerns… That’s always my policy and it works 90% of the time.”

 

“And the other 10%?” Sasuke asked. Having an inkling of where that lead.

 

“A swift hit to the head.” Naruto chuckled out.

 

Sasuke knew that in any other circumstance perhaps Naruto’s advice would have worked for him. If he existed in another world where he did not leave Konoha at such a young age. If he had stayed and forged the proper bonds with both of his teammates. If his clan had not been brutally murdered and he was given a chance to learn how to be around people socially.

 

But this was not that world and the chasm that seemed to form between him and Sakura felt almost insurmountable. But despite this he still wanted to cross it to find her true spirit and not the mask that she seems to only wear in his presence.

 

He knew why she did it. He had hurt her many times over the years, sometimes to protect her and other times to be cruel. He knew that logically this is only her being smart and protecting herself. However, it did not hurt any less. Because he did want that ideal world.

 

It hurt him to know that the amount of hurt that he caused may not be forgivable and with anyone else it did not matter to him. He has suffered enough at the hands of this village even if the ways in which he lashed out were extremes. But with Sakura he wanted to try to set things straight.

 

He did not want to erase what he had done, but he did want to show that he can be better and that he has changed.

 

Hinata seemed to be studying him, and he realized that he had been silent for longer that what was probably socially acceptable.

 

“I think more than anything Sakura needs support, and she needs to know that no matter where she is she will always have that. She has been through a lot and continues to choose to save the lives of those less fortunate and give without being replenished herself.” Hinata said matter of factly.

 

“I have dabbled in healing work myself out in the field and it is not easy doing so having been through your own war. It’s almost akin to retraumatizing yourself when things don’t go as planned or when you lose a patient.” She said.

 

He caught Hinata’s eye as she said to him, “honestly a great many things need change between you two, but I believe the first step for you has to be initiative. If you want to show that you care, then that has to be consistent before she or anyone really would want to open up.”

 

Initiative, he thought. He suddenly felt like he had no idea how to go about that. But Hinata appeared to read his mind.

 

“Come join us in seeing Sakura off tomorrow before her mission. I think this can be your first step as long as you are able to keep it up.” She spoke.

 

Sasuke slowly nodded his head unsure of what he would even say tomorrow but sure that he would figure it out upon seeing her.

Notes:

This chapter is for sure not beta read. But I was happy to finish it so I wanted to post it. Sorry for any typos.