Work Text:
“I think someone’s playing a prank on me.”
Bobbi looks up from her computer screen to find Melinda May looming over her - at least as much as someone who’s five-three can loom.
“Yeah?”
“I have not had a single pen work for the last three weeks,” May huffs, sliding further into Bobbi’s cubicle and leaning against Bobbi’s desk. “There’s no other explanation.”
“It took you three weeks to realize someone was pranking you?” Bobbi asks, eyebrow tilting up in disbelief. May’s not the kind to let little details slip beneath her notice, and only being suspicious after three fucking weeks reeks of… something.
“I’ve been distracted.”
“By?”
“Nothing,” May answers breezily. Bobbi sighs but doesn’t push. It’s easier to get information out of a brick wall than Melinda May.
“Here.” Bobbi holds up a ballpoint pen, one she’s certain is in mint condition, and hands it to May.
“Thanks, Morse.”
Bobbi offers May a small smile before the other woman returns to her cubicle.
---
Two days later, May flags Bobbi down in the break room.
“Someone is definitely pranking me,” she declares as she holds out her thermos for Bobbi to fill with hot water.
“I have a feeling there’s a story to go with this.”
“When I got in this morning, everything was moved two inches to the right.”
“You notice that, but not someone messing with your pens for almost a month?”
“I wasn’t distracted this morning,” May says, as if it should be obvious. Bobbi doesn’t want to ask.
“Who’s pranking you?” she asks instead.
“Maybe Coulson. Maybe Daisy. I’m going to do more research.”
“Research?” Bobbi echoes dubiously.
“Pranking them back,” May says - again, like it’s obvious and Bobbi’s a little thick for not understanding.
“Good luck.”
“Don’t good luck me.” May grins. “Help me.”
Bobbi sighs. What had she gotten herself into?
---
“Isn’t this kind of unnecessary?”
“No.” May finishes wrapping the last of Coulson’s office in cellophane, and steps back to survey her work. “He needs to learn not to mess with me.”
“You don’t even know it was him!”
“But this way he won’t try anything, even if the first pranks were him.”
Bobbi lets out a long sigh. “You know how wasteful this is, right?”
“I’ll find a way to reuse the cellophane, don’t worry,” May says, waving her hand. “I don’t want to kill the earth.”
“But you do want to kill Coulson.”
“I want to frustrate Coulson. It’s not like he’s not capable of undoing all this himself.”
Bobbi shakes her head. Sure, Coulson is capable of unwrapping every single item in his office, but she has a feeling it’ll be some poor intern who ends up doing the bulk of the work. Coulson’s a patient man, but no one’s this patient.
“Daisy next?” Bobbi asks, resigned to her role as partner-in-crime.
May smiles a devilishly sweet smile, one which would be scary on anyone else but is absolutely terrifying on her.
---
The next day, Daisy and Coulson find their respective workspaces thoroughly vandalized and have no question about who the culprit is. Bobbi’s lucky her role as an accomplice doesn’t get her into hot water, but guilt creeps up on her as Daisy and Coulson both rib May for her pranks - well executed, but with a poorly hidden trail. Of course, May had intended for both of them to be able to trace the prank back to her, since she wanted to know which of them had initiated the prank war, but they think it’s a flaw in her super-secret spy skills. Super-secret spy skills which are totally necessary in a nine-to-five cubicle job.
When the other two are done giving May flack, Bobbi sidles over to the other woman’s cubicle.
“It wasn’t even either of them,” May huffs. “I don’t know who else it could be.”
Bobbi raises her eyebrows. “Me?”
“You?” May says, looking up at Bobbi. “Funny, Morse.”
“No, I mean it was me.” Bobbi kind of wants to smack her forehead against the nearest wall.
“What?”
“I like it when you come to my cubicle.” Bobbi attempts nonchalance when she shrugged. “Drying out your pens made you visit more often.”
“You pranked me… so I would come visit you?”
“Yeah.” Bobbi shrugs again, looking away. “And I know you’ve been distracted lately -”
“Distracted by you,” May interrupts.
Oh.
Well, Bobbi certainly hadn’t expected that.
“Uh… Good distraction?” she asks after a too-long pause.
“Yeah,” May answers, her voice falling into the same awkward cadence Bobbi can hear in herself.
“So…” Bobbi says, struggling for words. Mentioning May coming to her desk wasn’t supposed to be a love confession, but apparently it had come out that way. And apparently her crush is more reciprocated than she’d led herself to believe, which is… something.
“So,” May repeats.
“Do you, uh, want to get a drink or something, then?”
May’s eyes flash dangerously. “First I have to get my revenge.”
Bobbi thinks this probably isn’t the healthiest start to a relationship, but she can’t help the smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.
She’ll just have to be ready for whatever Melinda May throws at her.