Chapter 1: Track 01: “Whereabouts Unknown”
Chapter Text
No one in their right mind would ever want to live in a place like Bunnyburrow.
Maybe that's my bias as a fox speaking. But when the train pulled into the podunk station, I was greeted by the sea of a hundred rabbit ears from the platform of the station. Then there was the carrot decor. Colors of orange and green at every corner. Absolutely distasteful.
Not that I hated bunnies, mind you. My best friend, Jack, was an arctic hare, after all.
But when I had signed up to join the police force, the last thing I had expected or wanted was to be pulled into one of Zootopia’s “outreach programs.” I hoped to be placed in precinct one, like Jack had done two years prior. But I suppose when you fail the academy final exam two times in a row and manage to get your badge by the skin of your teeth, you can't exactly complain where they assign you.
Having Jack keep me company on the ride was a small comfort.
[How bad is it?] He asked me over texts. [Pitchforks waiting for you? They chasing you into the windmill yet, Barkenstein?]
[Barkenstein was the doctor, jerkwad.]
[Yeah, well, I never paid attention to those old movies anyway. Come on, Nick. I've never stepped outside the city my whole life. Describe it for me. I'm curious to hear how the other bunnies live.]
I sighed and collected my bags.
Most of what I owned could fit into one travel suitcase, stuffed to bursting with clothes and bathroom necessities. Light travel for moving into a new place. The other case had my guitar in it, the only form of entertainment I had brought with me outside of my brand new cellphone.
[You know, you could just break away from your exciting job in precinct one, Officer Savage. I know that’s hard, given how you have to save the city every other day. You could bring all your hot air with you when come visit me. It'll be marvelous for sailing.]
[Why? Do they have a lake there?]
I looked around after stepping off the train. Even though Jack was over two hundred miles away, I thought the gesture of surveying my new home would at least humor him before I responded to him again.
[No. But remember that other horror movie I showed you? The Kits of the Korn?]
[The one with all the murderous zealot children? Yeah. That one was hilarious.]
[Well, I think I'd much prefer that over Bunnyburrow. Goat psychopaths and all.]
[High praise from you. I'll have to take my next vacation time there.]
I was being unfair for the sake of playing with Jack's imagination.
In truth, things were exactly how I expected them to be when I heard the name Bunnyburrow. Past the train station there were farmlands as far as the eye could see. I spied the occasional barn or building on the horizon. But what distracted me was the literal horde of rabbits gathered around the road leading from the station.
A colorful sign that made an irritating ticking noise put a number to the bunny head count.
“Eighty million rabbits, huh?”
I muttered it loudly to allow one of the nearby locals to overhear me. Perhaps they could correct me so my head didn't explode trying to comprehend the logistics of such a number. When no one humored the dumb city fox gawking at the sign, I decided to entertain myself further. I snapped a picture of the sign before fiddling with my messenger.
“Send. To. Jack.”
I waited as the poor service battled with my phone. It would have been easier to send a bomb through the mail. Jack finally responded after a good five minutes when the crowd had died down.
[Daaaaang. I feel sorry for the poor flatfoot who has to manage that podunk. Oh. Wait.]
Even though I was clicking my tongue through my teeth, I had to smile.
[That's Sheriff Wilde to you, buddy. Technically, I outrank you now.]
[Sorry. Can't hear you from my comfortable desk in the AC. Aren't you supposed to be working now too? Or are they paying you to sightsee?]
[You tell me. I don't see my ride.]
My orders had been pretty vague following my graduation from the academy.
I had been pulled aside after getting my badge during the ceremony by a zebra from the Mammal Resources in the ZPD. Apparently, my scores in physical training placed me as far away from Precinct One as possible. I wasn’t like Jack in that regard.
Jack and I had entered the academy together when we were both twenty three years of age. Jack put on airs, passing everything they threw at him with flying colors. Meanwhile I struggled with jogging a mile let alone running through a desert biome at 6 AM every day. Jack blew through classes in one year. I was left behind for another two as I tried to get my physical training to passable levels.
Despite all that, I wasn't jealous of Jack.
We both had our strengths. Mine just happened to involve using my tongue more than my brawn. Of course, outside of interrogation, charisma was a hard skill to test. Jack had given me all the support in the world, even being my personal trainer for the months when I couldn’t be asked to try. I just barely made it through my third annual finals, passing only from high marks in law. I always had a knack for memorizing the loopholes, even if it put me at the very bottom of the class.
I couldn’t complain. First fox of the ZPD, with the first rabbit as a good buddy of mine. Mom was certainly proud of that and threw a big party for all three of us. Me, Jack, and her. Our close knit family.
I suppose that was why I felt tired and out of place on my first assignment.
There’s Nicholas Wilde, standing at the Bunnyburrow station in his civies carrying his guitar. He’s further from home than he’s ever been in his entire life. His only orders were to take the 7 AM train into Bunnyburrow to assume the vacant position of town sheriff. The deputy was supposed to be there to pick me up and take me to the station to get my introductions in order. But thirty minutes since I had arrived and the platform had completely emptied of rabbits.
I debated walking down the dirt road in vain hope of finding some sort of civilization outside of the train station. The farms went on and on forever, like I was in the nexus of the universe. But before I could commit to the thought of randomly scouting the area, I spied a police vehicle speeding down the bumpy street. Better late than a lost fox wandering the countryside.
Couldn’t say my deputy impressed me much, tardiness aside.
When he stepped out of the driver seat, I saw his gut before I saw his face. The rabbit was shorter than me, but more than made up for it in his width. I could hear him wheezing just from sitting up in the driver’s seat. There was thin brown fur under his wide rim cap and he was so slow that I had time to shoot a quick text out to Jack.
[Ride’s here. Reminds me of that new cheetah you described in the ZPD.]
The deputy waited patiently as I put my phone down. His smile showed a single silver bucktooth and his voice had that thick southern drawl I knew from many a movie night spent with Jack.
“Nick Wilde?”
“Not many other foxes around here to mistake me for anyone else.”
The deputy laughed. “Have to say, we’ve never had a fox cop before in the burrows.”
“Well, there’s a first time for everything,” I said, stretching out my paw to shake. “Deputy…?”
“Slack. Hank Slack.”
My phone buzzed as I pulled away from the rabbit, with Jack’s first impressions of my new partner.
[Mammals like that care more about donuts than they do actual police work.]
Riding along the dirt road was as bumpy as I expected it to be.
Hank was doing a disservice to the stereotype of rabbits having poor eyesight and I got real nervous whenever he glanced off the road. Somehow, he could maintain his cheerful demeanor despite nearly skidding into a mailbox.
“So, Nick...Can I call you Nick?”
“I don’t think me objecting is going to stop you, so go for it.”
“Heh, true enough. So. Any ideas on what we’re supposed to be doing?”
“I was hoping you could tell me, considering I’m new in town.”
“Well, most of the other sheriffs just mosied over to the station and stayed there all day. Some of them had the habit of breaking into the booze before noon. That’s one tradition that I was hoping you might share.”
I honestly couldn’t tell if the rabbit was playing me for a laugh or being completely serious in his delivery. He nailed the deadpan tone perfectly. Even though there were about twenty questions I could ask from his statement alone. I started with the first in the long line of concerns.
“The other sheriffs?”
“Yup! You’re the fifth in the last five years. They come and then they're gone for some time before anyone realizes they’ve left.”
“I’d hate to continue that trend” I spoke honestly.
“Don’t plan on sticking around?”
“Oh, I plan on staying as long as I have to. But this entire situation was just sort of bull-rushed onto me. And I’m a city fox, at heart.”
“Ah,” Hank said with an understanding smile. “You’re waiting for a position in the city to open up.”
We had all been told in the academy that positions in Precinct One were given to only the best of the best. Or, at least, those with strong references failing that. There was a very good reason for that. The city saw the most crime and danger, with everything between mob bosses to lowly pickpockets. I had been hearing firsthand accounts from Jack consistently for two years.
But the city was where I wanted to be. It was loud, scary, and lonely at times. But it was also home and I had known it my entire life. Completely unlike the burrows, which were so quiet that I could actually hear my bones grind as I moved. Being twenty six, I was too young to be thinking about my age.
“Well, that’s no surprise,” Hank continued as if I had answered him. “That’s what happened to two of them. Them being the previous sheriffs. They were waiting for better positions in places closer to home for them. One got fired after getting caught drunk on the job; he was my favorite. And the last one, a pig, burnt out and joined the state troops after she ticked off the mayor one too many times.”
“I’m sensing a pattern of degrading quality.”
“Hah, maybe. What’s that say about you then?”
I played with the badge given during my graduation ceremony. It was all I had to prove my status as sheriff. No uniform. No hat. Just a dumb fox with a guitar, half a wardrobe of clothes, and a cellphone. And dreams of home.
“Nothing good,” I said with a smile. “But I aim to impress. And I don’t scare easily. I guarantee you’ve never had a sheriff quite like me before.”
“Well, we’ll see how you fair then, Nick. Not much to do in the ways of work around here, if you were looking to make a good impression. The best thing you could do to speed your career is to make good with the mayor and meet folks.”
That made sense. Recommendations and all that.
“I might just do that. What’s the mayor’s name?”
“Hopps. Stuart Hopps. You’ll meet him soon enough, I’d wager. Hard not to run into the Hopps around here.”
Hank was right about one thing. There was very little to do in regards to work around the office.
We arrived at the police station at around ten. It was a dinky little shack off the side of the main street with four rooms. One main entrance, one holding cell, one interrogation room and one office to fit the both of us. There was no restroom. Instead, we had an outhouse out back. And a poor one, at that. It was a lesson I learned the hard way after holding in my bladder from the train ride.
My office was shared with Hank, who sat in the corner with what amounted to a grade school desk for a rabbit with his gut. Not that he seemed to mind. He was content with watching the TV propped up in the corner of the ceiling, playing some boring sitcom from the day shows. My own personal space was a minefield, if ever there was one.
The last sheriff didn’t do me any favors when she took off.
The first thing that greeted me was a stack of papers, unfiled and unlabelled. It took until noon to sort through them all and I realized they were mostly minor complaints and reports. The sort of things that don’t really matter but can get annoying en masse. Jack would call it busy work. When I cleared off the paper, dating and sorting it into the nearby file cabinet, I found a decent sized desk to call my own.
But following that morning exercise, and a quick lunch of subs from the local gas station, there was absolutely nothing to keep me occupied.
I had to make sure that the office phone was even plugged into the wall around 4 PM. That gave Hank a good chuckle as he stopped to look up from his soap operas.
“I told you, Nick. Not much to do around here. Unless you want to go on traffic duty out on the interstate.”
That didn’t sound very appealing on a hot summer day when the AC in the one cruiser we had was broken.
Besides that, I was uncomfortable enough as it was. The uniforms left for me were all rabbit sized and I had to settle for the largest we had. That still meant the sleeves were too short and the buttons was too tight. I had to roll up the cuffs and undo the top rows just to breathe easier. At least the hats were one-size-fits-all.
By sundown, I was familiar with every millimeter of our small confined space.
My phone was nearly dead after my attempts to use it as entertainment. At 10%, I realized that it was probably a dumb idea to kill my one source of communication when I didn’t even know where my apartment was in town yet. And I didn’t feel like digging out my charger and making a mess of my bag. So, I was bored. And when I get bored, dangerous side projects happen to keep my mind occupied.
I was in the middle of creating a styrofoam cup castle on my desk when we got an actual call. A typical thirty minutes before quitting time. Hank laughed as cups went everywhere and I scrambled across the table to reach the phone. I didn’t even fully think about what I was supposed to say before I answered.
“Bunnyburrow Police Department.”
“Hey, is Hank there? Could you tell him the hoodlums are at it again at the train station? Thanks.”
“Again?” I asked. “Wait, what?”
The line went dead and I sighed.
“TV off,” I ordered to Hank as I grabbed the keys for the cruiser. “Something’s going on at the train station.”
“So late to closing? How about we just phone this one in till morning, Nick?”
“Come on. I’m no happier about a late call than you are. But I don’t remember where this place is, so you’re going to have to drive me there.”
Hank’s mood did not improve the cramped space of my passenger seat.
Even with my advanced night vision as a fox, the twilight of the countryside took some adjustment. The rabbits were winding down for their early day on the farm, leaving an empty street on our drive. I glanced at the clock on the dashboard; it wasn’t even 7 PM yet.
“The call mentioned some hoodlums,” I said to try and cull the deputy's ire. “This sort of thing happen often?”
“It was probably the Station Master, Tony,” Hank spoke with a dull tone. “It’s just kids being kids, Nick. You’re best leaving it alone.”
“If it’s just kids being kids, that’s all the more reason to scare ‘em straight. Sounds like this is a regular occurrence too. Shouldn’t it be our job to stop this sort of thing?”
Hank just hummed.
I would have given him more trouble if I didn’t start to recognize where we were. After the long wait for Hank that morning, I had grown familiar with the train station and the sights around it.
“Park off to the side,” I ordered. “Don’t want to spook them, wherever they are. You can wait here, if you want.”
The kids were being far from subtle in their debauchery.
I could hear them hooting and hollering even a whole hundred yards away from the cruiser. I kept low in the grass as I stepped out of the car and let my natural senses take over.
Suddenly, I was a predator stalking some unsuspecting prey as I came upon the scene right near the rails.
There were five of them. All prey, like my nose had detected. They were giggling over the stupid Bunnyburrow population sign I had taken a picture of earlier. I squinted to see that the hoodlums spray painted over the lettering, crossing out the word “Population” and replacing it with the word “Punks.” They had even crossed out the lower welcome sign with “Podunk” instead.
I certainly didn’t see the humor in it.
A giddy sensation rose in my stomach as I kept low to the grass. Secretly, I think I had always wanted to be that cop who got to scare the crackers out of some kids for misbehaving. Not punish them, but just slap them on the wrist. Give them a story to tell to their friends at school.
In the rush, I neglected to watch my feet. A convenient twig snapped between my toes. Ten ears shot up into the air.
All the kids were rabbits judging by how high their ears rose. Though I was obscured by the grass, they were looking straight at me. They knew I was there and were prepared to scatter at the first sign of danger.
Barreling out of the bush like a savage was sure to send them running. I did the only reasonable thing I could think of in that situation—Maintain the professional composure of a police officer. Maybe they wouldn’t flee.
That was too much to hope for.
As soon as they caught wind of my police hat, they tore off in random directions faster than I could identify myself.
“Police! Freeze!”
I was slow for a fox, even with all the police training under my belt. Not to mention, they had their head start and advantage in numbers as I wasn’t sure which direction to go. But luck was on my side as one of the rabbits had a limp, given by how she hopped off using only her right foot. I could tell she was female by her grunts, which only intensified when I grabbed her by the wrist.
“Let me go, you stupid fox!”
Even with the lame leg, she put up quite the fight, kicking me all the way to the car as I dragged her.
“Come on now,” I grunted. “If I let you go, you’re just going to take off.”
“Exactly!”
At least she was honest about it . Wasn’t helping her case much though.
I tried my best not to be rough with her. But, with her squirming, that was proving to be a challenge. A thought occurred that if I identified myself to her, maybe she’d calm down.
“I’m Officer Nicholas Wilde. The new sheriff from Zootopia.”
“Pleased to meet you. I’m who cares, from up yours.”
Apparently manners were also too much to hope for in the burrows...
“Very clever, sweetheart. Did you come up with that one yourself?”
It was hard to get a good look at her from behind.
It didn’t help that she was dressed in almost all black, from her hoodie to the shredded jeans. Her ears each had a few earrings to them, going up and stopping before they reached the top; it was like she had changed her mind halfway through the piercings. Most of all were her eyes, which I caught whenever she turned around to snarl at me. Wild and purple.
It surprised me to see Hank pull himself from the car upon our arrival. I didn’t think the deputy had the motivation to stand.
“What did you do?” he hissed through his silver teeth.
“Caught one of them,” I replied. “Relax, Hank. We’re just taking her in to call her parents.”
The plan was just to scare her. But it was Hank who looked scared.
“Nick, that’s Judy Hopps . The mayor’s daughter.”
Chapter 2: Track 02: “She’s a Rebel”
Notes:
It's been a crazy week. I hope everyone is staying safe out there!
Chapter Text
Judy put up a fight all the way to the station, kicking and cursing the whole drive.
I had to confirm her age with Hank to determine if we could legally question her or not. But I could tell by looking at her in the light of our office. Seventeen, almost eighteen. Full of spunk and energy, as would be expected at that age. The trouble Jack and I used to get into couldn’t compare to this doe when I gathered her record, a small perk of sorting through my previous occupant’s paperwork. Judy had a folder the size of a dictionary.
“Judith Laverne Hopps,” I enjoyed watching her squirm at hearing her full name. “Birthday: June 18th 1992. Hey. That’s not too far from now.”
She huffed and turned away from me.
I had brought her into the interrogation room while Hank was in the office ringing up her father. If I was going to pay for bringing in the mayor’s daughter, I was going to make sure she was spooked enough to never give me trouble again in the future.
But there wasn’t fear in her eyes. Just pure hatred in its rawest form. Being a fox, I was used to seeing that kind of look from the older generation of rabbits in Zootopia. To see it from someone so young was sobering and caused me to hesitate.
I could get a better look at her as I paced around the single chair in the room we occupied.
She was wearing knee-cut jeans and a black hoodie, though I could see the white logo of some punk rock band from the front of her jacket. Now that I wasn’t struggling with her, I could also count how many earrings she had on. Seven, a lucky number. Three on the right ear and four on the left, causing it to slightly dangle. She also had on a collar around her neck with an orange carrot as its gemstone.
“So,” I said, letting the mood sink in for long enough. “Care to explain yourself tonight?”
She said nothing, faking she didn’t hear me.
“The quicker we get through this, the sooner you go home.”
“I was out for a walk with friends,” she snapped.
“The Bunnyburrow sign would disagree with you.”
“It’s always like that.”
‘Funny that,” I said, pulling up the text message I had sent Jack earlier with the sign. “This is what it looked like this morning.”
She stared at the picture. A worrisome smile started to build on her face. It was the look of mayhem.
“Who’s Jack?” she asked. “Your boyfriend?”
“Hah, he wishes.”
The rabbit bit back a laugh. Progress. Small, but it was something. If scaring her wouldn’t work, then perhaps I could play the good cop.
“Listen, Judy…”
“Don’t call me that. You haven’t earned it.”
I clicked my tongue. “Alright then, Miss Hopps…”
“And you’re not my teacher either. Pick something else.”
“Fine,” I glanced at the choker around her neck. “Would you prefer Carrots?”
“Whatever.”
I sighed. She had all the indifference of a stone wall and was just as stubborn.
“Look, can’t you just tell me why you were doing what you were doing tonight? I’m trying to be nice here.”
“I wasn’t doing anything unusual,” she said. “You can count, right? There were five of us.”
“So?”
“So, what makes you think we were the ones who graffitied the sign?”
“Couldn’t tell you. Certainly wasn’t you fleeing from an officer at the scene of the crime.”
“Then where’s your proof that it was me and not one of my friends?”
Her question gave me the feeling that little miss Judy was more experienced in speaking with cops than I was giving her credit for. I should have seen that by her callous disregard for authority. I had seen that a lot on the streets of Zootopia. I guess things weren’t much different in the sticks either.
“Look,” she said, leaning closer to me on her chair. “Are you going to make some real accusations here? If so, I’d like to call my dad first. Or are you going to arrest a minor?”
I folded my arms, mildly impressed that she knew the specifics of what my limits were concerning a minor and the law. She caught me completely off guard and I couldn’t find a way to renew my questioning without getting into a lot of trouble.
As if on cue, Hank slunk through the door.
“Uh, Nick. Mayor Hopps would like to speak to you.”
Oh, the smug look on Judy’s face. She knew exactly the sort of trouble I was about to be in. And given Hanks earlier reaction, I could only imagine the earful Mayor Hopps was about to give me. But I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of seeing me get chewed out. Instead, I retreated into the safety of the office where the phone was just left off the hook. There wasn’t even a “hold” button on the device. I sighed and picked it up.
“Hello?”
A stern southern voice greeted me with all the comfort of a cracking whip. “I assume I’m speaking to Sheriff Wilde?”
“Yes, sir. How do you do?”
“I’m wondering where the heck my daughter is at this time of night. Deputy Slack tells me you have her arrested.”
We had to call her parents as per regulation. I just wished Hank had handled the situation more gently.
“Not arrested, sir,” I fought a groan. “We just found her with a group of other kids spray painting the town sign.”
“And you assume that she’s the one responsible?”
“Well, if not her then we were hoping she might tell us. If you could come down to the station…”
“...Officer Wilde, this is your first day in office, yes?”
“That’s correct, sir. Yes.”
“Well, would you like to make it to day two?”
I had to do my own reading that afternoon to learn that my paycheck was funded by Bunnyburrow town council. Being sheriff wasn’t an elected position chosen by the public and was instead picked by heads of the town. And I couldn’t say just how politics worked in the burrows yet, given it hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since I stepped off the train.
It was a long way of saying, Mr. Hopps’ threat might have been genuine and I was better off holding my tongue for now.
“...I would, sir.”
“Then here’s how this will play out. You’re going to drive my daughter back home and we’re going to pretend that this never happened. I’m a fair rabbit, Officer Wilde. This is your first day and mistakes happen. But, in the future, you do not threaten my family. Is that understood?”
I was thankful he couldn’t see me roll my eyes over the phone.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. I expect to see Judy in thirty minutes.”
Click . Not even a goodbye. Nice rabbit.
Well, Nick. Congrats. You managed to tick off the mayor on your first day. I could only imagine the earful of laughs Jack was going to give me when he heard this. As if sensing that thought, my cellphone finally died in my paws.
I sighed and wiped at my eyes.
Judy’s record was still on the table and Hank was looking at me expectantly. He was already waving the keys to the car, as if he knew how my conversation with the mayor was going to end.
“Alright,” I said reluctantly. “Bring her home.”
I didn’t go with them. Partially because I didn’t want to give Judy the satisfaction but mostly because my instincts told me not to give Mayor Hopps a worse first impression than I already had. Best he know my face under better circumstances, if I could help it.
There was also the matter of my apartment.
I had done some research that day on where I was meant to sleep during my oh-so-comfortable stay in Bunnyburrow and, thankfully, it was within walking distance to the station. I shuffled across the street with my bag, my guitar, and Judy’s record for future reading material. The moon and the stars were the only lights for miles around, something I wasn’t used to living in the city my whole life.
I was heading for a charming little park off from the side of the town square. The residents called it Foxburrow, perhaps to spite the rabbits. The acre of grass amounted to little more than a trailer park, with plenty of foxes and makeshift homes. Those who could spend the extra money had the option to live in the nearby apartment complex, though even that looked like one of those cheap motels you’d see off the side of a highway.
A rather charming skunk at the main office of the complex gave me my key. It appeared he didn’t enjoy being disturbed at nine in the evening, judging by the glare he was giving me. I wasn’t even given the courtesy of an offered tour of the place. Just take me key and leave.
But I continued to smile. Never let them see they get to you, as Jack would say.
The town was paying for my apartment as a part of the outreach program, at least. But I soon learned I would be sharing it with a roommate. The mailbox at the door told me who that would be.
“G. Grey, huh?”
After knocking, I quickly realized that my roommate wasn’t home, which was for the best. I wasn’t at my best and meeting new mammals would probably just leave me in a worse mood. Though the state of the apartment did enough to sour my spirits.
It was safe to say that my roommate was a complete slob with the stacks of chest-high dirty dishes in the living area. There were stains on the wall that looked months old and discarded clothing everywhere. It took me a moment to get the lay of the land. It was a two bedroom apartment: one kitchen, one living room, and one bathroom. Standard and cheap, maybe six hundred square feet.
I carefully navigated through the mountains of plates to where my bedroom would be.
I discovered that my roommate had used the area for storage, though the bed was graciously left untouched. I could put my bags down amongst the cardboard boxes scattered about the room. That was after I had stubbed my toes on a few of them haphazardly placed on the floor.
“Alright,” I growled. “First thing’s first. I am not living in the warehouse from Raiders of the Lost Bark.”
It took until midnight for me to clean all of the dishes and assemble the boxes into towers like Little Rodentia. The apartment looked livable at that point.
I should have been exhausted with the long night, but doing nothing in the police station had given me plenty of energy. Plus, I was hoping to stay up and at least see who my roommate was. But even at the stroke of twelve, he was a no show. I guessed he worked a late shift.
Again, I didn’t mind. I could wait a little longer.
I was thankful my bedroom had an overhead lamp. Besides the actual bed, there was no furniture in sight. And, with the chores done, I could finally sit back and unpack.
I put my clothes into a neat pile atop one of the cardboard boxes, which would serve as my dresser until I could find the time to visit some garage sales for cheap furniture. I finally dug up my phone charger and plugged it into the only outlet of my room. No doubt Jack was probably itching to ask me how the first day went. No doubt, he was going to laugh his tail off when I told him I had managed to cheese the mayor off on my first day.
As I changed for bed, I glared down at Judy’s file.
While interrogating her, I had skimmed briefly through the basics. But I hadn’t the time to give an in depth review of just how extensive it was. It felt like a novel in my paws.
“Judith Laverne Hopps,” I read the report aloud to give myself some fake company. “Ninety ninth child of Stuart and Bonnie Hopps. Age, seventeen. Eyes, purple. Fur, grey. Education, none. Occupation, none.”
The first page beyond the introduction held a colorful detail of an account where Judy had hijacked a police car and driven it straight into a ditch despite having no license. A picture showed the cruiser with black spray paint all over it with the words “Officer Piggy” and “Oink oink.” That explained why the station had only one vehicle.
“Jeez,” I winced as the record continued to go downhill from there. “You’re quite the rebel, aren’t you?”
In the past year, most of Judy’s ire had been focused on making my predecessor’s life, Officer Humphrey, a living nightmare.
Most crimes had been done specifically to the target the poor pig, from rocks through the windows to setting a barrel on fire in Humphrey's driveway. It was no wonder my little police officer act hadn’t scared her. She showed no fear when it came to cops and by the details of each report, I could tell that Humphrey seemed to have it out for Judy by how she was a primary focus in many offenses.
The Humphrey-themed entries stopped about a year back and changed course to more expansive crimes.
There were at least twenty accounts of stealing, mostly minor things from candy to video games to cigarettes. Things too cheap to really harm anyone. I learned that she had been expelled from the local high school at age fifteen for a fight in the school cafeteria. She had almost gotten arrested for spitting on cars from atop a highway overpass and nearly causing an accident. Thankfully, her file held no reports or mentions of anyone getting seriously hurt. Not until the very end.
It continued, all the way back for five years. At age twelve, she had her first police record after beating up some fox. I had to read it again just to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me. A bunny had managed to give a fifteen year old todd a concussion.
The name of the victim also raised my eye.
“Gideon Grey...Wonder if he’s related to my roommate.”
The most expensive item Judy had ever tried to steal came early in her delinquent career, shortly after she had beaten up the fox. She tried to swipe drugs from the local pharmacy. Given she was fourteen, it was a slap on the wrist for her. But the name of the drug caught my attention.
“Cilostazol,” I muttered as I read more details. “Leg pain medicine?”
I recalled Judy’s limp.
It hadn’t been from when I caught her, and she got angry when I tried to fuss over it in the cruiser. Despite the burning curiosity to get the juicy details, I resisted the temptation and closed the folder. At least now I had a better idea of who I was dealing with. Though, she was leaving me with more questions than answers, among other feelings.
A big part of me was sorry for her.
Though I had gone the straight-and-narrow with Jack, a great many kits from Zootopia slums turned to other avenues of livelihood. You saw it all the time. Broken homes leading to broken mammals who turned to a life of crime. The signs would show early on, much in the way of Judy’s record. Hanging out with the wrong crowd. Small crimes that would lead to big, dangerous ones. Usually drugs or dirty work with colorful characters, like the mobster Mr. Big.
Judy was underage. Though her record would never disappear, she still wasn’t held as an adult yet. Once she turned eighteen, however, that would all change. Suddenly, stealing would become a major offense with stacking consequences. Even being the mayor’s child probably wouldn’t spare her if she did something really bad. And given her track record, that was only a matter of time.
I glanced over to my charging cellphone at my bedside. It was 2 AM and I still felt wide awake.
There was still no sign of my roommate yet and Jack was probably asleep at that point. The rabbit had a routine schedule that made him real nasty if I ever interrupted it. I suddenly realized just how alone I was. How quiet the country was.
In the city, at least, you had the sounds of passing cars on the street to keep you company. But in the dark of my broken-down apartment, I didn’t even have a pillow or bed sheets to make myself comfortable. I could surf the internet until I got tired, but I had enough of using my phone for entertainment. I needed some noise to remind me that I was alive. Or music, in my case.
I grabbed my guitar case on the side of the bed.
My acoustic guitar was probably the most expensive thing I owned. I had purchased it when I was a kit of sixteen. I had made sure it was the best quality, doing the necessary research for weeks and asking enough questions to annoy the shop owner. It took an entire year of holding off on lunch money and doing chores for mom around the apartment to afford it. I believe finally getting it and feeling it in my paws was what it was like for a parent to hold their child for the first time.
Anyone can tell you that there’s something special about an expensive toy that you buy yourself. When it’s a gift from someone else, it’s different. You appreciate it, but you don’t truly love it. You don’t know the sacrifice it was. And living as poor as we did in Zootopia, I knew full well the cost of what I held.
You’d think mom would have talked me out of it, given she was having trouble just holding her job as a waitress. But she was happy to see me happy. And it’s not like the guitar didn’t help pay for itself with all the busking I did afterwards.
I had been a bad guitar owner though.
It had been months since I touched my baby, what with the difficulties in the academy and all. There just wasn’t time to practice and give music the full attention it deserved. Make no mistake. Music is a very demanding mistress. But if you love it, then it will love you.
My guitar shrieked like a banshee as I ran my claw over the strings.
“Out of tune,” I muttered, as I fiddled with the tuners.
Minutes turned into hours as I fell back into the familiar groove with my old calluses aching. Just like riding a bicycle. Only you couldn’t feel a bicycle. But you felt music. Not in your paws, but in your chest. Somewhere near the heart.
In some ways, it burned away all the stress of the day. Even though I had long abused and abandoned it, the music had never left my soul and my paws ached to play.
In the shadows of my foxhole of an apartment, it was nice to know that a song could still keep me company.
Chapter 3: Track 03: “Fat Lip”
Notes:
It feels like things are getting scarier everyday out there, so I hope everyone is staying safe. Sure picked a good time to start releasing this story, eh? I wish that the panic slows down and everyone keeps healthy in the days to come.
Chapter Text
I woke at 8 AM with my back to the wall and my guitar still in my paws. There were about twenty missed messages on my fully charged cellphone. Nineteen were from Jack and one from my mom making sure I had gotten to the burrows alright.
I groaned and got to changing clothes while I sorted through the concerned texts.
I kindly let my mom know that I was fine and that I’d call her later when I had a free moment. Jack was a bit more challenging to handle with degrading messages like:
[Niiiiiiick. Wake up, dumb fox.]
[Don’t tell me they got you with the torches and pitchforks already.]
[Do I need to send a TUSK squad down there to get you out?]
The scary thing is, I could never tell if Jack was kidding or not. Those kinds of threats were just the sort of crazy shenanigans he’d pull on me, if only for a laugh. Upon reading his last message, I scrambled to get a reply out before I started hearing sirens coming for me in the distance.
[Do. Not. Send. A TUSK squad. I’m fine. I just fell asleep.]
[Well, that got you up. Didn’t it? Rough night?]
[You could say that…]
[Do tell.]
I paused and looked to Judy’s record, still resting on my nightstand.
Where to even begin with the trouble I was already in? Playing music all night had done too well to make me forget most of the details.
[We had only one call all day. It happened to be for the mayor’s daughter vandalizing the population sign. I learned who she was the hard way when I brought her in.]
[Oh, snap. Are you in trouble?]
[Don’t know yet. I’ll find out soon enough.]
Work started in an hour, according to my orders coming to the burrows. Typical job, 9 to 6 with Sundays off. Just needed to keep my beeper on me at all times in case of an emergency call. I remembered the walk from the station taking me a good half hour, so I’d have to get moving. After last night, I didn’t want to give the mayor anymore ammunition against me. Even if Hank probably wouldn’t care if I showed up late.
I put my guitar away and started getting dressed, all while reading Jack’s replies.
[What’s her name?]
[Why do you want to know?] I asked.
[Just wondering. No reason.]
[Uh huh. You sound as innocent as sunrise.]
[What? Just thinking about taking her for a ride is all. Send some of the guys in the precinct down to talk to her. Scaring her a bit. No one has to know.]
[Jack, no.]
[Jack, yes,] came his smug retort.
In his two years of service, Jack had become the precinct one golden boy. Despite that, he had a reputation for playing very loose with the law when he could easily cover for himself. This was especially true when it came to protecting friends and family. I tried my best to dissuade him.
[I doubt it would work. She’s got a pretty extensive record and wasn’t scared of me at all.]
[Now I’m really curious. Name, please.]
I sighed. He was never going to stop unless I gave it to him. Though, I couldn’t help but feel I was signing Judy’s execution warrant as I typed her name out.
[...Judith Laverne Hopps.]
[Haha, Laverne? That’s almost as weird a middle name as you, Piberius.]
[Look who’s talking, Moreese.]
Jack went quiet for a while after that.
If I had to guess, he was probably running a search on Judy through the ZPD computer system. Even though the burrows were well out of the city’s jurisdiction, he had mentioned that Zootopia still kept tabs on potential criminals. When you had two hundred million different mammals of all various species in one city, you needed to make sure just who lived there and who to watch out for during any immigration processes. At most, Jack would find a profile with some personal data on Judy that could satisfy his curiosity.
It got him out of my fur long enough to finish changing and head out for work. Upon leaving my bedroom, I was greeted by another surprise in the form of a blue sticky note placed on my door.
Hey neighbor. Sorry, late shift. Passed out in bedroom. Thx for doing dishes. Leftovers in fridge. Help yourself. -G.
I looked across the hall to find the other bedroom door locked. When I listened carefully, I could hear someone snoring inside. My assumptions about my roommate’s night shift were correct. I had never been in a conversation with someone solely through sticky notes before. And the promise of food when I had gone to bed without dinner was too tempting to ignore.
Thx, bud, I scribbled a reply on another sticky note for G’s door. I have off Sunday. Maybe we can chat then. -N.
Our fridge held a literal treasure trove of delicious foods, well beyond what I would expect when I first entered the apartment.
There was the usual stuff, like fried cricket pizza, which I didn’t touch as a vegetarian. But I did notice various baked goods as well. My mouth salivated at the sight of some two-day-old blueberry pie. An unhealthy breakfast? Absolutely. But I allowed it for myself after skipping a meal.
As I stepped out the door, mouth filled with pie, it worried me that I hadn’t heard back from Jack yet. He was really taking his joke seriously. In the right mind, I should have been concerned.
But I had a long walk to the station.
Two hours later and Jack still hadn’t gotten back to me.
That was a very bad sign, but I had more pressing matters to contend with. Namely the job I had been assigned when I first stepped foot into the station. Yes, that’s right. Assigned.
I, the sheriff of the entire Bunnyburrow police force, was being ordered to clean up the mess Judy and her friends had left at the train station like I was part of some stupid hazing ritual. I’ll give you three guesses on who had the stones and authority to manage that.
Mayor Hopps? Ding, ding, ding!
The stationmaster had complained to the mayor about the damage to the sign, and the litter scattered about the tracks. With no one on paw to fix things, the mayor must have thought it a fitting punishment to force his new sheriff into the role. A small penalty for taking in his daughter. Not as bad as it could be. But embarrassing, all the same. I borrowed an old GPS unit from Hank and set to work.
The train station saw little activity when I arrived.
There wasn’t another train due for a while and, without the trains, there was no need for anyone to be there outside of the station workers, sweeping the platforms and keeping the place tidy. All except around the population sign, of course.
The ticking sound of the counter brought redness to my ears. During my brief stay at the office that morning, I had inquired on how the mayor expected two cops to manage a town of eighty million rabbits all on their own. Hank gave me a sideways glance before laughing in my face.
“Aw, Nick,” he said. “That thing’s been broken for an odd six years or so. There’s not eighty million rabbits in Bunnyburrow. It’s more like eighty thousand. And twenty thousand other mammals.”
One hundred thousand in total. Still high, but more manageable.
“We’re supposed to oversee a town that size all on our own?” I asked. “Just the two of us?”
“Don’t fret. The state troopers’ office is just a hop and a skip down the highway and they take calls first. We handle the small stuff around town. Think of it like those old western movies. Just the sheriff and his deputy.”
I suppose that was one way to look at it. More a token force than an actual role.
That didn’t change how much I dreaded facing the sign again with its misleading headcount meant to intimidate guests. In the afternoon light, I could still see the dark message etched into the billboard. Punks of Podunk, indeed.
It was starting to make sense to me on a deeper, primal level. Around the grass were cigarette butts and beer cans. I might have been able to hold Judy at the station last night if we had given her a breathalyzer, but I didn’t think to. I wasn’t even sure if we had one, given our lack of equipment. All my supplies had been bought from the gas station on my own dime.
With plastic gloves, a cheap bucket, a bag for trash, an old towel for scrubbing, and paint remover in paw, I set to work.
I could smell Judy’s cigarette before I saw her coming down the tracks.
In the hour I spent cleaning, it was hard not to notice any subtle change in the air. Be it the trains rolling by every fifteen minutes or the occasional yahoo revving up their engine down a dirt road in the distance. The train station was its own ecosystem in the dull sticks.
With her limp, Judy had trouble keeping balance on the iron rails. She was a master at making even her stumbles look intentional. But I could tell she was lingering around near where I was working to try and get my attention. It was in the way she hummed just loudly enough so I could hear her.
I should have kept my mouth shut. But I just had to try and be clever.
“You know, you’re underaged for smoking. Whoever sold you those could get into a lot of trouble.”
She pretended to just notice me, licking the butt around her buck teeth in thought.
“If it isn’t the fox cop? Looks like they’ve demoted you to janitor.”
“Someone’s gotta clean up your messes. Shouldn’t you be in school, little girl?”
Nothing like using a little nugget of information gained from her background check to provide a seething back-pawed comment. I correctly guessed that Judy’s expulsion from school was a touchy subject by how she winced. Perhaps she was used to dealing with cops who didn’t use their mouths as much as I did. Now that she had approached me on her own terms, I was the perfect candidate for ripping the smug bunny a new one.
“It’s June, dumb fox. School’s out in June.”
I sensed her fib. It was a little too early in June for school to let out just yet.
“Uh, huh.”
The temptation was there to turn around and savor the annoyed expression on Judy’s face. But I resisted, knowing that would forfeit the clear win I had over her. Besides, knowing punks like Judy, she wouldn’t be happy with me having the last word.
“I wonder how someone as clueless as you ever got to be a cop.”
Bingo. And an attack on my ego, no less.
It took a little self control to not fire back my own colorful commentary. She was a kid and I’d go a little easier on her, even though I felt a lot of the hate in her words. Getting angry would just give her words power. Best way to beat someone? Make their words a joke.
“Helps to have friends in the police force, Carrots.”
“You have friends?”
“Surprising, I know. There’s plenty of good folks I’m friends with willing to give a fox a helping paw in the city. Sure, most don’t like my mouth too much. But I know if I was out late, spray painting train signs, my friends would never abandon me to a snooping police officer. Especially if they knew I had a bad leg for running.”
A bit more savage than I intended, but it was one detail that stuck out to me in Judy’s profile. Kids like her tended to be loners, too violent or too nasty to make friends. By the brief hurt in her eyes, I could tell that I struck a vein.
“I have friends,” she said before quickly backtracking to not sound so offended. “And I happen to have a boyfriend too.”
“Do you? Well, good for you. I’m sure he’s a real keeper too. A real articulate fellow, just like you.”
She scowled at me. “You know, one day Andrew and I are going to move to Zootopia. And you’re going to be stuck here, in a dead end job in the middle of nowhere, as a stupid sheriff wearing a stupid hat, all day.”
If she was devolving to those kinds of insults, I had basically won our verbal sparring match. Well done, Nick. You beat a seventeen year old. Don’t you feel proud of yourself?
“That’s nice,” I replied. “Want to join me in cleaning then? Maybe we can practice your rhetoric while we work. I can teach you to sing proper insults for our next match.”
“I’ll pass, dumb fox.”
“Suit yourself, sly bunny. Just make sure I’m looking the other way when you spit out that cigarette butt.”
She didn’t and spat it out right at my feet as I smiled. She saved me from having to put out a potential fire if she had dropped it in the grass. I stomped out the embers before tossing it in my trash bag.
Judy was long gone by the time I looked up, limping down the tracks in the direction of the city.
I gave her back a small glance of concern before calling out to her. “And off the train tracks, please.”
She responded with a raised middle finger before hopping to the ground and continuing on her way. Like I had insulted her intelligence, or something.
With Judy gone, there was a silence in the air.
Despite her best attempts to distract me, the sign was mostly cleaned. Though some of the black paint was never going to go away, those kinds of stains rarely faded. But maybe, given enough time in the sun, they’d vanish eventually. As I gathered my tools to head back to the station for lunch, to my surprise, my phone buzzed with a text message.
I had almost forgotten about Jack and his quest to learn more about Judy. He messaged me like I had been hanging on his every word since our last text.
[Dude, you’re not going to believe this.]
I rolled my eyes as I approached the cruiser.
[What? Is she secretly some sleeper spec ops bunny agent?]
[Nick, I’m serious here.]
I paused before entering the vehicle.
Serious and Jack rarely went together unless the topic demanded full attention. I had been told that when he took on a case, it was like he was a completely different mammal. Pupils slit and all glares. Something must have grabbed his interest to warrant him to stop joking.
[Alright,] I typed. [What did you find?]
[Junior police applications. Twelve of them.]
I practically dropped my phone. [Are we talking about the same rabbit?]
ZPD held a program for younger mammals eager to try their luck in becoming police officers.
In many ways, it was very similar to applying for the academy. You had to compete in physical training exercises with the final test being a go-around on the real academy obstacle course to graduate. Though the challenges were nowhere near as tough or rigorous as the real academy, they were taxing for twelve to sixteen year olds. Passing meant you had more consideration when you were old enough to really try for the academy.
[That’s what the names say. Judith Laverne Hopps. Has her home address and everything.]
To say I was at a loss for words would be an understatement. Judy seemed more the type to be against police officers. Never could I imagine her wanting to join the force. And given her age, it wasn’t that long ago. I had never heard of anyone trying to pass junior academy twelve times.
[And they all failed?] I asked.
[Yeah. She couldn’t meet the final physical requirements in running the obstacle course. But her mental scores were perfect.]
I lingered on my buttons. [I just...Wow. You would never know that by looking at the kid. I swear.]
[No, I believe you, Nick. We got her records here in the city. I’ve been spending all day digging where I could. I found some other stuff too.]
I waited for Jack a good five minutes. Just when I was about to start the car, a notification alerted me to a picture he had sent.
The image quality was rubbish. But it was clear enough to see Jack holding an old piece of paper out. I squinted to see that the writing was done in crayon. And by a little girl, if the heart-dotted i’s were of any clue.
[Dunno if you can read all that,] said Jack. [But it’s signed by Junior Officer Judy Hopps. It was dated for when she was nine.]
[Where the heck did you get that?]
[Archives from the previous police chief. Your rabbit sent it in eight years ago and the old chief thought it was cute enough to hold onto.]
Eight years ago...
When I was eighteen, I didn’t even know what I wanted to be doing with my life. I figured I would just be a busker, roaming the streets and playing for money. Jack was the one who had eventually talked me into becoming a police officer. Said it would do mom proud and make me stop being a burden to her. Even then, I knew the bitter tang of failure more than once before I tried for the academy.
But to try and fail twelve times.
I don’t care how optimistic you are. At that point, you’re going to turn bitter and angry at the world. Coupled with some unstable hormones of a teenager and suddenly Judy’s attitude problem was making a whole lot more sense to me.
There wasn’t mentioning the bias against a rabbit joining the police force. Jack had seen plenty of that when he tried and eventually joined ZPD. He mentioned, begrudgingly, that they had him doing parking duty for a full month before he proved himself by incapacitating a rhino robbing a nearby bank.
I sat back in the driver's seat, suddenly feeling like a complete jerk for mouthing off to Judy just a few moments ago. It was Jack who put it into words though.
[I feel for her, man. You know? To be told you can’t be something and just fail at it, over and over.]
I started the engine before giving Jack one last reply.
[Yeah. I think I owe her an apology next time I see her.]
Chapter 4: Track 04: “The Dirt Whispered”
Chapter Text
“Sorry for not calling you sooner, mom.”
“It’s okay, sweetie. I know you’ve been busy your first week on the job.”
Busy was stretching the truth a bit.
With nothing going on around the station, I had spent most of my working hours on traffic duty. While it was an important job to fulfill quotas, admittedly nothing happened on Bunnyburrow streets that warranted full-day patrols. Most drivers were either riding tractors or old folks that went twenty miles under the speed limit. In truth, I was simply out on the streets looking for Judy.
That rabbit could make herself scarce when she wanted to.
I was pulled over on the main street of the burrow, next to the quaint town square. The statue of some bunny army major pompously looked over the lunch rush as mammals herded between the shops searching for food.
I, myself, had a cheap takeout tub of some greasy vegetable lo mein, which I snuck in a few bites whenever I wasn’t talking to mom on speaker. The stuff was the worst, but I was hardly the health conscious type.
“So,” I said, slurping down the noodles. “How’s the empty den?”
“Not so empty with Jack coming to visit me every day.”
“Right, your second son.”
“Only when you’re not around.”
It was by Jack’s demands that I finally make the time to call mom. Yes, demands. The little pest had been badgering me about it all week. He was, by every definition, the kiss-up older brother I never had. Not until that incident with the scouts anyway.
“He mentioned you were having some trouble with the local mayor…”
“Mom…”
“I know, I know. I won’t meddle in your affairs. You’re old enough to make your own decisions. And I doubt those rabbits will respect your authority much if your mother has to come down and give them a stern talking to.”
“I might actually pay to see you try that on the mayor.”
“So, he is giving you a hard time then?”
“Well…”
In a word, yes.
The only jobs Hank and I had been assigned in the last week were trivial tasks given to us by Mayor Hopps. It was busy work, plain and simple. Something to give the police force of the podunk town a token amount of chores to justify our meager existence in such a quiet neighborhood. To that end, it made sense to earn a paycheck.
Of course, when you’re in the mayor’s bad books, that token job becomes oppressive paperwork. There’s only so many times you can fill out statements from the town crazies claiming they’ve spotted a UFO or the elusive Hairless Mammal before you started to believe their claims. On the bright side, I could easily manage a few reports while out and about on the town. Downside? There was just no end to the statements. It was starting to wear on me.
I decided to summarize the story. “We had a disagreement after I, uh, ended up catching his daughter vandalizing a sign.”
“And now he’s giving you a hard time for that? Good to see that Zootopia isn’t the only place with corruption amongst its politicians.”
“Yep. Normally I don’t approve of politician jokes, too many of them get elected.”
“So, was she cute?”
I rolled my eyes. “She’s seventeen, mom. Definitely still a kid too.”
“Give her a few years and that won’t matter.”
“And she’s a rabbit. Hard to give you the grandkits I know you’re hankering for.”
“You can’t blame me for trying. You’re twenty-six already. Pretty soon you’ll be over the hill and I’ll be rotting away in a retirement home. Alone.”
“Hah. Maybe then I’ll get some peace and quiet.”
“You’re not even going to visit your dear old mother?”
“I dunno. You’ll have to bribe me with cookies to convince me.”
“As soon as you start dating someone, then you can have all the cookies you want. How long has it been since you’ve tried seeing someone, Nicolas? Since high school, at least.”
“So? Lots of folks my age have trouble meeting mammals. It’s not like the good old days where you could meet someone on the streets. Love at first sight is a myth. Nowadays you gotta go to parties. Hit up the clubs. Gotta work for it.”
“And why don’t you do those things?”
“One, I don’t think Bunnyburrow has much in the way of anything outside of hoedowns and hootenannys. Two, if they did, I don’t think I would be invited on account of being the sheriff. There tends to be illegal activities in these sort of things. Three, I haven’t been much for parties since prom. You know that.”
“Why did you have to pick the profession with a near zero percentage of you meeting someone?”
I laughed and rubbed my neck. “Hey now. That’s not what you told me a few weeks ago when I finally graduated.”
“I know. And I am proud of you. Both you and Jack.”
“Thanks, mom.”
The call was starting to make me miss home as it wound down. Though I had been putting it off, it was good to hear mom’s voice.
At forty two, mom was hardly what mammals expected. She looked so good for her age that sometimes she got mistaken for my sister. Despite that, she was the primary reason why I was more eager to find work closer to home. Keeping jobs in the city was hard when you were a single mom, let alone a fox. And I wanted to be there to support her however I could.
Our conversation didn’t continue on much longer than that. Just the usual gossip around the city. Small talk to keep mom amused and to let her know I cared. By the time I finished my lunch, we were winding down with the “I love you’s” and “call you soon’s.”
As soon as I hung up the phone, I sent Jack a quick message.
[There. Happy now?]
[:P]
The call with mom and Jack’s texts were a pleasant distraction in the mundane routine I was becoming accustomed to. Wake up at 8 AM. Eat whatever fatty leftovers the mysterious G left in the fridge. Get to work at 9 AM. Putt around the station and find ways to keep myself busy until 6 PM. Get home and clean the apartment for my share of the chores. Then practice guitar until bed. Repeat.
I was making progress too. There were significantly less cardboard boxes lying around and I could actually start to see the furniture. And my guitar playing was much improved. Though not everything had been successful.
[Any luck finding your bunny?] Asked Jack.
[I’ve been keeping my eyes peeled. Nothing so far. Why do you care so much?]
[Call it kinship, I guess. You remember how hard my first month here was, right?]
[Of course. You complained about Bogo every single day to me.]
[I think I’d like to talk to her. I dunno. Let her know that there’s still hope, even in a world of larger mammals.]
[She’d probably tell you to shove it. Just saying.]
[Yeah. We’ve both been teenagers before too, full of angst and hormones. Thinking we know everything, but unable to do anything about it.]
[You’re saying we know everything now as adults?]
[Well, some of us do.]
[Definitely not me. Sometimes I still put my underwear on backwards first thing in the morning.]
[Bunnyburrow’s finest. Just remember, those folks rely on you, Nick. You’re a cop now. You need to play the part.]
I grunted to myself. It wasn’t like I hated all the responsibility but now that the dust had settled and I was getting more comfortable with my new environment, the deep-seeded fear of messing things up was starting to set in.
Jack was right, in a sense.
I was an adult now. It was sobering to think that just a couple of years ago, I had been aimlessly performing on the streets trying to earn some extra cash. Jack was the one who put some stability in my life and encouraged me to join the academy. He said I was good at being a cop. Saw something in me. But even when I had passed the graduation, I still didn’t fully understand what he meant.
I settled for small comforts with the new career. It was a direction for me to go in and a stable job to work for. Maybe it was the fact that my best friend was doing it and I didn’t want to be left behind. Maybe it was to make mom proud of me and provide for her as she got older. Or maybe it was just a distraction from being a fox. I didn’t know. In the past two years of hard work, I never gave it much thought.
Now that I was there and settled, I faced some serious self-reflection.
I was never a bad kit. I never hustled or stole anything. I was smart enough to keep away from that lifestyle. But I saw what happened to kids who did fall into that trap. We foxes were victims of circumstance, most living on the streets and looked down on.
Maybe that was why I shared in Jack’s concern with Judy. I knew what his texts really meant.
[Don’t worry, Jack. I’m keeping a close eye out for her. I won’t let you down.]
[I know you won’t. You’re going to be a good cop, Nick. You just need to believe in that and push yourself.]
[Well, I’m off to a rough start.]
I do believe that sometimes the universe has strange coincidences that tie us all together in curious ways. The second I put down my phone and looked up out the car window, I spied Judy. And by the panicked look in her eyes, she saw me too. Though she was across the street, I could see the large brown bag in her paws as she tried to turn away and hide it from me.
There was surprisingly little street traffic despite the lunch hour. Most mammals were probably on their way back to work, but there was enough presence there that you could make a scene. That only made Judy that much more obvious and I had a hunch what was inside the bag too.
I rose from my seat and stepped outside to catch up with her. Given her package and limp, she couldn’t get far.
“Brown bagging it there, Carrots?”
She responded by trying to hide the bag under her hoodie. I heard bottles clank together.
“Come on now,” I said. “Teen pregnancy is running rampant, sure. But no one goes into third trimester that quickly.”
She groaned and revealed the contents of the bag.
As I expected, it was filled with bottles of beer and alcohol. Cheap stuff. The kind of brands that only a novice drinker would pick out because they’re popular and they don’t know any better. Or popular with young teens, at least.
What was more, there appeared to be around thirty in the bag.
“You’re not going to drink all those yourself, are you?”
“You don’t think I can?” She asked, finding her courage again and challenging me in defiance. She looked prepared to start a fight.
I sighed. Me and my big smarmy mouth had already put her on the defensive.
I had wanted to apologize to her for my earlier comments on the train tracks, only for her to turn around and do something like this. And to cause a scene in public would probably only soil both our reputations. Not to mention the problems it would cause with her father.
“Look,” I whispered. “Let’s take this conversation to the car, okay? You’re not in trouble, I promise.”
Though she let out another stereotypical groan, she followed me back to the cruiser. Perhaps she was in no hurry to make a fuss any more than I was. That didn’t stop me from locking the doors as soon as we sat down. I cleared out the litter from my lunch off her seat, presentation was key, after all.
“So, what’s with the beer?” I had a hunch already but wanted to hear it from her.
She answered with a glare.
“Alright...Can I take a guess then? Given that it’s your birthday in a few days, I’d wager that this is for whatever party you have planned with your friends.”
The slight twitch in her nose gave it all away.
“The drinking age is eighteen here. Same as it is in the city. But that’s a lot of young drinkers in one place, going off how many beers you have stored away there. Very dangerous, if left alone.”
It was like talking to a brick wall. I saw in Judy’s eyes that this was just another lecture to her about poor life decisions that she had probably heard a million times before. And I was another adult who didn’t understand her.
I wanted to be friends. Or, at least, I wanted to get on speaking terms with her so she wouldn’t hold me in complete contempt. Her eyes were so full of hate. So full of pain. And so very familiar.
My mouth was failing me, so I let my heart take over the conversation.
“Look, I’m sorry for the other day. I said some pretty hurtful things to you and you didn’t deserve to hear them.”
As would be expected, Judy huffed at my apology.
“You’re just trying to kiss up so I don’t tell dad on you.”
“That’s far more conniving than I could ever want to be,” I replied, offended. “I’m not the kind of mammal who makes friends with someone just so it benefits me later on.”
“Then what do you call all your friends in the police department you were bragging about earlier?”
“Friend. Singular. And an old one whom I owe a great debt to. He pushed me into becoming an officer, in fact.”
“Whatever. It’s still just the same. You probably didn’t even really work for it. I bet it came real easy to you.”
“If you think that you've probably never been in the city before.”
“And you probably don’t even really care about this town,” she continued as if not hearing me. “I’ve seen your type before. You think it’s boring here, right? Well, try living it. Try growing up in a place where they tell you that you’re only ever going to amount to one thing: a carrot farmer. Then you can sit there and judge me.”
“Is that why you want to get out of the burrows with your boyfriend?”
She glared at me. I shrugged in the attempt to cool her off.
“Just asking. The city isn’t the sunshine and rainbows you’re probably expecting it to be. Not that I’m cynical, but there are still plenty of problems there too we’re trying to work on.”
“Well, whatever it is, it’s better than here.”
To that, we could both agree, not that I was going to tell Judy that. I decided to change the subject.
“What do you mean you’ve seen my type before?”
“The other sheriffs. You're not the first. Two of them, a polar bear and a camel, were just sticking around until better offices opened up for them. You’re the same, aren’t you?”
For once, I didn’t have a snappy retort for her. Judy huffed again and turned away from me.
“Why don’t you just go back to where you came from, fox? I wouldn’t be surprised if you really didn’t care about being a cop either.”
Jack had been right. Judy was pretty sharp when it came to her deduction skills.
“Look, are we done here?” Judy asked me after I had given her a minute of silence.
“Not yet,” the police officer in me took over again. “You’re having a party with a bunch of minors and alcohol passing around freely.”
“What are you going to do? Arrest me? Good luck with that. I’m not doing anything illegal by holding a party. And I'll be eighteen for drinks by then.”
“Oh, I’m not going to arrest you. You’re right. It’s perfectly within your rights to have a party on your own property. But given your choice of beverage, I doubt you plan on having any adult supervision.”
“What? You want an invitation?”
“I just want to make sure you kids aren’t misbehaving. No drinking, no drugs, no destruction of property or public urination. Sometimes those both happen at the same time. Just tell me the place and the date. I promise I won’t get in the way. But it’s my duty as a police officer to keep an eye on potential public disturbances.”
“And if I refuse?”
“That depends. Do your parents know about your party plans?”
Her nose twitched again. I folded my arms and leaned back into my seat.
“Either option works for me, Carrots. Someone’s gotta be there though. Is it going to be me or your folks?”
She glared at me with her arms crossed. At that age, I knew how “uncool” it was to have your parents hawking over your shoulder, cramping your style. As long as they were being safe, I didn’t care. I knew from experience that parties with drunk minors were where bad decisions were made.
Judy ripped open the lock on the door.
“It’s at 7 PM on Sunday, in the north field of our farm.”
I smirked. “Thanks. See you there.”
She grumbled something colorful and rose to leave. I stopped her before she did.
“Leave the bag of booze here, please. Thank you.”
Another thing in what was sure to be a long list of confiscated items from Judy. I was going to have to run the receipts on where she had gotten the liquor, but I had a feeling the drinks would see their use with Hank.
I continued to watch a very bitter Judy limp across the street and pop out a cigarette. A bad habit, one that she might regret later in life.
Well, mom. Looks like I get to go to a party after all. Just like you wanted. Nothing like spending your night off babysitting a bunch of punks.
Chapter Text
To no surprise, Mayor Hopps never stopped giving me trouble all week. Even during his first unannounced visit of the station.
He was smaller than I expected him to be, given his booming voice over the phone. Though he carried himself with a level of arrogance that I found unprecedented in any mammal save for the ones with an ego trip. Most annoying of all was the forced smile beneath his ten gallon hat. But I tried to remain pleasant as we shook paws.
“Mayor Hopps. To what do we owe the pleasure?”
“To meet you, of course, Sheriff Wilde. We’ve only spoken once over the phone, and I wanted to get a good look at you for myself.”
That conversation was almost two weeks ago and even still, I was feeling the consequences of it. And I had done my best to give Judy her space since I had caught her with the alcohol a few days prior.
So, what really sparked the visit from the mayor?
I had a feeling I wouldn’t like the answer as he paced around the station. Hank was standing by like a waiter at a restaurant, it was the most I had seen the deputy on his feet all week. I was trying my best to act aloof and leaned up against my desk. My paws were behind my back, so they couldn’t see me fiddle with them out of nerves.
“So,” the mayor said, at last. “Busy week?”
“There are certainly a few colorful characters in the burrows with vivid imaginations.”
He laughed. “Yes, Terry is a bit of the local nut. You’ll have to forgive him. And how about everything else? Any trouble on the streets?”
“Not sure I follow you, sir.”
The mayor paused in his pacing, as if my words had offended him. He frowned and stared straight at me for the first time.
“Do you know how many years I’ve been mayor, Officer Wilde?”
“A long time, I’d wager?”
“No, not very long at all. Relatively speaking, of course. Bunnyburrow was founded over a hundred years ago by a rather stern military major. Since then, we’ve had twelve different mayors. Some good. Some bad. But I’m the thirteenth and I’ve held the office for the past five years.”
“Well, lucky number thirteen for you, then.”
“In a word,” he said with a scowl. “I represent a very small portion of our town’s history, Officer Wilde. But I aim to maintain the traditions set in place by my proud ancestors. Top on the list: Always protect your own.”
This is where he was supposed to ask like in the movies, “so, are you with me or against me?” I was trying to be on my best behavior, but the pompous rabbit was making that extremely difficult. He studied my face, as if there was anything to read from me. I learned my best poker face by playing with hustlers on the street when I busked.
“The other day, I heard from a reliable source that my daughter Judy was approached by you in the town square.”
“And where did you hear that?”
“I have ears all over the burrow, Officer Wilde. Even if Judy denies it, that doesn’t change what I’ve heard.”
That certainly surprised me. I figured Judy would jump at the chance of getting me into more trouble. It was a relief to hear that she was giving me some wiggle room when it came to antagonizing her father. I’d have to return the favor.
“I was simply asking her for directions, sir. Still have trouble finding my way around the burrow and I was needing some lunch. She gave a good recommendation. A lovely noodle shop. You know the place?”
“Hank told me that he gave you a GPS device. Isn’t that enough to navigate the town?”
I glared at my deputy. “He did...But it’s hardly like speaking to a real mammal, is it?”
There was a peculiar look on the mayor’s face. It felt like he was weighing me with his eyes, studying each and every inch of me, expecting I would leap out and attack him at any moment. He wasn’t wearing fear though. I couldn’t smell it on him. It was more caution and distrust. In many ways, that was a hundred times worse. At least fear would give you space and respect.
“Very well. So long as you remember what I told you over the phone, we won’t have any problems.”
It seemed like he had said his piece by how he puffed up his chest and prepared to leave.
“Listen, both of you. I’m going to be out of town tomorrow for an important meeting in the city regarding trade. While I’m gone, I expect nothing to happen. You understand?”
So that was why Judy was having her party on Sunday as opposed to her actual birthday.
“Yes, sir.”
“It was a pleasure to meet you, Officer Wilde. I do hope you enjoy your stay in Bunnyburrow.”
I wasn’t aware there even was a way to passive-aggressively close a door on someone. But as the mayor stepped out of the station, into the Saturday evening, I could breathe a little bit easier. Across the room, Hank also eased up a bit. But I still had a bone to pick with him and he sensed my glare.
“What?” he asked. “I know what side my bread is buttered.”
“No comradery or anything, deputy?”
“Look, when the mayor starts asking you questions, you give him the answers he wants to hear. What were you doing with his kid again, anyway? I figured you’d want to steer clear of Judy.”
“She had a bag of beer that she was bringing to her birthday party. What was I supposed to do?”
“So, that’s where all that liquor in the fridge came from…”
“What? You thought I bought that in just for you to enjoy on your lunch?”
“Hey, a little bribery never hurt nobody. Anyway, that’s besides the point. If you know what’s best for you, you’ll stay away from the Hopps. Judy in particular, the mayor is very protective of her.”
“Please, if anyone’s going to hurt her it’s going to be herself.”
“Be that as it may...Look, Nick. You weren’t here five years ago when she hospitalized that poor kid. But it was a messy, messy affair. It was in the middle of the town square and everything. She just went savage on him and knocked him out.”
“I was looking at her record, yeah. Wasn’t it a fox she beat up?”
“Beat up implies that it was just schoolyard bullying. She bit half his ear off, Nick. The sheriff almost had her committed to an asylum. The other predators of the burrow were calling for her arrest. You never saw the town in such a mess over one scandal.”
He sighed and went for the warm beer left at his desk.
“Stu changed a lot from the incident too. He wasn’t always such a stern fellow. Used to be a lot happier, before he started truly worrying about his kids near predators. And then when Judy went on her rampage, he buckled down.”
“What? You’re saying he became the mayor just so he could protect his daughter?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying, yes.”
I folded my arms, unsure if I should be surprised or not. The venom in the mayor’s words were clear enough that he had some gripe with foxes or predators in general. Given the outcome with Judy’s record, I could only guess how all that colorful history went down.
“And folks just let him get away with it?” I asked.
“What’s there to get away with? He’s not an oppressive dictator, Nick. He’s been a fair mayor. Just very family oriented.”
“With a penchant against foxes.”
“Well, that just comes from his history with them, unfortunately. It’s nothing personal, Nick. He was the one who opted to accept you as the town sheriff, after all. Maybe he was trying to make peace with foxes.”
“That or use me as a political statement to offset his bias.”
My thoughts turned to the dirty politics of Zootopia. Suddenly, my acceptance as the burrow’s sheriff, despite my low grades, was starting to make more sense. Jack would probably be livid if I told him about this.
“If the mayor was stopping by here to give you a warning, I’d keep away from Judy,” continued Hank. “It’s for your own good.”
“That kid’s on the road to self-destruction, Hank. Even if the mayor is too stubborn to see it. You want me to just sit by and let it happen?”
“Why are you here, Nick? Remember what you told me when you first arrived? Why did you take the job as sheriff?”
I gave a defeated sigh. My first week had felt like a century ago. But I could remember my words to Hank clear as day.
“...To get a job in the city.”
“If you still want to do that, you know you gotta play the kiss-up game with the mayor. Leave Judy alone. It’s only going to end badly for you, alright?”
I felt filthy all of a sudden, like I needed to take an hour long shower.
I left the station without giving Hank an answer. It wouldn’t be wise to tell him that I would be attending Judy’s eighteenth birthday party the following night.
Notes:
Apologies for a shorter chapter than the others, this is the second shortest in the story and they get a little longer once we hit the double digits. But it's pretty important just the same to raise the stakes of the party and formally introduce the antagonist for Nick in the story. I hope everyone is still staying safe out there!
Chapter 6: Track 06: “The Party Song”
Notes:
Apologies for the little bit of melodrama, but it is a teen party after all. I hope you can enjoy the party more than Nick does, all the same!
Chapter Text
[What are kids like at parties these days?]
[Oh, come on, Nick. You’re not that old yet.]
[I haven’t been to a party since high school. Remember prom?]
[I remember you trying and failing to ask out that one vixen. What was her name again?]
[If you can’t remember, I’m not going to tell you.]
Embarrassing memories aside, Jack was doing very little to calm my nerves as I waited parked outside the Hopps farmlands.
It was a quiet Sunday night, save for the low murmur of rock music playing on the air. I had parked the cruiser off on the side of the dirt road closest to the farm. I was subtle in borrowing the vehicle from the station to avoid raising alarms from Hank. Didn’t want the deputy telling the mayor on my plans for the evening.
So, there I was sitting in my blues and on my cellphone, acting like the kit too scared to dance.
A few kids crossed the road in front of me, not even noticing my car lurking in the shadows of the corn stalks. It wasn’t that hard to find the Hopps property line, given that it took up a fair portion of the southern farm fields. Hank had neglected to tell me that the Hopps owned a generous amount of land, even though it saw a lot of disuse. I suppose Hank’s warning to me the other night was starting to wear on my nerves. There were certainly enough ears and eyes at the party to let the mayor know I had been there.
Technically I didn’t have to go into the party, right? I just needed to be in the area and keep my ears out for trouble. No one would have to see me there and I’d be fulfilling my role as a police officer.
But Jack called me out.
[Nick, come on. Do your dang duty. Quit talking to me and get out there.]
I grunted, throwing the phone into my pocket. One look, couldn’t hurt. Right? Just an hour. No one was going to notice. I could keep in the back, out of sight and out of mind. Just needed to make sure that they weren’t getting into any drinks or rough-housing. Somehow, my feet moved on their own and carried me through the cornfield, giving me a real Kits of the Korn vibes.
I followed the beat of the music like a blind mammal. I didn’t so much as hear the sounds of the party more than than I felt them. Someone had set up the open field with several speakers placed strategically so that the bass would resonate into the gathering at the very center. A stage had been set up there, where a handful of predator animals were standing with instruments in their paws. They were the source of the sounds rocking my very core.
As a former busker, I couldn’t call what they were doing music in good conscious. So, we’re just going to call it noise. Very loud, very off key, noise.
I stood dumbfounded in the stalks for a moment, soaking in the tragedy to music I was witnessing before looking around. No one seemed to be giving the band much attention. Everyone had a red cup or a can in their paws and they were forming groups around the stage, laughing and talking. There were about fifty of them, all kids under twenty. All prey.
I don’t care what Jack said. I felt old just looking at them.
A few gave me an odd glance but then kept their heads down, seeing my uniform. They didn’t hide the contents of their drinks from me, however. Not what I would expect if they were drinking beer underage.
“You continue to impress, huh?” I muttered to myself.
Satisfied, I continued to lurk around the edge of the field, trying to keep from the center of attention but failing miserably. You could see a visible wave in the crowd whenever I passed by. Eventually, I just stopped and kept to the shadows entirely. There was an odd sense of contentment in watching a group of prey from the brush. Perhaps a deep-seated hunting instinct that I shrugged off.
Before I could pass on by, my ears perked up at a particular loud-mouthed rabbit girl.
“Isn’t this party, like, the lamest ever? I mean come on. She couldn’t even get drinks.”
“I know. It’s no wonder she doesn’t have any friends, right?”
“What does Andrew even see in her?”
“It’s just cause her daddy is the mayor. But I don’t think it will last. He likes to drink and I hear they’ve been fighting.”
“That’s just because she almost got them in trouble for painting up the sign.”
“Well, yeah. If she’s stupid enough to do it on a dare. Like she thinks that’ll impress him.”
“Is that why you told her to do it, Jessica?”
“She almost got arrested, didn’t you hear? So close to getting rid of her. But don’t worry. There are other ways to leave a bad impression...”
I couldn’t get a good look at who was talking or who the rabbit named Jessica was. But she was starting to make me feel sick to my stomach. I remembered why I had blocked most of my high school memories. Nothing but kids badmouthing other kids. Suddenly, my comment about Judy’s friends abandoning her the first night we met had more teeth than I thought it did. I excused myself before the rabbits noticed me eavesdropping.
Trailing around for a bit, I continued to survey the party for any signs of the birthday girl. Punk or not, she was at least an honest sight in comparison to the rest of the kids her age. I found her hanging near a table with the drinks, around the arm of some buck.
Pretentious was the first word that came to mind when I saw Judy’s boyfriend. The big rimmed glasses were the first giveaway. He had fur extensions on the top of his head dyed black. Most of all was his clown outfit, a complete mismatch ensemble of clothes I had seen from fashion shops in the mall.
Judy noticed my stares and scowled, prompting her boyfriend to look in my direction. Trapped by her glance, I couldn’t just disappear without looking stupid. So, I stepped into the light.
“No one’s drinking,” Judy said in an immediate defense. “It’s all soda and juice.”
“I noticed. And I’m impressed. Well done.”
Then it got awkward, especially with Judy’s boyfriend giving me an empty look akin to a glass doll. I cleared my throat and offered him a paw.
“Sheriff Wilde.”
He turned to Judy. “You brought the sheriff here?”
“Just checking some concerns about noise,” I spoke up to save Judy some face. “I’ll be on my way soon enough. Just keep it down a bit, okay?”
“If it’s too loud, you’re too old, man.”
I felt my mouth start to move on it's own again. “It’s only too loud for me if it’s just noise. This is what qualifies for music in the burrow?”
There are a few things you never questioned about another mammal’s personal tastes unless you wanted to get into an argument: religion, political stances, sexual preferences, and taste in music. This was especially true with mammals who had no filter on their mouths or kids too young to know any better.
“You just don’t get it,” said the testosterone-filled rabbit. “It’s super deep and emotional stuff.”
I looked to Judy, who probably didn’t want to get involved with such a trivial argument. If I kept pressing her boyfriend though, she’d have to take his side.
I shrugged it off. “Maybe it is my age then. I know I’d just prefer a good old fashioned guitar solo on an acoustic. Less tiger with its tail in a door and more music.”
Judy huffed a laugh, earning herself a glare from the boyfriend. I could see the writing on the wall, if I stuck around I was probably going to cause a fight. And I was fast growing tired of shouting over the noise.
“Alright. I’m just going to walk around a bit and then get going. You two have fun.”
I trotted as far away from the couple as I could, trying to keep to the corner of the party so the music wouldn’t destroy my hearing as much as it already had. I leaned against a fence post and turned to the only comfort I could think of at the scene, digging my phone out of my pocket.
[I hate parties.]
[What? Done already?] asked Jack.
[It’s just so bad. You have no idea. We’re completely out of sync with what’s hip.]
[Speak for yourself. Mingling not going well?]
[Nah. Judy held her end of the bargain with the lack of drinks. Ticked off a few of her friends though, if you can call them that.]
[Not a popular girl then?]
[Is that really any surprise?]
[No, I guess not. Fits with the narrative you’ve been painting for her. She’s the loner type who pushes mammals away.]
[Met her boyfriend too. What a tool.]
[Jealous, are we?]
I rolled my eyes. [Not at all. I just don’t approve. You wouldn’t either. He’s the drunk hipster type. Can’t imagine what she sees in him.]
[Well, we were young and stupid too once. You in particular.]
There was a slight pause in our conversation as I took in the din of the party again while my head cooled. If I dug around enough in my memories, I could probably say that parties had never been my forte. I liked close and personal encounters, quiet and private. At a party, you had to fight for the attention. It was enough to lose yourself in the noise. Enough to keep you from thinking too hard.
My phone buzzed with a new message from Jack.
[Angelica!]
The sudden name merited a dread feeling in the pit of my gut. I tried to play dumb.
[Who?]
[The vixen you asked to prom! I just remembered her name. Angel. That albino fox that all you tods wanted to get with.]
I winced as I responded to Jack.
[I really don’t need to hear this now, man…]
[Sorry. I’m just seeing the similarities is all. She outed you in front of everyone.]
[I know. I was there.]
My only attempt at going to prom was one of those memories I kept locked up. Whenever it surfaced, I’d randomly pound at my head as punishment for making me replay the event. All the kids laughing at me for trying to get a date. It made me realize just how alone in school I really was.
[What’s the problem? Still feel for her?]
I gave the question some thought before responding.
[Definitely not. It was just a wake up call. It was the second time around that I realized what others thought of me.]
[Least it was better than the first incident. Least it was another fox. Showed you who your real friends were.]
[This turning into a therapy session, Jack?]
[Hey, sometimes we all need a shoulder to cry on.]
My ears perked up at the sound of raised voices over the crowd and the blaring music. I put my phone away and looked up at the middle of the dance floor.
Judy was going at it with another rabbit, a female that I recognized from earlier but couldn’t place a name to. Judy’s boyfriend was to the side, a flask in his paw. I could barely hear what the argument was about. A boy’s name was mentioned, along with a beer brand name. Judy’s name was spoken in a negative tone.
I sprung into action when the other girl started getting physical with Judy.
“Hey, hey!” I put on my authoritative voice. “Clear out!”
Everyone froze when they saw me. Perhaps they expected me to have left at that point. I was suddenly very thankful that I was a fox amongst rabbits and everyone gave me a wide berth as I came to Judy’s aid. She had been pushed into the mud of the ground and was about to hit the girl back if I hadn’t come between them. I offered my paw and pulled her to her feet.
“You alright?”
Judy nodded, glaring daggers at her boyfriend, who sat idly by with his arms crossed. I looked to the flask still in his paw.
“Hand it over,” I said, outstretching my paw to him so he could see my claws. “This is a warning. There’s to be no drinking at this party. Understood?”
“Yes, sir…”
“Keep it civil,” I continued to speak with an air of confidence that surprised even myself, though that didn’t last. “Don’t make me end this shindig right now.”
Jeez. Way to make yourself sound even older, Nick . But I was more preoccupied with Judy in the moment to care what a bunch of kids thought of me. She was covered in mud from the waist down. If I didn’t know her better, I’d expect her to be crying. But she was stern and resolute. Didn’t let them see they got to her until I had brought her a fair enough distance away from the party to help clean her off.
Her glare fell off like a mask into a pained expression, like someone who had been enduring a splitting headache.
After some time, I realized she was the one guiding me, not the other way around. We crossed through the fields towards a barn at the edge of the road. I became aware just how loud the party was when the noise began to fade in the distance. We were alone and there was no one around for several acres in every direction.
Judy’s shoulder escaped my grasp and she hopped over to the hose built into the side of the barn. I waited patiently as she sprayed at her jeans, keeping silent until I could hold back the smarm no longer.
“You’re welcome, by the way.”
“I didn’t need your help,” she snapped.
“Uh huh,” I replied as I unscrewed the cap of the flask I confiscated. The potent scent of vodka filled the air as I drained the contents on the ground. “Well, your boyfriend is a real keeper, I gotta say. High in spirits . A real Ernest Furringway.”
“It was your fault to begin with. He was mad because it was a party without beer. Everyone was.”
“Carrots, if they were your real friends, they wouldn’t let that stop them from having a good time. Maybe you should open your eyes a bit.”
I was practically asking to be sprayed with the hose.
Judy didn’t hold back, drenching my face with a mouthful of cold well water as I garbled an outraged cry. When she was done, we had a bitter standoff. She warned me with the hose that if I continued arguing, she’d go for my clothes next. And I was already dripping wet.
I let out a heavy sigh and shook myself dry while Judy finished with her feet.
“Look,” I said, more gently this time. “I’m genuinely curious. What do you see in a buck like him? It’s certainly not how he treats you. Doesn’t even stand up for his girlfriend in a fight.”
“He’s artistic. He’s smart.”
“He also has the personality of an out-of-order gas station bathroom. Come on, Carrots. You can do better than him.”
“He’s one of the only bucks who has plans to go to the city.”
Judy avoided eye contact with me and slumped against the wall of the barn. I frowned and joined her.
“You know, you could just as easily find work in Zootopia all by yourself. Nothing glamorous, but it’d be a living.”
“Employers aren’t in the habit of hiring rabbits with violent tendencies. There’s nothing I want to actually do in the city, anyway.”
“You want to escape?”
“I just don’t want to be here. And I’m not really good at anything. Not since...”
Her pause was enough to tell me everything, even if I didn’t already know about her attempts to become a police officer. I kept my knowledge of her junior police applications in the back of my mind and shared in Judy’s heavy sigh.
“Alright,” I said. “This is all none of my business, but I wouldn’t be doing my job without giving you some sort of warning. Bucks like that are really after only one thing when it comes to a doe, at your age.”
She sunk into her hoodie, perhaps trying not to admit she knew what I was saying was the truth. I could only speak from the experiences of foxes. But if rabbits were as active as I’ve heard they were in the bedroom scene, they wouldn’t be much different.
“Are you happy with him, at least?”
Judy looked up for a moment and then back down at her feet.
“I haven’t been happy in a long time.”
I didn’t know which was sadder. The words she said or that I believed them.
“It’s just the high school years,” I muttered. “Love sucks at your age because everyone’s still trying to figure out who they are. When you get to my age, mammals are more confident.”
“Why? How old are you? Forty?”
“I’m twenty six…”
“You sure don’t look like it with that grey in your fur.”
I was going to be combing over the mirror later that night, searching for any sign of grey fur. But I didn’t react to the comment to give her the satisfaction.
“While we’re on the subject of poking fun at my age,” I started. “Why don’t I tell you a little story of why all this party-stuff doesn’t matter? Hmm?”
Judy rolled her eyes but didn’t object to hearing what I had to say.
“I was about your age, a little younger, and the biggest thing on everyone’s mind at the time was prom.”
Judy scoffed. “I didn’t go to prom.”
“Neither did I. But if you’ll let me tell the story why, maybe you’ll learn something…”
I cleared my throat and dug up my most painful memory from high school. For some reason, comforting Judy with it made it come easy.
“Hard to imagine, but I wasn’t always a slick fox back then. Though I certainly thought I was sly. I was a bit of the class clown, making everyone laugh with my antics in school. I got by with my grades, in part thanks to some close friends. But I used to mingle with all the crowds, trying to win favors and be liked by everyone.”
“You sound like a tool,” commented Judy.
“That’s not far off from the truth, actually,” I admitted. “Anyway, I thought I had friends all around given that everyone knew who I was and laughed at my dumb jokes. So, prom time rolls around and that’s what everyone starts talking about. I’m sure you realize just how overblown its importance is.”
“Yeah…”
“But hindsight doesn’t change what happened. The point was, I had fallen to the hype of prom and wanted to make it the defining moment of high school for me. First step in that? Getting a date that would impress everyone. And there was only one vixen in school that came to mind.”
“Let me guess,” Judy smirked at me. “She turned you down?”
“No, actually. When I asked her out in private, she told me she’d think about it. That was a real bad sign from the start. But I was confident with an ego the size of Zootopia itself. I worked with the friends I had made to learn all about her, getting little details before I popped the question to her in private. Even when days went by without hearing a response, I was sure I could convince her to date a tod like me. So, I tried approaching her in a more public venue. At lunchtime on a Friday afternoon, I asked her again in front of everyone. I figured having our peers around would solicit a different response from her. And boy, was I right.”
I was back in the lunchroom again. The laughter all around me. The kits enjoying watching my ego deflate faster than a balloon.
“She didn’t so much as turn me down as she did roast me. Keep in mind, she was one of the popular kits with a much wealthier family than mine. I realized too late that, to her, I was just a grimey, creepy fox with a leering eye on her. And, with her friends around her to back her up, she could respond accordingly. That wasn’t the worst part though. All the mammals I had mingled with over my high school year joined in on the beratement. They had been bad mouthing me to her after I had asked them for help. None of them, not one, was really my friend in the end. Even though I had convinced myself that I was everyone’s buddy.”
I didn’t want to glance over to Judy and see her reaction. But by her breathing, I could tell she was listening. It’d be stupid to expect any sympathy for a dumb fox like me. Besides, I liked to think of it as an old wound that had since healed.
“Anyway,” I said, in an attempt to lighten the mood. “That was the second worst day of my life.”
“What was the first?”
“Hah, I’m not sappy or drunk enough to tell you that story.” We shared in the silence of the night, listening to the faded noise of the party in the distance. It was nice to be away from the chaos. Just alone and comfortable, despite my drenched face.
It was a surprise to me when Judy opened the conversation next.
“So...How do you go from complete tool to police officer?”
“Very carefully. It helps to have friends, real friends, to get your fragile ego back to stable levels. Even though I acted like a jerk, they still took me back. One of my friends just happened to have his sights on being a rabbit cop, just like you. He pushed me into following him to give my dull life some purpose, I guess.”
I looked to Judy, expecting to see her listening to my story. Instead, I was met with a face of intense concern.
“How do you know that?”
“Know what?” I asked.
“How do you know I wanted to be a cop?”
I froze and replayed what I had said in my head, realizing my slipup. So small a detail that I had forgotten.
“I haven’t told you that,” Judy said, with rising anger in her voice. “So, how do you know?”
“You...Have a record that I’ve read.”
“That shouldn’t have anything about my attempts to join the ZPD. Those are between me and the precinct. So, how do you know about that, you creep?”
Jack hadn’t been lying about her mental exams. Judy’s deduction skills were superb. Of course, I was in too much trouble to appreciate them.
Judy turned away from me. “What? Are you spying on me? Do you think I’m stupid or something?”
“No, of course not…”
“Are you some kind of pervert then? Trying to learn everything about me to butter me up for some sick reason?”
“I would never—”
“You’re disgusting,” she snapped at me, the hate was back in her eyes. “You’re the worst kind of person. The kind who pretends to care. You’re just a liar and a creep.”
“Look, I’m sorry,” I said, trying to keep her calm. “You’re right, that was intrusive of me to do that and I shouldn’t have gone snooping.”
“You think?”
“Evidently not enough,” I tried for a laugh but realized she wasn’t in the mood for my dumb jokes.
I rubbed the back of my head, with Judy looking down at me with more disapproval than my drill sergeant in the academy. At that moment, I certainly didn’t feel like a cop. Getting chewed out by a fresh eighteen year old. Bunnyburrow’s finest, indeed.
“I was just curious,” I admitted, trying to make things right. “And I am truly sorry. Honest. Can I make it up to you?”
“Yeah,” she said, turning in the opposite direction. “Stay away from me.”
I did nothing to stop her from limping away from the barn.
So close...So close to making a connection.
I hadn’t just been agreeing with Judy’s outbursts to calm her down. She was right, of course. In hindsight, it was incredibly invasive of her privacy to go digging around her records like that when she hadn’t even done anything. I didn’t earn it and took the easy way to get to know her. I deserved every bit of her colorful commentary, but it still hurt just the same.
When Judy was long gone, I slouched against the wall, feeling sorry for myself.
“Man, I hate parties…”
Chapter 7: Track 07: “Slipping Away”
Notes:
Ho boy, am I nervous about this one.
You always want to keep characters in character in fanfics. Even though this is an AU, I tried to provide a reasonable explanation to the divergence in this timeline compared to the movie's. Judy's backstory is definitely the biggest change I make in this story, and so I completely understand why it might be off putting to read. But that alteration is something I really wanted to explore with the story, so here we go.
Thanks for reading thus far and hope you're all staying safe.
Chapter Text
The mayor found out about me going to the party. Judy had told him straight up, not that I was surprised, given how the night had ended.
A bad week followed, complete with extra paperwork tailing the threats on the phone from the mayor. I tried to explain that I was simply there investigating noise violations and that there was a party going on. But he wasn’t hearing any excuses. Strike one, he called it. Two more and he’d have me fired.
After hearing the whole story from me, Jack tried to offer his apologies.
[I shouldn’t have dug around like that. Or I shouldn’t have told you about it. I’m sorry, Nick.]
I shrugged him off.
In truth, if I was in the same boat I’d probably have done much of the same. Judy was a curious, young bunny, and she was certainly the most exciting thing in the boring little town of Bunnyburrow.
I came back to work on Monday morning to find the cruiser covered in black spray paint. The word “creep” was written all over the body. My entire workday was spent with the paint remover with moderate success, cleaning up the car as best I could while Hank watched me from the office with a cold beer in paw.
Tuesday held paperwork.
Wednesday, more paperwork.
Thursday, guess what? Even more paperwork.
Friday was a little more interesting. The Bunnyburrow high school was seeing its graduation ceremony and school was out for the summer. Hank and I were tasked with making sure everyone was kept safe on the streets near the local district. Minor traffic job, but it got us out of the station.
Saturday was boring until the evening, when the graduation parties started. I offered to take the night shift in watching the main streets for any drunk drivers. I ended up pulling over a few speeding kids and gave out some tickets, but thankfully I didn’t have to bring anyone in. I didn’t get back home until the early morning. Just in time for my Sunday off.
It was around 4 AM when I reached the apartment, empty and dark, as usual. There was a temptation to go straight to bed. But after getting wired on several cups of coffee, I knew I’d just be lying in bed awake for a few hours before I could actually sleep. Instead I stripped to my undershirt and jeans, grabbed my guitar, and sat on the living room couch to begin playing. After a terrible week since Judy’s birthday party, my paws were moving on their own.
There’s a certain event that happens in every artist’s life.
The only word that can be used to describe it is a groove. It’s something deep seated and primal that’s bursting out of you. You suddenly have this urge to create something and express all the pent up emotions you’ve been holding back or haven’t spoken about. Painters create abstract beauties of art, writers have their poems and stories and musicians pour their souls into their instruments.
If you’ve never played an instrument or had rhythm, it’s really hard to put it into words what it’s like to write a song. It’s just a beat inside you, deeper than your own pulsing heart. It doesn’t escape you unless you make some noise to placate it. Even when you do that, it’s rarely ever the exact same thing you’ve been hearing in your head. Over and over, like an insistent tick.
Somehow, be it luck or my own skill, the music my guitar was producing perfectly mimicked the rhythm in my head and I was in a haze for hours. My vision blurred until there was just me and the guitar. Even as my claws dulled from the constant plucking of string. I wanted to do nothing but perform, feeling cooped up since the party.
When I could play the song from memory ten times, from start to finish, I was satisfied enough to take a break. It was beautiful, raw, and personal. But it had no lyrics and I wasn’t in the right mind to think of any or even give it a name. Not to mention I was starving for food. I glanced at the clock on my phone. 7 AM.
At that point, the coffee was starting to wear off and I was fast losing lucidity. I put the guitar next to the sofa and sat up in a stretch. My lulling mood was completely killed by the sound of angry voices outside my door, followed by the rattling of keys.
One was the mayor’s voice, which I knew well from over the phone.
“...And I’ll tell you another thing, Grey. If I find you asleep in the broom closet one more time, I’ll have your tail nailed to my wall.”
“S-Sorry, sir. It’s just the end of my twelve hour shift and—”
“That’s no excuse. You’re representing the town when you work in the office. My office. You’d best remember that for next week.”
The door opened to two very different mammals.
Both were heavy set, with the mayor being his usual ray of sunshine in the morning. The other was a fox. He was taller than me, I could tell even at a distance. But I noticed the large bite mark on his left ear. Hank’s words echoed in my head. She bit half his ear off, Nick.
The fox finally realized that I was standing there in the living room. His eyes widened in surprise before determining that I was his roommate. Despite that, it was the mayor who spoke first.
“Sheriff Wilde.”
“Mayor Hopps,” I replied with the same snark.
“I see you’re bright and early for your day off.”
“I was actually just on my way to bed. Need to be well rested for the party I’m going to in the evening.”
It was unwise to taunt the mayor so soon after our disagreement. But without sleep, I wasn’t fully in my right mind.
The other fox seemed to appreciate the attention off of himself. He stepped aside, knowing full well not to get in the crossfire with the mayor. Smart fox . I couldn’t say the same for me, considering I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. By luck, or perhaps because he felt outnumbered by foxes, the mayor did not continue berating either of us and waved his paw off.
“I don’t have time for this,” he muttered. “There’s work in the fields and appointments in the office. You’d best remember what I told you next week, Grey. If I have to warn you again…”
“I understand, sir.”
He left without so much as a goodbye. I returned the favor by slamming the door shut. With the mayor gone, I could get a better look at my roommate.
He was bigger than me in every way, despite looking a few years younger. He had a much stubbier snout and blue eyes. I saw that the clothes he was wearing were akin to a janitor’s outfit, blue denim shirt and jeans. He rubbed at the back of his head as he looked me over too. The silence was fast becoming awkward.
“Uh,” he stuttered. “Thanks...For that. With Stu.”
“No problem. Sounded like he was bullying you.”
“It weren’t so bad...And I did deserve it this time.”
Talk about someone who’s been whipped. Not that I could blame him given how friendly the mayor was around foxes. Just by looking at the fellow before me, I could tell that he wasn’t one for confrontation. He couldn’t even keep eye contact with me as we spoke.
I decided to make the first jump and break the quiet by offering my paw.
“Nick Wilde. You must be the mysterious ‘G.’”
The fox hesitated but accepted my shake, limp and loose. “Heh, yeah. Name’s Gideon. Gideon Grey.”
“Sorry for missing you last week on my day off, Gid. I had a birthday party to watch over.”
“It’s no problem at all...You’re the sheriff then?”
“For now. Unless the mayor has something to say about it,” I said with a wink. “Safe to say he doesn’t like foxes too much.”
“Yeah...Sorry about that.”
“Not your fault. Come on, I was just about to set up breakfast before taking a nap. You like french toast? It’s the least I can do considering you’ve been the one supplying food for our apartment.”
“It’s really no trouble. Most of it is leftovers from the bakery I work at on weekdays...Or just experiments I put together in my spare time.”
“Well, that casserole I found was sublime. It was all I could do to not eat it in one sitting.”
Talking kept me awake as I got to work around the kitchen. It was nice to have a face to place for my roommate, who had been keeping our fridge well stocked while I was busy at work. Gideon returned my appreciation with some of his own.
“It’s nice to see the floor, by the way,” he said as I served him the first batch of sizzling french toast. “I’ve been living in this apartment for a year and haven’t had the time to clean or even unpack.”
“You’ve been living here all alone?”
“I have family in the trailer park, with my parents and my little sister. But I wanted to go off on my own especially after graduation when they built the complex. Took odd jobs around the town to support myself. One of them happens to be working for Mr. Hopps.”
“I guess that explains his colorful attitude this morning,” I joined him with my own breakfast. “Between you and me, he’s easily the worst part of Bunnyburrow.”
Gideon swallowed. “He has his reasons.”
“Right. Judy.”
If I wasn’t already positive that Gideon was the fox who had been attacked by Judy, his flinch confirmed it. But then I remembered what happened when I dug too deep into Judy’s past.
“My apologies. I get the impression she’s a sensitive subject around these parts. Let’s talk about something else.”
Gideon looked down at his half-eaten food. “...Has she been giving you trouble? As the sheriff?”
I waved him off. “No more than what I’m prepared to handle as an officer. Don’t worry about her. She’s just the town punk. There’s one in every community.”
“I’m real sorry about her and Stu…”
“You don’t have to keep apologizing, Gid. It’s not like it’s your fault.”
“Actually...It kinda is.”
Curiosity was starting to get the better of me. With Gideon’s prompting, I couldn’t not ask what he meant by that. It was as much Gideon’s story as it was Judy’s, after all. Though I was going to handle it delicately. Only what he wanted to tell me.
“Alright,” I said, crossing my arms. “I’ll bite. How is it your fault? I saw your scarred ear, but I didn’t want to pry. I’m guessing that’s not from a lion or a bobcat.”
Gideon reached up to his ear and clasped it tightly. “No, it's not…”
“Judy did that to you, didn’t she?”
“Yeah…”
“So, pardon me for being blunt, Gid. But I don’t see how any of this is your fault if she’s the one who assaulted you.”
“It’s cause she had every reason to. You’ve seen her leg, right? Her limp?”
A limp so bad that she needed to steal medication for it. “Yeah?”
“I caused it. It’s my fault”
That certainly put a new spin on my image of the passive fox before me.
I raised my eyebrow, but not my voice. Just by his body language, I could tell this was an intense subject for Gideon. The kind that only a therapist should be equipped to handle.
Gideon shifted in his seat as he prepared to continue. “You’re a good fox, from what little I know of you. So, you should know...Why things are the way they are around here. Most folks round here know the whole story anyway. You can ask near anyone about it and they’ll tell you everything. Not exactly a secret or nothing. But I’ll try to tell you my angle, as best as I can…”
It started with the Carrot’s Day Festival about nine years ago and that stupid program where all the kits decide what career they want to pursue and put on a play for it.
I was a few years older than Judy, but they held me back on account of my smarts. Or lack thereof. I was a troubled kit with no real direction. And you can imagine what it’s like for a fox in a burrow full of bunnies. Folks always questioning what you were doing or thinking you’re up to something. No one said anything out loud. It was always subtle-like. But it was clear I was distrusted even before I could say a word to them.
It was no surprise that I had a chip on my shoulder.
And there’s Judy, this little ball of optimism and kindness. We were exact opposites, which is probably why I started picking on her so much. Mostly just comments to try to take her down a peg. I didn’t have many friends, and she was one of the most popular kids in school. Everyone knew who she was and she was always there to help out anyone in need. That was probably why she wanted to be a police officer.
When I first heard that at the Carrot Day Festival, I laughed. I tried to break her dream. When that didn’t work, I tried to put her in her place. I knew that the world was cruel and to see a naive little bunny like that pushing outside her norms was painful to me. Almost as painful as getting kicked in the face.
I had tried to steal some tickets at the faire from some other kids and she stopped me. If you can imagine a little rabbit standing up to a fox twice her size, you’d laugh too. I certainly did.
But something strange happened. She won the fight.
Maybe it was a lucky kick or a fluke. But at the end of it, I was the one running away crying with a chipped fang. Judy got the tickets back and earned the reputation of being a strong bunny who could stand up to a fox.
Me, on the other paw, lost what little respect I had. I didn’t just get beat up by a girl. I was a fox who got beat up by a rabbit.
I’m old enough now to not care as much as I did when I was a kid, but back then it was humiliating. At least before our fight, mammals would treat me with some kind of fear being a fox. Without that, what did I have? Nothing, or so I felt. And that festered for a long time as I looked on at Judy, envious that her own path looked so much brighter than mine. I hated her even more.
That’s when the real incident happened.
This was about six years ago, around the same time of year when school was letting out. I was failing all my classes and looking at a summer filled with extra schooling. The entire year, kits had been making fun of me. They made rabbit ears over their head and would pretend to scare me. I was absolutely sick of it all and unable to express myself or the raw hate I was feeling towards Judy.
Of course, none of that is a real excuse for what I did.
I had gone to the creek in the nearby woods to be alone, a little habit of mine at the start of the year. It was my personal space. So, when I saw Judy romping through the woods with some friends, I got angry. But I didn’t approach them.
I watched them from some bushes. They were trailing around one of the cliffs, playing a pretend game of cops and robbers. They didn’t even know I was there and I got a real nasty thought to throw something at them to scare them off. You know, just to frighten them.
I grabbed a rock. Couldn’t have been more than a pebble to me. But for a rabbit, I guess it was much bigger.
I threw it...And it hit Judy right in the head as she was playing near the cliff.
I watched her tumble over the edge and her friends all scream her name. I didn’t stick around to see if she was alright. I got scared and ran.
They told me later what had happened after they went looking for me.
The rock had given her a minor concussion but the fall had almost killed her. She shattered her left femur near the joint. If her friends hadn’t been there, she would have...Died from blood loss.
I barely remember what happened next.
I was so scared with the adults all asking me questions. Stu was the angriest and threatened me on more than one occasion. This was back when Judy was still unconscious and in the danger zone.
Thankfully, she pulled through and the severity of what I had done was lessened.
My family did their best to protect me and I got some slack for being a kid of barely even fourteen. The lawsuit that followed practically drove us into poverty.
And Judy was never the same again…
My conversation with Gideon woke me right up.
I had my head in my paw and was shaking as he described, in gruesome detail, the death of Judy’s dreams of being a police officer. It was like watching a car crash. I was disgusted, but there was a sick fascination in seeing it unfold before my eyes.
“What happened next?” I asked in a neutral voice.
Gideon showed even more hesitation but continued.
“Judy recovered enough that she could walk again. But never run. She stopped talking about her dream of being a police officer. But she didn’t start acting out until I…”
Gideon swallowed and avoided eye contact with me as he spoke.
“...I said something to her. Something I regret to this day.”
“Bad enough to get your ear bitten off?”
“I was still young, stupid, and bitter about the whole thing. I can’t stress enough how dumb I was behaving, even after the accident. I should have seen how depressed it made Judy. The realization was setting in for her that she could now never be a police officer. Not with a lame leg. Maybe a desk job, but not what she wanted to really do. So, one day, when I bumped into her hobbling around in the main street of the burrow, I laughed. And I said to her…”
Gideon grabbed his missing ear and looked down at his feet.
“...I said that’s what happens when a dumb bunny tries to become a cop. ”
I winced. Even years later I could hear the hatred in those words. Dumb kit or not, that was a horrible thing for Gideon to say to a girl who had lost everything.
“She snapped,” Gideon continued. “Maybe things had been rough for her that week. Failed tryouts with the junior academy. I dunno. But before I knew it, I was on the ground, clutching my ear as Judy clawed at my face. She just kept screaming at me… This is all your fault. Your fault. Your fault. ”
Sounded like Gideon had unwittingly triggered her fight or flight response. I heard it happened sometimes in mammals to a perceived threat. Being under so much stress that you had only two responses. Seeing Gideon after her accident must have been too much, on top of whatever else Judy had been dealing with that day. At the end of the day, we were all mammals. We were all susceptible to our own instincts.
There wasn’t a single word to describe how I felt about the whole story, so I maintained my neutral expression. All emotions sort of blended together in one complicated mess. The awful truth can do that to you, sometimes. It was depressing and enlightening all at once. And I wish I hadn’t heard any of it. It would have been easier to look at Gideon as a bumbling roommate who only worked the night shifts and communicated with me through sticky notes. Now, he was something else. On some level, I could relate to him. I might have acted the same way without friends. Without Jack.
But to say what he did, and do what he said…I just had no response.
Gideon continued to keep his head hung low at the table, knowing exactly how I was feeling about the subject. It was all he could do to keep talking and end the awkward silence.
“Like I said,” he said with a wavering tone. “It’s my fault. Stu’s distrust of foxes only increased after both incidents. Judy got her first mark on her record by assaulting me and it went downhill from there. Mammals started talking about her behind her back, scared of her and afraid she might attack them next. I knew that vicious cycle all too well. I watched her get worse and worse. But I kept my distance. I was too much of a coward to apologize, not that she would probably ever let me say it to her. I’ve said my sorries to Stu though…”
“He’s still hard on you for it,” I observed.
“He has every right to be, I think. I almost killed his daughter by being jealous and stupid.”
“And yet you work for him?”
Gideon let out a heavy sigh. “After I graduated, I didn’t have much in the way of prospects. And I still felt horrible about the whole thing. I took a job as the town hall janitor on weekends, a small way to try and make it up to him. He always assigns me the night shifts or the most difficult tasks, and probably expects me to fail. But I want to keep trying in the hope that maybe it will do some good for his family after all the trouble I caused.”
“You know, there is a better way. You could just apologize to Judy…”
“I’m not ready for that yet. Or I’m just a big, old coward for what she would say to me. Take your pick, Nick.”
I clicked my tongue in disappointment but knew that, deep down, again I’d probably act in the same way. I had already gotten burned by Judy for less. And now I was doing my best to avoid her, knowing the trouble she had caused me. After all, you needed to play with fire to break the ice.
“So, now you know the whole story,” said Gideon as he rubbed the back of his head. “I thought it was only fair for you to understand why the Hopps ain’t friendly when it comes to foxes like us.”
“Can’t say I’m too pleased to know,” I looked down at the bigger fox. “But thanks for sharing, all the same.”
“You’re welcome…Just, please. Don’t tell Judy this. In fact, it’s better if you don’t even tell her you know me. I think that would make her give you even more trouble...”
I could tell by Gideon’s eyes that he was expecting the worst from me. No doubt some mammals scorned him for what he had done. I could imagine that a lot of the other foxes in the burrow probably didn’t want to associate with him. That was probably one reason why he had moved out on his own.
“Well,” I said to lighten the mood. “This has been a depressing morning.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be. I blame myself for wanting to know. But...Let's talk about something else.”
“Right…” Gideon’s eyes trailed back to the living room, where my guitar was propped up on the couch. “You play music?”
Gideon had more smarts than he gave himself credit for if he knew to push the focus of conversation onto me. I smiled and jumped at the chance to talk about myself, for a change.
“Yep. Just wrote a new song before you came home, as a matter of fact.”
“Really? I have some friends who play in their own band, so I hear about music all the time. What’s the song? Does it have a name?”
After hearing Gideon’s story, I realized that the reason I had played that morning was because of the oppressive mellow mood hovering over my head all week. He had just given it context. The clues for the whole tale with Judy were right in front of me. Tragedy, like a rhythm, repeated. On and on. And, if you had the ear for it, you could capture it into a somber melody.
“I suppose something pretentious like ‘Requiem’ would be too cheesy,” I said with a smile. “Let’s just leave it nameless for now. It’ll find its own title, soon enough.”
Chapter Text
The weeks into July felt like a holding pattern. I continued adjusting as a police officer in a small town, learning the ropes. But I never really got familiar with anyone else besides the folks I had met the first few weeks. In fact, I was a bit of a recluse, absorbed in my work and little else. I was just “the fox sheriff” to a lot of folks. Every day, I’d work until six and come home to practice guitar. Nothing changed.
The only progress I tried to make was in the form of getting on the mayor’s good side. It was like chipping away at a cold glacier with an icepick. At least we were on last name terms by the time mid-July rolled around. Though my career felt stagnant as the sheriff.
Not that I hated getting up in the morning, but everyday it was a challenge to summon the energy to rise from my bed. I turned to old habits, like with my music, to keep me company. The days blurred together and summer went by fast, even though it felt like I had been in the burrows for years. And I was starting to hate Bunnyburrow.
Not the people in it. But just the name. Bunnyburrow. It's very existence brought a gnawing disdain in the pit of my stomach, which I poured into my songs into the late evening.
I didn’t see Judy around town much. Not that she was avoiding me, but we just didn’t interact with each other after her initial outrage to me died down. She was probably too busy with her boyfriend. I saw Andrew around, hanging out at the local hipster cafe on the occasion. He had a habit of flirting with other bunnies. I just put Judy out of my mind as best I could.
Gideon’s story had convinced me that it would not be wise to continue to pursue her friendship, no matter what Jack would say to me over the phone.
I couldn’t be asked. The mayor had warned me, I would say. Usually that was enough of an excuse to drop it with Jack. I still wanted to move back into the city, after all. And the long weeks in the burrow made me realize just how much I was missing home. Jack kept his ear out for open positions in the precinct to get me out quicker. And I just forgot about the punk of podunk.
Of course, if I knew what would happen between her and me, I might have been more persistent. But then again, things might have never happened quite like they did.
The first album’s been recorded and shipped, folks. Let’s jump to the next CD. Side B, if you want to call it that. It will have choppy opening, but there will be a happier melody in the end.
Stick with me. The real show’s about to start.
Notes:
Super short chapter, the shortest in the fic. For that I apologize, but I did want to have a transition chapter before the real story can begin. It makes more sense reading the story as a whole but doesn't translate the best in the week to week format though. So! For compensation, I've released a short story "The Three Rules for Foxes" which is a AU where what if foxes were creatures of the fae, if you're interested in that sort of thing.
Usual chapter lengths next week!
Chapter 9: Track 09: “Reception Fades”
Chapter Text
“Why are we going to this thing again?” I asked Hank.
I already wasn’t comfortable driving a vehicle in the rain without electric grips like they had in Zootopia’s Tundratown. And I was beginning to think it was a mistake to let the deputy take the wheel as I clutched at my seat.
“You mean besides the mayor asking for us to keep an eye on things?” Hank chuckled. “Come on, Nick. Usually I’m the one who has to be dragged anywhere.”
“We both know you’re just after the free food.”
“Heh, true enough. But you need to socialize a bit more. A month here and you still have trouble remembering folk’s names around the town. You still want to get a job in the city, right?”
“Yeah,” I said, reluctant to admit I was that easy to read. Those words were to me what free food was to Hank.
“Then this is your best chance to mingle and make an impression with someone of importance besides the mayor. The Founder’s Day party happens only once a year, after all. A lot of big wigs there. The movers and shakers of the whole state.”
The cruiser sped through the mud covered roads at a reckless pace. The summer storm wasn’t quite the hurricane the locals made it out to be, with barely even twenty mile an hour winds. And the burrow’s crops wouldn’t drown from a few inches of rain. But most folks were smart enough to stay indoors. What did that make us then?
My stomach was doing its best to ignore the swerving Hank was doing. Just a couple of minutes until we’d hit the town square, all lit up with street lights in the park.
“Anyone important I should look out for?” I asked in an effort to distract myself from the rabbit’s driving.
“I’d stay out of the mayor’s way, for the most part. He’s there to reconnect with old friends across the burrow. Some of those relationships are very important to the success of the town’s farming…”
I was about to tune Hank out until he mentioned another important detail.
“...And most of the sheriffs and police chiefs from across the state.”
“Including Zootopia?”
“That’s a bit too far for this gathering. But there’s plenty of mammals there who know folks close to the city or even inside precinct one. It’s all about building bridges, Nick. Play the game and get rewarded.”
It didn’t help that the game felt rigged against me from the start.
Jack was going on for his third year in precinct one. He bragged over texts about several big cases he helped crack, including mentions of potential awards to be given by the mayor. Meanwhile, I got no recognition or respect for my service in the burrows. ZPD hadn’t even bothered to contact me until well after my third week settling in.
A month into my career as a cop and what did I have to show for it? A cruddy apartment, a pawful of bunnies who all hated my guts, a roommate with breathtaking social issues and a job that involved me sitting around an office all day playing solitaire.
To say I was growing a tiny bit jealous of Jack was an understatement.
“Watch it,” I warned Hank.
On the other side of the road was a brand new sports car. It was the kind you’d have to be either an executive of a company or have rich parents to own.
Whoever it was, they hit a puddle that sprayed against the window of our cruiser, causing Hank to veer right slightly. My claws gripped tighter into the seat.
“Dang kids,” Hank muttered, speeding up the rhythm of the wipers to clear the windshield. “Shouldn’t even be driving out here in a car like that. Not built for dirt roads. Much less muddy ones.”
I took a few strained breaths. Every bump Hank hit in the road made me jump. I talked to steady my nerves.
“Didn’t take folks here to be the millionaire types with all the farms.”
“Depends on where you go in the burrows, Nick.”
“Yeah, prime real estate for CEO’s out here, building mansions in the middle of nowhere.”
“There’s more than just farmers amongst the rabbits, you know. Fancy lawyer types and such that make their homes near the train station, just south of the town hall. You’ll see when we get there, Nick. The burrows host a slew of colorful characters. Farming is not the only thing in our blood.”
Let’s hope poor driving isn’t either. As I thought about the sports car we had just passed, I kept a paw to my beeper. With both of us out of the office, the device was set to alert us if there was any trouble.
Not that we had any reason to expect anything on a night like this.
If there was one thing I could say about the rain it was that it certainly made the carrot-colored town square less of an eyesore to look at. Though I couldn’t say the same for the sight inside the town hall.
The old building reeked of mildew, being situated at the very center of the town square. Inside were paintings of the original occupants, bunny officers from the last great war. There were also statues, of course. And trinkets from the old days were kept in locked boxes on display.
Scattered about the room, hovering over the icons, there were the elder mammals. I wasn’t sure what else I could even call them. They were one black robe short of summoning the Dark Ones. I always pegged Bunnyburrow as an ideal place for a cult, but seeing the folks gathered at the party all but confirmed it for me. At night, when everyone was asleep, they’d gather in a circle underneath the building and chant in a dead language. Soon, they would bring about the end times.
Or maybe I was just being bitter about getting dragged there and letting my imagination entertain me.
I kept to the corner of the party, keeping my drinks virgin while Hank helped himself to whatever was available around the punch bowl. I was scouting around to see if there was anyone even my age at the party. Unfortunately, most were at least ten years older than me, with many more twice my age. It was the exact opposite feeling during Judy’s birthday party. And all of them were prey. I was the only predator in the bunch.
In the center, I spied the mayor scrounging about. He was chatting with some of the more ancient-looking rabbits, the ones who looked like they belonged in an old black and white movie. We shared a glance when he looked up. Despite me being there upon his request, he scowled before returning to his conversation.
I sighed, resisting the usual temptation to consult my phone and chat with Jack. The lucky rabbit was in the middle of his own Founder’s Day party, only his was with his fellow ZPD officers. Last year, he bragged about walking away with over a hundred dollars from a high-stakes poker game with his co-workers.
My dark mood didn’t go unnoticed in the party as everyone gave me a wide berth. The sole fox in a den of nervous prey.
There was only one mammal who gave me any sort of direct attention.
She was a pig and a police officer, if her uniform was any clue. I recognized her as one of the state troopers by her badge. After her fifth glance in my direction, I could safely say that she was staring at me. I wasn’t in any mood to handle the scrutiny of prey and was considering stepping outside before I settled on confrontation instead.
“Can I help you?” I asked, assuming the worst.
“You’re the new sheriff here, aren’t you?”
“What gave it away? The hat? Or that I’m a fox?”
“Your attitude,” she said, crossing her arms. “Surrounded by a bunch of bean counters and pulled into a party you’d rather not go to. I’ve been there.”
“And yet you’re here again.”
“By choice this time,” she smiled, offering me her hoof. “Olivia Humphrey.”
The name sparked a distant memory in my head as I accepted her shake. “Nick Wilde. I feel like I’ve heard of you somewhere before.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised. I left your office on bad terms, so I’m sure Hank has told you all about me.”
The realization hit me like a truck.
“You’re the sheriff from before me. The one whose car got driven into the ditch.”
“Ouch. Nice to know that’s all he told you about me.”
I rubbed behind my head, changing my tune to something more upbeat. It was slightly comforting to finally meet the pig who had been going through the same paces I had in the past month.
“Heh, sorry...In a small town, that kind of footnote leaves, erm, an impression.”
“Well, I had a little help with that. How’s Hank doing?”
I glanced over to the buffet table. Hank was helping himself to the pastries while chatting with one of the councilmammals. I hadn’t not seen some sort of food in his paws since we got there.
“Borderline diabetic,” I answered with a bemused smirk. “Same old, same old.”
“He’s been giving you a hard time?”
“Oh, you know.”
Humphrey gave a knowing nod. “I do indeed.”
Ah, here we go. The awkward silence bit of meeting a new mammal. Humphrey tapped the glass in her hoof while I had nothing to fiddle with. Instead, I just shuffled in place like a penguin trying to appear calm and relaxed in a blizzard.
It might have been easier to say something. But all I knew about Humphrey was her history in the records. Not exactly stellar talking points, if her reaction to her totaled cruiser was any clue.
“So,” she broke the ice instead. “How’s Judy?”
I fought hard to keep from wincing. It had been a while since I thought about Judy. A week, at least. I even finally managed to get Jack to stop pestering me about her.
“...Who?” I asked, trying to smile.
“You’re a terrible liar, Wilde. There’s no chance you’ve been in office for a month and not heard of Judy Hopps.”
I let out a tired sigh. The last thing I wanted to do at the party was get rung out over something so trivial.
“Fine, fine. I’ve had my run ins with her. But they were handled. That’s the end of it.”
“That’s it?” She asked, looking unimpressed with me. “No overturned trash cans in your driveway? No defiled police cruisers every morning?”
“Well, she only spray-painted the car once after I crashed her birthday party…”
“So, she has been giving you trouble then?”
“No more than her father — ”
I closed my mouth, realizing that I had almost spoken poorly of a rabbit who was in the same room as us. Though he was too busy chatting up with guests to notice his sheriff smack-talking him in the darkest corner of the party. Humphrey, however, gave me a coy grin, like she had what she came to me for.
I eased up slightly when she gave me a soft giggle.
“You’re fine, Wilde. It was the mayor who gave me the most grief too. I just wanted to make sure that Judy’s attitude didn’t extend solely to me.”
“You needn’t have worried,” I muttered darkly. “Can’t say she’s a fan of foxes, given her history with them.”
At that retort, Humphrey frowned. “Have they been accommodating to you here in the burrow?”
I shrugged. “Better than I feared, worse than I hoped. They keep most of the foxes tucked away in their own trailer park. Gave me an apartment in the area as part of my paycheck. I like the quiet well enough. Not much money to fool around with at the end of the day though.”
Humphrey shook her head at that. I wondered how long Foxburrow had existed as a fox sanctuary in the town, given her reaction.
“You don’t blame Judy for it, do you?” She asked with a hint of something in her voice.
“For the warm welcome with foxes?” I had to think for a moment, weighing the stories I had heard about Judy in my mind. “No. Of course not. It’s never right to blame one mammal for everything wrong with the world.”
Humphrey seemed to breathe easier.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I suppose it’s the mother in me that has me worried about her.”
“I’m surprised to hear you care about her at all. After she gave you so much trouble, I figured you, of all mammals, would hate the little punk.”
“No, I could never. Despite all the trials she ran me through, I know that at the end of the day it always hurt her a lot more than it did me.”
I did one of those short laughs that wasn’t really a laugh at all. “I doubt it. I know her type.”
“Her type, huh?”
Humphrey’s voice wasn’t laced with barbs, like one might expect from my short, dismissive commentary. Rather, she could make even her harshest words sound as sweet as honey. It was almost to the point of being annoyingly cheery.
I grunted at her prompting me to elaborate.
“Kids like her. I remember them from the streets of the city. Troubled youths that grow into troubled adults, usually ending up doing illegal things to get by because they feel like they have no other choice. Always ends the same for them.”
“And you’re worried that Judy is going to end up the same way?”
My shoulders barely raised in a shrug. “Worried is too strong a word. It’s par for the course. None of my business, regardless. The mayor made quite sure of that. I’m leaving Judy alone. It’s only going to end badly for me if I get involved with her. You’re a prime example of that.”
“And does it look like I regret a minute of it?”
I raised my voice slightly to deter Humphrey a little, but she struck right back at me with her own argument. Her smile still slick as sugar. Staring into her cheerful face was giving me a toothache.
“Look,” I said with a building groan. “I appreciate that you had the guts to care for the kid, even though it cost you your job. I really do. But I’m not going to go out of my way to look out for her. She wants to go destroy her future, I say let her. It’s no fur off my tail.”
“That’s it then? You won’t lose sleep if she ends up in a ditch one of these days?”
“Should I? Is it my job to?”
I had to remember to control my tone. Though we were off to the side in the building, any louder and we would start making a scene. Humphrey gave me what could probably be the closest emotion to sadness for her. A neutral expression with big, wide eyes. Her mouth was hidden under her snout as she looked down at her feet, and I couldn’t tell if she was frowning or not.
“I think you do care about her,” said Humphrey. “If you didn’t, you’d blame her like the other preds in the burrow. Judy is a hard mammal to forget, when all is said and done.”
One of my biggest pet peeves was being told how I felt about something. It was all I could do to count to ten before answering Humphrey with the most passive aggressive voice I could muster.
“I barely even care about this job , much less one angsty rabbit.”
That was the wrong thing to say, judging by how I finally got Humphrey to frown. I turned away from her to contemplate the origins of what I had just said. But I wasn’t given the chance to think as we went from bad company to worse.
While we had kept to the corner of the party, I noticed the mayor break from the crowd to take a phone call. After he hung up, he approached me with a concerned look in his eyes.
“Humphrey. Wilde.”
“Mayor Hopps,” I said, raising an eye.
“I have a job for you.”
Maybe the mayor had noticed my clear lack of enthusiasm of everything around me during the party and was asking me to leave. But given his tone, that was probably too much to hope for.
“Yes, sir?”
The mayor kept his voice to a dull whisper so that only me and Humphrey could hear him.
“My wife told me there was a disturbance at our farm. One of the local kids showed up in a sports car, drunk and demanding to see Judy.”
“Underage, drunk and disorderly call then?”
“Something to that effect. Bon was really shaken up by his appearance. He said he wouldn’t leave without my daughter. Judy eventually went with him. I’d like for you to go out and find this buck and bring Judy home.”
Bonnie, the mayor’s wife, I hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting yet. From what I heard from Hank, she was the pepper to the mayor’s salt. And I couldn’t imagine them being very different in personality. If she was in hysterics, like she was sounding, I could only guess what had happened.
I raised the brim of my hat to look the mayor in the eye. “You instructed me to keep clear of your daughter, sir.”
“I am well aware of that. But I can’t leave this gathering alone. And with Officer Slack inebriated…”
...I’m the last option.
I sighed. As much as I didn’t want to be at the party, spending the night combing around the burrows for a group of drunk kids during a storm didn’t have much appeal to me either. I was still looking for favors from the mayor though and I couldn’t exactly say no.
Humphrey behind me made the pill a little easier to swallow.
“I can go with him, Mr. Hopps. Two pairs of eyes on the streets would be better than one. And I still remember the routes.”
The mayor huffed. I didn’t think there was someone he’d hate more than me.
“It’s on your time, Humphrey. I’m not going to ask you to do anything.”
“You don’t have to,” she turned to me. “This one's on me. Come on, Wilde.”
I couldn’t help but feel like I was the boat caught between a rough ocean and a rocky coast with the two of them. The mayor glared at us as Humphrey guided me to the front of the town hall. Her hooves clomped down the slippery steps and towards the parked cruisers in the nearby lot.
“Still the usual frequency for radios?” she asked me.
“Yeah,” I replied as I climbed into my own vehicle. I wasn’t looking forward to driving in the rain.
“More things change, the more they stay the same around these parts…”
Water poured over the windshield as the wipers struggled to keep from blinding me during my midnight drive through the curtains of blackness. There were few places as dark as the Bunnyburrow sticks during a summer storm, as I had come to learn. I had only the radios to keep me company: one playing country music and the other spouting Humphrey's voice breaking the cadence.
“No one on Route 59. Everyone’s being smart and staying in.”
“Ten four.”
I was content to say very little to her, trying to forget myself in the music. Not that I was a fan of country. But in the sticks, that was all that played on the local channels. And I wasn’t in the mood to listen to the late night shows or hear mammals talk in general.
It was rare for me to be upset by anything. Sure, there were occasions where even the great Nick Wilde let his emotions get the better of him. On the streets, though, you had to learn quickly that you couldn’t let other mammals see they got to you. Most of that was handled behind closed doors, with close friends and family as support. I had Jack and mom to thank for that.
So, why was I letting the words thrown at me by Humphrey bother me so much?
Probably because I hated being told what I was or how I felt. Maybe I did worry about Judy and her troubling lifestyle. But that went out the window after she threw me under the bus with her father. I had more important things to think about than some punk from a podunk town. Having Humphrey suggest otherwise was just insulting. Hadn’t she been fired from this job? Who was she to tell me what I felt?
My cruiser skidded along the slick paved road of the interstate, one of the few asphalt streets in the burrow.
I had come to learn that the layout of Bunnyburrow was very simple with only three major highways passing through it. The interstate followed the train tracks into Zootopia, while Route 59 went south and north. And Route 6, near the town square, went west. The rest of the burrow was made up of dirt roads that cut the spaces in between. Those side streets were designed by drunk farmers in how they twisted and veered off in random directions.
If I was a kit with a hot rod, I would not be sticking around to the mud roads. I’d need a highway with the room to gallop and show off my ride
My first guess would be the interstate, but after going for ten miles up and down I wasn’t seeing anything. They weren’t likely to go anywhere outside the burrow. There was nothing but farmlands between the tri burrows, for hundreds of miles. Hardly an ideal spot for a getaway date or whatever trouble little miss Judy was getting herself into. I didn’t think a kid would want to go far either while driving drunk, no matter how reckless they were.
I wondered what Judy was even thinking about going out with a buck like that while he was intoxicated. She was angsty, for sure, but she had proven she wasn’t stupid. And she certainly wasn’t afraid to say no to him.
As I let the rain hitting my windshield calm my nerves, my heart spiked from the buzzing sensation at my hip. My buzzer had gone off.
I pulled off to the side of the road and came to a full stop before dialing the station back to see what the message was. With no one at the office, this was the only way we could handle emergency calls.
The monotone voice of the rabbit on the voicemail betrayed the severity of the contents.
“Hey, Sheriff? Station Master Tony again. I was just on my way home from my shift and there’s, uh, a car wrapped around a tree off of Route 6, from the interstate. Looks like some kid skidded on the wet pavement. Might be drunk. I’m, uh, waiting here now. Already called the hospital. Might want to get over here though.”
Chapter 10: Track 10: “Savior”
Notes:
As a slight reminder, this story brushes with some heavier themes, particularly concerning self worth and suicidal thoughts. Just a heads up for your own discretion.
On a more positive note, I hope you're all staying safe in these times. And thank you for reading.
Chapter Text
The closest hospital to Bunnyburrow was a good twenty miles away. So, it took the EMTs around twenty minutes to get someone out to the crash site. I was there in ten minutes, followed by Humphrey shortly after.
It looked bad.
Andrew, the boyfriend, had swerved sharply to the right on the road and crushed the entire passenger side of his new sports car. We didn’t even need to run a breathalyzer to know that he was way over the limit. He walked away from the crash dazed, but intact. The bunny girl in the passenger seat wasn’t so lucky. Jessica, I think her name was.
I remembered her from Judy’s party, the loudmouth who had talked about how Judy had no friends and pushed her into the mud. Judy wasn’t a part of the scene at all and there was no trace of her in the car. After questioning Tony the stationmaster for statements, Andrew had been cleaned up by the EMTs, confirming that the most he had gotten were a few scratches and minor shellshock. I approached him with Humphrey at my back, looking no more pleased than I was.
Andrew was sitting at the bumper of one of the ambulances, holding an ice pack to his head. He strained to look up at the two of us upon our approach. I decided to opt for a kinder opening than I wanted to give him and ease him into questioning.
“Doing alright there, bud?”
He didn’t recognize me as he squinted in my direction. “My car…”
I let out a low growl. Typical for a kid his age to be more worried about their ride than any loss of life or limb. Bucks like him thought they were invincible until physics proved them wrong. This rabbit wasn’t quite getting the message the first law of motion had laid out for him.
Leaning in real close, I gestured to the stretcher across the street.
“See that, kid?”
I drew his gaze past the wreckage of his prized car to the mammals loading up Jessica into the other ambulance.
“She almost died,” I said more sternly than my opening. “Trust me, you have bigger things to worry about than your car.”
Finally, the kid was starting to show me a bit of fear and respect I needed from him. If only it were under better circumstances. And, thankfully, I had a good partner who knew how to use the intimidation I had conjured up to full effect. I’d be the bad cop while Humphrey put up the concerned, good cop act.
“Mister Lepp,” Humphrey said with her voice still sweet as honey, but not so kind that it sounded forced. “It was reported that you left Bunnyburrow with Judy Hopps. But we didn’t find any signs of her in the car. We need you to help us out by telling us where she is, if you can.”
We let Andrew “um” and “err” for a moment before I lost my patience and took the reins again.
“Look, kid. If she’s in danger, we need to know. What happened? Did you hurt her?”
“I didn’t…” Andrew stated drunkenly. “I-I mean...She was…”
“It’s okay,” Humphrey gave me a look to cool it. “Just start from the beginning. When you went to the Hopps’ house.”
Andrew relaxed a bit after a deep breath. He was shivering like a leaf, even though the rain had let up. Perhaps it was starting to sink in just how much he had messed up.
“We’ve been dating for a while and haven’t...Sealed the deal yet. So, after a few drinks, I went to Jude’s to pick her up and...Hang out for the night. She didn’t want to go with me. That got me upset, so I pounded at the door. Her mom threatened to call the cops on me, but then Jude came out to avoid all that.”
“No means no, bud,” I said, barely hiding my growl this time.
“She told me she wasn’t interested in that yet. And I wasn’t going to force her. We...Fought for a while. I...This is some personal stuff, dude…”
“You just need to tell us where Judy went,” said Humphrey.
“...We broke up,” Andrew summed up his story. “I dropped her off where I brought her, at the train station. No one goes there at night, really. And in the rain, it was empty.”
“So, she’s at the train station then?”
“And just how did you get the other doe involved?” I had to ask.
“Jess? She was...Uh...My rebound. She had been eyeing me for awhile and she lived nearby. When Judy dumped me, I figured it was as good a time as any. I picked up Jess and…”
I could gag at the sight of the rabbit. I had been young and horny once too, but he had taken it to a whole new level of stupid. Humphrey took pity on him. Or, at least, outwardly she did. She wrapped a blanket around his shoulder.
“Alright. Just take it easy, son. We’ll bring you to the state station and we’ll call your parents.”
Humphrey guided me from the sniveling buck. When we were out of range, she whispered in my ear.
“Feeling a tad protective there, Wilde?”
“Please,” I replied, crossing my arms. “Bucks like that make me sick. Reminds me of a bad experience I had in high school.”
“If you say so,” though in the dark I caught her rolling her eyes. “Listen, I can handle things from here. Why don’t you go pick up Judy?”
“What? Why me?”
“Because it sounds like she’s not going to be in the best place after what happened and I don’t think seeing me again is going to improve matters much.”
She had a point, but it wasn’t like I was much better off given my last encounter with the rabbit. There was a nagging suspicion that this was what the pig officer had planned all along. But to what end, I couldn’t guess.
“The mayor asked you to do this first,” she added. “And someone needs to stay here and handle things. Technically, Route 6 falls under the state’s jurisdiction. My jurisdiction, being a state trooper. Go on, Wilde. Just keep in touch over the radio.”
If she was pulling out the jurisdiction card, it was hard to say no. She had a technicality and, if I argued against it, I’d probably just make a bigger mess that I wasn’t going to climb out of. Humphrey seemed dead set on making me do this. Not that I was a fan of the ambulance scene around us.
I sighed and stepped towards my cruiser to do my duty.
The clouds dissipated over the starry sky, letting the moon act as a stage light on the burrows. It certainly made for easier driving, even up the dirt road towards the train station.
I had a hunch where I would find Judy as I parked in the same spot Hank had when we first caught her spray painting the population sign. My improved night vision helped me scout the area, though there wasnNo trace of her.
I stepped outside into the muggy summer night. The passing rain had left the air humid and my fur was starting to puff up, especially along my tail. And everything was dripping wet. I reached into the cruiser to inform Humphrey over the radio.
“Wilde here. Arrived at the station. No sign of her yet. Going to have a look around. Over.”
There was a pause followed by Humphrey’s voice. “Ten four. Over and out.”
I started with where I would assume I’d find her. The Bunnyburrow sign.
Sure enough, my approach revealed that Judy had passed through there, if the string of curse words etched into the sign were any clue. It was like looking at a Jackson Pawlock painting. Violent strokes of black paint scribbled in every direction with seemingly no purpose. But I could feel the anger and frustration in the work. I found my heart went out to the sad piece of modern art. A glance over to the train tracks told me what had become of the artist responsible.
Judy was sitting on the rail, cigarette in mouth and hood pulled up. At her feet were at least six different used butts and an empty spray can. I could never forget her purple eyes as they looked up at me, red in the corners from crying. Filled with pain, sadness, and hate. Eyeliner stained down to her cheeks. I may have imagined it, but when she glanced to me, her eyes softened for just a moment. Though her voice was full of scorn.
“You were right,” she said with an audible crack in her voice. “About Andrew. About what he wanted from me. About my friends. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
We both went quiet for a moment.
“No,” I said softly to sound sincere. “I’m just here to take you home.”
She huffed and faced away from me.
“I don’t want to go home. I’d just be going back to a lecture from dad again about my safety or my choice in friends, take your pick. I’ve heard it a thousand times from him already.”
“Only because he cares about you.”
“Does he? Or is it just because he has to care about me? Like it’s his obligation or something. Like I’m nothing more than a burden to protect.”
I could see a hollow stare in her eyes as they gazed up at the moon. Glazed and distant, like she was halfway between dreaming and dying.
I was reminded of the first time I had ever seen a dead body. Not a common sight in Zootopia, but it does happen on the streets. Unfortunate rodents that get trampled and such. I couldn’t even remember the species of the poor mammal who had been left out in the cold of Tundratown as the EMTs carried him away. I just recalled the look of his eyes. Empty like a doll's. Like Judy’s.
Judy took a long drag of her cigarette and turned her attention down the track. The rails led straight to the city, if you went along far enough. A good two hundred miles away, far from the dark emptiness of the burrow station. Far from home.
“Sometimes I wonder if I should just disappear," she said in barely more than a whisper. “You know? Like, follow the rails. Leave the burrows for a while. Make people happy for a change. Maybe then it wouldn’t be so hard anymore.”
She let her breath go. Along with all the smoke from her last drag.
“Why am I telling you this?” she muttered to herself. “You don’t care.”
My mouth dried. “I care.”
Her harsh laugh sounded more like a croak.
“You don’t care,” she repeated. “No one does. I see it all the time in the burrow. The way mammals look at me. They see a loser. A troublemaker who only makes their lives harder. Same goes for my parents.”
“I care,” I repeated, stronger.
“Don’t lie. You only care about your job. Your career. You’re not my friend. You’re just here because dad probably told you to be. Give it a couple months and you’ll be gone, just like all the other sheriffs. You’ll either be scared off or go to a better opportunity. I hate you. But can’t say I blame you...”
There was a deep ache in my chest from that statement. Her words echoed for longer than they should have.
It’s just your job, Nick. It’s just business.
How impersonal. How clinical. Weren’t police officers all about saving lives and protecting mammals? That’s what Jack would have me believe. So, what had I been doing this past month in the burrows? Sitting around and filling out meaningless paperwork? Complaining about having it rough with the mayor? If I couldn’t even help one dumb bunny, did I really deserve to wear a badge?
I hated being told how I felt. But Humphrey was right. I did care. More than I could admit.
“Alright,” I said as I took my seat next to Judy on the rails. “Have it your way.”
“What are you doing?” She asked me with the slightest concern in her voice.
“Joining you on the tracks. Let’s wait for the train together, shall we? I’ll get off when you do.”
“I’m not getting off.”
“Then neither am I.”
We gave each other a hard stare for a few seconds.
Judy relented and accepted my company with a shrug followed by a long drag of her cigarette. I eyed the stick, envious that she had something to do while we passed the time, before I relented to satisfying my nervous twitch.
”Pass me a cigarette.”
Judy obliged and offered the last stick in her packet. “You smoke?”
“Nope. But it’s never too late to try something new. Need to do something while we wait.”
I stuck the butt in my mouth and accepted Judy’s lighter to start me up. I could taste the ash and the tar, but I breathed in anyway. It was like someone had blown fire into my lungs. My first instinct was to cough it out, but I forced myself to swallow and choked. That was worse, as it settled in like a poison to my stomach.
Judy let out an amused chuckle at my performance, contrasting her tear-stained face.
“Yeah,” she sniffed. “I did the same thing when I first started too. Dad used to hate it when I snuck it in the house. Closed space in the burrow, and all that.”
“Why’d you start?” I asked between coughs.
“Because everyone told me not to. And it wasn’t like I needed the lung strength anymore. I had stopped my physical training for the academy at that point.”
“When was this?”
“When I was fifteen. Tony at the station doesn’t really care how old you are as long as you’re paying in cash.”
I’d have to remember to have a talk with Tony after this was all over.
“My turn for questions,” Judy said suddenly. “How did you know about me wanting to be a cop?”
“Remember my ‘boyfriend?’ Jack? He works at precinct one and offered to look into what they had on you in the ZPD records. Dug up your applications.”
Judy winced as she finished off her cigarette and buried the useless butt into the gravel beneath her feet.
“I bet that gave you a good laugh, didn’t it?”
“Not really, no.”
“Then you felt sorry for me.”
Judy looked like the type of mammal that did not concern for her well-being gracefully. Pitying her was probably worse than teasing her. I could only tell her the truth. The honest, corny truth.
“Actually, I thought you reminded me of myself.”
“That’s hard to believe.”
“Yep. I was once an angst-filled teenager too with no real prospects either.”
“Har har…”
“No, it’s true,” I said with a smile. “Those days feel like a lifetime ago. But after the failure that was my high school career, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life other than play music all day.”
Judy raised an ear. “You play music?”
“Guitar, actually. A little piano too, but that can be a lot more expensive and we weren’t a well-off family to afford even a keyboard. When I was your age, I was living off the street making my money busking.”
Judy gave me a blank look. I suddenly recalled that I hadn’t seen any buskers in Bunnyburrow since my arrival.
“You know...Busking? Playing music on the streets for spare change?”
“Oh,” the realization set in on her face. “I didn’t know it had a name.”
Despite her hard exterior, Judy was definitely a country bunny at heart. I gave her a reassuring smile as I played teacher.
“It’s a lot more common in the city. There’s more failed musicians or college music students looking to earn some extra money there.”
“Which category were you?”
“Neither. I was too poor to afford college, and I didn’t have enough experience to be a failure of a musician, though I was on my way. After high school, I wanted to do nothing else but play my guitar all day. For a while, music was the only thing that gave me any sort of happiness. But you can only get so far on living off the arts alone before you become a starving artist. I couldn’t keep living off the tips from busking and relying on my mom. Jack kicked my butt into shape, gave me a huge wake up call. Made me realize I needed a real job.”
“So, why’d you become a police officer then?”
It felt like the cigarette in my paw was going to go cold if I just left it alone. But after taking a second, painful puff I realized how stupid of a concept that was. I coughed violently and made my confession.
“Partially because Jack was doing it, I dunno. I still don’t. When I was a kit, I had the idea of wanting to be a part of a pack, you know? Maybe it was instinctual. And after high school, Jack and mom were the only real mammals I had left to care about.”
“So...That’s why you want a transfer to the city?”
Judy would have been an amazing detective with her deduction skills. I gave her a sad smile and tried to keep the cigarette as far away from my mouth as possible.
“To get back to my pack? I think that’s fair to say, yes.”
“You miss them?”
“Every day. But I’ll live. I can keep in touch with them thanks to the marvels of modern technology. Still hard for me to believe what cellphones can do these days. I grew up in a neighborhood where the most complex technology we had was the old tin can and string telephone.”
“God, you’re so old…”
Judy let out a sigh before glancing to the rails and then her feet. She kept quiet for a full minute before breathing heavily through her nose. I was surprised when she stood up and snatched the unused cigarette from my paw. The indirect kiss from the stick didn’t seem to faze her, judging by how she huffed the smoke in my face.
“Alright,” she said, wiping her eyes with her free paw. “You win. I’ll get off the tracks.”
After coughing, I smiled at her.
“Great,” I said. “So, now that we’re not going to be taking the last train to Bunnyburrow this evening, shall I take you home instead?”
“No. I’m not going home.”
It was never easy with her.
“Your father isn’t going to be pleased to hear that.”
“Don’t care. That’s your problem.”
I let out a heavy sigh, my throat still sore from the cigarette. I had to spring to my feet before Judy took off without me.
“I can’t let you go wandering again, you know.”
“Fine, take me anywhere. But I’m not going to go home to deal with my folks yet.”
Judy followed me across the tracks towards the cruiser, tromping through the mud. She popped in the passenger seat like she belonged there while I grabbed the radio.
“Humphrey,” I stated. “Wilde here. I found her. I’m bringing her to the Bunnyburrow station. Over.”
Chapter 11: Track 11: “Megaphone”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
To say Mayor Hopps was pleased to hear about his daughter’s choice in lodgings for the night would be akin to saying a skunk butt makes for a fine rug.
It was quite the conversation to explain that Judy would not go home, and that she was safe at the station. This wasn't helped by Judy's flat out refusal to talk to her father and calm him down. It took Humphrey's confirmation to finally keep the mayor quiet. I had a feeling he would have come straight to the station himself if it wasn’t for his social obligations followed by comforting his hysterical wife. Though he promised that he would come by the office to pick up Judy first thing in the morning.
I had parked off the highway after getting some distance from the train station. While Judy waited in the car, I carried the radio outside to have a private conversation with Humphrey and get her up to speed with everything that happened on the tracks.
“She trusts you,” said Humphrey. There was more than some surprise in her voice.
“Sure, I guess,” I said, watching my cruiser in the distance as I paced around the highway. Judy was finishing off her cigarette and fiddling with my cellphone, which I had left behind.
“She does. You caught her in a rough place and talked her down. You did good, Wilde.”
“I mean, yeah. Sure. We had a moment. But I just talked to her. You know? Like any normal mammal would. I wasn’t going to treat her like she’s some bomb ready to blow up. Or like she’s some psychology-project slash test-subject.”
“So, you leveled with her and didn’t talk down. Nice approach with your silver tongue, slick.”
To me, this was the most obvious thing in the world. But I had also been a smooth talker my whole life and was used to dealing with all types of mammals on the city streets or getting Jack out of trouble when we were kids. Now that there wasn't the immediate danger of either of us getting run over by a train, I could put on my police hat again and act professional.
“What’s the situation on the crash site, Humphrey?”
“Going to have to call the demolition guys tomorrow to pry the car from the tree. The buck’s fine and we called his parents to pick him up. He’ll probably be served with court charges for property damage through the mail. The doe though...She’s not in critical condition, but she’s in bad shape. Got real ugly here when her parents were involved.”
I was suddenly glad to be the one sent to handle Judy instead. Depressed teens were a field day in comparison to frantic parents.
“I already spoke to the mayor about making this a state thing,” continued Humphrey. “Less paperwork for you and Hank. Speaking of whom, I need to go pick up your deputy. He’s currently inebriated at the party with no way to get home.”
“Give him a heads up that I’ll be spending the night at the station. We’ll see if he remembers it tomorrow.”
“Will do,” the pig had a sing-song voice. “Keep an eye on Judy tonight. The mayor will be on a warpath with you tomorrow.”
“Don’t remind me…”
Before going directly to the station, I made sure to stop by the apartment and pick up some much needed supplies for our “slumber party.” The holding cell had a small cot, which would be given to Judy, but we still needed sheets and pillows. I grabbed everything I could find around the apartment, as well as my guitar for entertainment purposes, and headed back to the car.
“Jack’s a funny buck,” said Judy as I entered the vehicle.
“Huh?” I looked up and noticed that she had been texting on my phone the entire time. “Hey! I didn’t say you could text anyone!”
Judy didn’t put up any resistance as I snatched the cellphone out of her paws. I soon saw why. It was dead, completely out of battery.
“You little brat...You used all my charge.”
“Wasn’t much left to begin with,” she said, with a taunting smirk.
I had left the charger back in the apartment and it was too much effort to go back and get it, especially if we were just going to sleep soon. I let out a tired puff of air at the thought of spending the night inside the cramped police station and tossed my dead phone into my pocket. I could only shudder to think what Judy was doing messaging Jack.
“What did you even say to him?”
She was surprisingly honest about the whole thing.
“Tried posing as you to dig up some dirt, but he caught on pretty quick. He’s smart. Didn’t take long to figure out who I was too. I suppose I have you to thank for that. He seemed to have a colorful opinion about me. He had a strong objection to me calling him your ‘boyfriend.’ Shame too. You’re both perfect for each other.”
Jack was one of those mammals that any attack, no matter how small, was met with his fiercest resistance. I knew him well enough to never overstep my boundaries, and he knew I never meant anything personal with my smart mouth. But a kid like Judy was perfect for getting under his skin. I’d have to remember to check my text history later for a good laugh, especially since I certainly wasn’t laughing at that moment.
It was my fault for letting Judy go at my phone for entertainment in the long car ride, but I was still a little miffed that she had the gall to message one of my contacts. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. She didn’t seem to have any boundaries.
I suddenly realized I was in for a long night.
We arrived at the station around 11 PM. Empty, as would be expected.
“Alright,” I said, carrying all the luggage inside. “So, you can stay here for as long as you want but your dad is going to stop by in the morning. Nothing I can do about that.”
She just shrugged. “First time I’ve spent overnight in the station when I’m not in trouble.”
Judy took her share of the blankets and shuffled to the holding cell. The bed there amounted to little more than a bunk, but it was still better than my choice in resting place. I only had my desk and chair to pass out on. And after the adrenaline of the evening had worn off, even the floor was starting to look comfortable.
I tossed my hat to the corner, kicked up my feet on my desk, and wrapped myself up in my wool blanket. The academy was certainly the all-time winner in horrible sleeping conditions. But the academy also didn’t have a rabbit staring at me from the shadows while I slept.
Judy leered at me in the doorway, her arms crossed and purple eyes glinting with mischief.
“I’m bored,” she said.
“Bored?” I asked rubbing my eyes. “It’s late. What time do you normally go to bed?”
“You know...When I pass out. I think the earliest I’ve been tired is 2 AM.”
Oh, to be young and have the endurance to consistently stay up past midnight. I barely had the strength in me to rise from my seat.
“Are you sure rabbits aren’t nocturnal?”
“I like the quiet,” Judy growled. “It lets me think and be alone for a change. You’d go nuts too if you had to share a burrow with three hundred siblings.”
“Right. So, what do you want me to do about it?”
“I dunno. Wanna see how durable the windows are in this place?”
I was up in an instant, blanket tossed aside as I stood between Judy and the glass. The words Humphrey threw at me earlier still rang in my ear.
She trusts you.
Judy gave a pout. Her stoic approach to property destruction right in front of me had me wondering if she even saw me as a cop anymore. Is that what it meant to earn her trust? Or was she just messing with me? I couldn’t tell with her. She was wild and uncertain. Unstable chemicals thrown together in a vat that may or may not explode. Without a doubt, she was the hardest mammal I had ever tried to get a read on.
“Suit yourself,” she said with a sigh. “I need something to keep me busy though.”
Her gaze drifted to the television Hank would often watch during our shift in the corner of the room.
“How come you get the TV?”
“Because I’m the one sleeping at a desk and not a more-comfortable cot.”
And the one sacrificing his night to make sure you don’t end up hurting yourself, you little brat. I gave Judy a tired glare as she limped over to Hank’s desk and snatched up the remote. She quickly discovered that the only channels we had access to were the public ones. Most of them were running infomercials and evening news at this hour, much to Judy’s distaste.
“This place sucks. There’s absolutely nothing to do.”
“I’m beginning to think you have ADD, Carrots…”
“I just...I dunno. I wanna do something, you know. Like, keep my paws busy. Make some noise.”
“I thought you liked the quiet at night…”
“Don’t twist my words on me. What do you do for fun in this place all day?”
“Oh, you know...On better days, I have an excellent cup-stacking project that has done wonders for my dexterity. More often than not though, I handle a mountain of paperwork dealing with eye witness reports done by the local crazies.”
“Jeez. You’re boring too.”
Her eyes trailed to my guitar case placed in the corner of the room.
“You said you could play guitar, right?”
I was right to bring my guitar along after sensing Judy might have some interest in the instrument while speaking to her on the tracks. I figured it’d be a good tool to distract her, if worse came to worst.
I folded my arms. “We’re not breaking my guitar.”
“I didn’t say break. Play something.”
“Play something? What? You want me to serenade you to sleep?”
She scowled at me. “No. Play something cool. You’re like a rocker, right? A busser.”
“Busker,” I corrected. “And not anymore. Something tells me you won’t be paying me for my performance and I’m not doing it for free. So, if I do play something for you, do you promise you’ll try and go to sleep? Some of us have work tomorrow.”
“That depends on how well you play.”
I huffed as I propped open my case. The sleight on my skill was all the motivation I needed to break out the music.
“Oh, I play well.”
My paws moved on their own as I strapped into the guitar to prove Judy wrong. She continued to stand at the door, a smug smile on her face and her arms crossed. I think she wanted me to fail. Perhaps that would give her some sense of satisfaction. But I knew I’d prove her wrong.
The only question I had was what to play for her?
There were the classics like Skunk on the Water, though that might be a little too cliched to impress Judy. I wasn’t familiar with any of the new songs kids listened to these days on the radio. Not that I hated them, but I didn’t listen to them enough to know their beats. Maybe something more personal, perhaps? Though I had written several songs of my own, there was only one I could think of to play at that moment. The nameless tune that had been hounding me for the past month trickled down into my fingers and, once again, my paws moved on their own and the music came pouring out like a geyser.
All the practice in the last month had paid off. But I was still plenty rusty. It would take a year to get back on the level I was before the academy, when I tried playing professionally. I was more focused on what my paws were doing than Judy’s reaction, but she had gone curiously quiet.
About halfway through I looked up to see her wearing an odd expression of wonderment. The kind a child wears when you do a magic trick for them. It morphed into a scowl the moment she realized I was staring at her. I smirked and returned to the music, paws gliding up and down the neck of my guitar. The song came to the slow conclusion, where I’d imagine the chorus would play for the final time. It was a nice and short three minute piece, the kind that would make for a good busker tune to belch out while mammals were waiting to board a train. Or maybe it would make for a good love song, with the right lyrics.
I ended with a full strum, still wearing my grin as I glanced up at Judy. She looked disappointed that the song was over.
“...Okay, not bad.”
“High praise from you,” I chuckled, running my paw down the neck again to make sure the strings were still tuned and tight. “What? Did you think I was lying to you when I said I used to busk?”
“Well, you didn’t say you were good at it.”
“True. But there’s only two ways you earn money as a busker. Either you’re really good or you’re really loud and folks just pay you to go away.”
“Exactly. You could be both.” She gave me a toothy grin that painted her like a mischievous imp. Her all-black attire helped with that persona. “I’ve never heard that song before.”
“I’d be upset if you had. I wrote it myself.”
“ You wrote that?”
“Is it really that surprising? Everyone has their own rhythm, Carrots. And everyone has it in them to make music, just like we can all read, write, sing, and draw. Art’s nothing more than learning to listen to that rhythm inside you and harnessing it into something beautiful through practice. Sometimes it comes out like garbage, but it’s still wonderful and yours all the same.”
Judy’s snort made me realize that I was having an intricate conversation about the nature of art and mammalkind with a punk teenager. Though her face was mocking me, there was something about her eyes which kept me from getting angry with her. She hid her curiosity well enough with her words and actions. But I recognized someone who wanted to make music. It was in the way she kept her gaze trained on my guitar.
I removed the straps from my shoulders and held up the instrument.
“Do you...Want to play?”
Her eyes widened a hair’s width, with the slightest sense of longing to them. But she shook her head and shoved her paws into her pockets.
“No thanks. I’m just going to look stupid if I try it.”
“You won’t,” I said with a smile and offering her the instrument. “I promise.”
When you were Judy’s age, your image is everything. You don’t want to do anything that will soil the tough persona you’ve worked hard to create. But, as you get older, you stop caring what other mammals think of you. Tonight had been an interesting experience making nice with a rabbit that, until a few hours ago, hated my guts. But the question remained: did Judy trust me enough to throw caution to the wind and accept my olive branch?
She hesitated as she reached up and grabbed the guitar.
It was a little big in her paws, given our differences in size. But not the worst fit for her. She limped over to Hank’s chair and sat down, looking more like someone who had never held a baby before.
“Do I...Uh...Need the strap?”
“Not if you’re sitting down. Just get comfortable with it. It’s not a bomb, Carrots. Hold it close to your chest. Are you left or right pawed?”
Judy gave me a worried look, like I had asked her the question in some foreign language. I didn’t want to scare her off before she had even played the thing, so I raised my paws and smiled again to comfort her.
“Hey. It’s alright. Just do whatever feels comfortable to you.”
It took some fiddling, but she managed to get a handle on the instrument. Though she still looked about as unsure as a teen driving a car for the first time. We managed to figure out that she was left-pawed through some trial and error. Lucky for her, it was a trait we shared and the guitar was strung up for that.
I leaned over her shoulder and guided her right paw into position for some chords.
“You gotta use all your fingers when playing the guitar,” I said, wiggling each of my own to visualize for her. “It’s harder for mammals like us, since we only have three on our paws. So, we need to get a little creative with some notes. Let’s start with some basic ones.”
I grabbed each of her fingers and positioned them in the way for the D chord.
“See those lines along the fret?”
“Yeah…?”
“Those are supposed to control the pitch with the notes. Try to remember them. It’ll take a bit of practice before your fingers naturally fall into place.”
I released my grip on Judy.
“Alright,” I said. “Now just strum the four bottom strings and let it play.”
I should have warned her not to rip into the fret, especially with her claws.
Somewhere down the middle line of strings, one of them snapped at her touch. I managed to duck, but Judy wasn’t so lucky. I heard her squeak and drop the guitar to the floor, with a sickening crack. The remaining strings blared in disharmony and Judy reached up to her face, which had been cut by the whiplash of the string.
“You alright?” I asked immediately.
Judy was doing everything she could to not cry out in pain. She winced as she dabbed at the blood slowly beginning to form on her left cheek. It wasn’t a deep cut, but it was the kind that probably stung.
“I’m fine,” she growled. “I told you it was stupid.”
“It wasn’t stupid,” I reassured her. “That was my fault. I’ve been playing pretty hard for a while now and haven’t changed the strings. They were bound to snap eventually.”
Judy sighed and licked her paw clean of blood. The cut was starting to flare up, but the bleeding would stop soon enough.
With Judy’s injury tended to, I leaned over to pick up my guitar.
The string had ripped right where Judy’s nail had struck it. That was the danger in playing with claws, not that animals with hooves had an easier time managing the fret. I immediately regretted not telling Judy to wear the strap when I looked at the bottom of the body where there was a visible fracture in the wood. Though I hid my concern with a smile, I knew that a crack in a guitar could become a huge problem down the line.
Thankfully, I knew a trick with some glue that would work to fix it.
“Alright,” said Judy when her cut stopped bleeding. “I’m going to bed.”
“Already? You’re just gonna give up?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” said Judy as she stood up and limped away from Hank’s seat. “Night.”
I couldn’t even return the farewell before the door slammed shut.
With a broken guitar in paw, I couldn’t help but give a heavy sigh. You didn’t get somewhere by trying once and giving up on it. But I knew not to press a mammal like Judy into something her heart wasn’t in. Best just to let her come out on her own.
I leaned back in my chair and got to work replacing the string.
It was a surprise to see Hank arrive to the station before his shift started the following day. Though, that had more to do with our guest giving him a lift. I was granted the rude awakening of Mayor Hopps glaring at me from the front door as I stirred from my desk.
“I see you’re earning your pay, Wilde.”
I glanced to the clock on the wall. “Technically, sir, my shift doesn’t start for another two hours.”
First thing in the morning and my mouth was as sharp as ever. The mayor might have reprimanded me for it if it wasn’t for more important things on his mind.
“Where’s my daughter?”
“She’s in the holding cell sleeping, sir. I’ll go get her for you.”
I needn’t have bothered standing up. Judy was at the door into the office the moment she heard her father’s voice. By the tired expression on her face, she hadn’t slept the best in her quarters either. The cut on her left cheek had healed up during the night though, and was hardly noticeable in the morning light.
“Hi, dad...”
In the month I had spent in Bunnyburrow, I had never seen the two rabbits together in one place. Nor had I ever seen the mayor’s eyes go doughy as they did. It was enough to actually believe he was a father.
“Jude,” he began. “You had me and your mother worried sick last night.”
I could almost hear the groan in Judy’s voice before she even spoke. “I’m fine, dad.”
“Are you hurt? Is everything alright? After the crash, we were afraid you had ended up like Jessica.”
“Crash?” Judy raised an eyebrow to me. “Jessica?”
I had neglected to tell Judy the details of her boyfriend’s escapades following their breakup. I figured she didn’t need to hear everything while distraught.
I cleared my throat. “We went looking for you after we found the car of Andrew Lepp wrapped around a tree on Route 6. He injured himself and his passenger, Jessica Durt. They were both hurt but should recover.”
Judy looked surprised at the news and then shook her head. “That idiot…At least they’re both alive.”
My guess was that the breakup was a long time coming, given the buck’s player attitude towards girls. Judy’s casual response left all of us dumbfounded as she limped to the door.
“Let’s just go home,” she muttered. “I’m starving.”
“Err,” said the mayor. “Right...Of course.”
Even I had to chuckle at the sight of the once stubborn mayor reduced to a bundle of stutters at the paws of his teenage daughter. Hank couldn’t even look at Judy, like one glance at her would cause her some offense. But I too was caught off guard when Judy stopped in front of me. She turned and looked at me with her strong, purple eyes. The scar from her guitar accident was still healing.
“Thanks...For last night,” she said.
At first, I thought she was talking about her cheek injury and being sarcastic until my mind caught up with all that had happened the night before.
“Oh...Uh, you’re welcome, Carrots. Any time...Well, no. Not any time considering the circumstances...Oh, you know what I mean…”
She smirked at me. Making an idiot of myself with my stuttering speech must have amused her. Then she was gone.
The mayor lingered in the door for a moment before raising his hat to us and following her out. “Officers...”
It took me a moment to realize I was smiling too.
I felt like I had accomplished something, though I couldn’t say what. Like I had made peace with Judy, in some strange way. Or fulfilled my role as a police officer. It certainly was an eventful evening and I wasn’t even sure I believed half of what had happened. I knew Jack was going to flip when he heard the whole story. I glanced down to my dead cellphone on the table, my broken guitar in the corner, and my police hat gathering dust on the rack.
“Hank,” I said. “Mind holding the fort for, like, an hour? I need to go shower and grab my phone charger from my apartment.”
After everything, Hank spoke with the first real respect I had heard from him towards me.
“Sure thing, boss.”
Notes:
One of the things I've been mulling over with this story is what to do with the extra chapters I've written for it. These "bonus tracks" are little additions, often not in Nick's PoV, that give us an inside view to events he's not privy to. For example, one would be Jack and Judy's conversation here in this chapter. The thing is, these additions came after I had written the whole story so they're not vital to the plot, just fun little dig into events we are only told about but would break up the pacing if we actually saw them happen.
My question is two-fold: are you interested in reading these extra little additions in the first place and (if so) how would you prefer accessing them? Like, should I include them in this base story or create a series with the "bonus tracks" as their own separate work you can access at your leisure? Should also be noted some of them might change the story rating a little.
Would love to hear your thoughts and thank you for reading! Please keep safe.
Edit: Thanks for everyone's suggestions! If you were curious about Jack and Judy's conversation, you can find it here (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24325792/chapters/58649299)
Chapter 12: Track 12: “Broken English”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Jack had some pretty colorful opinions about Judy following his first conversation with her. I listened to his every word. After I stopped laughing at him, of course.
A quick scan through the messages told me just why he was upset with her.
She called into question everything about Jack’s character, from his choice in career as a rabbit to his nosy nature in checking her background. There might have been a bit of jealousy from her, Jack being the first hare in ZPD. I supposed Judy’s ire against Jack had to do with me throwing him under the bus. Judy was after a little revenge for him digging up her files in the ZPD.
Jack, of course, didn’t see it as him doing anything wrong.
[That little delinquent is asking to be arrested,] I could practically hear him growling from over the texts. [Threatening a decorated officer of the ZPD. Who does she think she is?]
[Welcome to my first week here, Jack.]
[She’s a brat. If I was there, I’d have had her in a holding cell in two hours.]
I had all day to bring Jack up to speed.
Following my shower back at the apartment, I dropped off my guitar and snatched up my phone charger. When I was back at the office, there quickly proved to be nothing to do. Before, I would at least have a mountain of paperwork from the local crazies to sort through. But today, the busy work had been nonexistent. Had my encounter with Judy last night finally softened the mayor to me? I doubted that much. But maybe it was enough to stay his paw on outright hating me. For now.
Of course, this had the consequence of leaving me with nothing to distract myself. So, I made up for it by picking on Jack over texts. With my feet kicked up on the table, I texted him while Hank watched his TV, grumbling in the corner over Judy having changed the channels on him.
[Sounds like she’s taking you for a ride, Nick]
I rolled my eyes. After explaining what had happened on the train tracks to Jack, that wasn’t quite the reaction I was expecting from him.
[You know who you’re talking to, right? I’m smarter than that.]
[Yeah, but I’ve seen what happens when someone bats her eyes at you. You tend to fall apart.]
[First off, she’s a kid and I’m eight years older than her. Second, and no offense to you whatsoever, she’s a rabbit and I’m a fox. We’re kind of oil and water like that. Third, shut up. Angel was years ago.]
[And you still get hung up about her.]
[So what? Are you just jealous of Judy? That she gave me attention and not you?]
There was a slight pause between that message, long enough for me to stand up and grab my cup of coffee.
[I’m not jealous. I’m just trying to look out for you. Between her record and my colorful conversation with her, I’d say I have a good read on her personality. And she’s no good.]
[Right, mister super city cop. I’ll just defer to the genius who got me into this mess with her ire to begin with.]
The words came out a bit more hateful than I intended. That was the problem with texting. You couldn’t convey tone properly.
[You’re just new to this stuff, Nick. It’s only been about a month since you joined the force, and you’ve been on your own without much guidance. You certainly don’t look to your deputy for a good role model.]
As if on cue, Hank let out a belch while eating potato chips.
[What’s your point, Jack?]
[My point is I don’t know if I’d trust you to make a judgment call about Judy’s character. She has a penchant for disrespecting authority. And you’re a cop.]
I found myself huffing at his message.
[Humphrey certainly thinks I managed myself well.]
[Oh, no question. It’s not an easy thing to talk someone down in that situation. But this rabbit just doesn’t sound like the type to be sincere in the slightest. Like, what if this is all a ruse to get under your skin?]
I had a mind to put the phone down at that point, if talking to Jack was just going to get me angry. Out of all the things to come between us, I didn’t think it would be another bunny.
I laid the device face down and took a deep breath before downing my entire cup of coffee. Sleep hadn’t been the greatest and I rarely drank coffee unless the situation required it. This was one such occasion.
I counted to one hundred before sighing and going back into the fire with Jack.
[Look. I’ll be careful, alright? I was just hoping you’d be happy for me. I did something good as a cop. For once. And it didn’t get me in trouble.]
[Not yet, anyway.]
[Why are you the one fighting this? You were the one who originally wanted to make nice with the rabbit. You’re sounding like a huge hypocrite right now, Jack. Get off my case.]
Jack didn’t respond for a while, allowing me a moment to admire the scenery outside.
It was about noon on a midsummer’s day. The burrow was all quiet and we had the door open to let the station breathe a little. The AC was still broken, after all. Over the mindless dribble of Hank’s soaps, I could hear the sounds of tractors going in the distance and cicadas in the air. It left me with a sudden desire to be outside, the office was feeling a tad cramped.
My fur was still damp from my shower and the sun high in the sky helped dry me out. The clouds from the previous night had all been chased away, though there was a storm off past the northern mountains judging by the low rumble. It was raining in Zootopia. But the view in the burrows was picturesque. I wished I hadn’t left my guitar at the apartment. It would have been the perfect scene to play music to. Though, the instrument still needed to set with the glue I had used on it for repairs.
Instead, I had to settle for watching the approaching state trooper vehicle pull into the station parking lot.
Humphrey stepped out of the car, swatting bugs with her hat as she approached me. Despite the smile she was wearing, I could tell that she was looking tired by the strained lines in her pink skin. Pigs were usually easier to read than other mammals with fur. She looked more like she would rather wallow in a pool of mud than be out in the heat of the summer.
“You look bored,” she said.
“You look busy,” I replied. “I’m not interested in trading places, by the way.”
She chuckled and waddled up to the steps upon which I was resting. As she sat down with me, she fanned herself.
“We just got that mess on Route 6 cleaned up. Still parts of the car along the road, but at least traffic’s back to normal. Lot of folks were slowing down to get pictures. Dang cellphones these days with cameras and video recordings.”
It was nice to see I wasn’t the only one still having trouble keeping up with all the technology of the modern era.
“You can’t be here to complain about your job,” I said. “I do enough to cover both our bases there.”
“Hah. More just checking in on your end. How did things go with the mayor?”
“Well as they could have,” I rolled my eyes. “He kind of turned into a mess when Judy came out from the back. Surprised me a bit. I’ve never seen him act all nice yet.”
“Well, he does love his daughters. But, I’m sure you’re aware by now that Judy is a special case. If I might be so blunt, I’d say she’s the origin to the stick Stu is sporting.”
“The stick, huh? That’s one way to put it.”
“Stu acts tough, but put him around his family and he’ll melt into a ball of fluster and fumble his words. In a way, his two-sided behavior extends to the entire Hopps clan. Judy included, though I never managed to break past her mask, myself.”
“She’s a tough kid. Never let them see they get to you.”
“I know I sound like a broken record, but you did good with her, Wilde.”
I was suddenly glad I left my cellphone with Jack’s burning words back inside the station.
“Yeah? Now sing it for me. My ego could use the boost.”
“I’m serious. Was that your first big incident since your training in the academy?”
A quick run through my head told me that what Humphrey said was the truth. Things had been so quiet in the burrow that I had forgotten the last month had been mostly paperwork. A car crash was the biggest thing to happen in the dull lull of Bunnyburrow. In the heat of the moment, I hadn’t even realized it.
“Not unless you count scrubbing off spray paint,” I smirked. “Speaking of which, someone needs to go down and clean up the train station at some point.”
“The station is your jurisdiction, slick. Anyway, my point is I thought we worked well together, given the circumstances. This is going to sound out of the blue, but I’m looking for a partner for the statewide police event in September. Are you interested?”
I furrowed my brow. “I might be if I had any idea what it is.”
“Hank hasn’t told you? It’s the big thing for local officers around Labor Day. Officially, it’s supposed to be just a big barbeque party for the whole state’s police forces. You know, a chance for everyone to meet up and get to know each other. Comes complete with a band and free food. Lots of it.”
“And unofficially?”
“It’s a scouting tool. Zootopia sends one of its recruiters from precinct one to keep an eye out for any potential additions they can snag. The recruiter does the typical meet-and-greet song and dance. But they also look out for physical aptitude through the games and events. The point is it's supposed to be a team building event, so everything is a group game.”
It felt like Humphrey’s words were oddly tailored towards my desire to get back to the city. Everything was tied in a neat little bow for Nick Wilde to open up as a lovely present. All a little too perfect. That’s when I realized she had been the one to pick up Hank last night after the crash.
“Hank told you about my goal to get into precinct one,” I crossed my arms. “Didn’t he?”
“He...May have mentioned it while tipsy. With some prodding.”
I sighed and sunk into my uniform.
“Look,” I said. “I appreciate it. But I don’t think you would want me as a teammate for whatever physical activities they have planned for the little police party. I failed the academy twice due to my performance in physical training. I don’t think Hank mentioned that one, did he?”
Only Jack and mom knew about my continued failure in the academy. Not that I was ashamed of it. But it wasn’t exactly something you went around bragging about.
“Regardless,” she said. “I think you should give it a shot. If there was ever a time to impress someone, now would be it.”
“And what about the mayor?”
“He’s going to be there too. In fact, he’s probably one of the mammals you’d have to make nice with, given his connections at the party. It’s usually held on Bunnyburrow land, after all.”
“So, he’s running the whole show.”
“Well, he gets to decide where it is and who comes. So, yes. He’s the host.”
“The only thing that rabbit should host is a tapeworm.”
I scowled. After my experiences with last night's party with the mayor, the idea of going on a stage and performing for a bunch of mammal’s entertainment lacked the appeal. But...When else was I going to get the chance to grab the attention of the ZPD?
“How often do folks get recruited by the scout?” I asked.
“Oh, it happens fairly frequently. But it’s a mixed bag. Some of the younger cops interested in advancing the precincts take it pretty seriously. While the older ones are content with where they are and just have fun with the games. It’s supposed to be a party, after all.”
Giving a grunt, I looked into the dirt. “My best chance, huh?”
“I’m just trying to help, Wilde. It’s not mandatory. But you’ve seen what it’s like in the burrows. There’s rarely a moment where you can show you go above the line of duty to catch the eye of the pencil-pushers in the city. Your other option is to keep submitting applications to them, but you need powerful recommendations to catch their eye.”
I was starting to wonder how Jack even managed to get his seat in the city, with it being such a hot-ticket item. Made sense for eager mammals with hotshot personalities to all pursue precinct one. Jack was top of his class in the academy and would be the first rabbit on the ZPD, a good image for publicity. Couldn’t say the same about hiring a shifty fox with bad grades.
“Is police work always tied up in political hogwash?” I looked up at Humphrey. “No offense.”
“None taken. Haven’t you ever heard of red tape, Wilde? Politics touch everything we do. Speaking of which, I have a mountain of paperwork to go back and sort through following that crash. Making special mention of you in my report. Your ‘bad cop’ persona needs more work though. You got a bit too extreme.”
“Call it the predator in me,” I said with a toothy grin.
Humphrey stayed at the station to grab lunch with Hank and I. Just some pizza from a local shop, Edgardo's. Something she had been craving since leaving Bunnyburrow. While they munched on their own pies, I settled for a salad.
If I was going to consider Humphrey’s option of impressing a scout at the September party, I was going to need to think of ways to keep fit and healthy. No more donuts and beer for me. I was sure Hank would approve, that would leave more for him.
After lunch, Humphrey and I both took off.
The train station needed to be cleaned up before we got an annoyed call from Tony requesting that someone get on it. I didn’t feel like burning the new bridge with the mayor yet through laziness, so I volunteered to walk there. The walking was another health-conscious decision. I was starting to behave like a hippo on a diet after New Years. And, much like the hippo, I regretted it almost immediately.
Summer was in full effect, and, it being the burrows, there was little shade to hide from the sun. By the time I reached the train station, I was panting heavily. I was stupid enough to not bring a bottle of water with me. I only had a few rags, a trash bag, and some paint remover with me. And my cellphone, though Jack had gone quiet since our talk.
The scene was unchanged from the previous night, with cigarette butts everywhere and the empty spray can sliced in half after being left on the tracks. Black paint stained the ground like blood, causing me to shudder. The sign was a familiar piece of work, with vivid curse words scrawled like etchings in an ancient tablet. They suddenly carried less weight to their meaning. Angry words thrown around only to be regretted later. A bad memory to be cleaned away with the rags.
I was dehydrated and so absorbed in my work that I didn’t hear Judy approach me from behind until she spoke.
“Hey.”
She startled me a bit by her dark appearance. Especially with the bloom of summer colors all around her. How Judy could stand in the sun wearing full black was a mystery to me. But she looked completely unfazed by the weather. She had abandoned her hoodie, at least, for a T-Shirt with white paint splattered on the front with a black skirt to match. Her arms were crossed as she watched me work.
“Yo.”
The awkward silence that followed was enough to drown in, if I wasn’t already suffocating from sweat.
Following up on a rather personal moment was always challenging. I knew from experience that it would pass eventually, but it was the first sentence that always sucked. The “where do we go from here” phase. The truth was, I was surprised to see Judy so soon after the last night. I figured after a night trapped together, we’d want a break from each other for a while. The scar on her cheek had closed and was a rosy shade of pink in the summer light.
What was Judy even approaching me for? What did she want?
“Well,” I said to break the quiet. “Here to help me clean?”
It was a flimsy request that I expected a solid ‘no’ to. That only made me shocked at her response.
“...Okay.”
Okay? Who is this rabbit and what did she do with Judy Hopps?
My feet moved on their own as I stepped to the side and offered her a rag. She strained on her tippy toes just to reach and clean the top parts of the sign. But while she worked, I was contemplating her motives.
Maybe Jack was right.
Maybe this was all a clever ruse on Judy’s part to get me to drop my guard so she could make my life more miserable in the burrows. I told myself to stop expecting the worst from her, but the thought lingered just the same. Besides, what even was her end game? I could recall my second day on the job and the verbal sparring we did on the tracks. This was the same situation, reversed.
It didn’t help that she was being strangely quiet about the whole thing. Not coy, exactly. But she was avoiding eye contact with me as we scrubbed away the black paint. She wore the expression of someone hiding something.
“So,” I spoke just to keep myself from thinking such baseless thoughts.
“So,” Judy cut me off. “When do you get off from work today?”
What.
“That...Sounded way worse than it did in my head,” Judy backtracked. There wasn’t a sign of blush at her ears, though she continued to avoid my eyes.
“Yeah,” I said. My mouth had gone dry, though I chalked it up to my lack of water. “I think I’m a little old for your tastes, Carrots.”
She huffed a laugh, like she normally did to my bad jokes.
“It’s just...I wanted to…”
Her voice trailed off into a mumble that I couldn’t hear.
“Pardon?” I asked.
With a heavy sigh of determination, she faced me. This time there was a purple fire in her eyes.
“I said, I wanted to try the guitar again.”
“Oh,” I replied, slowly realizing what her request meant. “Oh! You mean...You want to give it another go?”
Judy rubbed at the scar on her cheek. “It’s stupid…”
“It’s not stupid at all. It’s very cool of you. Most folks just give up on something like that without ever really giving it a fair shot.”
“Yeah,” Judy looked away again. “So, can I or not?”
“Of course,” I said as I checked my phone for the time. “If you don't mind waiting until six. Just a few hours before quitting time.”
“Sure.”
It took more self control than I cared to admit to not let out a laugh.
I’d imagine to Judy this was like admitting defeat, on some level. At least, that was judging by how reluctant she was about approaching me with her strange sudden interest. Had music really captivated her that much? I could only wonder what changed…
It was food for thought as we continued to strip away the paint together.
Notes:
Thank you to everyone for your suggestions! I've gone ahead and put together a second work containing the "bonus chapters" called The Ghost Note Symphonies. I'll be posting links from now on to the appropriate chapters when they're supposed to happen to try to keep things nice and consistent.
Hope you're all staying safe and thanks for reading!
Chapter 13: Track 13: “Re-Education (Through Labor)”
Notes:
The first half of this chapter is actually written by the lovable and infallible paintkettle. I'd be curious to see if anyone can point out the exact break where our writing intersects! Thanks so much for adding just a little bit "more" to this chapter, paint!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The afternoon grew hotter as Judy and I made our way along the dusty roadside, back towards Bunnyburrow.
The hazy air shimmered, running out across the asphalt and ahead, the pale ochre of the town buildings quivered in the watery distance. It could have been a sleepy suburb of Sahara Square crouching out there in the heat, were it not for the rolling expanse of patchwork fields and furrowed dirt that surrounded it on all sides.
The chorus of cicadas grew quiet. Across my shoulder, I caught a glimpse of Judy’s ears waving nearby.
She had followed me from the train station and said little, hanging back and occupying herself with the pale bluish haze of her cigarettes, barely making a sound as she moved through the short grass at the edge of the road.
I turned and looked down at my feet, dust-covered and sore from the loose grit and baked hardpack. Each step felt more uncomfortable than the last as I sweltered in my full uniform. My shirt felt tight across my back and the pads of my paws had become slick and slippery. I curled my fingers, winding the crumpled top of my bag of cleaning equipment around them.
My mouth grew dry and I concentrated on trying not to pant.
We came back into town near the gas station, the closest escape from the heat.
It was a small building, painted a drab green tone that the peeling signage out front did little to enliven. A couple of gas pumps stood like sentinels upon the cracked oil-streaked forecourt.
Tucked away towards the back of the empty parking lot was a rest stop. It was no more than a simple bench sheltered beneath a shingled roof, screened from the road by a row of cinder blocks and a wooden fence.
In addition to providing shade from the sun, the station also offered a chance for some refreshment. I turned, gesturing to the open shop door. Judy committed to the briefest of shrugs.
Shriveling in the sun, I could wait no longer. I removed my hat and ducked my head to step inside.
The air met me like an approaching subway car, stifling, treacle-thick and carrying with it the faint scent of metal and grease. With my hat in my paws, my ears sharpened and towards the back of the shop I could hear a radio playing a soft, sliding tune.
Judy stepped around the side of me.
Her black clothes were flecked with dust from the roadside, but otherwise, she seemed unchanged by the heat. She slipped past and turned, vanishing down the furthest aisle.
Using my hat as a fan in an failing effort to cool myself, I followed to find her ambling amongst the shelves, running a finger along them as she went. Close to a window, she stopped and assumed an idle interest in a rack of magazines. As I approached, I noticed my untidy stooping reflection looking back at me from the glass, framed within a view of the edge of town. Ruffling my claws through the mussed fur on my head, I took a steadying breath.
“Can I…Get you anything to drink?” I asked.
Judy’s ear twitched slightly.
“I’m fine.”
I waited a moment, in case the weight of the air in the shop changed her mind. She ignored me and walked on, brushing slowly past a postcard display that had been set out on a nearby turntable stand.
I made my way over to the cooler. It sat in the opposite corner of the shop, the motor labouring against the heat. Condensation ran down the frosted door as I cracked it open and the chilled air within rolled out over my feet.
It was bliss .
Like walking out to the Tundratown side of the climate wall after a long day on the sand dunes and scorched sidewalks.
Tapping on the top of the door rim, I had to stoop further to examine the cabinet’s contents. Bright rows of soda cans glistened with moisture. I lingered, letting the cold waves lap around me while I sought something other than a syrupy soda to drink.
Cooled by my respite, I picked out a bottle of fresh carrot juice, closed the door, and looked back across the shop for Judy.
Slowing to pass the open doorway and glance outside, I returned to the aisle where I had left her. Appearing lost in thought, she was turning the postcard display round and around with a slow, trailing paw. Her ears were wilted back, but as I approached the one closest to me stiffened, and then turned as if it were tracking me.
She turned her head to follow it.
“Carrot juice?”
Judy frowned, looking puzzled at my choice of refreshment. I shook the foil-topped bottle.
“When in Bunnyburrow, right?” I said, smiling faintly.
Judy’s nose wrinkled as I joined her, curious to get a closer look at what had been occupying her.
I studied a few of the pictures on the cards, trying to find something that stood out. But to me, Bunnyburrow always seemed to be a green and orange uniformity. I glimpsed the town hall and the statue that stood nearby. It glared back at me.
“Are all these places in the burrow?” I asked, scratching behind my lowered ear with self-conscious claws.
“Some are,” Judy tilted her head a little. “I thought you’d know your way around by now. You’re the sheriff, right?”
While I’d become less reliant on the station’s GPS for my patrols, there were few places that truly stood out as landmarks within the burrow. And until recently, the only route I could recall with any certainty was the shortest one between the police station and my apartment.
“I know well enough...I just don’t recognise some of these other places.” I indicated to the unfamiliar views on the postcards. “Are they out of town?”
“Yeah, they are,” Judy muttered. “Nothing but fields and carrot farms here, dumb fox.”
As she turned away, I stepped closer to take in the crop of views around the little podunk town for myself.
There were fields, of course. Wide, empty places with lonely farm buildings dotted about on the rolling horizon.
There were examples of farm produce, grown for fairs or competition most likely, all arranged in neat, polished rows. Some proclaimed their arrangements to be “Best in Show” at Carrot Days long past, while others were captioned with gaudy greetings and welcomes that may as well have been printed in black and white.
Frowning, I looked to the other views, of covered bridges and narrow buildings. They were painted the rusty colours of autumn, and nestled close to rivers and woodlands. Given the all-too-apparent lack of shade in the burrow, I could only guess at their whereabouts.
There was a grand old tree, tangled branches disappearing into its leafy green crown, though it was difficult to tell the true size from the photograph. I found myself leaning in close, looking for something to help show me the scale of it all.
“Hey. Dumb fox.”
“Hm?”
Judy stood at the end of the aisle, watching me.
“You know, you might want to go buy that juice and drink it while it’s still cold,” she smirked. “You look like you need it.”
I took a breath to gather my thoughts before heading to the checkout, suddenly conscious again of my creased shirt and the damp pads of my paws.
The station attendant, Lyle, was a broad-shouldered buck with short tan fur bristling from beneath his cap. Sat in his usual spot behind the counter, he watched Judy from across the top of his newspaper. He folded it closed and then turned his attention to me.
“Sheriff,” he said.
Smoothing out my frown, I placed the beading bottle of carrot juice in my paw down upon the counter.
“Just that?” Lyle asked.
I tried not to look at the stack of confectionary in front of the cash register, and instead, smiled back disarmingly.
“Just that, Lyle.”
Even now, the rabbits of the burrow were still tense and uneasy around me. I was no stranger to him, but Lyle’s nose twitched all the same.
“Two fifty, then.”
Putting my trash bag down at my feet, I dug into my pockets and brought out a pawful of loose change. My phone came along with them and I set it down for a moment, next to my hat.
I noticed Judy leaning back, her attention drawn across her shoulder to the countertop. She was looking at my phone, and I could hear the small claws on her restless fingertips tapping the panelled wall behind her.
“Has that thing got any games on it?” she asked.
“You didn’t stop to look?”
“Battery didn’t last long enough.” She sniffed once. “So, has it?”
I picked a few coins out from my paw. Texting hadn’t been the entertainment I’d had in mind when I’d given her my phone. I figured she might have found the games herself, but Judy had seemed so focused on antagonising Jack, I doubted now whether trying to point them out to her would have made any difference.
“It has games, Carrots,” I told her, if only to satisfy her inquisitiveness.
Lyle didn’t offer a paw for my payment, so I slid it across the counter towards him and gathered my phone along with the rest of my things to leave. Judy peeled away from the wall to follow me.
Outside, the heat quickly returned.
Walking towards the shade of the rest stop, I removed the green foil cap from my carrot juice. Bringing the bottle up to my lips, I caught the scents of the afternoon’s work on my paw. They faded away as I closed my eyes, tipped back and was lost in sweet refreshment.
“Like what?”
“Mmf?”
I gulped back my mouthful of juice and coughed, looking down to where Judy had circled around in front of me.
“What games?” she insisted.
Games were the last thing on my mind in the returning heat. I gave a weary shrug.
“I don’t know…The same as all the other cellphones, I guess.”
A smirk played over Judy’s lips.
“You’ve haven’t stopped to look either, huh?”
I scoffed before I took another draw from my bottle and considered Judy’s questions. My phone wasn’t exactly a brick, but it was nothing like the expensive entertainment centres I’d seen some mammals using back in the city, their eyes fixed and heads down.
“It’s got the one with the snake on it,” I announced, after some thought.
“The snake,” Judy snorted. Her eyes widened with something like curiosity, as if I were some relic on display in Zootopia’s Natural History Museum. “You really are old.”
“No, Carrots. I just prefer not to spend all my spare time in front of a screen. You know, I can unwind just fine playing guitar.”
Judy let me pass and I set my things down upon the rest stop bench. It was low, about level with my knee and built for the comfort of a rabbit. With the dull ache from walking beginning to creep up my legs, I decided not to risk taking a seat. I might not be able to stand again.
Judy didn’t seem interested in sitting. Instead she moved in and out the shade, watching me as I placed my hat back upon my head. I adjusted the brim and turned to her.
“So... You’re going back to work?” she asked.
“I’m still on duty. I have to go finish up back at the station.”
Though I knew there would be little to do save for taking out the trash, ticking boxes on reports and listening to Hank’s slow commentary while he watched his TV shows.
“Is the guitar there?” The tips of Judy’s ears twitched, silver studs catching the sun.
“It’s uh, back at my apartment.”
Judy looked at me and blinked.
“It’ll be a private lesson. Like last night,” I added as reassurance. “It’s just a different venue. Are you...Up for that?”
The fur on my neck began to prickle as Judy continued to look at me like I was a piece of some sort of puzzle she was trying to find the place for.
“Alright,” she shrugged. “I’ll wait here, then.”
“Here?”
I was surprised, but relieved. Without due cause, I wouldn’t be able to take Judy back to the station. After all, it was a place of work, not a waiting room.
“It’s not like there’s anywhere else to go,” Judy said. “Not until six, anyway.”
I scratched the back of my head while I looked around at where we were standing.
In one direction, the town had its back to us, and in the other, the wooden fence obscured any kind of view beyond it. If Judy was intent on staying here until the end of my shift, I wondered how she might occupy herself.
She took a cigarette from her pocket.
“Okay,” I cleared my throat. “I’ll come back after work and pick you up?”
“Uh-Huh. Sure. You do that.”
Rocking on her toes as she turned, Judy looked as though she might take off as soon as I was out of sight. Perhaps leaving me waiting out in the evening heat when I came back for her would amuse her in some way. Something to taunt me with, like she had done with Jack. But why would she come all that way to find me, to ask about my guitar and then follow me back here?
Just to stand me up?
I tried to put those thoughts to the back of my mind, and was about to reach out a clammy paw to gather my things when Judy spoke up.
“Hey. Can I borrow your phone?”
My frown deepened.
“Really, Carrots? For what, exactly?”
“I just...Want to play some games. You know. While I’m waiting.”
Judy picked at one of her claws. She was trying her luck. But despite my reservations, our afternoon together gave me some pause for thought.
I’d bought my phone shortly after my graduation. Preparation for my first assignment, partly on the promise of a steady salary out here away from the city, but mostly, so I had something to keep in touch with mom and Jack.
Leaving Judy alone with it, especially if she decided to wander off somewhere made me uneasy, and I didn’t want to give Jack any more reasons to fuel his assumptions about her than he already had, either.
But, as I looked down the road, and my thoughts turned back to work and Hank’s babbling TV, looking for things to pass the time didn’t seem so unreasonable to me now. How much busywork had I undertaken each day? And how long had I spent with nothing to do but play my guitar after my shift ended, rooted to the sofa until it was time to either sleep or start over?
I swayed, dipping a paw into my pocket. Letting a steady breath flow out through my nose, I held my phone out to her.
Could I trust her? I realized I needed more than just my thoughts.
Judy made a face as I drew back from her swiping paw.
She stood right in front of me, indignant and alert, her eyes sharp as she glared at my phone. I kept it just out of her reach and waited for her to step back and give me a little space.
“You know, Jack had some...Choice words to say about you this morning.”
“Oh, really?” Judy tilted her head. “Did I hurt his feelings?”
She took her cigarette between her lips, and while she fiddled to locate her lighter, I spoke again.
“He takes things like that very seriously.”
Judy snorted before she cupped her paws close to her snout. There was a clicking and she lowered them, huffing out a stream of smoke.
“He should lighten up then,” she muttered.
I huffed. Judy’s words reminded me of the overblown action movies Jack used to insist on watching when we were younger. He would always get swept up in their intensity, but they had puns and deadpan delivery we’d mimic together for days afterwards. Our own little in-joke amongst others. I could feel a smirk easing in at the corner of my mouth as Judy searched my face from beneath her scowl.
“What?” she asked, in a way that made me straighten up.
“It’s nothing,” I said, trying to focus back onto the matter at paw. “Really...Look, the thing is…You wouldn’t be thinking of trying to pass on any of that kind of advice, would you?”
Judy narrowed her eyes.
“Dunno. Depends on him, I guess.”
Knowing Jack’s temperament, I could probably assume that if I hadn’t heard anything from him by now, I wouldn’t for some time to come. I checked my inbox. There were no new messages.
“Okay... Listen. You can borrow my phone. You can play the games. But, there are conditions.”
“And they are?” Judy asked, folding her arms.
“One, if I need my phone, I’ll need to find you.”
“I said I’ll be right here, dumb fox,” she muttered, gesturing impatiently with one paw to the spot where we stood together. I waited patiently until I had her full attention again.
“And two,” I continued, “If you see a message come in from Jack, please, don’t reply to it.”
Judy wrinkled her nose and remained silent.
“Just the games, Carrots,” I said. My paw was almost within her reach. She looked at me, her eyes level.
“Whatever.”
Judy hitched up on her toes, huffing sharply as she took the phone from me.
I let it go.
Judy stepped aside, dropping down to sit at the bench. She gripped my phone in both paws, smoke coiling from the cigarette clamped between her fingers while her thumbs darted across the keypad.
She looked up at me, and a game—the one with the snake—began to softly bleep, drawing her gaze back down. I watched her for a moment, and was adjusting the brim of my hat ready to shield my eyes from the bright afternoon sun when something occurred to me.
“Why don’t you just use your own cellphone?” I asked.
“What cellphone?” she said, without even bothering to look up. “Dad doesn’t let any of us have phones. Too expensive for three hundred kits. And I don’t think he trusts us with them.”
“You’d think he’d be open to the idea if he’s so protective of the Hopps clan. You know, in case of emergencies.”
Judy huffed. “Then you can tell him that idea.”
Following closing, I’d head back to the gas station, pick her up, and show her to my apartment. Though that left me the rest of the day to contemplate what had just transpired.
I was still pondering what brought on Judy’s sudden interest in learning guitar. Not that I was against the idea. But it was odd to be bringing her home with me, all things considered. Especially since she had regarded me as a creep not more than a day ago.
She was to be considered an adult at eighteen, technically. So, there was no legal reason to ask her parents about the matter if it was her own decision. Still, something told me that the mayor would not be pleased to hear her coming with me to Foxburrow. Her parents let her have free roam of the burrow though, it being a quiet town where everyone knew the name Hopps.
I kept telling myself I was making this too complicated.
Judy was just curious about music and I was a guitarist. There was nothing else to it. Just two adults — Yes, adults — having a serious conversation about the arts.
When 6 PM rolled around, there was a bundle of worms in my belly as I locked up.
With my beeper at my belt, I guided Judy to the apartment. She mostly kept her nose buried in the phone to the point where I had to keep an eye on her and make sure she didn’t wander off into traffic. Was there ever a better image of what was wrong with modern technology...
But the phone did provide an excellent distraction when we arrived at my place.
A cube of ice slid down my back when I noticed the name still plastered to the mailbox. G. Grey. I hadn’t even considered Gideon being my roommate as a potential problem for bringing Judy home with me. That would explain the bad feeling in my gut, my subconscious was warning me of my own stupidity. Thankfully, Judy was too busy with her game to notice the name of the fox who had broken her femur. And I didn’t think opening that wound so soon after the last night would be wise. I could easily see the situation getting violent, but it was far too late to suggest another location to practice.
I quickly reached up and slid the plate out of the slot and tucked it away into my uniform pocket. Judy only looked up when she realized I was delaying our entry by fumbling with the keys.
“It’s just opening a door, dumb fox. It’s not that hard.”
“Har har…” I replied, saying a silent prayer that Gideon had already left for work.
Thankfully he was nowhere to be found and the living room was dark upon our entry. I flicked on the lights as Judy put down my phone.
“Wow…” She muttered. “You live in a dump.”
“Hey,” I growled. “This place was a lot worse than when I got here.”
That much was true.
Most of the cardboard boxes had been packed up and moved into the closets, though there were a few leftover dishes scattered about the place. That was the consequence of me having never come home to clean last night. Gideon was a kind enough roommate, but a complete slob otherwise. In our past month together, we had created a delicate balance and harmony amongst our apartment: He’d make the messes and the food, I’d clean up both.
There was still the odd box around, filled with knick knacks from Gideon. I had learned that he was the official dump for clutter from his family in the trailer park. They would bring him things they had no interest in keeping just so he could hold onto it for them. That meant that we didn’t have a lot of room for furniture, though I had convinced Gideon to start looking for some niceties to add to our hovel. Mostly bookshelves and a coffee table. Maybe a picture or a painting to hang on the wall one day.
My own bedroom had seen the most change, if you could call it that much. I actually had sheets and a pillow, which I had brought back from the station during my shower. I found an old nightstand from a garage sale, with a matching dresser that I had purchased at a steal for $30. Only real price was the fact that I had to carry both back to the apartment without a car. That was a fun hour-long journey. But the den had become my home and I was comfortable enough there.
Bringing someone foreign, with different smells and a dark attitude, made me oddly defensive of the place. Instincts, most likely. I was the defender of my den. And Judy was very much an uncertain intruder. Not quite a friend, not quite a foe.
She plopped down onto the dust-covered couch while I got to work unwinding for the day.
Everyone has their ritual for when they finish working and come home. Mine was being interrupted by Judy’s presence, only adding to the tension I was feeling. It’s a sad day when a mammal can’t get comfortable in his own home. I couldn’t even strip down to my boxers as a part of my homecoming tradition. The most I could do was unbutton my shirt and take off my hat.
While Judy waited, I gathered the guitar from the kitchen. I had left the instrument to dry with the glue setting in along the crack at the bottom. The string had been replaced from last night. But Judy could tell that something was off by the clamps holding the wood in place.
“What happened?” she asked. There was genuine concern in her voice.
“Just a little crack,” I assured her. “Don’t worry about it. See? Holds together just fine. And scars on an instrument are a sign of love.”
The guitar had dried long enough and I removed the clamps before passing it to Judy.
This time, she took care to wear the strap. She fiddled a bit with adjusting her grip on the oversized guitar. But she seemed to remember our brief lesson from last night. I was actually expecting her to flinch from the sight of the strings. Judy continued to sit strong with the instrument in paw, like she owned it.
I crossed my arms, waiting patiently for her to settle in. “You remember how to play a D chord?”
I expected she didn’t, but was surprised to see her digits move along the frets in perfect formation. She mouthed something to herself, before nodding and strumming the strings. My ears perked up at the perfect harmony of the wires vibrating in the correct formation. Judy had played a D chord, as I had requested.
I stared dumbfounded for but a moment before I collected myself and continued the lesson.
“Right...So, let’s try a C major next. Place your fingers — ”
“Like this?”
Judy positioned her grip in such a way that her paws lined up exactly as they needed to.
She was a little shaky and slow with her arrangement, but I chalked that up to her inexperience. Though even her ignorance I was swiftly starting to doubt. If she knew the chords ahead of time, how much did she know? Or had this all been a game to her to mess with me?
Judy strummed the proper strings and looked up at me, a slight smile at her lips. It was the look of someone expecting praise.
“Very good,” I smiled back, though I had to ask the question. “Do you...Know how to play the guitar already and are just screwing with me?”
“No,” said Judy, looking away from me. “I...Just did some research after last night.”
“Research?”
“Yeah...I watched videos on ZooTube on how to play.”
“And you remembered all of that?” I asked, sounding genuinely impressed with her. “Without practicing on an actual guitar?”
Judy squirmed in her seat. “Kind of…”
Now I was curious to see if that claim was true.
“Play me an E minor.”
Judy obeyed and played it perfectly.
“A major.”
Again, she did as she was told.
I smirked at the robotic nature of Judy’s performance and decided to tease her a bit.
“J minor.”
Judy thought for a moment before shooting a glare up at me. “There is no J chord.”
“Sorry,” I said with a chuckle. “Was just testing you. Well done. You pass basic guitar lesson number one. I’m impressed.”
That wasn’t a fabrication either.
Sure, Judy was a little stiff when it came to her performance. But that would pass with familiarity and time. She just needed to get comfortable with the instrument to let it flow naturally.
To recognize the chords without require a visual aid, after one day, was nothing short of amazing. I feared telling her that might let it go to her head. Though, I think my expressive eyes betrayed me enough.
Judy shook her head and huffed. “What’s next?”
“Next?” I asked. “Why, practice, of course. Lots and lots of practice until you can put those notes into rhythm. It’d help if you had a song to start from. Something that could teach you the flow of music and help you go from one chord to another. How about something basic? Like Hot Cross Buns?”
Judy made a face that suggested I had just insulted her age. She strummed a few notes in a slow, broken pace. But I vaguely recognized the tune from somewhere.
“Really,” I continued. “You can practice on anything if you find the chords for it Or if you have a good ear. What sort of music do you like?”
Judy plucked one string violently before I could place the song she was playing.
“...I like Roar Against. And a little Skunk 41.”
“Punk rock then?” I shouldn’t have been surprised given her appearance. “I’m more a classic rock guy myself. But I’ve heard their stuff. Swing Life Away is a pretty little song to play.”
Some name dropping did a lot to help confirm I wasn’t just talking out of my tail. I never joked around when it came to music. You had to keep an open mind to all genres if you wanted to express yourself properly. So, I had exposed myself to everything I could get my paws on when I was a kid learning the basics.
“I like their one song. Survive.”
Judy loosened her posture a tad before removing the strap of the guitar.
“I’m hungry. What have you got to eat in this cesspool?”
I snorted. A complete one-eighty with her mood. Basic instincts over artistic integrity, I suppose.
“I’ll see what I can dig up,” I replied, turning to the kitchen.
The temptation was strong to pig out on the glazed eclairs Gideon had left in the fridge from his second job at the bakery. But I settled on something green, and not moldy, from the back. That didn’t stop Judy from digging into whatever junk food we had. Oh, how I missed the days where I could eat a whole leftover pie of pizza and not get fat from it. It was only made worse when she noticed the mess of vegetables I had cobbled together, drenched in ranch dressing to make it passively edible.
“What? Are you on a diet or something?”
“One of us has to be a healthy plant eater,” I said. “You’re ruining our group dynamic by eating that fried cricket pizza.”
“Our group dynamic, huh?”
“Sure. Haven’t you ever seen any of the old buddy cop movies? It’s always a predator and a prey. One’s the bumbling, loud stereotypical pred who eats a lot. The other’s the meek, smarter prey who keeps them all together and focused. If we're going to be friends, we have to fill the quotas.”
“Who said we were friends?” she raised an eyebrow, though she was wearing a smirk underneath it all. “And what do you mean healthy eater? I saw you pigging out on Pi-Chang’s back when you busted me for buying the beer. That’s, like, the most unhealthiest thing you could possibly eat in the burrow.”
Once again, Judy’s memory skills continued to impress me. That was a full month ago. Meanwhile, I had trouble remembering what I had to eat the night before.
“Alright,” I replied, paws raised. “You caught me. I am trying to watch what I eat.”
“Why’s that? Trying to lose weight to impress someone?”
“What? No. And are you calling me fat?”
Judy let out a curious “hmm” as she took a bite out of the pizza in her paws.
In return, I let out a soft groan. If I didn’t give her the real answer, she was probably going to hold it over me until I did.
“I just...Need to get into shape.”
“Uh huh.”
“It’s come to my attention that the state police force has a yearly fall party. A gathering of sorts. With all sorts of games and tournaments.”
“Oh. The Labor Day party.”
“You know it?”
“Yep. Dad is responsible for managing the grounds for all things that go on in the burrow. He was going to use some of our empty farmlands, where I had my birthday party.”
I gave her a confused look.
“What?” Judy asked, finishing her last bite of pizza. “I pay attention when I want to. By how you handled your prom, I didn’t think you were a partier type.”
“I’m not. All the more reason to take this seriously. I have it on good authority that there’s going to be a scout from the ZPD present.”
“Oh,” there was a dropped tone in her voice. “You’re trying to get into precinct one.”
It felt bad to admit it to Judy, especially after our talk on the tracks. There was the slightest hint of a frown on her face, before she shrugged it off and continued.
“So what? Just gotta impress them in the games. Jump through the hoops.”
“I think you’d know better than anyone that the ZPD looks for only the best mammals for the force. And I failed the academy twice in part to my lack of strength and dexterity. I’m hardly what you would call an ideal physical specimen.”
“I’ll say.”
“Hey, now. I’m in better shape than Hank. I can actually run.”
“Yeah, and you almost couldn’t catch me when we first met. And I have my limp.”
Judy dug out a cigarette from her pocket. I had the mind to pull it from her smug lips until she spoke while lighting the flame.
“Sounds like you need a trainer. What’s your gameplan for your routine? What are you working on?”
The questions caught me off guard.
“I...Was just going to follow the regiment from the academy. One hundred push ups, one hundred sit ups, one hundred squats. Yadda yadda yadda…”
Judy rolled her eyes. “Oh, that sucks. That’s not even that intense of a routine.”
“You would know better then?”
“I would,” Judy huffed some smoke in my face. “You should know with what you dug up on me. I tortured myself, even with my bad leg, before I called it quits and realized I was just hurting my body. But I still remember the best workouts, from core to cardio.”
“So, what?” I was starting to understand what Judy was getting at. “You want to be my trainer?”
“I don’t want to do anything,” Judy replied. “But you got, what? Two months before the party? Not even? Go ahead then. Stick to what they taught you at the academy. Do what everyone else does and see how far that gets you. But if you want to get in shape quickly and impress someone, I know exactly what you need to do.”
I was about to fire back my own choice words. But then I paused.
She actually made a strong argument. Two months wasn’t a whole lot of time for someone like me to turn around my daily routines. It wasn’t that I had been living a decadent lifestyle, just that I hadn’t been pushing myself. Even when Jack was my personal trainer, he took pity on me half the time, being my friend, and we had an excessive amount of skip days.
Someone tough like Judy would be enough to kick my butt into shape without remorse. She was something different. Something new.
I’d probably end up regretting it, but my logical side told me it made sense to have her as a trainer. It took someone with a lot of willpower to try for the junior academy twelve times, even if she failed in every single instance.
“Alright then. You’ve convinced me. Would you be my trainer?”
“Nope,” she replied.
What a little brat…
I Iet out a low growl. “So, you’re just going to mock me then?”
“I told you. I don’t want to do anything, especially not for free.”
I sighed, knowing I was playing a little game with the punk rabbit.
“Fine. What do I have to do in order to convince you to give me a paw with this?”
“I want to learn guitar,” she said sternly. “And I need a teacher. You’re as good as anyone.”
Her request took me aback a moment, but I guess I couldn’t say I was surprised.
I had the hunch that Judy had a deep interest in music that she didn’t like to reveal to folks. But it showed in the clothes she wore, covered in the logos of punk rock bands. Plus, there was her impressive dedication to learning.
“You could have just asked me,” I replied. “I wouldn’t have minded teaching you how to play.”
Judy huffed and averted her eyes from me. She didn’t have to say anything for me to know why she didn’t ask me straight up to teach her. I knew her type. The kind who didn’t like owing something to anyone. Maybe she still felt a debt to me after our night on the train tracks, like I would hold that against her. Still, I knew from experience how hard it was to ask someone for help. Especially if you were so used to being alone all the time.
“Look,” said Judy. “That’s my deal. You teach me, I train you. Got it?”
“Got it,” I replied, bowing my head low. “So, when do we start?”
“Tomorrow. You have Sunday off, right?”
I was surprised she even knew that. “Yeah…”
“Then I’ll stop by first thing in the morning so we can start,” there was something coy about Judy’s toothy grin. “6 AM. Every day. Ready or not.”
She was starting to remind me of Friedkin from the academy.
“So long as you can wake up that early,” I shot back. “No more 2 AM bedtime for you, Carrots.”
“Don’t you worry about me, dumb fox. I grew up on a farm. Early rising is nothing new for me. Just be prepared for the hardest workout of your life. Every single day from now until Labor Day.”
Oh, ho. A challenge. Well, two can play that game.
“...And in return, I expect perfection in your guitar lessons,” I replied. “No more mister nice fox.”
“Good.”
“Good,” I repeated, offering her my paw to shake in agreement.
Though Judy only came up to my chest in height, her grip was strong and didn’t feel as small as it should have in the palm of my paw.
Notes:
For the record, Judy definitely regrets having that cricket pizza later. Bugs and bunnies don't mix well on the bowels.
Chapter 14: Track 14: “Sight Unseen”
Notes:
As I'm sure you're all aware about the protests, I just wanted to do my part and wish that you all are keeping safe if you're marching out there. The message of Zootopia is, in part, about recognizing our own prejudices, something that only feels more relevant in these troubled times.
It's my hope that this simple little story can be a distraction during the tougher parts of all this. Thanks for reading.
Chapter Text
Whatever my bravado had told you, waking up is still hard to do. Especially if you’re nocturnal in nature. I had a miniature heart attack when I got up and looked at the time on my cellphone. 5:55 AM. No time to shower or even grab a bite to eat. I could only stumble around my room and rip through my new dresser. I fumbled with gym shorts from the academy and a white T-shirt. There wasn’t even a moment to fill up a water bottle when the knock came to my door.
Judy was unchanged from the previous night.
Same outfit and same level of lucidity, though wearing a hoodie with pockets on top of the skirt. Another difference was the stopwatch in her paws. She was my antithesis, with me being disheveled and dazed. By the smug expression she was wearing, she could tell I had just woken up. Or perhaps it was my scent from my lack of bathing during a heat wave over the burrow.
“Color me impressed,” she said. “I was prepared to bring a hose in and get you up the fun way. Oh, well. The morning’s still young.”
If I was in more control of my facilities, I might have been worried by that smirk of her’s. There was the look of mayhem in those purple eyes as we stepped out the door and into the blistering summer day.
It was one of those mornings that was pretty to look at from the safety of an air conditioned room.
The sun beat down on the golden wheat of the fields as tractors hummed in the distance. I was already starting to pant from the lack of shade around us as we walked along the dirt road. Things were not helped by the pit in my stomach. I was still adjusting to a diet of basically rabbit food.
Judy guided us, striding along the road as well as she could with her limp. I guess after the years of dealing with it, it just didn’t bother her walking anymore. Though I couldn’t help but notice how painful it looked for her just to simply move around. And how much effort it took to match my pace. But to slow down would be to pity her. That would only earn me further punishment in whatever training Judy had cooked up.
I was still left in the dark on her plans for me after last night.
Following dinner, Judy hung around the apartment for just a little while longer. I had her practice a basic song from the Beartles, just so she could work on her notes some more. Before she left around 8 PM, she warned me to prepare for an early morning. She also gave me no hint of what to expect for the day, which left me to drift into a slightly worried sleep.
But I still wanted to do this.
More thought on the matter had told me that I did need all the help I could get if I wanted to impress someone, for once in my life. That’s hard to do when you’re a fox, after all. And even harder to motivate yourself when you just want to sit back and play your guitar all day. Judy could be my motivation, in that regard. And I was only too happy to teach her about music in return. I just wondered if she saw our partnership in the same way or if she was looking at it as an opportunity to bring my ego down a peg.
Judy stopped at one of the open wheat fields, still overgrown with stalks taller than I was. I couldn’t hear the tractors anymore.
“Alright,” she said, leaning against the fence post and crossing her arms. “I want to see if you have the mindset to even be doing this.”
“The mindset?” I asked. “Come on, Carrots. I said I wanted to get healthier. That’s enough, right?”
“Wrong. Folks say that all the time. They decide on a whim that they want to eat healthier and work out more, especially for New Year's resolutions. But none of them ever really commit to what it takes to be fit. They expect it to be easy. Simple workout. Boom. Done. But we’re talking about a complete change in lifestyle here and that takes effort. So, most mammals end up quitting before they can see any real change.”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes a little. I didn’t quite get what Judy was saying.
“Look,” she grunted, annoyed by my dismissive attitude. “It comes down to this. You can say that you want to get healthy. But until you have the right mindset, you’re going to lose your way somewhere down the line and quit. This is about overcoming yourself and your body’s limits. Fitness is a mental battle more than it is a physical one. In most cases, anyway.”
Judy patted her left hip, just above her femur.
“Are you calling me stupid then?” I asked.
“I’m starting to think you are, yes,” she sighed and rubbed at her eyes. “Look...Just do some stretches for the next ten minutes. Then we’ll see what you can do. And if you’re up for this or not.”
I continued to ignore my angry stomach begging for food as I followed standard academy stretches. Typical stuff. I wasn’t sure what Judy had in mind for our beginning routine, so I stuck to an all-body focused rundown. Legs, arms, breathing exercises. The works, as my old drill sergeant used to call them. The only good thing I remembered from the old bear.
Judy sat on the nearby fence, patiently fiddling with her stopwatch.
“Ready?” she asked as I finished up. “Alright. You’re going to do sprints.”
I could already hear my stomach complaining from the lack of fuel to power my legs. Sprints were one of those things that made dying sound preferable. Judy saw the clear disgust on my face and crossed her arms.
“Don’t give me that look. See the end of the fence there? At the edge of the field?”
She pointed to where the wheat stopped. I nodded.
“From there to here is about 500 meters. That’s almost a third of a mile. You’re going to walk down there, then sprint back to me as fast as you can. Get it?”
“Got it…”
“Good. Wait for my signal once you get down there.”
Judy certainly was a lot more talkative when she was being bossy.
I hid a few grumbles as I walked the path down the field, turning to the comfort of my empty belly instead. This was probably going to result in cramps for me. I never was good at sprinting either.
When I reached the end of the road, I turned around and got into position. In the distance, Judy raised her arm with the stopwatch in paw. Go!
Dirt kicked up behind me as I scrambled forward, holding my breath as I poured all the energy I could into my legs. The initial burst of speed didn’t last long and I soon found myself slogging along the road in what couldn’t even be described as a brisk pace. All I could hear was my heartbeat as Judy grew closer and closer.
I practically slid onto the ground before her, drained and useless.
“Time,” she said, pausing the watch. “Two minutes, twenty three seconds.”
“That. Any. Good?” I asked between deep pants.
“Sure. If you’re a sloth. But if you’re a typical, medium-sized mammal, that’s nearly twice of what you should be performing. And you said you passed the academy? With that time, I’m surprised they even let you be sheriff of this podunk.”
“I gave it everything I had, Carrots. You’re asking for something I just don’t have in me…”
“Well, I’m calling you a liar,” she said, glaring down at me. “You’re not trying. You’ve never really tried at anything in your life before, have you?”
For some reason, I couldn’t answer her.
The last thing I ever expected when I took the job of sheriff for the burrow was to be chewed out by an eighteen year old rabbit for underperforming on sprinting.
“You said it yourself,” Judy had the mouth of a drill instructor, and an attitude to boot. “Your friend, Jack, was the one that got you into the police force. Did you earn this position yourself? Or was it all the other folks around you who got you in? Why do you deserve to be a cop when other mammals, who’ve worked harder for it, get denied?”
There was some spite in her words. That much I could sense, even while exhausted and gasping for air. But it wasn’t like I could argue with her about it either. There was only one thing I could say for myself.
“...It’d help,” I began between bated breaths. “If I had some breakfast.”
Judy’s ears perked up as if she heard something in the distance. Her earrings jingled in the wind as she glanced over her shoulder. A smug smile crept on her glance as she looked at the stopwatch. Her ears continued to twitch in various directions, like antennas picking up some foreign signal. She spoke again after a few moments of silence.
“Fine,” she said, reaching into her pocket. “You want food? Here. Have my apple.”
There is nothing so sweet as the sight of food to a starving mammal.
Judy pulled a shiny red apple out from her hoodie pocket, grown on her family’s farm if I had to guess. It was the most perfect, beautiful piece of fruit I had ever seen. And I could smell its freshness. That was something you only ever got with farm food. Even though I preferred blueberries, I found myself salivating at the crispness of Judy’s breakfast.
I reached up for the apple only for Judy to pull it back.
Before I could even react, she wound up and chucked the fruit as far as she could. Straight into the fields. The wheat stalks in the distance shuffled as it landed. I stared at the spot the apple fell, a good fifty meters away, and then back to Judy.
“First of all,” I started with a glare. “You throw like a bunny. Second, I’m a fox with a canine’s nose. You know I can smell the apple right? It’ll be easy to find, even in the fields.”
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Judy warned, wearing her usual worrisome smirk.
My logical side told me to heed her words of caution. But my hunger was more set on claiming some food, with my legs wobbling enough as they were. I hopped over the fence and trotted through the stalks.
As expected, the apple was easy to sniff out. I trailed along the rows of plants and found the fruit snugly burrowed in the dirt. A little bruised, but still more than edible. Though I would have eaten it even if it was covered in mold, at that point. As I shined the apple on my shirt, my ears perked up to a low rumble. But I didn’t worry until the ground started to shake.
It came to my attention that whatever it was, it was getting closer.
The sound of gears grinding into the earth and metal brushing against plants broke the harmony of the morning. A black shadow was approaching me, wide as the field itself. It slowly dawned on me what the disturbance was.
The tractor for the fields, reaping the wheat with sharp blades, descended on me while I stood there like an idiot in the middle of the rows.
My brain took longer than I’d care to admit to process the danger I was in. But once I did, I flew.
It helped that I pictured how they’d find my body at the end of this. I was imagining something out of one of those horror B-movies I’d watch with Jack. Lots of gore and guts through improper use of farm equipment. Suddenly, my hunger didn’t bother me anymore. Nor the fatigue in my legs. I think I was screaming, but it was hard to say by how fast I was going. The sound of crunching stalks behind me was all the motivation I needed to keep me moving. With my eyes on the fence to my salvation, I was practically on all fours.
I slid to a stop under the fence, dust flying everywhere in the air.
It felt like I had just made it by the width of the fur on my tail. However, a quick glance at the field showed that the tractor was still a good hundred meters behind me. The fear of getting mowed down made it sound so much closer.
To hammer home the point of how dumb I must've looked, Judy was leaning against the fence clicking her stop watch. Expecting me.
“Time. One minute twenty eight seconds. That’s a much better record.”
“You,” I managed to get out between hacking coughs as I laid on my back in the mud. “You are absolutely insane! You could have gotten me killed!”
She taunted me with the same tone of voice I gave her moments ago.
“First of all, I warned you not to go into the field. Second, you must have graduated from the bad-action movie school of running away from things. Who goes the long way when fleeing from a tractor? Dumb fox.”
“I panicked! I think that’s a perfectly reasonable excuse for almost dying!”
“But you didn’t die, did you? You pushed yourself well beyond what you told me was your best. In other words, you lied to me.”
“Of course I was able to push myself! I would have died if I hadn’t!”
“But you didn’t,” Judy repeated more fiercely. “Your problem, everyone’s problem, is that you put this artificial limit on yourself. But you’ve just proven that you’re more than capable of pushing yourself beyond whatever you think you can do. The limit doesn’t exist. Do you know how lucky you are to have a perfectly healthy body? And you waste it complaining about how hard everything is. News flash, dumb fox. Life is hard . You can lie there in the mud and whine about it, or you can get up and do something to fight back.”
Again, there was a spiteful tone in Judy’s voice as it rang in my ears. She spoke with the experience of someone well beyond her years.
But what could I even say to her in response?
It wasn’t her fault that she had been given her limp. She’d probably be right there with me, running at my side, if she was capable of it. It hurt her to see mammals squander something she longed for. Something that was stolen from her.
As I cooled my head from lying in the mud, I opened my mouth to get an apology out. Instead, Judy beat me to it with a sad sigh.
“Look, I’m sorry for putting you at risk like that. I can promise you, here and now, that I won’t ever subject you to something dangerous like that again. But, you need to step up your game. If I think you’re slacking, and I’ll know when you are, you’re going to get punished for it. Take this seriously, dumb fox. This isn’t going to be an easy ride. If you don’t think you can do it, quit right now.”
I grunted as I sat up from the mudhole. Green eyes met purple, creating sparks between us. I was being challenged and my instincts as a predator were taking over as I showed a little of my teeth.
“I can do it.”
“Then prove it.”
Judy held out her paw for me to grab and pull myself off the ground. I accepted it, but felt a hard bulb in my paws instead. She pulled away and left me with another apple in my grasp, fresher than the dirtied one in my other paw.
“Eat,” she said as she turned away. “Then we’ll start doing the real workout.”
If I ever thought the academy was hard, Judy proved me wrong. Oh, so very wrong…
With her as my trainer, I ran the gamut of everything. From squats to sprints. The focus was on my legs, for the first day. Though Judy warned me that I was to begin every morning with a three mile jog before work, set to increase as time went on. No more sleeping in for me.
While she continued to push me harder and harder until the very end of the session, I noticed that Judy developed what I was starting to mentally dub the ‘Jude Tude.’ It came in the form of her no-nonsense approach to managing me and my training. When physical activity was concerned, it was like she was a different mammal altogether in comparison to the angsty teen I had become accustomed to.
Her intensity wore down as we approached noon. That might have had to do with the fact that soon I’d be my turn to play the teacher for her, as we agreed upon yesterday. After lunch, we’d dedicate the afternoon to her learning guitar.
Fortunately for Judy, I was exhausted. No. Exhausted didn’t do it justice.
There comes a moment in every mammal’s life where you can’t really know something without experiencing it for yourself. You can’t truly complain about being thirsty if you’ve never walked through a desert without water. You can’t complain about being hungry if you’ve never starved yourself for a week. And you don’t get to talk about being wiped out until you’ve handled Judy’s workout routine.
There were honestly a few points where I think I blacked out on the walk back to the apartment. I couldn’t lift my feet more than a few inches in the air without my muscles protesting in anger. I had brief flashes of the process of getting home. First there was the street. Then the door. And then the couch.
I must have passed out, because it was an hour later when I opened my eyes again.
Judy was sitting in the armchair across the room, my guitar already in her paws. She was strumming quietly so as to not awaken me.
“If you want to nap, go ahead,” she offered, glancing up to me as I stirred. “Listen to what your body wants, dumb fox. Especially after a hard workout.”
I turned my attention to my growling gut.
“Right now, my body wants a giant blueberry pie. But I think I’m going to have to settle on salad instead if I want to keep a diet going.”
“That’s not how food works, you know. You don’t magically develop muscles by eating nothing but greens. You need protein and other vitamins to build weight.”
“So, you’re saying I should settle on meat then?”
With my hunger, that came out far more intimidating than I intended. After getting chewed out by her all morning, I had stopped looking at Judy as a bunny and more as a fellow predator. Though I sensed the comment played with her nerves slightly judging by how her nose twitched once.
She shrugged it off, not one to show fear in the face of a fox.
“Peanuts,” she replied. “Power shakes. Stuff high in protein. Invest in a proper diet to fuel yourself, or you’re not going to see much improvement. Exercising is about as much what you put into your body as what you put out.”
“Fighting the toilet humor there,” I said with a smile. “Fighting real hard.”
Fortunately, Gideon’s trove of food supplies more than had the diversity to satisfy my new diet.
The hard part was standing up to get to the kitchen. One hour of rest had caused my entire body to freeze up and it was like breaking glass just trying to move my limbs. It certainly caused Judy to chuckle as I groaned and rose from the dead. Despite the clear pain I was in, it felt good to amuse her.
It was hard to believe that just a few nights ago, she was sitting on the tracks depressed. Looking like an idiot was a small price to pay for that sliver of happiness.
I settled on an entire can of peanuts we had laying around in the cabinet. They were expired, but I didn’t care as I dumped them into my mouth. I also drank several glasses of water before sitting down with Judy. Never again was I going to forget to bring a water bottle to the workouts.
“Alright,” I said, munching on my lunch. “So, what are we going to cover today?”
“You tell me. Aren’t you supposed to be the guitar expert?”
“I’ve never claimed to be such a thing. I only said I know how to play guitar. Looks like you know how to work the strings pretty well already. You should be teaching me.”
“That wasn’t part of the deal, dumb fox. What? Are you fishing for compliments?”
“Couldn’t hurt,” I said with a smirk that stretched on for a mile.
“Come on. I even let you take a nap.”
“Right, right,” I said in a lower voice. The mention of sleep reminded me that Gideon was probably going to be resting in his bedroom at this hour. “Let’s, uh, let’s head outside. Don’t want to waste a beautiful day like this. And I’d rather not wake my roommate.”
Judy gave me a quizzical look but complied with my demands.
Playing outside was usually better, anyway. I just wasn’t in the habit of disturbing my neighbors, considering I didn’t get home to practice until after quiet hours. Something about the outdoors and music just made the melody crisper. Nature had its own soundtrack in the form of birds chirping, wind blowing, and leaves rustling. As a musician, I felt compelled to add my chorus to the mix.
We took spots at the steps to the apartment building. There wasn’t much in the way of outdoor furniture. But even solid brick felt comfortable for my sore butt as Judy settled in with her oversized instrument.
It was a beautiful day for music. The afternoon and the shade had toned down the humidity. The nearby trailer park had a few fox kits running around, playing while they had the summer off from school. There was also the steady sound of someone hammering at something, a minor construction project if I had to guess. Since coming from the city, I had slowly gotten used to the quiet of the countryside. It was one of the few things I enjoyed about the burrow. Even though, at times, it was so silent that I could drive myself crazy from thinking to myself.
“So,” said Judy as she tuned the guitar. “Where do we go from here?”
“Well,” I tried to sound as professional as I could. “You’ve caught me at a disadvantage, Carrots. Normally, it takes some time for you to get all the notes down. But you’re a special case. Like I said yesterday, it takes a lot of practice. You need to get a feel for the guitar. Get comfortable with it.”
“What kind of practice?”
“Playing songs,” I said, gesturing notes with an air guitar. “Also, you should try just holding the guitar for at least thirty minutes a day until you get comfortable with it.”
“You can’t be serious...Like, not even playing it?”
“It’s like stretching a new muscle. I’ve seen the way you’ve gripped the guitar while playing. You’re still scared you’re going to drop it again, aren’t you?”
I reached out and grabbed Judy by the shoulder. I could feel her tense up before I even put a paw on her.
“You’re straining yourself. You need to lighten up a bit, Carrots. The thing’s not going to explode if you’re being loose with it. And if you’re too rigid, you’re not going to have any rhythm.”
Judy shook her head. “I still don’t get what you’re talking about…”
“Remember that beat I mentioned earlier? Every song has a rhythm to it, something that’s like an internal guide to the flow of the music. It’s why you’ll see a lot of guitarists tapping their feet while they play. They’re using it to follow the time.”
“Okay…”
“If playing music was all about just matching the right notes, we’d just have computers do it,” I said, snapping my fingers to a random beat in my head. “It’s not programming, Carrots. And it’s not something you can just bull rush through in hopes of mastering. It’s an emotion. A feeling.”
“Feelings suck.”
It was hard not to laugh, considering Judy’s tough girl attitude that morning. I bit my lower lip to suppress my smile. This was actually more fun than playing the tough teacher, like she had done for me. Judy was just so clueless when it came to the sensitive side of things. Feelings and emotions were not her strong suit.
“Okay,” I continued to quiet my chuckling. “Let’s try this. Think of your favorite song.”
Judy rolled her eyes. “Alright, got it.”
“So, what is about the song that you like so much?”
“...The lyrics. The sounds. The guitar solo.”
“Those are only small parts of the song though,” I explained. “You’re liking a building for the pretty windows it has out front and not for the sturdy foundation holding it all together inside.”
“Well, at least my analogies don’t suck.”
“Alright. Have you ever wondered why rock bands have drummers?”
“Because...It’s fun to hit stuff and make loud noises?”
“No, you little delinquent. The job of the drummer in a band is to conduct the other members, in a sense. Typically in a rock song, it’s the drums that are used to provide the time so that everyone else knows how fast or how slow to play.”
“But I’m not playing in a band,” said Judy. “I’d never want to play in a band. I just want to know how to play on my own.”
“You still need to know how music works though. Pacing is everything in invoking feelings in music. How quick do you play? Is a fast paced guitar solo ideal for a love song?”
“Obviously not…”
“That’s why this is a hard thing to teach without just practicing,” I explained. “I can give you assignments and help with your form, but this is ultimately your own challenge. Your own battle. You’ll get what you put into your practice.”
I quickly realized that my own lesson to Judy mirrored exactly what she had been teaching me through exercise that morning. By the look in her eyes, she came to that same conclusion too.
Under her heavy black eyeliner, the seven earrings, the carrot choker, the punk rock hoodie, the shredded skirt, and black lipstick, there was the slightest evidence of a curious young rabbit in Judy. She wore the expression of someone who had just had something click in their head. Like finding a missing puzzle piece between the seat of a sofa.
“Practice, huh?” she asked as she moved her paws up and down the frets.
“If only so you loosen up a bit,” I replied, reaching out for her shoulder again. This time, she didn’t tense to my touch. “It’s not about how smart or how determined you are with music. It’s all your heart.”
She shrugged me off, though I detected the slightest smirk on her face. By her posture, I could tell that she was preparing to play. I leaned back, arms crossed, to watch what she could do.
She was experimenting with the notes, paws traveling up and down to match different pitches. No order or no rhythm to it. But she was getting closer. With each little twang of the strings, she was learning and creating something that she wanted to hear. It was slow, at first. But when she found the notes she was looking for, her ears twitched and she picked up her pace.
It was faint, but it was growing. A steady beat of only a few chords. It was simple and basic, but it was rhythm. I looked down and watched at her feet as her pace increased. She was tapping to the music, keeping time to the beat.
How to describe how I felt? Accomplished?
I felt like I had given a successful lesson. Even though Judy had plenty of slip ups in her music, she was fast getting the hang of it. Scarily, in fact. I had spent at least sixty hours on the guitar to get to where she was in less than six. Even though I had said it wasn’t about determination when it came to music, Judy’s razor sharp focus certainly wasn’t a detriment to her lessons. In a month’s time, I could see myself running out of things to even teach her. She’d be better than me at the rate she was going.
Judy’s music did not go unnoticed by the folks around us.
Across the yard, the fox kits who had been playing stopped to listen. They braved the walk past the border along the trailer park and made their way towards the building, keeping low to the grass like we couldn’t see them. Judy was a bit involved in her music to notice them, so I cleared my throat.
“You have an audience.”
Judy looked confused for a moment until her ears perked at the fox kits across the grass. Upon seeing the children, her ears immediately lowered.
“Not a fan of kits, Carrots?”
She didn’t answer me and just kept to the guitar, trying to ignore them all while wearing a worrisome frown.
“Come on, they’re not going to bite,” I said, turning my attention to them and raising my paw in a wave.
I heard the kits giggle at my acknowledgement of their presence. I nudged Judy to get her to do the same. They were just a bunch of curious kids, after all. Judy sighed and stopped playing. I recognized a forced smile anywhere as she waved to the little foxes.
My smirk vanished when I heard the whispers from the kits.
“That’s her, right?”
“Stay away from her, she’ll bite your ear off.”
“What’s she even doing here?”
“Yeah, this is our home.”
“Yeah, for foxes only.”
“She’s a freak.”
“Yeah, a freak.”
I winced. If I could pick up the kits’ words with my ears, there was no question that a rabbit like Judy could hear them loud and clear.
She handled it better than I would have with my smart mouth. I might have risen up to scare off the kits if they were talking about me like that within earshot. Judy, instead, returned her attention to the music, pretending the kits didn’t exist. She didn’t even give them a look to suggest that she had heard them.
After a few more minutes of mindless chatter amongst the kits, they grew bored of trying to taunt Judy and returned to their play back in their own yard. When Judy was sure the kits were gone, she spoke to me again.
“People are always saying stuff like that about me. Especially foxes.”
My ears were pressed low against my head. It occurred to me that this was the first time I had really been alone with Judy when another mammal was within earshot. It was one thing to hear bad rumors about her from gossip. Quite another thing to witness public degradation. And from children, no less.
Suddenly, Judy’s words on the train tracks were making a lot more sense to me.
“It bothers you,” I said, not taking my eyes off Judy to look for some sign of reaction.
She gave me nothing but a soft huff. “It used to.”
Jack’s old mantra rang in my ears. “Never let them see they get to you…”
“They started judging me after I...Attacked that one fox. Bunnies aren’t supposed to act like that, they said. I don’t know. I just lost control. He said something horrible to me. Something I won’t ever forgive him for. I tried to ignore it for a while after the incident. You know, just pretend like it never happened. But folks talked, even when they knew I was listening to them. After a while, there just didn’t seem to be a point to ever try to be normal for them. If they weren’t going to give me a second chance, why should I ever try to be what they expect me to be?”
“...But there’s nowhere you can really run when trapped in the burrows.”
Judy struck the wrong chord on the guitar and grumbled a curse.
“I don’t expect you to understand,” she said as she collected herself to start from the top. “But I’d rather die than ever try to be normal like them. And deal with the constant whispers behind my back. Instead, I’d rather give them something to talk about.”
“No, trust me. I get it, Carrots.” More than she could probably realize.
She shifted in her seat. “Well...Good.”
Despite the sour note with the kits, it was a good idea to come outside to play. The soft sound of music mingled perfectly with the afternoon air, even going so far as to drown out the children screaming in the distance.
A perfect mid-July summer day. But tomorrow it would be back to work again.
Chapter 15: Track 15: “What’s My Age Again?”
Notes:
Early update! Enjoy a short taste of what's to come between these two and hope you all have a good/safe weekend!
Chapter Text
“You gotta have better things to do with your Monday morning.”
“There some sort of problem with me being here, dumb fox?”
I rolled my eyes a bit, crossing my arms and using the door frame of the police station as a support while Judy sat at the front steps of the building. She had already scared Hank off with her mere presence this morning, like a spooky punk scarecrow. He had turned in the complete other direction at first sight of her when he came up the parking lot.
“How about loitering?” I asked.
“Am I impeding your place of business?”
“Not exactly. Though you did manage to frighten away my deputy.”
“Am I gambling, masking my presence, at a school, handling illegal drugs, or soliciting sexual intercourse?”
“I certainly hope not.”
“Then I ain’t illegally loitering if I’m in a public place,” Judy replied, flicking her cigarette with her tongue in my direction. “The police station is owned by the city in the same way a park is. So long as I’m not inside the building, sitting my butt right here is perfectly legal. Or do you want me to recite the entire amendment for my civil rights as an adult citizen of the city-state of Zootopia and its provinces?”
From what I had learned of Judy the past few days, she wasn’t bluffing in memorizing her constitutional amendments. And I was way, way too tired to argue with her following a grueling morning workout.
If it wasn’t for the doorway propping me up, I’d probably be facedown on the ground with my ankles feeling like hot rubber. Round two of leg day was even worse than the first, with the fatigue setting in and only a stomach full of muscle milk for food. Judy had been keen to remind me that the blueberry mixture I had ingested was not an appetite suppressant, and I was sure to be famished come lunch. And with my diet, snacks were not allowed until then.
Judy was content to be sitting in the morning light on our office’s stoop with her gas station coffee in one paw and my cellphone playing games in her other. Given it was only nine in the morning, I couldn’t begin to guess what she was still doing following me after my workout.
“Seriously, Carrots,” I said, putting my paws in my pocket. “Why are you here? We agreed to guitar practice at six, after I got home.”
“I’m beating my high score,” she muttered in response, not even glancing up from the phone.
I sighed, knowing I probably wasn’t going to get a better answer than that.
“Okay, fine. You don’t have to tell me. Just stay out of trouble if you’re waiting out here. Alright?”
She mumbled something in response and bobbed her head up and down. I turned and limped back to my desk, leaving the screen door between us. Despite Judy’s presence outside, it was nice to have quiet in the office without Hank blaring the TV. It certainly made my paperwork easier.
Humphrey couldn’t erase everything from the crash. There was still damage done to the side of the highway, and the farmer who owned the crushed tree had filed a report. The state police had removed the car and the debris, while leaving the tree scuffed up. The farmer could potentially press charges, if he wanted to. Typical stuff. Utterly dull and simple damage detail. But sorely needed, considering my mindset. In fact, I was surprised I was even functional.
Maybe Judy was right in that I just never truly pushed myself before. But I was definitely nearing some sort of limit. I could feel it in the way I closed my eyes and lost track of the minutes. The words on my paper were a jumble of gibberish that I could just barely understand and my legs had turned to jelly. I used every excuse to not stand up from my desk. I was even ignoring the desperate nature’s call from all the water I had been drinking. 8 bottles, every single day, according to Judy.
It was hard to say if progress had been made exercising or not, but I didn’t regret a minute of it all. Underneath the fatigue was the deepest sensation of satisfaction. The sort only an honest day’s work could give. Even though the day was just starting, it was looking to be a beautiful one indeed.
For the first time since I came to the burrow, I was almost content being in my office.
Outside, Judy was humming some song I couldn't place. She let out a surprised noise at the sound of a soft jingle that sounded vaguely recognizable.
“Hello?” said Judy to no one in particular.
“Yeah, this is his number. Who’s speaking?”
It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize someone had called her. On my cell phone. Though I didn’t put that last bit together until I heard Judy drop a literal bombshell on my head.
“Oh, his mom?”
Mother’s mere mention sent an awful chill down my spine and I commanded my legs to rise, despite angry protests downstairs. When I reached the front door, Judy gave me a knowing smirk and held up the phone for me to take from her. I dreaded answering it and debated if hanging up might be a safer solution. But I decided against the cowardly thought and answered with a sigh.
“Hi, mom.”
Even over the line, I could actually hear the coy smirk at her lips. Women...I swear. Always trying to insist there’s something there when there isn’t.
“...So, who was that?”
I shut her down immediately. “We are not having this conversation here.”
“Oh, ho. I see. Well, I want to hear all the juicy details later. I just need to know if she’s cute or not.”
I sighed. “Mom, I’m at work.”
“Alright, alright. Spoilsport. I just wanted to talk. And Jack told me you were usually bored at work, so I figured this would be a good time to call you.”
Leave it to Jack to open his big mouth.
Not that I was against giving mom calls—I had missed our weekend catch up after the car crash—But my mother could be a bit overzealous when it came to prying for information. In fact, I hadn’t even heard from Jack since our little spat over texts on Saturday.
I looked over to my report at my desk, limping as I took my seat. If I was being honest with myself, there really wasn’t much left to even call it a job. Even with Judy leering up at me from the stoop, confident she had gotten me into some sort of trouble, I could probably break from work for a few minutes.
“...Alright,” I said over the phone. “I got a little time. What’s up?”
“Oh, I just figured we’d catch up. I missed you this weekend…”
Mom was definitely smart enough to put together why I hadn’t called her. She was using the same tone of voice from when I was a kit and I had gotten into trouble at school. I decided to make it sound more professional than it actually was.
“Well, I was working.”
“Jack mentioned that too. Told me all about a car crash. Is everything alright?”
“Looking over the paperwork for it now,” I said, reciting the last thing Humphrey told me. “It’ll probably be a footnote in the Zootopia papers soon enough, I’m sure. The driver’s fine. The car got totaled though. And last I heard, the only passenger injured has just woken up in the hospital. She’s in a neck brace with a few broken bones and a concussion.”
At the steps, I heard Judy huff as she played invisible bongos with her coffee. I suppose it was unreasonable to ask for any sympathy from her, given her relationship with the victims. I gave her a glare to tell her to cool it and she rolled her eyes at me.
“Sounds absolutely harrowing.”
“I wasn’t there for the worst of it, but yeah.”
Why did I get the feeling that mom knew all that already? It was in the way she was talking to me. Something I wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t grown up with her.
It clicked when I turned my attention back to Judy.
“Jack told you everything already, huh?”
“...He may have let a few details slip, yes. He also mentioned, uh, your encounter with the mayor’s daughter.”
“Mom…”
“I know, I know. It’s not like I asked him to tell me everything, sweetie. But after he stopped by yesterday, it sounded like you two were fighting. So, I figured I had to call to make sure everything was alright.”
“We’re fine,” I stated firmly.
It wasn’t the first time Jack and I had a disagreement. With the disconnect between his own family, it really was like he was my older brother the way we shared mom for our problems.
“But what he told me was true. You’re hanging around that Judy girl? That was her picking up the phone, right?”
There was another heavy sigh from me as I grasped at my forehead, fighting the headache that was slowly building. It was true I had spent more time that weekend with Judy than with Jack. But what sort of silly ideas was Jack filling my mom’s head with?
“I mean...Yeah, but—”
“Oh, my…”
“Mom, it’s not like that…”
“I’m not judging, sweetie. It’s perfectly okay with me if you decide to date someone younger than you. I go after the college boys all the time, so it’s safe to say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“Mom!”
Judy was trying to control her giggling on the steps. I had a feeling she wouldn’t be laughing so hard if she knew the context of mom’s conversation with me.
“Okay, okay. I’ll stop teasing you. But if she’s not a romantic interest, then what is she to you? Jack certainly thinks she has you in her clutches.”
“Of course he does…”
“It reminds me of you two and prom. That argument over that one girl. You may want to have a talk with him to set the record straight.”
“I was trying to do that. He didn’t mention anything about...You know.”
“You know what Jack’s like. He doesn’t like to expose himself or his feelings. Comes with the relationship he’s had with his father. He’s just worried about you and showing it in his own bad way.”
“And you’re not worried?”
“Sweetie, I’m your mother. I’m always worried. I was worried about you after the scouts. I was worried after your rejection for prom. And I was worried for you after failing the academy the first time. But I also respect your independence. You need to make your own mistakes in order to find your own success.”
“Well...Isn’t that zen-like of you to say?”
“I’ve been having a lot of takeout with fortune cookies lately.”
I eased back into the door frame, glancing at Judy again. She was making me think of the other rabbit in my life.
When you’ve been friends with someone for a while, you tend to know the gamut of how they’re going to react to something. And Jack and I had been best friends for over sixteen years. If I thought about it long enough, it made some sense. Jack was worried for me, and maybe he actually was a bit jealous of Judy this time around. It probably would just make matters worse if I mentioned she was handling my training regime.
But, being such old friends, I knew once Jack slipped into a state of concern it was hard to shake him out of it. It came in handy with his work, a laser-targeted focus that blocked him out from all other distractions and kept him focused on his job. When it came to his personal life, however, it was like chipping at an iron wall to get through to him. He had decided Judy was dangerous. End of story.
“Alright. I’ll try talking to him,” I explained. “With what good it will do.”
“Just so you know that he’s not doing it to be a pain in your tail.”
“Well, he is. But I get what you mean.”
It was nice to hear mom laugh. I didn’t get to hear that very much anymore.
“Okay, I won’t keep you from work. We can talk more this weekend, provided you don’t get held up with another accident.”
“I certainly hope not.”
“I love you.”
“Love you too.”
Judy continued to look pleased with herself as I wrapped up the call with my mom. She had a stupid buck-toothed grin as I limped over to drop the cellphone off in her lap.
“She seems nice.”
“Laugh it up, Carrots,” I groaned as I collapsed back into the sweet comfort of my chair. “You’ll get yours eventually.”
The universe continued to have a funny way of playing jokes on us.
The moment I sat down, the office phone rang. With my legs in the condition they were, I was in no mood to be doing any running around. Especially with Hank having disappeared. There were still my duties of being a cop that prompted me to answer.
“Bunnyburrow Police Department.”
“I’m assuming I’m speaking to Officer Wilde?”
I recognized the voice of the mayor almost instantly to the point where it was rather insulting that he still couldn’t place my own voice yet despite the many, many conversations we had already had. I masked my frustration with the usual pleasant professionalism one would expect from a police sheriff.
“Yes, sir, Mayor Hopps.”
Judy’s ears perked up from outside. I caught the briefest glance over her shoulder, though her expression was hidden by the shadows of the sun.
“I was wondering if you happened to know where my daughter, Judy, was.”
“She’s sitting on the stoop of the station, sir.”
“Ah. And might I ask, as her father, why she’s currently in your custody?”
“She’s not, sir. She’s here of her own volition.”
“She’s there by choice then? Tell me, Officer Wilde. Do you think it’s appropriate for a professional place of work, like a police station, to have an unauthorized eighteen year old lounging around it?”
I winced, knowing that if I tried to explain I had already attempted to dissuade Judy he probably wouldn’t believe me.
“...No, sir.”
“Do you want this to be strike two?”
“No, sir.”
“Then can you please put her on the line? I’d like to speak with her.”
I was hard pressed to deny him that, especially since I had no desire to be on the other end of his ire. Gladly, I strained to rise from my seat for a third time in the span of ten minutes and shuffled my way to Judy. Her nose twitched as I gave her the phone.
I could only listen to her side of the conversation and put the pieces together.
“Hi, dad…”
“What? No!”
“Dad, it’s not like that at all!”
“Yes, I know he’s a fox...I’m not blind.”
Ouch. That one stung me a bit as I continued to watch Judy from the door, arms crossed over my chest.
“Yeah, I remember.”
“...Well, I don’t see how that matters.”
“Dad! I’m just helping him—”
“I’m eighteen! You can’t just—”
Ah, the good old I’m X years old now and you’re not the boss of me argument. It didn’t work for me with my mom back when I was in high school and I couldn’t see it working for Judy either by how she was palming her face.
“Alright, alright, alright! Fine! I’ll be home soon…”
“...Bye.”
Judy thrusted both phones into my paws. I held it to my ear only to hear a dead line.
“Parents suck,” she said.
“I should start keeping a tally of what you think sucks, Carrots. I’d have a book-sized list by the end of the week.”
“You suck too.”
I huffed a laugh. “Want me to call back Hank to give you a lift?”
“No...I’ll walk.”
Judy rose from her seat and made for the door. She hesitated before leaving the station.
After hanging up the phone, I slouched back into place. Funny how two simple phone calls can make a bad morning worse. Though I should have been thankful for the mayor’s warning. This was my job, not a place for babysitting. And I was lucky I was getting away with just a slap on the wrist. I suppose it was a favor for looking out for Judy last Friday night.
With a grimace, I returned my attention to the report at my desk. Back to work without any more distractions.
With Judy’s absence, the day was relatively quiet.
Paperwork was finished with ease and I was suffering from what amounted to rigor mortis following my building morning routines. Judy had promised we would be switching things up the next day. Two days of legs. Two days of arms. Two days of core. One day of rest. Repeat.
It was supposed to get easier with time. But at that moment, I felt like a corpse being puppeted from place to place with string. 6 PM could not roll around quicker. I wanted nothing more than to pass out in bed after filling my belly with some sort of dinner. Protein. Protein was important, according to Judy. And the fatigue did much to make me feel old.
Unfortunately, most of what Gideon had scrambled together for us in the fridge was either greasy fried foods, sweet desserts, or leftover takeout. I settled on a can of old beans in the cabinet.
That’s when I noticed Gideon’s sticky note.
“Hey N. My name plate got removed from the mailbox. Know where it is? G.”
I patted the pocket of my police uniform, where I had kept the metal plate since the night when Judy visited.
What to do about Gideon and Judy was still a topic of conflict in my mind. If she was going to keep her visits on schedule, it felt inevitable that they would meet. Though given their last encounter ended with missing body appendages, a new conversation would have to be handled delicately. Not to mention, I had still given Gid my word I wouldn’t drop that on her. I decided it was for the best that the two didn’t meet. At least, for a little while longer. Though he needed to be told so we could decide where to go from there.
I scribbled down my reply.
“Long story. We need to talk. N.”
As I slumped into the couch with my microwaved bowl of beans, I reveled in the quiet for once.
It occurred to me that since Friday, I had been going nonstop on eleven.
From the mayor’s party, to the car crash, to the train tracks, to the extensive exercise training, to Judy and her guitar lessons.
Just a month ago, I had thought I had a handle on all life was going to throw at me down in the burrows. Simple quiet job—9 to 6—In a town where nothing interesting ever happened. That was what a career was meant to be, right? That was what folks went to school and college to graduate for. That’s what people wanted to be comfortable with. To live with. Just a few short days was all it took to completely shake the status quo I had made for myself.
I should have been hugely uncomfortable with such drastic change in a short time span.
A decision made on a dime to swap up lifestyles. To push myself harder than I ever had or ever wanted to try before. Something I never expected myself to be. A fitness nut, with a long road ahead of me. The fox who had barely passed his academy physical training wanting to be the next recruit for the ZPD. Much different from the busker wandering the streets with no sense of direction the years before the academy.
So, why was I content with that change?
Because it was my ticket home.
Mayor Hopps’ phone call was a bitter reminder of just how unwelcome I was in the burrows. Strike two, indeed. This was no home of mine. Heck, my time here was already straining my relationship with my lifelong best friend. Buttering up the mayor was clearly not going to work as an alternative. If this is what I had to become to get the first train out of here, I’d have to jump for it. No matter how high the leap was.
My beans had grown cold when the knock came at my door.
I was content to sit at the sofa, not eager to stand up again and answer whoever had come by at this hour. Maybe if I ignored whoever it was, they would go away. Though I had a hunch on who my guest was when they started to fiddle with the lock. Following the cranking of a few gears, I watched the door give way to Judy, standing by with her paws at the knob.
“We have got to get that lock fixed,” I said.
“Yeah,” she replied with a smirk at her face. “Real easy to jimmy open. Are you trying to keep me out?”
“Not particularly. I just wasn’t expecting you after the mayor called this morning. Figured you were grounded or something.”
“First of all, shut up. Second, I would have been here sooner but dinner went on for later than I expected it to. Hard to slip away when you need to be at the table with everyone.”
I could only imagine the headcount processes for dinner with a family of three hundred rabbits. Suddenly, my lonely snack of cold beans sounded much more appealing, even as I put them to the side.
“So,” I continued, smiling because I already knew the answer to my question. “Why are you breaking into my home?”
“Duh. To have my guitar lesson for the day. That was the deal, dumb fox. I’ll be your trainer, you be my teacher. Every. Single. Day.”
“Sounds like your father doesn’t approve of you hanging around me.”
“So? Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve disobeyed him.”
“I don’t like the thought of losing my job though.”
“Well, we’re not at your job. Are we? Hard to complain with what either of us does in our free time.”
“Pushing technicalities there. Aren’t we, Carrots?”
I didn’t think I’d ever, in my life, find a little bunny girl intimidating. Perhaps it was the fact that I knew I wasn’t at one hundred percent with my bum legs. But the look of contempt Judy gave me could chill boiling water as she grabbed me by the tie.
“Listen, you dumb fox. You’ve been trying to get rid of me all day. I snuck out of my room to be here and learn to play guitar. We already did your training for today, and you are not going to run your mouth to get out of this one. Got it?”
“Got it,” I mumbled, feeling rather whipped as she released me. “So, we’re just going to continue this in secret then?”
“Dad needs to manage the townhall early in the morning. So, I can come by at 6 AM without anyone noticing I’m gone. Then, I can sneak out at night after dinner when you get off from work to continue our guitar lessons.”
“And what happens when someone finds out where you’ve been going?”
“They won’t,” Judy crossed her arms. “I’ve been around the burrow enough to know how to not get caught.”
I rolled my eyes, though I knew from experience that Judy had a point of being hard to find. Though that wasn’t comforting as a police officer. Even if she was eighteen, I wasn’t entirely comfortable with her sneaking out to be here.
“You need to let someone know,” I said with an authoritative tone. “What would happen if you got hurt on the way here?”
“You sound like a pansy.”
“Carrots…”
“Fine, fine,” she growled, facing away from me. “I’ll let my mom know I’m going out to learn guitar. She won’t ask questions or tell dad. I’ll even give her your number. Good enough?”
I sighed. It still sounded sketchy, which made me question the type of friends Judy normally hung around with. But it was better than nothing.
“Good enough…”
Judy wasted no more words with me and went straight for my guitar, propped in the corner of the living room. She took her seat at the armchair in the other corner of the apartment, which no longer felt so empty and dark.
“Then let’s get started,” she said.
Chapter 16: Track 16: “The Girl All the Bad Guys Want”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
There was one big thing I wasn’t looking forward to the next day. And, no, it wasn’t Judy’s workout routine. That wasn’t half bad with the switch to arms over legs. I was already very familiar with push ups and chin ups aren’t that hard when you’re a stick.
What I was dreading was a phone call with a certain other rabbit.
With the cruiser parked on the main street of the burrow, I sat in the driver seat with my cellphone in one paw and a scrap of paper in the other. It was a napkin borrowed from the gas station that Judy used to scribble her home phone number on when we stopped by for breakfast. While she enjoyed a greasy egg sandwich, I had to be content with chowing down on a cup full of healthy wheat cereal. The napkin was still stained with oil, taunting my growling stomach.
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Judy. Okay, I can’t say that with a straight face.
Given how hesitant she was to part with the number, I knew she wasn’t keen on telling her parents what she got up to in her free time. Though she promised she would tell her mother about her guitar lessons, I wouldn’t have put it past her to conveniently let it slip her mind. And I had to be the adult in the situation, especially as a police officer.
I just wasn’t sure what to expect with the wife of the mayor who threatened to fire me on a regular basis.
I had never seen Judy’s mother around the burrow before. I knew her name was Bonnie and that she was a bit of a housewife. That was it though. No clue what she looked like. No inkling of her personality or if she held her husband’s disdain of foxes. I was given a blank, white sheet of paper with a phone number on it and told to go nuts with it. And I knew I had to be careful with what I held in my paw. Judy wasn’t the only one reluctant to reveal our lessons. Especially if it involved her father, of all mammals. His warning to me over the phone the other day still burned fresh in my mind. Chances were, if Bonnie knew who I was, she would tell the mayor and I would be in trouble again. That would be strike three.
So, what I was really doing sitting in my police cruiser on lunch break was figuring out how to approach the situation.
Thankfully, over the phone meant Bonnie wouldn’t know I was a fox. And I didn’t technically have to reveal I was the sheriff to her given it wasn’t a call regarding police work, though I would confirm it if she asked. All she needed to know was who I was and where Judy was going every night. And that Bonnie could use my cellphone number to reach me at any time.
I was Nick Wilde, a simple guitar teacher living in the apartment complex near Foxburrow.
Introduce yourself. State your intent. Give your address in case of emergencies. Move on after answering any questions. You didn’t have to chit chat, Nick. Just give her the basics. Comfort her and let her know her daughter was safe.
With that procedure in mind, I sighed and dialed the number.
The line rang once.
And rang again.
By the third ring, I had the terrible thought of what I would do if the mayor had picked up instead of Bonnie.
By the fourth ring, my carefully constructed plan had gone out the window and I was strongly considering hanging up and trying again later.
The phone didn’t get to a fifth ring.
“Hello?”
The voice on the other end was sweet and innocent. I quickly realized it wasn’t the mayor that had picked up, given the softness of the rabbit’s tone. In fact, I was confident I wasn’t even speaking to an adult with the slight lisp to the speaker’s greeting.
“Hey there,” I said with a smile.
When you’re talking to someone on the phone and trying to sound pleasant, it’s best to smile while you speak. They can hear it over the line. Especially children.
“Is your mother there?”
I waited for the typical chain of events.
The child pulled the phone from their ear and shouted at the top of their lungs, “ Mom! ”
Then came the footsteps of them wandering around the house looking for their parents. Then the shuffling of the phone changing paws.
A female voice answered the line next, definitely older sounding. But also tired. Though not strained. It was a mother’s voice and I could almost hear the stress in all the times she would have to raise her tone around her kids.
“Hello? Can I help you?”
Two seconds of silence over the phone was dangerous. With no face to see, the other mammal can’t tell what your expressions are or if you hung up on them. I commanded myself to remember my plan and say something before I wasted anymore of the bunny mom’s valuable time.
“Uh, hello. My name’s Nick Wilde. I was wondering if we might be able to speak for a moment.”
“Nick Wilde…,” her voice trailed away, making me fearful she had heard my name before from her husband. “Oh! Judy told me about you. The one she’s going to for guitar lessons.”
I was both grateful that my reputation as the sheriff hadn’t extended to the mayor’s immediate family and impressed that Judy actually kept her word in telling her mom about me. I supposed there was one good thing about being known as “the fox sheriff” around town.
I let out a slight laugh and eased into conversation.
“Yes, ma’am. Just wanted to touch base with you and make sure Judy is alright to be coming over for practice.”
“Oh, of course! You know, you’re the first one of her friends to actually have the decency to give us a call on her whereabouts.”
My laugh morphed into an awkward chuckle. “I, uh, don’t know if she’d consider us friends, per say…”
“Regardless,” she shrugged off my words like they meant nothing. “I think it’s great that she’s out doing something productive instead of moping around the town all day. Thank you for reaching out to me.”
“It’s no trouble at all ma’am, just doing my duty.”
I bit my tongue, worried that might sound a bit too professional. But Bonnie found it amusing enough, judging by her chuckle.
“There’s no need to be so formal, Mr. Wilde. This was very thoughtful of you and you didn’t have to. Sometimes I forget she’s eighteen and can take care of herself.”
Her voice trailed on the other line, like there was a question on her lips.
“Can I ask you something, Mr. Wilde?”
“Certainly.”
“Does Judy seem...Happier to you?”
The inquiry gave me enough pause that Bonnie continued speaking.
“I apologize. I don’t know how long you’ve known her, so maybe it’s the sort of thing you wouldn’t notice. I just...Worry about her. Especially after what happened between her and that boy. Andrew.”
“Yeah...I, uh, heard about that.”
“I’m glad she dumped him. He was a very careless boy and I’ve heard awful things about the crowd he hangs around. But when he came for her that night...Drunk. I didn’t know what to do. ”
“You did what you thought was right,” I recalled that it had been Bonnie who contacted Stu that night and set events in motion.
“We try our best to protect her. Protect all our children. The burrows can be a dangerous place, as I’m sure you’re aware. But Judy has always been independent. Even before her accident. It’s impossible to tell her what to do. It always has me worried, especially when I can’t do anything to help her.”
I frowned, hearing a bit of my own mom in Bonnie’s words.
“Stu didn’t want to tell me what happened that night. How Judy got home safely. But I heard the rumors through the grapevine. About the crash on Route 6. It has the other bunny families in a scurry, especially with that girl who got hurt. It’s selfish of me to be relieved that it wasn’t Judy in the car. But I have no one to thank. Someone was looking out for her that night. Someone got her home safely to us, even if Stu doesn’t want to tell me anything.”
Her voice lingered.
I almost wondered if, at that exact moment, she knew who I really was.
But then she spoke again.
“I’m sorry,” I heard her wipe her nose. “Here I am being all emotional and we’ve just met. You have a very comfortable personality. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“Oh...Uh, maybe my mother…”
“I can see why Judy likes you.”
My tongue went as dry as the mini-wheat cereal I had for breakfast. “Like might still be too strong a word, ma’am. I’m just her teacher.”
“Well, whatever you want to call it, she seems happier. And that’s enough for me. She mentioned keeping this a secret from her father…”
“Yes. I, uh, live in the apartment building near Foxburrow. Near the trailer park. And I know the, erm, area is rather unsavory for a rabbit at night.”
“And she’s worried Stu won’t let her visit you,” Bonnie finished my line of logic. “Well, she’s not wrong. The nearby trailer park is supposed to be for foxes only. And I don’t think they’d take kindly to seeing her around there.”
“If you’re uncomfortable with her being around me, ma’am…”
“You seem like a trustworthy buck, Mr. Wilde. More than I can say for any of the other kits she’s hung around in the past. It’s a dangerous area of the burrow, but if you’re checking in with me when she arrives and leaves everyday, I’m fine with it. She’s old enough now to be on her own. And there would be no stopping her if I forbad it, anyway.”
“I suppose you’re right…”
Bonnie laughed. “It sounds like she gives you as much trouble as she does me.”
“To an extent.”
Our conversation continued on into the usual formalities, with me sending Bonnie my address and phone number to write down. I programmed her number into my phone and we were in business. We wrapped up our brief conversation within the span of five minutes.
“Keep in touch, Mr. Wilde,” she finished. “And do try and stop by sometime. I’d love to meet you, face to face, over a cup of carrot tea.”
I chuckled at the thought of a fox like me entering a burrow of unsuspecting bunnies. By the end of our talk, I wasn’t even sure Bonnie realized I even was a fox.
“We’ll have to see. Take care.”
When the call dropped, I slumped back into my seat like I had run a marathon.
All in all, it went better than I expected it to. It was safe to say Judy had more of her mother in her, in terms of her agreeable side. At least, compared to her father. No threats of being fired on top of the stereotypical stay away from my daughter speeches. We could continue our practices with some peace of mind. And Bonnie sounded more than happy to keep things quiet from her husband. Saves me my job, at least…
Bonnie was a nice enough rabbit, based on my first impressions of her. A busybody, but kind. Very close to my own mother in some ways, though I doubt mom would have the patience to deal with three hundred children. She often joked that one of me was enough, and that was before Jack came along. Like my mom, Bonnie worried about her children. She was a normal parent with normal fears.
My smirk ran away from my face as I thought about one thing Bonnie mentioned. About the night of Friday’s car accident.
Things had quieted down around the burrow since the weekend. In part from the end of the Founder’s Day parties. But mostly because of the kits, or lack thereof. Summer had set in, full force. But instead of seeing kids running around in the fields playing with hoses and water balloons, there was no one outside. Not even a lemonade stand on the side streets. It was quiet. Too quiet, as someone who had seen a lot of movies would say. The older part of me blamed technology for keeping kids indoors, but I silenced him in risk of sounding ancient.
And the quiet didn’t last long.
“Hey, Nick,” chimed Hank over the radio, breaking me from my trance. “We got a report from the Durt family about a buck hanging around outside their property.”
I raised an eyebrow before responding. “The who?”
“The Durts. You know? The family whose daughter got into the car accident last Friday?”
I cringed. Admittedly I hadn’t been giving the afflicted rabbit much thought after hanging out with Judy all week. That wasn’t fair, given no one deserved to get into a car accident. I should have recognized the name given I had been reading the reports all of yesterday.
“Right. What’s the situation, deputy?”
“Nothing violent. The father simply asked the kid to vacate their property. The buck obeyed but now he’s waiting around the street in front of their house. He’s technically in his rights to be doing that on public property. But the family just wanted to make sure he didn’t start pounding at their door.”
“This the boyfriend?” I asked, though I already had a hunch that was the case.
“Didn’t ask. I’d probably expect as much though. Just head on down there and try to convince him to leave them alone. Let me know if things get violent.”
That was a laugh. From what I remember about Andrew he was the most passive rabbit I had ever met, given my two encounters with him. If he had been drinking though…
“I’ll check it out. Might need to ready the drunk tank though.”
Bunnyburrow had its own share of divides even amongst the rabbits, as Hank had taught me.
While plenty made their living as carrot farmers, and owned the largest property as a result, there were those who managed the other businesses which kept the town flourishing outside of farming. These were the shop owners and the business managers. The lot of them were restaurant owners, construction workers, school teachers, and even a lawyer in the case of the Durts. They couldn’t all live on farms that expanded on for acres as far as the eye could see.
That section of town was the most populated area near the train station, and it looked closer to suburbs. Though smaller than the vast farms to the north, it still put the trailer park outside my apartment to shame in its scale and layout. These rabbits actually had two-story houses to their name, in the old ranch-style. A few of the richer ones lived in literal burrows underground, the older styled homes.
The Durts had a much more modern place of rest. I supposed being the only lawyer in town brought in some decent money. Enough to afford a white, three-story house, complete with a pool. The fancy cars out in the driveway, leading into a four-car garage made me painfully aware of just how little money I made as the town sheriff. I imagined the area hadn’t ever even seen a fox wandering around it before and I didn’t intend to linger.
It wasn’t hard to track Andrew down, given the clown suit he was wearing. Even a mole would be able to spot him lingering around one of the trees outside the Durt property. Surprisingly, he looked sober. Perhaps it was too early in the day for him. He didn’t hear the cruiser approach behind him until I cleared my throat with the window rolled down.
“Doesn’t look like you’re setting up any lemonade stands.”
The clown jolted from his pose and spun around to meet me with fearful wide eyes. All bravado and no substance. It was hard to see what Judy ever saw in a guy like him.
“You,” said Andrew as he stammered to collect himself.
I didn’t know if I should be honored or repulsed that the buck recognized me from our few brief encounters. It was safe to say that my bad cop act with Humphrey had gartered me enough respect to be feared. Though I hid my contradicting emotions about the rabbit with a neutral glower and my usual smarm.
“That’s me, Sheriff You. You can just call me The Sheriff though. Don’t want the other rabbits to think you’re privileged being on a last name basis with me.”
“I, um, yeah…”
I let out a slight sigh. Judy would probably get a chuckle out of my dumb humor. But jokes like that were wasted on this rabbit.
“What are you doing here, Mr. Lepp?” I asked to change the topic to something more serious.
“I, uh, I wanted to see Jess.”
I was actually surprised to hear that the rabbit girl had gotten out of the hospital so quickly. According to my reports, Jessica Durt still had her neck brace and would be recovering for some time. I wagered that her father had pulled some strings to get her out early and to the comfort of her own home. It certainly looked like they could afford any equipment or medicine she might need, but I wasn’t there to judge. Maybe they’re too good for the general hospital scene.
“Well, it doesn’t sound like she wants to see you,” I replied. “Her father gave us a call and said you were disturbing the peace.”
He gulped. “You’re going to arrest me?”
“That’s not how this works. I’m just here to make sure you don’t do anything stupid and maybe even convince you to leave the family alone.”
Andrew frowned at that statement and glanced over to the house before returning my gaze.
“Yeah...Yeah, okay.”
Well, that was easier than I thought it was going to be. First a successful talk with Bonnie and now this. I briefly wondered if I should buy lottery tickets before noting another change in Andrew’s behavior. He looked down at his feet much in the way a scolded child might. The briefest sensation of pity betrayed me and caused me to run my mouth.
“Need a ride home?”
I hoped with all my heart that he would decline. I could still remember the night of Friday where we found the rabbit more torn up about his car than his new squeeze. Little had changed about him, besides the lack of alcohol on his person. That was surprising, given his mopey attitude.
“Sure...Thanks, man.”
I kept a neutral appearance as I opened the passenger door for Andrew to crawl into.
“Where to?” I asked in the dullest tone I could manage.
“The, uh, the other side of the suburbs. Garden Street.”
No surprise there, given the sports car Andrew had been driving. I expected him to be living in a house greater than or equal to the Durt’s in scale, though I had only a vague idea of what the Lepps did for a living. There were too many bunnies to keep track of in Bunnyburrow. And I tended not to care much about anyone who earned more than me. I barely had enough to afford the basics at the end of the week.
I kept my eyes to the road, trying to ignore the passenger in my vehicle. Though he made it challenging.
“So...How is, uh, Jude doing?” He stammered.
I ran through my head trying to remember if there were any regulations that would give me the excuse not to talk about a subject I had no interest in discussing with a delinquent. There were none I could think of. With a heavy sigh, I decided to keep it honest but brief for him.
“She’s fine, last I saw her. Though I would leave it at that.”
“That’s, uh, that’s fair…”
I would have been happy to end the conversation like that but social obligations taught me never to just burn bridges, even if he deserved it.
“Everything good, bud?”
“Yeah...No...I just...I dunno. It’s just...Something.”
An articulate fellow, indeed. Time spent with Judy reminded me just how atypical she was compared to normal kids her age. At least, in terms of maturity.
“I feel like...I messed up big time,” he tried to explain.
I rolled my eyes a bit. “That’s an understatement, yes. Don’t drink and drive. Ever.”
I knew from the report that Andrew was looking at getting his license taken away.
He was still seventeen, underaged, so the penalties were lessened than they would be if this had happened just a few months later. It also helped that his family was wealthy enough to afford any bail the judge posted. He was still looking at some sort of community service for at least a month. Maybe even a day or two of jail time as further punishment to let the message set in, depending on what the judge decided. And the court date wasn’t for a couple of weeks. It would have been a whole lot worse if he ended up killing the poor girl in the accident.
“I don’t think I ever even want to drink again,” he admitted. “I don’t even really like it.”
I didn’t have the taste for alcohol either. “So, why did you even do it in the first place?”
“Obligations, man. Your image. I dunno. If you don’t then you sound like a pansy and people talk about you behind your back.”
“Why even care what they think?” I shrugged. “Aren’t you leaving the burrow soon anyway?”
“Nah, man. Can’t now that the court thing is happening. I’ll have to wait till college now. In September.”
Of course, he would still have prospects. This kind of event was harrowing but not life-ending for a rich family like the Lepps. I had seen other, poorer kids like him from my years in high school do the same thing to a lesser extreme, only for it to end up ruining their entire lives. To that end, I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. This was a slap on Andrew’s wrist and nothing more.
But that was the way the world worked.
“Did Jude tell you about me leaving the burrow?”
I snapped back from my darker thoughts on privileges and offered him a comforting smirk.
“Yeah, she mentioned it during her birthday. After I walked her off when she got knocked down.”
I detected a contrasting frown at Andrew’s lips as he looked down. “Jess never really liked Jude. A lot of the girls in the burrow don’t.”
“A lot of guys too, if rumors are true. You don’t seem like the kind of buck to be interested in someone like her, if you don’t mind me saying.”
“She’s kinda cute, I guess,” Andrew shrugged before dropping his voice to a low whisper. “And really, really scary too.”
I nodded along. I supposed there was something exciting about being in a relationship with a ticking time bomb. In the same vein that it was exciting to sit on a tack. For the life of me, I couldn’t imagine myself being in the same situation.
“I dunno, and there’s bragging rights too, I think. She’s the mayor’s daughter and has her rep. I never really thought about it.”
My eyes narrowed. Never thinking about the consequences certainly explained most of the kid’s bad decisions.
“Playing with fire there, bud.”
“Yeah, I know...”
We were approaching the end of our little drive together, with Garden Street coming up down the road. Little had changed in the scenery, with each house looking as fanciful as the next. It was the ideal place to grow up, with pristine white picket fences and open yards to play in. The trend of modernism continued though with not a kit outside in sight, despite it being the middle of the summer.
“I didn’t have much of a plan,” he confessed. “She wanted to go to the city with me when I went to college and I wanted the, uh, status. Kids avoid her, you know. Not even the other guys want to mess with her after she took down Gideon Grey. Twice.
“Mm. So, you wanted a big tough bodyguard when you moved into the city. Got it.”
“I mean, the city’s a big, scary place for a rabbit, so I hear…”
“It’s not that bad. And I like to think I turned out alright, all faults considered.”
“Right...You’re the fox cop from the city.”
“Glad to see my reputation precedes me.”
“What’s it like?”
I blinked a few times at the unexpected inquiry into my personal life. “The city?”
“Yeah. I’ve never been. And you seem...Streetsmart. So, I’m just, you know, wondering.”
I rolled my eyes again but humored the rabbit.
“Well, you’ll probably be in the university section of the city. That’s in the nice, spiffy central districts near where the trains let off. They keep that area clean for welcoming guests. Even have a big overhead screen with whatever five-seconds-of-fame celebrity is popular at the time saying hello to you. Real cheesy and I doubt whatever college you’re going to will let you see the slums of the city. ZU. Scurry Business School. Har-fur-d University. They’re all pretty up there in tuition, so I doubt you’ll ever be treated poorly. Won’t go hungry or be in any real danger unless you literally lie down in the middle of the street.”
I found myself trailing down memory lane into late high school, when most of my classmates were busy picking out colleges they wanted to attend. Even without the events of prom, higher education simply wasn’t an opportunity for me. Especially when mom and I could barely make a living for ourselves. Even Jack, with all his determination, settled for community college in the outskirts of the city instead of pursuing a college degree. And that was despite him being the top of our class.
“Out of curiosity,” I asked. “What will your major be?”
“Ah, Audio Technology.”
“Audio Technology,” I repeated, translating it from university mumbo-jumbo into a real language. “You mean learning music?”
“Yeah...I wanna learn to work a keyboard and, uh, play as a DJ.”
“You know, you don’t need to go to college to do that, right? You can learn the basics all on your own, with a little help. Find a few gigs to get situated.”
“I dunno. Isn’t going to college what you’re just supposed to do? Get into school...Get a good job, right? That’s what everyone does.”
It was by my own self control that I didn’t outright burst the dumb bunny’s ignorant bubble on the way the world worked. I suppose I was stupid at that age too. But there were limits to how blind you had to be. And talk of music and high school was reminding me more of my own time busking.
“Listen, kid,” I said with all the condescending tone of an old man. “It’s none of my business what you do with your life. But you got a good thing going with your options and whatever college you’re going to. There are doors open to you that will always be closed for other mammals your age. Take it from me. I used to live off the streets playing my guitar for a living.”
“You...You did?”
“Sure. I was a busker for a while with the hopes and dreams of someday becoming famous or talented enough to be well known and make it big. Wasn’t much of a plan. But I did go to a few auditions and such on the occasion, where I could afford the entry fees. Didn’t help that the system is rigged against you from the start though. I was destined to fail by my own standings as a poor fox in the city.”
And slumped into a bit of a depression because of it. Those were the days when I hit an all-time low and there was an honest temptation to start looking into dishonest ways of work to keep me afloat. Thank god mom and Jack were there to talk me out of it.
“But you have a chance with those opportunities. Wasting them with making stupid decisions before you even set foot in college isn’t going to win you any favors. Save it for when you’re rich and famous. If you want my advice for the city, don’t take anything for granted. Every mammal you meet, everything that you do, is an opportunity. A chance to go somewhere new and unexpected in the great journey that is life. And every encounter matters. Your actions give you an appearance. And your appearance gives an impression. Drunk driving is not an attractive image. Get the picture?”
“Y-Yeah…”
“The city can be either the safest place in the world or have danger at every turn, depending on how you present yourself. So, don’t waste any chances. Okay, bud?”
Andrew stared at me blankly for a moment. “Okay…”
I stopped the car at the corner of Garden Street. The neighborhood was more of the same and I was fast growing tired of the rich, green scenery.
“You good from here?” I asked him as I put my vehicle into park.
“Yeah…” he said, before stepping into the quiet summer day.
He lingered for a moment before leaning up to my window.
“Hey, uh, sheriff?”
“Hm?”
“I, uh, I’m probably not going to be around much this summer. You know, with the court thing and probably some community service following that. Then it will be autumn...And college. Jess, I’ll see again. But, uh, Jude...She’s staying here. Alone. Can you keep an eye on her? You know? Being the sheriff and all, you’ll probably see her more often.”
That much was true, though for very different reasons than what Andrew was thinking.
“Of course.”
“She’s not a bad rabbit. Even when she did the spray painting thing, it was only because we dared her to do it. She’s just…”
I let him trail a bit before helping him along. “...Misguided?”
“I guess,” he shrugged. “She certainly made life, uh, interesting in the burrows.”
An honest smirk found its way to my lips. “That much is true.”
“But...Yeah. Just...Look out for her. You know? It’s the least I can do to make things up to her.”
Andrew contemplated his feet for a moment before snapping back to reality.
“And, uh, thanks for the ride, bro.”
I waved him off as he walked down the sidewalk towards one of the many indistinguishable houses in the neighborhood, fading into conformity. Meanwhile, I sat in the silence of my cruiser, before I released the gears and pulled out into the street to get back to work. Though my stomach was growling for lunch.
“You’re teaching her guitar?” asked Gideon.
“Yep,” I replied through a mouthful of avocado, maple syrup, and melon. It was the healthiest sandwich I could find at the bakery Gideon worked at.
One good thing about meeting Gideon for lunch to discuss our Judy problem was he got me some free food while we crouched out in the back alley. Sweet Thing was the only bakery in the central area of the burrow. And I was sure Hank wasn’t going to question me grabbing a bite for lunch if I brought him a bag of doughnuts in return.
The odd combination of flavors tickled my tongue as I chewed and swallowed to continue.
“I wanted to tell you after it became clear to me that she’s going to be coming over more often. We can’t exactly do much about our location, given her dad has a problem with her being anywhere near a fox. A public place is going to draw unwanted attention, so we’re trying to keep it under wraps.”
“But...But aren’t you worried about what Stu would do if he caught you?”
“Definitely. But Judy’s a hard rabbit to say no to. I’d be worried if I told her it’s too risky, she’d just break into our apartment and practice on her own anyway, if only to spite me. And I don’t feel like arresting her for something preventable like that. Better the thing I can control than the thing I can’t. You know?”
Gideon gave a slight whine and looked down at his feet.
“How she would react to you being my roommate is what I'm more worried about right now,” I finished with the last bite of my sandwich.
“You...You haven’t told her yet?”
“Nope. I’m a fox of my word with the promise you had me make. Figured I owed you for the backstory on her too. And, being frank here, I’d rather not be the one to pull the pin on that grenade if I can help it. But at the same time, I’m not going to lie to her. If she asks me about who my mysterious vampire-like shut-in of a roommate is, I’m going to have to tell her. You know?”
“I getcha,” muttered Gideon as he slumped against the brick wall. “Sorry. I feel awful yellow about all this…”
“You don’t want to get all this off your chest?”
Gideon shook his head. “Can’t do it. Tried a bunch of times. Just can’t summon the courage. Guess I really am just a car van.”
I furrowed my brow at his butchering of his last word. “You mean craven?”
“Right. That word.”
I put a paw into my pocket, fiddling with Gideon’s mailbox tag that I had been keeping on my uniform.
“Wouldn’t it be best to just get this off your shoulders?” I tried again. “Try not to hide it and all that? Finally take the chance to apologize to her? It will sting a bit, but it will clear the air between you two.”
“I can’t…”
I sighed and released the name tag.
“Well, I’m not about to force it on you. But what are you going to do? The rabbit who hates your guts will be in our home every day at 6AM and 6PM, respectively.”
Gideon stammered and rubbed at the back of his head.
“I dunno. I guess I’ll stay with my parents if I think I might cross paths with her?”
The thought of running away back to his parent’s place made me shrug my shoulders.
“If that’s what you want to do,” I replied. “I guess I can leave you some sort of warning when we’re occupying the space.”
“That’d be much appreciated.”
“Speaking from experience though, Gid, you’re better off just ripping off this bandage instead of letting it fester,” I said licking my chops. “That sandwich you made was pretty good, by the way. Strange, but tasty.”
“Thanks...It’s one of my own inventions.”
“You should be doing stuff more like that,” I continued. “Not spending your nights working as a janitor for a rabbit who obviously would rather you drop dead.”
“I know you’re right, Nick. And gosh, I am happy that you’re doing something with Judy like this—”
“—Well, it was her idea, mostly—”
“—But I am content with where I am right now. Really. And shaking things up like that seems like a bad idea. It could blow up in a bad way. If I lost my job with Stu...I honestly don’t know if I could afford my share of the rent.”
I frowned. That was a much better reason than pure cowardice.
“Alright,” I muttered. “I’ll drop it. But no promises that she won’t find out anyway.”
“Thanks for telling me all the same. This is going to be a long summer. Inn’it?”
I let out a neutral sigh as I stepped out into the sun and the busy main street of the burrow.
“I don’t know about long. But it’ll certainly be interesting, whatever it is.”
Notes:
I could kill for an avocado sandwich right now. Three little encounters for Nick to go into the weekend.
Chapter 17: Track 17: “Remains of Summer Memories”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
What’s the best summer you can remember?
I ask because, growing up poor in the city, there weren’t many opportunities for us to take a vacation. Sure, summer meant school was out as a kit and I had unlimited freedom. But I’m one of those mammals that if you give me a blank piece of paper, I don’t know what to do with it. I need direction in my life and fully admit that I don’t really have the motivation in myself to do something productive. So, to me at least, summer was always just a break from school while I sat around at home driving mom nuts. There were no happy memories of sleep overs, swimming, or even playing games in the street.
So, you have to believe me when I say the summer of 2010 was the best summer of my life.
Not that it had any huge competition, mind you. But there was never a time before where I was looking forward to getting up in the morning. True, it took a good week before I could completely adjust to Judy’s harsh workout routine. But I learned to love the rush of endorphins at the end of the day. Cue the training montage you’d see in movies. Running, climbing, hitting tire swings, and lifting weights.
It was the little things Judy taught me every step of the way too. Like breathing while running.
“Breathe out through your nose every time your left foot hits the ground,” she said. “That will force your lungs to work and you won’t get cramps.”
Or even stuff that I knew already but never committed to.
“Lift with your legs. Never your back. You’ll have better posture that way.”
Once I conformed to the flow of the exercise, I began to notice things. Small things, at first. I wouldn’t get winded walking up steps anymore. I was more confined to precise times of eating every day, and if I didn’t my body would shut down. And getting up in the morning was easier to do too.
Into the first week of August though, I was in for a surprise when I looked in the mirror after taking a shower.
“Where did this come from?”
I was by no means an out of shape fox, even before the academy. But I was never the type to have any sort of muscle to me. Skinny as a stick, but never fat. So, when I saw the start of biceps forming on my arms in the mirror, I couldn’t help but be a little surprised. Sure, it was nothing to write home about. But it was progress. And that only made me work harder for results.
Getting into shape was a slow burn compared to Judy’s music lessons though.
I was starting to think she was a natural genius to music, but quickly dismissed that idea whenever I watched her try to learn a song and fail a few times. It had more to do with her indomitable focus and determination. What she lacked in rhythm, she more than made up for in spirit. Though she’d never show it. Every smile she’d give after overcoming something tricky in my lessons was quickly hidden away so I wouldn’t notice it. But I’d catch it, every single time. I knew that if I pointed it out I’d probably get kicked in the shins.
Partway through August and I was running out of things to teach Judy.
In one week’s time, she could play the notes of an entire classic rock song perfectly from memory. She had done her own studying in her free time between lessons to brush up on how to read music from sheets. In our second week of practice, she started to bring printed out music sheets and learned to play every single one of the songs. The third week, we listened to music together while I pointed out how to learn a song by your ears alone and recognizing the beats. Her memory was astonishing and easily her most distinct feature. She could recall a tune with perfect clarity from the radio five years ago.
And there was something more to it, as I soon discovered.
“You have perfect pitch,” I realized with some surprise one day.
“What’s that?”
“A rare phenomenon,” I muttered, crossing my arms after her performance. “I think it happens in like one in ten thousand people. Basically, you can sort of feel the tone of notes to a song and understand what they are without ever having to reference a sheet of paper.”
“So what?” Judy said with a shrug, strumming at the guitar. “I’ve seen you do it too.”
“No, I don’t have it. I have relative pitch. I can place the notes on the scale. But I miss the subtle tones only someone with perfect pitch could hear.”
“I don’t see the difference…”
“Then I’m explaining it badly,” I said, clearing my throat and trying to come up with an analogy. “It’s like...I see music in terms of precise numbers and equations. While you see it more as colors and shades. I’m more black and white while you can catch the subtleties I may be missing.”
A toothy grin appeared on Judy’s face as she taunted me with a few different chords I couldn’t place.
“So, I’m better than you.”
“You have a natural advantage,” I accepted with a shrug. “Some people, like you, naturally have perfect pitch by birth. But it can also be learnt through hard work and practice. Most musicians strive for relative pitch. The very best can do both.”
“Then teach me,” she said, huffing through her nose at the prospect of a new challenge. “Teach me how to recognize relative pitch.”
And so, we set out at the start of August with Judy’s new goal in mind.
It didn’t take very long. But, again, her one flaw was her rigidness. And that was slowly going away with practice. But there were times when she’d tense up, especially on a tricky song, and slowed the entire tempo of the beat trying to hear the notes. Almost perfect. Not quite there yet.
Every day she got a little bit better. And every day, I looked forward to our lessons more and more so she could continue to surprise me.
We even started to hang out after lessons, usually on a lazy Sunday with nothing better for either of us to do. Much to Gideon’s trouble, who would exile himself to his parent’s trailer for the entire day. I’d continue prodding him into speaking with Judy. But nothing I said ever encouraged him to come out of his shell and I decided to leave it to him. My tie on the front door served as his warning when we were at home.
I only ever dared broach the subject of Gideon to Judy once.
“You ever do something you’ve really regretted, Carrots?”
“That would depend on what you mean by regret,” she muttered from the couch. “My stomach regretted having that cricket pizza the first day I was here.”
“Har, har. I’m serious.”
Judy went quiet as I turned down the volume of the movie we were watching that night.
“Why do you want to know?” she asked.
Gideon had been on my mind that day after another unsuccessful attempt to coax him out of hiding. Plus, something came up in the office when I was sitting at my desk that week.
“I read your file again,” I admitted. “Stumbled on it during cleanup at the station today. I gotta say, some of the stuff on there I can’t see you doing, now that I’ve gotten to know you better.”
“Thanks? I think?”
“So, is there anything you do regret on that record? Like with Humphrey? Or with that fox?”
Judy looked at me for a long time and sighed.
“You could have just started with ‘do you regret biting his ear off,’ dumb fox.”
“Sorry,” my own ears lowered. “I gathered it’s a touchy subject. I was just curious, seeing as we’re both foxes. There’s some kinship there.”
“You’re nothing like him. He was...Cruel. Even when he knew he was hurting people, he just kept at it like he didn’t feel a thing. Or didn’t care about anyone but himself. So, I stood up to him. Twice. I don’t like thinking about it much.”
Judy went real quiet again. That’s when I noticed her ears had also started to droop.
“I went way overboard,” she said, at last. “Lost control. It was...A bad day for me. I just got some bad news from the doctor about my leg and...He made it so much worse. He said such horrible things to me. To my family. It made me so angry, unlike anything I ever felt before in my life.”
I frowned and put my paw to her shoulder. Judy shrugged me off to her corner of the couch.
“But that was no excuse for me to do that to him, I know that now. And it only made things worse. If I could change one thing I’ve done in my life, anything at all, it would be to go back and stop myself. And never be that angry at someone again.”
I nodded and offered her a smile. Judy grabbed the remote from my paw and turned away.
“No one’s ever asked me about that before,” she muttered.
“Ever at all? You’ve never talked to someone about it?”
“Most people here are too scared to bring it up. Or talk to me in general. So...Thanks, I guess. For asking.”
Outside of Judy’s budding friendship, little else changed in the burrows.
My relationship with the mayor was kept at a standstill. With Judy sneaking out every day, I was content enough to not infer his wrath upon me or her. And Judy was careful enough to never get caught, even checking in with her mom over the phone by my request. And we never breathed a word of our time together to anyone else in the burrow outside of Gideon. Not even with Jack.
To say I had smoothed things over with Jack would be a lie. We were on speaking terms again, but just barely. A few civil conversations through texts every day, but very little in the way of personal chatter. We were both ignoring the elephant in the room and Judy was never a subject broached. I was content to keep things like that. If he wanted to have a real talk with me, then he was welcome to initiate it.
Meanwhile, mom played the mediator between the two of us, filling me in on all the typical details of life in the city. I suspected mom may have clued Jack into my new workout routine, as I had mentioned it to her on more than one occasion. But nothing ever came of it.
And so, life went on into the dog days of summer. All the way into the start of August, with Labor Day fast approaching.
It was about a month into the agreement Judy and I had made together that the trouble started.
I should have seen it coming. But I’m a thick fox. And I’d have three major slip ups before things got better. Three important and tough lessons.
Onto our third album. The longest. And the hardest.
Notes:
Montage chapter! And well as some ominous warnings at the end.
On a lighter note, for research, I had asked three different musicians I know to describe perfect pitch to me and got three different answers. And the online definition of it is also both technical and vague, it just feels like something that's very hard to describe so I tried to do my best here...Nick's own way of describing things. It's not a major detail of the story, I just figured rabbits with their ears are more likely to have "the gift" as is the case with Judy.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! There will be a bonus chapter in Ghost Note next week too!
Chapter 18: Track 18: “Parts Per Million”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Politics were so tiresome. Especially if you weren’t directly involved with them. I suppose it would be unfair to say I didn’t care about the town hall meeting between the councilmammals and the mayor. The subject matter involved my apartment, after all.
“...And even with the new complex near the trailer park, most families simply can’t afford the living space with their incomes. The foxes are demanding more space for the trailer park instead.”
The speaker was a skunk woman with pink glasses, and very similar fur patterns to the skunk who managed our building.
“The burrow lost money on its construction,” said Mayor Hopps. “We’re still trying to keep it up and running. And you’re saying we’re not even at half capacity?”
I was thankful my own rent had been covered as part of my salary to the town. Less income at the end of the day, but also less to worry about in real estate. Though the talking had me wondering just how Gideon was coming up with the cash to pay for his half of the rent. He had been spending most of his free time working and a lot of the food in our fridge were leftovers from his job at Sweet Thing.
“Perhaps if we were to open up the rooms to higher income mammals then we might not lose so much revenue.”
The mayor rubbed his eyes. “We can consider it. But that doesn’t solve the fox problem.”
I was the only fox in the room of tottering older mammals, all of them prey. Most of the councilmammals were bunnies, save for the one sheep amongst them. To say I was a little bit uncomfortable would be an understatement. But I drew the short straw that Saturday evening. It was my job to watch over the pompous politicians and represent the Bunnyburrow police department. Plus, it wasn’t all bad.
On the agenda for the town meeting happened to be the discussions about the Labor Day police party, fast approaching in just one month. This was evident by the attendance of a few out-of-town cops sitting in the front row of the town hall. One of them was a familiar pig who shot me a knowing look as I stood by the mayor’s side. Humphrey had mostly kept to herself with her state trooper affairs and we hadn’t seen each other much in the last month. It was all I could do to hold in a snort when she rolled her eyes at the mayor’s blustering speeches.
“If the harvest brings in a good revenue this year, we can discuss lowering the rates of the apartment complex. Until then, the price must stay as it is. Next topic.”
Bull rushing that one, aren’t we? I sighed in acceptance. The sooner the meeting was over, the sooner I could get home.
The council members prattled on for some time.
If I wasn’t standing up I might have fallen asleep through most of it. I had already pushed myself with the day’s workout, trying to make more gains. But in that process, I was slow and we didn’t get to finish, something I’d amend the moment I got home. I perked up as soon as they came to the topic of the Labor Day party. Last on the list, as would be expected.
“...Need I remind everyone of our expected guests in September,” said the mayor. “The northern fields of the Hopps farm are to be reserved for the upcoming 51st annual police gathering for the tri-burrows. There are still a few matters of concern, especially given the shortage of excess funding this year.”
Well, that certainly sounds worrisome. My ears perked up at the conversation.
“I’m thankful our guests from the other departments joined us tonight,” the mayor nodded to Humphrey and the other out-of-town officers sitting next to her. “Given budget cuts across the board, we may have to scale back on some features. In addition we need to limit the invitations from several outside parties, such as our guests from Zootopia.”
My self control was all that stopped me from expelling an outraged grunt to the mayor. Was he purposely trying to tick me off? The Carrot Day’s festival in April got full budgetary needs, yet a simple police officer party got cut.
The other officers shared in my disapproval, especially Humphrey.
“Mayor Hopps,” she said, with a strained pleasant tone. “Need I remind you, the rest of the burrows, and the state, will be involved in this celebration.”
“Bunnyburrow simply doesn’t have the budget to spare for this to be a priority, Officer Humphrey.”
“If that’s the case then shouldn’t the decision of what to do fall to those who have the most committed to the celebration? The actual officers themselves?”
The mayor thought for a moment. “You do realize that your salaries are paid for by your respective towns themselves, correct? Or, in your case, the state. Each of them has already put forward their willing budget for your little party. You’re welcome to make a case to increase that funding, but Bunnyburrow cannot spare any more.”
“And what if the officers provide the means to hold the party themselves?”
“With their own time and finances?”
“Yes, sir.”
The mayor gave it an even longer moment of thought, digesting Humphrey’s words like they were poison.
“...Then I see no reason why not. However, that means that the responsibility of the celebration falls to the officers.”
“I’d be happy to put together an assembly of like-minded cops who’d be willing to manage the budget and activities. A dedicated management board.”
“If you can prove you can take care of all that, Bunnyburrow will provide the space and the invitations can be to whomever you’d like. Are we in agreement?”
“Yes, sir.”
I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing full well that Humphrey had just made sure that the last month of killing myself over exercise hadn’t been for nothing.
With a compromise made, the excitement of the meeting died down. It wasn’t long before everyone was dismissed. I lingered at the mayor’s side for a moment, to confirm I was being released from my unwilling attendance. Thankfully, Humphrey was patient enough to wait for me at the door out of the town hall. I suspected she desired to chat with me. I had a few words for her too.
“Well,” I said in a low whisper. “That could have gone better.”
“Rule one of town hall meetings,” she replied. “Always save the bad news for last. That way, folks are too tired to argue about it and just want to go home.”
“Is that why he waited until, like, a month before the party to bring up the budget concerns?”
“I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that the mayor doesn’t value police officers very much.”
Part of me said that had to do with Judy’s lost dreams, but I quieted such assumptions.
“Anyway,” continued Humphrey. “You look good, Wilde. Making some epic gains there. Is that how the kids say it these days?”
I internally groaned at her forced “hip lingo” but kept a smile.
“I’ve been taking what you said seriously,” I answered. “Been training and exercising hard this past month. Have to say, I almost lost my tail back there with the mayor before you jumped in. You're going to be alright handling something this big?”
We had begun moving out the door, into the humid August night.
I had delayed our exit long enough that most of the other mammals had already dispersed and we were mostly alone at the steps of burrow central. There was the scent of barbecues on distant grills in the air, as well as the wisps of cigarette smoke.
“Still need to figure it all out,” she admitted. “But you don’t get anything done by just sitting around being neutral.”
I let out a knowing sigh. “Preach it.”
“Also, this means I can’t partner up with you to help without seeming biased. And...I could use some help setting things up. From everyone. There’s food to consider. I can manage the events themselves, but there’s also equipment. Not to mention entertainment.”
“Entertainment?”
“Music, mostly.”
“What? You mean a band?”
“If we can find one on the cheap side, sure. I’d settle for a squeeze-box player, if that’s all we can scrounge up. But a band would be perfect.”
“Well, I play guitar,” though I was admittedly heavily out of practice from last month. “Why don’t you leave that part to me?”
“What? You want to play and impress the ZPD scout? That would certainly be noteworthy, I’ll give you that.”
“Not me. But I think I know someone who’d be interested in performing.”
Maybe it was the cigarette smoke in the air that gave me the idea or perhaps it was the universe’s continued sense of humor. Either way, I quickly realized that the reason for the smoke was because Judy was leaning against the wall near the town hall steps. At her feet were half a dozen butts, with a fresh stick in her mouth. There was also a disinterested look in her eyes as she glared at Humphrey.
“Speak of the devil,” I whispered to myself.
Humphrey finally caught onto Judy’s stares. She put on a warm smile to contrast the glowering rabbit.
“Hello there, Judy.”
“Officer Oink…”
“Hey now,” I said and came between the two. “She’s a friend. Be nice, Carrots.”
Judy’s nose twitched slightly before taking a long drag. “Sorry. Habit.”
Humphrey’s eyes raised slightly in surprise at Judy’s words, though she kept on her signature smile. You’d think Humphrey had never heard a civil apology before.
“Glad to see you’re doing better,” continued Humphrey. “Since the crash last month, that is. Nasty business, with the driver. What do you kids call it these days? A total axxi.”
“Um. Sure.”
Judy’s cringe at how out of her element Humphrey was with her inappropriate modern vocabulary had me absolutely delighted. It was nice to see someone get under Judy’s skin, for a change. Especially with how much she liked to push other mammals’ buttons. I couldn’t help but wonder how far Judy’s polite streak could be pushed before she finally snapped.
We didn’t get to see the conclusion to that little experiment, however, as Humphrey turned to leave.
“Well, I won’t interrupt your night. We’ll talk later, Wilde. Peace out, Jude the Dude.”
Thankfully, Humphrey didn’t hear the low groan escaping Judy’s mouth as she trotted away. Judy gave me a look of delicious contempt, knowing I was enjoying every moment of her misery.
“Why do you encourage her?” she asked me. “She’s so bad .”
“Is that why you hate her?”
“Part of it,” Judy flicked the cigarette around her mouth. “I dunno. It was a while ago and she still tries to be my friend. I don’t get her.”
“Humphrey is just one of those mammals that wants to try and help everyone,” I said with a shrug.
“She’s smothering and patronizing all at once. She was the sheriff here the longest and I hated her. She just always followed me around and over-explained everything wrong I did. Got me in trouble for the most minor crimes, and everyone in the burrow too. Take her parking tickets, for example. Who the heck gives a parking ticket to someone thirty seconds over their meter? It’s, like, you could be doing so much more with your time and skills if you put your mind to it instead of hanging around here in the burrow. And she’s insanely preppy and happy all the time too. Like, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her frown once, even after losing her job.”
“You realize that kinda makes you sound like the real jerk here.”
“Who said I wasn’t a jerk?” Judy smirked at me as we walked along the sidewalk. “You’re quite chummy with her though.”
“Well, I know you already hate me and you can’t double down on that. That would be redundant.”
“Sure I can. I double hate you.”
“Well, I triple hate you.”
“There’s no such thing, dumb fox. Doubling up is as far as it goes.”
“No room for three? You’re only a two-hate rabbit then?”
“Exactly. I don’t like to share.”
I let out a sigh. Not the tired or strained kind. The sort you would let out after having a full meal.
“Should probably be a little more careful though,” I said, glancing back at town hall. “I know it’s late, but it’s still a little risky to be seen together like this so close to the mayor’s office.”
“Why? You think Officer Oink will squeal?”
I thought back to the look Humphrey had given us. “I doubt it. You should know better than anyone that Humphrey’s not on the greatest terms with your dad. You could have just waited for me at the apartment and avoided all this, you know.”
“You don’t have AC and I would have gotten bored.”
“You don’t need me there for your practice all the time, do you?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, dumb fox.”
We were alone on the side streets of the town square in the burrow. It was around 9 PM and most mammals were getting prepared to go to bed, given the early work days farming brought. Without street lamps, it was so dark that I could only see Judy’s cigarette illuminating her face and purple eyes. My night vision was shimmering between in and out of focus, as my iris didn’t know whether to widen or not. We approached my parked cruiser.
“Then how about I flatter you instead? You’re nearing the point where I’m running out of things to teach you, Carrots. I’m struggling to come up with lessons for you as it is.”
“Just make something up then. It’s what I’ve started doing with your workouts.”
I didn’t know if she was kidding or not. You could never tell with Judy.
“Regardless,” I continued as we slipped into my car. “You might want to consider looking into your next step.”
“Which is?”
“Performing in front of others.”
Judy’s ears drooped instantly. “You mean like busking?”
“I was actually wondering if you might be interested in playing for the Labor Day party.”
The tip of Judy’s cigarette died in the dark of the car. I could smell the smoke in our condensed space.
“...I dunno,” she said after a moment of silence. “Isn’t that a big jump?”
“No bigger than learning all the chords of a guitar in one day. You gotta cross that line sometime, Carrots. Performing in front of other folks is the next step in learning.”
Her amethyst eyes trailed down to the car seat, to her legs.
“...I really don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”
She flinched as she said the words, as if expecting me to lash out at her for her decision.
And sure, I was a little disappointed. But I had been in her seat before. Performance anxiety, thinking I wasn’t any good to show the world what I was made of. The best way to conquer that fear, from my experience, was to just jump right in, head first. But that was a choice that had to come from her.
I smiled at Judy. “Hey, it’s okay. Whenever you feel ready. And I know it’s scary to do it on your own. Easier when you’re with a band.”
“I’m not scared,” Judy snapped back into her tough attitude. “And I’m never going to join a band.”
“Yeah, so you’ve said. But have you given any thought on what you’ve wanted to do with learning guitar?”
“What do you mean?”
“What do you mean what do I mean? I thought that was obvious enough. What’s your endgame here, Carrots? Where’s all this going for you? What do you see yourself doing with this new skill you’ve been working hard to acquire?”
Judy remained silent as she rolled open the window and flicked out her spent cigarette onto the street. “You’re asking a lot of annoying questions tonight, dumb fox.”
“I’ve been told that’s part of my charm. It drives a lot of mammals nuts.”
“Then I’ll return the favor by not giving you an answer.”
I probably deserved that by pushing her too hard. In our month together, I had discovered Judy developed the habit to clam up whenever someone tried to pry her too much. She was very much the private sort of mammal who did things at her own pace. That probably contributed to why Humphrey never made much progress with her. Though I was starting to learn Judy’s patterns too.
I just continued to smile and started the car. I knew Judy would attempt to change the subject in 3...2...1…
“So,” Judy said when we were on the road. “Summer’s half over.”
The temptation was there to poke fun at her awkward segway, if I didn’t know that would get her legitimately upset with me. Prior experience taught me where the line was with her. I settled for brevity instead.
“So it is.”
But it was still fun to subtly make Judy work for something.
“...And tomorrow’s your day off.”
“Indeed.”
Now she was getting annoyed with me, by how she bared her teeth. She spoke with her mouth clenched.
“...So. Do you. Want to. Go swimming.”
“Swimming?” I widened my eyes in true surprise. “What? You mean as a part of my workout routine?”
“That’s what I was thinking. Mix things up a little. Plus, I haven’t gone swimming in awhile since my leg.”
“You weren’t kidding. You really do just make up these routines as you go.”
“Hey, it’s worked so far…”
I laughed. “A strong policy. One I share in, actually.”
“Well, do you want to or not?”
Sunday’s were a bit different from our usual routine together. With me not being trapped in the office all day, we were free to spend it doing whatever we wanted. Nothing too public, since I gathered that the mayor was still not keen on having his daughter hang out with a fox. But we’d do fun things too. Like watch old movies or listen to music. Judy had turned me on to some of her punk rock, while I had introduced her to my favorite all-time song, Angry Young Mammal by Billy Goat.
But this would be the first time she suggested something that involved us being out and about.
Along the empty stretch of road, towards Foxburrow, the sky was open and wide to a beautiful cloudless night. It looked to be a promising day in the morning, but one could never tell with the open fields of the burrow.
“If it’s not raining tomorrow, then sure. Though I should warn you, foxes aren’t the best swimmers. Lots of flailing and the occasional bouts of drowning.”
“Well, you’d best hope you’re a fast learner then.”
I grunted while curling my iron from the couch.
Just because the town paid for my living quarters, it didn’t mean I had oodles of cash floating around. Most of it went to food when out on the town and other necessities like laundry, leaving me with little play money at the end of the day. What I did have was invested in some meager workout equipment which I kept in my bedroom. I had found a cheap set of thirty pound weights from a garage sale, which made for a fun exercise in carrying home. Judy had also convinced me to invest in proper clothes and other basic additions to my collection, including a yoga mat, jump rope, paw presses, and a medicine ball.
She sat quietly pleased with herself in the other corner of the couch, strumming at the guitar and watching me finish my set that I had missed in the morning.
“One hundred,” I grunted and dropped my weight onto the floor. “Four sets. Twenty five each arm.”
“You need heavier weights,” she commented.
“Lower weights mean better form.”
“Also means you have to do more reps to get the same results. Waste of time, if you ask me.”
Judy put the guitar down and studied me. I was in my gym shorts and tank top, exposing most of my new muscle. She nibbled at her paw for a moment before speaking.
“You should join a gym soon.”
“Not confident in your abilities to teach me, Carrots?” I asked. “I think we’ve made good progress this last month.”
“You have,” she agreed. “But you’re on the cusp of the next step. There’s only so much working out from home will get you. You’ve built muscle and a foundation. But what do you want to do next with it?”
“Well, my goal is to do well in the Labor Day games,” I replied.
Though I still had no idea what to expect from the games. I’d have to remember to ask Humphrey what she had planned.
“That’s it? You’re going to just stop exercising after you get into the ZPD?”
In truth, I hadn’t thought that far ahead.
“Yeah? As fulfilling as working out is, the lifestyle is really hard. It’s not a way I think I can live forever.”
Judy stopped playing as she hit the wrong chord in her short jingle. She sighed and held her head in her paws.
“Whatever. It’s your body, I guess. Just sounds like a waste of time, to me.”
“And what would you do with my body?”
Judy just stared at me blankly before clearing her throat.
“I’d get into bodybuilding.”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”
“No. There’s a big difference. It would involve specific intense exercises to shape muscles. But to do that you need a better trainer than me. And a gym for proper equipment.”
Judy shrugged and returned to the guitar.
“You can do what you want though. So long as I get my training for my lessons, you’ll get your workout advice from me. You can end it whenever you’d like.”
“Is that all? You’re not my friend at this point?”
“We’re not friends,” she replied rather rigidly.
I would have been hurt by that retort if I didn’t know her better.
I smiled. “Of course. My mistake.”
“Uh huh,” Judy said, checking my cellphone placed on the coffee table. “It’s getting late and we got swimming tomorrow. Unless you want to do something else…”
I chuckled under my breath. “Dunno. Hungry?”
Judy shrugged in indifference.
“How about Edgardo's and a movie then?”
“Sure. But none of that old horror movie junk that you had us watch the last time.”
“Aw. You got scared of the Kits of the Korn? Hits too close to home?”
I deserved to get punched in the arm for that comment. I laughed it off. Even with my extra muscle, Judy could still manage to hurt me.
After some other vague threats from Judy, I popped in another DVD from my collection to the old 24 inch Gideon had set up. We were too poor to afford BluRay, but neither of us minded. I put on something simple and corny while we waited for the pizza and salad to arrive. When Hairy Met Sally. Judy kept her corner of the couch and I kept to mine.
It was these summer nights that I enjoyed the most in the burrow. Soft sounds playing from the television and good company with me. We laughed and shared the good moments together, like when Judy shrieked at the dead body in Night of the Furry Dead. Stuff that I would never, ever forget. But I was old enough to know the truth.
Moments like these never lasted forever.
Notes:
Hmm. There's a certain type of tension in the air, I can't quite put my finger on it...
By the way, if you were interested in what Judy got up to during the montage last chapter, well, there's a lovely little Bonus Track in the Ghost Note Symphonies (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24325792/chapters/60682186). Call it a birthday present from me and a celebration for hitting 300 kudos! Thanks everyone!
Chapter 19: Track 19: “In Too Deep”
Notes:
As a heads up, this chapter deals with trauma, for your own discretion. Stay safe, everyone.
Chapter Text
There was one hugely important detail I had forgotten about when I agreed to go swimming with Judy. My trunks. Or lack-thereof.
Yeah, not on the top of my list when I had packed up to come to Bunnyburrow. Good news was that Gideon had a pair I could borrow, left out in his fresh laundry. Bad news was that, especially with my recent exercise, the wide waist was too large for my skinny frame. I looked like a child wearing his big brother’s clothes.
My appearance certainly amused Judy when she arrived at the apartment.
“Laugh it up, Carrots...Forgive me for not thinking to bring trunks when moving out to the burrows. Not exactly near any oceans, are we?”
“Haven’t you ever heard of swimming pools?”
“Is that where we’re going?” I asked as I trailed behind her along the dirt road on the outskirts of town. “The local pool?”
“The only public pool is thirty miles away in Podunk with the beavers. So, unless you feel like walking there with all eyes on us...”
The cruiser was parked at the station and it was going to stay there unless I wanted Hank asking any dumb questions that could lead us into getting caught by the mayor.
“Point taken. Seriously, where are we heading?”
The repeated question quieted Judy for a moment.
“Into the woods.”
Bunnyburrow wasn’t just endless farmlands, as I had come to learn. There were the mountains in the distance, which divided up the tri-burrows and earned them their namesake. To the west, on the border of Deerbrooke was a thick pocket of trees. Thick enough for me to call it a forest, though I had grown up in the city and never seen natural woods before. It was just on the edge of the mountains, plenty of slopes and gullies. Wouldn’t have been surprised if there was a hidden lake or two in there.
It was an hour walk to reach the fringe of the forest, and a very uncomfortable trek with me wearing nothing but oversized trunks, a T-shirt, and a towel. Judy was more dressed for travel with a straw hat, sunglasses, and a black gown to cover herself from the beating sun. I wish I had brought my own hat with me, and I settled for throwing my towel over my head.
Judy kept an unusually silent mood the entire way there though she changed her foreboding tune completely the moment we arrived at the woods. In fact, she caught me by surprise when she ran—or what could amount to her running with her limp—off to the entrance path between the trees.
I only ever saw a genuine smile on her face when she played guitar. But there she was, turning around and grinning at me.
“C’mon. I remember the way.”
Maybe it was the dark overhead of the trees guiding our way, but I had a sinking dread about Judy’s choice in direction. She was leading us deep, deep into the woods. If you spent enough time with someone, you learned to recognize all their moods. Judy never got giddy over anything, not even when playing the guitar. It wasn’t something I had ever seen before.
She was...Childlike? No, not quite there. But if Judy had the capacity to skip, it wouldn’t surprise me to see her doing so as she went down the dirt path.
I felt claustrophobic with so many trees around me. The closest I had ever been to a real forest was the tropic district in Zootopia with city streets to guide me. If I let Judy out of my sights, I would get lost forever, without a doubt. My cell service was gone and I was starting to doubt Judy’s sense of direction by how she’d look around at the occasional fork in the road.
But we pressed on, while I trailed behind cautiously.
Cut off from anything resembling the modern world, my animal senses began to adapt to their surroundings. I could hear every bird flutter through the trees and feel the wind blowing the leaves along the path. Then there was a scent in the air that relaxed me slightly. The smell of fresh water.
Judy lifted up a nearby branch and revealed a quiet pond at the edge of a sheer rock cliff.
“I was worried there,” I admitted. “For a moment.”
“Don’t you trust me, dumb fox?”
“Well, considering my phone’s dead, I figured you were just leading me out here on some sort of long-winded murder scheme. You know, leave me in the woods with a crazed serial killer on the loose like that one horror movie I showed you.”
“Huh. Now there’s an idea…”
“Right, very creepy. So, what’s the deal with this place? You seem to know your way around.”
“It’s...An old haunt. We used to come here all the time as kids. It’s so deep in the woods that no one ever bothered us. And no one knows about it now.”
That was a small wonder. The secluded body of water was neatly tucked away between two ridges, that caused every loud sound to echo about. I should have brought the guitar, the music would have been beautiful with the resonance among the rocks. There was a small beach before the pond and the water itself was crystal clear. This was probably part of a mountain spring, a leak in a deep underground well. The water looked cleaner than it did in the city, even when using the best filters on the market. I could perfectly see schools of fish swimming beneath the surface. I dipped a single toe in. Frigid. Made sense, given it was in the shadow of the mountains.
Next to me, Judy casted off her robe.
She was wearing a bikini underneath. I shouldn’t have been surprised by the color, black as night. But her outfit wasn’t what caught my eye. With her left hip exposed, I couldn’t help but notice a patch of bare, white skin on her leg. I quickly determined it was a large scar, big as her paw and in the shape of an X.
Judy noticed my glances. “What? Staring at my butt?”
“Huh?” I asked, not even considering that I might be leering. “Oh, no. I mean...I just...I never even thought that you’d have a scar before.”
“...Oh,” Judy suddenly became self-conscious of the marking on her hip and covered it with her paw. “Yeah. After my...The accident, the fur just never grew back. It used to look a lot worse. I had to keep a bandage on it for months after the cast.”
Judy limped over to a rock and sat down to stretch out her left leg. She rubbed at the joint of her hip and winced.
“It aches every morning before I take my meds. And before I go to bed or when it’s going to rain. Tightness in the joint with the metal and all that.”
“You have a metal hip?”
“They had to replace nearly everything,” she said without making eye contact with me. “It didn’t help that I wasn’t finished growing with puberty either. It would have been more deformed as I got older if they hadn’t inserted a fake joint. Would have been worse too if my femur had been completely shattered. Instead, it was in several pieces. Cost dad a small fortune in hospital bills though, not to mention the continued medicine.”
“Is that why you tried stealing it once?” I asked as gently as I could. “I saw it on your record.”
“Seemed like a good idea at the time to help cover bills. Besides, the pharmacy had screwed my mom on costs.”
“I figured you guys were rich, given your farm size and being the mayor’s family.”
Judy gave me a look that suggested she didn’t appreciate being considered wealthy, like it was an insult to her.
“Dad got a lot more careful with money after the accident. More focused on work and keeping us all safe and secure. It drives mom nuts when he works himself to death everyday. But I wouldn’t ever call us rich. Not anymore.”
“Point taken.”
The conversation had gotten heavy in an uncomfortable way. Had I expected just looking at Judy’s scar would prompt all her backstory, I might not have given her a glance. Not that I wasn’t interested in learning more about her. But her mood was constantly shifting in strange ways. Like something was wrong.
And inquiring minds just had to know, given a hunch I had from all this talk about her leg.
“Listen, Carrots,” I said, rubbing the back of my head. “Are you...Alright? You’ve been acting odd since we came here.”
Judy looked up into my eyes and then away to the pond.
“...I wanted to come out here for three reasons. One, to do your swim training.”
I nodded along, though I wasn’t looking forward to swimming in icy water.
“And two...These are the same woods I had my accident in. Off one of the cliffs. I was...Hoping we could visit the site again.”
She sighed heavily and tugged at one of her ears.
“It’s stupid,” she continued. “I haven’t been here since I fell. And I used to come here all the time as a kid. Part of me feels like I’ll get this...Closure by seeing it for myself again. It’s your fault, you know. You got me thinking about it again the other day when you were asking how I felt about the thing with Gideon.”
“So it does still bother you. What happened, I mean.”
“The only thing that bothers me about it is my leg aching everyday. I buried it a long time ago. But stuff keeps popping on my mind and it's been super distracting lately. And...”
It dawned on me why Judy had a series of conflicting emotions upon our arrival. Though something still gave me a bad feeling.
“And yet you wanted me to be here with you?”
Judy covered her face with her paw.
“I really don’t know how I’ll react once we get there. I just...Needed someone with me. Okay? I told you it was stupid...”
“It’s not stupid,” I said with a warm smile. “Carrots, we can go check it out whenever you’re ready.”
“Thanks, I guess…”
There was her own slightest smile as she continued to cover her face. I ruined it by talking, as usual.
“And what was the third reason we’re here?”
The smirk was gone in an instant, replaced with something else entirely. Something I couldn’t recognize. Uncertainty, maybe? A deep rooted anxiety attributed to nerves? Judy was always hard for me to read. Made harder given her history with these woods.
“...You’ll see after we check out the cliff.”
“GAH!” I shouted as I splashed violently in the water. “Cold. Cold. Cold. Cold. Cold. Cold. Freaking COLD!”
“Don’t be such a baby,” Judy called from the safety of the shore.
“Easy for you to say!”
I never remembered how much I hated getting wet until I was absolutely drenched. Hot showers could be nice, but cold water was a punishment reserved for the seventh layer of hell, as far as I was concerned.
Judy sat smiling with her feet dipped in off the side, splashing me with a few kicks.
“Not. Helping,” I growled between breaths of air. “What am I even supposed to be doing out here!?”
“Oh, right. Your workout routine…”
“Care-rots!”
There were few easier ways to break my pleasant mask than to get me soaking wet. I was cold, drenched, and miserable. And Judy was feeding off my discomfort like a leech. I saw her shuffle around the shore. She bent over and grabbed at the ground.
“Here,” she said, tossing something large in my direction. “Hold this.”
My eyes caught the glimpse of a large stone that landed a few feet from me in the water. It sunk like — well, a rock — all the way to the bottom. Through the clear ripples, I could see that it was easily the size of a bowling ball and probably just as heavy.
“You can’t be serious…”
“Yup! Go and get it. Then I’ll time you while you tread water holding it for five minutes. Sound fun?”
“No!”
“Well, it’s either that or doing laps around the pond. And that’ll take you even longer .”
The thought of spending more than five minutes in a frozen prison was all the motivation I needed to get me moving. With the dread that I was about to dip my head into the icy depths, I held my breath and dove in.
Underwater you soon realize that an object that’s normally not very heavy can suddenly weigh a ton. That was something Judy didn’t account for when she tossed the stone into the pond.
It was easy enough to grab the thing, but quite another challenge to bring it up with me to the surface. The water was about six feet deep and I couldn’t raise the rock higher than a couple of inches before it dragged me back down to the depths. Eventually, my breath gave out and I was forced to ascend to the surface. Right up to Judy’s mocking face.
“Too. Heavy,” I said between deep breaths. “Too big.”
“Size matters not.”
“Okay, Yoda...”
“Who?”
“You’re kidding me. You’ve never seen Star Boars?”
“Ohhhh. Is that the cruddy space movies with all the bad CGI?”
If I wasn’t freezing my tail off, I’d have a long sit down to articulately explain to Judy just how wrong she was if she was talking about the prequels and not the masterpieces that were the originals. But I was in no mood to get into a nerd debate with her while drowning in temperatures reserved for ice fishing.
“Alright,” I spat. “That’s it. I’m coming out. This was a horrible idea.”
“Giving up already?”
“I am frozen to the marrow. Unless I’m supposed to cleanse my mind and become a monk, I’m done.”
As I attempted to climb from the side cliff Judy was sitting on, she brought her foot down upon my head and kicked me back down into the water.
“Hey!”
“You’re not done yet. Get back in there to do some laps.”
“Can’t I just take a break today…?”
“Nope. And I have the high ground. Don’t try it.”
Now she was just mocking me, quoting one of the stupidest lines in all of the prequel movies. I looked up at her smug face, baring my teeth in a low snarl.
Two can play at that game, Carrots.
Once again, I tried to pull myself from the pond and Judy put her foot on my brow. This time, I used my other paw to grab her ankle. My quick reaction caught her completely by surprise as she let out an out-of-character shriek while I pulled her into the water with me.
Judy broke the surface and held her shoulders in a shiver.
“You suck!”
“ You suck,” I shot back.
Her retaliation was predictable, but still stinging all the same. Judy splashed a pawful of water at my face. I quickly returned the favor.
Our shouting match had devolved into a childish splash war, like we were a pair of kits taking a bath together. The former quiet of the secluded pool had been shattered completely. Somewhere in the chaos I started to laugh. Judy joined in shortly after.
Suddenly, our giggles were echoing across the canyon.
Sure, it was stupid and silly. But it was fun. A true summer moment, one that I never had in my childhood. Just on the cusp of the closing days for the season. We swam around each other before the chill got to both of us and we climbed out of the pond.
“This way,” said Judy.
A quick dry off later and we were on the path along the canyon surrounding the pond. Even just getting started on our hike, I could tell that the way was treacherous with narrow passages. Foot room was tight and I found myself hugging the rock wall as we skidded around the corners. Judy knew the way well, given her fancy footwork. I almost had a hard time believing she had a limp. She walked the cliff like she had done it a thousand times before.
“Kids actually climbed these ridges?” I asked after a particularly close call where I almost lost my balance.
“Used to. Like I said, no one comes here anymore. You have dad to thank for that.”
“Don’t tell me we’re trespassing.”
“No. The woods are state owned, so he couldn’t legally do that. But in a small town, some bad rumors are all it takes to blacklist something.”
As we left the pond behind us, the forest returned.
Suddenly, we were on a mountainside, following a trail leading over some steep cliffs. Higher and higher we climbed, our wet swimsuits squeaked as we trotted along. The air had that summer smell to it. It was a mixture of wildflowers, grass and sunshine, if you knew what that smelt like. Most of all was the quiet. Being so high up in the hills, there was nothing but the sounds we made walking and the wind cutting through the trees. It was peaceful and made me want to sit down and meditate, if I had the mind to be spiritual.
Judy’s mood petered out the higher we climbed. The silence around us did much to highlight just how quiet she was being on our journey through the thick overbrush. She took a sharp intake of air when we turned the corner around the path.
The spot looked no different from any other we passed in the woods. No distinct markers. No spotlight breaking through the treetops. Nothing to signify it was a place of particular importance.
But to Judy, it must have been like walking into a nightmare.
She became tense, like she had when she first picked up my guitar. She only eased up when she reached for the cigarette tucked into her robe’s pocket. The bite of nicotine tainted the crisp mountain air.
I let her have a few puffs before she stepped forward. She walked purposely, like she was retracing her steps. She crept closer and closer to the edge, decorated by a few overgrown bushes.
She stopped suddenly.
“It happened right here.”
The location on the road looked so ordinary that it was hard to tell exactly how Judy knew where it was. But I took her word for it.
She took another drag before speaking again.
“We were just playing here, me and a few friends. A typical romp in the woods, like we would do almost every weekend. I don’t even remember what we were talking about or what we were playing. Some stupid game. I was ahead of the pack though, leading them or something. I stopped right here…”
Judy froze in midstep.
“Boom,” she continued, tapping herself at the side of her head with her paw. “Something beamed me right in the temple. Didn’t even get to see it before I lost all control of my motor functions. I was having a concussion and stumbled.”
Judy hopped around, closer and closer to the cliff.
On instinct, I grabbed her arm before she got to the edge. She froze and looked at me, like I had just woken her up from a dream. She then let out a sigh filled with tobacco smoke.
“I don’t remember anything about the landing. Don’t even recall what it felt like when the rock at the bottom snapped my leg in two. I must have been in shock. But I remember the fall. There’s something terrifying about going into freefall when you least expect it. The ground’s there, but then suddenly it’s not. You wildly wave around, hoping to catch something to hold onto. But there’s nothing. And you can only wait until the landing comes. It’s not a slow thing either, like the movies make it look. It happens instantly. You don’t even have time to scream before you hit the ground.”
There was a time to speak and a time to keep quiet. And I knew Judy wasn’t looking for conversation at that moment. She stared down at the ravine. A twenty foot drop filled with sharp rocks at the bottom.
“I wanna go down there,” she said, shifting her arm within my grip. “I want to find the rock.”
My breathing stopped suddenly when Judy fixed it so that we were holding paws.
Take it easy, Nick. She’s just looking for comfort in all this.
I tried to ignore my increasing heart rate as we descended down one of the side paths. Judy used my greater weight to support herself and anchor us as we skipped down the slippery slope. Rocks crumbled from the dirt around us and every step had to be made with care. I held onto skinny trees which dotted the cliffside.
The ravine itself was not unlike the pond we had just come from. The only difference was the lack of water, though there was a small stream slipping between the cracks of the rocks. It was a graveyard of boulders, various shapes and sizes. Jagged teeth of the earth that reminded me of fangs. Even when we hit the bottom, we still had trouble navigating the rugged terrain.
Judy did not release my paw.
She looked up at the pathway we had just come from, trying to map the location of her fall off the cliff. I helped her by being her support on the ground, guiding her so she wouldn’t trip over the many large boulders littering the crevice.
We came to a stop at one rock.
To me, it looked no different than all the others besides its secluded location right at the foot of the cliff. It had a wedge shape, its top honed into a blade bigger than the two of us combined. While staring at it, I didn’t notice the pressure in my paw until it started to hurt. Judy was crushing me with her grip.
And she was starting to hyperventilate.
“Hey,” I said, holding her by the shoulder. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”
Judy spat out her unfinished cigarette on the ground and buried her head into my chest.
Taken aback by her sudden form of affection I did the only sensible thing I could think of and patted her on the back. She was shuddering with her strained breath and collected herself after a few moments.
She then broke away from me, sniffing and wiping her nose.
“I’m being stupid…”
“You’re not being stupid,” I promised her. “You need a moment?”
She took a few more breaths.
“No...No, I’m good. I’ll deal with it.”
She faced the boulder again with a ragged breath. I said nothing as we stared at the rock in complete silence.
“I thought this would do something,” she said. “You know? Like I’d come out here with a sledgehammer and smash the dumb thing into a million pieces.”
“Would that make you feel better?”
“No. It doesn’t give me my leg back.”
Judy reached into her pocket for another cigarette. She grunted when she found her pack empty.
“It’s just...When I was a kid, I was so sure I was going to be a police officer. Nothing else seemed so certain in life. Then I woke up in the hospital and had a doctor explain to me that it wasn’t physically possible for me to pursue that career anymore. It’s like...What am I supposed to do now? You know? Where do I even go from here? What good am I to anyone? And...And…”
She started to sniff again.
“Oh, god,” she muttered, covering her eyes. “I’m such an idiot…”
I offered my paw for her shoulder again, but she just shrugged it off. No pity for Judy Hopps. She wouldn’t let herself have any. She didn’t let anyone see her weaknesses. Yet there she was, standing there at the bottom of the gulley crying in front of me. Probably more vulnerable than she had ever been around anyone else before in her life.
What can I do?
I knew this would be tough from the moment she suggested the idea. But it was harder to not agree to go along. This was a personal battle. I knew what those were like. At the end of the day, Judy was going to have to confront her past sooner or later. The most I could do, as a companion, was be there for her.
Be there and talk her through it.
“Remember what I asked you yesterday, Carrots? About what you wanted to do with these guitar lessons?”
Judy’s ears perked for just a moment as she continued to face away from me, wiping at her eyes.
“...Yeah. What about it?”
“Well...Maybe the answer to what you do now is focus on music.”
Judy remained quiet for a long time.
“...It’s not.”
“Why isn’t it?” I asked. “Seriously, Carrots. You could be an amazing guitar player. You put so much effort into it. You got as good as me in a month, and I’ve been playing for years.”
“It’s just...It’s just not, okay?”
There was an audible quiver in her voice.
Common sense was warning me not to press the issue further, knowing full well that Judy had a quick temper to these things. But I had to push a little harder. To me, it made no sense with all she had given in practicing. And she was always the one to tell me to push harder.
“Well, then what is it? You love music, I’ve seen it.”
“I do...But...That’s not why I wanted to learn guitar.”
I felt my heart skip a beat. A part of me knew what she meant and I kept silent if only so I didn’t have to confirm what I was afraid of.
Judy took a big sigh before she continued.
“I mean...Look, yes. That’s why I originally wanted to learn. To prove to myself that I could do it. But then it became confusing and...And...This is not how I wanted all of this to go.”
Though she was facing me, she still had her head in her paw. Eyes wide shut.
“...Look,” she said. “We’ve been hanging out all month together. I’ve probably been around you more than even my own family this whole summer.”
“What about your friends?” I asked.
Judy gave a short, angry huff.
“What friends? I haven’t spoken to anyone around the burrow since Andrew got into his accident. And none of them ever really cared about me anyway. They’re all just going to leave for school next month…”
She looked up at me with a frown, letting me know she was telling the sad truth.
“Anyway. This...This is about you and me. A part of me liked the attention you gave me during the lessons. It was...Nice to care about something for a change. You were patient with me. You never pushed or looked down on me. And...I dunno. I guess I wanted to impress you. It felt...Great. It was great to have something I was good at again. And you relied on me too with your exercise. For once, I had something I could wake up to everyday. Something I could look forward to.”
That struck a chord deep in my chest and I instinctively reached for my heart.
“...But then, I started noticing things. Stupid things. Like how we’d hang out even though we weren’t doing anything remotely related to practice. Stupid stuff like back at the pond...And last week...I dunno. It just...Something feels different.”
She looked right at me, cautious and vulnerable. Purple met green.
“Am I missing something here? Am I crazy for thinking that it might be more than just our deal with each other? Am I...Stupid for feeling like this about you?”
This is where I’m supposed to tell you that we kissed and started a beautiful relationship together as the credits rolled for the romance movie you’ve been watching.
But life doesn’t work like that.
The truth was I wasn’t being blind to the subtle changes between Judy and I over the course of the last month.
I noticed everything. Every look we gave each other. Every joke that had more than one meaning. Every touch. I was just choosing to ignore it all.
It was cowardly, in hindsight. Going on pretending that I didn’t enjoy our time together as much as I was. In my rut around the burrows, I had stumbled upon something that I hadn’t ever thought I wanted before. Something so simple and beautiful. And, as Judy had put it, it made me feel great.
But it also terrified me.
I just kept thinking about the scouts. And about prom. Thinking I had everything all figured out only for the rug to be pulled out from under me. Putting my trust in people and opening up to learn a lesson the hard way. Once the doubt creeped in, the other details came easier to add as fuel for the fire.
She’s eighteen, Nick. And a rabbit. And a punk when you’re a cop. And the mayor’s daughter. The thought of losing my job was enough to stem any budding feelings from ever reaching the surface. I should have said something to her, at that point. Stop it before things had come to this.
But I couldn’t just ruin our friendship. I did, truly, appreciate our time together. I just wished, with all my heart, that we could stay as friends and the summer could go on forever. Or that my intuition had been wrong.
I couldn’t trust someone like that again. Or thought I couldn’t. Not yet.
And so, there I was. Standing at the bottom of a ravine about to make a complete jerk of myself to a good bunny who had just opened her heart to me. A bunny that was starting to mean a greater deal to me than I could ever imagine.
My mouth went dry as I repeated Judy’s words for the seventh time in my head. Like analyzing them would reveal a meaning beyond the obvious. But there was only one unanimous conclusion.
She likes you, Nick.
My heart was palpitating faster, like when I’d go jogging. I thought it was the fear setting in.
No. No, we can’t do this...
“You’re not stupid,” I said. “Carrots, don’t ever call yourself stupid. You’re one of the most amazing mammals I’ve ever met. You’re smart and you’re dedicated. And you’re going to be a great musician.”
Judy stared intently at me as I took longer than a normal moment of silence to speak again.
“...But?” She asked.
I swallowed my words.
“...But...I don’t think it would be…We just can’t...”
I turned away from her. There was no easy way to say this.
I thought getting rejected for prom in front of the entire school was the hardest thing that ever happened to me. It was so much worse to be on the other end. I felt like a complete jerk.
Judy made it easier for me.
“...I get it,” she said. “It’s fine. You’re not interested.”
She let out a huff of laughter and wiped at her nose.
“...Carrots, I’m so sorry—”
“It’s fine,” she repeated with a soft but commanding voice. “It’s fine, dumb fox.”
It felt like someone was playing kick the can with my heart as Judy turned around to face the rock instead. The thing that broke her leg provided more comfort for her than I did.
“I’d like to be alone,” she said as she pointed back at the cliff from which we climbed. “Please.”
It was hard to say no, especially to such a pained request. The small stream of water running between my legs played as a cadence in the air. Despite Judy’s assurances, I knew that everything was not fine. But what could I even say to her? I had told her the truth. I just had to hope for the best.
With a heavy sigh, I turned to leave, hoping I wouldn’t get lost in the woods as I climbed up the cliff.
Chapter 20: Track 20: “Methadone”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Judy stopped showing up to practice that week, making me feel even worse.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. Hard to suddenly face someone again after spilling your guts like that. Over and over, I wished I hadn’t pushed her to come out to me. And where she broke her leg, of all places…
I tried looking around town for her during the work day, using the old excuse of traffic duty. But I could never find her, wherever she had hidden herself away. And to approach her at her home would invite all sorts of questions from her parents that I didn’t want to answer. Especially after her confession to me. So, I kept it as professional as I could.
Certainly wasn’t hard to keep busy.
Summer was winding down and that meant that Bunnyburrow was seeing an influx of activity as all the farmers prepared for harvest. More scurries meant more problems for the police and, for once, our phone line saw its use.
Mostly, it involved trivial matters. A few traffic incidents involving tractors attempting to cross the street and getting stuck in potholes. Minor theft accusations concerning crops that had gone missing, only for them to turn up at the bottom of the wagon. Simple stuff. But it had me running around the burrow and taking my mind off Judy. Hank took over the station, handling the calls and directing me over the radio. He wasn’t just kicking back and drinking beer with the sheriff out on the town though. I had it on good authority from Humphrey that she was putting him to work involving the Labor Day party. He confirmed it by complaining over the radio.
“Nick, where would you get avocado?”
“A bit exotic for the burrows,” I replied. “A tad out of place, being it's not a native fruit. You’d have to go to the grocery store.”
“Avocado’s a fruit? But it’s green!”
“So’s watermelon. Don’t judge it because of how it appears on the outside. What would you even need avocado for?”
“Guacamole,” he said, solemnly. “Humphrey put me on food duty for the party next month. She has me collecting all the supplies we need and working on a tight budget. It’s cheaper just to make all the things from scratch.”
“I didn’t take you for a cook, Hank.”
“Humphrey insisted I’d be good at it.”
“Well, just make sure you don’t buy the avocados too early. They tend to ripen rather quickly.”
“Maybe you should be the one to handle the food then, if you know so much about these things.”
“It’s called common sense,” I said, kicking up my feet on the dashboard of the parked cruiser. “Something I’ve been lacking lately. So, I’m probably not the best choice to dump that job on. Besides, I have my own task assigned by Humphrey.”
In truth, the musical entertainment part of the Labor Day party was the furthest thing from my mind. It’d take a cruel mammal to push Judy into doing it after I had just ripped her heart out. Not that I was doing much better on my own.
Adulting was the worst decision I had ever made in my life.
It took an immense amount of self-control to not mope around while on duty. Even just talking to Hank required wearing a false mask to hide just how I was really feeling. There was a ten foot pit in my chest. And every time my subconscious tried clawing out of it, the sides would give way and he’d just tumble back in. It was like trying to climb a ladder slick with oil. Coupled with a sense of self-beratement.
It had been awhile since I willingly thought back to prom.
Never in my life did I think I’d find myself relating to Angel, on some level. Sure, Angel was cold hearted in how she handled my rejection. But was there really any good way to reject someone? I tried to put Judy down as gently as I possibly could have and it still was painful. There was no way anyone was going to walk away happy from that kind of situation unless I had mutual feelings for her.
And I had convinced myself I didn’t.
It was my fault for pushing her to reveal her heart. I should have been patient and let it come out more naturally. Then let her down gently over time. What was done was done though. And I had a job to patch things up with all that remained. I owed Judy that much.
Friday rolled around and still no sign of Judy.
I had been keeping my workout regular on my own, repeating the various exercises she had shown me from memory. Once you fell into a routine, it was hard to break it. But I was also starting to lose my motivation for even getting up at six in the morning. My body was there. Just not my spirit.
It was at the end of the week that I was starting to get desperate, and it showed in my actions. I’d stop by her usual haunts around town when I got off duty. The train station. The park. And even the woods. There was no sign of her. Not even a paint can left behind.
Each failure only made me feel worse and I was beginning to get worried that I had scared her out of the burrow entirely. I knew she wasn’t so fragile as to let that happen. But I made sure to go up and down the train tracks every time I passed them. Just to be safe. The Hopps had not reported any missing mammals yet, which was the only relief in my vigil.
On Saturday morning, I didn’t want to get up.
I just couldn’t be asked to. I woke up at the usual time of 6 AM and just stared at the ceiling, counting the minutes until work. I skipped over my exercise entirely, making me feel worse. Between everything on my mind, I was debating just calling in sick. I had saved up enough days off and was sure Hank wouldn’t mind holding down the fort on a Saturday, the slowest of days.
At around 7 AM, I made the phone call confirming my decision.
I was certainly playing the part of a bedridden fox well, a thin sheet over my shirtless body as I laid in my boxers. All I needed was someone to bring me in some soup to fit the picture perfectly. But there was no one to comfort me as I wallowed in self pity. Even Gideon wouldn’t be back from work for several hours with the summer stress kicking up around the town hall. Reluctantly, I did what any modern mammal would do when bored and consulted my phone.
Outside of the odd phone call, I hardly used the thing recently. Judy had installed a bunch of games on it to play whenever we had some downtime together. I sighed heavily, looking through the screen cluttered with apps and scrolled for my contacts. Depressingly empty, as usual. My most recent text was with mom. Jack was a few days ago.
I didn’t feel like having another guilt trip talk with mom concerning grandkids, so I opened up the app for Jack instead. It was filled with the usual dull conversation, the passive aggressive back and forth we had been spewing at each other the past month. I figured it wasn’t like he could make me feel worse about everything and took the leap.
[Heyy.]
Simple opening. Two “y’s” on the “hey” to show I meant the message to be lighthearted and approachable. One “y” would have come off as aggressive and three was reserved for flirting. Basic texting etiquette established between the two of us.
[Hey.]
Omph. He was giving me absolutely nothing to work with and hinting that my approach was unwelcomed.
Something told me that I should have dropped the attempt at conversation immediately. But I was in dire need to talk to someone and Jack was the only person who I could think of to listen to my woes. That wasn’t to say I was going to purposely antagonize Jack. But I kept the conversation simple.
[Taking my first sick day off in the burrow.]
[Are you actually sick?]
[In a sense. Just didn’t feel like going in.]
Come on. Take the bait, Jack. You know you want to ask me what’s wrong.
[Why? What did you do?]
That was certainly one way to put it. It was kind of a brutal assumption though. Even if it was accurate. In a sense.
[Hey, now. What makes you think I did something wrong?]
[Call it a hunch. It has to do with that rabbit, doesn’t it?]
Sharp detective skills, as always. Probably helped with the fact that mom had been drip-feeding him information about my life in the burrows the past month. I needed to start by setting the records straight so Jack wasn’t going off baseless assumptions. The first step was laying some ground rules.
[She has a name, you know. And it does but it doesn’t. I’ll tell you the whole story, if you promise to be on your best behavior. No snarky commentary.]
There was a slight pause between messages.
[Wow. You must have really messed things up.]
[Jack...That’s your final warning.]
[Alright, alright. If you’re going to break our silence, it must be important. I’m all ears.]
Leave it to Jack to make one of the most infuriating rabbit puns of all time. I sighed and rolled over in my bed. I had his attention but didn’t know where I could even begin.
[So, I figured out a way to get into ZPD.]
[That’s good.]
[The problem is that it requires impressing a scout from the ZPD at the Labor Day party in the burrows. And the best way to do that is compete in the games.]
[That’s bad.]
Jack knew better than anyone just how well equipped I was to deal with physical activity.
[...So, I needed some help. And Judy has been helping me with training and exercise.]
Jack’s icon signified he was typing on and off. I could tell that he was writing his messages and then deleting them. Probably trying to approach the statement as diplomatically as he could.
[Not judging, but is she qualified for that?]
I rolled my eyes. [No more than you were.]
[Fair point. I guess someone who did the junior academy twelve times would know what she’s doing, in some regard. When I heard you were working out again though…]
[What? You don’t think I can do it on my own?]
[You’re very hard to motivate, Nick. But I guess it makes sense she’d be on paw after she befriended you.]
There was a long pause as Jack typed again.
[Now, don’t yell at me. But are you sure she’s not training you to manipulate you?]
[She’s not.]
[Sorry. I had to ask. But what makes you so sure then?]
[Because,] my sighs were getting closer to growls. [I’m helping her by giving her guitar lessons in return. We made a deal with each other.]
[Oh.]
I gave Jack a moment to process the agreement I had made with Judy a month ago. If I knew him, he was analyzing every possible outcome to prove that his original assumptions about Judy hadn’t been false.
[Okay. Maybe I was wrong about her?]
Then why phrase it like a question, Jack?
But I knew this was about as close to an apology I was going to get with him. Jack wasn’t a bad hare. But he made my ego look like a balloon with string compared to his massive blimp. Jack Savage didn’t make mistakes. Other mammals simply changed the rules on him.
[So,] he continued. [Why does she want to learn guitar?]
[Well...That’s sort of where the problem started.]
[Oh, boy…]
[The last month we’ve been doing this deal, right? She trains me every morning, and I teach her every night.]
[I think I can tell where this is going…]
[Alright, smart-buck. Where is this going?]
[You ended up hanging out with each other more and one of you started getting feelings for the other.]
I stared blankly at my phone for a few minutes before assembling my response.
[How did you know?]
[One. You’re terrible with women. Two. It’s obvious. That is one of the most played out, textbook definitions of how folks meet. It’s been done before. Remember those rom-coms you showed me?]
We had put on Zuno once in our movie nights after hearing good things about it only to be somewhat disappointed by the end of it. Full of pretentious dialogue but at least it was memorable. The ones Jack was talking about could have been countless of other movies we had seen together over the years.
[Alright, I get your point.]
[So, what happened exactly?]
[Long story short? Last week she said she was feeling something for me and I turned her down. Haven’t seen her since.]
[Yeah, that’s not vague at all.]
[Sorry. I just don’t think she’d appreciate me going into specifics. She already snoops on my phone enough and will probably hate me if she ever reads this. If we patch things up, anyway...]
[Well, do you feel the same way about her?]
I had gone over the list of reasons why that wasn’t an option in my head so many times that my paws moved on their own as I typed.
[She’s eighteen. She’s a delinquent. She’s the mayor’s daughter. And she’s a rabbit.] I paused before adding a quick addition. [No offense to you.]
[You didn’t answer my question. Do you feel the same way despite all those things?]
[I don’t…] I typed out before quickly deleting the response. [What do you mean?]
[This is enough for you to fake being sick and mope around in bed all day over. And I’ve seen you get hung up on a girl before. So, your actions are kind of betraying you here, buddy.]
[But I turned her down.]
[Alright. Pretend that the reasons you listed don’t exist. She’s a fox your age with a university degree and has parents that won’t fire you from your job. Would that be what you want from her?]
I thought for a moment as my mind rearranged those elements. The new vision was someone so far from who Judy was that I couldn’t even call her the same person.
[No. It wouldn’t be the same.]
Another pause on Jack’s end.
[This is just my professional opinion, Nick. But do you think the thing with Angel broke you a bit? Like, you won’t give anyone a chance after you got your heart stomped on?]
[It’s not like that.]
[Then what is it?]
[It’s…] I deleted my response again. [Why do you care? You keep ping ponging with what your thoughts are about Judy. What? Do you suddenly think she’s good for me or something?]
[Well, she certainly got you motivated enough to push for this thing. But I could care less about the dumb bunny. It’s you I’m worried about.]
This was a conversation we had had before. Maybe not in this exact context, but suddenly I was back on the streets of Zootopia busking for a living. Jack was standing in front of me, primed and prepped to go into community college to begin his career as a police officer. Meanwhile, I was sitting down on a flattened cardboard box looking more like a bum than a musician. My tin can filled with loose change from passing patrons.
[I have been,] Jack continued. [And always will be looking out for you. If this bunny is what makes you happy, then I’m all for it. But I can’t save you from yourself, Nick. Lord knows, I’ve tried. I fought hard to keep you close to the city. What? You think I like losing family?]
There was a long wait while Jack assembled his next paragraph.
[You’re important to me, Nick. You’re one of the only mammals I still have left as a real friend. Since the thing with the scouts, you’ve been a brother to me. But you’re so self-destructive. It’s like sometimes you want to fail just to prove those little scout brats right. So, I keep my eye on you. Sometimes I overstep my boundaries, and I’d be the first to admit that. But I do what I have to in order to keep you safe, be it the scouts or Angel. You and Marla are all I have left.]
Marla was my mother’s first name. She once slapped me on the back of the head for calling her that. But she allowed it for Jack.
[So, how do you think I feel? Sitting here in Zootopia, listening to my best friend facing cruel problems all on his own? Bigoted town. Twisted politicians. And a punk driving you nuts. You’ve been on your own there for a while now. You’ve done good so far. But if this one thing broke you down, how long can you last?]
I fiddled with the keys for a moment. [I need to make my own mistakes too, Jack.]
[I get that. But I can’t help but feel like you’re making a huge one right now. At the end of the day, all I want — All I ever wanted — Was for you to be happy. If being with this rabbit, Judy, makes you happy then I say you go for it and see how it ends.]
[If that’s what you have to say then why are you so wishy-washy about it?]
Jack played the silent game for some time.
[...Would you believe me if I said I was jealous of her?]
[Would you believe me if I said they grow cotton candy on bushes here in the burrow? True story.]
It was mean to poke fun at Jack, especially given how rare it was for him to admit he had been wrong. But I simply couldn’t resist.
[Very funny. I was being serious, jerkwad. I think I just got scared that, if you made friends with her, you wouldn’t want to ever come back to the city.]
[Jack, come on. You know I have room in my heart for two bunnies.]
[You just...Know how I get with losing folks. Or being forgotten.]
[That’s not going to happen, bud. Don’t worry. I’m not your dad.]
[I know. But thanks all the same, Nick. Sorry for ignoring you last month.]
[I think we’re both a little guilty on that one. I’m sorry too.]
It took me a moment to realize I had been sitting up in bed. Our conversation had gotten a little heated but now that it was winding down I found myself more awake in the darkness of my bedroom. And the hunger for food in my belly was setting in.
But it was good to have Jack back again.
[So...What are you going to do about the other bunny?]
[I’ll let you know after I have some breakfast.]
Gideon still wasn’t back yet. The mayor must have been working him real hard with the harvest season coming up. This also showed in the food that was available to me in the kitchen. Gideon had been slacking in bringing home the baked goods, with our once proud fridge starting to look a little barren. I needed some comfort food. Not some sludge muscle powder or dry nuts. Blueberry yogurt and granola. The closest thing I could get to ice cream while on my diet.
As I sat on the couch with my treat in paw, I pondered what to do with my day off.
It had been a long time since I was hurting for something to entertain myself with in the burrow. I couldn’t exactly go out and about the town either if I was supposed to be sick. Though who hadn’t faked being sick once in their life? That left me with what was around the apartment. I glanced at my possessions from the sofa. My guitar was leaning against the coffee table, same as it always was and untouched since last week when Judy visited. There were boxes of movies scattered around next to it.
I let out a weighted sigh. Even the things I used to enjoy were reminding me of her. My positive talk with Jack was slowly fading away in the empty loneliness of my den.
Maybe I should just go into work...
I turned my attention to the guitar case. The instrument felt foreign in my paws. It had been seeing so much use from Judy that it almost didn’t feel like mine anymore. The new strings I had attached a month ago were already starting to see some wear and looseness to them. Or maybe that was just my imagination. Regardless, I was playing poorly as my fingers worked their way down the fret.
My tail frizzed from the occasional clumsy missed string. My paws felt like two solid bricks as they fumbled along the strings. I was probably being a harsher judge on myself than was merited, given my break from practice. But there wasn’t any flow to it. The internal beat inside me had gone quiet. In a fit of frustration, I dropped the guitar on the couch.
Even music wasn’t comforting and the strings of the guitar hummed in an angry vibration after I had discarded them. I soon realized it wasn’t just the strings making noise in the apartment.
The door knob was wriggling, like someone was trying to open it from the outside. Good. Gideon’s finally home. I could use the company.
But it wasn’t a fox, like I was expecting, in the frame. It was a rabbit. A punk rabbit, to be precise.
“Oh.”
Judy turned away from me the moment she laid eyes on me. Bandages were wrapped on the fingers of her right paw as they released the door knob.
“I didn’t...Think you’d be home.”
She was going to leave, giving me no time to even consider why she was there. I rose from the sofa and said the first thing that came to my lips.
“Carrots, wait.”
Judy froze with her back turned to me. Deep down, it hurt to see her leave. I followed up my request to her with something softer to ease the blow.
“Please.”
She sighed. I could smell the stench of cigarettes on her breath, even from the couch. She probably was up to two packs a day, given the potency of it on her person. I was afraid I’d see tears in her eyes when she turned around. But Judy was tougher than that. She’d never let anyone see they got to her in a direct confrontation.
Well, Nick. You have her attention. Now what?
As I struggled to form the words in my mouth, I wished I had given Jack a clearer answer earlier so that I might have something to say to Judy.
Well, do you feel the same way about her?
I didn’t know. And staring at her, face to face, was no way to drag an answer out of me. But I had to give her something, if only so I didn’t look like an idiot for stopping her after standing there half-naked in my apartment.
“Carrots, I—”
“I was being stupid,” Judy spoke at the same time I did.
We looked at each other, prompting the other to continue. I nodded to allow her to finish her thought. Ladies first, after all.
“I was being selfish. And immature.”
“Carrots…”
“I was,” she admitted with a shrug. “We’ve only known each other for a short time. And we’re incredibly...Different. I know that. But you gave me your attention. Your respect. And I misunderstood what that meant. Because I’m terrible with emotions and stuff...”
Judy’s ears lowered and she looked to her feet.
“I’m only going to say this once,” she continued. “If anyone asks, I’ll deny it. But you’re a good fox. And a better friend. Better than any friend I’ve ever had.”
My paw had unconsciously moved to my heart as Judy spoke.
“So...So, I don’t want to ever ruin that. If it’s possible, then I’d like for us to...Just forget what I said. Forget it ever happened. I know that’s kind of weird. And it will be awkward. But I can deal with it if you can.”
Her determined voice lowered and she suddenly held herself close.
“So, can we move past this? Please?”
For a moment, I had forgotten Judy was eighteen. Hearing something so mature come out of her mouth without there being an insult attached to the end of it made it hard to believe it was really her I was talking to. I stammered a bit before smiling.
“...Of course, we can.”
I didn’t realize Judy was holding her breath until she let out her heavy sigh.
“...Thank god. I thought I messed everything up.”
“You didn’t mess anything up, Carrots. I’m sorry things ended like it did. It was never my intention to mislead you like that or send the wrong message. But I’d like to keep being friends with you too. And a misunderstanding should never come between friends.”
“Yeah...I guess I’m just not used to...You know...Having friends. I’m sorry too. For, uh, bailing on you like that. This week.”
I frowned as she shifted around the floor, holding her shoulders close in a clear defensive posture.
“Need to hug it out?”
I offered with arms open wide, thinking she’d just scoff at me.
“...Okay.”
I honestly didn’t expect her to accept my embrace. I figured it was too emotional for a bunny like Judy. But given what she had just told me, I shouldn’t have been surprised and I needed to watch what I was doing. This is just a friendly hug of comfort, Nick. Don’t send the wrong message.
But she was warm. And underneath the scent of tobacco was an aroma of lavender. I decided to deflect the moment with some humor, completely spoiling the sentimentality of it all.
“So, that means you admit we’re friends then?” I asked.
Judy was hesitant to answer. “...Yeah?”
“Does that mean I get to call you Judy now?”
She groaned. Mission accomplished. The sappy moment was completely ruined.
“Don’t,” she ordered. “It sounds weird coming out of your mouth.”
“Ouch. You wound me, Judy.”
“I’ll do a lot more than that if you call me that again.”
There was the violent delinquent I had come to know and love. Judy pulled away from me as to not embarrass herself further. She wiped at her nose with a sniff, trying to hide a smirk. Well, that couldn’t have gone more awkwardly. But I was relieved it was over and wanted to let out a chuckle. I got my two best rabbit friends back, all in one morning. And it was nice to see Judy again.
Though one question still remained…
“So,” I began. “Why did you come to my apartment if you didn’t think I’d be here?”
Judy sheepishly rubbed the back of her head, showing her bandaged fingers again.
“Well, I…”
Her voice trailed off at the sound of heavy footsteps outside my apartment. The door had been left ajar upon Judy’s arrival. No tie for a warning. This time it was an expected guest, if unwanted at that exact moment in time.
Gideon Grey walked in with an exhausted expression of fatigue on his face. His vibrant red fur went pale when he looked up and saw Judy staring right at him. I could hear Judy stop breathing.
“Uh,” said Gideon. “Hi.”
Notes:
Welcome to cliffhanger hell. See you all next week, I hope!
Chapter 21: Track 21: “Tragedy + Time”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Know that feeling you get when you lean back in your chair too far and you start falling?
That was the sensation going down my spine when Gideon Grey walked through the door. Despite the friendliest smile he could manage—though perhaps too friendly given a fox’s pronounced fangs—Judy looked like her instincts were telling her to either bolt or tackle him. I could only raise my paws in the vain attempt to stop the impending scene.
It was like watching a bomb explode in slow motion.
Judy glanced to Gideon. Then to me. Then back to Gid. I could tell that she was slowly processing why her most hated enemy, someone who had stolen her childhood dreams from her, had just walked right through my apartment door. Her purple eyes were wide and full of simmering rage. Jack’s got the same way whenever he was serious about something. The pupils that seemed to slit close together, like a cat’s.
Judy turned to me again. “Do you know who he is?”
“Carrots, this is not—”
“Do you,” she sharply interrupted me. “Know who he is?”
Lying would just make things worse. For both Gideon and for me. Not that I wanted to entirely protect the hapless fox for what he had done. But I was still a police officer. And Judy had on a look that could kill.
I gulped and closed my eyes. “I do.”
Judy huffed through her nose like an angry bull, perhaps impressed that I had the stones to tell the truth to her face. I had a feeling that was the only thing that saved me from her wrath.
“How long?” she asked.
“Since June. A week after your birthday.”
“And why?”
By that question, I assumed she meant why I had hidden this from her. To that, there was only one answer I could give.
“I would have told you the truth if you asked. I just didn’t want to upset you. And I was afraid of what might happen if you knew…”
Judy snorted. I had messed up badly and she knew it.
There just never was a good time to bring this up. Oh, by the way, Judy. My roommate is the one who broke your leg. No hard feelings, right? Not to mention my promise to Gideon. Though hindsight told me I should have never left it up to him. This was the worst possible time to reveal his presence.
“Listen, Judy,” Gideon tried to intervene. “Nick didn’t tell you because I asked him not to. I was—”
“You don’t get to talk,” Judy snapped back. “You lost that right the moment you threw that rock at me, Gideon Grey.”
“O-Okay, that’s fair…”
Judy huffed indignantly at his words.
“Fair? You don’t know the meaning of the word fair. Is it fair that I have to spend the rest of my life with a metal hip, taking medication after having operations that almost put my family into debt? Is it fair that I have never-ending nights of pain keeping me up and constant nightmares of falling off a cliff when I do finally pass out? Is it fair that the only thing I ever wanted was ripped from me before I could even step foot into the academy?”
Gideon couldn’t keep eye contact with Judy during her rant and glanced to the floor for comfort.
“No,” Judy growled. “You don’t get to look away either, Gideon Grey. Look at me. Look at what you did. Am I everything you expected I would be? Are you happy you managed to bring me down to your level?”
The fox shivered and shook his head.
Judy scowled and approached Gideon. She grasped him by the neck of his collar and pulled him down to her face.
“You ruined my life. And looking at you now? I wish I had gone for your neck and not your ear.”
“Okay,” I couldn’t stand by when physical threats were being made. “That’s enough, Carrots. Let him go.”
Judy didn’t even glance at me. “What? You’re taking his side?”
“No, I’m trying to stop you before you do something you’ll regret.”
Judy released Gideon’s neck and glowered at me. The hurt in her eyes was enough to sting even the coldest parts of my heart.
Judy’s anger had given way to pain of the coarsest kind. The words she had tossed at Gideon had been held deep inside her for a long time. Pent up like an angry flame. Things that she could only say to his face to relieve herself of them. But after they were spoken, there wasn’t anything left to support her. It was the violent downdraft of a burning building, leaving behind nothing but smoking ruins and a collapsed house.
The tears forming were enough of a giveaway of the raw emotions playing in Judy’s head.
“I thought you were my friend,” she said.
“Friends push,” I replied.
She put a paw to her face, covering her eyes just as the tears began to spill. Her mouth contorted into an anguished expression of pure grief. Her voice choked under the sudden outburst, bursting like a broken fire hydrant while her body trembled like the last leaf on an autumn tree.
“You suck. You both suck.”
Blinded by her paw, Judy stumbled out of the room. She couldn’t leave the apartment with Gideon blocking the way, so she retreated to the back rooms instead. I heard the door to my bedroom slam shut, followed by the sound of sobbing.
Both Gideon’s and my ears were down. We stared at each other, confused and wondering what to do next. I opted for a bit of levity given the circumstances.
“...Well, this has been quite a morning.”
Gideon was taken aback by my smart mouth. He nervously patted the missing part of his ear.
“Y-Yeah…”
I sighed and collapsed into the couch. My cup of yogurt and guitar were discarded off to the side. I patted the cushion next to me to beckon Gideon.
“Sit,” I commanded. “Let’s give her a minute. But I want to chat in the meantime.”
Gideon hesitated, not that I could blame him. I wouldn’t be very trusting of anyone either after getting screamed at for a good solid minute. But he didn’t keep me waiting, though he continued to shift around on the cushions uncomfortably.
“So, let’s start with a simple question,” I said, keeping my voice neutral. “Why are you coming home from work so late?”
Gideon breathed a little easier at my first inquiry.
“Stu kept me a lot later than usual for my shift to clean up a coffee accident in the break room. And I had to make a call after.”
“Makes sense,” I sighed. “I suppose I owe you an apology. Sorry for not giving you some kind of warning that Judy was here. Though, to be fair, it’s only been like five minutes since she came over.”
“I, uh, actually knew she’d be here.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “How’d you figure that?”
“Well,” Gideon muttered, rubbing the back of his head. “Since Monday she’s been coming over after you leave for work, breaking in through our front door.”
“What? Why?”
“To play guitar, I think...I dunno. I never asked. I just heard her in the morning after you left for work and peeked my head out from the door when she first came over. Panicked when I saw her sitting there on the couch, but she didn’t notice me being too involved in her music. I stayed inside my room every day since then and let her play. After all, she wasn’t doing anything else.”
“So, a known rabbit delinquent breaks into our home and you don’t do anything about it? Or even think to tell me?”
Gideon shuddered. “I-I just...I dunno. I didn’t want to leave a note out of fear she’d find it and know I was there. It was like clockwork. Every morning after you left for work, she’d break in and play and sing until around 5 PM. Then she’d leave—”
“Wait, a minute,” I interrupted him. “She’s been singing ?”
“Singing and playing all day, yeah…”
In all our lessons together Judy never, not even once, tried singing while playing. When I first prompted her with the idea, she shrugged it off in her usual manner. Too embarrassing to do , she said. I’m here to learn guitar, not how to sing. Not that singing while playing was unusual. But it was something more reserved for performance than practice. Not all guitarists were singers, though typically they were the first choice in bands of the main three: bass, drums, and guitar.
I did the math quickly in my head.
“So, you’re telling me she’s been playing everyday nonstop for eight hours straight? At least?”
“Y-Yeah?”
“Well, that explains the bandages,” I muttered, flexing my own fingers.
It was one thing to play for a couple of hours a day. Your claws and fingers had a little time to heal so there wasn’t any major damage. After all, most mammals used their nails to pick the strings. Over time, you eventually wore that nail down. The longer you played, the more worn your claws got. After a while, that would extend to cutting your fingers next, which is what must have happened to Judy. Professionals usually opted to use guitar picks, regardless if they had claws at all. That wasn’t even including the calluses that naturally formed from working the frets.
This only brought up more questions. I had thought Judy had given up on practice. Instead, she had turned around and doubled down. I felt the stinging guilt of abandoning my own workout for the day. What had I been doing with myself while she trailed ahead of me?
“I’ve, uh, I’ve been thinking,” Gideon spoke up though he couldn’t look at me. “Since knowing she comes over, I’ve been wondering all week on how to approach her. You were right. I need to apologize for what I’ve done.”
“And yet you stumbled on in here without a second thought.”
“I was worried she had stopped showing up. Usually you would hear her music by this time of day. Didn’t think you would be here.”
“I was playing hooky,” I admitted.
“Well, we’re both guilty of something then.”
“What would you even say to her?” I wondered, feeling just how in over his head the fox was. “Especially since she just read you the riot act. What could you possibly do to make it up to her?”
“I figured if I stole one dream from her, I could help her start another. And that gave me an idea when I talked to some friends to prep for today.”
“Oh? This I gotta hear…”
I collected some supplies I was sure Judy was going to need once the crying had died down. A glass of water to rehydrate and a box of tissues. All was quiet in the apartment, with Gideon waiting patiently in the living room for my return from the lion’s den. I put an ear to the door and listened. Not a sound inside.
I knocked. “Hey. Can I come in?”
A steady mumble came as a reply. Not angry-sounding, which was a good sign. And at least Judy didn’t try climbing out the window to escape. I stepped inside.
Judy was on my bed, head in her paw and her eyeliner running. She shot me a tired glance and sniffed up some snot. No doubt the gifts I was bearing were a welcome sight. Though she kept her pride by not reaching out for them.
“...So much for putting the past behind me,” she squeaked.
Her voice sounded strained and exhausted, like she had been shouting the whole time. That assumption probably wasn’t far from the truth, as I noticed the pillow disheveled on my bed. I could picture Judy shouting into the cushion to mute herself to keep from causing a scene as much as possible.
“I thought you handled that very well, all things considered.”
“No,” she said with a sigh. “I wanted to kill him. Like, you have no idea. That stuff has been buried so deep inside me. It’s been years since I’ve seen him. And when I did…”
Judy shivered and held herself close.
“...But you didn’t,” I offered as help. “You scared the crap out of him, but you didn’t hurt him.”
“And then I broke down and cried like a little baby.”
“So what? We all cry, Carrots. I do it too.”
“I have a hard time picturing you crying…”
“You don’t believe me?”
“Should I?” she raised an eye to me. “You knew about Gideon. You knew about me and Gideon. And you didn’t tell me. How am I supposed to trust you? What else are you keeping from me?”
I winced. That was more than a fair accusation. Normally foxes were often accused of lying or stealing out of sheer bigotry. It didn’t say good things about me if I was coloring the stereotype. I supposed it was too much to say that friends should trust friends, given all that had happened.
“I get it,” I replied with a heavy sigh. “You’ve been lied to. I should have never kept that from you. I was being immature and thoughtless. I’m sorry. I should have trusted that you’d handle it like an adult.”
Judy huffed as she snatched the box of tissues from my paw. There was a pang in my chest as she turned away from me to blow her nose. The condensation of the water in my other paw was causing the glass to slip through my fingers.
“It’s nothing you did,” I said, looking down at my own feet. “It’s just...Really hard for me to trust people. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had a hard time making friends. True friends. Jack and you are the only true ones I’d say I have. The ones who know me beyond the surface level. Even then...It’s tough for me to open up and trust. The truth is, I’m extremely insecure about myself and often end up hurting others as a result. You can ask Jack all about that...”
Judy continued to keep silent. I couldn’t see what she was doing with my head down.
“...I thought Jack was your best friend,” Judy broke the silence.
“He is,” I said, my eyes shifting to the left.
“And you put me up there with him?”
“I do,” I looked up. “I’m serious. You are a true friend to me.”
She stared at me with her arms crossed, disbelief stretched across her face. Black eyeliner stained her fur like angry tears.
“...I can prove it to you,” I decided. “I’ll tell you something about me that only a handful of mammals know. A story from my past. And, as a bonus, it’ll even give you some dirt on Jack.”
Judy’s ears didn’t perk until the promise that it’d let her one up Jack. Though her eyes and voice feigned disinterest. “What is it?”
“The worst day of my life: The day I got kicked from the Ranger Scouts.”
Judy went quiet for a moment before speaking.
“I remember you telling me you didn’t want to talk about it unless you were drunk or feeling sentimental.”
“Well, I trust you. And from now on I’m not keeping any secrets between us. Even the bad stuff. You should know this about me if we’re friends. But if you don’t wanna hear it…”
“I do,” Judy said before correcting herself. “But it’s whatever.”
I had to smile at myself at the slight smirk I got from Judy before it disappeared. Rare as spotting the hairless mammal.
“Alright,” I said, handing Judy the glass of water. “I won’t keep you on the edge of your seat. Now...Where to begin?”
I let Judy have a drink from her water as I collected my thoughts. As honest as I was about revealing my thing with the scouts to her, it was still a bad memory. And bad memories never came out easy without proper motivation. Gideon didn’t keep alcohol in the apartment, and I hadn’t had the taste for it since my eighteenth birthday. So, I had to settle for using the punk bunny on my bed as a muse as I began my story.
I started when Judy finished drinking.
“If we were to go back to the very beginning, we’d have to start with my early life growing up with mom. Being an only child, and about eight or nine at the time, I was a bit of a lonely kit with the dream of one day joining a pack…”
It was hard not to see the appeal in joining the Ranger Scouts. Seemed like a no brainer at the time for a kit like me, with no friends to his name. Even if I was the only predator in the group, I just didn’t think it would matter.
Totally wrong about that, of course. We all know the story.
Poor fox kit gets his mom to save up to buy him a uniform. He trusts the other scouts and listens to every word they say, even when they tell him to meet up at night in the scout hall. He goes in, expecting to be welcomed with open arms. But the other kits set the trap and lure him to the basement. Then they turn the tables at the last minute and try to muzzle the fox for their amusement.
That’s the part I do my best to block out. I’ve heard it’s quite common for folks to forget traumatic events as a way to move on with their life. The details aren’t what is important about the story, anyway. What matters is that it happened.
I was a small fox kit, bullied and muzzled by some much larger mammals. All of them prey. Dreams of friendship shattered and feeling utterly betrayed, trust forever broken. It ended with me crying after being chased out of the building. Real sad sight, believe me.
That’s how I first met Jack.
Jack had been a part of the same troop and had arrived late to the meeting. He later told me that he had an inkling of what the other mammals were planning and spoke out against it, which is why they hadn’t included him on their little plot.
So, there I was sitting and crying at the steps of the building when Jack found me. Didn’t take long for Jack to put together what had happened. That’s when I first learned that you never wanted to tick off a bunny. Jack pulled me to my feet and dragged me back down to the trooper hall. I got to watch this tiny little hare scream at the mammals who had muzzled me. He was even shorter than I was, but he didn’t care. I had never had someone speak like that in my defense. He called them out for being paranoid about a fox joining their little group and attacked each one of them personally. I wish I had remembered to bring a notebook with me, some of his insults were so on point and stung each of the scouts to the core.
When he was done berating them, he turned his attention to bringing me back into the troop. His plan being to humble them before making his ultimate point. The head scout though, a muskrat with an attitude problem, didn’t care much for Jack’s case. In response, he banned me from ever joining their troop and kicked Jack out for good measure.
Jack almost got physical with the rodent, at that point. He stomped off, claiming he didn’t need any of them if that was how they behaved around preds. I just stood by in silence the whole time and followed him out. Though I was still pretty upset with the strange turn of events, I wanted to thank Jack for standing up for me. Even if I didn’t have the pack I always wanted, it was nice to know that not everyone saw me as just a shifty fox.
But when we were alone outside, Jack broke down.
It hadn’t occurred to me that he had just sacrificed whatever friendship he had with the scouts to make his point about a fox he barely even knew. I tried to comfort him, but ended up crying with him too. It was a big old cryfest, just the two of us under the streetlamps.
A few days later, we got to know each other better and started to hang out together.
The rest of the school hated us at that point. The muskrat and his minions had done their work to spread nasty rumors and lies about the two of us. Said that I had gone savage during the scout meeting and Jack had been laughing about it as I tore up the scout hall. By the end of the month, no one even wanted to associate with us. Or trust us.
So, we kept to each other instead.
The worst day of my life may have taught me how the world sees a fox and set the stage of a long, painful school career of distrust amongst my peers that continued all the way into high school. It was at the core of why I had been rejected by Angel, after all. But it also gave me the best friend I could ever ask for. The kind of buck who sticks up for you, even after you keep failing him in a number of gloriously spectacular ways.
And we’ve been best friends ever since.
“...And that’s why I don’t trust very easily. Save the few friends I have.”
Jack and I had the rule to never bring up what happened with the scouts to anyone. Ever. It was too sentimental and too sore a subject, even if it was how we met. So, the next thing I said to Judy after telling her the story was…
“Please, never mention this to Jack,” I begged with my ears low. “He will kill me if he learns I told you about him crying about that.”
Judy had been watching me intently the entire time I had been speaking. The glass of water nearly finished. A worrisome smile crept over her face.
“I dunno. That would be the perfect revenge for hiding Gideon from me.”
I shuddered, already starting to regret telling her the whole story. But if leverage was what it took to get Judy to start trusting me again, it was a small price to pay.
“Point taken. Just give me some warning so I can hide in a bunker during the fallout.”
“Well,” she continued, blowing her nose again and ignoring my request entirely. “Any other embarrassing stories you’d like to tell me to make me feel better?”
I dug around for a moment. “I once ate out of the trash while busking because I was starving.”
“Ew.”
“Don’t knock it. Who throws out a perfectly good cannoli?”
“I hope you brushed your teeth before kissing anyone.”
“Don’t worry, Carrots. I’ve never kissed anyone before. Just my mother.”
Judy gave me one of those little looks I had gotten used to. The kind that said one thing but meant another. You could always tell by how her nose wrinkled when her eyes caught mine. In this case, I wagered she was resisting the urge to poke fun at my inexperience with romance.
She let out a sigh to hide the smile off to the corner of her mouth.
“Is he gone?”
“No,” I said, eager to bring our conversation back to Gideon . “He wanted to wait and talk with you before you took off.”
“That’s nice. Because I don’t want to talk to him.”
I sighed. I didn’t expect Judy to jump at the chance to smooth things over with Gideon Grey. Honestly, it was a miracle she had forgiven me for lying to her. But I was hoping she’d, at least, give the fox a few words. So we could begin to make things up to her.
“I get it,” I said. “There’s no excuse for what he did and there never will be. But you aren’t the only one who’s carried the past with you. Just give him one sentence. That’s all I ask.”
Judy let out her own annoyed sigh. “Why do you care so much?”
“You mean besides him being my roommate and having to live with him if he gets all mopey? I dunno. Sometimes you see a mess and can't help yourself to clean it up. I'm not saying I like the guy. I think he’s got more than a few issues to work out. But this is more for you than it is for him.”
Judy huffed at that statement.
“How long have you been keeping this anger inside you?” I asked her. “Since the accident? Since you bit his ear off? Take it from me, that stuff eats away at you. This is not how I would have done it by any means. But it happened and now you have to deal with it. Don’t run away from it now that you have the chance to confront him head on. You can end this thing once and for all, if you want to.”
She looked at me, sniffed, and took a drink of water.
“Let me make one thing clear,” she said when she finished. “This is for you. Not for me or for him.”
“For me?”
“I’m willing to forgive you for lying to me and...I owe you for coming with me to the cliff. Despite what happened, you were still there for me. And it helped. I think.”
“You think?”
“Well, it’s not like you can make me even more of a damaged mess...”
I let out a nervous chuckle and looked for a piece of wood to knock on in the bedroom. Judy finished her drink, handing me the glass without so much as a look.
“Let’s just get this over with.”
Gideon patiently waited for us with his paws behind his back in the living room. The poor tod looked exhausted from his late night shift. Judy wasn’t giving him any ground to work with though.
I had thought I had seen the worst of her sneers when I first came to the burrow. But she had a bitter glare that would give her father a run for his money. Brow furrowed, daggers in her eyes. She knew how to expose her teeth just enough to give the impression of fangs, an animalistic warning to outsiders that she was willing to bite if necessary.
The threat worked too well and Gideon was rocking in place where he stood. He rubbed the tip of his missing ear and looked to me for any confirmation that it was safe to speak. I shrugged, unsure of how Judy wanted to approach this.
Gideon gulped and tried to break the ice. “Jude—”
“Stop,” she cut him off before he could get another word out. “If you’re going to say you’re sorry, you’re wasting your breath. If you’re looking to apologize for what you did, it’s far too late to earn my forgiveness. I will never forgive you, Gideon Grey. What you did was bad enough. But what you said afterwards, you can never take back. And I will carry those words over you for the rest of your miserable life.”
Both Gideon and I winced. Her own words were like venom and sizzled onto the floor like boiling water.
Judy held up her paws in a five finger gesture.
“You get five words. Five words to tell me why I should listen to anything you have to say. If I don’t hear something worth my time, I walk out of here and you never talk to me ever again. Is that understood?”
Well, she was giving Gid some rope. The problem was there was only enough for him to hang himself with. Five words to win over Judy...Even with my silver tongue and what I knew about her, I would be hard pressed to find something, anything, that Gideon could say to break the ever expanding glacier. Gideon gave me a lost look, and I returned it with another shrug. Judy tapped her foot impatiently.
She repeated the question. “Is that understood?”
Gideon had no choice but to nod.
To her credit, Judy did give Gideon plenty of time to think on how he wanted to use his gift of five words. A full five minutes of silence while she tapped her foot and Gideon thumbed his way through his very limited vocabulary. He didn’t strike me as the brightest thinker given his school history, and Judy probably knew that too. I held my breath from the sidelines, unable to intervene. Judy was holding her end of the bargain. I was just going to have to trust Gideon to stick to his plan.
Eventually, Judy grew tired of waiting. “Well?”
Gideon brushed at the side of his head, looking quite unsure of himself but stuck in a bad situation all the same. When he realized he would not be receiving any outside help, he grunted and looked Judy straight in the eyes with some renewed confidence.
He counted out each word with his paws as he spoke.
“You. Sing. Like. An. Angel.”
In the summer we had hung out together, I had never once seen Judy blush. Five words. That’s all it took.
To be fair, the compliment had come out of nowhere. I don’t think Judy was expecting to hear something like that given Gideon’s limited palette of words. But she recovered quickly enough with a shake of her head. Just like that, the redness in her ears was gone.
“You...Heard me sing?” she asked.
Gideon nodded.
I could tell Judy wanted to be angry with the tod. But given his choice of words, she couldn’t snap at him without being the one to sound like a jerk. Plus, I could tell there were more than a few questions in her eyes that couldn’t be answered with a nod or a shake of the head. Perhaps Gideon was more clever than I gave him credit. Either that or he was the luckiest fox I had ever met.
Judy grunted, unwilling to admit defeat. Her tapping foot betrayed her emotions though, getting faster with every second.
Tap. Tap. Taptap. Taptaptap. Taptaptaptaptap.
“Fine,” she spat. “You get to answer this question and that’s it until I say so otherwise. Why do you think saying that makes you worthy of speaking to me?”
Without a word count, Gideon was less careful with his choice in grammar, though he got straight to the point.
“I’ve been hearing you through the walls all week. You play guitar well and you sing beautifully, Jude. I ain’t ever heard anyone make music like you do. A friend of mine has a band and they’re hurting for a guitarist and singer. And I was wondering if—”
“What? If I’d be interested in joining them?” She took longer than a standard pause before huffing a laugh. “You’re joking. They’re like a rock band, right?”
Gideon nodded.
“...I play acoustic and don’t have the money to pay for an electric. I’d have no idea what I was doing.”
“Actually, Carrots,” I jumped at the chance to give Gid some backup. “Making the leap from acoustic to electric is much easier than doing it the other way around. It just requires some fiddling with the amp and a lighter touch. You can be ‘messier’ with an electric too.”
“Regardless,” Judy shot me a glare to keep quiet. “I don’t have that equipment and I could only imagine it’s expensive.”
To that end, she was correct.
Generally speaking, of course, you only needed to pay for just the guitar when buying an acoustic. The other stuff—Like the picks, extra strings, a stand, a strap, and cleaning kit—Were all inexpensive additions or came with it. An electric guitar required amps and, in my opinion being an unsavvy technological ‘expert’, more care given the electrical equipment that came with it on top of the usual stuff.
“So,” Judy returned her attention back to Gideon. “Thanks but no thanks. It’s not like I would have forgiven you if I was interested, Gideon.”
“Perhaps forgiveness is not what he was looking for, Carrots.”
“Shut it, dumb fox.”
I sighed, earning me another angry stare from Judy.
“I gave him the chance you asked for.” She said to me. “Are we done here?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Do your workout today without me. I need a break.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She was probably in no hurry to stick around with Gideon there. Judy crept past him without so much as a look. I waited for the front door of the building to shut before opening my conversation with Gideon.
“That went better than expected.”
“I-It did?” asked Gideon. “I dunno, Nick. She said she wasn’t interested in my idea…”
“You don’t use your ears do you? Her excuse didn’t include why she had no interest in playing with a band. She was more focused on her lack of electrical equipment. My theory is that she wants to do it but just needs a little push in the right direction.”
“That seems...Dangerous to assume if that’s your only proof.”
“How about this then?” I explained my thought process. “Why would Judy keep coming here to practice guitar and sing if she had no interest in advancing her experience with the instrument?”
Gideon shrugged, mostly due to the fact that he was missing some context there that I left out.
“My theory is that Judy wants to improve and she wants to take the next step in music, subconsciously or otherwise. I told her that she needs to perform in front of mammals if she wants to advance that way. Joining a band is the quickest and easiest way to do that, especially if you have anxiety in front of a crowd.”
“Okay,” Gideon was trying to keep up with my logic. “What’s your point?”
“I guarantee you, if she had an electric guitar she’d be more open to the idea. Or, at the very least, run out of reasonable excuses without outright lying to herself. Trust me. Judy is a determined rabbit and will rise to any challenge you give her. And we could both use a way to get on her good side after this morning. Something to make up for lying to her. And not trusting her.”
I clapped my paws together.
“So, Gid, what are your plans after work tonight?”
Notes:
Methinks Nick might be a little too optimistic about his plans...But we'll just have to wait and see.
Sorry for the small delay on this one, it's been a crazy week!
Chapter 22: Track 22: “Far From Perfect”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I punished myself by running an extra mile both on Saturday and Sunday morning. It was the least I could do, given I had almost given up the cause. On Sunday I was up before the sun had even come out. I had to be if I wanted to meet Gideon at our designated time of before 6 AM, when we’d leave for Podunk to go guitar shopping.
Upon Judy’s suggestion, one of the things I had invested in my exercise equipment was a decent pair of earbuds. Judy had filled my phone with various songs from her home computer. Some I liked, some she did. The music made for good background noise as I jogged along the dirt roads in the dark of the morning. Something to keep my mind busy in the drudges of exercise.
Whoever told you that working out can be enjoyable is a liar.
Sure, the rush of endorphins afterwards is nice. But it’s just so boring after awhile. After the first few weeks of intense running, my body had adapted but my mind had not. I might have opted to play guitar while running if that was even possible. I just needed something to keep me distracted. I was getting winded by the sixth mile and it had only been an hour. Judy was right. I was getting faster and better at this. Good enough for me to take a break anyway.
My phone in my pocket buzzed just as Angry Young Mammal came on.
It was a text from Jack.
[Must be one heck of a breakfast if it takes you 24 hours to eat it…]
A quick scroll through my message history reminded me that I had left Jack hanging on account of Judy’s arrival the other morning. Then I had gotten sidetracked with making up for my missed workout...No real excuse and Jack probably knew that. Too many balls in the air and too many bridges to rebuild. Thankfully, Jack also knew me well enough to not take it personally.
I got him up to speed with all that had happened, including the final encounter with Gideon.
Jack took it in stride, though I could sense by his tone that he was still a little miffed I had put him off. I explained my plan for the day, or at least the plan once I jogged back to the apartment. I was standing off the side of the road on the outskirts of the western farms. The sun was just coming up over the mountains.
[So,] Jack summed up everything in one neat little text message. [You’re gonna buy her an electric guitar?]
[That’s the gist of it, yeah.]
[Out of curiosity, how much money do you make?]
I knew exactly where Jack was going.
In truth, the money was my biggest concern. Between the two of us, Gideon and I weren’t exactly Puttin’ on the Ritz. We just barely made enough to afford some niceties at the end of the week. There just wasn’t much to save for, considering I didn’t need a car nor had any interest in buying a house. There was about $300 sitting in my savings account, gathering up a pittance of an interest rate. I’d imagine Gideon didn’t have much more than that either, even with the different jobs he worked.
There wasn’t just the matter of buying the guitar, of course. The amp would cost a fair chunk of money too. Then she’d need a pair of headphones for playing in private. A maintenance kit to care for it. It had been awhile since I looked into buying guitar after purchasing my acoustic years ago. I hoped I hadn’t gotten rusty in my haggling skills.
[Enough,] I replied to Jack.
[Uh huh. Need a loan?]
Living off my mom was one thing. Borrowing money from a friend was something completely different. Friends would stab you in the back over a simple misunderstanding involving cash. Money had that kind of effect on mammals. I trusted Jack with my life, and he trusted me. But I would rather be starving in the streets of Zootopia than ever have to resort to owing that kind of debt to Jack. My friendship would feel bought at that point.
[We’ll be fine.]
[Well, let me know if you change your mind. Given what they pay us in the city, I can only imagine the budget isn’t worth writing home about in the sticks.]
[No, it certainly isn’t…]
I added another few miles to my run by turning back. That left me with the time to shower before Gideon arrived back at the apartment. 5:30 AM. The mayor was working him real hard lately and Gideon was showing the stress of it, between his late hours and his encounter with Judy. I grabbed my guitar and we set off for the shop before six.
Needless to say, I was the one driving given Gideon’s sad state of affairs.
One good thing about having so many relatives close by was that Gideon was in no short supply of owed favors. We were able to borrow a rusty pickup truck that looked older than I was. A gift from Gideon’s uncle, though the thing made an awful noise when I started it up. It felt like I was driving a time bomb. Gid did little to comfort that thought.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” He asked me.
“Having second thoughts?”
“I just,” Gideon sighed. “I don’t want to make matters worse with Judy. The idea I had for her to join Travis’ band seemed like a good one, at the time. But if she’s not interested…”
“She is,” I said with half certainty. “I’m sure of it.”
“You’re not going to force her into it, are you?”
“No. I would never and could never do that. Judy’s her own bunny. This has to be something she decides to do on her own.”
“And if it isn’t what she wants to do?”
I knew what Gideon was saying.
This was a gamble, for both of us. Did I know Judy well enough to make these assumptions? I felt sure enough to go through with this plan and had convinced myself all morning. But on the cusp of the journey, I was beginning to have my doubts. Even though I told myself it was normal.
Like me with the Labor Day party, there was no better opportunity for Judy to advance herself than this band option. But I was making a guess. Was she being serious about her guitar lessons, or was that just her attempt to get close to me? Our reconciliation was still fresh in my mind. I wasn’t blind. There were still some feelings there between us. Not to mention Jack’s insistence over the texts. I was adamant that my interest in Judy had nothing to do with the romantic sort. Merely the educational kind.
It was challenging to put into words.
I saw Judy as more than a friend. But there was no lust. I was comfortable around her. Relaxed. Like I could be myself and she wouldn’t judge me. But there was never any longing, like there had been with Angel. Jeez, I remember hounding down that vixen like I was in heat or something.
But I was getting off topic within my own mind.
Judy and I were kindred spirits when it came to music. I saw it when she played. The real part of her that she would never expose to anyone else. I remembered feeling the same way when I learned guitar. Music was all I had on the streets until Jack had reminded me what I was missing. But in return for focusing on a real career, I had given up my love of the guitar and never pushed myself as far as I could go. I had never joined a band or could go professional as a fox. I couldn’t even say I had any real talent.
Judy, on the other paw...
“The best we can do is give her the option,” I admitted after a long moment of silent driving. “This is about taking away the excuse of missing equipment. We’re giving her an opportunity, Gideon. It’s up to her to take it.”
“It’s just an expensive opportunity, is all…”
“We’ll keep the receipt.”
It took some digging the day before to find a decent guitar shop out in the boonies.
The closest one was deep in the town of Podunk. That was a good thirty mile drive from Foxburrow, with Gideon falling asleep in the truck. I shifted violently in the lanes, partly to wake him up but mostly because I was trying to work the GPS device. We weren’t lost, but I had never been to Podunk before. It was in Deerbrooke County, somewhere to the west past the mountains. Almost near where the forest with the pond was.
It was about what I expected when we arrived around 7 AM.
Podunk amounted to a small woodland village, with a heavy focus on lumber and trees. That probably explained why the only guitar shop within a hundred miles was located there. A quick glance down the only major street in the town showed me that the other stores were all timber-based. That is to say they sold furniture, building materials, and other wood-based creations. The focus was on lumber as a town theme, with every building built into thick, squat trees. Yes, built into. As in doors and windows coming out of the trunks.
There were the usual suspects hanging around the street. Deer were obvious being in Deerbrooke and where there was wood, there were beavers. Lots and lots of beavers. In fact, the beavers outnumbered the deer five to one. And we, as two red foxes, stood out like a fire in the brush even in the early morning.
“Let’s go,” I ordered Gideon.
I didn’t want to be there longer than we had to. Especially with all the stares we were receiving. I had gotten accustomed to being the sheriff of Bunnyburrow, where folks would at least know who I was. There didn’t even look to be any predators in Podunk. I tried to look like I owned the guitar case strapped to my back, in an effort to prevent any stealing accusations. Thankfully, that uncomfortable aura dissolved in an instant when we stepped into the guitar shop. Ben’s Bridge.
For the first time since I had been to the burrows, I felt at home. Not home in the sense like my apartment, which was a place I owned and slept in. But when I was around music in the store, I was in a safe, happy place. Suddenly, I could remember walking into the guitar shop on the corner of Mercury and Armstrong when I was ten years old hearing that beautiful sound for the very first time.
There was the smell of polished mahogany from the built custom guitars in the back of the store. Given the dusty condition of the tree building, the place had been around for at least fifty years. That thought was complemented by the sight of the owner tuning an old Vintage Rosewood Ratpack from 1978. The beaver looked to be in his seventies, and required spectacles that were an inch thick to see straight. This made his eyes look intensely zoomed in and I could literally see nothing but the darks of his pupils.
The beaver matched the appeal of his shop with a warm tone of voice, despite the two of us being much larger foxes. Gentle, like a doting grandparent.
I was going to hate myself for having to haggle with him.
“Welcome. How can I help you boys?”
His gaze fixed on me and the guitar strap over my shoulder. Even at a distance, he knew it wasn’t some cheap toy I was lugging around to look cool with. I could see the respect for it in his massive eyes.
I let Gideon handle the small talk. I was much too distracted with the displays along the walls to engage in the opening banter.
“Where have you been all my life?” I whispered to myself as I stared in awe at the collection.
There were few things as shapely or as beautiful as a well-made guitar. Something about the framework just made me want to gawk into the lines of the wood for hours, like a moth to the flame. Ben the Beaver had twenty acoustic masterpieces for sale, just sitting there patiently waiting to be played. Each of them was custom made too, by the signature on the body. I would kill to have one…
Then I looked at the price tag. $1,199.
I cringed. We had entered the house of a master instrument craftsman who had a price tag to match his skill level. Suddenly I was painfully aware just how little money I had with me. Gideon wasn’t going to have much more either. But that was why I had brought some collateral with me, just in case.
“...An electric guitar?” My ears perked up from the inflexions of the beaver speaking with Gideon. “We have a few beginner’s ones, if that might interest you.”
I gagged slightly. It was possible to get a cheap guitar for around $100. Something like that was great for practice, as the name implied. But it would have all the durability of a toothpick and would break down in a short time in the paws of a real guitarist. Not to mention, if you were joining a band it would make you a laughingstock. And Judy needed something to impress. I stepped in immediately to avoid Gideon making that mistake.
“Actually,” I said. “We were looking for something a bit more professional.”
“Of course,” spoke the beaver as he ran me up and down again. “We have a few pieces your size that you might enjoy.”
“It’s not for me.”
“Ah.” He looked to Gideon, who was a whole head taller than me. “Well, we might have something big enough for him in the back.”
“Wrong again,” I smiled to hide my nerves. I held up my paw to around my chest for measurement. “It’s actually for a rabbit, about yay tall...”
Given our warm welcome to Podunk, you never knew how someone was going to react to a fox buying a rabbit an expensive gift. That sounded out of place, even for someone like me. Old Ben was being polite with us, but it could have all been an act. He might have been watching me, just expecting me to make off with one of his guitars when he wasn’t looking.
But Ben didn’t even squint his eyes at me and continued without missing a beat.
“Of course. Left or right strung?”
“Left,” I answered, shifting around to get more comfortable.
“We have some Helix’s in that size. And one or two Fibsons in the back.”
Those were good names that I recognized. Brands that I would trust in a heartbeat. But a part of me was curious.
“Have anything you made yourself?”
Ben scurried to the back before I could finish my sentence, like he had been waiting for me to ask. I could respect the pride one would have if someone was asking to see your work, but I still chuckled as I watched his flattened tail wiggle through the door.
He returned with a literal museum piece.
“This one is made from elephant ironwood,” he explained as he held it up for me to see. “The rarest material you can get from the jungles to the south. It’s hardy, so you can’t use it for something more intricate like an acoustic. But use it with an electric and it will last a lifetime. Nothing short of a diamond powdered saw will break the body.”
It was beautiful and white. Ben had polished the body until it was soft to the touch and shone like a pearl. The six strings down the fret glimmered like thin strands of silver. The guitar looked like the sort of thing that should have been kept on display and never, ever played.
Ben offered for me to hold it and I accepted, if hesitantly. To touch it felt like sacrilege.
“Light,” I commented while bouncing it in my paws. “Lighter than I thought it’d be with a name like ironwood.”
“More named for its durability. They say the mayor of Zootopia’s desk is made of the stuff.”
“And they say he wipes with sheep’s wool too.”
I presented the guitar to Gideon, who did not treat it with the same respect. He clumsily grasped it by the neck like he was wringing a goose. Suddenly, I felt embarrassed to have him as my partner in all of this. He fiddled with it and shrugged.
“Looks as good as any to me.”
“Better than good,” I muttered with a sour tone. “Something like this never breaks, Gideon. This is the sort of instrument that only the best would ever use.”
“I see you have an eye for quality,” Ben said, mildly impressed with my humbled attitude.
“Now if only I had the wallet to match,” I replied with a sigh. “How much?”
I had a wager of what he was going to say. But maybe there was the hope that we could haggle for it.
“With an amp and other equipment? $2,999.”
My jaw went to the floor. That was well beyond anything I could imagine, yet it somehow felt fitting for such a kingly instrument. There was simply no way I could haggle for something like that without ripping the shopkeeper off or doing something illegal. I passed the guitar right back to Ben.
“Yeah, okay. We’ll need to take a look at some of your cheaper models.”
Ben frowned and accepted the ironwood instrument. “Well, if you like it so much, might I offer you an alternative solution?”
“We’re looking to buy more than to rent.”
“Naturally. But this model has a sister.”
I raised an eye as Ben disappeared into the back again with the ironwood in paw.
He returned with an exact clone of the guitar, save for two details. One was the change in color, from white to black. The second was amongst the pure ebon wood of the body, there was a red “X” right along the waist. Ben wasted no time pointing it out as he held it for me to take.
“She was my first attempt with ironwood. Made a stupid mistake with the saw which cracked the body. I patched it up with some wood filling and heavy polish. It's still strong as an ironwood should be. But it’s far from perfect.”
“It’s beautiful,” I said while holding it in my paws. The glaring red flaw on the black body was a striking contrast. Wild and broken. “Far from perfect, maybe. But perfect as it is.”
“If you’re not looking for flawless quality, this is the top of the line. Six strings and I can set them for lefties. I’m simply not a fan of selling my mistakes.”
“And if you had to put a price on it?”
“Probably the standard cost of a high tier guitar in this shop. $1,199.”
Still high. But more manageable.
I could hear Gideon seize up behind me. I kept a warm smile to Ben, to not betray my nerves at the price tag.
“One moment, please.”
I kept the ironwood in my grip as I huddled with Gideon in the corner of the shop, out of earshot from the beaver. I could smell Gid’s fear just by brushing next to him.
“That’s insane,” he whispered. “That’s still way out of our price range.”
“How much do you have?” I asked.
“‘Bout three hundred in cash on me…”
About what I expected from him. “Then we need to do some creative work to lower the cost.”
“Why not just get a cheaper one?”
The musician in me wanted to slap Gideon across the face for asking such an absurd question and I spoke with more bitterness in my voice than intended.
“The same reason you don’t serve food at a restaurant on paper plates and with plastic utensils.”
“Alright, alright. Point taken…”
“This is for Judy,” I continued, feeling much taller than Gideon at that moment. “This is meant to be our gift of apology to her. The start to your redemption. And you want to cheapen it? Fine. If you don’t want to help, you can go walk out right now. I won’t stop you.”
“No...No, I do want to help. It’s just...We can’t afford it.”
“We can,” I gave him an encouraging smile. “But I need your help to do it. Do you trust me?”
“Yeah…?”
“Then I need you to play the skeptic,” I continued, waving my paw around. “I’m too invested in the guitar for it to be believable from me. Question anything the beaver throws at us. Challenge the price. This piece is clearly a wound on his pride. Point out the crack. Be obnoxious. I’ll take it from there and cool the embers.”
This was going to require a bit of acting. We weren’t going to take advantage of the old beaver. But we had to play a little hard ball. Given Ben’s age in the business, he was probably used to haggling. But I couldn’t gauge how tough he was without dipping my feet in. Better he think that Gideon was the one causing trouble while I was the real stickler whittling him down.
I approached Ben with a sad smile. “This is an excellent piece. But, I’m afraid my business partner thinks otherwise…”
Cue Gideon.
“It’s cracked,” he said, with all the tact of a philistine. “It’s broken.”
Old Ben furrowed his brow at Gideon, studying him up before returning to me.
“As I said, there was a mistake in its crafting. Hence why it is a much lower price than its sister. I’m sure you can appreciate just how much the materials cost—”
Gideon persisted. “But it’s still soiled material. If I try to sell a cake with expired ingredients in the bakery I work at, you can bet the customers won’t be happy. No matter how pretty it looks.”
I bit down a chuckle. After years of working for the mayor at odd hours, I gathered that Gideon was used to dealing with difficult customers. There was a sense of more than just pent up aggression towards those types of mammals in his voice. He played the part well. Now it was my turn.
“...I’m inclined to agree,” I said with the right amount of reluctance in my voice. “It’s a tad too steep for high tier if you admit that it’s cracked. Materials aside.”
Haggling was a bit like fishing. You had to present yourself as tasty bait that was just out of reach. Gideon was the one reeling me in. Ben was the fish going for the lure.
And he took a bite.
“Very well. What are you willing to pay for it then?”
Gideon was going to have to be the one to speak here. I shot him a look, prompting him to bid low.
“Half,” said Gideon.
Ben grunted. “That’s way too low. I would be losing money at that price.”
That was my chance. And I jumped right in.
“How about we meet you in the middle then?” I offered. “Nine hundred.”
Ben gave me a curious look. I could feel Gideon giving me bug eyes behind me. He probably didn’t expect me to have that kind of cash. The beaver played with his buck teeth for a moment in thought. For a moment, I was afraid he had noticed Gideon’s perturbed look and knew I was offering cash I didn’t have. Yet.
“Deal.”
I breathed a sigh of relief through my nose as I accepted his paw.
“Terrific! And at a fair asking price. Gideon, why don’t you pass me your wallet and wait in the truck? I’ll handle the payment.”
Gideon raised an eye but relented when I turned to him with an angry glare. Do it.
With the three hundred we both had, this brought our funds to about $600. Still much less than what was needed. But I had come prepared to make up that difference with the only thing worth any value to me. And I didn’t want Gideon to be there when I said my goodbyes.
Once Gideon was out the door, I slumped my guitar off my shoulder.
“I don’t suppose you’d be interested in taking my old acoustic off my paws, while we’re at it?”
To my surprise, Ben chuckled. “I knew you were bluffing.”
With our agreement, I could speak more freely. “Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve had to haggle for an instrument. No hard feelings?”
“None at all. This must be a special bunny if you’re willing to go so far as to barter with an old mammal like me.”
He took my case and opened it up.
“Let’s see what you got here.”
Ben knew how to properly hold my treasure, delicately removing it from its case without ever using his claws. He held it up to his spectacles, inspecting the strings by running a finger across them one by one. Satisfied with the tune, he traced the body, feeling every corner of my guitar and admiring the craftsmanship.
“1988 Plymouth Acoustic. Left pawed. Vintage model. Well used and cared for.”
His voice dropped when he touched the very bottom of the instrument. I knew it was because he had found the crack Judy had left when she dropped the guitar for the first time. The hard sell.
“...Uncharacteristically cracked frame.”
I gave him a nervous smile. “What can I say? I have a heart for broken things.”
“Be that as it may,” said Ben as he put my guitar away. “I can’t accept this. Not at full price, anyway.”
“That’s fair after the trouble we just gave you for the cracked ironwood…”
“What did you pay for it?”
Oh, the memories of the day I walked into the guitar shop on the corner of Mercury and Armstrong when I was sixteen years old. I knew exactly the model I wanted and had saved up for months and months to afford it, making a special deal with the owner to hold onto it. I dreamed about the day I could finally hold it in my paws and call it my own.
“$800”
Ben hummed as he stroked at his buckteeth. “And how much do you have on you?”
“About $600,” I admitted.
“My policy on trade-ins is half the original cost,” Ben explained. “You have a fine piece, but it's damaged. And you expect to get enough to afford the ironwood, after I’ve already given you a discount on it?”
The beaver didn’t raise his voice while carefully explaining my plan out loud to me. But he still managed to make me feel terrible about the ordeal.
Before I could answer him, he laughed again.
“One special bunny, indeed.”
He closed the case and sealed the deal, much to my surprise.
“You’ll take it?”
“Your guitar has seen a lot of wear,” said Ben. “But it’s seen a lot of love too. The ironwood you’re getting is a failure that I could probably never sell to the serious guitarist that it would be meant for. I’m curious to see what you can do with it.”
There were suddenly no words in my clever vocabulary to describe my appreciation.
“That...That’s incredibly kind of you. Thank you.”
“Just promise me the next time you visit, you won’t attempt to haggle so poorly. It’s embarrassing.”
My nervous laugh didn’t do my heart any justice. “I promise.”
My gaze turned to my old case, with my acoustic within it. Sorry, no. It wasn’t mine anymore. I put a paw to the cheap plastic coating protecting the delicate instrument within.
Ben sensed my hesitation.
“Need a moment?”
“Nah,” I said almost instantly, trying to smile. “Long goodbyes are cliched. You know?”
“As you wish,” he said as he took the guitar away from me. “I’ll be out in a minute with the attachments for the ironwood.”
There was no easy way to say farewell to an old friend. One who had been with me in tougher spots than even Jack had. Maybe I was too much of a coward to admit that I knew I’d never see my guitar again. It was me giving up a dream, something that had been left on the streets of Zootopia while I busked. When I became a cop.
But in many other ways, I was passing that torch to someone else. Someone better.
I just hoped Judy felt the same way. I’d hate to have to look dumb by returning the ironwood to Ben.
Notes:
Thank you for reading about 5000 words detailing two guys buying a guitar made of fictional wood!
Chapter 23: Track 23: “House on Fire”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“I still don’t know if this is a good idea, Nick…”
“What’s the problem?” I asked while waiting at the door. “It’s totally going to work. She's gonna love it. Who wouldn’t?”
When we arrived back at the apartment, I let Gideon catch a nap so he could be well rested for Judy’s arrival. It being Sunday, she’d probably come around 6 PM or so. Gideon was risking going in late to his job to be there when we presented the electric guitar to her.
I had it all figured out. While Gideon was napping, I spent a good hour unpacking the ironwood and its attachments. There was the amp, the headphones, all the chords necessary to put it all together, various guitar picks and extra strings for repair. Ben had spared no expense for us. I quietly reminded myself to give his store a glowing recommendation to anyone who asked in the future. The guitar looked perfect, propped up on the couch next to all its features, the red X glaring like a lighthouse in the darkest night. It was all I could do to not grab the instrument and rip into it like a kid on Christmas morning. A flawless display, showcasing the guitar and all its beauty.
There was just the matter of convincing Judy to try for the band.
Despite my giddiness over a brand new instrument, I still knew we were risking a lot on this gamble. No one pushed Judy into doing anything. I had learned that much after yesterday’s encounter with Gideon. Judy didn’t do anything she didn’t want to, or anything she didn’t feel like she owed a favor to. The purpose of the ironwood’s set up was to make it look as appealing and ripe for playing as possible. But that was only half the battle.
I started counting the seconds when the clock turned past 5 PM. Gideon continued to whine behind me, taking his position next to the guitar.
“It’s going to work,” I kept repeating. “I know she wants to do this. Deep down.”
“Maybe it’s not a question of want more than it is a question of if she can do it.”
“She can do it,” I stopped myself from growling at Gideon’s cowardice. “You said it yourself. She’s an amazing singer and player.”
“I’m not talking about skill level here, Nick. To push yourself like that? It’s much more a thing in your head. Isn’t it? I know what it’s like to be able to do something, but not be able to do it. You know what I’m sayin?”
“No,” I shot back an angry glare to Gideon. “Judy talks about the same thing all the time. Mind over body.”
“Well, that’s not exactly what I meant…”
He was interrupted by a knock at the door.
I breathed through my nose to calm myself. It was going to be alright. Judy would want to try for the band. Who wouldn’t after seeing such a beautiful guitar? And even if she didn’t, we could just return it...No. I couldn’t think like that.
Gideon kept out of sight from the door as I opened it a crack.
Judy stood on our doormat, looking dark and brooding. That was usual for her. But I couldn’t help but feel some ire was directed towards me.
“Heyyy, Carrots,” I said, putting on a pleasant smile to contrast her scowl. “Looking chipper, as always. What? Someone replace your eyeliner with glue?”
“You could say that,” she replied. “Then again, it probably has more to do with me getting bailed on this morning by a certain dumb fox.”
It took me a moment to comprehend what she was referring to.
Oh, crap.
We had been in such a scramble to leave the apartment that morning, I neglected my promise to exercise with Judy. And after we had just made up no less. That probably had to do with me being on my own with the workouts all week and adjusting to that schedule instead. There was a sour sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach, like I had swallowed a sweaty sock full of screws.
Judy sighed. “Look, just forget it. You can make it up to me tomorrow morning. Can we just get this practice session started?”
She pushed past me through the crack in the door as I stammered. “I...Uh…”
Rather than the guitar, Judy first set her eyes on Gideon. Only when she finished glaring at him did she notice the ironwood. I tried my best to sound sincere.
“...Uh, surprise!”
It was like being the only one to laugh at a joke in a crowded room. Judy wore a perpetual grimace, while Gideon awkwardly shifted in place. I kept up my smile, though I tugged at the neck of my T-Shirt. After digesting the scene several times, and completely ignoring Gideon’s presence, Judy finally spoke up.
“Where’s the guitar?”
I knew by her tone, she wasn’t talking about the ironwood. She meant the acoustic, which was as much her guitar as it had been mine, at that point.
I wasn’t going to lie to her though.
“...I sold it,” I confessed. “Then Gideon and I chipped in together to buy you an electric.”
“Why?”
I slowly moved in between Gideon and Judy to send the unspoken cue that this was all my idea.
“I thought you would be interested in giving an electric a try, Carrots. And maybe...Consider joining the band Gideon mentioned.”
I was pushing her. I could tell by the defensive stance Judy was taking. Arms crossed and ears straight down, her nose giving her a flared expression like a predator. She took a deep breath and reached for a cigarette that she didn’t have.
“You really are a dumb fox, aren’t you?”
I tried to stop her as she turned to leave.
“Wait, Carrots...Come on…”
She wasn’t hearing any of it and she stepped out into the summer evening.
The sun was still out, though it was dying under the trees. Gideon followed me to the front door and waited as I gave chase to Judy out onto the sidewalk. It was the quiet of twilight where folks were just getting home from work and joining their families inside for dinner, something I was grateful for.
We didn’t need an audience for our shouting match.
“Carrots—”
“I said I didn’t want to join a band,” she spat. “Many times! And you turned around and did this anyway!”
“Yeah, but—”
“But what? You think you can lead me around like I’m some lovesick schoolgirl just because I got the wrong message about you?”
There was sand in my mouth as I tried to speak.
“Carrots, I would never, ever do something like that. I’m not that kind of tod.”
“Then why are you trying to get me to do this?”
“Because…”
It was at that moment I realized exactly why I had been so persistent in getting Judy into the band, even blowing all the money I had to my name.
It was because I was scared.
I was terrified of being in love with someone. Or having someone in love with me. Maybe Jack had been right all along. Maybe the thing with Angel had broken me a bit. This was me trying to convince myself that hanging out with Judy hadn’t been anything more than just that. Just friends. Less complicated that way. Less weird. Less frightening. Instead of admitting anything, I’d rather she use me to advance her skills into guitaring. It was simpler if our relationship began and ended with our deal with each other. If we didn’t bring feelings into this.
But Jack’s question over texts haunted me. If things had been different, would I like Judy in that way?
“...I don’t know,” I said, unaware that I was speaking out loud.
“Because you don’t know?” Judy repeated my broken statement. “Real good answer, dumb fox. I can see you gave it a lot of thought.”
I shook my head to snap out of my internal dialogue. There was a time and a place for my thoughts about Judy, and now was neither. Focus, Nick.
“Carrots,” I tried to be as honest as I could. “I thought I was doing something right. And I really just wanted to see you happy.”
“Well, take a good look. Do I seem happy?”
“No,” I sighed at myself and my failing mouth. “And I get it. I get why.”
“I don’t think you do!”
“Okay,” I said, raising my paws and doing whatever I could to lower her voice to avoid drawing the neighbor's attention. “Okay. Then help me get it. Help me understand.”
“You’re pushing me,” she said, holding herself close and growling. “You’re pushing me. And I don’t like it.”
“But why wouldn’t you want to join a band?”
“Besides the obvious reason of being forced into it?” she choked.
I winced, realizing too late how that must have sounded in her ears. To her I was no better than her ex-boyfriend, Andrew.
No one ever forced Judy to do something she didn’t want to do. I knew that. She knew that. Even Gideon knew that. She didn’t have to say anything else to me.
It surprised me when she took a few more deep breaths and spoke again, in a strained but calmer tone.
“Look,” she said with her head in her paw. “I know what you’re doing. You think you’re trying to help me. Officer Oink and many others did the same thing. It’s nothing new. And it’s not cool. I don’t want to be forced into anything. And if you’re my friend, you’ll respect that. Okay?”
I put a paw to my chest and lowered my head in shame. Judy’s words brought me back to the times Jack tried to get me off the street from busking. I hadn’t wanted the help then either.
“Okay…”
She didn’t speak to me again.
I let her go off into the night, leaving me standing there before my apartment. Her black hood disappeared into the shadows, while I returned to Gideon under the flickering light of the front porch. He had been watching the entire scene unfold in silence.
I couldn’t even look Gideon in the eye.
“Sorry, Gid,” I muttered. “I think I dragged you into a bigger mess with my assumptions. You can say I told you so now.”
“...I can’t say I’d want to, Nick.”
“You’re a better mammal than I am then.”
“Given all that I’ve done, I’m not sure that’s true either.”
I sighed and slumped back into the apartment. Two hapless foxes, each with their own levels of self-loathing. We were practically made for each other as roommates.
Gideon caused me to jump with a pat on my shoulder.
“It was a good thought, Nick.”
“Poorly implemented,” I shrugged him off. “Half-cocked and overconfident. Stupid, stupid. You were right all along. She’s gotta do things at her own pace. And I was coming off as a complete jerk. I should know better than to push her into something. And to try it so soon after we had just made up…”
I paced around the living room, running through the ways in which I was an idiot and how I could fix this mess. Gideon watched me with a pitiable look on his face.
“You really care about her, huh?”
I covered my eyes as I spoke. “...It’s a complicated relationship.”
“Well, sometimes those are the strongest friendships. The ones that shouldn’t make any sense. Lord knows I could’ve used a friend like that when I was feeling low.”
I huffed a forced laugh. “Can she call me a friend after all this?”
“Would she be this upset at you if you weren’t already close to her?”
I tried to ignore him by stumbling into the kitchen.
A cold splash of water from the sink was a nice comfort. The humidity of the summer evening combined with the heat of our argument had left me desperate to cool off. Gideon continued to hover over me, like a worried mother.
“Don’t you have to go to work?” I snapped with more anger in my tone than was fair to give to him.
Gideon didn’t budge from his spot. “Yeah. But there’s work to do right here first.”
“No offense, Gideon. But I think you’re the last tod I’d ever go to for help in regards to this sort of thing. This is some pretty heavy business.”
“Nick, dealing with Judy is my business. Why do you think she’s like the way she is?”
I brushed the water from my face and looked back to see his angry eyes. But Gideon’s ire wasn’t directed towards me. I could see the painful truth in him. Guilt. The kind that kept with you like a sloppy tattoo. A mistake of the past, like a permanent scar.
“I’m never going to make things right for her,” he said with a stern confidence that hid the crushing truth in the context of his words. “She made it quite clear that I am never to be forgiven for what I did. And that’s more than fair. It’s what I deserve. But Judy...She deserves better than what she got. What was stolen from her.”
As he spoke, Gideon played with his missing ear.
“You can call me weak, stupid and a coward or a jerk, Nick. Those are all fair accusations. But I think I made up my mind a long time ago what my penan would be...My penat? My...Penchant?”
I rolled my eyes a bit before helping him along. “Penance?”
He nodded his head in thanks before continuing. “If I can’t help Judy directly, I’ll settle for supporting her instead. You know? Be it doing terrible jobs for her family. Or giving everything I own to help pay for a guitar. But I don’t want to do it for forgiveness. I can’t be the one up front fixing things. I don’t have that right.”
He put his massive paw to my chest.
“But you? You care about her a lot. And I think she cares about you too. Even if neither of you want to show it. You can call me selfish and cowardly here. But I’m putting my money on you. If she won’t accept my apologies, I’ll work through you instead. Helping you is how I can help Judy.”
I blinked a few times. “Is that why you went along with my crazy scheme today?”
“It weren’t so crazy. Your heart was in the right place.”
“Just not my head,” I sighed.
I knew Gideon was attempting to make me feel better. But saying he was relying on me only made me feel worse. I stared at the ironwood on the couch. The most beautiful guitar I had ever seen, let alone owned. I had been so confident when we purchased the instrument. Now I was sick of looking at the thing and wanted it gone.
“...I gotta make things right for her.”
“I’m sure you will, Nick. Just gotta give it time.”
“No,” I said with more force. “Tonight. I want all this stupid drama between us done with. Now.”
In my mind, letting this stew for a few more days would just make it worse. Judy and I had already spent a week apart after our thing at the creek. Maybe I was being immature and impatient. But I wanted things fixed. Unfortunately, I knew exactly what that was going to mean.
“Gid, you going into work now?”
“Err, probably. Even though Stu’s most likely going to pelt me for being late. Why?”
“Can you do me one more favor and give me a lift?”
I hadn’t been to the Hopps’ farm since Judy’s birthday, at a similar time of day too. It was well into the evening in the burrows and the rabbits had all gone home for the night, leaving the fields empty and quiet. Gideon’s borrowed pick-up was a roaring disturbance in the cadence.
The Hopps’ actual main compound was off limits in my past misadventures into the west of Bunnyburrow. I was always warned by Hank to not approach the house unless it was an emergency, as the mayor didn’t take too kindly to folks snooping around his property. At a glance, it wasn’t much different than the other burrows I had seen around the farmlands. Most farming rabbits lived underground, as I had come to learn. Burrowing into little homes that amounted to bunkers with nicer architecture.
The Hopps’ burrow was bigger than most of the others I had come across, as would be expected. Despite the family’s financial troubles, it only made sense that the mayor would have a proper-sized home to fit his three hundred children. However, even in the dark, there was something amiss around the property.
When I stepped out of the vehicle, I could see the white picket fence welcoming me into the Hopps’ home. But the paint was peeling and it was missing a few panels. The grass of the front yard went up past my ankles, and there were discarded toys all around. Meant for kids ages three and up, if I had any guess.
“Thanks for the lift, Gid,” I said as I shut the door and faced the warm light of the front porch, beckoning me forward. I hesitated. “Any last minute tips?”
Gideon had assured me that the mayor would be busy working late at the office and would not trouble me on my first visit to Judy’s home. That said, I was still nervous about meeting Judy’s mom. Outside of the phone calls Judy made, I had never interacted with Bonnie. Her mother was always content just to know where Judy was and that she was safe. Hardly ever spoke a word to me otherwise outside our first conversation. I didn’t even know what she looked like.
“With Bonnie?” he asked. “She’s...A tough bunny. And a mom.”
“I’ve gathered that much with my phone calls with her. Not the most helpful thing you’ve ever said.”
“Sorry,” he shrugged as he prepared to drive off. “Just trust me. You shouldn’t have to worry about her too much. Just be polite. And, uh, don’t mind the stares.”
His words were all I was going to have to go off of as he left me alone in the graveyard of rabbit toys. I sighed as the vehicle kicked up some dirt and sped off into the night. I might have felt sorry for Gideon and his impending reprimandations with the mayor. But I had my own problems to worry about.
Despite the signs of bunnies everywhere, there wasn’t a hare to be seen as I made my approach towards the big red front door, which lit up like a traffic light in the night. I followed a cobblestone path, passing a mailbox with the family name labelled in rusty copper letters. A name I had come to know all too well from my time in the burrows. It served only as a grim reminder that I was a pilgrim in an unholy land of rabbits. I had every expectation of how poorly this would play out in my head as my paw knocked at the door.
My ears wobbled like airplane flaps as I picked up the sounds of scampering feet on the other side of the door. The soft whispering only put me more on edge.
Heavier footsteps silenced the small voices. Followed by the red door opening a crack.
“Can I help you, sir?”
A pair of purple eyes greeted me from the shadows of the door, looming like a predator waiting in the dark. They were connected to a kind face that dispelled such sinister thoughts. Even the voice of the bunny was sweet and patient, just like it had been over the phone, despite me being an unknown fox on her doorstep. It was definitely Judy’s mother, Bonnie. That much I could tell by the white in her grey fur. She looked like someone who had lost a lot of weight very rapidly. Tired and worn, but a dutiful guardian. She couldn’t have been much older than my mom, but she wore her age on her sleeve. Even with the world on her shoulders, Bonnie presented a warm smile that only a mother knew how to give someone.
My tongue fumbled in my mouth when I noticed several other smaller pairs of brown and purple eyes leering over Bonnie’s waist. A pawful of bunny kids stared back up at me with cautious but curious glances.
You’re the intruder here, Nick. Just be polite. And be honest. No more hiding stuff.
“How do you do,” I offered Bonnie my paw. “We’ve spoken over the phone. I’m Nick Wilde. The town sheriff and Judy’s...Guitar teacher.”
I still didn’t know if Bonnie knew me as the sheriff or not, given my relationship with her husband. But I didn’t want to withhold anything else after keeping Gideon from Judy. If Bonnie was going to follow the mayor’s example in hating me, best get it out of the way now.
Bonnie looked down at my paw and then back to me before accepting it.
“Oh, Mr. Wilde...I’m sorry. I just...Had no idea you’d be a fox.”
A fair assessment given what happened between Judy and Gideon. I would have been surprised too seeing Judy go anywhere near a fox, if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. I tried to offset the commentary on my species with an uncomfortable laugh. Followed by a gulp. That only made the silence which followed more awkward.
“...I’m sorry,” Bonnie said again with a sigh as she opened the door. “Where are my manners? Please, come in.”
I obeyed, though my feet wanted to go in the other direction.
Once inside, the kids that had been gathering at their mother’s side scrambled in opposite directions at the sight of me. It occurred to me that I was about to get a closeup perspective of what Judy’s home life was like.
The first thing I learned was that there was not a quiet space in the entire house.
Everywhere we walked, I saw some sort of activity involving rabbits. Passing the kitchen, the older kids were hard at work scrubbing at the plates from their massive dinner an hour ago. At the floor, smaller bunnies cleaned and stacked the dishes neatly into cabinets while being supervised by another elder rabbit. In another room, more kids were folding mountains of laundry. Then in another, bunnies were cleaning and sweeping.
It was like seeing a marvelous, working machine of many moving parts and pieces. Something that had existed forever and would continue to labor in perfect harmony for many years to come, if left to its own devices. Even my passing didn’t halt the workflow, though all the rabbits gave me a cold stare with their ears raised whenever I walked by.
Bonnie noted her children's reaction to me.
“Please, excuse everyone,” she said with her ears hung low. “My husband is always warning the children about predators, particularly foxes.”
“No, I get it,” I gave her an earnest smile, but I couldn’t help it to feel uncomfortable from the untrusting glances around me. “It’s, uh, a charming place you have here. Very assembly line-like.”
“That’s more accurate than you’d think. Stu and I have about three hundred children. With such large bunny families, the work needs to get divided up into shares. Especially with our family. It isn’t easy to feed three hundred mouths and everyone needs to do their part to keep us afloat. Sometimes it gets a little close at the end of the month and we older rabbits need to skip a meal or two.”
Skipping meals…
I could recall when I was a really little kid all the times my mom would miss a lunch or breakfast just to get me fed. She’d always claim it was because she was on a diet, but I knew better. Things improved when I got old enough to start working myself and help chip in. I could only imagine that having a large family would leave even less room for error.
Bonnie continued on, as if she was giving a tour.
“We follow a typical pattern for a large rabbit family. In the morning, the oldest rabbits work the fields and run the farm. The younger ones join in the simpler jobs, usually picking berries and vegetables as they learn the ropes. The littlest children stay at home to be looked after by their parents.”
I noted her plural use of the word parents. As Gideon had promised, Bonnie’s husband was nowhere to be seen, even with all the activity going on in the burrow. There was also another bunny noticeably absent amongst the horde.
“Where does Judy fit into all this?” I asked.
I couldn’t help but detect a few of the rabbits around us twitch their ears slightly at Judy’s name. Bonnie kept her voice quiet as we turned down a darker hallway in the burrow without anyone to eavesdrop on us.
“...She helps on the occasion. But with her leg, there’s not much around the farm we like to assign her without fear of straining her. So, she’s free to do as she pleases around the burrow.”
“But she doesn’t like to spend her time here?”
“No, she doesn’t,” Bonnie gave a gloomy look with her tired, purple eyes in the shadows. “I think seeing the other kids active and doing things she can’t do depresses her. Stu tries to rein her in with his position as the mayor, keeping an eye on her. But since the incident with Gideon Grey...It’s been a rough few years. For everyone.”
We both went quiet. I had the mind to apologize for bringing up such a sore topic. But Bonnie spoke again before I could even open my mouth.
“Judy...Was always a happy child. She always did the right thing and tried to help everyone who needed her. No matter how small the problem or the mammal. She was always there to lend a paw or a kind word. And she thought she had her whole life laid out before her, even at age nine. No matter what anyone told her, she was going to be a police officer. Even Stu and I couldn’t convince her otherwise. When reality hit her, it hit hard and harshly. And she stopped smiling so much. Until she stopped altogether.”
Bonnie looked down to her feet and then up at me. She had no reason to like foxes, especially after what Gideon did to Judy. Yet there was a fondness in her eyes, directed towards me. It was almost more uncomfortable than the distrust I had received from her children.
“I’ve seen her start to smile again. When she’s talking about playing guitar. And you. It’s slight, but it’s there. I may not understand her tastes in music or the trends she follows. But it makes her happy. And I would give anything to have the old, happy Judy back. I know that’s impossible. But the music gives me hope. Your lessons with her give me hope.”
I was at a loss of things I could say to that.
“I...Well...Music can have that effect...”
“You can’t push Judy into doing something,” continued Bonnie. “I’ve tried. Stu’s tried. Everyone has. For the longest time, we’ve all tried to get her to care about something again like she did with her police officer dreams. To get some semblance of the old Judy again. Nothing worked. Nothing until you came along.”
“I didn’t do anything,” I admitted, thinking about my argument with Judy just a few hours ago. “I was just being selfish and stupid. A dumb fox.”
“Mr. Wilde, I’m not blind. I know you’re a fox. And I know your conflicts with my husband as the sheriff from word around the burrow. That’s probably the real reason Judy wanted to keep your lessons a secret from her father. Stu wouldn’t approve of you. But this isn’t the first time he’s been wrong about someone. I can promise to continue to keep things quiet from my husband if you keep doing what you’re doing to help my daughter.”
She took my paw with both of her own and stared deeply into my eyes.
“Please. I know she’s upset with you right now by how she stormed into the house earlier. Maybe it was a fight you two had. I don’t know the details. But, I’m begging you. No matter what she says to you, be there for her. This is the happiest I’ve seen her in years. And if you didn’t truly care about her, I know you wouldn’t be here right now. Promise me, you’ll listen to her and work things out together.”
This was the second time the responsibility of one rabbit had been thrusted upon me, all in the span of a day.
And, once again, I couldn’t say no.
“I promise.”
Bonnie released me and gestured down the hallway. At the end of the dark tunnel was a door, left ajar and a crack of a dim light shining through.
“She’s in her room. Good luck, Mr. Wilde.”
Judy didn’t bother to look up at me as I entered her bedroom.
Her den was what I expected it to be. Clothes covered the rug on the floor, unwashed and unkempt. Black was the constant color theme, with little vibrancy in the cave save for the blue light coming from Judy’s laptop. I recognized it as an older model from Pear, with its once sleek case dented with kinks. It was the kind of computer really only good for checking emails and browsing the internet. The place reeked of cigarettes, with an ashtray by Judy’s bed that had seen recent use, judging by the dying embers. The tray was among empty pill bottles, all scattered along the nightstand. All over the walls were posters of various rock bands, most of them punk. The outlier on display was for the up-and-coming pop artist, Gazelle.
Judy was sat on her bed, legs crossed and staring down at her laptop screen atop her thighs. A pair of headphones covered her ears.
“Hey,” I said, doing a slight wave in an attempt to get her attention.
She ignored me, letting the awkward silence fester like a cancer. I waited patiently with my paws behind my back so she couldn’t see me fiddle with them from nerves.
Finally, she brought the headphones from her ears and gave me a glance. The loud beat of her music pounded in time with my heart.
“Carrots—”
“You get five words,” she held up her paws before I could speak. “Just five. If I don’t like what you have to say, you leave. You understand?”
I gulped and nodded. Even without the pressure of Bonnie and Gideon relying on me, I faced a monumental task. I could have guessed Judy would pull the same stunt she did with Gideon on me, given she was angry with me. Though I had come a little more prepared than Gideon.
Still, I could only hope that what I had to say was enough.
“I am a horrible friend.”
Judy huffed and turned her gaze back to her computer. “Go on.”
Content to hear me berate myself, huh? Not that I didn’t deserve every last lashing I was about to give myself.
“Right,” I muttered. “I guess you knew that already. But I never told you that I’ve been miserable all week over everything that’s happened. I never got the chance to mention how much I missed hanging out together with you. How empty every day felt.”
Her ear twitched, but she didn’t look up.
“If you don’t believe me when I call you a friend, I don’t blame you. I really have been the most awful fox to you this whole week. I embarrassed you. I belittled you. I abandoned you. I didn’t trust you. And after all that I thought...I hoped that I could have made it all up to you with the surprise of the guitar. I didn’t want to see you hurt or angry at me. But, in hindsight, that was a completely selfish gesture.”
I caught the briefest glance from her before it disappeared.
“I’m getting the acoustic back,” I said. “It wasn’t right to take it from you. It’s as much yours as it is mine at this point. I don’t think it will make things right, but it’s the least I can do.”
Even if it makes me look like a complete idiot in the process. You’re worth it.
“And if you want to keep on hating me, then I don’t blame you. If you don’t want to be friends anymore, then I’ll respect that. But you wanted to learn how to play. And I’m still willing to teach you...If you’ll have me. Though I know I don’t deserve it. But I’m going to give it everything I have for you. With this and my own training. You make me want to do better.”
My eyes watered slightly, though I managed to control myself and steadied my voice.
“I never got to show you what I can be,” I said, as I wiped my eyes. “As a friend. I’ve only shown you the worst of me so far. And that’s not fair. It’s not right. I really want to be better. I do. Even if you were right all along about me. That I really am just a dumb fox. But for what it’s worth, I am sorry. For everything about this rotten week.”
Judy digested my words for a long time.
I could breathe easier when she sighed and put her laptop away. She leaned on the edge of her bed, staring up at me with a furrowed brow and sharp eyes. Judy’s glares could cut me up like a razor blade, even when she wasn’t using her mouth.
“I don’t want an apology,” said Judy tartly and with her arms crossed. “In my experience, they’re hardly worth anything anyway. And I don’t want you to change anything about yourself for me. You need to make your own decisions. I just want a promise. I want your word that you’ll never force me into doing something after I’ve told you I don’t want to do it.”
I nodded.
“...I want things back to normal. I know you’re not perfect. I know I’m certainly not. But this is a simple enough of a rule for you to get your thick head around and keep us friends. Don’t you agree?”
I nodded again.
“Can I get your word then?”
“Carrots, I promise I’ll never push you into something you have no interest in ever again. Especially in joining a band. Cross my heart.”
Judy sighed again and shook her head. “You’re not listening again. I didn’t say I had no interest in the idea, dumb fox.”
I blinked a few times.
“You...Do have an interest in joining a band?”
“Of course. Everyone secretly wants to be a rockstar, don’t they? Why should I be any different?”
I weighed my words carefully. “Then...Why wouldn’t you want to try for it?”
My question put Judy on the defensive, if her pause was any clue. But instead of snapping at me, she reflexively grabbed at her left ear and played with the rings along her elongated lobe.
“...Because I’m scared to.”
“Scared?”
“Yes, shut up. It’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” I muttered my constant catchphrase. “Carrots, what could you possibly be afraid of just trying it?”
“Failing.”
I winced at the obvious answer to that question. Judy drove home the point by rattling off her worst shortcomings.
“I’ve tried being a normal rabbit after breaking my leg. That didn’t go so well when everyone pities you or is afraid of you. Gave junior police academy training a shot. Twelve times. Hard to be cheery about trying something new after that. When all that failed, I put my faith in fake friends and a fake lovelife to support me and get me out of this place. Andrew ended up burning me. And then I was...Wrong about my other assumptions.”
We looked at each other with shared sadness in our eyes. Judy shook her head.
“Just hard to see the positives in trying for anything new when I keep failing. What’s the point?”
“I dunno,” I replied. “What’s the point in me trying to get fit enough to join the ZPD?”
Judy spoke without thinking. “Because you’ve proven you can do it. It’d be a waste if you didn’t at least tr—”
She caught herself before she answered her own question.
I gave her a careful smirk. Judy had walked right into her own trap and she knew it. She gave a pained grunt, like she had barbs around her ankle.
“What?” she asked in the meager hope she’d deter me from my argument. “You think I’m good enough to join a band? You want me to do this?”
A small test from her. And I knew what my response had to be.
“I think you’re an excellent musician and you could be amazing in a band. But what you want to do is totally up to you. Not me.”
Judy let out a short laugh, knowing that I was proving I had learned my lesson. “Good answer.”
“Though, me being honest, I think you really do want it. Deep down.”
“And what gave you that impression?”
“Little things. Like the extra practice you've been doing while I'm at work, breaking into the apartment. Why else would you be doing that?”
Judy scowled and flexed her bandaged fingers.
“And you have perfect pitch. You're a natural at music with your hearing. You're apparently a great singer. You have the drive for it, teaching yourself from nothing. There are mammals who have started bands from less.”
I looked at her straight in the eyes.
“It's just my opinion, but I think you'd really be amazing at it. No exaggeration. The band Gideon's talking about would only be so lucky to have someone as awesome as you with them. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.”
I gave Judy all the time she needed as her feet swayed along the edge of her bed following the rhythm of the music blaring in the room. She kicked hard when she missed a beat and huffed.
“This is my decision,” she said, glaring at me. “My choice. No one makes me do anything. Ever.”
I nodded, prompting her to continue.
“I….I want to join a band and take the next step. I think... I think I'm ready.”
To speak would be to patronize Judy’s uneasy confidence, so I just smiled and nodded along again as she finished.
“...But, I need your help,” Judy admitted with her voice trailing. “And the way I see it, you owe me big time for selling my guitar.”
“ Your guitar?” I crossed my arms, and didn’t drop my smirk. “I’ll have you know there’s a receipt buried in my mother’s apartment somewhere that will prove you wrong.”
“Whatever. Can you help me with this or not? Can you help me learn electric guitar and get into this stupid band?”
“Carrots, you know you don’t have to make deals with me anymore to help you. I’m with you all the way. No matter what.”
She frowned and slumped back into her bed, ears and arms spread out in all directions.
“I know you are. I’m just...I’m not used to all this. It’s like...You know what it’s like to be alone and then suddenly...Not?”
“I do, actually.”
“Then you don’t have to answer me so quickly, dumb fox.”
“Hey,” I said, sitting down next to her. “I meant what I said. I’m right here with you. If you’re serious about doing this, then tell me how high to jump. Let me show you what kind of friend I can be when I’m really trying. I’ll do anything I can to help you get into the band. Anything you ever need. I promise.”
I offered her my paw as Judy continued to lay down on the bed. She let out a huff of air before grabbing hold of me.
“I’m going to keep you to that promise, you know. Both of them.”
Notes:
And thus begins the first step to becoming a rockstar...Have a good weekend everyone!
Chapter 24: Track 24: “Mutt”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“So,” I grunted, as I rose from the ground and spoke with each push up. “What are. You. Going to. Name her?”
“Who said it’s a she?” Asked Judy from atop my back.
The morning of the next day brought back the return of our workout routine together, plus one with the ironwood guitar. While sitting cross legged on top of my shoulders, providing me a little extra weight to my exercise, Judy fiddled around with the strings. She was adjusting to it after being used to holding an oversized instrument for so long. I imagined it would be strange to have something that was suddenly a perfect fit for her. Uncomfortable, even.
“All. Instruments. Are. Female. Like. Boats.”
I could feel Judy run her paw along the frets. She didn’t have the ironwood plugged in, but she was curious to try it. I could tell that much by how gently she held it. She looked like a mother nourishing her newborn child for the first time. After the hour she spent touching the strings, her fingers knew every inch of the guitar like a painter knows their canvas. But she wasn’t ready to play yet.
“What would you name her then?” Judy asked as she shifted in place around my shoulders. “You’re technically the father.”
“So is. Gideon.”
“Ew. Thanks for the mental image of you two being in bed together.”
“Got a problem. With. Foxes. In bed. Carrots?”
I sensed Judy’s ears droop slightly, making me wish I had bit my tongue instead of using my smart mouth. With everything that had happened, there still hadn’t been time to think about my feelings for Judy.
“Not so much foxes. Just...He’s too fat for my tastes. If you can’t even catch me with my limp, you don’t deserve to date me.”
“So. You wouldn’t. Date. A sloth. Got it.”
“Ugh, no. That would be so boring. I could finish up eight times in the span it’d take for him to go one round.”
Her dirty joke caught me off guard and I choked back a laugh, causing my arms to give out and me to collapse on the floor with Judy still on top. This, in turn, caused a chain reaction of us laughing as we tumbled in a pile of fur and wood. I rolled on my back with her looking over me, the guitar to the side. Both her paws on the floor, our snouts facing each other.
The giggles soon turned into a coughing fit as I tried to push Judy off me to keep her from crushing my lungs.
“Okay. Off, off, off. You’re hurting.”
“You still didn’t answer my question,” said Judy as she took her place on the couch. “What do you think I should name it?”
“You're really going to ask me for names, Carrots? Trust me, you don't want that. I'm terrible at naming things. Just look at your nickname.”
“Carrots isn't a terrible name. Come on. I need ideas.”
I leaned back on the floor to catch my breath and think for a moment. I could remember what Ben said about the guitar being the older sister to the real ironwood instrument. A sort of black sheep in the family.
“Dark Sister,” I said, at once.
Judy looked down at me like I had corn growing out of my ears. “Ooookay. Nevermind. Your naming skills do suck. I’m picking the name.”
“What? Come on. Dark Sister is an awesome name.”
“You’re naming a guitar, fox. Not a flaming sword from one of those stupid fantasy novels.”
I huffed. “You’re going to hurt all one of my manly feelings someday, you know. Don’t let Jack hear you diss those books either.”
“Well, I’m not going to play this guitar until I know it’s name,” Judy said, her paw brushing against the red X at the ironwood’s waist. “That would be rude.”
“And we both know you’re anything but rude.”
“Shut it.”
I smirked at Judy as I got up for the kitchen to collect my breakfast. It took me a full three weeks to start getting used to the taste of muscle powder. Even then, I still couldn’t enjoy the gritty aftertaste that corrupted the sweet mouthful of artificial blueberry. Not to mention the drink never filled me up.
It was Monday morning and we had just finished with my exercise for the day. Judy was there just to get some early practice with the ironwood. We were setting it up for the evening and getting familiar with it. We definitely couldn’t do a full-blown play session first thing in the morning with Gideon asleep in his bedroom and our neighbors wouldn’t appreciate a rock show breaking noise violations before 8 AM.
“Josie,” Judy said to me upon my re-entry of the living room.
“Pardon?”
“Josie is what my mom wanted to name me,” she explained. “But dad liked Judith Laverne Hopps better. Hard to argue, I guess, given I have three hundred brothers and sisters. They were going to run out of names eventually and go down the list. But the name got shelved and I guess they forgot about it. Or didn’t want to start another argument over it.”
“So...Spiteing your dad with the name then, huh?”
One of Judy’s ears flopped to the side like an old, broken TV antenna. “Well, when you put it like that…”
“No, no,” I smirked. “It’s fitting. Sort of like a reflection of what could have been. I like it.”
“Josie,” Judy repeated the name and looked down at the ironwood. She strummed her fingers along the strings, though they only clacked together in mute appeal without being plugged into the amp. “I guess it works.”
“High praise from you,” I said before chugging my soupy concoction and sticking out my tongue in disgust. “So, are you going to fondle the thing all morning or are you actually going to try it out? I gotta be at work in an hour, you know.”
“I have no idea how to start it up.”
“It’s just like any other guitar. You still need to tune it and hold it just like the acoustic. It just needs an amp or headphones for you to hear the electric part.”
“What about a stomp box?”
“Save it for the show. You’re trying to just do some practice and a stomp box can mask your technique with noise. Just do what you would normally do before you’d practice on the acoustic.”
Judy jumped at the chance to prove that she had been paying attention to my lessons.
It was a routine check-up, first making sure the neck was firmly in place and the tuning machines were tight enough to give the strings no slack. We’d tune it properly later that night. Judy ran her eyes down the string and the fret to ensure the distance between the two was satisfactory. Ben did good work though and she could find no imperfections with the device. The screws holding the bridge were in place and the body was spotless.
“Done,” Judy said, looking more determined and comfortable with Josie.
“Alright,” I gave her a reassuring smile. “I’m going to plug you in now. Then you’ll be able to make some noise with the amp. Try to be gentle with it so we don’t wake anyone up.”
The amp had been set up on the coffee table temporarily until we could find a better place for Judy to practice. I had already proven that the headphones worked in my spare time. I figured I’d give the final honors to Judy for the guitar’s true first play session. With the money we had, Ben had included one of the smaller amps. A 10W was fine for a beginner and would be easy enough to upgrade down the line. I fiddled with the chord as I plugged it in with a satisfying click, while Judy handled her own end. I cranked up the volume to about 2. Quiet enough that we wouldn’t wake Gideon.
“Ready?”
“Ready.”
“Alright. Let her rip.”
Judy didn’t hold back and strummed at the fret. I prepared my ears for the blare of the amp, but the expected noise never came. The strings of the guitar hummed as they normally did. Judy’s disappointed expression said everything.
“Are you sure it’s in?”
“Of course it’s in. I’m staring right at it.”
“Wiggle it around, maybe that’ll work.”
“It’s not a toy, Carrots. If it’s in, it’s in. What do you want me to do? Shove it in and out until it makes noise?”
“Up the volume then. Maybe it’s too quiet.”
I obeyed, ramping up the amp to 10. Judy fruitlessly flailed on the strings, but there was nothing. Not a sound came from the speaker.
“Huh,” I muttered, reaching for the instruction booklet that came with the kit. “I guess it’s only fitting that the amp wouldn’t work after we spent so much on the guitar itself…”
“Sounds like you got ripped off,” said Judy as she approached the machine with the ironwood still in her paws.
“No. Old Ben didn’t seem like the kind of mammal to pull a fast one on me like that. And I normally have a good read on folks.”
“Maybe you’re just inexperienced with the equipment then.”
As I sorted through the papers, Judy inspected the amp next to me. My ears detected something click followed by the loudest guitar screech I had ever heard.
It was like someone had caused a sonic boom in our living room.
The entire apartment rumbled and I thought the windows were going to break. I instantly shoved my paws to my ears as the resonation from the amp rattled my brain. I wasn’t even aware you could actually see sound as my eyes wobbled in their sockets. Judy was standing next to the amp, unfazed by the explosion inches from her head. She was grinning from ear to ear, like an imp.
“That was awesome!”
It was hard to listen to her talk over the ringing in my ears. And I had to shout to even hear myself speak. And everything was slightly vibrating. Judy had literally rocked my world.
“What did you do?”
“I turned it on,” Judy said with a grin, pointing to the on/off switch glowing orange. I would have felt stupid for missing such an obvious oversight, were it not for my ears bleeding.
“Down,” I growled. “Turn it down.”
It was far too late to not make a disturbance though.
Outside the apartment, I could hear doors opening to mammals wondering what the noise was so early in the morning. An earth shattering guitar riff was certainly more of an alarm clock than anything anyone in the quiet trailer park had ever heard.
Even Gideon, who was standing in the hallway, looked very haggard and exhausted.
“Sorry, Gid,” I muttered as my hearing slowly returned. “Just experimenting with the new guitar.”
“I gathered…” he said with a yawn. “S’alright. I’ll just wear some earplugs.”
“We won’t be long,” I promised him. “Just making sure it works for practice in the evening. Night, Gid.”
He waved me off with another yawn and stumbled back towards the hallway, into his bedroom. He only stopped when Judy called out to him.
“Gideon, wait a moment.”
Gideon and I both shared a look of surprise.
Judy hadn’t even acknowledged him since their brief talk on Saturday. Even when I had introduced the ironwood, she would barely give him a glance. She was going off script by staring right at the petrified fox, who looked like he would much rather be in the safety of his bed than squaring off with her. I didn’t have an inkling of what Judy wanted from him until she spoke again, standing proud like she had a major announcement.
“I decided to try out for your friend’s band.”
She left a pause, expecting Gideon to speak in return. He fiddled with his paws a bit, unable to make eye contact as he answered her.
“Oh...That’s...That’s great, Jude.”
Judy let out a satisfied huff from her nose. “I want you to tell me about them. What can I expect?”
My vision was coming into focus again and the ringing was dying out.
Judy hadn’t spoken much about the band itself, despite her interest in joining them. I, myself, barely knew anything about them outside of what Gideon had mentioned on Saturday. Despite playing at gigs around the sticks, I had no idea if they were any good or not. I was leaning towards the negative considering they hadn’t expanded beyond the tri-burrows. But I also didn’t want to tell Judy that to lower her hopes. A bad band was better than no band for a first experience anyway.
“W-Well,” Gideon began with a gulp. “I don’t know if you remember Travis, but—”
“That ferret you hung around with in grade school?”
“Yeah...Well, he and his boyfriend, Angus, started up the band back in high school with another of their friends, a bobcat named Greg. But Greg left a couple of weeks ago to pursue a career as an actuary and went to community college.”
Judy’s brow furrowed. “Wait a minute...Is the name of this band Pain Kettle?”
“...Uh, yeah? I think that’s what Travis called them.”
She groaned and buried her face into her paw. “I knew it…”
“What?” I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. “Is that a problem?”
“You remember the band who played for my birthday party?”
I thought back to mid June. “What? Them? I believe I said they sounded more like a tiger with its tail in a door than actual music.”
Gideon winced. “Yeah...They’re a little rusty, especially with Greg leaving town…”
Judy turned to me. “This is already starting to sound like a bad idea. Andrew was the one to invite them to the party in the first place. I honestly can’t say I cared for their music.”
I couldn’t exactly disagree with her there. One of the few distinct memories I had about Judy’s birthday party was the poor choice in a soundtrack. While I was hardly one to judge, never being in a band myself, I would have to admit they were in severe disharmony.
“Well,” I said, rubbing the back of my head. “At least you could say this will be...Interesting? Right?”
“Not how I would describe it.”
Judy stood with arms crossed, the ironwood hanging down from her shoulders along the strap. Her nose was scrunched like she had just witnessed an offensive odor, making Gideon squirm from the hallway. Though she didn’t even give him any consideration. Like he was a bug so far beneath her that he escaped her notice.
She did another one of those sighs through her nose after giving the matter some thought before launching into a barrage of questions.
“It’s not my ideal situation, but I suppose nothing ever is. How many gigs have they run? What are they looking for in a guitarist? Who does the vocals? What kind of music do they perform? What are their long term plans as a band?”
Gideon looked like his head was spinning from all the sudden inquiries.
“I...Uh...I have no idea how many times they’ve played. Enough to be known in the tri burrows, I guess? But they’re mostly a rock band and have been searching hard for new shows to run. Travis really just wants someone who can play well...I think...And he’d prefer them to be...Um...A predator. To fit their image.”
Judy’s ears dropped ever so slightly at that comment.
In turn, I frowned and rubbed at my snout.
“Still want to go for it, Carrots?” I asked. “I don’t want to put you down, but this might be tougher than either of us thought. It’ll be hard to change their minds if they’re set on having a pred in their group.”
I was met with a wall of silence as she looked down at her feet. And then to the guitar around her shoulders.
“Then I’ll just have to prove them wrong,” she decided.
We shared a smile, though in private I breathed a sigh of relief.
I was still waiting for the moment when Judy decided it just wasn’t worth it to pursue joining the band and quit. Not that I would ever hold that against her, but it wasn’t going to be easy to change someone’s mind like that. And Judy didn’t exactly have the best reputation around town. I could easily see the band taking one look at her and turning her away before she even had the chance to play.
“Gonna need to practice a lot first, Carrots,” I said. “You need to make the jump from acoustic to electric. That’ll take a few days if you wanted to meet the band on Saturday.”
“Then you’d better be back here straight after work, dumb fox. One week. That’s all I have.”
“I promise.”
Judy spoke to Gideon without even looking at him. “You can go.”
I frowned and approached him to offer some kinder words. “Thanks for the help, Gid.”
“No problem,” he said in a whisper as Judy tended to her guitar. “Let me know if you guys need any more help. I’d offer it to Judy, but I don’t think she’d accept it.”
“Well, there is one thing. Anything I should know about this Travis fellow in particular?”
“Judy will remember him from back when I used to bully her. He was sort of like my partner in crime. We hung out a lot, but stopped talking to each other as much after the, uh, incident with Judy. He’s kinda turned over a new leaf since then. Very wordy ferret. Don’t let him scare you.”
“Don’t worry, I can talk circles around him.”
I let Gideon return to bed.
Judy was patiently waiting by the amp, having turned it down to a more reasonable volume of 2. She was playing a riff, something that was vaguely recognizable in the back of my mind. But I shrugged it off. My ears still felt like I had held my head underwater, though at least they weren’t ringing anymore. And there was the bonus of Judy getting more comfortable with Josie.
“So,” Judy said as I let her finish up. “What now?”
“What now?” I stuck a finger in my ears to clean out the loose notes still rattling around. “Now you get used to the electric. Though, we should specifically begin by finding you some protective plugs for your ears so you don’t kill your hearing up there on stage.”
“Protection? That sounds so boring…”
“Let’s hope that philosophy of yours doesn’t carry over to other things,” I rolled my eyes. “Also, you might want to consider taking a break from smoking.”
“Now you’re starting to sound like my mom.”
“Hey, fine. You want to kill your voice in ten years, be my guest. But if you want to be singing , then you’d better treat your throat like any other instrument.”
Judy turned her gaze from me. I swore I could see a hint of redness in her ears from my comment of her singing.
“Point taken...This will be harder than I thought.”
“Always is.”
Notes:
Next week: Judy's audition! Hope you're all looking forward to it!
Chapter 25: Track 25: “Generation Lost”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Judy had no trouble picking up the electric guitar, as I expected. By the weekend, she was as familiar with Josie as she had been my old acoustic. More so than ever, given the ironwood was a perfect fit for her. The rest of the week continued on the same, with joining the band constantly on both our minds.
While I was at work, Judy spent her time researching anything we might have missed about joining a rock band, including background on Pain Kettle. She discovered that they had actually played at a few minor events around the burrows, complete with an online forum for booking them through an out-of-date site that looked like something from the nineties. A quick scout through their FurBook page revealed that they hadn’t had a major showing since Judy’s birthday party, which was highlighted through a few sloppy pictures that looked like they had been taken on some kid’s cellphone.
All in all, joining the band felt like a sure thing for Judy the longer we went on. Excluding their desire for a predator, Judy ticked all the boxes for what they needed. Her guitar playing was on point and would only improve the more practice she had with Josie. She knew more songs than I did, with a memory that was practically photographic. Meanwhile I had memory that was more like an elephant’s, in reverse. We picked a few songs that would impress anyone well enough; crowd pleasers like Skunk on the Water to something more complex like Enter the Sandmammal.
Gideon worked out where we would meet the band. Though Judy was reluctant to admit it, we did owe him a lot for setting things up. Especially since he kept the fact that Judy was a bunny quiet from Travis, and did his best to hype her up.
The only problem was transportation.
Travis and his boyfriend had moved out of Bunnyburrow to one of the other tri burrows. Unfortunately, that meant they were far enough away that we needed to drive to reach them, given the equipment we had to bring along with us. More bad news was that Gideon was facing punishment in the form of longer hours from the mayor for being late to work so many times in the past week. I hardly had any time to see him, with him not even leaving notes out from being so overworked.
No Gideon meant no pick-up truck from his uncle. And I didn’t feel like walking thirty miles with a guitar amp strapped to my back. So, while Judy kept to her practice and preparations, I continued my exercising and focused on finding us a way to get to the third town of the tri-burrows, Catspaw.
“Nick, you were right about the avocados,” said Hank as I counted the final minutes until my shift was over. “They went bad real quick.”
It was 5 o’clock on Saturday and I had done well to avoid smalltalk with my deputy. Hank seemed more preoccupied with his food list for the Labor Day party and was using the station’s hardline to call various catering places that could accommodate a group of a few hundred police officers, with various mammals and sizes. The paper list in front of him on his desk checked off the budget he had to work with.
Needless to say, despite Humphrey’s best efforts, there wasn’t much in the way of finances.
“Maybe you should listen to the sheriff next time, who very clearly warned you. You know, instead of loading the fridge up with them and stinking the place with rotten fruit. Hmm?”
Hank just smiled, showing his silver tooth. “They were on sale. I figured freezing them might work. Can’t blame me for trying to get a deal going though. Humphrey wants me to feed over three hundred mammals on a budget that’s less than what I have in my savings.”
“Everyone has to do their part, Hank. Including me.”
My eyes glanced to the cruiser parked outside the station while I filled out some last minute paperwork.
“...Speaking of which,” I said, lowering my voice in a serious tone as if someone would overhear us. “I’m borrowing the car for tonight. Party business.”
Hank chuckled. “Too stern. You’re making it sound like you’re stealing it away to go on some sort of road trip, Nick. What? You have a date and want to impress a hot vixen by driving her around in our work vehicle?”
I rolled my eyes. “I've never dated before, Hank.”
“I find that hard to believe with a good-looking tod like you.”
His voice trailed off as I eyed him with something of a glare. He perhaps sensed that he was venturing into uncomfortable territory for me and knew when to back off. Watching him handle our conversation was like seeing someone narrowly skirt over a pothole. Hank, however, dodged the pothole only to veer right into a tree.
“...I haven’t seen Judy around here recently.”
There it was. I let out a heavy sigh.
“What are you implying, deputy?”
“Oh, nothing at all. Just ever since there was that accident on Route 6, the town’s gone all quiet-like. Not a peep from any troublemakers, Judy in particular. Folks are beginning to wonder what happened to her. Some are thinking maybe she left the burrows. You know how mammals talk.”
I answered Hank with a shrug and turned my attention back to my paperwork, hoping he would be smart enough to drop the conversation. I might as well have been asking for pigs to fly.
“...In fact, I haven’t seen her since she’d been hanging around the office a month ago.”
“Well,” I said with a forced smile that showed my teeth. “Maybe she’s turned over a new leaf.”
“Maybe,” Hank returned my smile with a smirk of his own. “Not saying she couldn’t. But that’s not an easy thing for anyone to do. Especially that rabbit.”
Don’t act like you know her.
That's what I wanted to say to Hank, were it not for me biting my own tongue. Acting defensive about Judy would not help my case. And I felt like the deputy was testing me, for what purpose I couldn’t say. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he would report me to the mayor for hanging around Judy.
Despite my glares, Hank continued to speak without an ounce of fear in his voice.
“Things in the burrows have always been a certain way, Nick. Preds and prey tend to clash in the sticks. Drop the professionalism and strings usually come undone. How it’s always been and how it always will be.”
I let out a huff. “My best friend in the city is a hare.”
“There’s always exceptions to the rule, especially in the city. You can call it old-fashioned, but there’s gonna be mammals all over the burrows who think like that. Pred and prey alike. That’s why things are the way they are. If that makes sense.”
To me it didn’t.
I wasn’t so naive that I believed all mammals could be friends. But if a cop and a punk could put aside their differences and work together, why couldn’t anyone else? And I wasn’t ignorant either. I paid attention to what went around the burrow. The grumbling amongst the foxes that lived in the trailer park. It was subtle and no one liked to talk about it. But it was always there, like a shadow on the wall.
“It’s good that you can make friends with a rabbit,” continued Hank. “Just remember, not everyone else might see it that way.”
“Mammals will always talk,” I said as I rose to grab the keys for the cruiser. “Let them think what they want. Why should I let it bother me?”
Hank muttered something I barely heard before exiting the door. “That’s precisely what I’m afraid of…”
Judy and I shared the same bad mood for different reasons in the cruiser.
After loading up the guitar and all the equipment that went with it, we were on our way to Catspaw in silence. I took out my frustrations on the road while Judy looked like she was battling a headache. She didn't speak up on what was troubling her until we were twenty minutes into the drive.
“You don't happen to have a cigarette on you. Do you?”
The question gave me my first real smile since I had left the station. There was comfort in old habits, even the bad ones.
“Haven't had one since that night in July, Carrots.”
“Ugh. Quitting was such a bad idea so close to this audition,” she started to claw at her eyes. “I would literally kill someone if it meant getting a smoke.”
“Wait, you seriously quit?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh,” I said, blinking a few times, trying not to lose track of the road and miss our turn. “I guess when I hear folks quitting, I expect more...Excitement over it.”
“Sorry. They don’t give you streamers or throw a party when you do end up quitting. Just a lack of sleep and cravings that never seem to stop.”
“I guess that explains why you’ve been more moody lately. And smell nicer.”
“If you weren’t driving, I’d punch you.”
“Hey, I’m happy you’re trying to quit,” I said. “Not judging you or anything. Let me know if you need any help. I’m just surprised because I know it’s not an easy thing to do. My mom used to smoke too, until she had me.”
Judy raspberried at that comment and followed up with the predictable dig at my age. “When was this? Forty years ago?”
“You can insult my age all you want, Carrots. But never take a shot at my mother’s. It might be the last thing you ever do.”
“Why?” She smirked at me. “Going to get physical over it?”
“I’m not. But she might. Mom’s a little...Sensitive about her age. It was a bad day in our house when she discovered her first grey hair.”
“How old is she?”
“Forty two since May. Though she certainly doesn’t look it, even with her acting like she’s turning sixty next year.”
I saw Judy do the math out of the corner of my eyes.
“So...She was sixteen when she had you?”
There was a surprised tone in Judy’s question. Like she thought I was exaggerating my claims.
“Yep. Her high school boyfriend didn’t want the responsibility, so they broke up. Never met my dad, but can’t say I’d want to given her history with him. Better than a shotgun wedding, I suppose.”
“Oh.”
I detected Judy’s ears drop a little, causing me to frown. “What’s wrong?”
“I guess I...I dunno. I thought you just came from a normal home.”
I chuckled. “Normal as in nuclear family normal?”
“Kinda…”
Judy turned away in embarrassment, no doubt realizing how ignorant she must have sounded. Not that I minded. It was cute when her guard was down.
“Well, normal for me was having a single mom who wasn’t even into her twenties when she started raising me. And it was just the two of us for awhile, with mom not really having enough time to date between managing me and holding work.”
“Didn’t your neighbors ever try and help?”
I tried not to give another laugh. It was at times like this when Judy showed her limited perspective of the world, being stuck in the burrows her whole life.
“Carrots, we were one of the families better off in the city, all things considered. I had a parent who was always there to provide for me, no matter what I needed. A lot of kids my age didn’t even have homes to go back to at the end of the school day, especially the predators. No one is really chummy with their neighbors in Zootopia, like they are here in the burrows. Growing up, my neighbors were an elephant who spent all his money every night to get drunk, a crazy possum who had lost her litter and kept dolls for each child, and a tiger couple who would keep me up all night with their shouting matches.”
Judy looked down at the dashboard and kept quiet for a while. It was a good few minutes before she spoke up again.
“You weren’t kidding before,” she said. “The city isn’t full of sunshine and rainbows, is it?”
“It wasn’t all bad,” I assured her. “Just a bit more solitary. Makes you value the friends and family you manage to hold onto. And I’m sure it’s just the same in some areas of the burrows too.”
“Maybe.”
Catspaw was nothing like the other towns I had seen around the burrows, though I shouldn’t have been surprised given its location.
Out of all the towns in the burrows, Catspaw was the relatively closest to Zootopia. Close enough to be downwind of the smog and pollution anyway, even at over a hundred miles from the nearest city district. Giant weather machines and high-tech equipment always had consequences. And you couldn’t create an artificial blizzard without that causing problems for someone somewhere else. Catspaw battled against a literal swamp for its survival.
The mix of cold and hot air from Zootopia caused the area to see frequent storms that drenched the area in an almost perpetual smoggy downfall. The drizzling started almost as soon as we were a mile away, with the mountains protecting the rest of the burrows from the same fate. Such crummy weather all the time meant the town was a poor place for farming. But that left a good few thousand acres of land with only one real use.
The folks around Bunnyburrow knew Catspaw as a dump. Giant landfills made up a majority of the landscape, creating little hills of trash in the middle of the expansive bogs. What few buildings there were looked more like witches’ shacks, shoddily put together in a hurry. There was little else good for the land besides the various recycling plants, where most of the local populace worked. Worst of all was the stench. Wet fur didn’t have an appealing odor, no matter whose fur it was. And all of Catspaw smelled like a damp skunk, even with the windows rolled up.
We pulled up to a large warehouse a fair distance away from the swamp. Judging by the strips of open tar road around the building, I guessed it was a part of an old airfield from the forties. There weren’t any aircraft around though, and the place looked like it had been stripped for parts years ago. Over the sound of a thousand frogs in the distance, there was the familiar smashing of drums and a bass guitar.
“Sounds like the right place,” I said as I shut the door.
Judy nodded and let out a deep breath as she stared off into the swamp.
“You okay?”
“Just being stupid,” she whispered. “God, I really, really wish I had a cigarette…”
I frowned. Of course Judy was going to be nervous. The whole week had been building up to this moment for her. I would have been astonished if it didn’t phase her at all. But I knew better than to fuss over her. That would only make things worse.
“Why don’t you unload?” I asked. “I’ll go on ahead and let them know we’re here.”
She let out another puff of air, but gave me a nod of thanks. In return, I gave an assuring smile before approaching the air hanger. The music died as the band inside finished their set. That gave me an opening and I hurried along through the muck to reach them while they were on break. I made it through the hangar door and knocked.
“Hello? Anyone home?”
Based on Gideon’s description of Travis and his boyfriend, my mental image of the pair was close to how they looked in real life.
Travis was a short ferret, with a stereotypical black mask fur pattern on his face. However, he was definitely the cleanest ferretI had ever seen, from his spotless white T-shirt to his whiskers, kempt and straight. I couldn’t help but compare him to Duke, a weasel from the streets of the city and a known hustler. But the difference between the two was night and day. What a change regular showering made. While Duke had been known to speak with a constant snarl on his lips, Travis had a much calmer demeanor and showed none of his teeth when he talked.
“Can I help you, officer?” he asked with a respectful tone of voice. “I assure you, we’re in no violation of the city sound ordinances. We keep the volume at a reasonable level and are situated far enough away from any city centers.”
“Huh?” I asked, realizing that I hadn’t changed after immediately leaving work. “Oh, the uniform. No, I’m actually here about the open guitarist position and a proposition.”
Travis’ eyes lit up and turned his attention to his boyfriend behind him, on the drums.
Compared to Travis, Angus was a giant, even for a coyote. The canine was no stranger to snacking, if his gut under the knit turtleneck sweater was any clue. But his real size came from his great height. Even sitting down, I could tell that Angus was a large coyote who would probably tower over me and most other mammals in the burrow. He had a gentle disposition to himself though, like someone who was afraid they would break something around them by moving too quickly. Every movement he made was delicate and done with great care.
Angus gave Travis a shrug at my appearance, but never spoke. Travis turned to face me again, all warm smiles.
“Oh, of course. Gideon has said so much about you. You’re perfect. When can you start?”
I gave the ferret a confused raised eye before realizing what was going on. “Oh, no. I’m not the one he was talking about…”
My voice trailed as I looked over my shoulder to the hangar door a few feet behind me. Judy had stepped into the warehouse, with Josie over her shoulder and the amp in her arm. She gave Travis a stern, if rigid, nod as she took her place at my side.
Travis’ face ran through a series of emotions. Following the expression of sheer and utter confusion, he frowned so deeply you’d think that someone had told him Christmas had been cancelled. Then came the denial, laced with a sprinkling of anger.
“Very funny,” he squeaked. “Hilarious. I see old Gid still has his sense of humor.”
“It’s not a joke,” Judy said in a neutral tone, though I could sense she didn’t appreciate being mocked by bitter predators.
Travis put his head in his paw. “You’re suggesting that the guitarist Gideon has been promoting to us all week is the rabbit who literally chewed his ear off?”
It was like someone had told the punchline to a joke. And no one laughed. Travis turned to me next.
“And who are you supposed to be? Her warden from juvenile hall?”
“Her friend,” it took a lot of self control to not growl as I spoke. The ferret’s tone was fast becoming sour notes to my ears. “And some moral support, as well as the representative of some interested parties.”
“Interested parties?” Travis repeated the phrase. “What? Are we being strong-armed by the mayor into accepting his daughter as our new band member?”
“No one is being forced to do anything,” Judy stepped between us before I could snap back at the ferret. “Look, Travis, I’m here because I sincerely wanted to join your band.”
“Wonderful,” replied the ferret with his arms crossed. “Good for you. That doesn’t mean we have to accept you though. Or even give you the chance to join, unless you want to try to bite my ear off too. I’ll bet you pressured Gideon into this little scheme. He’s always been meek since you attacked him.”
Travis and Judy were roughly the same height and they stared each other down. Judy kept a strong face, trying not to show any anger towards the ferret’s snide comments. From behind, I couldn’t see how she was doing. Travis certainly didn’t lose any of his edge.
“You come strutting in here like you own the place. Well, you aren’t in Bunnyburrow anymore, rabbit. It may be a slimy, leech-infested dung hole. But this is our home . And I’ll be skinned and pelted before you bully me in my own home.”
Judy ate all his words without moving a muscle, even when he came up to her face and was practically barking.
I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. “What is your problem?”
Travis blinked and turned his attention to me.
“Do you even know who she is? Or who her family is? Does a fox like you care about the hardships they impose on us for having the gall to try and live in Bunnyburrow? Or do they have you buttered up too?”
With that, I knew exactly what the ferret’s issue was.
“You think she’s responsible for all the bigotry around the burrows.”
Travis let out a guttural huff. “Don’t insult me. I know you can’t blame everything wrong between predators and prey on one mammal. And it’s not like the bias against preds has never existed before what happened between her and Gideon. But she made life so much worse for so many other mammals.”
From behind her, I could see Judy cringe. I caught a glimpse of her paw clenched at her side in an effort to control herself.
For a moment, I was seeing red when I looked at the ferret.
“But you take it way too far,” I snarled. “You’re not the only one with problems, you know.”
Behind Travis, Angus was rising from the drums while casting a warning glare at me. Travis spoke with his arms crossed and his full focus on me, leaving Judy to the background.
“No, we’re not. But we’re the ones who have to worry about where we’re going to be living next year. We’re the ones who can’t afford the lower-income housing solutions that the mayor is so keen on trumpeting to fix the financial mess the burrow is in. We’re the ones who take whatever jobs we can get just to make ends meet because the rabbits aren’t hiring us for the cushy careers. So go ahead. Pretend we don’t exist. She certainly doesn’t think we do. Her and the rabbits just like her in Bunnyburrow.”
Travis nodded in Judy’s direction before continuing.
“Easier if we’re just forgotten and lost in the swamps or trailer parks. Out of sight, out of mind, right? So, don’t paint me as the bad mammal here. Or the unreasonable one. I’m just dealing with the cards I’ve been dealt, same as you.”
I had a mind to open my mouth and get into a bigger argument with the ferret. Mention something about how I had grown up on the streets and seen the stuff he was talking about too. How I was also in the mayor’s bad books.
But I was stopped by a calm voice from my side.
“You’re right.”
Both Travis and I cast a look over to Judy, who had been the one to speak up.
I didn’t find the rage or anger I would have expected from Judy’s eyes, though that would have mirrored the emotions I was feeling. Instead, she had an expression of sorrow and remorse in her frown and looked almost empathetic towards Travis.
“You’re right, Travis,” Judy repeated with everyone giving her their full attention. “I’ve never considered the kind of hardship you, or any other predator, might have had to go through in the burrow because of what happened between Gideon and I. To be honest, I was too busy pitying myself to ever really care about what happened to the other mammals. Not until now, anyway…”
Travis gave a grunt of disbelief. “What? I’m just supposed to believe you’ve turned over a new leaf? Just like that? I’ve heard about the trouble you got into, even after we left Bunnyburrow. And you want to bring that reputation here into our band?”
“You’re not even going to give her a chance?” I spoke up.
“Should I? Would you?”
“No,” Judy answered solemnly. “If it was me with the band, I wouldn’t take someone with my record either. But I still want to try it all the same.”
“Shame that’s not how the real world works. We all don’t get what we want because we have daddies who are the mayor and conveniently sweep up any mess we make under the rug.”
“I know how the real world works,” Judy spoke with a more bitter tone. “I know life isn’t fair. But I want to do this anyway.”
“Well, that’s awfully brave of you, isn’t it? But I still don’t see why we should just let you join us.”
“Because, you haven’t had a real gig in over a month. And I know that because the last one was at my birthday party in June.”
I couldn’t help but smirk at the quick turn of expressions on the ferret’s face. In the heat of the moment, I had almost forgotten all of Judy’s prior research into the band. Travis’ hurt face was soon replaced by an uneasy look of a skeptic.
“And you just happen to have an offer for us?” he snapped. “What? Are you throwing another birthday party? I recall it was your old boyfriend who approached us the last time.”
“This is for a Labor Day party, actually,” I stepped in, remembering my professional duty for being there. “That’s one of the reasons I’m here. I represent the local police group and a get-together we do every year. We need entertainment and a rock band would be perfect. But what’s a rock band without a guitarist?”
I had been on the streets of the city long enough to recognize someone experienced with hustling. Travis did not fit that bill in the slightest. Much different from old Duke. He seemed to be just putting all the pieces of the puzzle together as he glanced between me and Judy.
“This is a bribe,” he decided.
“No,” Judy said more sternly. “I want to earn this on my own. No one’s being forced into doing anything. But you need me and I need you. We’re on even footing. And I don’t even want a cut of the show’s pay. I just want to play.”
The ferret’s disposition was weakening. Even Angus in the back was shifting around, getting more uncomfortable with saying no to us.
“How do we know you’re even any good?”
“Well, I’d be happy to show you how I play in practice…”
Travis swallowed hard at that request, eyes shifting between the two of us. He dragged on the display for a solid minute.
I was fast losing my patience with the ferret.
“You’re getting a good deal here,” I pushed. “Why the hesitation?”
“Because” Travis’ words dripped slower than tar. “Her...Demographics don't fit our image.”
“She’s offering to help you, and she’s doing it for free.”
“I don’t buy it. There’s some sort of catch.”
To me, that crossed the line between reasonable argument and dumb stubbornness.
But before I could raise my voice, or do something else stupid, Angus stepped in. The coyote placed a massive paw on Travis’ shoulder. Without saying one word to his partner, just sharing a tired look, Travis let out a heavy sigh and looked Judy straight in the eye.
“Alright. Fine. We can, at least, see what you can do. But if I’m not impressed, you can walk. Do you understand?”
“Got it,” said Judy as she hopped up to the makeshift stage.
Travis turned his moody gaze over to me. “Officer, I’d much like to speak with you regarding this...Deal. Pred to pred. In private.”
I frowned, wanting to stay and help Judy get set up. Work was going to have to come before the play though, and I wasn’t about to soil Judy’s chances by protesting when the ferret was just starting to become agreeable.
As Judy worked on her amp, I followed Travis out of the hangar.
We stopped when we were enough distance away that even a rabbit wouldn’t be able to hear us. Though he kept to a low whisper to be safe.
“A fox and a rabbit,” he said with a shake of the head. “And not just any rabbit. The rabbit.”
“What's your problem with her?” I asked, thinking the ferret might be more receptive to conversation while away from Judy. “Off the books. Did she do something specifically to you?”
“Not directly. But there is a real reason Angus and I have to live out in Catspaw. Even beyond the whole predator thing.”
He sighed and kicked at the mud before continuing.
“Look, I don't hate her, okay? But I don’t like her. And this band is one of the only things Angus and I have left to enjoy together. Even when Greg left, we still kept it going. If she ruins this, I don’t know what I’ll do. I'm not talking about playing her badly either. I'm talking about tolerance.”
I nodded along. A different species couple living out in the boonies probably invited all sorts of trouble I couldn't even begin to comprehend. That thought iced most of my anger towards Travis as he spoke again.
“Angus wants to give her a chance. And I’m curious to see why the biggest punk rabbit in the burrow is friends with a fox. And a cop, no less. Did she mend bridges with Gideon too?”
“Not exactly,” I replied, rubbing the back of my head. “I don’t think that fence can ever be fully fixed. But Gid still wants to support her. And he’s my roommate, which is how I fit into all of this.”
“You’ve involved yourself in a very complicated relationship, haven’t you. Officer…?”
I realized Travis was searching for my name. We hadn’t even officially been introduced yet and I offered my paw.
“Wilde. Nick Wilde. And are there any other kinds of relationships?”
“Travis Winoski,” he replied as he took my much larger paw. “And I suppose not. Though my life could use a lot less complications, personally.”
He paused for a moment as we heard the sound of a few practice strings in the warehouse. Judy was still preparing Josie.
“What are we looking at in terms of numbers?” Travis asked.
“For the party size? Several hundred guests, at least. And that’s not including any family that shows up. In terms of the payment, you’d have to negotiate with the party organizer, Officer Humphrey. I’d be happy to pass you her number so you can talk to her. For a gig this size though, and it being an all-day affair, I’d expect somewhere around six to seven hundred dollars for the day. At least.”
The ferret seemed to ease up when I mentioned the money. “That could really help us out…”
“I’m not trying to screw you here. And neither is Judy.”
“I certainly hope you aren’t. But that remains to be seen.”
He sighed and covered his snout with his paw.
“Listen, Officer Wilde, I didn’t want to tell anyone this but we’re probably not going to be around Catspaw much longer.”
“Moving back to Bunnyburrow?”
“More like moving several states away. The area’s simply not open to many jobs for predators and we’re struggling to meet our bills at the end of the month even living in the swamps. We can’t afford to stick around. That’s part of the reason why we haven’t been looking hard for many gigs. And a part of the reason why I’m hesitant to accept your rabbit.”
I nodded along, though I couldn’t help but frown at the ferret’s words. Travis looked up at me with his big, tired eyes.
“It’s not something I like to bring up. Especially around Angus.”
A few chords of a guitar were playing in the hangar, signaling our time to return. We both arrived, on a more even ground, to the sight of Judy and Angus both sat at their respective positions. Judy had Josie around her shoulder and was starting to shred a few chords, getting into a groove. Angus kept the beat going on the drums. The coyote was a natural drummer. He knew his job wasn’t to be the center of attention in the song and to keep time for his bandmates. To that end, Judy could shine in her performance.
Seeing her in the spotlight, I could tell how long a way she had come in just over a month.
She was relaxed, slowly falling into the beat of the music. It wasn’t any of the songs we had planned from the start. It was something new. Fresh. Made up on the spot between the two musicians. Sure, it was just riffing. But it felt natural and I couldn’t help but tap my foot to the rhythm.
Travis looked on with arms crossed, attempting to be indifferent about the presentation. I detected his eyes slightly annoyed that Judy could keep time with Angus with no problems. A feat he deemed fit to challenge.
“Pick it up, Ang,” he said. “Double time.”
His boyfriend nodded and sped up his pace.
Judy hurried to match up, keeping the same beat they had been playing before, only at twice the speed. Travis was watching her fingerwork intently, waiting for her to slip up and miss a chord.
She never did though.
The song built up to its natural conclusion, leaving the final beats left to Judy. She finished her performance, sneaking a smile to me as I looked on from across the warehouse. I smirked back and gave the thumbs up, like we were playing a childish hiding game from Travis. Even with the frown he was wearing, we both knew she had left an impression. Like the buzz you get from knowing you had done well on a test in school.
Travis played it as cool as he could, shrugging it off.
“Well, you’re certainly better than Greg was. He couldn’t keep up with us.”
I let out a puff of air, a chuckle I killed in my throat to not sound rude. The poor bobcat had easily been the worst part of their performance at the birthday party, if memory served. And one bad guitarist was all it took to ruin a band. Travis scampered off to his bass guitar, propped up with care next to the stage. He strapped in and did a few short preparations along his tuners.
“Let’s see if you can.”
I hadn’t expected to get a full rock show, especially so late into the evening.
After standing for two hours, I finally caved in and sat down on the hard metal floor as the trio performed for me. And they were by no means in perfect sync with each other. Judy and Travis were competing with each other for dominance in the music, which brought down the overall quality but made for an entertaining spectacle. It didn’t take a casual observer to realize that they were probably equal in skill level. Judy was inexperienced, but she more than made up for it in her speed and determination. Travis knew his way around his bass guitar, and probably could play a pawful of other instruments if my ears were to make a guess. But he was also reckless and kept trying to one up Judy. Angus kept to the background, content to let the pair duke it out but subtly guiding them along with his beat.
They played straight until 10 PM without rest, letting the fatigue break them before calling the unofficial duel a draw. If we mammals had more sweat glands like pigs, they’d probably have been drenched from standing there drilling into their guitars for hours under the hot overhead lamps of the hangar.
Travis collapsed onto the floor, the fingers of his paw looking quite worn from the string.
“Alright,” he panted. “I’ll admit it. You’re not half-bad.”
“Half-bad?” Judy took a seat across from him with Josie in her arms. Her fingers were starting to bleed again. “I was kicking your butt back there.”
“Actually,” I stepped in. “You both could use a little more help on your teamwork there.”
The both of them glared daggers at me and I raised my paws as a pitiful defense.
“Just saying as your audience. You guys need more practice to be in sync.”
“Agreed,” Travis admitted with a hefty sigh. “Our usual times were the weekends at 7 PM, after work. But now we’re going to need a few more a week, given its almost September and the party will be soon. Angus works the bakery with Gid Tuesdays and Thursdays, so that’s out. Which leaves Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Until the party’s over.”
Judy blinked a few times to comprehend the ferret’s words. “Wait. Does that mean...I’m in the band?”
By the look on Travis’ face, I could tell he really, really didn’t want to admit it with words. “...If you miss one practice, I’ll change my mind. Don’t disappoint us.”
There were very few instances where I could call Judy adorable.
But as she sat there with her guitar in paw, the truth slowly dawning on her that she had passed her audition with the band, cute was the only word that came to mind. The hard exterior of her punkish appearance melted away in a dumb smile mixed with wide eyes filled with hope. I could tell she was resisting hard to jump up and squeal at her success. She tried her best to shake off her dumbfounded expression when she noticed my stares, earrings jingling in the wind.
“I’ll be back tomorrow then,” she said, rising from the ground.
“Don’t be late.”
Judy practically passed out in the cruiser by the time we collected all her equipment and packed up to leave.
I couldn’t blame her. I would have been exhausted too after my first real performance. I did my best to give her a break by doing the heavy lifting with the amp, giving her the time to wrap fresh bandages on her fingers in the passenger seat. When I returned, I found her slumped over with the seat belt being all that held her upright.
“That’s a good way to get whiplash with my driving,” I warned her, slamming shut the door.
She opened a bloodshot eye at me and shrugged off into the other direction. “Only when you’re driving. And I trust you not to get us into a horrible accident, dumb fox.”
Things went quiet as I let her get some rest before I’d drop her off at her house. It had been a long day and it was hard to believe that it was already nearing 11 PM. The time had slipped through our fingers and I spent the long drive reflecting on all that had happened.
About halfway back to the burrow, Judy stirred from her nap.
I could feel her eyes on me as I drove along. I tried not to give the impression that I noticed her gaze and kept my vision on the road ahead.
“...Thank you,” said a soft whisper.
I chuckled to ease the nerves in my stomach. “No need to thank me, Carrots. I don’t really deserve it. I sort of pushed you into this mess, after all.”
“You did. But you made it right. And that’s not what I’m thanking you for anyway.”
“I don’t understand then.”
Judy went silent for a moment and curled up into her hoodie. “...I would have lost my cool with Travis when he went off on me at the beginning. He hates me. A lot of preds do.”
“You did surprise me back there,” I spoke honestly. “I was more upset with the ferret than you were, or so it seemed.”
“I guess I just realized his perspective. He wasn’t being a jerk just for the sake of it. He’s in a tough situation, living where he is and dealing with what he does. It’s something I never experienced growing up in a big home with a lot of family around all the time. It was all very...Nuclear.”
My eyes widened slightly as I suddenly realized why Judy was thanking me.
“I’ve been thinking,” Judy said sleepily. “While playing with Travis and Angus. The music’s fun, but I want to do something with it. Does that make sense? Like...Not playing for the sake of it.”
“You mean give it purpose?”
“It’s just a thought,” she said, slumping further into her seat. “Maybe I can do the world some good with music. Eventually.”
She went quiet again and her breathing slowed. Poor bunny must have been exhausted from working herself up with nerves and the lack of sleep from her smoke break.
Everyone wants to change the world in some way. Leave their mark and make it a better place before they move on. I had never asked Judy why she had wanted to become a police officer when she was a kid. But, in a way, I didn’t think I had to.
We passed the sign welcoming us into Bunnyburrow along the train tracks. I kept a smile on my face while Judy slept. Dreaming big with the first leg of her journey complete.
“Eventually.”
Notes:
Whew, that was a ride! Next week we'll focus on Nick a little bit more, I promise.
*Edit* 100,000 words broken! About 80,000 to go, guys!
Chapter 26: Track 26: “She’s Out of Her Mind”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Pain Kettle, huh?” asked Humphrey. “Interesting…”
I cringed hearing the band’s name out loud. “I know they sound absolutely campy — ”
“ — I don’t think so, I think it sounds like a groovy name — ”
“ — But, they’re a rock band and they’re willing to play for the party,” I let my voice trail for a bit. “Plus...Judy’s with them.”
Humphrey leaned back at her desk while I sat across from her, fiddling with my paws between my legs. Her office space was probably as large as the entire station in Bunnyburrow, and she barely used half of it for her supplies and equipment.
It was the first time I had ever been to the state trooper headquarters, situated along Route 6. Hank and I rarely had a reason to go that far north, given it was way outside our jurisdiction. But after the band’s second practice session, I wanted to smooth the deal with Humphrey on Monday morning. Face to face was always a more personal method of communication. Especially if you were begging for a favor. Not that Humphrey needed much convincing.
She sat at her desk, my cellphone in hoof, watching Judy, Travis, and Angus perform Skunk on the Water. A classic. Humphrey didn’t have to know that the performance was the only one where the group was actually in sync with each other. They still needed a lot of work and the video I had managed to record was probably their best attempt at being an actual band with each other. But I knew they could work it out in time before the Labor Day party. Probably.
“Which is the one that left me that garbled phone call earlier?” Humphrey asked.
“Ah. That would be, uh, Travis. The ferret. He mentioned he tried to give you a call but he got nervous and hung up when he couldn’t get the words out. Something tells me that’s one of the reasons why they haven’t been able to get many gigs.”
I decided it would be wise not to mention their lack of guitarist probably also contributing to the lack of shows.
Humphrey gave me an expression of coy curiosity. She had sensed I was withholding some information on her. It was the serious kind of look, like the one a mother would give a child who was caught in a lie.
“So,” her voice was laced with all the blunt assertiveness of a baseball bat. “How do you fit in all of this?”
I blinked. “Pardon?”
“You just happened to find the band which Judy is a part of? I wasn’t even aware that she played the guitar, much less had an interest in social groups. She’s been hanging around you lately, hasn’t she?”
“I’ve been giving her lessons,” I admitted, rubbing the back of my head. “By her own request. Obviously the mayor doesn’t know about it, so can I ask you not to say anything?”
“Who am I going to tell?” Humphrey shrugged. “You’re right though. Stu wouldn’t much care for her hanging around a fox, no matter the reason. And I was wondering why she had been waiting for you outside the town hall a couple of weeks ago. Didn’t want to say anything there. What you do off duty is your business.”
Humphrey drummed her hooves on her desk, after she slid my phone across the table to me. I barely caught the device before it flew off the edge.
“But, let me get this straight. You've been teaching Judy guitar all this time to get her into a band...All for the purposes of having her play for the Labor Day party.”
I sighed as I fumbled with my phone. “You’re making me sound so crooked. No, she had an interest in playing before I even knew about the party needing a band. And, again, she came to me first.”
Humphrey let out a huff through her snout and smirked. “Just checking. Don’t want to hear that you’re taking advantage of a young girl.”
“It’s because I’m a fox, isn’t it?” I smirked at the obvious distrust.
“More because you’re male, but I’m not going to have that debate here.”
Humphrey was the only mammal I knew who could say something so hurtful with a pleasant smile and make it even sound like a compliment.
“Don’t mind me, Wilde. I’m just acting the overprotective mother. I know you’re a good fox and you would never do anything like that. Especially with Judy. I’m sure we’d find your cruiser in a ditch, with your body still inside it, if you ever tried something like that with her.”
“Motherly indeed. You have kids?” I asked, never prying much into Humphrey’s personal life before.
Instead of the cheery response I was expecting, Humphrey gave me one of her rare frowns.
“Nope. I can’t have children.”
“Oh,” I said, slowly processing what that meant. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I just thought...Given your personality…”
Humphrey shrugged. “You’re not the first to assume. Don’t stress it.”
We stared at each other in silence for a moment.
“So, are you the band’s manager then?”
I breathed a sigh of relief through my nose at the segue. “More the go-between. After I heard Travis fudge up his attempt to set up the gig, I figured I could handle it for them. Especially since I know we’re coming down to the wire with the party date.”
“Less than two weeks,” Humphrey tapped at her calendar posted on the wall. The Labor Day party was circled in red ink two weeks from Sunday. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you managed to handle this part of the event. That’s one load off my mind. But we’re coming down to the wire here. I’ve had to recruit outside help to get things situated. No thanks to your deputy, especially.”
I rolled my eyes. I knew from the moment Hank stumbled around with the food supplies I was going to have to give him a paw.
“I’ll see what I can do about Hank,” I promised her.
“Thanks. But he’s not the only one. You’re going to hate me for this, but the actual game events aren’t going so well either.”
My brow twitched at that concern. Now that Judy was safely in a band and making progress, I could focus on winning the attention of the ZPD scout. Humphrey sensed my disquieted reaction and raised her hooves.
“I know what you’re going to say. And don’t worry. There was just some confusion on how the games will be managed. ZPD headquarters has actually stepped in to assume direct control. They want a paws on approach this year, for some reason. Ownership of the actual events is going to an old friend of mine. She’s a drill sergeant from the academy.”
I could feel my blood run cold. “Would she happen to be a polar bear, by chance?”
“Yup! Ursula Friedkin. You know her?”
I put on the biggest, fakest smile I could manage, even showing my fangs.
“Sure, uh, sure do. She was my major when I was in the, eh, academy.”
“When I knew her, we were both just cadets going through training. We were bunkmates, actually. We split up though after graduation. I wanted to make a difference outside of the city while she went to precinct one. I heard the city changed her a bit, but she was still the same old, jolly Ursey when I gave her a call to ask for help. She was happy to lend a paw.”
Jolly is one word I would not use to describe that sadistic wad of white fur and blubber.
“That’s, uh, that’s great…”
“Anyway,” Humphrey gave me a big smile with her eyes closed. “If you would help Hank out with the food, I would be grateful. There’s also the matter of payment for the band. I’ve been saving a portion of the budget we’ve collected just for the entertainment. How does six hundred for the day sound? Plus whatever food they’d like from the party?”
I wasn’t in the right mind to be haggling with Humphrey. “Sure...That works…”
“Great!” She clapped her hooves together. ‘I’ll collect the cash and deliver it to them personally. Just give me a time and a place. How does Saturday sound?”
“Sure, that works…” I repeated.
[Friedkin?] Jack asked when I got around to informing him later in the day. [Dang, dude. I thought we were done with her.]
It was the end of the day and I had finished my shift at the office. We managed to borrow Gideon’s uncle’s pickup truck for the past few days after the funny feeling I got around Hank and the cruiser. The back was loaded up with Josie and Judy’s other equipment for playing with the band. I was just missing the rabbit herself, who was probably being held up by dinner with her family.
I passed the time by changing out of my blues and playing catch up with the other bunny in my life. I sat in the driver’s seat, with my legs on the dashboard, trying to get comfortable.
[I know...I almost had an aneurysm when Humphrey told me.]
[You didn’t tell her about your thing with the academy?]
I sighed heavily. [I mentioned to her I failed my physical exams several times...I guess the message didn’t sink in from that.]
[I would have told her everything. That bear had it out for us. Both of us. She didn’t think a hare or a fox had any business joining ZPD and did everything in her power to put us through the wringer. Well, we proved her wrong.]
[You mean you proved her wrong,] I corrected Jack. [I barely passed and didn’t make the cut for city picks. I still have nightmares of having to do boxing rounds with enormous criminals. I would honestly rather go back to living off the streets than go through that again.]
The memories of all the times I nearly blacked out from academy training left a burning sensation in my belly, like I was about to be car sick. I rolled down the window for some air, breathing in the humid fumes of the late summer evening.
[Don’t talk like that. You’re a real cop now, Nick. As much as her or me.]
I started typing something to Jack, but deleted the message and started again.
[I know. It’s just fitting, you know? Figures the thing that could land me a position in the city has the mammal who tortured me for two years as the final obstacle.]
[Well, times change, Nick. You’re older now. And smarter. And you’ve been doing that training with Judy, right? You got this.]
I gave a forced smile, as if Jack could see me over the texts. [Yeah. I got this.]
[Need me to come visit for the party? I’ve been meaning to owe you that trip and I can probably find an excuse. You promised we could go sailing.]
[Nah. I’ll be fine. And there’s no lake here for a boat.]
[Sinking my ship before it even sets sail, huh?]
[Well, I do know a pond for swimming…]
Movement from the side of the truck made me jump slightly and I lowered my phone to see Judy climbing into the vehicle. Given we were taking a truck designed for slightly bigger foxes, everything from the door to the seat was a tad oversized on her, like she was a child. But she still managed to look like an adult through all of it, staring up at me with determination.
“Dinner ran late,” her voice was hurried and impatient. “Come on, come on. We’re gonna miss practice.”
My smile turned genuine. “First thing’s first. Buckle up.”
She groaned but obeyed as I started the truck and dropped my phone into my pocket, ignoring the buzz from Jack.
Driving was never something I loved, especially if Hank or Jack was behind the wheel. But there were times when staring down the road provided a sort of relief. Especially in the dark when there were no cars around us. Judy’s voice provided a sweet melody to the rhythm of our drive through twilight.
She was a chatterbox that night, meaning she was in a good mood. Most of her topics I could respond with a simple “ah” or “uh huh.” Not that I wasn’t fully listening to her. I normally gave her my full attention. Just my mind was elsewhere. In a fog that I wasn’t even sure how to describe. Or even knew how to feel about.
“...And Travis hasn’t mentioned anything about me singing yet. But I think he just wants us to get into a groove first before we add something new to the mix like vocals. You know?”
“Uh huh.”
I could feel her glance at me as I focused on the road.
I continued to wear my masked smirk, a defensive habit I had picked up. Through practice, I could appear content in any situation and only I really knew when I was giving a fake smile or not. Somehow, Judy could smell through it. Or, at least, that was the expression I read on her face out of the corner of my eye.
“I’ve talked to them about renaming the band too after all this is said and done. Something better. Travis is hard to get through to. But I think Angus is receptive to the idea. You know?”
“Yep. Receptive.” Never hurt to repeat a few words to prove you were listening.
Judy breathed through her nose. “I’m also talking to them about joining the space program to improve our image. We’re going to Mars.”
“Uh huh...Have a good time.”
She crossed her arms. “Okay, what gives? You’re not even listening to me.”
“I’m listening,” I snapped out of the cloud around my head. “Something about Angus going to Mars to change your band name, right?”
“As amazing as that would be, no. Not even close.”
My ears folded down on my head and my fake smile ran away from the sight of the none-too-pleased bunny sitting across from me.
“Sorry, Carrots…”
Great. Way to bring out a moody Judy by acting spacy, Nick.
But Judy didn’t seem angry as she stared up at me. In fact, without taking my eyes off the road, she almost looked concerned with the frown stretched out across her face and her two buck teeth poking out.
“What’s eating you?”
“Huh?”
Judy never inquired about my well-being. Not that I could remember, anyway. Usually, our banter was filled with thinly veiled insults and jabs at each other. If there ever was any consideration, it was always me giving and never receiving. She repeated herself, culling her typical gruff attitude, if only for a moment.
“What’s got you upset? You can tell me, you know.”
I huffed a laugh, both at the thought that Judy was attempting to be comforting and that I honestly had no idea on where I could begin if I were to tell her about my thoughts. So, I tried to dissuade her.
“It’s nothing, Carrots. Nothing at all.”
“You know when you lie, your right ear twitches slightly. I noticed it at my birthday party.”
I reached up and grabbed at the tip of my ear, realizing too late that I had proved her point. Though Judy wasn’t smiling at her victory over me, I couldn’t help but let out a heavy sigh.
“Look,” I began. “Do you really want to know? This is...Complicated stuff. Even for me.”
“Yes. I do.”
Judy’s voice wasn’t defiant or indignant. She spoke as if there were only the two of us in the whole world, and us talking was the most obvious course of action. This was stuff I didn’t even want to chat to Jack about. Judy pulled it out of me, kicking and screaming. Emphasis on screaming. My closed mouth hid my groan as I pulled the truck over to a stop on the side of the road. My head was in my paw as I put it in park.
I couldn’t look to Judy for comfort. That would distract me and I gave a hard stare out into the dark street around us. We were in the wilderness between Bunnyburrow and Catspaw, where there was nothing but miles of farm before the mountain and woods. In the middle of the night no one would come out this far. I leaned my elbow against the steering wheel, stammering to find where I could begin.
“It’s stupid…”
“It’s not stupid,” Judy assured me.
I grunted at the irony of our situation. How did I even begin to explain what I was feeling? The answer was like an annoying gnat buzzing in my face. Tell Judy the whole story. She deserved that much after all the times she had spilled her guts to me.
To that end, I had to go back to where these feelings all began.
“I heard today that Humphrey recruited my old drill sergeant for the Labor Day party games.”
I studied Judy for a moment to see if she was having trouble keeping up. She nodded and I continued.
“That brought back some...Old feelings about the academy. You remember I told you I failed twice and had to be kept back two years, right?”
Judy nodded again. She wasn’t saying a word so she didn’t discourage me.
“It was...Rough to do that. Especially when Jack blew through it with flying colors. I almost gave up after my first year. And my drill sergeant was brutal about it. She was a mean, old bear that gave me no breaks. It always felt like she was picking on me specifically. And I wanted to quit after the first month. Chances are she would have been happy I had given up and gone home…”
I recalled many times trying to sleep in the smelly cots of the bunkhouse, paranoid that I didn’t belong there amongst the much larger and tougher mammals.
“I suppose it has to do with Jack...Kind of. We were the first mammals of our species. A fox and a hare who went through the academy together. We were a team. But he passed everything so easily while I lagged behind. When I finally graduated, I wasn’t proud. I was relieved. Now I’m finally a cop , I thought. But I just didn’t...Feel like I earned it. And when assignments came out, placing me in the sticks, that only confirmed it for me. Low end job for the low end fox. Meanwhile Jack is busy being a high-profile golden boy of the ZPD, racing off and catching big named criminals and being this face of hope in the city. Especially for the smaller prey animals. It’s like...How am I supposed to compete with that?”
We both kept quiet for a moment. I thought, perhaps, Judy was finally starting to get a sense how serious the conversation was and would drop it. But, instead she turned right around and went straight for the heart of the matter.
“Do you want to be a cop?” She asked.
Hearing the question out loud made the fur on my tail bristle.
So much effort had gone into my career as a police officer. So many years. Was it fair for me to turn around and say I didn’t feel like doing it anymore?
“...I don’t know,” I gave the only honest answer there was. “Part of me does. The other part was happier being a poor musician roaming the streets, playing for food. But it’s more complicated than that too.”
“What do you mean?”
“Carrots, the whole point of me coming out here as the sheriff was to eventually find a way to get back home.”
She fell silent for a moment, waiting for me to continue speaking.
“...And?”
“And…”
And thus we came to the knot in everything.
It had been a long time since I had felt as fulfilled as I had this past summer. Teaching Judy guitar. Hanging out together. Getting her started on a band. Getting to know her. If I really wanted to get home, this would have had two simple answers. Either I pushed to impress the scout or I gave up and went home in search of another career I could pursue.
Neither option sounded preferable.
“...And now I don’t know if I want to leave.”
I hadn’t just said that out loud. Had I? My mouth had moved on its own and let slip something that was dangerous to admit.
Wincing, I looked over to Judy to see what her reaction would be. She had turned away, glancing out the window before I could even register her face. Judy let out a steamy breath, fogging the glass. It had only been less than a week since she had quit smoking and already the scent of the cigarettes was fading.
Someone had to say something. There was an iron curtain dividing up our seats.
“Carrots — ”
“Bullshit,” she snapped at me.
I did a slow blink on the level of a sloth. “What?”
“You heard me. Why go through all the effort of everything up until now if you didn’t really want it?” She snarled, showing a bit of her teeth like a predator. “Because suddenly it’s too hard for you? Are you kidding me?”
“Carrots, it’s not like that…”
“Then don’t say things like that,” she was breathing harder now. “Don’t give up like some chump now that you can see the end right in front of you. Are you stupid or something? Do you…”
Her voice trailed to a softer tone as she looked down.
“...Do you know how lucky you are to have this opportunity? How I would trade places with you, if I could?”
I kept quiet. I knew how painful it was for Judy to see me try to earn a place in the ZPD. I could see it in her eyes every time we did my training together. How much she wanted to be there with me, at my side as a police officer.
But that jealousy was a two way street.
She didn’t know how much I envied her natural talent and determination when it came to music. I had known for a while, but I could safely admit it when she joined the band. Judy was an amazing musician, and much better than I could ever hope to be. And she was only going to get better with time.
“I’m not going to guilt you into doing this,” Judy said. “But I’m not going to waste my time either. If you want to quit, quit now.”
“I don’t want to quit, but I’m not even sure I can do this. There might not even be a point — ”
“Know what your problem is, dumb fox? You wear this mask of smarm and smiles to cover up your own insecurities. Then you don’t let anyone in to see the real you. And, before long, you start believing the mask is all you are underneath. But I know. I know for a fact, that you’re so much more than what you think you can be. You can be such a good person when you just let people in.”
Judy was getting close to shouting at me. She took a few deep breaths and gazed up at me with the widest eyes I had ever seen. I could see myself mirrored in their reflection, in the dark of the night. That’s when I noticed a growing redness in her long ears as she stared wordlessly at me. Judy must have recognized her own blush too, because she covered her face with her paw.
“So, please. Don’t. You can do whatever you want with your life. Just...Don’t make this about me. Okay? Don’t tell me you don’t want to leave the burrows because of me. Don’t...Don’t give me the wrong idea again. Please.”
My tongue was like sandpaper in my mouth.
Was that where my hesitation in all this came from? Staying for Judy? A month ago and it would have sounded laughable. Now...Now I didn’t have any words to say otherwise. I had spoken about our differences so often that they were practically a mantra I could chant. But the longer I spent with Judy, the less I felt they mattered.
There wasn’t any lust for her. That much was certain. But...She was my companion. My partner. A part of my pack. A special friend that I couldn’t bear the thought of losing. Someone I could trust to reveal my darkest thoughts to because I knew that she would do the same for me.
Was that love? I didn't have an answer for myself. But I knew what mom and Jack would say. And maybe Jack was right about one thing. Maybe I was broken. In more ways than one.
We sat in a deafening chamber echoing our last words to each other. Judy was the first to speak again.
“I can prove it to you.”
“Prove it?”
“I can prove to you that you can do this,” Judy said in something stronger than a whisper. “Tomorrow. During exercise. I’ll run you through something special that will convince you that you can do this. You can impress this dumb old bear and join the ZPD. You can be the first for something.”
“Carrots…”
“You’ll see,” she put on a smile. The kind a parent gives a child to let them know nothing is wrong. “You’ll see. You can do this. I know you can.”
I don’t think I need to describe how wonderful it feels to have someone believe in you. Jack always had my back in the academy. Mom was always there to support me through school. But with this...Something so personal, to know Judy was at my side. There weren’t any proper words I could use. But at that point, sitting in a smelly old truck off the side of a dirt road in the middle of nowhere, I could take on anything.
“Yeah,” I slowly smiled back. “I think you’re right.”
We were late to practice.
Travis might have kicked Judy out of the band right there, keeping good on his promise, were it not for my news concerning Humphrey.
We both knew the truth. He was too invested in Judy to let her go.
Notes:
*gasp* The one and only curse word in the main story! Just the one though. Gotta keep that T rating for the movie deal, after all.
By the way, would anyone happen to know the process for submitting to ZNN? I've tried it in the past but don't know if I did it right, I think it'd be worth a shot if they might be interested in the story.
Thanks and have a good week!
Chapter 27: Track 27: “Last Chance Blueprint”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Tuesdays were usually worse than Mondays for me. It was the bitter reminder that you were just starting the work week and still had so much longer to go before freedom. Mondays could blur by. Tuesdays tended to drag. But that Tuesday, I was facing the day with a smile on my face. It was the sort of morning where you thought nothing could ruin the rest of the day for you and you weren’t quite sure why. I certainly had no reason to be thinking that.
In the back of my mind, I knew that I was probably fast approaching my imminent doom with Judy’s promise from the day before. A workout so intense that I’d have no choice but to believe I’d win some attention with the ZPD scout. I could only shudder at what horrors Judy could conjure with her vivid imagination. Often, in her eyes, I was a plaything to abuse with whatever physical punishment she thought was fitting at a given day. But I always committed without complaint. Well, not without complaint .
Judy arrived at the crack of dawn, as was typical.
I was prepared with everything I needed, fully dressed in proper workout attire and carrying a water bottle with ice. I even had a power bar for food in my pocket in case I went hungry. Judy was ready in her own way, with a thick hoodie and her stopwatch. The weather was getting colder the closer we came to autumn. She also had no idea that I hadn’t slept a wink all night.
“Nice to see you all prepared for once,” she said with a smirk.
“I can be timely when I want to.”
Little did she know that I had been ready to go for hours. Most of my night had been spent pondering the words I had said to Judy in the car. And, more importantly, what they even meant.
Judy didn’t appear to be letting what I stupidly blurted out be held over her. Or maybe she was faking it as much as I was. It was hard to tell. And I wasn’t at optimal mental capacity for noticing the little details like that. Not that I was a zombie or anything. Just confused and conflicted with no one to consult on the matter. I already knew what Jack and mom would say. And they were wrong.
I had a better look at Judy in the morning light to confirm my lack of attraction to her. She appeared like she always did, with her seven earrings that caused her oversized ears to dangle. Her dark makeup that she always made the time to apply every morning. Her taste in black clothing that even a goth would turn their nose up at. Even if I didn’t know what my type was, I could tell that Judy wasn’t it.
I found myself being guided along the familiar route to the forest in the west for our walk.
“I do have work today, Carrots,” I warned her. “This can’t take too long.”
“Don’t worry. I was going to keep it short. Don’t you trust me?”
The question gave me a pause, one that Judy took notice to. I watched her ears lower slightly, causing me to stumble with my words. “Course I do.”
“Then come on,” she said before repeating her words to me from yesterday. “You can do this. You’ll see.”
I splashed myself in the face with some of the water from my bottle.
Time to wake up, Nick. You can mope about the thoughts you’re having after you survived the routine with Judy.
True to her word, we didn’t have to go too far towards the woods to find what Judy wanted to show me. That wasn’t to say I was thoroughly impressed with her presentation.
“A tree,” I said blankly. “You brought us all the way out here for a tree?”
Judy was leaning against one of the tallest trees I had ever seen outside of the tropic district, and those were cultivated to be large. It was an alpine, if the thin base and branches with fuzzy green nettles were any clue. It also dwarfed any other thing around it for miles, save for the mountains.
“Don’t diss Old Hickory,” Judy replied with a toothy grin. “He’s been around longer than the total sum of my family’s age, combined.”
Old Hickory certainly looked ancient. His bark was gnarled and thick, worn at the bottom from years of folks loitering around the base. The bottles and trash were buried in the ground like dinosaur bones and were dated from years ago. There were messages carved into the wood, mostly hearts with couples' names in them. Memories that were expected to last a lifetime but never bore fruit. Most of all were the streaks of colored lines going up and down the trunk. Judy specifically pointed them out to me.
“See those markings? The paint?”
“Yeah?”
“Those are points that kids have climbed up to.”
“You’re kidding…”
My eyes measured the length of Old Hickory. By my guess, the tree stood over forty feet in height, and that was low balling it. Paint markers littered the bottom of the trunk. Some of the more dizzying heights were at the halfway point and beyond. I strained my vision to see if anyone had managed to reach the peak.
I needn’t have bothered as Judy continued enlightening me on the old piece of Bunnyburrow history.
“No one has ever climbed to the top. I’ve seen kids come close. I even got to around thirty feet before my accident. Reaching the peak is sort of like an urban legend, before people stopped coming here.”
“No surprise there,” I had to shake my head to snap out of imagining myself clinging to the branches swaying in the wind. “You’d have to be braindead to try and reach the top.”
Judy went worryingly quiet for a few seconds before speaking again. “Yeah, about that…”
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me…”
“Come on. It will be fun?” Her voice inflexed on the final word, phrasing it like a question.
“Do I look like a squirrel, Carrots? Foxes aren’t built for climbing. Don’t tell me this is your plan. To get me to climb up there like a big dummy.”
“You’d be the first one to do it,” said Judy. “That’s saying something.”
“There’s also something to be said about being the first mammal to die in the vacuum of space. That doesn’t mean I want to aspire to do that.”
I was about to turn away, preparing myself to start jogging instead for my morning workout.
“And there’s something to be said about being the first fox in the ZPD too.”
My foot hovered in midair. “What are you getting at, Carrots?”
“Just saying,” she shrugged. “If you don’t think you can do something simple like this, what makes you think that you can handle being the first fox in the city police force?”
“Making an awfully big jump there,” I muttered. “They’re two very different things.”
“How?”
“One involves risking life and limb, with a high chance of getting hurt. The other is a job.”
“So,” she crossed her arms. “You’re saying if you join the ZPD, you’re never going to be at risk of getting hurt? Ever?”
“There’s a big—”
I stopped myself.
As crazed as Judy’s logic was, I was starting to see the point she was trying to make. What was the difference between the two? Officers, like Jack, risked their lives every day out on the streets. From my busking days, I knew just how dangerous the city could be. Thieves in the alleyways. Loan sharks ready to stake their claims on you. Mob bosses who would ice you without a second thought.
“Is this just a job for you?” Judy asked me, when she decided I wasn’t going to continue speaking. “Is that really all you’re going to see this as? You don’t get to be the first anything by being a coward.”
Judy’s last word struck a predatory instinct in me and I gave her a hushed growl, though it was louder than intended. Loud enough for her to hear me.
Her nose twitched and she doubled down.
“You want to be angry with someone, be angry at yourself. You’re the only one who’s standing in your way here.”
I could only cast a glare at her as I studied the treetop. Somehow, it looked even further away in the minutes that we had been talking.
“...And just what am I supposed to do if I fall? What happened to never endangering me again?”
“This isn’t endangering. I used to do this all the time as a kid. Just use your claws and you won’t ever slip on your grip. And if you fall I’ll catch you, obviously.”
“You’re going to catch me, a fox who is almost twice your size, from a forty foot drop?”
“What’s the matter? Don’t you trust me?”
Using her same words as earlier was cheating, but Judy was hardly the type to play fair. Especially with me. Judy reached around in her hoodie pocket. She tossed a metal cylinder at me. Spray paint, black in color.
“Come on. You can do this. It’s not about the climb, more about the principle.”
“Yeah...I’ve never been about principles much,” I replied, shoving the spray paint into my pant’s pocket. “I’m pretty sure this is vandalism too. Bad image for the local sheriff.”
“No one’s gonna know and I’ll even look the other way.”
“You just said you were going to catch me if I fall.”
“Then I’ll do both. Come on. I believe in you.”
I sighed, realizing that Judy was just going to say whatever got me up the tree faster. She was impossible to argue with. And impossible to say no to. Maybe it was the fact that I was too tired to argue more with her. Or perhaps it was the troubling sensation building in my gut whenever there was a quiet moment to be alone with my thoughts. Either way, without another word spoken to Judy, I found myself climbing up the trunk of Old Hickory.
I was about six feet off the ground when it hit me how stupid of an idea it was to fall for Judy’s taunts.
I made a surprising headway on the climb, passing the first threshold and reaching the lower branches. My muscles were tense, but I wasn’t winded. The training of the last month proved its use. Judy was right, my claws provided me all the support I needed to keep me steady. Everything was going fine until I looked beneath me and saw Judy as a little black dot a long ways down on the hard ground. That’s when I realized that the wind was causing the tree to gently wobble in the breeze, and getting worse every inch higher I climbed.
Why did you think this was a good idea, Nick?
The answer was I didn’t. But I was finding it harder and harder to say no to Judy, no matter what harebrained idea she concocted for me and my exercises. There was also something else to it. Something she had said to me in her mad attempt to convince me.
Police officers risked their lives all the time. That's what I wanted to be, right? A police officer, just like Jack. A proud member of the ZPD, stopping crimes and being respected all throughout the city. Could I even call that just a job if I truly was committed to it? Jack had colorful words for officers he had seen around the station who never took their positions seriously. Bigger mammals, who blew through the academy with ease because of their size. While the little guys, like us, scrambled to even match the same quotas. Life is never fair like that, and sometimes you had to take a risk to reach new heights that you never dreamed existed.
I just...Never wanted to really try before.
It never held any interest to me to be in the spotlight. Too many eyes on me. Too much of a chance to get hurt. Probably why I never pushed hard in my musical career either after a few auditions. It was easier to let Jack take all the credit in the academy and handle the publicity while I slinked on by, barely passing.
I grunted as I dug deeper into the tree and pulled myself higher up.
Being the first of something meant expectations. It meant attention. Responsibilities. Which could easily lead to disappointment if you weren’t constantly doing your very best all the time. And even then, there were no guarantees. In the academy, even days when I gave Friedkin my all, she still wouldn’t be satisfied and would chew me out for it. Why even bother at that point?
At the ten foot mark, I glanced back down to Judy.
She was staring up at me, expectantly. She was confident that I would reach the top, never any doubt in her eyes or her voice. Even at a distance, she stood proud with her stopwatch in paw, timing my ascent. It was painful to admit everything yesterday to her in the truck. Feelings that didn’t even know I had bubbled to the surface. Jealousy of Jack. Insecurity about myself. And the glue that bound all my problems together. Judy’s question to me at the end of it still echoed through my brain, like an insect buzzing in my ears. Do you want to be a cop?
I stopped at the halfway point on the tree. A fall from this height would probably break more than just my spirit.
I had convinced myself I wanted to be a cop in the beginning. After separating myself from everyone with my busking career, it was obvious to me that the choice to join the academy was always something my heart was never in. Maybe it was to follow Jack. Maybe just to prove something to someone. Or to myself. But even I knew it was never the right reasons for taking the job. And thus, it was never fulfilling. My time in Bunnyburrow had only proved that to me.
And along came Judy.
Suddenly, I wanted to try harder than I ever had before. For once, my life felt like it had a purpose. A direction. And that feeling only got stronger as time went on. But that wasn’t fair. Both to Judy and to my career. If I was just using one or the other for my own selfish reasons, surely I deserved neither. Last night was a wake up call to just what I was doing, exactly.
Cue my subconscious, speaking in Jack’s voice.
So, what are you saying, Nick? Do you like Judy?
Of course I do, dummy. She’s a great friend and fun to be around.
No...Do you *like* Judy?
Really, it was a simple question. On the same level of did I want to be a cop. But, for the life of me, I couldn’t give myself a fair answer to either. Because, deep down, I knew the truth.
I wanted both. Or liked both. Or whatever you wanted to call it.
I wouldn’t have been losing sleep last night if I didn’t feel something for Judy. I wouldn’t seriously be considering giving up on the games if it meant staying in Bunnyburrow with her and a job I hated. Even if there was no physical attraction, she made me happy to be around. And that was more powerful than anything I had felt with Angel.
Fine , I sighed to myself. I like her, okay?
Then tell her.
No, you idiot.
Why not?
You know why, I grunted. She’s eighteen.
She’s more than proved she’s mature enough and you know it.
Well, she’s also a rabbit.
That doesn’t stop Angus and Travis from having their relationship. Why would yours be so different?
She’s the mayor’s daughter.
And you’re already going behind his back with all this time together anyway.
Besides all that, it’s a bad idea to begin with, I growled. The only reason I’m spending so much time with her is so I can leave Bunnyburrow. You know? The place she lives in?
I fail to see your point.
If I impressed the ZPD scout, I continued. If I got a job in Zootopia, that means going home. Away from Judy. You really want me to have feelings, now of all times, only for it to completely fall apart in a couple of weeks? I couldn’t do that to her…
I’m telling you, you’re making the wrong choice.
Well, the last time I listened to you, I got burned in the end. You’re not exactly ahead in the count, bud. It’ll be better for everyone if I just focused on the games. On my career.
Uh huh.
Judy can take care of herself, I snarled. I know she’ll be amazing on her own. And this thing with the band will get her started. But I can’t just give up everything to stay with her. That would be irresponsible of me.
Right.
My other self was a complete jerk sometimes.
Think about what I’d be leaving behind, I snapped back. Think of Jack. Think of mom. I can’t give all that up on a whim.
No, you can’t. But there is a better way.
And what’s that?
I think you know what it is. You just need to ask her the right question.
To me, there was only one clear solution to the mess of emotions I was in. I had to double down on the tournament. I had to get home and abandon these thoughts and feelings I was having, before either of us got hurt again. I realized two things while pinned to the tree, swaying in the breeze.
One, I was going to do whatever it took so that I could become a cop in precinct one. Even suffer at the paws of Friedkin again, if I had to.
And two...I had no desire to be hanging for dear life, twenty feet up a tree.
With a heavy sigh, I started my climb back down to earth.
“You’re a gigantic wuss, you know that?” Judy asked me as I laid with my back on the ground.
Climbing down was a lot harder than climbing up was. The fear of falling, plus the careful steps made the journey take twice as long. By the end of it, my muscles had turned to jelly and I was content to pass out on the forest floor. It was the insomnia, I think. I could almost fall asleep were it not for Judy’s shrill voice in my ears ruining the quiet.
Judy loomed over me, arms crossed and scowling at me like my old teacher from kindergarten when she had discovered I was eating paste in the corner of the classroom. As I had back then, I could only give a stupid smile in response.
That only got her angrier.
“You big chicken. You could have made it if you tried.”
“There wasn’t a need to get to the top,” I said with a yawn. “I figured out what I needed to figure out. I don’t need to do anything else to prove myself.”
“That’s what this was about?”
“In a word,” I shrugged, feeling content with my retort and leaning back to rest more.
Judy blinked at me a few times, before huffing a laugh and leaning against the tree. “You’re something else.”
“And you’re starting to sound more like Jack every day.”
“Should I be insulted?”
“I think Jack would be the one more insulted, actually.”
The two of them were more alike than they could realize, even if they looked like night and day. I couldn’t help but wonder if Judy sensed that similarity. And if that was why she and I had become such fast friends. I closed my eyes.
“What?” Judy asked. “Are you gonna nap now? Don’t you have to get to work?”
“We have a few minutes. Just need to rest my eyes. Wake me if I fall asleep.”
“And what if I just walked away when you passed out?”
“You won’t. I trust you.”
That quieted her and she continued to stand by like my silent protector while I dozed.
It was a beautiful summer morning, with the dew in the grass beginning to evaporate from the warm sun. We had been blessed with good weather in the late season, and nearly every week had sunny days with few clouds in the sky. And with the coming cooler weather, the temperature was nearing perfect. Not too hot, not too cold. Not too humid. Best of all, the good company at my side.
There was no one else I'd rather share it all with. Or be with. But the days like this weren’t going to last forever. Moments like these were the last we’d ever spend with each other with the choice I had made. You know the question you want to ask her.
“If I had to move to the city, would you come with me?”
My mouth had done the thing again where it was speaking without permission from my brain. And my eyes shot open upon realizing what I had just uttered.
Judy froze and looked down at me, on the ground spread out in a pathetic manner like a dried up starfish on the beach. She blinked several times before giving the only sensible response to my question.
“What?”
I gulped.
Too late to back out now. It was out there. A stupid request that she had no reason to accept, and something way too unreasonable to demand of anyone. Especially if it was from a dumb fox from the city.
Judy’s whole life was in the burrow. And now, with the band, she had even more of a reason to stay. Even if she had been looking for a way out with her ex-boyfriend, why would she accept my offer? I knew she had always wanted to escape the burrows at some point. But to leave with a fox? With me? I couldn’t backtrack though. The best I could hope for was to gird my loins and state my dumb question more clearly for her to understand its intention.
“If I had to move. To Zootopia. To live. Would you want to come with me?”
Even without looking at her, I could tell that the question had caught her completely off guard by how she was breathing. She was measuring every word, like it was a riddle with a hidden meaning to it. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any clever answers to give her.
“What?” she repeated again. “Like...You mean to move in with you?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted, having not given my makeshift idea any detailed thought. “Just...Living in the city. In general. You know?”
Despite what she would say, Judy had prospects in the city.
I could think of a few honest places of work that would give a job to a young rabbit, even if she had a police record to her. She could make it on her own. That much I knew about her from the summer spent together. With her determination and focus, folks would offer her work. And with her guitar skills, she could easily do some busking on the side if all else failed. Mom could probably even put in a good word for her in the diner she worked at.
But in the end, Judy was right. Living together would be the safest of all her options. Assuming she’d even entertain the idea, that was. She swallowed my words for a moment, trying to determine if they were a poison or medicine. I honestly wished I could tell her the difference.
Judy opened and closed her mouth a few times. “I don’t...I mean…”
She pulled at her ear with the most earrings before continuing to stammer.
“...You can’t just ask me that out of the blue. Like...What am I even supposed to say?”
I shrugged again at her perfectly appropriate reaction. “It was just a thought.”
If there was a time and a place to leave, it was right then. I rose from the grass, trying to pass off the cool guy look by stretching nonchalantly. I couldn’t tell if Judy was buying it or not, with me keeping my back to her and starting down the road.
She lingered for a moment before limping to catch up to me.
“...It’s not like I hate the idea. But—”
“It’s just scary,” I finished for her, waving her off. “It’s fine, Carrots. Trust me. I’ve been there. Moving to a new place when you have no idea what’s in store for you is absolutely terrifying. It was just a silly little thought. Nothing more.”
She kept quiet and behind me as we walked the road towards Bunnyburrow. The sun was starting to peak over the treelines.
“...What if I said yes?” she asked.
I paused in our walk.
“I’d imagine your father wouldn’t be pleased,” I answered truthfully, envisioning the chain of events that would unfold in the imaginary scenario. “You’d have to find a job, for one, to support yourself. A place to live, if you weren’t staying with me. A way to move your things. As well as a need for some new stuff, like a cellphone for communication. Then there’s your band to worry about now. It’s a big hassle to get all these things in order.”
Even I realized that I was trying to convince Judy it was a terrible idea. Yet, somehow, it was having the opposite effect on her by her indignant huff.
“I could care less about what dad thinks. I don’t have much but my laptop and Josie. And I can busk until I find something to do there. The band thing sucks, but I can start my own once I get there. And…”
She paused and looked down at the ground for a moment.
“...And it’d help if I crashed with you. At least until I got situated enough.”
My mouth was a desert as I shot Judy a worried glance.
“You’re seriously considering this?”
She continued to avert her eyes from me while she spoke and shrugged. “I’ve always wanted to get out of the burrows. And this is as good an opportunity as any. It’s not ideal. But nothing ever is. I’m not saying I want to leave today, but...But…”
She clenched her paws and her listless gaze hardened into a determined purple stare into my eyes.
“But if you got a job at the ZPD, I’d follow you. If you wanted me to.”
It was a good thing I kept my paws to my back, hiding them away from Judy as I fiddled endlessly with them. How did I even begin to respond to that? Judy was willing to change her whole life to be around me, abandoning everything she had ever known. Was that just her reckless adolescent nature? And why did that make my heart heavy?
A smile and a short laugh. That’s all I could give her while I processed this new information. For now.
“We’re getting ahead of ourselves,” I said. “I still have to get the job first.”
“No worries there,” she smirked back at me. “You got this.”
For the first time, I fully believed that.
Notes:
Setting up a few things in this chapter that I hope pay off down the line, especially as Nick questions more and more what he wants to do with his life. If you're interested in reading more of his musings, as well as meeting Gideon's family, then feel free to check out the new bonus track (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24325792/chapters/64007743)!
Chapter 28: Track 28: “But Tonight We Dance”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
We didn’t discuss moving to Zootopia together all week. There were more important things to focus on. Like band practice. And exercise.
Since climbing trees, I doubled down on my routine, or at least as much as I could have given the circumstances. It was hard to push yourself more than I already was, but I kept it going. Another ten minutes running. Another set of push ups. Another rep in lifting weights. Boring stuff, but I had the motivation to be prepared for whatever Friedkin was going to throw at me during the Labor Day party. That was our mornings.
Our nights, after work, were devoted entirely to getting Judy to Catspaw. That was a challenge every time, especially with finding a vehicle to drive us there. Most of the time, Gideon’s uncle’s truck was available. But on the occasion it wasn’t, we had to get creative by borrowing the cruiser when Hank wasn’t around. I still had the legitimate excuse that I was being involved with entertainment for the Labor Day party. And Hank owed me for all the running around I was doing at work to manage his part of the food gathering for the party. I still never brought it up to him the exact details.
Saturday was one of those nights we had to borrow the cruiser. It was also when we had plans for another guest visiting band practice in the form of a certain pig officer.
“ She’s going to be there?” Judy asked as we neared the old airfield.
“Don’t get excited. Humphrey’s just coming to handle the payment for your band. She’s not there to make a scene.”
Judy crossed her arms. “She better not. I don’t want to play in front of an audience yet. And I’m not getting paid, remember?”
I had almost forgotten that Judy was doing the gig pro-bono. Part of me wanted to make a fuss about that to Travis, especially since Judy was clearly earning her keep. In the beginning, she had been trying her hardest to keep up with them. After a week of familiarity, it was the other way around. Funny how a few days of practice together really brought the trio in sync. Not to say that they were perfect yet, but they were certainly good. For a party with older mammals, anyway. Not ready for the big leagues, but it was a great start.
To that end, I could see Judy moving onto bigger things after the gig. I didn’t want to say it out loud, but they were lucky to have her. And even Travis was slowly starting to sense that too.
“I don’t count as an audience, Carrots?”
“You’re different,” she said, looking out the window. “You’ve been there since the beginning. Humphrey is...I dunno. Music just feels too personal to share with her. And I’m already irritated enough with not having any smokes recently.”
“Well, she’s your patron now. Not saying you have to like her, but she’s technically your boss. Just try to put on a smile around her, okay? Just for a little while.”
I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see Judy putting one of those forced smiles, showing every single one of her teeth. If she was a predator, it might have been a terrifying leer. But being a rabbit, I almost lost control of the vehicle from holding in a laugh.
“Come on, I’m driving here!”
We skidded along into the swamps of Catspaw.
The summer evenings were getting darker faster and soon the band wouldn’t be playing under any light save for the ancient fluorescent lamps in the hangar. The crickets were singing in time to the music when we arrived, with Travis and Angus having already set up. It didn’t take long for Judy to join them.
Around 8 PM, Humphrey pulled in next to my cruiser with her own state police car. I imagined, to an outsider, seeing two police officers in the area might be cause for alarm. The old airfield came alive with flashing lights and sounds. Like an ancient machine, grinding and creaking back to life again. Thankfully, there was no one else around for miles, just a lighthouse in the swampy wilderness.
“Safe to say this is the right place,” Humphrey chimed as she approached me leaning on the hangar door. “I’m surprised no one’s reported these guys for noise violations.”
“Travis ran through that whole gamut with me already,” I assured her. “They have their bases covered, don’t worry. Besides, kids need a place to practice.”
She joined me at my side as we stood, arms crossed as a captive audience for the band. They were rehearsing an indie song, one that I couldn’t place the name to. Humphrey’s timing couldn’t have been better with Judy’s guitar solo coming up. I watched the pig officer put on an impressed smirk as Judy closed her eyes through the entire melody, letting her fingers do all the memory work.
Humphrey leaned in closer, allowing me to notice the envelope in her hooves.
“Well, I’ll be. She can actually play.”
“Course she can,” I said, doing my best to not sound offended. “I even showed you a video of them.”
“Seeing it on the intertube and seeing it in real life are two very different things, Wilde.”
“...You mean the internet?”
She shooed me away. “You young people and your new things. Still, I’m sufficiently impressed. These guys are perfect for the party. We’ll just need to get them set up and we’ll be in business. Who do I talk to about payment? The one who called me and hung up?”
“The ferret,” I pointed out Travis in the trio. “Let them finish up first.”
We weren’t waiting long as they winded down.
Travis must have noticed their growing audience and approached us without even putting down his bass guitar. Judy came up next, with Josie still strapped to her shoulder. She kept behind Travis, trying not to be noticed by Humphrey but failing miserably. Humphrey was staring right at her, with that sweet-coy grin that could give someone a toothache. I could tell at a glance that Judy was uncomfortable with the attention.
“Officers,” Travis gave an uneasy wave, turning his attention to Humphrey. “I am, uh, safe to assume you’re here about the Labor Day gig?”
“Ease up, son,” Humphrey broke from Judy. “I don’t bite. That’s Wilde’s job.”
“Well, I have been working on my bad cop routine,” I added. “But if we can keep things serious for a moment, I’m sure these three would like to get back to practice.”
“Right, right, right. Let’s talk business.” Humphrey held up the envelope in her hoof and placed it in Travis’ paws. “Six hundred dollars. A good amount for a three-way split.”
Humphrey pulled the flimsy slip of paper away before Travis could get a grip on it.
“However, I did want to discuss plans first,” she continued, wagging the cash around like she was fishing with the money as bait. “The party is almost in a week. I need to know what to expect. Do you need any special equipment? Mics? Speakers?”
Travis glanced to Angus approaching from the side and then to Humphrey. “We, uh, have most of what we need, including microphones. We’ll require a few extension cords. And a visual idea of the stage for setup.”
“It’ll be on the northern Hopps fields. Officer Wilde tells me you’re familiar with the place.”
Travis nodded. “As, uh, as long as you have a generator or a long enough powerline, we’ll have everything we need to get situated.”
“Guitar, bass, and drums,” Humphrey counted through their lineup. “You mentioned you had mics. Do you plan on singing too?”
I noticed Judy shift around in the back of the group.
Travis hadn’t even brought up the topic of who would be on the mic while they practiced, even in the past week. Judy figured it would be rude to assume, but she seemed the obvious candidate. Especially if Gideon had talked her up like he said he did.
“Yeah,” said Travis. “I’ll be handling the vocals and bass.”
Judy’s ears twitched and I could tell she was resisting hard to keep them from drooping. She had better self control than I did.
“I haven’t seen you practice singing at all, Travis,” I commented, hiding none of the concern in my voice. “Are you sure you’re up to the task?”
“I’ve always done the singing, Officer Wilde. Is there some sort of problem?”
He caught my shared look between Judy. I couldn’t make a fuss about it without coming across as the antagonist. I wasn’t the patron and I had no say in the band. I was the go-between. The middle mammal. Nothing more. To push would probably only get Judy in trouble and it didn’t look like she was willing to fight over this. Instead, she held Josie close as she absentmindedly strummed at the disconnected strings.
“...No,” I replied. “Just concerned you might not be up to the task come party time.”
“We wanted to spend the first week getting Judy accustomed to playing with us. And I get nervous when singing in front of new mammals.”
I wanted to ask how he expected to fare during the Labor Day gig if he had stage fright, but I held my tongue. It was their band and their rules. We just had to dance along to whatever tune they were playing.
Smile and nod. I was eating my own advice.
“Well,” Humphrey clapped her hooves together. “It sounds like you’re all prepared then. The party starts at 10 AM next Sunday. You should probably get there around eight or so to start getting set up. I can send a car around to pick you up from here in the morning…”
I tuned Humphrey’s voice out as I broke from glaring at Travis to watch Judy out of the corner of my eye.
She was putting up a brave face, keeping with a disquiet neutrality that almost matched Angus, who was at her side. I caught her little glances down to the ground whenever there was no attention on her. They were subtle changes in her behavior that I might not have noticed a month ago. Small signs. But I’d have to be blind to miss them.
“...I won’t keep you kids any longer,” Humphrey finished, finally giving the payment to Travis. “I can’t wait to see you guys on Sunday. Break a leg! The kids still say that these days, right?”
I realized she was talking to me. I shrugged in response and tried my best to smile.
“See you at the party too, Wilde. Hope you’re ready. Ursula told me she has something special planned for the games.”
It was hard to keep the fake smirk going after hearing that.
As Humphrey returned to her vehicle, Travis trimmed open the envelope with his claws and pulled out the cash. He counted it up. Six hundred dollars, all in hundred dollar bills. But my focus was still more on Judy. She kept to the side while Travis and Angus whispered amongst each other under the light from the hangar. With her black clothes, Judy was consumed by the coming darkness over the swamps. The night had come without me even noticing it.
Travis broke Judy from her stupor, approaching her with a wad of cash.
“Here,” he said, holding two bills to her.
Judy blinked a few times. “What’s this?”
“Your share. A third of the cut.”
Judy had all the processing power of a computer from the late seventies as she gazed at the cash in her face. “...But I said I was doing this for free. I just wanted to play with you guys.”
“Yeah,” Travis rubbed the back of his head with his free paw and tried not to keep eye contact with her. “But...You’re a good guitarist. And a part of this band now. And it...It wouldn’t be right if you weren’t treated like it.”
Judy continued to stare blankly at the two hundred dollars in front of her. Almost like she didn’t believe they were real. Like Travis had switched them out for those cheapo board game Mammalopoly bills. Travis groaned in impatience.
“Look, this was mostly Angus’ idea. If you really don’t want pay, I’ll take it back. I still don’t like you, but...I’m trying. Okay?”
Even Judy knew that to refuse the offer would be like burning an olive branch. She grabbed her pay while muttering her thanks and stuffing the bills into her back pocket. Travis fiddled with the bass guitar still strapped around his shoulders.
“Let’s, uh, let’s just get back to practice. There’s still some things to prepare before the party.”
“Well, that was nice of them,” I said later that night when we were both back in the cruiser.
“Yeah…”
Judy was holding the two bills out in front of her. She was staring intently at them, like if she blinked they might disappear like sand between her fingertips. I chuckled at the sight.
“Your first paycheck...How does it feel to have a real paying job, Carrots?”
She hesitated before speaking. “Odd. I mean...This is more money than I’ve ever held before in my life. Is this normal pay for busking? Or playing music in general?”
“If the gig is big enough,” I said, remembering the time someone had tipped me a twenty on the streets and I practically danced for joy. “This is a special case though. You’re doing a show, meaning you’ll be working for hours straight. Really, two hundred dollars isn’t a lot of money. Were it me, I’d be responsible and save it.”
Judy stuck out her tongue. “Forget that. I’m going down to the gas station and buying some cigarettes.”
My mood instantly went south. “I thought you quit.”
“That was when I thought I would be singing for the band. Since Travis said he’d be doing it, is there a point not to smoke?”
“Health reasons? Fresher breath? No yellow teeth? Life without lung cancer?”
“Now you’re sounding like my mom. You’re not going to start telling me what to do, are you?”
We both knew I would have better luck pulling the teeth from a tiger, and that would be the less dangerous of the two options.
“Never. But it bothers you though. That they don’t want you singing.”
“What?” Judy asked, with her tone drifting dangerously. “Are you trying to talk me out of smoking?”
“No, I just want to understand.”
“What’s to understand? I quit because you told me it’d kill my voice. And now they said they don’t want me to sing. So, looking at it logically, I can get back into the habit. Big whoop. Game over. Was fun while it lasted.”
“And you don’t think it’s worth continuing going straight edge? Even for the health benefits? Or just in case they change their minds?”
“Like that’ll happen…”
“Stranger things, Carrots.”
We let the cadence of the drive play as we both kept quiet and stared off into the road. We were barely out of Catspaw on our journey home, with the practice having gone late and the time being almost midnight. Judy was fanning herself with her hundreds, brooding with heavy sighs.
“Just...Just shut up and take us to the gas station.”
The usual haunt for Judy getting her fix of cigarettes was long closed, with only the midnight trains coming through the station every few hours until morning. That left only the gas station with Lyle burning the midnight oil. I waited for Judy from the cruiser, taking the opportunity to fill up the gas tank to a level that wouldn’t leave Hank suspicious in the morning if he checked the car. Minor precautions never hurt, after all.
Judy returned with an even bigger wad of cash in change, a bottle of carrot juice and a packet of her favorite brand of smokes. The kind with the camel on it whose name I never remembered. She chugged about half her drink before letting out a heavy sigh and picking open her box of smokes.
I passed the time by talking.
“Mom used to cheat when I got older,” I began. “She’d try to hide it, keeping the cigarettes in her dresser where I wouldn’t go looking for them. But I discovered them once while I was snooping around the apartment on a boring summer day. I couldn’t have been more than five years old. She found me on her bed with one of the sticks in my mouth, stupidly smiling because I didn’t know what I was doing. She didn’t yell at me though. Just snatched them away and threw them out. Never seen a cigarette in our home since.”
“If you’re trying to convince me to not smoke, it’s not going to work.”
“Me? Nope. Smoke up, Johnny.”
Judy clicked her tongue as she stuck the butt into her mouth. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“That thing you’re doing, with the dumb movie quotes. It’s annoying.”
“Not a fan of the Breakfast Cubs?”
“No,” she replied, fiddling around in her pocket for her lighter. “It hits a little too close to home.”
“Fair enough, John Hugehorn movies are more about sheltered rich kids anyway. It’s just we’ve seen a lot of flicks together, but I still don’t know what your favorite is.”
“Nor do I know yours,” she grunted as she found her lighter.
“Oh, that’s an easy one. Ze7en, paws down. You know. What’s in the box? What’s in the box? ”
Judy rolled her eyes as she attempted to light up the cigarette in her mouth. The continued sparks suggested something was wrong.
“Stupid piece of...Don’t tell me it’s out of gas.”
“Need to go buy another one?”
She blew steam out through her clenched teeth. “No. It’s. Fine. I have more at home. It’d just be a waste of money.”
“I really don’t mind, Carrots, if you — ”
“I said it’s fine,” she lashed out almost in a snarl.
I nodded and backed off. I was starting to push her too much and needed to respect her choices.
We kept quiet as I peeled the cruiser out onto the street. The police station was just down the road, and I would park the car to let Judy walk home. I’d even walk with her if she wanted. But she preferred going off on her own, even if her being alone in the night had me nervous for her. She chewed me out once for following her one night. I suppose in a town where everyone is afraid of you, you don’t have much to worry about being approached in the dark. Though I’d still follow her home and kept my distance downwind every time. One good thing about being a natural predator to rabbits. My sneaking had improved since I met her.
Judy chewed on her unlit cigarette as I pulled into the station parking lot. She stared down at the carton as I shifted gears into park.
“It does bother me, alright?”
She spoke so suddenly that my heart had jumped.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“The singing,” she grunted. “And the looks they give me. Everyone and everything about it. It all bothers me. It makes me angry. And...”
She held up the box of cigarettes and shouted at me.
“And this lets me cope with it, okay? I need this to dull the edge of it. It’s a crutch. I know it is. And it sucks. It freaking sucks .”
She tossed the carton against the windshield. Cigarettes went flying to all corners of the dashboard, some even rolling under the seat.
Judy breathed heavily, with the gnawed stick still in her mouth. She glared at me, but her rage-filled expression melted when her eyes met mine.
“And it’s all because I’m a burden,” she muttered. “I know that. People look at me and see a loser. And the cigarettes fit the image. But they help keep me numb, and so I need more. But then that just causes everyone to judge me more. And it just keeps going and going. It’s a bad habit and I don’t need you to tell me how it’s going to end. Because, believe me, I know. I know.”
Judy sighed and slouched into her seat. I let her take a few breaths, not daring to interrupt her while she was raging. She covered her face with her paw.
“You wanted to know what my favorite movie was?” she asked me, sounding none-too-pleased to admit it. “There’s only one I can think of. It’s a Wonderful Life. I saw it as a kid and cried like a baby, especially at the end. Even now, I still get teary eyed and it’s so stupid .”
“Carrots, it’s not stupid…”
“You keep saying that, but it is. It’s a dumb, stupid movie with a sappy ending that could never, ever happen. You know how much I would love to think that we could all just sing a little song and make everything perfect for ourselves? How I would love for everyone in town to band together and care about someone who thinks they’re trash? But that’s never going to happen in a place like the burrows. Just like I’m never going to get my leg back. I hate it here. I’m so sick of this place. And then you offered a way out and I…”
Her voice cracked and she covered her mouth, like she couldn’t believe the words she had just said.
We sat there for a long time, staring out into the darkness and letting Judy’s words echo around the car. The night had taken a heady turn in a hurry. But, in some ways, that felt like an inevitable collision of events.
Both of us had things that needed to be said, after all.
Judy gulped before continuing. “...Were you being serious earlier? We haven’t talked about it for days. So...I thought we were going to forget about it. Like it didn’t happen. But...Do you...Want me to come with you to the city?”
My heart skipped a beat. I think a small part of me hoped that she had forgotten about the plan I had offered. A cowardly part. But the most important parts were still absolutely certain and true.
“I do,” I said with no hesitation.
“Okay,” she replied, blinking more than a few times with each breath. “Okay. Then, what does that mean? For us?”
“For...Us?”
“I mean...You want me there, right?”
“Of...Course I do.”
“But why? Do you…?”
I waited on bated breath for the end of her sentence. But it wasn’t coming.
“Do I what?”
Judy closed her mouth in another quiet gulp before answering my question. “Am I more than just a friend to you?”
The world pulled away, like it did in a memory or an old TV show. Colors faded to black and white. Judy looked down at her legs. Her concerns came pouring out like a geyser.
“I’m just...I’m getting so many mixed signals here that I don’t know what to think anymore. You tell me no and I respect that. But then you say I should follow you to the city. And it’s like...What does that mean?”
“What did you want it to mean?” I asked.
“You know what I want it to mean,” she looked me straight in the eyes. “Cause I’m willing to try for it. Just like I’m willing to keep things going as is. But it’s one or the other. And when you do stuff like this...And with our flirting...It messes me up inside. I don’t know what I’m left with. I’m trying though. You know I am, right? Trying to care more. Trying not to be numb anymore. Trying to be better.”
There was pain in her voice, like she had run for miles and was out of breath.
“But I can’t pretend anymore,” she whispered. “If we go to the city together, everything is going to change. I said I would follow you if you wanted me to. And I meant it. But I don’t know if I can keep it up if we just go on acting like it means nothing. I was prepared to give this up when you left and just stay as friends with the distance. Now, I need to know. Before we decide anything else. I need to hear an answer from you.”
She went quiet for a moment. Air escaping her nose, though she was still sturdy and determined.
“If I go with you, does that mean what I think it does? Do you see me like I see you? Or am I...Am I being stupid again?”
Her voice caught on the last words like the skip of a record player. She shifted in her seat and turned away, unable to face the answer to her question. But I knew where we were. We were back in the ravine again.
I had been given more time since then. But I hadn’t been giving the subject fair thought. I kept pushing it away, trying to ignore it. It was safer to pretend nothing existed and enjoy the summer that was fast approaching its end. She was right. And I was being a jerk for doing that to her. I was a coward. Especially as I remained mute to her question.
Tell her how you feel, dummy.
But the words never came out. She felt my silent stares for a solid minute before reaching for the door.
I had delayed too long.
“Okay,” she whispered. “Okay. I get it.”
I didn’t stop her as she opened the car door. My brain was playing catch up and screaming at me to say something.
Or do anything.
“Wait,” I said as she closed the door. “Carrots…”
I stepped outside into the night, slamming my own door shut on the seatbelt and leaving the mess in the car as I chased after her. The ‘car door ajar’ alarm sounded behind me.
“Judy.”
She stopped in place, lightning traveling up her spine as her ears straightened, all tinted red with blush. Tense and focused. She was behaving like prey, ready to run at the first sign of a predator. But she turned to face me. And I had her full attention.
Her unlit cigarette had been tossed aside. Her wide, purple eyes were on me and her nose was twitching. Far from the bold performance just seconds ago in the car. She hadn’t even been frightened when we had gone to the cliff in the woods. But fear was the only word which described her. And she wasn’t alone, in that regard.
I stumbled over my own tongue. Only Judy could make the words fail me in my time of desperate need.
“I...Look...It’s complicated. I...I do…Okay?”
“You...Do?”
“I do. I really, really do. I do see you. And it’s more...More than anything I could think I wanted before. But…”
Silence.
“But…”
But I’m scared. So scared of screwing this up. So scared *something* will go wrong.
It was something I desperately wanted to get out there, but my mouth dried up and failed me. On one level, I just wanted to express how I felt. But deeper down, there was still the fear of what would happen if I opened up. Saying anything out loud about Judy would cause problems. Even with my fogged mind, I knew that much. A million things could go wrong opening myself wide like this. I could get hurt. Judy could get hurt. All logic warned me that there were odds against us.
But the voice of descent was slowly being pushed back as I stared at Judy’s concerned face. And then her lips.
I let out a frustrated sigh and put my mouth to actual use.
Let me be frank. The only thing I know about kissing is from the movies I’ve watched. I had no practice and I was probably terrible at it. But at that moment, I didn’t care. It was a short stride to where Judy was standing and she wasn’t expecting me to come so close by how she sharply breathed. Being much shorter than me, I had to lean over to reach her face, making the whole scene that much more awkward. I suppose I did alright for my first time. I couldn’t tell. It was over too quick to process anything.
Judy was standing there dumbstruck when I broke away from her. Blinking and not breathing. Someone had to say something.
This was the point in the movie where it would fade to black into the next scene. They never told you what to do in the aftermath of the first kiss. The strained silence that would follow as the two actors stared at each other, trying to figure out what to do next.
“I, uh,” I tried to come up with a joke to offset the mood but found nothing clever to say. “Yeah.”
Judy finally moved, touching at her lips. At first I was afraid I had bitten her with my fangs and drew blood. Then she reached for my tie. And pulled me close.
Everything broke like a dam. All at once.
The second kiss I remember more vividly. If only because I wasn’t expecting it. Bunny teeth were sharper than they looked, and she nipped at me while I craned my neck. Judy moved with more experience than I did. Paws traveling over my shoulders and ushering me in closer to her warm body. I expected her to taste like cigarettes. But after over a week of quitting, she had a flavor of lavender to her breath. I found my own paws start to claw around her back.
We fell into it like a fever. And there was a no more wonderful daydream, standing there together in the parking lot of the police station. The stars were the only witnesses. And I could hear the sound of our combined heartbeats playing like a symphony. It was liberating. It was freeing. Like a cold shower waking you from a sleep you didn’t know you were in.
Then we broke away. Both out of breath and panting. Both wanting more.
“Your place?” Judy asked, with a hungry look in her eyes.
“Yeah,” I whispered back.
Notes:
Things are about to get steamy...
There is a bonus track if you want to follow Nick and Judy's little misadventure in getting know each other better over here (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24325792/chapters/64337920), if not we'll pick up the morning after next week. Thanks for reading and here's hoping we hit 500 kudos this week!
Edit: Wow, thank you so much, guys! We did it! 500 kudos is a feat I didn't even dream of when posting this story but I'm glad all of you liked it so much to offer me that honor. I can only hope that the next 12 chapters are worth that praise as we gear up for the end game.
Chapter 29: Track 29: “The Good Left Undone”
Notes:
I apologize in advance.
Chapter Text
I woke up to the sound of bedsheets shuffling in my room. My eyes adjusted to the darkness with perfect clarity and I saw the numbers on my phone off to the nightstand.
3:58 AM
The text was glaring at me with my heightened vision and pounding head. Violent enough that I almost didn’t notice the rabbit getting dressed at the side of my bed.
Judy had slipped into her jeans and was putting on her shirt when she turned around to notice me. She could probably only see my green eyes in the dark, with a bunny’s vision being not nearly equipped for nocturnal activities as mine. I wanted to say something witty to her about sneaking out following a night together, but my mouth was too dry to speak.
Judy put a finger to her lips. “It’s okay. I’m fine. I just need to get home before we get in trouble.”
Trouble? Why would we be in trouble?
My half-asleep brain played back everything that had happened in the night. And what that meant.
Oh.
There was an uneasy feeling in my gut and an unfamiliar ache in my legs as I realized the consequences of what we had just done. That’s when I noticed the smells of my bedroom. It was something distinct and sharp. Territorial even.
“I need to shower when I get home,” Judy whispered. “And be back before someone notices I’ve been gone all night.”
I nodded in response, unable to speak and forgetting that she couldn’t see me in the dark. But she seemed to understand my feelings by how she broke from changing her clothes to place her paw on my cheek.
“We’ll talk about this tonight,” she said, with a calming voice. “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? We just need to be careful and keep up appearances. I need to play it low key for now, so I won’t come by in the morning. But I think you got enough exercise already to skip today…”
I smirked as Judy pressed her nose against mine. She thought her own smile was hidden in the dark, though I could see it clear as day with my eyes.
“See you tonight.”
[Pics or it didn’t happen.]
I groaned as I replied to Jack. [You’re disgusting. You know that?]
[Hey, can’t blame me. Rabbit and fox is one of those bizarre combinations. Like wolf and sheep. Or lion and antelope.]
I stuck my tongue out in disgust, leaning back onto the wall while waiting for my laundry to finish drying. My uniform needed a thorough cleaning following the previous night’s escapades. And my room still needed a touch up with the windows left open to air the place out, though I had showered enough to get Judy’s scent off me. I expected she would be doing the same while avoiding her family all day.
Of course, I had to tell Jack everything. He was my soundboard while I tried to figure things out on my own. And to keep my head from spinning.
[That was your first time, right?] He asked me.
[Yeah…]
[How was it?]
I was suddenly glad I was the only one in the laundromat in the early hours of the morning. Jack’s blunt commentary caused me to blush in the ears and facepalm as I sorted out through my mess of memories following my midnight misadventure. It was difficult to phrase the experience as tactfully as I could.
[Awkward. I mean, being together was amazing. But I had no idea what I was doing. And it’s weird to be naked in front of someone openly like that. Like it’s completely normal or something. Pretty sure I messed up a few times too. She helped me understand though and guided me along. But she hadn’t been with a fox before. And there were...Obstacles to overcome given our differences.]
[So, she’s done this before?]
[I mean...I guess? I’ve never asked and it doesn’t seem appropriate to pry.]
[Just painting an image. You didn’t enjoy it?]
[It was fine...I just still don’t see what the big screaming deal is about it.]
[Fair enough. Maybe the urges are a rabbit thing then.]
[I’m starting to get really uncomfortable discussing this with you, Jack. Knock it off.]
I could practically hear Jack grinding his teeth on the other end with impatience.
He had been watching too many sitcoms, where the characters discussed every little detail of their flings, much to the benefit of the audience. Regardless, my personal matters were not to be entertainment for curious onlookers.
[Alright, alright. It’s dropped. But what did you mean by you wanted to discuss the nitty gritty if you don’t want to talk about this?]
[I dunno. Relationship stuff?]
[Relationship? It’s official between you two then?]
[Well...I mean we kissed and...Stuff.]
[Nick, rabbits work a lot differently when it comes to this stuff. Sex is more...Casual than it is for other mammals. You sure it wasn’t just a one night stand? Or just friends with benefits?]
The thought had crossed my mind more than once.
Our fit of passion had come from out of nowhere, though it had been building for quite some time. Judy had been the one to feel something between us first, with her earlier confessions. But who could say what that meant in terms of a relationship? I sure couldn’t. I lacked the experience to be sure about anything. Everything was strange and foreign to me in the quiet moment now that the storm had passed. That was part of the reason why I had consulted Jack.
I rubbed at my cheek, recalling the words Judy had whispered to me early in the morning. Or had that been a dream? It was getting hard to remember everything with enough reliable detail. There was one thing she said that stuck out in my mind.
[She mentioned we’d talk about it tonight. She said I did nothing wrong.]
[Then what are you worried about? Sounds like it’s pretty under control to me.]
[I’m worried what that would mean,] I admitted. [Both personally and professionally.]
[You mean with the mayor?]
[That’s the biggest concern, yes.]
We covered our bases well enough with Judy’s mother, and I made sure to keep in touch with Bonnie during every practice to let her know that Judy was fine. In return, she made sure not to breathe a word to the mayor. Judy was always ‘hanging out with friends,’ which was technically true. For over a month, we were able to get on like that under the assumption that Judy was simply seeing me to improve her craft. If it went beyond that…
[I could honestly see myself losing my job over this,] I replied with more indifference than I would have expected from that kind of comment. [The mayor made it quite clear that I am not to approach his family by any means. And you don’t get much closer than this.]
[Even if she’s the one who approached you?]
[Don’t think he’d be in the mood to argue over technicalities. He should be told about this though. Then...I don’t know what will happen.]
[Well, you just have to hold out until you impress the ZPD scout at the Labor Day party then, right?]
I rolled my eyes. [If I can impress the scout, you mean.]
[I have a good feeling about it. Trust me. No stupid polar bear is going to keep you down, Nick. You can do this.]
All that built up confidence from Judy never failed to slip away whenever someone mentioned Friedkin. I told myself that Judy probably wouldn’t appreciate it if I got moody about it and shook my head.
[Well, we’ll see. It’s a week away. And the stress of telling the mayor about us isn’t helping me relax, exactly.]
[Sounds like you’ll be fine. From what you’re describing, you’re not the first buck — or tod, rather — That she’s brought into the bedsheets.]
[Not exactly inspiring my confidence with that.]
[Just trust her. You’ve covered your bases, right?]
I thought back to filling up the gas in the cruiser every time we used it. Or the excuse Bonnie would use to cover for us. Travis, Angus, and Humphrey wouldn’t rat us out either. There didn’t seem to be anything amiss. At least, that came to my frazzled mind.
[I can’t think of anything, yeah,] I replied.
[Then you have nothing to worry about. Just keep your head low, wait until tonight, and this will all blow over. And congrats, man. You finally got over your thing with women.]
[Woo…]
[Tell me how it goes after you have your talk with her. All the juicy details!]
I rolled my eyes. At least the conversation had made me a little more confident in how I was going to handle this. Jack was right, ultimately. The ball was in Judy’s court and all I had to do was keep out of trouble. Easy as pie.
[Actually,] Jack said as the drier dinged with my clothes done. [I just remembered, I might be out of contact for the next few days. So, don’t mind me if I don’t respond.]
I frowned as I collected my clothes with my paw and texted Jack with the other. [Working on a big case?]
There was a long pause. Long enough for me to put everything away in my basket.
[Yeah. Can’t spare the details. Private matter and all that. You’ll hear about it soon enough though. I promise.]
There was some intrigue there, but I wasn’t in the mood to pursue the matter. Jack was already starting to grate me and if I pried him for details then he might turn around and do the same with me. He’d probably fill me in once it was all over, regardless, and I wasn’t the impatient type.
[Fair enough.]
[Take care of yourself, Nick. Whatever happens, I got your back.]
[Thanks, Jack.]
My fingers lingered on the keys as I struggled to remember something. It clicked at the last second.
[And don’t tell mom about all this.]
[Why not? She’s going to be ecstatic to hear you’re finally back in the game.]
[I just don’t need to deal with that right now. And neither does Judy. Besides, having my mom congratulate me on sleeping with someone is just weird.]
[Not as weird as some of the tods I’ve seen her bring home…]
[Goodbye, Jack.]
I threw my phone deep into my pocket, despite the buzzing. I’d only take a look at his messages later when I had a bottle of mind bleach within reach. And I had better things to do in the day than deal with mental scarring. Like preparing for my evening with Judy.
This was going to be awkward, despite what Jack assured me. Hey, we just slept together. So...Where do we go from here?
I prided myself on my silver tongue, but being with Judy had a weird effect on me where I would go speechless and my mouth would dry up. It was tiresome. But I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of seeing her again. I must have looked pretty dopey with the grin on my face as I climbed the stairs from the basement. Straight into Hank knocking at my apartment door.
“Oh, uh, Nick,” said the deputy. “There you are.”
“Deputy,” I replied with a nod. “It’s my day off. What’s up? Something wrong at the station? My buzzer didn’t go off.”
“Oh...No. Nothing like that. I’m actually here to...Uh...Escort you.”
“Escort me?”
“Yeah...Uh...The mayor wanted to have a talk with you. About the Labor Day party, I think.”
I could feel my tail get bushy from behind my back.
“The party?” I asked, trying to sound unconcerned. “That’s Humphrey’s department. Why does he need to talk to me?”
“I, uh, dunno. I didn’t ask. It sounded urgent though.”
I breathed through my nose a few times to calm myself down.
It’s just a request, Nick. Don’t get worked up over it. But I could count the number of times the mayor wished to see me face to face on one paw. And it wasn’t like I could ignore a direct summons from him either. Maybe this really was about the Labor Day party. If that was the case then, it would be suspicious of me to refuse the request.
Like Judy said, just needed to keep up appearances.
“Alright, let me just put my laundry away.”
We took the cruiser to the town hall. I fiddled with my paws as I sat as patiently as I could in the clean seat of the car. Out of all the times I had driven Judy in the vehicle, it was odd to be the one in the passenger seat. It was safe to say Hank’s driving hadn’t improved in the time since the Founder’s Day party either. He narrowly avoided nailing the lamppost as we parked before the building and ushered me inside.
There were very few instances where I had actually gone into the lion’s den that was the mayor’s office. The town hall housed the location for most bigwigs in the burrow, with rooms dedicated to the mayor, the assistant mayor, the secretary for the mayors, and several boardrooms for meetings.
Half the mammals in the building I had never even met before, in part because I attempted to avoid the place as much as possible. Hank seemed more familiar with the inhabitants by how he chit-chatted with the sheep secretary briefly before excusing himself to run an errand and leaving me to wait by myself. I am convinced that lobbies and waiting rooms are only built for mammals to suffer from anxiety and impatience.
While ignoring the occasional glance from the young ewe, I kept to myself staring right at the oak door into Mayor Hopps’ personal office. There was a fake smile on my face, betraying my real emotions bubbling just beneath the surface. A big part of me wanted to spring up and run out of the building. But I ignored that instinct and counted the seconds until the sheep secretary approached me after hanging up the phone.
“Mister Wilde?” she asked. “The mayor will see you now.”
Two thousand three hundred and sixty one seconds.
Either the mayor really was busy or he just liked watching me suffer. I hoped for the former, as I rose from my seat to approach the wooden portal I had spent the last forty minutes staring at. I gave a firm knock.
“Come in.”
It was unfair for me to expect the mayor’s office to be anymore than something typical in design. Perhaps I was thinking it would be a pitch black cave with lava pouring from the skulls that adorned the wall, like an evil villain’s lair from a storybook. Instead, most of the decorations were moderate with a simple oak desk and a few farming awards on display in place of morbid trophies. But nothing my imagination could conjure up was worse than the forced smile on the mayor’s face when he laid eyes on me.
“Officer Wilde,” he didn’t even stir from his chair, keeping as still as a gargoyle. “Please, have a seat.”
To be honest, I much preferred to stand so I had less in my way if I had to flee the room. But I obeyed, shifting around in a chair built much too small for a fox. My tail continued to get in the way as I perpetually crossed and uncrossed my legs in the vain attempt to get comfortable.
“Sorry to call you in on your day off,” continued the mayor.
“It’s no trouble at all.”
“I trust you’re enjoying these late summer days? You don’t get many like these. Getting plenty of physical activity?”
I smiled enough to show my teeth. “I do what I can to keep fit.”
“I’m sure you do. You’ve been quite busy this past month, haven’t you? What with your dieting and exercise. Preparing for the games during the Labor Day party, are we?”
I briefly wondered how he would know about that before answering.
“Yes, sir. If you’re concerned about my representation of Bunnyburrow in the games, don’t be. I’m quite confident I can perform with the best of them.”
“Oh, I’m sure you can.”
The mayor reached into his desk drawer. He pulled out a white packet with a camel on them. I recognized it from all the times I had seen Judy smoke. Cigarettes.
“You smoke, Wilde?” he asked.
“No, sir. Never touch them.”
He shrugged and popped a stick in his mouth. He continued speaking as he attempted to light it.
“But you make a good point about representation, Wilde. Given Officer Slack will not be participating in the games, you’re the burrow’s golden boy. I’m sure you’re aware that the scout from the ZPD will be in attendance, keeping an eye out for potential recruits for the city. Catching their eye won’t be just good for you. It’ll leave a good impression on the burrows as a whole.”
He took a few puffs of his cigarette before acting like he just noticed me sitting in front of him.
“Where are my manners? Can I offer you a drink, Wilde? Water? Iced tea? Carrot juice?”
The mayor focused hard in his tone of voice on the last drink. I shook my head.
“I’m fine, sir.”
Again, he acted like I didn’t exist and puffed a few more mouthfuls of smoke. I coughed a little at the suffocating fumes. He dug around in his desk drawer again, pulling out a bottle of half-drunk carrot juice.
When he spoke again, I snapped to attention.
“I apologize that we haven’t gotten the chance to speak in depth about the party. The burrow has seen its own share of troubles that require my attention, so I’ve been content to let Humphrey handle most of the details. Despite our differences, I know I can trust her with that much. It reflects more poorly on her than it does the burrows if things go wrong, anyway. That doesn’t change my opinions on representation. How we appear to the outside world.”
When he finished speaking, the mayor removed his half-finished cigarette and stuffed it into the carrot juice bottle. The black ash polluted the bright orange liquid, swirling together in a tainted concoction. My tail was starting to brush up like it had static electricity running through it, building to a painful shock.
“I’m well aware that, compared to the city, the burrows can be considered...Outdated in our principles. We do our best with what we have, especially with budget and the grumblings from other more unfortunate mammals in the poorer districts. And as mayor, it’s my duty to keep it all balanced. And I adhere to one fundamental rule to bundle the colorful characters in our lovely town together…”
He leaned into his paws and glared down at me.
“Protect your own. Always.”
I gulped. “I understand, sir…”
“Then do you know why I called you here? The real reason?”
Before I could give him an answer, there was a knock on the door. The mayor stirred from his seat.
“Just on time,” he said. “Come in, Hank.”
A chill ran up my spine as I glanced behind me. It was Hank at the door. Leading in Judy.
She looked confused until she laid eyes on me. I imagined we had the same expression as the realization set in. Prey caught by a dangerous predator. Fear all in our eyes, wearing a neutral face. Ears up high for any sounds of sudden movement.
Judy spoke first. “...Dad?”
“Jude,” the mayor’s voice had none of the comfort she was used to hearing, judging by her wince. “Sit.”
He was using the special tone every parent had. The ‘you’re in trouble’ voice. I might have chuckled if I wasn’t also on the receiving end. And there was nothing funny about the situation we were in. It was slowly occurring to me that this encounter might very well end with me losing my job. And I had walked right into it like a trap.
The mayor’s face held none of the insincere politeness I had come to expect from him. He looked more like a fuse of dynamite, ready to blow at a moment’s notice. Nose scrunched and flared. Eyebrows sharp and focused. When the door slammed shut behind us, he spoke again.
“This morning,” he began. “Officer Slack discovered the cruiser in the station parking lot. It was at appropriate levels of gas. Parked where it normally was. But the front seat was completely covered in cigarettes. There was a half-drunk bottle of carrot juice in the cup holder. And an expensive electric guitar was found in the trunk. This is on top of the disturbing rumors I've been hearing all month around the burrow of a rabbit and a fox hanging around each other.”
It sounded like he was laying out everything at our feet. I could only pray that he didn’t also find out about Judy spending the night with me. But without talking with her, there was no way to be certain. Maybe she had gotten caught and the mayor was just trying to see me sweat.
Never let them see they get to you, Nick. And I had a reasonable excuse.
“Sir, as I’m sure you’ve figured out, all of those things, from the cigarettes to the guitar, don’t belong to me.”
“You’ve proven that much,” the mayor raised an eye at my honesty. “Then do you mind telling me, Officer Wilde, why you had my daughter with a guitar built for a rabbit in the cruiser last night?”
“Doing my part for the Labor Day party,” I answered. “Humphrey assigned me to handle entertainment. Through some digging, I found a rock band. But they were in need of a guitarist.”
“So, you enlisted my daughter without permission?”
“He didn’t demand anything from me, dad,” Judy spat with a sour speech I had not heard her use in some time. “I asked him to help me.”
“Jude, you don’t play guitar.”
“I do,” her anger was starting to overpower her fear. “Maybe you’d know that if you actually came home once in a while.”
The mayor was unfazed by Judy’s sharp tone. “That’s a discussion for another day. Just where did you learn to play guitar, young lady?”
“He taught me. Because I asked him to.”
“Is that true?” He asked me with a glint of fire in his eyes.
“Yes, sir.”
“Then you disobeyed me, Wilde. You involved yourself with my family and our affairs. And you went behind my back to do it.”
“Dad, you were the only one who didn’t know and it was because I knew you’d react like this.”
“And that makes it better?”
“Mom knew. And she got it. You don’t.”
“Jude, I’m only trying to do what’s best for you…”
Judy huffed and faced away from him. “Where have I heard that one before…”
“I wouldn’t even be taking this as seriously as I am if you had just bothered to tell me in the first place. Both of you went behind my back with this little deal you had with each other. If this had been a simple matter of you wanting to learn an instrument, you could have told me. Instead, I find you sneaking around after dark with a fox.”
“You would have said no,” Judy snapped back. “You hate foxes.”
Hearing it out loud was almost worse than working off a base assumption of the head rabbit’s bigotry. But by the mayor’s flared nostrils huffing out a gust of hot air, I could tell Judy’s words were the truth.
“That’s what this is really about,” Judy continued. “You think I’m going to get hurt again by hanging around a predator. That I’m too dumb to make my own decisions. Like I’m in need of your constant protection. I’m sick of you overreacting to every little thing that I do.”
“Jude, there are mammals in this town who would hurt you if I wasn’t the mayor.”
The mayor spoke with such a final and jutting tone that he silenced Judy. Her ears lowered as her father continued.
“Do either of you have any idea what I see everyday? Threats against rabbits. Threats against foxes. Ferrets. Wolves. Sheep. Constant petitions with neighbors angry at other neighbors. It never ends. It comes to the point where I almost think we should all live separately. It seems to be the only way to make people happy.”
He gave Judy a stern, but sad look.
“When you had that tuft with Gideon Grey, I was afraid I was going to lose you. You had already been through so much with the accident...To see other mammals calling for you to be arrested. To take you away from us. You’d think you had committed a hate crime.”
Judy looked down at her feet. “It had nothing to do with his species, dad…”
“I know it didn’t. But people still see it that way. Predators, especially. And those bad feelings don’t simply just disappear overnight. They bubble and fester. It’s like farming, I’ve found. You can’t grow different crops in the same soil. You need to keep different fields or the roots will strangle each other.”
I thought back to how Travis had first reacted to Judy a week ago. Even I knew that the mayor was telling the truth. He was just protecting his daughter, in his own bad way. He cast his strong, brown eyes on me.
“What makes him any different? That he’s an outsider from the city? What if he was related to Gideon Grey? Would he join in on their vendetta against you?”
“He wouldn’t,” she replied.
“Wouldn’t he? What do you really know of my daughter, Officer Wilde?”
I folded my arms and stared right at the rabbit, confident in my answer. “I’ve come to know a great deal about her, sir.”
“Elaborate. I seem to recall you trying to arrest her your first day here.”
“Sure,” I admitted. “Let’s not mince words. First impressions were bad. She hated me and I thought she was some spoiled punk from the burrows with enough angst to fuel a rocket ship powered by teenage hormones.”
Those days felt like an eternity ago. Or from another life entirely.
“But I got to know her. Both in the right and wrong ways. I came to respect her and how she pressed on, despite losing her dreams to become a police officer. I learned she tried until she hurt herself. That’s why you don’t like cops very much. Isn’t it, sir?”
The accusation caused the mayor to furrow his brow and I continued talking.
“After the night of the car crash in July, I introduced her to music during her time at the station. We bonded over song. And that’s when she approached me about learning guitar. She has a knack for it, you know? It’s not a natural talent or feel for the music. It’s in how she’s hardworking and pushes herself. I’ve seen her wear her nails down to the bone from playing for so long. No one can do the things she can. No one pushes themselves, or makes me want to do better, as much as your daughter does. I think she’s brilliant, talented, and kind, when she wants to be. I’m grateful to have met her. And glad to have been there to help her do this. She’ll be an amazing musician.”
“So,” the mayor interrupted my impassioned speech. “You think that because you filled my daughter’s head with delusions of grandeur, you can speak for her?”
“I trust him, dad.”
He let out a huff. “Jude, I’ve heard from Officer Slack himself that Wilde here is only interested in joining the ZPD. He doesn’t really care about you. And how can you possibly call a fox a friend after what happened with Gideon?”
“Because he’s different. We’re more than just friends.”
Judy’s paw found it’s way on top of my own.
So, that is it, huh? We’re telling him about us here and now. Not that it mattered, given the southern turn of the conversation. As I glanced over to Judy, in the seat next to mine, I recalled that the words I had just spoken to her father were never mentioned out loud to her before. Honest praise left unsaid. She was smiling at me, like someone who was content with the end of their life. And it might as well have been the death of both of us.
Her expression directly contrasted her father’s, as the meaning of Judy’s retort slowly dawned on him. The mayor’s eyes bugged out of their sockets briefly. He ran through the five stages of grief within the span of a few seconds, judging by the contours on his face. Denial. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. And anger.
He turned his full attention to me with a scowl that would make even an enraged bull run for his life.
“You’re fired.”
I had long expected that since Judy had been brought into the conversation, though hearing it still stung just the same. But it was Judy who expressed the most outrage.
“Dad, you can’t just—”
“I can and I did. If he wants to involve himself with my family, I don’t want him serving as the town sheriff. My sheriff. And that includes banning him from the Labor Day party. Don’t expect to perform in front of the scout, Wilde. I won’t even allow you to step foot inside the event.”
I nodded, making sure to keep full eye contact with the rabbit. “I understand, sir.”
“And as for you, young lady. I’ve heard from Humphrey about the band scheduled to play at the party. Predators, the lot of them. And friends of Gideon Grey, no less. A dangerous group.”
Angus was about as dangerous as a stuffed teddy bear. And Travis could be a jerk, but he was more bark than bite. Both Judy and I knew that. Judy returned her father’s glares with one of her own, crossing her arms as sparks blew between them.
“I’m eighteen. I can choose who I hang out with on my own. I don’t need your permission.”
“You’re right,” the mayor said at once. “And I can’t ban the band from the party with the money having already been exchanged for them to play. Legally, I’m at an impasse. I can’t tell you what to do. You’re old enough to make your own choices.”
He leaned in close with his paws crossed on the table, looking more like a shady business-mammal than a caring father.
“So, I’m going to offer you a choice. As an adult. I will rescind Wilde’s dismissal from the Bunnyburrow police force until after the Labor Day party. He will be given a two week’s notice to set his affairs in order and be allowed to attend the event.”
Both our ears perked up at that offer. That would still give me the opportunity to impress the ZPD scout at the party and potentially earn me a job in the city.
“In return,” the mayor interrupted our hopeful thoughts. “Wilde is to stay away from you. Now and forever. If I find him within ten feet of you, I will instantly eject him from service.”
I winced at the demand but held my tongue. Of course that was going to be the catch. He would do whatever was in his power to keep her away from me. Though if I knew Judy, the second the Labor Day party was over, she’d disobey that command, regardless of her father’s threats. As horrible as it was, that thought provided me some comfort.
“And,” he continued. “You will be banned from playing guitar with those predators for the party.”
This time, I was the one to lose my cool.
“You can’t be serious...You’re sacrificing your own daughter’s happiness for the sake of proving a point?”
“Mind your tone, Wilde,” he growled. “I’m not sacrificing anything. The choice is Judy’s. Though I can’t imagine the band values her much given her history with their friend, Gideon. If she loves music like you say she does, she can continue playing.”
Yeah, in exchange for kicking me out of the ZPD.
The unfairness of the ultimatum was making my stomach gurgle with sickness.
I bared my teeth. “What kind of a father are you?”
“I protect my own,” he snapped back, unfazed by the warning signs I was emitting. “Always. Even if she ends up hating me for it.”
I was about to fire back a slew of insults until I felt Judy’s paw on top of mine again. She stared at me with sad eyes, shaking her head. I remembered seeing her in my bedroom, in the early morning. It’s okay. In an instant, all my anger brewing dissolved away. The red in my eyes vanished and I could think clearly again.
“You promise, dad?” asked Judy. “If I agree, you’ll let him attend the party?”
“I’m not trying to trick you, Jude.”
He just wanted to put her in an unwinnable situation, spiteing her to get to me. And I would be an awful mammal if I let her do it without a fight.
“Carrots,” I whispered. “I don’t need the job. You can’t just — ”
“It’s my choice,” she reminded me with a stern tone. “What I do is up to me.”
I wanted to make a fuss. Or scream at her. But I knew better than that. Judy had that determined look in her eye. The kind that she had on when she picked up the guitar after the string had whipped her in the face. She was set on something. And nothing, not even hell or high water, would change her mind. Even if it meant giving up her new dream to protect mine.
“I’ll do it,” she said, with finality.
“Splendid,” said the mayor, blissfully unaware of the subtext to our words. “Jude, Officer Slack will drive you home. You’re grounded for a month. Wilde, you know the way back. Enjoy your day off and expect business as usual come tomorrow.”
It was all I could do not to growl at the smug rabbit. “Yes, sir.”
We both rose from our seats to meet with Hank still waiting outside the office door.
“Oh,” added the mayor. “And I’ll be holding onto the guitar, just in case.”
It was rough to see a day start so well but end so badly. And the worst was yet to come.
Losing my job was something I had fantasized about since arriving in Bunnyburrow, while fiddling boredly in the station with nothing to do. But never once did I imagine Judy having another dream stolen from her. Sure, she could have been declined when she tried to join Pain Kettle. But that wouldn’t mean giving up playing guitar permanently. With the ironwood in the mayor’s clutches, it was doubtful he intended for Judy to ever play again.
And someone needed to give the band the bad news…
I moped around the apartment for the rest of the day, unable to summon the energy to do much of anything. And with Jack out of contact, there was no one to vent my emotions to. I just laid on the couch like a slug after finishing cleaning the smell out of my room. I felt better with the reminders of Judy gone from the bedroom. I had been lovesick before, after the thing with Angel. But this was something else. Something more raw and personal. Like a fight with a best friend. Like losing one of my paws. I was livid and wanted to tear apart the cushions on the couch with my teeth. Though my anger mostly centered on the mayor and how he had stomped on Judy’s dreams of playing without even realizing it. She had given up everything she had worked on all summer.
And for what? A dumb fox who was already fired from his job anyway. It was hardly a fair trade. But I couldn’t be angry with Judy. I knew, in the back of my mind, I’d do the same thing for her if the situation was reversed.
The drive to Catspaw did not improve my mood, though the change of scenery was appreciated. Gideon’s truck was available for my last drive into the swamp. Even the comforts of music playing on the radio did nothing to distract me. The passenger seat was empty. When I arrived at the hangar, Travis and Angus were barely getting set up. I had come earlier than was usual.
Travis was the first to notice me approaching from the truck, as he set up his amp. And he was the first to realize something was amiss.
“Where’s Judy?”
My tail brushed up at the mention of her name. “I, uh, have some bad news…”
Chapter 30: Track 30: “88”
Chapter Text
Travis was not pleased to hear my report.
Not that I could blame him. After searching hard for a guitarist, to finally find one and put a lot of effort into training her only for her to bail at the last minute...That would give anyone a bad day. But some of the words he threw at Judy were completely uncalled for.
“That little flake took our money and ran,” he snarled at me.
“She didn’t have a choice,” I snapped back. After a long day, I was in no mood for manners. “Her father found out about the band and took her guitar away from her. And if the money is really all that matters to you, I’m sure you can ask for it back.”
“And come off as a beggar? I think not! The little thief can choke on it, for all I care.”
Travis brought a warning finger to my face.
“You go and tell her she’s not welcomed back here. You hear me? I never want to see that rabbit’s face anywhere near me again. Got it?”
I might have fired back a few colorful words of my own to the ferret if I didn’t notice Angus looking concerned behind him. Unlike his partner, the giant coyote looked genuinely saddened by the news of Judy’s departure. Though I could never tell for certain when he never said a word to me. He gave me a passing look of sorrow as I excused myself from their practice site, on the tail of Travis shouting at me at the top of his lungs.
Sleep did not come easy that night.
I tossed and turned in the heat of the late summer evening, cursing our lack of air conditioning and everything around me. I felt like I was resting on a bed of bugs and I itched incessantly for no reason. All the while, I kept getting flashes of what had happened in the same space the night before. When morning finally came, I didn’t want to go to work. There didn’t feel like a point.
But I dragged myself out of bed, despite the few hours of sleep I did manage to squeeze out. One day down, thirteen until I’d be let out permanently. An unlucky number.
And less than a week left before the party. Though I was having trouble finding reasons to care.
Nothing compared to the strain of sitting in the police station on Monday morning with Hank.
It hadn’t been the first time that the deputy had thrown me under the bus with the mayor. If anything, this was the latest in a long line of subtle sabotaging that had been going on right under my nose. I kept to my desk, glaring at him with my arms crossed. Wearing my much-too-small uniform and trying to look imposing on a miniature chair built for a rabbit.
It wasn’t until lunch when Hank finally called attention to my stares.
“I’m not at fault for what happened, Nick. That’s all on you.”
I huffed indignantly. “No loyalty for a friend, deputy?”
He returned my own glare with his arms crossed over his protruding stomach. Though his voice held more professionalism than mine.
“Not much of a friend if you outright lie to me, are you? I warned you about keeping away from the mayor’s daughter. And you turned right around and ignored me. You didn’t heed my advice and now you’re suffering for it. So, don’t blame me.”
“I could care less about losing this job,” I snapped at him. “But you have no idea what you did to Judy. Do you?”
“She’ll be fine. The burrows will be fine. And things will continue on as they always have without you. You didn’t learn a dang thing from Humphrey, did you? You tried to fix Judy, just like she did. Best to let things play out on their own. Can’t get hurt if you don’t invest yourself.”
“Must help if you don’t even try.”
Hank sensed I was referring to his choice in lifestyle. They were words tossed at him in anger, but they had been building for months. Laziness. Apathy. These were the things I thought of whenever I described Hank. And I looked at him with such contempt for going behind my back.
He sighed and licked at his silver teeth. “You know what the longest term a sheriff has spent in office here in the burrow is, Nick?”
I didn’t answer him, not wishing to give his point any justification.
“Not even three years. That was Humphrey. But long before her, there was another champion of that title. A bull who held the role when I first signed up at your age. And I’ve been in service here for near on twenty years since. I have seen every kind of mammal in that position. Some of the worst and some of the best, morally or otherwise. It didn’t matter. None of them lasted. They all quit, were fired, or moved on. Including me.”
“Including you?” I repeated Hank’s last words. “Hank, you never said—”
“That I was sheriff too once?” he stared up at me with angry eyes. “Come on, Nick. You don’t think I’ve been here for this long without at least trying to work my way up, do you? Give me more credit than that. I was the town sheriff up until about five years ago.”
I did some quick math in my head, struggling to recall all the details. It was easier if I went off of Judy’s age.
That’s when I realized something.
“Judy was twelve when she attacked Gideon Grey.”
Hank spoke solemnly. “That’s correct.”
“...That would mean that—”
“I was the acting sheriff during that mess. Yes.”
I stared at the deputy in stunned silence as he removed his hat and began fanning himself. Hank continued to glare at me, bitter that I had dragged what was no doubt a bitter backstory out of him.
“Stu and I were good friends, even before I joined the police force. After Judy had her accident, I kept looking out for him. For her sake too. I helped Judy where I could, even pointing out the junior police academy to her when she recovered, for what good it did. We both know how that went.”
“...It ended in her attacking Gideon.”
“Things have always been stressful between predators and prey in the burrows. Judy’s fall strained matters, but their fight changed things for the worse. What was I supposed to do in that situation? I had my friendship with Stu to maintain, but the predators wanted Judy tried as an adult. Things were starting to get violent. I was opting to put her into an asylum or juvenile hall to appease the demands of the mob. But Stu fought back in his own way. When he became mayor, it was too much. What was the right thing to do in that situation? It was easier to step down.”
“And keep your head down.”
“With Stu as mayor, the matter resolved itself and life went on. As these things tend to do.”
“So, what you’re saying is you’re not apathetic,” I growled. “You’re just a coward.”
“You can call me that if you want,” Hank shrugged. “I’ve heard worse. I’ve kept my friendship with Stu though, even if I don’t agree with all his decisions regarding Judy. And, as deputy, I can look out for him and his family. It’s the least I can do.”
“Yeah, by doing nothing.”
“I do plenty. I’m Stu’s ears and eyes, Nick. And it’s a two-way street. I could tell you what he’s thinking in regards to this mess with Judy. And let me tell you, you’re better off just dropping it and moving on. Cut your losses and fold.”
“Sorry. I’m a slow learner.”
“You’re angry,” Hank responded. “I understand that. But what were you trying to accomplish with Judy? Teaching her guitar? Trying to make nice with her? Are you any better than me? Because it sounds like you were just using her for your own means. And I’ve been watching you. I’ve seen how you shut people out, keeping to yourself. Outside of Judy, what friends do you have here?”
I couldn’t respond to the smug rabbit. He took that as a cue to continue.
“Not that it matters anymore. Stu will be selling the guitar and that will be the end of this silliness.”
“Selling the guitar,” I repeated the phrase. “That wasn’t a part of the deal. He only told Judy that she’s not allowed to play with the band.”
“Or in general,” Hank shrugged. “Judy going all the way to Catspaw on her own scares him. That’s outside his jurisdiction to protect her. Best to remove the temptation altogether. Stu will sell that guitar she had for a fair price and that will be that.”
“Without any consideration of what that means to her?” I snapped at the rabbit, like he was to blame for the decision. “Hank, you can’t let him do that. It will destroy her dream.”
Hank shrugged indifferently. “It’s Stu’s decision, ultimately. I just look out for him. As a friend.”
There wasn’t a valiant bone in the deputy’s body. I rose from my seat to leave the station for some air.
“You’re not a real friend of the mayor, Hank. A real friend wouldn’t let him make obvious bad decisions like that. A real friend of the family wouldn’t sit on his paws and do nothing while one kid destroys herself.”
I stopped at the door before slamming it closed.
“Real friends push.”
I wasn’t even sure what I was doing out on the road in the cruiser. Traffic duty sounded preferable than spending another minute trapped with Hank in the station. There was a hot ball of lead in my chest. A seething, painful wad of molten hatred that settled down my throat all the way into the pit of my stomach. Hatred for the mayor, for giving Judy an impossible choice. Hatred for Hank, for having no spine and being the mayor’s patsy. And, most of all, hatred for myself in letting things come to this. For giving Judy hope only for it to be taken away.
I had seen Judy happy while playing guitar and enjoying music. I still had the recording of her and the band playing Skunk on the Water, probably the only image I kept of Judy on my person. Parked off the side of the road in the middle of the town square, I played it a few times if only to fuel my belly full of anger.
There was no one I could talk to. Mom would make me feel worse and cause more problems. Jack was out of contact, despite my frequent attempts to reach out to him. Travis and Angus wouldn’t give me the time of day. Gideon was sleeping and had his own problems to worry about. Humphrey I didn’t want to talk to with her perpetual cheerfulness, nor could she do anything to help given her relationship with the mayor.
When you’re bitter and angry, there are few worse things than silence. Silence means you’re left to think, and thinking can be dangerous when adrenaline is pumping through your body. Music did nothing for me, the country songs on the radio reminded me just how much I hated the burrows. And how the mayor had taken away Judy’s guitar. Everything in the entire world seemed determined to fuel the fire more. Especially the sight of the town hall across the street from me.
A rational mammal would take time to think things over. Take a day off. Take a breather.
But I was far from rational thought at that moment. I was mad. Savage. Wild.
This is the point in the movie where the dumb main character fights back against all odds and defeats the evil mayor, getting his job back and getting the girl at the end. With my imagination, I could see it all. Kick down the door to the town hall, guns blazing like I was some 80’s buff action hero, spouting one liners. I knew it was just some crazy fantasy. I wasn't about to hurt anyone. This was reality and I wasn’t a movie star. I couldn’t do all those crazy things for the sake of someone I cared about.
Instead, I was going to have to settle for getting back Judy’s guitar.
“Surprise, Nick!”
Of all the mammals I expected to find behind my apartment door on a Friday evening, seeing Jack standing there was the furthest thing from my mind. And he was the wrong bunny I hoped would be on the other side.
The arctic hare was dressed in his civvies. Though, judging by the locked suitcase at his side, he had also brought his blues and stun gun with him in case of emergencies. He looked like a tourist, with his Pawaii print shirt, capris, and sunglasses being worn in the dark of the night. He was someone prepared to go on a vacation, completely the wrong mentality when visiting Bunnyburrow. Even his expression of coy contentment was out-of-place, compared to the heavy scowl I was wearing at the sight of him.
Jack remained oblivious to my mood as he hoisted his hefty suitcase over the border into my home. Not even asking permission to enter the apartment...
“You weren’t kidding,” he said, throwing down his suitcase next to the couch and collapsing in a heap on the cushions. “There is literally nothing around for miles out here. We almost got lost trying to find your place. Nice apartment you got here, by the way. Twice as big as the shoebox I live in, and probably half the cost too.”
I crossed my arms, in no mood for his quips. “What are you doing here, Jack?”
“Well, hello to you too,” Jack scoffed at my sour greeting, lowering his shades to look at me. “Is that how you say thanks to someone who pulled some strings to come along with the scout and Friedkin so he can watch your back during the party? Give me a little credit, at least.”
“And isn’t that slightly abusing your status?”
“Meh. I’m owed vacation time, the way I see it. It’s not like I’ll be doing nothing either. I convinced Bogo that I can provide an extra set of eyes, or ears rather, for any potential recruits. I’m here to help you out, buddy.”
I sighed and put my head in my paws. “Jack...Have you been reading the texts I’ve sent you?”
“Nope. Been more focused on finding a way to get out here. Packing and working out travel. And then there’s bad service here. Why? Things not go well with your bunny girlfriend?”
“Jack...Just check your phone.”
Though it had been months since we had spoken face to face, Jack still recognized my serious tone of voice. His ears flopped slightly as he pulled out a sleek black App-El phone. I gave him a few minutes of silence to sort through the novel of texts I had been sending him over the past few days, which explained everything in vivid detail.
I’d like to say it was amusing to watch his own cheery mood slowly die off, but it wasn’t.
While he processed everything since our last conversation, his ears drooped lower and lower until he was wearing them like a shemagh behind his head. When he finished reading, he put the phone down.
“Dude...You got fired?”
“For all intents and purposes,” I sighed and collapsed onto the couch next to him. “More like I’m a dead fox walking, if anything else. And that’s not the worst of it. He’s selling Judy’s guitar.”
“That’s worse? Dude, we’re talking about your job here. The thing we worked hard on to get you through the academy for. Your career as a police officer. Joining the ZPD. Doesn’t that bother you in the slightest?”
“Not as much as the guitar.”
He stared at me like my fur was on fire. His expression of disbelief burned away into the same anger I was feeling.
“Okay, what gives, Nick? You lose your job and it doesn’t even faze you? Are you that hung up about the rabbit?”
In the back of my mind, I knew that when this was all over I could probably see Judy again. Not even the mayor could stop that, given Judy’s penchant for disobeying authority.
“It’s not that, Jack…”
“Is it about the specism here?”
“No…”
“Then it’s about Friedkin and impressing the scout.”
“It’s not anymore, no.”
“Then what is it? Because it’s sounding to me like you don’t even want to be a cop.”
“And maybe I don’t, Jack.”
It was too late to stop the words from slipping out and I was even slower in realizing who I was talking to about my feelings of being an officer.
Jack had always wanted to be a police officer. He told me so the day we first started hanging out together. Whenever we had movie night, his first choice would be the buddy-cop dramas or the spy movies. Wanting to be a police officer defined him probably as much as it did Judy when she was a kid. And it was the only thing on his mind when he graduated from school and went off to community college while I stayed at home, playing guitar. It was always something Jack wanted.
He stared at me from across the couch, his arms crossed and looking like I had just told him Christmas was cancelled. I let out a pained whine, not wanting to hurt his feelings anymore than I knew I just did.
“Look, Jack...Being a police officer is a dream you’ve always had as a kid. I get that. And no one’s ever going to take that away from you. But it just...Hasn’t ever been as big a thing for me. Alright?”
Jack blinked several times, buffering like an old ZooTube video.
“...I don’t understand,” he said. “You put all this effort into getting this far. Now you’re saying you never even wanted to do it?”
“It wasn’t my first choice in a career, man. Don’t you remember that day years ago? You tried to convince me to get off the street and do something with my life. And I only did it so it made you and mom happy.”
Jack remained quiet as I slumped further into the couch.
“This summer has had me thinking,” I continued. “A lot. About what I want to do with my life and who I want to spend it with. I’m twenty six and haven’t done much with what I already have. I mean, this is my first real career and now I’ve gotten fired over it. This feels like a great time to really sit down and think about what I want to do next.”
“But...But you still have the scout you can impress. You can still get into the ZPD if you try.”
“I could care less about dancing around for the amusement of that sadistic polar bear. And when this is all said and done, I won’t be welcomed to the party anyway.”
“When what’s all said and done? What are you planning?”
I rose from the couch, trying to look dramatic but failing that by stubbing my toe against the coffee table.
“I’m going to steal Judy’s guitar back from the mayor.”
Jack looked up blankly at me. Less of a reaction than I thought he’d have.
I had spent the week giving the matter a lot of thought while quietly raging. Weighing the pros and cons of such a decision. This would be the end of my career as a police officer, that much was certain. When before, I had the chance of being reassigned after my two weeks were up. This route would be a clear felony and I’d have to turn in my badge if I wasn’t imprisoned by the end of it. And anyone associated in the matter would receive similar consequences, which is why I had been keeping the thoughts to myself.
Jack had a right to know though, being my best friend. And a true cop.
After a long moment of silence Jack finally moved, setting down his sunglasses and cellphone on the coffee table. He turned away from me, dusting himself off. Pretending I didn’t exist.
We could still be friends. Right?
In truth, I always imagined Jack being accepting of me in any scenario. Never once did I consider that he’d never want to associate himself with a criminal after all we had been through. That we might stop being friends because of one stupid decision on my part.
That’s when the fear set in.
Oh, god. What am I doing?
“Jack,” I tried to get out, thinking he might leave.
I wasn’t aware that you could actually throw up from getting kicked hard enough in the stomach.
Jack did not hold back, putting in the strength he only ever reserved for subduing enormous criminals. I had seen him down a full grown hippo with one leg sweep once in the academy. Now, I knew how he managed to do it.
I doubled up on myself, feeling the acidic blueberry yogurt contents of my belly rise into my throat as I caught them in my mouth and swallowed. That saved me from getting sick all over the living room floor. Though that didn’t stop me from falling onto both knees.
Jack towered over me, ears back and teeth flaring. Eyes slit like a predator’s.
“Did that knock some sense into you?” he growled. “Or do I have to try your head next?”
“Jack,” I groaned, unable to even look up at him as my intestines settled back into place.
“Nick, I am okay with you not wanting to be a cop. I know I pushed you into it, but only because I thought it’d be good for you. I’m fine with you trying for another career in the city. You can be an ice cream vendor. You can sell carpets for a living. Heck, I’d even support you if you decided to do nothing but busk for a job. But I will never allow you to turn to a life of crime as a means of providing for yourself. Do you understand me?”
“Jack…”
“Is this about role models? I know I sometimes play fast and loose with the law. But I never break the rules. Ever. And I’ll be dipped in chocolate and sold on Easter Sunday before I allow my best friend in the world to—”
“JACK!”
I had to show him my teeth to get him to stop his ranting.
We both had a small breather to calm ourselves down. Jack waited in respectful silence for me to continue.
“I was being a little stupid,” I began.
Jack huffed. “A little ?”
“Alright, alright! I was being a complete donkey. And not the good kind.”
“I’ll say. What the heck were you thinking, man? What would Marla say if she heard this?”
“I just…,” I tried to defend myself but could come up with no reasonable excuse with the dark cloud over my head having blown away. “I don’t know. I was just angry and I had no one to vent to. So, I guess I got a little stir crazy in my own head.”
“You’ve been alone out here for far too long.”
“I know. You don’t have to tell me that. It’s just...It’s so unfair. It was bad enough when the mayor took Judy’s guitar away. But then I heard he was going to sell it. It was like...Seeing someone stomp on her hopes and dreams. I can’t let him get away with it, Jack.”
“There are better ways you can go about it, moron. Ways that don’t lose you your job. Or get you arrested.”
Jack played the disappointed older brother perfectly with his disapproving sigh.
“Look,” he said. “Real talk. No holding back or nothing. Do you want to be a cop, Nick? Because this can go a number of ways depending on your answer.”
Do you want to be a cop?
I had thought I had settled the matter with Judy only for Jack to bring up the question again. Maybe I had simply agreed to it because it was what Judy wanted, and without her it didn’t feel worthwhile on it’s own. That was hardly a fair response. It was a question I had spent most of my adult life pondering, over and over. What did I want? What made me happy?
Beyond Judy, there was a feeling of warmth to teaching her about guitar. Or being there for her. Being needed. Being the sturdy foundation. It was raw and personal and I tried my very best to harness that emotion into words for Jack.
“I want to help people, Jack.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“I know it doesn’t,” I spat back. “Look, I’m never going to be a super cop like you, okay? I’m never going to be on your level or do the things you do. And I’m fine with that. That’s not me. But this...Helping Judy. It made me feel good. Even before it turned into more than just helping her.”
I looked down at myself, in my greasy tank top and gym shorts.
“I know it’s vague. But it’s not something that’s exactly easy to describe either. I just...Was at my best when it felt like I had a purpose for getting up in the morning. Like...I was making the world a slightly better place by teaching and helping her.”
My words had been building into a spearhead. I glared up at Jack for the final thrust.
“So, if being a cop lets me keep doing that—If I can do something beyond sitting at a desk filling out meaningless paperwork all day—Then yes. I want to be a cop. It's what I've been training for, isn't it? I want to help people. Starting with Judy.”
It felt good to finally get that out and say the words. They had more weight to them.
Jack let out a long breath of air through his nose, like a deflating ego balloon. He clenched his paw into a fist and tapped me on the forehead with it.
“Then you better come up with a better way to do this that doesn’t involve you committing a crime, idiot.”
He spoke with such sharp certainty that I almost thought he was telling a deadpan joke. I huffed my own bitter laugh.
“How? The mayor’s got every advantage and the game is stacked against me.”
“So, beat him at his own game. Don’t sink down to the level he expects you to as a fox. Don’t give him exactly what he wants.”
The thought of losing to the mayor and proving him right about foxes was all I needed to never think about stealing the guitar again. Jack’s fist softened and he bumped me on the shoulder instead.
“You’ll think of something, Nick. You got this. And trust me, you got friends that have your back.”
I nodded and closed my eyes to think.
And so I thought. For two whole hours.
Jack left me sitting cross-legged in the middle of the living room, eyes shut like I was meditating. He got to work unpacking and helping himself to whatever was in the fridge left by Gideon. Then he rolled out the spare sheets for the sofa, his bed for his stay in the apartment. All the while, we didn’t speak a word to each other. He knew to not interrupt me. I was weighing everything that had transpired in the summer I had been in the burrows, taking into account recent developments and trying to consider any alternatives.
So, beat him at his own game.
The goal was to get Judy her guitar back and not get me fired. Undo the rules the mayor had set in place. But anything I could come up with on my own was met with fierce disapproval in the simulations I ran through my head. But that was when I was alone.
And trust me, you got friends that have your back.
Past nine, I finally stood up in a stretch. Jack had taken a seat on the armchair, fiddling with his phone for entertainment. He raised an ear at me while I battled with my body’s stiffness.
“You have a plan?”
“The bones of one,” I muttered, cracking my back. “I need to make some calls.”
Chapter 31: Track 31: “Behind Closed Doors”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Here we go. The last album. The pieces are in place and the game is set.
Can’t say much else without spoiling the song. It has a bittersweet tone to it though, but I think it’s beautiful all the same. Even with the rebellious rhythm it’s now sporting. And there’s some sad truth to the lyrics, if you have an ear for it.
I’ll stop with my pretentious snobbery ruining the moment though. You’re here for the music, not to listen to a hasbeen guitarist talk about how he got started on his career.
Following an eventful morning was a long day of work in solitude.
Hank had been “recruited” by Humphrey into helping manage the Labor Day party site, as they were down to the wire in putting everything together. Construction had been in place since early in the week to make way for the stage and game stands, like a miniature faire. Or, at least, as much as the limited budget could afford. It was no Carrot Day festival, but it had to fit over two hundred officers and their families.
Hank’s role as co-manager had been a reward for him mucking up the food orders and wasting money. The position kept him busy all day and out of the office, far to the north in the Hopps fields. Jack had his own job to do in touring the burrows with Friedkin and the ZPD scout, the mayor’s three guests of honor. I was instructed to give them a wide berth and keep to my office unless an emergency.
I was content enough to be alone with the quiet of my paperwork, keeping the most important item of all in my wallet.
Closing time brought with it my ride to town hall. Gideon had delayed going into work so he could pick me up at our agreed time. I pulled out my phone. 6:00 PM on the dot. We’d have ten minutes to get to the main street of Bunnyburrow. Five minutes to earn an audience with the mayor. And fifteen to make my case. All of it had to be like clockwork.
“Perfect timing, Gid,” I said, taking my seat next to him in the front. “Both of you.”
To say the pickup truck was a tad cramped would be an understatement. Between us two foxes was the largest mammal the vehicle had ever seen, a white furred coyote with a gut to match.
Along with Gideon, Angus had been the enlisted help I had rung up the previous evening. Technically, I had hoped to speak to Travis but the weasel wouldn’t give me five words before he hung up when I called him at work. Angus was more accepting of my proposal. Or, at least, I thought he was. When I called his personal number through Gideon, the quiet coyote hadn’t said a word to me over the line. I almost didn’t expect him to show up until Gid assured me that it was Angus’ way to use as few words as possible when talking to anyone. His presence in the pickup truck only confirmed that he was here to help get Judy back into the band, taking my words to him to heart. While not a part of the scene at the town hall, he’d come into play later.
Angus let out a satisfied huff as he nodded to acknowledge my presence. It didn’t help that my shoulder was dug into his ribs. The police officer in me had to make sure we all had our seatbelts on before we could continue the drive.
“So,” spoke Gideon as we drove off. “You’re really doing this?”
“Yep. Thanks for playing the driver, Gid. I know it’s not the most glamorous job but…”
“It’s the least I can do to help, as far as Jude is concerned. I reckon you won’t be around after this is all said and done though.”
“Well, assuming I don’t get fired tonight, I’m still getting let go in a week’s time. Can’t say I want to stick around the burrow if the mayor has it out for me. One way or another, I’ll be leaving for the city at the end of next week.”
“Well, you’re a talented tod. I reckon you can find somewhere that’ll take you which doesn’t have Stu’s paws in it.”
“Nah. I’m not going to stick around a place where my presence is merely tolerated.”
“I getcha…”
“Why do you ask though?” I said with a smirk, raising the brim of my hat. “Don’t tell me you’re going to miss me and my big mouth.”
“No...Well, yes. I mean...It was nice to have a roommate for a change. You know?”
“Mmm. Two people living together makes the expenses more manageable, eh?”
“W-Well, I’m not going to pretend that’s not a part of it. But...I dunno. You helped me a lot this summer. Actually got Jude to talk to me. Got me helping and actually doing something. I appreciate it and I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone.”
It was better to shrug off the emotions from Gideon’s statement with a laugh. Couldn’t confront the mayor if I got sentimental beforehand. Gid had a good habit of speaking from the heart, which made him sound sincere in just about everything he said.
I glanced up to Angus to kill the mood. “Gonna miss me too, big guy?”
Angus just rolled his eyes as a retort, causing me to chuckle. True to Gideon’s word, Angus hadn’t said a single sentence the whole car ride.
“I wish I had your guts so I could quit,” continued Gideon. “Would give me more time to focus on my baking.”
“Then why don’t you? You can’t be staying for Judy’s sake anymore with all that’s happened.”
“The extra income’s nice. Curt as he can be with me, Stu is generous enough with compensating for his workers...That was an awful thing to say, wasn’t it?”
“Hey, if you need to go with where the money is then do it. But if you know what you’d rather be doing with your life, then I’d say you need to commit to it. Take it from someone who didn’t know where he was going until recently.”
Gideon nodded but kept his eyes on the road. “Awfully saga-cuss of you to say that.”
“You mean sagacious?”
“Right. That word.”
We arrived exactly on time and I was through the door just as the clock clicked to 6:10.
In the twilight, the town hall looked almost welcoming with its marble steps. Most of the workers in the building had cleared out for dinner with their families. There was only the light on for the lobby and the mayor’s office. I could tell my presence wasn’t welcomed by the concerned stare from the sheep secretary the moment I walked into the waiting room. She nervously drummed at her desk as I approached her with my game face on. I wasn’t going to show any quarter, meek prey or not.
“I’m here to see the mayor,” I let the secretary know through my tone of voice that I wasn’t there for chit chat. “Kindly let him know I’ve arrived. I’ll give him five minutes.”
“M-Mayor Hopps is currently—”
“Five minutes,” I repeated, glancing down to my phone as the clock turned to 6:11. “Please and thank you.”
I wasn’t about to chew the poor ewe out for doing her job. I was holding that ammunition back for the mayor, after all. But there was a certain satisfaction as she immediately buzzed me in and alerted the mayor to my presence.
I was in his office by 6:15.
“Mr. Wilde,” growled the mayor upon my entry. “Is there a reason you’re interrupting my dinner?”
I thought I had detected the scent of Pi-Chang’s before I had entered the room. A half-eaten box of vegetable lo mein was cleared away to the corner of the mayor’s desk. The mayor himself was sitting upright with his paws crossed and teeth showing. But his stern posture was a distraction. I knew I had caught him off guard with my sudden appearance the day before the party. And I was going to have to savor that brief moment of unease if I was going to do this right. Go right into a suckerpunch.
“Mayor Hopps. I’m here to get the guitar back.”
He had a good reaction of whiplash, though he recovered quicker than I would have hoped.
“And what makes you think I’m going to let you do that? Or have you already forgotten about the deal we made?”
“I haven’t forgotten about it one bit,” I growled. “I also seem to recall never personally agreeing to your demands specifically.”
“Really? Then I can fire you right now, if you’d like.”
I huffed. The mayor wasn’t playing ball. Thirty seconds into our conversation and he was already prepared to throw me out on the street. I had time I needed to kill though, leaving me to dance in the fire alone.
After burning a few precious seconds in silence, I cleared my throat and began again.
“Mr. Hopps. Are you aware of the laws concerning civil forfeiture and seizure in the city-state of Zootopia?”
“I am. Though I suspect you’re about to remind me.”
My days memorizing the laws and their loopholes in the academy were about to pay off.
“It is in the power of an authority to seize property suspected to be involved in illegal activity if such property is a conflict of interest or directly a part of a dispute between two private parties. This is especially true if the object in question is suspected to be used in some sort of crime. It is acceptable to do this without ever accusing the property owner of any wrongdoing. However, regardless of any reasoning, an explanation must be given to the parties affected so they can contest the seizure in court.”
I crossed my arms as I glared at the grumpy, old rabbit. He was unimpressed with my memory of the Tariff Act of 1983. I brought the bantering around to my ultimate point.
“My question to you is this: What crime is being committed to merit civil forfeiture in this circumstance?”
The mayor weighed my words carefully, now sensing I wanted to approach the matter from a legal standpoint rather than settlement behind closed doors.
“...There is none,” admitted the rabbit. “Because there is no civil forfeiture. Judy is my daughter. Therefore, the guitar is my property.”
“Even if Judy was a minor, which she is not, she would be protected by the Uniform Transfers to Minors Act which allows her to accept gifts that you cannot legally take away from her as a guardian.”
“I didn’t take away anything. She willingly gave it up.”
“And you have plans to sell it, treating it like it's your own property. Regardless of any informal agreements made, you have no proof of ownership to merit your claim. But I do.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. It was empty save for the receipt dated for August 15th, 2010. A purchase made from Ben’s Bridges at $624. I held up the flimsy slip for the mayor to read the model number of the guitar.
“The guitar is mine,” I stated plainly. “Judy was merely borrowing it for practice. And you cannot sell it while I hold ownership.”
The mayor sighed heavily, removing his hat and running his paw through his ears.
“Get to the point, Wilde,” he said exhaustively. “If you want to run circles around me with legal jabber, then fine. It’s really quite simple. You can take back the guitar. But in return, you give me your badge. If you want to use the law to prevent me from touching your property then it’s within your rights to do so. But it doesn’t protect your dwindling status as sheriff. Ultimately, all you’re doing is making it so that there was never any choice in the matter. You will be fired without this leverage.”
I raised an eye. “So, you admit that I am the owner of the guitar. Are you confirming, with my witness as a sheriff of Bunnyburrow, that the guitar is property of Nicholas Piberious Wilde and will be protected from any future seizures?”
“I’ll even put it in writing, if I must.”
“That’d be wonderful, actually,” I replied with a sly smile as I pushed the receipt in front of him. “Signing at the bottom there and acknowledging my ownership in a short sentence would suffice enough.”
I couldn’t help but feel smug as the mayor picked up a pen and ensured that Judy would never feel threatened by the potential of him taking Josie away from her again. A signature on the receipt would confirm that the mayor was aware of the ownership. And without a deed to the guitar, the receipt would be proof enough along with my word as a former sheriff and a testament from Ben of my purchase.
“Now then,” muttered the mayor, as he dropped his pen and outstretched his paw. “Badge.”
I had been keeping my phone in my free paw while speaking to the mayor, watching the clock whenever I had a pause in our conversation. 6:24 PM.
“Certainly,” I replied, fighting with the pins on the pocket of my shirt. “Dang thing’s stuck.”
The mayor waited patiently with his paws crossed as I dragged struggling with getting my badge out for as long as possible. Until 6:25 anyway.
“Uh, Mr. Hopps,” came a timid voice over the intercom at his desk. “Officer Humphrey is coming to your office. I’m sorry, sir. I tried telling her you were busy, but—”
“It’s fine, Tara,” replied the mayor, hiding his discontent with a smile. But I could tell by his eyes that he was fast growing tired of the constant interruptions.
I had finished with the pins of my badge just as Humphrey walked through the door.
“Mr. Hopps,” she said. “I just wanted to let you know that construction for the stage is nearing completion and we should be ready to go before nine tonight. As well as—Oh. Hey, Wilde.”
“Humphrey,” I nodded with a smirk. She had the worst acting voice I had ever heard. Not that it mattered.
“And you couldn’t be bothered to simply call me about these matters?” grunted the mayor.
“I was in the neighborhood when I got the news, so I figured you could use some company seeing as Deputy Slack’s got his paws full setting things up. Maybe you’d like to go out to dinner or something and catch up for old time’s sake. Didn’t think you’d be in the middle of a meeting this late though.”
“We’re not,” he replied, glancing nervously to my badge. “Wilde here was just—”
“I was turning in my badge,” I sharply cut him off. “Mayor Hopps isn’t pleased with my service towards the burrows and his family and asked for my resignation. In exchange for my property back, I’ll be effectively stepping down tonight.”
Humphrey feigned surprise from my blunt commentary. “My word. Is that true?”
The mayor shot an angry glare at me as he muttered. “Indeed.”
I knew the mayor was a rabbit of appearances since the day of that party in July. Most of our squabbles happened away from prying eyes, where no one would suspect anything was wrong underneath the false smiles. Keeping things separated. Keeping everyone happy. Having Humphrey stumble into his office tainted that pretense, even if she was already on bad terms with the mayor. A mixing pot always brewed trouble.
“Well,” Humphrey muttered as I fiddled with my badge. “Are you going to show up for the party tomorrow, at least?”
“Can’t,” I replied. “The mayor’s banning me. I believe his exact words were, I won’t even allow you to step foot inside the event. ”
Humphrey put on a frown. “Now, that’s not fair, Mr. Hopps. Nick’s worked just as hard as any of the other officers who gave a paw to get things started for tomorrow. As a matter of fact, he’s the one who found entertainment and handled the food after Slack mucked things up. You can’t just eject him from the party just because of a squabble you’ve had with him.”
“This is non-negotiable,” he replied.
I noted the curt responses from the mayor becoming more frequent. Maybe he’s starting to realize what’s happening.
I sat back and let Humphrey take over.
“No, it’s not,” she continued. “As I recall, weren’t you the one who said during the town meeting last month that the invitations to the party can be to whomever we’d like?”
The mayor winced at his past self. “In regards to acceptable guests, yes.”
“And just what about Wilde isn’t acceptable? He’s the most accountable and caring sheriff I’ve ever seen in the post. I can understand some personal grievances between you two, sure. But it’s morally and ethically irresponsible to outright ban Nick from the party like that, sir. You’d be going back on your word, which is on public record in the minutes for that meeting, mind you.”
Judging by his head in his paw, I doubted the mayor needed a reminder. I took a moment to glance at the clock. 6:30 PM.
“Fine. Wilde can attend the party. But I understand that the games are for police officers only, and don’t think—”
“Uh, Mr. Hopps?” The poor ewe from the intercom chimed in again.
“Oh, what now?” growled the mayor as he punched in the response button. “What is it, Tara?”
“The, uh, the ZPD group has returned from their tour of the burrows. They’re heading your way…”
“Thank. You. Tara.”
It was all I could do to keep from laughing. There wasn’t even a token smile on the mayor’s face as he waited patiently for our new guests to arrive. He had all but forgotten about the badge still clasped in my paw.
Jack was the first to enter the room, dressed in shorts and a navy ZPD shirt to signify his status and not be mistaken for another rabbit from the burrows.
He was followed by a zebra whom I recognized from my graduation day. He was the same mammal who had given me my first assignment and I guessed served as the scout for the purposes of the party. He was the best dressed out of the three new guests, with white collar shirt and tie and a clipboard in his hooves for notes. I could see something in his cold, blue, calculating eyes. It was like he was measuring each and every one of us. Despite that, he still wasn’t the most unwelcome sight.
Friedkin was the biggest of the three guests, and the last to enter, making the office feel cramped. Little had changed about her from my days in the academy. Even her uniform was mostly the same with gym shorts, a T-Shirt, and an instructor cap. All she was missing was a whistle. And there was still the same gleam in her eyes when she saw me sitting down, followed by a familiar pit in my stomach.
“Foxtrot,” she said. My nickname during the academy.
“Major,” I replied, resisting the habit to salute. Though I wasn’t so impolite that I didn’t stand to shake paws. She was hesitant to accept the offer.
In an instant, the cruel smirk from the polar bear was gone the moment she looked down and to her right at a certain pig.
“Olivia! I didn’t even see you there! How you been, girl?”
The room devolved into chaos, being filled to capacity and not helped by its largest occupant blathering with Humphrey in front of the door. The mayor looked like he wanted to get a few words in, but couldn’t find it in himself to speak up as no one gave him a glance with him being behind his desk. The situation had been taken completely out of his control and he knew it.
Jack and the zebra turned their attention on me.
“Did we make good timing?” Jack asked me with a wink as he offered his paw.
“Perfect,” I replied while giving a brief shake.
“Sheriff Wilde?”
The zebra had put down his clipboard to face me directly, showing me his hoof in a stiff, robotic fashion.
“Xan Zandor,” he offered me his name. “Head Manager for Mammal Resources ZPD.”
I was given only one shake when Zandor pulled away and looked straight at me. I felt like I was being scanned by an x-ray.
“We’ve met,” spoke the zebra, like he was reciting a report. “May 29th, 4:56 PM. ZPD Academy’s 71st class graduation.”
“Heh, yeah. Impressive memory you have there.”
“Indeed.”
As if bored with our conversation already, Zandor turned away from me and refocused on his clipboard. He flipped through the pages and cleared his throat.
“Our inspection of the burrow’s police station was completed the previous evening, in addition to what we heard on the tour today by word of mouth. There are some troublesome inconsistencies we learned and some concerns we must address.”
I was slow to realize that Zandor had been talking to the mayor in his robotic overview of the state of Bunnyburrow’s police department. Friedkin and Humphrey broke from their gossiping to listen in as everyone in the room suddenly gave the mayor their full attention.
It had always bothered me why the mayor always spoke of maintaining appearances yet had insisted on not inviting the ZPD to attend a large event like the party. But, even in the beginning, I knew the reason. We’re well under budget and he doesn’t want headquarters to know by just how much.
“Yes,” replied the mayor, his fake smile no longer looking so composed. “As I’ve mentioned before, the service of the burrow’s finest is more than enough to handle the day-to-day humdrum of the—”
“You have two officers manning the station,” Friedkin sharply interrupted. “Two officers to protect and serve this entire section of the burrows. What if there were an emergency?”
“As I’m sure Officer Humphrey can attest, the local state authorities are close enough in locale to the town to provide any backup our sheriff might need in case of—”
“And what about overnight shifts?” continued the polar bear. “I doubt you have someone manning the station twenty-four-seven.”
“Our officers are equipped with beepers, which they are instructed to keep on their person at all times. Furthermore they both live in walking distance of—”
“Speaking of equipment,” Zandor interjected. “There’s also the matter of vehicles available. State regulations dictate that all stations have access to at least three standard cruisers, and one fitted with winter tires. I counted only one at the burrow’s station with reports that another was destroyed over a year ago and never replaced.”
“I’m sure an astute mammal such as yourself can realize that, with our limited budget, expenses might be cut somewhere. I wish we could afford a replacement cruiser. But, with the burrow’s housing situation, there simply isn’t the finances from the town to afford such extravagances.”
I almost felt sorry for the mayor. Almost.
It occurred to me that this was probably what he faced everyday at work. Folks coming to him with complaints and sacrifices that needed to be made. But his bias against police officers had consequences, and he was playing dearly for months of aggression against me by how he spoke to the ZPD officials with his paw clutching his chest. It was like they were giving him a heart attack with their constant questions.
We let him sweat for a little bit longer before it was Jack’s turn to bring the conversation around to its climax.
“I don’t know,” he interrupted his fellow ZPD officers. “Things can’t be so bad with two officers on duty, provided they’re competent enough. Sheriff Wilde seems to have the town under control.”
For a brief moment, the mayor looked relieved that a fellow rabbit had come to his rescue. Friedkin didn’t look nearly so impressed, as she turned her attention to me with her arms crossed.
“Is that right?” she asked. “As I recall, Foxtrot here had a little trouble in the academy.”
I shrugged to hide my nerves. “I like to think I’ve improved.”
“I’ll have to see that for myself in the games tomorrow. You’ll be representing your town, after all. I’d believe you could manage the entire burrow by yourself if you could survive what I have cooked up for you. You do plan on attending. Don’t you, Foxtrot?”
I chuckled. “Funny story about that. You see, according to the mayor here, I’m not—”
“He has his paws full organizing the event with Humphrey,” the mayor cut me off, like I knew he would.
I imagined it would look pretty bad if he admitted he had fired his sheriff and effectively half his police force to a pair of scouts from the ZPD who were scrutinizing his leadership capabilities and the short-pawedness of the station.
“Sheriff Wilde has been one of the key contributing members to the management of the party. He’ll be busy all day and couldn’t possibly join in the games.”
“That’s not entirely true, sir,” Humphrey butted in. “Deputy Slack has been more than accommodating in his assistance. Between the two of us, we won’t need Wilde for much on the management side. And there are plenty of other officers on paw.”
“I’d imagine it’d look very good for Bunnyburrow if its sheriff was one of the top contenders in the games,” added Jack. “Like you said, that would excuse their lack of staff and equipment. Wouldn’t it Major?”
Friedkin huffed. “I’d have to see it to believe it. This’ll be worse than anything you ever experienced at the academy, Foxtrot. Are you gonna chicken out?”
The games are a problem I’ll have to deal with later. I shrugged and kept the focus on the task at paw. Getting me into the party in the first place.
“It’s the mayor’s call.”
All eyes were back on the mayor as did his best to not squirm in his seat. He was looking a little red in the face as he gave me all his attention. Brown eyes blackened with hate at the choice I had planted for him through careful planning with Jack and Humphrey. Not so fun to be on the other side of a tough decision, is it?
Even if he said no, it was almost worth it just to see him so flustered. And he knew I was exactly to blame for this situation he found himself in. Words he said and things he did had come back to haunt him. I had finally learned to play the game of politics.
The mayor looked like he was about to throw up as he spat out his final answer.
“Fine. Wilde may attend the games.”
Oh, the smug smile on my face as I said. “Cool. Can’t wait for it then.”
I strongly suspected the mayor wanted to strangle me, given the twitch in his left eye. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I was to pay for this later. But, in that moment, I could relax a little. We had claimed our victory. All of us.
“Well,” said Jack, patting me on the shoulder. “Now that that’s settled, I could use some grub. Know any good places, sheriff?”
“I might know a few.”
“I’ll join you boys,” said Humphrey. “Looks like the mayor’s very busy with his guests and I don’t want to disturb him.”
The mayor could say nothing as we all rose to leave him with a zebra and a polar bear to further discuss their concerns with the town. That was a conversation I wanted no part of, given the death glare I was receiving. Though I did stop at the door and held up my signed receipt.
“Oh, and before I forget. Where can I go around to pick up my guitar, Mister Mayor?”
“That was perhaps the best hustle in the history of hustles,” said Jack as he helped load up the amp into Gideon’s truck.
“It wasn’t a hustle,” I reminded him with Josie strapped to my back. “Just playing the game.”
“Well, you played him like an accordion. He looked like he was going to blow a blood vessel.”
“It was very risky,” added Humphrey, who was waiting by her cruiser. “But very satisfying too. I didn’t get to make much fuss when I left the position. It’s nice to get a little revenge on Stu. But I doubt that’ll be the end of it. He can do other things with his power besides keep you from the games, Wilde. You’d better be on alert tomorrow for any signs of trouble. He’ll probably try something else to get back at you.”
I sighed knowingly, as I leaned against the truck and looked up at the stars overhead.
The five of us—me, Humphrey, Jack, Gideon, and Angus—Were parked out in the lot behind the town hall.
Gideon and Angus were waiting patiently in the truck for us to finish loading. Jack would go with Humphrey for further transportation so we weren’t all cramped together as we moved the guitar. Everyone was on a high after successfully completing our little scheme. I felt like I needed a drink though.
It was very easy to convince Humphrey to go along after I explained everything that happened, especially with the guitar being taken away from Judy. There were mother bears who were less protective of their young. She agreed to step in at the exact time I requested to bring the mayor off guard in time for the real attack.
Jack’s role as an escort for the scouting party gave him the influence to encourage the visit to the town hall at the opportune moment. Knowing Friedkin’s unstable nature coupled with the mayor’s tendency to keep appearances, I knew bringing them together with me in the room was going to result in an combustible conversation. Especially if we had just been discussing the party with Humphrey. Throw in some helpful prodding by Jack and the mayor could be put on the defensive.
There were risks to the plan, but they paid off. Helped with friends.
To me, the most important thing was getting Judy’s guitar back and ensuring that it could never be taken away from her again. I had folded the signed receipt and tucked it neatly into my pocket, next to my badge, for safekeeping. I knew I was lucky to have everything go off without a hitch. There were a million things that could have gone wrong, and we weren’t out of the woods yet.
But, I knew for a fact that I couldn’t have done it without the help.
As we wrapped up our tasks, I brushed past Humphrey and gave her a short whisper.
“Hey. Thanks. For everything.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Wilde.”
“I feel like I need to. Sorry...It’s just...I was considering doing something I would have regretted before all this. It’s been awhile since I thought I could trust people. Especially in something this big. And I know what we’re doing isn’t strictly the moral high ground.”
“Wilde, I learned a long time ago that you need to be willing to twist a few arms to do what needs to be done. Especially when it comes to politicians. I meant what I said. It’s unfair what’s happening with your position as sheriff, even with your relationship with Judy. Everything with her was outside work hours, wasn’t it?”
I had done Humphrey the courtesy of informing her that Judy was more than just a friend before we had begun our hustle of the mayor. Though I had spared her the intimate details, I didn’t hide the truth from her either.
“Of course…”
“Then you didn’t do anything wrong, as far as I’m concerned,” she replied with a shrug. “If I had a line graph to show reported crimes in the burrow over the years, it would have flatlined when you showed up. Never underestimate the power of helping just one person, Wilde. I’m not going to hold anything against you for making Judy happy. So long as it’s all her choice.”
I let out a slight chuckle as Josie got more comfortable on my shoulder.
“Although,” Humphrey continued. “There is one thing you did that irks me.”
My tail bristled at the tone of an angry mother. “Yeah?”
“When were you going to tell me you know Jack-freaking-Savage?”
I huffed a silent laugh. “I didn’t realize he was that famous.”
“Are you kidding? The whole state station hears about him all the time from the reports in the city. Not to mention the push to make him the literal poster boy for the ZPD. He didn’t tell you?”
We caught a glance at Jack as he struggled to climb into the pickup truck with the amp in paw. Given how he was fighting to get into the back seat, it was hard to see him as impressive in stature.
I shook my head. “Can’t say he quite grasps his influence. That’s probably for the best though. His ego is big enough as it is.”
“I would still have a word with him about it. It’s getting to the point where even folks outside the city might start to recognize him. Heck, he might be pretty popular at the party tomorrow with crowds around him.”
There was something other than envy in Humphrey’s voice. “...Are you fangirling?”
“What? No!” Humphrey replied, though the blush at her ears told a different story. “I mean, who would want an autograph of Jack Savage, the officer who singlehandedly took down an ex-mobster rhino hitman? Without a stun gun?”
“Well, you’ll have plenty of time to ask him for one on the drive to the Hopps farm then.”
Notes:
I must apologize because I promised to a few of you there would be a Bonus Track this week for Judy's side of things during all this. However, a recent company layoff has left me somewhat lacking in motivation as I figure out what I'm going to do next, and while the extra chapter is written I don't know if I particularly like it how it came out given my present mindset. I'd like to take another week to mull it over some, but I would very much like to share it with you all.
Thank you all so much for reading this story, especially as we charge forward into the climax.
Chapter 32: Track 32: “Satellite”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It was the old, familiar sight of driving to the Hopps farm into the late evening. The sun had long gone down and the fields were empty, leaving a quiet night for the five of us to travel through the darkness. Gideon was keeping silent, leaving me to speak with Angus for conversation. Or attempt to.
“So,” I began. “You want Judy back in the band.”
Angus gazed at me once and nodded.
“That surprised me, actually,” I admitted with Josie in my lap. “Here I thought you and Travis were both against having her come back after her father got involved.”
Angus shook his head.
“Just Travis then?”
He rolled his eyes, causing me to huff a laugh.
“What’s his problem with her, anyway? For real?”
“It’s not so much her,” Gideon chimed in. “Moreso rabbits in general, particularly with Stu. I’m sure you can imagine that different species couples aren’t exactly celebrated this far south. Especially if it's between preds. The rabbits prefer things all very traditional like around here.”
“They didn’t chase you out of the town, did they?”
Angus sighed and shook his head again.
“As I understand it,” continued Gideon. “There was some shady business with Travis’ old job at the library and the mayor. Despite Travis being one of the librarians, he was the only one laid off when budget problems started affecting the town. Angus still works at the bakery with me, but that’s a private business. The library’s owned by the burrow and most of the decisions regarding its status go through town hall. So…”
It was probably the mayor’s doing . Though there was certainly no proof it was his sole decision, the evidence wasn’t looking in his favor.
“Well, that explains Travis’ side of things,” I muttered. “But then why are you keen on letting Judy back in, Angus? I mean, I know she’s not to blame for her father’s bias against you guys. But that still doesn’t change the fact that she’s prey and you’re preds. Why are you helping her?”
Angus stared at me for a moment before glancing down at the guitar with a look of nostalgia in his eyes.
I never did get an answer from him as the pickup truck came to a stop amongst the cornfields.
Humphrey pulled in behind us, looking quite pleased with herself with Jack as her passenger. There was already a slight chill in the air, with September having shown its autumn head. And the sight of the five of us gathered against the cars reminded me of homecoming parties in the parking lot of high school.
“So, how are you going to do this?” Jack asked me.
“Just me?” I replied. “You’re not coming?”
“I don’t really care to meet her yet, Nick, given our past relationship over the phone. Probably not best to complicate things in what should be a simple matter of returning the guitar and convincing her to play at the party. I did this for you, after all.”
“I’m somewhat in agreement,” said Gideon. “I don’t think it’d be a good idea for me to be waltzing into the Hopps household just to scare em. You’re trying to convince her, after all.”
That much was true.
Beyond getting back the guitar from the mayor, I had no idea how Judy was going to react to what we had done. Ultimately, I was going back on a choice she had made, something I had sworn I would never take away from her again. As horrible as the situation was, Judy was the type to commit to it. It was her sacrifice to save my career, after all. How was she going to react if I basically said such an act, however heartfelt and appreciated, wasn’t necessary?
Though I was all smiles around my friends, it was the silence when alone that was the worst of it.
I hadn’t stopped thinking about Judy. It had been less than a week apart, but it felt much longer than that. Especially with my loneliness in the burrows. I knew Judy would be feeling the same way somehow. Our reunion had to be approached delicately and tenderly. And to that end, I had given what I was first going to say to her a great deal of thought.
“I’ll come with you, Wilde,” said Humphrey. “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen Bon. It’d be nice to catch up.”
I nodded in thanks and glanced over to Angus. “What about you, big guy? Could use your help to let Judy know the band isn’t a lost cause for her. Want to back me up?”
Angus just shrugged and huddled into his hoodie, but looked at me as if to say lead the way.
The three of us approached the red door at the end of an unkempt lawn. I recalled a colder night in August where I had done the same, nervous at just who might answer the door when I knocked. The wood was less bloody crimson and more homely maroon than I remembered. And Josie was at my back this time around.
There was the sounds of scampering children at our announcement followed by the locks coming undone. Bonnie answered with a kit no older than two in her arms, and a smile forming at her face when she saw us. Especially when she laid eyes on me.
“Mr. Wilde,” said Bonnie. “I’ve been expecting you.”
“You have?”
“Indeed,” she replied, as she showed us in past her children staring over her hips. “I was warned by my husband that you might be stopping by. He said you were dangerous and should be removed from the premises immediately. I said something colorful and hung up on him.”
I let out a cautious chuckle as we were welcomed into the burrow.
Again, I had come following dinner and the usual clockwork of rabbits were hard at work scrubbing away at dishes from a grand meal. Though a quick glance told me Judy wasn’t amongst the crowd. Her black clothes would have stood out in the orange fall colors of the displays around the house. Though a little early for such decorations, I found them comforting all the same.
“Good to see you again, Olivia,” continued Bonnie. “You too Angus. I hope things are better for you now than they were here.”
“Never a dull moment, Bon,” answered Humphrey. “Things okay with you and Stu?”
“We’ve been having a spat since last week over this guitar business with Judy. I haven’t let him back into the house as punishment. As far as I know, he’s been sleeping in his office or at Hank’s apartment. Haven’t cared to ask.”
I had thought the mayor’s office had smelled a little stuffier than usual when I had visited him. We were guided away from the less crowded halls of the burrow.
“You’re okay with why we’re here then?” I asked, gesturing to Josie on my shoulder. I wanted to make sure we didn’t add more fuel to the fire.
“Mr. Wilde, Judy has been miserable from the moment she was grounded. I know something’s very wrong when she doesn’t even eat the food I bring her. She keeps to her room all day, listening to music. You’re here to bring back her guitar and make her happy again. That’s all I need to know.”
“And what if it creates more friction between you and your husband? I don’t want to cause you any more problems than I already have.”
We were going towards the bedrooms, a quieter portion of the burrows. Though I could still detect a few curious eyes following us at a safe distance. The children were far enough away that they strained to hear their mother’s words.
“You were the one who brought Judy home that night,” she said in almost a whisper. “That night in July when she went with her old boyfriend while he was drunk. You were the one who went out and found her, weren’t you? You got her back home safely.”
The barrage of questions had caught me off guard. “I...I…”
“He was,” Humphrey answered for me. “I was there that night too.”
“Then I have even more a reason to not listen to my husband,” Bonnie finished with a stern nod. “I have eyes and ears, Mr. Wilde. I can see what’s been going on between you two. And I’m fine with it, so long as it makes Judy happy. It feels only fitting that she’d be interested in someone like you.”
I found myself blushing at the ears, earning some stares from everyone. Especially the young bunnies behind us.
“You have been nothing but sincere in your intentions since the moment I met you, Mr. Wilde. I know you’ve only ever wanted to make Judy happy again and you did so at her own pace. Stu, on the other paw, wanted to protect her from harm. No matter the cost. He’s lost something along the way, but I can’t hate him for it. That said, he’ll be lucky to get five words out whenever he wisens up.”
We approached a familiar dark corner of the burrow. The door was left ajar and I could hear the thumping of loud music on the other side.
“Please,” Bonnie finished. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“It should be fine,” I replied, rubbing at my ears in a meager attempt to cool them off. “I just hope she’s willing to try again.”
“She will. I believe in you.”
It was nice to hear that again as we shared a smile.
“We’ll give you two your privacy then,” she continued. “Come on, Olivia. Angus. I can fix you both a cup of carrot tea while we wait.”
It suddenly occurred to me that I was going to have to make the last leg of this night alone. And that Judy was mere meters away from me, even if she didn’t realize it. My feelings of seeing her again were mashed together in a paste of uncertainty. I knew what needed to be said, after all.
Humphrey turned to leave, giving me a wave for luck, while Angus followed her with an affirmative nod. The bunnies that had been tailing us all ducked into their rooms along the hallway, pretending as if we hadn’t seen them.
Bonnie was the last to linger and she continued to give me a warm smile. The kind only a mother knew how to give.
“It will all work out. You’ll see. And remember, you have friends in the burrow, Mr. Wilde.”
“Thanks. I’m starting to realize that too.”
Judy’s room always reminded me of a cave for some dark creature afraid of sunshine. This wasn’t helped by the time of day and no windows in the room. Being underground, windows probably weren’t the most structurally sound decision to compromise the layout of the house. And, apparently, Judy had never heard of turning on the light.
She sat at her bed, absorbed in her computer enough that she didn’t see me creep inside. And I continued to remain in the shadows as the music pounded in her ears through her headphones. It was then the moment became real for me.
It’s funny how you can go over a plan a thousand times in your head. But when the time comes for the moment of truth, you balk and stutter. The last time I had seen Judy, we had been sitting next to each other in the mayor’s office. She defended me against her father. She called me more than just her teacher. More than her friend. Memories of our night together were a blur. But the intimate moments, like us kissing in the parking lot of the police station or holding her cheek, were clear as day and made my knees weak. Time apart from her hadn’t helped in that regard.
I could only stare at her in silence.
It was only a matter of time before Judy noticed me in the shadows. And when she finally did look up from her screen, she found two glowing, green eyes staring at her from the darkness. Who wouldn’t shriek at the sight of that?
The sight of Judy screaming and falling off her bed, with her laptop bouncing on top of her, might have been funny if my stomach wasn’t already churning with discontent. Not to mention, it was probably the worst way to break our days of silence between each other. Unintended or otherwise.
“What the heck is wrong with you!?” Judy shouted, clutching at her chest. “Don’t you know rabbits are susceptible to heart attacks!?”
“Sorry, sorry!”
I moved to help her only for her to shoo me away. Judy was busy catching her breath and glaring daggers at me for scaring her half-to-death. Outside the bedroom, I could hear the sounds of feet scampering up to the door. Judy’s siblings were reacting to her screaming. I could only imagine the thoughts going through their little heads after witnessing a fox enter their sister’s bedroom.
Judy must have realized we were being eavesdropped on too by how she lowered her voice in a hiss.
“What are you even doing here?”
“Your, uh, your mom let me in…”
“ That’s not what I meant, you dumb fox. Why are you in my bedroom? Why aren’t you at work or something? And why…?”
Her voice trailed as the light from her fallen laptop illuminated what was on my shoulder.
“...Why do you have the guitar?”
After spending my night verbally sparring with the mayor, I never would have imagined I’d have a worse time speaking to a teenaged rabbit instead. It was Judy, only Judy, who could make me lose my wit in an instant. Especially with the sad look in her purple eyes as she stared up at me, realizing what I had done.
“Dumb fox,” she softly growled. “Don’t you remember anything? I stopped playing guitar and quit the band so you could join the ZPD. I made my decision.”
“You did,” I admitted.
“Then why would you do this? Don’t you remember my one rule?”
I could repeat it verbatim. “Never force you to do anything after you told me you don’t want to do something. Never take away your choice.”
“Then why are you here with that thing on your back?”
“Because it wasn’t fair,” I replied. “Your father was giving you an impossible decision with no real way for you to win. It wasn’t a choice, it was an ultimatum.”
“Life isn’t fair, dumb fox. He couldn’t keep the guitar over me forever. If you had just controlled yourself and been patient then maybe after the party I could have—”
“Your father was going to sell the guitar before that would ever happen, Carrots.”
Judy tried not to flinch for my claim and turned away from me, looking down at her feet. “How do you know that?”
“Hank told me. Your father was afraid you’d start traveling and ensured you wouldn’t leave the burrows to join a band by selling Josie. He doesn’t want you roaming away from him.”
She grimaced at the claim of her father’s control. Though I guessed this hadn’t been the first time he had tried something like that on her, given her lack of surprise to my statement.
“There’s more,” I continued. “Travis and Angus plan on moving out of state soon. They didn’t want to tell anybody, but this could be their last showing in the tri-burrow area. I don’t know if you’ll ever get another chance to play like this again. So...I couldn’t just stand by.”
Judy winced like I had punched her in the gut. She held her stomach close and looked to the side at nothing in particular. Like she was fighting being sick. She sighed before speaking again.
“So what?”
“So what?” I repeated. “After hearing all that, you still don’t want to play?”
“It’s my choice.”
“But that wasn’t something you really wanted. It was just a terrible ultimatum that your dad is forcing on you.”
“It is what I wanted. Not for me but for you .”
The familiar taste of sand filled my mouth as Judy held her head in her paws. I knew to keep quiet and played with my paws as Judy stood up and paced around the bed, fighting the stomach ache I gave her.
After a few moments to calm herself down, she spoke again.
“I don’t need you to tell me what I do and do not want. I know I want to play guitar. I want it more than anything I’ve wanted in a long time. I love playing. And I didn’t think I’d like being in a band as much as I do. And I’m good at it, I know I am. But…”
Her voice trailed as she looked up at me with pained eyes.
“...But I don’t want all that if it means you lose your chance at being a police officer. My silly dreams aren’t important. I’m not important. You can do so much good for the world with that career compared to what I can do with music. I don’t want to see you throw it all away just for me. I’m not worth it.”
“Carrots…You are important. And you are worth it. More than you know.”
“No, I’m not. I’m just someone who makes trouble for everyone else. Now including you. I’m just...A punk.”
It was like looking into a mirror of myself. No prospects. No self worth. No hope. We had been here before.
“Judy, you are so much more than that. And you mean more to people than you think you do.”
“Yeah, right…”
“I’m serious,” I spoke with rising urgency. “Do you know how I got your guitar back?”
“You didn’t steal it, did you?”
“No,” I replied. “Though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it. I talked him into it. With a little help.”
Judy’s ear perked up and she gave me a quizzical look. “Help?”
“You didn’t think I could convince your dad alone, did you?”
I held out my paws to enunciate my claim, counting out the members of our little team.
“It all started with Jack and his kick to my butt to get me into shape. He made me realize that I was being stupid and that I needed to do something other than fall on my sword with grief. Gideon was the next obvious choice and he was willing to give us a ride to wherever we needed to be. Then I made some calls. Humphrey joined in with no questions asked. Then I tried Angus. Despite the silent treatment he gives me, he’s sitting in this very burrow wanting to see you rejoin the band. Even your mom’s given us her support and approves of me. Through some very intricate planning, and a little luck, everyone's standing together to give me a chance at the games. To give you a chance at the band.”
I held up my fingers for Judy to count.
“And that’s just five people. Five people who think you matter enough that they’re willing to risk something to get you playing again. And they aren’t the only ones either.”
It was at that moment that I remembered what I wanted to tell Judy before our talk even began. The words I wanted to say following our night together.
“...We never got to talk about us,” I said, rubbing the back of my head and glancing away from her. “With all that happened, we never did get the chance to speak. About what our...Thing meant.”
Judy sensed the change in conversation and looked down at her feet. “Yeah…”
The red in Judy’s ears caused me to pause.
I’m not a wordsmith when it comes to romance. And I never have been since failing at it. I’ve always been the guy who laughs when the main character of a movie starts getting all dopey over someone. When someone asks me what I find attractive in a woman, I tend to balk at the question. Knowing you want something and knowing what you want are two different things. And often I found that I couldn’t even begin to describe what caught my interest or why. But with Judy, there was only one thing I could say.
She was beautiful.
Not in the traditional sense. Not in the way that made me want to write a sonnet about her, though I suppose I could talk for hours about her purple eyes. But no. Punk wasn’t what was pretty. Nor was there a lust to be with her. Just an emptiness that only ever got filled when I was next to her. Her earrings were a dull silver. The fashion of her black clothes was ephemeral and fading. Even her dark makeup was something that could come off with water and time. It was her soul that was beautiful, true and eternal. Honest and headstrong, no matter what the world threw at her.
And something about her spirit kept me glued to her side. Something familiar. Something I wanted to protect to prove to the world I knew what love was. She made me want to be better than I was. And she silenced the demons of doubt in my mind.
“...What did you want it to mean?” she asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I shuffled around at the door.
“...Sure, I could go to the party and try for the ZPD. I could get a job and move back to the city. Back to my pack. I could be the first fox of precinct one...But I don’t really want all that if it means you’re giving up your happiness for it.”
Judy clicked her tongue. “You can’t give your life up for my happiness, dumb fox…”
“I’m not.”
I broke the distance between us and approached Judy sitting on the bed. I grabbed both her paws with my own and hoisted her gently up to her feet.
“I wasn’t clear that night,” I said, a nervous smile on my face. “About how I feel. And how I’ve been leading you on while I try to make up my mind. I’ve known for awhile now. But I kept ignoring it. I guess I was just afraid after everything that happened. With trusting you and myself. And then scared what would happen afterwards. You always have a habit of making my smart mouth fail me, whenever I see you.”
I chuckled slightly, knowing I was behaving like a dumb school boy with a crush. But I cleared my throat and faced straight ahead.
“I had this big long speech in my head planned. But I think I just realized now it was all stupid. And it boils down to one important thing anyway.”
We looked into each other’s eyes. Purple met green and mingled together into a colorful mesh of something new and undiscovered. Suddenly, our differences weren’t there anymore.
“I like you, Judy. More than just a friend. And I want to see where this takes us. I want to be with you, if you’ll have me.”
Judy blinked several times.
I recognized her expression from before. The slow reaction of her processing something. Judy wasn’t the type to swoon. So, instead, she pulled just one of her paws away from me and covered her face with it. Though she couldn’t hide the blush at her ears. Nor could I.
“...Dumb fox.”
My flushed ears drooped a little. “It wasn’t that bad of a confession, was it?”
“It’s not that,” she spoke, though she still didn’t release me from her other paw. “It’s just...You can’t just say something like that and expect to get a happy ending. You’re still not paying attention to the real problem right in front of you.”
“Choice,” I answered, putting my free paw to her cheek. “That’s why I’m going to fix that right now. I’m going to give you a real, fair choice.”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t have to play at the party anymore than I have to try and impress the scout. It’s your choice if you want your guitar back and take up performing again. If you say you don’t want to do it then I’ll believe you. I’ll return the guitar, no questions asked, if you tell me to right now. If you can honestly and truly say that you don’t want to keep at making music, I’ll respect your wishes to the letter.”
Josie felt heavy on my shoulder as I continued.
“But, in exchange, if playing guitar is really not what you want to do, then you agree to let me and everyone else who cares for you help find out what does make you happy. I want you to be happy, Judy. I want you to be selfish, for once. And I want to do this together. So, either we both get off the train tracks or neither of us do.”
Judy blinked a few times before huffing a laugh in the way she typically did at one of my stupid jokes. She pulled herself into me and held me close in a warm embrace. My arms found their way around her back.
“Stubborn fox…”
“I’ve been told that’s one of my more endearing traits by Jack. Once I find something worth holding onto.”
For a moment there was the silence of the room, and of the cadence in each other’s arms. I never realized how warm it was to hold someone close to you before. And Judy didn’t make me want to let go. She let out a sigh halfway between content and strained before speaking again.
“Dad willingly let you back into the games?”
“ Willingly is a strong word. It took a little convincing by utilizing the ZPD scout. I have a feeling he won’t keep me on board any longer than the moment they leave town. But, yes. For the sake of the town’s appearance, I’m allowed in the games. Though I suspect he’ll try his hardest to undermine me.”
“What if you fail the tryouts?”
“Then it will suck, but I’ll find another way to get into the ZPD. Maybe they need a janitor or something. Work my way up.”
“Travis is cool with me rejoining the band after my absence?”
“Angus is waiting outside to confirm it. He assured me he’d speak to Travis and cool him down. You can ask him yourself when we’re done here.”
“And what are you going to do after the party when dad fires you for real?”
“Then I suppose I’ll leave the burrows. And...I was hoping you’d still consider coming with me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Come with me to the city. Your dad can’t ever do something like this again if you leave. Mom can find you a temporary job there while you get situated and we can give you a place to stay until you find an apartment. If you want to find your own place, anyway.”
Judy looked up at me with her big purple eyes. The slightest sense of longing to them. She sighed again and buried her face into my chest.
“...This scares me,” she admitted.
“Yeah. Me too.”
She clutched at my shirt from the sides and looked up from my fur, staring straight into my eyes.
“But I want this. More than anything I’ve wanted in a long time. I want to play guitar.”
“Then do it. You don’t even have to ask for my help, you know.”
“I know…”
Judy broke away from me as I removed the straps for the guitar from my shoulder. Her eyes showed fondness like a mother gives her babe when I presented Josie to her. Reunited with the dark child again.
“Don’t lose her this time,” I said. “I don’t have any more acoustics I can sell to afford another one.”
Judy frowned at my comment but accepted the ironwood in her paws. A guitar made just for her. Besides my own red fur, the X on the waist was the only variance of color in the dark of the bedroom. She brushed against the scar before clenching the fret.
“Hold onto this too,” I continued, offering her the signed receipt from her father. “A small assurance from your dad. It’ll keep his mitts off it.”
Judy nodded in thanks before looking down at her gifts. And then to me.
“So...We’re official then?”
I lied about my fur and the guitar being the only color of crimson in the room. My ears were also just as red as the X on Josie at that question.
“Y-Yeah...If you want to be, I mean.”
She thought about it for a moment.
“There’s just one thing I need to do first.”
Judy threw the strap of her guitar over her shoulder and pocketed the receipt before grabbing my paw. She then pulled me to her door before taking a deep breath and opening the way.
After Judy had shrieked upon my entry to her room, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting to find outside her bedroom door.
Staring up at us were no less than sixty pairs of eyes, each brown or purple in color. It was a literal sea of bunny ears running down the hall. Judy’s younger siblings, all lined up to listen in on our conversation. At the end of the corridor, Bonnie, Humphrey and Angus were standing by with mugs in paw. No doubt they were there to see what all the fuss was about. I quickly realized they were looking at Judy and my paw, locked together since we had exited the room. My ears drooped to hide my continued blush. There was no telling what her siblings heard by eavesdropping either.
Judy shot me a glance from the corner of her eye. This is why I hate living in a house with three hundred siblings.
A hushed silence fell over the crowd as Judy prepared to speak.
“Hear anything interesting, guys?”
The kits gave themselves a series of guilty looks, laced with the prospect of considering fleeing from their older sister.
A few of them held their ground and spoke up.
“We heard you screaming.”
“Yeah, after the fox went into your room.”
“Did he bite you?”
Oh, jeez. I could only imagine the thousands of horrible things the mayor had filled into his children’s heads about predators.
Judy wasn’t in the mood for such commentary though by her annoyed huff.
“First of all, he’s not the fox . He has a name. Nick. And he’s my boyfriend.”
The young bunnies shared their surprise with muted expressions to each other. The quiet allowed Judy some momentum to continue.
“And so what if he’s a fox? He’s also twenty six. He lives in Foxburrow. He’s a police officer. He gets on dad’s bad side all the time with his job. And he’s the one who’s been teaching me guitar all summer. Yes, it’s weird for us to be dating. But I don’t care about any of that. He makes me happy and that’s all I need. Are there any other dumb, invasive questions?”
Though her words were directed to her siblings, I detected Judy glancing to her mother in the far corner of the hall. Bonnie wore a slight smile as she looked on at her daughter and me.
“Were you kissing?”
The question came from a small rabbit with red glasses at the front of the horde. She was eyeing me with a paw in her mouth.
“No, Claire,” said Judy, who managed to keep a straight face from the question. “We were not kissing.”
“But are you gonna kiss eventually?”
Judy’s stunned silence opened the floodgate to various other related questions. It felt like the bunny horde was moving in closer to us, with most of them eyeing me. No longer with distrust, but with genuine curiosity.
“I think they mighta kissed already .”
“Is his tail soft?”
“Does he growl?”
“How sharp are his teeth?”
“Enough,” Judy groaned. “You all better not let dad hear any of this or you might give him a heart attack.”
Despite sounding annoyed, her entire family giggled at Judy’s disgruntled commentary. Judy glanced back at me with eyes dulled into a bored expression from the questioning. It felt like she was asking me through an established psychic link if I wanted to add anything to stop the inane inquiries from her eager sisters. I could only rub the back of my head and look away. Don’t look at me, Carrots.
“Look,” Judy continued. “I know it’s weird. And I know you probably have a million questions for us. But can we please not tell dad about this? There’s more I wanted to say anyway.”
Judy tugged at my paw as she pulled me through the crowd of smaller rabbits. They gave their sister a wider berth than me. I could even feel some of them grab at my tail’s fur upon our passing. It distracted me enough that I didn’t realize we were approaching Bonnie, Humphrey, and Angus. Though Judy gave her full attention to her mother, who was stifling a giggle at her children’s reaction to our news.
“Mom,” Judy said, pulling me closer to her side. “Nick’s moving back to the city soon.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Bonnie as she glanced to me, sensing what was coming.
“I want to go live with him when he does.”
Both me and Bonnie held our breaths.
It was a simple enough request, but the weight it carried would make any mother weep. Perhaps not right there, but later when Bonnie was alone. Judy must have known this. But she was right to not keep it hidden from her mom. She deserved to know as soon as possible. Bonnie kept on a brave face with a smile as she responded.
“If that’s what you really want to do, sweetie, then you have my full support. And if there’s anything I can do for you two in the meantime, just let me know.”
“Can we also keep this from dad, for now?” Judy’s ears drooped at the somber tone of her mother’s voice. “I don’t want him to blow up from hearing all this until after the party.”
“Of course, sweetie.”
“Thanks, mom.”
Judy broke away from me just to embrace her mother in a hug. Hopps women were very strong and neither one shed a tear, though I suspected that would come later. And we still had a battle to fight before things came to that.
“Alright,” said Judy, rubbing her nose. “We got some planning to do. Angus, we need to talk about how I can convince Travis to give me a second chance.”
Angus nodded as he sipped at his carrot tea.
“Thanks,” continued Judy. “Where’s Jack and Gideon?”
“They’re waiting at the cars,” I answered. “Gid didn’t want to cause a stir with your family by coming inside. And Jack’s just being Jack.”
“Well, let’s go grab them then. I doubt dad’s just going to let us get away with whatever harebrained scheme you guys plotted. And I know better than anyone how he thinks and what to watch out for at the party.”
I chuckled as the four of us adjourned outside. The night had been kind, but the party still loomed in the distance. And tomorrow was going to be a very long day.
Notes:
Definitely one of the most important songs in the soundtrack.
Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement in these difficult times, I'm slowly working on my resume and keeping busy with a bunch of projects in the meanwhile. Speaking of, I got around to publishing what Judy had been up to during her break from Nick! It's a little late, but if you're interested in seeing a conversation she has with her older sister, you can check it out here with the other Bonus Tracks (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24325792/chapters/65689360)
Keep safe and Happy October (despite missing it last week)!
Chapter 33: Track 33: “Broadcast [Signal] Frequency”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Sometimes you wait so long for something that when the moment arrives, you can’t believe it's really happening.
That was my Sunday morning. September 5th, 2010. Labor Day. The longest day of my life.
Following an eventful evening, I slept in later than usual, waking at around 7 AM to Jack and Gideon cooking up breakfast and trading jokes. Though Jack was the more talkative of the two given I don’t think Gideon quite understood half of the jibs Jack was saying.
“This is an unusual pairing,” I commented as I settled down at my own place at the table with a pawful of granola for substance. “Are you two buddies now or something?”
“Jealous?” asked Jack.
“Of Gideon?” I whispered as we watched the fox burn his fingers by gripping the frying pan. “Can’t say I am. Just surprised to see you branching out like that.”
“We had a few moments to chat last night before you arrived with Judy. He’s an honest guy. A little craven, but I think that comes with being around folks that hated him his whole life. He knows he did wrong and is doing his best to correct it. Wouldn’t be surprised if he went out of his way to majorly help Judy in some way. I can respect that.”
With the day off, Gideon was Judy’s ride to the party. He’d be taking the pickup truck to transport Judy’s guitar and equipment from one side of the farm to the other, where the party was taking place.
We’d leave for the farm at eight. Gideon would drop us off at the party and then go to pick Judy up. That would leave plenty of time to scout around the site and get a feel for the land. Humphrey was going to be on patrol, keeping Hank busy and watching the mayor. Jack would be tailing the ZPD scout and informing us on any changes via text. Angus agreed to speak thoroughly to Travis on the matter of allowing Judy to return to the band all through the night. We could expect to find them at the center stage on the map Humphrey had drawn out for us. Bonnie, in the meantime, offered any distraction she could to keep her husband from interfering to the best of her abilities.
All in all, it was a solid plan going forward and it did enough to take the edge off my concerns for the day. With the extra help from everyone, I just had to focus on the games and Judy had to focus on playing her guitar.
I remained confident in that fact as I dressed up in my usual comfortable clothes for working out. Gym shorts and a ZPD shirt from the academy. A small towel for cleaning myself off. And a water bottle I could carry on my person with ease.
I was ready.
All that was left was to stretch and get moving.
Gideon dropped Jack and I off at the northern fields. It wouldn’t take long for him to get back to us. Maybe fifteen minutes at most. And by then, the party would be more lively. Not that it wasn’t already.
The actual party setup was a far cry from Judy’s birthday in June, enough that I almost didn’t recognize the open field with tents. Instead of angsty teenagers, there were middle-aged, overweight cops in their casual shirts with their families. There were plenty of kids around age six and up running around, and not just rabbits either which was a welcome sight.
The party itself was in a boxed square about two acres wide. Most of what Humphrey had put together was on the cheapside, as would be expected given her limited budget. But there was still a lot of heart to the classic example of a town faire. She had managed to acquire enough tables and tents, donated by some police families, to create makeshift stands with some old party favorites. A dunk tank which amounted to a cheap kiddie pool and a step ladder. A cup stacking booth using red plastic cups. A table with one of the older cops was teaching kids how to make balloon animals. And, most importantly, the stage for the band. Exactly where it had been for the birthday party months ago.
“I’m going to get to work,” said Jack, as we split off in our respective directions. “Keep your ears out for trouble. And eyes on your phone.”
“Will do,” I replied, waving my device in the air.
Even in a party, a fox stood out like a candle in the dark. With my red fur I found myself drawing all sorts of gazes. Especially from the little ones who had never seen a fox before. I kept to myself as I made my way for the stage.
I didn’t realize I was being followed until I felt someone grab my tail.
If you don’t have a tail, having it grabbed suddenly is a sensation akin to someone dropping a cube of ice down your back. All the way to your tailbone. You shiver and freeze, and suddenly everything around you is extremely sensitive. It’s why touching a tail is usually considered a more intimate gesture or a display of power. I had to crane my neck to see who had violated that personal boundary so blatantly out in the open.
“Claire was right,” said a small rabbit boy. “It is soft.”
Hopps. About thirty of them. All younger than ten and each with wide purple or brown eyes staring eagerly at my tail for their turn to grab at it. My base animal instinct was to snatch my tail away from them. But I resisted the knee jerk reaction in favor of a more diplomatic and subtle approach. First step, remove my tail from the equation by turning around and smiling. But be sure not to show my teeth.
“Hey there,” I said, leaning over to appear less intimidating. “Can I help you guys?”
The bunny boy who had been grabbing my tail first looked up with a wide smile. He couldn’t have been older than eight. And he was not threatened by me in the slightest.
“You’re Judy’s boyfriend!”
I bit back a chuckle. I was still unused to hearing that phrase out loud, now that it was true.
“Heh, yeah. My name’s Nick. What’s yours?”
“Martin.”
“Well, Martin, don’t you know it’s rude to grab someone’s tail without their permission?”
“Sorry...”
He drew out the word and looked away from me, clueing me in that he wasn’t really sorry in the slightest. The other children behind him laughed, though I couldn’t tell if it was because their brother had gotten in trouble or because of Martin’s blatant insincerity.
“I don’t mind if you ask,” I said with a sigh. “But first, do you mind telling me why you guys seem to be following me around?”
“We were looking for you!”
“Looking for me? What for?”
“Momma asked us to protect you at the party!”
“Protect me?” I asked with genuine surprise in my voice. “Well, a horde of bunnies can be intimidating, I’ll give you that. Especially if you have half as much moxie as your older sister.”
A part of me wondered if Judy had a paw in this. Though I doubted that much.
This sounded more like a powerplay with Bonnie as a message to her husband. A declaration of spite for his distrust of foxes. If the littlest of his children were hanging around a predator without fear, that only weakened the instilled distrust he had tried to place on them. Not to mention, the mayor would have his paws full if his children were wandering around the party and less time to interfere with our plans.
I had to admire Bonnie’s simple cunning in the matter. And I was only too happy to help get some sly revenge on her husband.
“Alright,” I said, giving the kids a reassuring smile. “Well, if you’re going to protect me, you’d better stay close. Don’t want to lose me in this crowd. Grab hold of my tail and keep behind me. Okay, kids?”
The rest of them were only too eager to join in with Martin. I kept a forced smirk going as my eyes twitched with every strand of hair they pulled at. It was like someone taking a hundred pins and prodding the base of my neck with them, one by one. I led the way towards the stage, looking like a mother duck with my ducklings in tow behind me. The sight earned me a few more stares as the kids giggled at their makeshift leash on me. I tried my best to ignore them to focus on the task at paw.
Travis and Angus had long arrived at the scene and were hard at work setting up their amps and equipment. Humphrey had run wires all over the field to connect to the speakers in the four corners of the square. It was a small miracle that no one had tripped on them yet, though that was what the mats on the ground were for. In the daylight, I could see just how shoddy of a set up the stage was with moth-eaten covers and shaky foundations.
Angus was the first to notice me, with the horde at my heels. While he held a neutral expression, Travis was quite the opposite with his snarl. The two were like salt and pepper shakers.
“Officer Wilde,” his voice held all the same disdain from when we last spoke. “Come to threaten me with rabbits this time?”
“That depends...Would that work?”
“I’m not afraid of children.”
“Well, you see, these aren’t just any children. These are all biomechanically enhanced rabbit androids. Each one is equipped with a high-pitched noise-maker that can make you go deaf in an instant, a 4000 newton bite, and can run at a top speed of two hundred miles an hour. Very dangerous, especially in large numbers.”
“Do people really find you funny or do you talk to hear the sound of your own voice?”
“They’re also all members of the Hopps family.”
At the mere mention of Judy’s last name, Travis’s lips pursed in a deep, slightly nervous, frown.
“Settle down, tough guy. They’re just my bodyguards.” I said, putting on my authoritative tone of voice. “Did Angus speak to you about letting Judy back into the band?”
“He did.”
“And?”
“And my argument still stands,” he replied, crossing his arms and glaring at me. “She left the band, even after we paid her for her help. Our agreement is off.”
Having a bunch of children around me helped me keep a cool head.
I glanced to Angus, who returned my look with a roll of his eyes. Upon closer inspection, I did notice the slightest glimmer of a frown laced with disappointment to the coyote’s lips. He was typically an impregnable mountain of stoicness to Travis’ shrill nature. I guess that conversation did not go as well as he hoped it would.
“You’re really going to say no to these kids?” I asked, gesturing to the crowd around me. “Have a heart. They just want to see their favorite older sister play guitar.”
“You’re never too young to learn disappointment.”
“Come on. You clearly need the help without a guitarist.”
“We’ll make due.”
“Now you’re just being stubborn. Judy is serious about playing with you. She just got caught up in unavoidable circumstances.”
“If that’s true then she can speak for herself. If she’s so interested in rejoining us, where is she?”
That point I had to give Travis. I couldn’t fight all of Judy’s battles on my own and I’d be hard pressed to deny him the chance to speak to her on the matter.
Checking my phone, it had been a mere fifteen minutes since Gideon had dropped us off and left to pick up Judy. I could only hope they hadn’t run into trouble on the way to and from. And Gideon didn’t have a cellphone for me to get in touch with him.
“She’ll be here,” I assured Travis. “I know she will.”
“Until she is, this conversation is over. If she wants the role so badly, she can ask for it herself.”
The kits around me nervously shifted around. At first, I thought they were reacting to Travis and his harsh tone. But then I heard the familiar southern drawl of a certain rabbit.
“Mr. Wilde,” said the mayor. “I believe I warned you about approaching my family.”
My tail bristled as a few kids released it.
Mayor Hopps was looking all the more exhausted that morning with the strain of the party around him. Under the beating sun, he fanned himself with his hat while glaring at me with brown eyes that were starting to look black as coal. And there was a fire burning deep within them. I wagered his disheveled persona had to do with the conversation with the ZPD scout the previous evening.
Humphrey was at his side, looking sprightly in comparison with her blue hoodie and clipboard. She was fulfilling her end of the plan, sticking to the mayor like glue and deterring him from us. But it was hard to ignore the only fox at the party surrounded by thirty of the mayor’s own litter. Though it was not by my will that the Hopps clan was tailing me, I wasn’t about to get them in trouble for it.
“Just looking for some escorts, sir. You should be proud. Your family is fearless and has a firm grip.”
He grunted and addressed his children. “Kids, don’t you remember what I told you about hanging around predators?”
The Hopps clan gave themselves a series of guilty looks and released my tail, one by one. Only Martin had the guts to speak up to his father.
“We’re protecting him though.”
“Protecting him?” the mayor huffed. “Marty, he’s a fox. He doesn’t need protection.”
“But mom told us to!”
“Did she now? Well, we’re going to have to have a talk with her later. Now leave him alone and come with me.”
The Hopps clan grumbled in response and stepped behind their father. I suddenly felt very exposed with no buffer between the mayor and I.
“You’d better be on your best behavior today, Wilde. I may have to let you play in the games. But if I see any chance to eject you from the tournament, don’t think I won’t take it. And I’m not the only one who wants to see that happen either.”
The mayor’s tone was neutral, though simmering with a vague threat. Like a fuse ready to blow at the slightest wind. I lowered my head submissively, not wanting to test my already strained luck.
“Yes, sir.”
The mayor let out a satisfied huff through his nose before turning his attention to Travis next. The ferret stood up straight. Though I recognized the spark of defiance laced in his eyes.
“Mr. Winoski,” he said with a continued voice of thinly veiled contempt. “I see your choice in company continues to remain questionable.”
“Sorry, sir. I was under the impression that Officer Wilde is the town sheriff.”
“ Was the town sheriff,” he emphasized with a sharp whistle from his teeth. “And I also understand you recruited my daughter into your little band.”
“She’s the one who approached us, sir.”
“Regardless, she’s better off not associating herself with you given the tenderness of both your histories. Where did you end up settling down following the layoffs at the library?”
“Catspaw, sir.”
“So far away. Don’t you miss home? Surely there must be some local opportunities.”
“None, sir.”
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Though I might offer you some good news. We’re wrapping up the town budget this year for various public businesses. The library might have need of new employees. I could put in a good word for someone I know is trustworthy and on the side of the town. If you take my meaning.”
Travis furrowed his brow while Angus behind him crossed his arms. The mayor paused for a moment and continued to fan himself with his hat. Despite the cool temperature of the late summer, I was starting to feel a little warm myself.
“I remember favors, Mr. Winoski. Keep that in mind when the time comes.”
“I will, sir.”
“And do mind the company you keep. Enjoy the party. Come on kids.”
I was never happier to see the backside of a bunny before. As the mayor turned around, all thirty of Judy’s siblings followed him away from the center stage. Martin gave me a sad glance and was the last leave, waving goodbye to me before scampering off with his father. Humphrey lingered for a moment, with her clipboard before coming to my side. I had almost forgotten she was standing there.
“What was that about?” she asked.
Behind us, Travis and Angus were sharing a few words with each other, though they were well out of range of my hearing. Humphrey shared in my glances of them.
“The mayor’s counter to last night,” I answered in a whisper. “He’s trying to sabotage the band.”
“Well, not to be the bringer of more bad news, but you might want to get your tail over to the edge of the field soon too. Ursula is gathering the troops in preparation for the games.”
I glanced over to Travis and let out a defeated sigh.
Everything we had done was all for nothing if the ferret didn’t lift his ban off of Judy and let her play. And the thought of getting screamed at by a polar bear for all my shortcomings held mute appeal as a consolation prize. Judy would probably be there any minute, but I was starting to get worried.
I felt cramped, even in the acres wide field. It wasn’t even 9:00 yet and it felt like the party was already in full swing. I could only imagine how crowded it was going to be by noon. The grills would have to get going soon to feed the masses with roasted tofu burgers and corn. Not to mention the guacamole that Hank and I had to put together with various success. The volume of people around me was getting louder and louder.
But not loud enough to cancel out the thoughts I was having.
What if Judy never showed up? What if she did and Travis refused her despite all our assurances? What if the mayor did something worse? What if I tried the games with Friedkin and failed? So many things. So many little things that could go wrong with the day. Maybe this was a mistake.
My clouded vision was interrupted by a bottle of water dangling in my face.
“Drink,” ordered Humphrey. “You look like the sun’s getting to you. And you’ll need to keep hydrated for what Ursula’s got planned. If you want to impress, that is.”
“Thanks,” I said, offering a fake smile in return. “What are you going to be doing?”
“Keeping to the mayor like mud to a pig. He’s been complaining about the heat, so I’ll fetch him plenty of water. That’ll keep him running to the outhouse. Those kids you brought are going to be plenty helpful in keeping him distracted too.”
“You have to thank Bonnie for that actually.”
“I’ll also keep an eye out for Judy. Warn her about what her father’s trying to do.”
Humphrey put a hoof to my shoulder.
“You can still do this, Wilde. Don’t let the mayor scare you off with a few words. I’ve come to learn that he’s more bark than he is bite.”
“I’ll be fine,” I replied.
Though I didn’t know what scared me more. The mayor or the drill sergeant.
“Line up, recruits,” barked Friedkin. “Last one in place earns themselves a hundred push ups.”
Her orders snapped me immediately back into the days at the academy, when I was still young and cocky on what to expect on my first day at the academy. Needless to say, I was the first victim of Friedkin’s torture rounds back then. Though Jack always backed me up, even when he did nothing to earn the extra workout. This time, I was without my arctic hare companion. Jack was standing with Zandor, the scout, off to the side, surveying the lineup like we were stacks of logs ready to be chopped for the fireplace.
I was one of the first to stand at attention, back straight and chest up to fit the posture of a soldier.
An unfortunate hippo from the station in Catspaw wasn’t so lucky in that regard, proving that sometimes bigger wasn’t always better. A lesson I had come to learn well on the training grounds. He was the last in line, and Friedkin held good on her promise.
“I don’t want to see you get up until you can’t swim no more, Bigmouth.”
Friedkin hovered over the hippo for a moment before continuing her patrol down the line. I felt her eyes gloss over me.
“I don’t know what you were told, but we’re doing things differently this year, ladies. No more simple games of volleyball and soccer. No, let’s not put on false smiles here. This year, you’re all here to impress. And for good reason.”
Friedkin paused and turned to Zandor, keeping her paws behind her back as the zebra stepped forward to speak.
“Just this morning, Mayor Lionheart has proposed a new legislation in regards to recruitment for the several public departments, including the ZPD. He calls it the Mammal Inclusion Act. To summarize the movement, public heads are now prompted to give more chances to candidates for positions that would otherwise not be considered. Provided any potential employee can prove competent enough to fulfill such roles.”
The words Jack threw at me during our last texting session burned in my mind.
“Can’t spare the details though. Private matter and all that. You’ll hear about it soon enough though. I promise.”
Whilst keeping my stoic pose, I glanced over to Jack, doing his best to appear professional. Suddenly, his anger at me earlier made a lot more sense. He knew that the chances of me getting into the ZPD were at an all-time high. I could only imagine that the new movement was being kept under wraps to avoid any public naysayers until it was proven successful with a few trial runs.
“The bill is still lobbying amongst the council mammals,” Zandor continued. “But public heads are being encouraged to expand their recruitment to aid in its process and provide examples of what a broader reach can accomplish.”
“That’s why we’re here,” Friedkin summarized. “You ladies are the first class in Lionheart’s crash course for casting a wider net on the city’s police force. Therefore, we have been granted permission to expand the games this year into a more intense evaluation of your abilities. If that doesn’t sound appealing to you, you’re welcome to leave now to join Humphrey in setting up the baseball diamond for your usual scheduled party games. There will be no penalty to your current positions in the tri-burrows for not trying out. But if you stick with me, expect some serious trials. You’ve been warned.”
Most of the older mammals gave tired huffs and abandoned their posts in Friedkin’s lineup. When all was said and done, there were about seven of us still left, including the unfortunate hippo still on the ground huffing and puffing.
Excluding him, there were a pawful of feline state troopers, a cervidae and a beaver officer from Deerbrooke, and, of course, me as the sheriff of Bunnyburrow. Not exactly the variation in demographic that I’m certain the mayor was hoping for. A quick glance told me that most of the other contestants were around my age and in excellent shape, save for the hippo who collapsed on the ground. The poor slob was in his forties, while all the others looked like real competitors for a ZPD position.
Friedkin chuckled at her prospects. “Seven of you, huh? More than I expected. This will not be an easy ride. There’s no way to talk yourself out of this one.”
She fixated at me for a quick moment before continuing her walk around the lineup.
“Still not too late to chicken out, ladies. But if you’re serious, meet me on the road from the northern fields at 10 AM on the dot. We’ll be spreading the word to any latecomers too. Dismissed.”
[You’re not mad at me for not telling you, are you?] Jack asked over texts. [You looked pretty intense back there.]
[No madder than usual,] I replied as I sulked back to the center stage. [I don’t think I’m in any position to complain to you after convincing you to go along with my harebrained scheme involving Judy.]
[True enough.]
[Honesty, I’m more worried about what happened to Judy at this point. If I fail, I fail and I’ll find another way. But this is her last chance with the band before they move away from the burrows. And she still hasn’t shown up yet.]
[I can keep an eye out for her. Zandor’s hanging around the party for a little while before driving to observe the real training session.]
[Driving there, huh? And what exactly can I expect with Friedkin’s obstacle course of horrors?]
[Nothing you can’t handle. I can’t say more than that or Friedkin will note your preparation and you’ll be outed. I’d prepare for a bit of running though.]
I grunted. [Can do.]
My brief absence to join Friedkin’s lineup resulted in the party swelling more in attendees.
Gideon had been gone for well over an hour, and there was still no sign of Judy.
Though there were plenty of rabbits, with the Hopps clan in full effect. I caught a horde of them pulling their father along, while Humphrey stood off to the side managing the stands. Compared to the precise workings of the Hopps home I was used to seeing, this was like observing organized chaos or a machine that had started to run completely out of control. And compared to the fifty or so kids at Judy’s birthday party, the Labor Day celebration was boasting around five hundred different mammals fit into a few acres of fields. And that number was fast growing.
I was beginning to feel like I was in a mosh pit.
Though there was no music yet, I had to dodge around some larger mammals as they tramped around the fields. It was a surprise to see a few larger guests like hippos in a place like Bunnyburrow, where I had gotten used to having everyone shorter than me. Suddenly I had to both watch my step and watch from being stepped on, like I was back in the city again. It was certainly easy to get lost in the crowds and even finding the center stage with the band.
In the time away, Travis and Angus had both set up their respective kits. Travis sat by and stared at me in silence. I turned around and gave him my back to glare at instead. Looks like Angus has had no further luck with this stubborn ferret...
I sighed and leaned against the stage, my cellphone in my paw. I wished that Gideon had enough income to afford one of the things so I might find out where the heck he was. A flash of red caught my eye in the crowd.
“Speak of the devil…” I growled at the universe’s continued twisted sense of timing.
Gideon pushed his way through the crowds well enough, being one of the taller mammals at the party. He had Judy’s amp and other electrical equipment in paw. Judy held Josie at the front.
“Set it down there,” she ordered him, pointing to the top of the stage. “Gently.”
As Gideon passed me, I gave Judy a glance.
Her eager smirk almost made my frown fade away. Almost. One look at me and Judy sensed what was eating at my mind. Her tardiness with Gideon. Though she didn’t have time to elaborate before Travis stepped in behind me.
“It’s about time,” said the ferret, arms crossed.
Judy winced and fiddled with the straps of her guitar as she prepared her excuse.
“Look...Travis, I—”
“Gear up,” he cut her off before she could even apologize for being late. “Angus and I both got our equipment ready. We’re just waiting on you so we can get started.”
Judy and I shared in a dumbfounded, vacant gawk at the ferret as we tried to make sense of his words. I was quicker in my mental processing and put our shared confusion into a concise retort.
“Wait. What?”
“What?” Travis shrugged at me. “She’s here to play, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, she is...But...But the mayor...And you just said—”
“I changed my mind,” he said, staring me down like he was the bigger mammal. “Is that a problem?”
“No,” I replied, paws raised so I didn’t ruin Judy’s surprise chance to rejoin the band. “No. Of course not...Just...I thought this would be more of a fight with you. You know?”
Travis huffed through his snout before facing Judy again.
“Your father’s a real piece of work. Two helpings of bigotry wrapped in a thin layer of greasy politician. Trying to bribe me into kicking you from the band. I still can’t say I like you. But he’s worse. By a wide margin.”
It suddenly clicked in my head. “This is out of spite.”
“Rock bands were built on spite. Aren’t they? Defiance against a society that shuns them with musicians coming together to express themselves and their frustrations of a failing system. That’s what we are. Musicians banding together over our own individual causes. And I can think of no greater representation to honor the spirit of rock and roll than to defy your father’s wishes. Can you?”
That eager smirk found its way back onto Judy’s face, though she did her best to hide it. “No, I guess I can’t.”
“Then quit standing around. We have a show to run.”
Everything seemed to move all at once after the slight pause in the chaos of the party. Gideon had finished placing down Judy’s equipment and he stood by, awaiting orders.
“Come back at the end of the party,” she told him. “Then you’re done.”
Gideon nodded and kept solemn and silent while I gave Judy a questionable look.
I approached her as she fiddled with Josie’s strings to tune them in preparation to get started.
“You two are getting quite chummy with each other,” I commented, watching over her as she worked.
Judy didn’t even give me a glance as she plugged in. “Jealous?”
“That depends. Do you want me to be?”
“Nah. I don’t think the jealous boyfriend is an attractive look for you. Though it is a little flattering to see you get protective.”
“Well, it’s certainly not helped by the fact that you end up disappearing for over an hour.”
I wasn’t angry or jealous with Judy. But I was concerned. Judy had me really worried back there with her absence and leaving me alone at the party. She sensed that fear in my tone of voice, judging by how her ears shot up and went right back down. It was only by sheer luck that things had been running smoothly so far. But how long could they stay like that?
She slowly looked up from her work on the guitar wearing a troubled frown.
“We...Got lost,” she said.
“You got lost,” I repeated the blatant fabrication, blinking a few times. “On your own farm?”
“Yeah.”
She gave me one of those nervous grins that a child gives when they’ve gotten their paw caught in the cookie jar. I couldn’t even begin to fathom what she and Gideon had been doing together for an hour, considering I knew their relationship was still very much on the rocks. But I couldn’t shake an uneasy feeling in my gut.
I rubbed my eyes. “Judy, you know, you had me really worried.”
“You’ve been calling me that a lot more.”
Looking at her, any irritation I might have had faded away like a dying flame. It was in her purple eyes. They caused the words to get caught in my throat as I responded abruptly.
“Calling you what?”
“My name. Judy.”
“Oh,” I replied, suddenly finding myself on the defensive. “Well...Yeah. About that...Carrots doesn’t feel...Appropriate anymore.”
She stared up at me blankly. I realized how stupid that must have sounded.
“I’m sorry,” I continued. “I can stop if you want.”
“You can call me whatever you want. It doesn’t bother me anymore. We’ve done worse together.”
“Right,” I replied, feeling an unexplainable redness to my ears. “Right. I guess that’s a good point…”
Judy let Josie dangle from her from shoulder as she rose from her seat on the stage.
“What’s the matter?” she asked me. “For real.”
“I don’t,” I said before pausing.
I could feel my right ear twitch like the flutter of a butterfly wing. Can’t build a relationship on a foundation of lies.
“...It’s Friedkin and the routine she’s about to run us through.” I admitted.
“She scared you?”
“She tried to,” I shrugged off the memory of the polar bear’s glare. “They made a point on how this event is all serious now and it’s our best chance to make an impression in the ZPD. And it shook me up a bit. And then you being late got me worried. And your dad trying to bribe Travis to keep you out of the band. Him and everything else. It just...Everything suddenly feels so real to me. You know?”
“I know. I’m scared too.”
We looked down at each other. Me, in my gym shorts, about to commit to the most extreme police academy training I had ever experienced. And Judy, with her electric guitar, ready to rock out for eight hours straight in her first gig. We were both in for a very long, very hard day.
But both not ready to turn back yet.
“I’m sorry I got upset,” I said.
“And I’m sorry I worried you,” Judy replied with the most sincere tone I had ever heard her use. “Want me to tell you where I was? It’ll ruin the surprise. But if it will make you feel better…”
I huffed a laugh. “That’s okay. I trust you.”
“Good. You’d better.”
Standing on the stage, Judy was more level with me than she would be on solid ground. She still had to grab the neck of my shirt to bring me in closer to her. You’d think after several kisses already, they’d lose their magic. But her’s were as fresh as the first one she gave me. Like the first time you tasted the bite of snow as a kid.
We broke away from each other before others around the party could notice our quick moment of passion. A bunny kissing a fox in the literal middle of a Bunnyburrow shindig was practically sacrilege, after all. But, at that moment, I didn’t care.
“And you’d better not forget we’re in this together, Nick ,” she growled, showing the same teeth she had just used to nip at me.
I smiled. “You know I won’t, Judy .”
“Good,” she repeated as she sat down to tune her guitar. “You can do this. Okay? You’re stronger than you think you are. And you have what it takes to make it into the ZPD. I know you can. And make sure you come back before the party’s over, dumb fox. I want you to see me play.”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Notes:
Bit of an earlier release today. I'm just excited as we gear up for the games! The next chapter is the longest in the story and will come with a Bonus Track too with Judy's side of things, so I hope you can enjoy it!
Chapter 34: Track 34: “The Rock Show”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
After my kiss with Judy, I was on a high all through the jog across Bunnyburrow. There’s something about doing something that you’re not supposed to can distract you from anything else.
And that’s right. We were jogging a cross Bunnyburrow.
Friedkin thought she was being clever by forcing everyone to run for ten-whole-miles while she tailed behind us in Humphrey’s borrowed state cruiser. I could only imagine how silly the lineup must have looked with all seven of us running along at the side of the road. The three wild cats from the state troopers trail blazed at the front; one black, one white, and one gold. I was behind them, side by side with the deer from Deerbrooke. The deer’s partner, the beaver, was keeping pace with her tail constantly slapping the pavement as she ran. Last was the middle-aged hippo, huffing and puffing a fair distance away from the rest of us. I could hear Friedkin screaming at him to move his fat butt or she’d run him down with her vehicle.
Not that this was a race. I think.
In truth, we weren’t even really told what we were doing. Friedkin just gathered us all up and told us to run in a given direction. And being the lemmings that we were, we obeyed without question. But just because I was lovestruck with Judy on my mind, it didn’t mean I wasn’t paying attention to where we were.
The acres of farm gave way as we ran to the west end of the burrow, with the shadow of trees coming in to block out the rising sun. The temperature of the day was pleasant and perfect for running, with the wind giving us an occasional cool breeze. And there was no humidity at all. It was the chill that reminded me of the area we were fast approaching.
“Into. The. Woods?” I asked out loud between my breaths while running.
Sure enough, a closer look made me realize that we were taking the long way around towards where Judy brought me on our first trip to the woods. With that realization, I picked up my pace and pushed past the deer in the rankings. Breathing out every time my left foot hit the ground.
Less than two hours and we came to a stop, right at the fringe of the forest. The same place Judy had taken me when we went to the cliffs. To my surprise, Jack and Zandor were already waiting for us. As well as a fold out table of water bottles. Jack smirked and approached me with a much needed refreshment as I doubled over to catch my breath.
“Hey, you made it,” he said, offering me the drink. “You passed the ‘Warm Up Round.’”
“‘Warm Up Round’, huh?” I unscrewed the cap and paused before taking a drink. “You didn’t think I could do it, did you? And after I’ve been practicing all summer...”
“I had every faith in you that you could do it. Just a matter if you would do it.”
“I have all the inspiration I need,” I said, finishing the entire water bottle in three gulps. “How is she doing?”
Jack shifted around on his feet, looking reluctant to admit something.
“...She’s pretty good. Knows how to keep her head down, but also knows how to play to keep pace with the others. There’s some subtleties to her performance I’m sure I’m missing and you’d have to hear her for yourself to be the judge of that. People are liking the band a lot though and they’re building an audience while the party goes on.”
“And the mayor?”
“Distracted,” Jack replied. “He’s too busy with his rugrats to give the band much thought. And Humphrey has him being introduced to someone new at the party every time he gets close to the stage.”
“So far so good then,” I muttered before turning my attention back to the woods.
While we had been conversing, the other candidates were resting in their own ways.
A ten mile run was something that tested the endurance and I was surprised to see even the hippo make it, though he had collapsed in the mud. The others were tending to themselves and there was a symphony of ragged breaths in the air.
Friedkin was hovering over the trunk of the state cruiser, digging around for something. Perhaps she was looking for a shovel with the intent to bury those who could not commit to whatever twisted punishment she could conjure. She returned with a large green sack that settled on the dirt with a thud.
“Line up, recruits,” she shouted at the top of her lungs.
I passed Jack my empty bottle and joined the others in a straight single-file. There was the stench of exhaustion in the air with me standing next to all the other candidates. Though everyone was eager to begin the real provings. Friedkin brought six green bags in total, from both the trunk and back seats of the car, though their contents were completely hidden. The bags were quite large too, almost the size of a beanbag chair fit for a bear her size. She presented them before us like they were treasures to be honored.
“We’re gonna have to divvy this up,” she continued, pacing around us and stopping before me. “Foxtrot. Flatfoot. You handle one. The rest of you, pick a bag.”
I reckoned that me and the beaver that Friedkin was referring to were chosen because we were easily the smallest in the lineup. Size wasn’t everything and I had the feeling we were being given a lucky break. Especially as Flatfoot and I approached the first bag to grab it.
“Heavy,” muttered the beaver as she tried to grab at it and unsuccessfully hoist it into the air.
“Lift with your legs,” I replied. “Not with your back.”
Flatfoot wasn’t exaggerating. Each bag weighed, at least, a hundred pounds. Or almost as much as I did, putting that into perspective. And certainly more than Flatfoot herself, who was even shorter than Judy was. Needless to say, even with her help, I was doing most of the heavy lifting.
“This way, recruits.”
Oh, the familiar feeling of getting lost in the woods. While all the other candidates eyed the dark corners of the forest with unease, I was humming a merry tune. Friedkin was leading the way through the thick over bush and I could already smell the scent of the mountain lake. My tail wagged behind me as I quickened my pace through the branches and out onto the small beach.
It was that feeling I imagined one would have when returning to an old family vacation spot. The hidden pond had been untouched since my last visit with Judy nearly a month ago. Though the overgrown trees surrounding the cliffs were taking on a brighter shade of color in a few of their leaves. Looking out over the clear water, I could tell that it was absolutely frigid. Suddenly, I had a hunch of what Friedkin had in mind.
We were the first to arrive due to my quickened pace, with the three cats coming behind Friedkin through the narrow path. Followed by Flatfoot’s deer partner and, of course, the hippo trailing behind. I had to give the older mammal credit for keeping up with the others, who were half his age.
“Hope that little exercise didn’t wear you all out,” Friedkin chimed it, effortlessly hoisting up the bag the hippo had been carrying. “Time for the actual game part of these events. Hope you all don’t mind swimming.”
Both the hippo and Flatfoot perked up at that statement, while the three state trooper cats shuffled in place. I held back a laugh, relating to their unease around water. Friedkin opened her bag and dug around. She produced a yellow, rubber ball around the size of her paw with a number on it. One.
“This is a water weight,” she explained. “We use them at the academy for TUSK training in aquatic-based missions. They’re designed to sink to the bottom and be heavy underwater.”
She tossed the ball without looking into the pond behind her. I watched it land at the bottom of the six feet deep pool before Friedkin produced an orange colored ball next. It was slightly larger than the yellow ball and had the number two printed on it.
“We have three different weights of ascending density,” continued Friedkin as she tossed the orange ball and dug around for the third, red ball. “Heavy, heavier, heaviest. You might also notice the numbers on them. One. Two. Three. Yellow. Orange. Red. We’re going to use a basic point system here. Stay with me.”
She proceeded to dump the entire contents of the bag into the pond. She then turned to each of our six sacks and did the same to the other balls. As they sunk to the bottom, the polar bear then went around the beach, using her foot to mark seven circles in the sand.
“Alright then. Foxtrot. Flatfoot. Goldmountain. Black Cat. Whitestripes. Bigmouth. And Blixen. Everyone pick your own space. That’s going to be your ‘bucket’ for collecting the balls.”
I stepped forward, claiming my own circle with my initials. N.W. The others did the same.
“I’m sure you can put the pieces together,” said Friedkin as we gathered in place. “Three balls for three types of points. The winner is the one with the most points by the end of fifteen minutes. The heavier the ball, the more points they’re worth. One. Two. Three. No stealing from other people’s baskets or you’ll be kicked out of the games right here and now.”
She glanced at me when she said that. I answered her with a shrug. Secretly, I was in too good a mood to hold casual speciesism over Friedkin’s head or let it get me down.
This is exactly like Judy’s training.
Suddenly, I was keenly aware of how big an advantage I had over the other candidates. Judy had mentioned that the woods had been abandoned for years after her accident. It looked like no one had been in the area recently. No new trash or anything to suggest kids had trespassed in that time span. It all meant I had the home field advantage, and a sadistic personal bunny trainer to boot.
The prospect of jumping into a frozen pond had me wagging my tail again, as I stripped out of my T-Shirt and dropped it with my phone onto a safe pile off to the side. The others around me also prepared themselves for a quick dip into the icy abyss. But only I really knew what we were getting ourselves into. And it was hard not to be smug about it.
“Something on your mind, Foxtrot?”
I snapped to attention as I stood at the very edge of the pond.
“No, ma’am. Just eager to go swimming.”
“I wasn’t aware foxes were natural swimmers.”
“Learn something new everyday,” I shot back as I took a pose along the beach to get ready to dive.
Friedkin huffed and readied her stopwatch as the rest of the crew prepared to join me in the first trial. My eyes settled on the yellow orbs beneath the surface while I noticed the cats next to me focusing on the red balls.
Go for the small ones. No sense in struggling over heavier weights underwater.
“Fifteen minutes,” Friedkin reminded all of us as she held up the stopwatch. “Ready or not. Go!”
I never thought swimming would be causing me to pant.
Not out of breath, per say, but more so needing to cool down and resting in the shade. I had never overheated before while swimming either, even though I was starting to shiver from the cool breeze under the shade of the woods. At least Friedkin was kind enough to provide everyone with blue ZPD towels as we laid out to dry following the conclusions of the first challenge.
I had lost.
Well, that wasn’t entirely accurate. I actually came in second place with 31 points, right behind the beaver who managed to slip away with 34. We had both come up with the same strategy, being the smallest mammals in the group. We recognized that attempting to grab the largest balls would waste too much time, so we settled on the yellow one-pointers. That was where I was at a disadvantage.
Flatfoot completely outpaced me in the water, being able to swim twice my speed if given a straight shot. It was all I could do to swipe whatever yellow balls she hadn’t grabbed first and make for the surface. The hippo was also a strong swimmer, but he made the mistake of focusing on the red balls, like the deer and cats. Needless to say, we were ahead of the others by a much wider margin, though I still could have done better.
I was kicking myself while taking a break in the shade. Friedkin gave all of us a few minutes to collect ourselves again, with the water bottles passing around from the cruiser. Jack offered me one as he approached my hiding spot from the rest of the group.
“I didn’t think you were part fish, Nick.”
“I wish I was,” I growled. “I would have had it back there. If I was just a bit faster…”
“Seriously?”
I looked up from my drink. Jack had on disbelieving eyes, like he couldn’t quite understand what he was hearing from me.
“Nick, you almost out-swam a beaver. A beaver . You know, the mammals built for swimming. And you came in second place when the third place runner up was fifteen points behind you. That’s impressive.”
I rolled my eyes. “I could do better. I need to do better.”
“Since when are you a perfectionist?”
A loud buzz cut me off before I could answer him. As Jack pulled out his cellphone, I realized I had left mine with my shirt off to the side. I sighed and turned to my water as he answered. I decided to make a little game of piecing together his conversation to guess who had called him.
“Savage, here.”
“Sorry, he was underwater.”
“He’s finished now.”
“Want me to put him on?”
My first guess was Humphrey and I was proven correct when he passed me the phone. The honey-filled twang of the pig’s voice chirped over the static of the bad connection in the woods. It was a miracle that Jack was able to put anything together with the break up. That wasn’t even including the murmur of the crowd behind her.
“How’s it...Wilde?”
“Uh, pretty good?”
“Ursula kicking you in the…?”
“I mean, it’s hard but...Kind of. Not really.”
Not exactly my most intelligent conversation, but it was proving to be a challenge to even understand Humphrey. Not to mention I still was a bit miffed over my failure in the first challenge. Deciphering scrambled words over the phone was not how I wanted to spend my break time.
“I have someone who...You. Want me to put...On?”
“Uh, yes?”
There was the sound of shuffling in the wind, followed by the fiddling of some paws. But the voice that came through was clear as day.
“Hey, dumb fox.”
I found myself smiling almost immediately. “Hey. Done already?”
“Not even close...On break for lunch...Played like twenty...My fingers are bleeding.”
“You need to use a pick, you know. It’s only going to get harder as the day goes on.”
“Fine...I’ll borrow one from…”
I chuckled. My voice was probably breaking up on her end too, leaving us with nothing more than a guessing game over a distorted phone line.
“How’s the games?”
“You’re not going to believe this, but she has us doing that thing with the rock you had me carry in the lake.”
“...Told you it was legit training.”
“You literally said you made it up on the spot. I remember.”
“I didn’t say that exactly...Should be thanking me...Complaining.”
The line went quiet for a moment. Silent enough that I was afraid the call had cut out. There was a relief in my heart when Judy spoke up again.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I replied, sighing a bit. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just got put against a beaver for swimming. I’m sure you can imagine how that went.”
“Occasional bouts of drowning?”
“You should know that. Foxes aren’t built for swimming. Or running. Or climbing.”
“So, what are...Built for?”
I gave the question some thought before responding with a determined growl.
“Winning.”
“Then win. Win and get back here. Don’t let a stupid beaver get in your way.”
“What about a hippo? Or some bobcats? Or a deer?”
“Whatever. Beat em all. And then get your...back here. You hear me?”
“I hear you.”
“Good. I’ll keep my eyes out for you at the....”
“Count on it. See you soon.”
I was still wearing my smirk when the line went dead, up until I handed the phone back to Jack. That when I noticed he wasn’t looking nearly as amused.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he replied, though his ears were low. “Just realizing that maybe I should be going to her for advice on how to cheer you up.”
“Jack...Come on.”
“I know, man. I’m not going to start being all moody about her. Or jealous. Just...Not used to sharing, you know?”
We sat together for a moment, watching Friedkin get to work unloading the bags of more supplies for the next games. Zander was going around to the other competitors with his clipboard and questioning them. Giving them a brief sociology test, if I had to guess. To get an idea of what they were like beyond the physical.
I estimated we’d only have a few more minutes of rest before marching right back to it. Food wasn’t going to be an option, I wouldn’t get to refuel until we got back to the party. Not that it bothered me. Fasting had been a part of the routine with Judy, on the occasion.
Jack let out a sigh. “I spoke to her before driving here.”
I raised an eye as I finished my drink. “Judy? You mean one on one?”
“Yeah, while you were out on your run. She had a brief break between songs and I pulled her off to the side. I think she expected the worst when she saw me.”
“Small wonder,” I crushed the plastic bottle in my paw into a neat little ball. “What did you even say to her?”
“Apologized for the rocky start. You know, with digging up her background. And then...I dunno. We just talked in general. About stuff.”
“Stuff?” I asked, trying to prompt him to clarify that better.
Jack stared at me long and hard. “And things.”
I shifted around at the rare prospect of Jack actually saying sorry to someone. Was he being serious? Was he really trying to offer Judy an olive branch? I don’t think Judy could even realize how out of character that was for him. Jack broke from looking at me and turned down to his feet. Then he huffed a laugh.
“Things are going to be different, one way or another. When are you gonna tell Marla about her?”
“Provided you haven’t told her already?” I asked with a smirk.
“Hey, now. I know I like to talk, but I’m not pulling the pin on that grenade. Just let me know when you decide to do it. I want to record the fireworks with my phone.”
That was comforting food for thought as Friedkin broke from her car.
“Alright, recruits! We’re moving out!”
I was panting again, deep in the woods. Trees blurring by me as I kept to the roots, low and quiet save for my breathing.
There was the smell. The goal. The flag.
The second challenge sounded like a walk through the woods to the untrained ear, or at least the way Friedkin was phrasing it. She had taken the time to hide a single red flag somewhere in the forest and all we had to do was find it and bring it back to her at the cruiser, near the front of the woods.
The finder would be the winner. Simple enough.
The problem was that the woods expanded on for miles and miles.
It was a cross-country marathon of the worst kind. We had all split up in our different directions, scouring the woods. But I could still hear through and smell the other recruits in the distance. They were mostly sticking to the path around the mountain. The safe and familiar way.
So, what was I doing? Well, I remembered the path Judy had shown me on the trip to the cliff. The narrow passage straight along the mountain. Dangerous but quicker. While the others would have to claw through the thick overgrowth below, I’d take the high road and come out right on top of the flag. And I knew exactly where it was.
Friedkin wasn’t exactly being subtle with its placement, or the challenge wouldn’t even be fair. She left plenty of clues for us to track, from broken branches to a scent leading the way. I was suddenly very thankful for my canine nose, though the sounds of nature all around me were proving distracting. It was like I was returning to my roots as a predator. All my senses had been turned on to their highest setting, especially my smell.
That’s probably why I didn’t have much time to think. All that was on my mind was winning and progressing onwards.
It’s close.
I carefully climbed along the rock face, following the road Judy had shown me a month ago and the lingering scent of polar bear in the air.
“There,” I growled as I stopped at the edge of the ridge.
It was near the gully where Judy had her accident, with all the sharp boulders at the bottom like teeth ready to bite at a moment’s notice. I spied the obnoxious red flag poking out from a few of the rocks, the staff thrust within the crack to support it. And, best of all, no one around to even see it.
Save for the sounds of pebbles crumbling above me.
The ridge I was on had two levels, the lower one which Judy had shown me around the gully and the upper one, which was a sort of old hiking trail. Being so high up, I didn’t even notice it until I heard someone shuffling around the narrow path. Their big shape blocked out the sun peaking over the trees and I quickly recognized a larger mammal struggling to cross the path. The hippo from earlier.
“What is that dumb-dumb doing?” I muttered as I took a moment to observe Bigmouth’s ascent up the mountain.
It was clear to me that he hadn’t even noticed the flag, given how he was going completely in the opposite direction. He wasn’t following anyone either and was all alone. All the more reason to focus on acquiring the flag as quickly and as quietly as I could. I had been keeping my recent pace silent so that the others wouldn’t track me through the shortcuts around the trail. In the middle of the woods, every broken twig was enough to alert everyone within a mile of your location. A lesson the hippo wasn’t heeding.
I shrugged. Just focus on the flag, Nick. Get it and get out.
Before I could begin the climb down the ridge, the cadence of the mountain was broken by the sound of a horrible crack. Followed by screaming.
My tail went all bushy as I remembered the scene from Raiders of the Last Bark, where a boulder boobytrap tumbles after the hero. That was more or less the same sight behind me, as a grey blob of flab came toppling down the upper ridge and straight at me. It took me a moment to realize that the hippo had fallen and was careening down the cliff at a frightening pace.
I did the only reasonable thing I could do and jumped out of the way. Thankfully, Bigmouth slowed on the lower ridge. Though he still continued to roll dangerously close to the ledge.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said, scrambling to my feet. “Stop! Stop!”
Gravity did not heed my commands and the hippo continued to tumble forward until he slipped over the edge. I had a vision of Judy falling from the same ridge, into the sharp rocks below. Perhaps that’s what summoned my strength to pull at Bigmouth’s paw and carry someone who was easily thirty times my bodyweight. Adrenaline is a heck of a stimulant.
“I got you,” I growled, using a nearby tree to catch my footing and give me some support as a lever, letting physics do most of the work.
It slowly dawned to the hippo what danger he was in as he looked down. As the realization set inI could literally smell the fear on him as he began to scramble to help me hoist him from certain doom. Rocks crumbled at his every motion, making a noise that was impossible to not hear from everywhere in the woods. The poor guy still had little to no upper body strength and I was doing most of the support. Together though, we managed to save him from Judy’s same fate.
We collapsed next to each other on the dirt path, both panting and both too tired to move. Between the running and the swimming, I had blown all my reserves on hoisting the hippo’s fat butt and I found myself unable to stand. And my back had a dull pain that was growing like I had ripped a muscle.
Eat your own advice, Nick…
Bigmouth was sucking down more air than a diesel semi-truck, and the stench he was wearing was certainly comparable. He had to lean over to get a look at me and spoke through deep breaths.
“Thanks. You. Saved. My life.”
I was panting as well when I spoke. “Well. That’s what. They do. At the ZPD. Right?”
The hippo let out a strained laugh. “Starting to think. That I’m not cut out. For precinct one.”
I didn’t respond to him and collected my strength. With all the noise we had been making, I had a bad feeling, given something changing in the air. It took a few moments to regain my composure and make sure that I hadn’t thrown out my back hoisting the three thousand pound hippo off the ridge. It was like a thousand fire ants biting at my spine as I sat up and peered over the edge.
“Well. So, much for winning the challenge…”
As I had feared, our noise had drawn the wrong kind of attention and the cat trio were closing in on the flag for their own victory. I could only sit back and watch as they scoured the lower ridge below and claimed the flag.
Bigmouth rose from his rest and noticed what I was staring at.
“Sorry. I cost you the round.”
I sighed but gave an indifferent shrug before collecting myself and wearing my mask. A friendly smile.
“Hey, it’s fine. At least you didn’t end up like the last rabbit who took a tumble down the cliffs. Trust me, the world has enough angst as it is.”
Bigmouth raised an eye, no doubt unfamiliar with whom I was referring to. The silent stare was fast growing awkward.
“We should probably head back given the round’s going to be over. Can you walk?”
He winced and looked down at his feet. “Sprained an ankle. That’s what caused me to fall in the first place. Should have been watching where I was stepping.”
“You’ll be fine,” I assured him as I took a look at his foot. It was a little swollen, but he was moving it just fine for it to not be broken. “I’ll find you a branch for a crutch and help you walk down out of the woods.”
“A cane for the old man?” the hippo asked with a chuckle. “Just as well. I thought I’d try my luck but I can’t keep up with you kids. I think if there was a sign to quit, this would be it.”
It was hard not to disagree with him, given the bad leg.
With a stretch, I stood up, trying to undo the knot that was my back. That was certainly going to be a dull pain that would stick with me for the rest of the day, and probably the rest of the week. I put that thought from my mind and got to work finding a suitable stick that could support a hippo’s weight. I settled on a thick branch from a nearby dead oak tree.
“Much obliged,” said Bigmouth as I helped him to his feet. “Gotta say, you’re a good guy, mister…?”
“Wilde,” I replied with a smile. “Nick Wilde.”
“Well, thanks, Wilde. I’ll have to keep this in mind and make it up to you, somehow. You’re a good fella. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
The round was given to the state trooper cat trio, as I expected. The three of them had formed their own little pack to take the victory, making Friedkin seriously reconsider her future games to not give the option for team based cooperation so that it was unfair to the rest of us. Not that I cared. I would have lost regardless if they had worked together or not.
I made sure that Bigmouth was given proper care for his leg, taking him straight to Friedkin who knew enough first aid to bandage him up in a splint before sending him off with Jack back to the party.
We were on break again, waiting to hear what the next challenge would be.
I downed my fifth water bottle that day, though I was still feeling on the verge of dehydration. I had another bottle at my spine, letting it serve as a makeshift ice pack for my pulled back, though it was a poor substitute.
With the hippo gone, my competition didn’t feel quite as large, though the bobcats were flaunting their victory in one corner of the clearing. Flatfoot and her deer partner kept to their own corner, near the water bottles to cool off. I almost didn’t sense Zander approach me until he was standing right next to me.
“Officer Wilde?” he said, not even looking up from his clipboard. “A moment of your time?”
Here we go… I put on the biggest, fakest smile I could muster.
“Certainly, sir. How can I help you?”
“By answering a few questions. Truthfully and concisely, if you could. We’re on a time limit.”
I briefly wondered if the ‘truthfully’ tidbit was a comment on me being a fox, though I didn’t break my mask. “Sure, fire away.”
Zandor sorted through his clipboard, flipping up some paper with his hoof before settling on what I assumed was my professional record.
“This is your first assignment, since June 8th of this year.”
“That’s correct.”
“I was recently informed that your resignation was forwarded to ZPD by Mayor Stewart Hopps as of last week. Can you elaborate on this?”
Jumping right into it, are we? It didn’t surprise me that the mayor would mention my resignation eventually.
“I’ll do my best,” I replied, having already spent considerable time building my side of the story to the layoff. “I suppose it started on my first night here, where I encountered one of the mayor’s daughters, Judy Hopps, spray painting public property and took her in for questioning. The mayor...Was not cooperative with my actions.”
Zandor scribbled away into his clipboard as I spoke. He noted my pause and looked up. “Continue.”
Though his tone was not judgmental, I couldn’t help but feel like I was being processed. I had planned for my tale to be something relatable for another person. Zandor was more like a computer. All work and no emotion.
“I was warned by the mayor not to approach his daughter or family again, despite her extensive record. I heeded that request until the night of July 2nd.”
“I have that report right here,” Zandor replied, prodding some paper with his hoof. “You were involved in responding to a traffic accident off of Route 6 and the interstate.”
“Correct. I was the first at the scene.”
“The report was filled out by Trooper Olivia Humphrey, though she makes special mention of your efforts in finding Judy Hopps and quote ‘talking to her and making sure she was alright’ unquote.”
The zebra’s cold blue eyes demanded me to expand on that detail. I kept myself from groaning.
“Yes. The situation was rather...Complex. Judy had been in a bad breakup with her boyfriend, the offender of the crash. She was left at the Bunnyburrow train station and wasn’t involved in the scene. I was sent out to search for her. When I found her, she was...In distress. I had to talk to her. I couldn’t just force her from the train tracks, not given the situation. So, we talked. I convinced her to come with me to the Bunnyburrow station, where she stayed overnight. It was against her father’s wishes, but she had no interest in returning to her home given her emotional distress. And I couldn’t let her wander around given the circumstances.”
“So,” Zandor interrupted. “Despite your repeated warnings from Mayor Hopps, you disobeyed his orders to harbor Judy Hopps in her compromised mental state?”
Talking like that made it sound so clinical. “Yes, sir.”
“This was in early July. Your terms of resignation were submitted as of August 29th.”
“Correct, sir.”
“Were there more encounters with Judy Hopps following this incident?”
I winced. “There were more off duty encounters with her, yes. In my freetime, I taught her guitar and became friends.”
“Which led to your expulsion?”
“Yes, sir.”
It felt like Zandor was signing me my death warrant with how he scribbled away at his notes of me. By claiming my relationship with Judy was off duty—which it was—it prevented the zebra from prying into my personal life. Though I suspected I wasn’t being vague enough that he couldn’t put the pieces together. And this line of questioning reeked of the mayor’s involvement in some way.
Not that he had the time to dig more at me.
“Alright, recruits,” Friedkin shouted in the distance after blowing her whistle. “Line up! Round three is about to begin.”
I looked at Zandor, who was finishing up his writing. He wouldn’t even give me a glance.
“Go on, Officer Wilde. We can discuss this more in depth later.”
The games got no easier, especially with my thrown out back. But I wasn’t the only one suffering.
The competition was dropping like flies. First with one of the cats, the black one, who gave up around the time Friedkin had us climbing across logs over the ridges in the mountains. He had a fear of heights, I guessed. Next was the deer from Podunk. He hadn’t been keeping up with his water drinking and nearly passed out from a heat stroke, putting him out of the games.
Despite my lower competition, I claimed no victories.
I was always in second place and it felt like no matter what I did, there was another mammal just a little bit better than me. I always came close. In the sprints, I came within milliseconds of matching the time of the yellow mountain lioness. But it was always just one hair away, even when I pushed myself to the absolute limits. And no one ever cared about who came in second place.
On the breaks, I kept to myself. With Jack gone and Judy playing, there wasn’t anyone I wanted to talk to It was 4 PM when the final challenge was announced.
“Four of you left,” Friedkin said, marching down our shrunken lineup. “Good job on lasting for this long. That’s an accomplishment in itself and what you can expect in Precinct One.”
Her words tasted like salt and sarcasm.
It was challenging to keep my back straight when all I wanted to do was collapse on the ground. But I kept in line with the other beaten officers. Had I been paying attention, I would have noticed that I had been the better off of the rest of the crew, with the others groaning from their own bumps and bruises.
Friedkin had brought us to the very fringe of the forest, a fair deal away from where we first entered the woods. There were a few trees around us and I couldn’t help but feel like I had been there before. Though the way forward was blocked by a large patch of shrubs, which Friedkin stood in front of.
“I did some digging while here yesterday while on inspection,” she continued to speak while pacing. “A little backstory on your last challenge before you’re thrown to the flames. It turns out these woods used to be a hotspot for curious young kits. Local attractions start to have their own urban legends.”
Let me guess...Because of course we would end on this.
“I hope you don’t mind climbing trees. Because I have it on good record from the locals that this forty foot hunk of wood has never been fully scaled by anyone. Many have tried, but they all chickened out. You’re going to succeed where they failed.”
Friedkin stuck her paws through the bushes and pulled them back to reveal what I expected. Old Hickory, looking as tall and grim as ever.
“This is a battle against yourselves,” she warned us. “How high can you go? That’s what we’re looking to see here.”
“Is that thing even safe?” asked the white tiger. “It looks like it could fall over at any moment.”
“Don’t like it, don’t try it,” Friedkin replied without even thinking about her retort. “No one is forcing you to climb, Whitestripes. If you want to chicken out and walk, go right ahead.”
That quieted the rest of them.
Friedkin huffed as she pulled out four different cans of spray paint from her pocket. Markers for our climb. She then turned to us again.
I snorted at the sight of the paint, earning me a glance from Friedkin. I guess police officers support vandalism these days.
“No one said being a part of the ZPD would be easy,” Friedkin continued. “You think you’re going to play it safe all day in an office earning a nice fat city paycheck? Some of the most dangerous criminals in the world make their home in Zootopia. Officers put their lives on the line everyday, having to put themselves into dangerous situations all the time. A fall from that height, even at the top, won’t kill any of you. This is a test of your resolve and willpower, more than anything else. How high can you aim for?”
I let out a low grunt, having heard this speech before from Judy. And, in all honesty, she did it better.
“So,” said Friedkin. “Who wants to go first?”
The other three shifted uneasily in place as Old Hickory swayed in the breeze with a low creak. Or maybe the sound from the tree was my imagination.
“Anyone? Anyone at all? Or are you all just going to turn tail and run?”
No one was eager to reply to her. I knew what was going to come next. She’d start finding volunteers.
“How about you, Whitestripes?” Friedkin asked the tiger. “You seem to be the most vocal of the bunch.”
The poor feline looked like he was about to soil himself. But with all the attention on him, he couldn’t back away either. One way or another, we all were going to go up Old Hickory. He just didn’t want to be first. Not that I could blame him.
To back out there would have meant a forfeit though, and we stood back as the tiger started to climb the tree. He didn’t get more than ten feet up the trunk before something snapped under his weight and he slid down the alpine using his claws in a spastic panic. I couldn’t help but wince as Friedkin grabbed at the tiger’s tail and squeezed.
“Quit fooling around and get your tuchus up there, Whitestripes.”
“I...I can’t,” muttered the tiger as he held onto the tree for dear life, despite being a mere foot off the ground. It would have been funny if it wasn’t so sad to watch.
“Pathetic,” growled Friedkin. “Someone like you wants to be in the ZPD? A cat that can’t even climb? What a joke. You should just crawl back to your comfy post in the burrows, you country bumpkin.”
There it was. The mouth that had skewered a thousand optimistic ships in the academy. I had to turn away as I listened to Friedkin continue to berate the poor cat.
“You think that you deserve a spot in Precinct One? You? If you can’t even do something as simple as climb that tree, you’re never gonna be worth squat in our eyes. Mammals die on duty all the time. I’ve lost friends there. And you sit there whining about how hard a time you’re having. Like you deserve some special treatment or something. Why, I doubt you’re even good enough to be an officer for a worthless, backwater, podunk, town.”
“Major,” I growled. “Enough.”
Silence would have been preferable. Silence would have been smarter. If I had just remained quiet, I’d be able to pass on by without being noticed. But something in me couldn’t keep quiet. Friedkin looked at me like I was a bug. She was so much bigger than me. She could flatten me like a pancake and think nothing of it. But instead of physical violence, she used her mouth to threaten me.
“Have something to say, Foxtrot?”
I sighed. She was looking at me like she was expecting I’d go off the rails at her. But I calmed myself after a deep breath.
“You proved your point. The poor guy doesn’t have any fight in him. You’re just senselessly beating on him for no reason. You’re not encouraging him. You’re terrifying him. We’re going to need a pry bar to get him unstuck off the tree now.”
No one dared laugh at my dumb joke, making it only that much more awkward. Friedkin huffed and loomed over me.
“Are you saying you want to trade places with him, Foxtrot?”
“If it keeps you from castigating him further, then I’d be happy to.”
Friedkin kept a neutral expression, arms crossed as I walked her and grabbed one of the spray paint cans and stepped up to the tree. Whitestripes gave a sigh of relief as I prepared to trade places with him.
“Thank you,” he whispered, though he couldn’t look me in the eye.
I just nodded in response, breathing to prepare myself to start the climb and stretching the cranks out of my back. My aches were distractions. But, deep down, I knew the truth.
This didn’t matter.
Even if I ended up reaching the top and won this final game, the points were stacked against me. Everyone else in the games had two or three wins to their name, while I sat on zero. One win would never be enough to impress Zandor, who had been watching my outburst with Friedkin from the side and would make note of it.
But it would be my win. On my terms. And that mattered more to me than anything else in the world.
With the black spray paint in paw, I stepped up to the bark of Old Hickory to begin my ascent.
No one’s ever seen the top of Old Hickory. That’s what people claim.
I still hear from Humphrey now and again about the urban legends kids still tell about the tree. Things that are cemented throughout the course of history. Little rumors she picks up while at her office in the tri-burrows.
Everyone thinks the black X at the very top of the tree is from a lightning strike that hit Old Hickory during a summer storm in 2010. Or that it’s a random scorch mark from being too close to the sun, if that’s more believable. I’d almost buy the stories about the infamous Hairless Mammal living in those woods, which probably have more truth in them.
But no one ever suspects it to be paint. No one ever believes anyone has ever reached the peak. Much easier to believe it just showed up one day when no one was around.
I’m not one to correct rumors though. Let people think what they want. That’s what I say. Fabrications are more amusing than the truth, anyway.
Notes:
Whew. There it is. That was the longest chapter in the story, and quite the read I imagine. We're getting so close to the end!
Oh, and if you wanted to find out how Judy and Jack's conversation went exactly, you can read it here (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24325792/chapters/66347449).
Chapter 35: Track 35: “All the Small Things”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Mouthing off to Friedkin, huh?” Jack asked as he drove us back to the party. “Classic.”
In many ways, Jack was like a peanut butter cup. Everyone, who was not allergic, loved peanut butter cups. But that was in small doses. If you had too many of them, you’d end up sick of them.
I was leaning out the window of Jack’s borrowed police cruiser. The state troopers had been so kind as to loan several vehicles for transporting us recruits from the woods. Jack was a part of the team of chauffeurs ferrying us to the party, winding down with the coming evening. It was getting dark out, with the smell of barbecue pits in the distance. Even a mile away, I could pick up the lingering scent of grilled corn and fried beetles for the predators. Despite having not eaten since breakfast, I wasn’t hungry in the slightest.
I detected Jack staring at me out of the corner of his eye. I really wished he would just keep his eyes on the road. His driving was bad enough as it was.
“What’s with the puss? You did real good, Nick. Even climbed the tree when no one else bothered to make an attempt. Scared ‘em silly seeing you dangling up there. That’s what I heard, anyway.”
I sighed out something deep and rotten in my chest.
“I had one win, Jack. Just one. The whole day.”
“But it was a big win. No one else even tried. Trust me, that sends a good message. And I heard you came in second in all the other games. That’s something to be proud of.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You’ve been in first place all your life.”
Even I realized how spiteful those words sounded the moment I said them. Both our ears drooped as I kicked myself for my sharp mouth.
“Sorry,” I said with as much sincerity as I could muster. “That was uncalled for.”
“...Did it not go well when I wasn’t around?”
“Not really,” I replied, looking down at myself. “I just...I don’t know. I don’t think I left much of an impression. And then I lost my cool with Friedkin. Not to mention Zandor asked about Judy.”
“So, that’s why you’re moody…”
I gave that quip to him, given the angry words I had just thrown at him. Though I didn’t appreciate Jack referring to Judy as my blindspot. Or considering her my weakness.
“So,” Jack continued. “What did you tell him about her?”
“The truth. How we met and the grumbling from the mayor about me interacting with her. I didn’t go into details about what happened outside my working hours, but I think he got the picture.”
“It’s good you were honest. Fraternization isn’t very professional, so I hear. But that shouldn’t matter for their decisions given it's your personal life. It could be worse. She could be your partner or deputy. That’d give the pencil pushers in the city something to scurry about.”
“It’s just,” I said, finding it easier to talk about this stuff after I had already spoken to Judy in length about it. “I don’t know. I’m tired of failing all the time. And I thought this would be different. That I’d go in like some big hero and win all the medals. I worked hard enough for it. Or I thought I did.”
“Who said you failed?”
“I just get the feeling that I did. There were no congratulations at the end. No satisfaction of a job well done. Zandor just told all of us that he’d contact us in the next few days if they made a decision or not. It was all very soulless. Not at all like the movies.”
Jack shrugged. “Zandor’s always been like that. The guy spends more time on his computer than he does reality. Doesn’t even go to any of the outings after work with the rest of the precinct. Don’t let his indifference bother you, Nick.”
We were nearing the party, with the sounds of the band playing growing loud enough for my ears to pick up the song. Another classic. Carry on My Wayward Sloth. It was a small comfort to know that Judy was still playing. I could hear her guitar in the mix.
I stared out into the endless fields of stalks, blowing in the wind like waves of the ocean. It was like what I imagined staring out into a sunset on the beach would look like. Though the chill in the air was a grim reminder that summer was a week away from ending. The green in the many trees around the burrow would be vanishing soon. And the days would get darker.
“You did your best,” Jack said, as he pulled into the dirt road leading to the field. “And for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you and all that you’ve done this summer. You’re a lot different than the fox that I said goodbye to on the train ride in June.”
“I guess,” I replied, correcting my tone so I could appear grateful. “Thanks, Jack.”
“Now, let’s get some grub,” he said, opening the door before even putting the cruiser into park. “Before predators aren’t the only ones to eat meat.”
“You know I’m a vegetarian, man.”
There wasn’t much in the way left at the grill for food. Most of the good stuff had been taken by the early birds. There were some meals left. Grilled cheese crickets and some rare red snapper for the preds. I turned my nose up at those options, settling for an old barbecue favorite of mine. Buttered corn on the cob. Jack left my side to go searching for any teriyaki carrots remaining.
I figured after one of the most intense workouts of my life, I deserved something to treat myself. I took a bite and made my way to the center stage. The butter tasted sour in my mouth. After months eating nothing but health food every day, to suddenly have some of the worst junk imaginable for me was too jarring for my body. I wasn’t used to it and gagged slightly after the first bite.
At least there was good music to keep me company.
With the events winding down, the band was quickly becoming the most popular thing to watch at the party. They had a crowd of easily a hundred people cheering them on as they winded down for the night. Travis wasn’t nearly as bad on the vocals as I thought he would be, though I sensed some weariness in his tone. Angus kept everyone in pace with his drumming, keeping quiet and in the background enough that you almost forgot he was there. But he was the glue keeping it all together.
My focus was on Judy.
She kept to the back, even standing behind Angus so that no one would notice her. She had borrowed a state trooper hoodie from Humphrey that looked oversized on her to keep from the chill. It was her black jeans which made her stand out to me. That and Joise, which was kept proudly on display with the red X glaring, even in the coming dusk.
I was enchanted by her music. To know where she had come from and seeing her now…
There was an old saying amongst performers that went like this: Who you were on stage was completely different from the person who you were around people. On the stage, exposed to all the world to see, you had less of a filter. There was less in the way of the real you. Actors wore their masks and told their lies. But musicians had their hearts on their sleeves and showed you who they really were. What didn’t come through in her appearance was amplified in the way she played on Josie. And there was no more beautiful sound.
I had always liked the sound a guitar made. How the twang of the strings vibrated in the air to create a harmonious cadence, with the right combination with your paws. That was one of the reasons I had stuck with an acoustic for my first guitar. I thought I loved the natural feeling of wood meeting wire and how it felt when my fingers touched the strings. But I didn’t really know what loving music was until I watched Judy play.
I lost track of time watching the trio finish up their lineup, playing old rock songs which would appeal to the older generation crowd and be pleasing enough to the ears of the little kids still standing around to watch. There was an applause between every break, encouraging them to keep it going. It was fully dark for the final encore, with Humphrey having gone around the party with tiki torches to give everyone without enhanced vision some clarity.
I listened to Travis thank everyone for coming to see them while the others packed up. Show’s over, folks. Time to go home.
I had been so absorbed in the music that I hadn’t even noticed Jack creep to my side, having finally found his carrot.
“Folks seem to like them.”
“Yeah,” I replied, noticing that the crowd was being slow to clear out. “I knew they’d be good.”
“Worth it?”
I looked at Judy and could see her smile, even from underneath her hood.
“Worth it.”
I had the mind to approach the stage and help her pack up. Folks were starting to sense that the entertainment was done, and many were starting to leave for the night. But I stopped in place when I noticed another fox come up to Judy instead.
I squinted to recognize Gideon converging with her at the very foot of the stage. He had in his paws a large plastic box with scuffs and wear. A guitar case that had seen a lot of love. The color was a familiar shade of grey.
Come back at the end of the party. Then you’re done.
Judy set Josie carefully down on the stage before accepting Gideon’s gift by mouthing a thanks. With the case in paw, she scanned around the crowds. I must have stood out like a fire in the night with my red fur. She waved to me, acknowledging my presence. And I waved back.
Want me to tell you where I was? It’ll ruin the surprise.
For a moment, there were just the two of us at the party. No one else around the stage mattered. Not even Jack at my side. Everyone assumed the party was over. Judy took that lull in the audience to move into centerstage. There was no spotlight on her. Humphrey couldn’t afford that kind of equipment. The stars coming out in the night would have to suffice. And when she smiled at me, her teeth shined in the dark.
Judy opened the case to reveal an acoustic guitar. It was cracked at the bottom and too big for her.
It was my guitar. I’d know it anywhere.
Judy strapped in with a pick in paw. And she played me the sweetest sound I ever heard. A few practice chords to get back into the groove, returning home to an acoustic after taking a vacation with an electric. But the notes were becoming familiar. Like a memory I had long since forgotten, or a ghost of a friend coming back to me.
It took me longer than I cared to admit to recognize the music.
It was a song I had written. And not just any song. The song. The first one I had ever played for her on that night in July. Judy had remembered it, even after all this time. Despite only ever hearing it once. She could play it perfectly, like she had been practicing it a thousand times. Or for hours in private.
My song. My guitar. My girlfriend.
And Gideon was right. She did sing like an angel.
(Trainyard Paint Spray)
They say
Every good song opens up with a question
A hard-to-swallow fact or a thoughtful suggestion
So
I guess, what I’m trying to ask is
Why’s yours so hard to unmask?
See
I’ve been sitting on this couch, like I’ve been waitin’ for the truth
And
To see my feelings for you doesn’t take a super sleuth
Oh
The words drive me insane
Like ice cream to the brain
So
Comeon, sit down and just hold me close
Now
Play those movies we both know the most
And
Listen to the shouts, tears, and the laughter
Our summer’s running short
But I’m thinkin’ ‘bout the hereafter
Yeah
And there’s only one thing I can say I knew
Oh
I’ve been sitting on these tracks for what seems like forever
Mulling over what’s feelin’ like a hopeless endeavor
With smoke butt tombstones in the sand
And a paint can in my hand
So
While you’re climbing trees and you’re running your miles
I’ve been watching you, hiding my smirks and smiles
Woah
Pretending it’s something we both can’t see
And, for now, that’s enough for me
So
Comeon, sit down and just hold me close
Now
Play those movies we both know the most
And
Listen to the shouts, tears, and the laughter
Our summer’s running short
But I’m thinkin’ ‘bout the hereafter
So
There’s one thing I can say I knew
Well
The sun’s coming up, the slumber party’s ending
And
I haven’t put together the message that I’ve been sending
So
I guess there’s only thing left to say
Spin the words with a trainyard paint spray
Comeon, sit down and just hold me close
Play those movies we both love the most
Listen to our shouts, our tears, and our laughter
Our summer’s running short
And I’m looking forward to the hereafter
Cause I know no one else would see this through
So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you
Thank you
Lyrics. My song had lyrics. Words to call its own and give it meaning. And there was no more beautiful melody for my ears.
That was the first time I had ever heard Judy sing. And it was melodious and soulful.
It was mine.
I couldn’t think of how or why Judy was standing there on stage with my guitar. But the logic behind it didn’t matter. We both shared the same expression of ecstasy and looked right at each other, with me in the crowd.
I was so enraptured that I almost didn’t notice that the rabbit next to me wasn’t Jack.
“Well now,” said a familiar southern drawl. “That really is a lovely voice.”
Such a sour speech following something so wonderful was practically sacrilege. But it wasn’t my place to call out Hank, standing in my shadow. To say I was happy to see my deputy would be lying. I hadn’t seen him in days, something that Hank took note of.
“What’s that look for, Nick? You got what you wanted in the end. Isn’t that everything you could hope?”
I ignored the question. “What are you doing here, Hank?”
“Finally taking my break. Humphrey has had me working to the bone all day. Your doing, I suppose? And I’m going to guess that the rabbit standing next to you is Officer Savage, your friend from the city? Pleased to meet you, son.”
Behind me, Jack let out an irritated huff. A quick glance behind showed me his narrow, focused eyes. He looked up at me. Want me to step in?
I shook my head. No.
“Settle down, boys,” said Hank, as if he sensed our internal conversation. “I’m not here to fight. I’m actually rather impressed with you, Nick. You managed to outplay Stu with that little trick you pulled last night. He’s been right mad with you about that one.”
“So, you’re here to congratulate me?”
Hank just chuckled.
“If it bothers you that much, I can stop. I just figured I’d let you know that Stu is no longer at the party. I managed to convince him to go to his office and catch a nap. Lord knows he needs one. He’s been looking dreadful for days.”
I raised an eye, now not sure whose side the deputy was on if he was revealing that information to me.
“Also, I took the liberty of escorting all the Hopps kids back home to their mother. Bonnie sends her best wishes to you. Humphrey mentioned needing a paw with the cleanup tomorrow. And that’s that. Good work and well played.”
Hank took a long draw through his silver tooth before speaking.
“Oh, except one detail that bothers me. Your stated goals were to get back the guitar and participate with the ZPD games, were they not?”
I scanned Hank’s words for any sign of a trap. “They were.”
“But, listening to Judy’s song, I can’t help thinking there’s more to it. The lyrics almost seemed tailored to you. Like a love song. Of course, that would be ridiculous. Provided you intend to join the ZPD, which I assume you do considering all you’ve been through this afternoon, that job would bring you back to the city. To where your home is. But, if Judy’s song has any meaning, she’s quite taken with you.”
Now I knew what Hank was getting at. I lowered my brow into a glare.
“So,” Hank finished when he realized I wasn’t going to complete his thought. “Either you intend to break Judy’s heart, or you’re going to move to the city. Together.”
I didn’t need to give him an answer as he laughed at my continued silence.
“Come on now, Nick. I’ve been in this post for years. I’ve known Judy since before she was born. She’s always talked about going to the city. I wouldn’t put it past Stu to realize this himself.”
“You haven’t told him?”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
Behind me, Jack was clenching his paws into a fist. I had to gesture to him to cool it, though I was fast losing my own patience for the deputy.
“So,” I continued. “You’re looking to get a bribe from me then. Is that it? What do you want?”
“Nick...Do you think so little of me? Honestly, I wouldn’t sink so low that I’d want to do such a thing. Besides, I doubt you have anything to offer that would be worth my time outside of your guitars. No, I want just one simple thing. I want to know why.”
I blinked a few times. “Why what?”
“When you first came here, you told me your only goal was to get back home. And I never judged you for that. But then, this whole campaign against the mayor lost you your job. Heck, it might even ruin your career in the ZPD if Stu can have his fair say to the scout. Why? What’s she worth to you? As I recall, she hated you when you first met her.”
“She did.”
“And yet you still continued. Madness. Don’t tell me it’s love. We’re both not naïve enough to think life’s like a storybook with princes and princesses. There must be some sort of real reason you did what you did. A motive. A purpose.”
I stared at him for a while. And then to Judy.
She was packing up now on the stage, with Angus and Travis. The three were all smiles, the rush of having performed and done well. Even Travis looked pleased.
“...Because it made her happy.”
“That’s all?” Hank gawked. “You’re risking your whole career on something fleeting like that?”
“It was worth it,” I replied, stern and confidently. “She’s happier now. Happier than she’s been in a long time. And you know I’m right about that.”
Hank flinched slightly and looked away from me.
“You care about her too,” I said. “I know you did once. Else you wouldn’t have stuck up for her as much as you did. You looked out for her after her accident, didn’t you? You helped her try out for the junior academy routine. And you protected her as best as you could when the predators were calling for her arrest. How long has it been since you’ve seen her genuinely smile? Would you expect the girl who attacked a fox all those years ago to be on stage with a group of predators?”
I got nothing from Hank. Not a word as he just turned away from me, like he couldn’t look at it.
“If you’re going to tell the mayor, I won’t stop you. We’ll tell him ourselves, once we make plans. But I’m not going to back down under threats about this. For better or worse, I don’t regret a thing. Can you say the same?”
Hank only glared in response. In return, I shrugged and turned away from him. There was nothing left to say.
Jack kept to my side as we walked away towards the stage. He did me the favor as a friend by returning Hank’s glares with some of his own. Jack had Hank beat, in that regard. No one gave a glower quite like an arctic hare with an ego the size of Zootopia itself.
“Your partner is a nice guy,” Jack said when we were enough distance away for Hank not to hear him. “Safe to say he doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”
“I suppose he’s not my partner anymore.”
Travis and Angus were helping themselves to what remained of the food from the grill, having packed up their things in Gideon’s truck. I was giving the fox a paw hoisting the last of the instruments, Judy’s amp.
“So,” I said to pass the time as we carried the box together. “Drove all the way to Podunk with her, huh?”
Gideon couldn’t face me. “Sorry. I couldn’t well say no to her, Nick.”
“Hey, you’re not in trouble. Not with me anyway. Just curious on when this little scheme was put together, is all.”
Gideon let out a nervous chuckle as we set down the amp. “I, uh, think it was spur of the moment this morning. She asked a lot of questions about where we got the electric. And how much it cost.”
“How did she afford it?”
“You think I stole it, dumb fox?” Judy asked, coming in behind me.
I smirked as I turned around to find her standing by with Josie strapped around her back and the acoustic back in its case. Her playful smile was all I needed to confirm that her words were spoken in jest. That and she looked glad to see me.
“Well,” I replied. “I happen to know that guitar was a one of a kind piece and a collector’s item of the highest caliber. It would cost you a fortune to even lay eyes on it, let alone afford it.”
“Is that right? Well, I happened to purchase it by trading it for some chewing gum and two laces of string.”
“Omph. The economy is killer these days.”
I loved the huffed laugh she did. And I loved it when I was the one to make her laugh.
We stared at each other long enough that Gideon had to clear his throat and rub awkwardly at the back of his head. “I’ll just, uh, I’ll just go take a little walk then.”
Judy nodded as Gideon trotted off into the night, probably to find Travis and Angus.
“Kissed and made up?” I asked.
“No,” she replied. “I can’t ever forgive him for what he did. That’s not how life works. But...He helped me with this. Even though he knew he might get in trouble for it with you. We’re not friends. But I don’t hate him. At least, not right now.”
If I knew Judy, there was a long road ahead for Gideon. But it was progress. More than the fox had made a month ago. I smirked as I glanced at the two instruments on Judy’s person.
“So...Two guitars, huh? I guess it’s good to have both an electric and an acoustic if you’re being serious about the band thing. Can switch easily depending on what they need. And you’ve proven you can play both—”
“It’s not for me.”
Judy held up the case for me to grab.
I found my mouth going dry again and my brain going blank. Like what Judy said was the last thing to ever even cross my mind. She only spoke again when I remained silently staring at her for nearly a minute.
“I bought it with what remained of the cash from my paycheck. I needed Gideon because he was the only other one who knew where you had traded it in. The beaver there was nice and understanding. He seemed to know who I was almost immediately and accepted my offer with no haggling. And I...I saw the price tags on some of the other guitars there.”
Judy shuffled around the strap for Josie over her shoulder. She knew the weight of her guitar now. She brought the acoustic closer for me to take.
“I never thanked you for Josie. So...So, I thought I could make it up to you by getting your guitar back as a surprise. And with the song. You know. Give you a present for completing the games at the party. I know everything has you worried and...I dunno. It was stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” I said, though my voice cracked at the words. “It's not stupid at all.”
It had been a long time since I cried.
I honestly can’t remember what the last thing was that caused me to break my mask completely. And I’ve never been adept at describing raw emotions when I was in the heat of the moment. But Judy giving back my guitar was like...Watching a friend die only for him to come back from the dead. A miracle I thought I would never see.
As my eyes watered, everything hit me at once.
What we had done today. Me failing at the games. My talk with Hank. Judy playing on the stage and smiling. Hearing my song again...Hearing something so simple and beautiful. But it was her gift of my guitar that pushed me over the edge. It was enough to break me and my mask. And it made me afraid. Afraid of what the future held for us.
Judy looked up at me, concern in her eyes as the tears rolled down my face.
“What’s wrong?”
“Everything,” I replied, wiping the salt water away and sniffing. “Everything and nothing. It’s been...A very long day.”
Judy looked like she understood everything, by how she glanced down to the ground. And how she gently dropped both guitars to embrace me. She held me close, like she was afraid I’d blow away in the wind. And I clutched at her back like she was my anchor in the storm. Safe and warm .
I wanted to tell her everything.
I wanted to tell her about how I had only managed to win a single game the whole tournament. How I had to stand up to Friedkin at the end and climb up the tree. How I had snapped at Jack in the car. And how Hank knew about our plans to move to the city. How I had failed at every turn.
But I also wanted to tell her how wonderful she was playing her guitar. How beautiful her performance and singing was. How proud of her I was. How thankful I was for her to bring me my acoustic back and all the small things she did for me. And how much I loved her for everything. How much I loved her...
Instead, I could only get out a dumb joke as I shivered. I’d tell her the rest later when I calmed down.
“Told you I cry too.”
Notes:
And thus we quietly conclude the games on one of my favorite moments in the story. Now we get into the falling action...And thanks for 600 kudos, guys!
Chapter 36: Track 36: “I Don’t Want To Be Here Anymore”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“I told mom about you today, you know.”
“Oh?” asked Judy over the phone. “That sounds like an interesting conversation. How did that go?”
“Well, she’s now very curious to meet you. I should have seen that coming. But I couldn’t really keep things a secret, given everything that’s happened. It wouldn’t be very fair to her to just show up on her doorstep together and go ‘surprise.’”
Not that things had been fair to us the past few days since the party.
Monday came and work resumed, my last week on the force. The mayor was too preoccupied with his guests to release me and I wasn’t one to abandon my post. There was still no word from Zandor on the game’s results. Though Jack kept me informed that they were still making their decisions, with him spending the entire day following the zebra and Friedkin. Meanwhile, I got stuck in the office with Hank. The station was like a graveyard, with neither of us even breathing a word to each other.
There was complete silence from the mayor all week, as well. Though I wasn’t sure what that meant with what his deputy knew about our little plans for Zootopia.
“Should I be worried?”
“That depends...How is your dad taking the news?”
The line went silent for a moment.
“...Too much fire to throw at him?”
“That would only be true if he was around. I haven’t seen him at all in days. Mom’s still not happy with him, so he doesn’t have much to come back to, I guess. And he’s been busy with town business following the party. And entertaining the ZPD crew.”
“Yeah...And we still don’t know if Hank told him or not. That has me nervous. What are you going to do if he doesn’t make it back home in time for you to tell him?”
“I’ll just leave,” she said with such indifference that it even made me wince. “I’m eighteen. I don’t need his permission to move to the city. What’s the worst he can do? He’s already fired you.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about. I just don’t want to see you leave on bad terms. If I can help it.”
I could practically hear her shrug over the other end of the phone.
Sitting alone in my apartment at 8 PM on a Wednesday left me feeling my solitude more and more with each passing day. It was the few phone calls I could spare with Judy that I always looked forward to at the end of my shift. We couldn’t risk her being seen with me just yet with the commentary made by Zandor during the games. I felt like I was being watched all the time, even when off from work. Observed like some horrible science project. I didn’t even feel comfortable calling Judy when Jack was around.
“It’s his own fault for being stubborn and stupid. I’m giving him what he wants, in the end. It’ll be some peace of mind with me gone. Maybe then he’ll actually come home once in a while.”
“I’m probably the last fox who would speak up for him. But I’m fairly certain there’s more to it than that. Take it from a guy who’s never even known his dad.”
Her silence spoke volumes more than any enraged huff could. I sighed.
“I just...Don’t want to see you do something you might end up regretting, is all. Leaving a bad taste in your mouth when moving out should be an exciting thing, you know?”
“I don’t regret anything more than staying here longer than I have to. I don’t wanna be here anymore.”
I frowned and hoped that Bonnie wasn’t around to hear Judy say that. Not that I could blame her in the slightest. I had my fill of Bunnyburrow for one lifetime. Whether I got a job in the ZPD or not, staying here was no longer an option.
“Well, you say that now. But wait till you meet my mom before making your decision.”
“Oh, please. I’ve spoken to her before.”
“Answering the phone for me does not count as a conversation.”
“I feel like I know her though. You’ve told me a lot about her already from your stories. And she seemed nice when I watched you talk with her. Does she not like rabbits or something? Is she...Not going to approve of me when I see her?”
“Actually, I think you’ll have quite the opposite effect on her,” I admitted with a chuckle. “And that’s what scares me. I’ve never brought anyone home before. And mom can be a little...Eccentric when it comes to something new that has my interest. I remember this one time...Ah, you probably don’t want to hear it.”
“No, I do. I like hearing your stories.”
Judy had no idea how much so simple of a comment could goad such a reaction from me. Despite being alone, I could feel my ears redden and I stammered slightly.
“Well, uh, I don’t know if you remember the old Zoke-mon fad from the nineties, but collecting the cards was all the rage in the city for awhile.”
“I think I was, like, eight when I first started hearing about that in the burrows. It took that long to reach us in the sticks. Didn’t it get banned from schools?”
“Yeah, it did. And I still collected them in secret anyway. I was a massive nerd.”
“Was?”
“Anyway,” I sharply continued. “This was before I really got into music. I had this big binder of Zoke-mon cards and I made it my mission to collect every single one of them. Went a little crazy with that phase too, even dressing up like some of the characters for Halloween. But there was this one card I could never get my paws on. The rare Ashlizard card. You know the one? The most powerful card in the collection. No one at school had it and I just wouldn’t shut up about it. I would save what little money I had from lunch just to squeeze out a booster pack at the end of every week and try my luck, but to no avail. That kind of alerted mom to just how much the fad meant to me. So, my birthday rolls around...”
“And she went all out?”
“Going all out would be an understatement. Despite it being just the three of us, me, Jack, and mom, she put together this full celebration of homemade decorations when I woke up. Like a paper mache pinata and all sorts of games she had thought up for us to play. And the cake...Jeez, that’s when I first really started to like the taste of blueberry. But get this. She made the thing in the shape of a giant Zoke-ball.”
I chuckled as I replayed the scene of my thirteenth birthday in my head. That was certainly the warmest November 14th I ever had, even near the start of winter on the edge of Tundratown. My thoughts trailed to remembering the big box that waited for me.
“But the biggest surprise came at the end. Mom had filled a shoebox with about a hundred booster packs. I don’t know where she got all of them, but that wasn’t cheap. She must have bought out the entire corner store by saving her money from every paycheck. And to just see them all there, waiting to be opened.”
After a moment of silence, I realized that I was sitting on the couch smiling stupidly. Judy alerted me to the interruption.
“Did you finally get your precious Ashlizard card?”
“Well, here’s the thing. One hundred packs is too many for one kid to open. I had to give one pack to Jack, so he wasn’t just sitting there watching me tear into the plastic foil for an hour, making me feel guilty. And he could have cared less about the card game. But the one, single pack I gave him happened to contain the stupid card.”
Judy huffed a laugh. I could hear her smiling over the phone.
“You’re kidding. Did he offer it to you, at least?”
“Oh, of course he did. But at that point, I was so ticked off that I felt like to accept it would be admitting defeat. I think he still carries the thing in his wallet to this day. If there were ever a story that described our relationship together, that would be it. It certainly was a memorable thirteenth birthday party, if ever there was one.”
There was another moment of silence over the line. This one felt stranger than the others. The kind of quiet you experience in the middle of the night after you hear a noise. And suddenly you’re on edge.
“...My thirteenth birthday was with my mom too. Just my mom. Dad was getting started running to be elected as mayor, so he was all sorts of busy with his new office. We spent it, just the two of us, out at a restaurant while he worked all day. I didn’t get to see him once.”
Judy’s voice was laced with something that tasted sour, even to me. I felt sorry for the mayor. It was a sad thing to work so hard to protect something you loved, only to forget about the thing you wanted to protect in the first place. I could only hope that I would never be the type of mammal to do that. But something told me it was not a sudden change that you’d notice.
I heard some excitement in the background of Judy’s call, like kids bouncing against the wall.
“...Great.”
“What’s wrong?”
“He’s home.”
“Oh, boy. Need me to let you go?”
“Probably a good idea. I don’t think him knowing I’ve been on the phone with you will open him up to the idea of moving to the city if I speak to him about it.”
“You really should mention it to him, it’s the right thing to do.”
“Yeah, yeah...Talk to you later, dumb fox.”
“Night.”
I sighed and dropped my phone into my lap, leaning back into the couch to take in the solitude of my apartment.
Gideon was off to work at the bakery, an evening shift and getting some much needed space from the mayor. I hadn’t seen Jack since that morning when he dropped me off at work. The couch had served as his bed in the time he spent in the burrows. He kept his supplies neat and orderly in his suitcase on the floor. Outside of Judy, the only real company I had was my guitar, which I had been afraid to touch since she had given it to me. I knew I’d be so out of practice that to hear me play again would be akin to listening to a razor blade on a violin.
I pondered what I could do with the rest of my evening while I waited for Jack to come home. Though I expected him at any minute. The buzzing between my legs confirmed that thought and I looked down at the screen of my phone. One message from Jack.
[They’ve come to a decision. You have an interview tomorrow in town hall.]
There were about a million questions running through my mind as I raised my eye. Was I the only candidate that made it through? Was this a part of a larger screening process? Why at the town hall? Was the mayor involved? Did they care about my relationship with Judy? And, most importantly, why me out of all the other candidates?
I sighed and leaned heavily into my legs, feeling the soreness from my evening workout even hours later. It felt like I was getting dragged around like a ship in a storm. Unable to act against the greater powers against me.
I looked to my guitar, leaning against the table and gripped my phone with tight determination.
Here we go…
I hoped this would be the last time I ever had to visit the Bunnyburrow town hall. I’ve heard of the term ‘graduation glasses’ before, where you look back on the good side of something before you never see it again. A feeble attempt to hold onto the good old days before they were gone forever. But there was no reverence for the good times as I walked up the steps that Thursday morning, dressed in the finest uniform I could find from the station. And even that was too small for me, with only my hat resting comfortably at the top of my head. No, the town hall held only the worst kinds of memories. From parties with babbling old mammals to waiting in the mayor’s office to get fired.
There was no delay this time when I approached the sheep secretary at the front desk.
“Right this way, Mr. Wilde. The mayor is expecting you.”
A rare moment of efficiency in the office space. I had expected to be waiting for a half an hour while the mayor made me sweat. Though the secretary all but confirmed for me that he would be involved in the interview. I should have assumed that, given the choice of location. I followed the sheep girl close as she ushered me to the office door before resuming her duties.
My tail bushed up when I discovered the mayor was the only one waiting for me in his office.
“Good morning, Wilde,” he said with all the warm disposition of a snake coated in tabasco sauce.
The mayor looked unusually exhausted this morning. There were deep lines in his forehead and he had a haggard breath despite sitting down. I guessed that sleeping in his office for the past week hadn’t been very good for his health. Not to mention the room had that musty smell of someone having not left it open to air out for some time. And he continued to stare at me with brown, doll-like eyes.
“Please, sit. Hank’s running a little late gathering the ZPD officers, so get comfortable.”
“Convenient,” I replied. I was in no mood to be hiding my unease with the situation.
The mayor sensed that too by how he glared at me before sighing.
“Very well. We can skip the pleasantries and speak truthfully. I wanted to talk to you before your interview with the scout.”
He knows. I decided that in my head. Be it from Judy or Hank, it was obvious in the cold stare I was being given. So much hate in those eyes. But I took the offered seat and returned his cold expression with one of my own. Arms crossed and hat down.
“I’ll be blunt with you, Wilde,” he began, paws folded on his desk in the attempt to look professional. “I was approached by Judy with some disturbing information recently that entails her and you.”
I raised an eye for him to go on, but didn’t give him the respect of moving another muscle in response.
“Judy is eighteen,” he continued. “She can make her own decisions and there is little I can do as her father to stop her. However, it is my duty as her father to keep an eye on her. And I can’t protect her where she goes out of bounds.”
“Forgive me, sir. I just find it hard to believe you care for her wellbeing as a father when you’ve already tried to take away her guitar. You know. Taking away the thing she enjoyed doing. Not exactly a flattering image of thoughtfulness from you.”
“It was for her own good.”
“Well, you were wrong,” I said. “And I don’t see what you want me to do about this. Judy is an adult and she can make her own decisions. If she wants to do this, you can’t stop her.”
“I can’t, no. But you can.”
It took more self control than I cared to admit to not bust out laughing. I caved by letting a soft chuckle escape my lips and shook my head at his request.
“After everything that's happened, I don’t see why I would ever do such a thing for you.”
“I’d imagine a recommendation from me would go a long way in convincing the scout of your acceptance into the ZPD, Wilde.”
I let out an indignant huff. “If you think you can weasel your way out of this one by bribing me, you got another thing coming. I’m not some dime store cop whom you can buy. And what your daughter wants to do with her life is worth a lot more to me than my job.”
“And you’re just going to take her away from her family?”
“I’m not taking her anywhere,” I snapped back. “When are you going to learn? This isn’t some evil plot on my behalf to manipulate Judy into leaving the burrow. This is something she’s wanted to do for a long time. She doesn’t want to be stuck in this town for the rest of her life, watching everyone else move on but her.”
The mayor was taken aback by my sudden outburst. It was the first time I had ever raised my voice at him, me having previously always shown him the respect of his office. I was disappointed in myself for not controlling my anger, enough that I held my head in my paw.
“Your problem is that you’re always telling her what to do but never listening to her. You’re so focused on protecting her that you’re unwilling to even consider her happiness. It’s no wonder she wants to escape you. If Judy wants to come with me, then I’ll be happy to have her along. But if she wanted to stay in the burrow, then I’d still be willing to do whatever it took to make things work with her. I would have been happy with whatever option she picked, so long as it was her choice. I trust her. You, however, don’t. And if you need to resort to going back on deals you make with her just to keep her in your grasp, maybe you don't deserve to be her guardian. Look at yourself. You’re the very thing you’re afraid of.”
A part of me hoped he might take my words to heart. But I knew that was like offering a mirror to a blind mammal. The mayor’s shocked expression had slowly morphed into a scowl as bitter as an old lemon while I had been ranting. He crossed his paws while looking down at me from the high rise of his desk.
“Is that your final answer, Wilde?”
I showed my teeth as I spoke. “It is. And don't ask me again."
“Very well,” he said with a tired, guttural sigh. “Then you leave me no choice.”
He sounded more worn than usual, like I had finally managed to wound the old rabbit. Though only a fool would assume that this was the end of it with his last words. Even as he clenched his chest like he was in pain.
The mayor rose from his chair and made for the door.
“Come then. Your interview awaits…”
I hadn’t been to the other offices around the town hall before. They were larger spaces, built more for ten or so medium-sized mammals around a boardroom table. I felt outnumbered by the chairs as I sat alone in the dark. The blinds on the windows blocked out the morning sun, though the rays still burnt through the cracks like the lasers of some ancient booby trap. And I sat alone at the very middle of the circular table. A mug of cold office water was my only comfort.
I was kept waiting for fifteen minutes before there was movement outside the meeting room. The sudden arrival of a certain zebra caused me to immediately start fiddling with my paws.
“Good morning, Mr. Wilde,” said Zandor as he flipped on the lights. “Let’s not sit in the dark now, shall we?”
“Morning, sir.”
My first attempt with keeping a cheery disposition for the interview was challenged by the thumping of a larger pair of feet behind the zebra. I expected Friedkin to join us, but secretly hoped she might have been left out of the interview. Even with me dressed as formally as I could be in my blues, she didn’t even have the decency to change out of her workout clothes. Almost like she was mocking me.
“Lighten up, Foxtrot,” she said when she noticed my stares. “We’re not on the obstacle course here. No need to be so stiff.”
“Sorry,” I replied, pulling at my collar. “Rabbit-sized uniforms keep the posture tense.”
Zandor took a chair opposite of me while Friedkin stood in the background. Even with all the space of the board room, there was nowhere comfortable for the giant bear to sit. Zandor placed his clipboard down at the table and sorted through his paperwork.
I recognized my file from when he approached me during the games. But there was a larger pile within the records. My keen eyes told me that they were observational notes of me during my performance at each of the games. I couldn’t read them for too long, being the center of attention in the interview, and I looked straight into the zebra’s eyes with a forced smile.
Zandor cleared his throat before clamping his hooves together to look professional. It was the first time I had seen him look at me without his clipboard in his face.
“As you well know,” he began. “This interview is for the open positions in the ZPD precinct one as a part of fulfilling Mayor Lionheart’s new Mammal Inclusion bill. We are in need of a strong example of someone above and beyond the usual choice to show the diversity of the police force. But, they must also prove they can perform with the best ZPD has to offer. We’re looking for someone unique."
“I understand, sir.”
Zandor continued by grabbing at the sheet containing his observations of me. “Let’s start by going over your performance in last weekend’s games.”
“I did my best, sir.”
“You did better than that, Foxtrot,” Friedkin chimed in. “On average, you performed the best out of everyone.”
I blinked a few times, if only because I wasn’t expecting a compliment from the grim polar bear sulking around in the back.
“...I don’t take your meaning.”
“Your performance was the most consistent out of all the candidates,” Zander explained. “Every challenge, you were in the upper tier. Often well beyond the other contenders in scoring.”
“But...But I only won one game.”
“We don’t judge fish on their ability to climb trees,” Friedkin said, crossing her arms. “With so many different events, of course we wouldn’t expect one mammal to win every single game. That would be impossible and wasn’t the point of the exercise.”
“The true purpose of the games was to observe how each of you approached different obstacles,” Zandor chimed in. “It was a more intense version of standard academy training. And it allowed for more personal observations into your respective characters. Particularly concerning traits of endurance under stress.”
“It’s important for an officer of the ZPD to be able to meet the trials of a varied cityscape like Zootopia, for sure. But there’s no such thing as a perfect officer, Foxtrot. We don’t send in an elephant squad for a sensitive mission in Little Rodentia. Nor do we have a rabbit as the first choice for taking down an enormous criminal, despite what Officer Savage might tell you. What we’re looking for is officers willing to try their hardest no matter the situation and be team players. Not specialty forces, like the TUSK squad. Variance is the key to providing new perspectives in important cases.”
My understanding was slower than I cared to admit. I blamed my troubled expectations on the conversation I had just come from with the mayor. Preparation for the worst. I had assumed I’d be fighting for the position in the ZPD. But it almost sounded like the complete opposite. Like I was being offered a job.
Zandor summed up my thoughts with a single comment.
“You look confused, Mr. Wilde. I sense some questions.”
“I just,” I sputtered before forming a coherent thought. “Am I the only one being considered for the position? Out of the other candidates?”
“Yes, correct.”
“But...But why? I feel like I’m the last mammal who deserves consideration. I even shouted at the Major during the games.”
“I seem to recall your emotional outburst stemmed from concern over your fellow officer, Foxtrot. You were protecting Officer Sanchez, who was clearly in distress. You even offered to take his place. And besides your playful banter, I know from personal experience you’re not prone to disrespecting authority from your time at the academy. You joke around to lighten the mood, but you still do your duty. We choose to look at that as an isolated incident done in the defense of a fellow officer. Coupled with stress from the games.”
“That does mean that you will be asked to take a psych evaluation during this interview,” added Zandor. “Particularly concerning your exploits between the mayor of the burrow. Though we have been doing our own research into that regard. Despite what the mayor would say about you, you have proven to be the best candidate. Both in physical demonstration and goal orientation. This hasn’t been the first time we’ve had a potential applicant who has faced disagreements with the local politicians. And we have other references whom we may refer to to cast judgment.”
“Other references?”
It was the first time I had ever seen Zandor smile, even though it was slight. He breathed deeply through his snout and dug around his clipboard. He pulled out four sheets of paper.
“From your fellow officers. I won’t share the specific details, though you do have a right to know who has spoken for you. We have one from our most decorated officer in precinct one, John Maurice Savage Junior, who speaks very highly of your character and dedication from personal experience.”
I nodded. Of course Jack would say something to grease the wheels.
“Another, from local state trooper Olivia April Humphrey, whom we spoke about previously. She commented heavily on your care and devotion towards others. Then we have one from Catspaw, Officer Hubert Thomas Hipkins—”
“Who?” I asked, never hearing of that name before.
“Bigmouth from the games,” Friedkin answered, jogging my memory immediately.
Zandor continued on as if he had not heard us.
“—He provided a detailed account of an incident during the tournament where you saved his life.”
“I mean,” I rubbed at the back of my neck, recalling the twinge still in my back. “Saving his life is a bit of an overstatement. He took a tumble off a cliff during the capture the flag game and I stopped him. Then I helped him get down the mountain. That’s all.”
“He also stated that you made sure he received proper medical treatment and you gave up winning the game in order to ensure he got back safely,” Zandor concluded before turning to the last reference.
“Finally, a very detailed recommendation from your deputy, Henry Bartomeus Slack. Records from past partners, we’ve found, are the most useful when determining a potential candidate’s fit into the ZPD. You may be pleased to know that Officer Slack held you in high regard. In fact, I might call his endorsement a deciding factor in our decision today.”
I sat mouth agape again and dumbfounded in my seat. I had walked into the town hall thinking Hank would be my worst enemy, only to hear he was now covering for me. Why? Why had he done that?
I couldn’t say, but I felt like a complete jerk with my behavior towards him.
“Any more questions, Mr. Wilde?”
I snapped to reality with a shake of my head. I had an interview to finish.
“No, sir. None.”
“Then let us continue with the evaluation.”
“They offered me a job,” I repeated the statement for the tenth time that night. “They actually offered me a job.”
I stared blankly into my application, messily filled with my sloppy handwriting. I had finished applying the details an hour ago with Jack’s help. It held the usual information. Social security number. Doctor records. Current address, soon to be changed when moving back in with mom. Trumping even my high school degree, this felt like the most important piece of paper I had ever held in my life. Even though it had been printed out on a cheap office legal sheet and smudged with blue ink.
“Welcome to precinct one, Nick,” said Jack as he patted me on the shoulder. “Grats. I’m proud of you, bud. Knew you could do it.”
It was almost amazing that Jack had a different congratulatory message every time I muttered about my surprise success. And it was a surprise. That much was certain.
Nicholas P. Wilde. First fox cop of precinct one. That was such a strange thing to say out loud. I would almost prefer gargling peas while singing the national anthem over saying that sentence to someone’s face. Not that it didn’t feel earned. After months of working hard, it certainly was deserved. Just...Not what I expected.
For once in the long summer, I could sit back and say that there was nothing left I had to do.
I felt restless. That niggling doubt in the back of your head that told you somewhere something was being overlooked. Though I had run down my mental checklist a dozen times, I found nothing. I even had my buzzer on paw in case of any emergencies at the station, though it was well past closing time. But that dangerous contentment had bitten me in the butt before.
My troubled frown did not go unnoticed.
“If you want, I can go rescind my recommendation,” Jack offered, taking a bite out of our celebratory tofu pizza. Though I had settled for a salad instead. “You know how I love to make things harder for you.”
“Don’t I ever.”
“You’re not happy about passing?”
“Oh, I’m ecstatic,” I said with sincerity. “Just...I’m starting to know what people mean by survivor’s guilt. I feel like I got away with something that I really shouldn’t have.”
“You mean with the mayor?”
“Just a bad feeling,” I muttered as a shiver went up my spine. “I don’t know. I’m being stupid.”
“Yeah, you are. You worked hard for this, Nick. And you deserve a little good news with all that’s happened. We planned for everything and we did it. Even your deputy stepped in to help.”
“Out of sheer luck. I don’t know…”
Jack’s frown mirrored my own as he finished off his slice of pizza.
“...Want to talk to your girlfriend about it and tell her the good news?”
I let out a low huff but cracked a smile.
“Can’t call her. Too risky with her dad potentially home. She’s got to be the one to call to let me know it’s safe to talk.”
“Tsk. You know you both sound like a couple of high schoolers sneaking out, right?”
“Considering she’s eighteen and my relationship status was stunted in high school, yeah. But so what? What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing at all. And give it a few years and it won’t even matter. She’s coming with us then?”
“On Friday?” I asked, knowing that was when we had been given tickets to return to the city. “I haven’t told her yet. But that’s the plan, yeah. And we all know how plans go.”
“My plans always work, Nick.”
A knock at the door interrupted me before I could correct Jack by mentioning the time he had ‘borrowed’ a cardboard box from the street, not realizing that it had belonged to a poor homeless otter. That ended well as it sounded.
“If that’s the pizza guy with our missing breadsticks, I’m going to kill him,” muttered Jack as he waved me off. “I thought you said this Edgardo's place was supposed to be good.”
“Humphrey recommended it,” I replied as I stood in a stretch to answer the door. My back was still killing me from Sunday. “Complain to her if you have problems. My salad was fine.”
“And you’re already messing with our dynamics eating that rabbit food.”
I answered him only with a heavy sigh as I opened our front door. It wasn’t a pizza guy waiting on the other side. Unless they hired punk rabbits.
“Hey.”
I wasn’t nearly out of it enough to not recognize when something was very wrong with Judy. Especially as she stood there at the doorway with a suitcase and a bag for her laptop in her one paw. Josie was in the other.
She sniffed and tried not to keep eye contact with me. She was warmly dressed with her hoodie and jeans, though she shivered like she had been left out in the rain. I detected a very clean scent on her, like she had spent the last hour washing her face. And her eyes were very much red in the corners, even when she tried to hide it by turning away from me.
“Hey. I was just thinking about you.”
“Can I...Stay here for a bit?”
“Of course. Come on in. We just had pizza.”
Judy wasn’t interested in dinner and instead settled for a glass of water while she dropped off her things in my bedroom. She had packed more than an overnight bag. I brought in Josie for her, along with her drink. She kept the guitar close as she downed her glass in one sitting before getting to work on unpacking her things. I subtly clued Jack in on the mood surrounding Judy before closing the bedroom door to give us some privacy. I stood by, watching her work for a moment.
Come on. You know something’s wrong, Nick. Ask her.
Duh. But I don’t want to make it worse, dummy. Take it slow.
I played ping pong with my inner voice for a moment before deciding the best way to approach the situation.
“Hey...Are you...Okay?”
Judy stopped what she was doing and looked at me. Then to her guitar. She bit at her lower lip, trying to stop herself from crying. I would know from recent experience that it never worked to do that. Instead, she settled on covering her face with her free paw to hide before the tears flowed free.
“No. No, I am not okay…”
I moved on instinct towards her, wanting to do nothing else but hold her close. To let her know that everything was going to be okay. Even though I was desperate to know what the origins of her tears were, I kept quiet and remained her pillar as she clutched at my back in her embrace, her head buried into my chest. She would tell me when she was ready to. I could feel the salt drench my fur through my thin T-shirt. It cut through my hair to my very skin, stinging to the touch. Judy’s choked breathing was muffled by my cover so that even Jack wouldn’t overhear us.
After a few minutes of deep, shaky breaths, she spoke again.
“...Dad kicked me out of the house.”
“You mean...Like for the night?”
“No. Like forever. He disowned me,” her voice croaked on the last words.
“Oh,” I whispered and tried to give her a comforting squeeze. “Judy…”
She suddenly felt very fragile in my arms. Like a glass ornament that could fracture to the slightest touch. And I felt like I was shielding her with my body.
“I knew this was stupid,” Judy muttered after another moment of silence. “I should have just left without telling him. It would have been easier to argue over the phone. Then the squirts wouldn’t have to see it…”
“Didn’t your mom say something to him?”
“Yeah. But, god. That made it so much worse when they started going off on each other. I was...Afraid they were going to end things right there with each other. Like...Talking about a divorce and…And...”
“...And you left before it could come to that,” I finished for her.
She nodded into my chest.
I pressed my snout on top of her head. Guilt was like a searing prod to my chest. If I hadn’t ever planned the idea with Judy, maybe things wouldn’t have come to this. It was my fault she had to see that ugly side with her parents. I had pressed the issue with her father.
“Judy…I’m so sorry. This is all my fault I—”
“No,” she looked up at me immediately with her swollen, red eyes. “No, don’t ever say that. This is his fault. Not yours. You’re the only one who ever listened to me. The only one who cared. And he never tried to. He only ever saw me as this thing that he had to protect. Never my own person.”
Her voice was rising in volume with each sentence. She showed her teeth as she continued to rant.
“I’m glad he kicked me out. He told me not to come back home if I was going to be with you. Like I was betraying the family or something. Gave me the choice of you or home...Well, screw him. I don’t need him. And I don’t need that kind of home. I’m never going back .”
Words spoken in anger were seldom true feelings of the heart.
“Maybe give him a day or two to calm down,” I offered. “And think it over some. Maybe he was just trying to scare you into staying. Maybe he didn’t think you would walk out.”
“So, he’s just trying to manipulate me then?”
At that question, I realized just how deep the hole the mayor had been digging for himself was. Anything else I could add to the conversation would probably rile Judy up even more. And getting her angrier wouldn’t help her feel better. So, I opted for a softer approach.
“He’s your father and you’d know him best,” I said, trying to sound as diplomatic as I could. “I couldn’t even begin to tell you what he’s thinking. But you can stay here as long as you like. We can even delay leaving for the city, if you’d want to.”
She sniffed her thanks and broke away from me to brush her nose and wipe her eyes with her sleeve. Then she got back to work unpacking. I could relate in needing to keep my paws busy when there was a lot on my mind. I let her work on her own for a moment before she stopped in place and faced me again, like a thought had just occurred to her.
“What did you mean delaying leaving for the city?” She asked. “Did you decide when we were going to go?”
After hearing everything that happened to Judy, it felt completely inappropriate to bring up my interview.
Then again...Maybe some good news would go a long way in cheering her up.
“You could say that,” I muttered, rubbing the back of my head. “They, uh, they called me in for an interview today regarding the position…”
I paused for a moment to think how I could phrase the result as tactfully as I could without it sounding like I was bragging to Judy after her own horrible day.
She did the hard work for me.
“...And you got the job?”
“They assigned me to precinct one.”
I started smiling when I saw the beginnings of one on her own face. Judy wiped at her eyes some more as her grin spread from ear to ear. She looked up at me with such a proud stare. The kind that you only ever get to see from someone once or twice in your lifetime.
Judy was the one to hold me now.
“I knew you could do it. I knew it.”
She gave an honest laugh as she dragged me to the bed by the paw.
My sore spine groaned in complaint as Judy climbed up my chest so she could come to my level. Then my back gave way supporting us both and we toppled onto the bed. Her laugh contrasted her tear-stained face as she fell onto me. And I was beginning to feel more like a mount with me lying flat on my back and her riding my torso. She put her paw to my cheek and leaned in closer as I held her own face.
She kept her smile the whole way down.
“You did it,” she said.
“Yeah,” I replied, wiping at her cheeks. “You okay?”
She huffed in response, though her eyes told a different story.
“I’ll get over it.”
“Judy…”
“I don’t want this moment to get ruined by him. This moment of all things. You worked so hard for this. It’s not fair if he takes this away too. I want...I want to be happy for you. Because I am. I’ve never been more happy for anyone in my life.”
Judy glanced to my lips a few times in her speech.
We shared a moment of understanding. Our eyes were open books to each other’s intent. So, we closed them. And leaned in closer.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
There was an unexpected vibration from my pants. It took a few heartbeats to realize that it was my phone buzzing. How utterly typical.
We both sighed, now knowing full well what the buzzing meant. I didn’t even have to look at the caller to know who it was reaching out to me.
“It’s your mother.”
“Of course it is…,” Judy muttered as she sat up, the moment completely dead.
“Want to talk to her?” I offered.
“No. I’m not in the mood. I’ll talk to her later. Just tell her I’m alright. And that I’m not coming home.”
I frowned as Judy climbed off me. I looked down at the screen to see “One Missed Call” blaring in green letters, staring up at me.
Sitting back up, I left the room to let Judy get back to work. And give me some privacy.
Notes:
Given the absolute insanity that has been November 5th (and what continues to be craziness), I hate to end this chapter on a saddish note. But I think a lot of you clever readers saw this coming with Bonnie and Stu. Leaving was never going to be clean, unfortunately. But, like with Nick's job, there's always a little bit of hope to be found in every bad news. Please keep safe out there, especially you fellow Americans.
Chapter 37: Track 37: “Walking Disaster”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Is she with you?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” Bonnie replied, an audible tremble in her voice. “Thank goodness...After she stormed off in tears like that, I was afraid…”
I winced, knowing all too well what a concerned mother like Bonnie feared the most. The best I could do for Bonnie was comfort her.
“She’s perfectly fine, ma’am,” I said, passing Jack out of the apartment and stepping outside for privacy. “A little shaken, but she’s unpacking her things to keep busy. I gave her some water and helped her calm down a bit. I feel like she just needs some space right now.”
“You’re probably right,” Bonnie admitted with a melancholy tone. I heard her sniff before speaking again. “I’m sorry. I was just so worried…”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. Is everything okay? With you and your husband, I mean.”
I detected her shifting around. Like me, Bonnie was probably seeking solitude for our personal talk. Harder to do in a burrow with three hundred children. After a moment of silence, she spoke again.
“Truthfully, I don’t know. Stu walked out after Judy did. Probably went back to his office. He’s been sleeping there, from what I’ve heard from his secretary.”
“I’ve caused your family an unfair amount of grief...Is there anything I can do?”
“These problems have existed long before you came along, Mr. Wilde. Don’t blame yourself. If it wasn’t you with Judy, it would be her with someone else. I know she’s never been happy here. I know she’s always wanted to branch out. Stu was never going to let her do that. Not with her leg. But there’s no one else I would trust her to go to the city with.”
I couldn’t help but wonder what I had done to earn Bonnie’s confidence that much, especially when feeling like the catalyst around everything that had happened. Like a walking disaster.
“You do plan on leaving soon?”
“On Friday,” I said. “I was given a position in precinct one. They want me to set up and be ready before Monday. Start up fresh next week.”
I could actually hear the empty void of the universe grow just a little bit bigger over the silence Bonnie gave me.
“...That’s not far away.”
“No,” I replied with a sigh. “No, it isn’t.”
I didn’t have to be a mind reader to listen in on Bonnie’s thoughts. To have her daughter storm out after a horrible fight with her father was one thing. To leave the burrow without even reconciling was a whole mess of buried emotions and bad feelings. The sort of unresolved tension that could last a lifetime and require at least a dozen trips to a shrink to untangle.
And I couldn’t leave her high and dry like that.
“I’ll talk to her,” I promised. “Suggest to her that she should say goodbye, at least.”
“Thank you. We both know how hard it is to convince her to do something.”
I struggled to find something, anything to say which could make things right. In that desperation, a horrible thought came to mind.
“If you wanted me to...I can ask her not to come to the city with me.”
Bonnie’s response was immediate and swift. “No. Never. I could never do that. This is what she really wants. And even if it breaks my heart, it’s my job as a parent to support her.”
She sounded angry with me for even suggesting that idea. I guessed it wasn’t the first time the thought had crossed her mind. Like tempting a starving mammal with an apple. I could hear her breathing heavily over the line to calm herself down.
“That’s what parents are supposed to say, aren’t they? Let their children live their dreams? We always...I always spoke out against Judy wanting to become a police officer.”
“I can see why,” I replied, trying to soften the lashing it felt like Bonnie was giving herself. “It’s a dangerous career. And I’m nervous about what awaits me when I start.”
“Did your mother ever fight against your hopes and dreams, Mr. Wilde?”
“I didn’t have many to begin with, so there wasn’t much in the way of a fight. I know I did worry her when I lived off the street for a time.”
“It’s a mother’s job to worry. And Judy, especially, used to turn my fur white with her dreams of going to the city and fighting crime. Every night, I’d always hope, always pray that someday she would maybe see reason. Or change her mind somehow. And then when she fell...I felt like the worst mother in the world after she had her accident.”
There was a long pause, like that moment when the wind dies at night and the world is suddenly silent.
“Tell me. Am I...Am I a terrible person for being relieved when I first heard Judy couldn’t become a police officer? Because of her injury?”
“No,” I spoke with a vision of my own mom on my mind. “You’re just a mother who loves her children very much.”
She breathed out more than relief into the receiver.
“You’re far too kind, Mr. Wilde. But I’ll carry that horrible thought with me my whole life...Thank you, all the same. You’re how I know Judy is going to be alright. And that’s what’s keeping me together through all this.”
“You can call me any time if you’re worried, ma’am. I’m all ears.”
She sniffed and chuckled at my rabbit joke.
“I need to confess something else. When I first saw you...I never would have imagined that Judy would be interested in being with a fox. But now...I’m glad it was you. Of all people it could have been to get her back on her feet, you were who she needed most. You saved her.”
Breathing deeply through my nose, I thought about that humid night on the train tracks. And what had come before that moment. How far I came. I knew, even then, that I had all but given up any hope of advancing in my career. A solid month in the borrow with no progress. Constantly questioning what I wanted to do with my life. And now, finding fulfillment in something I thought was a lost cause. It was all thanks to one rabbit that I was actually starting to get excited about Monday. Even with the world falling apart around us.
“I think we saved each other, actually.”
“Please, look out for her in the city. I know she’ll be fine but…”
“...But it’s a mother’s job to worry,” I finished, a smile at my lips. “I’m always, always going to look out for her, Bonnie.”
It was a fine night when the hardships died down.
Cold pizza was brought as an offering to Judy in the bedroom. She appreciated it, judging by how she devoured everything that was leftover in minutes, much to Jack’s annoyance. When she declined my offer to come outside, I opted to join her under the blankets instead. The warm, stuffiness of the apartment during the summer had given way to a chilly, cold wood floor with the coming autumn. And Judy was only too happy to share body heat as we kept to my bed.
It was the first time I had ever slept next to someone. I didn’t count our night together, as I didn’t remember actually falling asleep then. They make it look so comfortable in the movies. Like the person next to you is this big pillow for you to hold close. But while Judy’s fur was certainly soft, her bones underneath were not. That wasn’t to say I was miserable with my lodgings. Far from it.
It was just a new experience for me. It’s different to have a warm body in your bed next to you when once there was nothing. The breathing. The twitching. It’s those moments in the quiet of the night that you realize there’s a real person at your side. And suddenly the dark’s not so lonely anymore. She kept on my arm and I at her back, my tail curled around her. My arm was starting to fall asleep before me.
Though the thought occurred to me that maybe I didn’t ever want to be sleeping.
We had a big breakfast when we were all up. I made Judy french toast with Jack, using mom’s old recipe. I settled on fruit after I had done my early morning run, of course. I had also maybe four hours of sleep, yet I was at that strange point where I was eerily lucid. Though I fully expected a crash to follow in the afternoon that would leave me utterly destroyed.
In truth, I wanted to do nothing but stay home with Judy. But I knew my duty as sheriff still stood until end-of-day Friday. Then, at night and we’d be taking the late night train into Zootopia. Jack offered to buy Judy her ticket with nothing better to do during the day. Judy seemed reluctant to spend her time around him, but neither of us wanted to invoke the further wrath of the mayor. Best if we kept separated while I was off being an official. So, I left Jack the money for the train before kissing Judy goodbye for the day. Not that our caution mattered. I arrived at work to find an empty office. Hank had called in sick.
That was a shame too. I had fully intended to speak with him.
So, it was just me alone in the office with very little to do. Not a peep on the lines. No paperwork from the mayor as a last moment of spite against me. Perhaps he couldn’t be asked. Perhaps he had bigger things on his mind. Before the afternoon crash hit me, I decided to give myself the task of cleaning the entire station from top to bottom. I figured the least I could do before leaving for good on Friday was give a lasting impression.
My day was spent with a bucket of bleach, plastic gloves, some old rags, and a mask to block out the fifty year old dust in the air.
“You smell like a pool,” Judy commented when I returned home.
“Practicing for that big janitor gig on Monday with the ZPD,” I shot back with a grin before collapsing onto the couch.
Fatigue hit me hard when I got home. Though not enough that I didn’t notice the quiet around the apartment.
“Where’s Jack?”
“He said he needed to take a walk. Gideon left for work too.”
“Are you playing nice with them?”
“Only when Jack is,” she smirked and leaned into my arm. “He tried to keep me entertained all day, but he’s more of a geek than you are.”
“Just be happy he hasn’t taken you LARPing yet.”
“He reminds me of my siblings. Like he’s an older brother. Or something.”
“Why’s that, I wonder? Because he’s very homey? Or familiar as a rabbit?”
“No. Because he’s annoying like one.”
“Hah, I’ll give you that. He means well though. Just shows his care in his own bad way. And he is a part of the family. Best get used to him if you’re coming with us tomorrow.”
Judy frowned at that comment and looked down at her feet.
“What did mom say to you yesterday?”
My own sad expression mirrored hers. I hadn’t brought up the phone call with Bonnie at all in the hopes to ease Judy into the idea of sending her mother her goodbyes. Farewells always felt like the last thing left to do before a trip. The final obstacle or dragon to slay.
“What you would expect,” I started, rubbing past my drooping ears. “She was worried about you.”
“Are she and dad going to...?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
I was no stranger to seeing divorce growing up. It happened all the time to other kids in school. Me and Jack were lucky, in some sense, with our single parents. It was one of those things that no one ever talked about. But you just knew. And you could see the sadness in the eyes of the children. They were always the ones suffering the most in the ordeal.
“I can’t go back,” Judy muttered, hugging her knees close.
“Not even to say goodbye?”
“I can’t,” she shook her head and her earrings jingled. “I just...Can’t be there for it. I know it’s coming. It’s been like this for awhile with them. Whenever dad is actually home from work. They always fight. It’s just...It’s better if I’m not there. The sooner I leave, the better off they’ll be.”
I recalled her saying something similar to me on the train tracks and reached for her paw.
“It’s not your fault.”
She let out a shredded sigh and sniffed. “I’m never gonna think it isn’t.”
I winced at her comment and held her paw tighter.
“...Fair enough. But that doesn’t mean you have to devote your whole life to feeling sorry about it. Your mother told me she wanted you to be happy. Above all else. That’s why she gave you her blessing to come with me.”
Judy’s ears perked up slightly at my words. I gave her both of my paws to hold.
“I can’t promise things will get better for them. And I don’t know what the future holds. But I know people care about you. You just gotta do what feels right for yourself and believe. Believe you’re worth more than what you think you are.”
She looked down for a moment before huffing a soft laugh and smiling. I smiled too when I saw her purple, hopeful eyes again. Though I didn’t get to see them for too long as she leaned into me to nuzzle at my snout.
“At least I’ll have a little help.”
There were no sick excuses from Hank the following Friday. He just left a phone message stating that he would be staying at the mayor’s office all day on official business. Can only imagine what those two are doing together. It was just as well. The solitude let me put the finishing touches on the office.
Needless to say, I don’t think I had ever seen the station more clean and spotless. My last parting gift to Hank was an avocado left in the fridge. I hoped it would be enough of a message for him. When the day finally came to close, I hung up my hat on the wall, left my beeper at my desk, and turned off the lights.
We had spent most of the night getting our things together in preparation for a quick drive to the train station by 9 PM. Jack and Judy were easy to pack. I, on the other paw, had to sort through all my old things in the apartment. It helped to have Gideon on paw to go through our entire collection of niknaks around the apartment. Sorting whose thing was what. Though he was keeping all the new furniture as my parting gift to him.
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” I asked, genuinely surprised to see him with us considering he typically would have been scrubbing floors at the town hall.
“Nah. I quit last night. You’re right. I should be doing something more with my life than cleaning toilets for a living. Suppose with Judy gone, there’s not much reason for me to stay, is there?”
“Suppose not,” I smiled as we sorted through the loads of laundry for any clothes I might have missed. “Going to be okay affording this place on your own?”
He smiled, though his eyes showed a fought grimace. “We’ll just have to wait an’ see. Already asked the bakery for more hours to compensate. Gonna shift up my sleeping schedule a bit though.”
“You mean you’ll actually act like a normal, functional member of society instead of behaving like a vampire?”
“Heh, mostly,” Gideon gestured to the next pile of clothes. “Yours?”
“Mine. Except the trunks. I borrowed those from you.”
“Mm. Well, thank you kindly for informing me.”
“Sorry, I forgot. That was when we went up to the woods. I should have mentioned it to you. Among other things.”
“Nick,” Gideon muttered, folding up some of my old shirts. “As far as I’m concerned, what’s mine is yours. You’ve given me much more than what a pair of dusty ole swim pants are worth. Don’t be a stranger if y’all ever come back to the burrows.”
“Might be some time, given the mess we’re leaving it in.”
“Things look bad now, sure. But give it time. Hopps are tough rabbits. Take the word from someone who lost a fang and half an ear to one of them. They’ll bounce back, one way or another.”
“Thanks, Gid,” I offered back the trunks.
“Keep em. Maybe all that soft city life will help you put on some weight.”
“Oh, I doubt it. I’ll be keeping form and then some once in precinct one. I hear they have a gym too. Gotta be the trim fox of the streets, after all.”
“Use 'em as a memento then. I dunno. Just somethin for it to be useful.”
I smiled, understanding and tucked them into the pile.
“That’s the last of it. You’re driving us then?”
“It’s the reason I’m here. Yeah.”
I had grown used to late night in the burrow having the fog of humidity and warmth. But, with the coming autumn, there was a nip in the air. The station was lit up like a holiday tree, being the only real light source for miles around. I was surprised when I saw people waiting by the platform. Though the shock faded when I noticed the other vehicle in the parking lot was a state trooper cruiser.
I patted Jack’s seat from the back of the pickup, where Judy and I were sitting.
“Went out for a walk, huh?” I asked, recalling the excuse Judy had given him the previous night.
Jack just shrugged. “You didn’t think you could sneak away without at least saying goodbye, did you?”
I shared a look of concern with Judy, who also sensed that we were about to get more of a farewell party than we intended.
Our original plan was to just head out in the night before anyone would notice we were gone. Make as little as a fuss as possible after we were already in trouble with the mayor. We even packed light, with only our guitars, clothes, and a few reminders from my workout routines not left behind. The weights and medicine ball were given to Gideon for our ease of travel. Maybe with him, they’d eventually see some use.
Stepping outside into the chilly evening, I saw that there were three guests. Big, medium, and small. I had some guesses who they were, though needn’t have bothered by the soft voice laced with honey over the night air.
“Running away without saying goodbye, Wilde?”
I grinned at Humphrey, in the middle of Angus and Travis. I suppose after everything, it would have been unfair to just slip away.
“I was planning on giving you a phone call later,” I argued. “We figured bringing too much attention to ourselves would just cause problems with the mayor.”
Humphrey glanced around the empty train station. “Oh, absolutely. The eyes and ears of the mayor are everywhere , I tell you.”
“Just a precaution…And I’m not one for drawing out goodbyes, you know? Too cliched.”
“Lighten up, Wilde. We’re not just here for you, anyway.”
Judy was doing her best to keep from being the center of attention, though failing miserably with all eyes on her. She sighed and stepped into the light of the train station, guitar strapped to her back and a bag in her paw with her other possessions. We were a splitting image of a matching couple, in that regard.
“So,” Humphrey broke the silence, facing Judy. “Heading off into the big city, huh? Can’t say I’m surprised to hear that, seeing how restless you always were here.”
“Yeah…”
“I must say, I’m going to miss seeing you both around the burrows. It’s going to be awfully quiet around here without the two of you.”
“Maybe we’ll visit,” I said, offering Humphrey my paw to shake. “When the heat dies down.”
Humphrey gave me her sugar-coated smile as she accepted my paw. She turned to Judy next, offering her hoof.
“Take care, Jude?”
Judy looked up at the hoof and frowned. By her eyes, I could tell she was having a conversation with herself. Though I couldn’t say what it was about until she pushed past Humphrey’s arm and embraced her.
Out of everyone, it was Humphrey who was the most shocked by the sudden hug. I had never seen her composed smile break so thoroughly. Humphrey was unsure about what to do with her hooves and settled for patting Judy on the back. I smirked. Been there before.
“I’m sorry,” Judy whispered, though she faced away from Humphrey as she said it. “For all the trouble I gave you.”
“It’s, uh, it’s no problem at all, Jude.”
“Thank you for being there for me. I always appreciated it.”
Pigs and their obvious emotions. Humphrey’s face lit up like the red of a traffic light as Judy released her. No doubt a formal apology and thanks from Judy was low on the list of things Humphrey swore she’d ever see. I couldn’t say I was surprised. Judy had a habit of making miracles happen.
Judy broke from Humphrey and turned to the next one in line. Gideon.
He rubbed at the back of his head, trying to avoid eye contact. Looking around the audience for any help before braving to face the rabbit with a heavy sigh.
“Good, uh, good luck in the city, Jude.”
“Thank you. Good luck with the bakery, Gideon.”
He winced like someone who didn’t deserve praise. And then when she offered him her paw, I thought he was going to start crying.
Such a simple thing. A paw shake. A touch. I could only imagine the memories going through Gideon’s head. Throwing the rock and hiding like a craven in the bushes. Knowing he had almost killed someone. And now, Judy having the decency to wish him well. It was enough to get him sniffing as he released her paw.
I offered him a pat on the shoulder as we moved down the line. I whispered in his ear.
“Keep your nose dry, Gid.”
Travis and Angus stood quietly by watching the spectacle. It was more a surprise that Travis was being silent than it was for Angus. Of course, the ferret just had to open his mouth to ruin the silence.
“Figured you just forgot about us,” he said, on the verge of a snarl. “Played the show and took off before we could even get in a word with you.”
“Sorry, Travis,” Judy kept her ears low.
He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. You kept your end of the bargain. Got us a show. Paid well, played well. Played real well. Gideon was right, by the way. You have a good voice.”
I caught the glimpse of a blush on Judy’s ears, hidden behind her head. She was going to have to work on that if she planned on singing more. Travis was the one to offer his paw first.
“What are your plans for guitaring once you’re in the city?”
Judy accepted his shake, though hesitancy was in her voice.
“I, uh, haven’t thought about it yet. There was too much going on to consider—”
“I know some clubs you can play at,” Travis cut her off. “Spots with old contacts from friends I’ve met over the years. They’re always looking for talent as entertainment. But the city’s just too far away for us to commit to those kinds of gigs. If you were living there though…”
The ferret was speaking as fast as a used-car sales-mammal. Enough that Judy had a hard time keeping up.
“That’s, uh, that’s…”
“I’ll pass it along to Wilde’s number,” he finished, releasing her paw. “You can do with it what you want. I don’t care.”
“...Thanks, Travis.”
He just shrugged again and stepped back in line, behind his boyfriend. Angus was up next, arms crossed and brow down. He might have looked intimidating if we didn’t know him better. There was an offensive term used, particularly around wolf packs, about the permanent grimace he wore. Even when you could consider it a neutral, resting expression on him.
“You helped so much with getting me to play again,” Judy said. “You were always there for me in the band. And you never judged me.”
The giant coyote tilted his head indifferently. Not a peep to the last, huh?
Judy frowned and gestured for him to lean in close to her. Like she wanted to whisper something in his ear. Angus obeyed, bowing his massive head down and turning so his ear was in range for Judy to say something. Though that wasn’t her plan.
She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. The kind a princess gives the hero at the end of an old adventure movie.
“That was from Vivi. Thank you for believing in me, Angus. I would love to play with you again sometime.”
He stared at her for a moment and spoke.
“...I’d like to, as well.”
Five words. That’s all I ever heard from the coyote, so sudden that I didn’t even have time to process the deep tone of his voice. Angus gave a flustered nod and returned to standing straight. Though his dip in composure did not go unnoticed by his partner.
“What’s that dopey smile for?” asked Travis. “Don’t tell me you’re into rabbits again?”
Angus could only let out a deep, simple chuckle in response as Travis fussed at his side. I had to laugh at the sight of the odd couple. Though I knew full well that Judy and I weren’t much different from them.
Jack was the last in line. The angry, black dot on a slab of fluffy white wool.
“Don’t even think about kissing me,” he warned. “We’ll be seeing each other enough in the city, anyway.”
“I know we will. I just wanted to thank you.”
“I don’t need your thanks. Only your word. Remember what I told you and we’re good.”
I raised an eye to Judy and she pretended to ignore me.
“I promise.”
My last memory of Bunnyburrow 2010 would be of a pig, a fox, a ferret, and a coyote waving goodbye to us from the platform of the train station. Not a bad way to say farewell to a place.
One good thing about the late night trains was that there were few passengers on them. We basically had a whole car to ourselves, which let us break out the guitars to fiddle around with them and play. Much to Jack’s annoyance, of course, while he huddled over his seat and rocked back and forth. I was horribly out of practice compared to Judy. That only made the situation weirder when she had to stop what she was doing to give me some pointers on how to play better.
“There are so many levels of irony to this that it’s sickening,” I commented as she leaned over my shoulder to adjust my fingers on the fret.
“Don’t be such a baby. Sometimes you just forget the basic stuff.”
“I’m too young to be forgetting the basic stuff. But I suppose that is the benefit of a short term memory. You can enjoy the same things over and over. And I can think of worse things than being taught guitar again by a beautiful bunny.”
“Beautiful, huh?”
“Better than my first teacher, anyway. He was a hobo on the street corner with a lazy eye. Not exactly easy on the eyes, like you are.”
Jack groaned from his seat in the corner of the car, holding his stomach close. “If you two are gonna flirt, can you do it upstairs, at least?”
“We’re not flirting.”
“Sure you aren’t. Come on now, Nick. Get a room.”
Judy gave him a sneer and pulled me along before I could even process the meaning of his words. She led me up the stairs to the upper deck for some privacy with our guitars strapped to our backs.
“Well, he’s in a mood,” I said, rubbing the back of my head as we ascended the steps. “Wonder if he’s motion sick.”
“He hasn’t been on a train before?”
“Not really. This is the first time he’s been from home too. Same as you, I’m guessing. Don’t know how well Jack travels. You seem to be holding up though.”
Judy let out a puff of air through her nose as she stepped up to the window.
Outside the train was nothing but darkness. We were past the tri-burrow mountains, in the great gap of land between the southern farmlands and Zootopia itself. About a hundred miles of open fields and suburbs. And we had been on the train for over an hour. In about ten minutes, we’d be in the city limits. That would give us at least something to look at outside. Though my own view was pleasant enough with Judy next to me staring out into the night.
But there was a troubled frown on her face, mirrored in the reflection of the window.
“Everything is good, right?” I asked. “I can find you some water if you’re feeling sick.”
“I’m fine. Just...Not that kind of sick.”
Ah. Homesick. I could recall how long the two hour train ride into the burrows was for me all the way back in June. I had Jack texting me on my phone as some reminder of what I was leaving behind, keeping me company the whole way. I patted the pocket of my shorts where I kept my cellphone.
“Want to call your mom? She might appreciate the check-in.”
There was the slightest itch of longing to Judy’s eyes before she shook it off.
“No. Not yet. I’m not ready to talk to her.”
“Fair enough. Whenever you are, I have her number.”
There was a pause.
“Does that make me a bad person?” Judy asked, looking down at her feet. “That I don’t even want to think about them? That I just want to...Forget everything for a while?”
“No,” I answered with certainty. “I mean, it’s sad. Sure. But you need to do what’s best for you.”
We kept quiet again for a few more minutes. The train rumbling along the rails and the lights in cars flickering with the motions.
“I always thought about doing this,” she spoke up. “Buying a ticket. Going on my own to the city. Even if it was just for a day. Or a week. Running away from home for a little bit to see what it was like out here.”
“That sounds like you,” I said with a smile. “What stopped you?”
She gave my question some thought. “Mom, I guess. And the squirts. And...Just scared to on my own. I don’t know. It’s why I hooked up with Andrew for a while.”
Judy gazed out the window again, like she was trying to see something in the distance.
“When I was a kid,” she continued. “We were always told that Zootopia was this wonderful place where everyone got along and anyone could be anything. That anything we could imagine was possible so long as we put our minds to it and worked hard enough for it. I figured out that was a lie pretty quick.”
She shifted on her left hip.
“Didn’t stop me from still thinking about what it would be like to go there. Guess you could say that I always pictured it as a fairy tale. The magical kingdom, far far away. You know? Never thought I’d actually ever get to see it. And I didn’t want to see it unless I knew it meant I didn’t have to go home afterwards. You know? Like, it’d be so good there that I’d never want to go back, only to be disappointed when I’d have to face reality. And now it’s the opposite. Now that I’m here…”
I watched her place her paw on the window. Her body heat steamed up the glass, with the cold outside.
“...What if it’s not as amazing as I imagined it would be? What if it sucks? You said that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows there.”
“It’s not,” I said, gently grabbing at her free paw. “But that doesn’t make it any less beautiful. It’s far from perfect. But it’s perfect the way it is.”
Judy did a huffed laugh. “How poetic.”
“What can I say? I have a heart for broken things. And I’m not going to pretend it’s the most amazing place in the world. There’s things to watch out for. But there’s a lot of good things too. You’ll see. We'll see together.”
We continued to stare out the window. In the dark of the night, I could still recognize some of our surroundings as they flew by because of my eyesight. We were near the cliffs miles outside the city. I smiled and pointed out the window for Judy. Any moment and…
“Plus, it’s hard to argue with the view.”
At night, Zootopia was more like a beacon than a city. A million lights on one small mass of land, with the wilderness around it brightened from its very presence. This wasn’t even during the holidays, where that illumination would increase tenfold. Instead, the early fall skyline was a simple outline of every major building in the city, done up a calming yellow light. You couldn’t even see all the districts, even with all the flare. Only the impressions of buildings in the shadows a dozen miles away.
But the sight was still something to behold.
I glanced at Judy, still holding my paw. Her wide, purple eyes sparkling from the nightline, even at a distance.
“It’s like stars,” she whispered, her other paw still pressed up against the glass.
I chuckled. “Yeah. Home sweet home.”
Notes:
A chapter of farewells...This is the last time we'll see a few of these guys, in this story at least, so I wanted to give them a proper sendoff before we get into the city part of the story and conclude the falling action. A wild Marla appears next chapter!
Is anyone else doing NaNoWriMo this year, by the way? Working on the next fic I'd like to publish and hoping to have it ready and polished by October next year for the spoopy season!
Chapter 38: Track 38: “Swing Life Away”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It was a joy to be there and see Judy’s face as the train line wrapped around the city, into the very heart of Zootopia. I could remember the route along the tracks. Through the desert, past Tundratown, and along the downtown rooftops. The streets were like lively conduits of neon lights. Even at 11 PM at night, the city was far from asleep though I was certainly ready to pass out, still on my 10 PM to 6 AM sleep schedule.
There was one more mammal up well past her normal bedtime, even with a 5 AM shift coming up the following morning.
[Our train’s coming in now,] I sent out my text. [You there yet?]
[Sorry, sweetie. Running a little late.]
[No rush, mom. I’m sure Judy wants to take a look around the main square before we bring her right to the pits of the city.]
[Three months away from home and you’re already spoiled on country living. Jack said your apartment was like a mansion.]
[You know he likes to exaggerate. It was about as big as ours.]
I could get away with texting mom updates while Judy continued to stare out the window. I had gotten so used to the darkness of the burrows myself that the sight of the nightlife of the city was almost blinding. Everything had a golden hue about it, like a heavenly aura. It almost made Judy’s black attire of jeans and hoodie stand out. At least she was dressed warm for the city. Even inside the heated train, I could tell that there was a nip in the midnight air. Such was city life, with the cold from the tundra ripping around the steel buildings, like a horrible wind machine.
I only put down the phone when I noticed Judy’s nose start to twitch.
“You good?”
She almost didn’t even realize I was speaking until I gave her paw a tighter squeeze. “I’m good. Just...So many people. All in one place. It’s so loud.”
Loud was a good way to describe it. Though Judy’s commentary had more to do with her ears and the volume of mammals, whose vibrations you could actually feel through the train as it came to a stop. My complaints had more to do with the bright colors and light. Months in the burrow had adjusted my vision to darker hovels. Like I had adapted to my natural environment only to be brought back into the spotlight. It made me recall why I often carried around sunglasses when I lived in the city.
As the wheels of the train grinded to a complete stop, I snapped into action.
“Gotta be fast,” I said, gathering our bags. “The train won’t wait for you in the city.”
Jack was waiting for us below deck, looking green in the face and thankful to be stepping off the train. Sure enough, the second we got off, the doors slammed shut behind us and the cars hurried on down the track. We were faced with a mob of various mammals in front of us. Much different from the shorter crowd of rabbits and sheep I was accustomed to in the burrow. Certainly, there were a few of the larger types around the sticks, but nearly every mammal in the city was bigger than me. Sometimes bigger than the three of us combined.
“Where’s Marla?” Jack asked, glancing around for a flash of crimson fur in the crowd.
“Running late,” I muttered looking up at some of the billboards overhead. “That would explain it...There’s a concert tonight. Look.”
We found ourselves being stared down at by a rather large face of the new pop-artist, Gazelle. The words “First Zootopia Tour” were plastered at the bottom of the meters high monitor. I looked to see if Judy noticed Gazelle’s name only to find she had vanished from my side. She had walked to the middle of the train station, with the bustling of the city all around.
I stood by watching her, with a mixture of curiosity and wonder.
It was like I was witnessing something that was always meant to happen. She turned in a complete circle, ears twitching in every which direction. Taking in all the sights. All the sounds at once. Her face was neutral, but her eyes were wide and absorbing every little detail around her. She looked like the reason all of it was there.
Jack snapped me out of my staring with a sharp elbow to the side.
“There she is.”
Three months from home did little to change mom’s appearance, though she might complain about a few more grey hairs. She could still easily pass as someone in her thirties, despite being over the hill. Folks said we looked like siblings, though I still had my father’s eyes while hers were sky blue. She was also a head shorter than me, wearing a red knit sweater and black skirt. Like me with my red fur, she stood out like a burning torch in the crowd. Especially with her smile when she saw me.
I smiled back and put our bags to the ground as I walked up to embrace her.
“Hi, mom.”
“You got muscles,” she commented, squeezing my arm in her hug. “Here I was worried that you might have gotten fat with all that country food.”
“I doubt there’ll be any fat foxes in precinct one.”
“Only fat cheetahs,” Jack added as he stepped forward. “Good to see you again, Marla.”
“Oh, Jack. You make it sound like you haven’t seen me in months.”
“It certainly feels like that given the ordeal we’ve been through. Let’s just say it was far from a vacation.”
Mom chuckled and released me. She broke from smiling at me and looked around behind me, as if searching for something.
“So...Where is she? I can’t wait to meet her.”
I gestured by looking over my shoulder.
Judy was still standing in the middle of the train station, looking occupied. She had tourist written all over her face, despite her punk attire. The sort who would get lost if we let her wander. Or ‘easy money,’ as the hustlers of the streets would call her. It was enough to make mom cover her mouth to hide a laugh.
“She’s adorable.”
“I don’t think she would appreciate that, mom…”
“Oh, please. I think we’re both familiar enough with rabbits in our family to not make a fuss about such trivial things.”
That much was true. Ever since Jack had been ‘adopted’ by mom, the c-word that rhymes with fruit was banned from our vocabulary. Mom knew her way around all sorts of mammals from her forty two years growing up in the city. She dealt with all sorts everyday at her job as a waitress in the downtown. You didn’t get many large tips by calling bunnies cute or commenting on how big a beaver’s teeth were.
“Come on now,” she said, tugging at the sleeve of my T-shirt. “Introduce me.”
I'd be lying if I said that I wasn’t a little curious in seeing how this would play out. Mom was as giddy as a kid on Christmas morning. Judy, on the other paw, was too entranced by the sights of the city to even notice our approach until we were directly in front of her. When they met eyes, I could see the confusion in Judy’s face. Her processing was as slow as ever. She turned to me, then to mom, and then back to me.
“You have a sister?”
There was no better way into my mom’s good graces than to compliment her on her looks. Especially saying she looked younger than she really was. While Jack groaned in disgust next to me, mom busted out in a fit of giggles.
“Oh,” she said between each chuckle. “I like her already.”
Judy retreated into her hoodie, red at her ears. She had been spacing out so hard that she didn’t remember what I told her about mom and her age. I couldn’t help but share in her embarrassment. Mom had that habit on me too. I cleared my throat to try and bring some of the attention off Judy to give her time to collect herself.
“Mom this is Judy. Judy, mom. Try to, uh, try to keep the humiliating stories about me to a minimum. Okay?”
Mom stepped up first and offered her paw to Judy. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Judy.”
“Uh, likewise, ma’am.”
”Nick’s told me absolutely nothing about you, of course.”
“Well,” I replied, sheepishly rubbing the back of my head. “This was kind of a recent thing.”
“Now that’s just a flat out lie. I could see that train coming from a mile away. Ever since you told me about your first night in the burrows.”
I correctly guessed that Judy might find that comment as embarrassing as I did. I wondered if she was starting to regret coming to the city already. She put on a brave face, keeping straight and shaking mom’s paw. But it was still the most flustered I had ever seen her. Leave it to mom to accomplish that...
“You say that about everyone I meet though,” I said with a dismissive wave. “Everyone’s absolutely the perfect mate for your son. Last year it was the new vixen working the night shift at the diner.”
“There’s something special about this one. I can tell.”
To some relief, mom finally released Judy’s paw. Judy was looking more and more like cornered prey at the mercy of a vicious predator. Mom was like a zealous priestess of warmth and comfort when it came to house guests. The holy matron of hospitality. And she was far from finished with her crusade to make Judy feel at home, if I knew anything about her. I did try to warn her...
”You must be hungry after such a long journey. What do you say we head home and I fix us some dinner?”
“Mom, it’s almost midnight.”
“Some late night snacks then?”
“And you have work at 5 AM,” I groaned before glancing behind me for my backup. “Jack, help me out here.”
“You should get some rest, Marla. You have all weekend to torture them. And I think we could all use some sleep.”
A compelling argument as always, Jack . He always was one to appeal to mom’s more sadistic side. Though it seemed to work judging by mom’s heavy sigh.
“Alright, alright. You two are no fun. Honestly, you’d think I raised a couple of killjoys.”
I detected Judy let out a soft sigh of relief the moment my mom’s back was turned to her. I read her lips as she mouthed a message for me. Thank you. Ten minutes into Zootopia and we were already overwhelmed...What exactly had we gotten ourselves into?
I had reason to believe that no one who lived in Zootopia actually owned a car. Too expensive, what with parking being unreasonable. It was much easier to walk, catch a bus, or hail a cab. While home was not far from the train station, we didn’t feel like dragging our luggage for a dozen blocks. So, taking the bus home it was. Even though it might have been quicker with the traffic on the street.
Judging by the various pop T-shirt and glow sticks our fellow passengers were sporting, I guessed the Gazelle concert had just ended and folks were heading home for the evening. They certainly made for some loud company as we jammed packed into the narrow bus. One group of kids Judy’s age were singing what I assumed was the latest hit for the pop artist. Albeit poorly. I suddenly appreciated even Pain Kettle’s old lyricist, though the kids sounded slightly inebriated.
Judy didn’t seem to mind the noise. She was more fascinated with the outside as the city whizzed by.
“You’re better than them,” I whispered in her ear.
“Huh?” She asked before glancing around and blushing at my comment. “Oh. Sure. I guess…”
I let out a low chuckle. “I never did ask, but where did you learn to sing like that?”
“I, uh, used to be a part of the theater crew when I went to school. You know, like going on stage and stuff for plays. I liked singing, so I always volunteered for those parts when there was a chance to. The teacher showed me a few tricks and I’ve always liked music so...I’d practice on my own.”
“In the quiet of the night when no one was around?”
“Yeah. I like the quiet.”
The ride home took twice as long as it normally would have, with the heavy traffic blocking up the lights. Plenty of angry horns blaring outside the window too. And the bus only got more packed with each stop it made. It was past midnight when we finally arrived at our stop. Mercury Street.
Little had changed about the old haunt, even in the dark of the night. We lived off the much more eventful Armstrong Street, which had a majority of the local shops for food and other goods. Our bus even passed the old guitar store, still under management by that panda that smelled like hemp. None of the stores were open at this hour. Maybe I’d show Judy around tomorrow depending on what we were doing. Bed was calling me for now.
We came to an old brick building, marked with the year of its construction in the one slab of concrete in the foundation. 1928. It was one of the oldest buildings in downtown Zootopia. Back when the city was undergoing massive expansion following a great war. I was never much for paying attention to history lessons. It only reached seven stories high and had a stoop covered in potted gardens managed by the tenants. People often knew our apartment building for the pretty purple glass in the windows. I had come to understand that it was a phenomenon with old colorless glass. Sitting in the sunlight too long caused some sort of chemical reaction that changed the glass’s color to a shade of violet. But to me, it was just a quirk that came with home.
Our place was at the very top, room seven thirteen. There was no elevator, making it a long climb up the rickety stairs. That was part of the reason why I always preferred to travel light. My nostril was greeted with the familiar scent of moths and cobwebs and the wood creaked between my toes. Muscles or not, I had gained more weight than when I had last been home.
The instant mom opened the door with her key, the aroma of cinnamon spice filled the air. I had forgotten how much I missed the smells of a cozy home. In the corner of the room, the bells of the grandfather clock rattled with our passing. The apartment welcomed us with a comforting shade of maroon as a color scheme. Mom was something of a collector of antiques where she could find them on the cheap side. The apartment was made up of furniture almost as old as the building itself. Shaggy rugs covered up the hardwood floor and decorative porcelain statues of various animals stared at us upon our entry with dopey smiles on their frozen faces. Nostalgia was the only word I could think of when describing home to someone. It was like a moment stuck in time. Even what was supposed to be white in the apartment had turned a soft yellow with age and dust.
It was a two bedroom apartment, complete with a living room that gave way to the kitchen and one bathroom.
“Are you okay with the couch tonight, Jack?” Mom asked as she removed her pocketbook.
“Yeah, that’s fine, Marla. I don’t feel like walking back to the Meadowlands at this time of night. I’ll just pass out and take the T into work tomorrow.”
And he did just that, not even bothering to change out of his clothes before he was out cold, face down on the plush sofa in the living room.
“I’ve already made your bed, sweetie,” mom continued, turning to me. “I left out extra sheets and the blow-up mattress too. In case you need it.”
“We won’t. But thanks, mom.”
There was a glint in her eyes as she shut the door to her room. I caught her smirk at the last second. It occurred to me that I might have revealed more about our relationship that I cared to yet admit to my mom. But that was a conversation for the morning. After all the excitement and walking around the city, I was ready to pass out just like Jack.
I showed Judy the way to the second bedroom of the apartment. My old room.
You’d think mom was keeping a museum display with how untouched everything was inside. There was the single wicker bed that had been in the room since as long as I could remember. I could recall it feeling so huge to me as a child, though now that I was an adult it felt tiny. Though still roomy enough to suit the both of us. Better than sleeping in the drawers of my dresser, a giant wad of oak meant to be for an elephant. One little trick we small mammals had learned was that you could get more bang for your buck if you shopped at places for the larger mammals. The walls were peppered with pinprick holes from various posters I had hung up and torn down over the years. There was an old vanilla scented candle on the nightstand to fight the musty smell and give everything a more homely feel.
I put down my guitar at the desk in the corner. The simple table was like a second best friend for me growing up. I would use it for everything when romping around the apartment. From drawing on it to using it as a makeshift fortress with some of the pillows off the couch. As with everything in the room though, it felt smaller than when I was last there.
“Sorry about this,” I said to Judy. “Once I get a few weeks' pay, we can start looking for our own place to stay.”
“No, this is fine.”
It occurred to me that those were the first words Judy had uttered since arriving at the apartment. She had on a neutral face, like she wasn’t sure what to make of our new temporary home. Halfway between a smile and a frown.
“How you holding up? This is a lot of change.”
Judy responded by dropping everything she was carrying, save for her guitar, to the floor.
I gave her a moment as she looked around the room, sorting through the old memories of my childhood. I’m proud to say I had nothing majorly embarrassing on display outside of the odd stuffed animal or a toy from the 90’s. My trophy display was empty of its namesake, foxes didn’t tend to get many awards, after all. Though there was a picture of my academy graduation with me, mom, and Jack in the image. Judy’s gaze lingered on the picture before turning to me.
“Adjusting. This is...Not what I expected.”
“Sorry. We don’t live in a fancy mansion on Garden Street. You should see Jack’s space though. I can touch opposite walls with both my arms, it’s so small.”
Judy huffed and sat at the edge of my bed. I heard the familiar creak of the wicker wood. I gave her a moment to collect herself and her thoughts before I joined her.
“But we’re not talking about living space, are we?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Just...It’s hitting me that this is going to be my home for awhile. And, don’t hate me for this but...This doesn’t feel like home yet.”
I frowned but nodded. “That’s fair enough. Can’t expect you to get comfortable instantly.”
“It doesn’t help that it feels like I don’t have a home to go back to either in the burrow. You know? Like...What if this doesn’t end up working and I have nowhere else to—”
Judy stopped talking suddenly and grabbed at my paw before I could even process what she had said.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” she assured me by looking right into my eyes. “About us not working. I think...I know that we can make us work. I’m talking about a job and everything. I’ve never done anything like this before. Even though I always thought about it. Like, there’s no safety net. If I can’t support myself then...I really don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“Welcome to being an adult. Sucks doesn’t it?”
“Yeah...I guess they lie to you in school too, huh? It’s not all about just following your dreams. Gotta work for it.”
I chuckled and squeezed at her paw for reassurance.
“Mom said she’d ask around the diner if they need any help, which will at least get you a part time job. It won’t be glamorous, but it’ll be something. And I don’t think you ever have to worry about going hungry. Mom would never allow that, even if we weren’t dating.”
I warmed up a bit when she gave another soft laugh. Though her eyes were still uncertain.
“I just,” she continued. “Don’t want to have to rely on you and your family for everything. That’s not why I wanted to come to the city.”
Judy went quiet again and nudged off the strap for Josie. I helped her set up the ironwood in her lap, it’s glaring red imperfection staring back up at us.
“Did Travis send you those contacts he mentioned yet?”
“Not yet. But I can badger him when you’re ready.”
“Thanks,” Judy gripped the guitar tighter. “I’m gonna try my hardest. Practice harder. Work harder. I want to play music for a living.”
I knew from experience just how hard that choice of career could be. Despite the long road ahead of Judy, I gave her a toothy grin.
“Well, if there’s anyone who can do it, it’d be you.”
We woke up to an empty apartment at around 7 AM. Or rather, I woke up on my own.
Judy had vanished somewhere in the night, though I had a hunch where she had gone by the open door and the sounds of music.
I stepped out into the living room to find her on the couch, playing on Josie with her headphones on. Standing in the doorway in nothing but my underwear, I crossed my arms and waited for her to finish, knowing full well that she saw me by the nod she gave in my direction.
“Couldn’t sleep,” she mumbled without looking up. “Came out when I heard Jack and your mom leave for work.”
“Didn’t pop out to say hello?”
“That’d be weird,” she said as she took off the headphones to fully listen to me. “And I don’t want to see what happens if you leave me alone in a room with your mom yet.”
“I did try to warn you. She’s very excited to finally meet you. Absolutely frothing at the mouth. I’m actually surprised she didn’t bake you a carrot cake in preparation. Want me to tell her to cool it?”
Judy went quiet for a moment. “I mean, I guess I don’t mind. I’m just...Not used to the attention.”
The good kind, anyway. I imagined after coming from a place where everyone assumed Judy was up to no good as a punk, it was a very jarring clash to suddenly be welcomed so openly.
“Hungry?” I asked.
“Starving.”
“Well, if you don’t mind waiting for me to do a quick run, I know where we can fill up.”
Jogging around the city was loads more interesting than it was in the burrow. I almost didn’t need to bring along my music with me as I explored my old haunts with the side objective of planning things I could show Judy on our weekend together. I navigated the entire downtown area before turning back and collecting Judy to head out for breakfast.
Mom worked at one of the best diners in the area, if their eggs spoke for themselves. And there was no better way I could think of to introduce Judy to Zootopia than through the food. The path to the heart was through the stomach, after all.
They called it the Zoot Suit. It was a small diner, made from the remains of an old elephant-sized trailer dumped into one of the empty lots between the buildings. The owner had done everything he could to refurbish the space into something that vaguely felt like a real diner. From tearing out the seats to expanding the place to include a tiny restroom. Though the insides still carried signs of the old vehicle in the way the ceiling dipped at the corners. Mom liked it for how close it was to the apartment. Just a hop and a skip away from Mercury Street.
The scent inside was enough of a distraction from the minor details though. A big greasy fry up, enough that you could literally taste the oil on your lips the moment you walked in. Though, deep down, I knew I was just torturing myself with my new diet. The big change since I was last there.
“What can I get for you folks?” asked a young antelope doe, a new waitress that I didn’t recognize. “The Zoot Stack is popular today.”
“Oh,” I muttered, not even looking at the menu. “That sounds good, but I’ll just have some plain oatmeal and some grapefruit.”
Bland and sour. Not exactly something to wake up to. Especially when the Zoot Stack was one of my favorite dishes. It was an unhealthy combination of fried potatoes between three separate canine-safe-chocolate waffles, drizzled in maple syrup. They even added a little flag on top of the ‘tower’ for decoration. But I resisted the temptation to cheat with my first day on the job coming so close. Needed to keep that resolve.
“I’ll take a Zoot Stack,” Judy said, putting down her menu.
I gave her a fake glare as the waitress walked away with our orders. “You’re pure evil.”
She just smiled and shrugged. “Not my fault you’re on a diet. And I said I was hungry.”
I chuckled while Judy kept to her fresh coffee. I was left with a glass of cold water, the fifth of ten I would have over the course of the day. I took the moment to glance around the diner and see who else was joining us for breakfast.
There were the regulars, a various cavalcade of mammals ranging from mice to hippos. I caught my mom taking folks orders in the opposite corner. Despite it being a few months since my last visit, the other workers still recognized me and knew not to assign her to me. The diner was like an assembly line after all. And if we held mom up with chit chat, folks would get cranky by the slow service. It was the morning rush, and most patrons were in a hurry to get into the office in time. Part of the appeal of the diner was the ability to get in and out in under thirty minutes. Everyone around us was in the humdrum of their comings and goings.
Even the arctic hare stepping inside for his morning donut and carrot tea.
“Well, someone’s taking his morning break early,” I muttered as I waved Jack over to our seat.
He plopped down next to Judy with his donut in a brown bag and his tea in paw. Jack did his best to not acknowledge her.
“Finally up, huh?” He asked, sipping at his tea. “You know I can’t be dragging you out of bed once your job starts. You’re not in the sticks anymore. Gotta be held accountable.”
“Good morning to you too.”
“What are you two doing today anyway with your weekend off? Seeing the sights?”
“I was going to apply here, actually,” Judy announced, stating our second reason for coming to the diner.
“And after that we don’t know,” I finished. “Any ideas, mister big city cop?”
“The way you two were flirting on the train, I figured you’d want to have some alone time for hanky panky more than sightseeing.”
I let out a hacking cough from water that went down the wrong tube, allowing Judy to back me up with sharp words of her own for Jack.
“You’re just jealous.”
“Oh, please. Some of us just have work today. We don’t all get to laze about with nothing to do. I just wanted to tell you to not stay out too late if you do go out exploring. Marla’s got the idea to throw a little dinner party tonight for you two. A sort of welcome home meal, since she missed last night.”
“She knows I’m on a diet, right?” I asked. “I’ve told her that. You’ve told her that, right?”
“Don’t know, don’t care.”
I groaned. So much for watching what I eat today.
“Just be home by seven,” Jack said with a shrug, sipping at his tea. “I gotta run to make the bullpen.”
“Save me a spot for Monday.”
I waved him off just as our food arrived. Ten minutes flat. The chefs must have been in the zone with a crowded Saturday, not helped by all the families around us too. The talk of a big dinner that awaited us didn’t put me in the mood for the gummy oatmeal in front of me and I looked on enviously at Judy’s plate.
I didn’t even notice the slight frown on her face until I glanced up.
“So,” I said when she didn’t touch her food. “Any place you want to go in particular today?”
“Huh?” Judy looked as if she had broken from a trance. “Oh. I don’t know. Wherever.”
“Don’t tell me you’re letting what Jack said bother you. His bark is worse than his bite. Even though he put a sizable divot in my arm when we got into a fight with each other as kids.”
She huffed a slight laugh. “Not what he said, no...I don’t know. It’s stupid.”
“It’s not—”
“Don’t say it,” she interrupted me with a smirk. “I guess I’m a little...Jealous? Of him, I guess. And you. Going to work at a place I’ve always wanted to since I was a kid. I mean, I’m so happy for you that you get to do this. But it still hurts a little. You know?”
“Yeah,” I returned a sad smile to her.
I should have known that all the police talk would probably get Judy down. Especially while she was feeling homesick. I thought for a minute, stirring up my oatmeal to create an idea on how to make it easier for her.
Then it hit me.
“I know where we can go first.”
Though there were police stations in each district of Zootopia, precinct one was located at the very heart of the city. Central Savanna. For us, it was a short bus drive there, fighting the morning rush, something that I was probably going to have to get used to. Better than it was for Jack, who lived on the other side of Central in the Meadowlands, literally the most popular place to live in the city. I’d have to remember to find us a closer place to stay. It’d also help with Judy’s limp.
On the way, we passed by some of the worst the city had to offer. That was the consequence of coming in from the downtown area. Rundown shops with wooden planks in the windows. A few mammals digging through the trash cans. There would be a lot of that before Central.
“It’s different in the day,” Judy commented, staring out the bus window at the sights.
“Yeah, you can see more of the real city. Not the worst life, living on the street. The trick is to find a spot near the desert district to sleep for the cold nights. The heaters there are a blessing, especially in winter. And there are some known places that give out old food to the homeless at certain hours of the day. You can eat for free if you know what you’re doing. And have a bit of luck.”
“Like you?”
I chuckled, thinking back to my days busking.
“I think I’m happier with the stability in my life. Knowing where my next meal is coming from and all that. But you don’t grow up in the city without knowing that fine line between poverty and homelessness. I was also stubborn, trying to make it on my own without the help from mom or Jack. That was dumb in hindsight. No one can fully do it on their own. A lesson I wish I learned sooner.”
The bus passed from out of the tunnel and, just like that, the city brightened up with the open space between the buildings.
I had only been to central station once with Jack on his first day. Little had changed about it in the last few years. It was still the same pristine building I remembered it being, with trim grass growing on its roof and the many, many steps to the front. I wondered how any police officer could stay out of shape with all the walking they’d have to do on a daily basis. I had also heard from Jack about the personal gym inside the building, which had me excited. I could finally start pushing myself beyond what flimsy thirty pound dumbbells could manage.
All was quiet on the steps into precinct one, save for a lone busker playing at a fair distance away to not be a disturbance to the station itself. A few latecomer officers were bobbing up the steps, not paying the busker much attention. And there was little other through traffic. Not the best location to play, man.
Judy stared at the building for a while, before turning her attention on the busker.
I wasn’t paying him much mind. He looked more like an inexperienced college student type, just out on the street trying to earn extra money to pay for tuition. He was a hyena about Judy’s age. It might have been why she was more focused on him than the actual building in front of us. He played the violin well enough. Enough that Judy threw the few coins from our breakfast change into his bucket.
“This is smaller than I thought it would be,” she said as she bundled up into her hoodie. Though it wasn’t chilly out, the wind between the buildings could cut to the bone.
“Yeah, I thought so too the first time I saw it. Not exactly the epic castle the stories make it out to be. Could use a drawbridge too. And a lava moat.”
“You’ve been hanging around Jack too much,” Judy muttered, hiding her smirk by burying herself further into her jacket. “Know where your office is yet?”
“Nope. Going in blind on Monday. No idea what to expect or what will happen. I’m guessing parking duty, given that’s what they had Jack doing for a month. But I can dig it. Better than being stuck in an office with paperwork all day.”
“You’re not nervous at all?”
“I mean, a little,” I replied, rubbing the back of my head. “But I think that’s a good thing too. This is something new and different. But that doesn’t mean I have to be afraid of it. The nerves will keep me focused. And if I screw something up then, oh well. It happens. This is just the next chapter of my life. And I’m going to give it my all come Monday. It’ll probably be weird and uncomfortable for awhile, sure. But, after some adjustments, I think I can like a job like that.”
The busker nearby played with new fervor, having received his first tip of the day. Judy continued to stare between him and the police station, shifting her gaze with each note. She sighed and turned away from it all.
“Did you text Travis about his contacts yet?”
“Not yet,” I admitted. “I can do that now, if you’d like.”
“Could you? And do you mind if we check out some of the places he tells us about?”
I gave her a warm smile to melt through the chilly winds of the city. “If that’s what you want to do today, then let’s do it.”
“It is. I’m ready to start.”
Notes:
Ironically I'm traveling at the moment of posting this chapter, so I guess you could say it's a mood. I'm hoping the themes of this final bit of story hit their mark as Judy tries to get more comfortable in the city, with Nick helping her where he can!
To my American friends, have a good Thanksgiving and there will be a chapter waiting for you the next day!
Chapter 39: Track 39: “Heaven Knows”
Notes:
Apologies for the lateness of this chapter. The craziness of the holiday has left me a little swamped. Just made it before end of Friday though!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Travis got back to me quicker than I thought he would. Following a quick lunch back at mom’s apartment, our afternoon was spent hitting up the clubs and restaurants around the city. There were many establishments that even I hadn’t been to. Some didn’t allow foxes, which Judy turned her nose up at immediately. All the while, she kept her paw in mine as we walked the streets together. That caused more than a few heads to turn. Even in someplace as progressive as the city, the sight of a fox and a bunny being together wasn’t exactly kosher in a few circles. Judy took that in stride though and didn’t release me.
“If I don’t care what my dad thinks, do you really think I’m going to let a bunch of strangers bother me?”
It was certainly amusing to ruffle some feathers. We had never gotten the pleasure of exposing our relationship publically in the burrows due to always hiding things from the mayor. It was rather refreshing to be out in the open and not caring who saw us. Most of the places we went to turned Judy down for various reasons: they already had their entertainment, they didn’t want a guitar player, or they didn’t want a rabbit performing for them. Those later places were the more colorful of the bunch, and we left them with sour words. But I never saw Judy lose her hope with any of them. And there were places that offered her work too.
A fair amount of them wanted to see Judy perform and scheduled dates in the future for her to stop by and prove her talent, her having nothing other than her performance at the Labor Day party to serve as a reference. One classic rock grill, however, was particularly desperate in their need for a musician.
“They want you to play tomorrow?” I asked with some surprise when Judy stepped out of the building.
“Yup,” she replied, smirking at her success. “Apparently they have a big crowd coming in for the Sunday races and their usual player called out sick. No questions asked. Though it is only temporary.”
“Fair enough, I suppose. It’ll help you build a reputation, at least. Work your way up.”
“That’s the plan. You think it’s a good idea?”
“It’s certainly how I would have gone about it,” I glanced over to the establishment’s sign.
It was known as the Yard House, one of the more upscale horse bars in central. The sort a fox would typically never be able to get into. But the owner was nice enough, or begrudgingly accepting enough, to not make a fuss with my presence.
“But should I do it?”
“You do what you want to do. But if you’re looking to make a name for yourself, being in the ear of as many mammals as you can find is a good way to go about it. Even if they stiff you on the bill, it’ll be a good lesson to learn.”
“I’m not worried about money yet. Mom gave me a little cash before I left. Plus, there’s other places to perform at. And my application to the diner. This is just practice to see how it goes.”
I smiled and nodded. “Testing the waters. I get it.”
Though it wasn’t cold enough to see our breath, the early evening brought with it a cutting chill, like the promise of a bitter winter. However, it was a satisfying day, all things considering. And I more than made up for my lack of exercise equipment by walking around the city with Judy. But even she was starting to rub at her hip. Not to mention it was past six and getting dark.
“We should probably head back.”
“Did you ever play at any clubs? You only ever mentioned busking.”
“Foxes tend not to be the first choice for higher class entertainment. We’re not considered as approachable to others in the same way a rabbit is, even in the city. So, I got sidelined more than a few times before I gave up and stuck to the streets.”
“That’s so unfair.”
“Life’s not fair, as one particular bunny once told me.”
Mercury Street was alive with folks coming back home to their families. The monotone music of the average workday had come undone to a panicked race to the finish. And the lights of cars and buses danced all around us in an ever darkening world. It was my favorite kind of night. The kind where you knew you were coming home to good company after a long day. Even with the troubled bunny limping next to me.
“It doesn’t bother me,” I assured Judy with a smile. “Not anymore. Sure, it kept me to the streets. But now, I’m happy with what I’m doing and know why I’m doing it. Besides, at the end of the day, it’s who you go back home to that’s most important.”
We stepped up the stairs and into the rickety halls of the apartment building. The walls were so thin that you could hear just about every family settling in for the night. Some were more boisterous than others. Some could hardly be called a family. But it was still comforting all the same as we approached the seventh floor and the thirteenth room.
“See? There they are,” called Jack, the moment we walked in the door. He dropped his voice to a whisper as he approached us. “She wanted me to call you.”
I rolled my eyes a bit as I removed my jacket.
Home was like walking into a bakery. I could recognize the scent of mom’s blueberry pie anywhere, a delicacy since I was thirteen. Though the dessert was overpowering, that was far from the only thing being cooked. At the table, I spied a big bowl of mashed potatoes, steamed carrots for Jack and Judy, cranberry sauce, vegetable stuffing, garlic bread, and, thankfully, a salad for me. Mom must have been preparing the dinner since I told her we were coming home.
“Thanksgiving came early,” I muttered as I took a seat at the table.
“Oh, hush you,” said mom, stepping out of the kitchen with her oven mitts and the pie. “There’s plenty of reason for this dinner. You missed our Founder’s Day barbecue. And you both were out for Labor Day, leaving me completely alone. Plus, we have a guest tonight. I need to impress.”
“What? Do you have some sort of list written out of excuses to use for a big dinner?”
“It’s a secret.”
Judy and I took our seats in our own corner. It was rare for the dining table to fill all four seats and mom even brought out the good napkins for just the occasion. Once you had been to one of mom’s big dinners, you knew what to expect. But Judy was shifting in her seat as she stared at all the food. It was unreasonable to expect the four of us to eat everything. There'd be leftovers for the next week.
“Eat big and live out of the fridge,” said mom as she placed the carrots directly in front of Judy. “That’s what I always say.”
“That’s just your excuse so we don’t have takeout every night, mom.”
“I can’t be cooking meals everyday, sweetie. You know that. As much as I would love to do nothing but stay at home all day and pamper you, I have work too.”
I chuckled and dug into my peppered potato salad. Not the healthiest, but I could get away with it. I had done enough walking in the day to cheat a little. The rest of the table did the song and dance of passing around the food. Judy was no stranger to big dinners, though in not quite so small of a space.
“Tell me about your own mother, Judy,” said mom as she brushed paws with her upon passing the bread. “Does she suffer the same abuse as I do with these two?”
I furrowed my brow but kept on chewing. If it was obvious enough to me that mom was trying to win some ground with Judy, I knew that it would be clear to Judy as well. Though mom couldn’t have known that family was a touchy subject for Judy in the moment.
“I, uh, I don’t know…”
“Bunnies often have big families, don’t they? How many brothers and sisters do you have?”
“Three hundred and eight...”
“My goodness. That’s quite a horde. I’d imagine our small little gathering here seems quaint in comparison.”
“No, it’s wonderful, ma’am. Really. Thank you.”
“And I’m sure my cooking probably can’t stack up to something homemade from the burrows. But I hope the carrots are, at least, to your liking. I know they’re Jack’s favorite.”
“Not all rabbits like carrots, Marla.”
“I happen to,” Judy said, taunting Jack with a forkful. ‘And they’re very good. Thank you, Miss Wilde.”
“Oh, please, dear. You can call me Marla.”
“Am I the only one here who doesn’t get to call you by your first name?” I asked, feigning annoyance.
“I didn’t spend twenty six years raising you for you to go around calling me Marla. You are my son. You call me mom. The same goes for if I had any other children.”
“You basically raised Jack and he gets away with it.”
“Don’t drag me into this, dude.”
"Honestly,” mom let out an exaggerated huff. “Judy, do you go around calling your mother by her first name?”
Judy eased back into her chair a little more. “She’d be pretty much in agreement with you, yeah.”
“See? Judy agrees with me, dear.”
“She only said her mother agreed with you,” I corrected. “And you’re kind of putting words in her mouth with your argument.”
“Don’t try to fast talk your way out of this, young man. Who do you think gave you that silver tongue? Hm?”
Growing up as a fox in the city, you had to learn quickly that in order to even speak to some mammals, you had to know how to approach them. Mom had over forty years of experience working all sorts of jobs across the city. If I was going to say I was good at reading people, mom was definitely an expert. I caught Judy smiling out of the corner of my eye, her shoulders less tense than when we sat down.
“I know what we should do,” said mom, clapping her paws together. “We should play one of those board games Jack has after dinner.”
There was a coy smirk on my lips as we moved down the table to embarrass the hare on the other end. In addition to his Dogs and Dragons campaign, Jack was something of a collector of all sorts of tabletop games that he had mom and I play on the occasion. That was something he didn’t particularly like to share with folks, considering the geek stereotype attached to such activities. Not even his co-workers knew about his more eccentric hobbies. They’d never let him hear the end of it.
Jack spent years mastering how to control his expressions. But I could always tell by the twitch in his left eye when something bothered him. And, sitting across from me, he was blinking like the warning lights of a car.
“Relax, Jack,” I said, knowing full well I was playing with fire. “Judy already knows you’re a nerd.”
“It’s true,” Judy nodded along. “You are a massive nerd.”
Jack crossed his arms. “You both suck.”
“Now, now,” mom interrupted before Jack dropped into one of his moods. “They didn’t mean anything by it, Jack.”
“I know. Just doesn’t help that there’s two of them now.”
“We’d be happy to play Mammalpoly or whatever, man,” I offered as a white flag of truce. “Right, Judy?”
“Sure, I’m game.”
“Jack’s a cheat,” Judy said later as we lounged in my bedroom following supper.
Judy was laid out on the bed, having stuffed herself silly with most of mom’s cooking. Even with her extra mouth, we hardly made a dent in the food supply.
“Everyone who plays with him says that,” I replied with a shrug, taking a moment to unpack now that we weren’t doing anything. “He’s been blessed with some unnatural good luck in games and stuff. Mom’s always offering to take him to Las Vegoose for the slots. But he thinks gambling is a tax on the stupid . Quote unquote.”
“Your mom’s right. He is a killjoy.”
I just chuckled and continued unpacking my clothes.
It had been a long day and it was nice to end it doing something quaint. Even Judy seemed to be getting comfortable with Jack, when the two weren’t at each other’s throats. Mom played the mediator well enough, reading each potentially problematic situation accurately and diffusing it in her own way.
I had forgotten how much I missed simple family moments when in the burrow. It was good to be home.
“Hey, Nick.”
“Hm?”
“Can I borrow your phone for a minute?”
“Sure,” I said, digging it up from my pocket and tossing it on the bed. “Something wrong?”
“Not exactly. Not yet, anyway. I was...Gonna call mom.”
“Ah,” I said. Should have guessed all this stuff would make her more homesick.
Judy stared at the screen for a full minute before letting out a deep breath and whispering under her breath. “...Alright, what’s the worst that can happen?”
I pretended to keep my paws busy sorting through clothes, but I was hanging on Judy’s every word as she let the dial ring. Her breathing halted suddenly when I heard a soft voice answer on the other line.
“Hi, mom.”
“No, I’m fine. We got to the city safely.”
“Yeah, they’re really nice. And it’s been fun. I even got a gig for tomorrow with the guitar.
“Yeah, I know. It’s been great.”
“I miss you too.”
It was getting harder and harder to keep from smiling. I did my best by turning away from Judy to give her some privacy. There you go, Bonnie. Kept my word.
“...Is everything okay?” Judy asked.
“Because you just sound a little sad.”
“Well, if it’s upsetting you, mom, I wanna know what...”
“...Oh my god.”
My ears perked at Judy’s sudden outburst as she sat up in my wicker bed straighter. A serious pose for her darker tone of voice.
“When did this happen?”
“...Is he okay?”
“Jeez. Oh god, mom. You should have called. I would have…”
“Of course I would have!”
“I can still…”
“Alright, alright…”
Judy lept from the bed and took to pacing around the room. I followed her with a troubled frown.
“Are you going to be okay?”
“How’s everyone else doing?"
“Well, is there anything I can do?”
“...Okay...Right.”
“I understand. I’m not going to.”
“...I love you too, mom.”
“...Bye.”
Judy embraced me the moment she hung up the phone. The five minute conversation had turned her into a quivering mess of grey fur. I could only guess at what they had talked about and let her calm herself down with a few deep breaths before she explained herself.
“...Dad had a heart attack.”
“Oh, jeez,” I muttered, realizing just how serious things were. “Is he…?”
“He’s alright now,” she responded, sniffing a bit. “I mean, as alright as you can be after a heart attack. They’re keeping him in the hospital for a few days. Mom just got back after spending all last night with him. Someone needs to keep an eye on the squirts...”
By the way Judy’s voice trailed, I could sense exactly what was on her mind. “It’s not your fault.”
“The day I leave the burrow, this happens. How is it not my fault?”
“He was looking pretty pale when I last saw him,” I answered, leading Judy to the bed. “If anything, it had to do with working himself too hard with the stress at his job. You remember what he said about business with other mammals, right? And he’s not exactly the picture of health.”
“I guess. But mom dealing with that all on her own...”
She sat in my lap frowning a hole in the wall as we stayed on the edge of the bed. I kept her close and tried to think of something to lighten her load.
“...Would it help if I left you alone for awhile?”
Judy thought for a moment and stared at the guitars in the corner of the room.
“It would help if I had something to keep me busy,” she answered.
“Make some noise?”
“Your mom said that they’d be willing to hire me at the diner starting Monday, if I wanted to clean tables. That’ll cover the weekdays. And nights...I can play at bars until I come up with something. And there’s tomorrow night at the Yard House…”
She sat up suddenly and reached for the acoustic.
“I just need to keep busy. Can I borrow your guitar again? For the show?”
“Of course.”
Judy spent most of Sunday locked in the bedroom practicing on the acoustic to get familiar with it again. She had to impress for the show tonight if she wanted to keep getting work as a musician, after all. I probably could have sat in and watched, but I didn’t want to disturb her. She was looking for a distraction and I couldn’t help in that regard without being an annoyance. Besides, it being Sunday, mom had her morning off and was more than happy to catch up with me. The good news and the bad.
“Oh, dear,” she said upon me telling her about Judy’s father. “Is she going to be okay?”
“Hard to say,” I muttered while staring into the mug of coffee mom had made for me. The smell was great, but it reminded me of a cup of hot mud. “We didn’t exactly leave the burrow on the greatest of terms. And their family relationship is strained, to say the least.”
“I wish you had told me all this before I asked questions about them, sweetie.”
“It didn’t seem like something I could just bring up out of the blue… Hey, mom. So, Judy’s basically been exiled by her father. That’s a laugh, right? ”
“If you ask me, patriarchs are so unnecessary in the family unit anyway.”
“Given what I’ve seen the past three months, I’m sort of glad you and dad never tried to make things work when you had me.”
I frowned at the murky reflection of myself in my drink.
“I barely know what I’m doing here,” I admitted. “What with trying to comfort Judy over everything. I keep worrying that I’m going to mess something up. Especially after everything she’s given up to be here.”
“It sounds like you’re doing fine, sweetie.”
“I guess. This is just heavy stuff. And then with that phone call yesterday…”
Both of our ears twitched at the sound of Judy starting up another round of song on the acoustic. She had been going at it since everyone had woken up. She didn’t even come out for breakfast.
“I’ve already done plenty of stupid stuff around her trying to figure things out,” I confessed. “Like the time I forced her into an electrical guitar. And I really, really don’t want to mess things up again like that.”
“How does one even force someone to play guitar? What? Did you strap her down to a chair and not let her leave until she started playing?”
“No...It’s a long story. But I'm never going to do something like that again. She’s her own bunny.”
I slumped further into the couch as mom chuckled from the kitchen. It was a laugh I had never heard from her before. Not to mention the distant look she was giving me.
“What?”
“Nothing, dear. Just admiring how much you’ve grown since I last saw you. Sounds like you’ve been on quite a journey with this rabbit of yours. Seeing you both together makes me feel very old. Mark my words, soon enough you’ll be talking about having kids...”
“That’s not how biology works, mom,” though I could hear the longing in her voice. “Does it bother you that I’m with Judy and not a vixen?”
She laughed again.
“Oh, sweetie. What I want shouldn’t define your life. I learned a long time ago that you can be just as happy by letting the person you love go about their business. Even if that means letting them go entirely. True happiness comes from making others happy. And the people you love have a way of coming back to you. Look at you. You came back to me, after all that happened in the burrows.”
There was a pensive look in her eyes as she smiled and continued.
“Besides. There’s always adoption.”
“Mom, we haven’t even been dating a month yet.”
“I’m just teasing you, sweetie. At the end of the day, you need to decide what’s best for yourself.”
Her ears perked at Judy’s new song as she switched gears.
“Speaking of which,” mom continued. “I understand that you want to focus on Judy, given that it’s happening tonight. But have you been preparing for your own job tomorrow?”
In truth, since Judy’s phone call, I hadn’t given my first day in ZPD much thought. Not that I wasn’t thinking about it or was excited to finally be starting. Judy just took priority.
“I, uh, I’m prepared enough.”
“You certainly don’t sound it. And I’ve seen you laze around the house all day.”
“It’s my rest before the big day,” I answered, growing slightly annoyed that someone who hadn’t ever set foot in a gym could criticize me for being lazy.
”Alright, alright. No need to get all huffy on me. Just remember, that your job is important too. Your own happiness matters. Okay, honey?”
“Right, mom.”
Most of the day continued on the same, with Judy skipping lunch in favor of playing. I only disturbed her on mom’s insistence that Judy have something to eat before her first show. Even then, she didn’t even look up from her performance at my entrance.
Following mom’s suggestions about my readiness for Monday, I spent the entire afternoon on the internet studying what I could expect for my first day on the job. How to greet your boss properly. Scrolling through the list of members in precinct one I should recognize. I also asked Jack to tailor my expectations on what I could look forward to as my first assignment. Though I still had my hunch from the day before.
[Parking duty,] Jack answered curtly.
I chuckled and made a mental note to bring plenty of water with me in preparation for some walking. Jack described the vehicle I would be given as a joke-mobile, meaning I’d probably cover more ground on foot. Especially knowing the shortcuts through the streets. Need to work my way up.
Mom stepped out for her night shift at the diner, leaving me and Judy alone until 5 PM. That was when we were supposed to be at the bar.
“Judy? Ready to go?”
The bedroom had gone eerily quiet around 4 PM with the music suddenly silenced. I chalked the broken cadence up to Judy giving her fingers a break before playing again in an hour. Though, even then, I would have expected some sort of movement when I knocked at the door. I tried tapping the door one more time, a little harder, before giving myself permission to enter.
As I expected, Judy was on the bed with her head in her laptop with her headphones on. The moment I entered she jumped a little and slammed shut the screen. By her flustered behavior, I couldn’t help but feel like a nosy parent catching their child in the middle of something on the internet. And I couldn’t help but smirk at her panicked expression either.
“Hey, now,” I said, paws raised. “I ain’t gonna judge.”
“What?” she asked as she removed her headphones. “Oh. No. I wasn’t...Nevermind. It’s not important.”
I bowed my head, though not before noticing the full plate of leftover carrots from lunch. Gone as cold as the autumn breeze through Tundratown.
“Not in the mood for carrots, Carrots?”
Judy went silent and sat cross legged on the bed, unable to make eye contact with me.
“Well,” I said, rubbing the back of my head. “We’d better get going if we’re going to make it on time.”
I attempted to walk out of the bedroom, though Judy didn’t move a muscle. She let out a heavy sigh as I stood in the doorway, half in and half out.
“I was looking at the price of train tickets.”
“Ah,” I said. Though I didn’t turn around to face her.
It went so quiet that you could hear the water move through the pipes of the old building. Or the wind cutting through the alleyways outside. Sounds that you never knew existed until you were trying to sleep in the dark of the night.
Judy accepted my silence as a cue to continue.
“I wasn’t going to hide it from you,” she said, her voice honest and pained. “I just...Didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“You’ve been thinking about this all day.”
“Yeah…”
“You’re worried about your family.”
She hesitated.
“Mom can barely keep things going on her own, even with dad not in the hospital. And I’ve been to the doctor’s before. The bills for medicine...How they’re supposed to recover from something like that. And dad probably won’t be able to even work for a while. Even if they stay together...”
Judy let out another sigh. Though it sounded more like a shiver.
“It feels stupid to think I can do something by being there. I mean, what can I really do for them? But to not be there just feels...Wrong. When I broke my leg, they did everything they could for me. Tried to make me happy. Supported me. Even when I was the most miserable mammal on the planet, they still cared about me. Even dad, in his own bad way.”
I could hear Judy shuffling on the bed, clenching the sheets.
“I made life horrible for them. I didn’t even like myself back then. I could only imagine what it was like to deal with me every single day. But they still loved me. And I loved them. To not be there now when everything is falling apart feels wrong . Especially now. Now I feel like I’m just running away. Now when I’m just so happy… ”
The last word got caught in her throat. I turned around to embrace her before she started sobbing.
She clutched at my fur until it hurt, but I just held onto her tighter. Joining her on the bed, I brought her close and rested my snout atop her head.
“It’s not fair,” Judy got out between deep breaths. “Everything I ever wanted and now this happens. I’m happy here. It’s comfortable. I don’t want to leave. Why does everything always go wrong? Why can’t things just stay good?”
“Hey, it’s okay,” I assured her with the calmest voice I could manage. “I understand. If you need to go, Judy, then go. Your family needs you.”
“But what about us?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I leave, I don’t know how long I’ll be gone...Maybe weeks. Maybe months. A year.”
“So what? I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be right here waiting for you.”
She went quiet and stared back up at me. “You mean it?”
“Of course I do.”
“But...This is what you wanted to do. To move in together. In the city. And you can’t quit your job for me.”
“It is and I can’t,” I said with a sad smile. “And I know it’s going to suck. I’m not going to pretend it isn’t. But that shouldn’t matter right now. If you need to do this, then you should do it. And I’ll be right here to support you.”
Judy sat quietly in my lap, her grip loosening on my fur. Her breathing was calming down, as well as her heart rate. I continued to rock her and held her close. And speak the words I meant with all my heart.
“I’ll be patient. A week. A month. A year. Whatever it takes. You know where to find me. And I’ll do whatever I have to in order to make this work. I’ll always be right here, looking out for you. Because I love you.”
My mouth did that thing again where it spoke without permission. Something slipped out, something that felt almost too early to admit. We were only a couple of weeks into dating each other, after all.
Judy gave me a look. I couldn’t decipher what it meant.
“What did you say?” she asked.
“...I love you,” I repeated.
We looked into each other’s eyes, trying to find meaning in them.
“Was that too soon? I’m sorry. I don’t know when’s an appropriate time to say it. I mean, uh, I know we’ve only been together for a couple of weeks and this is a horrible time to get it out there. But I just...I just—”
She stopped my stammering with a kiss.
I still wasn’t a master at deciphering kisses. Though there was something different about this one from the quick pecks I had gotten used to over the week. This one was longer, with more teeth. And her paws went around my back. Judy went deep into it, reminding me of the night we…
Ohhh.
It hit me somewhere between when I was on my back and the shirts came off. And when I glanced at the clock. 4:18 PM.
“We should probably give the bar a call,” I warned her with my lips between her teeth. “Let them know you’re not coming in.”
“Fifteen minutes,” she promised.
I chuckled at our borrowed time. “Fifteen minutes, then.”
Notes:
I don't normally discuss chapter content in these notes and save it for the comments, but I feel for this chapter it's merited.
I probably spent weeks thinking about this decision at the very end of the story. It was not an easy one to come to. In the end though, it ultimately boiled down to two main reasons why Judy would decide to return home: her love for her family and the importance it was to hers/Nick's path going forward.
I think it's obvious by now that Judy left home with a lot of regrets and more than a little business to tend with the folks she left behind. Though her relationship with Stu is strained, moreso now than ever, she does really love Bonnie and all her siblings. So, it certainly made sense that when a crisis (especially in healthcare which is one she's all too familiar with) arose, she'd have to make a difficult decision but would eventually lean towards her family. The burden then would fall on Nick. I've said before that Stu was meant to be a foil to Nick, especially in regards to Judy. While they both care for Judy, Stu couldn't bring himself to let her go and ultimately destroyed his relationship with her. Nick, now faced with a similar dilemma, makes the choice that Stu couldn't. He lets her go with the faith that she'll eventually come back.
And, of course, she will! It's just a very hard choice and I can understand if folks don't like this as an ending. It's not the usual happy ending in a romance where the couple is together at the conclusion. This ending is messier. It ends with them separated but declaring their love for each other all the same. It ends with the promise that even though they're at a fork in the road and have to face the challenges ahead of them alone, they will always be there to support each other even if it's long distance for now. And that's sort of what I mean by the importance of them going forward with this lesson. It's the trust in your partner, even if they're not there with you at this very moment.
I want to save the good byes for the next and last chapter to this story. But I wanted to sign off with the promise (and reminder) that I fully intend to continue this tale someday. These two will be reunited at some point. And if you really, really don't like this ending then the epilogue chapters end on a much brighter note. Thanks so much for reading with me this far. It really does mean the world to me.
Chapter 40: Track 40: “Everchanging (Acoustic)”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
We kept quiet about Judy’s departure for a few hours, like ignoring it meant it wasn’t going to happen. After our romp, we took showers and cleaned up the bedroom as best as we could. While she washed my scent off her, I helped Judy by packing up her things.
There’s something to be said about spending a last night together and pretending like the world isn’t going to end the next day. Staying up all evening on the couch and watching movies together. Keeping Judy close in my arms. I was trying not to think about when the next time I’d get to hold her would be. Trying to make the night last forever.
The long distance thing was hovering over our heads. Even the movie playing in the background, Slumcat Millionaire or something or other, was getting tuned out by our own dialogue and discussion for Judy’s return to the burrow. I couldn’t say I ever wanted to try a long distance relationship. I don’t think anyone ever does. You don’t go into a relationship planning for it, or hoping for it to happen, at the very least.
But I was going to go into it with the best faith possible. I wanted to make it work. And I knew that we could do this.
“I can call you once a day,” Judy assured me. “Whenever you get off from work. Or if you want to talk to me.”
“Of course I want to talk to you. However often that it’s not annoying for you. What are you going to do about playing the guitar, by the way? I’m sure your dad’s not going to like it. He might try to take Josie away from you again”
Judy let out an irritated huff.
“He can certainly try to. But I have your receipt. And I’m setting some ground rules when I go home. If he tries to go back on any of them, I’ll leave. I have someplace to go back to, if I need it.”
Hearing her say that made me feel warm.
“As for guitaring...I don’t know. Angus and Travis haven’t left town yet. Maybe they’re still up for playing. And there’s that guitar shop in Podunk. With that old beaver. Maybe he’s hiring.”
“You’re thinking about getting a paying job?”
“Why not? I don’t want to freeload with mom and dad stressing out. I’ll watch the kids and help them out where I can. Then play in my spare time. I dunno. How do you start a band?”
I chuckled. “Asking the wrong fox. I suppose you just find other like-minded mammals to join you. The guitar shop in Podunk is probably a good place to start. Maybe old Ben knows some folks who’d be interested in playing with you, at the very least. So, focusing on getting a job or making nice with the owner sounds like a good start for your career.”
Judy hummed as she leaned further into my arm.
“What about you?” she asked.
“What about me?”
“You’re not going to get any stupid ideas and quit the ZPD to move in with me, are you?”
“After all the trouble we went through to get me noticed by the scout, do you really think I’m dumb enough to quit like that and follow you back to the burrows?”
Judy answered me with a blank look.
“Okay,” I muttered after a defeated sigh. “I am that dumb. But I’m not going to do it.”
“Good. You better not. I’d be really pissed if you tried it.”
“What about visits?” I asked, a sly grin on my lips. “I doubt your dad will offer up space for me if I wanted to see you.”
“Then maybe I’ll have to start looking into my own place to live if he doesn’t do something about that stick up his butt about foxes.”
“Now that would be an interesting idea. Gid could use a new roommate.”
“I don’t know if I would want to live with Gideon Grey, of all mammals,” Judy muttered. “Although...Me doing that would probably tick dad off even more. That could be fun.”
“And you’re not worried about your dad’s heart doing something like that?”
She just shrugged, the classic reaction of not wanting to admit I had a point. Then she went quiet, digging into my arm slightly with her claws.
“Are you sure you’re alright with me doing this?” she asked. “You’re not worried?”
“Of course I’m worried,” I said, pulling her closer. “But you need to do what you need to do. It’ll probably be tough. But we’ll find a way to make this work. Though I am curious as to what brought on your decision. You were pretty determined to leave the burrow, at first, regardless of what happened with your dad.”
“I guess staying here made me realize...I gotta confront this sometime. I can’t just run away from it. He sucks, but he’s my family. And a stupid fox once said if I keep this junk buried away then it’s going to eat away at me eventually.”
“Who’s this? He sounds like he gives sage advice.”
“Only when he’s not trying to be funny.”
“Ouch. That one actually managed to hurt a little.”
“I want to confront this,” said Judy. “Work things out before I leave for good. Make sure I’m not leaving a mess at home behind. I just feel like I have some wrongs I need to right first before I can commit to leaving. Then I’ll be back. I promise, I’ll be back.”
Judy went quiet again as the movie finally grabbed my attention.
Truthfully, I hadn’t even been paying it its due. Most of it was just noise. Something we found in the cabinet around the TV. Though it was growing silent. That’s when I noticed Judy had the remote and was turning down the volume.
“Hey, uh, Nick?”
“Mm?”
She shifted around a bit under the blanket and turned away from me, pretending to be watching the muted movie. Though she still held me close.
“...I love you.”
I smirked and said the first thing that came to mind. One of the most famous quotes in cinema.
“I know.”
I expected her to smile or laugh, catching my reference. My heart sank when she scowled at me instead, glaring daggers at my eyes.
“I’m being serious, jerk,” she muttered, crossing her arms in a pout. “It wasn’t a joke.”
“I wasn’t poking fun,” I said, putting my paws up as a memory came to me as sharp as frigid water. “Right...I am a dummy. You still haven’t seen the original Star Boars yet. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was teasing you.”
“Well, it sure sounds like you’re making fun of me…”
“I’m not,” I assured her, moving her chin so she was facing me eye to eye. “I’m just not as smooth as Ham Solo, so it would seem. Trust me. He says the line better. And it’s safe to say I’m not an actor. I was never a part of the theater crew, like you were. I don’t wear my mask for you.”
Judy’s troubled frown slowly morphed into a smirk as her eyes trailed to my ears. Then she let out a snort.
“That’s for sure...”
“See?” I grinned right back. “Like I said, I’m not cut out for acting.”
“You wouldn’t have liked the theater anyway. Lots of blood. And death.”
“I’d imagine that’s the case when you’re involved. Where did you hide the bodies when you were done? I’m part of the ZPD now. I have some questions for you.”
“Mm. Just don’t go digging around the old quarry outside of town.”
I chuckled. It was rare for Judy to make a joke, much less one that would actually make me genuinely laugh. We stared into each other’s eyes while I brushed her cheek with my thumb. She really is beautiful.
“I love you too,” I whispered. “Sorry for ever making you think otherwise.”
“I’ve never said that to anyone before.”
“Yeah. Me either.”
She gave me a sad smile in return. “Are we crazy? This feels like the worst possible time to be talking about this stuff...”
“It’s not like we have much of a choice,” I replied with a shrug. “Timing’s never been our strong point, anyway.”
“I’ll say…”
“But if it makes things better, I think knowing there’s love there will help make the wait worthwhile. Something about absence making the heart grow fonder and all that. Gives me something to look forward to at the end of it anyway. Seeing you again.”
“I guess you’re right…”
My frown was starting to mirror her own. It was dawning on us that this would be the last night for a while where we could enjoy each other’s company. And I didn’t want to spend it moping around feeling sorry for ourselves.
“Hey, I know what we should do,” I said as I glanced at the clock. 9 PM. “We should watch the original Star Boars series. Get you all caught up.”
“That’s three movies, right? It’s late. And you have work tomorrow.”
“Like I’m going to be able to sleep tonight before the big day anyway. I’d rather spend it doing something fun with you.”
“We already did something fun.”
A part of me didn’t think there was a fair comparison between Star Boar and what went on in the bedroom. So, Judy’s callus commentary on one of the most nostalgic pastimes of my childhood had offended me in a way I couldn’t explain. Though I did let her know she touched a slight nerve by my huff when I rose from the couch.
“Well, I’m going to watch them. You can sit there and play on my phone, for all I care.”
It was nice to hear her finally laugh. “Okay, okay. I’ll watch them with you, you child.”
There could be worse things to do on a last night than spending it staying up to watch the entire original trilogy of Star Boars. Despite being older movies, they still had their length of over two hours each. There was a time when me and Jack would marathon them at midnight with the intent of staying up until dawn. Mom would come home from her late shift angry with us, much in the way she did when she found me and Judy still up around 2 AM.
She cut Return of the Buckeye short with demands that I get to bed, threatening no breakfast for me if I stayed up later than I already had. Even after we mentioned Judy’s surprise return to the burrows in the morning, it only stifled mom’s anger. Somehow I was the one to blame for everything.
Just as well , I thought to myself as we hurried to the bedroom before mom could bring out the rolling pin on me. At least she’s not terribly broken up about the news with Judy.
Though I knew mom had my same habit of hiding emotions when she was bothered by something.
There never was a more unwelcomed Monday morning in the Wilde household. In the few hours of sleep everyone got, mom had done her best to put together some pancakes laced with blueberries, or chunks of carrots for Judy and Jack. I indulged for some comfort food.
Jack had stopped by to bring me into the precinct. He didn’t bat an eye when I told him the pitstop we’d be making at the train station beforehand. Though he shared one brief word with Judy.
“Remember.”
“I know ,” she whispered back, sounding cross with him.
The sour mood around breakfast was followed by some melancholy goodbyes with mom. I stepped out from my bedroom in my new uniform, brought to me by Jack in preparation for my initiation day. Standard blues, belt, badge, and other equipment, all similar to the stuff I had abandoned back in Bunnyburrow. The biggest difference being that they were designed to fit me. I was almost uncomfortable with being able to bend over in my button down shirt. The hat would be overkill, though that didn’t stop mom from making a fuss at my appearance.
“Come on, mom,” I growled as she licked at her paw to fix my fur. “It’s not like I’m off to join the scouts again.”
“It still wouldn’t kill you to, at least, look presentable, Nicholas Wilde. I don’t think they accept slobs into the police department.”
A quick glance to Jack’s own untucked shirt had me sighing in defeat. I waited with my arms outstretched as mom inspected every inch of my wardrobe. She ran through the gauntlet of mom-dom. Fixing wrinkles, tightening my belt, and straightening my cuffs. Mom took a step back when she was finished fretting over my clothing’s appearance.
“Your fur is all matted,” she muttered, wiping at my face some more. “Did you go to bed soggy?”
“Mom…”
“I have some curlers you could use on the way to the station…”
“Mom!”
“We are going to be late if we have to drop his girlfriend off at the train station too, Marla,” Jack muttered from his foam cup of tea, gesturing to Judy with his eyes. “Can’t spend more time making Nick look pretty for work.”
“Oh, alright. You can’t blame me for being finicky about wanting him to look his best.”
“We’re the wrong kind of fox for that anyway, mom.”
“Hush,” she muttered, giving me one last comb over. “I suppose it will have to do.”
I sighed, trying not to fidget under the stares I was receiving from everyone in the room. From what Jack told me of the police chief, he cared more about what the latest pop song was than if his officers had bedhead. Let alone what his opinions were of new recruits. My mom kept silent as she looked at me before blinking a few times. I rubbed at the scuff of my neck when she started sniffing.
“Mom…”
“I’m sorry,” she replied, wiping at her eyes. “You know how sentimental I get. I’m just...Proud of you, sweetie. I really am. Please, stay safe out there.”
“I’ll be keeping my ears on him, Marla. Don't you worry.”
Mom chuckled at the typical rabbit pun from Jack. There always was comfort in what was predictable. “Thank you, Jack.”
After patting him on the head, she turned to give me a big hug for good luck, reluctant to let go were it not for Judy next. I don’t think Judy was expecting an embrace from the emotional vixen. And mom had to go onto her knees to be at the right height for her.
“I’m truly sorry to hear about your father, Judy,” said mom. “I can only imagine how hard all this is for you.”
Perhaps it was the sudden surprise at being touched that caught Judy off guard as she stammered.
“I, uh, I thought you’d be upset after the trouble you went through with finding work for me at the diner…”
“Oh, please. Emergencies happen. No one is ever going to hold it against you for needing to be with your family in a time of crisis.”
Mom broke away from Judy for a moment and looked her straight in the eyes.
“Never be afraid to come back to us. There’s always going to be a place for you here, dear. No matter what happens. You hear me?”
Judy’s lip quivered as she nodded. I don’t think she was expecting quite so much empathy from mom after such a short amount of time spent with her. But she didn’t know mom like we did. Jack let out a low chuckle.
“You’ve adopted another one, Marla.”
When you live near a train station, you become accustomed to seeing a lot of heartfelt goodbyes.
There’s at least one a day. Someone saying farewell. Sometimes for the last time. Maybe they’ll never see that person again. Maybe it’s just for a day. But it’s one of those things that you try to ignore in the background, pretending like it’ll never happen to you. And when you do get there, suddenly all you can think about is how much time you wasted.
I knew that was ridiculous. There hadn’t been a person I had spent more time with all summer than Judy. But counting down the minutes made the whole thing feel real. She’s going away. For who knows how long.
We sat there at the station, both of us staring up at the clock while holding the other’s paw. Jack gave us our privacy, waiting down at the center square so we could immediately catch the first bus to Central Savannah. We kept to a bench before the tracks watching the world rushing by around us.
The bustle was different from the burrows, with a train coming in every half a minute before going off to various corners of the world. North, south, east, and west.
It was hard to find something to say.
“Nervous?” I asked.
“A little.”
“They’ll take you back,” I assured her. “I doubt Bonnie will let your dad have his way. Just like I doubt he really meant what he said to you.”
“Thanks,” she muttered. “But that’s not exactly it…”
Josie was strapped to her back for ease of carrying. Judy nudged her shoulder so she could hold the ironwood in her lap. She pressed her paw against the bag, feeling the fret through the case.
“It was easier to do this with you,” she said after another train passed us by. “Knowing you’d be right there at my side to catch me if I slipped up. With you, I wasn’t so alone. And it wasn’t so scary to try. You know?”
“I do,” I replied, looking down at my perfectly tailored police uniform.
“Maybe I’m just being stupid,” she continued with a shrug. “I’m still scared of failing. No matter how hard I try, I think I’m always going to be afraid that I’ll end up falling again. Like...What am I going to do if I’m not good enough to start my own band? And...I’m worried that if I get discouraged, I’ll just give up again.”
I held her paw tighter as she looked wistfully down at her guitar.
“If that happens then call me,” I promised. “My line’s open to you. Any time. Any day. Any place.”
“What if you’re at work?”
“Even if I’m at work,” I smiled, glancing at the glowing, dutiful badge pinned at my chest. “Wanna know a secret?”
“What?”
“I’m terrified I’ll do the same thing after a few months of this job with you gone.”
“You said you weren’t going to quit.”
“And I’m not,” I assured her. “But the fear’s still there all the same. Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. I have to acknowledge it.”
“What makes it go away, then?”
“Love helps. Beyond that though, self reliance. Having a clear goal that I can shoot for. Doesn’t have to be palpable or something within reach. It just has to be strong. Something that burns like fire in your lungs and you can’t sleep until you accomplish it. Or die trying. And every step you take, every little thing you do from now on should serve to complete that one goal.”
I had let my pretentious artist loose again without realizing it. Though Judy did not laugh at my flowery words. Instead she looked down at Josie.
“...Well, I want to do something with my music,” she said, gripping at the fret again beneath the covers. “I don’t know what that is yet. But people get influenced by music all the time. Maybe I can inspire someone. Maybe I can help someone. I don’t know. But I’m done pitying myself. I’m done making things worse for people around me. I want to see how far this can take me.”
She looked straight ahead, beyond the train tracks.
“So, screw giving up. I’m going to do this. I want to make the world a better place.”
Those words carried more weight when Judy wasn’t half asleep to say them. Even with adding her own flavor of smarm to them. I smiled harder.
“If there’s anyone who can do it, it’s you.”
7:45 AM on the dot as the train to the burrows rolled in.
It was no different from all the other trains that came into the city station, but I could recognize it anywhere by the words embedded on the side sign. Judy too by how her ears shot up. Bunnyburrow. One way.
We had only seconds left. I thought the wait was going to be the worst part. But seeing Judy’s back as she rose from the bench dropped a thirty pound weight into my stomach. I followed her to the edge of the platform, waiting by her side and still holding her paw. The first car rolled on by, blowing my fur in the wind and making it almost stand up on edge along my tail.
“This is it,” Judy said, squeezing my paw tighter. “Are long goodbyes still too clichéd for you?”
My mouth went dry for the last time. “Actually, now I wish I had more time.”
“Me too.”
The train cars continued to whizz by us with no signs of stopping. I hoped that maybe, by chance, I was mistaken and this wasn’t her train. And it’d keep moving right on by. But those fantasies were dashed when the wheels grinded to a halt. Then the doors opened, with the animals inside pouring out past us like we were parting the sea, giving us various looks of either disgust or intrigue.
All of that didn’t matter though. In that moment, surrounded by other people, it was just me and her.
We got one last look at each other. Her in her full black hoodie, shredded jeans, guitar, and silver earrings. Me in full uniform, fur disheveled, looking like I needed several cups of coffee. The train felt like it could leave at any moment. Hardly an opportune time to make out. But I wanted to remember her smell and so I held her close for a final kiss.
“I’ll call you tonight,” she promised when we broke away.
The train engines were starting up again.
“I’m gonna be looking forward to it all day,” I said, a sad smile on my wet lips before I called out to her. “I love you.”
“I know.”
I let go of her paw.
She made it just before the doors closed on her, while I gave one last look at Josie on her back. The wheels shrieked to life as the engines pulled the train off on its journey back to the burrows. I strained to get a glance of Judy through the windows as she disappeared out of the station. The train only gave me the steam from the heat of the engine against the cold morning air. But in the back most window of the car, I saw two ears and one paw pressed against the glass and fading into the horizon.
And, just like that, she was gone.
“You’re not going to be mopey all day, are you?” asked Jack.
He had been kind enough to give me the window seat as I stared out of the bus, watching Zootopia come to life for the morning. As if the city ever slept. I shrugged as a retort, giving a heavy sigh as my elbow dug further into the metal grating below the window.
“Come on, man. I’ll even give you half my doughnut if you crack a smile.”
“I don’t know what it is with you and mom not getting that I have a diet to keep .”
“Hey, a little bit of cheating is perfectly fine if you’re pining. Sorry I don’t have any ice cream for you instead. That’s the traditional cure. And we’re not going to have enough time for a quick stop if we want to make your first trip to the bullpen.”
I grunted. Even the thought of ice cream was something that was far too rich for my taste. Come to think of it, I haven’t had any all summer…I missed a lot of stuff.
Jack let me sulk a little while longer before breaking the ice again.
“Really, man,” he said with a tone reserved for serious talks. “You’re going to do fine. You both are. She’s not going to turn around and break your heart. Not after everything you’ve been through.”
“I’m surprised to hear you say that,” I replied while giving Jack a raised eye. “You’ve been so hot and cold with her.”
“We came to an agreement.”
“On stuff and things?” I asked.
“Exactly. Some physical threats. Nothing extreme. Just any time she hurts you, I’m allowed to rip out one of her earrings. If she does it seven times, then she’s supposed to pick a graveyard of her choosing and I’ll bury her alive.”
I huffed a bit. Even I knew that what Jack was saying was an exaggeration. But it was still a funny thought to see him try it all the same.
“There we go,” said Jack as he grinned in turn. “A smile. I knew I still had it in me.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I replied, covering up my smirk with my paw. “Everything’s going back to normal then.”
Jack’s own smile turned south. “Like I said before, I don’t think anything is ever going to be the same again, Nick. Things are different now. And you’re a far cry from the fox I left at the train station in June.”
“I had help with that, you know.”
“Well, now you gotta stand on your own two feet. You’ll have help. You’ll always have help. But I’m not going to pretend this’ll be easy. It’s a long climb to the top. And you’re too big to carry now.”
“Lucky you could never carry me by yourself anyway.”
“Well, sometimes we all need a little push to get us started.”
Past the ramp, out from the darkness of the downtown districts, was the welcoming sign and open block between the larger buildings of Savannah Central. It was unchanged from two days ago, when Judy and I walked around. Though there were more police officers about, folks heading in for the Monday grind. The busker from the day before was gone in search of greener pastures.
Our bus rolled up with the others right before the steps. 7:57 AM. Three minutes until we were supposed to be seated for our assignments. My first assignment.
It hit me all at once.
I was there. I had made it. The thing that I had set out to do had been accomplished. And there I was. Staring the lion in the face. But I didn’t feel nervous about it at all. I belonged there. I had earned it. My way. If a dumb fox could summon the motivation to make it into the most prestigious level of law enforcement, what else could he do? Only one way to find out.
As I followed Jack out of the bus and into the blinding daylight, he turned to me right before the first step.
“You ready?”
“Yeah,” I replied with an honest smile. “Let’s go make the world a better place.”
Notes:
To be continued.
I promise you that I have every intention of picking this up again in a whole new story, I know the ending wasn't quite what some folks wanted. But there is so much I want to explore next with Judy's return to the burrows and resolution with her family. As well as the start to her music career. I just wanted to take a little break to tell another story before I dive into the sequel to this one!
I thank you all so much for going with me on this journey. It's been a trip but we did it! 40 whole chapters!
There is still the matter of the three epilogue chapters too. I wanted to ask if people would prefer them in here or in the Ghost Note story instead? Let me know and thanks for everything.
Chapter 41: Epilogue Part One: Jessica Kill
Notes:
After scanning through the comments, it seemed a majority of you preferred keeping the epilogue chapters right here. As nice as it was to have an even 40 chapters, I think I'm inclined to agree with your assessment!
These last three chapters are windows into the future (not the far future), touching on story beats and elements I want to explore more in the sequel story. We're in Nick's PoV as he's slowly adjusting to his new job and keeping the relationship with Judy, strong and healthy. There will also be sendoffs to all the characters we've seen so far and you'll definitely know where everyone is by the end of part three, as well as meeting a few new characters along the way.
Without further ado, I hope you enjoy a lovely little lunch Nick gets to have with two very unexpected guests.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Come on, that was a fun night. Right, Nick?”
Fun was a relative statement. I felt like I had been stepped on by an elephant. Wearing cleats. Though I suppose that was a given with my first midnight shift with Jack. It was rare for me to be drinking coffee, but after what we had been through the previous night I was ready to give anything a shot. Or believe anything anyone told me.
Jack was handling his graveyard shift better, with a cup of his favorite green tea. I answered him with one bloodshot eye while I let the smell of ground coffee beans permeate my snout. The scent was enough to breathe a little life into me.
“The only good thing about last night,” I replied. “Is that Chief is letting us take off early today to get some rest.”
“That’s the spirit.”
I wouldn’t have been so cranky if my schedule wasn’t all out of whack. My body was screaming at me for it being 11 AM and missing my morning workout, even though I kept telling it that would come after a nap when I got home. I had even missed my nightly call with Judy too.
We were warned that we would be doing stake outs at some point. Especially with the push lately to pressure the local crime thug, Mr. Big, into making a mistake. Election time was just around the corner and the mayor was doing everything in his power to make himself look good. That part didn’t bother me so much. Growing up on the streets, both Jack and I knew Big’s reputation well enough to steer clear of his territory when we were kids. It was kinda interesting to suddenly have the power to push back.
That said, spending all night trying to keep awake in Tundratown was far from what I would call a good time. Especially seeing as nothing happened all night. Sitting in one place for a long time brought back memories of my office in the burrows, after all. It could have been worse, with Jack as company. We kept each other up by talking like we used to at the old slumber parties as kids. I only stepped out of the car once to take a much needed bathroom break. Got a real nasty look from the polar bear sulking about the ice cream shop we were parked outside of in the process.
I suppose the night job was the Chief’s way of testing me as the newest cop on the force.
Fish and bugs were common pred foods in a city that was ninety percent prey. Couldn’t have folks starving, after all. Chicken and poultry, however, was where prey mammals started to get a little uncomfortable. Outside the city, sure, you could get a chicken sandwich from a few less than savory places off the beaten path. There were few dealers brave enough to risk violating the law for relatively minor gain when a Bugburga was enough to satisfy most preds.
But Mr. Big was one such dealer. Allegedly.
Admittedly, it was a small item on a laundry list of potential crimes the “respectable limousine servicesmammal” could be accused of. Big was always sure to keep his paws squeaky clean though. Hundreds of pounds of raw chicken, however, would be pretty hard hide, much less deny the existence of if found. We only had to prove it was being transported through the city with probable cause.
“We’ll find something on him,” Jack said, even though he had already been personally responsible for apprehending at least three of Big’s thugs. “Eventually.”
“Maybe. Think the Chief assigned me to the job because he thought I might try and make off with the goods if we did find something?”
Jack blew some hot air through his buck teeth. “I don't think that's quite it. But Bogo has a way of measuring his recruits’ worth after he gets a bead on them. Just count yourself lucky we're doing actual police work. I told you about my hazing ritual, right? Two months of parking duty.”
“Boy, do I ever remember that,” I muttered with a roll of my eyes. “Shame the Chief doesn’t know I’m a vegetarian, else he might not have even bothered.”
“Maybe. Maybe that wasn’t the test. Now finish up, I’m starving. Haven’t eaten since dinner.”
We had skipped breakfast in our hurry to arrive back at the station to shower and give our report. Bogo didn’t sound too surprised to hear we had turned up with nothing. Just a grunt and the words ‘Stay vigilant. Dismissed.’ I was just putting together my formal report for filing at my desk, something Jack conveniently was putting off. Not I minded. It was nice to keep my paws busy, reading my notes of observations during the long night.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I muttered, filing the final report. “I gave up my evening too, you know.”
“Pff. What evening? We both know you were just going to spend it chatting to your girlfriend.”
“And? I don’t see the problem with this.”
“If she has you on a chain like this, I shudder to think what it’s gonna be like when she eventually moves here for real. Don't you have to report to her now?”
I rolled my eyes. “I told her I'd be a little busy last night and I'd catch up after my nap today.”
“And she wasn’t chomping at the bit? I’m surprised she didn’t take the first train here.”
“Come on, man. Judy trusts me like that.”
That was when the intercom chimed in. As much as I liked the cheetah, it was far too early in the morning to hear Clawhauser’s shrill voice blasting over the entire station.
“Attention Nick Wilde. You have a Miss Hopps here to see you at the front desk. Nick Wilde. Front desk. Miss Hopps.”
Jack looked like he had been told Christmas had come early. The wide-eyed expression of the mammal who was always right.
“You were saying?”
I didn’t give him the courtesy of a response. Just folded my report up and tucked away in my desk before rising to answer Clawhauser’s call. She didn’t. Did she?
It had only been a month since Judy had left for the burrows to be with her family. That was the longest month I had ever experienced. Not that I had spent the time pouting in the den of the apartment every night, as Jack would have you believe. Just most of my free time had been spent trying to keep communication up with Judy. To make sure we were doing fine. I was doing my best to keep a part of her life even if we were two hundred miles apart. I would say we were doing pretty good too, given how we had trouble hanging up on each late at night. There was so much we could talk about, even if we weren’t next to each other.
Since moving back to the burrows, Judy had taken up a part time at the local bakery and went to Gideon Grey for an apartment. In between all that, she had been busking and trying to find her footing in the music as well as babysitting for her mother while Bonnie tended the fields. Every Hopps had to do their part and that left very little free time for Judy to take even something as simple as a train ride to Zootopia. That wasn’t even considering the costs on her limited financials.
So, what is she doing here?
Despite all that, it was hard to temper my walking pace down from the second floor of the station to the main lobby. Didn’t want to give Jack the impression that I was as excited at the prospect of seeing Judy again so soon, when such plans hadn’t even been discussed. It almost made me want to reprimand her for buying a train ticket for something so trivial as my first night shift.
Fortunately or unfortunately, I never got the chance.
“Nicky,” said Clawhauser. “You’re going to have to tell me where you met such a little cutie like this bunny. She’s adorable!”
It wasn’t Judy. That much was certain by how Clawhauser wasn’t sporting a black eye from such a comment. Granted, Judy and this rabbit shared a lot.
Same grey fur. Same height. Different purple eyes though. The new rabbit’s eyes were like violet gemstones, while Judy’s were a more calming lavender. If I had to guess, she was around her early twenties. She had more variety than Judy’s punk style with clothes. This bunny wore a fanciful navy blue turtleneck for the cooler autumn weather around the city and a black skirt with plenty of ruffles. I noted her purple pocketbook at her side, cheap material but well loved by the scuffs. The glasses she had on also dispelled the idea of even thinking she looked like Judy.
I struggled a bit trying to remember if I had seen her before answering Clawhauser.
“I...Wish I could tell you. Never met her.”
The new rabbit grinned at me before offering her paw.
“Violet,” she said. “Violet Hopps. You must be Nick.”
A sister then. I didn’t think she had been lying to Clawhauser when she said she was a member of the Hopps family. The rabbit didn’t seem like the type to be deceitful, from my first impression. And, come to think of it, I seemed to remember Judy mentioning an older sister by the name of Violet way back in the dog days of summer. Though the memory was faded.
“I see my reputation precedes me,” I replied. “Though you’re a bit far from home. I didn’t know there were Hopps outside the burrow.”
“Well, not many other Hopps have the smarts to be going to school in the city,” she said before nervously playing with her pocketbook. “Sorry. That was mean of me to say. It’s not very fair given the advantage I’ve had in my schooling.”
“A college girl, huh? That’s pretty cool. I remember how rough it was in the burrows to break out.”
I glanced over to the desk counter to find Jack and Clawhauser smirking at each other. Violet sensed it too.
“Relax, boys,” she said. “I have a boyfriend.”
Clawhauser looked a little dejected by that statement, pouting in his corner of the desk while Jack just rolled his eyes. Even after a month of working at the ZPD, I wasn’t sure if anyone knew about my relationship with Judy. Or if I was dating in general. I know I certainly hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. Nor had Jack. Not that I was ashamed of it, I just didn’t think it was their business to know. Never know how someone was going to react to a fox and a bunny dating, especially when I was still adjusting back to city life.
“Anyway,” I cleared my throat. “What brings you here?”
“I’m here to repay a debt,” Violet answered with her paws on her waist.
“A...Debt?”
“Yes, a debt. You know how Hopps are with debts don’t you, Officer Wilde?”
Did I ever. The problem was, while I wasn’t about to argue with the determined bunny, I couldn’t even begin to remember what debt she was talking about. Considering I hadn’t even met Violet before this day, I reasoned it had to do something with Judy. I raised my paws in turn, doing my best not to offend.
“Well, I appreciate the offer. But there’s really no need to--”
“Nonsense. I’m just talking about a simple dinner or something. Can you break away from work to entertain a grateful sister sometime?”
“We were--”
“We were actually just on our way to lunch,” said Jack. “If you care to join us. I’m sure Nick would be happy for you to pick up his tab. He’s such a cheapskate, after all.”
I shot a glare at Jack out of the corner of my eye. He was wearing the same look he did whenever I told him I was texting Judy while on patrol. An expression that suggested I should be doing more social activity with my freetime.
“Sounds great. Lead the way then.”
Clawhauser shot us a pout as we were guided out of the police station by the young bunny. At least someone won’t get some enjoyment out of watching me squirm.
“I’m surprised Judy never mentioned me.”
“She might have,” I said. “Don’t give her a hard time for it. I just have a poor memory. Plus, things were pretty much like sitting on a powderkeg the whole summer.”
Violet laughed as she leaned back into her chair, iced tea in paw.
We had settled on a charming little restaurant on the outskirts of Little Rodentia that was one of those new age health food places. All natural and organic. Jack loathed those types of joints, but if he was going to tag along with me I was determined to make him suffer for it. Everything about the place was clean and chrome, even the outdoor tables. It was early for the lunch rush and perfect temperature to enjoy the day outside sipping at our drinks. Best to take in some sunshine before I napped most of the day.
“A powderkeg, huh?” continued Violet. “That’s one way to put it. You both stirred up the hornet’s nest with some of the older Hopps and their gossiping. No offense, but I never would have thought Judy would go for a pred. Let alone a fox. And it surprised me to hear that she joined up with a band and finding stuff to do instead of moping. She almost sounds happy again.”
I shifted in my seat as Violet laid her perfect eyes on me. She mirrored her mother in a lot of ways and I felt the same emotion of gratitude from her glances towards me.
“She tell you how they met?” asked Jack whilst sipping his tea.
“The vaguest of details. But more than mom got. We’ve been talking a lot more since she got that dang cellphone. Making up for a lot of lost time.”
“You said you were going to college,” I stated.
“Zootopia University,” she answered with an uncomfortable smile. “ZU's medical school is one of the top ones in the provinces.”
“You’re trying to become a doctor then?”
“At some point. Always hard, given the price of tuition and city living. The part time job helps. That’s the reason why I didn’t come home this summer, even though I really wish I could have gone back. But there was simply no way I could have gone back for this semester without my assistant nurse gig…”
Her voice lingered as she played with her straw.
“...I meant what I said, by the way. Despite the stuff going on between mom and dad, Judy sounds much happier lately. I was really worried about her during my last visit home way back in spring. When she was dating that awful buck, Andrew.”
“Isn’t that the one you called a tool?” Jack asked me.
“Oh god,” muttered Violet. “You met him too? I saw him around campus last week and he gave me a guilty look like he had murdered someone.”
“He certainly wasn’t the best sort of mammal,” I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck. “Not a bad rabbit. Just rough around the edges. Not really sure of himself. That’s part of the reason why their thing ended.”
Violet smiled at me. “I thought it was the duty of the new boyfriend to curse the existence of the previous one.”
“I dunno if I could do that. He was just...Misguided. It helped that I had a one on one with him after the accident. He seemed to regret a lot of what he did, with him pining outside that other rabbit’s house. Even asked me to look after Judy too when I took him home that one time.”
“He could have just been lying to get your sympathy. Or avoid getting in trouble with the sheriff.”
I shrugged. “I like to think I can get a good read on folks. He seemed honest in his intent and has kept true to his word so far. I can give him a pass, for that at least.”
“And what would you have done if he approached Judy again? If they had started dating again?”
“Then...As long as she was happy with it, and it was her choice, I’d be fine with it. Though I’m happy things worked out like they did.”
Violet gave a slight laugh. “You’re a very honest fellow, huh?”
I returned her response with my own uncomfortable chuckle. Why does it feel like I’m being tested? It wasn’t in a negative fashion. Not like Violet was observing every little thing I did. Her eyes were not nearly calculating or cold enough for that kind of behavior or scrutiny. But I couldn’t help but feel like her questions to me were her way of sizing me up.
I supposed that made some sense. Jack behaved in a similar fashion over the phone when Judy started getting close to me. Is this what it means to meet an older sibling? Most of Judy’s family had given me a wide breadth when we announced our relationship. Or they were too little to know anything was strange about a fox dating a bunny. And I hadn’t given much thought to what the older members of the Hopps clan might think of us. After all, children were honest with their thoughts. Adults tended to wear false masks that hid the truth. Even from themselves.
“Tell me about yourself, Nick,” said Violet.
“About myself?” I asked, mid-drink. “Judy hasn’t said a word about me?”
“Oh, she has. Quite a bit, actually. I’m more curious to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth though, if you’ll pardon the idiom.”
It was a simple request. But she might as well asked me to do a complicated math problem. Or whatever they did in college. Next to me, Jack was smirking to himself underneath his cup of tea.
“Well,” I began, grasping for anything to get me started. “I’m a police officer. I guess?”
“You mean you’re not sure?” added Jack. “Here I thought you were my partner.”
“I am,” I growled. “There’s just not much to say about me. I don’t have much in the way of smarts, like you. I barely have a high school education, much less even thought about going to college. I liked music. Thought I might try a career in it when I graduated, but it didn’t exactly pan out. Stumbled into police work as a result.”
“That explains how Jude got into guitaring then,” Violet shrugged and sipped her drink. You have a musical mind, Nick?”
“It’s been ages since I’ve played. Or it’s felt like it anyway. I’ve been more focused on the ZPD and keeping fit that I haven’t had the chance to really give it a try again. And it doesn’t seem fair to give something half of your attention. Especially when it’s as demanding as music can be.”
“How interesting. Judy must have told you how she wanted to be a police officer once, right?”
“She mentioned it, yeah.”
“And now you’re here in the city doing just that. Do you enjoy the job?”
“Well, it’s certainly a lot more interesting than a day shift as the sheriff of Bunnyburrow. I’ve only been in the gig for a month though.”
“But are you happy with it so far?”
I couldn’t explain it, but I felt like the question she was asking had a great deal of weight to it. Even Jack sat up slightly in his chair.
“...It’s not all sunshine and rainbows,” I began by wiping the sand out of my eyes. “But no job ever is. I pushed for this career because I wanted to help people. And I do feel like I’ve been doing just that. Bit by bit. There is satisfaction with it at the end of the day. That’s all I can really ever ask for in a job. A little more pay at the end of the month would be wonderful, but that’s just nitpicking.”
I glanced at both rabbits at the table. They both nodded in approval as I continued.
“For all intents and purposes, yes. I am content and happy with my career. There’s only one other thing I’d rather be doing.”
“Playing music?” Violet asked.
I shrugged. “I wasn’t ever good enough to ever help people with it outside of brightening their day as a busker. Or teaching. Your sister, on the other paw, is amazing. And she has the drive to really do something tangible worldwide with it. I can feel it.”
She gave me a familiar-looking smirk. “Flatterer.”
“I’m not nearly aware enough of myself to be considered flirty.”
“It’s true,” Jack butted in. “You could throw a rock at this guy with the words ‘will you date me’ painted on it and he still wouldn’t take the hint.”
“That surprises me,” said Violet. “From the outside, you seem so…”
I raised an eye. It was rare to hear someone’s honest thoughts about me and I couldn’t help but be curious.
“What?”
“...Cool. For lack of a better word.”
I could feel my ears burn as Jack snorted so hard that he choked on his drink.
“This guy? Really? Cool?”
Violet kept her composure well despite being laughed at and just shrugged.
“I don’t know what else you want me to call it. He’s a good-looking todd. He plays guitar. He has a stable job. He’s fit and works out. Most people would think that’s pretty cool. Like he’s the sort of guy that would have a lot of girlfriends. There’s a lot of boys like that at university. To them, it’s all just a game.”
“I’m not like that at all,” I replied as my voice quieted while Jack continued his hard laughter. “Besides...Judy is my first.”
Jack had gotten to the point where he had to excuse himself from the table, he was in such a coughing fit. While he stumbled around trying to find the restroom, he left me alone with Violet and her purple stare looking quite confused.
“Did I miss something?” she asked. “I didn’t think it was that funny. Whatever it was.”
“He’s just being a jerk,” I muttered, sipping from my water to cool off. “He was always on my case to get a girlfriend. And now that I have one...”
“He’s jealous.”
“Yeah, I know he is. Even if he doesn’t like to admit it. He’s more like the person you’re picturing, with whatever your definition of cool is. Growing up together, he was the one always getting the girls to fawn over him. He never did manage to keep one though, for as long as I’ve known. His true love’s always been his job.”
“And he gives you trouble for dating Judy? That’s hardly fair.”
“Well, they’ve been at odds with each other ever since they met. I think they’re in an unspoken competition for my attention, as dumb as that sounds.”
“Does he not approve of it because you’re a fox and she’s a rabbit?”
I felt my tail twitch slightly at that question. No one had ever asked me that straight up before, though I could always sense that it was on people’s minds. Everyone who knew had always been supportive of us being together. But I wasn’t blind to the stares we had received when we held paws down the street. I was still waiting for the day that someone somewhere openly might object to our relationship.
“He’s fine with it,” I assured Violet. “It’s more they had a rocky introduction to each other. But everyone’s been really supportive. Even my mom.”
“You’re both very lucky then. I know how hard it is to even convince folks that your love is genuine in that situation. To keep them from trying to talk you out of it.”
“You do?”
“Yep. A lot of people don’t seem to take a pred-prey relationship seriously. Even in our generation.”
That much was true. Even if there was support, not many people were open about such relationships. None that I knew besides Angus and Travis. And even that was very different from pred and prey, like a spectrum. Violet had on a solemn smile as she stared into her cup.
“It was very brave of Judy to be so open like that with everyone. Brave of both of you.”
I raised an eye at her sympathy. To me, it sounded a little more sincere than something haphazardly tossed my way. Though I didn’t get the chance to question it.
“Nickie?” called someone not at our table. “Nickie Wilde?”
I froze up.
It was a voice I hadn’t heard in some time. Years, in fact. From a memory buried deep, deep within the confines of my brain. Right next to the last time I wet the bed. Or the time I misspelled my own name on my standardized test. I would have rather lived through every embarrassing moment of my life again than have to hear that sickeningly sweet voice one more time.
Angelica Snow was the last mammal I wanted to hear when I turned around. She was also the last vixen I expected to see ever again, given how our last encounter with each other in high school ended with me crying in the bathroom. I honestly didn’t know to ignore her or bolt from the table. So, I just sat there, clenching the sides of my chair with a forced smile on my face.
Angel, however, looked overjoyed to see me when I looked her way.
“It is you! God, how long has it been?”
Eight years, five months, and thirteen days. Not that I had been counting or anything.
I had to remind myself what had changed since the day Angel had outed me in front of the whole school, like it was a pay-per-view performance. There was little difference from high school about her. Richer clothes, maybe. She traded her signature dress bought with daddy’s money for some designer outfit I had only seen on mannequins in the richest parts of my police patrols. My nose detected the sharp scent of perfume covering her natural musk. Her high brand sunglasses hid her eyes away and, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember their color. I didn’t want to.
Her shades made it hard for me to get comfortable, I made a habit of looking people in the eye while talking to them. I used that as the excuse as to why I was stammering.
“Hi, uh, hi Angel.”
That’s right. Her eyes were red. I made that rediscovery when she removed her glasses to smile at me.
“Look at you,” she said, red trailing me up and down. “I didn’t hear you had become a cop, of all things. Same with your hare friend from school. What was his name again? Jack? Last I heard, you were out of town. Way out in the burrows.”
“Uh, yeah…”
Angel’s eyes were like a moving spotlight as they trailed over to Violet. The bunny had completely escaped her notice somehow.
“Hello there,” she offered Violet a wave. “I’m Angelica Snow. A high school friend of Nickie's.”
Angel gave a pause for Violet to introduce herself. The little rabbit only just realized she was being spoken to.
“Oh! I’m Violet. Nice to meet you, Angelica.”
“Please, call me Angel,” the vixen glanced to Jack’s empty seat. “You must be out to lunch with friends. Hope they don’t mind me stealing their chair.”
She didn’t give me the chance to answer. I hoped Jack would take his time, as I imagined his reunion with Angel wouldn’t be esteemed, to say the least.
“So, Nickie, what have you been up to since high school?”
Playing guitar and forgetting about you.
“Oh, you know. Just practicing music. Fell into the police career, like you said. The, uh, the usual.”
“That’s right. I remember that silly little talent show you did with your friend. Where you played your guitar. But you’re a police officer now? I hadn’t heard about any foxes in the ZPD before.”
“Yeah. I’m, uh. I’m the first.”
“That’s so cool,” she placed her paw on my forearm. “Tell me all about it. I see their headquarters all the time from my building. What’s it like working there?”
I pulled away from her slightly. “It’s fine. Like I was saying to, uh, Violet. I enjoy, uh, helping people everyday.”
“How about the people there? Do they mind a fox working with them?”
Outside of Jack and Clawhauser, I hadn’t met very many folks around the station to justify a reasonable response to her question. Not that the other officers had been rude or anything. But there was always that level of distrust around foxes. Like we were outsiders. I often wondered how Angel could manage being so popular despite that handicap.
“Uh, no. Not at all.”
"Well, that’s good, at least. I’ve heard that the police chief can be a piece of work when it comes to trusting newcomers.” She leaned in a little closer to me.
I leaned away. “He’s been stern, but fair. Doesn’t, uh, doesn’t give you trouble unless you do something specifically that asked for it.”
“Well, I hope you do continue to find yourself on his good side then, Nickie. You’re too capable to let someone like the big bad police chief get you down. There’s been terrible rumors about the ZPD lately, so you can’t help but worry over something like that. Corruption and the like.”
Across from me, Violet had been watching the both of us closely. Her paws folded over her mouth as she stared me down and then turned to Angel.
“Out of curiosity,” Violet spoke up. “What is it you do, Angel?”
Angel snapped to, like she had forgotten Violet had even been sitting there.
“Oh, I manage mammal resources and outside communications for one of the local motor companies in Tundratown. You know, dealing with some troublesome competitors and sales and the like. Sometimes on a personal level.”
“So, you’d say you’re like a used car sales-mammal then?”
Angel’s ear twitched slightly. “I wouldn’t...Put it quite like that. I mean, sometimes you have to be a little rough with a customer. But that’s the same with a lot of jobs around the city. As I’m sure Nickie can attest, it’s a rough place to live in, after all.”
“I see,” Violet replied and calmly sipped at her sweet tea.
There were little things that mammals did to give off unspoken cues for their moods. It was harder to detect with other species, though I liked to think I had gotten better with rabbits thanks to Judy’s help. Fox warning signs, however, were clear as day to me. It was in the way that Angel bared her teeth just enough while speaking that I picked up on it. Helped by how familiar I was with it from my own experiences with the vixen. A slight air of disdain masked by a supposedly friendly face.
“You seem like a student,” said Angel. “Are you from Harfurd then? Scurry Business School?”
“ZU, actually.”
“Ah. A pricey place. Of course, they all are. But I think ZU has the highest tuition fees, doesn't it? College is such a hopeful time. I remember when I was still in school. One of the rival ones for ZU, the University of Bullford. I was even part of a few sororities. I hope that doesn’t bother you.”
“I don’t pay much attention to school spirit stuff.”
“That’s probably because ZU is the more basic of the bunch. You get a much more general education there and less of the excitement in the college. It’s a little sad, at times, missing out on so much. But you need to make the best of what you have. I can only imagine coming all the way out to the city for education isn't cheap, don't see many bunnies from the burrow after all.”
I couldn’t tell if Violet sensed the venom in Angel’s words, but I wasn’t about to sit there and listen to her get berated.
“That’s not very fair to say,” I said. “It’s amazing that she’s in a university, no matter what kind it is. It’s more than I ever got to do. And more than a lot of other mammals ever get the opportunity to try for. She’s going to be a great doctor.”
Angel turned to me with something of a glint in her eyes. Like a spoiled child being told to share their favorite toy. Though it was only brief before she smiled again.
“I didn’t mean any offense,” she replied. “It’s nice to see you’re so close to Jack’s girlfriend, Nickie. Glad to see you’re not the jealous type.”
It was the second time I was grateful Jack had left the table as Violet raised her eye.
“Jack’s girlfri--Oh. No. God no. No, no, no.”
“What? He’s not your type as a rabbit? I’m sorry. I just assumed…”
“I mean, he’s good looking enough I guess but...No. Not interested in the slightest. I’m already taken.”
Angel had on a genuinely perturbed expression as she glanced between the two of us, trying to put two and two together.
“...Then if you aren’t dating Jack, how do you two know each other? Nickie just said he never went to college. Did you meet in the burrows?”
“Kinda," I replied. "I'm dating her sister, after all…”
Perhaps it was nerves from seeing Angel again or perhaps it was my lack of sleep catching up to me. But, whatever the reason, I had just blurted that out without a second thought to who I was speaking with. The realization set in at the same time it did for Angel.
A lot of people don’t seem to take a pred-prey relationship seriously. Even in our generation.
“Oh,” said Angel as she turned away from me. “I...See.”
Across from me, Violet was wearing a smirk that would put even a fox to shame. She leaned back into her chair like she had just had a very satisfying meal, even if our lunch was nowhere to be seen yet.
“Well,” continued Angel. “Good to hear. I hope you’re very happy, uh, together.”
“I am,” I answered with certainty. “She’s been great for me. You should meet her sometime, if you’re around. She’s in a band and everything. A punk rocker.”
Angel laughed slightly, though it sounded more like she was laughing at herself.
“That’s okay. I should, uh, I should get running anyway. I have an important lunch meeting. Just thought I’d say hi when I, uh, saw you. I guess you haven’t changed too much since high school.”
I couldn’t help but wonder what she meant by that as she stood up from her chair and flipped her sunglasses back on.
“Nice meeting you, Violet. See you around, Wilde.”
Angel must have been born under some lucky star. When she turned to leave, I caught Jack just coming out of the bathroom in the corner of my eye. His ears shot straight up as he noticed Angel’s tail before she disappeared into the crowded streets outside the restaurant.
“Was that who I think it was?” Jack asked upon sitting down.
I sighed and covered my eyes at how much of a fool I made of myself. “Yup.”
“What the heck was she doing here? I haven’t heard from her since high school.”
“She was flirting with Nick,” Violet answered with a coy smile. “Albeit poorly.”
I was about to protest Violet's accusation until I played back our entire conversation, having been too much in the moment to slow down and give Angel’s approach to me any thought. It hit me like a radio hitting the pavement when dropped from a fifty story building.
“Oh, god,” I muttered. “You’re right. She totally was…”
I expected him to laugh again, though Jack wasn’t wearing even a smirk on his face. Instead, he wore an expression I had never seen on him before. An anger of a different color as he fumed.
“She has the nerve of doing that to you after all the trouble you went through with her rejection? What a little piece of trash. Did you tell her you were already seeing someone?”
I was taken aback by Jack’s sudden insult. His eyes had their sharpened look. Like when in extreme focus.
“Yeah,” I stammered a bit. “I told her about Judy.”
“And? What happened? Did she say anything about you guys?”
“No. I mean, she looked a little weirded out when she left. But she didn’t say anything too egregious. She was a little rude to Violet though…”
Jack breathed out from his teeth and eased more into his seat before taking his drink to cool off.
“Good,” he muttered. “She better not have opened her mouth. Sorry you were on the receiving end of her poison, Hopps. I don’t know if you could tell but that particular vixen was a bit of an ice queen back in school. Especially towards rabbits. I can only imagine that if she heard Nick was dating your sister, she might short circuit with her trying to get her claws into Nick.”
I raised an eye at that comment. “Wait a minute, you’re worried about us?”
“Of course I am. Why do you think I’ve been keeping a lid on your relationship status at work? I get it. It’s dangerous to be open with that stuff, never knowing who might object to it or worse. Not that I think anyone at the station would give you trouble for it. Even Bogo, with all his blustering, wouldn’t think twice about it. But it’s your business who you want to tell. Not mine.”
Jack’s sudden serious tone had caught me completely off guard. We had never really discussed my relationship in this kind of manner before. And I had no idea he felt like he had to protect me on some level. Like an older sibling.
“Well,” Violet said whilst finishing off her sweet tea. “You two certainly have a good relationship going with each other. And I think I get why Judy was so comfortable with you now, Nick. You’re a lot alike. Especially with your protective brother here. I’m glad I got to know you better today.”
I felt like I was two steps behind everyone at the table, making wish I had opted for a nap again before I agreed to the lunch. Though, at the same time, Violet didn’t sound like she had been insincere about the whole matter.
“Was that what this was all about?” I asked her. “This lunch? You wanted to learn about me?”
“I figured that much was obvious. But I wasn’t lying about the debt to you either.”
“Let me guess,” said Jack. “The debt is for Nick taking good care of your sister.”
“That’s part of it, sure. But no. This is something even more personal than that.”
Violet paused for a moment and dug around in her pocketbook. She produced a ring, like it would hold all the answers of the universe. Instead, it was made of simple gold. Plain and old fashioned with no visible markings or additions to it. Something with a great deal of weight to it, like an heirloom.
“What is it?” I asked. “A ring?”
“A wedding ring. My wedding ring.”
I furrowed my brow. “I thought you said you had a boyfriend. Not a husband.”
“I do,” she said, slipping on the ring. It looked a little big for her by how it kept sliding around. “We just got engaged a couple of weeks ago.”
“Oh. Oh! Well, congratulations then.”
“Thanks,” Violet’s voice trailed as she dropped her ring back into her pocketbook. That’s when I noticed a frown on her face. “I haven’t told mom or dad yet. Or even Judy for that matter. No one knows besides me and Adam, really.”
Jack’s ears raised while he put the meaning of Violet’s words together. Again, I blamed my lack of sleep for not reading between the lines. And Jack was the better detective of the two of us.
“Is your fiance a pred?” Jack asked.
Violet’s flinch confirmed it.
“You’ve been to the burrows,” she said after a moment of silence. “You know what folks are like. I’m from a traditional upbringing, but I’ve always sort of known that dating other rabbits wasn’t for me. I had to keep it very lowkey in high school which led to some...Conflicts. No one knew about it. I’m not even sure Judy did and we hung out the most together back when I was still at home. I just always hid that part of myself from everyone.”
Both Jack and I went quiet. I had no idea that another one of the Hopps was in the scene, given what I could remember from Judy’s homelife. It would make sense that Violet would want to keep a secret, especially with what I knew from experience.
“So,” she continued. “You can only imagine my surprise when I heard that Judy not only had a fox boyfriend but announced it to everyone in the family. She didn’t try to hide it at all. Even though dad lost it with her. And you lost your job. Both of you guys still had the guts to come out like that. And hearing Jack kind of cements it for me."
I wanted to tell her that it hadn’t quite gone so smoothly as she was picturing it had. And that it had been mostly Judy doing the talking. There had been plenty of trouble and a lot of tears with our decisions. Though, something told me that wouldn’t deter Violet based on what she said next.
“I’m going to tell them about Adam when I go back home next weekend for the brief autumn break. I think...I’m ready to do that now, seeing you two and all you’ve accomplished. That’s what this debt is really about. For giving me the courage to come out to my family. I’m going to be a nervous wreck on the train ride there though…”
“There’s no need to put yourself on the spot like that,” I offered. “You should try to be comfortable or you’ll make yourself sick. You have a good reason for not being open about it. I’m sure they’d understand.”
“No, it’s done. I already bought the tickets for both of us home. It’s been a long time coming anyway. So, I can do this. I know I can do this.”
"Well, I'm with you all the way. And I'm sure Judy is too."
Violet took a deep breath and looked up at me with her purple eyes.
“Thank you, Nick. For your support. For giving me the courage for this. And for being with my sister. Mom says all the time that it’s been forever since she’s seen Judy happy like this, and I believe her from the few talks we’ve had together over the phone. Thank you for looking out for my little sister and being there when I couldn’t. This lunch is the least I can do.”
The very mention of ‘lunch’ summoned the waiter at that exact moment. I suddenly realized just how hungry I was, with even the scent of my organic veggie rice bowl causing my mouth to water. Everything was swiftly served to us and we found ourselves wanting to dig in.
“Well,” I offered. “Your mother was very supportive of us. I can’t see them rejecting you or your fiance.”
“Logically I know you’re right, but that doesn’t change how nervous I am about it all. Especially with dad and his heart,” Violet smirked as she eyed my plate. “Don’t hold back on my account.”
I surprised even myself with how ravenous I was. My dish had been halfway vacuumed up before Violet could even pick up her fork. Jack was more calmly managing his chopsticks over carrot teriyaki, his traditional dish. Violet had something fresher in the form of a sort of fruit bowl. A dish for one of the last warmer days into autumn.
“Oh,” Violet spoke up after one mouthful. “Can you do me a favor and not mention we met to Judy? At least until the weekend? I wanted to surprise her. Both with my visit and with Adam.”
“I’m not a fan of keeping secrets from her,” I replied.
Violet laughed. “Good answer, mister fox. But this is just a tactful omission. I’ll be sure to mention it was all my idea the moment I see her.”
I sighed but couldn’t help but smirk myself. It was nice to see Violet go from a bundle of nerves to sounding a little excited to be back home again. I imagined it had been a long time for her and this subject had been eating on my mind.
“Fair enough,” I said. “I suppose I can mention that I met a certain someone else today as a distraction. Unless that was somehow your plan all along when meeting me.”
“Nope. I haven’t ever met that Angel vixen until just now. Doesn’t seem like the kind of person I’d want to associate with anyway.” Violet said as she raised her empty mug. “To winning the approval of the big sister.”
“To a less eventful day.”
Notes:
I promise that the next chapter will have Judy in it. But I hope you can enjoy formally meeting a key player in the sequel, all the same!
Chapter 42: Epilogue Part Two: Meet Virginia
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“...How late do you plan on working tonight then?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I replied, a smile on my face. “I only have...Fifty or so more of these things to finish up. Maybe two hours. Or eight, give or take.”
That was being very generous considering it was nearly 9 PM and the stack of reports wasn’t looking any smaller.
The station had long cleared out of the usual suspects for the day shift, leaving in a quiet row of desks as my only companions in the dark. Well, save for the cell phone left on speaker perched precariously at the very top of the paper pile. It made for a helpful motivator to finish proofing the reports quicker so I could look up and see Judy’s picture on the screen. And I had long learned my lesson to plug it into the wall for power when talking to her during my midnight escapades.
“You know,” Judy said to me. “Your co-workers are going to start thinking you don’t have a social life at all if you keep it up these late shifts. And *I’m* starting to think you don’t have any friends at work.”
“Well, you’re starting to sound like mom then,” I said, waving dismissively like Judy could see me. “I’ve reached out to folks, with the help of Jack. I’ve told you all about them already. Wolfard, Fangmeyer, and Clawhauser. All pretty much newbies like me. Our little predator crew.”
“Wow. Three whole mammals.”
“Hey now, I’ve not been one for trying. It’s not exactly easy to make friends as the only fox on the force.”
“They’ve been jerks?”
“No, I didn’t say that. But you know how it is. Slow to warm up to trusting new folks and all that. But they’re good people. Even Chief Bogo in his own bad way.”
“So, if they aren’t giving you a hard time and you’re only friends with three of them after two months on the force…”
I shrugged and smiled, closing the latest report. “What can I say? I’ve been busy with work.”
One down. Another forty nine to go.
I was now grateful for all the practice I had from Judy’s father at filling out reports in the burrow. It came in handy for proofreading others that didn’t belong to me. It was my idea to become more familiar with the precinct and making friends by doing them favors. Bogo never appreciated sloppiness and most were happy to pass off the inglorious work for early freedom. Somewhere along the line, my plan backfired and suddenly I was spending more time with the night guys than the actual officers of my shift during the day. My ear twitched at the sound of the midnight responders coming in all the way on the main lobby of the station. They had their own floor while I kept to mine.
I sighed and slipped out a new folder from under my cellphone to start again. My device chirped with something that sounded like it had been read out of the scout trooper manual.
“‘A good officer makes time to spend with his fellow partners, on and off the force. Camaraderie is the cornerstone to trust and can be vital in a life or death situation.’”
“Well, you know how I feel about parties.”
“I know,” Judy was starting to sound strained. “Just, please tell me you planned something for your birthday with them.”
“My birthday? When is that?”
“Tomorrow…”
“Is it? When did that happen?”
“Nick…”
A did a slight chuckle and pulled back on the teasing. “Look...I don’t know. Do I really know these guys well enough to...What? Ask them to a birthday party with me, mom, and Jack?”
“It doesn’t have to be that. Just go out for a few drinks with them. Get to know them a little better. You don’t have to spend any longer than like an hour, if you really want to. It’d be good for you, like exercise.”
“I already do my daily workout for what’s good for me. Two hours in the gym here every morning.”
“Think of this like flexing another muscle. You’re good with talking to people. Shouldn’t this be easy for you?”
“There’s talking to people and then there’s talking to people . You know how I am. I do like the folks here. It’s just...Hard to open up genuinely like that without that slow burn of warming up. It was easier with you. Heck, it was easier with Humphrey, Gideon, and the like because we spent so much time together and went through something intense with the Labor Day thing.”
“Why though? Why is this so hard?”
Judy’s tone took on a different tune. I recognized that voice of hers when she was trying to figure something out that bugged her during guitar lessons.
“I wish I could tell you,” I replied. “Then maybe I’d have it figured out by now. It’s just how I’m built, I guess. You remember how long it took me to come around with my feelings for you.”
“Boy, do I ever…”
“I don’t know. Sometimes all I need is a push in the right direction.”
Judy went worryingly quiet for a few moments. That was something I had learned to recognize in our talks over the phone together. I put down my pen and stared at the black device resting atop of the pile.
“So...If someone were to give you a push, you’d welcome it?”
“That depends,” I said. “What did you do?”
The phone began to violently buzz, signaling another call incoming. I sighed and picked it up only to find not Judy’s pretty face but Jack’s icon with his smug mug.
“Good luck!” chimed Judy before hanging up. “Don’t mess this up! And no texting me during! Don't want me making you ashamed in front of your friends. See you later, dumb fox.”
I had the mind to let Jack go into voicemail out of spite, especially if he was involved with whatever Judy was planning. The two claimed to hate each other, but when they worked together they were a force to be reckoned with. There was enough of me curious to finally pick up before the final ring ended.
“Hello, Jack.”
“Niiiiick, you up for some late night dinner with some friends? It’s my treat. Call it an early birthday present.”
Fighting the groan building in my stomach, I glanced over to the imposing stack of papers.
It was a Saturday night and it was by mere chance that we’d both have Sunday off. He would definitely use that as an excuse to hang out, even if we were supposed to have our small party with mom later in the evening when he got off.
Alright then. I’ll bite. “What do you have in mind?”
I don’t know what I was expecting.
Jack gave me the address to some hibachi place done up in neon lights on the border of the Tropic District; the kind of restaurant I could never afford to eat at on a consistent basis. That wasn’t what raised my eye though, as eastern styled eateries tended to be Jack’s preference. No, it was the group surrounding Jack that caught my attention.
There were six of them in total.
Jack had the middle at the grill, with an empty seat next to him for me. Next to my chair was Clawhauser, the tubby cheetah I had befriended at the front desk when arriving early in the morning for the gym. Wolfard was next, one of the only other canines in the precinct with a taste for the canine-safe chocolate I never touched from the station cafeteria. Bribing with food never hurt and our conversations had become more friendly over lunch. Where Wolfard was, Fangmeyer followed him during our brief encounters in the cafeteria. Clawhauser confirmed my own suspicions about the tiger and her interest in the young wolf was common gossip around the office. I could only imagine the trouble dating a fellow officer could get you into.
Those were the members from ZPD at the little party.
My surprise came the remaining two guests. One was a pig, wearing such casual clothes that I almost didn’t recognize her. Humphrey kept nearest to Jack, absorbed in every little thing the hare said but acknowledging my presence with an earnest smile. At the far corner of the grill was Gideon, looking the most out of place in his overalls and keeping to his drink.
Counting me, we made seven. A lucky number. And we were the only ones in the building, it being so late at night.
“Well, look who decided to pry himself away from his desk,” said Jack, patting my seat. “So happy you could join us to your own party, dude.”
“Let the record show that I’m here before there were physical threats made over the phone,” I replied as I sat down next to him.
“Good to see you too, Wilde,” said Humphrey. “Jack was just catching us up with your co-workers here.”
“It’s cool of you to keep in touch with your friends back in the burrows, Nickie,” said Clawhauser. “Gideon and Olivia are both really nice.”
“Only because you’ve just met them,” I replied with a smile. “Not that I’m complaining, but this is a surprise. What are you guys doing all the way up here?”
“Here for your birthday, of course,” Humphrey gave me a wink. “Jack got us all together and worked to have a nice evening out with everyone.”
“Just Jack, huh?”
“Why didn’t you tell us you had your birthday coming up, man?” asked Wolfard.
“Slick’s too busy enjoying his private suite in the offices,” added Fangmeyer.
“Hey, the rent’s cheap and there's a free shower. And I’d be lying if I said the gym wasn’t a big bonus.”
“Right, you’re a gym rat. I see you finishing up in the morning before I go in. Wolfard here could probably use a few rounds more in the gym, if how he handled that chase last week is any clue. Maybe you can ask slick for some pointers, Wes.”
“Hey now, I get plenty of exercise…”
“And then you offset it with eating the worst junk when we’re on patrol together. You’re about to turn into a doughnut from eating so many of them. No offense, Clawhauser.”
“None taken. I could marry doughnuts.”
I joined in on the laughs as we fell into conversation around our dinner entertainment. The chef, a tanuki, appeared at the grill with plenty of fish for the preds while I eyed the veggies with Jack and Humphrey. All the while, it was hard not to indulge in the conversation. Not that I had much choice in that regard.
Jack did his best to keep me in the center of attention. I didn’t mind it so much and it wasn’t like I was being asked hard questions. It was small talk, polite and simple. Privately I wondered if Jack had mentioned something to Wolfard and Fangmeyer before the dinner. Though they seemed more interested in each other than the actual meal.
“Word around the office is that they just started dating,” whispered Clawhauser when Wolfard had gotten up to use the restroom. Fangmeyer had also excused herself to make a call. “Aren’t they just adorable together?”
Jack raspberried next to me. “I don’t know about that. They remind me more of an old married couple at this point.”
“Oooh, I think someone’s jealous.”
“Oh, please. If I wasn’t jealous of Nick and his girlfriend then I could care less if Wolfard and Fangmeyer were a thing. So long as they do their jobs, we’re good.”
Clawhauser blinked a few times. “Huh. I didn’t think you’d have a girlfriend, Nickie.”
“Ouch,” I feigned being hurt a little by pretending to clutch my chest in pain. “You wound me, Benji.”
“Sorry! I just...You’re so serious at work all the time that I didn’t think you had time to be interested in dating. Out of everyone in the precinct, you’re next to the Chief when I think of someone who’s not the lovey-dovey type.”
It did sting a little to be compared to Bogo, but I continued to smile knowing not to take Clawhauser’s word too seriously.
“Well, she exists,” I said, pointing to Gideon with my thumb. “Ask Gid over there. She’s his roommate.”
“She’s roommates with another guy ?” asked Clawhauser. “Wow, that’s very trusting of you. No offense, but aren’t you the least bit worried that he might...I dunno. Steal her away from you?”
Everyone around the table besides Clawhauser laughed hard at the question. Even Gideon, who had been drinking at the time, spewed his sweet tea across the grill in a hearty chuckle. Clawhauser’s ears turned red and lowered them. I controlled myself after a few ‘hah’s’ and cleared my throat.
“It’s a long story,” I said. “Let’s just say I have good reason to believe that I never have to worry about old Gideon stealing Judy away from me.”
“Double wow. What kind of vixen is she then?”
My smile morphed into an awkward chuckle. “You’re making, uh, a lot of bad assumptions tonight, Benji.”
Clawhauser raised an eye but didn’t say anything until Wolfard stumbled back to the grill.
“Who told a joke?” asked the wolf. “I could hear you guys howling all the way from the bathroom.”
Perhaps it was feeling like the butt of a joke that made Clawhauser want to throw me under the bus when he shifted the conversation directly onto my lap.
“Nickie’s got a girlfriend.”
“You’re kidding,” Wolfard stared at me with genuine disbelief. “Like, for real? She’s not just someone you’ve met on the internet or FurBook?”
“And just what the heck is that supposed to mean? I don’t even use FurBook. What kind of rumors have you guys been spreading about me?”
“Hey, don’t look at me, man,” Wolfard pointed to Clawhauser. “Ask him.”
“All I ever said was Nickie comes in before I do and leaves after the janitors at night. That kind of sends a message.”
“It sure does. You put in like twelve hour shifts a day, man. It’s insane. If I, uh, if I had a girlfriend I know that would drive her up the wall. How does your girl stand it?”
“Well,” I said. “The distance thing certainly helps.”
I glanced over to the other side of the grill, with Jack, Humphrey, and Gideon. Jack had pulled out his phone and was pretending to ignore the conversation. Humphrey had a sly smirk on her face as she sipped at her own drink, showing no eagerness to lend me a hoof out of the grave I had dug for myself. Gideon was finding the floor more interesting to stare at. Thanks, guys.
“Well, now I’m really curious,” said Clawhauser, practically giddy with delight. “What’s she like?”
“Let’s do the detective work,” added Wolfard. “Obviously, she’s from the burrows if he’s doing long distance with her. I remember him mentioning he’s never been out of the city otherwise.”
“Oooh. A soft-spoken country sweetheart. I can see that with him.”
“She’s gotta be patient, else she’d never let him work this hard all night.”
“Patient. Definitely. Very quiet too, I’m guessing.”
Next to me, Jack snorted. I gave him a dirty look and he rolled his eyes at me before focusing back on his phone. I returned my attention to the ZPD side of the table.
“You two are enjoying this way too much.”
“It’s all in good fun, man.”
“Yeah, Nickie. We’re not doing it to mean. We’re just genuinely curious about her. It’s nice to know that you have a soft side.”
I didn’t much appreciate my relationship with Judy being gawked at like we were a part of some roadside attraction. Not that I thought they were being jerks or would have anyway of knowing the details. But my relationship status was my own business. And two could play at that game as I gave a wicked smirk to Wolfard.
“Fair enough. I’ll tell you all about mine if you tell me about yours, Wes.”
His own grin disappeared instantly. “I, uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, I think you do,” I muttered softly. “I do so love having a relationship that’s not under wraps by regulations of my job. It’s very liberating, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Alright, alright. Point taken. I’ll lay off…”
Even I could sense that I was being a wet blanket as the mood shifted into slightly awkward territory with an uncomfortable silence in the air. There was only the sizzling of the grill as the tanuki chef finished up carving the last of the vegetables.
I faked a cough. “Be right back. Bathroom.”
I didn’t care how awkward the peel out was, I just needed some air. The restaurant was starting to feel cramped and there was a slight headache building. The typical warning signs that I wasn’t enjoying myself at a party. I strode right past the bathroom and out the door into the rain.
Thankfully, like most buildings in the Tropic District, there was plenty of cover to be found outside the restaurant. The overhead above the main entrance provided excellent protection against a literal swimming pool of near-freezing rain. Even with the heaters, the city couldn’t change the temperature of November rainfall. And I could see my breath under the flickering azure neon lights.
Alone and leaning against the railing, overlooking the rest of the District below, all I needed was a cigarette to fit the mood. Of course, I hadn’t so much as touched one since that night in July.
“Taking a breather there, slick?”
I had wondered where Fangmeyer had wandered off to. I should have guessed she’d step outside to handle her call. Still, it surprised me that someone so big could be so quiet as she towered over me next to the guardrail.
“Just pacing myself,” I replied. “Wasn’t expecting a full blown party tonight, of all things.”
“It’s just a little something Jack wanted our help with. But the guys were completely on board from the word go.”
“A little too on board, in some regard.”
Fangmeyer let out a chuckle. “They don’t mean to be jerks. They’re just trying to get to know you better in their own way. We only ever seem to catch glimpses of you throughout the station. Hard not to be curious about what your story is.”
I huffed a bit. “That’s me. The elusive Hairless Mammal…”
“There’s some distance there with you and the guys. Not that it’s unusual, given it’s only your second month here. It took me a year before I stopped hating Wolfard, after all.”
“Safe to say you two have patched things up since then.”
Fangmeyer just shrugged while wearing a content smile I recognized every time I thought about Judy.
“It’s not so unusual. Enemies becoming good friends after spending enough time together. Of course, it doesn’t have to be that way. And I think everyone here just wants you to know that they’re not out to get you. That’s why we’re here. It’s good to make time for your fellow officers.”
I gave my own hearty chuckle. “Now you sound like Judy.”
“Is that right?”
“Yeah. She’s always keeping me company on the phone during my late shifts. She’s always thinking about me, hardly ever herself. She’s super smart and has more drive than the entire precinct put together. She even spreads that drive to you, like it's contagious. Makes you feel like you can take on the whole world. And I don’t think the guys know, but she worked with Jack on making tonight happen. Jack doesn’t have the brains to coordinate a clever scheme or a hustle.”
“Huh,” Fangmeyer faced away from me for a moment. “Your girlfriend sounds like she’s been good for you.”
I sighed and reached my paw out over the ledge, grasping for the raindrops beyond the cover. No matter how far I grabbed for them, they always had a habit of slipping through my fingers. And the rain was always so heavy in the Tropics with its cadence.
“I almost didn’t want to join the ZPD when I learned she’d be staying in the burrows.”
It felt stupid to blurt that out. But Fangmeyer just shrugged in her own corner of the rail.
“Oh? Nick the Police Machine didn’t want to be a cop?”
“Yeah. I was pretty stupid then too, not even counting all the trouble I went through to get the chance at joining. Besides the keyword there is ‘almost.’”
“Uh huh. She kicked your butt into changing your mind then?”
“Nah. I mean, she helped me make up my mind, for sure. But I think deep down I realized that I just wanted to do everything I could to help people. To stop seeing myself as a waste of space. To make the world a better place.”
“Well, it’s hard to save the world if you’re not a part of it, slick.”
“I suppose that’s what it comes down to. Being scared to be a part of the world. Phantom fears and stuff like that. I don’t know. Had a small encounter with an old flame during the Big case that got me thinking the other month. Sometimes I need a push to get me started in the right direction. Or maybe I’m just being stupid.”
I expected a laugh or a dismissive wave of the paw. Not blatant honesty from Fangmeyer as she said.
“I don’t think so. You’re in better shape than a lot of us were our first months on the force. I believe your pal Jack once tried to prove himself by challenging Bogo to a boxing match if it meant giving him a chance at a real patrol. That’s probably what softened him up when you showed up.”
“Hah. Jack’s never mentioned that before.”
“Oh, he and the Chief were quite intimately familiar with each other so I heard, with how heated their arguments got in public. Clawhauser was running a gambling ring on if the two would just give up and ask each other out already.”
“I don’t think Bogo’s Jack’s type,” I said with a smile. “Is all you guys do is gossip about who’s dating who?”
“Nah, only most of the time.”
I gave a genuine laugh and trailed my gaze out to the city. The soft glow of all the buildings was beautiful at night, especially in the rain. It almost made the slums of the city look beautiful. Fangmeyer kept quiet to my side enjoying the same view.
“So,” I said. “How did the phone call with Judy go?”
Fangmeyer went real quiet for a moment before chuckling. “What gave it away?”
“Little things. Judy wasn’t exactly subtle in getting me out here, coupled with pressuring me all week to hang out with my co-workers. Jack’s not clever enough to hatch a plan like this on his own, like I said. So, I doubt Judy would leave it all up to him without some sort of assurance. A partner to make sure things go well.”
“What about Clawhauser or Wolfard?”
“Clawhauser can’t keep a secret, that much Judy knows with all I told her about him. And Judy has been having a little trouble with a wolf back in the burrows at the moment. No offense to Wolfard but it makes sense she wouldn’t go for him as a first choice. You’d be the most approachable of the three...And you knew who Judy was before I mentioned she was my girlfriend.”
“Hah. Pretty perceptive, slick. You’d make a half-decent detective.”
“Ouch. Only half-decent?”
“Half-decent for being half-right. Judy didn’t call me. She met with me in person.”
I went quiet for ten whole heartbeats after I processed the meaning of Fangmeyer’s words. “Wait, she’s here in the city?”
Fangmeyer put a paw to her mouth followed by an out-of-character sound from her lips. “Aw, that face. I’m sorry, but you look so adorable right now.”
It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t seen Judy in person in months. Since the start of September. Sure, we had our daily phone calls and we tried one of those new video chat systems, Swipe, on Judy’s cruddy laptop to hilarious degree. But the last time I had physically been with her, she was stepping onto the first train into Bunnyburrow.
Judy had been working hard these past couple of months. Even going so far as to get a part-time job at the guitar store in Podunk to support her family in between making music. I was under the distinct impression that between her work there and the low income it provided for pleasure, she wouldn’t be able to afford a visit to the city for at least a couple of months.
My tail was fluttering around behind me as I gave Fangmeyer my full attention.
“Seriously, Jaz,” I said. “She’s here? Like, right now?”
“Easy, tiger,” she teased. “She asked that I not tell you until she could surprise you tomorrow. But I find it hard to resist keeping it to myself with those sad puppy eyes you keep giving me.”
“I’m not giving you sad puppy eyes,” I growled. “Why wouldn’t she tell me about this?”
“Wouldn’t be much of a surprise then, would it? Before you get all uppity, think for a moment. Do you really think she did this to be mean? Or pull a fast one on you?”
“No,” I admitted with a sigh. “She loves her surprises. I just...I wasn’t expecting her to be here. With everything she’s been telling me, I thought she would be too busy. And I feel a little manipulated by everyone involved.”
“No one was trying to be manipulative, Wilde. Just trying to get you to come out of your shell more. That’s what this was all about, ultimately.”
“What do you mean?”
“She told me all about you,” continued Fangmeyer. “After she tracked me down on FurBook. I was really surprised it was her, with all we knew about you we didn’t think you had a girlfriend. She thought you were having a hard time fitting in and wanted to do something about it. But she wanted to make it feel like it was something you did on your own. A push in the right direction without her holding your paw. So, she planned this dinner and the midnight movie we’re supposed to see afterwards.”
I went quiet for a moment and returned my attention to the rain. Thinking.
“You mean the world to her, you know. The guys would be really jealous if they knew about her. But that’s just it. I think she didn’t want to be the center of attention by coming with us. She wanted that all on you so you’d make friends.”
I smirked slightly. “You’d make a half-decent detective, Fangmeyer.”
“Only half-decent?”
“Half-decent for being half-right,” I replied. “Where are you supposed to meet with her next?”
I apologized to Wolfard the moment I returned to dinner and we were all chums again.
As expected, when we returned to the table Jack proposed we go see a movie following our dinner. I went along with it, having little resistance to their plans. It was always amusing to outplay the ones thinking they outplayed you. And I was sitting there so smug in the back of the cab as we drove off for my favorite theater in the city, Pawthaniel Hall.
It was one of those old movie theaters that never got made anymore. Back from the days where movies were all the public had for mass entertainment and they were steeped in extravagance. The walls were a maroon color with peeling paint. Bright lights and neon signs, lighting up the slummy area the building was in around the lower downtown. The new overpass ran right over it, plunging the area into advanced darkness with the late hour.
While Jack and the others went off to pay for the tickets to see a new movie I had been meaning to get around to see. I excused myself with the reason that the food from dinner hadn’t agreed with me. As the group stepped inside the lobby, I wandered off to the back alley and waited in the shadows.
Sure enough, within minutes a familiar looking rabbit peaked her head around the corner. It was hard not to get excited, even if I was staring at Judy’s back as she walked right by me. And it was all I could do to not embrace her from behind immediately. Even if I wanted to complain to her for keeping this visit a secret.
I settled on the next best thing. Scaring her.
“Boo.”
Judy had been improving on controlling her shrieks, probably from the last time I spooked her. She inhaled sharply and spun to face me, nose twitching. Relief stretched across her face, followed by outrage.
“You jerk,” she said, pushing me slightly.
“I could say the same thing,” I replied with a smile. “Plotting with my co-workers behind my back, are we?”
“I should have known that Fangmeyer couldn’t keep a secret…”
“She was doing fine up until the point where I started asking the right questions. I wouldn’t blame her. It wasn’t your best hustle, after all. And I tend to have trouble letting things be.”
I opened my arms up. Judy almost immediately came to me in an embrace, head buried into my chest. Even on a cold November night, I felt warm again.
“I missed you,” I said.
“I missed you too,” Judy replied, her voice no longer sounding so annoyed. “Dumb fox.”
“You got a funny way of showing it. I’m absolutely hurt, hurt I say, that finding me wasn’t the first priority when you arrived. Now I see you sulking around the back alleys like some sort of criminal.”
“Only to keep things moving,” she grunted as she broke away from me. “Jack’s impossible to work with, him having that ego.”
“Still, it’s very dangerous to go wandering alone around the streets at night. All sorts of unsavory characters about. I would get worried, especially with you not telling me.”
“I’ll be fine,” she assured me. “You, however, have a party to go back to.”
I rolled my eyes as she threw the focus of the conversation back onto me and motioned for me to go back to the theater.
“You’re keeping your friends waiting. If you don’t hurry back, they’re going to think you up and abandoned them. The show’s going to start soon.”
“It is,” I agreed.
“Then you should get going…”
I looked into her eyes and frowned. “You don’t want to come with me?”
“No,” Judy said, facing away from me. “They’re your friends. It wouldn’t be appropriate for me to be there. I’ll be with you all day tomorrow instead.”
We both went quiet for a moment as a car passed us by on the streets. The electricity of the old building hummed along the wires running above us. And there was the distant roar of the highway beyond that. The sounds of the city at midnight.
“I’m not ashamed of you, you know.”
Judy winced and continued to keep away from me. “What are you talking about?”
“Your whole plan was kinda flawed. If you were going to be in the city yourself, it would have more sense to be directly involved with the party. That’s what struck me as odd. Why haven’t you introduced yourself to anyone but Fangmeyer? Why keep it a secret from everyone, not just me? Because you knew from what I told you about Fangmeyer that she can keep a secret. And you knew she wouldn’t judge me for dating you.”
Judy never lied. Or when she did, it was always obvious in the way her voice changed and eyes shifted. She had a terrible poker face and she knew it. Instead she spoke in something of a whisper.
“...Twenty seven just sounds so old to me. Such a difference. And...I dunno. People make assumptions. People stare. I know what my image is. And I didn’t want your new friends to look down on you for dating someone like me.”
“Let people think what they want,” I said with a shrug. “If they’re that petty, then I don’t think they’re worth being friends of mine. Not that I think they ever would. They’re good mammals.”
“You never know…”
“Then they won’t know what they’re missing. They won’t see what I see. A very strong, smart and beautiful rabbit. And nothing, not even public humiliation, is ever going to change how I feel about her.”
She huffed and continued to face away from me. Though her ears were lit up like two traffic lights in the dark.
“Do you want to come with me to the movies?” I asked. “It can be our first real date, like we always talked about doing.”
“Our first date was supposed to be the surprise for you tomorrow. I had it all planned out and you ruined it.”
“Oops. My bad.”
“I guess we’re both just a pair of dummies then.”
“Nah. I got you beat in spades in that department. I’m the dumb fox, after all.”
Judy huffed a laugh this time and a smile stretched across her lips. Lips that I was starting to want to press against mine. But this wasn’t the place for that. Maybe in the dark of the movie theater.
“If you want me to come,” she said. “Then I guess I can join you. You’re paying though.”
“Worth every penny,” I replied, offering my paw which she accepted.
Returning to the theater, Pawthaniel Hall had every bit of the glitz of its heyday, in my eyes. I was suddenly very excited to be seeing an old fashioned movie again.
At the booth outside, a bored-looking teenage porcupine looked up from his cellphone at our approach. I noticed his eyes catch our paws locked together. A puzzled look stretched across his face as I tapped at his window.
“Two adults for Social Netbark, please.”
The rest of the party were already inside the lobby, stopping at the snack bar to load up before the movie. It being a midnight showing, the building was practically empty. Clawhauser had two big buckets of popcorn in his arms. Humphrey kept next to Jack with her box of Squelish Fish while Jack gave Judy an eye raise at our approach. I nodded to Gideon, sulking around in the corner before catching Fangmeyer and Wolfard trying to sneak away with sharing a soda together. A coy smile was stretched across Fangmeyer’s face when she noticed Judy with me.
Wolfard and Clawhauser looked like they didn’t know how to react to the rabbit I was holding paws with. Confused but also strangely elated.
“Hey guys,” I said, waving with my free paw. “Meet Judy.”
Notes:
Rereading this again, wow. I remember going to the movies, do you guys remember going to the movies? Those were the days before the plague hit...
We'll get to see Clawhauser's full reaction next chapter as well round out the story (for real this time)! While not exactly a trilogy, these three epilogue chapters were meant to be a sendoff, so expect goodbyes from almost every single character we've met next week. Call it a Christmas gift to you as thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter as our favorite couple is back for Nick's 27th birthday party!
Chapter 43: Epilogue Part Three: Best of Me
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The day I turned twenty-seven was the most crowded I ever saw our apartment.
Mind you, this was much later in the evening. Long after I had slipped out at around five in the morning, carefully removing my arm from the sleeping rabbit in my bed and creeping out to the gym. Cake was promised and I had to make sure to get my routine in. And it was nice to see Clawhauser and Fangmeyer again, even after the dinner and movie the night before.
“Someone’s burning the candle at both ends,” Jasmine commented. “We didn’t get home till midnight at last night.”
“Look who’s talking,” I shot back with a smirk.
“Hey, we’re the ones with work today. Shouldn’t you be at home snogging your bunny? Benji has been beside himself with delight over meeting her.”
I didn’t even have to look at Clawhauser to tell he was radiating a glow of strong emotion, like a big rainbow of happiness. And I’m the one with the birthday today…
“She’s just so cute!” He said with both paws to his cheeks. “The pairing is even more perfect than I could have possibly imagined!”
I suppose you could say I was a little relieved. Not that I thought the guys would shun me for dating Judy. But you’d never know what to expect when we walked into the movies, paw in paw together. We certainly got some stares from the other patrons. But my friends were nothing but supportive and shielded us from any glaring eyes. It was a wonderful cherry on the evening. Even if I was paying for the late night eating into my usual schedule.
“I wanted to thank you for the fun last night,” I said to the pair. “Wolfard too.”
“He’s probably still passed out in his blues, knowing him.”
“Regardless. I had a lot of fun. Thank you. It meant a lot to me.”
Fangmeyer took my meaning more than Clawhauser did by her smile. “No problem, Wilde. What are the plans for today then?”
“Traditionally, I loiter around the apartment watching movies until cake time. But today...I don’t know what Judy has planned. It’s going to be a complete surprise. Definitely still cake though. You guys are welcome to stop by after your shift’s over.”
“We’ll try to make it then. What kind of cake should we expect?”
“Carrot cake.”
I grinned to myself as I turned to leave for the gym, watching Clawhauser swoon over my shoulder.
I kept the workout short and sweet. It wasn’t a push day, though I had certainly gained ten pounds of muscle since I started exercising in the station’s personal gym. It was starting to affect my old wardrobe. But problems for later.
A shower and a jog later and I made it back home before mom had to clock in for her morning shift. The Zoot Suit offered many delectable dishes but the coffee was like motor oil sometimes. Mom preferred her own brand, which tasted better when shared.
I never thought I’d see the day our kitchen was crowded. Jack was there, of course, having spent the night on our couch and still dressed in his disheveled blues. It was rare to see him drink coffee when he was a tea guy. Humphrey sat next to him. She must have arrived recently, given that Jack offered her his place to stay for the night. Gideon claimed the blow up mattress and was working the stove. Mom was teaching him how to make cinnamon toast, a recipe he could use for his plans in baking. She came to me straight away with a cup of fine roast.
“Happy birthday, sweetie.”
“Thanks, mom,” I glanced around the room. “Judy’s still sleeping in?”
“She’s worse than you were,” Jack commented over his mug. “Now look at you. You even beat baker boy, over here.”
“Sorry, Mr. Savage. I didn’t meanta disturb you.”
“You’re fine, kid. You get used to the noise living in the city. Nothing keeps you up for long. Not even foxes with the munchies.”
“Perhaps we should discuss our plans for the day though,” said Humphrey after she took a satisfying sip. “What did you want to do for your big day, Wilde?”
Give me a blank piece of paper and I’ll come up with nothing to draw. Everytime.
Thankfully, I wasn’t left “umming” for long as the door to my bedroom popped open. She stepped out, fully dressed in her jeans and hoodie, ready for the day in the breezy autumn of the city.
“We’re going to check out the Tropic District,” said Judy. “They’re setting up the blimps there for the Thanksgiving Parade and we can get a good view of them from the gondolas. Then there’s an old shop in the Sahara that’s devoted to B-movies. After that is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in the art block around Savanna. We’ll be home in time for dinner.”
“That,” I ran through the play by play in my head. “That sounds pretty awesome, actually.”
“Wonderful,” said mom. “That’s more than enough time to get everything ready for the party. We can expect seven for dinner tonight.”
I did the math quickly in my head. “Seven?”
“Vivi wanted to stop by when she got out of class,” said Judy. “If that’s okay.”
I hadn’t seen Judy’s sister since the day she treated me to lunch. But I had heard all about the brouhaha in the burrows with the announcement around her engagement. “Of course. And three of the guys from the precinct might stop by for cake too.”
“Perfect. That means I won’t get fat eating leftovers.”
Humphrey chuckled and downed her entire cup. “We’d better get moving then if we’re going to fit that itinerary.”
“True. I can handle the cooking from here, Gideon. Why don’t you get dressed?”
“Thanks, ma’am.”
My body was screaming at me and the warm toast nestled in my stomach, but I ignored it. Birthdays only came once a year and I would fall back on my usual routine the next day. For now, I wanted to make today last as long as it could.
We caught a bus up to the Tropics, enjoying the giant heaters while we could.
An early mist was over the city as its streets came back to life. Winter was just around the corner, and the morning frost was a reminder of that fact. I would be grateful when my winter coat grew in, but I’d have to settle for the artificial heating in the Tropic and Sahara for the day. Even Judy was starting to look a little whiter and fuller in the fur. Along the way, the leaves scattered in the streets. Mid November was such a dreary time for the sights of the city. But good company made everything warmer.
We piled out onto the gondola waiting deck. It was quiet for a Sunday, with most people saving their time off for the coming parade in a couple of weeks. No one thought to use the opportunity to get a sneak peek.
“How did you think of this one?” I asked Judy.
“Fangmeyer suggested it. She lives around here, so she sees the blimps all the time from her apartment. Good for a first date?”
I chuckled. “A little crowded for a date.”
Our group huddled close together for warmth, mom’s coffee like fire in our bellies but slowly dying as the morning became midday. We waited for the next gondola for a better view of the canopy. Gideon lingered in the back of the pack. A whine from him drew our attention as we turned to see him breathing heavily.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “Just ever since...You know. It’s the heights. I always get kinda nervous ‘round them.”
“It’s all good, kid,” said Jack. His ears perked at the arrival of the first gondola. “Why don’t you two go on ahead and we’ll catch up?”
I frowned but wasn’t about to complain with some solitude in what was sure to be a very social day. Nor was Judy, by how she tugged me by the paw towards the gondola operator. The lemur gave us an off color glance, but didn’t stop us from entering our own box together.
The gears grinded and there was a lift in the soles of my feet. Followed by a slight breeze as our gondola slowly swayed through the morning air. Over the trees and into the wide valley, the weather wall created the Tropic District. Cars and buses clogged the freeways through the forest below. Even the angry honks sounded distant from up in the sky.
I watched Judy settle in by leaning over the rails. “Maybe I didn’t think this through very well.”
“What?” I asked. “With it being crowded? I don’t mind. I’m just happy to see you again.”
Her breath fogged the air.
“I am too. Just...I could only plan to be here for today. I need to get to work so I can hold the job at the guitar shop. And I wanted to give you more. Do more. Afford more. Everything we’re doing today is just loitering and cheap. I don’t even know if you’re going to like what I had in mind for your present.”
“I’ll love it because it’s from you.”
She smiled. But then it soured.
“See, you can say that and even think that. But what if you deserve better and you don’t even realize it? I know it’s stupid that I always think like this. But I just want…I want things to be good today. Especially after the last two months apart.”
She didn’t sense me come up behind her, pressing my chest against her back in an embrace. My snout nuzzled past her ears while my arms trapped her in place.
“I’m having fun,” I whispered into them. “I promise.”
I listened to her breathe heavily and then felt her lean deeper into me.
“Well...Good.”
An awkward silence followed, though I didn’t mind it. My company made it a perfect quiet. The dinky little heater on the gondola couldn’t match the warmth of Judy’s body against mine. My arms crossed as I held her a little closer.
“Can we talk about how familiar this is?” She asked.
“You mean being on the gondola?”
“Yeah. I’ve never been here before but I feel like I have.”
“Hah, weird,” I thought back to all the times I rode on one of the skylines as a kid. It never felt familiar, yet it did with Judy. “Maybe it’s the view.”
Beneath us, the forest opened up to a clearing in the trees. The canopy provided enough cover for the balloons at the ground level. But from the sky, the bright neon colors of the blimps exposed themselves from the marqueesee. Various inflated cartoon characters with ridiculous proportions that bounced in the wind and drizzle. The district heaters only worked on the forest floor, creating an updraft that wobbled our car.
“Too bad I’ll miss the actual parade,” said Judy.
“Oh? I have your word that there will be no surprise visits from here on out?”
“Promise. It was pricey enough buying tickets for Gideon and Humphrey here too. Travis and Angus couldn’t make it cause they’re busy. Maybe next time…”
I chuckled while staring into the goofy eyes of some Saturday morning hero I used to watch. Some wolf in red spandex. A dopey grin permanently stretched on his face. It must have been blissful to be floating around the sky, not a care in the world.
“Just as well. I was thinking bout taking some time early next year to come and visit you. See what you’ve done with my old place.”
“ Your old place, huh?”
“That’ll give us some privacy, at least. Right?”
She wrapped herself in my arms. “I guess this will do for now.”
A few cellphone pictures of the parade display later and we waited on the other side of the lift. Judy and I had a few minutes to cuddle on the bench, earning a few glances from various pedestrians. But no one bothered us when Jack, Gideon, and Humphrey arrived. Gid looked a little green around the gills, but no worse for wear. We enjoyed the brief view together before continuing with our plans for the day.
Sahara Square was one of the places I least frequented. Even in my busking days where I learned to walk the streets, I avoided it whenever possible unless it was the middle of winter. The heat made every activity unbearable.
We shed our jackets the moment we stepped foot past the barriers dividing the districts. Iron walls of heavy metal kept the extreme temperature differences at bay all year round.
“This is just screwy,” muttered Gideon as he tied his denim coat around his chubby waist. “Might as well just set up a farm here and never haveta leave with summer all year long.”
“It doesn’t work like that, kid,” Jack replied, prepared for the heat with a tank top underneath his coat. “In the more extreme areas of the city, you need a special permit to live there. They usually take mammals who need the environments as a priority, and offer plenty of buffer room for that number. It may not look it, but places like the desert and the tundra are limited real estate. And they can get quite crowded.”
A herd of camels jogging past us drove home Jack’s point.
It hit me as we followed them over the dunes, finding what passed as a city street in the biome. I was tired. The ride in the gondola provided a brief break from the walking. But with the exercise in the morning I was starting to pant.
“Catching up to the other end of the candle there, Wilde.”
Humphrey wasn’t doing much better in the heat. Sweat poured from her brow like a faucet, though dressed in her state trooper sweats she looked made for the dry air. It would be nice to walk around with no fur. But the whole Hairless Mammal look left much to be desired.
“Powering through it,” I replied with a grin. “This doesn’t come anywhere close to the Labor Day Party.”
“So I heard. There’s still gossip these days about the black mark on that tree, by the way. Among other things.”
Ahead of us, Judy and Jack argued over directions to the place. I gathered that the video store came from Jack’s suggestion as an idea on how to spend the day. After he claimed to know the way, despite passing the same cactus for the fifth time, Judy brought out the cellphone and her GPS. That’s when the fighting started, with Gideon in the middle of them keeping things civil.
“She’s been busy,” Humphrey commented. “Though I suspect you know all about that.”
“With the band thing? Yeah. She mentions it all the time.”
“More the hive she’s stirring in the townhall with Stu’s new bill. Despite her father’s insistence, she’s still getting involved in every way she can. Folks are starting to notice. Especially the older generation, stuck in their ways as they are.”
“Well, it’s a good thing they aren’t the types to attend rock concerts then.”
“Mmm, true. Though those fliers they’ve been passing out at the shows have a way of ending up in the wrong paws.”
“You’ve been to one of their shows?”
“I like to support local artists,” Humphrey’s smirk said everything. “Been trying to spread the word around the station, and with folks who might be interested in their genre. It’s a little loud. But they’re having fun and that’s all that matters for me.”
I owed Humphrey a lot, being my eyes on Judy when I couldn’t be there. I trusted Judy, but as she got more popular with music, the more people would be interested in her. Including the unsavory types. I stuck my tongue out in disgust at the thought of every guy at the show attempting to hit on her after their band’s set. It was a nasty tradition amongst the rock and roll lifestyle. Never hurt to have a police officer nearby when things got rowdy.
“Thanks, Humphrey.”
“Maybe one day I’ll finally drag Hank to a show too. You should see him now, by the way, since he took up the vacant sheriff post.”
“Oh boy...Ballooned up like a blimp?”
“No. The opposite, actually. He’s been walking everywhere around the burrow instead of using the car. So, he’s slimmed down a fair bit. Still chubby though, sporting some new grey in his fur.”
“Hah. I’ll have to remember to say hi when I next visit.”
“Stop by when you get around to it too. You know how quiet the burrows can get.”
We weren’t left in the heat for long. The sand gave way to stone streets soon enough and with that came the stores. The aroma of spice filled the air as tarps blanketed the sky to give the various patrons cover from the sun.
Many out of place mammals dealt with the heat in their own ways, fanning themselves or keeping to the air conditioned bazaars left open for the public. Each district of Zootopia had its own ecosystem, and thus its own way of life amongst its denizens. No one paid us any particular mind as we marched to the tune of Judy’s GPS.
One missed turn and several roundabouts later and we arrived at the most unassuming video store I had ever seen.
“Looks like an old gas station,” I commented as we stepped past the holes where the tanks had been uprooted from the ground.
It never ceased to amaze me that video stores could remain open in this day and age. Forget DVDs, some folks still used VHS, like my mom. Meanwhile, the rest of the world steamed forward into the golden age of online streaming. They’d never know about the treasure trove of old movies they were missing. Shlock. Glorious, glorious shlock.
“It’s like every garage sale I’ve ever been to put together into one building.”
I marveled at the literal mountains of movies around the shelves. Everything had that old yellow tint to it from too much time spent in boxes. This complemented the musk in the air, fermenting from being trapped in a building with all the doors shut to keep the cold in. We walked into a cloud of ancient dust from the 1970’s. The heyday of bad, for-TV movies.
“It’s cool, right?” Asked Jack. He wore my same childish grin. “I heard about this from McHorn and checked it out after work one day. They have every possible bad movie you can think of.”
“Is that...A poster of Carmen Minkchell?”
“Dude, he’s in everything. Check this out. They have those VHS tapes that no one ever watched but kept in their cabinets. Like commercials and random schlock.”
“Hah, I remember stacking those up to make little castles when we were bored.”
The rest of our group didn’t share in our same giddiness as we dug through the treasure trove of terrible films, all of which I would happily watch on a boring Sunday afternoon. That would be one of the few times I could actually enjoy a beer, laughing with my best friend at the absurdity of a predictable plot and cheesy lines.
While Jack and I kept to the action movies, I spied Gideon going about on his own through the old cooking show tapes. Humphrey made herself at home with flicks she probably recognized from when she was a kid. I casted a troubled frown at Judy while she sat in the corner. She smiled back and rubbed at her leg. Don’t worry, I’m fine. Just resting. Go have fun.
Jack kept me distracted enough to not stress it.
“I was thinking about making a pit stop here every weekend,” he said. “Find something fun to watch and just chill out together once a week. You know they do internet shows where it’s just a couple of friends watching bad movies and commenting on them?”
“What? Like Mystery Science Cheetah?”
“Yeah, I dunno. Just to keep things regular. You hear about Longhorn?”
“The Captain? Yeah, he’s retiring, right?”
“Yep. Long, long career for Longhorn. Longer than Bogo’s even. Just never wanted the pressure of being the Police Chief. Still, it’s a gap with him gone. They’re shuffling folks around. Bogo said my name’s been brought up for making Corporal.”
“So soon? That’s great, man.”
“The bigger paycheck is great,” said Jack as he peeled at the sticker on some DVD. “But it’s not a gift thing, so he explained it to me. They want me more in the limelight. Longer hours. Less time on the streets, more PR.”
“Ah. The golden boy.”
“It’d mean a harder time remaining partners too. Especially as the ranks go up and up. I told him I’d think about it if the offer came up again.”
“I think you should go for it, man. It’s what you wanted to do since you were a kid.”
“Yeah, but I’d rather not leave you behind again.”
I laughed and tapped him on the shoulder in a fist. He practically dropped the box he was holding.
“It’s not so lonely here anymore.”
He turned to hide his smirk. “I suppose that’s one good thing about you having someone to pine over.”
We didn’t end up buying anything, though we put a few titles that caught our eye to memory. Jack promised to search for trailers of them on the internet later. By the time we left the shop, and the scorching Sahara, behind us, it was past noon.
We took the subway to get to Savanna, thankful for the respite to let us change back into our jackets for the returning chill of late autumn. Outside, the trees stood bare as they whizzed by like brown blurs through the windows. Color returned to the world when we reached the art student block.
That’s what locals called the space between the universities, where young blood conjugated to find their own identities. Jack called it a petri dish of hipster culture when he made the rounds on patrol. Every shop had a new age vibe to it. Hemp the popular decor. Dreads in the furs of most kids we passed by. Part of me was glad I skipped college and the “finding myself” phase in favor of a mid-twenties life crisis.
We had lunch at a cafe in the square, a pleasant little place more focused on sweets than savories. I settled on a bugs/lettuce/tomato salad, minus the bugs, while the others looked at the sandwiches. Judy called me a “cheap date” as she bit into her sweet potato sub. I tactfully reminded her that there would be plenty of cake and dinner later. Mom would kill me if I ruined my appetite.
While I waited for my dressing, I lingered with Gideon studying the menu.
“Choices, choices,” I said to him.
“Huh?” He replied. “Oh. I ain’t even hungry, tell you the truth. Just lookin.”
“Fishing for new recipe ideas, huh?”
He wore the first genuine smile on his face I had seen from him all day. “Heh, yeah, actually. Gotta get the bake shop idea off the ground somehow. Figured the city’s a chance to see how the big leagues handle it.”
“And here I thought you were just joining us to celebrate my birthday,” I backtracked when I saw the look of hurt in his eyes. “Relax, Gid. I get it. It’s a busy time for you. I really appreciate you coming up with your finances so tight. How is the business going, anyway?”
He relaxed a bit. “People are buying. But it hurts not having a place they can find you, know what I’m sayin? Can’t do business like this online, though Jude offered it with her laptop. Made out well at the fall festival. Spreading the word and the like that way, which works better in the country. But...Just can’t make a living off it. Not yet.”
“Give it time. It’s only the first year. No shame in working the day job at Sweet Thing, right?”
“Helps that Jude has her job up in Podunk to split the bills too. I can get ta savin again.”
“Things going well between you two? I only hear her side of the story.”
“I ain’t gonna pretend it’s all peaches and cream. She’s had her share of bad days and I’ve had mine. But there’s been progress. It’s slow as molasses. But it’s there. She’s come to me for help before, and I think she knows I’ll listen if she needs it.”
A frown cracked my lips. “What sort of help?”
“Dunno if I should go into details, but...Loneliness, mostly. When she didn’t want to bother you because you were handling a case.”
We always knew long distance would be rough. Every moment I had my phone off during the Mister Big case was pure agony, though we both knew work had to come first. Especially when citywide manhunts were concerned and Bogo demanded radio silence from our families to prevent distraction. I liked to think I made up for it with a whole night spent on the phone, telling Judy the details after the arrests had been made. The first two month weren’t easy, but we kept a solid line of communication up when we could. Giving each other space, but trying to talk everyday. Even sent a few care packages to each other, with help from our moms.
Still, nothing compared to actually seeing her again.
“Yeah,” I said. “I can relate.”
“She won’t ever tell me, course. But I think she’s been looking forward to today a great deal. S’why I’ve been staying out of the way, if you’ll pardon me being quiet like.”
“Yeah, I get it. Just...Don’t be a stranger. You’re my friend too, you know?”
“Thanks, Nick. I appreciate that. I really do.”
The rest of the walk to the actual Hall of Fame wasn’t long from the cafe. We knew we were at the right place by the elephant-sized electric guitar statues out front, opening into a field of concrete. At the center of it all was a great pyramid of multicolored glass. A literal rainbow of color and sound, with the bass trembling even outside the building. My ears perked to the rumble of the familiar oldies tunes, dusting the cobwebs in my memory. Most I hadn’t heard since the radio was a thing people actively listened to around the house.
I remembered coming to the Hall of Fame when I was a kit with a passing interest in music. Long before I ever owned an actual guitar. I’m pretty sure we never went back because I insisted on reading the name of every Hall of Famer etched into the marble stones that made up the walkway to the main entrance. Mom was always patient with me, but there were limits.
New names had been added since my last visit and I resisted the compulsion to search every brick as we made our way to the front door. The city owned the building, meaning no entry fee save for what came out of our taxes, according to Jack’s grumbles. Not that we could hear him once we stepped inside. The speakers finished their set of Wish You Were Here, giving us a lull to look around.
It pleased me to see the place reasonably crowded. Pop music hadn’t completely overtaken people’s tastes these days. There were plenty of curious kids, just as wide eyed at the displays of the old rock shows as I was. Everything got divided into decades, with the earliest exhibits depicting classics like Chuck Beary’s acoustic and sailor cap from the 50’s or Bill Hairy and his plaid jacket. They kept lots of props from the old concerts, especially ones hosted in Zootopia itself. They said music came from a time when the city was still growing. Folks saw it as a way to connect to each other. Maybe you couldn’t love your wolf neighbor, if you were a startled sheep away from your herd for the first time in the big city. But you could appreciate a simple rift shared over a guitar on the steps of your shared brick building.
Our interest turned to the more recent decades.
The 70’s saw the start of punk rock in response to subculture tendencies as rock and roll grew bigger. It formed back when the goal wasn’t about being the most popular or the loudest. Rather it was all about being something different. The definition I always clung to of punk was simple. Two mammals are talking and one of them asks the other “what is punk?” The questioned mammal kicks over a trash can and says “that’s punk.” The inquisitive mammal repeats the action of kicking the can and asks again “that’s punk?” The answer is “no, that’s not punk. That’s trending.”
Everyone in our group gravitated to their own decade. Gideon surprised me by sticking to the earliest stuff in the 50’s. Jack had his 90’s vibe. Humphrey was a flower child at heart from the 60’s and 70’s. I kept to Judy’s paw as we traveled to the newest exhibits.
“Think you’ll ever get here one day?” I asked.
“That’s the plan,” she smiled back. “Screw the guys that say rock is dead. Our band is alive and kicking.”
“Despite the naming problem,” I chuckled. “Getting along with Travis then?”
“For the most part. He wasn’t too thrilled about starting from zero given the original band was his idea. He doesn’t like to share the spotlight. That’s why he’s moved up to rhythm guitar.”
“That’s right, you got your new bass player. I haven’t met them yet.”
“They’re very stoic, so they get on with Angus. Less quiet though. I think they may be related to Gazelle, though they refuse to comment on it.”
“Well, that’s a twist. They any good on the bass?”
I could listen to Judy talk about her band for hours. And so, I often did. It was a wonderful hobby for her. Seeing her starting her own band, taking the front stage as the singer and lead guitarist felt like something she was born to do. Or the next best thing. We talked in length about my career in the police force just as much. But there was less red tape in music.
“Very good,” she said with a wicked grin. “We’re almost ready for our first real show. Travis and I are working on a plan on how to approach the local venues. He’s good with the money side of things.”
“And you bring the noise?”
Judy flexed her left paw. “Adam said that having prey mixed with preds is a good image. Especially having someone with ‘a strong personality’ leading the centerstage. I think Travis gets it…”
“You don’t sound too sure about that.”
“I just feel like he thinks I’m stealing his band. But he’s not one for communicating much outside his circle of friends on a social level. And everyone else agrees to let me take the lead. I wouldn’t have done it if Adam hadn’t suggested it and Angus assured me. I’ve been pulling my own weight too, being proactive in the search. Got us that gig for the Halloween Fest in Podunk. That got us attention.”
“I wouldn’t stress it then. Every band has its share of drama. You guys are gonna do great.”
“Thanks…”
I tried to imagine what their band would look like on display in the Hall of Fame. Every rocker had their own distinct look to compliment their particular style. The Bunnyburrow band was young and still trying to find its voice. Adam helped them along in that regard. Despite the obvious resentment he seemed to instill in Judy, he pushed her along in a way I wasn’t able to as a former producer for some pretty high tier musicians in college. I looked forward to the chance to finally speak with him and hear what he had in mind to bring the band out of the minor leagues. How they could work on their image.
“Hey, Nick?”
“Yo?”
“Want to get a tattoo?”
That was one of those questions that I couldn’t help but laugh at, due to its sheer randomness. “Where did that come from?”
Judy bundled up into her hoodie to try and hide the redness of her ears.
“It was just...One of the present ideas I had for you. I don’t know. I was thinking about all the stuff we could do together while here and getting tattoos came to mind. I always wanted to get one but dad never let me. He barely even let me get my ears pierced.”
“He apparently trusted you enough to get them done seven times.”
“It was actually supposed to be all the way down my lobe. I didn’t tell him what a duodecuple helix piercing was. He stopped the process midway when he finally figured it out.”
“Hah. I bet that caused a few grey hairs.”
“I got grounded for a month,” she muttered. “He never let me step foot inside the only place that did piercings and tattoos in Bunnyburrow ever again. Made sure to have a talk with the owner as the mayor.”
“Ouch. Normally these things require an appointment though, Carrots. Not so much a walk in sort of deal.”
“Well...I kind of called a place with great reviews in the art block ahead of time before we came to visit and told them around 3-5 PM. You know, just in case you said yes.”
“That’s awfully nice of them with the vague time,” I rolled my eyes at the thought of some drunk college kids booking an appointment and all the fun a tattoo parlor had to deal with on a regular basis. A vague appointment time was probably tame in comparison. “What would you even get?”
“I dunno. I figured it’d come to me when we got there. What would you get?”
Of all the things I thought would happen today when I woke up, getting a tattoo was at the very bottom of that list.
Not that I was opposed to the idea. The tattoo process varied from mammal to mammal, depending on if they had fur. In our case, they would use a paint-like chemical that altered the melanin in our hair. Unlike store bought hair dye, it never went away and the process was truly permanent. It also meant those with fur were stuck with simpler designs or more tribal tattoos than someone like a pig or an elephant, who could use precise traditional ink. That narrowed our options.
But to get something? Blank canvases and foxes again…Still, the thought of something that would mark my fur forever didn’t bother me nearly as much as it should have.
“I’m sure I could think of something,” I admitted with a grin. “If we’re both going to do it, we should both play it by ear. It’s only fair that way.”
“You really want to?” Judy’s voice tried to hide its hopefulness.
“Why not? Could be fun. Just don’t tell mom. I think she’d literally kill me if she learned I’m doing this.”
“We’re really doing this then? You’re sure? I don’t want to feel like I’m pressuring you into it.”
“You don’t have to second guess, I think it’s a wonderful idea for a gift,” I said while glancing over to our loitering comrades near their respective exhibits. “Better go now before they tail us though. Don’t want to get caught.”
I had to admit there was some thrill in doing something I certainly shouldn’t have been doing. I always thought a tattoo would be something to give a lot of time and thought to. There was a certain giddiness in throwing caution to the wind and just winging it. After all, I spent most of my rebellious high school years moping. Why shouldn’t I be given a few mistakes to make, if that was what this was destined to be?
We waited for a moment to slip out of the building while Gideon and Humphrey had their back to us. Jack’s ear twitched and we locked eyes the moment I followed Judy out the door. Halfway down the street, I received the predictable text message of concern.
[???]
[Just slipping out for something real quick,] I texted back, paw in paw with Judy. [We’ll be back home for dinner. No need for you guys to stick around. Sorry to bail.]
Except I wasn’t sorry in the slightest as a smile etched into both our faces.
I knew it was poor form to answer the phone in the tattoo parlor, especially when the artist was hard at work painting my thigh with corrosive chemicals. But the name that popped up makes it something that can’t be ignored.
“I’m sorry,” I said to the muskrat with four plugs in her ears. “Is it okay to answer this, please? This is kinda an important call.”
She smiled as she slathered on the black paint, wearing protective latex so she didn’t stain herself. The stuff burned to the touch.
“Since you asked nicely, hun,” she replied. “And since you are the birthday boy. You’re good. Most of this is just touch up work anyway. Your girlfriend has it worse.”
I smirked at that thought. Judy was in the other room, having decided on a more complicated design than me. Though hers was just as meaningful. She’d no doubt be getting this particular call later that night.
“Hello?”
“ Happy birthday, Mr. Wilde.”
I was going to get wrinkles from smiling so much that day. “Thank you very much, Mrs. Hopps...It is still Mrs. Hopps, right?”
I heard her chuckle over the line. It did well to hide the pang of sadness to the question, which I regretted the moment it passed my lips. It had been so long since I had spoken to Judy’s mother. Though I should have expected a phonecall from her on my birthday.
“ Until the papers go through, though I might be keeping the last name for the sake of documentation. Expenses and all that. I hope you don’t mind a simple card this year. ”
“Not at all, it’s very kind of you. Thank you for remembering me.”
She laughed again. “ Very hard not to, seeing how much Judy has been looking forward to this trip. I’m sure you can imagine how much our family likes to gossip. Tell even one bunny a secret and it will spread like wildfire in a burrow by nightfall. And she’s been spending more time with the little ones while I hold my day job at the pharmacy. ”
“Things are going well for you guys at the farm then?”
“ Well enough, considering all that’s happened this year. I won’t pretend it’s been easy. But having Judy here to watch the kids has been helpful. Though I know she’s itching to go out into the world. And we’re all preparing for the wedding coming up. ”
“Right,” I realized Violet’s wedding was coming up in early winter. Jack and I had been invited. “Still need to pick out a suit to wear for that.”
“ Just having you here would be enough. More than. It’s been a rough year and it will be nice to have something happy to start off the next one. I’m hopeful. ”
“I’m glad,” I replied. “It will be nice to have the family all together.”
We both had a moment of awkward silence. I was the first one to point out the angry hare in the room.
“...And how are things with Stu? Will he be coming?”
I could hear Bonnie breathe through her nose.
“ I don’t know. I offered him, of course. And he’s working hard to allow it to happen in Bunnyburrow, which surprised all of us. Though there’s still that divide between some of our older children and the younger ones, who don’t understand what’s about to happen. ”
“They don’t approve?”
“ Some do, some don’t. I can’t very well change their minds when they’re old enough to have children of their own. But they all will be there to support our family, what with the protesting in town. I like to think we raised them to never judge matters of the heart. Though some of them don’t trust predators, I think Judy forgiving Gideon and being with you changed their minds a great deal. ”
Live by an example. That’s what my mom always taught me. Truest change comes from when action becomes the norm. You can argue with someone until you’re blue in the face, but you’d be lucky to even make them consider that they’re wrong. It’s the quiet and subtle actions that always said the most.
“ As for Stu, ” continued Bonnie. “ The last I spoke to him was in the presence of our lawyers. I can hardly get a read on what he’s thinking. He cares enough to allow Violet her marriage license though and that’s more than enough for me. ”
And more than I could expect when Judy told me that particular bit of news.
“Well, I was just talking about the vacation days I’m owed after this last case the precinct was working on. While everyone’s fighting over days off for the holidays, I’ll be cruising on a nice trip in January.”
“ We’ll be looking forward very much to having you. Maybe then I can finally have that tea with you. ”
The muskrat sniggered as she finished brushing up my leg. The finishing touches to a simple project that would last a lifetime. She wasn’t laughing out of spite though. Looking around the parlor, they had all sorts of colorful folks visiting. Company that was much more comfortable than the crowds we had seen all day. To her, I was just another fellow oddity in a city of mixed colors.
I smirked right back at her and said.
“I would like that, very much.”
After everything we had done that day, my legs were exhausted.
I was ready to pass out on the couch following the long walk from the tattoo parlor. Judy shared in my sentiments as she planted herself firmly in a chair and didn’t stand up once through dinner. Though she never leaned back either.
Mom had been hard at work all afternoon. As was the custom for my birthday, with Thanksgiving so close, we had the usual rounds of what constituted a big family dinner. Mashed potatoes to stuffing, the A to Z’s of Thanksgiving. Mom worried that she might bore Judy’s taste, making the same thing twice for her visits. But her doubts were quickly silenced when Judy helped herself to the roasted carrots almost immediately.
Though everyone waited patiently for our seventh guest, as she stumbled in a little past seven.
“I know,” Violet said as I answered the door. “I’m sorry. I’m late. We had an emergency in the ER and then I got lost on the way here.”
I chuckled at the sight of her still in scrubs. Poor rabbit must have run straight from the hospital to get to the pits of the city and join us for dinner.
“Don’t even worry about it,” I replied, taking her coat. “Glad you could make it on short notice. Hope you’re hungry.”
“Starving. Haven’t eaten since breakfast. No breaks.”
“Something something burning the candle at both ends. Sounds like you could use some rest though. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather box some stuff and take it to go? I really wouldn’t mind if you sat this one out.”
“Nope. Totally staying. Besides...”
She flashed her right paw to me. A golden ring shined along her middle finger, perfectly fitting.
“I owe you one for the bout of courage.”
Nothing else needed to be said outside of introductions. Violet knew Gideon, Humphrey, and Jack well enough to get away with offering them some simple salutations. Mom was overjoyed to have another rabbit at the table. She made sure to give Violet the seat next to Judy and me. The two sisters shared a smile as the dinner could finally begin.
It was the loudest meal the Wilde household ever saw, with the table ready to burst with capacity.
Mom had outdone herself with the food, as per usual. Within seconds of starting, everyone enjoyed mouthfuls of their favorite dishes as well as a healthy heaping of conversation. Blends of color with paws crossing paws over an extended table, the first time I had ever seen mom apply the leaves for more guests. It allowed me to hold paws with Judy under the table while still giving the appearance of someone paying attention.
After stuffing myself silly with potato salad and cranberry sauce, it came time for the cake.
By that time, Clawhauser, Fangmeyer and Wolfard had all finished their shifts. Fangmeyer had the coy opening of claiming to be investigating “noise disturbances.” They came bearing gifts with Fangmeyer and Wolfard pitching in to bring apple cider for the cake and Clawhauser offering doughnuts as a side. Thus we all gathered around the table as mom dimmed the lights.
All ten of us. More people than I ever had for a birthday party, even when I was a kid. It was hard not to laugh. The deep kind of laugh that you give when nothing is particularly funny, but you can find the humor in just about anything anyone says. Sort of like if I was drunk, but not quite tipsy. I was fully aware of myself and everyone else shared in my mood. Even Judy. It was nice to see her smile as much as everyone else.
Mom approached the table with the two leveled cake in paw. The candles illuminated her own smile, showing the buried etchings on her face.
“Now I know you’re all chomping at the bit for the dessert,” said mom. “But humor an old vixen for a moment as she embarrasses her son in front of his new friends.”
She faced me in the dark with deep blue eyes.
“Twenty seven years to the day, at 1:43 AM, you were born in the maternity ward of Zootopia General. And it was the happiest moment of my life. So much had led up to that moment that it was bliss to finally hold you in my arms. To meet you and have so much to look forward to together.”
Everyone ceased their talking to let mom speak clearly. Under the candlelight, it was difficult to see mom’s expression. For a moment, it felt like just me and her in the room. Even with Judy still holding my paw.
“I wanted to give you everything. So, I tried the best a highschool dropout could do. It tore my heart out when I came up short in that regard. I know we've never had the easiest life. We've had our share of rough spots and you've had to suffer for what you are. That wasn't fair. Even though I wished with all my heart that you could find your own way. But now…”
A few tears sparkled in the lighting.
“I'm so happy for you. To have everyone to share this with you. To have a job I can see you enjoy very much. To find someone who loves you just as much as you love her. There's so many things I'm grateful for this year. Too many things to count. And I have a good feeling about the next year too. I love you, sweetie. And I hope there are many more happy birthdays like this for you in the future.”
I couldn't say it was the best birthday I would ever have. That’s only because I don't think it's a fair contest to compare this to meeting my musical idol, Robbie Rodent. But if ever asked what constituted a good birthday, this was the one image I could think of.
Sitting, full of good food, before a wonderful homemade cake. Surrounded by good friends and family and future family. Heart full of a song that only came from a hard day’s work. Clawhauser bawling his eyes out from mom's speech. Fangmeyer and Wolfard secretly holding their own paws underneath their side of the table. Violet looking tired but keeping her smile going. Gideon pleased to be there. Humphrey pleased to be next to Jack. And Judy right at my side.
There are certain moments that forever define all future perspectives of events in your life. And some moments can establish a whole new era for yourself. It's the big things that make us think, but it's the small moments that let us change. Let us grow.
“Make a wish,” mom said as she wiped her eyes.
“What did you wish for?” Judy asked as we got ready for bed.
“Can't tell you or it won't come true.”
Most of the apartment had cleared out past nine. Humphrey was on her way back to Jack's place while the guys at the precinct shared a cab to their respective homes. Mom set up the blow up mattress for Gideon again, and everyone was settling in for the night. We all had an early morning start, after all. Judy and the others had a train to catch come sunrise.
“How's your back?” I asked while combing my fur.
“Stings,” she muttered.
“I noticed you weren't slouching all night. I think it came out pretty nice though.”
“Oh, don't get me wrong. I love how it came out. But mom is going to flip two shades of shit if she ever sees me wearing a bikini.”
I smirked at that thought as I watched Judy hop around the bedroom shirtless. My eyes followed the black ink etched into her back. Painted into her shoulders were two angel wings, tribal in design but very beautiful. The artist had done a fine job.
“How about you? How's your leg?”
Sitting in my boxers on the bed, I rolled up the left leg exposing my thigh.
Like Judy, my leg was painted in black ink that burned through my red fur. My chosen design was far simpler. A black “X” that looked like a scar, though more classical in appearance. The chemical sizzled all the way to the skin, feeling like a hundred needles prodding my flesh. But mine was easy enough to hide.
“Stings like you said. But nothing I can't handle.”
“You didn't have to get it, you know.”
“I wanted to. It's the first thing that came to mind. As long as you were okay with it. You are still okay with it, right?”
“It’s your body,” she shrugged as she brushed her ears. “I just don’t see what you find so fascinating about it.”
“It’s just a nice reminder for me. What I can do and what I can’t. To me, there’s something beautiful about something that isn’t perfect but tries it's hardest to just be the best of itself . It makes you appreciate it more.”
“Beautiful, huh?”
She stared at me with bedroom eyes from across the room. The rest of the apartment was silent with sleep as I eased myself onto the mattress. Tattoo or not, it had been a long day and it was nice to have a quiet moment alone.
“Jack and I were discussing getting our own place,” I said. “You know. Finally move out of my mom’s house. Getting a bigger apartment. Getting a little privacy.”
“Privacy would be nice.”
“Everything’s changing this year, it seems. Everyone’s moving forward with their own things to do. But it’s strange. I don’t find it scary at all. I’m actually kind of excited for all of it. Are you?”
“Very excited.”
I wasn’t nearly tired enough to not see what she was hinting at.
“Can’t be too loud,” I muttered with a chuckle. “Someone might hear. Thin walls and all that.”
She pretended not to hear me as she climbed into bed, curling up in my arms. I was careful not to touch her back as we cuddled up together and kissed. I could still taste the carrot cake on her breath. It was nice to hold her without eyes on us, approving and disapproving. It was nice to have a final moment to ourselves in what had been a long, rich day.
“I had fun today,” I said when we broke away for a moment. “You know that, right?”
“I know. I can see that now. Everyone was happy tonight and enjoying themselves.”
“Well, of course they were. You throw a mean birthday party, Judy Hopps.”
“I’ll have to try and top it next year,” she smiled and looked into my eyes. “I love you, Nick.”
“I know.”
Notes:
This feels like a fine place to leave things for now. Our characters surrounded by their friends and family, happy with the future looking bright. After a hard year, that seems like what we could all use...
So, this is the temporary end! For real this time! I'm already scurrying with the outline of the sequel and I can't wait to return to this particular story. I plan on releasing my next tale, Over My Dead Body, sometime in October, so look forward to that in the meanwhile!
To those who celebrate, I wish you a Merry Christmas and have a happy holidays to all the others. Thank you for reading and I hope this chapter is like a small gift in the spirit of the season.
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