Chapter Text
“What?” You would have laughed at the look on Bucky’s face if you hadn’t been so unbelievably embarrassed by the fact that you’d just had to tell him you were a virgin. Not that there was anything wrong with being a virgin, not even a little. What was embarrassing was having to tell the man interested in having a strictly sexual relationship with you that you were a virgin.
You blew out an irritated breath. You didn’t exactly want to repeat yourself, not with this anyway. “I’ve never had sex,” you repeated. “I’m a virgin.” You dropped your head into your hands, too shy or too embarrassed to make eye contact with Bucky any longer.
“You...you didn’t mention that before,” he said. “I thought -”
You didn’t raise your head to look at him. You were too afraid of what you might see on his face. Disappointment. Rejection. “You thought I was experienced,” you finished for him.
“Hey,” Bucky murmured softly. “Hey, Y/N, look at me.”
You reluctantly raised your head, eyes locking with Bucky’s. He smiled sweetly at you, putting you immediately at ease. He was so good at that.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he said, rising to his feet and crossing the room to kneel in front of you. He took your hands in his, his thumbs rubbing circles on the back of your hands. “No need to be embarrassed.”
You shrugged one shoulder and shook your head. Easy for him to say; he was the one with the experience, the one propositioning you, while you were the one having to sit back and say “oops, I’m a virgin, probably not what you’re looking for in a woman.” The thought made your stomach twist in a painful, nauseating knot.
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” you mumbled. “Maybe I’m not ready for this.”
Bucky put a finger under your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Say the word, doll, and I’m gone. I’ll walk away and leave you alone. We can be friends, you and me. Just friends. Nothing more.”
“That’s not what I want,” you whispered. “That’s not what I want at all.”
Bucky pushed open your legs, easing between them, his hands falling to your waist. He moved closer, so close you could feel his breath blowing against your face.
“Can I kiss you?” he murmured.
Your heart pounded so hard you thought it might beat out of your chest. You swallowed and nodded slowly, staring into his bright blue eyes.
He tugged gently on your chin, silently urging you to move toward him. You slid to the edge of the couch, meeting Bucky halfway. He brushed a kiss across your lips, his metal arm wrapping around your back, his warm vibranium fingertips drifting across the skin between the top of your jeans and the bottom of your blouse, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. His tongue traced your lips and when your mouth opened, he leaned into you, fully exploring your mouth, his tongue moving over your teeth and lips, his nose brushing against yours as the kiss deepened. You moved to slide your hand up his metal arm, intent on wrapping your arm around his neck, but he caught it, taking hold of your wrist and pulling your arm behind your back, holding it there as he kissed you.
“Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” he smirked when you broke apart.
“No, but that wasn’t sex,” you retorted. “That was just a kiss.”
Bucky chuckled and shook his head, then he rose to his feet, his arm still around your waist, lifting you off your feet. “Come to bed with me,” he said. It was a question, but at the same time, it wasn’t. “Let me show you how good it can be.”
A shiver raced through you, from head to toe, while your stomach clenched, fear of the unknown making you slightly nauseous. You swallowed past the lump rising in your throat and forced yourself not to lose it. You wanted this, wanted Bucky, even if it meant getting that in only one way; not as his girlfriend, but as the woman he had sex with every now and then.
“Okay,” you murmured. “I..I want to try.”
Bucky scooped you up, his arm under your legs, and carried you through his apartment to the bedroom. He kicked open the door, stepped inside, turned around, and set you on the floor just outside the bedroom. You leaned over the threshold, taking it all in. It was an almost non-descript room with white walls and pale blue blankets on the bed. The bed was enormous, plain with strong, oak wood, and four sturdy posts. On the wall above it was a large photograph of New York, an old one from the looks of it, probably taken before World War II, definitely not modern. The other furniture in the room, sparse as it was, just a chair and one large dresser, matched the bed.
You were glued to the floor, unable to move, scared you would mess up, do or say something so stupid that Bucky would shoo you out of his apartment with a disappointed laugh. You watched him as he walked backward into the room, his chestnut locks pulled back in a low ponytail, his blue eyes sparkling, watching you, waiting for you to make a decision.
“It’s up to you, doll,” he shrugged. “You can come in or you can turn around and walk out the door. You decide.”
You took a tentative step across the threshold, easing slowly into the room. Bucky waited until you were all the way inside before moving to stand in front of you. He slipped his hands under the edge of your blouse, his hands on your bare skin, tugging you closer. He dropped his head and brushed a kiss across your lips.
“Are you...we, uh, going to do all that stuff you talked about the other day?” you asked.
“No, not this time,” Bucky smiled. “We’ll start slow, ease into it. For now, we’ll just go with plain, old vanilla sex.”
You couldn’t help it, you giggled. “Vanilla sex?”
“Yep, good, but not as good as chocolate,” Bucky chuckled.
“I like vanilla,” you whispered.
“Yeah, well, I think you’re gonna like this, too. Come on.” His hand closed around yours, tugging gently, leading you to the edge of the bed. His lips slid along your jaw and down your neck, settling on your pulse point and sucking greedily even as he slipped his hands under the edge of your blouse and pulled it up, his lips leaving your skin just long enough to yank it over your head.
Your breathing sped up, your pulse raced, and heat blossomed across your skin. Your head fell back, giving Bucky better access. Every nerve ending was on fire, your body burning for his touch, breathy gasps escaping you as Bucky’s hands roamed your body. He pulled away, his eyes dancing over your face, drinking you in. He sat on the edge of the bed, standing you between his legs.
Bucky reached up and unbuttoned your jeans, then he hooked his fingers in the belt loops and slowly pulled them down, his eyes never leaving yours. A shiver raced through you and you reached for him again, but he stopped you, taking your hands and holding them at your sides.
“Don’t move,” he ordered.
You squirmed in his grip. “Bucky -”
“I said, don’t move,” he repeated more forcefully.
He leaned close and dragged his nose up your stomach, inhaling deeply. His tongue darted out, twirling around your belly button, bringing goosebumps to the surface of your skin. You wanted to squirm, to move, to do something, but Bucky’s grip was like a vise and you couldn’t do anything but stand in front of him as he explored you with his mouth and tongue.
You were trembling by the time Bucky pulled you onto the bed beside him, his arms around you, your legs tangled together.
You were stiff, awkwardly lying in Bucky’s arms, afraid you’d do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing. A million thoughts were jumbled together in your head and you couldn’t concentrate long enough to sort them out.
Bucky must have sensed how you were feeling because he cupped the back of your head and gently kissed you. “Relax,” he murmured. “I promise, we won’t do anything you don’t want to do. We’re going to start slow, just slow, easy sex, then later, we’ll work on the basics. Okay?” He kissed the tip of your nose.
“Okay,” you nodded.
His hands slid over your body, one of them settling on your breast, kneading and massaging it carefully, his thumb rubbing gently over the nipple. He wrapped his arms around you, expertly unhooked your bra, and slid the straps down your arms. He caught your lips in his, kissing you until your head spun, before moving to your neck, sucking greedily at your throat, and your shoulders until his mouth closed around your breast, his tongue flicking out to delicately tease the nipple. His hand traced slow, lazy circles down your stomach and over your hip, the metal surprisingly warm.
Bucky cupped the back of your head, pulling you to him so he could kiss you, slowly, gently, distracting you as he slipped his hand between your legs and into your underwear, his fingers dancing over you. You moaned, your hips rising, chasing his teasing fingertips, but he chuckled and shook his head, pushing them back onto the bed, holding you in place.
“Be still, doll,” he said. “I promise, it’ll be worth it.”
You squeezed your eyes closed and nodded, silently chastising yourself for disobeying Bucky yet again. You blew out a shaky breath and twisted your fingers in his hair, returning his kisses, reminding yourself that you were safe with Bucky; he wouldn’t hurt you.
You weren’t sure what you expected, but it certainly wasn’t the delicate caresses along the lips of your pussy, patient and slow. Bucky took his time, fondling you with one finger, slowly separating your lips, smoothly prodding at your entrance until his finger slipped inside, just to the knuckle, pumping it slowly in and out. You could barely concentrate on what he was doing with his fingers, when his mouth was devouring you, moving over every inch of your neck and chest, licking, nipping, and kissing you. You were overwhelmed with the sensations roaring through your body, taking you apart piece by piece.
Your back arched, your body flush against Bucky’s, silently begging him for more. You moaned as he eased another finger into you and his thumb brushed across your clit. He crooked his fingers and suddenly, your vision went white and unbelievable, pure, unadulterated pleasure burst through you.
Bucky continued kissing you as you came down from the most intoxicating thing you had ever experienced. He pushed off your underwear, adding them to the pile of clothes beside the bed, then he rose to his feet and quickly shucked off his own clothes. He yanked open the drawer on the bedside table, pulled out a condom, then he crawled back over you, nestling himself between your legs, his mouth slanted over yours, kissing you again. You could feel his hard length pressing against your leg, ratcheting your nerves up to nearly astronomical heights, a tremble of fear racing through you.
Fortunately, Bucky seemed to have infinite amounts of patience with you, continuing to kiss you as he opened you up, his touches soft and easy.
“You ready, doll?” he whispered.
“I don’t know,” you murmured. “I-I’m scared…”
“I swear I won’t hurt you,” he said. “If you want to stop, just say the word.” He took your hand in his flesh one, your fingers intertwined with his, and pulled it above your head. “Okay?”
“Okay,” you nodded, even though you thought your heart might pound out of your chest and you were shaking.
Bucky pulled your leg around his waist and lined himself up with your entrance, kissing you as he eased into you. He pushed past the final barrier so carefully you only felt a slight pinch and then he was moving, his hand on your thigh, holding you in place, his impressive length stretching you as he began slowly thrusting. He led you, showing you exactly how and when to move, incredibly patient and understanding with your lack of experience, despite your fear that he would balk.
You were moving as if you’d been together forever and then, to your surprise, you were coming again, a warmth spreading through your body, filling you. You couldn’t believe Bucky had pulled two orgasms from you in such a short time, especially when you’d never really had one before, though you didn’t have time to dwell on it, not when Bucky was gripping your hand so tight you thought it might break as he slammed into you, pounding you into the mattress, deeper and harder with every thrust until you were screaming out your pleasure yet again, your entire body alight with pure bliss.
Bucky let go with a deep groan, his face pressed against the side of your neck, a shudder running through him. He collapsed on top of you, kissing you until you couldn’t breathe. When you reached up to put your arms around him, he rolled off of you with a grunt, moving to the other side of the bed. He disposed of the condom, tossing it the small trashcan beside the bed.
“Bucky,” you whined.
“Mmm, no whining, doll,” he laughed quietly. “Cuddling is not exactly something I do.” He caressed your cheek with his thumb. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No,” you shook your head. “No, I’m fine. In fact, I’m better than fine.” Heat rushed to your cheeks. Embarrassed, you rolled away from him and buried your face in the pillow.
You felt the bed dip behind you, then Bucky was pressed against your back, his lips on your neck. “Don’t hide from me, Y/N,” he whispered. “What is it?”
“I never thought it would be like that,” you murmured. “A girl could get used to that.”
Bucky chuckled, the sound rich and deep, making you tingle with need. “I promise you that there is so much more you could learn. If you just let me teach you.” His lips roamed over the back of your neck and your shoulders, his hand resting on your stomach. He didn’t leave it there long, sliding up your stomach to your breast, his thumb brushing the nipple, moving it in slow circles until the nipple was hard and aching.
You held back a moan, your face pressed into the pillow, even as his hand slipped between your legs and he slowly rubbed your already sensitive clit, your hips bucking under his ministrations.
“We’re gonna have to work on keeping you still,” Bucky growled, easing first one finger, then a second into you, thrusting gently.
The kisses against your neck were hot and wet, his erection thick and throbbing between your bodies. You resisted the urge to press yourself against him, resisted the urge to grind your ass against his cock. He moved away for a brief second and you heard a condom wrapper being opened, then he lifted your leg, pushing into you from behind. You gasped as he entered you slowly, an inch at a time until he was buried deep inside you.
Bucky moved his hips in tight, hard thrusts, his fingers resting against your clit, rubbing slow, careful circles as he took you from behind. It didn’t take long before you were gasping his name and pushing yourself down on his cock, everything he was doing easily bringing you to climax. You bit down on the pillow, your screams of pleasure muffled. A few hard thrusts later and Bucky was coming, hit teeth sinking into your shoulder, biting gently as his body tensed against your back.
You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face as Bucky’s cock softened between your legs, his nose nuzzled against your neck. Unfortunately, he didn’t stay there long, rolling off the bed and to his feet. You closed your eyes, listening to the sounds of Bucky in the bathroom, cleaning himself up.
You were half asleep when Bucky returned, rolling you to your back and pressing a kiss to your forehead. He cleaned you up and helped you to your feet. He helped you get dressed and at first, you protested, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep as a bone-deep exhaustion settled over you. You yawned and grumbled, eventually giving in and letting him help you.
Once you were fully clothed, Bucky slid his arm around you, hugging you to his side, as he led you from his room, through the compound, and down a long hallway to the apartment that had temporarily become yours. He helped you get undressed and into bed, pulled the blanket up to your chin and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he murmured.
“You’re not staying?” you mumbled, your eyes already slipping closed. You struggled to keep them open.
“I don’t do sleepovers,” he laughed. He kissed you again and then he was gone, your door closing quietly behind him.
You were so utterly spent, you were deep asleep within minutes.