Chapter Text
Ann Walker woke early on the morning of her wedding. She rose, washed, and began to put on her wedding dress. She started with the underwear, white lace boned corset, silk cami knickers, her legs bare, with a light touch of fake tan. Then the petticoats, soft as a feather, with tens of layers of fluffy chiffon, hemmed with a broad band of white ribbon. Finally, the main event. The dress had a tight white silk bodice, with capped sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. The skirt full, silvery white lace on silk. Her late mother's blue garter that Elizabeth had worn before her, an heirloom to be passed onto Ann's future daughter when the time comes for her to be a bride. She stood in front of the mirror, moved her hair over one shoulder, and clipped in her tiara. Tiny flowers in diamante crystals, some on fine wires, allowing them to roam through her blonde curls. She smiles. She looks like a Disney princess. She twirled in front of the mirror. Smiling. Filled with life, and looking forward to the next chapter.
She is alone. Her sister and cousin are both asleep in adjacent rooms. This was supposed to have been her wedding day, but her groom had died almost three months ago.
She really had felt devastated about Andrew's death. He was a good man. The very best. And she had been very fond of him. Marrying him would have ended her families obsession with fortune hunters, after she inherited half of her father's estate on his death 10 years ago. The tribe, as she and Elizabeth called them, had been all over her ever since. But when she had been introduced to Mr Andrew Fraser at a dinner party held by elderly Mrs Rawson, Catherine's grandmother, they had got along straight away. He was kind, and he listened to her when she spoke. He had his own money, and appeared to like her just for herself. The nicest man she had ever known. It was the best she could have hoped for, and now he was gone. And the future they had talked about on the day that they had become engaged, when they'd stayed up all night talking about where they would live, if they would travel, how many children they would have and when, and what they would be like, all of it had gone with him. She missed him.
The dress looked perfect on her, but it wasn't going to be her wedding dress. Not anymore. She spun around before the mirror one last time, the light lace layers spinning around with her. The clock in the hall chimed 8.30. She really ought to take the dress off. She didn't want Elizabeth or Catherine walking in and catching her. She didn't need their tears, their sympathy. She didn't want the family hearing about this, and imagining that she was about to turn into some sort of Miss Havisham figure. Once the dress was packed back into it's tissue, and the box lid closed, that would be the last time she would think about it. And, as long as Elizabeth or Catherine don't go on about it, today could be the very last time she would think about the wedding at all.
Ann could hear someone in the hall, and then hear the bathroom door lock. The morning had started, and she needed to be strong. She just had to get through it unscathed, with as little pity as possible.
Downstairs, she was surprised to find Elizabeth already dressed, drinking coffee in the kitchen. When Ann walked in, she looked up, put her cup down and, her eyes never leaving Ann's, crumpled her face into a tearless cry. Ann walked up to her, and hugged her in silence. She pulled her back by the shoulders, to show Elizabeth her face.
"Don't cry. Please, Elizabeth don't cry. I'm not. I've done my crying"
"Oh Ann! You are so brave, you know" sobbed Elizabeth, the tears flowing for real now.
Catherine walked in, hair wet from her shower, and stood watching the sisters as they clung to one another. Her eyes well up too. Today was going to be a hard day for Ann, but they would get her through it. With Catherine and Elizabeth behind her, she would be fine. Eventually. Catherine was sure.
Ann turned to face her, and Catherine was surprised that it was Ann consoling Elizabeth, and not the other way around. Ann smiled at Catherine.
"Let's not be sad today. Let's go out! Have some lunch, grab a couple of cocktails. We can drink to Andrew's life, and to my future. I just don't want to think about anything sad today"
The women sit together, very quietly. Elizabeth pouring coffee for everyone, as Ann scans through her phone for ideas of where to go. She rarely goes out to bars or restaurants, she doesn't really drink, but she wants to choose somewhere nice. Somewhere you can have a quiet lunch and a decent cocktail or two, made with care. Catherine cranes her neck over Ann's shoulder to look, as she scrolls through the pages on the restaurant guide website. She shouts out when she spots 'Nest'. She had been there a few months ago with her sister and her sister's friends. It was very nice. Lovely furnishings, tiny booths, like sitting in a cocoon. Or a nest, Elizabeth points out. They decide to get ready slowly, and get really dressed up, as though they were going to stay out all night. Ann fancied the idea of being one of those girls who starts her night in the afternoon. Ann is excited. Today isn't going to be awful after all. She just needs to keep the conversation light, and keep her relatives away from talk of the wedding.
They arrive at nest just before 1pm, dressed to kill, each in skyscraper heels, glossy hair, false eyelashes and skin tight dresses. Ann is wearing a pale gold sequined mini dress, her blonde curly hair down, in full ringlets, her eyes adorned with full lashes and glitter. They are shown straight to a booth, and cross the room with the waitress. In doing so, they pass by a table with two women, older than their group, chatting. Elizabeth recognises her first, then Ann. Eliza Priestley, a friend of their mother, sitting talking quite animatedly with a dark haired woman in a sharp black suit. Ann began to walk even faster when she saw her. Eliza had been invited to the wedding, and she really could do without her pity right now. She hoped she could pass by without being seen. She was wrong.
Anne Lister had been sitting with Eliza for almost an hour, and all Eliza had talked about was Ann Walker's wedding and the dead fiance. Her depression almost certain to come back again. She was sure to be sat in the house all day today, windows shuttered to keep the light out like Miss Havisham, no doubt. Anne had wondered how she was going to get the conversation moved onto to something less depressing, but after a couple of failed redirections, she knew she was in this for the long haul. She did remember Ann Walker. She was little more than a school kid when her parents both died, and had been looked after by a selection of relations before she left for university. Anne had seen her once since then, a skinny, flat chested little thing with frizzy hair and a brace. She had once chased Anne down the road, breathless by the time she had caught up with her, asking if she would meet her for a drink in town. The audacity of the girl, Anne had thought. She must have only been about 18 or 19 at the time. Her childlike crush was showing, and Anne had had to let her down gently. Told her she didn't need the agro of Ann's family thinking she was a cradle snatcher, laughed it all off a little as she walked the girl back to her gate. It was easy done, as the kid wasn't particularly appealing anyway.
What was appealing were the group of young women who had arrived to drink prosecco until closing, dressed for a night out in the afternoon. The little blonde in the tight sequined dress was especially interesting, as she rushed past their table, clearly eager to start her days drinking. Anne Lister had never been overly interested in the sort of women who drink all day, dressed for the night. But for a dalliance, they were perfect. Her eyes followed the blonde to her seat, and continued to watch her as she sat down, seeing how her blonde curls cascaded down her narrow back, pale skin illuminated by the glow reflected from the sequins. Eliza continued her tale of woe, Anne hmm ing and ahh ing in the right places, as she sat back, drank her whiskey and watched the girl throw her hair over one shoulder, exposing her neck, a tendril of curl tangled up in her earring. Anne can't take her eyes away from her, from that curl, wondering how she might get away from this excruciating conversation, and over to the other side of the room to where the day time drinking temptress was busy downing her first bottle.
Ann realised that she had drunk her first two glasses far too quickly. So, knowing that she wasn't up to that pace, she sat back on her third. She genuinely felt happy. Apprehensive, but happy. She had no idea who her tribe of relations would try to pair her up with next, but she knew that it wouldn't be for a good long while, and she was already feeling grateful for the space. He also wouldn't be someone as understanding as Andrew Fraser had been. She still couldn't quite believe that she wouldn't see him again. He hadn't known he had a hereditary heart condition until the heart attack. He was gone within minutes of arriving at the hospital. His young life snuffed out. His bride now left all alone. Theirs hadn't been a great love affair, but they had been comfortable together. He lived in Leeds, and they spoke on the phone a couple of times a week, and Andrew sent her texts in the week if he saw or heard something funny that he wanted to share with her. He knew her sense of humour well, like noone else. Her family never asked why they hadn't made the leap of living together, and she always told her aunts that they spoke every evening. She knew it wasn't the norm to spend so little time in one anothers company before declaring a lifetime of love for someone, but things had suited the two of them, and that was enough. She was suddenly overcome with a fear that she would never find a man who suited her as well again. There was almost a tear, but she managed to sweep it back under her enormous lashes. She was determined not to look behind her, as she was glad that Eliza Priestley hadn't spotted her, and she didn't want her to catch her eye by accident. After they had been in the bar for a while, and had ordered a pizza to share with salad, Ann began to relax. Elizabeth and Catherine were into the party spirit now, both amazed but happy that Ann was in such good spirits too. They ordered another bottle, tucked into their booth, whilst Ann perched on the stool beside them.
Suddenly, Eliza was tapping Anne on the arm.
"Anne? You are miles away! I was just asking if you wanted another coffee before we leave?"
"Oh? So sorry! Yes, miles away! No, no, I think I will be fine. Yes, I need to be getting off back up to the hall. Catch up with my aunt before dinner"
"Oh, well it has been a tonic to see you, Anne! You are kind to lend an ear today. I just knew I wouldn't be able to rest at home. Such a sad day when it ought to have been so happy" Eliza started to well up again. "But, enough of that. Thank you for listening" She reached over to squeeze Anne's hand "You are a good friend".
Anne smiled at Eliza, nodded at a passing waiter, and paid for them both with her card. As they stood to leave, she looked over once again at the troop of club bunnies getting stuck into a round of cocktails and another bottle of fizz. The blonde had stood up, swaying slightly on her gold heels, and was leant over her table talking to her friends, exposing more of her silky thighs, the skirt of her dress clinging just beneath her small but perfectly formed bottom. Anne wondered if the girl was wearing tights, or if she had a light tan. Her legs looked both smooth and delicious. She wondered if she was wearing knickers. Eliza started to move towards the door, still talking about what a mess Ann Walker will be in today. Anne turned away from the object of her lust, to follow Eliza from the bar. She had had an idea.
When they got to the corner, Eliza turned to give her a hug goodbye.
"Well, this is me! I'm going to walk home from here, I think. Blow the cobwebs away! Thank you, again, for listening. I'm going to go up to Lydgate in the next few days, to see how Ann is coping. She has her sister there now, but she will need more company when she goes back to Edinburgh. Perhaps you could join me? Ann always adored you, you know, when she was a child"
Anne was fully aware of how Ann had adored her. She still had no intention of visiting the woman now or any other day. She smiled at Eliza.
"Well, I will have to see I am afraid. I have quite a lot to do around the hall, and my aunt would like to see me as much as possible whilst I am home"
"Of course! Think on it, but thank you for today anyway!"
Eliza hugged her again, Anne pulling back first. Eliza smiled, before turning and heading off.
Anne stood back, against the wall of the bar. She lit a cigarette, and wondered if the best idea wasn't actually doing what she had told Mrs Priestley she was planning. To go home, and sort out the garden with her aunt. She had only just returned from working in Paris for the last five years, and she knew it wouldn't be long before she was off again. Her aunt deserved her help and attention. But the girl in the sequined dress had her blood raging. Those thighs. That arse. Christ, she was only human. She flicked the cigarette butt into the road, and headed back through the door, and into the bar she had just left.