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“Okay, guys, good discussion but we gotta get home, it’s after 7.” Namjoon dog ears the copy of The Hate U Give, before slipping it into his leather bag.
“What are we gonna read next, Mr. Kim?” Namjoon’s back is turned so he’s not sure which one of his kids asked the question, but he shrugs his shoulders.
“I figured we could vote at the next meeting, what do we think about some poetry?” There are a few voices of agreement and Namjoon starts thinking of a list of authors to propose in two weeks. He helps all of them move the chairs back into their formation, out of their circle, and there’s a chorus of “Bye Mr. Kim!” and “See you tomorrow!” and Namjoon smiles and waves as they all leave.
He’s idly pulling out his phone to text his husband that he’ll be home soon when he notices one student hanging back, putting his own stuff away slowly and determinedly not looking at Namjoon. Stalling, obviously.
“Hey Jungkook, everything alright?” Jungkook startles visibly and Namjoon furrows his eyebrows. Jungkook is nervous in general, shy, but Namjoon had noticed him opening up more over the last few weeks. He still didn’t volunteer a lot in class, but after school, in their Literature club meetings he’d started sharing a little more, giving his opinion, even if his voice was still quiet and shaky when he did so.
“Um, yeah,” he says, smoothing his too long bangs down anxiously, “just waiting on my friend to come pick me up. He said he’d be here in 5 minutes, is it okay if I wait?”
“Yeah, no problem!” Namjoon says, “Let me just text my partner that it’ll be a few more minutes.”
He’s concentrated on texting when he hears, almost too quiet, “Partner?”
Namjoon freezes for just a second, caught out and annoyed at himself for letting it slip. It’s not something he hides, but it’s something he tends to hold a little closer to himself, especially with students.
“Mhm,” he responds, looking back up at Jungkook. Jungkook looks like he has something else to say, like the words are sitting right behind his lips, waiting to spill as soon as he dares open his mouth. Namjoon notices that he seems to be shaking a little.
“Jungkook? Are you—?”
“Can I tell you something Mr. Kim?” The words are a little wavery, but Jungkook’s looking at him with this determined face, big doe eyes never leaving Namjoon’s and he keeps taking these deep breaths, like he’s boosting himself up.
“Of course, Jungkook, what’s up?” Namjoon puts his phone down and perches on one of the desk and turns all his attention on Jungkook.
Jungkook doesn’t say anything, just clenches his fists to stop their minute shaking, and breathes toward the floor.
Namjoon gives Jungkook a second before he speaks again. His voice is gentle, “Whatever it is, Jungkook, it’s going to be okay.” Namjoon watches him break a little bit.
“I…” Jungkook’s fists flex, but he looks back up at Namjoon, “I think I might… be gay.” His voice trails off into a whisper, and Namjoon’s not sure he would’ve heard him if they weren’t still in the echo-y classroom.
Namjoon isn’t super surprised, not because he had an idea about Jungkook’s sexuality, but because he knew that whatever Jungkook was working himself up to confessing had to be a big deal to him.
He looks into Jungkook’s apprehensive eyes, and the fear and nervousness he sees are familiar. He remembers the absolute unease he felt when he first said those words aloud himself, even though he knew his best friend wouldn’t judge him. And here Jungkook is, telling his English teacher of all people, and Namjoon can only imagine how scared he must be.
Namjoon considers his words carefully. “Thank you for telling me, Jungkook. Always know that I’ll do my best to keep my classroom a safe space and you can be yourself here.”
Whatever Jungkook was doing to hold himself together washes away because suddenly his eyes are shining and a tiny sob shakes from his lips where he was trying to bite it back. He huffs like he wants to say something, but another sob just escapes. He wipes at his eyes furiously.
Namjoon’s heart breaks just a little, because he’s been there. He can’t stand to have one of his students crying in front of him and not offer to do anything. “Jungkook, do you want a hug?”
Jungkook nods and before he knows it, Namjoon’s got an armful of bawling, trembling teenager. Namjoon rubs his back gently and lets Jungkook cry for a bit.
“Are these good tears or bad tears, Jungkook? Are you okay? Everything alright at home?”
There’s rumbling against his chest, then Jungkook steps back, trying hard to compose himself. He rubs at his face. “I’m okay,” he sniffs, “I just… I’ve never told anyone before.”
Namjoon smiles softly, “I’m so glad you felt like you could tell me.”
“I saw another guy kiss you on the cheek at the mall last weekend, so I just figured….” Jungkook looks down at the ground, embarrassed. “I wasn’t stalking you or nothing! I swear!”
“It’s okay,” Namjoon chuckles and pushes his glasses up his nose, hoping they might hide his blush a little. He can hear Hoseok’s loud laughter when he hears they were outed to one of his students while eating in the mall food court. “It’s not a secret, but it’s something personal that I don’t tend to tell people.”
That seems to jog something loose in Jungkook’s mind, because his eyebrows shoot up and his eyes widen, “You won’t tell my parents, right?”
Namjoon smiles and shakes his head, “Your secret is safe with me as long as you want to keep it a secret.”
“Thank you Mr. Kim,” Jungkook says.
“Not a problem, Jungkook,” Namjoon starts, but then Jungkook’s phone vibrates and Jungkook hitches his backpack onto his shoulders.
“My friend’s waiting outside, so. I’ll see you in class tomorrow?”
“9 AM sharp, bright and early.” Namjoon smiles at Jungkook and Jungkook returns it, face scrunching up like a little bunny, waving as he dashes out the door.
Namjoon takes his phone out to text Hoseok, “On my way. Student saw you kiss me last week at the mall, he came out to me 2nite”
It takes only a second for the responding text message, “omg tell me everything!!!! 😭"