Chapter Text
You coughed up the chlorine that filled your lungs onto the freshly mowed lawn beneath your body. Your eyes opened, your vision cleared, the pool just a couple feet away.
“It’s alright, you’re alright,” a voice behind you soothed. A hand clapped your back between your shoulder blades, helping you clear the remaining liquid in your lungs. When the coughing subsided you tried to sit up, the hands going to your shoulders as they guided you.
“Can you breathe okay?”
You nodded, unable to talk, and slowly turned around to find the owner of the voice.
“Aaah, seriously,” the voice exhaled. “I thought you knew how to swim, ____.”
He collapsed on his back from worry or exhaustion or both, his hands covering his face. He was shirtless and completely drenched, his jeans sticking to his strong thighs. His chest and abs were well defined and muscular, his skin pale.
“K-k-kookie?” You shivered. “Is that you?”
He brought his hands down, and your eyes locked, his brown eyes so clear and gentle. You covered your body instinctively. Even if you were wearing a modest swimsuit, it’s been years since you’ve seen your childhood next door neighbor. How did the kid that lived next door...Grow up to look like that?
“No one calls me that anymore,” he informed you, averting his eyes. “I thought I saw a towel somewhere.”
He sprung up when he noticed your shaking and discomfort and walked over to the patio where you had left one draped over a chair. Crouching beside you, he wrapped it around your shaking figure and rubbed your shoulders to get warm.
“What happened?” He asked.
“I-I-I got a cramp in my leg and I just started to sink…I panicked and couldn’t stay afloat.” You kept your eyes on the grass beneath your feet.
It’s been years since you’ve seen your neighbor’s only son. He was at least six or seven years younger than you. All you remember was the bright doe-eyed boy hugging you a bit too tightly before you had left for college. To have him save your life after all these years was a bit humbling as well as embarrassing.
“Thank you for saving me. How’d you know I was drowning?”
“I heard some erratic splashing when I was in the backyard,” he gestured to the backyard wall your homes shared. You couldn’t help but notice a camera shutter tattoo on his left forearm. “I thought it was weird since your parents aren’t home. When did you get here?”
“Last night,” you replied. You moved to get up, and he helped you.
“Ahh,” his teeth chattered. “You’re house sitting while they’re away, right?”
“Oh my God, you must be freezing too,” you said, avoiding the question. The sun had moved, putting this part of the lawn you were in in shadow. “Let me get you a towel too.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
He spotted the slip-ons and shirt he had discarded before jumping into the pool and got them while you went inside the house to grab a towel. When you brought it out to him, he dried off his upper half and his hair then wrapped it around his middle while he put his shirt back on.
“Do you want some coffee?”
“You were just drowning…And you want some coffee?” He asked, confused.
“Uh…yeah?” You didn’t see what the big deal was.
He furrowed his brow. “You sit,” he pulled out a patio chair. “I’ll make the coffee.”
You made a face as you sat. “Do you know where everything is?”
“Yes, be right back. Wait, uh…”
“What?”
“Can you turn around,” he said, nervously.
“Uh, okay.” You turned your back towards him and faced the lawn and pool. You could hear the sound of pants unzipping, a belt buckling clanging on the patio tile and then some fumbling.
“My jeans are drenched, I don’t want to track water inside,” he said, walking past you. The towel was still wrapped around his middle, and he laid his jeans on a lounge chair beside the pool.
“Oh, thanks.”
“No worries, be right back with some coffee.”
He headed towards the sliding doors and into the house. You watched him move about the kitchen, and he really did know where everything is, from the coffee to the mugs to the tray where he set everything all up to bring outside. Your mom had mentioned that Jungkook would come over to hang out with your dad and help with home improvement projects and just assumed that he was familiar with your house but not to this extent. He set the tray between you and sat down. You prepped your coffee just as you like and he did the same, pouring a copious amount of sugar and milk into his.
You were able to examine him more fully now. He looked pretty much just as you remembered. The dimples and bunny teeth still there, his eyes still wide. The bowl haircut was gone and replaced with longish locks that parted down the middle. His ears were pierced with hoops. He was muscular all over, not body builder status but more like training to be an Avenger.
“Thank you so much for saving me. Please don’t tell anyone about this,” you said after a couple warm sips of coffee. “This never happened, okay? I’m really embarrassed.”
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m just glad I heard you. You should really stretch out and drink a lot of water so you don’t cramp up. Your potassium levels must be low too. Eat some bananas.”
You nodded. Getting schooled by your hot, younger neighbor was just as embarrassing as being saved by him.
“Uh, your parents let me swim here sometimes too,” he added.
“Yeah, they told me,” you said. “Mom always brags about how helpful you are around the house, and Dad told me you helped him build the outdoor shower.”
He smiled shyly, rubbing the back of his head.
“You’re welcome to come over and swim anytime you want, I’ll steer clear. You can just text me. I’ll give you my number.”
“Oh, it’s okay. I have it,” he replied.
“You do?” You said, shocked.
“Yeah, uh, your mom gave it to me before they left. For emergencies.”
“Oh. Good.” Mom had failed to mention that before they left the country. “And, um, I’m really grateful for you taking care of them since I’ve been away. You’re a good kid. You've always been.”
His smile diminished a bit. A good kid.
“I take that back…You’re not a kid anymore. I mean,” you motioned at his broad shoulders vaguely, “You’re all grown up, look at you!”
He smiled widely, proud to be regarded as a man in your eyes. He mirrored your action, “You’re all grown up too! I mean...Wow.”
You mustered a small smile, wrapping the towel more tightly around you.
He scrunched up his nose and tilted his head “I’m sorry...that was...Sorry if that was weird...”
“It’s fine. You’re still awkward as ever, I do remember that. That hasn’t changed.” You joked. He smirked and looked down at his empty mug.
“I’ll head out now if you’re feeling better,” he said. “I’ll bring this towel back to you later.”
“Okay, thanks.”
He grabbed his jeans, throwing them over his shoulder, and walked toward the shared wall.
“You can leave through the house or back gate?” You asked, confused.
“It’s okay, I’ll go the way I came.” He placed both hands on top of the wall and lifted himself up, then stood on the wall. Not an easy feat while wearing a towel. Then he leapt down and disappeared.
You smiled to yourself, shaking your head. “Kookie’s all grown up now.”
After his shower, Jungkook stood at the kitchen counter mindlessly chomping on rice puffs waiting for the laundry to be done. He stared off into space, replaying what had happened early in his head.
He had gone outside to test out the new lens for his DSLR. While he was playing around with the settings on his camera, he heard loud, frenetic splashing next door and then it suddenly stopped. He set the camera down, and headed towards the neighboring backyard wall. He jumped to get a look over the wall and didn’t see anyone in their backyard. His curiosity caused him to jump again to get another look. That’s when he saw something beneath the choppy waves of the water in the deep end of the pool, unmoving.
“Oh my God.”
He placed his hands on the top of the wall and pulled himself up and over, landing catlike on the lawn and ran to the pool’s edge.
“Oh, shit. No, no, no--”
He took off his shirt and dove in. When he got a hold of you, he pushed off the bottom floor of the pool and swam up. He carried you out of the pool, laying you down on the lawn and tilted your head back. He administered five rescue breaths, pinching your nose just like he was taught during high school gym class.
“Please, please, wake up,” he sputtered when the breaths didn’t work. He performed CPR next, drops of water from his hair falling onto your chest as he pushed down on it. “____? Come on, come on. You didn’t even give me a chance to confess my dumb childhood crush on you.”
Just as he was about to try mouth-to-mouth again, you coughed, turned to your side and vomited pool water. He clapped your back, relieved.
He sighed and shook his head as his hand dove into the rice puffs again. His mom came in from work holding the day’s mail.
“You remember ____, don’t you? I just saw her outside.”
Jungkook choked. “Eh?”
“I invited her over for dinner since she’s all alone in that big house.”
“You what?” A rice puff flew out of his mouth.
“Be careful, you might choke. Anyway, she’s such a sweet girl, I can’t believe how grown up she is now.” She walked away with the mail as he chewed on the remaining puffs in his mouth.
***
It was hard to say no to Mrs. Jeon. You just so happened to get the mail when she was outside, and she just sprung dinner on you. Anyway, you had at least two months to eat dinner and get drunk alone in your childhood home, maybe eating with people for one night might be a good thing. Especially after what had happened. You shook your thoughts away, trying not to think about it. Instead, you looked through your suitcase to find something suitable to wear for dinner instead of the sweats and hoodie Mrs. Jeon saw you in.
***
The doorbell rang. Jungkook looked at himself in the mirror to fix his hair one last time. He wore a loose white shirt and slim black jeans. He opened his bedroom door slightly to hear you and his mom talking downstairs.
“Thank you, Mrs. Jeon for inviting me over, it’s so kind of you. I brought some wine. I hope you like red.”
“You didn't have to bring anything! We’ve got plenty, I hope you’re hungry. You still love Korean food?”
“Yes! Of course, I really missed your home cooking, honestly.”
“Well, there’s japchae, and Jungwoo’s out barbecuing some samgyeopsal. In fact...Jungkook! Go help your dad barbecue!” His mom called out.
As he walked down the stairs he stared, mouth open as he took you in. You wore a sleeveless dress and waved shyly up at him. He stifled a laugh at the yellow Ryan house slippers on your feet.
“Jungkook!” his mom snapped. “Tuck your shirt in, we have a guest.” Jungkook woke out of his daze.
You looked away, remembering how his mom always seemed to embarrass him even when he was younger. Jungkook silently tucked in his shirt as he descended the stairs. When you looked up as he reached you both, the change did suit him as it accentuated his slim waist and showed off his strong thighs. Not that you didn’t get a good enough look earlier that day. You tried your best not to smile so gratefully at his mom’s style sense.
“Gosh, JK must’ve been thirteen when you left for college?” She said to you.
“Twelve. We’re six years apart,” Jungkook corrected. He held out his hand to you. “Nice to see you, _____.”
You took it and shook it firmly. “You too, Jungkook.”
His mom laughed, “What's with the handshaking, she used to babysit you! Give her a hug!”
Jungkook’s eyes went wide eyed, and you stifled a laugh.
“That's okay, Mrs. Jeon, it's been a long time, I don't want to make him uncomfortable.” You offered.
“Why would that make him uncomfortable?!”
You looked to Jungkook who had his eyes on the ground but reluctantly held his arms out. You approached him cautiously and wrapped your arms around his broad back leaving a couple inches between your bodies as you patted each other's backs.
“Now that,” Mr. Jeon said, walking up behind his wife. “Is what I call uncomfortable,” he laughed.
***
Mrs. Jeon served you a heaping plate of rice, japchae, and pork belly, and Mr. Jeon poured you a glass of the wine you brought. Jungkook sat opposite you but his eyes never left his plate. You smiled looking at the food that Jungkook’s parents kindly served you. It had been a while since you had a home cooked meal that you hadn’t cooked yourself.
“Thank you again.”
Mr. Jeon said, “You’re welcome, we’re happy to have you.”
“So”, Mrs. Jeon started as she served herself. “Last I heard you were engaged. Have you booked a photographer yet? If not, you have to let Jungwoo and JK do your engagement and wedding photos. They’re quite busy all year round, but if you let us know ahead of time we could book it!”
“I’ll give you a great rate!” Mr. Jeon added.
Jungkook finally looked up, a piece of pork sticking out of his mouth. Engaged?
You swallowed your japchae. “Actually um, my Mom probably didn’t mention it since it’s still kind of...fresh...But I broke off the engagement.”
Both Mr and Mrs. Jeon deflated and swallowed their mouthful of food. You took a sip of wine to steel your nerves. You hated that this was your life now, explaining your failed relationship to everyone who knew you were engaged.
Mrs. Jeon reached over and put a hand on yours. “I’m so sorry. Are you guys taking a break or...?”
“Not exactly,” you cleared your throat. “It's over. He was cheating on me.”
“That fucking asshole!” Jungkook let slip as he dropped his chopsticks on his plate.
“Jungkook!” His mom gasped. Mr. Jeon chuckled.
You laughed trying to make light of the situation, “It’s okay, that’s the first thing I said when I found out.” You continued, “And, um, that’s actually why I’m back home, um, indefinitely. I moved out, just couldn't live in that city anymore, and luckily I can take my work anywhere.”
“You’re still doing wedding calligraphy? Invites and all that?” Mr. Jeon asked, then realized what he had done. Mrs. Jeon put her hand on her forehead, wincing. You ignored the slip-up.
“Yes, I mean, like you guys, I’m busy all year round which is good. And it’s not just weddings, I do all kinds of life events.” You faked a smile and took another sip of wine. Your eyes looked across the table at Jungkook who hadn’t taken a bite since he dropped his chopsticks. You desperately wanted to change the subject.
“Um, Jungkook…”
He immediately picked up his chopsticks and was rearranging the pieces of meat on his plate.
“Yeah?”
“I just wanted to thank you, all of you really, for helping my parents out while I’ve been away. It really means a lot to me.”
Mrs. Jeon chimed in, “Oh, JK loves helping your dad out when he’s not working or with his friends.”
Mr. Jeon added, “Yeah JK is learning a lot from your dad. I wish I was born as handy, but I was cursed with a photographer’s eyes.” He mimed taking a photo of his wife.
“And we’re all thankful for that.” Mrs. Jeon smiled, pretending to pose like a model. You smiled to hide the tinge of sadness pinging in your heart. After what had happened, it seemed like the small, comfortable acts between happy couples were magnified and more potent. You knew that they didn’t mean to do these things to deliberately hurt you and you told yourself to be patient and kind to yourself. That it’ll take some time for that hurt to go away.
After you helped Jungkook clear the table, Mrs. Jeon cut a fat slice of cheesecake and Mr. Jeon poured tea for everyone. Jungkook dug into the cake, his favorite.
“What was your nickname for Jungkook back then?” Mrs. Jeon asked. You swallowed and looked at Jungkook, he kept his eyes on his plate.
“Um, Kookie?”
Both of his parents burst into laughter.
“That's it, why couldn't I remember it?!”
“Because it's a stupid nickname,” Jungkook said.
Mrs. Jeon ignored him. “How did you come up with it again?”
“I-I don't really want to retell it if he’s going to be upset at me.” You said nervously.
“Oh, he won't! Go on.” Mr. Jeon urged.
You sighed. “Um, well it was a Christmas party at our house. I baked a couple dozen cookies, and I think he ate like all but a couple of them.” You tried to shorten the story for his benefit.
They broke into laughter. Jungkook sighed and helped himself to another slice of cake.
“That’s right!” Mr. Jeon laughed. “He threw up on your Christmas tree!”
Jungkook sighed louder, and you tried not to laugh. “May I be excused?” Jungkook said, annoyed.
“Good thing he has such a high metabolism now, he still eats and drinks whatever he wants,” Mrs. Jeon said, ignoring his question. Jungkook crammed more cake into his mouth. “You know, he’s never had a girlfriend?”
“MOM!” He said with his mouth full.
“Oh..that's okay. He’s still young, sometimes that stuff takes time.” You said as you looked at his cheeks full of cake.
“He's very handsome and sweet, but he can be so shy.” Mrs. Jeon pinched his cheeks. Jungkook closed his eyes in frustration.
“Do you know any good girls for him?” Mr. Jeon asked candidly. “I really want to turn his room into another office, the sooner the better.”
“DAD!”
“Umm.” You took a good long look at Jungkook who at this point had swallowed his mouthful of cake and was fiddling with his fork quietly awaiting your judgment. “I don’t think I know anyone good enough for Jungkook.”
Mr. and Mrs. Jeon smiled and continued eating while Jungkook picked up the wine bottle.
“If it’s cool with everyone, I’m drinking the rest of this,” he said deadpan, pouring the remaining wine into his glass.
***
You slipped off the house slippers and into your flats at the door. Mrs. Jeon held out a bag of leftovers. “For your lunch tomorrow. We’ll do this again soon.”
“Thank you so much, I had a really great time.”
“Don’t be a stranger,” Mr. Jeon added. “We’re neighbors again, okay?”
You smiled and nodded. Jungkook hung back, his hands in his pockets, still mortified over dessert.
“JK,” his mom called out to him. “Walk her home.”
“Oh,” you said, “That’s not necessary, it’s just next door.”
“Oh, stop. Jungkook what are you waiting for?” His mom hissed. He moodily walked toward you and started putting on his sneakers.
You both walked silently on the sidewalk. In the moonlight, he looked pouty, like his cheeks were still filled with cake. You stopped walking and turned to him.
“Um, Jungkook, are you---?”
“I’m so sorry about dinner, and you having to explain why you’re back. I’m just..so sorry...” The words spilled out of him.
You shrugged it off. “You don’t have to apologize…Dinner was great. I had a good time, really…” You tried to change the subject. “Your parents haven’t changed…”
A big sister instinct you never knew you had kicked in, you wanted to say something encouraging. “They just want you to be happy. And for some parents, that means seeing their sons and daughters in love with someone. I know that’s what my parents wanted. They want that for you too. But it's okay to be single too---”
“Stop,” he shook his head and put his hand on yours and held onto it. His thumb lightly grazing the inside of your wrist. Then he let go as if he recognized that he might have overstepped a boundary. You felt lightheaded at the brief touch. Maybe it was the wine.
He spoke slowly, “About earlier, did you really have a cramp? Or…”
“Or what?”
He looked at you unable to say the words.
“Or what?” You said, pointedly.
He didn’t answer. Instead he asked, “Are you okay?”
He asked so softly you could barely hear him. You felt your breath catch at the sincerity of his question. Oh God, don’t cry, you told yourself, but you couldn’t hold back the tears welling up in your eyes. You hoped it was too dark for him to see.
“I wasn’t trying to…” You stopped yourself. “It really was a cramp, okay?”
You walked away from him and to your front doorstep. “Don't forget to text me when you want to come over to swim,” you replied hurriedly. “Goodnight, Jungkook.” You walked to the front door without looking back. After you shut the door behind you, you slid down to the floor and sobbed harder than ever before.
No, I'm not okay.