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"Think about it anyway," I said. "You make a bad choice, and some of it can't be fixed. But you have a lot more choices coming up. The important thing is to try hard not to make another bad one."
Lan nodded, processing what I had said. We stayed a long time in companionable silence, watching the night darken around the gaslights outside and the shadows they cast on the street below. Finally, Lan pushed away from the window and walked over to where I was sitting. He didn't speak; he just laid a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. I looked up into his brown eyes, so similar to mine. Lan was so much different than I remembered him... Partly because of the accident, but also I sensed a certain maturity about him that hadn't been there before.
"Eff." he said softly, moving his hand along my shoulder, stroking my neck and moving up to hold my cheek cupped in his palm.
"I missed you." I said, tears beginning to form in my eyes. Lan wiped one away with the pad of his thumb, leaning ever slightly closer.
"You saved me, didn't you? I could feel your magic pulling me back together." I nodded, another tear spilling down my cheek. Lan got that one too, bringing up his other hand so that he was holding my face ever so gently. I looked back into his eyes, feeling the trust and love he was sending through his brown gaze. He was still scared, very scared, but somehow being together made it okay.
Lan came slightly closer, one of his hands leaving my face to take my hand and pull me to my feet. Once I was up, Lan pulled me closer, wrapping me tightly in his arms. I leaned into his chest, realizing that he was tall enough now to rest his chin on the top of my head. We held each other for a while, and I began to cry again. After a moment, I felt something wet seep into my hair and knew Lan was crying as well. We hadn't paid much attention to our bond as twins in the past, but suddenly it felt vital to our survival. I felt that we were even closer now than ever and I could tell that Lan felt it too. I let my Aphrikan world sensing take over, and suddenly I could feel Lan in more ways that one. Not just the carefully tamped down inferno of magic he was holding inside, but suddenly I felt his consciousness too. Lan must have been as surprised as I was when I reached out and touched his mind, because he jerked away from me, a surprised look on his face.
"Try it with the world sensing that Miss Ochiba taught." I said. Lan closed his eyes and concentrated, and after a moment I felt his mind brush against my own. It was an odd feeling, but I welcomed his presence, and slowly our minds melded. I could feel the rushes of emotions that he was feeling, and every thought he had flashed in front of my eyes. I reached out for him with my hands, and we were embracing once more.
"How..." Lan breathed against my hair as our minds withdrew. I shook my head.
A second later, Lan tilted my chin up to look at him once more, this time leaning further and pressing our lips together.
I was shocked at first. Siblings, much less twins... We shouldn't kiss! Then I felt Lan's mind against mine and an overwhelming sense of calm flooded into me. I relaxed into the rhythm of the kiss, following Lan's lead. He was more experienced with this kind of thing anyhow...
As soon as I thought that, Lan pulled away, giving me a look. I raised an eyebrow.
"You mean that you and William never...?" He asked. I burst out laughing.
"Lan Rothmer, you get the strangest ideas. I've never made eyes at anyone, let alone William."
"Good." Lan said, leaning down to devour my lips once more. I accepted him willingly, mildly wondering if I had heard a bit of jealously in his tone. In reply, Lan kissed me harder, moving me back until I was pressed against the wall. For a moment, I was sure Mama or someone would come in and rob us of this thing we had discovered, but Lan broke away to look me straight in the eye before pressing a quick kiss to my forehead. I blushed. It was so surprisingly wonderful to have this type of link with my brother, suddenly there were no secrets that kept us apart, and that thought nearly made me cry again as I realized how much I missed him.
Lan's brows furrowed and we both tensed, hearing a movement on the stairs. I could feel Lan's hesitation at casting a muffling spell, so I quickly did, not worrying if it was slightly off. The footsteps on the stairs faded as they went into the Kitchen then back to bed. Lan turned back to me, and I saw a new kind of look in his eyes. He was begging me, pleading for something. I held out my arms to him and he pulled me close. I felt our minds meld together once more, easier this time and I understood what he wanted. Lan shrank away from me, embarrassed, but I chased after his mind with my own, showing him that I wasn't angry, only surprised... And curious. It was wrong, and I had no experience with this sort of thing... Then I realized that Lan didn't either, and he needed it. I took a deep breath, then kissed him again. Lan's hands slid to my waist, pulling me to him. I let my hands trail through his long hair, then down to his chest.
Lan unbuttoned the buttons of my dress, revealing the tops of my breasts. I thought I would begin to blush as Lan kissed my neck and chest, but I didn't. He began to unbutton the rest of my dress, kissing as he went. Suddenly, my outer clothes were off, leaving me just in my underthings. Lan took off his jacket, and I helped him take off his long sleeve and under shirts. A slight breeze swept through the room from the open window, causing me to shiver. Lan noticed and picked me up to lay me gently on his bed. I felt a knot of nervousness build in my throat. I had no idea what would happen. One look into Lan's eyes showed that he didn't have any better idea than I. Slowly, he slid off his trousers, and I began to take my underclothes off. Lan helped me slide the soft fabric off my hips and threw it somewhere behind him. I flinched slightly as Lan's calloused hands found my hips, sliding his fingers over my ribcage and breasts. Being touched like this... It was completely foreign to me, and almost felt like I was doing something wrong. Well, of course it was wrong, it was with my own brother that I would have my first intimate relations.
"It's alright..." Lan's mind said to mine. I relaxed a little. Lan began to kiss me all over, love radiating off of him.
It was then that I realized I loved Lan too. That the worry I'd been feeling for him wasn't just sisterly affection, it was akin to the pining, keening love that my older sisters had described when their significant others were away.
Suddenly, I couldn't get enough of Lan's touch, and the flame of his passions was fanned by my desire, and we were devouring each other's lips, hands running over every part of each other's bodies. I could feel his left hand fumbling between my thighs, looking for a spot that would bring me pleasure, while his other hand gripped my right breast hand enough I could swear he would leave a hand print. His left thumb found its mark, and I gasped and wriggled as he found a small nerve ending that sent hot jolts of fiery pleasure through my entire body. My hand nervously found his shaft, and I rubbed it carefully, pulling away when Lan made a strangled sound in the back of his throat. He took my hand and put it back on his warm, dry length, pumping it quickly through my closed fist. My mind suddenly shifted to the day our parents had told us about this sort of intimacy. It was just after our thirteenth birthday, when the red spot appeared in my under things. Mama took me into the kitchen and sternly told me all about pregnancy and where childlings came from, while Papa took Lan down to the creek to talk about urges and things like that. Fear struck me as I remembered what caused pregnancy, and I felt Lan freeze too.
"Don't worry, Eff. I learned a spell. Just keep me together, okay?" I nodded, and used my magic to tentatively brace him. He said a couple words and made a few hand motions, and suddenly, my inside felt white-hot. I gasped and nearly lost my concentration, but I felt Lan pushing the spell into place and then it was done, and I lay panting on the sheets.
"Eff?" Lan said tentatively.
"I'm okay." I replied. The burning feeling was gone. Lan laid a hand on my stomach, then lowered himself down to lay on top of me. We continued kissing, and I could feel his hot manhood twitching in between our bodies. Lan pulled my legs on either side of his hips and settled himself at my most tender place. Our eyes and minds connected, he pushed inside of me.
At first I felt nothing, then Lan grunted and thrust his hips, breaking my virginity. I cried out, clinging to Lan's chest as he continued to slide inside me. Every millimeter felt like a thousand needles, and Lan's breathing became labored as my inner walls clenched around him.
"Eff…" He said, burying his face in my neck. My tears of pain disappeared into his hair.
Slowly, he began to thrust his hips. Centimeter by centimeter he worked his way deep inside me. The pain slowly dissipated and I felt a stirring deep inside. With every thrust, I felt Lan's manhood pulsing inside me, and a burning began to grow in the pit of my stomach.
Lan stayed silent aside from his heavy breathing, the pace of his thrusts increasing faster and faster until he was pounding into me at breakneck pace. The burning pleasure grew more and more intense until suddenly it felt like the earth dropped out from under me. I suspended for a moment, then flew back into my body, convulsing as layer after layer of pleasure washed through me. My mind was suddenly pulled to Lan's as my climax threw him over the edge. He let out one cry, and the mental explosion of pleasure nearly knocked me out. As we both lay there recovering, I felt Lan's seed pumping into the very core of my womb.
We lay like that for a long time, Lan still hard inside of me. We had no idea what had happened between our minds, only that it left us more tired than ever. At some point I fell asleep, lulled by Lan's breathing and his warmth surrounding me. Everything would be alright.