Work Text:
“Can you move your foot out of my face?”
“Sorry,” Bambam pulled his foot out of Youngjae’s cheek and put it back under the covers. Youngjae blinked hard. He was awake now that Bambam kicked him in the face as a ‘good morning’. He closed his eyes again, laying in his bed for a moment. He could feel Bambam’s eyes on his face, staring at him like an abused puppy. He felt bad for his friend, and wanted to help him, but right now he didn’t have time for this.
Bambam had come over yesterday to hang out with Youngjae, which he didn’t mind. But he insisted on staying the night. Youngjae wanted to kick him out and reschedule their sleepover, because he had time in the studio really early, and couldn’t reschedule it. Bambam really wasn’t the clingy, demanding type, so Youngjae had given in this time and let Bambam stay the night with him. He didn’t ask and Bambam never said why he was upset, but he knew it was about Jackson.
Ever since those two started hooking up a few months ago, Bambam started acting strange. He would get in these moods which often included asking Youngjae to spend the night. Youngjae wanted to help, but it was clear he couldn’t. These sleepovers were mindless to Bambam, just a cover to distract himself. Jackson was having his issues too, he just went to Jinyoung to deal with his problems, not Youngjae.
It wasn’t something they ever spoke about, but Youngjae could recognize the extra burden Jackson was putting on Jinyoung, and the strain their relationship caused the group.
Even though the kick in the face hurt, Youngjae had to get to the studio in less than an hour, so he texted Jackson to fix things:
He’s upset, I hope you weren’t being mean to him >:[
Hopefully that did something.
Bambam could see Youngjae didn’t want to be bothered with his problems. He understood, he was just lonely. He didn’t know why he felt this way when he had so many people cheering him on. It just sorta started happening after he kissed Jackson behind the scenes of their Halloween vlive. He had been angry at Jackson for something he couldn’t even remember, then Jackson made fun of him, and Bambam’s fist went flying. In all his years with his brothers, he never wanted to hit anyone like he wanted to hit Jackson. But his punch was deflected before he could land a hit, and instead of getting angry, a spark was lit in Jackson’s eyes.
Before that day, Bambam had only kissed girls, only known girls from his company. Kissing Jackson made his heart race. It was forbidden, it was new. He was kissing another man. Bambam could feel the stubble, much more and rougher than his, rub on his cheek. Instead of someone slender and soft letting him take the lead, he had to fight Jackson for it and still lost. But despite losing, he wouldn’t have had it any other way. Jackson was an amazing kisser. He wondered how Jackson had never made a point to brag about this before. He was obviously the strongest, but he wasn’t forceful, which made it easy for Bambam to move with him. He took his time to ease Bambam into his movements, not groping or grabbing him fast and awkward, but cupping his neck and holding his back. He couldn’t remember when he opened his mouth and let Jackson’s tongue inside, it was so effortless. And Bambam was surprising himself, enjoying being the one to be taken care of. If it was Jackson, he didn’t mind submitting.
He was back where he started, laying around his apartment and thinking about how lonely he wouldn’t be if Jackson were here filling up space. It was only a matter of time before they had to promote as a group and he could see him again, but the wait felt like forever. Yugyeom told him yesterday that he shouldn’t waste his vacation like this. The truth Bambam wasn’t willing to admit to anyone was that any time spent away from Jackson was time wasted. They didn’t understand.
Jackson was a lot of things: a good son, a good band member, a good friend. After nearly a decade, Bambam could say he knew Jackson very well, but until someone’s been inside you or vice versa, did you really know them? He wasn’t sure anymore.
The allure was hard to explain. Jackson was dark. He wasn’t the gentlest lover, but it was a side of him only Bambam knew. To the rest of the world, Jackson was humble and career driven, but out of the public eye, he liked to push boundaries. And it seemed like Jackson only liked to when he was with him.
“Hey, Bam.”
Bambam turned to look behind him, his heart racing. He had never felt this way before, so intensely drawn to someone. He was frozen in the chair for a moment, then remembering he had given Jackson a duplicate key to his house, he stood up. If he was following his instincts, he would wrap his arms around Jackson and kiss him til he dropped. But he was hesitant, keeping a distance in between them.
As bad as he wanted him, Bambam was having a hard time looking at Jackson. “Did you come back today?”
Jackson had a smile on his face, not loving Bambam playing stupid. “Yeah, I did.”
“You really had to go so suddenly?” Fuck. Why was he saying this, accusing him of doing his job? Bambam hoped he sounded casual, but he didn’t think so.
Jackson’s smile relaxed and he took a step closer to Bambam. “You know I dream big, the work never ends.”
Bambam knew that, they all did. But how could he say he was jealous Jackson was spending more time on his dreams than him without sounding crazy?
He wanted to punch Jackson, for these stupid feelings, but changed his mind a second later. Jackson invaded the space between them and kissed him. Just a little kiss to wipe the scowl off his face, and it was enough for Bambam to forget everything else.
“You missed me that much?” Jackson smirked, still lingering around Bambam's mouth, ready to kiss him again any second.
Bambam's lips trembled, and his hands went out to hold Jackson's sides. “I really need you close…”
Jackson was initially surprised Bambam was such a clingy lover when he was always one of the first to prove how tough he was. But this side of him wasn't something he shared with just anyone.
“Okay, get undressed. I’ve been waiting to fuck you.”