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" You absolute motherfucker ." Clarus hissed as he stormed into his office. Regis had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from giving anything away and movement off to his right had him watching from the corner of his eye as Cor put down his report to pull out his cellphone, presumably to record what was about to happen. “Regis…” His name being hissed had dragged his attention back to the fuming Shield.
Of course, Clarus was much too angry to see that their youngest brother was about to gain some serious blackmail on him, but Regis wasn’t about to point that out.
He felt his lips twitch, but forced out an offended gasp instead of the smug smirk that wanted to escape. Oh, he was going to enjoy this. "My, my... How ever could you swear such vulgarities, elder brother, and at your King no less?”
"I will swear as much as I damn well please, you fucking cocksucker." Clarus stalked up to his desk and slammed his hands onto it, scattering the papers across it. "You taught my four year old son how to say 'Fuck you, you cunt.' Which would have been fine, I could have handled that in private, except he was in public. Talking to Heather’s mother."
"Oh, dear!" Regis covered his mouth to hide a smile, watching with great amusement as Cor struggled not to laugh, hands steady in their filming. "That sounds horrible , Clarus. Almost as bad, wouldn't you say, as the Crown Prince telling the Queen of Tenebrae to go suck a scourge-filled behemoth cock when she inquired why he wasn't eating his vegetables during dinner." Regis offered, mild as milk, at Clarus' darkening expression. They stared at each other, Clarus glaring coldly at Regis' no doubt bland smile. Checkmate, brother dearest.
The door opened and Noctis waltzed in with a smile, Prompto tailing after him. "Hey Dad, Uncle Clarus, Uncle Cor." The two ten year olds then eyed the smoking Mount Clarus before skirting around him to stand next to their respective fathers.
"We heard shouting, is everything okay?" Prompto asked.
“Everything’s fine, cub.” Cor rumbled, which unfortunately brought Clarus’ attention to the cellphone in his hand.
And, oh Regis had never felt more like a proud uncle in his life when his nephew looked at Cor, then the increasingly red-faced Clarus and asked, with all the gravitas of an “innocent” child, if his uncle was being pranked.
"Time to go!" Regis grabbed Noctis, tossed a dagger out the window and warped a path down to the gardens below, with a Prompto-wielding Cor following behind seconds after.
"REGIS LUCIS CAELUM!" Clarus' enraged roar almost shook the entire Citadel. Regis quirked an eyebrow at Cor over their kids’ heads and he responded with a smug smirk, cellphone raised with the words ‘Video Sent’ flashing on the screen.
Even the gardeners avoided that particular area, at least until the maniacal cackling stopped.