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Lena stood in the bathroom, head bowed, arms across her chest, feeling like a complete imbecile. Of course Alex would show up unannounced. She had no idea what the sisters were saying, but a moment later the door opened to admit an earth-toned blur that solidified into Kara. She had stopped so that they were almost touching, and Lena instinctively took a step back. She tugged self-consciously at the towel, pulling it higher on her breasts, wishing she’d chosen the robe hanging on the back of the door instead.
Maybe it would be different if they’d actually had sex. Maybe it would at least be less awkward. But they’d alternated between talking and long stretches of silence, focused on their delivered food, sometimes sitting together at the table, sometimes apart, other times sitting on the couch facing each other. At one point, the key point in Lena’s mind, she’d started crying. Kara responded by going to her, wrapping her in a hug, and Lena was so overwhelmed by the contact that she started crying harder.
Just being in someone’s arms, being held, was enough to shatter her. She pressed her face into Kara’s neck and clung to her. She sniffled and caught Kara’s familiar scent, tears pricking her eyes. She blubbered, “Thank you, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” and Kara whispered that it was okay even though they both knew it wasn’t. This was only the first step of forgiveness. The road ahead was still long and full of pitfalls.
Kara had started to pull away, and Lena tightened her embrace. “Don’t... please.”
“Okay.”
When Lena was ready to end the hug, she turned her head and pecked Kara on the cheek. Kara tried to return the kiss, but Lena had moved enough that Kara’s lips landed on the corner of her mouth. “Oh,” and “sorry,” and then they were kissing properly. Lena took the lead, tensed for Kara to withdraw or show signs of reluctance, but instead Kara put a hand on Lena’s cheek and parted her lips.
The kiss ended as quickly as it began. They stared at each other. Lena could see herself reflected in Kara’s glasses: chin down, eyes up and searching, lips parted.
“I-I don’t want to take advantage of you...” Kara stammered.
“Do you know how long it’s been since I was kissed like that?”
“No.” Kara’s voice is tiny.
“Too long.”
Lena closed the distance again. They kissed, they touched each other through their clothes, they hugged to catch their breath and then they kissed some more. Soon the kisses were lazy, sleepy, and hands rested on curves more than they explored. Lena pecked the corner of Kara’s mouth while her hand was nestled between Kara’s blouse and undershirt, the skin of her hip warm against her palm.
Then Lena suggested a shower, and now here they were...
“Some scientist,” Lena said, trying for a self-deprecating chuckle to break the silence. “Can’t even figure out a shower faucet.”
“No, it’s tricky, it is...” Kara snapped out of her daze and stepped over to the tub. She pushed aside the curtain and leaned in, reaching for the tap. Lena looked at Kara’s ass, the shape of her body as she stretched. “You have to twist and lift at the same time, and...” She yelped as the water started, dousing her as she ducked back out.
She was only a little damp, her glasses dotted with drops. She took them off to wipe them on her shirt, and suddenly she became Supergirl. Lena’s breath caught in her throat. She still wasn’t used to that, the switch, one person becoming another. Kara heard the gasp and understood what it meant. She looked up, guilty, and slipped her glasses back on. Kara again. Awkward again. The water drummed against the porcelain, waiting.
“Um.”
“Thank you,” Lena said.
“Sure. It’s tricky.”
Without thinking, Lena reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears. The move made her towel sag. Kara glanced down, then quickly away.
“Oh.”
Lena tucked the towel back up. She hadn’t been exposed, just a bit of the breast revealed, but Kara was blushing again. Lena hesitated.
“Kara.”
“Um-hm?”
Lena dropped the towel. Kara blinked and took a step back. She looked away, then up, then closed her eyes and brought her hands up.
“You-you-you don’t... um, I should...”
“If you really wanted to leave, you could have been gone before the towel hit the floor.”
Kara opened her eyes. She looked at Lena and then slowly, deliberately, looked down. Lena held her breath, hands at her side with the fingers curled. She resisted the urge to pose or accentuate anything. No turned hip, no pushing out her chest, just naked and vulnerable. Her nipples, pale and pink, hardened in the cool air of the room. Her hand twitched, instinct telling her to cover up, but she remained still. She watched Kara look at her and tried to read the expression on her face.
“You can do whatever you want to me.”
Kara flinched and a line appeared between her eyebrows. “What? No! I’m not... that’s...” She grimaced, obviously frustrated at her inability to get a sentence out. She lowered her head to regroup, then looked at Lena with renewed determination. She took a breath and then stepped closer.
She put her hands on Lena’s shoulders and guided her to the shower. “Step,” Kara said. Lena lifted her foot and stepped into the tub. Kara joined her, even though she was still dressed. She remembered her glasses and pulled them off and stretched to put them on a shelf next to the tub. Lena stood with her back to the faucet. The water was hot now, and it pelted her between the shoulders before cascading down her back, over the curve of her ass, across her legs.
They looked into each other’s eyes. Lena and Kara, just the three of them if she counted the specter of Supergirl looming over the whole proceedings. There was enough water getting past Lena to dampen Kara’s clothes. Lena blinked and waited. Kara wet her lips and reached out with both hands, one on either side of Lena’s head. She stepped closer, almost touching, and cupped her hands. She brought them forward and bent her elbows, and the water poured down.
Lena closed her eyes and let the water flow over her head. Kara filled her hands again and moved them apart. This time she spilled it over Lena’s shoulders so it ran down her breasts. Lena parted her lips and shuddered even though the water was still hot. She leaned back until the water pelted the crown of her head, raining down on her, flattening her hair and veiling her eyes.
Kara’s hands followed the water down. Her fingers found Lena’s nipples, pinched and teased. And then her mouth was on them. Lena gasped, spluttered, and put her hands on the back of Kara’s head, holding her there. She gasped again every time Kara’s tongue slipped over her nipple, grunted and wrinkled her nose when she used her teeth, all the while she cupped the other breasts with her other hand.
“What do you want?” Kara asked, and then pressed a kiss to the inner curve of Lena’s breast.
“I want to touch myself.”
“I think you’ve touched yourself enough.” Kara straightened. She put two fingers on Lena’s lips. “What do you want?”
Lena stared at her. “I want you to touch me.”
Kara slipped her fingers into Lena’s mouth, and Lena circled her tongue around them. Kara stepped forward, now soaked, and pushed Lena against the tile. It was cold against her shoulders, and she put out an arm to brace herself as Kara’s hand eased between her legs. She wasn’t prepared for how it would feel to have someone else’s hand, let alone this hand, touch her so intimately.
She gasped and her eyes snapped open and she slipped on the porcelain, but Kara’s free arm snapped around her waist like a bungee cord. Lena realized she was being held up in one arm and looked at Kara’s bulging bicep, the muscles of her shoulder visible through her soaked shirt, all strength and security, and she rested her hand on it and squeezed as she pressed down against Kara’s finger.
The water was splashing over Kara’s head now. Her hair was flattened and dark, but she didn’t seem to notice. She used two fingers to slide over Lena’s pussy, and then her middle finger curled and pushed inside. Lena squeezed Kara’s shoulder hard, harder than she would have risked with anyone else, well aware she would break her fingers before she even started to hurt Kara.
“Come for me,” Kara said.
Even if holding back was possible, even if hearing those words whispered by that voice and amplified by tile, porcelain, and water, Lena knew she wouldn’t have lasted long. But now, with permission, she pressed herself fully against Kara - breast to breast, fingers digging into shoulder, thighs trapping hand - and shouted her orgasm loud enough that Alex probably heard it even if she had left the apartment already.
Her cry ended with a choked sob and a full body shudder, and her legs went weak. “I’ve got you,” Kara said, taking Lena’s full weight in her arms as if she was nothing. Lena moved her lips to Kara’s ear, kissed it, licked the shell, and then whispered two words.
“Use me.”
Kara hesitated, then shifted her weight. She straddled Lena’s thigh. Lena, guessing her intention, moved her hands down to Kara’s hips. Kara put a hand on Lena’s shoulder, the other on the wall for support. She looked at Lena, who bowed forward. Kara did the same, touching foreheads, and rolled her hips forward. She grunted. Lena nodded and tightened her grip, pulling Kara toward her.
“Use me, Kara.”
“Lena...” Her eyes were half-closed but laser focused.
“Yes. Come for me, Kara. Please.”
Kara put her head on Lena’s shoulder. Her legs tightened. She came with a quiet cry, and Lena shushed her and turned her head to kiss Kara’s hair.
“Kara,” she said. “You are Kara. You always have been, and always will be, my Kara.”
“Lena.” Her lips moved against Lena’s collarbone. “You are Lena, before anything else, above any other name, my Lena.”
Tears burned Lena’s eyes, but it was impossible to know if any fell. They held each other under the water, and Lena stroked Kara’s hair. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly. This wasn’t the end, this wasn’t back to normal. There wasn’t going to be any such thing as back to normal for them. But it was the start of something, the first steps into a new world they could explore together. A world of trust, with no secrets, all betrayals forgiven but not forgotten.
It was a world she felt she could very much learn to love.